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accirax · 3 months ago

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Danganronpa: Despair Time Chapter 2 Episode 12 Dissection

DANGANRONPA DESPAIR TIME IS BACK, BABY!!!

And in the vein of what many others have being doing since the episode came out, I will here be posting my thoughts on what this latest episode has brought to the table. This post will be a mixture of pointing out things I found fun/interesting and more serious theorizing about the murder and the events of the surrounding chapter. I also tried not to read too many other people's opinions or theories before writing my own post so that I hopefully wouldn't have my immediate opinions swayed, so I apologize if I've missed any critical easter eggs that others have pointed out or if I'm just beating a dead horse.

Let the episode commence!

SPOILERS for Danganronpa: Despair Time through Chapter 2, Episode 12!

Really important/long stuff will probably have a header-y title under it as well. I also might skip around in time a bit to put relevant pieces of evidence together? IDK, I'm kinda winging this for this first episode.

The Whole AM/PM Thing

Charles: The evidence against David-- in fact, our entire line of reasoning hinges on the fact that Arei must have been killed at around 7:30 PM last night. But the primary reason we believe the murder occurred at that time is because of the fish found at the crime scene. From that, Teruko concluded that since the killer accessed the relaxation room for water, the murder couldn't have occurred during night time. So, unless I'm missing some other piece of evidence that could explain it... Why couldn't the killer simply have taken the water during daytime and stored it for later use?

Well, by this point I think that pretty much everyone (on Tumblr, at least) was in agreement that Arei was killed in the morning rather than the evening, no matter who their personal choice of killer was. So, the murder happening in the morning isn't much of a surprise.

For all my talk of trying not to look at others' theories, I did talk with my sister @venus-is-thinking in person after we watched the episode, and she brought up a really good point that I'd like to reiterate here. Sorry for stealing something that you'll certainly bring up in your post as well! I just want as many people to be aware of it as possible.

During the investigation, Nico says that they fed the fish last night after they ate dinner, and didn't notice any fish missing at that time. To be fair, Teruko tries to press them for a specific time, and Nico responds that they don't remember at what hour exactly they fed the fish or ate dinner.

However (likely relevantly to the murder) we do have specific intel about last night's dinner to get a better sense of some timing. When Teruko is talking to Charles and Whit in the Computer Room, Whit remarks that it's "past dinner time," and Teruko's stomach growls. This is likely using Whit's internal clock and sense of when dinner time is as opposed to a MonoTV-mandated meal time, but given that no one else is in the Kitchen besides Teruko, Charles, Whit, and David when the former three enter, and we know that Nico must have had dinner before the Relaxation Room closed at 10 PM, we can probably assume that Nico also ate dinner around a regular "dinner time."

However x2, we also know that, after Teruko, Charles, and Whit go to the Kitchen, Whit sends David to the Relaxation Room, and Teruko mentions that she was planning to eat there as well. That means that we have three accounts of students believing that the Relaxation Room was open at that time, so we can assert that the terucharwhit dinner scene occurs before 10 PM.

So, what does this mean? Well, we'll start by assuming that Nico ate dinner at, like... 6:30? Hu says that she and Eden have a tradition of cleaning up after dinner together, starting at 7 PM. I'm ballparking that eating a meal might take about 30 minutes, so that would mean everyone is done at 7:00. Therefore, Nico probably fed the fish at around 7:00 as well.

We'll also set egg dinner (that's what I'm calling terucharwhit + David dinner now) at, like 9:30. Once again assuming that someone could eat dinner in about 30 minutes, that means either David or Teruko could comfortably eat their dinner before the Relaxation Room closed. It also gives the culprit basically the widest possible amount of time to steal the fish, and I like to be as all-inclusive as possible.

To return to the main point for a moment, Venus' argument was that, because Nico interacted with the fish at night and didn't notice any of them missing, the culprit still must have taken the fish at night (but before 10 PM), not just at any point of the day. Based on my time frame, that means that whoever killed Arei (or someone working with them) must have gotten the fish at some time between 7:00 and 9:30. Let's run through who that could possibly be:

Teruko: There's a small window of opportunity for her to have done it before meeting with Charles and Whit in the Computer Lab, but we didn't see her do that, so I'm gonna say no.

Xander: He was dead.

Charles: I'm pretty sure Charles and Whit have claimed to be together all day, and they were at least already together in the Computer Lab working together on something before Teruko entered. Assuming they weren't in on this together, I'm going to give him a tentative no.

Ace: So, assuming that Ace was telling the truth about overhearing David and Arei on the night of Day 7, he would have been in the Gym at ~9:30 on the night the fish were taken. That is to say, if he had just taken the fish (and potentially even hid them in the Gym fridge), he absolutely could have gone to the Gym afterwards. I don't remember him having any sort of alibi otherwise. Easy yes.

Arei: Given that, other than Ace (and David) claiming to have seen her at 9:30, no one is admitting to have seen Arei since lunchtime, Arei did have a window of opportunity to take the fish. Obviously, why she would (inadvertently or not) help her killer to kill her is still a huge question mark, but we're talking possibility, so it's a yes.

Rose: Rose has no alibi ever because she's asleep. Yes.

Hu: Hu and Eden claim to have a continuous alibi together between 7 and 10 PM. Again, unless they're in on it together, tentative no.

Eden: Same as Hu. Tentative no.

Levi: Levi was "doing his laundry," which even he admits is shaky at best. He's a yes.

Arturo: J says that Arturo was by her side from the entire time between 7:30 and 10 PM. Third time's the charm-- unless Arturo and J were in on it together, Arturo is a tentative no.

Min: She was dead.

David: David entered the Kitchen for egg dinner at ~9:30, but we don't know where he was before that. Similarly, we don't know what happened at the end of Ace's story, which leaves David a window of opportunity to have taken the fish just before the Relaxation Room closed. Either way, definite yes.

Veronika: Veronika was with Teruko at the end of the night, but we don't know where she was before that. She had an opportunity; yes.

J: Arturo's alibi goes both ways. Tentative no.

Whit: Same as Charles. Tentative no.

Nico: Nico both had ample opportunity to have taken the fish before 9:30, and could have been lying about the timing of the fish despite that. Another easy yes.

So, what does that tell us? Well, it likely means that either the killer has to be Ace, Arei, Rose, Levi, David, Veronika, Nico, or someone who has one of those seven as an accomplice, or I/the students have something wrong about the timing. Venus' other point was that it's weird that that hasn't come up at this point in the Trial, so don't be surprised if we come back to it later. Or we're wrong.

And those were my notes on... the first two minutes of the Trial! That whole ramble that probably could have been a whole theory post by itself! God, I need to pick up the pace...

Dang, what a cool detail that literally none of us picked up on (as far as I remember). Seriously, how did nobody even throw that out as an off-the-wall possibility? Anyways, if the body was still swinging, that means the murder-- or at least the hanging-- was recent recent. Sadly, given that no detail is given as to who arrives in the Motive Screening Room when, I don't think we have any further evidence to pin down who this might have been at the moment. Keep it in mind, though.

Okay, so I believe that J is right about "answering her own question" here, but that does therefore lead us to the conclusion that the body probably was drenched in water at some point. I do not know why. It'd be interesting if it was to clean blood off of Arei's body, although Artruro-not-being-the-killer pending there weren't any cuts or scrapes on her body. It could have also been a mistake, it's just weirder to have a mistake that covers the entire body in water. Or, it could be a failure in Arturo's alibi, which is obviously a major point of the episode.

I literally said exactly this while Ace was talking. Thank you Charles <3

First point that I feel people have commented on already: we now know that the DRDT cast believes that they are about 18! This makes sense, given that they believed that they were about to enter their first year of college, which, in the United States, happens at about 18.

Secondly...

Arturo: I started studying medicine when I was twelve. Twelve! All that amounts to is six years of medical training!

Arturo: I was only able to get this far in such a short amount of time because I specialized in plastic surgery, and nothing else. I neglected everything that wasn't immediately relevant to my goals.

Felicity is 3-4 years younger than Arturo. Therefore, she was 8-9 when Arturo started studying medicine. I don't think we have enough info at the moment to speculate as to when Arturo might have left home to pursue being a doctor, other than that 14 is generally the minimum possible age of employment in the US, while the legal age to live alone is 18. I'd love to dive into this more, but I don't think we've been given enough to complete a full timeline. Still, important to keep in mind.

A certified W for verturo shippers. "Adorable" is such a word choice.

Oh, so that's where that came from. Convenient that it doesn't seem to be relevant to this murder, because I have no explanation for it. I wonder if it'll be relevant in the future, though, or if it was just a funny gag that DRDTdev wanted to include.

As much as I've tried to refute Whit mastermind theory in the past, I have to admit that this moment was pretty suspicious for Whit. "Because it was funny" could easily be a coverup for "that's an executable offense but I'm programmed to not want to kill my mastermind so I let it go." It's still not concrete proof by any means, but I can tell that I'll be seeing this screenshot more in the future if I try to argue against Whit being the mastermind again.

Mechanisms, you say? 👀

I have been thinking so much about what the fuck this line means ever since Whit said it. Did they actually spend the night together, and Whit is just framing it in a subversively funny way? Is he saying that he's so sure that Charles doesn't have any friends other than him that there's no possibility that Charles could have been with anyone else other than him? Is he secretly the mastermind, and knows that Charles was alone through watching a security camera? Was he just saying that to be random and banking on being correct? Sir, I do not understand you. You're the best <3

Are J, David, and Veronika Telling the Truth?

Given how popular of an option J being the killer is (and to a lesser extent, David as well), I'm sure there are plenty of people out there right now wondering if this alibi, which seemingly clears J, David, and Veronika of being the blackened, could possibly be untrue. That's what we're going to attempt to examine right now.

For starters, I'm going to eliminate the possibility that all three of them are co-conspirators in Arei's death. Like, yeah, it's possible-- I guess-- but I don't understand what any of their motivations would be, or even if they did all have corresponding motivations, why any of them would have shared them with each other prior to the Trial. It also seems like a mess narratively, with three largely unconnected characters coming together to pull off an unsupported major stunt. So, I don't think this was a planned lie to conceal their teamwork.

All of them do also have plausible enough reasons for being out early in the morning. J shared hers with the Class-- she was hoping to have an Arturo-free breakfast. David makes lots of sense, as he was probably looking around hoping that there would be a body so that the secrets wouldn't be revealed. Veronika might have been awake for the same reasons; looking around for a body in hopes of having another exciting Class Trial. Or, maybe she was just so excited about seeing all the motives that she couldn't sleep. Either way, it doesn't seem too unbelievable to think that any of them would be awake in the morning, so I'm not inclined to believe it's a lie.

The only way I think you could get out of this disqualifying these three is if you say that all three of them, but especially J, are exceptionally quick on their feet.

For this to work, J has to realize ahead of time that David was trying to draw votes to himself in order to purposefully fail the Trial, bank on the fact that this is true, and throw this fake alibi out to him, hoping that he'll accept. If J could win the Class Trial as a blackened, this would also end the killing game early, which is David's stated goal. Veronika is an easier get, given that she might agree to a chaotic lie if she found it interesting enough, but it's still a gamble.

However, this situation is incredibly niche, and still really only works if J specifically is the killer. I think we can pretty officially take David and Veronika out of the running with this. Personally, trying to see things from DRDTdev's point of view, I think he just wanted a clean sweep to remove David from killer contention, and added J and Veronika as collateral as two people who aren't the killer.

I would personally take this alibi as concrete proof that J isn't the killer, but I understand if anyone still thinks there are enough holes in its suddenness to keep J in contention. My deepest condolences to J!culprit truthers-- I'm sure that alibi must've stung. (/gen)

"Harm yourself for fun" secret go brrrrrrr.

I'm making this my new tumblr header.

Yeah, seems in accordance with his actions to me.

Oh my god another "good person" name drop AAAAAAAAAA--

Being good corresponding to sacrificing something is super interesting. Whether he's a culprit or an accomplice or what, I can't help but feel like this theme might apply to Levi in the near future.

But also, David is saying that the sacrifice is being seen as a good person, not that you have to sacrifice being seen as a good person to do good things. That part seems like it relates to David's career. He doesn't seem to like being around people very much, but he's seen as a paragon of motivational speaking because he thinks that those speeches, will, overall, do some good. David would rather be a nobody, but he'll sacrifice himself to do some good for others. Or, at least, that's the charitable reading.

And, the other "good person" jumpscare. This brings our "good people" counter up to 6, including Teruko, Eden, Arei, David, Levi, and Xander.

What the Fuck is David Talking About?

David: After all, it's still unbelievable to me... That I'm the only person here who remembered him. Even if you all lost a year of memories for this killing game, there's no reason you shouldn't have recognized who he was.

Alright. So! This was one of the biggest reveals of the episode. Probably unrelated to the Trial at hand, but very intriguing for the story overall.

I went back to rewatch some of the most prominent David/Xander scenes. From David's introduction, here's everything he says before Xander runs off to grab the pen and paper for the autograph. All of these are said directly to Xander.

David: Woah! (chime sound) Sir, is everything alright? You gave me quite the scare.

David: Yes, that's me, although I don't believe we've met before.

David: Ahaha, you flatter me. But yes, it is my goal to inspire others. I wish to make everyone realize that their aspirations are within grasp; all they have to do is find the motivation within their hearts to inspire them.

David: O-oh, wow. I'm incredibly honored, I suppose? Sorry, I don't really know how to respond.

Interestingly, there isn't actually anything to directly contradict the idea that David remembered Xander at this point, if you get a bit creative with it. Just because David "doesn't think they've met before" doesn't mean that he doesn't know who Xander is, and being "genuinely honored" could have been more genuine than most people interpreted.

There are only two points of contention, the first of which being that David calls Xander "sir." That does read more as David not knowing who he is-- he doesn't call Xander "Xander" even though Teruko already said Xander's name. However, depending on how highly David thought of Xander in the past-- because he certainly seems to think highly of Xander in the present-- David might have wanted to call him "sir" at first as a sign of formality and respect, before getting Xander's permission to be on a first name basis. Even if Xander still calls him Mr. David.

(Goddamn I typed Xander so many times in that paragraph)

The other weird point is when David says "anything for a fan" in response to Xander asking for an autograph, but that's far more excusable. Like, Xander is a massive fan of his, so calling Xander a fan is reasonable. David might have been happy that such a cool guy as Xander was a fan of his, and was stressing that fact out of delight. Or, this is after Teruko caught him slipping, so he could have also reverted into default customer service mode and said that in a more scripted mindset.

Meanwhile, in the scene where David approaches Teruko and Xander after Nico flees the lunch table...

... I CAN'T BELIEVE WE FUCKING MISSED THIS.

Do you see that? Do you see where David says "in person"? That strongly implies that David knew Xander not in person prior to the killing game. Good god, it's been there all along.

Other than that, the scene is full of David being embarrassed at Xander speaking highly of him, David speaking highly of Xander, and, of course, the mutual "you're my idol" moment. Dude, I thought that David was just gaslight gatekeep girlbossing here. You're telling me that everything he was saying about thinking that Xander was the coolest guy on earth was legit? Unreal.

Anyways, I don't have the time to rewatch, like, the entire first Trial to check up on every little comment David makes, but I find that comment about knowing Xander in person definite enough to conclude that David knew who Xander was since the very start of the killing game, not that he remembered something about Xander along the way.

How exactly David knew about Xander is still up in the air. I know that Microphony has a theory that David remembered Xander from their time together at Hope's Peak, and while it's a great theory and I don't doubt that the two did go to Hope's Peak together, I have a bit of a hard time believing that. My only holdup is that I feel like letting David remember Hope's Peak would be too powerful, and having him remember being with Xander at Hope's Peak while remembering nothing else about his time there is too... like, specific? Nit-picky? I don't have the word, but I hope you understand what I mean.

Instead, I think that David might remember what Xander did in response to the North C and Chariton incident that presumably earned him the title of Ultimate Rebel. That makes more sense to me as something that would make David idolize Xander in the same way that Xander idolized him-- if David just remembers their time at school, he would probably remember Xander on more friendly terms. It would also be super convenient to have David still be alive with memories of, say, Richard Spurling, to share with the class in future chapters, now that Xander is too dead to say anything more on the subject.

Sadly, I don't remember if there's any information in Literature Girl Insane to point theories in either direction. I'm gonna have to rewatch FF's video again sometime fr.

Is David Telling the Truth?

David: We're... in a television show, after all. That's... what MonoTV said, right? "Entertainment" is an ongoing show. If Min successfully got away with the very first murder and escaped while we all died, then isn't that way less interesting for a TV show? What's the point of roping 14 other people into one murder, only to kill them all off immediately? The killer is supposed to fail and be executed. We're all supposed to catch the killer, again and again, and participate in trial after trial. You're supposed to try to survive. All of you who are trying to survive these class trials to continue living on are playing straight into MonoTV's hands. As if I'll accept that. I don't care how low I'll sink, or how despicable I'll have to become. I'll do anything to carry on Xander's ideals by ending this killing game, even if it means that I have to dirty my hands.

Firstly, I'm so glad that we're returning to the fact that this is a televised killing game! It seems like it has to be really important to whatever the lore is, so I'm glad that the students haven't artificially forgotten that fact until Chapter 6.

Secondly, I phrased this part as "is David telling the truth" because, initially, I thought that David had a different reason for lying about killing Arei. My thought was that he thought that pathetically advocating for himself would only make himself look more guilty, so he switched up tactics by making it look like so easy of a victory that people like Teruko would wind up proving his innocence themselves. Because that seemed plausible, I wanted to examine if David could have come up with this explanation on the fly. He's known for lying and should be socially savvy, so it's possible that this argument was just a red herring to conceal his true intentions.

However, given the prior section in which I argued that it really does seem like David knew and admired Xander prior to the killing game, I'm more inclined to believe that this was the true reason. Furthermore, this was a really interesting scene, and it'd be a shame to introduce such a fascinating character idea to toss it away for an "actually, he was just trying to lie about this Chapter 2 Trial."

There's also the good ol' Literature Girl Insane, for real this time. This plan reminded me so much of the "tallying votes" scene that I had to check it out for myself.

[12] “Majority rule” is known to be the fairest method of making decisions for a group. That's why murderers never complained when we voted for them to die.

The voting results definitely sound like David's plan. If he successfully made himself the killer, everyone would be executed, and while he would have "victory" over the killing game, it would certainly be a hollow one.

The 16 vote tally is still a bit more confusing, but I think you could relate it to David's plan as well. If you assume that David is the one getting all of the votes, you could say that his plan to end the killing game no matter the cost (throwing away his career, being hated by everyone, possibly even killing someone himself) might make him guilty of a crime/worthy of being voted for, whether he literally kills someone or not. Therefore, if the majority hates him and he achieves the closest thing to "victory" that he can, there's no reason for him to complain if it means he has to die. It could be his justification for why he has to fill out his mission, even if, in his heart, he doesn't want to.

I don't know if that's the explanation of footnote 12 or just an explanation with the new scenes given, but I think it's a possibility. There's also certainly far more to dive into regarding both David's worldview and the motivations behind the killing game, but if I started looking into that now, I wouldn't publish this post until way later. I'll have to leave that analysis for another time and/or another person.

Love Hu for this. At least for someone like me, who finds David's mindset sort of relatable at times, it's important to have someone around to point out the flaws of compulsive martyrdom and give a reality check that doing something wrong in the pursuit of what you think is right is still (sometimes) an utterly fucked up thing to do. They're both such good characters, and they work off each other so well.

Furthering the above point, even if David is doing it for what he believes to be "good" reasons, he's still ultimately manipulating people! You know, like his secret said!!! You don't have to believe that everyone is stupid to believe that you're smarter than them and you know what's best. But there's also the delicious irony that, despite Hu being the one to say this to David, she's also the one talking over Nico.

I am so sorry to all the whitvid shippers in the crowd. Unless this is the dynamic you crave, idk.

I wish that this line was voice acted just so that I could hear Ace's "uhh umm" Nico impression.

Are Hu and Nico Lying?

We're back at it again.

Needless to say, this is way more suspicious than J, Veronika, and David's alibi. First of all, Hu and Nico are only two people, which makes it far more believable that they could conspire on the murder together. Second, unlike the former random group of characters, this latter pair are very intertwined. And third, this supposed breakfast occurred in a private location that only Hu and Nico could have possibly seen, as opposed to J, who said she was in a public location. If Ace or whoever had been in the public Dining Room at 7:30 AM, he could have called J out for lying, whereas no one can contradict the idea of Nico and Hu being in Nico's room.

However, for Hu to be lying and for Nico to not oppose her (despite pointing out the fact that they were interrupted) would strongly imply that they'd have to be in on the plan to murder Arei together. The easiest way to get there would be to assume that they were also in on the plan to murder Ace together. Understandable enough; I'm sure we're all aware at this point that Nico and what appears to be Hu's wire were both found at the scene of the Gym crime. They could've tried to murder Ace, got caught, and then switched targets to a different bully because Ace was too on guard? Nico would have been able to grab the fish, so there's no issue there.

I'm inclined to believe that Nico and Hu are telling the truth just because I personally don't believe either of them to be Arei's blackened, and I don't understand what either of their motivations to be an accomplice specifically would be in this situation. It would be pretty hypocritical of Hu to go off on David for trying to control whether everyone else lives or dies if she was currently the blackened trying to get everyone else to die so she could live. Or, even worse, if she was an accomplice trying to get everyone else to die so that Nico could live. That'd basically be what David was trying to do with a different coat of paint!

However, this could easily be a lie, especially given how suspiciously late it was compared to what J said. We had a whole David monologue in the middle. Those things last for ages.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Okay, so, obviously, I could try to go over the implications of this, but with the next episode only a week away (I cry tears of joy), I think it's in my best interest to leave whatever I'll have to say about what Levi is doing until we have more information about his mindset. What a cliffhanger, though. Levi accomplice nation, it's currently looking... iffy.

Anyways, that was a fantastic episode! I loved getting a chance to learn more about Arturo, David, Xander, and the rest of the gang, with promise of more interesting things to come in the near future. I can't believe that they still haven't talked about the actual murder method at all. And that there were literally no trial mechanics in this video. Who needs 'em?

I hope you enjoyed my perspective on the episode. If you have any additions or questions, feel free to send me a comment or an ask. There's also a chance that I'll add onto this myself after seeing other people's ideas to respond to them. But for that, I'll have to read other people's ideas. I'm off to see what my mutuals have to say >:D See ya!

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livsbrutalitys-blog · 10 months ago

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Unfinished business

pt. 1 | pt. 2| pt. 3 (i highly recommend reading the previous parts first <3)

pairing(s): Rhea x f!reader, wwe x f!reader, not really but aew x f!reader

tw: eventual smut, cussing, physical violence (y’all this is wrestling what’d you expect), idk if there’s more lmk if you see any

a/n: I didn't put it in but this takes place after backlash and Rhea has her title back :)

rm| @floweirala @wiccanpriestess if you wanna be added or unadded lmk

use of y/n

After your appearance at Wrestlemania you were the hottest news in the wrestling world. It felt almost as if everyone had their eyes on you and speculating your next move. It had been a few weeks since you made your debut and now it was time to go to your first TV for Monday Night Raw. To say you were nervous would be an understatement, this was a totally different game than AEW. You had already won the fan base over, mostly anyways, now it was time for the hardest part and that was keeping them on your side.

