#idk why but ive been thinking of my scars a bunch again lately

[naomithegiraffe]

,

[cottage-babe]

Burning Scars part IV

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Masterlist

I’ve been watching haikyuu and Nishinoya is so cute :(((

This chapter is going to fill in pretty much EVERYTHING related to Y/n’s past. also i feel like this shorter than my other chapters idk

Summary: Y/n, a werewolf from a hidden village, comes across Zuko and Iroh after being exiled. How has fate intertwined the wolf into the avatar's destiny?

*****This chapter takes place on Season 2 Episode 11*****

___

“Thank you,” Y/n said as she accepted the cup of tea from Mushi. 

The boys were surprisingly welcoming to her. Lee had begun to ask questions as soon as she came up to them, but his uncle had told him to stop and let her speak. He set up a pot of tea and had now given some to the young teens. 

All throughout the wait for the drink, Y/n’s mind was racing. Where does she start? How much does she tell them? The girl desperately wanted to come clean, but her loyalty to her pack deterred her. However, she knew that she had no obligations anymore, so why was she still so stuck on them?

Mushi took the spot next to Lee and quietly sipped his drink. His eyes weren’t on her, but she could feel that his desire for answers was just as strong as Lee’s. 

She took a deep breath and started her story.

“So I’m a- uh- werewolf.”

Silence. 

The girl knew that she probably should’ve continued from there, but she couldn’t help but wait for their reactions. Or rather, lack thereof. 

Y/n didn’t want to look up at their faces. If she did, she knew that their facial expressions would cause her to assume things and she didn’t want to guess their emotions; if they felt something, then they would need to say it. 

“Oh, well, we know that much!” The uncle laughed lightly, breaking the obvious tension. 

“But Uncle, I thought you said they were only myths; fiction.” Lee questioned.

“What more proof do you need? She’s a living, breathing piece of evidence!”

The teen nodded his head as he thought about that logic. Y/n assumed that it would be hard for him to process; just yesterday he had heard the story and now there she was, telling him that it wasn’t a myth, it was completely real and in front of him. 

“So, are you the only one? Or are there more?” Lee thought for a moment. “Wait, no, you mentioned a town before; there’s a whole village of werewolves?!”

I have no obligations toward my pack. I have no obligations toward my pack. I have no obligations toward my pack. 

“Yes,” she said confidently. It was about time that she went past her fear of her pack. They could no longer control her, she was her own person who could make her own decisions. 

But they’re your family.

Y/n shook the thought out of her head. Family doesn’t treat family that way. 

“Don’t ask me where they live or anything, because I won’t speak it.” Y/n succumbed to her guilty side slightly, hoping it would soothe her small feelings of regret. 

“We won’t, we promise,” Mushi said while sending a stern stare toward Lee. The boy nodded his head once again. 

Lee continued with his questions, though. “Why aren’t you with them then? You came to us two days ago, alone. Did something happen?”

Why does he ask so many questions?

She supposed that if she wanted to maintain their trust, she would have to wipe the slate clean; no more lies and no more hiding. They already knew that her kind existed, so there was no way that she would let them leave her behind. 

“In my pack, there’s a rite of passage that we must do when we turn 16...”

___

This was it. The day that everyone in the pack was waiting for. 

The L/n children’s Days of Trials. 

The morning had started wildly; their mom had helped clean the fur of all five of her “pups” while they watched decorations and food being prepared from afar. The village was quite small and had wooden huts for each family. Each one had a large leaf door that slid close for privacy; they had evolved a lot since their original days. Almost everyone in the pack was helping set up, except for the male Alpha.

That man just so happened to be their father; the exact reason why everyone was making such a big fuss over today. The Alpha’s children were going to be doing their trials to prove their worth to the pack. Some of the other wolves were excited and curious to see how the days would pan out; recently, there had been a spike of children who couldn’t complete the tasks assigned. 

However, there were many members who didn’t quite care for the right of passages. Every time the children of their leaders undergo the trials, they pass with flying colors. Never has there been a “royal” family child that didn’t meet the standards that were put up. 

Half of the workers around were in their human bodies to put up the decor while the other half were using their wolf’s to carry heavy things. It was a beautiful harmony that Y/n enjoyed on the Days of Trials; no one in the pack was looked down on for using their human skins. People would only use what was convenient. 

The five teen’s mother changed down to her human form. Her children copied her actions.

Their mother had long, overgrown hair and lively eyes. She was the kindest mother that the kids could ever dream of having. The wrinkles that surrounded her eyes not only showed age, but her strong, wise experience. She was absolutely perfect. 

Mother sighed as she looked at each one of her kids in the eyes.

“I want all of you to know that no matter what happens, I am proud of you,” she smiled so sweetly. “You worked so hard to be here and no amount of trials can take that away.”

Just as she said that, someone called for her aid and she had to leave, but not before leaving a kiss on all five of her kid’s foreheads. 

Soon, the siblings were left alone. 

“I-I don’t know if I can do this,” Fen spoke while trying to even out his erratic breaths. “It just feels so wrong to lie like this.”

Ayano rubbed Fen’s back to try and calm him. Then, Binu spoke up.

“I hate to agree with him, but he’s kinda right. Mom’s worried about our safety while we’re here with a secure plan? It feels sick to let her be so scared.”

Shong crossed his arms with a glare. “Don’t be dumb, guys. Our plan makes it so we all come out alive. If anything, we’re doing her a favor.”

They’re tall brother spoke some truths. The siblings had devised a scheme a long time ago to ensure that each member completed their tasks efficiently and met the bare minimums. 

They’re first task would be to go out and hunt a total of three animals before the sun rose to the center of the sky, signaling noon. Y/n and Binu were the best hunter’s of the family; while Y/n took hiding in the shadows easy, Binu was fast enough to outrun any animal. The two would use their skills to help the other’s catch their prey and make it back before their time ended.

Then, their next task would be working as a group to capture something that belonged to an opposite group (sort of like capture the flag). It was meant to see if the group could work together nicely and form a strategy. Luckily for them, Shong was very smart and him with the combination of Ayano would be able to easily make up a plan for any situation. 

Lastly, the five siblings would have to fight head on with each other and gain a total of two wins. They weren’t aware of the line up, but the siblings knew that no matter who went up against who, they would stick to the plan.

If they didn’t, then members of their family could be gone forever. 

___

“Ahh, I see,” Mushi said once the girl took a pause in her story to drink her tea, “Your plan didn’t work, then?”

Y/n shook her head softly and spoke quietly. “No, no. It did work. We made it past the first two trials so quickly, we almost broke a record.” A frown slowly set upon her face. “It was just at the third trial that things didn’t go as smoothly...”

___

“I think a congratulations is in order!” Ayano yelled as she held her wooden cup up into the air. 

Y/n let out a laugh and grabbed her sister’s arm. “We haven’t even finished everything yet. The last Test is tomorrow, so maybe you should get some sleep.”

