#idk why it’s so hard to check
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
reminder: if you don’t know if my reqs are open pls check my navigation on my blog. /nm
I am not doing reqs at the moment. it will say open in green and I would post an update saying that it’s open. otherwise, it would say closed in red if I am not taking requests.
just click on my username to go on my blog, I’m sure a couple extra steps won’t hurt :/
#idk why it’s so hard to check#that’s why it’s in my navigation as an indicator#I’ve been receiving reqs for a while#I don’t understand#inbox is open for general talks and thoughts#but not reqs#[ 🍡 ] — lil updates.#[ 🎐 ] — miss gyu q.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#not art#fhjy spoilers#its!!! gods I will Be My Ass in the tags rn. but thats so like. deliciously setting typical#like porter's desire is to transcend and his contempt for the world he's in feels. idk Real#like he plays the game bc he wants to win and be done with it. how do I word this#yknow. being a god would like. be his win state. when he gets that happening thats it his story is done he checks out#meanwhile the bad kids do actually just like playing the game lmao. like they love adventuring!#theyre so solidly Of This World. they carry the values that can only be born of it and they like having mastery over it#its a meta angle that I think is very fun specifically for d20 being in such a unique position in the zeitgeist when it first started#the rat grinders are from DnD Writ Large. porter wants to escape. but this is the bad kids' home its Their Actual Play Show#which makes it so fucking excellent to me that porter's question is somewhat of merit! its their show and it tries very hard to punish them#and they just straight up dont listen to him here lmao bc they hate him but! since the moment the academic track ended its been clear#that they save the world bc they Like Playing. With Each Others#thats what riz thinks the core of adventuring is! thats why fig stayed! and I also think thats why this hovers over elmville now and#a dead god is coming back in the school gym. porter is a shit evangelist but even if hes a good one I dont think it wouldve worked like he#wants it to. the only way he couldve escaped is if he'd not involved elmville at all. thats where the bad kids met dude#its a shitty place that fucks with them but they all come back here bc they wanna play with each others#and in that regard I think thats what the stress tokens ultimately means. Is This Game Still Fun To Play. ITS A RAGEQUIT LIMIT#Im literally running from one end to another of this conspiracy board Ive pulled out of nowhere#Ill draw after this I just wanna get this out. gods this episode has done nothing but furthering my delusion of grandeur actually#Im the hottest smartest manthing on earth Im king fucking midas over here. anyways uh! great ep!
317 notes
·
View notes
Text
KIM KITSURAGI - I was born here. I grew up here. It's the only home I've ever known. And there's a good chance I'll die in the line of duty here, too.
But -- to most of my countrymen, I will always be some monkey fucker.
DISCO ELYSIUM - CONVERSATION #1201
#Reposting this cause i feel like it deserve its own post idk#Disco Elysium#Disco Elysium fanart#Kim Kitsuragi#smoking#cw smoking#bright colors#eyestrain#possibly?#i have so many thoughts regarding Kim's relationship with his race#if i think too hard about it i think the veins in my head are gonna explode#art#artist on tumblr#digital art#fanart#my art#Why does child Kim have long hair?#transgender#I keep thinking about this failed red check.#It's understandable that many people immediately reload the save after they failed this check because you have to call Kim a slur lol#but this is one of my favorite conversations in the entire game and it’s sad that some people might not get to see it#It has so many dialogues that stuck with me#“To me⸝ you're my partner.”#I love you Kim
124 notes
·
View notes
Text
"I had to save them"
Rest in peace, Liam. Your sacrifice will never be forgotten. 😔✊
I finally finished this, YAY! This animatic is a mix of digital and traditional art. I definitely learned a lot of tricks while making this (also, can you notice the slight difference between art styles??).
This animatic singlehandedly explains what happened to JD after his mom sacrificed him. He was definitely ready to accept his faith until he discovered Branch's was with him (which almost gave him a panic attack). It was a good thing that everyone decided to help him, and Liam (a troll around his age, maybe older?) helped him escape.
For more context about my au check this post!
