#idk what to tag this with to get people to see it ill just pray one of my followers might know smthin about this

[swag-system]

not planning on going to a doctor for this but im honestly just curious.

is it bad if for like a week my fingers hurt really really bad when they touch literally anything (like, touching stuff felt like 5 billion stab wounds in every single atom of my finger) and the skin is peeling off my fingers but then my fingers go completely numb n i cant feel from my fingertips at all?

since it doesnt hurt anymore i just moved on n stopped caring but not being able to feel from my fingertips comes with its own annoyances (i got stuck in a choker bcs i couldnt get the clasp without being able to feel it and it suuucked)

[morosemagick]

Listen, Before I Go | Finan x Reader One Shot

Welcome to my first one shot/first Reader!Fic.

Be gentle, I'm trash.

Warning: Major Character Death, (its sad, okay, idk what else to say.)

Words: 3847

Tagged:

@solinarimoon @lauwrite1225

You had seen many things in your life as a traveling healer. Wounds and illnesses alike, taking you from place to place wherever people may need you. Taking care of people was in your blood. Both your parents were healers, and you planned on using all they taught you to care for people around the world. And yet, when you met Uhtred of Bebbanburg and his crew of accident-prone warriors in the aftermath of the battle at Tettenhall, something inside you told you to stay. A feeling in your heart, telling you that no one will ever need you more than they would. Over the months that passed, that feeling proved true. You healed every cut, bruise, and battle wound they would come to acquire. Each wound healed was a bond growing stronger with each man in Uhtred’s service, including your lord himself.

Osferth, the first of the Coccham boys you healed. His kindness was always warming to the heart. Sihtric, who spoke often of his wife and joked about his desire to return to her in one piece. And of course, Finan, whose laugh made your heart skip a beat and smile did things to you that was certainly ungodly. They were your family, and you loved them all dearly.

And you would do whatever it took to save their lives.

Especially now, when they needed you most.

“Sihtric!” You scream out at the sight of him, bloody and broken. The snow falls thick and heavy around you, stained red with the Danish man’s blood and Osferth and Finan work together to lift him from the ground.

“We got him, Y/N, just go!” Finan yells out, and you nod okay. The storm is picking up and though the raiders that ambushed you are dead, none of you are out of the woods yet.

Up ahead is a cave. It’s cold and dark but it’s dry, and getting Sihtric out of the storm is your main priority.

“This way, to the cave!” You call out as you lead the men forward, being sure to check for any unfriendly creatures that might be hiding out from the storm inside. When the coast is clear, you wave the others on.

As carefully as they can, Osferth and Finan lower Sihtric to the ground. The injured warrior groaned as he touched the ground, “We need to make a fire.” Finan tells the rest of you.

“Did anyone see Lord Uhtred?” Osferth questions, making you and Finan glance at each other.

You shake your head no, and then Finan looks back to Osferth, “He must be with Lady Aethelflaed.”

“Should we look for them-”

“We can’t,” Finan cuts him off, sighing, “We must stick together, make a fire, and take care of Sihtric.”

“I will tend to Sihtric,” You tell them, “Go get what you need for a fire but please stay close, this storm is only getting worse, and finding your way back might get harder.”

Finan nods okay, and the two men leave as you bend down to check up on Sihtric. He’s breathing heavy but he’s still alert so that has you at ease. Checking his wound on his side, it doesn’t seem bad but it will definitely need stitching. His skin, however, is freezing to the touch and that makes you nervous, “That bad?” Sihtric chuckles the best he can, his eyes looking so very tired.

“Not at all, you needed stitches. That’s all,” You tell him as you look through the pouch tied to your belt.

“You are a bad liar, Y/N,” He huffs, looking up to the ceiling of the cave, “Tell me, please.”

Biting your lip, you sigh and glance away, “You're freezing, you need fire or you may get sick.”

“I could have told you that,” He laughs but the motion makes his side hurt and his laughter turns to a wince.

“You must rest, Sihtric, please,” You tell him as you find your needle and thread, “Eahlswith will not forgive you if you do not make it home in one piece, remember?”

“Ealhswith,” He smiles slightly, and then grunts as you start to clean the wound, “I miss her.”

“And you will see her soon, I promise,” Glancing up, you can see fear in Sihtrics eyes, and it breaks your heart, “I swear it, Sihtric.”

He only nods, and you continue to care for him in silence.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

Time has passed, and the fire has been made, but it’s small and just barely enough to keep you all comfortable so to make up for the lack of heat you all huddle close to each other. You are to Sihtric’s left, Finan is to yours, and Osferth is on the other side of Sihtric. Sihtric’s wound was cleaned well but he is still very cold and you’re trying your best not to show how worried you are. As you take a deep breath, you let out a shiver and it shakes your whole body.

Noticing how cold you are, Finan scoots closer and wraps his arms around yours and holding it tight, “You alright, Y/N?”

You glance momentarily at Sihtric, who's currently half awake with his head on your shoulder and his eyes on the fire ahead of them, and then look back at Finan, “I am.”

It’s a lie. You’re terrified.

Terrified of losing your friends, of dying to the cold, but mostly you’re terrified of not being able to keep the oath you made to Lord Uhtred and yourself to keep them all safe. It’s killing you inside.

Sihtric is shivering to your right, his cold body against yours sending chills down your spine.

“Alright there, Sihtric?” You ask him, though you know the answer. Instead of staying strong, you can feel him shake his head no. His fear brings a tear to your eyes, “It’ll be okay.”

“It will not,” Sihtric whispers, making everyone else suddenly alert to how beaten he’s feeling.

“It will be, Sihtric, we will get out of this mess like we have every other mess Uhtred has gotten us into,” Finan tries to joke in an attempt to keep everyone’s spirit up.

“Uhtred isn’t even here,” Sihtric tells him, his head still rested on your shoulder, “We might never see him again. I might not-”

“We are getting out of here,” Osferth adds, “God will see us through this.”

“He is not my God, Osferth, he does not care if I live or die,” Sihtric argues.

None of you have seen him so defeated before.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” You tell Sihtric as you turn your body to face him, forcing him to lift his head up. You can tell it’s a struggle for him to hold himself up, and it’s hard for you to keep a calm expression. You grab Sihtric by his face and put on your best smile, but your eyes are still watering and the wind outside has made it so unbearably cold; so at this point, you don’t know if you have it in your heart to lie to him. So you don’t, “I know you are cold, and you hurt, but I will do whatever it takes to make sure you get home to Coccham. To your wife, and to your son.”

Sihtric nods okay, but his eyes tell another story as he starts to cry.

Past his shoulder, you can see Osferth is also looking mighty defeated as his own eyes start to get red, and behind you, Finan’s hand has gripped your cloak and tight.

And then, to make matters worse, the fire dies.

“Fucking bastard fire!” Finan growls loudly as he kicks the still hot wood with his foot, making soot spread, “Fuck!” His scream echoes throughout the cave as he gets up and stomps around in anger, and you look away from Sihtric as you start to cry, biting your lip in hopes of keeping your fear to yourself.

On the tips of your fingers, you feel Sihtric’s tears falling down.

“Finan, sit... please,” Osferth calls out, and you can hear his voice cracking, “Being angry will solve nothing.”

Sihtrics’ crying has worsened, and now they can all hear him.

You pull him closer to you, cuddling him like a child in your arms, trying your best to keep him warm. His sobbing is enough to shake you both, but you keep your grip on him strong. Osferth scoots his body closer to Sihtrics, putting his arm around his brother, and to your left, you can hear Finan return to his seat. After a moment or two, you can feel his arms wrap around your waist and hold you tight.

At least if you die, it will be next to those you love the most.

The four of you sit this way in silence for some time, the only things you can hear are Sihtric crying and the strong snowy winds blowing outside the cave. You have never been a very religious person, but at that moment you find yourself praying to every god you can think of to save the ones you love.

A moment later you hear Sihtric sniffle, and shuffle a bit in your arms before he sighs and speaks, “Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Can you sing for us?” He asks, and you nod yes.

If you can bring him comfort now, in what very well might be his final hours, you will do whatever he wishes.

“Take me to the rooftop. I wanna see the world when I stop breathing. Turning blue,” You rest your cheek on top of Sihtric’s head, and your eyes glance away as you continue, “Tell me, love is endless, don't be so pretentious. Leave me, like you do. If you need me, wanna see me, better hurry 'Cause I'm leaving soon,” There's sniffling in the air as you sing, you can hear Osferth shuffling, probably to get closer to Sihtric, and you can feel Finan’s arms grip you tighter. “Sorry, can't save me now. Sorry, I don't know how. Sorry, there's no way out but down, mm down.”

You move your left hand down to where Finan is holding you tight, and he moves to grab it, squeezing it as best he can. His hand is lacking a glove, and yet you can feel his warmth.

You hold on to that feeling as you continue singing, “Taste me, the salty tears on my cheek. That's what a year-long headache does to you. I'm not okay, I feel so scattered, don't say I'm all that matters. Leave me. Deja vu. If you need me, wanna see me, you better hurry. I'm leaving soon,” Finan’s head is on your shoulder, you can feel his breath on your neck. It makes you think of all the times you should’ve kissed him. You should have told him. Probably too late for that now, though, “Sorry, can't save me now. Sorry, I don't know how. Sorry, there's no way out, but down, mm down. Write my friends and tell them that I love them. And I'll miss them... but I'm not sorry. Write my friends and tell them that I love them, and I'll miss them…”

Sorry.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

The men have been asleep for some now, but you’re still awake. You have been staring at Sihtric all night, watching his chest rise and fall. Making sure his chest still rises and falls. A couple of times you’ve even put your fingers to his lips to make certain that he’s still breathing. Anything to make sure he’ll survive through the night. On the other side of him, Osferth is sound asleep, you can hear the man snore just slightly, and see him cuddled against Sihtric’s side.

The inside of this cave is freezing but you know it’s better than being out in the storm.

“Y/N?” You hear Finan whisper, “Are you up?”

“I am,” You whisper back, your fingers hovering just above Sihtric’s lips. Still breathing, good. You roll over slowly to not wake him, and when you are facing Finan, you sigh, “He is still alive, thank God.”

“Do you think he’ll make it?” Finan asks quietly, his eyes a red mess.

You shrug, not wanting to lie right now, “I do not know, Finan,” You shake your head, and the tears are building in your eyes again and your next words barely make it out, “I fear the worst.”

The tears fall down your cheeks and you try your best to not cry too loudly because you fear waking them more than you do crying in front of the man who’s stolen your heart. Finan reaches out to hold you by your cheeks and you can feel how warm he is still, it’s not much but enough to feel wonderful against your cold face as you cry. He shuffles his body closer to you, and you can feel his breath on your face as you open your eyes.

You don’t want to die without him knowing how he makes you feel. How he makes your heart flutter. How he fills you with so much life.

How loved he makes you feel.

“Finan- I need to tell you something,” You get yourself ready to say the words, but he stops you with his finger on your lips.

“Tell me in the morning, Y/N,” He’s smiling, but his eyes are red and full of tears.

“But what if we don’t make it to morning?” Your voice cracks, and instead of answering Finan leans in and kisses you. It’s warm and delicious, and you want to kick yourself that it’s only happening now when you might not live to see another day because your body is cold but kissing Finan now fills your soul with so much warmth.

Perhaps this wouldn’t be a terrible way to die.

The two of you stay like that for a while, and you're trying your best to etch every inch of him into your mind as he pulls you in closer by the way to deepen the kiss. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted. It’s like coming home, and when you finally break apart the content smile on his face says he feels the same.

Finan leans back in, kissing your face over and over again. Making sure to kiss away all the tears that have stained your cheeks and then finding his way to your neck, “If I didn’t fear waking them, I’d pull my cock from my trousers and warm you with that.”

