#idk what to say about this one... empty ass caption

[horsemeatluvr23]

docm77 !!!!

[just-some-random-blogger]

AHHHH

Can I request a Matt smith x reader where in real life theyre married and in the show theyre hot sibling lovers 🥵🥵 anyways 👀 theyre doing a bunch of press junkets, interviews, games, etc. and its sooo fluffy☺️ and domestic☺️ and I just want to envision my life with Matt smith 😭

+ some star points if an interviewer asks about their 😏 scenes and they get really embarrassed but cute 🥰🥰😫😫😫☺️

I Can't Help It

Matt Smith x (ME PLS I WANTHIM) Actress!Reader

Summary: The tumblr girlies were absolutely wrecked when they found out their resident girlboss was dating their superwholock tumblr boy.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: Crackfic, i use y/n im sorry im not that strong, head empty only matt, a bunch of made up stuff because plot!, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: NAH ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I WAS WHEN I SAW THIS I WAS LIKE I GOTTA ZOOM THROUGH ALL MY REQS FOR THIS IASFHASFAS. i swear my anons and i share the same brain fr we all just want the same loser dont we PLSSSSSS [foams in the mouth] Also, idk if you've ever read any of my chris evans fics, but what you want me to do for matt is what i did for him & IM ABOUT TO HAVE A FIELD DAY IM ON CRACK HELLO ALSO ALSO, i get you probably meant they're targaryen sibling/lovers, cause otherwise ALFHKAFA MISS ME W THAT BS, but i decided on doing something different all together so lolol i hope you like it nonnie <3 idk what you feel about matt smith but im still going to tag you anyway holla Tagging: @pinksirensong what do you feel about matt smith HAHAHAHAAHHA

It all started with this tweet that was prompted during a brief interaction at a movie premiere:

@fannygurl007: yeah but matt smith and y/n interacted for 20 seconds and i want them to get married and have babies [clip attached]

being liked by Matt's mom.

Then all hell broke lose.

And hell hath no mercy.

It lead with intense investigations of:

@ihave100problems retweeted: AWFHASL:FHAH WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY WHISPER TO EACH OTHER?!?!? 👹👹👹 @thedoctorswife retweeted: IN FRONT OF MY SINGLE ASS?? THEY FLIRTED IN FRONT OF *MY* SINGLE ASS??? JAIL @mattsmithbithc retweeted: "Oh, I think you look so pretty ------- yeah, that's great -----" HELP WHAT ELSE DID SHE SAY @mattsmithbithc replied: I THINK SHE SAID SMTH ABOUT HIS SUIT BUT IDK WHAT SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP @tennantsmith1 retweeted: you really can't trust men look at the way he's looking at her. i bet it was love at first sight for him. was anything between us even real </3 @mmmyehs retweeted: what's that? my matt smith and y/n cutouts gon sleep outside? I HOPE YOU KEEP EACH OTHER WARM IN HELL @y/nloml666 retweeted: NAH NAH NAH BUT MY BISEXUAL ASS WANTS TO BE IN BETWEEN THAT SANDWHICH @datass00 replied: me watching that vid like [image attached below]

Then these things popped up on youtube:

proof matt smith and y/n have been dating all along 🤡🤡

Clip #1

I stick my hand in a jar and pull out a folded piece of paper. "Who's my celebrity crush," I read out the question, turning back to the camera, "I have long list," I refold the paper as I push it beneath my seat, "and the unfortunate king of that, currently, is Matt Smith."

*cut to a bunch of 🤡🤡🤡 and really loud background music*

One of the staff asks, off camera, "why unfortunate?"

"Well," I chuckle, crossing my arms, "if you know me, then you know when I like something so, so much, I end up hating it." I straighten up, "yeah, Matt Smith may or may not have been subjected to verbal abuse as of late."

I chuckle as I hear a few of the staff wheeze.

I raise a hand and cut through the air, "affectionately, affectionately."

Clip #2

There is an abrupt cut to a sound of a crowd cheering.

Matt leans in, scrunching his face as he brings the mic close to his lips, "sorry, love, what was that?"

*The clip is replayed twice and captioned [IM SORRY THE WAY HE SAID THAT WAS JUST SO HOT I HAD TO REPEAT IT]*

The crowd is gracious enough to quiet down, keeping their fangirling internal.