Luckily your first night wasn't a match. You were going to cut a promo with Liv and you two would be calling Rhea out. Then you would go out for the first time by yourself and basically to put bluntly, fucking with her. You loved it. Messing with her and seeing her get all frustrated did something unexplainable to you.

You made it to the arena and went into the locker room. You said hello to everyone and you spotted Liv in a corner lacing up her air morgans (iykyk). You decided that you would go and get ready with her so, you made your way over to her little corner. She noticed you coming and beamed a smile up at you.

"Hi gorgeous! I'm so happy your finally here, I can't wait for our promo tonight!" she said standing up with one boot laced up but wanting to give you a hug anyway. You leaned in to hug her "me too, I'm so excited for the promo and the thing with Rhea" you said giving her a mischievous look while saying the last part. "Oh right I almost forgot about that. Are you good to do that alone because if not I'm sure we can talk to Pierce and I could go out with you so that way you-" she was cut off "Livy I'm all good I think this'll be good for me to do but I know why you really wanted to go out there" you paused smirking at her "you just want a front seat to the drama huh?" you said laughing because honestly you can't blame her this whole thing is pretty interesting.

She bursted out into laughter after she got caught "Ah! No! What! I wanted to y'know make.. sure..you..were...ok, and also to see it unfold up close" she rambled the last part so quick you almost didn't catch it. "Liv I don't blame you I would too" you paused as an idea popped into your head and then you gasped "I have an idea" you said staring wide eyed at Liv "What? your kinda scaring me" she said seeming a bit concerned. "Ok hear me out, What if- and I'll pitch this to Pierce- You take my place-y'know- You come out and interrupt so you'll have your moment, then, I'll be on commentary for her match" you said "Wait so you want me to take your spot and you be on commentary while I do and then- wait, what if when I come out I'll do my thing for a minute or so and then I come down and get her attention then you sneak attack her from behind" she said as her own ideas start popping up.

"LIV! you are a genius and that is why I love you!" you said excitedly almost jumping up and down. "Thank you, thank you and I love you too but you seriously need to change cause we have got to go rehearse and pitch this to Pierce." she said trying to get you to hurry up. "Ok, Ok, wait - are you coming to pitch this with me?" you said pausing what you were doing to turn around and look at her. "Yeah I mean we are a package deal and I'm not letting you do this alone, OK? Now lets go-get dressed-step on it ma'am" she said walking towards you swinging her arm to get you to speed walk to the changing area. "OK, OK, Thank you!" you said speed walking to get away from her before she hits you and she will.

Once you were changed and ready to get out of the stuffy dressing room you both headed to makeup and hair. You were sitting across from Liv, she was getting her makeup done and you were getting your hair done when all of a sudden you felt a presence behind you and then you heard a whisper in your ear. "We needa talk. Now." the accent told you immediately who it was and you turned your head to validate you suspicions. You made eye contact with her and made a confused face at her. "Uh why?" you said plainly "y/n don't play dumb with me right now" she said becoming increasingly annoyed. "Uh, ok, how about" you paused and pretended to think "No" you said smiling at her and then flipping her off. "Fine but I'm warning you y/n. You mess with anymore of my matches I'll destroy you" you looked up at her and squinted your eyes at her and sucked your teeth before speaking again. "Have fun cause I'm sure that you can't find anywhere else to have fun since nobody fucking likes you" you said laughing with Liv. Rhea was fuming if this was a cartoon she would have smoke shooting out of her ears right now.

She marched away still pissed off because Rhea wasn't used to getting this kind of push back since she had always had a charming effect on people but not you and she didn't understand but you knew why, it was because you knew her darkest secrets. Who she really was, she had completely opened up to you one night. That night is one you'll never forget. You guys had just finished training and she was giving you ride back home. Before taking you home you two decided to grab dinner since it was late and after you two ate you were sitting in her car talking about everything and nothing all at once, sharing embarrassing stories, telling each other secrets nobody knows and everything in between. When you arrived at your house she had stopped you from getting out just yet. She had grabbed your thigh and pulled back into your seat, you look at her in confusion, she looked at you with such love and admiration, she flicked her eyes down to your lips and then back up to your eyes slightly biting her bottom lip and smirking before planting a deep kiss onto your lips.

Her lips were so soft and tasted like cherries from her chapstick. You didn't want it to end so when she pulled away you opened your eyes quick to make eye contact with her and then pulling her back closer to you planting a kiss of your own. She deepened the kiss by grabbing the back of your head and pushing you into her. You melted into her like butter on a hot pan. After a few moments you both pulled away to get some much needed air but something clicked in your head, this moment changed everything. You stared into her bright blue eyes that are dulled by the dim car light. You were thinking about how you felt as you admired her beauty when you heard your thought turn into spoken words. "I love you" you heard in a deep accent, you were taken aback not because you didn't feel the same but because you were shocked she felt the same way.

"Oh no, don't worry I know that was weird- I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that out loud-" she was cut off by you placing your hand over her mouth. "Shhh...." you whispered scooting closer to her now you were almost nose to nose with her. "I love you too" you said smirking at her and you feel the breath of relief that left her body. You slowly pulled your hand away and she let out a cute little giggle "really" she said quietly, you nodded your head and planted a quick peck on her lips before quickly hopping out of her car. You shut the door and waved at her and blew her a quick kiss "wait baby come here" she said with a raised voice so you could clearly hear her or more specifically the nickname she just called you. You blushed as you turned around and walked back and then leaned down sticking your head through the open passenger side window. She unbuckled so she could reach you and when she finally could she grabbed your jaw "just one more" she whispered as her breath hit your lips. She kissed you with more passion and when she pulled away you were left wanting more.

You were now going over your promo with Liv. You were thinking about your encounter with Rhea earlier and felt kind of bad about how you talked to her. But you didn't understand why, she hurt you badly and she was nasty to everyone. But there was feeling in your heart you couldn't shake. You managed to ignore it for the time being and get back to your rehearsal.

"Hey did you wanna go talk to Pierce now?" you said trying to check boxes off on your mental to-do list. "Yeah are you good with the promo? Is there anything you wanna change?" she said making sure the promo was good to go before doing anything else. "Yeah it's all good, we should head to his office the show starts soon" you stated before grabbing your belongings off the table and heading out of the small room you had been in for a while. Liv followed beside you as you marched to the GM's office.

You finally made it and Liv knocked on the door. Pierce answered rather quickly. "Well this is a nice surprise I guess, what can I do for 'ya" he said clearly frustrated by all the other people that have come by to complain and by people I mean other wrestler and by other wrestlers I mostly mean Chelsea. After you reassured him that this wasn't bad and that it was actually making his job a little easier he let you in and you guys talked for about 45 minutes. When you left his office both of you were so happy that your idea's were accepted.

"I'm so happy he liked out pitch, maybe we should come up with some more ideas- oh shit the shows starting we are on in 15" she said as she checked her phone for the first time in what seemed like hours. "Oh shit ok, let's go to the monitor" you said and Liv started speed walking beside you. You were patting yourself down looking for your phone and you couldn't find it then you realized you left it in your bag back in the locker room. "Damn it I left my phone in the locker room, I'll be right back" you said as you started running down the halls so you wouldn't miss your segment. You busted through the door and it seemed empty so you quickly made your way over to your bag and shuffled through it until you finally found it.

"Can't wait to see what your gonna say tonight" you heard behind you. You weren't thinking clear so you didn't process who it was in time so instinctively you turned towards the voice still looking down at your phone replying to messages from a few hours ago and replied "oh thank y-" you stopped talking as soon as you made eye contact with her. She chuckled at your reaction, you huffed and dropped your head down so now you were looking at the ground. You two were all alone staring at each other. This time you got to really get a good look at her and how different she was not only in her appearance but also her energy changed something felt off but you couldn't really tell what besides the obvious.

"So can we talk now?" she said seeming sincere and genuine, you sighed and as you were about to speak you were interrupted. "Hey there you are come on we have to go" Liv said as she bursted into the room. When she was done rambling she let out a huff and then turned to look at Rhea "oh hello" she said as she grabbed your arm "and goodbye" she said as she dragged you behind her. You looked back at Rhea who seemed annoyed at the constant dismissal she was receiving.

"Ok what the hell was that y/n?" Liv said as you made it back to gorilla and about to go on. "I don't know, I didn't know she was in there she just appeared out of nowhere" you stammered. You were in a slight state of panic from what had just occurred, you think to yourself about how ridiculous this must seem but to you it was like a freight train hitting you at lightning speed all because you haven't been so close to her in so long. But now you have to remind yourself of who you are and what she did to and just like that the anger you felt for her returned. With the change of attitude you heard your music hit. You walk out and wave to the crowd and do your entrance in the ring before stepping out and making your way over to the commentary table.

"Here she is the lovely miss y/r/n" Kevin said and you smiled at him as you put the headset on. "Oh let's not forget about the wonderful Kevin Patrick" you said playfully motioning towards him. "Hey hey where's my praise" Corey said sounding a bit offended at the lack of compliments. You and KP laughed with Corey as Rhea's music hit you all stopped and looked at the ramp anticipating her entrance.

"So I hear you two have a bit of history, is that right y/r/n?" Corey asked as you glanced towards him. "Uh yeah I guess you could say that" you said not wanting to spread all your business to the whole world. You look back towards Rhea who is now on the apron with Dom standing in front of her. You watched on as her muscular arm wrapped around the upper part of Dominik's body, slowly growing more envious of his position. Wait what are you thinking right now. She destroyed you and now you have to destroy her. Once those emotions are pushed way way way down you glared at her from the table and she makes eye contact with you as she turns to walk into her corner. She smirks at you and does her little wave, you sit up straight in you seat and move forward a little bit. She looks you up and down before turning to face the entrance ramp.

"Did anyone else see the way Rhea was eyeing y/r/n here on commentary?" KP said into the headset and Corey turned to face KP. "What are you trying to say KP? That mami's intimidated? No way!" Corey said totally flabbergasted at Kevin's insinuations. "Let's be real Corey I am the only one who can take that title of her. I've beaten her plenty of times and I don't have a problem doing in again" you said oozing confidence as you spoke to Corey. KP laughed at your quick retort "Whatever helps you sleep at night y/r/n" Corey said sounding kind of defeated.

The match was nearing the end and you and Rhea had shared some moments during the match. Her eyes lingering on you for a second too long. The way you glared at her from your seat while making various comments about the match and dropping hints about things to happen in the future then her just smirking at you.

"1,2,3, *ding ding ding* and here's your winner the womens world champion Rhea Ripley!" the match ending as it usually does with Rhea hitting a rip tide then folding the person into a suggestive position but she was facing you and staring at you the entire time. You didn't let it show but it gave you butterflies.

But her victory wasn't celebrated for long before Liv's music hit. The crowd erupted into a loud cheer as she came out, not even bothering to do her little pose at the top of the ramp. Liv was a woman on a mission. Liv had her own personal issues with Rhea and so did you do this was perfect. You smirked as you and Liv made eye contact and she smirked back at you as she climbed onto the apron of the ring.

"What'd you want?" Rhea shouted slowly walking to meet Liv. "I think you know what I want Rhea" Liv said as she held intense eye contact with the tall woman that's moving closer to her. "You want it, that one wants it-" Rhea turned to point at you but was surprised to see that you were directly behind her. You moved like a mouse careful to not make any noise or sudden movements.

You smirked as you came face to face with her once again, just like old times. "What? didn't see me comin'" you said as you chuckled. "Get out of my ring!" she yelled her accent thicker than ever, she was getting your face. You didn't move back you planted yourself like a tree not budging as she got closer. She was centimeters from your face, she was laughing at you. You had muted out everyone around you, only hearing her. You had enough, she was getting personal, almost telling thousands of people your deepest secrets. So you did the only thing you could think of while this feeling of being trapped and cornered, you decked you right in the nose. She looked at you, shocked, she didn't expect you to actually hit her. You looked just as baffled by your sudden hit. But just as soon as you were shocked you felt the fire inside reignite, the rage filled your body. You knew what you were now capable of and wanted to take full advantage. You pushed her to the ground and got on top of her and let loose. You weren't sure if anything was actually making contact but you didn't care you just needed to keep going.

Suddenly you felt your arms being pulled back so instinctively you jumped back ready to attack them. But when you saw that it was Liv your emotions came down and you huffed suddenly out of breath. You stared a Rhea who was laid out on the floor and you decided to walk towards but you were yanked back Liv muttering to you to let it go and to not push it. You didn't pay any mind to her pleas and gently pulled your arm back to your side she gave you a final pleading look but you turned back to look at Rhea. You stood over her your feet on either side of her body, you squatted down almost sitting on her. You looked down making eye contact once again. You chuckled lightly at the sight, "I hope you missed me, cause I'm not going anywhere." you shouted before leaning in closer just as close as she got before she ended up in this position. "Count your days mami, and get used to this cause i'm coming for you bitch" you loudly whispered in her face, you stood up staring down at her as you made your way out of the ring.

You swiftly made your way to the back leaving Liv to chase after you. "Y/n, Y/n-" she finally caught up to you and roughly grabbed your arm stopping you dead in your tracks. "What Liv" you said in an annoyed tone "what happened back there? what's going on with you? I've never seen you act like this" she said pleading for you to give her some kind of explanation. You sighed " Liv I don't wanna talk about it ok?" you said trying to dismiss the subject entirely. "Ok I get that but I'm just really confused and I need to know that your ok" she said and you understood where she was coming from and you wanted to tell her but you needed to clear your head first, "I know and I want to tell you just not right now, I need some space- I just need to be alone right now" you said begging her to understand even a little bit.

"Ok that's fine how about you take the rental and I'll get a ride back to the hotel, do what you gotta do just let me know if you need me" you sighed in relief tears almost falling. "Thank you for understanding, I'll see you later" you said going in for a hug. "Of course, I got you, your my girl" she said hugging you tightly. Liv made you feel sane, like you weren't crazy for being so hurt, she understood you in a way nobody has before she was like the sister you never had and no matter what you will always back her up and you know she would do the exact same thing.

You went back to the locker room and got changed. You grabbed all your things and the keys from Liv's bag making your way out of the arena you passed by medical. As you walked past you just glanced over and saw her getting bandaged up she saw you and gave you a look that cut right through you and you knew in that moment you fucked up big time. You drove around for a bit, taking the long way back to the hotel. Needless to say you felt a lot better when you got there, You gathered your things once again and headed into the building and up to your room. When you got there Liv was in the shower so you had sometime to relax before you had to face your best friend again so you decided to lay on the bed and stare at the ceiling. You began to go over the events that happened tonight in your head over and over again.

You heard the bathroom door open and her voice was soft when she saw you laying on the bed, in complete silence.

"Hey are you ok?" she asked as she sat beside you on the bed, softly grabbing your arm to give you a reassuring squeeze. You felt so many emotions and just broke down. You sat up so you could talk to her but the words wouldn't come out, she seemed to understand and just wrapped her arms around you as you sobbed. She brushed your hair out of your face so she could see you. "Hey it's gonna be ok y/n" she said just above a whisper you looked at her and nodded your head as your mind started to clear.

"I don't know why- why she has this effect on me" you said through broken cries. "It's just being so close to her- I just felt all the pain she caused me- y'know" you said looking up at her while you were still hugging her. "Yeah I get it y/n, everythings gonna be ok I promise she's never gonna do what she did to you again" she said promising you that she'd never let that happen again. "I love you Liv, thank you for putting up with all this" you said sitting up and finally collecting yourself. "I love you too y/n, and I'm not 'putting up with this'" she said with air quotes around the last part. "You are my best friend in this entire world, I don't think I could've done this return without you." she said making you feel so grateful for her, you didn't deserve her but she was your best friend and nothing is going to come between you two.

#angst #rhea ripley x reader #wwe raw #wwe smackdown #wwe x reader #wwe x y/n #fanfic #liv morgan x reader #writers on tumblr #writing

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starlyx0 · 5 months ago

Text

so I have noticed some people think Ben is boring (trust me I’ve seen it)

so I am here to talk about everything ben and try to explain his character!

This won’t be the best character analysis

as English is not my first language and I'm trying to bring more attention to stuff that's not talked about often.

So I'm going to split this into 6 categories to try to make writing this easier for me so bare with me.

Things I’ll go over!

personality

looks

hobbies

past & current

relationship with family

relationship with friends

This is going to have a bunch of stuff that are headcanons I'm only including them to show ppl if u can put some thought into it u can get some reasonable ones.

1 | personality

I see a lot of ppl reduce his character to only music and being mute? which really upsets me because he soo so much more,

but making his entire personality music makes me so mad

most headcanons I see are all the same PLEASE I AM TIRED of hearing what kind of songs he listens to that or all ship headcanons titled as Bens

he's a shy awkward guy we all know that cuz he really just stands in a corner awkwardly scratching his neck most times and he also doesn’t like horror or anything scary (eps 11)

hes a protective older brother not overly like Tyler where hes more protective of Tay from other people ben is more chill going and more afraid of what life throws at Lily, there’s not much here cuz more points I have fit in the other categories :)

2 | looks

he looks kinda of basic nobody can deny that so I won't, but because of his past I imagine he would have a bunch of scars ik he doesn’t and that’s a bummer cuz I really wish he had 🥲

After he lost his voice he became super facially expressive but also really good at hiding his emotions so it’s either really easy to read him or really hard no in between. also because of his past bullying, I assume it affected him and the way he presents himself that why he sticks to basic outfits and look,

overall trying not to bring attention to himself even after therapy he stuck to his habit but if someone gave him a little push and helped him he would drop it and start putting thought into his looks,

saw this somewhere I don’t remember where they said he would have curly hair as a kid but his mom didn’t know how to take care of it so they ended up shaving it and i think curly or wavy haired Ben would be so cute also he would look amazing with an eyebrow piercing %100 and uhh I genuinely don’t remember him smiling genuinely in canon so i imagine his with a downturned smile I may be wrong about that idk

3 | hobbies

did I make this a separate category just to talk about him being an artist? yes I absolutely did 🙂↕️

I fear most people forgot about it n honestly and that is criminal

there is not much said about it in canon but I’ll work with what I have,

he probably didn’t have much artistic skills when he was younger and only started doing it as a distraction and a way to calm down n he probably made himself draw

I feel like red projected onto him in that ifykyk😭

but from the picture Ben draws based on things that happen so he diff draws a bunch of random things he sees and thinks its cool, he would draw everything and everyone and I feel his art style would be more realistic tbh

but Ben also plays guitar, plays piano

, fight, used to sing, and the medic of the group like what else he do?? he is literally perfect what more can I say here but most of these are not really hobbies but skills he had to learn for the sake of his life

4 | Past & current

I’ll talk more here about how his past affects him currently,

I love to think he has a fear of fires because of the fire that burned down his house more of a headcanon tbh

see the pan he burned in that official art? it took him half an hour in his room to calm down his heartbeat and gathering around the campfire is the opposite of relaxing for him

probably hates turtlenecks with his being

and I want to talk about his voice as that affects him the most what really bothers me about the fandom is that a lot of people ignore the fact that he probably will never speak.

I see plenty of ppl benlor shippers say

“he would sing for —-🥺“ “he would whisper to comfort—🥺“ n it makes me wonder are we even talking about the same character???? which is absolute bullshit if he did that he is the one that’s gonna need comfort like please. he would probably never speak unless he sees someone's head gets ripped off there body.

It's said flat out in episode 27

That he has the option to speak but he doesn’t why? Because he hates his voice and if he hates his voice sm he chose to not speak for yearsss what makes u think he would speak for the sake of someone else's comfort when doing that only pains him? he is selectively mute for a reason I'm not saying he doesn’t have a voice but at least if u headcanon him to speak in the future at least let it be for his own sake instead of doing it for someone else or make it about ur ship.

5 | Relationship with family

Starting with his parents I don’t think they are bad parents at all they tried to help him as much as they could but they couldn’t so they opened up other options and let him move away and heal even if he’s not with them I think what the did is a good choice for their situation and their relationship would still be great tbh considering the distance

now onto Lily

I honestly can talk about them for days. I love them

Their relationship is so sweet the way Lily is stuck to him every chance she gets and ah also used to sing to her can you imagine how she felt seeing her brother coming home later and later covered in bruises not singing to her to sleep anymore watching him sneak out

she basically watched her brother spiral down and then leave she was probably too young to really understand what was going on fully so now she just wants to spend all the time she can with him and he tries to make up for lost time :(

now Aiden

most people probably forgot Aiden is the closest person to Ben and the same goes the other way around.

Aiden is a life long friend of Ben’s

he literally trusts him, follows him everywhere and lets him decide for him

they spent most of their time together since Ben moved in they live together there stuck together.

Aiden probably helped him a lot mentally helping him try new things and be more carefree

Ben also probably helped him mentally and physically patching him up and looking out for him overall,

I see some Aiden fics that are like “Oh no Ben’s gonna be so upset at me 😖” and they make him act like a nurse, not a friend and he just bandages him up then leaves as if nothing happened and someone else comes and in does all the comforting

like I can count all the fics where Ben acts like a decent person and I'd still have more fingers up than down,

it’s so upsetting how ignored their relationship is in this fandom they deserve so much more honestly.

6 | Relationship with friends

he is definitely the therapist friend

He is that kind of friend that you can tell everything to him going from weird food to the worst time of your life and won't even realize it

his friendship with Ash is very chill not the closest I'd say,

they're really just trying to keep their peace lmao

his friendship with Taylor

I imagine them as gossip girls tbh Ben being a quiet kid while Taylor is popular they definitely know some good gossip

his friendship with Tyler is something he used to find him irritating but then he realized they have a lot in common especially when Tyler was teaching him guitar which was precise since he was the one who offered

and his friendship with Logan

it's really sweet Logan would try to teach him gardening while they talk about their interests

and be absolute nerds together lmao

overall the friendship between all of them is really sweet ik I didn’t give it justice here but the found family trope and the way they find comfort in each other is just everything to me

And I'm done yappin hope u enjoyed that because that was over 1,5k words

if u have any questions feel free to ask 🫡

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lightlycareless · 8 months ago

Note

I keep thinking of naoya making a fool of himself around y/n and y/n just being confused (idk) like he tries to get her to like him but it doesn’t turn out well😭 , idk if that made sense sorry!!😔

Hello!!

Awww this was really sweet to think about, however I got confused in the end and made it somewhat of a happy ending lmao.

Well, I still hope you like it!! (If anyone wants angst tho, I do recommend reading my valentine's day special. But I too been wanting to write something heart clenching for a while, might get onto it....)

warnings: highschool au. naoya likes you but he doesn't know how to approach you. he is ridiculous.