Her siblings were, to say the least, drunk. 

One of them (at this point, Y/n couldn’t remember who) had stolen some liquor and brought it to the brothers and sisters. They all had a couple drinks, but Y/n and Fen seemed to be the only ones smart enough to remember what tomorrow was. 

They had finished the first day of the Trials; they had assumed that it would be the hardest due to the randomness of it, but it had seemed fairly easy. 

Many say that the Days of Trials were never meant to be hard, they just weeded out the absolute weakest of a bunch. Y/n wasn’t entirely sure how other’s had failed the tasks, but she didn’t like to think much of it. 

There were rumors of what had happened to the werewolves that didn’t pass. Some say that they were forced to live in solitude for the rest of their lives... others say that the pack’s fighters chase them down for fun. 

It was a little alarming that not even she, daughter of a family who is ranked so high, knew what happened to those poor wolves. 

Ayano clumsily transformed into her wolf skin and whined softly. Y/n sighed before looking at Fen. 

“You can take care of the other boys, right?”

He gave her a small salute. “Yup, I got it.”

She was about to help her sister out before Fen began to talk again. Y/n turned around to see Binu on the floor, but Shong was no where to be seen. 

“Uhh... you wouldn’t happen to know where Shong is, Y/n?”

The girl groaned in exasperation and dropped her sister onto the floor. 

Just as the brother and sister were about to leave their hut to search for him, the man in question pushed his way passed the hanging door and paused when he met their stare. 

“Dude, we were about to go look for you.” Fen groaned out, then went to the passed out Binu on the floor. “Help me bring him to our room.”

And with that, the two semi-sober siblings completely ignored Shong’s time of leave, despite knowing that no one else in their pack was awake that late into the night. 

The next afternoon, the five of them rushed to a big, open center where the rest of the pack was surrounding. Almost everyone was in their wolf skins, so they copied the actions of their fellow members. It was there that the children learned of the order that they were fighting in. 

There would be ten matches: each teen going against each of their siblings. A battle would be won once the victor gets their opponent outside of the circle. This trial was supposed to be the easiest for the five brothers and sisters. Emphasis on supposed.

Their fights went semi-smoothly.

At first, it was hard for the wolves to pretend to fight. They attacked each other like it was their dying wish, but in reality it was all a part of their plan. 

Just two wins each, that’s all they needed. 

By the time seven matches finished, Binu had already received his two wins; the rest of his fights ended with him losing dramatically as if he were in a play. Shong also had his two wins, but he still had to fight two more rounds and give his opponents the victory. 

The eighth battle was between Shong and Fen.

Fen only had one win under his belt, which meant that Shong would need to lose. Y/n knew what her tall brother’s tactic was when he need to lose the fight; he would put on a huge show to demonstrate his strength, then would pretend to make a misstep that costs him the win. It was extremely entertaining for the crowd. 

The siblings waited on the outskirts of the circle with the rest of the pack. The wolves around them were howling and barking in excitement. It was going to be such an amazing fight; Fen was seen as a weak asset and it seemed like Shong was going to completely destroy him.

The two sisters shared a look that said exactly what they were both thinking: if only the pack knew what was really going to happen. 

And with that, the teen’s father let out a bellowing howl; the signal for the battle to begin. 

Shong began his usual wolf dance. He skirted around each of Fen’s attacks and landed soft, teasing blows to his brother’s hide. He would only let Fen hit or bite him every once in a while, his only goal being to feed the crowd’s desire for a difficult fight. 

‘Okay, this is it.’ Y/n thought to herself, ‘Right about now, Shong should let Fen win.’

Just as the thought crossed her mind, her tall brother stopped his antics. It was a bit too sudden and the crowed around them let out a confused noise. It seemed as though Shong was... looking at someone. 

The girl followed his gaze all the way until it landed on their father. From her position, she couldn’t quite see the silent conversation they were having, but it seemed important. 

It was then that Fen struck. 

He pounced on his brother and shoved him straight out of the circle. 

It was silent for a moment, but eventually the noise flew up and cheered for the weaker sibling. It was a true display of power, even of the two hadn’t planned it. 

The look on Shong’s face was indescribable. It was a mixture between sad, angry, happy, and... something else. It was like every contradicting emotion was running through the wolf’s system. 

‘Why is he acting like that? This loss isn’t any different from the other ones.’

___

“I should’ve seen what was coming next,” Y/n spoke. “With the way he was acting... I just never expected him to be the one that broke all of us apart.”

___

It was the middle of the ninth match. 

Shong was up again, for the final time, but was against Ayano. 

Now, their sister wasn’t a force to be reckoned with. There were multiple times that she had fought one of the pack members for bullying a sibling (mainly Fen or Y/n). She wasn’t the strongest or the smartest or the fastest, but she made up for her weaknesses with her quick thinking. Her mind connected dots faster than all of her siblings combined and it’s what made her standout. Ayano’s passion and fast brain made her a threat to some of the strategists that lead beside their father. 

The duo’s red eyes glared at each other, circling the edges of the ring while they waited for the other to pounce. In this round, Ayano would receive her final win from her brother and complete her trial. 

But why was that look still molded into Shong’s face? He had death in his eyes instead of the playfulness that should’ve existed there. Something’s not right. 

Y/n desperately wanted to warn her sister, but if she mentioned anything about their plan, then they would all be banished for treason. It was best to just let it all play out. 

Maybe their brother just got really good at acting. 

Shong then jumped at Ayano, but the girl dodged it with milliseconds to spare. The brother almost slid out of the circle with the velocity of his jump, but slowed down in time. They both growled at each other.

The same actions repeated itself for the next couple of minutes; one would jump and the other would dodge. It really seemed like they were trying to kill the other, even with Y/n knowing who was supposed to win. It was terrifying. 

The brother and sister looked as though they were evenly matched. They predicted the other’s movements like it was their own; they danced as if they had practiced this for hours. 

However, the two weren’t the same. Shong was strong and had a everlasting stamina. Ayano didn’t.

The entire crowd could see that Ayano was growing tired. Her movements were turning sluggish and it was taking her longer and longer to dodge any attacks. 

Why isn’t Shong letting her win yet?

By now, Shong should’ve done his “misstep” and lost, but he seemed so persistent on his jumps.

Then, as some twisted, sick peice of fate, their brother pounced and Ayano was too exhausted to move out of the way. She let him drag her out of the ring, her body falling limp. 

Shong had one, which meant he got three wins; effectively stealing it from Ayano. 

That meant that in the last round of Y/n vs Ayano, one sister would be met with the doom of banishment for the rest of their lives.

___

“And so we fought. I let her win. End of story.”

Y/n set down her empty tea cup and looked at the two men in front of her. They were so invested in her story that they had forgotten about their own drinks. Steam and heat no longer rose from the small cups, it instead being a cold, lifeless collection of flavored water. 