"Is there an actor or actress that you have not yet worked with but always wanted to?" the lucky fan asks her question again.

Matt hums, leaning back on his sofa chair, repeating the words for good measure. He pulls the mic away as he thinks, then brings it back, "you know what, I have been lucky enough to work with some amazing people," he starts, "but-"

The crowd cheers.

Matt smiles and releases a chuckle, waving the mic around, "but," he carefully says, "I have recently watched Vampire in the Locker for the first time."

The crowd cheers again.

"Yeah, and thought y/n was absolutely fabulous in it."

Someone in the crowd says loudly, "same!"

The crowd, along with Matt, laughs. He straightens up and points, "that person gets it!"

But what it really took was this Instagram post to destroy the internet:

@imthebesty/n: ok but you cant get mad a me, i was there during superwholock. at least one of us won!! ps, he's a horrible cook, i promise you don't want him. i took one for the team 😇

That paired with headlines like:

Y/N confirms relationship with Matt Smith on Instagram with hilarious caption

Matt Smith cooks horribly, according to girlfriend, Y/N, who confirmed rumors with Instagram post

"I took one for the team," Y/N says in Instagram post, referring to dating Matt Smith

Tumblr but all stayed sane:

winchester-pie: Are you normal, or are you losing your mind overthinking one of the superwholock girlies is secretly y/n 369,278 notes dont-talk3me: When I gaslight people, it's bad, when y/n gaslights people, it's taking one for the team? 16,586 notes uowbish: I'm gonna say it: I DONT CARE THAT YOU'RE DATING MATT SMITH YOU SHOULD BE DATING ME [image attatched] 99,345 notes sh3l0ck3D: thinking about how y/n once said that she wrote fanfiction that was popular online. i should have known it was superwholock, she unhinged as fuck. 836,084 y/nb00tyluv: OK but i genuinely think y/n and matt smith talked for 5 minutes then decided to date after that 74,670 notes prettyeyebrows: ok but tell me y/n doesn't look like the type to make memes like this [image attached below] 424,245 notes

The cherry on top was when Vogue magazine graced the world with this brilliant interview:

I introduce myself and turn to my side, smiling at the man next to me.

"I'm Matt, and today we-"

"Smith."

Matt turns to me, words going dry.

"You're Matt Smith," I correct, blinking at him.

Matt looks at me for a good moment then raises a hand between our faces, turning back to the camera, "and today, we're going to be-" he cuts himself off with a laugh when he hears me laughing.

He drops his hand and gives me a look before continuing, "we're going to be answering some questions for-"

Matt points to me so that I finish his sentence.

"Vogue magazine!" I say, making the man beside me clap his hands.

The most played part of that interview is this scene:

Matt is reading from a card, "if you could have something of the other's, what would it be?" He chucks the card away, turning to me just as I turn to him.

I mutter under my breath as I think, "something of the other's?"

Matt furrows pouts his lips out in thought.

A beat of silence passes.

We then simultaneously trail off as we both whisper, "like a baby."

I wheeze and lean into Matt, dying of laughter. He snorts and beams like a boy on Christmas, dropping his jaw low.

"No," I warn as I raise a finger through my chuckles, "behave."

Matt throws an arm around me as he lets out more deep laughs.

"The fact we both keep answering the same thing means me hang out too much."

He scoffs. "Clearly not enough though," Matt notes, making me glare at him and shake him off. He withdraws his arm, face still awfully pleased.

I give him a look, "your mother has been ingraining that ideation in your head too religiously."

"I mean," he grabs my hand. He looks at me for 3 whole seconds before sighing and saying, "you would make a great mother."

I purse my lips and sighing as well. I lean into him a bit as I softly admit, "and I think you would make a great father."

For a moment, the two of us look at each other.

I pull my hand away from him, moving to grab another card.