Happy reading!!

A silly Naoya is more like an overconfident Naoya, the type of guy that will never stop bragging about ANYTHING just to make you look his way.

It's certainly worse when he's barely starting to acknowledge his feelings, getting to that point where he finally says "I think I like her."

To stand out and get your attention is something Naoya never thought he'd need to do, simply believing that his title as heir of the Zen'in and his outstanding achievements as sorcerer would've done the trick—but they didn't, and now, he had to put in the work.

Thus, the borderline ridiculous demonstrations of his persona, courtesy of Ranta's advice; though if it’s worth anything, this is not what he envisioned.

"Can you believe he didn't want to accept my assignment only because I didn't hand it over in a folder? That's so stupid, can't wait to get him fired as soon as I—"

"Wait, Naoya, Y/N's coming!"

"ANYWAYS I WENT TO THE MALL THE OTHER DAY TO THIS LUXURIOUS STORE AND BOUGHT JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING THERE AND STILL HAD MONEY TO SPARE, GEE WHY IS EVERYTHING SO CHEAP NOWADAYS??? AND PEOPLE STILL COMPLAIN ABOUT THE ECONOMY!! I JUST WISH I HAD SOMEONE TO SHARE ALL MY MONEY WITH—did she look??? Did she turn around to see me??"

Ranta sighs.

"No."

"Ughghhhhhhh what do I need to do to make her see me?!"

Though frustrated, he does not give up.

"—yeah, I think we're going to this super expensive resort for the weekend. I personally preferred to travel out of the country, but you know how my father is, lazy as always. If it were up to that old man we’d never leave the—and now??? Did that work?? Is she looking??"

But the results are the same.

Naoya would keep on trying, loudly proclaiming things that in his mind would eventually earn him your interest, or at least a simple glance….

Until he, eventually of course, tires himself out. Sorrowfully finding that his endeavors had been nothing but fruitless as you continue living your own life, without Naoya in your consideration.

You’re slowly becoming someone unreachable to his grasp, and while he doesn’t plan on giving up just yet, he does intend to take a break, maybe reconsider his possibilities… before coming to a conclusion where you might not be involved anymore.

And what better way to clear his mind than indulging in one of his favorite activities—secluding himself at the rooftop of the school building to read the newest release of his favorite manga.

Unaware that someone else might be there, coincidentally… the person he wished nothing more than to be with.

"What are you reading?" You'd ask upon noticing the intense stare of the young, somewhat handsome man, he’s giving his magazine.

"Do you mind? I'm bus—o-oh!" He freezes upon realizing it was the girl of his dreams talking to him, cheeks burning red as he closes the manga and looks away. “Don’t—Don't you know it's rude to sneak up on someone like that?!"

"Ah, sorry!" You chuckle, slightly embarrassed. "I didn't mean to startle you, it's just that you looked so concentrated, I couldn’t help but to be intrigued! Is your story really interesting?"

"...it is" Naoya murmurs, gaze returning to you—he almost glances away yet again at your closeness, but your beauty makes it almost impossible to do so. "It's the latest chapter, I waited a whole month to read it."

“A whole month…?” you repeat. “Wow.”

“Yeah, it was a long time—"

“Hmmm, not quite.” You teased. “I’ve waited years just to see the continuation of my favorite series! Talk about dedication.”

“Huh, well, I don’t think it’s the same—this felt worse because of how good it is.”

“Really? I don’t know, I can’t believe you—I have to see what you’re reading for that. You grin, he smirks.

“Is that so? Then don’t let me stop you from finding the truth.”

And Naoya happily obliges, both excited to share one of the things he enjoys the most with the person he adores most, as well as the fact that you’re finally setting your eyes on him! After all this time!

He considered it to be incredibly unexpected, and perhaps a bit silly how it came to be, unable to believe that it took so little to impress you.

But as soppy as it sounds, there is truth in admitting that there is no better way to get someone to like you, than by being yourself.

omg that was so fluffy agkjasjghasjkghjsa cheesy too ahahahahah damn I surprised myself for sure!!

Rest assured, you heard Naoya do all of those things and consistently thought "Is he ok? Why is he yelling?"

After the two begin to date you'll tell him how weird it was of him to do all that hahahah though... "You didn't have to do that, I already liked you." Naoya feels even sillier :^)

Anyways, I hope you liked it!! I'm sorry this didn't end up in a sad note, I read the request very quickly and ended up understanding you only wanted an interpretation of Naoya being silly—though I do want to write something sad between the two, him messing up and all that. Luckily, I have the perfect excuse for that through other asks hehehehehe

Thank you so much for sending in this ask and for your patience!! Take care, and hope to see you soon ❤️❤️❤️❤️

#ask #naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x you #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x you #prompt series: jujutsu kaisen

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cafeinthemoon · 5 months ago

Text

It's a Fire - Chapter IV

Chapter 4

Wordcount 4,3k

Title Difficult Task

Fandom Kimetsu no Yaiba / Demon Slayer

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3

Symbols ⭕ ➕ 🖤

Warnings: mentions of grief and loss; parent issues; feelings of abandonment and rejection; issues between employees and employer

Tagging @chiyokoemilia (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: This chapter took days to be finished, not only bc of its length, but mainly bc I was finding it a bit confusing. I wasn't sure of how I should portrait this "advance" in reader and Shinjuro's relationship, neither how much of reader and Senjuro's grief after the scene in the living room: sometimes I thought I just wrote enough, and other times I though it wasn't as emotional as it should be, so that what you're going to read is the best I could come up with.

Soon I'm going to return to work, so Idk how things will be, so I ask you a bit of patience and thank you in advance for supporting me :)

It wasn’t shame what you felt when you looked into your stepson’s eyes, neither it was fear or irritation for being caught in a place where you shouldn’t be: it was the concern that he might have observed your face for long enough to read your emotions with too precision for someone his age. And, in fact, you were tempted to show a passionate reaction, whether to confirm or to deny your feelings, just for the sake of getting that weight off your chest, but you tightened the reigns around your tongue and didn’t do any of this.

This is adults’ problem. He doesn’t need to share this load with us.

Senjuro looked around, as if waiting for someone to show up suddenly and, after making sure it wouldn’t happen, stepped into the room.

– So… you found out about the living room? – he questioned with the usual hesitation – It’s been a while since this place was visited. Except for the maid.

You still felt your eyes burning with the things you were seeing there, but you wouldn’t burst out in tears. You sighed and crossed your arms.

– Yes, I can see that – after an embarrassing silence, you forced a smile while observing the photographs – Now I understand why I had no permission to enter this room. I should’ve obeyed the rules.

– But you’d find out about this sooner or later, I guess – was the boy’s reply – And my father isn’t here, anyway. Not even he uses to come here anymore.

You swallowed.

– If that’s the case, we better leave before he returns to the house.

He agreed and you walked out at that moment, taking care not to mess up anything, thus creating proof of your passage there.

***

You were sitting on a wood bench somewhere in the garden, as you used to do during the breaks between one training session and another or when you decide to eat lunch there, which was that day’s case. It was a safe spot to relax, as well as to talk.

And you had too much to talk.

Still embarrassed, you took the responsibility of starting the conversation.

– I should never enter that room. No matter if I escaped without being caught, it was wrong. But it’s too late for regrets now, I guess.

You said those things with a calm that surprised even yourself. When you first spotted Senjuro in the doorway, you swore you wouldn’t be able to look at him again, and even worse it would be to face your husband once he got back, trying your best to hide what you did from him, but that wasn’t how you felt now. You were rather sad for what you discovered, and for the things such discovery implied.

Senjuro noticed this too, and he said that to you.

– You don’t seem so mad about the photographs, y/n. I thought you’d be offended that my father keeps them in an entire room instead of, like, a drawer.

You gave him a sad smile.

– Why would I be mad by this? I mean, I could imagine him keeping photographs and other memories in drawers like you say, and seeing the whole room full of them was… unexpected. Still, I’m no one to judge – you lowered your tone, as if the next thing you’d share with him was more of a delicate conclusion – Instead, seeing them got me thinking about your situation here.

The boy frowned.

– Situation? What do you mean?

You moved on your spot, as to shake off the discomfort of entering that strange territory.

– Well, I’ve been avoiding intrusions, but this time I can’t help it. Senjuro-san, your family... was beautiful with your mother and your elder brother there. I’ve felt that as soon as I’ve put my eyes on those photographs. Your father… – you felt your cheeks getting hot with what you were about to say, but you ignored the sensation – He’s a completely different person by their side, and yours. He looks really happy there. I could never imagine him like that, you know? I guess this is what surprised me most – you bit your lip – Because, when I found out I’d have to live with you, I had no idea of what I’d see here, and after the things I’ve experienced, seeing our life together as something positive was impossible. But, then, I’ve saw your family as it once was… And understood that the issue is deeper than it first looked. The loss you’ve both endured… that’s too much…

A leaf fell from the tree behind your bench. Senjuro held it on his right hand.

– I understand what you’re trying to say. I was too little when my mother passed away, so I barely remember her except through the photographs and the things my father and my brother told me. I only remember what happened to my father when he lost her. My brother would speak more about this if he was here because he felt that too, even more after he became a Hashira – the leaf twirled between his fingers while he spoke – Slowly, that enthusiastic, gentle man who raised us turned into a bitter stranger. He started to drink. He spent most of his time in his room, and when he left it, he barely looked at us. Everything he held dear lost its value to him. It was strange, like watching someone you love dying in front of you, while another person takes their place. It was like losing him soon after losing my mother…

Senjuro’s voice cracked a bit in those last words. When you raised your eyes to him, you noticed him sobbing. You didn’t think twice: approaching the boy, you just passed your arms around him, as to assure his right to cry. You looked around, at the weather, and realized the blur in your sight: you were crying yourself too.

You did your best to put yourself together, and waited until your stepson was able to do the same.

– When my mother died, my father changed too – you adjusted yourself in your spot – He never had a problem with drinking or anything like this, but he wasn’t the same man who raised me. He started to isolate himself and making senseless decisions concerning our house, our business and everything else. Half of our staff left us, and even the people of our village noticed we were having problems. Our situation became worse when the stories about Oni started spreading among the common folk, and my father, not knowing how to deal with the financial problems and too proud to seek for help, was about to go insane – you swallowed – I’ve tried to help him, I’ve tried to reason with him, but he wouldn’t let me. He thought it was easier to send me away and stay there, rotting inside that house while demons devastated our lands at night – you felt your lower lip starting to tremble and continued to speak, to avoid a stronger reaction – He abandoned himself, abandoned our people…

At that point you gave up and fell silent, but Senjuro finished the thought for you.

– ...And abandoned you – he glanced at you – No wonder you burned his letter without opening it.

Your heart ached with the memory, but it wasn’t remorse what you felt.

– This is something I don’t regret. As much as I don’t regret defending you from Rengoku-sama. I mean, now I can see that life showed no mercy on him, but treating you like that was terrible and unfair, and the same can be said about my father. Their suffering makes us comprehend them, but it doesn’t excuse their mistakes.

– And what do you think we must do, y/n?

You opened your mouth, but closed it again to think of a sensible response.

It’s strange to tell someone what to do. Is this what’s expected from parents? What a duty to fulfill...

– In your father’s case, I believe we can stay as we are – you spoke slowly – Since we know he’s been enduring so much, we won’t do anything to increase his load. At the same time, we can’t let him cross boundaries and treat us as he wants.

Senjuro seemed to approve the idea, but he still had concerns.

– It makes sense. I’ve been doing this since I can remember, but I still feel guilty. When I see my father in that state, I think I should be doing something for him – he sighed – Sometimes, I think this is what he expects from me, and that’s why he acts so harshly.

That was your time to be concerned. You’ve already noticed that, due to his easygoing nature, Senjuro had a tendency of taking heavy burdens to himself, but you wouldn’t sit and watch him giving in to this inclination and becoming an adult before his natural time just because the real adult was unable to act like one.

– But you already do what you can for him, Senjuro-san. You’re a good and respectful son. You keep your things organized and clean, and don’t mind doing hard work. It doesn’t matter if your father says that out loud or keeps it to himself, I’m sure he knows that.

– Do you think so? – his doubt was genuine; it was clear that he never tried to see things from such perspective.

– Yes – you replied with all the possible firmness – You can continue to act with kindness, but it’s not your duty to fix him. Honestly, even I don’t know if there’s something I can do for Rengoku-sama besides staying out of his way. Yet being too hard on ourselves because of this won’t help us at all.

Senjuro thought of that for a moment.

– It also means that you don’t know what you have to do to help your father?

You moved your head slowly in agreement.

– Yes. It does.

– But don’t you think you can find a way if you talk to him?

You looked away. You clearly weren’t expecting that. Still, you didn’t avoid the question.

– I don’t know. I really don’t know.

***

You could say you’ve worked hard to act according to your own words in the days that followed that conversation. You created a routine that included waking up early and taking time to organize your surroundings just like you used to do in your father’s house, then leaving to the kitchen to prepare breakfast (that was a task that Senjuro took to himself since the cook decided to quit, so having you there to take care of this spared him time and avoided more of his father’s scolding for minor mistakes and waste of ingredients); after that, you would leave with your stepson to your usual training session, and then you took separate ways in your daily activities: while he stood with tasks outside the house, you took the responsibility of cleaning and organizing the interior, thus giving the servants the chance of going back home while the sun was still high in the sky instead of being forced to spend the night there, away from their families; finally, while Senjuro returned to his room to study, you would go to your own to bathe and relax.

It was simple, and it worked for everyone… or so you told yourself every time you remembered that your husband wasn’t included in this perfect scheme. Thing was that, since the incident with the wood sword, he actively avoided you in the rooms and corridors, which didn’t make much to shake your moods – instead, you were relieved with this distance; however, after the day you found the photographs, you were the one mimicking such behavior, and your almost non existent relationship just turned into a sequence of unexpected, embarrassing encounters where opening your mouth to say “good morning” was harder than passing by each other and running away.

There was one day when, to answer the plead of a maid, you had to swallow this embarrassment and replace it with courage: while you were cleaning a room not so far from yours, she confided to you that her payment has been delayed, as well as the other servants’.

– I have some debts I need to pay, and I’ve been trying to gain some time with my creditors, but they’re getting impatient – she explained – In normal circumstances, I would’ve paid everything already, but now I’m really desperate, y/n-sama.

You frowned.

– I see. But how did everything turn out this way?

The girl approached you, as to reveal some shameful secret.

– I know it’s none of my concern, but I’ve seen things in this house, and the other servants, who have been here for longer than me, told me what they’ve saw – she whispered – Since the previous lady’s decease, problems concerning the house’s workers became common. The previous accountant left his position and no one was hired in his place, so the financial responsibility was on the young Senjuro. Of course, he’s an honest boy and did what he could to help, but he’s not a professional, and sometimes mistakes were made. The people who still work here haven’t left yet in consideration for him, and because they really need the jobs. It’s Takumi-san’s case. Last time he tried to reason with Rengoku-sama, he became furious and gave him two choices: to go back to work or to leave and never return – she shrugged – He decided to stay, but only if a solution appears. He’s one of our best workers. If he leaves, things will become even worse for us.

You had to stop for a moment to process the things you’ve just heard. You immediately remembered that young man who had a bottle of sake thrown at him in the corridor.

So, that was the cause of Shinjuro’s outburst. Unbelievable.

The situation at the Rengoku’s house was even worse than your father’s: the servants just gave up on their work and left, except for the few in desperate circumstances, and the whole responsibility over the finances has been tossed at a kid? That time, you couldn’t just ignore it.

– Listen, I… I’m really surprised with this situation, as much as I may seem – you told her, not hiding the shame even though it wasn’t your fault – Senjuro-san never told me anything about this, otherwise I would’ve already done something. I’m... really sorry for this. But now that I’m informed, what can I do to help you?

The maid hesitated. She knew the difficult of what she was going to ask.

– Please, y/n-sama, talk to Rengoku-sama in our name – she bowed her head – We know he has a… complex temper, but he seems to respect you. Maybe there’s a chance of him to listen to you.

Well, if the financial issues were surprising to you, the reasons behind the maid’s request were shocking. The servants thought Shinjuro respected you? That man who barely looked at your direction? What a situation you’ve gotten into… But you couldn’t make it even worse by bringing the maid’s – and the whole staff’s – expectations down by telling her that you were too insecure to speak to your husband about a domestic problem, so you did what in other circumstances you’d never consider possible.

– Don’t worry – you swallowed – I will speak to him as soon as possible.

After an effusive “Thank you”, she left to tell the others about your resolution.

The glow of relief and gratitude in the girl’s eyes soothed part of your anxiety, but solely because you knew you were doing the right thing – it had nothing to do with your task being easy. Truth was that you didn’t even know where you should start: should you look for Shinjuro in his room or to wait until you’d meet him in another part of the house? Was it better to bring the subject right in the beginning of the conversation, or should you warm up until the appropriate moment? And, of course, how was he going to react? That is, you saw what he did to the young man; there was nothing to assure you that he wouldn’t try anything like that toward you.

You finished your work and went out to deliberate. You walked around the house, in and out of the garden, trying to come up with a reasonable solution, but nothing occurred to you. That time you also weren’t going to talk to your stepson: Senjuro would be informed about the situation only after everything was solved, and the same would be in the case of the servants, to avoid a commotion.

I’m really alone in this.

As it used to happen when you were lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realize where your wanderings were taking you to until you stopped and looked around… and recognized the front of Shinjuro’s porch. You froze in your spot, less because of this than because you almost bumped into him on the way.

You startled and covered your mouth to avoid a scream. You stepped back and stood there, staring at the man, who was also surprised to meet you so suddenly in a part of the building you weren’t often seen. But, just like it happened to you now, he seemed to anxious to inquire you.

Somehow you were the first to speak.

– Rengoku-sama… I…

You moved your lips, but no words were found to continue the sentence. Your eyes lowered to his hands, and it was with a sort of relief that you noticed the absence of a bottle. Did the sake finish and he was going to get more, or did he see you approaching and got rid of it before you saw it? You couldn’t tell, but at that moment you recalled your previous encounters with him and realized that, since the conflict at the garden, in each of them, he wasn’t drinking, yet sake was still being bought judging by the bottles you always saw piling up in the kitchen.

Is he avoiding to drink in my presence?

– You wanted to speak to me, y/n? – his voice brought you back to reality; your relief grew when you noticed the composed tone in it.

– Yes. Yes, I… – you hid your hands behind your back – There’s an issue I need to discuss with you.

Shinjuro showed no signs of being bothered by the word issue, unlike you were expecting. Instead, he seemed intrigued: you’ve been doing your things all by yourself since you were brought to his house, and now you wanted to talk to him about something? That was new.

– And what is it?

You breathed deep.

The time is now. What do I have to do?

You glanced behind him and saw his room’s door was open. That gave you an idea.

– Would you mind talking somewhere else? – you shrugged – A private place, maybe?

He didn’t make objections to this, indicating his room and inviting you to follow him.

***

As he sat with his legs crossed, you knelt in front of him, having the door, left open, at your right. Your hands were over your lap, as you waited to see what he was going to do.

By all means, Shinjuro was a practical man, so that fortunately he didn’t let this waiting to extend.

– So, what is it that you need to discuss with me? – he inquired – I suppose it must be too important, for you to seek for me so suddenly.

– In fact – you confirmed; and, taking a deep breath, – But it’s nothing related to myself, actually. It’s about the people who work in here.

You noticed a slight twist on his lips when he heard that, but you gave no time for him to react.

– I was told that the servants are facing struggles with the decreasing in the personnel, and that my stepson was left to take care of the matters despite this – you moved on your spot; your feet, folded under your legs, started causing you discomfort, but you ignored it – I won’t discuss this arrangement, but there are problems that need attention right now and, because I am your wife, I was asked to seek for a solution alongside you.

Unlike you imagined, Shinjuro listened to all of this in silence, and after you finished he kept quiet. No physical or verbal outbursts followed, but if he was measuring what he just heard or trying to control his irritation, you couldn’t tell, and that was worse: with the usual anger and bad moods you could deal with, whether by running away or facing him, but with the absence of them you didn’t know what to expect. You clenched your hands against each other.

Come on, say something. Even if it’s just to call me an intruder. Just odn’t let me without a response.

And, then, Shinjuro gave you a response… and though you didn’t know what you were waiting for, it was different from anything you could’ve expected.

– The servants’ payments are delayed. I know that – he started; no impatience was sensed in his tone, just a sort of boredom – Our accountant left, and no one was able to properly replace him. Senjuro found out about this and asked to do something, and I had no choice. He’s better with paper and ink than with a sword. Besides, having responsibilities would be good for him to grow up.

You made an inhuman effort not to gasp at his justifications. Did he really think leaving that work for a kid was a good idea? But you reminded yourself that you weren’t there to argue, but to fix the problem, so you let him continue.

– Of course, I knew it wouldn’t work forever, and if you came to talk about this, it’s because it needs to change – he sighed – But let me tell you that the payments aren’t delayed for no reason. Things have been difficult for us, and hiring someone to manage finances won’t be cheap. It’s something we can’t deal with it right now. So, what do you suggest? Should I hire a new accountant anyway?

You opened your mouth, then closed it again. You understood that, if Shinjuro wasn’t even trying to hide those problems, they must have become really serious. You also knew that the services of accountants and administrators weren’t cheap, but that wasn’t a good reason to let everything to Senjuro.

I can’t believe I’m going to propose this…

Your husband asked a suggestion, and you ended up offering the only one you could think of.

– Let this task with me, Rengoku-sama – you bowed, leaning your hands on the floor but not touching it with your forehead – I used to do this sort of work while in my father’s house in the times we were on a budget and unable to hire someone for it. I didn’t continue to work on this when the crisis with the Oni started because I was sent here.

He thought of this for a moment… And the response he gave you brought out some unpleasantness, both in his words and the subject.

– Leaving the money in your hands to manage? Y/n, I do believe your father let you work on this, but I can’t help finding it strange that, exactly when your lands were facing the worst crisis in a long time, he decided to send you away instead of keeping you there to take care of everything.

Still with your head bowed, you bit your lip.

Are you calling me an incompetent or what?

Shinjuro was aware of the delicate state in which your relationship with father was, so bringing it to the table right now had no intention but to test you: would you have the necessary stability to take such responsibility? As if he had any right to speak of stability… Well, in spite of that, he was the head of that house, thus having the final word in this matter, so if he decided to decline your offer, he would do it without thinking twice, and then your attempt to help the workers – as well as their trust in you – would drift away.

Alright, start whining and all this conversation will end up useless. I’ll swallow my inflamed ego, then.

You raised your head, ignored the provocation and sent it back to your husband.

– I agree. It’s really strange when you put it that way, Rengoku-sama… – your hands relaxed on your lap – As much as it’s strange that, despite the similar issues in you house which you’ve just addressed, you accepted me as an extra mouth to feed under your roof.