You try to bite your lip to contain your laughter, but a snicker comes out anyway, “I’m sure that is that last thing either of them would like to see now.”

“Aye, but what a sight it would be,” He smirks, leaning in for another kiss, “But If I’m going to bed you, Y/N, it will be properly I swear it.”

“I will hold you to that,” You tell him with another kiss, and as you move to separate you can see the expression on his face shift and the mood become more somber, "We should try to sleep. We need our energy."

"You sleep, I'll keep watch," Finan tells you, kissing your forehead.

"Nothing is going to hurt us here but the cold," You try to tell him, "Please try to sleep, Finan."

"I will, Y/N, let me just hold you for a while," Finan nods for you to turn around and you comply, and a moment later his arms are around your waist again and he's kissing behind your ear. Then, barely a whisper and more like wind, you can hear him say something in your ear, "Tá grá agam duit."

It's the last thing you hear before you fall asleep.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

You wake from your sleep in a cold sweat, your heart racing as you rise quickly from the ground. The first thing you do is turn your body to your right to check on Sihtric, and to your surprise you find him sitting up and wide awake.

It brings tears to your eyes.

"Oh thank God," You can't help but say at the sight of him.

Sihtric smiles slightly. He looks tired, but he's alive and that's all the matters, "Good morning, Y/N."

"How are you feeling?" You ask as you lean over to put the back of your hand on his forehead. He's warmer than he was last night, which is a good sign, "Warmer? Is your wound okay?"

"Looks like you did it again, Y/N," Osferth calls out as he enters the cave with firewood in his hand, "Told you you’d be okay." Osferth drops the wood where the original fire once sat and then walks over to Sihtric and ruffles his hair, "Lord Uhtred will be pleased."

You chuckle, wiping your face of tears, and then suddenly you remember last night and Finan.

With a smile still on your face you turn to your left, where you can see his body still lying there, "Finan, it's morning-" the moment you put your hand on him your smile fades and your heart drops as you notice something very important. His fur cloak isn't on his body, but on yours and Finan is cold, "Finan?" You shake his shoulder as you call his name, the frantic sound of your voice getting the other’s attention, "Finan!"

Osferth rushes to your side just as you turn him on his back, and you place your fingers to his lips and can barely feel a thing. Osferth, however, has his hand on Finan’s forehead, "He's burning up."

"I cannot feel his breath," You tell Osferth as the tears hit you quick, and your breathing is all over the place, "Finan, come on, please-" you start to pump at his chest to get his heart moving, breathing into his mouth to help him get air. You do both this over and over again, trying not to let the sobbing stop you, "Come on, Finan, please!"

"Y/N?" You can hear Sihtric's voice question you from where he sits, the sound of fear clear.

You keep going, refusing to give up on him. Thinking about the other night.

You still haven't told him-

"Y/N," Osferth calls to you, but you do not stop, "Y/N," He tries pulling you away, but you keep going, and going, but now Osferth is pulling a little harder, "Y/N, please-"

And just as Osferth is about to tell you to stop, Finan starts to gasp for air and your heart can beat again, "God, thank you," you cry as you pull Finan close to you, taking off the cloak he gave you in the night and putting it back around his body. He's breathing lightly, but he's breathing so that's good enough for now, "You're okay, Finan, you're okay." He lifts his hand up to grab yours and you place a kiss on the top of his head.

“It seems your God is with us, Osferth,” Sihtric chuckles from behind them, making you and Osferth look back at him with a smile.

“We need to get out of this cave,” Osferth smiles, patting your shoulder as he rises to his feet.

“Why, when you’ve seemed to have made it home?” The voice from behind you has you all turning heads, a shocked and pleased look on your faces when you see Lord Uhtred has found you, “Y/N, what have you done to my men? They look awful.”

You laugh in relief at the sight of him. It seems all the Gods have heard your prayer.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

You all get home to Coccham in one piece, and you’ve never been happier to see your little home in your whole life. They leave Finan with you so you can watch him recover, and you do not mind giving the Irishman your bed. It’ll take him a few days to heal, and after everything that has happened, you’d prefer to keep a close watch on him. Sihtric and Ealhswith stop by to visit, partially so you check on Sihtric and partially so Ealthswith can thank you with meals for bringing her husband home.

Osferth and Lord Uhtred stop by as well. Finan isn’t always awake so they usually sit by his side for a while. Osferth prays and you think Uhtred might too.

You are cooking dinner one evening when you hear movement in your bedroom, and the sound of something falling over. You immediately rush to the other room to find that Finan is trying to sit up, and has knocked a cup of water to the floor.

“What do you think you're doing?” You giggle as he leans back down, feeling grateful to see him awake.

“If you wanted me in your bed, Y/N, you only needed to ask,” Finan jokes as you walk closer to him, sitting at the edge of the bed, “What happened?”

“You’re a fool, that’s what happened,” You tell him as you put your hand to his forehead and he is no longer burning, which is good, “You had a fever, almost froze to death,” Your smile fades as you take a deep breath, “I thought I lost you for a moment…”

“A fever?” He questioned, looking generally lost, “I don’t remember a fever,” He reaches out and takes your hand, gently rubbing your knuckles, “But I do remember some things. You were going to tell me something, were you not?”

You smile and lean down to kiss his forehead, “I’ll tell you when you're out of this bed.”

Finan laughs, using his other hand to reach out and hold you close from your neck, “Will you now?”

“You have promises you have to make good on first,” Your smirk as you lean in closer.

“Oh and I plan on making good of them, Y/N,” Finan tells you in a low voice that makes you squirm.

You chuckle as you lean in even closer, “God is good.”

“Aye,” He smirks as he hovers over your lips, “Praise him.”

Oh, you do. You thank him later that night in bed as you ride him and Finan makes good on his promise to warm you. A bed that Finan ends up never leaving and now you share together. You praise him on your wedding day, and multiple times on your wedding night. You praise him a few months later when you find yourself pregnant with your firstborn, and again when you give birth to your first son. You thank God for every child you have after, and every moment with this family of yours; made and found, that you decided to stay in Coccham and make it your home.

You thank God, all the Gods, for every moment they bless you with.

Even once your husband passes on.

And one day, when you're old, tired, and lying in the grass surrounded by the ones you love most you thank him one last time; before you go, for blessing you with such a life.

Grateful to go out under the heat sun, taking in the world one last time.

[ambidextrousarcher]

Sarcastic StarBharat Reviews-Episode 19: In which there’s more lotus melodrama and a lot of obstacle-themed talk.

Tagging @chaanv @ambitiousandcunning @mayavanavihariniharini @medhasree @shaonharryandpannisim @hermioneaubreymiachase @milesbianmorales @allegoriesinmediasres @avani008 @ratnas-musings @whydoyoucareaboutmyusername (I think I’m leaving out some people, sorry for that.)

Review under the cut.

