#idk why i’m surprised the person i saw it from can’t be fuckin normal about women or their relationships (like. derogatory can’t be normal)

[blackbat09]

i am once again wishing every “gem and impulse are father-daughter coded” mf a very Explode.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #455

“but you didn’t have to cut me off  /  make it like it never happened and that we were nothing”

Are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship or just friends? We're besties! :') Has anyone ever pointed out that your laugh was unusual? No. Would you get a lip piercing? I already have a vertical labret. I've considered getting spiked snakebites (they might be called devil bites?) too, though. With a vertical labret, it looks sick as FUCK. It might be a bit much too close together for me, though, idk. Nose piercing? I want my right nostril re-pierced. What are you currently waiting for? Girt to message me back. I've decided what I want out of our relationship and just want to see him. Do you have feelings for anyone? Hit me pretty hard through a lot of examination of my feelings that yeah, I do. Have you ever run over an animal? Oh my god no, I would be DESTROYED. Have you chewed gum after someone else already has? bro what the fuck When people sneeze do you say ‘bless you’? I do only out of expectation. I don't want someone to think I'm an ass or something for not saying it. When was the last time you were on a bouncy castle? A few years ago for my niece's birthday. She was scared of how loud it was and was very reluctant to get near it, so my fat ass got in there with everyone else to show her it was fine lol. I can't remember if she eventually got in. She loves them now, though. :') Have you ever went on a bouncy castle whilst drunk? No, but thanks for the idea, ha ha. Have you ever entered an art competition? Yes. What is one thing you will never do? Try hardcore drugs. What is one food that you detest? Asparagus. Did you have a rebellious phase growing up? Not really. What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic. Are you still that religion? GOD NO. Do you often find yourself questioning your future? That's my full-time job. How many friends do you have on Facebook? 124. What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? The same I listen to now. What pet names do you use with your significant other? I'm single rn, but usually, I go for "sweetie/sweetheart," "hunny," "love," "dear," stuff like that. What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries? Wal-Mart. Have you ever seen a theatre show? Yes. What’s your favourite vegetable? Broccoli. Have you ever missed a flight? Yes. I was SO fuckin upset because it was on Sara's birthday and planned in secret, and I was supposed to wake her up. It still wound up being a big surprise to her when she walked into her room and I was chillin' at her desk, ha ha, but I still wish it coulda gone as originally planned. Do your neighbours have any pets? Have you ever met them? Yes; they have a yappy-ass dog that doesn't shut up. I haven't met them. What color is your bedroom door? White. If you were ever to become famous, would you grow annoyed at fans? This may sound very ungrateful, but I have heard A LOT of celebrities say it: it would get old, being stopped constantly in public for signatures, pictures, etc. Like yes, I still WOULD be grateful, but I'd miss just being off the radar and able to go outside carrying out chores and stuff like a normal person. Have you ever met your favourite band/singer? No. :( Are you embarrassed by any of the songs/singers/bands you like? Nah, not nowadays. Have you ever written a story? Yes, a kinda short one when I was little. Think of the last poem you wrote: What inspired you to write it? The breakup with Jason and the fact we're just strangers again. It was really short, but I like it a lot, honestly. Do you have a chance with the person you like right now? I think so. What’s the weirdest thing you were scared of as a child? A skeleton in my closet, lol. Literally. Are there any embarrassing stories your family tells about you? alkdsjflakjwle yes In your opinion, what is the funniest TV show? That '70s Show. 3rd Rock From the Sun is high up there, too. What is the maximum number of children you’d ever have? HYPOTHETICALLY, two, but I'm pretty damn serious about having none. I just always feel kinda bad for children without a sibling, but three would make me pull my hair out. Have you ever been concerned you had a serious illness? Yes. I overreact to even minor symptoms to ANYTHING. Are you comfortable with who you are? No. Pretty much everything about myself embarrasses me, even if it shouldn't. Would you date someone even if you knew you’d get made fun of for it? Yes? Others' opinions don't affect how I feel about someone. Does popularity matter to you at all? No, outside of trying to be a successful photographer. Would you ever consider homeschooling your children? If they really wanted that and it would benefit them, yes. Who told you about the band/singer you are currently listening to? I discovered them myself. Do you ever read fanfiction? Nah. Would you rather die in a plane crash, ship wreck or fire? Jesus. A plane crash, I guess, because in a lot of cases, it would be an immediate death. What are your top five favourite TV shows? Meerkat Manor, Fullmetal Alchemist (and Brotherhood; shut up, they go together), That '70s Show, Ginga Densetsu Weed, and Deadman Wonderland. What is your favorite superhero movie? Logan. If you died next week, what would be the cause of death? Uhhhh idk... I guess maybe a heart attack? Judging by doctor appointments, my heart is just fine, but the fact still remains that I'm technically obese, so that's always a risk. Have you ever taken a break from Facebook or other social media? Why? Facebook, yes. It was just depressing me. I was playing the comparison game REAL hard. Who is the most talented person you know? I dunno. I know many people talented in a lot of areas. Are you currently platonic friends with anyone you’ve had sex with? No. Where did you and your current interest go on your first date? Bowling. Have you ever experienced two people fighting over you (physically or mentally)? What happened? Jason and Juan pursued me at the same time. They'd known each other in the past, and Juan hated him for "winning" his ex-girlfriend. Then when Jason and I got together, Juan wasn't the happiest for sure. Have your parents ever thought you were gay? What happened? Before I actually came out as bisexual, I don't think so? Are your parents more liberal or conservative? Conservative. Mom is more open, but still conservative. I think. What year are you going into at the beginning of the next academic year? I'm not in school. How far away does your closest family member live? I live with Mom. If you’ve seen both, did you prefer the Disney version or the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland? I actually strongly prefer Tim Burton's. Would you have sex before marriage? Why or why not? Yeah. I just want to be in a long-term, serious, healthy relationship to reach that point and be as safe as possible about it. Are you more liberal or conservative? Liberal, but I do have some conservative beliefs, too. Who is your favorite Harry Potter character? I don't have one, given I never got into that franchise. What’s the worst that could come out of letting gays marry? Not a goddamn thing. What’s the most sexual thing you’ve done? Done "the thing." Name something that you are against. I'll go with an unconventional one that's a problem as of the late: making owning reptiles illegal. Why are you against it? Because reptiles are perfectly capable of being brilliant pets and, most importantly, can tame people's fears of them. I think that it's very important to see the worth and beauty in all animals, and reptiles are one of the most unappreciated families out there. :/ Have you ever played the Tomb Raider games? I played some of either the first or second one. I could never beat it. Old games are hard, man. Do you like it or hate it when your partner is clingy? I absolutely believe that it can get to an extreme that I don't like, but for the most part, I don't mind a clingy partner because hey, I am too. Beatles or Rolling Stones? Stonessss. When was the last time you changed your opinion on somebody? It'd been on my mind for a while, but I *officially* realized that I really do like-like Girt a couple days ago. And since then it's gotten a bit hardcore and all I wanna do is talk to him bc fuck me and how attached to people I get. What was the last thing that made you feel proud and why? Every single time I go to the gym, I feel proud of myself because it REALLY takes a lot out of me. Do you feel uncomfortable when people you hardly know confide in you? Nope. I'm willing to be a shoulder to cry on for like... anyone. If you're hurting, talk to someone. I'll be there as an easy option. What was the last thing to fascinate you? It was... INCREDIBLY disturbing and almost nauseating even for me, but I saw a video of a dead whale explode. It was GRUESOME. Guts just kept coming and coming and coming and :x Is there a certain noise/sound which scares you? Hmmm... I'm sure there is, but what, it's not coming to me. Sudden, loud noises are an obvious answer. Do you have a favourite microorganism? ... No, I can't say I do. Out of the people you know, whose birthday is next? Girt's, actually. It's in October. If you have pet fish do you bother to name them? I did when I actually had them as a kid. Do you keep your eggs in the fridge? Ye. Have you ever owned chickens? No, but that'd be cool. Fresh eggs from a properly cared for chicken taste SO much better. When did you last listen to music? Currently. NOW I'm obsessed with Melodicka Bros & Violet Orlandi's cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know." It's done in a gothic metal style and is amaaaazing.

[knives-out20]

TiO - Bobby & The Buddies

Fandom: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019)

Pairing: Bobby Brightside (OC) x Cliff Booth, StarBeep, DeepSpace,

Warnings: This is normal procedure now, Swearing, Faggotry, Gay shit idk, Homosexual tendencies, Another weird dark joke,

Notes: a ha ha...enjoy. Song used is TiO by Zayn. Dolly is an OC that belongs to my buddy, Dio.

Dedicated To: @mori-ohs​

Bobby practically put his lips against his mic, crooning into it. “I can taste it on your mouth, and I can’t leave it. You’re a freak like me- can’t you see? We can work this something out, and I’m believin’...You get off on me, it’s like cheating” he shrugged, pulling away to let Deep take control of the song he mainly wrote himself- Bobby helped with the sound of it, but the lyrics were all him.

“I, I, I, I just want to watch you when you take it off” Deep purred, eyes falling softly closed. His fingers strummed against his guitar as he saw fit, just like how he planned. “Take off all your makeup, baby, take it off-”

Bobby and Beep caught each other glanced over at Ace. “You know?” Bobby mouthed to him.

“You do too?” Beep mouthed back.

“Did I not yell ‘hypocrite’ the other day?”

“Take off all your clothes, and watch you take it off~”

“Fair” Beep mouthed, shrugging.

Bobby, Deep, and Beep sang “take if off, take it off, baby, just take it off” twice, Deep controlling the next verse.

“Push me up against the wall, don’t take it easy” Deep grabbed his mic stand, shaking his head. “You like it hard like me...it’s what you need” he scoffed, smirk just about noticeable.

“Nice song?” Peep asked, appearing by Ace.

“Let’s get naked and explore, our inner secrets. For what it is,”

Ace crossed his arms, looking down at him. “Surprising coming from you- doesn’t your brother singing like that make you uncomfortable?”

“It’s what it is.”

“I mean, duh” Peep playfully rolled his eyes. “But, you gotta suck it up. You’re in a band with family, can’t get in the way of the fact that you’re in a band, full stop.”

Ace nodded in agreement.

Peep looked up at him, wondering if he truly was unaware that the song’s main element was the fact that Deep wrote it about him.

Deep repeated the chorus, Damien taking on the next line.

AKA, “Take it off, take it off, baby just take it off.”

Bobby carried on with “take it off, take it off, just-”

“Take it off, take it off, baby just take it off- take it off, baby just take it off” Deep sang, a hint of genuine pleading in his voice. His eyes were still closed, who knows what was happening behind his eyelids?

“Ow!” Bobby exclaimed, the Buddies giggling all around him.

“He always do that?” Gene asked, appearing beside Peep.

Peep jumped, holding Ace’s arm as if he was gonna protect her.

Ace grinned.

“Uh- yea. Either to make us laugh, or if it’s part of a- of a suggestive song- like this one. It’s kinda his thing, y’know?”

Gene looked her up and down, nodding and walking off.

“God.” Peep sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, Ace.”

“No worries, Peep” Ace pat her head.

Deep straightened out his fingers, trailing them slowly up his microphone stand in a suggestive manner. “I just can’t wait, to see it all- I’m so turned on.”

“And it’s all mine” Bobby purred.

“I just can’t wait, to see it all- I’m so turned on” Deep riffed ‘on’, Peep, Bobby, and Beep catching Ace’s impressed expression from behind his excessive makeup. 

Deep delivered the final chorus, the other men of the Buddies taking on vocalizations, echoes, and backing vocals. He panted silently when he finished, hearing Frankie tap his drumstick together in applaud.

Ace joined in, with actual applaud. “Sick shit, Deep!” He called.

Deep chuckled, turning to look over his shoulder. “Ah, thanks” he nodded, the attention from the others slowly leaking off of him and onto other things. “Hey, Ace, wanna hear something?”