“Is that- Is she the reason you got hurt?” Lee asked, his voice hoarse from not speaking for a while.

“Uhh, yeah.” She wrung her hands. “Its a rule in my pack: when someone’s banished, they have to have something like that visible on them, so they can never come back. It was only a coincidence that my sister was the one that gave it to me.”

“I am so sorry you had to go through that, Y/n,” Mushi whispered with a frown set on his face. The girl shrugged her shoulders in response.

“I mean, it’s better that it was me and not her. Her navigation skills are subpar, so she would’ve been so lost out here,” she forced a laugh. 

Mushi just his head in disbelief while Lee stared at the ground, lost in thought. It made her wonder what was going on in that head of his. 

Y/n really hoped that she had made the right decision by telling them the truth. It’s not like anyone would believe these two random travelers if they ever mentioned it. But still, the thought of them telling a town and having her pack torn apart made her shudder. 

Lee stood up suddenly. 

It surprised the two other people, but they quickly regained their focus as the teen began to speak. 

“I think you should stay with us, like for the long run,” he said confidently. “You could help us out a lot, and I think that we could help you.”

“Okay!” She stood up excitedly as well. This was the exact thing that she had been hoping for.

“And, of course, Lee,” Mushi interrupted, “shouldn’t that mean that we tell her the truth about us as well?”

Y/n was almost certain that whatever secret they had couldn’t be as bad as hiding being a werewolf. 

The boy puffed out his chest and nodded his head. 

“My real name is Prince Zuko and this is my Uncle, General Iroh. We are both from the fire nation.”

Silence.

There were many things running through the girl’s head, but the main one being Oh, so that’s why Mushi yelled out Zuko yesterday!

It took her a moment, but eventually she found something to say.

“You’re a prince? Should I bow or something?”

Le- or- Zuko deflated slightly at her words.

“Is that really all that you have to say?”

Iroh let out a hearty laugh at his nephew’s reaction. He quickly picked up their tea pot and cups while the two teens talked. 

“And that ‘fire nation’ stuff, does that have to do with that magic thing you did yesterday?” The girl asked with a tilt of her head. This cause him to shrink even more.

“Y-you mean my bending?”

“Bending? What is tha-”

The girl paused as her ears caught a soft thumping sound; almost identical to the one that awoke her that morning. 

Those people must be coming back.

She quickly warned the duo and helped them pack up their things. Just as the noise grew closer and closer, the three of them jumped on their ostrich-horses (in the same positions as they had the day before) and rode out before the group of men could find them again. 

Iroh laughed from his horse beside them. “Maybe I should’ve stayed, it was nice to see old friends.”

“Too bad you don’t have any old friends that don’t want to attack you.” Zuko groaned front his seat in front of Y/n. 

The three of them were riding pretty fast, so Y/n had her arms gripped around the boy’s torso. He had stiffened at first, but slowly relaxed at her touch. 

“Hmm... Old friends that don’t want to attack me...” 

___

thanks for sticking w me guys <3

even if you skipped past the memories like i know some do, i appreciate you reading this :)

anyways might actually have some cutesy stuff next chapter so wait till next week to read it <33

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Masterlist

Taglist: @bucky-blogs @hopefuloperaangelnerd @simplyfandomish @oddlypointlessescapes @lozzybowe ((bolded couldn’t be tagged))

[kin-glomerate]

kin memory dump from discord

because the second i get memories i report them to the kin chat in the jojo server

under cut for length. most copy-pasted directly from chatlogs so theyre a bit odd/clunky

secco memories

was missing a bunch of vaccinations from late childhood so cioccolata got me up to date on them

just sort of a memory of standing in the bathroom with my leg propped up on the edge of the sink so cioccolata could give me some sort of shot in my thigh (hrt???? idk, knowing us it couldve been some sort of local anesthetic or something) and after the actual injection he just fuckin...... patted my leg and left the room??????????

i needed my wisdom teeth out, like so bad i was struggling to eat and wouldnt let cioccolata touch my face because of the pain. think i tried to fight him when he was trying to check things out. dont remember much about the actual removal other than him basically having to bribe me into it and it had to happen asap. i think it was somebody who specialized in oral surgery, one of cioccolata's work associates rather than him doing it himself i think??? do remember coming to after it and cio was petting my head and said something like "isnt that better? that wasn't so hard, was it?" but like i couldnt really answer because i a) couldnt feel my mouth on all the painkillers/anaesthetic and b) my mouth was full of gauze. a bit into the healing process when i could finally not have a mouth filled with cotton balls and blood, he got weirdly gushy/excited about being able to look in my mouth and see the stitches

me and cioccolata were doing our thing, you know, snuff films and such and i asked the guy we're busy cutting open something. i wasnt really expecting him to say anything but cioccolata got kind of annoyed at the dude for "being rude" and not answering me

i dont have oasis on so its either before i got my stand or ive just dispelled it for whatever reason (probably by request if thats the case). its very possible im not wearing anything/just wearing underwear??? again not sure why but i know im inside the house, though i cant quite tell if its the bathroom (specifically the tub), the lab (on the surgical table), or the bedroom (either on the bed or sitting at a vanity) anyway- so cioccolata's standing sort of behind me diagonally so hes like just out of my peripheral vision but hes still close enough to be well in arms reach, like directly over my shoulder and im just sort of pliable for the time being (just chillin, not making any sort of movement on my own unless he asks me to demonstrate something) so hes just going through motions pointing and tracing/touching and moving parts of my body and talking about nerve endings and stuff and i dont really retain much of it if im honest with you, it just sounds like pleasant babble and he moves from my arms to talking about the spine and gets up to that soft spot where the vertebra connects to the skull and instead of the just normal steady pressure hes been applying to all the other joints and stuff he sort of absentmindedly rubs circles around it with his middle and ring finger while he talked a bit about the spinal column/brainstem and what all it controls and stuff before he mentioned how the brainstem is one of the human body's "off switches" then just sort of chuckled a little bit and patted my head

mikitaka memories (confirmed!!)

hazamada would usually answer my questions about earth no matter what they were

my friends (josuke, okuyasu, koichi, hazamada, yukako) trying to explain gender to me and it was all very confusing because alien-human disconnect on top of it being the 90s

killer queen memory

reimi was on the phone when she died. she was trying to call for help

gelato memory

watching sorbet sit somewhere, coffee mug in hand, shirtless, thinking something over hard enough his face got that sort of so-intense-its-almost-vacant look. just absentmindedly holding his empty hand up to his chest and brushing his thumb of his left pec. and i couldnt see it at first but theres this light bit of scarring there from a knife carving into it- "gelato". i feel weirdly guilty about it, like i cant remember leaving any other purposeful scars on him, and i get the sinking feeling that when i left that one it hurt. really hurt. and i vaguely remember him noticing me staring and coming over to kiss my forehead and remind me he asked me to do it

[wclfgurl]

& .   ✧   ›   MEETING ARYA !