Since the StarBharat writers are so fixated with associating Mr. Glitterwash with the lotus, I gave in to a curious impulse and searched its symbolism. Apparently, it stands for beauty and rebirth. Honestly, you need to go give THIS guy that symbolism? He ain’t any of that! Addition, credited to @ambitiousandcunning: The lotus symbolism is actually credited to Draupadi in canon, what with the ‘blue lotus fragrance’ et al. And Arjun and Krishna are ‘lotus-eyed’. Seriously, they’re stealing the symbolism of the three Krishnas and giving it to…Glitterwash. Yuck. Anyway, back to the task at hand. The review. The episode begins where the last one had ended. Just as Kunti is looking around, Glitterwash ducks out of sight to the Suryadev Sogaye BGM. The scene cuts to Adhiratha and Glitterwash. Glitterwash is being stopped by Adhiratha. “Let me go, Pitashree!” “I told you to stop.” “Pitashree, I want to go welcome them.” Okay…I think this is an extension of canon fail #40. This whole swagat scene is non-canon, I think. “Fool! Who told you to do this?” asks Adhiratha. “Why, didn’t you like it? I was only wanting to gladden the King.” “Gladden him? By fighting with him?” What? “You are better than any other Kshatriya in archery…” Wait. NO. NOPE. Just NOPE. He couldn’t defeat a kid at least a decade younger than him when he was older than this, you want me to believe he’s better than adults at this point? Sorry, I’m terrible at willful suspension of disbelief. When it comes to this git, anyway. I’m adding a canon fail. Canon fail #41. Also, I am skipping this dialogue, for the sake of my Mac. The gist is that the King will be angry that a Suta boy is better than Kshatriyas. (NOPE. I’ll keep repeating this, in your face, over and over) Glitterwash says that the King is not like that. He asks his father to look at the Queen, at the love on her face. What? IDK how you can see love on someone’s face from side profile, that too from the back. He also says that she’s just like Radha Maa. Man, quit the heavy handed bullshit! Just quit it! “Let me go!” he says. Adhirath stops him. Some tribal archers come to the fore. Vidur calls Honey Boy’s attention to them. “Look, Maharaj. Some tribal archers are here. They probably welcomed you.” Glitterwash strains at his father. The camera switches to the tribal archers kneeling. Honey boy is hailed. Vidur moves the chariot forward as Glitterwash tries to reach them to the tune of sad music. Scene switches to Mr. Annoying Poseur. “Four!” he says, dramatically moving a piece four paces. “Obstacles keep coming, but those who know how to cross them are never defeated.” “Some obstacles cannot be crossed, Shakuni,” says (who else?) Drama Queen. “They are the ties of fate,” He exhibits his immense ocular control once more. “Yes, Maharaj. You have said the truth. Some obstacles are ties of fate. Sanjay, now tell me, the obstacle in front of you, how can that be crossed?” “Well, if the dice drops 6, it will break.” “That is, dice can break your ties of fate, Sanjay,” Sanjay throws the dice, it drops on 4. “You have to form a friendship with dice,” says Poseur. “I am talking about life here, not dice!” says Drama Queen. “Life!” exclaims Poseur, laughing that annoying laugh of his. “I am also speaking of life, Maharaj. Our enemies walk on two legs, but we mistake them for human.” Drama Queen has had enough. “What are you talking about, Shakuni?” “Kumar Pandu, who has just gotten married. We’ll have to go to welcome them, won’t we?” Scene switches to Pandu and Kunti���s chariot galloping up the entryway to the palace. “Sister,” says Ambalika. “Has Gandhari not come yet?” “Sukhda said that Dhritrashtra commanded Gandhari not to welcome the newlyweds.” “But, Gandhari should be the one to welcome them, sister.” “Ambalika, the Rajguru’s wife welcomed Gandhari,” says Satyavati. “That was because no other wedded woman is there in the family. But when there is a wedded woman in the family and the aarathi is done by someone else, won’t that be ill luck?” “I won’t let anyone in the family be beset by ill luck, choti mata,” says Gandhari, who enters to the tune of triumphant music just as Pandu and Kunti are ascending the stairs to the Palace. After the obligatory pranipaats, Gandhari does the aarti. “Bhabhishree,” says Honey boy, “My wife wants to touch your feet, please bless her.” “What aashirvaad shall I give you, Kunti? You already have luck, children, youth and fame.” “Bless her that her wishes come true without any obstacles.” Scene switches to Annoying Poseur again. “Recognize the obstacles, Maharaj, and keeping throwing the dice. All obstacles will be dust.” Scene switches to the ladies blessing Ms. Melodrama and Honey Boy. “You are telling the truth, Matashree. Obstacles are actually removed through blessings,” Ms. Melodrama touches Ms. Always Patnidharma’s feet. “Where is Jyeshth Bhraata?” asks Honey Boy to Vidur. “His anger isn’t calmed yet?” Vidur gives a slight smile and a nod. Scene switches to a temple-like structure in a glade. “Kunti,” says Ms. Always Patnidharma, “In this temple only all the brides of the family place their preferred Gods’ statues. Give your idol to the Acharya for the safeguarding of your soul.” She obliges, the idol is placed, and all three women (Gandhari, Kunti and Sukhda) pray for a moment. “Jiji?” says Ms. Melodrama. “I have been blessed by everyone except Jyeshthshree, and nor have I seen him yet. Coming from Kuntirashtra to Hastina, my husband was talking about him only. His courage, his generosity, his love towards my husband. He said that if I get Jyesth’s aashirwaad then I won’t require God’s blessings. I don’t know if I have the right to say this or not, please forgive me, but, jiji, what I have heard in Kuntinagar has tensed me. Even if a new house is not decorated, it’s no issue, but if there’s a thorn in the garden, it’s not good.” she says. (Is there a thing in this family that the first-born sons are serious assholes? I mean, see Dhritrashtra, Yudigit and then Duryodhan). “There is no thorn in this garden, Kunti. Your Jyeshth has such a large heart that his brothers and their wives will definitely have a place in his heart. If you have heard that there is a fight between them, then it is untrue.” (Okay, how did she tell that whopper of a lie with a straight face?) “Some cunning fellow must have said it to you. Your Jyeshth Bhraata loves Pandu more than anything. If there is a fight between love and revenge, then love alone will triumph.” “Revenge alone will triumph!” says Poseur. “A Kshatriya fights, Shakuni, he does not use trickery.” “War!” says Poseur, laughing. “Revenge is also war, played with the brain. Do not misunderstand trickery. Those who are harmed by our doing call it trickery. Those who benefit from it call it a plan. In the game of life, Pandu has won by making the right moves. In my heart, too, there is only hate towards Pandu. But now, calming my mind, by driving away anger, we need to start a new game and defeat Pandu.” Drama Queen stabs the game board with a knife. Poseur preens. “Alert! The Maharaj Pandu is coming!” Honey Boy enters with Vidur. Poseur congratulates Honey Boy, saying that his victory in Kunti’s Swayamvar has gladdened Drama Queen and he said that Pandu can never lose. “Pranipaat, Jyeshth,” says Honey Boy. “Kunti and I are waiting for your blessings.” “I am at fault for the fact that my sister’s husband couldn’t come,” says Poseur. “He was saying again and again that you would have returned but I kept enticing him with one final game, then we’ll go.” “I have also heard that you have a lot of love for dice, Kumar,” says Honey Boy. He titters again. “Love! Consider them my wives, Maharaj,” he says. “My very obedient wives,” “Jyeshth, Kunti wanted to come her to take your blessings, with your leave, may I bring her.” “Yes, yes,” says Drama Queen. “No, no!” exclaims Poseur. “No, we should only go to congratulate her. It is her right that all should go to her to wish her. Maharaj, I request you to allow my sister’s husband to bless the Queen tomorrow morning. As we don’t have a present to give her. We have to give her a present, after all, because the person who should be blessed is both his daughter-in-law and also the Queen of Hastina.” “Alright. We will come to get your blessings tomorrow at dawn, Jyeshth,” says Honey Boy. “Certainly.” Honey Boy does a pranipaat and leaves. “You did well by saying that ‘certainly’ in the end, Maharaj,” says Poseur to sinister music. “It seems you have also started to understand the game of dice.” He titters. Uh-oh. Peacock feather. Skip. Mega Skip. This one is about taking decisions. Kunti enters her chambers and sees lotuses in the pond nearby. She picks one of them but is distracted by the sight of the black string on her hand. (Side note: Why the hell do these married ladies wear such big-ass necklaces in this show? I mean, it nearly came to her navel!) She flashes back to her friend saying that if a lie is spoken for personal gain, it is betrayal, but if it is spoken for saving oneself, it is not a betrayal, as long as this string is on your wrist, do not say anything to your husband about your past. “I will not start my life with a lie,” says Ms. Melodrama. Canon fail #42, I’d say, as there is no indication of Kunti ever almost telling the truth to Pandu in canon. “I will tell my husband about my past, even though I could not tell him about it on our journey. We were not alone. But today, as soon as he comes, the first thing I’ll do is talk about my past.” Scene changes to someone clanging a hammer on a chariot wheel. It’s Adhiratha. “Husband” says Radha, “Seeing Karn’s archery, how happy the King and the Queen were!” Extension of canon fail no. #41, y’all. I will point out every single canon fail committed by the depiction of Glitterwash. “Yes, they were moved. But if they knew whose son he is, this very emotion would have changed to anger, Radha. You know that Sutas have the right to steer a chariot, not fire arrows.” (Okay…I daresay the Kuru society might have been a bit orthodox, but no one bats an eye when Glitterwash studies with the Princes…yeah, Dron is casteist, but neither did Glitterwash actually pass the test for the Brahmastra) “But why, Pitashree? You only said that things done with perfection are always respected.” “Do not debate, Karn. When a man does his job perfectly, he is respected. If he does others’ work, only bitterness and competition arises.” “Husband, are you meaning to say that the King would compete with him?” “Not the King, but the Kshatriyas of the nation. It will ruin our lives.” “I think the King will be happy and felicitate it. And you only say that the man who protects those who excel is the true King.” “You are still debating, Karn! I am saying again and again that this is a question of our family’s safety. Not just us, but the whole society, and you’re still stubborn? Fine, do it. Here’s an arrow. Let the whole world know that a Suta who can defeat Kshatriyas has been born in Hastina. Whatever happens to me and your mother, we’ll suffer through it. Lift the bow and arrow. Go.” Uh..NO. NOPE. For one, Kichak is a Suta, and he defeats plenty of Kshatriyas too. Second, in whatever battle we see glitterwash in canon (usually against Arjun) he gets his ass whipped. Or runs away. It’s hardly this badass. Canon fail again. What number is this? #43. Sweeping title BGM plays as Glitterwash lifts the bow and arrow and leaves. “Karn…” trails off Radha. Glitterwash walks to the shore of the Ganga and stands there, eyes closed, offering up the bow and arrow. Precap: Ms. Melodrama takes off the black string as Honey Boy enters. She looks up. “Husband, I wish to tell you something. You need to dispense justice.” He smiles at her. “Tell me. What is it?” “Husband, the thing is…”     Note 1: We’ve crossed 25.99K words! I’ll round it off to 26K. (Seriously, even my novel is somewhere around 31K right now, this is gonna overtake it fast.) And this isn’t even the 20th episode yet. Note 2: From canon fail #27- canon fail #43, almost all of them are related in some way or the other to Mr. Glitterwash. Gosh. That’s nearly half of them. And he’s just a kid right now, I’d say there are hundreds of canon fails coming up, brace yourselves for a very salty scribbler in the future.

[hanniejji]

rules: ship yourself with your favorite character and give headcanons on how your relationship would go

→ tagged by: @bnha-homeroom

→ tagging: @wesparklebitch @bakutae @cellotonin @bnhcs @jojosmilktea

look it's asking for only one character. and it's not specifically asking for a bnha character. you can't expect me to choose one and not feel bad because the others deserve love too gjsbf so i chose two i wanted to do all of them but that's too greedy of me tksbd im sorry :'<

warnings: this will be long. that's it.

TODOROKI SHOUTO

quiet duo™

it I met someone like shouto I wouldn't even like him at all

but there comes my considerate and civil treatment to all even with my resting bitch face

i watch everyone from the back so id notice if this man is having a hard time with socializing

me too boi we can be both antisocial

but tbh it'd be a quiet relationship with an occasional me screaming from emotions because that's how I am

we're both going to be uncomfortable with pda at first because tbh i only do that when I'm sleepy but it's ok we gotta take baby steps sometimes

but that doesn't mean I won't mother him and we all know this baby is touch starved so yes im going to give u all of the love u deserve

"get some rest pls you've been training for hours"

"i made your favorite soba, take a break bitch"

istg I'm a mother not a girlfriend

"let's both annoy enji and use his credit card until he's broke"

I CANNOT GUARANTEE THE SAFETY OF YOUR SHIRTS AND HOODIES BECAUSE THEY'RE MINE NOW

like damn id be giddy if he ever looks at me with those cute confused eyes for help with simple things or if he looks at me and ask if he's doing it right

mother mode level 1038104729

also damn id give him every food I can make like I don't need to stress bake to bake him some sweets or whatever

he'd probably do the same for me since I tend to overwork myself when I'm into things

but,, honey,, I don't want you to burn the kitchen

like yes pls pull me away from my textbook because I really don't understand a thing and even if I don't I'm sure my brain will still make me go read it over and over again

im never good with listening to others comforting me

like yes thank you very much but words are never a big impact to me after hearing it so much from people who don't even care anymore

so I'd appreciate his silence when I'm sad and he'd just hug me for comfort

he understands that all I need is someone to keep me on the ground, not force their words upon me

tbh I'd be more sleepy when I'm around him

he's the right amount of warm and cool, he's perfect dkfks let me just rest on his left side for warmth or his right side for some cooling off and boom. sleep.

there wouldn't be much of a fight tbh

I'm an open minded person and even if I don't agree with someone's opinion I wouldn't give a fuck

it's probably going to take the both of us long before we both open up to each other because we're both secretive but it'll probably be me who'd give in first

he'll probably catch me in my sulking mood and ask

I may be a mom but I'm also a dad

I'd fight bitches who think bad of shouto I WON'T HESITATE BITCH

he has to stop me physically from attacking a mutt because these claws are ready for some scratching

we're so similar yet so different at the same time lmao

that's all :D

LERO-RO

have you heard of this man's voice??? have you heard of this man's voice??

because what the fuck

i will not be able to not be in awe whenever he speaks and im sure my stupid self wouldn't be able to stop staring

like please talk to me more

speak with your morning voice pls

bless my ears

bless my fucking soul

idk man how did i end up with him?? im stupid and he's smart and im clumsy and he can kill a bitch for just two seconds??!

pray for me because this man is going to tease me for being 5"0 and he's a fucking tower pun intended

he's probably going to end up teaching me how to use a shinsu because— and I quote— "you're going to end up dying without me" but it'll be a bad idea because there's no guarantee that I won't use it to prank him or mess with people who irritate me :D

he's stressed™

"nO. you can't beat up another admin"

"i swear to fucking god if u do that— oh fuck u"

"please do"

like how did you end up with a quiet evil little bitch like me? go get yourself an angel because you're an angel yourself, we don't fit man

but he's also a sweet mf uwu he'd end up mothering me instead of me mothering him

but it's gonna be nice to be pampered y'all can't understand the pain of being a mother to everyone

and yes we're bam and khun's parents now

excuse me while I climb this 6 ft tree

he probably loves cuddling me from behind and placing his chin on my head

"I'm not a furniture go get your chair"

he's an test admin, he's gonna be stressed and tired of taking care of a bunch of children so it'll be my turn to smother him in love uwu here's your favorite food, a massage, a tea, some cuddles, and a warm bath for u and only u

I can sleep on him so watch me ask for a piggy back ride just to sleep

and he can't deny me of that ride because I'd look sluggish and tired and sleepy and no one can say no to my face

ill kith his two moles uwu

honestly, we'd probably have petty arguments sometimes because of my idgaf attitude while he's more of a respectful + polite + appropriate person

let me have my freedom pls I don't like being uptight :((

and there goes my insecure ass because no, this man is too good for me, and im just stupid for giving it a try

and masking my emotions wouldn't work with him

he's gonna see it from miles away and he's going to confront me about what im upset about and he's going to blame himself for it because that's just how it is

but it's ok, it takes two for a relationship to work

we'd reassure each other from our insecurities and we'll be ok

he's probably going to treat me. like I'm some cat or something which I am

I'm pretty sure he'd be weirded out by my weird habits like yes I can sleep everywhere unless it's noisy and yes I stress bake and yes I drink coffee but still fall asleep and yes I love food give me food

he's an observant man, he's going to notice how I say no to thing even tho I want to say yes because I don't prioritize myself and he's going to scold me for it

we probably have a "us time" every so often because we both need to rest and just enjoy each other's presence

in other words, shouto and leroro deserve someone better than me :'D

[marculees]

50 Questions Tag

Catching up on my tags! Tagged by @sunshine-jaehyun and @pikachulein thank you <3

What takes up too much of your time? Thinking too much and making myself panic hahah

What makes your day better? Getting the early bus home from college while its still sunny outside and I can eat dinner with my family rather than alone at night

What’s the best thing to happen to you today? I can’t pick one particular thing but it was a nice day!