Not so strange when we remember the existence of my dowry, I mean.

If Shinjuro guessed this very thought or if he was not in the mood to continue that discussion, you’d never know, but that was precisely what he did: gave up on arguing and just left it up to you.

He stood up and walked to the porch, indicating that the conversation was over.

– Do as you wish, then. The old accountant’s office is on the other side of the house. It’s easier to access it if you walk around the porch. Senjuro knows exactly where it is. Ask him for help if you need it.

You stared at him for a moment. So everything was solved so easily? Or was it just you who were exaggerating the difficult of your task? It was impossible to know, and you wouldn’t stay there to find out: you just accepted the results and stood up, heading to the exit.

You passed by your husband and bowed again.

– Thank you for accepting my proposal, Rengoku-sama. I’ll do my best.

The only response you had from him was a nod, and you left to find the said office thinking of how strange was that man you married, how tricky it has been for you to understand him and what sort of things were waiting for you in that corner of the house.

#kimetsu no yaiba fanfic #demon slayer fanfic #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba shinjuro #kny shinjuro #shinjuro rengoku #rengoku shinjuro x reader #shinjuro x reader

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thelunarfairy · 22 days ago

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TYSM FOR ANSWERING MY LAST QUESTION EEEEEEEE

Sorry to be back so soon- but I had another question I was curious about. Again, if this one happens to be stupid you don't have to answer it heh.

But anyways, my question revolves around Hanako's names and how he's referred to. Like, I guess it's hard to consolidate into one specific question, but I've always wondered why Hanako lets Tsukasa call him Amane, and why Tsukasa calls him that. Well, then again, Tsukasa does whatever the hell he wants, but Hanako doesnt correct him either.

Similarly, Tsuchigomori only calls him Number 7, despite knowing his real name. Doesn't even call him Hanako. And that struck me as odd because since he cares so much about him, why keep it so professional? Is he just trying to distance himself? Or did Hanako get angry in the past and pull rank or something, telling Tsuchigomori to refer to him that way?

Nene is a whole nother story. She knows Hanako's name is Amane. You'd think she'd bring it up or call him that, right? Even once? And on top of that, in the fictional world, Hanako used his real name. Like he KNEW Yashiro already knew it too. He had to have known, because otherwise I don't think he'd use his real name if Yashiro didn't know it. Especially since he doesn't want to share his past with her. And to avoid confusing her further in the pp world, bc he wanted her to know it was him- well, alive version of him. Since the whole point he stayed was to see what it was like to be alive with her.

I wonder, if anyone else tried to call him Amane, how would he react? (Outside the pp world of course) Would he get flustered if Nene did it? Would it piss him off or make him uncomfortable? And what would happen if Tsuchigomori referred to him as Yugi again? Ugh so many questions I don't have answers to.

I'm probably reading way too much into this. I know it's likely that Tsukasa refers to him as Hanako because he knew him as Amane, and Tsuchigomori refers to him as Number Seven to be respectful. And Nene calls him Hanako-kun still because, well, "Toilet Bound Hanako-kun". But idk, thought it could be interesting to think about!!

Thanks again for answering my other question btw!! I loved your take on it

hahahahaha yeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!! happy to see you happy!!!!! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

Don't worry, don't worry 😉

So, in JSHK we have a meaning for names, not just the literal meaning of the thing, but the sentimental meaning.

If you notice, Hanako is the only one who calls Nene "Yashiro", and she said so herself.

In addition to including the fact that she likes the way he calls her. There is a sentimental meaning here, only he calls her that.

In Hanako's case, Tsukasa never called him that way because Amane is his brother and he always calls him that, maybe because he doesn't see the point in calling him by any other name than his real one or because he doesn't agree with hiding the truth.

Tsukasa has always been very truthful about everything, including about their past. And Tsukasa was willing to tell Nene the whole truth about Amane, so it simply doesn't make sense for him to call his older brother Hanako.

Tsuchigomori apparently made a deal with Amane that he wouldn't talk about absolutely anything about his past to anyone, including his real name.

Tsuchi used to call him Yugi, as a sign of respect, he followed Hanako's wishes, not calling him by his false name, but by the title he now has, leader of the seven.

Hanako wasn't surprised to see that Nene knew his name because Tsukasa called Hanako "Amane" in front of her, so he probably deduced that Nene knew his name because Tsukasa mentioned it several times.

So, he did know that she knew his real name.

He wanted to show Nene his "true" side in the PP arc, even though Nene called him Amane-kun a few times, it's like she doesn't associate that name with the boy she knows.

She wants Hanako, that fun and "happy" Hanako that she lived with for so long, Amane is like a version of him that died, that refers to sadness, that refers to something that she doesn't recognize as the person she likes.

Nene associated the name with the past, she discovered his name when she saw that he was suffering in the past. She was the one who was curious about him, and the first thing she discovered was his name and the short story of how he gave up on his own life.

So, the name Amane has this weight for her.

No matter what reality she is in, or what version of Amane she meets, she will call him Hanako.

I still imagine that this will change at some point, her calling him Amane would be like a symbolic way of saying that she has accepted him completely, that Hanako is Amane, that they are the same person and that she has to understand that there is not only the "happy Hanako" but also the "sad and lonely Amane".

They are both the same person, but ever since she found out about Amane's existence she seems to want to run away from it, so I imagine that's why she always calls him Hanako.

About how he would react if someone else called him that, he would probably try to understand how they found out, but only if it was someone important. He doesn't seem to care much about that.

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡 Thank you!!!!! I'm glad you liked it!!!

#tbhk #jshk #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #amane yugi #hanako kun #aidairo #yugi twins #hanakokun #jshk spoilers #yashiro #yashiro nene #tbhk yashiro

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writing-hat · 11 days ago

Text

shattering

/!\ Spoilers for Dragons Rising S2P2!

(very original title) hiii i'm still not dead <3 sorry i'm not active but y'know. life.

here's a jay fic!! about him experiencing shatterspin for the very first time but this is actually more me trying to make the wolf masks kinda gory and made out of flesh it's. it's an experiment. as well as like. physical effects

i'm just having fun and trying out some things (ig it's not really a fic then but idk adfkjsegd)

/!\ TW : Blood, Gore, Wounds, Death (tell me if I forgot something)

Also not beta read and I don't read that well behind myself yaddi yadda y'know the drill (especially since this is more of a bunch of scraps assembled together and not a real fic akfjzsgv (I might cross post it on AO3 at some point we'll see))

This is around 6.8k words so it's half a short? anyway enjoy

Jay narrowed his eyes at the mask he held.

It seemed to be looking back at him. And to be frank, he wasn’t a fan of how it looked back.

A shiver crawled down his spine as he passed his fingers on the front. It was meant to be a mask, but the fact that there was hair there, even if short, was somewhat disturbing to realize. He didn’t know how to feel about the idea that these could be made of real fur. Or worse, that they were somewhat organic, and used to be alive.

He checked the eyes; they seemed colorless, and dull, when inactivated. Glassy.

Dead.

That last realization brought relief. Yeah, it was dead.

Whatever it was.

He knew he was supposed to put that shit on at some point, but… it didn’t seem like a great idea, in hindsight. At least that’s what his guts were telling him.

His mind was on a whole other setting. He trusted Ras, after all. Why shouldn’t he? He had saved him, from the insanity that the Administration had been.

Thank goodness this is over. He was grateful to the man, and had taken the time to hear his interests, and plans. Things Jay wasn’t bothered by, too big to be of a concern to him. But since they were important to his savior, well, who was he to refuse helping him?

He passed a hand on the fur again, before turning it around to see the inside. He winced.

It had been… somewhat ‘polished’, but one could not look away from the flesh that had probably been ripped apart from some unfortunate creature, the whole mask made of stitches between different kinds of skin. But he didn’t dare to touch it to confirm his fears. Had it been the same specie, every time? He did wonder if asking himself that wasn’t the most unimportant question of all.

Living beings had to die, for these masks to be made.

Jay hated how his brain was sure of it.

That, and there was some… sort of taint, at the bottom of it. Where the mouth was supposed to be.

It wasn’t on all the masks, but enough of them had it to pique Jay’s curiosity.

He hadn’t talked about it to Lord Ras yet, of course. He doubted others had noticed what these visages were made of. He wasn’t even sure how he had noticed the details in the first place.

Perhaps due to his weird anxious nature about everything that’s been happening since starting his life in the Administration. His only life, actually, since he couldn’t remember shit from before.

The medallion felt heavy in his pocket. Its sudden presence making itself known made him frown.

This piece of metal was all that was left to him. He wasn’t even sure how the ones that had found him in the Land of Madness hadn’t taken that away from him, just like all his previous belongings.

He placed the mask back in its place, giving it a final glare, before walking away.

He looked at himself, unsure of what to think of his clothes.

They were comfy, that was for sure. Much better then the suit he’d been forced to wear for years in this damned Administration. And looking much better. He did enjoy the patterns that had been added to go along his powers. Symbols of wolf could be seen as well, on his chest, making sure people would know which clan he belonged to- in case the mask wouldn’t be enough.

But the fur covering his neck, and the gloves… he didn’t like as much. They hid away scars, important parts of himself.

Then again, he still had the ones on his face, definitely due to his own powers when it came to the lightning paths, and probably from fights where there were cuts, and skin that had been torn.

He wasn’t a fan of keeping them away.

But, having his body completely protected when it was clear he was going to fight in the future wasn’t that bad of an idea. Are we going to fight now? Jay doubted it. A lot of the new recruits had probably no idea of what they were getting into. Had probably been enrolled with the idea that they were going to become better fighters, with something close to powers. Lots of people didn’t listen fully when about to drastically change their lives, he had seen it many times in the Administration.

With a heavy sigh, he passed a hand on his face. To be honest, Jay hadn’t thought that long about this idea of joining Lord Ras’s forces as well.

But I owe him. He was there when no one had tried to help. It was all that mattered.

Jay could hear people getting closer. He turned around, seeing Cinder and Ras coming towards him.

The latter still had the same expression as always, severe, and mildly pissed off at people for breathing in front of him. The master of smoke, on the other hand, often had a smug expression there, knowing he was above everyone else, and enjoying it way too much. Not too far from them, he could see Jordana, the sort of witch- he didn’t completely understand what her deal was- who looked away as soon as she saw Jay noticing her.

He didn’t get to focus on that, though, when Ras made sure to be the only thing in his vision.

“I take it you’re ready for today.”

No. Not at all. But this wasn’t what their Lord wanted to hear. “Yes.” He took a deep breath, doing his best to resist the need to fidget with the fur around his collar.

“A first test, to make sure everything will go smoothly for the first battle.” Cinder chuckled at Jay’s expression, before handing him the wolf mask. “You’re lucky to try it before the real deal, Jay.”

He glared at Cinder. “Yeah. I guess so.”

Though, with how the master of smoke was looking at him, mocking, he wouldn’t call any of this luck.

Inhaling sharply, he tried to not let himself show how nervous he felt. He hadn’t expected to wear it so soon. He grabbed the mask that was given to him, nauseous at how he was about to wear unknown skin on his own.

He tried to compare it to leather, but fuck that had nothing in common. He passed trembling fingers on the inside, wanting to confirm his fears.

…Yup. Organic tissues. It was repulsing.

Cinder quirked an eyebrow. “Are you hesitant now?”

There was a threatening growl coming from Ras that echoed with the other’s words. Jay closed his eyes, and shook his head. At least… there weren’t any smell to go with the thing. “No. Not at all.”

“Good.” Ras crossed his arms behind his back, walking towards the arena. “Then get ready. You will be tested along our new soldiers.”

Soldiers. Why did he hate that designation? Wasn’t he supposed to be more, with his elemental power?

He adverted his gaze, focusing it back on the inside of this mask. “Sure.”

It was the first time he entered the shadow dojo. The outside had been eerie, with nothing but the strange orange and red light on their paths, but the inside was a whole other deal.

It was… poorly lighted, somehow, despite the bright lights coming from outside, with candles offering a soft blue glow all around them. He wasn’t sure how the flames managed to stay in that hue, but couldn’t really focus on that when he was trying to avoid all the others that entered with him. Some were chatting, apparently already knowing each other.

Jay didn’t want to know anyone in here. He didn’t see the point.

There were runes everywhere as well. He had no idea of what they meant, but they were glistening too, in that same color as the candles. Plants had grown as well on the wall, somehow.

He sat on the ground, unbothered to stay up like the others. From here, he could see that the only one on the ground like him was someone with a large hat, covering most of his face. His eyes were revealed briefly when he raised his head to watch who had come here for the first trial, allowing Jay to recognize him.

He was the guy he had seen many times speak with Ras. Although speak was a light statement; more so yelling and arguing, with the latter always having the last word, letting the other clearly frustrated.

Nokt. That was his name. He remembered him due to the electrical device placed on the back of his head. Even if he wasn’t sure he had heard his name right earlier, since it seemed like he preferred to keep to himself, as proved when he lowered his hat down again, effectively shielding his expression away from everyone else.

But there was something Jay managed to see before he did.

A spark of amusement, of all things, akin to one about to watch some sort of entertainment unfold.

…Jay didn’t think he was going to like that guy.

His attention shifted back to their leader, when he hit the ground with his hammer. He gave a speech, one Jay half-listened to, about being ready to change their lives for this better form of power, and so on and so on. Monologues are always so tiring.

…Where had he heard boring monologues like these before?

A glimpse of- something, from before, barely there, that escaped him as soon as he tried to look for it, smothered away by another hit of Lord Ras’s hammer against the ground, and someone getting on their feet and walking to the center of the room. Jay thanked his luck helping out for once, since he definitely wouldn’t have heard his name if he had been first.

Watching the guy, he gave way to his urge, and started to play with the fur around his neck to keep himself calm. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt like his anxiety was eating him alive, starting with his insides, and pulling on his guts and get him to run away from there as fast as he could.

He gnawed on his lip. He couldn’t make himself worry about nothing. This was just… apprehension, that came with every test he had to take.

Except if he failed this one, he might’ve to be forced back into the Administration. Damn it.

Deciding on ignoring the painful cramps his overreacting unconscious gave him, he focused back on the scene before him, observing the one that had been called.

The guy nodded his head to Lord Ras, and placed the mask on his face. Jay winced, clutching his other hand around the one he was holding; he really didn’t want to know how centuries old flesh would feel on his face. But he supposed he had no choice.

Holding his breath as Ras approached the gong, he tried to think of the power that wearing this mask would mean for him. He knew there was something about a forbidden technique of some sort, the Shatterspin, which he’d been taught the basics, but what about his powers? What would be the effects?

He’d seen Cinder. He’d seen how much quicker and agile he became whenever the mask would fuse with him, and gift him an armor instead of staying as a mask. The red eyes, he wasn’t that fan of, but if it meant finding who he was supposed to be, by feeling his powers better then ever before…

The scar under his left eye throbbed, forcing him to rub it. Not that he didn’t feel his power now, but he didn’t quite think he had a good grasp on it. He managed a few zaps here and there, and sparks to help him when it was completely dark, but other then that, not much else.

There is potential within you, Jay Walker. These had been Lord Ras’s words.

And he couldn’t wait to unleash that potential.

The gong was hit a first time.

Jay jumped out of his skin when the one put on trial shrieked in pain. Someone beside him gasped, letting him know that he definitely wasn’t the only one to be surprised.

He walked back, holding his face in pain and doubling over as the mask’s glowed that bright cyan. Not letting him the time to rest, or even wonder what was happening to him, the gong was hit a second time with a sound that echoed all around them. It was enough to make the room shake, and dust fall from the unexpectedly stable walls of this place. All the blue lights turned red.

The guy screamed again. Jay watched as he tried to remove the mask, pulling on his hair when trying to remove the strap that kept it in place. But it didn’t budge, despite his knuckles turning white from the force he was using for this one thing.

Jay felt sick, witnessing all this. Glancing around, he noticed how disappointed Lord Ras looked, and the way Cinder let his disgust appear.

…Shit.

His attention shifted back to the man in the center when he heard him puke. From here, he couldn’t really see what came out, and couldn’t help his flinch when the sound of retching reached his ears.

Chocking sounds could then be heard. It surely didn’t help when he threw his head back, gasping for air, too far gone to realize that he was making things worse.

Jay couldn’t look away from him. Doing so… doing so would mean he wasn’t cut for this role. It would mean showing weakness, and not being worthy of the chance offered to him.

Doing so would mean abandoning the man to his fate, a far side of his brain whispered. Jay took a deep breath, brushing that thought aside, just like he always had back in the Administration. Kindness and pity weren’t the way to go when one wanted to master Shatterspin, and the power of the Wolf Clan. He remembered Ras’s warnings too well.

Speaking of which, he couldn’t help but check a second time their leader, breath getting stuck in his throat when he did.

Lord Ras was watching them, not the poor guy struggling to survive against the surges of powers that went in his body forcefully. He was quick to understand; he wanted to see who was able to stomach it, and who would be useless in the future to him. And fuck, Jay didn’t think he could do that, but he didn’t have a choice. His body and mind didn’t have a choice.

The man screamed in pure pain and terror one last time, turning Jay’s insides. His hands grabbed at his skin, scratching with abnormal nails that had grown after the gong had been hit a third time. It made deep wounds, forcing crimson to pour out, but it seemed like the man couldn’t care less, just wanting to get rid of that cursed mask.

He heaved, then coughed, falling on his knees with a final yell, yielding to the pressure of energy that must’ve been coursing through his body. Unable to adapt.

And then…

He fell to the ground.

As soon as he did, the red lights came back to the blue hue they had first seen when entering the room.

When others gasped, and some cried, one, Jay heard a snicker. He looked around, trying to see who was sick enough to have that kind of reaction to someone dropping dead in front of them.

He frowned when he found out who.

Now he knew why Nokt had seemed amused at the beginning. He must’ve known this could happen. What a fucking psychopath. He looked away from him, and back at the center of the dojo.

Ras growled, stomping his boot on the ground at the result. He then turned towards Wolf Warriors, a finger pointed at the now dead man. “Get it out of here. We aren’t done yet.”

Shit. Shit. Jay swallowed hard, unable to look away from the blood, as well as the one the corpse left behind when pulled away in a messy trail.

Their leader hit the ground with his hammer, demanding attention from everyone in the room. “The reason he failed, was his resilience against our power. To become powerful, one must learn to bend to the rules that make it all. Only then, can you be one with the Wolf Clan’s powers.” He pointed his weapon towards the recruits, snarling when most of them took a step back in front of it. “Another one of his mistake was doubting me, and being a coward.”

His eyes scanned the room, glaring. “If any of you feel that way as well, you may as well leave. Now.”

That would be a mistake. Yet, some people immediately hurried out, not needing to be told twice. Not a lot- four of them, he counted. Jay closed his eyes, and tried to ignore how two Wolf Warriors followed after them, their claws ready.

What had he gotten himself into? What was going to happen to him?! How many others were going to die? Not that he questioned of the others’ loyalty, but there was no doubt that witnessing that guy’s death must’ve changed their will to join.

Now that Jay knew this was the consequence of failure… fuck. Fuck. His guts were twisting in there, hurting his stomach physically, at this point. His ears were ringing, clouding his mind from everything else. What if all that he had done, all this ‘surviving’ shit, had only lead to his demise?

Jay clenched his fists. He’d never allow that. Cinder had managed to do it, so why wouldn’t he?

This was an opportunity. To find purpose, and a place where he would belong. He couldn’t screw this up. He wasn’t a damn coward. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to fight back the power that was about to allow him a new beginning.

This was a cruel world after all. Hadn’t he learned that over and over again? And he couldn’t be at the bottom of it all just because others weren’t able to keep up.

He would not. He would survive through it all, no matter what it meant to wear that mask.

No matter the price.

Ras called his name. He was the second one to be tested.

Taking a deep breath, he raised his head, and faced the Lord’s eyes with a fierce glare.

Slowly, he got up, ignoring how his stomach still felt like a pit, and how his head was still hurting from the panic he had felt earlier when seeing that man die, his pulse somehow perceivable in his ears.

Still, he got to the center of the room. Only when he did, his eyes found themselves unable to detach from the splatters of blood everywhere. Some were older. Some were on the walls.

They had all witnessed that many times, hadn’t they? And they hadn’t told anyone.

It was… it was…

He took a deep breath. Now wasn’t the time to loose it.

A dark paw handed the mask to him. It allowed Jay to focus his eyes in front of him, and away from the red splatters. Something he regretted doing, when meeting Ras’s eyes.

They were harsh, and unforgiving.

Jay couldn’t mess up.

He was being given a chance. A chance, that could be taken back, and handed to any other elemental master. He wasn’t the only one gifted after all, Cinder was the proof of that. Ras didn’t need him for this grand plan; he had an army, and people ready to follow his every order.

On the other hand, Jay needed Ras. And he owed that new chance at freedom, to him.

Straightening up, he grabbed his mask, and tried to not think back on how it was made of skin. Instead, he tried to concentrate on how there was metal there as well. When tying the strap behind his head, he tried to not remember how the one before him hadn’t been able to remove it when wanting to escape.

No turning back.

Darkness cornered his vision, the latter becoming defined by the constricted sight given to him.

Once settled, he placed both his arms along his body, and nodded to Ras with a dry throat. The latter growled, rearranging his hold on the hammer.

The gong was hit a first time.

The wave of its sound exploded in the room, reaching Jay’s body. It froze him, both his physical shell, and thoughts. Everything had gone silent in his mind, and around him. And he wasn’t sure if this was due to the effect of its power.

Even breathing seemed impossible, in these short seconds. He was completely petrified, finding himself feeling as if he’d been stuck in something so dense and heavy, holding him back. No noise could make it out of his mouth, despite the pain that had started to build up in both his face and chest.

Something had cracked inside of him.

Just as he sensed it, the gong was hit a second time.

It felt like a blow to his chest, making him back away. His bones felt breaking as he did, making him wonder if they could’ve been weakened by the power he had been hoping to obtain.

His ears unblocked. It caused him to be suddenly dizzy, and made his head heavy with the lack of oxygen.

Then his breath hitched, as soon as he noticed the paralyzing effect was gone.

Like breaking out of shallow waters and reaching the surface, he gasped, greedily sucking air. His legs wobbled, making him feel like he was about to loose balance, as both his hands reached for his neck to protect the precious air he was barely able to keep in his trachea.

His skin was itchy everywhere. Something was going on inside of him, turning his veins icy cold.

Something was wrong, and hurting. Something was very wrong.

The rush of his blood too was fast, and strong, making him think that his blood vessels were doubling in size, and perhaps stretching his skin as it grew, leading to his articulations becoming harder to move. It left the impression that everything was about to blow inside of him.

For a second, he wondered if he had died, and if he was about to fall on the floor, just like the man before him had, but then realized that the sound of his heartbeat was still there, and as fucking loud as it was quick.

He was alive. He was-

The gong was hit for the third, and last time.