“You know it” Ace grinned, pointing at Deep with both pointer fingers. He walked towards Deep, towering over the man because of his platformed boots.

“I went to the store to buy some condoms. When I went to the checkout, the lady asked me, do I need a paper bag? I said ‘no, I’ll just turn out the lights.’“

Ace exploded in hyena-like laughter, some of the Buddies laughing along because they overheard. He doubled over, grabbing Deep’s shoulder to help him keep steady.

Deep looked at Ace’s hand on his shoulder, blushing lightly. Slowly, he put his hand over Ace’s to ‘keep it from slipping’, if he were to get asked why. 

Ace put his other hand on Deep’s other shoulder, pushing on them to help him stand back up. “Wow, man- wow,” he panted, dumbed down to a fit of giggles. “You ‘n’ your siblings really know your shit, huh? Joke-making and lyric-writing...what more could anyone want?”

Deep got his hopes up with that, eyes going slightly wide. “Wow, I mean- I dunno. Charisma? Looks? Good in the sack?”

Ace shrugged. “If you can make someone laugh, there’s a chance that’ll be all you need.”

Deep felt his hopes reach as high up as the heavens. “Y’think so?”

“I know so. Hey, you should tell that to your brother. He tryin’ so hard to get to Starchild? Crack a joke or two, funny is sexy.”

Deep nodded obediently, “yea, sure, I’ll tell ‘im.”

“Good boy” Ace purred, patting Deep’s head and walking away.

Deep watched, same as always. Blue eyes trailing from the broad shoulders of Ace’s silly spaceman outfit, to dangerously loitering around his narrow waist.

“Snap out of it” Maria scoffed, shoving Deep.

Deep rolled his eyes. He turned around, seeing Beep talking to Starchild a way’s away from the stage.

“How’s your lil’ crushy-dushy going?” Bobby giggled, chin on Deep’s shoulder.

“‘Crushy-dushy’?”

 Bobby platonically kissed Deep’s cheek. “Uh-huh, and ‘crushy-bushy’ for Beep. I need a name as stupid as the idea that you two fell for a couple of our employers. Why can’t you be more like your sister-”

“Like I haven’t heard that enough in my life-”

“Shut up,” Bobby snickered, dragging out the ‘u’ in ‘up’. “Anyways, Derek, why can’t Benji and you be more like her, and simply be scared shitless of Gene, leaving him for Dolly to take care of?”

Deep scoffed. “Rats, my bad for falling for people using the feelings I can’t fuckin’ control. Whatever shall I do?” He dramatically apologized.

Bobby kissed his teeth, playing with the tassels on his jacket. “Steal a pair of my gogo boots-”

“You have more than one?”

“You don’t?” Bobby jokingly shot back.��“Steal a pair and be closer to Ace’s height. Simple.”

“Then what?”

“Well, start playin’ this new single and start feelin’ and touchin’ and kissin’ and-”

“Okay, okay, I don’t need to hear what a usual night between you and Cliff is like” Deep teased.

“Oh, fuck you.”

“No thank you.”

“I’d shove you but clearly, I’m not the one you want pushing you against walls, eh?”

“...Touche.”

“Push me up against the wall” Bobby crooned as he turned around, smiling as he watched Ace talk to Peter. “Ace’s my favourite, but don’t tell the others that I said that. You made a good choice. Now you just gotta catch it.”

“I know that.”

Bobby turned Deep to face him. “I believe in ya, Deep. Honestly. I believe in you ‘n’ Beep almost as much as I believe in Cliff ‘n’ me. Cliff ‘n’ me, we’re eternal. I believe in us more than anyone and anything in the universe. You understand, don’t cha?”

Deep nodded. “Yea, I do. Each time I see that ring he got for ya, I do.”

Bobby waved his left hand in front of Deep’s face, remembering their first conversation about it.

Bobby hopped into the the seat behind the passenger seat of Frankie’s car. ”Onward, ho!” He exclaimed, his buddies hollering along as they drove down the street. ”What’s on the plate today, prostitutes?”

Penelope, aka Peep, leaned back in the passenger seat. ”We’re hitting the roads today, doing whatever in between, and ending it off on some good ol’ cliff jumping. Kapeesh?”

Bobby nodded obediently. ”Vague, exciting. Very fresh.” He counted heads, “where’s Maria?”

Benji, aka Beep, sucked his teeth. ”On a date. Some guy named, uh, Jim? James? Heck if I know” he shrugged.

Derek, aka Deep, sat between Beep and Bobby. ”Speaking of dates, I heard someone finally tamed the wild and chaotic Bobby D. Brightside~” he teased, nudging Bobby.

“No, no, no. Someone finally tamed Cliff goddamn Booth, that’s the feat” Beep corrected. ”The dude’s a unit, and you’re telling me he popped a nice ‘n’ shiny ring for for a scrawny motherfucker from Baltimore?”

Bobby smiled sweetly, blushing at the mere thought of Cliff..

“Aw, rats- we lost Bobby. Hey! Earth to Bobby!” Deep called, nudging him.

“Eh?”

“You were gone for a second. Got a Cliff-induced smile.”

“That happens, y’know that. You got an Ace-induced grin yourself. Like how Beep’s got a Starchild-smile.”

“Well...You’re right, but Jesus, you didn’t have to say it.”

Bobby laughed. “I know y’both mean well, I do. Just...tread lightly, alright? Love in the world of rock ‘n’ roll can prove to be dangerous at times, no matter the people involved” he sucked his teeth. “And trust me, people can do some...weird shit, for love” Bobby winced. “I happen know from experience” he added, remembering the adrenaline rush he got from the night he strangled Billie Booth, in that fateful alleyway, on the fateful night that he got away with her murder.

And to this day, not a single person knows he killed her. No one. Not Cliff, Rick, the Buddies, KISS, MJ, Dolly, Soup, Emil, Floyd, Bruce, no one. And it’s gonna stay that way.

“Don’t- Don’t fall into that weird, scary pit. Okay? Same goes for Beep” Bobby asked, pointing over at Beep and waving at him.

Deep arched a brow, but decided not to ask any questions. 

Bobby hasn’t been very secretive about his past, so anything he hasn’t told the Buddies, Deep assumed it must be something too personal.

Deep understands that. He nodded. “Got it, Bobster.”

Bobby smiled, patting Deep’s cheek. “Atta boy, Deep.”

[haechanfairie]

yukhei pet store au

hi!! i wrote this as a birthday present for @yukheart and decided to share it on here! anyways enjoy :)

so every day one time u have a rough day right

it's like 2 pm in the afternoon and ur in ur car and ur crying and a spotify ad is playing and u are Not having a good time (this is highly specific but bear with me)

so you sorta like,, stop by like a pet store bc u love??? animals??? so of course they'll cheer u up

at least u hope they will

and so u walk in and it kinda smells like wet dog but ur kinda living for it

and its like, a Big store, and ur just tryna find the dogs right

it's like an Ikea like at some point you sorta drift around

until you bump into this dude who looks like he's having the time of his life

and u take one look at him and ur like,, oh boy,, that's a cute boy,, very tall boy,, hansom boy,,,,nice looking,, dude ohohh,,, boy

he takes one look at u and he's like

“hey buddy u good??”

and u sorta just,, grimace

and u ask him where the dogs are and he immediately is like “oop b i got u” and grabs ur wrist

he's got like…. really big hands?? and long fingers and ur sorta just in a daze bc a cute boy??? taking you?????? to see dogs???????? is this a dream?????

and he's going with a Quickness too and ur tryna keep up but he's too fast (somebody get his beautiful long bodied ass to the olympics bc ya boy got S p e e d)

anyways after y'all take like 5 sharp corners and 3 slides into aisles you finally get to the dog adoption area

and its a cute little pen with like dogs running everywhere being herded by some of the workers

and y'all finally stop to fuckin b r e a t h e thank goodness

and you look at him and u finally realize how much of a fuckin adonis ya boy really is

like he tall,, but his body his fully proportioned

he got shoulders that span as wide as the grand canyon,, and they're big and muscular and bursting from his pastel pink uniform polo

and the polo stretches across his back u can can literally s e e his back muscles move when he does its wild

and his ears are so cute what the fuck

he got like,,, really long fingers bruh… they still wrapped around ur wrist and ur like,,,,,,,, sweating hella

and his legs!!!!! go on!!!!! for fuckin miles!!!!!! and they t h i c k too and honestly ur getting tired of his beautiful self

don't even get me started on his smile djsbzjxjxjz it's so pretty

wow it's getting pretty warm in here anYwAys

you look out and all u can see,, are dogs

big dogs, little dogs, fluffy ones, smooth ones, and you're so like,,, really Happy about it

and you look back up at this dude who's looking back at you with the sweetest grin you've ever seen and ur heart is really warm

also u finally read his nametag lmao and u learn that his name is yukhei!! ur like,,, wow what a beautiful name,, for a beautiful dude,,,,,,,,,,

and while ur thinking all this mushy shit homeboy deadass just yeets himself over this pen’s fence

and ur like,, lmao what the fuck

and you watch as he opens the fence and the minute ur in the dogs sense ur presence and its over for you then and there

bc a bunch of dogs start running in ur general direction

but in particular, this one husky makes a beeline for yukhei and this other corgi makes a beeline for u bc its curious

and the corgi is the most adorable thing after and its trying it's best to keep up with the husky but the husky has no fuckin time to wait for a n y o n e only for yukhei big mood

and so the husky basically jumps into yukhei’s arms and yukhei??? doesn't??? topple over????? fuck kinda s t r e n g t h??

and the corgi finally makes it to u and ur like “:(( i lov u” and ur both having the time of ur lives

and yukhei starts walking you around introducing you to the dogs and the husky stays by his side the entire time sjdbsjadmfjdkj

u learn the husky’s name is gregory, which is weird, and the corgi’s name is lil taki,, which is also weird

and yukhei is all like “this German Shepard here is named teacup and this terrier here is named saint louis, and this one here is-” like he knows,,, all the names

and all his coworkers are like “yukhei?? and some person who looks like they've been through too much today?? looking at dogs as they follow them all around?? seems legit”

and like, yukhei is magical with these dogs like some random dog will paw at his leg and he'll be like “ah yes chester needs his daily brushing give me like,, 2 seconds-”

he really loves these dogs okay sjdhfjskdkgj

and you?? are having such a good time

lil taki is adorable and if ur apartment allowed dogs you'd definitely try and get him

you lose track of time and like,, realize that it's 7 pm sjdhdjss u spent 5 very well spent hours looking at dogs with a really fuckin hot cute guy and u can't say you regret it

and the whole time he was gushing about these dogs and being cute and everything

so when you have to leave his face drops for a moment before asking hopefully with a soft pink blush “hey u gonna come back??”

and ur like “fuckin,, definitely dude”

and so start to come back every other saturday for like,, two hours

and ur friends are like “??? why ???” and ur like “ :^)))))) ”

and then at some point you just start coming every week

and you and yukhei bond over a lot of stuff

he gets ur digits and sends u pics of the dogs when he can

he also updates u on lil taki daily

he opens up to you about why he likes animals so much and u learn that he’s studying to be a vet

and every time he uncovers something and about himself to you he gets all weird and blushy and ur like :( cutie pie with big fucking hands and long ass fuckin fingers    f  u  c  k

like he tells you about that one time his friend jungwoo slipped on ice then pulled his ass down tryna get back up and they ended up falling down a hill rip

or that time he got acrylic nails on a dare and honestly?? he both hated it and loved it (bc when he was roasting mark and he was moving his hands this way and that?? they were killing it) but he took it off after a day only bc he couldn’t type on his phone all that well jshdjsjdmv

like at some point you just start leaving together when his shift ends (which is at like 8 pm) too like y'all are Besties at this point

and all his coworkers are like “;^) !!” and ur like “???”