Here are a few of the most liked comments on that video:

Jason Stone: I have absolutely no idea who either of these people are and only watched this video because it autoplayed. Do I want them to get married and have babies though? Yes. Yes I do. 88.9k likes kpopinmybloodstream: matt the entire video:😍🥰😘 y/n the entire video: 😍🥰😘 me the entire video: 😍🥰😘 but single as fock 🤡🤡🤡 103k likes sowrr88: if i cant have what they have, i dont want it 94k likes

[not-alien-girl-v]

Internet Hcs About the Evans

i don’t know. read it

warning: like everything language mentions of porn idk dont read it if ur gonna be like ew stop being lewd

Tate: Knows the fnaf lore. Specifically watched Markiplier play it and also a Sally Face fan like hardcore and kins both Sal and Larry equally. Has a Tumblr acc but it’s only to interact w fanart of fnaf and sally face and like idk follow other fan accs he’s one of those empty accs with some random ass username no posts no bio no prof pic just his name in lowercase. has a deviantart?? again doesn’t post just to look at fanart he’s really into fanart and almost gets into reading fanfiction about his various interests but ultimately decides against it cuz i feel like violet would clown on him for it if she ever found out

Kit: Has an insta but it’s private with like 27 followers and it’s all like just his family and friends and sometimes when his friends post he’ll comment something like ‘Looking good bud 👍’ and then disappears from the internet for another month or two until he gets a notif that his wife posted or something. too scared to go on twitter and i don’t blame him. for the most part he just doesn’t understand how the internet works and has no intentions of finding out so he leaves it alone. he also has a facebook but same rules apply with the instagram only ever goes on to hype up his wife and kids and sometimes friends

Kyle: frat boy sorry cuz i don’t imagine frankenkyle can fathom the internet anyway i feel like kyle gets into debates online like way too much and he sees nothing wrong w the fact that he’s like actively searching out bigots to give a piece of his mind to. he’s got a tiktok and only follows like racist sexist ppl so his feed is full or opportunities to curse someone out digitally. he’s also got a twitter thats almost been banned a lot. he’s completely anonymous w it tho and his insta is completely regular he’s got like maybe 900-1000 followers just of like his friends and frat guys from his own or other frats and a bunch of girls who asked for his insta cuz they thought he was cute even though he never replies to flirty dms. he WOULD have several white boy went fishing posts and you guys can’t argue w me on this ok i wrote too much for him. he definitely has a lot of girls commenting every time he posts and i think his brothers would give him a lot of shit for not ‘jumping on that shit’ but he’s all like ‘oh i’m old fashioned u know i’m not like that’ has an active snapchat that he adds stories to all the time but once again never responds to messages

Jimmy: he has an account on instagram, twitter, probably facebook but they’re all mostly like linked to the freak show ykwim like he’d have like a verified checkmark but he only ever posts like freak show related announcements or like every now and then a little video that he records of him and some other ppl in the show behind the scenes and it’s captioned like ‘come see us (enter date here)’ and that’s pretty much it he’s not super big on being active in social media because he claims he has plenty of friends irl he doesn’t need fake robot friends. also may not know how the internet works

James: i mean sally runs the hotels official instagram page and all other socials and he probably has no idea that she’s doing that until he finds out she posted some image of video of him on one of the accounts and then some guests recognize him at the hotel and say like ‘omg ur that guy!!’ and he has no idea what it all means n shit. I think he would get a great kick out of instagram reels like non tiktok but you know how like a month after a trend happens on tiktok then it goes to reels? right like he eats that shit up he thinks its the funniest goddamn thing like funny cat videos or someshit

Kai: right so like we all know he trolls reddit and 4chan and posts rude reviews on thatcow. the kinda guy that kyle finds himself internet battling like this is the enemy he's been preparing for. he has a tiktok to stay relevant and he's just a comment section lurker 'user17896379' type shit he just likes various biggoted comments and occasionally replies just to start fights and shit. he's got a facebook and insta where he's totally normal tho like 'hey guys vote me for senate!!' again similar to kyle but like opposite ends of the same spectrum. i would love to view his search history. searches the most despicable things on p0rn websites every time he yanks it and i just am desperate to know what shit he's looking at

[threecrowsinatrenchcoat]

Paint My Spirit Gold

Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow

Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.

AO3 Link: [here]

Word Count: 2187

Warnings: n/a

@dukeceitweek <3

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]

- 

A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence. 

“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.

“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”

Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.

“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”

Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.

The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.

“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”

-

[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]

- 

“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”

The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick

“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”

Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos. 

“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.” 

And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him. 

“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”

Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment. 

He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table.  He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop. 

'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock. 

-

[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]

-

Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really. 

He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in. 

“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”

He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”

Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?

“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:

“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit. 