I obviously don't own the audio, only the animatic. "Bruno is Orange" by Hop Along featuring Francis Quinlan, so credits to them. Here's the link
#Idk why I gave Liam a name#but I think he deserve it cuz he suffered#he might live#maybe#idk#also-- the running animation is SO hard to make HAHAHHA#I legit had to use my brainpower for this and constantly check if what I'm making is okay#but even with the challenges I enjoyed making this#the result is very satisfying and I can't believe I did it#I swear to you guys this animatic has been stuck on my mind for WEEKS so I finally decided to try my hand on this type of animation and#bring my daydream to life#trolls#dreamworks trolls#john dory#trolls band together#trolls 3#trolls au#trolls john dory#branch trolls#trolls branch#Beyond Reach au#BR!JD#BR!Branch#BR!Liam
195 notes
·
View notes
Text
Winter stainmight, winter stainmight! ❄️
Plus a comic
A silly headcanon of mine that is 100% canon/j is that Stain always has some spare pair of gloves with him ONLY because Toshi always forgets his 😭 I think after a while it will just become an ordinary thing for them. Just a small moment of Stain caring for Toshi hehehfd :3
#cj 24#art#doodles#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#all might#toshinori yagi#stain mha#hero killer stain#akaguro chizome#stainmight#stainmight in big ass coats and scarfs save me#yes I know it's not winter yet but please hear me out it's fucking snowing like crazy where I live#november is basically winter for me so yeah WINTER STAINMIGHT!!!#real ones know how long it took me to figure out their clothes#stain I hate you why are you so hard to pick clothes for#I really love his boots tho#and idk if I like his coat#I feel like he wouldn't wear something that is difficult to move in because bro is always ready to fight habsbdbbd#but uhhh I mean he is just chilling with Toshi so no need to worry ig#anyways look at Toshi he is so old HAAHHAHSHSHSHHDHDHD#he is grandmacore#and also idk why but I feel like he would enjoy winter a lot? IDK???#I just imagine him always going for walks and also enjoying snow grhhhhh#tho he is always cold he still likes it :3#I need to draw stainmight snowball fighting building snowmen making snow angels and GHRHHHG SO MUCH MOREEEE#I will draw them covered in snow for like *checks the calendar* 4 months AT LEAST#idc that it doesn't snow much in Japan I'm teleporting them to my city and make them suffer from -30°C temperature
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lrb dear god, this reminded me of that time when Alfred-chan got sooooo mad at my post explaining why fans should respect bisexual headcanons for Maria and Malenia instead of pretending like they're canonically lesbians and that they get oppressed and erased by mxf ships with them. They kept vagueing that post for like a MONTH in their blog including in tags under reblogs of Maria fanart, passively-aggressively changed their url to character+sexuality to "spite" me and then even made a sockpuppet account to start shit with me in the comments.
They deactivated when me and Val completely obliterated their "you cultivate lesbiphobic following by telling people why they should respect all sexuality headcanons instead of acting cultish or assuming their experiences and stereotypes equal canon confirmation" garbage with actual facts and logic tho but I screenshotted everything fjthfgfj (I learned to document everything the hard way after they've changed the she/they pronouns to they/they pronouns ONLY to accuse me of misgendering, so thank you for making me wiser I guess 😎). Even more vile, as they, a white person, larped as an Arab in that sockpuppet to hold even MORE "privilege" against me in discussion gjtjfh Because for them race, gender or sexuality are just badges of honor and dishonor, they don't see these as traits of actual human beings. And Dr Eugene X, who worked with them and weaponized her race to accuse everyone who disagreed with her of racism, didn't bat an eye at such a terrible act too?? As usual, rules are not for their friends, lol
It is not even the worst thing Alfred did, and yet all of this just, just, JUST because I wrote a point on why bisexual headcanon people did nothing wrong and there is no ground to claim something is canon when it isn't. 🤦♂️ Like, they were soooo convinced that I hated lesbian headcanons and that I'd feel angry if they called Lady Maria a lesbian, when what I was angry at is this exact toxic behavior in the fandom. No matter how much you like a headcanon, don't be a bitch about it. Maria doesn't """belong""" to any gender or sexuality, she belongs to anyone who likes her and is invested in her complexity as a character!!!