and sometimes he takes u out to eat like 5 things of large fries together at mcdonald's and y'all have a good time

he's always smiling at you :((

he feeds you fries sometimes and he's a l w a y s blushing and smiling and ur like ,, pls stop

sometimes y'all walk in the park and/or get ice cream

and at some point y'all get to platonic (lmao not really) hand holding

and he's like fuck it imma flirt

but u think?? it's it's a joke??????????

and they're all like lame pick up lines bc he's lame but really cute okay and ur like “akekekeke” and he's like “haha i'm serious :)”

like every time he sees u he's like “are you a volcano???? bc i lava you :DDD”

or like “do you smoke pot?? bc weed be cute together!!!!! :DDDDD”

like stupid lame pick up lines but they still make ur heart skip a beat

and he always complains to jungwoo,, a fellow coworker on his break bc he's like “they don't like me :’(”

and jungwoo's like “bitch,,,,, just tell them straight up and also leave me alone bc pretzel the parakeet is on my ass for feeding him some new shit and he's not having it okay i'm tryna figure this out dude”

and lucas is like “:( ”

and jungwoo sighs and is like “just confess to them like,, idk ,, a normal person? get them flowers??? chocolate?? anything they likes????????”

and lucas is like “ :D ”

and so after A Lot of brainstorming he figures something out

and he's like “hey buddy,,, :) let's go to mcdonald's” and ur like “lit okay”

and so after y'all get there he orders like 10 large fries and ur like “?? what the occasion” and he just grins and ur blinded lmao bc Wow

and so you sit down at a table and he stands to receive ur order

and then he hands u this letter and he's kinda shy about it

and ur still like ????

but you take it

and basically the entire thing is him waxing poetry about how much he likes u and ur like “haha w h a t”

like he starts it with “are you a camera?? bc every time i look at u all i do is smile” and ur like :’( my heart

he mixes a bunch of pick up lines into it

and he ends it with “roses are red, my face is too, and that only happens when i’m around you” and ur like :’’’’’’)

and while you read this letter ya boy sitting across from you stuffing his face with fries bc he's so nervous

when u finish the letter u realize that he's already eaten like three boxes and u cackle

and his face falls bc he thinks ur laughing at his letter (as if you ever would)

but then u lean over and kiss his cheek and he's like !!!! :’D !!!!

and basically y'all hold hands and are a mushy couple eating fries in a mcdonald's and smiling all cute and shit like wow my heart

and he walks u home!! and give u a kiss on the forehead :(( it's so soft

or instead of the mcdonald's scene

when his shift ends, he's like “i got a surprise for u buddy :)” and ur like that ominous but go off ig

but then u see lil taki running towards u and ur face lights up like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and you pick him up bc even tho u saw him like 20 minutes ago ur still like “my child”

but he's got?? something tied to his collar??

and you find that it's a letter

and you sorta let lil taki go, who rund to yukhei

and u read it

and yukhei is a nervous mess and lil taki is pawing at him like “pet me b”

and when u finish reading it u smile really big and ur like “i like you too!!”

and he's like “oh thank god”

and u go to hug him and he kisses u on the cheek and u like :’( babe

and he hugs u and its sweet

and then lil taki starts barking bc he's like “pay!!! attention!!! to!!! me!!!!!!” and y'all pet him for a while before putting him to sleep

and he walks you home!! and he holds ur hand with his big ass hands and ur both just so,,, so soft   :’)

and when jungwoo finds out he's like “!!!! uwu !!!! good job yukhei u finally got ur shit together” and then proceeds to expose lucas for all the times he'd talk about you to everyone else lmao

okay i'm done sjdbdjabxn

[lil-meow-aethetics]

sorry, love (fionn x fem!reader)

so I recently saw Dunkirk and freakin’ FELL IN LOVE with Fionn, had to do this. It might turn into a series… IDK :D

Warning- Drinking, language, mentions of rape, smut

Summary- After finding you wasted and about to be assaulted in a bar, Fionn takes you home. You two get in a fight the next morning, and it ends smokin’ hawt. Like, they have a great argument XD (jk there’s some smut)

—–

Fionn put his earbuds in. He had just gotten back from the Dunkirk press tour, and was anxious to get home. Home to Y/N. He hated interviews. Hated fans randomly popping up on the street. Hated people trying to stalk him on the web, take pictures of him- it was exhausting. He wouldn’t kill anything if it happened, but he certainly wouldn’t be the happiest man in the world. He wasn’t used to it, though this is the path he chose. He just wanted to go home and watch a good movie with Y/N.

Y/N was an American director he met while doing a workshop with her on Hamlet a while back. He was instantly captured by her personality, it isn’t every day your director gets on stage and recites a Shakespearean monologue by heart beautifully before humbly stepping down and coaching him. He asked her out for a coffee or two to “look at scripts” and the rest was history. Fionn was really surprised when he found out Y/N was a lawyer and directed on the side. He couldn’t belive he found a funny, intellegent, and all-around great girl that was so bloody talented.

Fionn and Y/N had two flats, one in London close to his work and home, and one in New York close to hers. She had dropped by to spend time with him during the small two-week window they had before he started auditions again and she went back to work in New York. Fionn was even hoping his agent would let him audition in New York so he could stay with Y/N. Their flat in London was in one of the nicer areas of London. They loved to ask the taxi to stop a block, or even a mile, away so they could walk hand in hand down the street towards their home. The only rough spot was a pub about half a block and a corner away. Since Fionn is pretty tall, they’re able to get by without a hassle. Neither of them really drank regularly, they just had better ideas for Friday nights.

That’s why Fionn was so surprised he to see Y/N, slung over the shoulder of a pretty big guy with tatoos all over who was heading to the ally.

At first, he didn’t recognize her. Just another thug going to take advantage of a drunk. However, curiosity took ahold of him and he watched the man throw her down in the ally. The girl groaned and swatted the hair away from her face, giving him a glimpse of his girlfriend.

“You’re pretty drunk, ain’t ya, luv?” The man unbuckled his belt. “Bet you won’t even remember this tomorrow mornin’”

Y/N groaned and her head fell back. Her make-up was running down her face, and she looked terrible. As the man ran his hands up and down her, she flinched and tried moving away, but she ended up falling.

“Hey mate,” Fionn called without a thought.

“Huh?” The man turned around. “You want in? There’s plenty of her to go around.”

“Yeah. ‘Bout that,” Fionn pulled out the Swiss Army knife from his backpack Y/N had gotten him before he left to film Dunkirk.

“I’m not playing a Swiss, love,” he had said, smiling while he took it out of the package.

She shrugged. “They’re useful. Saw it online and it reminded me of Dunkirk or whatever.”

Fionn didn’t like threatening people, but his girlfriend was about to get raped. He felt like this was an exception, even if she was bloody drunk.

He casually walked up, knife enclosed in his hand. “Normally,” he said. “I would ignore this blatently disgusting offer and walk away.

“However,” the knife came out of his hand and pointed it at the man inconspicuously so the crowd on the sidewalk didn’t see it faster than he could’ve imagined was possible. “I’m ‘fraid you have my girl. So if you ‘scuse me,” Fionn walked to Y/N and started helping her up, all while keeping the knife pointed. “It’d be best if I get going.”

Fionn smoothly slid the knife back,into his bag and helped the stumbling Y/N back home to their flat. She was tripping and speechless, which was unusual. A drunk Y/N normally wouldn’t be able to shut up, especially not around him. This was the first time Y/N had gotten drunk outside of home. She was always so embarrassed by her drunk conversations that she would happily down a bottle, but only in security of their flat. Fionn just couldn’t believe she could be so irresponsible. Before they went to go meet his mates at the bar, Fionn made Y/N figure out her limit two nights before. She knew when to stop. They both did. He just couldn’t believe she almost got raped in a back ally.

Fionn leaned Y/N against the wall next to their door and threw his bags and backpack in the door before helping her in. She stumbled in, wristlet falling off her wrist before she fell on the bed, chest rising and falling from sleep. Fionn was annoyed, and honestly didn’t want to be around Y/N or he might take this whole situation too far. If anyone had a good explanation for this, it would be Y/N.

She hadn’t buttoned her wristlet shut, and her phone was lying on the floor a few feet away from it. He picked both up and his finger accidently hit the home button. They had put their fingerprints one each others phone not long after going steady. He turned it off and walked into their room to charge it when he did a double take. He unlocked the phone again and saw 52 calls to someone named [your best guy friend]. 52 calls. She doesn’t even call him that often. Was she seeing Y/B/G/F behind your back? Did he break it off with her? That would explain the drinking.

Almost like she was on cue, Y/N shifted in her sleep and muttered Y/B/G/F/N.

Fionn felt- he felt weird. He couldn’t imagine a reason for her to cheat on him, but he couldn’t find a reason for her not to. He tried grabbing a book, but thoughts circled his head until he fell asleep

—–

“Shit.”

Y/N woke up on the couch. She stared blankly at her still shoed feet until the memories of that night hit. She couldn’t believe she was such an ass to Fionn last night. From the call to the assignment to the news, she was so stressed the day before and bought herself a light drink. After four drinks she remembered a guy hitting her up and taking her outside the pub. After that she could vaguely remember Fionn helping her up and back to their apartment. She couldn’t believe she forgot Fionn was coming back yesterday. She was excited for him to come back for weeks, once the day came, it just slipped her mind.

Y/N quietly snuck into the room to Fionn sleeping soundly in their bed, book on his chest. She took a quick shower and threw on an old t-shirt, a pair of shorts, and one of Fionn’s sweatshirts since it was cold out. When she walked back in the bedroom, Fionn was gone, book resting on the bed. Y/N took a breath and walked out into the kitchen/dining/Britain’s everything room. He was there, sipping a coffee and writing something in his notebook, probably song lyrics or something.

Y/N tiptoed over to the kitchen and slowly opened the cupboard, trying to avoid the inevitable conversation woth Fionn. Sadly, Y/N isn’t the stealthiest, and the sound of the mug against the counter diverted his attention to her.

“Mornin’,” he looked back down and scribbled more.

Usually, he would end all greetings with “love”, but she couldn’t blame him for not doing so this morning. She quickly threw together a tea and sat across from him.

“Hi,” she said awkwardly, sweatshirt covering her hands as she raised the mug. “Um- thanks for last night. I- I can’t really express wha-”

“Sure you can’t,” he said, not meeting her eyes.

“Um,” Y/N was shocked. Fionn wasn’t exactly a morning person, but he never responded to anything like this. “Fionn, are you okay? You didn’t have to really wake up early, I mean, it is 4 pm, but we don’t have anythin-”

“Yeah, yeah Y/N. Get to the bloody point.”

Fionn slammed his pen down on his journal and closed it before standing up, hands face down on the table, brown eyes burning.

Y/N set her mug down and stood up so her head was above his.

“Fionn, I don’t know why you’re being so difficult, but you at least need to give me some context-”

“Context,” he stood straight, now several inches above Y/N. “Yeah, ye want some context, don’t ya? Huh? Gonna give me the “law’s eye” to get me to confess somethin’ aren’t yeh? Gonna get me to confess to seein’ someone behind yer back? Gonna get ME to confess to what YOU’VE BEEN FUCKIN’ DOING Y/N?“

Y/N stared at Fionn in shock. He’s never exploded like this before. Sure, they’ve fought, but they always ended with a kiss and embrace.

“Wha- How the hell did you eve-”

“Oh,” he scoffed and looked to the side before locking eyes with me again. “You need that context now, don’t you? Well,”

Fionn walked over to their room and unplugged her phone. Y/N followed, trying to match his stride.

“You see this? Yea? That’s your phone. Now, if you recall, we exchanged fingerprints and passwords after goin’ steady. Remember that? Now, I’m just going to put my thumb here and what do I see? My girlfriend has tried to call this- this guy 52 times before getting drunk at a pub. What? Don’t act innocent like that. Upset that ye- yer side guy broke up with ya, huh? I’m not enough?”