The final wave forced him to puke, which he went along with, trying his best to not suffocate with it like the first guy. A blink, and he noticed that it was blood, coming out from his mouth in worrying amounts.

His insides abruptly felt like shattering, and he yelled, as his whole body seemed burning up, a harsh and painful contrast compared to what he’d been feeling seconds ago.

Jay wasn’t able to keep a shriek from escaping him, when the power he’d felt in him for as long as he could remember reached for his limbs, and exploded. The scent of burning skin made it to his nostrils, and he held his middle, as if trying to stop his insides from escaping him like his powers had. Only when he did, he sensed his lightning breaking apart.

Millions of pieces, made of parts of his powers, going absolutely insane, and making his body spasm.

Getting electrocuted was a familiar feeling. One he despised, but was never able to escape for too long when it came to dealing with his own incompetence and ignorance. Or when he would redirect lighting on their ship, to protect the ones he cared about.

But just like his power, these thoughts were shattered, making him cry, as his head hurt too much for him to keep up with.

So he didn’t.

He let these words and images get torn into pieces, shards feeling like they came to his heart, pulling his whole torso in a constricting sensation that once again made him think like he was about to die, just like that. The boiling sensation kept on increasing, causing his whole body to feel like he was burning alive.

Something clicked, then, and his vision became too blurry to understand. The red lights made it so he didn’t know where he was anymore, the distant image of people he used to know breaking apart again and again, causing his mind to shatter as well.

And once it was all gone, he vomited again, hugging himself tightly as if trying to at least keep his body in one piece. His shoulders slowly felt heavier, and the fur that had been around his sensitive skin suddenly ceased to be.

Though this was the last thing Jay cared about, as he fell to his knees, the collide with the ground making his bones almost rattle. The way his fingers kept twitching made him wonder how they hadn’t broken yet.

His breathing was difficult, with a voice that had turned hoarse at yells and cries of pain he hadn’t even been aware to be letting out.

He was about to die. He didn’t know how the feeling was so familiar, perhaps due to the blood that accumulated in his breathing pipes, akin to water, filling his lungs until there could be no air passing through. His heartbeat was diminishing, yet it stayed as the only thing Jay could hear.

So he caught it. He caught his heart, for it was all that was left to him.

His will to stay alive. His will to have something of his own, that would make him whole.

And it was a heart burning with rage.

This, was what pulled all the pieces back. What once had tried to escape him, was now caught back by the sheer amount of anger he felt at how fate and destiny had treated him.

What does it mean? The question went away as soon as it brushed his mind, the violent waves of power crushing anything that wasn’t meant to be like it away.

Thoughts. Feelings.

They no longer mattered.

All that mattered was power. Stitching back all that had been separated.

His lightning felt growing. Launching itself and balancing his body in positions and forms that meant both a cry for a help and the picture of a violent force forbidding anyone to get close.

Then came the fusion.

The skin that made the inside of the mask slithered in through his pores, pulling and tearing its way through to have full possession of him, and share its cursed strength to the one that had dared to agree with its ways. Jay wanted to wonder if this was what it meant to meddle with dark magic.

But he couldn’t even do that, screaming again with his broken voice at the violent intrusion he had allowed for someone else’s game.

Foolish. Foolish. He always was foolish.

The foreign matter didn’t bother to be careful, before settling in- although not without damaging the inside of his mouth some more. It forced out more blood out, kicking out whatever was left that wouldn’t be useful to this newfound power.

A final deep breath, and Jay felt…

Liberated.

Gone, was the weight that had been caused by his soul and mind shattering and leaving behind too many pieces to carry. His whole body now felt light, lungs freed enough to give him as much space as needed for the air he needed to live.

The power felt lurking in his systems, flowing and giving him feelings he’d never felt before.

It was pure bliss.

After a few minutes, Jay blinked, his vision coming back, although with nothing to muffle it this time. The euphoric sensation slowly escaped him, letting reality settle back in his mind. Feelings of what was around and on him came back, making him tighten his fists.

He felt as though his sweat had drenched all of his clothes, along the blood. His chest kept expanding in grand moves, each breath making his body quiver, as he tried to catch his breath properly, and return oxygen to his brain.

When he did, his head returned to its previous heavy state, with each pulse increasing the pressure at an impossible rate. Yet, this stayed incredibly dull compared to what having worn the mask the first time had felt like.

He opened and closed his mouth, stretching his jaw to check if it hadn’t changed, or if the muscles there hadn’t torn apart. They had certainly felt so. He checked his limbs as well, particularly his hands, by opening and closing them multiple times.

Everything was good, it seemed.

Bringing his hands up, he checked his face, wanting to make sure everything was still there, and if he hadn’t just imagined the mask going inside of his skin.

But he hadn’t. The mask wasn’t here anymore.

He rubbed at his neck, but scratched himself, making him hiss. He looked at his hands.

Claws had grown, there. The gloves hadn’t even torn, having adapted to the new form they had gained. Closing his eyes, he then oversaw how his powers reacted to the newly added strength.

The response was immediate, surge of powers making his body twitch, and forcing him to gasp for air again. Opening back his eyes, he saw these bridges of electricity between his fingers, going all the way to the tip of his fingers, before disappearing, over and over again.

He chuckled, snapping his fingers. It created a small blow, enough to shake his curls. He then got back up, not bothered to look at the people around him, despite the loud whispers. Directing his gaze in front of him, he then aimed for a wall with his fingers, before sending his lightning there.

The stone that made the wall exploded, pieces of wood and rocks flying everywhere in the room, and allowing dust to float freely.

Jay snickered, feeling this happy buzzing inside of him, always here in the aftermath.

Fuck yeah.

He had missed this so much.

…I wonder who thisused to be.

Walking away from the gravestone, he added the wood to the fire he had prepared for the night.

A caravan was in that junkyard, but he didn’t feel like he was allowed to get inside, even if no one was there. No matter how cold it could get in the desert at night, this wasn’t his home, and he was simply there as a guest. He wasn’t even sure why he had traveled all the way here, but by the time he had realized where he had gone to, the sun had been long gone, leaving him with no choice but to set up camp here.

At least this spot was empty. It was a welcoming change compared to the crowded and suffocating places that had been the Administration or staying with the Wolf Clan. Although he had always been on his own in these previous positions, here the loneliness was one much better then what he’d dealt with in these last few years.

Jay hoped that there at least wouldn’t be any wild creatures to attack him. Fighting back without his powers had proven to be more difficult then he had expected. Thankfully, he had kept the gun from his time in the Administration; a great way to defend himself.

He sat on the ground, and looked at the fire crackling in front of his feet, relieving the itch on his face by scratching it as much as he could. No doubt his skin had not only turned red, but with marks left behind as well. Damn it.

…Being without that mask was going to be very hard. It had adapted to his skin- or maybe it had gifted him a second one. He wasn’t sure. He didn’t understand any of this.

All he knew, was that whenever he had been wearing it, even if for a short time, it had been granting him such an incredible thrill that he already knew just couldn’t be compared.

Oh, he had felt like he was on top of the world. As if nothing could’ve ever stopped his powers and him, from getting back at everything that had been unfair to him up to this point.

Now, all he had left were scars. From wearing this cursed mask, and bearing these powers that had never been truly his, but another’s hidden through his own element.

Jay had no idea if he missed the mask, its power, or if this was all caused by how much he missed his lightning.

His eye twitched; he should’ve listened to his urge, in that moment, and killed her. Destroyed her. And now that he hadn’t, the feeling of regret was unbearable.

He wanted to tear at his skin, but he didn’t even have the claws left for that. Only his poorly taken care of nails, dirty and gnawed by his need to relieve his anxiety and surges of powers every time he hadn’t been wearing the mask.

…Jay missed it all, as much as he cursed it all.

Had he not followed Ras, he would have never lost his powers. Had he stayed in the Administration, in this false life of his, he would have never been bothered by flashes and addictions he had never been prepared to face. He would’ve found his own way to his demise, sure, but at least through a path never led by others.

How had any of what I heard so farsounded right? How could I fall for their lies?

Jay frowned, thinking back on what he had listened to again. He didn’t believe them at all. Their fake stories…

Everyone lies. They’re all the same. Great warrior my ass. Jay now didn’t doubt that Ras could’ve lied to him, and it upset him greatly. What for?! To give him hope, and then crush it all in the next moment because of his so called failure? Gah!

He thought back on that woman he had fought. She too, had pretended to know him.

The sweet tone he could remember from her voice made him grit his teeth.

Even if she and her team had been right, why had they never come for him? It had been years. He had found himself all over again, since then.

“Let’s theorize that it was because they had no idea of where I was. Fine.” Jay clenched his fists. “Why didn’t they come get me when I was kicked out?”

His words were barely above a whisper, not even heavy enough to be carried around by the wind.

He stopped moving, forbid himself from flinching, focusing on the sounds of the burning fire so he could shift it as a background noise so his brain wouldn’t have to bother itself with. He then closed his eyes, and just… listened.

Strong wind, making the abandoned metal around him creak softly, and passing through small and tight openings, whistling all around him.

Deep down, he knew he waited for another noise. The snap of a branch, or the crunch of the sand under someone’s shoe that would make his hair bristle in apprehension. The sign that someone would come for him.

So he waited.

Until moments later, silence was still all that answered him.

He cursed, bringing his knees up to hug them, and huddle in a smaller position.

Jay didn’t know what else he had expected. Of course this wouldn’t happen.

He was alone. He’d always be, in the end. And it seemed like… he wasn’t enough. Not enough to make up for the help given to him, nor enough for people that were supposed to care about him to come back and find him. Loneliness was all that awaited him. He understood that.

… And despite feeling like this, he didn’t feel as he thought low he would’ve.

No. Quite the contrary.

Jay was… appeased. After all, that meant he could finally build a life. Even if it wouldn’t be much.

Throughout the years, he had learned that he had to move forward in order to survive. To do as told, and never question what he was ordered to do, or face consequences. Whether it had been the Administration, or Ras’s Wolf Clan.

So now, knowing for sure that no one and nothing was going to hold him back was freeing. Enough to get rid of these incessant thoughts bugging his mind, at least. Yet not quite enough to get rid of that pressure in his stomach.

Because all of this meant that he had nothing. He never had, and he never would. It left him… empty.

At the end of the day, it meant that he was nothing.

He watched the sparks escaping the fire. Like lightning’s, in a sense, but much less volatile, and not as comforting. He followed their trails, until his gaze ended up towards the stars. Had he known their names, a lifetime ago? The paths they traced, and how they never changed?

But it must’ve changed after the Merge. There was no doubt about that. Even something supposed to never be in motion except throughout centuries had completely shifted, no matter how infinite and big it must’ve always felt to him.

Everything had changed.

How was he supposed to find his past self if nothing was the same?

I don’t. That’s how. There was no need to waste time for something so meaningless. At least he hoped.

He sighed, glad to be protected from the chill of the night.

Warmth whenever it was cold was always a better thing. It was a comforting presence he had never admitted to enjoy in front of him. His… his heart kinda regretted that now.

Jay blinked at the dark sky.

…Who-

Something flashed before his eyes, too fast for him to identify what it was. It aimed for him, reaching its target in a millisecond.

Lightning had just struck him.

He shouted, feeling his powers immediately coming back to him, making him fall on his hands and knees.

Fuck. He hated that feeling. The one of his body getting electrocuted by his own life source, because he just couldn’t control it right.

Come on! He hit the ground with his fist, spitting on the grass as he grasped at the insanity of his power. He kept gritting his teeth, until finally, the lightning settled in, and buzzed happily to be back in its rightful place, with its rightful owner.

Jay took a deep breath. Yeah. Missed you too.

Since the start, his lightning had been the only thing there for him. To be reunited with it again brought tears to his eyes, both of joy, and anger.

At having lost them in the first place. At losing them to that damned water ninja.

I love you, Jay. I will always love you.

The memory of the woman’s desperate face flashed back when he shut his eyes to get rid of his tears.

An act. It wasn’t that difficult to pretend emotions after all, was it?

If he ever saw her again… he was pretty sure he wouldn’t hesitate to kill her.

She hadn’t hesitated to defeat him. Pretty fucked up for someone who was supposed to care, like she wanted him to believe.

Or maybe she’d been following orders, like I was.

Jay shook his head. Whatever the reason, it clearly wouldn’t justify anything. Nor would it tarnish the way his heart dripped hatred into his blood, making him even angrier then before.

The medallion felt heavy in his pocket.

Too heavy, this time.

He took it, and looked at the shape.

…It was a missing piece. He could see that now.

Jay didn’t want to be that. The missing piece of someone instead of being his own person. Of a puzzle he had nothing to do with.

What kind of life could he expect if all he was supposed to be was a pawn placed by others, and never able to have his own free will? The piece in a long chain of supposed important people. Full of important tasks, to serve the greater good of some kind of Great Administration, or a Great Cause of some Delusional Clan.

He’d be no one’s missing piece. No one’s lost part.

He was his own soul. No matter how shattered it felt, and how many little pieces of it were left.

Jay threw the heavy piece in the fire, the weight in his heart never tarnishing during the long time he watched it in the flames, as the moon advanced its course. He stayed that way, holding his limbs tightly against him, while taking deep yet suffocating breaths.

Until, it finally started to melt.

The slightest tint of gold, pearling down as it became a liquid again, and advanced on the darker metal it was attached to.

Never again.

#ninjago jay #hat's fics #hat's words #ninjago dr s2p2 #ninjago dragons rising s2p2 spoilers #< I haven't checked the leaks for s3 and i don't want to so idk what they got in store for Jay #but i decided to go with him going solo in this one #idk it's fun #also I kinda started the fic way before s2p2 sooo sorry if it's not lore accurate? oops?#tw gore #tw blood #tw wounds #tw death

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captn-trex · 3 days ago

Text

angel of small death

Howzer x F!Reader / Twi'lek!Reader

word count: 10k / 24k

part one | part two | part three

description: after the rise of the Empire, Howzer finds his position on Ryloth to be precarious at best, but his attention is drawn from his troubles when he finds himself captivated by a new politician’s arrival

warnings/tags: NSFW 18+ !!! strangers to lovers, mutual pining, a little bit of political stuff, fluff, smut, dirty talk, fingering, pinv sex, soft dom!howzer, praise kink, title kink? edging? oh my I'm so bad at tagging smut

a/n: for the full effect, listen to jeff buckley’s ‘everybody here wants you’ at the beginning. did I give reader lilac skin just because of this song? yes. yes I did. don't ask me what's goin on with the smut ok, idk either. wkfjh why am I scared to share this I just want to hide in a hole forever now. also sorry about the poem. (whole thing in one is on ao3)

masterlist | join my taglist | read on ao3

Ostentatious. That was the word Howzer would use to describe Senator Orn Free Taa's estate.

High ceilings, gaudy silver curtains and a vivid blue carpet that ran throughout the marble halls. It resembled the more imposing areas of the senate bureau, but devoid of any of the charm. Thankfully, the room that Howzer would have to be standing at attention in for the duration of the evening was slightly less over the top, though no less opulent with its golden chandeliers and dark wood floor.

The people, however, left much to be desired. Extravagantly dressed Senators and other people of political importance shared sparkling drinks in fancy glasses, talking, laughing and dancing with each other. Every smile he saw seemed false, an act that should be genuine reduced to a political play. He couldn't help but think that you didn't fit in here, but then again, you weren't here. Howzer hadn't seen you since yesterday, and with the celebration already in full swing, he didn't presume that he would.

The lavish party was supposed to be a celebration, an important day in Ryloth’s history, but with the way the people in front of him went on, and how the discussions of late had been, Howzer couldn't help but let indignance rise in his gut. Not a single one of these politicians cared about Ryloth. They didn't care about its past or its present, and they certainly didn't care about its future.

It was sickening. The wealth that surrounded him was unmistakable in a particularly vile way. It was all a distraction from what was really going on, the corruption that was embedded within the people who held the power.

Any negative thoughts spilled from Howzer's mind as soon as his eyes caught the figure standing at the top of the grand staircase. He was pretty sure that his heart actually stopped beating at the sight of you.

You had forgone you heavy robes in favour of a silky dress that hung from your figure and perfectly framed your body, a thin scarf that laid over your neck and draped down your back, and a headpiece adorned by pearly beads that dangled around your face and down your lekku. The thing that caught Howzer's attention the most, however, was the colour of your dress. It was teal, the exactly shade that decorated his armour. He couldn't help but think that you looked incredible in his colour, perfectly complimenting the hues of your skin.

He watched as you gracefully descended the stairs, one hand sliding along the rail, the other holding your dress so you wouldn't trip. You were a vision, like an angel descending from the sky, and suddenly Howzer didn't care at all about whether or not he was allowed to have you.

At the bottom of the stairs, you were greeted by a small crowd that had gathered during your entrance. Howzer had been too enraptured by you yourself to notice, his mouth still hung open a fraction as he watched you navigate through the people demanding your attention. He wasn't surprised in the least, you were the most gorgeous being here by far.

As you made your way across the room, seemingly zeroed in on something, or someone, Howzer saw that your dress was backless, plunging down to your lower back, the only thing covering your skin being the thin, almost non-existent scarf that hung from your neck. He had to bite into his lip to save from letting his jaw hit the floor.

You made your way over to a Pantoran woman dressed in maroon, whose eyes widened comically upon seeing you, throwing her arms around your neck and almost knocking you back. Your laughter carried across the room, entering through Howzer ears and bouncing around in his head, the most delightful thing he'd ever heard. The woman handed you a drink, clinking your glasses together as you beamed at each other.

Your back was to him as the two of you caught up, and he couldn't help but trail his eyes down your body. He wondered what it would be like to be able to touch you, how your skin would feel as he ran a hand down your spine. It felt like you were taunting him, begging him to lose his composure. Whether you meant to or not, it was working.

Howzer was so lost in admiring you that he missed the way your friend nodded to him, catching him in the act. You turned, your eyes searching for a moment before your gaze settled on him. It froze him in his place, his eyes locked with yours. You swirled your drink gently in your hand, offering a small smile to him before turning back to your conversation, but not before Howzer managed to catch the blush that tinted your cheeks.

You continued to talk with your Pantoran friend, until she got called away by someone else, leaving you by yourself for the time being. Howzer was itching to go over and talk with you, just be close with you in any way he could, despite his previous words about how forbidden it was. Before he could make up his mind, another man had slid up next to you, a wry smile on his lips and a playful glint in his eye that made Howzer's stomach turn. He watched on as the two of you settled into a conversation, mostly him doing the talking. You gave him the time of day all the same, much to Howzer's chagrin.

“What's your name trooper?”

Howzer couldn't help but jump slightly at the unexpected voice to his left, and he swivelled his head around to the source. The Pantoran woman that you had been chatting to before was stood next to him, a curious expression on her face.

“Howzer, ma'am” he replied firmly.

“Please, drop the formalities” she waved him off with a smile, and he was reminded of the first time that he talked to you, “I'm Riyo”

The woman stuck out her hand, and Howzer shook it firmly with a small smile of his own.

“Now,” she spoke, something mischievous sliding across her face, “are you going to go and talk to my friend, or are you just going to stare at her all night?”

Howzer’s eyebrows shot up, instantly feeling his face heat up under the scrutiny of the small woman.

“I— uh, Senator, I don't know what you— I wasn't— I wouldn't—” he stumbled through a number of phrases before Riyo cut him off.

“Howzer” she caught his attention, a small smirk on her lips as she noticed his cheeks darkening by the second, “you can drop the act with me. I saw the way you were looking at her, and I know she wants you to go over”

Howzer frowned, “she told you that?”

“No…” she admitted, “but I've also never seen anyone else make her blush”

Howzer felt his heart skip a beat. The idea of him being an exception in being able to break your composure made his blood run hot all of a sudden. He cast his eyes back over to you, locked in conversation with the same man and listening intently as he leant back on the wall, head tilted towards you. When he looked back to Riyo, she gave him a knowing look.

“Just don't wait forever” she instructed with a hand on his shoulder, and Howzer nodded to her before she turned away.

A determination set into him as his eyes found your form again. A somewhat dreamy sigh passed his lips, taking in the way you stood with your weight rested on one leg, your hip jutting out just a little as you brought your glass to your lips. Howzer adjusted his grip on his helmet, watching the way your throat bobbed as you took a sip.

Your eyes momentarily left the man in your company and slid over towards Howzer from behind the rim of the glass, and he had to suppress a smirk when you discreetly rolled your eyes, no doubt in mocking of the man who was still waffling on. It pleased him to know that he could hold your attention from across the room, when the same couldn't be said for someone stood right beside you.

After a few minutes of entertaining the man’s conversation, you interrupted him with a point of your finger, excusing yourself. Howzer’s breath stuttered at the prospect of you making your way over to him, but instead he watched as you walked towards the opposite side of the hall and slipped outside, cracking the door just open enough for your frame to fit through.

Howzer cast a glance around the room to see if anyone was looking his way, then surreptitiously followed in your footsteps around the edge of the large room. When he opened the door, he was greeted by the sight of you leaning your elbows against the stone railing at the edge of the deck, looking out over the expanse of the Senator's gardens. He had to admit that the view was stunning, but the sight of you leant forwards, your dress pooling at your sides and exposing more of your skin to the moonlight, was a far more alluring sight.

Your head turned to the side as you heard the door shut, your lips quirking into a half-smile.

“Captain” you nodded to him in acknowledgement.

“Ma'am” he replied, a small smirk winding its way onto his face.

A breathy laugh left your lips, you head shaking slightly, “I'm not— you shouldn't call me that”

Howzer shrugged, “you look the part”

You chuckled, your expression pleasant as you turned your body to face the other way, resting your back against the cool stone. The headpiece that you wore caught the light of the moon perfectly, contrasting with the warm glow from indoors, and once again Howzer couldn’t help but compare you to the beautiful paintings he had seen. His features were then weighed down by a seriousness, and he spoke more softly, more sincerely.

“You look beautiful”

Your lips lifted a little as an amused hum reverberated in your throat, and you looked to your feet when your cheeks flushed with colour, turning your face from his in an attempt to hide it.

“Thank you” you replied, “as do you”

Howzer's lips lifted into a genuine smile at the unexpected compliment, albeit somewhat of a deflection from his own.

“Are you enjoying the party?” he asked, moving on quickly.

Your eyes lifted back to his, and you paused for a moment, dropping your head to the side before answering, “not really”

“How come?”

You shrugged one shoulder, your smile rueful, “not my scene”

Howzer nodded, glancing inside at the outlandishly dressed party guests and the splendour that surrounded them, but when his gaze found you again, he could have melted. You positively shone in comparison to all of them, something so authentically positive and genuine surrounding you.

“I was thinking that I might leave, actually”

“Without a dance?” Howzer raised a slightly teasing eyebrow.

You laughed gratuitously at the idea, “I don't want to dance with any of these philistines”

Howzer chuckled, taking a moment to peer inside once more. No one was looking out, no one was paying attention to anyone but themselves, not concerned with things going on outside the walls of the ornate room.