What fictional place would you like to go to? Neverland pls

Are you good at giving advice? I think only someone else can answer for me hahaha but I get asked for it a lot so maybe? Everyone likes to hear different things so it depends on the person >.<

Do you have a mental illness? No, I don’t think so anyway

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No but I have nightmares nearly every night lol

What musician inspired you the most? Kodaline <3

Have you ever fallen in love? I think love is a very strong word and while I have certainly had crushes, I’m not sure whether I’ve really experienced true love yet. I’ve recently gotten into a relationship though and I’m very soft for him so he could convince me otherwise if I try to be vulnerable enough, pls pray for me ;-; his moon is in my 8th house so i probably wont have a choice and just do it naturally oops

What’s your dream date? I have multiple ones: arcades/bowling/picnic in park/playing sports/homemade dinner/orchestra/petting farm or rescue shelter to play with the animals uwu

What do others notice about you? A lot of people point out my accent and ask where I’m from because they don’t believe I’m from my town (I sound ‘posh’ apparently dklshjvgv), they also make lots of comments on my figure and lips. In terms of personality, a lot of people point out my public speaking and contributions to class discussions or small conversations which has led to me getting very flustered but proud when pointed out :S

What’s an annoying habit you have? Turning down 99% of invites to go on nights-out/parties and then getting offended when not asked anymore lmao

Do you still talk to your first love? No, he’s a very different person now and so am I and there’s nothing wrong with that :)

How many exes do you have? 1

How many songs are in your playlist? I have multiple playlists that range from 10 - 700+ songs :’)

What instruments can you play? Tin whistle nearly everyone in Ireland can so I don’t really count it haha

What do you have the most pictures of? My cat lol

Where would you like to go before you die? Iceland to see the Northern Lights

What’s your Zodiac? Leo

Do you relate to it? In parts, yes. I have other signs for my other personal planets though, so no Leo stellium or anything

What is happiness to you? Acknowledging negatives but choosing to appreciate the small things in life more

Are you going through anything right now? Yes, I think we all are! Please know that there are so many people out there who can help you and we’ve all got each other here <3

What’s the worst decision you ever made? Being nice to people who didn’t give me the same treatment oof

What’s your favourite store? Toy shops! I always feel happy in them c:

What’s your opinion on abortion? If you don’t want one, don’t have one but don’t stop someone else who does or needs one. Its none of your business so fck off -.-

Do you keep a bucket list? I do actually

Do you have a favourite album? Politics of Living - Kodaline

What do you want for your birthday? Headphones or money. Its depending on what news I am yet to have confirmed with me...

What are most people’s first impressions of you? Again, everyone assumes I’m posh? In school I was considered “smart, quiet and nice”. Now in college, a lot of people have said I come across as confident and outgoing shkdvjkgvjk so identity crisis much?

What age do you seem according to most people? Appearance - 12 y/o and personality - 5 y/o

Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? On my dresser

What word to you say the most? “Grand”, “lads“, “f*ck”

What’s the oldest age you would date? I’m turning 20 in August so like...22/23? I have a big worry about being looking really young compared to my partner and people thinking they’re my older brother/babysitter/dad :L

What’s the youngest age you would date? A year younger but that’s it, otherwise I feel like a creep lmao

What job/career do most people say would suit you? Either teaching or something to do with activism and politics. People also say therapist but I get frustrated with overly negative/lazy people far too easily and I’d probably snap, I’m really sorry :(

What’s your favourite music genre? I listen to a bit of everything but rock has a special place in my heart <3

If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? It has its flaws but I’d still pick Ireland. However, I really wanted to do a study abroad in Canada next year so if I had enough money I could have lived there for a year dkvhdklhdkv

What is your current favourite song? Ready - Kodaline

How long have you had this blog for? 2 or 3 years, I think?

What are you excited for? A possible seaside holiday with my family and best friend, starting pole fitness class next week, and seeing my bf this weekend ^-^

Are you a better talker or listener? Talker, I think. I love public speaking and I get many compliments for it! I’d love to inspire people through my words and presence *-*

What is the last productive thing you did? Scrolling through job listings and realising how unqualified I am >.<

What do you want for Christmas? Video games

What class do you get the best grades in? It was sociology and then I dropped it this year which was probably a mistake lol I still get firsts (A’s) in my international development modules though and this semester was definitely an improvement in my business modules!

On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? Like a 7?

What can you see yourself doing in ten years? Hopefully an author or entrepreneur who is inspiring young people to chase their own dreams and not let anybody tell them they can’t <3

When did you get your first heartbreak? 14 maybe? I was actually relieved when I broke up with my ex (17) but I felt like sh*t when a crush said they liked me back and then asked if they could date my friend instead, when I was 14 lol

What age do you want to get married? At the very least 28 but there isn’t any rush and idk if I want to anyway because tbh I just want the whole cute dressing-up and ceremony with loved ones and softness oops buuuut people just keep asking if you’re gonna have kids after and its like pls stfu :))))))

What career did you want to have as a child? Ballerina and a bodybuilder simulataneously O.o

What do you crave right now? A cuddle and kiss on my cheek from a certain someone <3

I’ll tag @happysmilebtr @wouldujae @im-mei @youmademydawnh @castielsinwhite @9empo @smittenbyschmidt and anyone else who would like to do it!

[flutenby]

Tagged by @in-the-key-of-f-major

1. Nicknames: don’t have any, my name is too short lol

2. Zodiac Sign: scorpio but I give 0 fucks

3. Height: 164cm idc about your silly system length means nothing to me anyway

4. Hogwarts House: slytherin yeet

5. Last thing I Googled: “shostakovich symphony 5 score“ bc its in an audition and i like to listen and follow along with the score except nope nope cant find that for free and downloadable (theres the nyphil one but I cant access it on a plane which is fiiiine i guess ill do it when I actually get home or maybe borrow the actual score from the library who knows we’ll see)

6. Favorite musicians: mmmm this goes in cycles but right now keiino and hatari (eurovisioooooon)

7. Song stuck in my head: Praying by keiino (fortunately its a song I like lol)

8. Followers: 106

9. Following: 230

10. Do you get asks: nope

11. Amount of sleep: uhhhh 9ish because im on break now, when im not like 6 or 7?

12. Lucky number: no such thing

13. What are you wearing: my pajamas (long thick winter ones), grey and dark grey

14. Dream job: musician without having to teach (please i get asked about how i want to career enough idk fam)

15. Dream trip: uhhhhh probably a europe trip that involves getting masterclasses? or doing auditions? or like a summer school maybe?? idk. id like to see bolshoi at bolshoi though thatd be goood (or any russian ballet in russia tbh)

16. Instruments: flute

17. Languages: just english. i, like us all, attempt to pick up languages and fail drastically very quickly but I can read cyrillic script and take a close enough guess at pronuciation, and I can read some japanese as well (what little kanji knowledge i had has dwindled though...)

18. Favorite song: uhhhhhh changes week to week but atm praying by keiino it goooood

19. Random Fact: i am attempting to keep doing ballet bc its great so yeah i slightly ballet still

20. Aesthetic: sparkly fashion scarves, stuff falling everywhere, always an extra pencil or 5, inner city buildings, pride flags, face up to the rain

tagging: @purpletrackies @elliefluteelephant @the-argumentative-viper @narpas @ignorance-on-fire uhhhh probably forgot some people sorry!

[wlwtsubomi]

Can any of your OCs cook? Where are they on the spectrum from “I’ve been cooking since I could walk and I’ve never made a bad dish” to “last tuesday I tried to make a microwave lasagna and my house burned down.”

oh wow ill kill for u hmmmmm

might have to limit these to just. major characters. bc yeah as i said before i have,,, a lot,,,,,, of ocs kasgjsadj ;w; so ill probs go thru this in order by works 

(list under the cut!)

osas;

merope Definitely cooks. he makes the food he serves at his bar himself and he kinda had to learn after [redacted]. since merope can cook, he occasionally has bodil help him cook so she Also can cook. not as good at merope can, but its more than nothing.

iovita probably also helped people cook. namely his moms. he goes on to pick up on cooking later on (stress baking?) so he can also cook!! hes p good!!! daresay a lot better than merope bc the place where iovita is from has A LOT more variety in food than meelat does

sorin can maybe make a mean olive oil on bread. but thats Maybe It. hes really interested in cooking (mainly bc he couldnt rly cook fullblown meals in ruresi) so i can see him watching iovita cook?? just kinda lurking. iovita might drag sorin into helping him cook. wow thats a rly good and soft idea i came up w just now good job me.

aludra and conan just dump things into a pot and pray to the gods. aludra set her family kitchen on fire once trying to make rice. conan tries to get sorin help but sorin also doesnt know how to cook. they make the most bland food in history bc sorin still gets overwhelmed by spices and conan doesnt measure anything. he dumps in a whole cup of milk when the recipe asked for a quarter of a cup. its terrible. bodil iovita and merope are crying. iovita eats it anyway out of pity. he wants to be supportive of sorin.

red eyes (tag is yesterday it rained (today the sky fell));

literally calanthe is the only one out of the three of them who can cook. she picked it up sometime thru the series id think. saga probably pitched the idea to her as an alternative to smoking. bc i mean, cooking is technically a thing that cal herself can control? so. saga is so proud of cal despite the fact that saga herself cant cook.

seven literally existed to fill in a background role. he cant cook. BUT i can see after canon him asking calanthe to teach him, once he realizes he can be More than what he was created to do. god did ur ask make cooking a significant thing for red eyes? i think u did. omg

contact (tag is longness of semper);

burumu is the houses’ designated cook. he can actually make consistently good food. ivy can KINDA cook but its rly a toss of the coin with her. its either ok or its terrible. theres no inbetween. nebula can make mac and cheese. thats it.

blake can live off of those weird dried compressed ration things they sell in those sports stores. they cant cook. they CAN cut things p well though. but thats rly the extent of what theyre able to do i think.

landry throws whatever they can get their hands on into a blender and chugs that shit. they dont fear any god.

saccha is. odd. bc he can only bake. thats rly it. he ALSO stress bakes. which is to say, hes stressed a lot. hes good at baking though! but like if you asked him to make idk soup or something he gets so nervous that he freezes over the entire thing and you can Tell that it was just reheated in the microwave but you just give him a really tightlipped smile and nod.

reynold can make some food but like. not a lot. its mostly just like rly easy to make things that take rly fast like grilled cheese or ramen. hes doing his best.

molly cant cook for the sake that she would let landry chill with her in the kitchen and landry would yell for molly to turn up the heat and against all common sense (which no one in this godforsaken source) molly WOULD. they burn down an entire building. alex cant get too angry bc honestly if they were in the same position as molly, they would also listen to landry.

mx lux (tag is put out your beating heart);

surprisingly, all three of the main group can cook. anja can cook bc she wanted to be able to cook for maria so she SPEEDRAN cooking lessons. now she can cook. then sol was like :O holy shit u can cook can u cook for me??? and anja was like ‘no’ so she forced them to learn how to cook for themself. marty also knows how to cook bc he cooks for himself?? so.

nike and faustus cant be trusted to cook. for the point that nikes wings are Big so either he cant fit in the kitchen if its too small or he accidentally catches his wings on fire. faustus goes and is like “well if im gonna cook then i should try to figure out if i can Cheat The System by familiarizing myself to the cooking things” but then faustus zones out and just ends up sitting in the oven for like 3 hours. then faustus doesnt even end up cooking.

my warriors ocs are cats. they cant cook.

also im still not finished with the class for season 37. so i have no clue if they can cook for not. 