Y/N was covering her mouth and holding back sobs. Tears streamed down her face and she was shaking. He has never exploded like this, never hurt her so much like this before. How could he keep slamming her down like this with no room to take a breath?

“Damn,” he said, walking up to her, locking her between him and the wall. “You’re more upset ‘bout this than when your hamster died. I thought that was all you cried about was death? Well, it’ll definitely be the death of this realtionshup if you don’t spin a convincing enough story. Why are you wearing my fuckin’ sweatshirt, huh? That’s only for couples- healthy couples. Couples that don’t see other people-”

“STOP,” Y/N shouted above Fionn’s ramblings. “Shut up for three seconds will you? You think you know EVERYTHING. Guess what? You don’t. You don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know what is wrong with you, but you need to stop all this-this”

Fionn’s eyes were still ablaze as he opened his mouth before clenching his jaw again, hands shaking by his sides.

“I told you I got assigned to a case yesterday. It was a drunk dricing case, drunk driver crashed and killed a family, youngest daughter at three years old in a coma. Guess what? I got assigned to defense.”

“Why didn’t you jus-”

“And get fired and discriminated in the legal world? I have an oath to fufill, I can’t break it in the eyes of the law.”

Fionn rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. Y/N knew he was sick of hearing her talk about this. Either way, she was sure he would break up with her. She just had that feeling in her gut.

“S-So, before you come back and we start out two-weeks, I start research, and guess who was one of victims? Y/B/G/F/N. My best guy friend from theater since we were kids. So I’m put on defense against my best friend’s killer. I couldn’t believe it. So I called him, 52 times, and he didn’t pick up because he was, of course, dead. He- He’s dead.”

Fionn opened his mouth but nothing came out. She had ended on such a strong note, and she hoped he would just say that he was sorry, say that he-

“That gives you no excuse to do what you did, Y/N.”

Y/N was shocked. He’s still nagging at her? She couldn’t believe it.

“You know what? You’re right,” Y/N took off his sweatshirt and threw it on the bed and took her phone and wristlet with her as she headed over to the door. “You’re right, it’s a shit story, a shit reason to drink, as shit reason for you to believe me no matter how honest and real it is for me.”

She slipped on her shoes and opened the door.

“The hell do ye think yer goin’?”

“[Your best friend] is coming into town with her girl/boyfriend. We’re having dinner. Was going to introduce you to her, but-” you shrugged and left.

—–

Fionn looked around at their empty flat and started humming a stray tune. It was meant to be happy, the story she spun was shit and she acknowledged it, but it drifted into a minor rendition of Imprint, which she loved harmonizing to.

Y/N really was one of the big things in his life. She made him smile, made his day, made his life better than it was before. He picked up one of Y/N’s binders from the coffee table and flipped through it. Sure enough, her story was there, all on official documents.

Fionn sighed. There was no getting her back now. He was such an ass to her, she was probably going to stay with her best friend that night.

His two-week vacation had just begun, and he didn’t want it to start with a break with the best girl in the world. There was one thing he had to do.

—–

“Hi Y/N!” Y/B/F/N scooped you into a big hug outside of the cafe. “I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“I missed you, too,” Y/N said, pulling back from the hug and fiddling with her wristlet. “So, where’s your lucky boy/girl?”

“Inside,” her smile brightened. “Oh my God I can’t wait for you to meet her/him!”

“Well I’m excited,” she said, giving Y/B/F/N a big smile. “They need my stamp of approval,” she winked at her bouncy friend.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Y/N,” she smiled. “So where’s this Fionn guy I’ve been seeing all over your Insta for the past -well- forever? Still haven’t met him,” she pouted. “You’re meeting my bae, I should be able to meet yours.”

“Um,” Y/N twirled her hair. “‘Bout that. We kind of got into a fight, and he -uh- he’s not coming.”

Y/B/F/N gasped. “Oh. My. Freakin- I’m so sorry!”

“Oh, no it’s fine,” Y/N sighed. “It basically was my fault.”

“Stop putting yourself down [Your nickname].” She linked arms with her and guided her towards the door. “It’ll probably blow over soon. C'mon, [your best friend’s boy/girlfriend] has a table.”

—–

Fionn grabbed the sweatshirt from the bed, his phone, keys, and threw on his glasses before pulling his shoes on and running out the door. He didn’t exactly know where he was going to, but he did know he needed to find Y/N.

After three stops at some of their favorite hangout spots, Fionn finally stumbled on Y/N. She was sitting across her friend and their boy/girlfriend. He took a deep breath before walking over.

“Hey,” he casually walked over and pulled out the chair next to Y/N. “Sorry I was late.”

Fionn pulled Y/N into a one-armed hug. “I’m so sorry, love,” he whispered in her ear before he pulled away. “Did ya already order, or-”

Y/N looked down at her lap. “No, no it’s fine.” She handed him her menu and smiled slightly at him.

After ordering, Y/N’s friend held out her hand.

“I’m Y/B/F/N. This is my boy/girlfriend, [Your bestie’s bae’s name].”

“Hi,” he shook her hand and gave a smile to Y/B/B/N before casually slipping an arm around Y/N’s shoulder. “Nice to meet you.”

—–

After dropping Y/B/F/N and [their bae] off at their hotel, Y/N spun around to face Fionn. It was chilly out, and she had slipped on his sweatshirt earlier. The night fell on the square and lights were slowly beginning to turn on.

“I thought you, I mean, I-”

“Yeah,” Fionn scratched the back of his neck. “I was fuckin’ angry, but I really am sorry, love. You have to believe me, right?”

“I- I do,” Y/N pulled her hair away from her face before letting it drop again. “I want to. A lot. You know I- I care about you a lot, Fionn. You scared me, and I-”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry, love.”

Y/N and Fionn were almost to their flat and she stopped before opening the door.

“I’m sorry, too,” she said. “I shouldn’t have drunk, and it’s thanks to you I didn’t lose my virginity.”

“WHAT?” Fionn gaped at Y/N. He obviously didn’t know that.

“Shut it,” she said, smiling. “Neighbors can hear.”

“I-” he lowered his voice, “I know, but are you, really?”

“Do you honestly think I had time for that?” Y/N opened the door and he walked in, stilk facing her. She closed the door and took off her shoes.

“Damn, Y/N,” he said, tossing his shoes on the rack. “You shouldn’t have told me that. You’re in for one hell of a night.”

“That sounds gross,” Y/N said, setting her shoes the rack gently. “I was thinking a movie or-”

—–

Fionn closed her mouth with a kiss. It was the first kiss they had since he came back, and it was innocent, just like their relationship normally was. Soon, his hands were tangling in her hair and she was on her tiptoes, arms around his neck. He picked her up easily and carried her to their bedroom, dropping off his glasses on the way.

He pushed her roughly against the headboard, her small frame pressed against his body. His hands were traveling up and down her sides, hers tangled in his hair. He slowly took off his sweatshirt she was wearing and dropped it on the side of the bed. Before he went back to kissing Y/N, he took off his shirt. They crashed into each other with a hunger neither of them had ever experianced before. Kisses grew passionate, and he straddled her against the bed. Soon, her shirt and shorts were off. She was wearing her everyday underwear, but Fionn never thought anyone could look so beautiful as she looked up at him with wide eyes, panting.

“Are you sure you want this?” Fionn pushed her hair behind her ear as she nodded. He gently sucked the spot below her ear as he cradled her lower back. As Y/N began moaning softly, his hand moved up to her bra clasp and began removing it. It was on the floor moments later, and his lips were starting down to her breasts. He sucked on her nipple as she dug into his lower back with her feet. He could tell she was holding back moans, and left her on the bed to search his nightstand.

He quickly pulled his pants down and threw a condom onto his enlarged manhood. Y/N had sat up on the bed, looking on with wide eyes. He took off her wet panties, exposing her clit and ran a finger over it before slowly sliding in. She was really tight, probably since this was her first time. Her eyes were shut and before he was completely in her, she yelped and pushed him back, shaking. Y/N wrapped her arms around her legs, taking deep breaths, head hidden in her arms.

“Y/N,” he said, crawling up to her and placing a hand on her back. “Y/N, love, are you okay? Di’ I ‘urt you? I’m so sorry. Are ye hurt, love? Are you okay? I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that I’m so bloody stupid. I di'n’t hurt ya did I? Love? Talk to me, please?”

She looked up, hair covering half her face. “I- It feels so- I can’t- I’m so sor-”

“It’s alrigh’, love,” he pushed her hair behind her ear. “We don’t have to-”

“No, no,” she said, streatching her legs out around him. “I can do it. We’ve come so far, I can do it.”

“You sure, love? We don’t hav-”

She kissed him fiercely and soon she up against the headboard again. He guided his cock into her as she gripped his hair, knees coming up. Her eyes closed, head back against the headboard. He put one hand on her lower back to help her if she fell before he did and gently pulled the back of her head to rest on his shoulder. She buried her face in his neck as he slowly went in and out of her, gaining speed when he felt her fingers relax their grip on his back and hair. Moments after, she let out a moan, pressing her forehead into his shoulder. She was panting and shaking, probably confused at what was happening.

“S'ok, love,” he said, stroking her lower back. “You can let go.”

She exhaled and fell off the edge just then, him falling soon after. He fell onto her stomach, groaning softly after they both reached their high.

Fionn took himself out of her and peeled the full condom off him and thew it in the rubbish. She was taking deep breaths, trying not to notice the ruined sheets. He pulled on a pair of shorts so he wouldn’t be tempted to start it all up again and grabbed one of Y/N’s blankets from the couch, throwing it around her shoulders and sitting next to her on the bed.

“That wa'n’t so bad, was it, love?”

Y/N chuckled and rested her head on Fionn’s shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. “Suppose not. I’ve got nothing to compare it to.”

He laughed and kissed the top of her head. “You know I did it 'cause I love you. I love you a lot.”

“'Love you, too,” she said hesitantly.

“There ya go, love! That wa'n’t so hard, was it?”

“Not as hard as your cock,” she smiled up at Fionn, a mischievous glimmer in her eye.

“Shush, love. Don’t want to start it o'er again.”

She laughed and it sent butterflies up through Fionn. “Now,” he said. “'Bout that movie…”

[comeallyelost]

So I did a thing on Friday that simultaneously crushed me, but was also absolutely necessary for me to do.

Basically I finally made a move on my hot coach that I've been (more than) crushing on for like a year. I think I was going to explode if I didn't do something soon. And so, like my last confession of feelings for a guy, it did not go as I had hoped.

Here's some context and what went down:

So the gym I go to is pretty small, all class-based, and it's a pretty tight-knit little community. I've made like 4 really good friends here on top of like 6 or 7 other people that I interact with regularly and know me to an extent. The owner of the gym knows everyone by name, my boot camp coach (a girl) has practically become part of my extended family at this point, and my kickboxing/ Brazilian jiu-jitsu coach (the hot coach in question) has become my kind-of friend to the extent that one can within the confines of the gym. We talk before and after class, we have inside jokes, there's a banter and a flow that's been in place for quite a while now. And although I can never manage to get him to hangout outside of the gym (either with me or in a gym group hang with my little group) we have had "official" gym happy hours three times now in which we do eat and drink and just have a good time.

He became a coach at the gym like 3 months after I had joined and little by little just became the coach that teaches almost every class I take there. I joined the MMA/Jiu-jitsu program because of him and honestly owe a lot of my progress to his coaching.

He's funny and immature in that stupid boyish way that I adore. He makes me laugh and is just someone that I always have fun with whenever he's around. He is a quintessential Miami boy and for some reason, it makes me like him even more. I guess there's just something familiar about it even if it makes him a not-so-ideal person for me to date/ be interested in. 