✦ ▓ AND WHO GOES THERE? oh, it’s just [ ARYA STARK ]. some say [ HER ] resemblance to [ MADISON BAILEY ] is almost uncanny, but the [ TWENTY-THREE ] year old has been in the capital for [ TWO YEARS ]. many suspect that they are the notorious [ CORPORAL ] of the [ STARK ] family: perhaps that has made them [ DISCOURTEOUS ] && [ IMPUDENT ] of late, when they used to be so [ BRAZEN ] && [ ASTUTE ]. during the daylight hours, [ ARYA ] can be found working as a [ UNI STUDENT ], but when night falls over king’s landing, they are best remembered listening to [ RUN BOY RUN BY WOODKID ]. may the gods be with them in these dark streets. ( attina. 24. cst. she/her. )

hey there demons, it’s me. ya boi ! i’m attina and i’m here to create chaos. please slap a like on this if you want to plot and i’ll come at you. there are a bunch of wanted connections listed at the end so if any of them seem to scream at you, please feel free to yell at me ! my discord is ty lee#5523 so feel free to use that for plotting if you wish ! full disclosure, i don’t remember shite about game of thrones and never finished the season finale nor read the books but i’m here to vibe anyways !

& .   ✧   ›  I. THE BASICS !

full name › arya stark.

nickname(s) › arry, no-name, dead girl, horseface, wolf girl.

age › twenty-three ( 23 ).

d.o.b. › december 12, 1997.

gender › cis-female.

pronouns › she/her.

allegiance › the starks.

occupation › university student ( undetermined degree ). 

current location › king’s landing.

& .   ✧   ›  II. THE BIOGRAPHY !

your mother was once so excited when a little girl joined the family once more. thrilled to have another to dress in all pink, teach the ways of a lady, and become one more little her. too bad the child would have other plans. you were never meant to be the prim and proper lady that your mother expected. not when running around wolves was far more exciting. you didn’t have time for the lessons your mother tried to bestrode onto you, disinterested in spending hours with some yarn. you rather use the needle for something that your mother strongly disapproves of. that’s what really gets you going; doing things your mother states to be vile. 

the years growing up weren’t without bruises and stains. you have scars filled with stories that you tell with a wide grin on your face. proof that you are the one still standing and whatever --- or whoever --- gave them to you succumbed to your victory. you have spent plenty of time in the principals office for fights that you never started but certainly ended. you don’t mind the bruised knuckles the battles gave you. it was completely worth the look on their faces when you took them down.

when you were a teenager, rebellion was in your blood. you did what it took to defy the law. breaking and entering abandoned buildings were a good after school activity for you, running from the police was just a nice jog in the middle of the night. you kept a kill list for everyone that has done you wrong --- most of the names on there were for petty reasons but not billy. you still fucking hate billy. you still have that kill list, though more prominent names are on there now. ones that have harmed your family in one way or another. that’s one thing you don’t fuck around with and that’s family. 

it doesn’t matter how much you felt like an outsider with your siblings; they are still your blood. your loyalty lies with your family and if anyone messes with them, they are immediately pissing you off. the only one allowed to mess with your siblings, including sansa, is you and you’re not afraid to make that known. you will fight tooth and nail for any member of your family, including those loyal to your family. that is, until you prove to be a traitor. that’s one way to get their name written on your list.

despite the loyalty you have for the starks, it didn’t stop you from disappearing two years ago. you told a few people but really, you just had a desire to see a part of the world. just for a year. call it a break from university if you will. studying abroad, if that helps your mother sleep at night. you came back as per agreement with your father and yet, you still wish to be gone. there was so much more that you haven’t seen and the classes that you’re taking are just dull in comparison. is it too much to wish for a different path for yourself?

but that’s something you never dare say. instead you keep your hit list close to your heart in case an opportunity presents itself and you continue doing what you want when you want it. that includes any duties you’re given. you do as you please, speak your mind to whomever, and post tiktoks for the hell of it. 

& .   ✧   ›  III. THE FACTS !

yeah that’s right, arya stark is a tiktoker. honestly fight me? she’s a gen x’er what do you expect? her tik toks are probably one way that her family realizes she was still alive during that year of traveling. is she a famous tiktoker or whatever you call them? hell yeah and you can quote me on that.

her weapon of choice is a small rapier nicknamed needle gifted to her by jon snow.

she has no idea what to study in uni and none of it really appeals to her? she finds it all boring. which is probably why she’s often skipping classes, turning assignments in late, or plain not doing a thing in that class. definitely an argument she has with her mother every day is about uni. 

arya joined the organisation as a corporal as a request from her father, utilizing her skills, and a big f-- u to her mother. because honestly isn’t that what life is all about? 

she has a siberian husky named nymeria ofc.

rebel for rebel’s sake; she’s definitely spray painted buildings before. probably has been arrested as a minor. it’s fine though. everythinG’S FINE.

personality wise; arya is loud and proud. she’s never one to stray from speaking her mind despite the turmoil it may cause. think the girl cares if she hurts your feelings?? probably not but maybe a little and only if you actually cared about what she thought. listen, it’s complicated and so is she. she doesn’t believe in happy ever afters but looks more realistically, and potentially more emotionally as she doesn’t mind keeping a grudge and doing things that would end a grudge in a not forgiving way (murdah is fun)! she thrives on making her ancestors ( mother & sister ) disappointed in her but also it hurts when they are? its fine, she’ll worry about those complicated emotions later. 

& .   ✧   ›  IV. THE CONNECTIONS !

what the fuck is up kyle › negative; their paths have crossed once or twice before and each meeting has never been a pleasant one. arya doesn’t try to hide their displeasure when face to face whether it’s public or private. there is a solid chance that they are on her hit list for a petty reason.  i’m in my mum’s car. broom broom › positive; listen, arya isn’t heartless idk what made you think that. she has a heart, she just doesn’t know how to express emotions and rather vanish for a year than face people again. but listen, this character is someone who has seemed to break through her shell. whether or not that’s a good thing is up for debate. wtf, is this allowed? is this allowed? › romantic; romance isn’t something that arya daydreams about but man, she fell and she fell hard. they were just meant to be a nice distraction but here she is, acting like something that she’s not. first loves are a scary thing and she would much rather just pretend that they are just for fun. i’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me › negative; political parties aren’t something that arya cares too much about, but she does give a damn if someone hates her family for whatever reason that is. it doesn’t matter that they are on opposite sides, what matters is your mom’s a ho. but in all seriousness, prepare for some stink eye and arya badmouthing them. zach stop! you’re gonna get in trouble › positive; listen. even arya needs someone that she might be a good influence towards. the one person who is like hmmmm, maybe not a good idea right now. however, they are still creating havoc together for the vine ( rip vine ) tiktok.  stahp! i coulda dropped my croissant › romantic; distractions and fun times and maybe doing things that you’re mother doesn’t approve of, that’s the arya way! and this one really is just a booty call. it doesn’t matter what side they may support, that’s not what they are talking about, if they are even speaking, when they’re meeting up.