“Would you dance with me?”

You cocked your head a little, a dubiousness written into your furrowed brow, “you know how to dance?”

“More or less” he shrugged, placing his helmet down on the railing, following up by taking off his gloves and tucking them into his belt. He held his hand out with an inviting smile, “can I have this dance, m’lady?”

You chuckled lightly and tentatively took his outstretched hand, letting him pull you towards him, “it's ‘could I have this dance’, for next time”

“Next time?” Howzer asked with a raised eyebrow, his other hand coming to rest at your hip.

You tried to suppress a smirk as the pair of you began dancing to the medium tempo, “in case you find yourself dancing with another member of the Senate, of course”

“Of course” Howzer grinned, “though I can't imagine I will”

He brought your hand up and gently spun you around in time with the music, pulling you back towards him so you were almost chest to chest. Your eyes bore into his as his hand slid to the small of your back, gently brushing your skin. As the dance went on, his hand pressed further against the warmth of your skin, bringing your body closer to his. He wished that he owned any other outfit but his armour, so that he could really feel what it was like to have you pressed up against him, but he'd settle for a gloveless hand against your back for now.

There was something in your gaze, something troubled despite your smile. Howzer didn't know if he was diagnosing the problem correctly, but he spoke up anyway.

“What you did yesterday was really admirable” he mumbled, earning a sigh from you that made your whole body slump towards him, resting your forehead against his chestplate.

“I'm afraid of what's happening to this planet, to the galaxy”

Howzer nodded, his hand sliding up to gently rub what he hoped were comforting circles between your shoulder blades. You continued to let him lead you through the dance, moving your feet in tandem with his despite your collapsed posture.

“I know” he spoke quietly, “but… you can't give up”

Your head lifted from his chest, your eyes slightly wide and startlingly close to his. He felt as if he could see his own soul reflected back at him in that moment, and it startled him a little, as much as it was intoxicating.

“I feel like giving up” you told him, but he just shook his head.

“You can't. You might be the best chance that Ryloth has under the Empire” he replied, his arm wrapping further around you as he slowly let the dance draw you both from the light spilling through the glass door.

“but I can't do anything, as long as the Senator is here” you said desperately, your brows pinched and mouth twisted in a frown.

It was strange to see you so defeated. Howzer had only known you to be quietly confident and seemingly hopeful in a particularly composed way, but now you had been beaten down by the truth of the matter, and for whatever reason you were looking to him for help.

He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment, “will he not go back to Coruscant eventually?”

Your eyes dropped for a moment, then found his again with slightly more conviction, “I suppose so, but—”

“No buts” Howzer interrupted with a growing smile, “just do what you can, right? isn't that what you told me?”

“Yeah” your lips curled up in an appreciative smile, “I can't believe you remember me saying that”

Howzer gave you a small frown, “why wouldn't I?”

“I don't know, I guess I'm used to people just ignoring what I say”

It was a disquieting thing to hear, and Howzer quickly realised it was probably one of the most vulnerable thing you had ever told him.

“Well they're fools” he said assuredly.

You huffed a small laugh as he spun you around once more, “If you say so”

“I mean it” he spoke seriously, pulling you back against him and holding you close by your waist, “I've never— no one ever gave me the time of day to… just talk, before you. No one saw fit to educate me about anything, or talk to me like a human being”

Your brow creased as he spoke, “I'm sorry”

Howzer laughed, a teasing grin plastered on his face, “That was supposed to be a compliment, not me looking for sympathy”

“Oh” you chuckled in a self-deprecating manner, the dance dying down to a light sway, “right, well… you're welcome I suppose. Though I hope you do know that what you just described is the bare minimum”

A scoff left his lips, “so that's the only reason you talk to me? Human decency?”

“Well, no. I—” you stuttered out, diverting your gaze, “like I said before, you're a good man”

Howzer just hummed in response, unable to help the way his smile almost split his face in half. Inside the walls of the mansion, the instrumentalists finished playing their song, a small round of applause following, and you stepped away with a particularly timid expression, as if the intimacy of the moment had finally caught up with you.

“Well, I think I'll be going now” you said softly as the band started up again.

Truthfully, Howzer didn’t want you to leave. Even if it wasn’t in such a troubling way as the previous times, he wasn’t going to watch you walk away from him again.

“Allow me escort you back to your quarters, ma’am” He suggested with a mock sincerity.

You gave him a hesitant and withering look, and his smile grew even more, “you should probably stay here, no?”

Howzer confidently shook his head, “I am tasked with protecting the people in this party. Should one wish to leave, it would only be proper to ensure they get home safely”

He watched the way your bottom lip caught between your teeth to bite back your smirk, your eyes narrowing a little as if to try and read his thoughts. It made his resolve crumble a little, your presence almost deriding him.

“I suppose that makes sense” you mumbled finally, and Howzer smiled in satisfaction.

“Lead the way ma'am” he gestured towards the set of steps that led back towards the front of the estate, and you rolled your eyes playfully as you started walking.

“I thought you agreed not to call me that” you muttered, false annoyance in your tone.

Howzer shrugged a little, “maybe I just want to”

He held out his hand to you once again at the top of the stairs, all four of them, and you scoffed while slipping your hand into his to let him assist in your descent. He knew he was pushing his luck, trying to be so affectionate with you after he had shunned you for doing the exact same thing only a few days prior, but he couldn't help himself.

“Thank you” you said quietly, taking back your hand to clasp both of them behind your back.

The pair of you made your way back up through the large courtyard of the Senator's mansion, stately trees lining your way and casting you into darkness. You settled into a comfortable silence, letting the sounds of the people inside the party dwindle into nothing as you made your way through the city.

The dark engulfed you both, the only light being that of the moon and the stars that were littered through the sky. A gentle breeze sent leaves scattering over the floor, tickling at Howzer’s skin and lightly ruffling his hair. He could smell your perfume as the breeze drifted it his way. It was sweet, understated and gentle but with a noticeable presence. It matched you perfectly in that way. He looked over from his place beside you, and couldn’t help but stare in awe.

In many ways, you were the antithesis to him, a reflection of everything he wished he could be. Much of it was given away in your footfalls; where his were the inelegant scuff of boots against the cold stone of the cobbled street, yours was the tapping of your delicate heels, sounding more akin to a steady drip of water into a lake. Where Howzer was all hard edges and military barbarism, at least in theory, you were made up of soft contours and political courtesy.

He was beneath, you were above. He was the soil, you were the sky. He was inferior, and you were fundamental. All that was true to the places you held in the galaxy, but when he stood next to you, he felt whole, as if your idiosyncrasies fit together to create a one picture, one he didn’t know he recognised until he had laid eyes on you for the first time. Although, as much as you were different, you held a similar space within your own lives, echoing each other’s values. You were both bound by duty, a duty which kept you both from seeking true happiness, and yet, watching you stroll through the moonlight felt like exactly that: happiness.

You halted outside the door to your dwelling, turning back towards him as you opened it up. You observed him for a moment, eyebrows twitching as if thinking something over.

“I'm going put the kettle on” you told him, leaving a lengthy gap to let the words hang in the air for a moment, “would you like to join me for some tea?”

Howzer was agreeing before you had barely got the words out, and you gestured for him to enter with a smirk that you failed to hide. The space was a lot more modest than he was expecting, but he realised then that he probably viewed you as being more important than those who organised your living arrangements. There was a kitchen to one side, a homey looking sofa on the opposite wall, a small dining area between them, and two doors off to the side which he could only presume were the bedroom and refresher. It was humble, especially as compared to the mansion you had just left.

Howzer watched as you pinched the fabric of your scarf between your fingers, pulling it off. The sheer fabric slid over your smooth skin like water over glass, and Howzer was positively mesmerised. It was such a simple action, but he was coming to understand that anything you did was a little more than appealing to him.

“Make yourself at home” you smiled at him as you glided over towards the kitchen to put the kettle on, leaning on the counter to take off your shoes.

For a moment he just watched you move around, almost desperate to reach out and feel your skin against his once more. He forced himself to look away, to try and do as you said and make himself comfortable in the space. He placed his helmet on the table, and noticed that the flimsibook he so often saw you with was open, your stylus laid in the centre of it.

He didn't mean to look, he knew that he shouldn't, that it was private, but when his eyes skimmed the page and he saw his own name, his heart stopped in his chest. He picked it up, unable to help himself, and ran his fingers across the page as he read from it. It was poetry. All this time, the writing that you had been so intently working on were poems, and it seemed that he was a recurring character.

Howzer was floored. He couldn't believe that such sweet words were written for him, someone made for such violence, and by someone like you no less. He turned page after page, and his name appeared a number of times, but upon reading further, even when he wasn't mentioned by name, it was obvious that it was him you were describing.

Instances from your time together, the day at the lake, descriptions of sitting opposite him under the whiptree, and as far as just passing by him. He noticed that they were dated, and as he flipped backwards through the pages, he found one dated under the day you arrived at the senate bureau.

eyes meet, a flicker of recognition,

birthed from nowhere, you’re unknown.

a quiet understanding, but no words,

a warmth that reaches to me.

It feels like a promise,

a vow to fulfil in time,

to make this notion true, not just a stolen glance from the nameless.

From the very beginning, you had felt exactly the same as him, recognising that pull that he had as soon as he laid his eyes on you. Howzer felt his breath go short, his heartbeat thundering in his ears as his blood ran hot through his veins. He looked over to you, leaned against the kitchen counter and tapping a rhythm against it as you waited for the kettle to boil. He called your name, and you looked over to him inquisitively, but your face instantly dropped as your eyes darted between the book and his face.

“I didn’t know you wrote poetry” he stated, the first think he could think to say.

“You weren’t supposed to” you said quickly, your embarrassment obvious as you strode over to him in a few steps and snatched the book from him, shoving it into a drawer when you made it back to your original position.

Howzer could see the deep blush that set in across your cheeks, and he gave you an apologetic look. He hadn’t meant to embarrass you, he only wanted to convey how much it meant to him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to look, just—” he found himself at a loss for words, “it’s beautiful”

“It’s…” you glanced over to him with hesitation, shame still colouring your cheeks, “it’s private”

For a moment neither one of you moved, watching each other carefully to see if the other would go on. You shortly began to look flustered, your fingers fiddling with the fabric of your dress and shifting on the spot.

Letting out a long breath, you hung your head, “I’m so sorry Captain”

Howzer’s eyebrows shot up, taking a step forward on instinct, “you’re sorry?”

“Maker, this is so mortifying” you covered your face with your hands, “I don’t even have the words to explain myself”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at that assertion, “I don’t know about that, seems like you might have quite a few”

You groaned in embarrassment as your body curled in on itself more, drawing another small laugh from Howzer as he made his way over to you.

He tentatively wrapped his hands around you wrists, pulling your hands away from your face. You looked up at him with a bashful expression, struggling to maintain eye contact as he slipped your hands into his.

“I—” he began, not entirely sure of the direction he was going, “I wish I had any of the sort of talent with words that you have, so that I might be able to express my feelings more clearly, but..” he paused, seeing the timidity begin to recede in your eyes, “perhaps I could show you instead?”

His eyes remained trained on yours as he awaited your answer, one hand skimming over your waist and running the silky fabric of your dress through his fingers, the other ghosting over your arm as it made its way up to hold your jaw.

You stared back at him with wide eyes, “I thought— you said it— that we shouldn't”

Howzer had never known you to trip over your words in such a way, and a smirk wormed its way onto his face as he shrugged a little, “I changed my mind”

He could feel some of the tension drain from your body, your shoulders relaxing, and you stepped into his space so you were chest to chest, your nose almost touching his. Your eyes dropped to his lips, tilting your head upwards so they were only a hairbreadth from his own. He could feel your breath warm on his lips, and he had to fight to keep from shivering at the sensation. Eyes finding his again, he could see more confidence in your gaze, and it sent a certain thrill through him that was hard to ignore.

“Then prove it” you whispered, lips almost brushing his.

Howzer closed the space between you, lips meeting with ardency as his arm wrapped around your waist to hold you close to him. He moved his lips against yours with intention, taking his time in the hopes that it would convey every unsaid notion of admiration. Your hands curled around the top of his chestplate, pulling him flush against you, and he gripped you tighter, the fabric of your dress bunching up at his touch.

“You look so good in my colour” he mumbled against your lips, sounding as drunk as he felt at the intoxicating taste of your lips.

“I hope so” you returned, “I wore it for you”

Howzer groaned as he instantly deepened the kiss, pressing you back into the kitchen counter, and he felt you smirk against him. His hands explored your body, finally allowing himself the pleasure of indulging in the feel of your skin.

He suddenly became overwhelmed by desire, desperate to be as close as possible after your admission. You had worn this excruciatingly tantalising dress just for him, and he wanted to be the one to take it off of you. One hand cupped the back of your head as his mouth devoured yours, exploring every inch of you he could reach, and the other trailed down your body to grip at your hip. You raised to your toes to push back against him, matching his fervour, your arms snaking around his neck to bring him closer.

In a swift motion, Howzer hooked his hands under your thighs, placing you on top of the counter behind you and standing between your thighs. You threaded your legs around his waist, pulling yourself into him and earning a breathy groan at the feel of you pressing into his now uncomfortably tight codpiece.

Howzer had never felt a desire as pure as this one. He'd had encounters of a similar nature with other people, of course, but never had he felt this aching within his chest, the need to be close, not only physically, but to be tethered together by your very souls.

Becoming impatient and overwhelmed by his own state of mind, Howzer’s hand ran down your leg and found the hem of your dress, which had ridden up a little by that point, and lifted it so he could slip beneath. His fingers danced along your skin, skimming your inner thigh as he made his way towards the apex in a swift motion.

A shaky breath passed your lips and fanned over his as his knuckles came into contact with your clothed sex. He teased you for a moment, ghosting over the fabric with featherlight touches, but a heavy sigh gave an indication that you were just as impatient as he was.

“No need to be so gentle, Captain. I told you, I'm not made of glass” your voice was thick with desire, breathy but confident.

“I thought you weren't going to call me that anymore” he pressed his forehead into yours to peer into your eyes as his first finger hooked into your underwear slowly.

“Maybe I want to” you whispered, and though initially a little stunned, his lips formed a particularly rakish grin at the implication. He took what you had said at face value and sped along the process by pushing your underwear to the side, his fingers sliding between your folds.

“Fuck” he breathed out slowly, his forehead dropping to your shoulder, “how are you so wet already?”

His voice was hoarse, genuine perplexity and pleasant surprise colouring his tone.

“Didn't you read my poetry?” you asked, a contented sigh passing your lips, “you look very good in this armour, Captain”

Howzer chuckled, and he heard your breath hitch as his fingers grazed your clit.

“So good you had to match, apparently” he breathed out, his lips against your ear and drawing a shudder from you.

He continued his teasing, every motion in response to the way you reacted to his touch. Dragging his teeth along your earlobe, he heard a whimper sound in your throat, and as you were about to reply to his previous comment, he sunk two of his fingers inside of you. Howzer could feel his knees almost give out at how easy it was to slip his fingers past your entrance, and your breath escaped you in a sharp and unsteady exhale.

“Fuck, so… good” you finally replied, struggling to get your words out as his fingers set a steady pace within you, watching every twitch that played on your features as you responded to his efforts.

Your face was twisted in pleasure, brows pinched and teeth digging into your bottom lip. It was as if you were an instrument, him the air, or the strings, that allowed you to sing. Your soft moans were the melody, the most beautiful one he had heard, and the fact that it was him pulling it from you only made it sound sweeter.

“You're right, mesh'la” he spoke against your lips, detaching the meaning you had intended from your previous words, “you're so good, taking my fingers so well”

A small whine left you, and Howzer attached his lips back to yours, swallowing the sound. His thumb brushed over your clit as he wound you up, and you let out a delighted moan into his mouth.

“Tell me how it feels, baby, tell me how good I make you feel” he rasped, the fingers of his free hand digging into the flesh of your thigh.

“It— fuck” you were interrupted as Howzer's fingers found a particularly deep spot within you, curling and hitting a place that made you unable to speak, “it feels so good, Captain”

“Yeah?” he asked, adding pressure to your clit so you could only nod in reply, “you like calling me that, huh?”

A small ‘yes’ slipped from your lips in a whisper, looking up into his eyes, and Howzer could see something shy swirling within them. He wasn't going to have that.

“Yes, what?” he challenged, and watched with pride as the timidity receded and a flicker of desire took its place.

“Yes, Captain”

Howzer smirked broadly, his teeth catching on his bottom lip as he looked down at the positive alluring sight of you at his mercy.

“Good girl” he praised, and felt the way you clenched around him in response. He was quickly coming to understand exactly what it was your body wanted from him.

He felt you getting close to finishing, your chest heaving and breath short and uneven as your walls tightened around his pumping fingers, but before you could reach your peak, he pulled his fingers from you completely. A sharp whine slipped from your lips at the loss, but Howzer just gave you a teasing simper.

“Not yet, mesh'la. I'll let you know when you can come” he spoke lowly, nothing but pure lust dripping from his tongue.

He could tell his words were having an effect on you. You were breathless, looking up at him through your eyelashes, and the sight alone was enough to set his skin alight in an entirely new way, his cock throbbing beneath his armour. A hand found its place on your cheek, needing an affirmative before continuing.

“How's that sound? You think you can follow my orders?” he asked, his tone reverent despite the meaning behind the words.

“Yes sir” you breathed out, and Howzer couldn't deny the way the sentiment set his insides alive.

He kissed you deeply, taking a moment in the flurry of desire to see to the fact that he cared for you deeply, and he wanted you to know that. His fingers traced your jaw, winding their way behind you head in a soft brush of skin against skin. He kept his touch light as he drew a path up to one of your lekku, and gently brushed his knuckles over the sensitive area.

He felt a shiver ripple through you, and you drew away from him with a shaky breath. Your eyes were a little wide, and he worried that he'd pushed your boundaries, but then your fingers hooked into his belt and you yanked him towards you.

“How do I take this off?” you asked, fumbling with the clasp.

Howzer laughed, your actions so sudden that he couldn't help himself, “here, let me do it”

He shooed your hands away, unclipping his belt and then going about removing the rest of his armour as quickly as possible. You just sat atop the counter, one leg crossed over the other and watching him with a fascination. He caught your eyes, and a smirk broke out over his face.

There was an understanding between you, a sense of affinity and trust that had been there since the beginning. Howzer didn't believe in fate — his time in the war had only taught him the certainty of everything being up to chance and luck — but something about the way you looked at him, the way his eyes found yours and things made sense, it felt that it had been brewing for a long time, since before you had met.

Once Howzer was just down to his blacks, his armour scattered about the floor that surrounded him, he pulled the top from his body, and your hands were on him before he could continue. You pulled him towards you, tasting his lips again, and he melted into you, his hands running up your thighs.

Your hands travelled over his chest and took a path downwards, your fingers brushing against his muscle and the hair that peeked above his blacks before they wrapped around his hardened length. An unbidden groan left his lips at the action, grinding himself into your hold and gripping the flesh of your thighs as you palmed him through the material. He could feel himself crumbling under your attention already, and he couldn't wait a second longer. He needed to feel you around him.

His thumbs hooked into the waistband of his blacks and tugged them down with his underwear, stepping out and catching the way you bit your lip at the sight of his cock springing free. He bunched your dress up around your hips and slid your underwear from your body with an urgency, placing himself between your legs once more and resting the blunt head of his cock at your entrance. Your breath stuttered at the sensation, and he looked up to meet your eyes once more.

You were so beautiful. He'd always known it, but a newfound appreciation of your beauty now washed over him like an icy tidal wave, waking him up and making him feel entirely more present and aware of what was happening. One of his hands lifted to caress your face, looking deeply into your eyes and feeling that connection, the tethering of souls that he desired.

“You're incredible” he breathed out, and your lips curled up into a genuine smile.

“I think you're pretty incredible too, since were being honest”

Howzer wasn't entirely sure how to respond to the compliment, but shortly a smug expression took over his face, “oh I know, you wouldn't write words like that otherwise”

You rolled your eyes, a huff leaving your lips, “cocky”

He dragged his tongue along his lips with a devilish grin, “you have no idea”

He sheathed into you, and heard a gasp get caught in your throat as he slowly filled you out. Your fingers gripped onto his shoulders as he bottomed out, and Howzer couldn't find it within himself to move. He pulled you close, your foreheads together and eyes closed as your bodies were flush with one another, his cock buried deep within you, basking in your warmth. He pulled out slowly, a careful procedure, and then sank back into you with a shuddering breath.

“Fuck” he choked out, running a soothing hand up your side, “you feel so good baby”

Howzer set a steady pace at first, relishing in the feeling of your tight walls around his cock, but soon found himself speeding up, the sensation too intoxicating and your nails biting into his shoulder making his vision hazy even as he opened his eyes. The melody of your moans was more colourful, inflections and articulations that he hadn't heard before, and the sounds alone were driving him closer to the edge by the second.

His speed was punishing, driving into you and hitting deep inside with each thrust. His hands gripped your thighs to ground him, feeling almost drunk on the feel of you. He was mumbling acclamatory words against your lips, unable to concentrate enough to speak properly, and especially when your lips were on his neck. It made his head spin, more arousing than he realised, and he felt positively high. You were invading his senses like a drug, and he was so lost in the moment that he was only brought back by the feel of your walls clenching around him. Despite his body's wishes, he pulled out of you completely. You let out a whine in protest, and he ran a finger over your pouting bottom lip with a chuckle.

“Not yet, pretty girl”

He brought his fingers to your core again, teasing you just enough to keep you on the edge. He watched you squirm, both satisfaction and frustration written into your expression, and your hands wrapped around the back of his neck and slid up, tangling in his hair as you guided his lips back to yours. You pulled gently, earning a groan from his throat that echoed in the space around you. Howzer returned the action, running his palm over the base of your lekku.

You whimpered against him, and pulled back fractionally to speak a desperate plea to let you finish. Instead of heeding your wishes, he took his fingers away from you, and a breath escaped you as your forehead came to rest on his chest. Your legs wrapped around his waist again, drawing him closer so his cock came into contact with your dripping core. He groaned deeply, wanting nothing more than to bury himself in you again.

“Where's your bedroom?” he mumbled out, and your head raised to look at him.

“Door on the right” you answered in a quick breath.

Howzer hooked his hands under your thighs and wasted no time in heading over towards the room. He smashed his hand into the door panel with an urgency, making you chuckle against his skin as you littered kisses up his neck and along his jaw. When he found the bed in the darkened room, he placed you down gently, laying you down beneath him. He took the opportunity to explore your body with his lips, pressing open mouthed kisses where your dress would allow, and nudging it aside when he wasn't satisfied with how little skin he could reach.

He then pulled back and tilted his head, a small smirk playing on his lips as he looked down at you, “don't you think you’re a little overdressed?”

Your lips lifted into their own smirk, “you think so?”