[yeollie-bells]

Since its Christmas, and Christmas to me is celebrating the love you have for your loved ones, I want to drop some sap on you all, my loved ones.

@silvertae , @joyuria , @heterosexyeol , @irmapotter (idk why it wont let me tag you ill fight it) @vysanimehouse aka the girls of the group chat, the sweetest things ive known. You are all so unbelievably sweet and caring, I don’t know what i would do without you. I’m so blessed and so so lucky to have gotten the chance to know you and message you and I really sincerely hope you all know how much i love you, and that you can always come to me for anything, i am here for every single one of you any time of the day or night. I will do whatever I can for you no matter what. You are all so so beautiful inside and out, youre so passionate and caring and youre going to do great things in your lives, youre going to help so many people and love so many people and the people who love you are going to be so lucky to have and love you.  @rayluneia my precious precious girl. I met you during the hardest part of my life and I thank every god there is every day for it. I would be completely lost without you. Without you i wouldnt be who I am today, youve made me a good person, a better person, you made me happier, more confident and excited. Youve given me my drive to learn and create back, and I am so, so grateful. Every time i see your name, or i see the color blue, or anything floral and beautiful, I think of you and im immediately put at ease. Today is also your birthday, all I can do is wish you a happy, wonderful relaxing day, but I hope, in the near future, i will be able to give you a hug and tell you in person, Happy Birthday, I love you so much. You are the light of my life and without you I would be in the dark. @taehyungs-sidehoe My beautiful girl, im so glad weve reconnected, and im so, so sorry for any pain ive caused you. I will do whatever it takes to not do that to you again. I want you to know i am here for you always, you can never bother me. If i ever disappear i might jus tbe overwhelmed with life and dont want to bother you or bring you down, but i am ALWAYS here. You are beautiful and smart and creative and i am so lucky to know you, to get to be able to call myself your friend. I will never not be grateful for what youve done for me, for the happiness youve given me and ill never forget the weird, amazing funny things weve talked about. I love how you support me, i dont deserve it, not even a little bit, but im selfish and im grateful. Thank you for standing by me even though Im not nearly worthy enough @lunarhoseok We havent known each other long, but you are a blessing. Youre so sweet, and so thoughtful. I wish i could just bundle you up and keep you safe from the world, give you all the attention you need and deserve. You deserve all of the good things this world has to offer.  @onettsunset I miss you a lot!! we dont talk often anymore, but i think about you every day! I see how your life has turned and im overjoyed. You may not have your dream job (yet) but you have love and that just warms my heart. You are an amazing human being, and I wish for nothing but the best for you and your love.  @glaivenoct You are so, so sweet, so unbelievably kind. You really lifted me up when I was down with one simple comment. You will never know how much that little comment meant to me, still means to me. We havent known each other long but I hope for many more years of our kindling friendship!! I want you to know i am here for you always, no matter what. Consider me a big sister, i will do whatevers in my power to comfort, empower and embolden you. You are one of the brightest stars and the world will shine for you! @blue-inferno We dont talk often but I want you to know i adore you. You are so sweet and so thoughtful and so so so freaking talented!! Anyone that gets to know you in real life, in person, should know how lucky they are to know someone as amazing as you! @kpoplookingglass Oh my sweet sweet girl, I dont deserve you at ALL. You are so thoughtful, even when you bully me i love you. Youre so kind and helpful and you go through so much that you dont deserve. I would like to take everyone that has hurt you or used you in your life, and just fucking punch them in the face into the ocean. Youre sweet and thoughtful and kind and you know me without even having to ask things you just KNOW me. One day i hope to be able to do for you what you do for me. Im not very good at showing my love and appreciation but you will never know how much you mean to me. You are one of the lil loves of my life and Im glad to know you, i hope to one day see you in person, hug you and cry on you all the while babbling nonsense about how much i love you @piratesvsninjas13 we dont talk a lot anymore but i think about you often! Youve been so kind to me and I miss you, I hope youre doing well, i pray for good things for you, because you deserve it. I care about you a lot and want to see you achieve the things you deeply want to! @hypercopykitty I dont know what I would do without you. You put up with so much from me and again, like everyone on this list, i dont deserve even a minute of your attention, but i covet it. You are doing some amazing things in your life, and im so, so happy for your happiness. I may not talk as much as i nearly should or give you enough attention or buy you enough presents (lets be real, you deserve the WORLD as well) but i do love you so very much. You are my sweet girl and seeing the happiness youve carved out for yourself fills me with the warmest joy of all, I am so, so lucky to know you. @rosedecay We’ve been through a lot together, some ups, some downs, weve had our problems and weve come out stronger for it. I know it might not mean much, but you mean the world to me, youre my oldest friend, and im always here for you, i might have my moods, but thats what makes me human, if you need me, ill be there for you, bad mood or not, i wish i could help you, because I know you suffer, and you dont deserve it, but youre strong and I know you can make it through this. I just want to see you love yourself the way I love you, I want you to take care of yourself the way you deserve, i want you to find the love you deserve and i want you to finally grasp the happiness youve fought so hard to deserve. I dont want you thinking youre worthless or unattractive or untalented, because i see you, i know you, you are all of the beauty, talent and worth there is that can be fit into the earth. Youre kind, sweet, thoughtful. You have a hard time expressing yourself and its hard and i dont like seeing you struggle, but youll get through it. Youre beautiful and strong, so brave and so sweet. I love you so, so much.

[transmasculinedean]

my tags: #does this mean humans in purgatory are a wound?#because the portal out of purgatory is also shaped like this (albeit horizontally)#hmm idk maybe purgatory treats them like an illness? it has an immune response that purges them?

@dilfzemo :#per prev tags I mean from a Catholic standpoint we do view purgatory as a limbo where one doesn’t want to be there so we pray for their them#pray for their souls to get to heaven so like...from that standpoint yeah you could totally see purgatory as that

Oh man this was definitely not intended as the 'portal out of purgatory for humans only' was just a lazy plot device to answer how they were gonna write their way out of their season 7 cliff hanger.....BUT,

This has such fun implications!!! I've never gotten to read posts talking abt the way the show wrote purgatory and I'm dying to talk about it. Why is it monster hell? What does that say about monsters and what does it say about people in the supernatural universe?

just thinking and I really appreciate how portals in the show always look like jagged scars open in mid-air because 1) cool, and 2) it gives the impression that reality is a body you can wound

[ka-za-ri]

Galene (Prompto x FemOC)

Genre: Slice of Life Rating: SFW Pairing: Prompto x Female OC????  Wordcount: 2,113 Suggested Listening: 月に照らされ、風に揺れる華 -- Hanafugetsu Tags: @roses-and-oceans @r-e-g-a-l-i-a @sweetchocobae @rubyphilomela @thirsty-angst-lord @hypaalicious (???? Is this ok??? IDK if ppl wanted to be tagged bc lmao it’s not Ignis) Notes: Yeah, that’s right. You CAN believe your eyes. It’s not Ignis. My muse is out of control and wanted me to do a character study on Prompto. Because of that one post floating around that said he was neglected as a child. Hooo buddy, I had feels. No beta in sight, more experimental stuff. 

GALE′NE (Galênê), a personification of the calm sea, and perhaps identical with Galateia, one of the Nereides, is called by Hesiod (Theog. 244) a daughter of Nereus and Doris.

--

Prompto Argentum lived on a borrowed name and made up time. What he wished to belong to him was created for a purpose not his own. He hid this fact through a smile that was brighter than the sun and wider than the skies along with a laugh and louder than the storms. Prompto Argentum was made up of fragments and of broken promises.

As beautiful as the city was, the world beyond it seemed so dreamlike to him. What photos he could take of the jagged horizon were always too blurry, imperfect, idyllic, manufactured. He wanted many things in life, trust, friendship, acceptance, but more than anything, he wanted sleep. Tucked into the corner of the city, a commoner dressed as a Crownsguard in training, he wished for space, a place to think to hear what thoughts could be his and his alone.

Loneliness was something he was familiar with. In a gated community filled with older folks who kept more to themselves than their neighbors, he found solace in capturing moments in time through his camera when his heart skipped a beat at the beauty that surrounded him. Through the click of a shutter and a shy glance up to make sure no one was watching, he hoarded images, hoping, praying that they would live for him. Life for him was perfectly serene, and he had warm memories of trying to take pictures of the void of stars at night above the water.

Prompto found himself walking a lot. Most of the time, it was in the dead of the night when it was quietest and his thoughts almost seemed to collect correctly. Strolling the streets, he learned the corners and the quaintness of his neighborhood as the critters of the night scampered off, eventually leading him to the beach. He never needed music to listen to when his feet lead him to the water. The sound of gently lapping waves accompanied the beating of his heart and provided the booming baseline to his footsteps being the only sounds that he needed to think, to breath, to believe that he was real.

He often counted stars during those long walks, thinking them as a reflection of the freckles on his face. Each constellation he matched fell from the heavens to kiss gently at his cheeks and take a little bit of the stress he felt away from him. As the waves caressed at the corners of his consciousness, he could almost believe he was once born, and not made to be human. As the tide fell when the moon retreated, so did the tension of being and all that was left was his ability to believe.

Fondly, most fondly of all, he remembered the first night to the beach. He sat on a rock that was still holding onto the last vestiges of warmth from the sun, staring out into the darkened waters as moonlight rippled and played across the surface. It was the first night he didn't need his camera to capture the magic of the world around him. As tempting as the water seemed to be, the first nip of autumn air prevented him from dipping his toes into its inky depths. As brightly as he shone during the day, he could not let anyone know how weak he was to illness. That night, he recalls most fondly of throwing the windows to his room wide open so that he could continue to listen to the restless ocean just past his reach.

--

Six weeks of regularly walking at the beach and Prompto Argentum began to hallucinate.

There's no way she's real.

Thursday night, just past 3 AM on a routine walk, the peaceful lull of waves was interrupted by the unfamiliar sound of splashing and a voice that shone brighter in the dark night than his smile in the sun. Someone, laughed and sang during his hours of the dead when he was sure no one was awake.

Down by the pier she danced in the dark, glassy waters of the night, laughing and squealing at the fish that darted and danced by her legs. She sang loudly, off key and off tune to songs from at least three decades ago. The way she moved smelled strongly of chrysanthemums and orange blossoms in the summer. Despite the chill of autumn setting in, she flailed and swam in the darkened water as if it was the middle of summer.

Under a waxing moon which nestled between Castor and Pollux, Prompto Argentum met a goddess who was drenched in the light of the stars while moonbeams dripped heavily from her eyelids.

She didn't notice him until he was only about thirty paces from the end of the pier.

"Oh, hello! I didn't think people were up this late! What's up? Couldn't sleep?" Her first interaction reminded him of a wide-eyed curious child, naive to the world.

"I usually take a walk down by here to help me go to sleep" He replied, skeptical, and sure he was still strongly imagining everything.

"No, no. There has got to be a better reason why someone like you would be up this late, walking around here like you've never seen water before." She disappeared underneath the dark surface of the water and Prompto felt himself sigh in relief, realizing the moment was over. When she appeared again, at the edge of the pier, arms crossed on the wooden planks, hair swirling around her face in a tangled mess, he felt his heart stop. "Come on now, there's got to be a story behind all of this."