[azaraspirit]

Shazam a p.p. x reader au

so heres a possible series ive been working on??? its a shazam au where the reader harness’s the power of shazam and peter is her best friend. idk much about shazam(all based off from what ive seen in the trailer and the little ive seen in young justice lol). probably gonna have to do some research lol

tagging my friends @lovelyspidey @spxderbarnes idk who else to tag sorry

*

If someone were tell you that were gonna be a superhero you would have laughed in their face. Surely you knew the avengers and your best friend was Spider-Man, but you actually wearing a cape? Now that was just a bunch of crazy talk.

But nope. Here you were in your cape and shiny new suit.

“What? What happened?” You murmured, trying to regain your composure. Something didn’t feel right. Your voice, deeper, more mature. You managed to stand up and-whoa, did you hit a growth spurt? Why do you feel so much taller?

You looked down at your arms and limbs, realizing you were wearing some kind if red and white suit with a glowing lightning bolt in the center? Also your hands were bigger.

“What?” You looked around in the alley you found yourself in, trying to gain your surroundings. You scurried over to a broken mirror, leaning against dumpster.

You shouted seeing not you but and older woman, probably in her thirties. “I am so confused.” Her mouth moved at the same time yours did. You stared at the mirror, realizing that this older woman was you. But how? You were just a kid.

“A cape?” You whirled around a few times in a circle trying to grab it. You felt the soft material in your hand. “I don’t remember buying this on Amazon.”

Then it hit you. Peter. He would know what to do!

You stepped out of the alley way try and figure out where you were. You quickly realized his apartment wasn’t far. It was night time so the street was rather empty. You felt like a walking night light with the glowing lightning bolt on your chest. How did this happen?

You sighed in relief when you found Peter’s apartment. Hopefully he was home and wasn’t out doing spidey things. Obviously you looked like a stranger. How would you even do this? “Hey, Pete. I may look older but it’s me, your best friend. Oh this suit? Something from Amazon.” You shook your head. “Wow that was dumb.”

“Fuck it, I’m going in.” You decided to use the fire escape but the ladder was too high up. You looked around to see if anyone was nearby. Maybe I can fly? That’s what the cape is for right? You wondered to yourself. You took a deep breath and exhaled before jumping up to try and grab the ladder. Nothing. “Well that was disappointing.” You tried a few more times before finally grabbing the metal ladder. You could have sworn that time your feet were higher off the ground.

You grunted as you climbed upward. You finally reached Peter’s window and sure enough he was at his desk. You gently tapped on his window. “Peter!” you hissed.

He didn’t notice so you tapped louder. “Peter!” He finally looked over, removing his ear buds. His eyes widened, falling off his chair. You couldn’t help but to laugh.

Cautiously he approached you.

“Um hello?” Peter asked, opening the window.

“Peter it’s me!”

“Sorry, uh, lady, am I supposed to know you?”

You rolled your eyes. “Peter! It’s me! Your best friend!”

He laughed. “Y/N? Yeah right. My best friend is a fifteen year old, not a thirty year old in some suit.” He was about to close the window. “No wait!” you shouted.

He paused.

“I know that you’re Spider-Man.”

“What?”

“You told me.”

“Lady, I don’t know you.”

“Peter, it’s me! I swear! Let me prove it!”

Peter scoffed but kept quiet, waiting for you to prove you were who you said you were.

“One time when we were seven, you wanted to stay up late and watch this scary movie. We were having a sleepover. We both snuck downstairs but it was dark and I knocked my head against the kitchen counter, getting this, scar.” You pointed at your right brow, where sure enough, a scar lied.

“You gotta do better than that. I told Ned that one time and he’s a blabber mouth.”

You cursed under your breath. You thought hard trying to think of something that only you and Peter knew.

“Your favorite ice cream is cookie dough with gummy bears and you never told anyone else because you were embarrassed and everyone thought it’d be weird.”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Y/N?”

“Yes! It’s me!”

“B-but how….the suit...did you time travel? Or go into space?”

“I have no fucking clue but can you let me in? It’s fucking cold out here.”

Peter finally let you in his room. He stared at you in aw. He approached you with caution like you were an active bomb. His eyes narrowed as he leaned in closer-inspecting the scar on your forehead. He touched the lightning bolt symbol on your chest, making him giggle from the electric hum.

“Not gonna lie-I’m kinda jealous of your suit. It’s so bad ass.”

“Peter, you gotta help me. I feel like I lost my mind! How is this possible?”

Peter sat down at his desk. “I have no clue. What was the last thing you remembered?”

You tried to calm yourself down and sat on his bed. Your fidgeted with your hands, thinking. “Getting home from school.” you finally spoke. The memory came back.

The school bell rang and you were more than happy to get home. You said goodbye to your friends and Peter walked with you until he made it home. You were a few blocks past his apartment building.

You walked rather fast, eager to get home. When you rounded the corner you noticed a homeless person sitting against a building.

Your heart sank. You hated seeing people on the street, wishing there was something you could do to help. “Change miss? Any change?” You stopped in front of her to get a better look.

The old woman was mostly hidden from her cloak. “Uh, I think so?” You checked your pockets only to come out empty. “I don’t have any money but-” You knelt down to unzip your backpack. “-I never ate my lunch. Sorry it’s not much but I think it will get you by tonight.” You handed her the paper sack with your lunch.

“It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.”

She didn’t respond but she lifted her hand. Instead of grabbing the sack, she took your wrist. You froze. Something weird was happening. You felt a charge of electricity from her hand. It grew stronger followed by a crack of thunder. You looked around to find yourself in a haze-surrounded by thick fog.

You were terrified to say the least. A figure came towards you who you recognized as the old woman from the street.

“Y/N,” she spoke in a powerful voice.

“H-how do you know my name?” You wanted to back away but you couldn’t move.

“You showed me kindness when others would ignore me.” she said. “You have the heart of a hero which is why I am giving you the power of Shazam.”

“Sh-what now? What is that?”

“A hero. Say the magic word and touch my hand.”

You stared at her hand which was sparkling with electricity.

You hesitated. This was crazy. How was this possible?

“Say the magic word.”

Something inside you told you to listen to her. This was real.

You slowly took her hand. “Shazam.”

“Wow.” Peter said in awe. “All because you helped an old lady? But instead you got a super suit?”

You nodded. “Looks like it.”

“Wait what was that word?”

“Shazam.”

Peter yelped when you were struck by lightning. When the fog cleared you were back to normal. No suit. No cape.

