#idk why this was easier than doing the posters 😭

[saturngalore]

belly spotted in san myshuno!!! 🫐💕

[aajxs]

always and forever , SATORU GOJO !

the one where you're gone and satoru is reminiscing.

pairings - satoru gojo x fem!reader

contents - angstttt!!! , hurt/little comfort , mentions of death , mentions of blood , satoru gojo is bad at feelings , maybe ooc gojo (??) , arguing , idk what else to add so lmk if I missed anything

w/c - ???

a/n - the highly requested part two to 'meant to be'. I didn't really know how to end this but I hope it turned out okay 😭

masterlist , part one .

SATORU WAS ASKED the same question a lot. 'Is there anything you don't have?' He'd laugh this question off, give the person a cocky smirk and continue with his day. If he could, he'd give an entire list of things he doesn't have. Your name would be at the top of the list every time.

Satoru couldn't stand the atmosphere around jujutsu high now that you were gone. He used to sleep well knowing you were only a few rooms down peacefully sleeping, bundled in blankets and hugging whatever stuffed animal you had chosen out of your large collection that night.

Satoru always teased you about it, but that never stopped you from buying new ones. You had given him one of your favorite stuffed animals awhile back, and even though Satoru let out a laugh when you handed him the bear, he treated it with the utmost care simply because it was yours.

Before your room was emptied, Yaga allowed Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko to go through your belongings and take something to remember you by. Even if it was probably against the rules, he knew the four of you were close. The distant look in Satorus eyes said everything, and Satoru Gojo was never distant.

"Try to make it quick," Yaga said, patting Satoru on the shoulder as he walked out of the room. Your walls were littered with posters and polaroids, your nightstand had a book on it, your bed wasn't made, and everything felt so natural. Satoru knew that Suguru and Shoko would probably want some of your polaroids, so he only took the ones that had the two of you in them.

Your closet was still full of clothes. Extra uniforms because you always somehow ruined yours on missions, comfy clothes for when you weren't in your uniform, and the occasional t-shirt or pair of sweatpants that you had stolen from Satoru (He let you have them, but he always swore you took it simply because he liked being petty).

A part of him didn't want to take any of his stuff back, but he knew that if he didn't it'd probably be thrown away. Satoru went through your closet and grabbed anything that belonged to him, throwing it over his shoulder. When he was done, he turned around and strode towards your nightstand.

Satoru squatted down and opened the drawer to your nightstand and rummaged through it for a moment. There were notebooks that were mostly empty, and then sketchbooks filled to the brim with drawings. Satoru always saw you doodling whenever you got ahold of paper, and couldn't help but get curious. He would peer over your shoulder when you weren't paying attention and look at your little drawings.

He always thought it was cute how you'd keep a small notepad and a pen on you at all times just so you could draw. Whenever you and him would walk together to meet up with the others, you would occasionally stop to sketch the scenery.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Satoru questioned as he loomed next you, peeking curiously at what you were drawing. "Doing what?" You ask, glancing up at him for a moment before returning to your sketch. "You keep stopping to draw or whatever, why?" He asks again, this time a bit closer to you. "Well," You started, "It's easier than waiting until later when I don't remember all the details." You quickly explain, not caring to go into depth.

Satoru hummed and continued to watch you sketch. "I try to sketch out the base when I first see it, then make a better drawing later." You add as you glimpse at Satoru again. "Well hurry it up, we're gonna be late again." Satoru commented with a small smile, making you grin at him.

Satoru put down the notebook he was once skimming through, and grabbed one of your sketchbooks. He skimmed through it, most were of scenery, but there were a select few that caught his eye. There were a few drawings of Shoko and Suguru, and enough drawings of him that he couldn't count it on two hands.

Satoru blinked and a few tears he didn't know were welling up in his eyes fell onto the page. It was a drawing of him, it wasn't clear what he was doing in the drawing, but his face wasn't fully visible but from what he could see he looked focused. It was as if somebody snapped a photo of him and slapped it onto the page.

He cursed under his breath before picking up the notebook that he had put down earlier and placed it back inside your nightstand. After wiping his eyes, he closed the sketchbook in his hand and stared at it for a moment.