Yet, apparently, common Malenia simps / Finlay shippers are no better than common Maria simps / Mariadeline shippers. Just, wild how after shit like this, many people have the guts to claim that it is "sexist redditbros" who are the biggest problem of creators in the fandom. 🤦♂️ They'd actually blush if they encountered what such self-proclaimed "feminists" do to their own (!!!) over headcanons. 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
#also fuck anna for thinking shit like this and way worse things alfred did is not as evil and toxic as#as me snapping at her for DEFENDING alfred#wiki: I can excuse stalking harassment cultish shunning bullying fantomette lying slander weaponizing identity but-#-I draw the line at katy getting too emotional when I admit as much uwu#granted she did admit that the reason for this is because alfred didnt concern her personally#she is probably the person I'll forgive last in this situation if ever#as much as I hate alfred they clearly have no empathy and compassion and lie for medical reasons#it isn't my assumptions they often reblogged this shit#I know mental illness is not an excuse for so much harassment for variety of reasons but-#-why would someone want to change if they medically can't feel guilt for their actions?#I feel bad for them and they hopefully will get help#as for Eugene idk... they seem to be a typical brainwashed youth#such people either change with age or get strongly bitten in the ass and get reality check#granted people who still follow her did admit she goes head hunting and then plays victim#as well as they only keep in touch because they worry they'll be dragged down if they are not at her good side#rather than because they like her posts (which are so untrue to BB that she can just make OCs anyways)#choir boy is literally just mindless sheep that didnt even have dignity to make it personal#hence is the name#I am sure he is lovely in his own circle it just doesn't concern me or my friend#but anna?#she knew what she was doing and has no excuse#fandomry rambles#it is also funny how they are four cringe failures and us are four based people#best AND worst groups come in four lol#also I know you all are dying to know how I can still hold grudges year later right?#it is hard to explain#I live normally and recover and not think of it but then scar starts to hurt#like you know how physical scars can react to weather or shit? mental can too
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ngl as a small business owner who puts out something extremely pirate-able and who has never earned enough to make a pay check, this...
...is extremely upsetting.
Do y'all realize that most small business are maybe a handful of people? Do y'all realize that company's like LLCs exist to protect owners from legal and financial repercussions if the company falls apart? I'm not a company because I have stockholders, I'm a company so that if the business goes bankrupt the banks can't seize my fucking house. It's not evil to use existing legal structures to protect my family's assets. It's not unreasonable to ask people not to steal from businesses like mine.
It's like on Tumblr when it's One Artist or One Author Doing The Thing Themself you guys are all about it but the minute anyone tries to collectivize to do better we go from One Person Against The World to The Embodiment of Capitistic Evil with no in between, which is especially insane coming from the website that claims to think individualism has turned toxic and we should do more with community organization. The minute lots of people are involved in a business, there HAS to be legal structures like contracts and shit to protect the people involved. The Lone Creator Forging a Path is great for that one person. What about everyone else?
And so... some of us try to make a company to lift up a group.
And then I see shit takes like this.
Maybe. Maybe DONT fucking pirate from literally anyone just cause they've got the word "company" I'm the name?
Maybe remember that for small businesses, yes even when they're a company, there's a single person, or a family, or a group of friends, who are working their asses off to build something, and actually? Stealing from them makes you a FUCKING DICK.
Like. You realize we're just people right? Other regular people trying to survive the dystopian hellscape that is the now?
Maybe stop acting like you're automatically entitled to the labor and creations of others solely because you've decided that there is an entire huge category of people it's okay to steal from.
Like honestly. What the fuck.