"There really isn't a story to any of this. It's just... nice and quiet here." He shrugged before coming to his senses that yes, there was someone there and yes, they were speaking to him. He couldn't help but wish that his camera was with him to catch the way the moonlight made her hair looked curled and wild.

"Quiet is the only good thing about this place, really." She scoffed.

"Well, I mean, it's better than during the day when it's all noisy."

"I guess you have a point there." She sighed and shifted her weight a bit, making the planks of wood groan slightly. "There's literally nothing to do here though. All the people are old and no one ever swims in the water during the day. I mean have you seen how much trash there is?"

"Wait, then why are you in the water now?"

"Because I want to be. But that's beside the point. You never really answered my question. Why are you here? There's no way a pretty thing like you grew up here. All the old grannies would be spoiling you rotten to the core. Did you move here recently?"

"I... I grew up here. I just, don't really go out much. But I just started coming to the beach recently. How did you figure?"

Maybe it was just the way the water lapped at her waist as she clung to the edge of the pier that made her seem like a sprite straight out of a fairy tale. Or perhaps it was the moonlight casting a glowing halo around that made her seem absolutely surreal and ethereal to him. Still, a deeply skeptical part of him truly wanted to believe he was imagining this whole scenario.

"Well, first, there are no younger people here. I'm just visiting my folks for a little bit. Been away for a while. I'm an ornithologist y'know. Most of my studies are on chocobos, but I really like to run around finding the big ones, like ruhks! So, my reasearch takes me all over the place." She let out a dreamy sigh and settled her head back down on her arms. "It's nice though, coming back for a bit and taking a dip every now and then. Secondly, if you need to take a walk around here to lull you to sleep from the city sounds, you must be one hell of a light sleeper, kid."

"I'm not a kid! I have a name. It's Prompto. And you'd best remember it. I'm training to be a Crownsguard." Prompto huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Look, it's just, nice to walk around here at night. It's like you, coming back to your parents' place."

As much as he tried not to show it, he felt a twinge of envy that she even had a place with parents to come back to. What with how often he saw his own folks, it was difficult to swallow the bitter feeling that was rising from the back of his throat. She, as carefree as the world, had the one thing that he wanted.

"No, no." She countered, shaking him out of the foul mood that was sinking through his skin. "You see, those are two different things. I'm coming back here because I have a familial obligation and it's a free room for a few days before I have to head out again. You, on the other hand willingly bring yourself to walk around in the dead of the night so you could experience 'peace and quiet.' Prompto. You may be a Crownsguard in training, but man, you're weird. Have you ever heard of earplugs? They work miracles on loud noises, and you'll get a lot more sleep that way 'cause y'know, you're not up and about in the dead of the night."

Any chance Prompto had to reply was cut short as she floated off to play with more invisible fish in the impossibly dark water. Prompto didn't really have much of an answer to her question. He could have easily found the quiet he wanted in other ways, but he chose to seek the water as if it was the only place that mattered to him. Perhaps it was that magnetic draw to it that eventually brought him to her.

How sorely he wished he had his camera to catch the stars as they flickered in the night sky while she laughed and sang songs he had only briefly heard in snippets while browsing radio stations.

The rest of the night, he sat at the edge of the pier, feet numb and dipped into the water, watching as she swam around, laughing and talking to her fishy friends. The part of him which thought it was all an illusion at first became the part of him that yearned for her to talk to him and not her silent, swimming friends.

By the time the night waned and Prompto got himself to bed, he refused to open his windows. The sound of waves that night were too loud with the sound of free will and singing fish.

~~

In the morning, at his front doorstep. His shoes and a bright pink sticky note with a message scrawled on it:

Goofball, you left your shoes at the end of the pier. At least the grannies here were nice enough to point me in the direction of your place. You're lucky I'm not your shoe size because I would have made these mine if I could.

The place her name should have been was smudged and illegible. His shoes had been spitefully filled with sand and he couldn't help but laugh at her petty nature. Six, I should have asked for her name...

The rest of his day, the whole scenario of their conversation haunted him. The scrap of paper with her written note burned in his pocket and he found himself constantly fidgeting with it. He found himself forgetting most of what he was supposed to be training for and ending up with more bruises that day than he cared to talk about. Not that there were a lot of people he could talk to about them in the first place.

By the end of his scheduled day, out of sheer frustration and impulse, the weightless note became an unbearable burden to him and he threw it in the garbage.

He destroyed the one and only memento he had from a conversation with a water goddess. Though the object itself was temporal, the memory of her moon drenched figure lived forever in Prompto's mind. And he would chase that image forever move with his camera in hand.

Prompto Argentum lived on borrowed time and makeshift memories. However, he'd now count the pictures he's taken and they would more than make up for the lost time that wasn't his.

[elloette]

85 Statements Tag Game

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

I was tagged by @clara-is-brave. Thanks, hun! 💕 (I haven’t responded to a lot of things I’ve been tagged in lately, but I’ll get to them eventually.)

I tag: @zeno-lives, @rowofstars, @thescholarlystrumpet, @marvella15, @straightarrowlife, @bliphany, @gwendolynnby, @thatexactleaf, @umuggle,  @kronoskingofthemonkeypeople, and @coffee-and-classic-rock

The last…  

1. Drink: Ice water

2. Phone call: Nancy, a lovely older lady in my choir who called to see how I am doing and to pray for me. What a sweetheart she is!

3. Text message: Diane, another lady in my choir checking in on me.

4. Song you listened to: lol does the Great British Bake Off theme count?

5. Time you cried: Friday

6. Dated someone twice: Nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: omg yes.

8. Been cheated on: I mean most likely yes. I am not even going to go into it, but the likelihood is 98% yes.

9. Lost someone special: Several, but especially this year. My dear friend Maggie suddenly passed away from heart failure after having her baby.

10. Been depressed: Um, yeah I’d say so. This year has just repeatedly kicked me in the teeth, and it’s not even done with me yet. 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Oh gosh...yeah one time. This past year. Finally figured out my limit. 

Favourite colors

12. Blue

13. Grey

14. White

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: Yes.

16. Fallen out of love: Yes? But it was also a years long process.

17. Laughed until you cried: I usually do when I laugh hard.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: No.

19. Met someone who changed you: Hmmm.... I’m not sure if I’ve changed. But I’ve met some great people this year.

20. Found out who your friends are: I’ve probably always known. 

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yup. 

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life? Almost every single one, except for a few good friends I’ve made online.

23. Do you have any pets? Yes. Two very fluffy cats.

24. Do you want to change your name? Mmmm it’s alright I guess.

25. What did you do for your last birthday? ...what did I do for my birthday.... Oh hahaha omg I think I got food poisoning, in the middle of video chatting with someone. Happy birthday to me. 

26. What time did you wake up? about 8

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? Climbing into bed.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: OCTOBER 🍁

29. When was the last time you saw your mum? She’s right here! I’m so happy my mom is here with me now.

31. What are you listening to right now? My mom doing some extra cleaning for me in the kitchen. She’s doing anything extra that I’m having a hard time with right now and she’s amazing. 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Pretty sure I went to school with a couple, so yeah?

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: I should have had my referral for a neurosurgeon today by the latest. ...Guess what I still don’t have. Called the urgent care twice, and the person who normally does all of that is out today and apparently no one else knows anything about it. 

34. Most visited website: It’s absolutely tumblr.

35. Hair colour: Reddish blonde? 

36. Long or short hair? Long.

37. Do you have a crush on someone: omg don’t look at me next question

38. What do you like about yourself? I like that I am good at lots of different creative things, especially musical ability because it’s my favorite way to de-stress.

39. Piercings: Just my ears.

40. Blood type: I’m sure I have one?

41. Nickname: Elle, and Tinkerbell by my mama.

42. Relationship status: Let’s just skip this for now m’kay?

43. Zodiac: Sagittarius.

44. Pronouns: She/her.

45. Favourite TV show: Doctor Who.

46. Tattoos: None. Yet.

47. Right or left handed: Right.

48. Surgery: I had one as a baby to fix a cleft palate, one to have my wisdom teeth out, and two abdominal ones over the last couple of years for my chronic illness. And who knows what’s next. 

49. Piercing: My ears.

50. Sport: As in favorite? As in one I’ve played? I’m gonna need you to be more specific. I did do swimming for 7 years, but not on a team. Just lessons, and diving, and life guard training etc.

51. Holiday: As in favorite? ...Christmas maybe?

52. Pair of trainers: I have these cute cobalt blue New Balance ones, with coral accents, and they’re pretty fab.

More general

53. Eating: I had an amazing dinner at a local Italian place where I had freshly made herb pappardelle pasta with balsamic marinated tomatoes, portobello mushrooms, fresh basil, capers, and prosciutto. And freshly made vanilla gelato with italian chocolate biscotti and chocolate fudge. Um. Heaven, y’all. 

54. Drinking: More ice water.

55. I’m about to: Watch more Bake Off!

56. Waiting for: This referral to a neurosurgeon so I can start getting clear answers for what’s wrong with me and decide next steps.

57. Want: Whatever this is that showed up on my brain scan to just disappear.

58. Get married: I’m gonna have to give you a rain check on that answer.

59. Career: Some kind of social advocacy, where I can also use my creative skills. 

60. Hugs or kisses: Both yes please.

61. Lips or eyes: Eyes.

62. Shorter or taller: Well I wish I was shorter. I’ve always wanted to be tiny and adorable. Other people, doesn’t matter.

63. Older or younger: Myself or people I’d be interested in? Anything is fine as long as the gap isn’t enormous and there’s no large power imbalance.

64. Nice arms or nice stomach: Oh I’d like a little of both for myself, other people I have no preference. Muscles are nice, but so is some softness.

65. Hook up or relationship: Relationship.

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant.

67. Kissed a stranger: omg yeah practically. 

68. Drank hard liquor: Yeah, and one in Korea that came in a cup the size of a thimble. It literally almost knocked me out of my chair. 

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No.

70. Turned someone down: Yes.

71. Sex on the first date: No way.

72. Broken someone’s heart: Possibly.

73. Had your heart broken: To the point where I think I should just throw in the towel.

74. Been arrested: Nope.

75. Cried when someone died: Sigh.....so much.

76. Fallen for a friend: more than once omg i’m trash next question

Do you believe in …

77. Yourself: With some things.

78. Miracles: Yes, although I think they’re rare.

79. Love at first sight: Attraction yes, love no.

80. Santa Claus: Nope. Also figured out pretty young that Santa’s handwriting looks exactly like my mom’s lol

81. Kiss on the first date: If I know the person already then maybe yes, if I’ve never met them before then probably no.

82. Angels: Yes.

Other

83. Current best friend’s name: I’m maybe not gonna say on here? idk?

84. Eye colour: Blue, but kind of a deeper greenish blue. 

85. Favourite movie: The Princess Bride, and probably Drop Dead Gorgeous. 

[sceaweretemp]

hello everyone so i am shaking really bad as i type this but ok here we go

it’s sceawere/the-mosthappy here

tumblr just terminated my account? with no warning i’m so confused and scared

i have no idea what happened i went to delete some posts from an old side blog and then my page refreshed and it wouldn’t let me log back in

then came the ominous ‘account terminated’ screen

so right now i’m having a panic attack that’s not an exagerration i have been on tumblr for about 7 years and used it throughout my breakdown and recovery and if i’ve lost all of that stuff/those people idk what i’m going to do this was literally a fucking lifeline to me and im praying this was just a mistake or something we can sort out???

i wanted to let people know what was happening and i’m reallt scared rn but i’ve seen that this has happened to other people and they’ve had them brought back? but it took them a couple days? idk i’ve emailed support idk what’s happening i’m genuinly emotional and panicking rn my anxiety is through the roof i’m aware this isn’t a rational response but like i say this place is incredibly important to me

i use tumblr as my main social thing ya know being basically housebound with my mental illness atm makes this place really important to me so thsi is really affecting me rn ummm idk what else to say sorry everyone please bare with me

i don’t know how to get ppl to see this bc i can’t remember all your urls so like i’m just going to put it in my usual tags and hope you guys see it

also @annaleyson sorry hun it’s tatties and idk what’s happening

[preheating-oven]

Heres some random things about me that I’m supposed to answer or something. Thank you @spunkyghost for the tag. I’ll probably super indecisive and do this wrong but here we go.

if you had to eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would you choose?

pizza, no doubt. My favorite spots are these 2 local spots by UNCC; da vincis and benny pennellos.

do you prefer writing by hand or typing?