It wouldn't hurt to keep it.

Satoru took a deep breath as he stood up, taking in your scent one last time before exiting the room. Yaga was leaned against the wall, patiently waiting for Satoru to finish up. "What's with the clothes?" The teacher asked without thinking, slightly raising a brow in the process. "What do you think is with the clothes?" Satoru snapped, giving Yaga a look before trudging off to his quarters.

"Are you alright Satoru? You've been avoiding me and Shoko all day," Suguru voiced as he sauntered over to Satoru, who was sat under a large tree that was somewhat close to the school. "I'm fine, jus' been thinking, that's all." Satoru chirped back, sliding something into his pocket.

Satorus jacket was laying next to him, leaving him in his white button up. Suguru soundlessly made his way over to Satoru and sat down next to him, "Seriously, Satoru, what's up with you?" He asked gently, giving his friend a concerned look.

"I'm fine, Suguru–" Satoru began before getting cut off by a scoff from his best friend. "No you're not, tell me what's been going on." Suguru said, his voice stern. "Don't push it!" Satoru snapped his head towards the man next to him, an evident scowl on his face. Suguru visibly flinched away from Satoru.

"Ever since Y/N, you've been an asshole to everyone." Suguru said as he stood up, "She wouldn't want this." Before Satoru knew it, he was on his feet and Sugurus collar was bunched in his hands.

"Don't you dare try to tell me what she would want! You don't know her like I do!" Satoru yelled, his grip on Sugurus collar tightening by the second. "You're right, I didn't know her like you did," Suguru says, somehow keeping his composure, "And maybe I don't know you like she knew you, but I do know that this isn't you." He says while gesturing to Satoru with his hands, making his grip loosen slightly.

"I know it must hurt, but you need to understand that the rest of us are grieving too. Don't be selfish." Suguru says, and Satoru hesitantly removes his grip on his collar. "Me? Selfish? It's like I'm the only one here who actually cares!" Satoru curses, throwing his arms into the air in frustration.

"Y/N died in my arms! I came back here covered in her blood! It's almost like I'm the only one who actually gives a shit around here! Ever since the news broke, you assholes have acted like everything's normal! Like everythings not fucking ruined now that she's gone!" Satoru yells, shoving Suguru away from him, "Don't you dare try to call me selfish, you weren't there, Suguru." Satoru breathes shakily before snatching his jacket off the ground and walking off, leaving his best friend stunned.

That was the first time since your death that Satoru openly admitted that you were gone. Out of touch, in a place where not even Satoru Gojo can reach you.

After the incident with Suguru, Satoru tries hard to make it seem like he's okay. Like he's slowly getting over you. Over your death. In truth? It felt like it was getting worse. Satoru didn't eat or sleep, and he didn't have the energy or stimulation that his cursed technique required to be at its full power.

To a stranger, you and Satoru were simply best friends. Two people that understood each other through and through, even if there were a lot of ups and downs. To people close to the two of you, you were the only people who didn't realize the feelings the other had, and it caused a lot of problems in your friendship.

To Satoru, you were like his emotional support person. Better yet, his person. You were there for him when Suguru or Shoko couldn't be, you witnessed (one too many) of his breakdowns, you knew Satoru like the back of your hand. You were his and he was yours, even if neither of you realized it. Losing you meant he had one less person to lean on when things went bad.

Maybe Satoru was a little selfish after all.

The more Satoru thought about it, the more he realized your death could have been prevented. They should've given you a partner, they should've sent him or Suguru with you. If he got there a little earlier, maybe he would have been able to save you.

Satoru knew he would have to learn death sometime in his life, but if he knew you would be the first lesson, he would've let himself die a long time ago if it meant he wouldn't have to suffer the loss of you.

Satoru stared blankly up at his ceiling, recalling moments that reminded him of you.

Him and Suguru were walking in town earlier that day, and he caught a whiff of the perfume you used to wear. He froze in place and turned to look at the woman who was wearing the familiar scent, images of you flashing quickly through his mind. After that small moment, it felt as if Satorus mood had deflated like a balloon for the rest of the day.