Starstruck96: who?

IneffableSnek: lmao

FeralBeauYasha: lol

VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill. 

FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?

IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf

FeralBeauYasha: ohh

VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom. 

StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch

IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean

IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s 

FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too

VampSuga: DUKECEIT”  /end ID]

-

"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin. 

"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."

Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”

Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left. 

“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”

Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.

“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.

“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”

-

[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]

-

DukeceitStan

first and only dukeceit shipper ig

DukeceitStan

wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!

DukeceitStan

i want this to be canon so bad omg

DukeceitStan

i mean just look

[image]

how 

[image]

cute

[image]

[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.

The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left. 

The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand. 

The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]

- 

“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”

“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”

“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”

“You should try harder.”

“Come to bed and maybe I will.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”

“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”

“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID] 

[trashinaglass-archive]

Trust

Tom is sick of fans talking about what they don’t know

Request: Hi! I’m interested to see on what you’ll make of this idea! His fans keep calling YN a gold digger so he decides to put a hidden camera to tell her that he’s no longer acting to prove to his “fans” they’re wrong about her. YN is super support and says she’ll do her best to support them both if he wants to take a break from working in general, to “regroup.” He uploads it with a caption to stop calling YN ugly and false things. Or something like that! 🙈

A/n: Sooooo not gonna lie, I did get a little confused about this? But I’ll try my best.

Also, I want to try to make this an AU type deal? Like Tom as a YouTube guy? Like ThatcherJoe style? Idk hope it doesn’t come out stupid😂😂

My Girlfriend Does My ASOS Shop

Tom uploaded the video and read the comments as they came in. Although many of them were funny or cute, some of them really upset him.

“Did Y/n really say she bought something just because she wanted it for herself? Sounds fake to me”

“She’s such a gold digger, and she can’t even hide it”

“You haven’t dumped her greedy ass yet? Damn”

“Look at that Cartier bracelet on her wrist. BET she begged Tom for it”

“If you ever want a girlfriend that sees you for more than your money, hit me up”

Tom felt anger start to rise. You made a comment about how you bought a pair of sunglasses “for Tom” because you really liked them and wanted them for yourself. Why was that so bad?

He hated seeing so many people accuse you of being a gold digger. If only they saw how you would argue with him over who pays for dinner. Or when you told him he should take the Cartier bracelet back because it was so expensive and you felt bad that he spent that much on a gift for you. Or when you literally fought him because he swapped your card for his when you went shopping one time.

You definitely weren’t with him for his money, and he wanted to prove that to his viewers.

Tom came up with a plan to set up a “prank” video that would show who you really are. He wanted to set up a bunch of cameras around the house and pretend the house was broken into. He text you that he wanted to go to dinner after you got off work- while the two of you were eating, Tuwaine was going to come in and hide all of your expensive stuff and trash the house a little.

While you were sat eating and talking to Tom, you watched as he pulled his phone out.

“Who’s that?” You asked curiously.

“Tuwaine. He’s just reminding me about some plans we have tomorrow,” he told you, placing his phone back in his pocket. The real message?

“All clear” letting him know that Tuwaine had done his part and was parked a bit down the road.

You finished eating dinner and headed back home. Tom beat you by a millisecond, stepping out of the cars at the same time. You walked over to the door, where Tom unlocked it and opened it to see your living room looked horrible.

Paintings and pictures were lying on the floor, your rug was thrown across the room, chairs were overturned- you were shocked.

“What the fuck?” Tom said angrily. You began silently walking around the house.

“Where’s Tessa?” You asked quietly, finally finding your voice. You watched Tom walk upstairs, you checking the rest of the downstairs area before following him where you immediately walked into your bedroom.

“Babe, your jewelry. All of it- it’s gone,” Tom said as he picked up your jewelry box, showing you the empty innards.

“I don’t give a shit, I want to know where Tessa is,” you told him, continuing to look for the dog. You noticed the guest bathroom door was closed and immediately moved to open it. You saw Tessa lying on the ground in front of the shower. “Tessa,” you sighed in relief. She shot up and moved to greet you, you bending down to hug her.

You walked back into the bedroom where you found Tom in the closet, seeing what was taken and what wasn’t. You sat on the bed as you watched him, Tessa laying down next to you.