I’m equally bad at both but I like handwriting a little better (good luck trying to decipher anything i write.)

favorite age you’ve been so far?

I’ve only been 20 for less than 2 weeks and its been my favorite so far. I’ve dedicated my time to the things that have mattered most to me and I’ve never felt more focused and in control of my life and where I’ll take myself.

proudest achievement/moment?

Hmmmm Me and some of my friends put together some really cool music just recently and put out a 3 song ep that has been super well received by not just friends but strangers as well. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do and seeing happen and listening to all the work we put into it is super gratifying. Check us out or something(; matter704.bandcamp.com

do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

I haven’t in years

apple or PC?

Apple I guess. Idk computers and their connection to capitalism creep me out.

eReaders or physical books?

Physical book for sure. Being an art major you realize very quickly that viewing things in print and on a screen are worlds, moons, galaxies different from each other, so yeah analog for life.

favorite song lyrics?

This dreaded question. I have so many to name one particular so heres a couple that have clicked with me recently.

How to never stop being sad- Dandelion Hands

repeat to yourself that they’re not really gone time has proven that fooling yourself into believing a lie is the most effective way to deal with things you have no control over keep listening to the mixtapes they made you overanalyse every single word you hear “was this a sign that things were going wrong” no no, you were the one that cared too hard, not them stay up every single night staring at your phone either attempting to gather up the courage to turn these demons, these constant reminders of your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream or praying just for one second you could feel the warmth of equally returned love go out for coffee four times a week by yourself always bring your notebook, never stop writing leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip watch them smile as you get in your car always talk down on yourself whenever possible my life is shit because i deserve it, right? you must have done something real bad its nearly impossible for you to cry now avoid your friends for weeks even though they’re the only sense of consistency you have left in your life, if they really wanted to see you they’d come, but they won’t (who cares?) allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love watch as you begin to take a backseat to the world around you, don’t fight it become a secondary character in your own motion picture but most importantly drown every single one of your feelings in old stolen rum, learn to love the taste of it dripping down your throat find comfort in the warmth coming from your stomach, you’re drinking bottled love now you don’t need other people to drive away your loneliness you just needed to find a way to talk to it.

Any turnover song will do the trick too. Also Doused by Diiv, and Adversity by beach fossils are my favorite of all time. Idk i listen to so much music and i’m leaving so many things out.

last movie that made you cry?

Not a new or original one but Eternal Sunshine will do it every time without fail.

last book that made you laugh? 

Idk books are weird for me. More of a non fiction kind of guy so maybe less humor is involved? Idk maybe my photo history text book?

pessimist or optimist? or pragmatist?  

Pragmatist 5sure.

if you could dye your hair any color, what color would you choose?  

My hair was pink before i cut it all off but yeah that was cool maybe blue? Idk ill have to grow it back out before i consider dying it again.

what’s the last song you listened to?  

How does it feel- Citizen, Absolute banger.

favorite book genre?   

Photo essays are my gd jam. I really just like pictures rather than word but pictures and words are sick.

one new hobby/skill you’d like to learn someday?  

Making clothes. I’ve always wanted to design clothes but haven’t really gotten around to it.

quote you like?  

“I think the world is horrible, but I’ve realized there’s light in the darkness,”- Nan Goldin

what kind of super power would you want to have?  

Time travel would be so fricken cool yo.

what fictional world would you most like to visit?   

Japan lol. But probably wherever Princess Mononoke is.

least favorite food(s)?   

Guac. Fight me. Also peanut butter. 

pencil or pen?   

Pen

early bird or night owl (or neither)?    

Both, I hardly sleep. I love the stillness of both but still love the hustle and bustle of being in such a populated area. I like being awake. Sleep is unproductive and frankly boring since i dont really dream.

absolute dream job? (it doesn’t have to be a real job)  

Just being an artist. Whether its photos, music, or whatever; I just want to be creative. 

So yeah thats some of me for you all. Ask me questions and stuff about this stuff if it peaks your interest. If you follow me and see this you should definitely do this bc i really don’t remember who i follow on here. 

[shinwoosmile]

11 QUESTIONS TAG

Rules: Always repost the rules Answer 11 random questions posted for you Create 11 new ones Tag 11 people

Tagged by @soooldout, thank you! this was fun :)

1. A song you like to listen to when sad (kpop or not)

It depends what I like at the moment but right now is: I am here by Jung Jun Ill and Miss You by Standing Egg. And most of the Goblin OST, is heart breaking tbh.

2. A song you like to listen to when happy (kpop or not)

Pretty much every song from B1A4!! Dancing in the Rain by B.A.P, Wings by Daesung... anything that makes me want to stand up and dance and sing (which, believe me, doesn’t happen often)

3. What would you buy if you had one day to spend unlimited amounts of money?

Buy a lot of properties around the world and a plane. So after that day I could rent the properties and make a living of that and fly around on my plane :)

4. What is a food you think you can eat forever or for a long time without getting sick of it?

Sushi, of course!

5. How do you motivate yourself to do unpleasant things?

I don’t actually, lol, I just don’t do them. I’ve skipped classes that involved doing oral presentations just because I can’t do them. And if it is something that I just HAVE to do it (something at work for example) I’ll just wait until last moment. I know, I should confront difficult things and grow up and bla bla but... idk, just can’t. 

6. Your current fave < 10 min video

160922 여주국제대학가요제 - B1A4 Solo Day - CNU ver. (of course it’s a shinwoo fan cam, in fact, a lot of my fave videos have shinwoo in them lmao)

7. How much do you like kids on a scale of ‘give them tranquilizers to wanna babysit everyday of my life’?

Give them tranquilizers and “no, I don’t want to see your kids picture or video, thank you”. I don’t really care about them, they are not cute, sorry.

8. If you wake up in the middle of the night do you check social media on your phone or just try to go back to sleep?

I don’t wake up in the middle of the night, like ever. I’m a really heavy sleeper, and if I ever wake up I just go back to sleep in an instant!

9. Do you like to read and if so, do you have a favorite book?

Yes, I love to read! “Cuentos de amor, de locura y de muerte” by Horacio Quiroga and “The Martian Chronicles” by Ray Bradbury. And anything and everything by Stephen King and Haruki Murakami.

10. How and when did you get into kpop?

Like, almost ten years ago? I was bored one day at mangafox forums and I saw that someone had as a signature a picture of probably the most gorgeous man I had laid eyes upon. I though he was an actor so I googled him, he was no actor, but a singer in a boy band. I clicked on a video, and truth be told Ifelt a bit weirded out at first (they were in fucking animal costumbes being al cute) buy I kept going, and I’m happy that I did. If you’re wondering what’s the mv is “Balloons” by no other than DB5K, and the gorgeous man was Jaejoong. It still makes me fucking emotional to hear that song.

11. Favorite girl group song (or more than one I’m just looking for some recommendations lol)

The only two girl groups I listen to are Sunny Hill (Pray and Midnight Circus are both my favorites) and Davichi (I love all of their songs really, so here is a good compilation, try “Even though I hate you, I love you” and “8282″). Though these days I can’t stop listening Cheer Up by Twice. 

My questions!!

1. Little things that make you happy?

2. What was your dream job when you were little?

3. Choose a superpower! Now, what would you do with it?

4. Describe me your ideal weekend

5. If I could grant you a wish, what would you want?

6. Do you have a best friend?

7. Do you believe in love?

8. What makes you angry?

9. A song that speaks to you on a personal level? (You know, that song you say, it was made for me)

10. What’s your favourite season? Why?

11. Recommend me something! It can be anything really. A book, a song, a movie, an artist... whatever you like.

And I’ll tag: @shinwhoohoo @cybercnu @choi-min-no @bangsehuhn @ohnoko @zico-mino-trash (not 11 but oh well, if you don’t want to do it, please don’t feel any pressure really!! :) )

[firewoodfigs]

*clears throat* not to be a sap but. I woke up this morning was so so overwhelmed by how kind everyone was towards the song I posted for royai week 🥺 It was the first song I’d ever written in full and properly recorded, so it really meant so much to me (did I tear up? No...)

Music has always been an instrumental (pun intended) part of my life. It was how I coped (along with reading) with my parents’ failing marriage, and it was also something that I’ve always felt terribly insecure about. I wanted so desperately to go for piano lessons when I was young — and I would beg my parents to sign me up for piano or whatever music classes each year on my birthday.

Each time, the answer was no. It was either a waste of time or a waste of money, and they didn’t have much of both to spare, so I accepted it soon enough and just... moved on. I tried to pick up music by listening to songs, over and over, and I was so freaking excited when I first laid hands on the Fearless album as a twelve (?) year old. The music was beautiful, the lyrics masterful, and everything about it was magical. I think it inspired me to pick up guitar from a few church friends, who were offering to teach back then. It also inspired me to try my hand at songwriting, but whatever I wrote was honestly and objectively a mess, and I have no idea where it all went haha.

Fast forward to middle school; it was compulsory for everyone to pick an extra-curricular, and I remember I wanted to join the school choir so badly. I signed up for auditions, showed up, got asked to sing scales, freaked out, and promptly ran away LMAO. Needless to say I didn’t get in hahaha (I have terrible stage fright even to this day and the mere thought of someone scrutinising me while singing scares me like nothing else). I ended up joining guitar ensemble, which wasn’t altogether bad, because I did have fun and did make some lovely friends who I’m still in touch with even to this day. It wasn’t exactly my first choice though, and it wasn’t always a carnival, either. Most of the time we were just playing the same songs over and over and/or preparing for this biannual competition.

Long story short, I felt like I didn’t learn much. But it was cool, because I somehow ended up befriending a few folks from the school choir who were in my class (or we just vibed lmao). They basically adopted me and three (later four) of us formed a band of sorts. I genuinely felt like the weakest link LOL but they were so sweet about it, and I had the time of my life just singing with them. :’)

Anyway, moving on. I really wanted to study music and/or literature in college. I always dreamed of studying literature in the States as a kid, dreamed of studying great American novels and poetry and more. But I was a broke ass bitch with (i) no money and (ii) no confidence LOL. And so I simply didn’t apply to any overseas universities. I just made do with my options here, but it was clear that everyone in my family was pretty much against me doing music/literature because they thought I’d end up jobless and penniless. Very lovely. So I thought law was a decent compromise — I did have a penchant for riling people up, after all, and it seemed like a good way to pursue my love for language.

I made it out of law school four years later (it’s an undergrad programme here). It was simultaneously some of the best and worst years of my life LOL like the academic rigour is no joke and my imposter syndrome was flaring up every other day like a chronic illness because everyone was just... astonishingly smart. But as the song goes, I got by with (in my case it was a lot) of help from my friends. :) I still don’t regret going to law school because I genuinely learnt so much (even though tbh there were times I really wanted to drop out especially on year one because it was rough balancing a law degree with like a bunch of side jobs lmao). The professors were amazing, as were the people. It’s true that there are some self-centred, overly competitive jerks around, but I think that’s applicable pretty much everywhere. My friends are angels, though, and they’ve saved my ass countless of times (as did the love of my life LMAO but my tsundere ass forbids me from fangirling behind his back so I will simply self project on fictional characters instead).