#unforth rambles#i get that a general post isnt about me specifically#but yall realize that in the same way that saying certain things about appearance causes splash damage to everyone who shares that appearan#saying shit like this does splash damage to people like me#well i didnt MEAN a small place like yours i meant disney#well thats not at all what op said and i am definitely included in what op said#i know how hard i work and the people like me work#and i guarantee that even if some people reblogging this mean big places plenty dont and they feel validated by this#idk if our stuff has been pirated i refuse to check#but i intentionally dont use drm because fuck thwt noise so its certainly possible#and considering i work 50 hours plus a week and have never gotten paid while trying to build this into something sustainable#i think maybe you can appreciate why this shit pisses me off so bad#i am the splash damage on your piracy is cool oh but i didnt mean from you hun kinds of posts#if there are truly times you dont think piracy is okay maybe stop reblogging posts that say its always okay#also apologies to the mutuals who reblogged rhe above#i know you dont mean me but tbh that doesnt mean it doesnt hurt
97 notes
·
View notes
Text
i am so glad that in this world of weird borderline ed triggering and promoting content there are also many women who openly talk about how fucked up these beauty standards are because sometimes it really feels lonely like i am not the only one who's suddenly being constantly slapped with thinspo content. the obsession with body fat smile lines eye bags shaving hair is fucking weird stop bringing that shit back i thought we were all over it
#like you don't get i thought i was the only one who was suddenly constantly worrying about my weight and how much i gained how if my face#looks fatty or not idk it was sudden rise and i've been working really hard to get away from it because that isn't me!!!! i don't those#constant weight check shit!!! i don't care what i am eating as long as i am happy!!! so why is it bothering me now!!!#fuck off i don't want this this isn't me. nicole ilysm for that video#tw body dysmorphia#tw body image#v.txt
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gothmog, Thuringwethil, and bonus Tevildo
i was digging around in my files and rediscovered some really old silm art of mine, including my original angband trio designs (mostly traced off heroforge models lol):
and they're actually pretty cool! thuringwethil's tail is maybe a little questionable of a design choice (how are you supposed to fly with a giant tail flopping around...) but it looks really good on gothmog.
i don't really remember what i was doing with sauron (he looks a little like early curufin for unknown reasons) and idk what the wrist things are supposed to be, but Original Flavor Thuringwethil was actually a corrupted maia of manwe (eonwe's sister?), hence the feathers instead of traditional bat wings. for Original Gothmog i am less sure about his origins but he is possibly a corrupted maia of ulmo (originally a sea serpent, hence the tail and ulmo style ear-fins) who basically dried up into a more stone-based serpent
anyways i think I might keep thuringwethil's face/wing design and gothmogs full design for future use
#silm#silmarillion#sauron#gothmog#thuringwethil#hm now i must go check the other ancient dusty designs#yeah idk why thuringwethil has a tail i think i just wanted her to match the other two#for some reason half my original flavor elves look vaguely like curufin or celebrimbor#idk why they jsut all have celebrimbor vibes#my modern design gothmog is more coal-y#like with black skin black armor magma skin cracks and fire hair#which is also cool but very hard to actually see the details on#so maybe ill use Gothmog the Fair as his default design and Gothmog the Burnt as like an intimidating battlefield design#okay yeah hes a maia he can have two different fanas right?#definitely not keeping the giant pauldrons for thuringwethil though#not sure how shes supposed to raise her arms over like chest level in those things#also unclear how the tattered danglies are attached to her sleeves#are they sewn on for dramatic effect?#2021 me had really cool ideas and a rather poor understanding of how clothes actually work#oh well i can fix that now#ooh maybe ill do an uncorrupted thuringwethil/gothmog next
57 notes
·
View notes
Note
tlj writes 1000 words of poetry that could be summerised in "lemme smash" but sqq doesnt know about poetry details yet so it doesnt click. it takes him asking his damn shizun what this word is supposed to mean for him to find out some shit like "should the sweet juice that drips find its way to my lips, one would treat it as the finest ambrosia" means "pLEASE lemme succ". haunting. devistating. but also hold on hes been writing like this forever and hes made no physical passes what. huh.
Oh god. I can see this go two ways, depending on how good/close SQQ's relationship is with his master.
If they have a good relationship, then SQQ's shizun would be all up in arms because who dares write this kind of filth to his little cabbage?! All right, A-Jiu, which rich noble wastrel is this shameless about trying to seduce a head disciple from one of the great sects?