“Anything that was valuable is gone. All of your jewlry, my watches, the TVs,” Tom began to tell you, his hands going behind his head. “Who the fuck does this kind of shit?”

“Tom, it’s fine,” you said, trying to stay calm.

“It’s not fine, y/n! We were fucking robbed,” he yelled.

“Robbed of nothing important,” you told him. “Tom, those things can be replaced. Tessa is okay, we’re both okay, and I care about that way more than some necklace. Just call the cops, make a report, and let’s move on.”

“How am I suppose to be mad when you’re so optimistic?” He asked moving to where you sat. He grabbed your hands, pulling you to your feet and hugged you. “You’re right- both of my girls are safe, but I’m about to be killed because this was just a prank,” he admitted.

“What the fuck,” you exclaimed, pushing him away from you as he pointed out the hidden cameras. “Why would you do this?”

“I wanted to know how you’d react- I honestly wasn’t expecting you to be this calm. And I love how concerned you were about Tessa,” he said, pulling you into a hug again.

“I was so scared. Someone coming into my house and taking stuff is one thing, but don’t touch my fucking dog,” you began to spill. “How did you even do this? Where is everything?”

“I gave Tuwaine a key. He came in and trashed everything and put all the stuff in his car while we were eating. He’s just down the road,” Tom explained to you as he called his friend telling him to come back. It wasn’t long before you saw the man walking through your bedroom door.

You immediately moved to smack him jokingly before he laughed and hugged you.

“You aren’t suppose to let him do crap like this to me,” you pouted.

“I’m sorry, it was such a good idea. I had too!”

You rolled your eyes, keeping a smile from surfacing. You had to admit it was a pretty good prank. At the end of the day, you were just happy that everyone, including Tessa, was safe and sound.

Tom uploaded the video to his channel a week later.

Our House Was Robbed Prank

Tom looked at the comments this time, seeing what they would say about you.

“Where all y’all y/n haters? Nothing to say now that there’s proof she cares more about the dog than her jewelry and money?”

“Get you a girl that looks for your dogs safety before checking her jewelry box”

“Y/n snapped”

“Y/n is the last person you’d ever see gold digging. She’s so genuine, y’all just jealous she getting that dick and y’all aren’t”

Tom smiled seeing the positive comments about you. All the haters calling you a gold digger practically vanished after the video was uploaded, and he had never been more happy with himself about a video than he was now.

[sunsetscurving]

Oh, Cruel Fate (Enemies to Lovers AU)

Ch. 8

ao3 link

The Demaurys and the Lallemants had been enemies for over one hundred years. And when Lucas first meets Eliott, he hates him with his whole heart even without knowing him, blaming him and his family for his life which is slowly falling apart. But when they are forced to live alongside in the same surrounding, something is changing between them. And this scares Lucas more than anything else.

Lucas was sure that he never had such a bad hangover in his entire fucking life.

He groaned as he opened his eyes, the sun seeming to trigger an explosion in his head with its brightness.

Lucas needed some moments to recall what happened yesterday night. But when he tried to sit up and a sharp pain went through his body, the memories of it all came back.

The party, the dark alley, his attackers, Eliott.

Eliott.

Lucas’ head fell back on the pillow and he laid an arm over his eyes, shutting the sun out for a moment. Eliott went after him, Eliott took care of him, Eliott played with him piano. Eliott stared into Lucas’ soul with his piercing gaze.

Eliott, Eliott, Eliott…

“Gosh, what the fuck is wrong with you”, said Lucas quietly to himself.

Eliott was supposed to be his enemy, he should hate him and not… think about the color of his eyes or his messy hair where he would gladly drive his hands through and –

Stop.

Lucas slapped himself in the face, trying to chase away all the thoughts about the other boy in this way. Since when was Eliott his first thought after waking up?

Since he saved your life, putain.

Right.

Eliott protected him, even breaking the nose of one of his attackers without even being asked to do so it. He cared about him. There are not many people in his life who seemed to genuinely care about Lucas and his well-being and this was the first time in forever where someone looked after him. And he felt a kind of warmth inside of him only when thinking about it. Lucas was an asshole to Eliott from the beginning and he was sorry about it. But he apologized and that’s it for now. They could go on with their lives, with their separate lives.