So anywho, I think the first few months last year when I started crushing on him, I was constantly beating myself down for having these feelings in the first place because he was...kind of not worthy of them? Like he's silly and immature and ridiculous but also kind of acts like he stopped all intellectual growth and development at age 16 when it comes to certain situations. But at some point last summer I think I just resigned myself to the fact that I liked him and took it for what it was. And then it just became this game of what can I get from him each time we interact. Going to the gym was also an act of like a fun courtship for me. And well, I guess the intensity of my feelings grew, but at the same time, I let myself dwell in them and not question them anymore and I probably fell in deeper than I should have.

And every now and then I would catch these little glimpses from him that made me certain he was at least a little bit interested in me. And look, I can concede that him and I operate on different wavelengths. Just in terms of life experience, education, and just overall way we carry on about life. But in the confines of the gym, he continued to surprise me. And so I figured, maybe this could be some sort of thing. And I got this vibe from him (which I had too) that he liked me, but was not really sure what to do about it because he's never liked someone like me before. 

And the last couple weeks, for whatever reason, I had it in my head that things were getting more intense than before. But then again, I did that thing where I catalogued every interaction with him and probably assigned it a meaning or intention that wasn't really there.

SO

Given all this, I've been on the verge of exploding for quite some time. And last Friday we had a gym happy hour planned and I decided I had to do something. I for real could not go on like this.

And so, at the happy hour all was fine and fun and whatever. And I was waiting for something to happen or waiting for the opportunity to make something happen, but he left before I could really work anything in. So, I texted him to let me know when he got home (because also he drives after drinking quite a bit and that's probably a huge red flag that I should not be ignoring) since he did not take me up on my offer to give him a ride after the bar. And a brief flirtation ensued in which he asked me if I was trying to take him home (lol of course) but it was still friendly territory and I made a jab at the fact that he never wants to hang out with me and he responded the next morning with just "Lol" which is not uncommon for him to do and I took it as a "haha that's funny we can end this conversation now" which I was kinda bummed about, but respected nonetheless because if he doesn't want to hang out with me/ is not interested then so be it, what am I gonna do about it?

But THEN an hour and a half later, I guess he caught on or was curious or whatever and messaged me again about what my intentions are if we do actually hang out and I was like fucking freaking the fuck out because I was so completely caught off guard and immediately thought to myself "I KNEW I wasn't crazy" and so we exchanged a few more messages (mind you we rarely text at all, and when we do it's usually like...a link to a joke or a meme or something and no follow up). I was straight up from the get go and literally wrote, "Dude, I am obviously into you" and he came back with "I'm not looking to be in a relationship" and I didn't really know how to take that comment because it could have been a rejection? Or it could have been that he only wants to hook up? Which then he asked me if that's what I was looking for and well...no not really, but I guess I could? So I wrote back "Idk" and asked if he was looking to hook up because why else would he continue on this thread? Like why couldn't he have left it alone? And he was like "don't know" and basically I took the plunge and just said if he was down, he could come over and we could essentially netflix and chill lol and he Never. Wrote. Back.

Mind you, I see him at least 4 times a week at the gym. Sometimes twice a day. And like...he thought this was okay to do? I saw him Monday morning and asked if we were cool when he had a sec and he was all nonchalant and barely looked me in the eye and was like "yeah we're cool **insert immature joke here**" and that was basically it.

And I essentially spent the whole weekend in this limbo state because I didn't know where this was going to go. But I had given the fucker the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe he'd want to say something in person but it looks like he just pulled the fuckboy move of "let me see how much I can get out of this chick with no intention of actually following through". And that fuckin hurt. I was pretty devastated after that brief noncommittal acknowledgement of what *didn't* happen and I surprised myself by bursting into tears the moment I got in my car after my morning workout.

And I've just been sad all week, because I hate that I fell for this stupid trap, I hate that he treated me that way--I feel super disrespected and taken advantage of--because we WERE friends, and ultimately I really did like him and for a second there I was so so excited that I thought he liked me back and it was AGAIN just all. In. My. Head.

So now I'm back in this spiral of "what is wrong with me/why does no one like me/why can't I get this right" and I honestly thought I had grown past that. Like, objectively I can understand that not everyone is going to be into me. But at this point, no one really ever has been. And I like people really intensely, it's never small for me. I put it all in, that's just how I'm built, I guess. So his rejection really fucking stings.

And now the gym is not awkward per say- this fucker is carrying on as if nothing. But it's lost one of its compelling components for me and I hate him for that. I'm probably being passive aggressively petty in that I'm not interacting with him like I normally would. But does he even care? Did he ever? 

I'm just sad and hurt 🙁 and I wish he'd own up to something, but I can't keep hoping on something that will probably never happen. 

But on the plus side, I made the move, I voiced it out loud. Because these feelings were going to fester and inhibit me even more than they already were.

But ugh. Fuck boys.

[nick-and-judy-daily]

Judy’s encounter with Finnick. What Happened?

After Judy has the epiphany about the nighthowler case on her farm, she drives back to Zootopia to look for Nick. Instead she finds Finnick. What happened during their conversation after he opened his van door?

*Quick note: I saw this head canon on a post once and decided to write my own version of it. It’s my first fanfic so yeah. idk whatever~*

**All rights are owned by Disney**

 Almost in a panic, Judy Hopps was frantically driving down the back streets of Downtown looking left and right for Nick. It had been hours since she arrived in Zootopia and looked in every place she could think of. She needed to find him, fast. She knew that she was taking a leap of faith looking for him knowing there was a 99% chance he wouldn’t forgive her, let alone help her with her new found discovery about the attacks, but she was willing to risk it. What she had done after the whole PR debacle all those months ago, had not only severed her developing friendship with Nick, but created fear and chaos in the city that rapidly worsened since she left. While she continued in her internal self loathing, her ears perk up and she comes to a sudden stop when she spots the back of a familiar red van parked in an ally way. She parks her family’s truck and jumps out of the passenger seat and slams the door. Judy hastily makes her way to Finnick’s van, hoping to find that Nick is with him. With her ears pressed to her back she knocks a few times praying someone, anyone, will open the door.

Finnick, being a small mammal and living basically on the streets in his van, his most valued possession he might add, is always on alert with being a hustler and all. You never know who’s lurking around for god knows whatever reason. He can hold his own, but he always keeps a baseball bat handy. Just in case. He hears footsteps coming to his van. He definitely wasn’t expecting Nick since he wanted to take a “personal day” which he knew was code for sulking over that freakin’ bunny cop. Nick hardly talked about her, but when he did he’d get pretty depressed over it. Finnick was pretty sure he was in love with that bunny, with the way Nick would go on about her when he did talk about the situation between them…. He was suddenly brought back from his thoughts when a few solid knocks are heard rasping on one the back doors, his face turns into a snarl, which wasn’t that hard to achieve since that’s how he normally looks. He grabs his bat, and quickly opens the door shouting, “WHO IS IT?”

It never ceased to amaze her that a mammal much smaller than Judy herself could bellow out such a low monotone voice. It was almost comical. But his voice was so fierce and intimidating at that very moment that it startled her, especially with the sight of him holding a bat and an angry look on his face. Regardless, she quickly darted her eyes behind the small fox to see if Nick was inside and to her dismay there was no sign of him. The bunny went on in a desperate voice, “I need to find Nick, please.”

This surprised Finnick, as Judy was the last mammal he was expecting to see standing outside the back of his van. “How the hell did she find me and why was she looking for Nick?” he thought. She was clasping her hands together, pleading with those big violet eyes. With this, Finnick sighed and threw his bat down to his side in the van. He crossed his arms and gave Judy a bored looking smirk and simply asked with one word, “Why?”

“Finnick, please it’s important.” She said, “I have to find him, it’s an emergency. It has to do with the attacks here in Zootopia.”

Knowing what she was talking about his ears perked up slightly. The small fox was willing to tell her where Nick usually spent his free time and where she would most likely be able to find him, but not just yet. He wanted to give her a hard time, “You’ve got some nerve coming here, rabbit.”

Judy sighed, “Look, I know what I did was wrong and it was completely ignorant of me to label all predators as potentially dangerous. And the fact that I’m coming back three months later to find him and apologize only makes it even worse!” She continued, “I was a horrible friend and completely insensitive to how he might feel to all of it, but I need his help more than ever.”

Yeah it sure was a load of bull coming back three months late he thought. Finnick said, “Ok, fine I’ll tell you where he is, but you should know the crap I’ve had to deal with since you guys had that fight,” he went on, “After that stunt you pulled he was a fuckin’ mess. Especially since you never came to apologize. The shit I’ve had to deal with, with that kid.” Finnick said while shaking his dis-proportioned head and he continued, “He got real depressed and has been holding onto that freakin’ carrot pen. It’s even affecting our business.”

Judy was stunned. She knew she had really messed up, but not to the extent that Finnick had explained to her. Then she realized something he said to her in the middle of her thoughts. “Wait he kept my pen?”

Annoyed, Finnick replied, “Uhhh… yeah. He won’t throw that stupid thing away.”

That completely took her by surprise, and her heartbeat sped up a bit. She hadn’t even realized he left the station with her pen, or that she hadn’t even remembered about it till now. This gave her some hope. “Finnick, I’m so sorry that I put you and Nick through this. Especially Nick. But I really need to know where he is right now! I know why the attacks are happening and why predators are going savage, and I need to figure out how to stop it.” She quipped, “And like I said, I can’t do it without Nick.”

Defeated, Finnick finally felt bad enough for the bunny to give up his location. “Alright, There’s a bridge he hangs out by on the outskirts of the city. It’s near a large abandoned warehouse.” He said. He gave her the rest of the directions and with that Judy thanked Finnick and rushed back to the car and sped off to find him.

“That bunny is gonna be the death of him.” Finnick said as he shut the van door behind him.

[justastrugglinggirl]

I started writing at like 3:00 AM and these are my thoughts.. sorry its kinda long

Hello, my fellow strugglers. If you have found your way to this page, congrats I guess. I won't be sharing this link with anyone and have decided to keep who I am 100% anonymous. I really don't know what I'm doing, I was feeling down and wanted to talk about all my shit but I ran into three problems...

1) It's about 3 AM so no one is awake.

2) Even if people were awake, I don't have anyone to talk to, yes I have friends and people who care but let's be real, do they really give a fuck? Would they give me any advice that I haven't already thought of?

3) All of my shit is confidential, no one in my life knows all the fucking shit I have going on, and they aren't about to find out.

So instead of ranting on my finsta just for no one to comment, or texting my friends a long ass paragraph about why I'm upset just for them to say "aw I'm sorry" then continue with their gossip, I decided to make this fucking blog. Don't ask me where I got the idea because I don't know. I guess I like the idea of being able to talk to the world about all my damn problems without anyone actually knowing who I am.

I probably have about one thousand things to bitch about but of course, the thing that has me up into the late hours of the night is a boy. Man oh man, I don't even know where to start, but since I got a while and don't wanna go to bed, I'll tell you everything. (This dude has been a problem in my life for over a year now, so I will most definitely skip over something on accident but just go with it). I don't wanna put any real names online because ya know... digital footprint or whatever so I'm gonna call him "Rocket".

Okay so it all started about a year ago, I was at an extremely lame party and found myself sitting quietly in the basement of some person's house on a couch with no one I knew. Now lots of people were bored so as the night went by, more and more people started to crowd together away from the twerk fest. This is when I met Rocket. Since the couch was so packed, we were forced to sit right next to each other, thigh against thigh, shoulders overlapping, ya know what I'm saying? So with nothing better to do, we started to talk, and pretty soon I figured out that he is the sweetest, most funny person I've ever met.