“Y/N?!”

“Yeah?”

“You’re a kid again!”

You looked in a mirror to see he was right. “What?”

“I think when you say that word it makes you older. Say it again.”

You hesitated but your curiosity won. “Shazam?”

Sure enough you were in the suit again, older.

[writing-for-overwatch]

Surprise Bitch (Hanzo Shimada)

Pairing: Hanzo Shimada/Wife!Reader Words: 780+ Warning(s): FLUFF, some blood mention A/N: Honestly the title has nothing to do with this fluff piece but I put it as my doc title to keep track and I love it. it makes me laugh so hard and idk why. also this is my favorite fic ive written on here yet. Request: Hanzo x reader where he thinks his s/o(wife) died but at the overwatch recall shes just like 'oh yeah wassup im alive' and he just breaks down in happiness and they just hold each other and cuddle whispering sweet nothings?

   Hanzo Shimada glared at his younger brother as Genji lead him through the new Overwatch base. After many visits by Genji, trying to get his brother to join the recall, Hanzo finally agreed to join. It was either joining Overwatch with his pestering brother or the terrorist organization Talon, he chose the former. Plus, Genji told him he is in for a big surprise, which Hanzo doubted would be anything good.

   "We are here, brother." They stopped in front of two doors before the cyborg pushed them open, revealing a bunch of different agents sitting around. "Let me introduce you to everyone-"

   "There is no need, Genji." Hanzo glared.

   "Oh, there is. Everyone I have returned!" He called out, snapping everyone'd attention on them both. "I have returned with my brother, Hanzo Shimada!"  

   "What, the Hanzo? The one you and (Y/N) one shut up about?" One of the agents laugh. Hanzo's breath was caught in his throat and his hand latched onto the wedding band he wore as a necklace.  (Y/N) Shimada was his late wife, who was killed by assassins sent by the Shimada clan when him and (Y/N) were ambushed.  

   "Genji? What is the meaning of this?" Hanzo hissed to his brother, thinking this was some sort of sick joke. Genji simply shook his head and chuckle, pulling his brother through the room and down another hallway, stopping at one door.

   "Knock. Go ahead."

   "I swear-"

   "Just do it, Hanzo." The archer gulped, giving the door two, hard knocks against the door. There was some shuffling on the other side before the door slowly opening.

   (Y/N) Shimada.

   "Oh, hey Genji, hey Hanzo." She greeted casually, opening her bedroom wider while leaning on the frame. Hanzo's face was in pure shock, his jaw was slack and his eyes were wide as he stared at his supposedly dead wife. "Surprise, I'm... alive."

   "I will just leave you two catch up." The younger Shimada gave a bow a jogged away from the reunited couple.

   "So, I guess you want to know the story, huh? Why don't you in and I'll fill you in." She grabbed his hand, making him jump, before pulling into her room. She and Hanzo sat at the foot of her bed, he couldn't help but notice her wedding band was around her neck like his.

   "How-How are you still alive? I saw you get taken down by the assassins... you told me to run as you laid on the ground bleeding..." He felt his throat constrict and his eyes burn as the painful memory resurfaced in his mind. "You were alive and I left you-!"

   "Hanzo don't blame yourself. I wasn't even sure I was going to make it. I don't blame you for leaving either, I told you to." (Y/N) placed a hand on his cheek, swiping away a stray tear with the pad of her thumb. "After you left me, I thought I was going to die, but thankfully Genji was following us. He took care of the assassins and got me help. I left with minimal scarring, though Angela wasn't able to save my leg." She chuckled slightly and pulled up her pajama bottoms, revealing her right leg was a prosthetic.  

   "You've been alive all this time, yet you haven't reached out to me?"

   "Your good at hiding you tracks, it took Genji a long time to find you the first time." He looked at you in disbelief, making you sigh. "I spent a good amount of time unconscious due to blood loss and spent two months getting used to my new leg, I wanted to reach out to you but everyone thought against it until they knew you would join the recall. Trust me, if I could have I would of ran out of here to look for you, Hanzo." They sat in silence for a few seconds, he was still trying to process what his wife told him. "Look, if the leg bothers you..."

   "No, it doesn't. You're still beautiful."

   "I was joking, I would beat you with it if you found it disgusting." She laughed, making him snort at her tone.

   "I've missed you so much, my love." Hanzo pulled out the necklace that had his ring, she smiled and held out her ring.

   "I missed you too, darling." (Y/N) pulled him into a tight hug, which her returned, burying his face into the crook of her neck. She rubbed his back and he was telling her sweet nothings to her in Japanese, back together again.

[caepaecaesurae]

> CC: Thank Meenah

Yesterday at 5:07 PM

caepaecaesurae WVe'vwe split, and the safe-house wvon't be needed anymore, on my end at least.  I'vwe left a small thank you present on the kitchen counter. I'd be in your debt if you could wvipe the coordinates used off of the pad's history list, if and wvhen convwenient. Thank you again, and havwe a nice night.

Yesterday at 9:38 PM

brackishbarracuda yeah i can do that isle head over in an hour oar so brackishbarracuda s good to sea u caepaecaesurae Good to see you too.  I appreciate the neutrality and the assistance. Havwing somewvhere empty to go helped more than once.