Then, Satoru had taken off his glasses for a few minutes while in a large crowd, and a splitting migraine quickly formed. He recalled that there were many times when you two would be on the subway together, and maybe he had forgotten his glasses that day. You would drape an arm over his shoulder and cover his eyes with your hand.

You knew that his six eyes became overwhelming at times, and when he forgot his glasses it was hard for him to not look like he was in pain. You would always remind him that he needed to keep them on him at all times, and even convinced him to buy an extra pair to keep inside the pockets of his uniform just in case.

"Satoru, you can't keep forgetting them," You'd say as you held your hand over his eyes. At first he'd flinch away, and you would apologize before taking your hand away from his face. Then it'd be Satoru apologizing and grabbing your hand to place it over his eyes again, his lips curving upwards slightly at your sweet gesture.

It would always be you, that was something Satoru embedded into his mind. Even when he's older and has students of his own. Even when he's the strongest jujustu sorcerer in the world and has many people after him. Even when he's beginning to forget your face and what it felt like to hold you.

It would always be you, whether he wanted it to be or not.

© AAJXS

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

You saw Niall and it sounded amazing!

Holiii! I’m going to answer the message about Niall’s show. At least. Yayyyy!!

Seems like everybody wanted to cry after the show. If the blue postconcert was that strong, Niall did a great job👌

Awww. You really where a mom!! That’s so great. I love making friends while queuing. I always try to be prepared for everything, but sunscreen? Did you really had that at hand? Soraya, you are a pro. 

Oiiii. (Insert Louis’ voice). I do exist outside the internet!!😂 I just couldnt make it to the show, and also i am really shy and protective of my privacy. But i’m telling you. I exist.

Oh mymy. You were smart! I dont think my sister thought about googling the place to see the distribution. (Tbh, I had to show it to her). And you got the balcony! As you wanted. How lucky!!

Oh yeah. The dance floor has its perks but it can also be inconvenient, everyone is always on the phone etc, and if you are short, you dont really get to see it. Luckily, i am quite standard when talking about height and i have no problem seeing the stage. But yes, one of my friends is like 1.55 meter aprox and she is always complaining. Obviously. But idk, personally i like it. You can jump and scream and nobody pays attention to you, which sounds quite appealing to me.

Those girls with posters and singing 1d songs were them!! You saw them although you didnt know it at that time. Yeees. Okay, after reading what you said about Julia, i’m 100% sure that those girls were my sister and co. Bcs they said Julia waved at them when they were showing her the sign. She also waved at you??!! You were lucky. And had a good spot! She sounds so nice. I think my sister and co. were even more in love with her by the end of the show (just another obsession to add to the list and some news song they will never stop listening😂).

Oh!! Yes! I saw the video you posted. And i watched some videos on Youtube too. He was amazing. And he sounded fabulous. I can only imagine what it was like to saw that in person. Yeah, shows are always too short. Oh oh. By the way, how was “So long” live? (Not gonna lie. I havent even heard it yet. I dont know why. I know i should).

Ahaaa. He was so teenagerish (?) while in 1D. But know is a full grown up man! How fast the night changes🌚. They should stop growing because it makes me sad 😂😭.

Hola??? How is is possible that some people can get tickets to both shows? How lucky!! And a Meet and Greet even. Oh. Well. Niall must be around my height more or less😱 Idk why, but that makes me happy😂

You made a Louie friend!!!! Bien por ti! You really have a gift to find nice people. Of course they wouldnt look at you weird. Everyone goes there to enjoy the same music, they have no right to judge you. But heeey, i’m glad you feel safe and comfortable! In the end that’s what it’s all about.

Harry Tomlinson? ☡☡☡ Your larrie is showing😂 AND SHE WAS A LARRIE TOO!!! Best plot twist ever. You have a new larrie friend!!! You found 2 larries at 2 shows. You are infallible😂 (or we are everywhere).