>>>>>> Sidenote, at this point I had only kissed two people in my entire life, and neither of them was my choice. So I was kinda awkward when it came to stuff like that so I didn't pick up on any of the hints that he might want a hookup. I missed the constant eye contact, I missed the gentle touching (not sexual but you know what I mean), I missed the compliments, I thought he was just a nice guy. Man, I wish I picked up on it, I wish I'd kissed him, I wish I flirted harder, why was I so fucking idiotic?? <<<<<<<

Back to the story. I went home that night with Rocket on my mind. A few days later my good friend (that happened to be dating Rocket's best friend) told me that Rocket wanted to hook up with me. Bet you can't guess what my dumb ass did. I FUCKING SAID NO!! I guess at that time I thought that if you hooked up with someone that made you a slut, dumb dumb dumb dumb me. Little did I know that this little hook up comment from my friend was completely wrong. Remember how I said my friend was dating Rockets bestie? Well, I guess Rocket told his bestie that he LIKED ME... not wanted to hook up... he liked me. I'm not sure where it got mixed up but this information went from Rocket to his bestie to my friend. So after I declined his so-called hookup request he moved on, but oh my loooorddddyyyy I still had a crush on him.

Fast forward in time a bit, somehow through the course of like 5 weeks my friends and his friends mixed and we became a friend group... TERRIFIC... So our new group hung out damn near every day of every weekend. I was forced to be with the guy that I had the BIGGEST crush on 24/7 while he had no idea, and treated me like "a bro". This is what I like to call my own personal hell. But wait, it gets so much fucking worse.

For this to make sense I kind of have to loop back in time, so let's pretend this is one of those scenes in the movies where the video freezes then the narrator starts talking and it cuts to a flashback.

Flashback:

 {I happen to be a cheerleader, and oh my goodness if you're about to judge me for it I will fucking murder you. Let's stop the stereotypes... no, I'm not a bitch, not popular, not dumb, not a fucking blond. During practice I got really close with my teammate... let's call her Mouse. The whole time I liked Rocket, I told Mouse everything about it, whenever he did something sweet, something mean, if he hugged me, anything and everything. Okay now that you know this little piece of information, let's cut back to the story.}

Hmm bet you can't guess who else started to like Rocket. Bet you would never think that my cheerleader friend would stab me in the back and go for the guy that I've been telling her about for months. Bet you thought that stuff only happened in the movies. Well, guess what, you're wrong. I'm sure your thinking, it can't get worse, your friend already broke the girl code, your boy story doesn't get worse right? Wrong. Rocket fucking decided to like her back. WHAT THE FUCK. Remember how we are in a friend group? Guess who got to hear about everything Rocket had to say about Mouse. This girl!! lol guess who's a dumb bitch and didn't say anything to either of them. This girl!! Guess who actually gave her crush good advice about his new chick. This girl!! Guess who played cupid in their little fucking love story. This girl!! Guess whose life is a living hell. This girl!!

Let's fast forward a bit to a little peaceful time in my story where Rocket's little fling with Mouse has finally ended. During this time, I actually had hope, this kid would flirt with me, hug me from the back and everything. His friends or as he would say "bros" told me he liked me. Then one day after we snapchatted for legit hours back and forth, he said something that just fuckin broke my heart. (We were literally doing so well, and I actually thought we had a chance. UGH!) He texted me and goes "hey [insert his cute nickname for me here], I heard that you like me but I don't wanna be all that".

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK YOU DICKWAD!?!?!? WHATTTTT WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU LEAD ME ON FOR SO LONG IF YOU HAD NO INTENTION OF BEING WITH ME!?!?!?

Like any normal person, I replied with something along the lines of "lol idk where you heard that but I don't like you" then being the asshat that he is he went on saying that he didn't believe me and that he could tell I liked him. Okay, I know this shouldn't have made me so pissed but at this moment he was being such a cocky little asshole and I was embarrassed, so I told him I liked some guy from a high school near ours. For my lie to work I had to pretend it wasn't a lie, so naturally, I told all my gals to go along with it and they did. My little fib was kinda successful, but the truth always comes out...

Suprise, this part of the story takes place at another party. I guess one of my dude friends in my friend group (let's call him Rainbow) saw me admiring Rocket from a distance (oops, I couldn't help it, this guy is seriously just so cute). So while I was talking to one of my guy friends (not in squad) Rainbow came up to us and shouted "YOU STILL LIKE ROCKET". . . FUCK YOU RAINBOW!!!  Now the kid I was talking to was completely surprised and wouldn't let it go, even though I insisted that Rainbow was wrong and that I liked my made up, guy. Guess who walked up to us as we were talking about it... FUCKING ROCKET!

So the guy I was talking to shouts "Hey Rocket, [insert my name here] likes you!!!" Dude seriously like what the hell. I was completely embarrassed. I started to get hot, my forehead started to bead with sweat, I could feel my face getting bright red. If I tried to lie my way out, no one would believe me. So I stood there for what seemed like forever just trying to think of how to make my little personal hell end and all I came out with was "no". You wanna know what Rocket said? He goes "I know she does". EEEERRRRRGGGGG I fucking liked him so much but oh my goodness I hated him too. So that was that for a while, just me living in embarrassment every time I saw him, getting all red whenever he entered the room. He made me feel so small like I was wrong for liking him- sorry your so perfect and I can't help but be obsessed with you.

After some time everyone forgot about me liking him, and I guess I learned to hide it a lot better. Because oh baby, those feelings did not go away. So he started to treat me like a bro again and telling me about the girls he liked. Guess who he liked again? Mouse. So being the good person that I am, I gave him advice about her, I sucked it up because I wanted him to be happy. If that meant he wasn't with me, whatever. If she made him happy, I would help it happen. Like all high school relationships, it didn't last and they ended their thing.

Now he decided to move onto another girl I cheered with, so I helped him with it and go her to like him because I'm just that good of a person. Damn, why do I always sabotage myself?

So after his short-lived thing with the other cheerleader (dang I guess he has a type),  he started flirting with me again. Okay, I know I've mistaken someone being nice with flirting before, but this time I was sure. He would snap me saying I was pretty, text me when he was bored, ask me to hang out one on one, play truth or truth over the phone. I thought that my hell was finally ending, I thought maybe just maybe I would get to be happy. So one night we were up late talking to each other he started to ask who I liked (bitch, its youuuu), I didn't wanna tell him so I would just say I wouldn't tell or I didn't know. Then I would ask who he liked, and he replied the same way, which made me pretty excited. So after a while of going back and forth, he said "[insert my nickname here], just tell me, what if we like each other?" You can imagine how happy I was. I don't know if I've ever smiled so big before. I was kicking my feet in excitement, I had so much energy, I was the happiest girl alive. I replied with "you first". Prepare yourself for a lifetime of let down, because he replied with "I like Mouse".

WHAT THE FUCK YOU CAN'T DO THAT, THIS IS WRONG, REWIND TIME, THIS CAN'T BE REAL. WHY OH WHY WOULD SOMEONE SAY THAT. YOU CAN'T SUGGEST THAT YOU LIKE ME THEN GO BACK TO THAT FUCKING BTICH. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE.

My heart sank, I could actually feel that red beating thing in my chest drop. I had so much excitement and I was so happy, then one fucking snap chat took it all away. Why does Mouse get him, what makes her so much better than me that he would keep going back to her? Was it because she was prettier, would she put out faster than me, was it the way she dressed, was she funnier, nicer? Please fucking tell me. I replied and said that I liked a kid from camp, now this kid wasn't made up, and I did talk to him a lot, enough for him to be on my best friends list, but he lived in Chicago, so nothing would ever actually happen with that. After this little heartbreak, I vowed to myself to never like Rocket again. He would never stop stringing me along, and he would always pick someone better than me.

At this point, I actually did get over Rocket. I didn't spend my nights thinking of kissing him, I didn't fantasize about us going on dates, he was out of my mind. The only thing is that there was no one else for me to like. No one compared to him, no one related to me as much as him. No one caught my eye. So I spent a long while, just single, and I got very bored. I got mini crushes on people during this time, but I never acted on them, and they were always very short lived, maybe one night I'll write about those too.

Fast forward. Rocket went out of town for almost all of summer because his dad lives in Florida. I'm not sure how it happened but we started snap chatting again. But I promise I didn't like him. We snapped about everything, like good friends would do. We talked about his family, what he wanted to do when he grew up, how he kind of still liked Mouse, how he was over Mouse, where he wanted to travel, everything. We had so much in common. For example, our love for sunsets was crazy, I had never met anyone that felt that same way as me when it came to colorful skies (I'll probably write about this more in-depth sometime). We even had the same favorite color: orange. So somehow in the midst of all of our snapping, another crush started to form, but this time it was different. I really knew him, I thought I understood him, we could talk forever about anything.

Then one night we were chatting and a very familiar topic came up. Who did we like? The conversation went the same way as the other times, both of us refusing to tell each other who we liked. {As a point of reference, I would like to point out that this happened about 3 days ago}. This time, he said something like "I think I like you, but I'm not 100% sure, over the past few days I've started to get feelings for you". I honestly didn't believe what I was reading, I was so sure that it was going to be like the last time. I was happy, but it wasn't like last time. I knew this kid, and I knew that this probably wasn't real, so I didn't let myself get overexcited again. I replied with something along the lines of "yeah, that's how I feel, I'm not really sure if I do or don't because we haven't seen each other in so long". I let myself get excited when he started talking about hanging out, just us.

Two nights ago, he came back to our hometown and went to hang with his bros, which I understand 100% because ya know 'bros before hoes'. Okay, this is about to get kind of confusing so I'm gonna do another one of those rewind things.

>>>>> Within our squad a couple formed, Rainbow and let's call the girl Hippie. I might write about this whole thing sometime but for now, I'll give you guys a summary. After lots of drama Rainbow and Hippie started to date but the relationship was bad so they broke up, and it was ugly, making things within our group very awkward. So Rainbow was an OG member of our squad so the bros are more loyal to him and took his side. They started being mean to Hippie, I always stood up for her and tried to include her, but after a while, the boys started to kick her out of the group because she was doing mean things to Rainbow. She got invited to less and fewer events and then she eventually left our group chat. The boys had a running joke about how she smelled bad (she does kinda smell but I hate that they talk bad about it). Another thing you need to know is that Rainbow was out of town during the point of the story that we are about to get back into. Now you have enough information for me to get back to the story.<<<<<

So Rocket was with his pals and Rainbow texted in our group chat saying he wanted to add her back in, and all of them complained and started sending memes about her. I texted in it telling them to stop and for Rainbow to add Hippie back in. Hippie was indeed added back in and when she was, some of the bros replied to it by saying "fuckkkk". They started sending memes encouraging her to leave the chat once again, and Rocket just let this happen, he even joined in on sending the memes. She left the chat again and I think she was really upset by it. Now, this might not sound like a big deal but it honestly pissed me off. I know some of Rocket's friends are mean, but that's never been him, he has always stood up for people or at least stayed quiet. This wasn't the Rocket that I had grown to like.

To make matters worse, once he got to his friend's houses, he left me on open, and I've been on open ever since. I know I'm being all bitchy and this stuff is not even a big deal but honestly, it has me pissed off.

If you've gotten this far into this post I'm very impressed because it was a whole lot of fucking teenage drama. You're also probably thinking that I'm petty and that these aren't even big problems. You are right. However, I've never had a real boyfriend, so this stuff is kinda big to me. Comment your thoughts on this, and tell me, should I go for Rocket?

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #276

“all the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run, better run, outrun my gun.”