Howzer chucked darkly, his lips meeting the skin of your neck as he drew a path of kisses along the underside of your jaw. He paused for a moment, feeling you shudder at the feel of his hot breath against your ear.

“Be a good girl and take this off for me” he spoke lowly.

You pushed him away with a trembling breath, and he rolled off of you, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching as you stood. You slipped the straps of your dress from your shoulders, and the silky material of the dress folded easily, sliding from your body and pooling at your feet in one graceful motion. Howzer’s mouth dropped open, his hand reaching for you and tracing his thumb along your hip bone as he took in the sight of you in a state of undress.

“Kriff cyare, look at you” his tone was nothing short of worshipping, adoration and infatuation laced into his tone.

One side of your lips quirked up at the compliment, and however much he hadn't really spoke his mind, he knew you understood. He gripped your waist and pulled you back towards him, tugging you down and placing his body back on top of yours, caging your head between his splayed palms. He shook his head in disbelief, looking down at the sight of you beneath him and taking your hand in his, interlacing your fingers with his and pressing it into the bed.

“You ready pretty girl?” he asked in a whisper, leaning down to press a kiss to your jaw.

You nodded, your breath leaving you as he positioned himself at your entrance once more.

“Hm, doesn't seem like you really want it” He spoke coyly, slipping his length through your slick folds as he dragged his teeth along your collarbone.

You were whimpering, squirming beneath him, and he knew he had you absolutely wrapped around his finger in that moment. It was exhilarating, the idea that ordinarily you were a quiet and poised government official, strong in your resolve and far above him in station, but now you were beneath him, begging for more, hanging on his every word and under his command.

“Please, Captain” you breathed out, your tone so lustful that Howzer could have crumbled.

“Please what? You have to tell me what you need mesh'la” he rumbled against your skin, teasing your clit with the tip of his cock.

“Please, I— I need you to fuck me Captain”

You sounded desperate, and it drew a low groan from Howzer's throat, “that's more like it”

His forehead met yours as he slid inside of you again, filling you completely in one thrust, the dulcet sound of your moans mixing filling the dark room. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your hand gripping his tighter as he pounded into you. He wasn’t entirely sure that he was actually going to last much longer with the feel of your walls clenching around him, but he was determined to have you hanging on until the very last second.

The feeling that it gave him, the intimacy of it more than anything, was euphoric. He had never felt so close to another person, so understood and frankly loved, whether or not it was the case. The two of you were connected in a way that he couldn't comprehend, but could only feel, an energy that bound you together and created a space where only the two of you existed.

He felt your walls tightening around him once more, and kept his pace up as he spoke, “ah, ah. You don't come until I tell you to, remember?”

“Yes, Captain” you whimpered, your eyes screwing shut.

“Hey” he said more gently, slowing down as his hand caressed your face, “look at me.” Your eyes opened once more, and a smile broke out on his face naturally, “there you are pretty girl”

He bumped his forehead with yours as he resumed his punishing pace, his eyes burning into yours and yours burning in kind. He could tell you were only just hanging on, doing everything in your willpower to not come undone until he let you, and he just felt grateful for the trust you had in him to allow him to have such a power over you.

“You take me so well baby” he whispered, his voice reverent and gentle as he buried his face in your neck, nipping at your skin, “made for this cock”

His breath stuttered as he felt himself getting close, not able to hold on for much longer, and your whispered pleas told him that you were right there with him.

“where do you want me?” he asked, his voice strained.

You were breathless as you replied, almost relieved, “inside”

Howzer groaned deeply, stilling inside you and trying to control his body desperately, “I'm serious cyar'ika”

“I'm protected” you assured him, “please Captain, I want to feel you”

That was all Howzer needed to resume his shattering pace, his hands holding your hips firmly in place as he pounded into you and finally spoke the words, “come for me, baby”

You were easily pushed over the edge, and Howzer rode you through your high until he came undone with a harsh grunt, spilling his seed deep within you. It took more than a moment to come down from the pure bliss of fulfilment, and when he did, his eyes opened to look down at you, still panting, and you were doing the same. He let out a breathy laugh, grinning at your spent expression.

He slipped out of you, sitting back on his heels to catch his breath, and watched the way his seed spilled out of you, making his teeth sink into his lip. His eyes found yours once more as his hand gently kneaded your thigh, shaking his head in disbelief.

“What?” you asked, a gentle smile playing on your lips.

“You're just—” he breathed out deeply, “you're so beautiful”

You grinned at him, sitting up on your elbows, “thank you”

You looked confident in saying it, and his heart sang with affection. He pressed a kiss to your knee and stood from the bed, “don't move, I'll be right back”

He left the room and entered what he rightly assumed was the refresher, and returned with tissue in hand. He helped you clean up before crawling over you again, cupping your face and pressing a tender kiss to your lips.

You hummed contentedly, your own hand caressing his face, outlining the scar on his cheek, “will you stay the night?”

You looked so hopeful in asking, but Howzer sighed, “I can't be caught leaving here tomorrow”

You chewed on your cheek, looking away for a moment, “just for a little while then?”

He smiled, “alright, a little while”

He settled beside you and pulled your body flush against his, placing a kiss to your forehead as he held you close. Your face was buried in his chest, breath tickling his skin, and he couldn't think of a time when he had ever felt as contented as this.

“Howzer?” you called softly.

“Hm?” he rumbled, his arms tightening around you.

“What— um…” you stammered, and he pulled back to look at you.

“What's up?”

You didn't look nervous perse, he didn't think you capable of it, but you looked a little apprehensive to say whatever it is that was hanging onto your tongue.

“What does this mean?” you asked quietly.

Howzer smiled, his fingers brushing against your cheekbone as he looked down at you adoringly, “it means whatever you want it to”

You tilted your head at him a little, “well what do you want?”

“I only want whatever you'll give me, however much that is”

A small smile tugged at your lips, and you lifted your head to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, “I just want you… in every way I can”

“Then I'm yours” he smiled in return, “in every way”

It was first light when Howzer awoke the next day, the sun only just breaching the horizon and casting a blue glow through the curtains of your bedroom. He was pressed up against your body, curled around you and keeping you sealed in a warm embrace with his arms.

He wished that you could stay like this forever, the both of you comfortable and locked together, hidden from the unblinking eye of the outside world and the realities that weighed on your minds at any other moment. Here, there was no Empire, no politics, no power — just peace.

Howzer nuzzled into your neck for just a second, pressing a lingering kiss to your throat, before he pulled away from you completely, leaving the room to get dressed into his previously discarded armour. If he had taken another moment he was sure he'd never leave.

He dressed quickly, slipping his blacks on and putting his armour back in it's place. As he adjusted his pauldron, he looked back towards your bedroom door. He didn't want to leave without saying goodbye, but he also didn't want to wake you. You would be getting up soon enough, but he wouldn't deny you even a few minutes of rest with the state of things in the senate bureau, so instead he opted to write a note.

He found your flimsibook and a stylus in the drawer where you had stuffed them the night before and opened to the next blank page, next to the end of a very long poem that was seemingly about justice, based on the heavy use of the word. He wasn't going to pry by reading it once more, so he just wrote a quick note down, to let you know that he'd make some caf for you. His language wasn't as flowery as yours, and he almost felt embarrassed for it, but he wasn't exactly trying to be very poetic. He set a batch of caf on to brew, then slipped out the front door as quietly as possible.

The air outside was fresh, the scent of morning dew and the ever-present lavender invading his senses, though the distinct lack of people around was strange. Howzer was never usually out of the barracks this early so it was unusual to be able to hear the birdsong, which was usually covered by the sound of people talking, milling about, on their way to work. It was nice, perhaps he'd make an effort to get up earlier in the future.

As he made his way towards the square, he was ambushed by a pair of troopers, exactly the people he was trying to avoid in not going back to the barracks.

“Where have you been?” Teddy asked him with a taunting edge, knocking his elbow as the two of them walked either side of him.

“Yeah, you weren't in your bed last night” Oscar smirked, “which begs the question: whose bed were you in?”

Howzer rolled his eyes, playing off their questions, “I was stationed at the Senator's estate last night”

Oscar let out a loud laugh, “as if you slept in the Senator's mansion”

“We're not that stupid, sir” Teddy gave him a knowing look, “well, maybe Oscar is, but come on, wh—”

“Hey!” Oscar reached around his Captain to push Teddy away.

“You two are such children” Howzer shook his head disapprovingly, though a small smile still managed to worm its way onto his face.

“He started it” Oscar grumbled, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Did not” Teddy grinned, rubbing his arm.

“Anyway” Oscar said pointedly, “you didn't answer the question. who'd you go home with, Captain?”

Howzer scoffed, “I’m not discussing this with you loudmouths”

“Don't worry sir, I'll cover his ears while you tell me” Teddy suggested, causing Howzer to chuckle.

“Don't you two have somewhere to be?” He asked as they came to a stop in the town square, an eyebrow raised and looking between them.

“Ugh” Oscar huffed, rolling his eyes, “I suppose”

“Best be off then” Howzer nudged him forwards.

Oscar was mumbling under his breath as he walked away, and Teddy leaned toward Howzer fractionally, his tone amused, “Don't worry sir, I'll keep him in line”

“I know you will, Teddy” Howzer chuckled fondly as he stepped away, “I'll see you later”

Teddy gave his Captain a quick salute and ran after his brother, throwing an arm around his shoulders on approach. Howzer turned away with an affectionate smile and the threat of a scoff leaving his mouth at their antics.

Howzer had barely been keeping it together all morning, and he had no idea how you could act so nonchalantly, as if nothing had transpired between the two of you. It wasn't discussed that your escapades from the previous night would be kept a secret, but it was assumed. That didn't stop the way the edges of Howzer's lips curled into a smirk upon seeing you enter the room.

Today you were dressed in a corseted robe, paisley designs adorning the silky sleeves and collar, and it was noticeably a light blue-green colour; teal. Howzer shook his head at you and had to bite back a smirk, he could tell you knew what you were doing. You had greeted him with a simple ‘Good morning, Captain’ but it had made his blood run hot with memories of the previous night filling his vision. He had never been so thankful for his codpiece.

He watched as you and Cham discussed something in his office, your voices too far away to hear what. He caught little words here and there, but nothing that really indicated the subject matter. It made him laugh, really. You would both probably discuss it with him later, so there was no need for the hushed tone you employed, but neither of you knew that. Perhaps you did, but your sabacc face was too good that he couldn't tell.

The arrival of a new Imperial officer, a vice admiral, had been the talk of the day. The man was so self-important and petulant that Howzer was sure he was making up for something, though in truth, he hadn't been paying all that much attention to him. He hadn't been paying attention to anyone but you.

You had met his gaze only once since first saying good morning, and it was driving him crazy, particularly as the one time he did catch your eyes, you had sent him a maddeningly sultry smirk. Howzer felt like all the self control he had left within him was hanging by a thread, ready to snap.

When the time was right, he pulled the thread, and let it break, finally getting you alone and dragging you behind a non-descript door that ended up being some kind of supply closet. He instantly pushed you up against the wall, attaching his lips to yours with a desperation that made you smirk against his mouth.

“Someone's eager” you chuckled as his lips left yours for a moment.

“Shut up” he mumbled, kissing you deeply in between his words, “what do you expect when you walk in wearing this?”

You smirked broadly, “I thought you'd like it”

He suppressed a groan as your teeth dragged along his lip, “you're trouble”

Howzer's hands roved over your body, mapping the shape of it and burning it into his brain. He ran his tongue over the seem of your lips, begging for entrance that you allowed in an instant, and the soft sigh that left you made his knees weak.

A shuffling of feet outside the door made the both of you freeze, eyes opening and locking as you listened intently. It sounded as if there was a group of people passing by, their discussion so benign it could be about anything.

You smiled up at Howzer as their voices receded, and he returned the gesture, his arms snaking around your waist and holding you tightly.

“Thank you for the caf” you whispered.

“It was no problem” he whispered back, a hand cupping your cheek.

“But next time, wake me up” you said, somehow ever quieter.

The promise of a next time made his smile widen, and he knew now that he wouldn't deny you anything you asked for. He bit his lip as you looked up at him through your lashes, your gentle expression making his chest feel tight with admiration.

“Alright” he murmured.

He dipped his head and nudged your chin up with his nose to latch his lips onto your neck, and that wonderful sighing noise left your parted lips once more.

“We shouldn’t be doing this here” you insisted, your voice breathy and full of a certain neediness despite your words.

“Tell me to stop” Howzer spoke, his warm breath over your collarbone, and you moaned softly, prompting him to repeat himself, “go on, tell me to stop”

Your breath was short, but you found your voice enough to speak, “no sir”

“That's what I thought”

Howzer placed an armoured leg between your thighs to pin you to the wall, and a less gentle moan slipped from your lips.

“Shhh” he cooed, shifting his leg further up just to tease you, and you struggled to suppress another noise, “do you think you can stay quiet for me, baby?”

You stifled a noise as he bit into your neck, giving him his answer.

“Good girl”

taglist: @darthnihila @cdblake1565 @heidnspeak @mae-lou-ron @burningnerdchild @orangez3st

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snakegills · 14 days ago

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Rambling about my fortnite fic (you're a king among the thieves) under the cut. Ignore or read i don't care

Idk if I've mentioned this but the title for this fic is from a song called Midas Touch by AURORA. The full line being "Midas, my dear/No wonder why you're scared/You're a king among the thieves/And your world belongs to me"

Like... cmon i had to! The placeholder title (Ghost's that don't know they are dead) is a line from devil house by John darnielle. Cool as fuck but it was always intended to be changed. Oh so I'm gonna jump right in now

So when it comes to characters like Montague saying that there is very little information about him is an understatement. It's been a bit so don't quote me but I'm pretty sure this freak has ONE line of dialog. Lucky for me characters like this are my specialty!

First off to build a character for what is essentially just a Skin In Fortnite I looked at basically everything epic released relating to him. Any blurb I could find on the society, every item description in his set, every item description in the OTHER society members set, and all the dialog from other society members. There really isn't too much canon that is gleaned from all this, mainly he's French and in charge. So from there i start to make logical connections.

Such as, looking at his character model gives you a lot of insight for what the designers want you to pick up on! For instance, Montague has a prominent eye scar, dual toned hair, and different colored eyes. The scars tell an obvious story, at some point he was injured. From there it can extrapolate that IF he has an eye injury and different colored eyes then one of those eyes could be fake. From there it can create a backstory for that injury, how he lost it, why he lost it, and what it means for him now.

Furthermore, in Montague's loading screen he's driving the society whiplash away from a trailsmasher. It's actually a nice piece of art work and Montague is even smiling in ot! I incorporated it into my fic by simply making Montague a very good driver.

Another example that is far more subtle is his lack of dialog. Because of that he does not actually talk to other characters unless he has to. Obviously as one of the main characters he has to talk, but when he's not in a negotiation or with Midas he typically keeps his sentence very short and direct. The svene in the car with Jules and pj is probably what most of his "conversations" are like. And that's why when I did a flashback scene to him as a child he was portrayed as selectively mute, only speaking when forced to by his mother.

All that aside when I was workshopping his character i wanted to really nail down a few traits that would endear him to, well myself mostly because I don't like him but yknow I wanted to make him have a good side to his bad. Something that draws Midas, and the reader, into wanting him to have a good ending.

So essentially Montague is a cunt. He's prideful, judgmental and selfish. He wants things his way and he does not like being told no or someone getting the best of him. He holds grudges, talks down to everyone, and is all round a draining guy to be around. (All yuppies and most French people are like this)

What makes him good? Well since he is a thief (and french) i wanted to give him a respect and appreciation of Art in all forms. Grand glacier is- was? Chock full of paintings and sculptures. A part of his backstory is him being a dancer and eventually finding his passion as a model because he recognizes the art that is high fashion. It never ended up being mentioned in the fic but him being a dancer is how he met Clara then eventually Valeria. Oh! I also decided to make him like animals, specifically because he's not very fond of people. I think it works because it shows that he is capable of kindness and understanding long before he shows that side to a person. (Maybe that's why he's trying so hard to recruit Silas, the snake and all)

I also wanted to humanize Montague by writing him with BPD (borderline personality disorder). This is not to say that this disorder is for evil people, but it is the reason he behaves so bitter and aloof towards well everyone. Montague thinks about everything people do. He over thinks he runs it around in his head he considers all angles because he has just had everything he worked for brought down by someone on the inside that he trusted. That would be difficult for anyone to deal with, and bcs the fic takes place directly after that it's Montague operates at his absolute worst. He's so suspicious of Midas and truly believes there is a ploy out for his life because the thought of being betrayed AGAIN by someone getting feels a genuine spark of interest in wracks him with anxiety. He doesn't eat he barely sleeps and he just goes one moment to the next until inevitable crash. Even though he is a jerk you cannot help but understand how that feels, and thus how BPD affects people in ways that aren't stereotypical yknow? Montague's BPD is not what makes him a bad person, its how he chooses to act around others. Arguably it's what makes him sympathetic, it makes him human

This leads me into Midas! Which is exciting because unlike Montague i actually like Midas. Idk if anyone's noticed but there is SIGNIFICANTLY more description of Midas' appearance than Montague's. No real reason i just think ascendant Midas is pretty and Montague is French.

Anywhoozers, Midas he has a lot more character things in fortnite and outside. Imagine that. So there's much more to work with and i dont have to construct a backstory for him because all that has already been written! When I started this fic I was very interested in the concept of him literally coming back to life from the Greek Underworld. Against my will I am very knowledgeable about Greek and Roman mythology so I had plenty build from.

My goal was to write the Midas in this fic a very specific way. I wanted him to read as wise but sort of youthful. I wanted his inner monolog to be the positive to Montague's dower.

Before he died he was a lot like how Montague is at the start of the fic. He's so driven by his need to understand the Zero Point that he will not let himself have a moment of rest. When he dies, he is at where Montague is right now. He has lost everything, even his life. In death he finally found peace, and was able to slow down.

When he comes back he carries this peace with him. Though he is vengeful that part is ostensibly taken care of (floor is lava), and the man we see is someone with literally a new lease on life. He meets Montague and doesn't want to fix him so much as be with him while he grows. I think it plays into my love of vampire things where I wrote Midas with the concept that he had been alive for thousands of years in the Zero Point as part of the IO. He's not so much more mature than Montague than he is more wise. Therefore he brings unconditional love and patience to their relationship which Montague desperately needs at this point.

This is what I think is so compelling about the two of them. Their relationship is held on a basis of mutual respect and a recognition of themselves in the other. Midas brings out the best in Montague, and Montague brings out the worst in Midas. They are not necessarily evil people, but they are very hard to love. That's just honest facts too. Some people are hard to love. Does Montague deserve Midas? No. He doesn't. But I am compelled to write a story in which, despite all odds, he finds someone that can love him and that he can love back.

Now, obviously, Midas is no saint. He has an ulterior motive and is willing to do an awful thing to get it because no matter what, he is STILL King Midas and will always be greedy. Montague is not incorrect in suspecting Midas wants something from him. He just doesn't realize that it's HIM Midas wants.

#midague #midas fortnite #montague fortnite #yap yap yap or whatever

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crystalverse-project · 1 month ago

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hello, welcome to my mcyt blog, except it's only about one youtuber and it's not about the youtuber but only the character

this post is about the graphic novel trayaurus and the enchanted crystal. or to be more specific the fact i've found and bought two foreign language versions just to compare them both because i think translations are cool and interesting and i have autism and nobody's documented this and i have autism and the next thousand reasons consist of i have autism

trayaurus y el diamante encantado (spanish)

trayaurus et le cristal enchanté (french)

so i didn't even know this book got translated at all until a few months ago. and i managed to find both of these on amazon for reasonable prices, except the french one came with a broken spine and the only remaining spanish one is now demanding several hundred pounds for the only one left last time i checked.

i don't have a way of getting scans of this for preservation, so my phone camera's going to have to do. i also don't have an english copy anymore but i do have pictures of the pages to cross reference. this is what happens when you have a special interest guys you start cross referencing three versions of the same book at the same when you only know one language. (i haven't translated it all yet so i was looking at visual differences right now)

NOTE: all uses of "english" version refer to the original uk release. i've seen us releases that are so different they could be a different blogpost

back covers

for some reason the spanish copy is a lot less thick as the french and english ones? they all have the same pages so idk why that is. i can't remember which is the original way this spine faced, but everything is the same except the publisher logos.

according to copyright info the spanish version released in 2018, french 2017. i don't want to go past the picture limit so i'll just say there was an error on the spanish version where it said original title, it was written 'trayaurus and the enchanted cristal'. in the book the crystal is specifcally a diamond in spanish

in the introduction all the character names are white outlined with black in french, this wasn't a thing in english

the sound effects were translated in spanish and left english in french

various other text translations, in spanish one part was just blank

the two most interesting changes/errors:

the sign for trayaurus' office is translated in french but in spanish it's in english but in a different squished font? i'm not sure why they'd change that, i had to go get the pictures i took of the english one just to check i wasn't going insane

and here's a silly error i noticed on one page...in the french version the speech bubbles just went randomly off course

soon i'm going to try translate all the text to see if it's accurate/different, what i can make out now is pretty much the same.

we've found two other translations of this book, but for...political reasons i don't feel comfortable talking about them. if things were different in the world i would absolutely, because one of them is possibly bootleg and the other one has a flipped reading style so the whole book is the other way around. we HAVE found a full version of one but i don't want to offend or alienate anyone, so i won't talk about them.

i could, however, make more blog posts about the book, because it's inspired me so much. just not in a completely positive way. the story and characters i of course LOVED in the book, it's dantdm, favourite series in the whole world, my comfort series. the illustrations in the book though...um

i also found it being sold on a japanese site, but it wasn't translated. but i did see some of the tube heroes figures being sold on yahoo auctions in japan. i would try get a closer look but it's blocked in the uk and i don't have a vpn... ;-;

BONUS, ON THE TOPIC OF TRANSLATIONS:

before you ask, no, this is not ai generated, or a fandub.

there was this canadian kids show called "gaming show in my parents' garage" which was just stuff about kids playing video games and getting guest appearances, dan was in a few episodes!! but also it was dubbed and broadcast in central europe on a channel called megamax, this is a clip of the romanian dub. the guy doing dan's voice i found out is called alexandru rusu, and he does a lot of romanian dubbing for other shows. for just a few examples, he did the narration on this same show, cyborg on teen titans, geoff in total drama, the bus dude in fireman sam and the narrator in thomas the tank engine in the seasons where it wasn't cgi

#dantdm #mcyt #minecraft #minecraft youtube #old mcyt #the diamond minecart #autism #dr trayaurus #grim the skeleton dog #trayaurus and the enchanted crystal #mini essay #autistic rambling #special interest

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purpleglitch · 4 months ago

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Hi this is a post where I go crazy over stuff I read on c!george's dsmp wiki page 😁👍

Under the read more because it gets a bit long, this is a very unserious analysis(???) ^_^

King george I never moved on from you,,,,,, and he also never moved on from his kingship, I didn't get to add something because of the image limit but in a introduction to a new character much much later in the lore, the wiki says he introduced himself as "the king of the dsmp still" like GIRLLLL, and that days after the dethronement he was asked about his feelings on it and he said he didn't care about it...... so what's the truth.... ☹️

Also pig george I'm crying icb that's a thing in the wiki agshshdhjfjf, he's just a little guy

C!George was so based they silenced him....