Niall is really good at making everyone cry.  That should be his introduction: Hello, i am Niall Horan, I sing and i make people cry. Have a good night. 😂😂😂

Aaaay. Dont talk to me about Louis. I want him to come so bad, but i also dont want him to because i dont know if i will be able to go. I prefer to think that i cannot see him bcs he is not coming rather than bcs he is coming but i cannot go (its stupid i know). Ay señor. Why dont i live in Madrid or Barcelona? 😭 Then it would be easier. And i’m just thinking that if o saw Louis, i would probably forget how to function or how to say “hola” in english. Can you imagine that happening? I totally can.

Anywaaay. Your review was 10/10. I’m glad you had a great time, that you feel comfortable and that you made new (Louie/Larrie) friends🎊🎉🎈

And i’m sorry this is so long (i swear it, the answers grow up on their own, i dont to it). And i’m also sorry because now we have another conversation open. I am a messTM. Dont feel pressured to answer! Have a good day/night whenever you read this!💜

/—————————————/

Holaaaaa!!!!! I’m sorry for answering this so late. I promise I’m never this busy, but lately I don’t know what is happening that I have a lot of things to do. Well, today i think I have a bit of time, I hope I can finish this before my mom comes back home,lol.

��To be honest, I’ve learned the hard way that I have to have always suncream at hand. I’m not white. I’m reflective. I bright with my own light. (Así que, mejor prevenir que curar).

Mi mind is weird, I think I’ve told you before, jajaja, and in my brain everything related to 1d lives inside the icon of tumblr. It’s hard to explain without making me sound crazy,jajajaj. And you, or any other blogger exist the same way as any 1d member.  I’m weird I’m weird, I can accept that.

I googled the place bc I’m mom, jajaja. And I know myself and my limits. And I’ve had experience that had teach me things, y'know. She’ll remember how Niall’s concert went, and next time she’ll do the same things, and try to improve any flaws, if there were any.

You’re Niall’s height?? That’s not standard for a girl, girl! jajajaja. And yes, I like to dance and all that too, but I like to have my own space, so that’s why I chose stands or in Niall’s case, the balcony. But it’s the good thing about this things, everyone can have the best time. The show was amazing, I already told you, So long... 😍😍😍. He plays the piano, no? Well, the piano was at my side of the stage. And I only could see his back. Only me and another girl have that privilege, I swear. His back is... to die for. And loved the song. I hadn’t heard it a lot before (or since) the concert, but I knew some of the lyrics (just when he say so long), so I could listen to it. I loved it. I have to find videos of it. 

I’m happy for your sister and her friends. They might've felt blessed at that moment. Those memories last for a life. Congrats to them. Julia sounds so fun. When she waved at us, I sweared I would be her fan for life,jajaja. Honestly, I go back to my teenage days at concerts,jajaja.

That girl had been to several shows, for what she told us. I think Copenhague last year? Or some place in Europe. Plus Barcelona and Madrid. That’s just for Niall. I wish I have the resources to do the same,jaja. Or that my parents would have paid for all that when I was a teen, lol.

Yeah, I was lucky to find a Louie there. But I was just thinking that there was more Niall stans at Niall’s show, that Harries at Harry’s? Like, at Harry’s concert everyone went crazy with 1d songs. And at the queue everyone were singing 1d songs. But at Niall’s, people ere there for Niall, not 1d Niall. I don’t know if I’m making sense. I saw people on tumblr criticize the crowd for singing 1d songs (even the girl of the M&G and her mom). And she was mostly just a Niall stan. Same for the girls I met at the queue. I don’t know, just a reflection.🤷🏻‍♀️

Niall should definitely open his shows with that.

Same about Louis. I want him to come, IF I can go to see him,jajajjaa. I’m selfish, I know, But I don't ever want to see anyone that’s not me with him (🤣🤣, see what I did there 😜). And, yes, I can’t complain, because I live near enough to Madrid, and in less that a couple of hours I can be there. But if I know that if I'd live somewhere far enough I couldn’t go back and for in the same day, I couldn’t see any of them. And same, if I ever got to see any of them, I'd forget how to breath, I would die at their feet. But what a way to go, jajajja.

Hey, I tried to make this short too,jajajajjaja. I love that we both talk a lot. I’m sorry it took me so long to answer. I have to see how to post this now, bc it’s different from a simple ask. So, I don’t promise anything. I’ll try my best.