Favorite dried fruit? Dried fruit is fucking disgusting. Would you rather wear a dress or a suit on your wedding day? A dress. If you chose dress, will it be long or short? I prefer longer wedding dresses. If you chose suit, will you wear a bow or a tie? Hypothetically I’d wear a tie, probably. Have you ever wanted to be a police officer? No. Do you have a nut allergy? No. Do you accessories with chains? Put chains on fucking EVERYTHING and it is an improvement. How often do you cook dinner? If you’re excluding the microwave, like… never. What have you given up on recently? Nothing important; the only thing I can think of applies to a game. I was after the way-too-fucking-expensive dinosaur mount that is very soon going away in World of Warcraft, but the stress it was causing me wasn’t worth it. The time investment and how it was only a “maybe” of getting it in time Favorite condiment for fries? Ketchup. Ever had bangs? I did as a little kid. Do you know any Italian people? Well yeah, people of Italian descent are common in the U.S. I don’t know like, someone straight from Italy though. Have you ever dated someone LGBTQ+? Yeah, a demisexual. What color would you like your future bathroom to be? Uh… I don’t really care. It would depend on the house. Do you add sugar to plain cornflakes? No. Are skeletons cool? Skellyboiz are dope. Favorite Selena Gomez song? I don’t know any. Do you like coffee flavored cake? I don’t like coffee, so guess. Is that even a thing, though? Do you still watch your favorite kid shows/cartoons? I don’t watch TV. I would though, sure. Do you like going on walks? What's your favorite thing about them? How far do you normally walk? Ugh this question is gonna be embarrassing considering I went through muscle atrophy in my legs from being so sedentary. When we move (HOPEFULLY the start of October, a wrench was kinda thrown in our plans), I intend to absolutely start walking in small intervals now that we’ll be in a nice little neighborhood with a sidewalk. And a PokeStop nearby to bait me lmfao. Plus the weather will be cooler, so I intend to make a lot of progress. BUT ANYWAY I like just listening to either music or the sounds of what’s going on around me. Last time you had a hot drink? That’s a good question. Idk. Have you ever lived in a city? Was it crowded? Never like… a “real” city. Just small towns or in the middle of nowhere. Would you prefer to live in a big city or the woods? THE WOODS!!!!!!1 THE WOODS!!!!!1!!!!1111!! GIMME THAT SHIT!!!!!!11!11!!!! Have you ever climbed a mountain? No. Do you hear owls or crickets at night where you live? LOADS of crickets and toads during the summer. Ever run away from home? When I was a stupid pre-teen. I was mad at my mom and she wasn’t home, so I took Teddy and left. I had my phone though and Mom – when she got home – threatened to call the cops, so yeah, I came back. Are you scared to ride public transport alone? Why? No. Is marriage on your mind? No time soon. Did you own a dollhouse when you were younger? I didn’t, per se, but my younger sister did, and we would play together. Does the room you're in have a tiled floor? No, it’s carpet. How many pairs of earrings do you own? Not that many, not too few. Are you looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend? I’ve never thought *looking* was a good idea, so no. I think bonds of any kind need to come naturally to avoid lack of genuineness, force, or rush. I don’t think me having an s/o is a smart idea right now anyway. Do you prefer a call or a text? Don’t call me unless you’re dying or something. Do your parents drink coffee every morning? Mom almost always does. I don’t live with Dad, so idk. Have you ever donated blood? Yes. One song that's meaningful to you? UM a LOT. Most meaningful, probably “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelin. I physically can’t listen to it. Like I refuse to. Are you addicted to anything? Technology, big oof energy. What were you last listening to in the car? Something on my iPod, idk. When was the last time you sang out loud? I don’t recall. I rarely sing. What did you have for breakfast? A microwaveable sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. Mom is currently out of state with her mother because she’s literally on her deathbed, so she STOCKED ME THE FUCK UP on groceries. The freezer is literally jam-packed, so I’m focusing on eating food from there. Did you have a nap today? Yes. I almost never, ever make it through the day without one, especially now with having nightmares every fucking time I sleep. Are you named after anyone? No. Well, not my first name, anyway. “Marie” is a middle name theme in my family, though. What kind of music do you like? Metal, rock, alternative, indie… stuff like that. What’s one hobby that you’d like to take up? Ugh, I miss a LOT of my old hobbies. I’ve lost interest in so much. I wish I drew way more than I do, which is almost never. What did you think you wanted to be when you grew up? The first job I ever wanted was a paleontologist. I was obsessed with dinosaurs. Still love ‘em. What’s the biggest project on your to-do list right now? It’d be great if I could finish designing Ashley’s cancer tattoo, but again, yeah, drawing motivation. ;_; If you weren’t in your current job, what would you want to be doing? I’m unemployed. Is the last person you kissed older than you? No. Are you happy right now? No. Haven’t been “happy” for a while now. Who makes you happiest right now? Probably my cat tbh lol. Especially being home alone for so long, he’s keeping me company. In school did/do people put a label on you? If so, what is/was it? I was considered one of the “emo” kids. Do you laugh every day? lol wow no. What is the last thing you laughed at? This Spongebob meme I saw on Facebook got me fuckin good. Have you cried today? If so, why? Nah. When was the last time someone saw you naked? Been a long time; even when I’m going in or coming out of the shower I do all I can for Mom to not see me because I hate my body a fucking lot. What is the greatest loss you've endured? My first boyfriend. When was the last time you did something you were embarrassed by? WOW I do this like every fuckin day, fam. What was the last thing you lied about? I’m not sure. What type of a drunk are you? Never gotten to the point of drunk, but I was more talkative the closest I got. What is your philosophy on life/how do you generally choose to live or conduct yourself? What a big question. I personally think you should do all you can to make a positive impact on the world – make it better than when you entered. Don’t contribute to the bad, treat people how you want to be treated… all that jazz. When was the last time you were up all night and why? I can’t remember quite why, but I remember doing that with WoW some time ago. Idr what I was doing that had my attention that long, though. That’s rare now. What is the worst thing you've done to yourself? What is the worst thing someone else has done to you? Part one: hand over all of my worth to someone else. Part two: show me exactly why I shouldn’t have in a very unhealthy way. What is the most personal thing you're willing to reveal? I dunno??? Can ya give me a topic?? Is there a situation or person you haven't been able to get over/forgive/what have you? I honestly doubt I’ll ever be entirely over Jason. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? Probably Mom, and idr. Doubt it. Just probably raised my voice. Where did your last injury come from? My cat, rip. What is the worst thing you have said to another person? Something along the lines of “thanks for sending me to the ER (or mental hospital?) again.” Fucking disgusting. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Without fail, always. Please wear your seatbelt. Are you scared of flying? Not really. What do you sleep in? Men’s pj pants and tank tops. Who was the last person you kissed? Sara. What are you listening to? I am fucking HOOKED on 3TEETH's cover of "Pumped Up Kicks." Do you prefer soupy noodles or noodles without the broth? Without. Have you ever missed someone but felt like they had other friends and didn't miss you as much as you did? This. Is the story of my motherfuckin life. I feel this all the time to a very deep level. Who, out of all your friends, do you hang with the most and could never get tired of him/her? Sara. Do you like the taste of white chocolate or does it taste kind of fake? Nooot a white chocolate fan. Too sweet. How would you react if you just found out your mom had an abortion before? I would be VERY surprised just given who she is and her adoration for children. Are your pets spayed/neutered? Yes. Hottest guy you know and actually talk to? I don’t regularly talk to any guy I consider “hot,” but the closest to that would be my friend Leon, whom I’ve always seen as very attractive. It is fucking UNCANNY, his resemblance to Leon Kennedy from the Resident Evil series. Like he’s dressed as him before and it is astonishing. Name sharing is a coincidence, too. What time of day do you like to shower? I don’t have a favored time anymore. I just do it when I feel like it at some point during the day, but pretty much never night anymore. I do think starting the morning with one though is great, though. When you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? Fries are almost guaranteed, but of course it depends on the type of food, too. What do you spend more money than necessary on? I don’t and never have had a stable source of income to answer this, really. What video game or computer game are you best at? Uhhh I’d probably be rusty with the Shadow of the Colossus controls by now, I’ve don’t have the maps or every puzzles memorized from the Silent Hill games, so I guess my answer’s World of Warcraft if I’m on my hunter. Not to flex but I’m a bomb-ass beast mastery hunter. Been my main in the game since I started in MoP. What do you keep your keys on? They’re in my purse on a keychain. Is your favorite color different than your favorite color to wear? Oh yeah. Do you buy books or get them from the library? Buy them. What section of the food pyramid do you neglect the most? Veggies for sure. What do you use your stovetop for most? Well, I don’t ever. Can you focus on studying if there's music on? No, I need silence. In what types of situations do you demand absolute silence? Well, see the above answer, for one. Also going to sleep. Well, maybe not, as I have a fan as kinda like white noise, but I can sleep without it. Did you do well at fitness testing in grade school? I didn’t score bad, but I wasn’t exceptional either. Do you own more shoes or less shoes than the average person? Less, I’m sure. Do you still have anything from when you were a baby? Yeah, up in the attic. I think my mom has some stuff that’s super important to her in a case somewhere. Do you use hairspray much? I never do. Are art museums interesting or boring to you? I enjoy them. What subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? Well, this is a difficult question to answer when you consider I think depending on your career focus as well as personal values and interests, this answer changes from person to person. Like for me, I could say I don’t give a shit about complex math, but advanced math courses would be valued by certain people down specific paths. But anyway, I’ll bite and say least necessary for *the most* people, in my opinion anyway. Gym. It’s very discriminatory towards people with more limited physical capabilities (and I don’t just mean literally disabled), and it’s also just very uncomfortable and/or embarrassing to some people. Like I’d fuckin cry if in my current state, I was forced to “run” a mile, because I physically couldn’t come even close. A person, a younger one especially, should never be subjected to humiliation at the hands of a class schools deem “necessary” when it absolutely is not. Okay I’m in a talkative mood and this is turning into an essay so I’mma move along now. When you were a kid, what games did you always play on the playground? I think for as long as I had recess, my go-to was ALWAYS the swings. I fucking loved swingsets. I loved playing 4 Square or whatever it was called. And then of course there was me digging tunnels in the sandboxes because I wanted to feel like a meerkat lmfao. Do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? For some reason, I still have this childlike excitement *early* into a power outage. Especially when it’s dark and we have to get out the candles, and I might play my old GameBoy or Nintendo DS, or I’ll probably just chill talking with Mom. However, that phase is pretty short nowadays, being a snake mama. My mind very quickly goes back to “Venus needs her lamp,” so as time passes, I get more anxious than annoyed. Basically, I’d rather not have one. Do you know how to use an ATM? … no lmao How about write a check? No. Are you pretty politically correct? To a degree I consider reasonable. Personally I find political correctness as having gone too far by now, but it’s certainly appropriate in some instances. What is one fashion trend you'll never understand? I… don’t really care to think much on this. Wear what makes you feel confident in yourself. There are things I think don’t look good, but they may look great to you, and it’s on your body, so guess whose opinion matters. What do you wear when you exercise? Oh yeesh. Just sweatpants and a tank top, normally. What is usually the last thing you do before you go to bed? I turn the brightness on my phone waaay down. I’m always going to wake up throughout the night and check the time, but I don’t want to be blinded.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #234

“don’t take care of me - be scared of me.”