Hello, he should've stayed in a team with c!dream since the beginning, they had the same goals hello.... Also underrated lore was politician c!gnf, swag2020 was better prepared than pog2020 but because everyone watched from their povs, george and q were seen as the bad guys. Can we talk about how it was c!george the first one to say the whole thing about wanting the server to be one big happy family, I'm crying

THIS IS WHAT I WAS SAYING HELLOOOO GEORGE PLEASE LET ME STUDY YOU UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

"George took pride in being king and enjoyed his title" he loved being protected by dream and how he did everything for him, they were both freaks in that arc oh my god.... dorry.

c!george's apathy and carelessness were such great parts of his character I'm so serious. Like on one side he doesn't care about anything so he's going to sleep through every drama, but at the same time he cares about everything so he's going to participate and instigate conflict and he just wants his friends...

I'm not breathing. Can anyone hear me. Can we talk about this. He wanted to visit. Hello. He impulsively went to visit dream. He was angry c!dream was in prison hello. He wanted to go in so badly he risked it all and broke a block from the prison instead of going in and asking c!sam like normal and then he was banned from ever going in

do you think one of the reasons he later was seen standing in front of the prison but never going in was that ban??? I mean, besides the guilt and pain that brought him thinking about c!dream. Is this why on his last lore stream where he dreams about meeting dream post prison and being confronted about never visiting him and george saying he didn't know he could've asked was because Sam threatened him??

That whole stream where tubbo, ranboo, foolish and george were gambling with XD for items could be seen as not canon lore but think about how funny it would be, like so many streams XD is in are so random (mainly because dream wanted to goof around the server without pulling his mc character out of pandora but shhh) they all could be taken as dreams from c!george or other characters like c!foolish

C!DNF couple goals being both stuck in prisons (c!dream in pandora, and c!george in a bedrock box). also the dethronement already happened by this point but dreamXD proclaming c!george the king of chaos is making me cry so much, what's up with cc!dream giving george the king title again..... idk im gonna overthink this a lot

"It was given to George by Dream himself and was George's only highly valuable item." let's take a second to process this- c!george's most valuable item was a non enchanted shield that c!dream gave him, in the image it doesn't show but the shield had the blue brick pattern because it represented the obsidian wall c!dream built around new l'manburg after c!george's house was vandalized. AND IT'S HIS MOST PRECIOUS ITEM HELLOOOOOOOOO, it was the only thing he had left of c!dream and it was his most valuable item over his weapons, beckerson and the netherite armor XD gave him...... ok.

This one is really interesting because the relationship tab is not really accurate with the descriptions lenghts so i find really interesting how they made c!dream's description the longest one while c!sapnap's description was like 2 lines long 😭😭

Ok but this description is so sad, "They stuck by each other's side. [...] But as time flew by, they seemed to get more distant." I don't agree that the dethronement was "spontaneous" because c!dream did say that he did it because he cared about c!george and he didn't want him to keep losing his stuff to assasination attempts and because of the danger of being associated to c!dream... plus the other reasons of c!george not staying neutral to the dsmp faction.

It haunts me that they never got to talk to each other once c!dream got in pandora and their relationship was left like that in "bad terms" because of the dethronement but the way they both thought about each other with c!dream wanting gnf to visit him and talk, and c!george dreaming about dream leaving the prison and being a team together again..... idk c!dnf my doomed yaoi..........

Also cgeorge seeing XD as a stand-in for cdream is the funniest thing he misses him so much he dreamt god looks and sounds like his ex imghjhdkjfhdkfhkghk

"me and the bad bitch i pulled by being whimsy and heartbroken (im scared of him but dont tell him)" -c!george, probably.

again there's stuff i didnt put because of the image limit but reading the wiki was so crazy there was stuff i didnt remember that are now feeding my cgnf brainrot, he's such a silly guy i really like his character :( aaaa feel free to send me asks to talk about him or dsmp lore in general, i probably have bad takes on other stuff but whatever,,, i stay silly

#glitch.txt #c!george #c!dnf #c!dream #cdnf #georgenotfound

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takeiteasyonmeimstilllearning · 3 months ago

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hot take on a real life Jigen

I know that Monkey punch modeled Jigen on James Coburn, but hear me out. Robert Mitchum is Jigens spirit animal.

1stly, voice. They have the same timber. (Idk what else to call it) I would definitely say epcar and Mitchum are in the same category. Kobayashi is similar too but he is more animated, going into falsetto and such. I also think if jigen sang he would be baritone and talk-sing his way through lyrics.

2ndly, Mitchum's grumpy old man vibe just radiate Jigen imo.

Mitchum quotes:

They got so they wanted me to take some of my clothes off in the pictures. I objected to this, so I put on some weight and looked like a Bulgarian wrestler when I took my shirt off.

The only difference between me and my fellow actors is that I've spent more time in jail.

I gave up being serious about making pictures around the time I made a film with Greer Garson and she took a hundred and twenty-five takes to say no.

[on his acting talents] Listen. I got three expressions: looking left, looking right and looking straight ahead.

People think I have an interesting walk. Hell, I'm just trying to hold my gut in.

When I drop dead and they rush to the drawer, there's going to be nothing in it but a note saying 'later'.

I never take any notice of reviews - unless a critic has thought up some new way of describing me. That old one about my lizard eyes and anteater nose and the way I sleep my way through pictures is so hackneyed now.

Years ago, I saved up a million dollars from acting, a lot of money in those days, and I spent it all on a horse farm in Tucson. Now when I go down there, I look at that place and I realize my whole acting career adds up to a million dollars worth of horse shit.

I never changed anything, except my socks and my underwear. And I never did anything to glorify myself or improve my lot. I took what came and did the best I could with it.

[asked what jail was like] It's like Palm Springs without the riff-raff.

John Wayne had four-inch lifts in his shoes. He had the overheads on his boat accommodated to fit him. He had a special roof put in his station wagon. The son-of-a-bitch, they probably buried him in his goddamn lifts.

There just isn't any pleasing some people. The trick is to stop trying.

Sure I was glad to see John Wayne win the Oscar. I'm always glad to see the fat lady win the Cadillac on television, too.

I kept the same suit for six years - and the same dialog. We just changed the title of the picture and the leading lady.

[asked why he took on an 18-hour mini-series] It promised a year of free lunches.

How do I keep fit? I lay down a lot.

[1969] How the hell did I get into this picture anyway? I kept reading in the papers that I was going to do it, but when they sent me the script I just tossed it on the heap with the rest of them. But somehow, one Monday morning, here I was. How the hell do these things happen to a man?

[1948] I'm a natural hermit. I've been in constant motion of escape all my life. I never really found the right corner to hide in.

[1968] The Rin Tin Tin method is good enough for me. That dog never worried about motivation or concepts and all that junk.

[on working with Faye Dunaway] When I got here I walked in thinking I was a star and then I found I was supposed to do everything the way she says. Listen, I'm not going to take any temperamental whims from anyone, I just take a long walk and cool off. If I didn't do that, I know I'd wind up dumping her on her derrière.

[asked what he looks for in a script before accepting a job] Days off.

[on Jane Russell] Miss Russell was a very strong character. Very good-humored when she wasn't being cranky.

They think I don't know my lines. That's not true. I'm just too drunk to say 'em.

Look me dead in the eye and Tell me this isn't jigen

#daisuke jigen #jigen #lupin 3rd #lupin iii #lupin the third #jigen daisuke #jigen lupin the third #robert mitchum #Robert mitchum quotes #Robert mitchum is Jigen Daisuke's spirit animal #Both are grumpy #sassy #Don't give a crap about a lot of things #Takeiteasyonmeimstilllearning talks

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echoedcrosshairs · 1 year ago

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Just Cad / Cad Bane x F Reader

After reading @sinisterexaggerator post about Cad being depressed it gave me a angst/fluff idea if you haven’t read it you should & @dreamswithghosts for gif

Summary: After pairing with you Bane kept you around, one day he drops you off realizing he made a grave mistake seeing you take a bounty with the last people he ever wants to see again.

/ Bad Batch Era Bane / ~> might rewrite and develop more but idk

Warning: Angst, Fluff, Rough Cowboy & Cuddly Cowboy, mild adult subject. PG-13

Word count: 3.1k

After completing the score, Bane had grown more quiet than normal. He was already a man of a few words but the silence was heavy in the air, even Todo had been quietly sitting in his copilot chair. It hadn't been a high stakes bounty or a high profile case, it was open and closed the closes one would get to easy money in this line of work. You spun your chair in a circle groaning before getting up and wrapping your arms around the silent Duros keeping yourself under his hat not to knock it off. Smelling the familiar blaster traces and leather on him, he didn't even try to pry you off.

"Okay, Cowboy, what is it?" you asked letting the concern lace your voice.

"Nuff'in."

"Cad Bane, don't you lie to me," you said pulling yours arms off him staring down at the brim of his hat, "What is it? Bounty too boring? Let's find any another to do."

"Dat ain't it."

"So tell me!" you said impatiently.

"Droppin you off."

Your blood ran cold, time stood still looking down at him and it was if reality was breaking, "For how long?" his silence was answer enough. You went back to your seat but you couldn't sit still, your leg bounced wildly. You got up headed to the bunk room, you looked down at his bunk shaking your head grabbing your stuff off the top bunk and mini closet. Both of you weren't a couple but why did it hurt like a break up? You thudded your ahead against the shelf of the bunk trying to pull yourself together. Sure there had been moments where glances lasted longer than they should have or nights where a little to much was drank that opened him up to talk or maybe the occasional hug to the man you considered a friend. Thought was, you mentally corrected, but was never more than that so why was he kicking you out? You wanted to demand answers but you knew once he made up his mind that was it.

You unholstered his LL-30 copy you had on for the bounty just incase nothing had gone to plan, you laid it on his bunk not having enough strength to face him. Bane was a cold blooded killer, most would consider this a blessing but you knew him deeper down than most there was still a person underneath those sharp teeth and crimson eyes. For a man who had it all, the title of the best, the first pick of any bounty he the fear and respect that came along with that there was always something under the surface the loomed over him that you couldn't describe other than lonesome.

You took yourself down to the ramp bay with the two duffels in tow. Minutes went by, you heard the metal of his respirator and the click of his boots against the floor, "I still don't understand why..." you paused to take a deep breath, "I guess I'll see you when I see you, Cowboy," you uttered at his shadow waiting by the ramp.

"Ya betta off."

"I'm better off? I'm better off with the one person I trust."

"Dat's a weakness a cute lil lady likya can' afford."

You turned to him gawking, "Bane did you just call me cute?"

"Ya know whatta mean'" he grumbled looking at you, "ain't this no place for ya." His skin crawled at the hurt in your features and the surprise at the comment, she don' know... he realized. He exhaled, "Missy, ya gotten too close to ma, I don' wancha gettin hurt over meh ya can' ghet close to people in dis profession."

"That should be my decision, Bane..." you looked down to see the ramp lowering you stood at the top of it not wanting to crumble, "You hear me, Cad, I love you," your stomach fell at the confession and it took every ounce of strength to hold it together as you walked down, "Just so you know someone in this universe does."

Bane quickly hit the ramp button the moment you were off, he leaned against the wall supporting himself. He allowed himself a few tears instantly regretting it when Todo showed up.

"Mr. Bane you are crying," Todo said worried.

"No kiddin" Bane grumbled pulling himself up by the boot scraps.

"You should go-" Todo started before Bane cut in, "Quit ya yappin, da woman is a risk."

"A risk to your heart maybe," Todo said sourly.

"What was dat?" Bane growled.

"You don't let anyone close anymore, it was obvious how you felt about each other."

Banes fingers found the metal plate on his head, "Lets go, Todo," no one knew him not really or what was going on in his head, left for dead on one of his bad days by so called colleagues. He wanted to spat at the memory of falling and Boba. If they didn't understand him to see what was wrong no one would. Being abandoned by Jango, he didn't want to go through that again but ain't dat what I just did to 'er...? Bane frustratedly kicking the wall, "Dang nabbit," he gridded out at how hard he had kicked it.

"Mr. Bane, I do insist you go fix this," Todo said putting his hands on his hips floating himself to Bane's eye level, "before she gets to far."

"Shut it, droid. 'I know wat I'm do'in."

"I don't think you do if your kicking your precious ship."

Bane growled stalking back off to the cockpit and slumped into the set staring out the window finding you walking away. His eyes trailed you until you were no longer visible as you disappeared deep into the streets. A familiar ache formed in his chest causing his finger to drum against the armrest of the chair, he wanted to take off and continue but he couldn't bring himself to start the ship. Bane had forgotten to shut off the alert for when you got to far from him, it dinged almost causing him to jump. He looked down seeing a bounty rooster with your name on it, drat woman you haven' been gone fora hour, his frozen blood boiled seeing who you were signed up with.

"She don' know 'em," he seethed seeing both Boba's and Bossk's names along with a couple other less noticeable hunters names.

"You did terminate your partnership with her, Mr. Bane," Todo pointed out, "It's only natural she continues with others. However if we retrieve her..."

"Can' care 'bout er," Bane affirmed but didn't make it any easier then he saw Embo's name on the list, "Ya getting ya way this once," he growled getting up heading into the bunk room eyes narrowing on the blaster, "She ain't even armed," he hissed holstering it.

"We will find the annoying mammal," Todo hated having her around causing Bane to split his attention but he seemed more like his old self having her around.

"Betta find her fast before dey leave."

Info fob took you to a run down busted cantina that definitely shouldn't have had their license to operate but it was the perfect out of sight place for Hunters to met up, which you suspected is the only reason the establishment was still open. You didn't know anyone from the list but you easily picked them out in the small crowd clustered in the back and the anxious looking people around them. You slide into booth introducing yourself, all of them glared at you.

"Is there something on my face?" You asked nervously.

"Nothing," the one called Boba's say, "Didn't realize your ball would give you enough chain to be by yourself without him."

"Bane...?" You asked stupidly which got a stupid reply of yes, "We're not a team anymore, he dropped me here and is probably long gone."

Boba hitched an eyebrow, "Is that so?"

"What does he need with a geek like me anyway, he has that droid anyway."

"We should get going, Bossk is going to meet up with us on the ship." All of you got up after Boba following him to the ship dock. You didn't even think twice about it even with Boba's connotation about Bane made it seem like they were less that associates it would be off whatever world this was.

Shuffling into the seat you heard the Trandoshan's breathing and turned around watching him stroll in sniffing, "I recognizess your ssmell but I don't recognizess you."

You rolled your eyes greeting him with your name and your former partner, "Is it really that big of a deal?" you muttered to yourself.

"Only to a select few."

Before you took off you saw it, the Justifier still docked and a blue figure staring straight at you. No one else seemed to noticed him in the distance and the ship took off towards everywhere the assignment was. You hadn't even bothered checking other then it was off planet. You fidgeted in your seat trying to shake the feeling that something was wrong.

"Whatss iss it?" Bossk hissed.

"I feel... like we're being followed... I can't explain it."

"Bane," Boba growled, "Anyone want to say hi?" he said sarcastically before the ship got one single blast.

Your pad started beeping, "Are you farking kidding me?" you grumbled pulling it out staring at it, Ghet back on da ship, now, 'You made me leave,' you replied, "Let's go."

Boba punched it, hitting light speed to get out of there, "What did he want?"

"Me," you mumbled. You pulled your legs up to your chest wrapping your arms around them letting your head slump against the seat. You eyed the room discreetly, feeling dejected but wondering why he didn't want you around them if that was what this was about. Your pad went off again, I'm comin, don' trust'em.

"I take it you don't know?" Boba said.

"Don't know what?"

"Bane was one of my mentors. Absolutely cruel to me; irony because my father was his mentor. One day while we were out on a bounty, Bane didn't care about how we went about it or if we even completed it. Him and I dueled for leadership, he lost and somehow lived."

"Oh..." you had wondered about the metal plate, remembering how every time you asked how belligerent he got especially after a couple drinks. You were very aware of Bane's temper and ruthless but unlike them you understood there had to be a deeper reason, at least there had to be... right? "Well he's coming," you didn't know what else to say. You saw the silent conversation between Bossk and Boba wondering if you were about to catch in the crossfire, "What's the plan?"

"We'll see what he does when we land."

The moment you land hell erupts you and boba barely getting off the ramp finding Bane there guns drawn glaring, "Wan'da little lady, hand'er over," he was staring directly at Boba. If his eyes weren't already crimson they would have been with the rage rolling off of him. His pinky tapped against the butt of the gun waiting, he wanted to look at you but didn't want a distraction in cause this went south.

"We're busy," Boba glared Bossk and Embo following standing behind us, "You're the one who's going to hurt her Bane, not us," Boba added.

"Bessst be leaving," Bossk hissed.

"Gimme the girl an' I'll be gone," he watched fangs bared as Bossk pointed his blaster at your head and it was not on stun, "Don' dink 'bout it."

"Bane..." fear laced your voice as much as you tried to hide it your eyes looking at the blaster then at him, "I don't know what's going on in your head but please, go."

"What ya said gave meh to much to dink'bout, so yer comin with meh," he exhaled calculating how fast he could shoot and drop them before they dropped you realizing his odds were good but not great.

"Cowboy, it's been a great ride... but for me, you have to go," we're you putting his safety over yours? The things people do in the name of love, by the look in his face you no one had ever done that for him.

He snarled looking at them but he backed into the shadows furious at himself for stepping away. He listened for what seemed forever when he heard one blaster shot ring out. Bane seethed fist curling around his pistols even more enraged that he let his emotions get the better of him m. He'd uncharacteristically shown his weakness the one thing he had tried to strengthen Boba against so he wouldn't make the same mistake his father did and they killed you for being his. Bane wanted to turn around, stand his ground and make them pay but the pleading in your voice for him to go kept him walking, He'd face worse odds before but there was a time and place for revenge.

"Mr. Bane?" Todo asked.

"Dey killed her," he said, his voice laced with defeat as he climbed back into the Justifer, alone.

"That sshould buy uss time," Bossk hissed.

"That farking hurt!" You snapped grabbing the wound, Embo already returning with the med kit.

"Had to make it convincing," Boba shrugged, "Complete this bounty, you won't need to worry about needing Bane to make a name for yourself."

"No but I'll have to worry about you sticking your neck out for me, we both know he'll be back with a vengeance," you had a choice, you could earn yourself the respect to work alone or you could keep them from waring each other.

Bane put a leg up on the dash letting the other bounce realizing how much of his life had fallen apart, mentor dead, person he considered a friend turned out to a Jedi in disguise, getting injured, losing a major bounty and now this. He stuck a toothpick between his teeth and set his hat in his lap wondering about the exactly moment everything went wrong.

"Mr. Bane! Look!" Todo said pointing the limping figure towards the ship.

Bane didn't look he put his hat back on and ran to the ramp, "Yer alive," he said dumb founded grabbing your limping form from the bottom of it.

"Don't make me regret un-faking my death," you gridded out the steps up the ramp causing the pain in your leg to make you grunt, "Already regret it," you groaned forcing yourself to sit down the moment you were up the ramp.

"Why'd ya do it?"

"Come back? I didn't want you blaming yourself, the bounty was tempting however," you admitted, "could have made a name for myself," you mumbled.

" 'gain why didn' ya?" Bane poked.

"Don't make me say it again," you groaned standing up finally feeling the patch start to work, "First time was bad enough," because it had, it had hurt to admit the truth. You never had the intention of telling him, happy to just let things be but there was rarely a moment you couldn't read him and standing there dropping you off there was nothing you understood then again trying to get you back the look on his face said he going to go down a war path he couldn't come back from and it would have been your fault if he got killed. You blinked as you felt his arm reach out and curl around you vice gripping you to his lean frame, "Bane?"

"Cad," he grumbled breathing in your scent no longer able to smell the iron over powering it, "just Cad."

You put your arms around him, not once had he ever voluntarily hugged you or hugged back, you felt his chest rumble almost like a pur. Your face nervously smiled not wanting to say anything, he tried to pull away but you pulled him closer listening to it, "I like it, although would be better without these," you said tapping the breathing tubes. He didn't even hesitate removing them dropping them to the floor before returning his arm around you. You seemed to melt closer to him, it sounded more authentic without the metal rattle.

His pulled his arm away, “Leave it,” he said looking down at the breathing piece tugging you by the hand to the cockpit, “Gotta gehet da ship outta here,” he said dropping your hand as he slide into the pilots seat.

Much to Todo’s hovering annoyance you took the copilot seat, “I hope you prematurely take off your patch.”

You rolled your eyes snatching the droid mid air and hugging him, “Careful lil fella, I might give ya an accent like Bane’s and make you sing,” you teased releasing the companion, you chuckling as that instilled the fear of the maker in him because he knew how good and fast you could reprogram him.

“Mr. Bane you’re not going to let her… right?!”

The Duros chuckled, “Maybeh.”

“I’m going to go lay down,” you yawned forgetting how draining the patches were. It didn’t take long before you heard foot steps behind you, stalking your movement to the bunk room.

“Don’ dink bout hopin up there,” he voiced watching you look up, “ ‘mer,” he said taking off his hat resting it on a post and climbed into the bunk. He watched you stare at him, “ ‘Mer, ain’t gonna bite ya,” he watched you climb in and he wrapped himself around you practically half laying on you. Life had broken him down, but thinking you were dead had destroyed him albeit temporarily. He felt your arm wrap around him feeling nails lightly in his back not lustful but in need of his solidarity. Bane’s lip twitched as that infernal purring started again.

“What do have you have to think about?”

“Ya really didn’ know how I feel?” He whispered.

It was weird seeing the bounty hunter who astutes confidence and authority in every moment seem so.. just human, “No. I never expected to see you again either.” The purring stopped replaced with a momentary growl, “Bane?” You said tilting your head to him, “What is it?” He was silent. “Cad?”

“Da feelin’ mutual,” he felt compelled to say after hearing his name on your lips. The purring started and he heard you make a small happy hmm noise. He didn’t need to say it, you both knew what he meant. “When it’s meh and you, it’s Cad.”

“Cad,” the name rolled off your tongue like expensive spotchka, “Only I get to call you?” he nodded. Your hand roamed his head gently and the other light stroked his back, “I don’t regret it anymore,” you teased, “so cowboy, what’s next?”

“For ya missy? Go ta’bed, wanna enjoy dis,” he said exhaling enjoying the scent of you and feel of you finally touching him, “Maybeh we go ta’beh,” he mumbled feeling heavier and suddenly tired.

“Let’s go to bed… Cad,” you smiled turning a little more into the blue space cowboy’s embrace hearing the pur slowly stop as both of you fell asleep.

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