Today at 12:13 AM

brackishbarracuda ive been fused before an efin when its ppl u give a shit aboat its hard so i mean some place where u didnt have any extra ppl shoutin at u seemed pike a good idea to me caepaecaesurae It wvas. Did you separate from wvhomevwer it wvas peaceably?  Or vwia incompatibility? brackishbarracuda peaceably for both thankfully one was def a hell of a lot rockier than the other one tho aight the best puns are the ones u didnt mean to make i cannaut believe caepaecaesurae I do enjoy those ones. brackishbarracuda did u ever get hit w the gem thing caepaecaesurae As I am lost, it seems I did not. brackishbarracuda lemme find u a picture for full effect aight bc shit is stupid and mine was pike stupid times two brackishbarracuda http://imgur.com/sPQFO8t there we go rly tho how tf puts that shit on ur foot caepaecaesurae WVhat is that? brackishbarracuda aight so theres the weird sentient rock aliens who p much project around w/e rock they are an they do the fuse thing on purpose pike thats a thing they can do and a bunch a ppl got hit w it a while back usually shits pike on ur hand or ur forhead oar ur arm or somefin but no brackishbarracuda nah it was on my cod damn foot caepaecaesurae First I'vwe heard about them. ... You havwe my sympathies. WVhy the foot? brackishbarracuda idk i do naut fuckin no thats just where it was when i got got caepaecaesurae I imagine you sawv the tittastrophe wve had? brackishbarracuda yeah brackishbarracuda yeah that shore was somefin i saw w my own two eyes brackishbarracuda howd that whole thing go efin caepaecaesurae It looked rather like wve wvere split dowvn the middle vwertically in a lot of respects. The side wvith no breast had short hair like mine. WVe made a falsie so clothes wvould fit. brackishbarracuda now sea i woulda just said fuck it and done the whole half clothes shit pike jacket on one and dress on the other deal caepaecaesurae tsk.  I should'vwe talked to you more, that'd be a hell of a look. brackishbarracuda i mean u aint gotta b fused to pull it off right caepaecaesurae True.  It wvould complete the look though. caepaecaesurae I may try a half-and-half garment of some sort soon. brackishbarracuda plz take pictures i need this shit caepaecaesurae I do lovwe my selfie tag. brackishbarracuda s cause its good shit caepaecaesurae Howv do you feel about breasted, marginally nsfwv pictures of me? brackishbarracuda im down caepaecaesurae http://caepaecaesurae.tumblr.com/post/130431613390/speaking-of-anons-d brackishbarracuda v nice dam tho where tf did u get half those scars brackishbarracuda impressive caepaecaesurae I don't normally showv much skin. The large round ones on the legs are from an air battle invwolvwing laser cannons, during the game. brackishbarracuda uh first off fuckin ow caepaecaesurae Pff. Yes, but wve wvon. brackishbarracuda secondly i get it if u aint comfy w it oar w/e but u ought show more a it imo and that right theres why caepaecaesurae A good half of the scars you see there are from my first century on Alternia. ...at the end of wvhich, I began wvearing neck to wvrist to ankle bodyarmor, of the sort contained in that package.  Havwe you stopped by that hivwe yet, by the by? brackishbarracuda shit yeah i did i thought id said thank u btw caepaecaesurae You may havwe, I'm scattered lately. brackishbarracuda pike seariously i aint been in a searious scrape in a while but pike dam i cant get away from nofin w/o bleedin it feels like caepaecaesurae Armor that no one knowvs you're wvearing can be a wvonderful game changer. It turns a knife in the ribs into an invwitation to play. brackishbarracuda as much as i like it and the apron tbh shit is nice brackishbarracuda u probably made clams night more than mine w the armor caepaecaesurae I hope it servwes wvell, or entertains.  Or that the flavwor vwials do. brackishbarracuda hes the one whos gotta stitch me up half the tide caepaecaesurae A good role for a quadrant. If you elect to wvear the vwest, at least he'll only be stitching up limbs. brackishbarracuda lmao yeah fair also i should punch u in the nose for the fuckin shit u sent me pike it was so good that it legit made me mad how tf caepaecaesurae ... Hope player.  "Beyond belief" is my playground. brackishbarracuda throws my dam hands caepaecaesurae I can make things that I can imagine.  Cae*fora* made things that *She* could imagine. brackishbarracuda shit is fucked up caepaecaesurae A bit.  ... I usually try to make things that are slightly less... Intense... than that... I hope it wvasn't too much? brackishbarracuda isle survive but my tongue aint gonna b  happy w anyfin ever again this is me jokin mostly i aint upset at u oar anyfin caepaecaesurae ..Still, pardon. brackishbarracuda s aight cae ur good brackishbarracuda seariously tho why aint u show off ur scars more 38? caepaecaesurae Enough of them havwe unfortunate sources for it to be uncomfortable wvhen specific ones are indicated and remarked on, much of the time. caepaecaesurae ... Mostly, I don't like taking my armor off, evwer. I'vwe been getting better at removwing it long enough for selfies though. brackishbarracuda well dam the one u just showed me took some fuckin guts then didnt it caepaecaesurae Heh.  It wvas taken during a period of amnesia wvhere I didn't remember wvhere most of them wvere from. brackishbarracuda do u think u could do it again caepaecaesurae Possibly, though I think my selfie tag could use more less sexual things. brackishbarracuda u oughta take a pic w arlequin oar somefin then how tall efin are u btw pike are u taller than he is oar shorter or caepaecaesurae I'm a good foot and a half shorter than him, last I checked. brackishbarracuda well that makes me feel beta at least caepaecaesurae My adult height in sevweral centuries ought to be near wvhere he is nowv. brackishbarracuda yall are entirely too fuckin tall u kno that caepaecaesurae So I hear. If it makes you feel any better, all the humans top out somewvhere in the six or sevwen range I think.  They all look somewvhere betwveen fivwe and six nowv. The carapacians are a foot or twvo belowv that. brackishbarracuda pike im saury i realize u probably hear that alot but i am half a arlequins now hight an he was talkin pike sixteen feet an im overe here pike dude ur gonna b over three times my size how tf is that gonna efin work caepaecaesurae Carefully and wvith gusto. brackishbarracuda aight tru tho caepaecaesurae Havwe you evwer done the thing wvhere you rest hip to hip wvith a partner and pretend theirs is yours and marvwel at the difference? Some trolls enjoy that. I think that one wvill only improvwe as he ages, for you. caepaecaesurae "Look wvhat I'm packing nowv" brackishbarracuda i havent and now im kinda wonderin wtf ive been doin w my life caepaecaesurae You're wvelcome. .. Then again I'vwe used googly eyes in the bedroom before, so maybe my advwice isn't the best. brackishbarracuda bouy nah fuck that im gonna get a pack and use em on dirk that shit is perf caepaecaesurae My partner grewv annoyed and ripped them off, wvhich is honestly all I could hope for. brackishbarracuda tbh hell probably laugh till he cries which i count as a win brackishbarracuda but yeah tbh rippin em off sounds pike a good idea brackishbarracuda u kno me an u oughtta hang out sometide caepaecaesurae WVe should, I imagine wve'd get into heaps of trouble if any wvas avwailable. brackishbarracuda trouble is kinda my thing yeah brackishbarracuda i eel pike youd enjoy some trouble caepaecaesurae Once upon a time, maybe.  It's been a wvhile, and I might be a bit more boring nowv. Nice things, good stories, and good laughs?  Those are dear to heart. brackishbarracuda now sea mr suns out guns out tenta tattoo false boob ampora w the hella scars i aint believe you wouldnt enjoy a little trouble caepaecaesurae I'vwe had a vwery interesting life. I'm relearning howv to enjoy trouble. brackishbarracuda isle sea if i cant think of some baby trouble steps caepaecaesurae Sounds like a treat to me. caepaecaesurae Let me knowv sometime, alright? brackishbarracuda yeah def at the v least ur fun to talk to and anybody i can b a bad influence on is aight by me u feel caepaecaesurae Aye, I hear you It'd be nice to lean back in that direction somenight.  I'vwe been sitting around drinking tea a wvhile. brackishbarracuda s easy to get restless i aint efin alternian and sometides i just need to move and tear into somefin before that somefin becomes me caepaecaesurae Aye. ...I sail a ship around sometimes.  Transport pads to get back to hivwe often. Plenty of wvild lands out there to explore. brackishbarracuda theres plenty a world here to sea if u ever decide u wanna we aint managed a drone yet be in a week oar so probably caepaecaesurae The mile-high deer?  Aye I'vwe a curiosity. I'm relievwed that you're considering the drone. brackishbarracuda im uh considerin more than the drone tbh caepaecaesurae Aye? brackishbarracuda been thinkin a puttin my crown on and meanin it caepaecaesurae Lacking in context, I'm imagining you calling yourself queen of a single hivwe surrounded by largish deer. brackishbarracuda i mean in all technicality i earned the fuckin thing i blew up my planet i killed the empress so by right etc etc blah blah blah i just been runnin from it since brackishbarracuda no u aint wrong i gotta start somwhere fuckin ridiculous as it is if they aint anybody else on the planet isle take it theres a small frozen planet my ex red left me so thats two off the bat ig caepaecaesurae If there's no one else it seems a bit... abrupt. Then again, givwen a single wvorking mothergrub, one is nevwer far from an empire. I suspect Arlequin wvould havwe mixed feelings. brackishbarracuda ive convinced my spade to let me sit w em and do some political diplomatic shit and i aint lookin to be a bloody conquerer im just lookin to stop runnin from what i was hatched for mayb do some decent shit w whatever authority i got somefin betta than home was anyway caepaecaesurae I wvish you luck wvith it if you do. brackishbarracuda thanks 38/ caepaecaesurae It's hard to get in trouble wvhen you're in charge. brackishbarracuda why u gotta do me like this caepaecaesurae WVell... Ask Tyfora howv much fun her powver is. brackishbarracuda id rather naut caepaecaesurae Ask Arlequin howv much he wvants to strivwe for a newv flag -- at least, this early. brackishbarracuda i oughta talk to him aboat it tho yeah caepaecaesurae Powver is complicated.  That's all. caepaecaesurae More so than you might be preparing yourself for. brackishbarracuda i aint trynna rush into anyfin aight an isle talk to arlequin i kno shit aint easy it aint somefin im thinkin aboat lightly caepaecaesurae Then I wvish you luck.  I'm cautious about swvearing loyalties lightly, but you'll likely havwe me on call if emergencies strike. brackishbarracuda i dont take that lightly either cae thank u i afishiate it caepaecaesurae WVe'll see wvhat comes.  I'm afraid it's late though.  Another night? brackishbarracuda a course thanks for talkin at me caepaecaesurae Looking forwvard to it.  Rest wvell wvhen you go. brackishbarracuda yeah sleep good