Does it bother you when people beg? I mean, it depends on the consistency, intensity, and the subject. Do you ever eat cookie dough raw? I have, but salmonella will punish me some day. Are you one of those people who are always cold? I am the exact opposite. When was the last time you rode a rollercoaster? Pf, never. Don't want to. Do you like hot dogs? I hate the fact that I love them lol. Do you have any weird rings? I wouldn't consider any "weird," no. Have any bad addictions? Ugh, caffeine. Are you anything like your siblings? I am very, very different from my two immediate sisters. Ma says I'm extremely similar to Katie, my half-sister, though it's odd because we don't seem to agree on very much? I don't even think she likes me. When was the last time you shaved your legs? Literally not since like... February. It's not like anybody but family sees my legs anyway. It's just stupid societal expectations for a woman, and I've never been prone to obeying those to begin with. Do you like long bike rides? I used to LOVE riding my bike when I lived in the woods/by an almost-dead road, but I haven't that in... god, years. I don't even have that bike anymore. My knees would never, EVER survive riding one right now. Do you know someone who is blind? My sister is in one eye, but I can't remember which. Do you have a YouTube account? how else would I like every Mark video in existence and I wish I was kidding?????????????? How many cell phones have you had? No clue. Not many. Maybe like, four or so. When was the last time something bothered you? Yesterday 'cuz I was getting weird fuckin phone calls. Do you ever try free samples at the store? Sure, if they seem like something I'd like. Can you speak French or Spanish? No. What school year do you think will be/was the saddest? 8th. Anxiety and depression were getting bad, puberty was A Thing, confused about life in general and why all this sadness and fear was happening to me. Do you like boys with long hair? I mean this depends on the person, but in general, yes. I think I prefer it over shorter, in most cases. Have you ever had plum juice? No, but that sounds decent. If I can even remember what a plum tastes like... I loved them as a kid, haven't had one in like, years. Have you ever passed out? Once, almost twice not long after the first time. Was today someones birthday that you know? No. Have you drank any water today? A little bit. When was the last time you had a crowd at your house? Holy shit. Probably not since we MOVED here in '17. Are you worried about anything right now? When aren't I at least a bit worried about something, really. Are you keeping anything from your best friends right now? No. Do you currently have any mosquito bites? Not currently. A- blood, hell yeah man. Do you have Twitter? Yes. Literally to like. um. one somebody's stuff. If you found out you were pregnant, who would you tell? God FUCKING forbid. Obviously my family. Sara. If it was from consensual sex, I'd tell friends eventually. If it was, uh, any other way, probably not EVEN some family because there are some that would probably never speak to me again if I got an abortion. Is your driveway stone or pavement? Stone. Have you ever caught something on fire? Yeah. Y'know, s'mores, sparklers, wood when making a bonfire or something. Regular stuff. How many people have you kissed in a car? One or two. Idr if Sara and I ever have. Do you and your best friend have an inside joke? "buzzfeed" Do you have a gym membership? Not anymore. How long was your last shower? Not even ten minutes. Get clean and get out. What is your favorite color fingernail polish? I think red tends to be the prettiest. If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be of? Man, don't ask me this. I have a billion ideas. If I had the money for it though, I'd probably finally get this (Denialism) as a tat on my left upper arm next. It's like, my favorite drawing ever, and I've already gotten the artist's permission. What is the best fast food place, in your opinion? Sonic has had my heart lately. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? I just generally like vibrant and/or light blue eyes, but I really don't care about someone's eye color. What is your mom’s maiden name? Yeah, let's share that on the Internet. Would you rather receive balloons or flowers for valentine’s day? Flowers. Balloons are nothing but waste and wind up as litter anyway. Do you follow the crowd when it comes to trends or do your own thing? Do my own thing. Trends 'n shit don't matter to me; I don't care how "cool" or "uncool" something is. I like what I like. What is your worst bad habit? Assuming the worst of absolutely everything within .01 seconds. Do you believe in happily ever after? No. Things aren't always gonna be happy, sorry. What is your average phone bill? I don't know, Dad pays it. Which is better: chapstick or lip gloss? Chapstick. Have you ever been proposed to? No. Do you take certain medicine on a daily basis? A decent number. Have you ever seen two people together and you got sick to your stomach? I remember seeing a picture of Jason and his girlfriend after me once after they got together and I. Don't know how to describe that feeling. I think I felt more murderous than anything. Do you prefer laptops or desktop computers? Laptops for portability's sake. Have you ever had a really bad haircut? Looking back, the haircut I had before this one wasn't great. Only at some angles did it look good. I mean I don't regret it though, it's how I realized I think I'd like short hair. Did you ever order any clothes from the Alloy catalog? Never heard of them. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I love black eyeliner, but I don't have any favorite brands. I hate liquid, though. My hands aren't steady enough for that, and it's just messy. What’s your favorite type of yogurt? Meh, not a big fan. Idk. Do you have any overdue library books right now? No. Do you have a piggy bank? No. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? Nope. Do you own plaid pants? No. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? Yeah, through all of middle school. What was your high school’s mascot? A firebird. Who were your best friends in high school? I had various ones. Excluding The Ex, there was Hannia, Alon, Megan, Maria, Girt... There was a few. Have you ever been to Chicago? Once, with Sara and her dad. At night. And the lights and cars and shops and towers and everything was too much for my rural ass. I'm not a city person, but because it was SO different and just incredible in scope and all, I still thought it was absolutely beautiful and so exciting. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom. When my sister and I were little and shared a room though, I almost always had the top bunk. As I got older though, that inverted. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I THINK Aaron did once, but I can't remember for sure. Are you close with your cousins? No. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Not especially, but only because, like my cousins, I pretty much never see them. Are you close to your grandparents? All but one is dead, and that one is dying. Barely knew any, save for my remaining grandmother, and we've never gotten along well/agreed on much, but I mean, I still care for her. I also pretty much never saw her. Who betrayed your trust? Plenty of people. Who was your first best friend (apart from a sibling)? Brianna. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? I don't know. Probably play make-believe or go swimming. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Normal with butter and salt. Does your town have a big fountain in it? The next town over does. What is your town known for? "You mean Tennessee?" Don't think that's too much of a giveaway. What’s one way in which you’re still a child? I am very dependent on Mom. What’s one way in which you’re old? My knees are at least 107. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? gooooooood take me to get a tatTOOOOOOO What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Mom buying tickets to the Ozzy concert next year alksdjfalwe. I've been losing my fucking mind since the new single came out and album was announced. Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I'm not a vengeful person at all, really. I tend to forgive. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? English has always been a breeze, and usually science. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? Just about anyone looks better with dyed hair to me. I just like colorful, interesting hair. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Yes. I was born dirty blonde. Do you own an American flag shirt? No. Do you own a British flag shirt? No. Do you have a seashell collection? No. We used to have a box of them, though. Do you have a rock collection? No. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Just chill. Casually swim around aimlessly. Cacti or seashells? Hmmmm. I think seashells, but that's tough. Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? MAN, this depends on the design. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? The only one I have that I consider the absolute *perfect* moment was at Ashley's gender reveal when she and her husband found out the baby is a girl. Her face especially is priceless. What color was your first car? N/A Was your first car used or new? N/A What was the last thing you said in complete caps? HAHAHA I sent Sara a fucking CURSED picture of Pennywise as a good morning text. Do you enjoy playing board games? Not really. Are you good at playing Hide and Go Seek? I guess I was as a kid. I'm sure I wouldn't be now. Elephants can't really hide. :^) Do you live in an apartment or a house? A house. Is there a music artist that never ceases to amaze you? As far as truly *amaze* goes, probably Amy Lee. Her voice is just fucking incredible. What is your favorite term of endearment? Probably "love." Or "dear." I dunno. Do you like Twizzlers? NO. They're gross as hell. Do you sneak in candy/soda when you go to the movies? Yeup. Fuck those prices. What was the last song you had on repeat? I adore Ozzy's new "Under The Graveyard" beyond words and so have been binging it like mad since yesterday lmao. Where are your favorite pair of jeans from? I don't have jeans. Do you tap your foot when you listen to music? No. If I respond to it in any voluntary way, I'll most likely be tapping my hand with the beat. Will you get your hair cut anytime soon? I need to, yeah. I hate when my hair starts getting long enough to curl a tad upwards in the back. Are you uncoordinated? VERY. Have you ever listened to Jane’s Addiction? I know and enjoy "Jane Says" and "Been Caught Stealing." What’s the worst thing you’ve ever experienced? Heartbreak. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? I dunno, there's a lot. Do you write “Dear Diary” when you write in your diary? I don't have a diary. I don't think I ever did. What is your escape from your problems? Music, playing WoW, stuff like that. Just give me a distraction. Do you watch YouTube videos a lot? Literally every day throughout the day. It's at least background noise. Do you have an embarrassing period story? No, thankfully. Would your life be at risk if someone knew everything about you? No. Is your life at risk? I mean, more than like by disease, some psycho, an accident, shit like that, no? Do you feel safe in your hometown? No. Never did. I miss our house and the childhood memories, but that place was dangerous. Where do you dream of moving to? The mountains of NC. What fascinates you more: outer space or the bottom of the ocean? Space. Have you ever seen a UFO? I guess by the definition of "unidentified flying object," yes, but I think it was some sort of natural phenomenon with a star, not an alien. Maybe. Does anyone encourage you to go after your dreams? Yeah. :') What is the stupidest thing anyone’s ever said to you? "i'Ll AlWaYs LoVe YoU, bRiTtAnY!" What’s the most amount of weight you’ve gained from a medication? LET'S. FUCKING. NOT. Do you name inanimate objects? No. What do you think the constellations mean? "Nothing? Just humanity reaching to ascribe some type of meaningfulness to the world around them." <<<< This, I like this. Did you like the venue your senior prom was held at? I mean it was at the local college's gym. Nothing special. Which spelling do you like best: Hayley, Hailey, or Haley? Hm, I think "Hailey." Which name is better: Hailey, Bailey, Kailey, or Shailey? Ummmmm I think "Kailey." Are you mad at someone? I'm always going to be mad to a degree. Do you feel like your life was stolen from you? I guess in a way by mental illness? Do you have a professional camera? Yeah. What would you change about your hair? Ugh, I want to COLOR it. I really want silver hair atm. When was the last time you changed your hairstyle? Last year. Do you like rose gold? I love it. What’s your favorite color gummy bear? I don't... care? Oh wait, maybe green. Those normally have an apple kinda feel, right? Or do they all thaste the same? What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body? I like s h o u l d e r b l a d e s. Have you ever made up/sang a song for someone you cared about? Only ever poems. Ever had a song sang about/for you? I mean, I've had like songs /dedicated/ to me, but never actually made for me specifically. What is your middle name? Marie. Like every other white girl known to man. What do you smell like? My house, I guess? Ever hurt yourself playing Wii? I don't believe so. Do you have freckles? Not on my face, but random ones on the rest of my body, yeah. Can you do the alphabet in sign language? No. Do you like your feet? I seriously hate feet. That includes mine. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth? uhhhhhhhhh Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shorty" instead of "girl"? Ugh no, thank Christ. Have you ever sent an embarrassing moment of yours into a mag to be printed? No. What IS your most embarrassing moment? I've told it before but now I don't remember it??? What’s the last thing to make you scream? Like a small, quick one, I think a loud noise scared me. I've been extremely sensitive to those lately and idk why??? Do your parents knock before coming in, or just barge on in? My door's never really closed, but when it is, Mom doesn't. Dad does. Do you think you’re more cute or sexy? BOY neither. Do you own any mini skirts? Bitch I wish I could wear mini skirts but I would blind people with my body rn. Do you draw little hearts and stuff with eyeliner next to your eyes? Nah. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever lost? Good question, idk. Has your mom ever lied to you? Yeah. Do you have a deep voice? It's definitely deep for a girl, but it's not like, manly. When’s the last time someone made breakfast for you? I guess the last time I was out for breakfast? Idr. When someone knocks on the door, who do you think it is? A mailman/woman. No one else comes here unexpectedly. Has anyone ever licked your foot? UM NO Do you play games with boys/girls, like "hard to get"? I never did and never will. I'm definitely not easy, but I don't play games. Oh wait, unless we're already a serious couple and I'm sexually being a tease. Hobby. When’s the last time someone told you they were in love with you? Some time back. Is there a Sonic where you live? mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM- Do you smile with your teeth? Usually. What do you like on your pizza? Pepperoni, jalapenos, sausage... stuff like that. I'm WEAK for meat lovers pizza sobs heavily in wanna-be vegetarian Do you know anyone who lives in Newfoundland? No. How ‘bout Alberta? No. Anyone in Canada at all? Yeah, a friend's ex. She's cool. If you could trade houses with a friend, who would it be? I wouldn't damn anyone with this house, lol. I mean it's not bad, it just has its issues. Are you a good person to come to for advice? It depends on the subject we're talkin' here. Do you sleep naked? No. I'd feel so vulnerable. Favorite place you've been: Through the NC mountains. Which of your Facebook friends lives closest to you? UHHHHHHHHH how do I not know this?? When was the last time you cried? Idr, actually. Who took your profile pic? Where? What’s your favorite season? Autumn. What was the last book you read? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. Fucking read it. Are you a good influence? This also depends on the area of focus. Does pineapple belong on pizza? NO. Sweet and savory do noooot mix in my world.