But legal practice is a completely separate matter. Like, this job is bananas, man. A friend’s sister once worked for three days in a row without coming home, and the attrition is rate generally atrocious — people usually leave within three years because the hours are so bad lol. I haven’t had it too bad yet tbh, save for a few times I had to stay in the office till 3am (there was once I had to return at 7 the next morning, but my boss was at least kind enough to give me half a day off because we were literally all zombies).

But sometimes I just... idk. Idk if I have the tenacity to soldier through those hours tbh. I have a passion for the law, but I definitely am not passionate about sitting my ass down in a lumpy chair to review contracts and read boring legalese for 72 hours straight. 🥲 it’s not too bad here — I really do quite like my firm, and everyone’s been really nice and reasonable so far, but I’m starting a new role in September. And with an increased pay means added responsibilities, and... I guess a small (see: antonyms) part of me is always afraid that I eventually won’t have the time to pursue my other passions e.g writing and music 😔 it was exactly what happened in law school and now that I’ve rekindled my love for these things I hope I won’t lose it again. I’ll just do my best to make time and pray that the hours won’t be too bad :’) some rough months are inevitable e.g April when it’s the close of a financial quarter, but January and May were super manageable, at least. It’s also heartening to know that the partners here have separate lives and interests outside of work e.g one of them regularly hosts a book club every weekend.

ANYWAY 🌽 , not that I have a large following or anything, but I am just so, so deeply grateful to anyone who’s given my works a chance and/or left a nice comment in the tags or ask box or ao3 inbox. I know I’m absolutely terrible when it comes to responding, but it’s nothing personal!! I just take super long to process and internalise and accept compliments LOL and I’m also just an awful texter in general (it doesn’t help that I have so many work emails to deal with too...). This fandom is really of so many lovely and wonderful and talented people and I just. I love y’all so so so much 😭 and I hope I can be equally supportive of y’all too!!! 💖

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 6 Confessionals

I mean I didn't make the idol play. But um #LUKEDIDTHAT. Love he did that. But Lexi self voting??? Ruining Luke's plan of getting someone out? ICONIC!! Poor Lexi is prob going to go home lol. But I'm happy the idol I found did something but sad that its now gone and a new one? might be able to be found for those  4 remaining.

One more fake swap / fake merge and I'm going to vote myself off this island.

So iconically, Luke idolled, which i'm happy about. I'm NOT happy about Ryan being voted out considering I was kind of wanting to play a game with him. It also doesn't make sense considering... he's tried in every challenge, and has helped out the tribe greatly imo, but then again - we don't know the social dynamics and tribe outlook on their tribe. Carson told me he found an idol, and i'm superbly excited. Will he use it on me? Likely not. But it's still good to know we have it in OUR possession, and i'm not planning on leaking a word. The fact that he told me is satisfying though, and I do truly feel as if he's my #1 in the game right now. The challenge? Pass. It's something... logic puzzles are... awful (yet a little fun at times, sure). The cup thing... whomst... and the counting? I'm fairly triggered. I'm going to likely sit out because i'm busy today and I just couldn't care or want to do ANY of that. also why is there no SWAP!

Last tribal was fun with my idol play but Lexi made it less iconic with the self vote but that was completely understandable since she has a lot going on personally and I hope she's okay <3 It worked well in the sense that Jordan and Jay can still convince Lexi that they just had to do what they had to do with the tie and they saved her over Ryan. I compleTELY FUCKED UP THE COUNTING PART OF THE CHALLENGE WHICH I WAS ALREADY EH ABOUT DOING SINCE IT'S THE WORST BUT EUUURGH I MESSED UP. I'm hoping that we can win but if we don't then I hope I can trust Jay and Jordan enough to keep our 3 alliance strong and just vote our Lexi unanimously providing she doesn't have an idol or anything like that. I'll make an update after results...

Can you believe we win again? If we merge, it's gonna be 7-3. What a time to be alive!!! 

WHEWWWW i searched Mancos for the idol bc of my idol clue i got and i fucking found the idol and wow... i decided to tell Zach because I definitiely wanna nurture a relationship with him (love him so much) and we're a dynamic duo for sure!! i only talk to hi9m though and i def gotta fix that. playing this game AND another game at once is just a bit much but im still doing my best.

OKAY IM SCREAMING HOW DID I EVEN GET ANOTHER REWARD?? Idk how many rewards there have been in total bc I forgot but I've gotten 3 and didn't do 1 bc it was too risky but like what the heck how is this even happening?? I'm shook 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5g0x_0uPJo

WE WON IMMUNITY YESSS!!! going into the final 10 7-3 is definitiely amazing and im assuming luke goes on the other tribe. im fine with that bc it seems like everyone on my tribe is close to luke, so theyll be closer to me if hes gone!! im definitiely enjoying this tribe but like.. where does everyone stand?? who knows. we havent gone to a tribal since eric combusted and i dont know where i stand. i trust zach and i kinda trust bryce even if we dont talk strategy but idk where everyone else stands. katie truists me i think, but idk if i talk to her enough for it to be a FULL trust between us?? shes probably the one i trust the most after the other 2. charlotte is... whew?? she hates zach im pretty sure so like... idk about that personally. shes a good player and also like... idk i just dont talk to her as much as the other returnees. willow is cool and shes super nice but we NEVER talk strategy and also she like gave tons of info to eric allegedly then voted him out so idk if i can trust that rlly but like  thats a bit hypocritical bc i kinda used him too. i need to try talking more strategy with her. and chris... we talk and they're pleasant conversations but like willow, i dont talk strategy enough with him. plus hes a good game player from what ive seen in this game?? i know hes busy so i just gotta start getting a bit more out of him. my social game has def been slipping and if i dont get it up, im looking at a merge boot status bc tbh? i think im a pretty big threat. ideally, jordan pines is merge boot, then we can use lexi/jay to possibly get out some of our tribe, maybe charlotte?? on second thought i could use jordan for that too but like.. i dont trust jordan lmao. IDEALLY, id like a boot order of... f10: jordan f9: charlotte f8: lexi f7: willow f6: chris f5: jay f4: bryce f3: katie/zach, depends on who i think i can win easier against?? then ideally a final 2 of me winning. but survivor is always changing, so nothing is for sure. thats just how id LIKE it to happen, but nothing is gonna happen exactly so ill just pray!!

We lost immunity...again...shocker! Jay approached me earlier to potentially blindside Jordan and get him out since he's a huge threat at the upcoming merge but ultimately decided that using his connection with Katie and his reputation as a meat shield would be to our advantage since we're both winners and that is enough to get people to target us. It feels weird working this closely with Jay. If we merge next then plan to get Katie using Jordan, Carson using Jay and Zach using myself and then add Charlotte into the group and we should have a strong group. I also want to find out who gave me the immunity idol so I can first of all thank them, second of all ask them why and third if all work with them. I just hope I'm not being screwed by Jay the same way he was trying to screw Pines. 

Confessional #1 this round: Fuck ulta, i hate this tribe, i want to leave, ryan palmer let me go home

I accidently self voted last round and it tied between me and ryan because luke used an idol. so they voted ry out and i cried alittle. thats about all. 

Confessional #2- Rip Lexi, this is wrong, how the fuck are we gonna be at 3 players, after this wtf they have an entire tribe waiting to fight us

Im so happy we won again to be able to go into a merge with 7-3 majority maybe and a 4 person group into the 10 person game! Things are going well

Wish I can find the idol and hope luke doesnt go out either here

bye lexi! honestly like... idk. all newbies on their tribe are gone, it's so funny. im anticipating merge! or a swap.. or something. its 7v3 for crying out loud! im not sure what my move is going forward, but i think im confident. just kidding, i'm likely leaving. this is a bs conf but i may make one tomorrow hehe

haha I beat Jay

wow can't believe I'm this seasons challenge beast

We're really that tribe that's completely decimating everything.

I've been out all day and I see that they voted out Lexi. Every tribal that Jordan pines makes it through makes me even more nervous about getting to a merge with him around. We didn't have a good history in our last game but I'm hoping that there are more people around with bad blood with him so I can kinda just get by without getting any shots fired at me. I just want to go into a merge already. None of this potential "tribe swap" to make things even for one more round. I usually get fucked in a swap and I'd rather not have history repeat itself.

Over the course of the past week or so, i've been attempting to mend things with Charlotte. She's the only person that I feel like would be dead set on getting rid of me, so to weaken that desire would be sufficient. I also want to work on Katie and Chris a bit more so that the newbies (since i'm already decent with Willow, I believe) would be more loyal to me. I need opportunities! As for the pending upcoming merge or swap, i'm not ready. I would hope the 7 Ulta stay together for a BIT or something, like vote out Jordan. I'm semi-close with Jay and Luke, so would I want to vote them out right away? Well, in the wise words of Jay - absolutely not. But I would if I had to. I'd be more lenient with voting Jay since i'm now developing a friendship with Luke (because of another ORG) and I really like him, he's a cool kid. Him and I have NEVER worked together in past ORGs so if we manage to survive and make it on a tribe together, it'll be something refreshing. Carson's still my favourite though. He's a social god and it's scary. The kid has school from like 7-3pm and still finds more time to message me somehow or someway. It's... wildt. I trust him to an extent and him and I both have agreed that like we'll go far but obviously we are bale to betray one another if essential to our own game. I likely won't make it that far though RIP. I told him i'd be his lapdog, despite the tag of the season o.O Bryce. I didn't mention him yet. He's cool, him and I rarely talk but I think he's overall a great person. I'd like to talk to him more but our last conversation felt dull and I can't force a convo (not his fault, communication is indeed a two way street.) Nonetheless, it's something I may have to work on for my game. Also lowkey it's so funny because two tribals ago, you provoked the question regarding returnees and newbies, and here are some facts: - Ryan asked you to stop shoving it down his throat. He got voted out consequently. Iconic, right? - All newbies on their side are eliminated - All the boots in the game in general are newbies (with the exception of my Bahamas representative Willa...RIP good soul. The good die young!) So basically a returnee will win this game. It might be slightly worrying to Katie/Willow/Chris and they may want to extend and form bonds with OG Copa so that they have backup, because obviously there's a trend with voting out the newbies. Anyway, this is my third confessional this round... more than expected hehe hope you enjoy! P.S look at this rude ass message: On 2017-09-14, at 6:36 PM, carson wrote: > Use the Golden Rope to hang urself please HSDGNISDGNDS It was so funny I choked bye now

I seriously thought I was being screwed this round because I didn't think Jay would flip on Lexi but he did and I'm still here! 5 votes against me and I'm still here which is great!! There are only 3 of us left on Copa and we're an alliance so if we don't swap/merge and lose immunity then....it's going to suck. I think maybe I'd be in the middle? But equally Jordan and Jay have known each other a lot longer than they've known me so they might see me as disposable and get rid of me which I hope isn't the case. I really wanna merge and go work with Zach, Charlotte and Carson who I know and think I could work well with. Also Bryce, a newbie from last season, someone who I'd be interested in hooking up with in this game and working with!

So I got another advantage which is lit, I guess all these advantages are making up for kvaloya, anyway who knows how I'm gonna be able to explain the randomized vote?

Okay so like I just realized I'm in another game with Eric. And I kinda led the charge to get him voted out so I'm trying to win immunity otherwise he is totally killing me so sorry this is a terrible confessional but I'm STRESSING. 

If we don't merge I'm so incredibly fucked