[candyredterezii]

..

I sometimes.

Worry.

Bout ? myself.

I guess

Idunno

just.

lately i realized.

how?? .. idk how to explain it

but

excited?? i get. with abuse.

in fiction -- in. real life? i dunno

Like..

I

Sometimees think bout. 

Dont. laugh or think im weird i guess? for thinkin bout jotaro and I

i make this clear a lot but idk i feel people will. judge me 

anyway-

i think bout us and im like

what if he hit me.. omg.. (drools) and like a milisecond im like

WHAO. WHOA. NO?? NO?????!!?!?!?!

NO!!

I dont. want that.

but my mind automatically goes to !! hey it would be so nice to get beaten the fuckUP

like..

I get so! entranced. seeing art of abuse on my side blog

seeing someone be abused and bruised and im jjust

silent but internally deep in my core im like.

drools.. (god i wish that was me-- wht-- no i dont. what the fuck.)

like..

the other day i was reading fanfic and there was a warning for sexual assault and abuse.

and part of me got? excited until immediately i was like.. NO!!

none of that. dont do this..

i dont think i used to be like this until.. maybe a few years back it began to brew.. maybe

idk... i just.

i worry.

cus with that mentality? what if i do end up getting abused.

I mean im already so fucking dense and naive and dont and never realized i was abused until YEARS LATER.

Like. Lmao.

God I remember? It wasnt until like. sophmore year i realized.

oh my god. i was?? sexually manipulated into doing. terrible things. 

I was sexually assaulted a handful of times in.. like.. 5th to 7th grade?? ish

around there

and i remember who did it and i had to see him in High School CONSTANTLY in the halls (thank god i never had any classes with him.)

and it wasnt out of ‘lust’ or anything like. 

i remember it was based on tormenting me. just that

I remember them groping whatever chest bulge i had and grabbing my ass and telling me

what are you gonna do bout it? huh? i just groped your tit. what are you onna do? 

and i never! did anything.

I talk bout my regular physical abuse a lot cus it just. plagues me.

cus i never realized how? bad it was or that it wasnt. normal or okay to have be done to me and how it rlly fucked with my mentality now in later years.

I thought it was just regular teasing but??

Talking bout it to my old best friend she was. horrorified and was like. thats not normal.

an all my other friends had p? normal childhoods and nothing w constant torment and abuse like i had iirc.

And. No one really. stood up for me. Except my old best friend brooke.. she was the only one who ever stuck up for me. and that was all during grades 2nd - 4th 

and it wasnt at school, tho, just back at were we lived.

No one really. noticed. 

I would come home w cuts and bruises and my parents either never noticed or jut assumed oh its kids play.

One time i was getting repeatedly pushed into the now surrounded by a bunch of boys laughing at me everytime i got up and pushed me right back down until i was sobbing and finally a teacher broke it up and I GOT IN TROUBLE FOR IT. “I saw you push one of the boys earlier.”

That and only one other time a teacher actually interfered. 

I remember this boy, Ethan, pushed me onto the blacktop and i scraped my knees BAD. So I walked to a bench and cried to myself, blood draining onto my socks and a teacher, who was my neighbor, saw and asked what happened who did it and when she asked Ethan wtf why

he just shrugged and said. “She annoyed me.”

and i wasnt even doing anything besides trying to get him to play with me. 

And he wouldnt apologize. 

I take thhat back -- one time my parents actually did something about the bullying.

And that was when i came home SOBBING after having a huge chunk of ice dropped on my lower back -- honestly i think it couldve fucking BROKE -- gods miracle it didnt. and my mom stormed to the house of the kids parents. 

And god thats not even getting me started durin 5th - 7th grade. 

Knives threatened on me, whole bags of garbage and broken glass dumped on me. Mud and sticks thrown at me. Getting slammed into metal bars and slides. -- not even started on the HUGE verbal abuse even.

And my best friend at the time never even stood up for me really. 

..Anyway

sorry i rambled again i just.

.. DEEP SIGH.

TBH?? I dont even know

If all this and the shit ive been dealt with can be considered?? abuse

or trauma

idk if im ust. being over reactive and its all just

really nbd and im over reacting!! thats classic dani -- always being over dramatic get the fuck over it bitch!! lmao.

idk.

i honeestly11 duno

i feel im just being whiney and ‘boo hoo woe is me.’

i honestly dont know,,

but what i do know is

honestly all of it?? really.. fucked with me and still continues to leave scars on me today.