#idk. i had this concept a white ago and started drawing and it morphed into that.

[floweypilled]

Growing in the empty space where a Soul should be

[imtiredofthis1-blog]

eh

i couldn’t find it..

i tell myself not to break and write about you.. i tell myself to move on i tell myself to just thrive in a better state and to do better.. and little by little im managing through.. but there’s small things that make think about you every detail of life my life has some sort of connection with you the ring you got me the clothes i wear the amount of love and help i got from you that’s my burden as i won’t ever reciprocate this to you

and that’s why i’m continuously in a rut to myself this is my general idea of maybe why i sit here.. and i get rejected by my idea of like seeing what went through your head when i came at you in destructive ways.. but the more in separated the more i see what i did and the more tweets i see from other people who went through the same the more i see what i was as well and i’m just like you know i don’t like this i don’t like how i was and how i’m perceived and you know what it’s time to grow out of this and so i do and post her avoid measageing you and at times i break cause i can honestly say i’m not perfect..

then i try to just tell people good things not for a reply or anything such but just to throw people support and to help in any way whether it be inter dimensional through an internet portal or in life ..

but my routine and life has painted it wrong and i will forever keep this image that has been tainted by my own action.. and i choose to grow from that image and work little by little to morph a better one

what else

if we ever do come across you have every right or every reason to avoid me i won’t confront you or anything i’ll just move on with my goal for that day or errand .. it sucks and if rwather be your friend but i can live with this i don’t like i really don’t and i bet you know that but it’s a life i have to be suited for

i wanna cry again im so weak and vulnerable im so young and i don’t hate this feminine side of me but i just don’t like being so negative and at a low..

i got an interview for the one right by you.. and it’s gonna be cool if i get it cause i really need more money and i can occasionally go and get more books when i’m there cause it’s right by that store as i go every thursday to pick up my books as this week i have books about growing food and cooking.. yeah i’m not doing it like burden you and be around you it’s more of my goal to fix my life..

mhm wholebplan is to

- get a good budget..

- buy a car

- save

- apartment

- read more about creating a home studio as in 1/3 into the book already

- cool my own meals healthy ones

- get running shoes and start going to the gym

- making a demo of 6 - 8 songs by the end of this year

- and keep working

2018 for me is gonna be pretty much growth here on out and i gotta find a new name because i was gonna go with prettymuch but i guess it’s taken

i already have a concept album or idea for art work i should say

then i have a couple pictures in mind for each panel of the booklet

a cd art idea?? not yet

my main point here is to get better at drums and music theory or scales i should say.

then after a few months of practice i can finally draw out my tune

the album would be bloom or liquid bloom the front face would be the idea i spilt a month ago i think and the back i could do the same as the front but reverse it with the room being white and the canvas filled or idk it’s still in process

the track list i have to figure out because if i really can’t go with prettymuch i guess i’ll find a better track list

1. early

2. asleep still

3. hungry

4. working

5. off

6. awake

7. tired

8. late

it’s be like those albums that begin and then at the end it’ll just loop back cause it kind of transitions..

but the track list names are still working out

it’s just if the name is pretty much

it would be like

oh you heard pretty much late or

pretty much early etc etc

it’s still a weird concept but yeah

the genre??? lol idfk

something internal

i had an idea when i was younger my friend classified all my emotional music into dream pop lol i could try to make that but we’ll see we’ll see m

i really doblove my ideas whether they’re not sacred to others that’s cool but something i found is we’re all artists and i blocked on artists life so i’m not gonna do that and i’m gonna open up each little book everyone has and listen to them

whether it be visual audio hands hands on digital anything i will listen i don’t hate country in just not a big fan there are some good songs but everything and everybody has different taste.. i mean check japanoise or vapor wave early stages

punk too every thing has its good and bad

mans maybe my stuff will be bad lol but i can see or hear i don’t mind the feed and develop on that

im not pretentious much but i do like to share at an alarming rate i’m really shy though anyways

i gotta go

and hopefully i don’t se you the day of my interview goodnight

xo 1/24 12:50