Alternatively: SQQ is trying to prove that he's Competent to his shizun so he can't go to him with questions like that, no sir. But they teach some poetry and stuff on Qiong Ding too - not how to write it, but just enough about analyzing/understanding it to appear cultured and smart in high company, you know? So SQQ grits his teeth and goes to YQY for advice which is only slightly better (don't you dare think this means that he forgave you!! You are still in the dog house, Qi-ge!!!!) but at least it's less humiliating that having to involve his shizun.
So uuuuuh. Yeah. SQQ and YQY sort of reconcile over the horrifying realization that TLJ wrote him a whole book's worth of erotic poems. Either YQY gets super jealous over this (in which case SQQ has great fun playing off his two 'suitors' against each other until he decides that you know what? he has two hands and he worked so hard, he deserves to have two boyfriends) or YQY goes into protective big brother mode and makes a solid attempt at bullying TLJ to see how serious he is about courting SQQ (very serious. if this whole peak lord thing doesn't work out, SQQ has a very stable job opportunity waiting for him as empress of the demon realm.)
Either way it would probably end in "let's save TLJ from HHP's bullshit so he can marry SQQ right and proper" shenanigans.
#svsss#I feel like if SQQ's shizun has a good relationship w/ his feral cat disciple#then he would be absolutely down for enabling the madness of TLJ courting SQQ#if YQY has a sibling relationship with SQQ then sooner or later TLJ will make it a pet project to set him up with someone#YQY is important to SQQ so YQY's happiness is important to TLJ! and that's why he's going to arrange a date between him and *checks notes*#idk probably LGJ since MBJ is already taken and ZZL wouldn't be very compatible with YQY I think#'can I interest you in an ice demon husband? only slightly grumpy very hard worker!'
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
On the left, Brass Dragon! It's a metallic dragon, so adults are roughly in the 20-80 foot (6-24 m) range. They have two breath weapons (sleeping gas and fire), can magically cause fear, can animate statues to do thier bidding while in their lair, and can shapeshift. They're chatty desert dwellers who avoid fighting if at all possible. They just want good conversation, they're the most sociable dragons.
On the left, Efreeti, aka Fire genies! 10 ft (3 m) tall, sadistic, dominating, and will definitely twist anything you say if you try to get a wish out of it. They can also use enlarge/reduce to eliminate/exaggerate height differences! (note: about 1% of genies are born with the ability to grant wishes. They're called "Noble genies." Noble isn't just thier title, though it is also that because reality-warping powers tends to make you the boss.)
#there. redid the whole brass dragon thing and triple checked it. should be right. idk why that was so hard for me XD#brass dragon#efreeti#smash or pass#dnd 5e#dnd#d&d#5e#d&d 5e
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just as a reminder because I found out I had some people interacting with me. If you're neutral towards pr0shipping or whatever get off my page. If you're buddy-buddy with pr0shippers while "being neutral" on the subject, get off my page. I do not understand how that is a hard boundary to follow.
#if i have something like that apart of my dni and you interact with people who fit that. why do you think you can follow me as well#I dont care if you dont “participate” in it. youre encouraging it#and dont argue with me about the topic in general i've stopped trying to change peoples minds. just follow my boundary of not following#it cant be that hard.#genuinely it cannot be that hard.#use common sense#im putting a 0 in the word so it doesnt show up in the word search for it.#I dont skim through my follower list like a hawk because I trust in people to sort themselves out. but if I check someones page and see you#blatantly interacting with a pr0shipper then you're getting blocked idk what to tell you
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
2024 reads / storygraph
At The Feet Of The Sun
book 2 in a slow paced high fantasy duology*
the right hand of the emperor (who is off searching for an heir) struggles with what to do after passing on his responsibilities and also discovering various pieces of information that are mindblowing to him, personally,
after adventure is thrust upon him, he travels to find His Radiancy and they go on some otherworldly adventures while growing closer and figuring out the nature of their friendship
(*there’s extra novellas & i think another book coming? duology adjacent, currently,)
#At The Feet Of The Sun#lays of the heart-fire#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#giggling and kicking my feet. and also crying#bro the yearning….the yearning#I can definitely see why this loses people - it’s so long and very self indulgent#(listen. i enjoy it a lot . but does it need to be THAT long (i just checked. 375k? lord))#but it is easy to read and also very funny. it felt less repetitive than the first book to me#I did find it hard to keep track of some of the side characters though#The first world-travelling stuff caught me off guard initially - I feel like all the weird magic was more background in book 1?#or maybe I just didn't pay attention.#taking a step back it is a bit like - kip sure does achieve everything and then some and just continues to achieve everything huh#and it gets to a point where it's like.....okay yes I get he's so talented at this etc etc.#but I guess it’s a nice change of pace from the kingly swordfighting fantasy protagonist who’s perfect and wins everything -#someone whose skill is people and negotiation in a humble way is a bit more interesting. still. it maybe felt less grounded after a while?#the deep exploration of platonic yearning and desire for strong friendship and fear over that person just wanting romance/sex#when that’s Not what you want out of the relationship………#not to mention his complex feelings over meeting two people who were like his platonic soulmate rolemodels#and then finding out they just used that term because gay relationships weren’t accepted and trying to not be disappointed#(because gay is also good!) but also like. so lonely in feeling like nobody understands his desire for a platonic soulmate#to be treated equally as romantic relationships are. oof#I am a little baffled to see people interpret it as a romantic asexual relationship?#I feel like that does such a disservice to the . everything that has been set up in what 600k words of books#like the implication of that is that you think other romantic rships w/o sex are unheard of in this world. I find that hard to believe idk#(I mean - a bit romantic on fitzroy’s end; and in the nebulous queerplatonic area between friendship and romance; sure#but like a straight up romantic relationship just without sex - I don’t understand how it could be interpreted that way lol?)#(anyway other people’s interpretations don’t matter)#I do have questions about the telepathic dinosaur soulmates. you can’t just mention that and now show me them#also. kip being like 'wait there were sirens? i wonder if i can hire them' kshfkjsgkf#asexual books
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Good news; porting something from fems to Killer Bod not actually so scary, might be able to do it more often for things that aren’t too complicated maybe…
Bad news: the skirt has weights crafted by Zodiark specifically to make me cry also pls ignore the funkiness of Mochiie’s overall shape hes got Chuu’s body scaling because I was being lazy while mod testing
News?: I’m gonna take a look at some other skirts in xiv and even some modded ones to reference and see if I can’t maybe salvage the situation. But it’s pretty. Scary. Also Mochiie is so pretty haha oh my GOD.
#day-2-day#mod WIP (checks wrist) Tuesday#someone clap for me my back hurts from thinking so hard and from slightly shrimping with concentration#“2sday do you even want Mochiie to wear this?’’ almost! I dunno! maybe!#why did I port this of all things? idk I wanted to.#it tickled some part of my brain that was like. you want this. and I was like. yah I do.#I forgot I was working on a FeralPaws Upscale 🤧😵💫😷
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
I adore reading your rambling tags, don't stop posting things there 😩
Don't you worry. I think I might be incapable of stopping idk what happened I never used to tag ramble
#asks#anon#i do really love talking. clearly LOL#but ive also been working on listening the past few years#and thays pretty cool too#i had to learn how to think before i speak. like legitimately im not hearing the words I say#im thinking about my next sentence while i say the current one#its exhausting and i never remember what I've said HWJJJSDJEJ#but people tell me im direct and deliberate and clear so idk...#but listening is also really hard...#conversation in general is really hard#i stll love it of course#its just very tiring for me#which is PART of why I like to do this when i cant sleep cause of nightmares or whatever#tires me out haha and also is a great distraction#and is good practice! for me#so idk i just like it. and its nice to know its not annoying#i wouldn't post hardly any words at all without the safety of the tags#they're not rebloggable so thats a relief#you have to opt in to read them#the space is limited. etc etc#so. im glad it is wn option and im glad its a welcome one!#no intention to stop#thank you for the reassurance on it#delete later#maybe. I'm so tired i need to check later to see if i wnt to delete it#anxiety meds working yay i can sleep bye
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
6 notes
·
View notes