Lucas took his phone from the nightstand, having a lot of new messages from Yann and the other boys. He choose to ignore these for now, his fingers automatically moving to Instagram, opening the app.

The first post on his feed was from Eliott.

Lucas raised his eyebrows and looked at the ceiling of his room.

“Is this some kind of joke or what?” He spoke into the silence of his empty house, addressing no one and everyone to the same time.

Lucas looked down on his phone again, adjusting the brightness so his head wouldn’t explode from staring at Eliotts new post.

It was a drawing. Nothing new, Eliott posted his drawings often, showing off his artistic talent. But this drawing was different. It showed two people from behind, sitting close to each other on a little stool. In front of them, a piano. Both of them looked down at the keys of the instrument, filling the air with music.

Lucas stopped to breath for a second, a smile creeping onto his lips.

No one could see the faces of the two people but Lucas just knew who this was.

And Eliott knew that Lucas would see it.

He posted it because he wanted Lucas to see it.

Lucas scrolled down, his heart beating rapidly in his chest and his eyes widened again when he read the caption of the photo.

Qui n’avance pas, recule

“Who does not move forward, recedes.”

For random people, the caption had nothing to do with the drawing Eliott posted. But to Lucas, it meant everything. Eliott told him that his life can still be changed, that his life and his happiness are not lost. And that they could change their fate together, moving forward to better times. If Lucas was brave enough.

Lucas kept staring at the caption but his thoughts traveled to his mum. To his mum who told him that Eliott and Lucas are the last hope for the peace of their families. Not only Eliott told him to be brave and go against everything he has known till now, but his mum did too.

Suddenly, the phone in his hand vibrated, announcing a new message.

Lucas’ heart kept beating like crazy when he opened the message section of Instagram, clicking on his newest chat.

The first thing he saw when he opened the chat between him and Eliott, were the absolutely embarrassing messages he sent yesterday. He groaned and rubbed his hand over his face. He really called him pretty, talented boy.

It was even more of a wonder that Eliott came after all these messages. If Lucas would’ve been in his place, he would’ve laugh his ass off, sending the messages to his friends to mock Eliott with it.

But Eliott was also different in this case.

Lucas scrolled down to the newest message, trying to fight the feeling of embarrassment rising inside him.

srodulv: how do you feel?

lucallement: like the worst I’ve ever been.

srodulv: you saw my post?

lucallement: how could I NOT see it?

srodulv: do you like it?

Lucas took a deep breath. Of course, he liked it. The thought that Eliott was apparently also thinking about him did something with Lucas. And the drawing was beautiful, as was the meaning behind it and the moment where exactly this happened.

He just had to be brave. He just had to stop denying that something… happened between them. One word and Lucas’ life would change.

But he was afraid. Afraid of what his parents would say, about what Eliotts parents would say, about what the world would say.

He was never been brave before and it wouldn’t start just now.

lucallement: idk what this drawing is about but it’s okay

srodulv: you are kidding me

lucallement: no

Lucas looked the screen, watched Eliott reading the message, watched him typing. And then he made a decision. He closed the chat between the two of them, went to Eliotts account.

And blocked him.

Lucas locked his phone and threw it across his bed to his feet, out of his reach so he wouldn’t undo his action. His head fell back on the pillow again, wincing as he did so and he stared into the void. He knew that Eliott would see that he blocked him.

But it was better this way.

He had to push Eliott away from him, saving himself and his reputation from Eliott Demaury.

Saving himself from the feelings inside of him whenever thinking about the other boy.

But he couldn’t run away forever.

.

Days passed.

Lucas didn’t tell his friends about the night after the party. They asked about his bruises, about the pain which seemed to be present in the first days, but Lucas always found excuses. He tried to go on with his life, tried to forget what happened.

But his life changed.

It changed in that night when Eliott took care of him and they played piano together, looking into the other ones eyes.

Whenever Lucas saw Eliott in school, he tried to escape him. He always saw a smile blooming on Eliotts face whenever he spotted Lucas. And whenever Lucas turned around on his heel, taking another way, literally running away, the smile on Eliotts face disappeared and left a void inside of Lucas.

A week passed after Lucas’ exaggerated night. He was standing in front of the mirror on a Friday morning, examining his face and the bruises which finally seemed to fade away. The pain coming from his rips also slowly decreased, he was going back to his usual self. But his usual self didn’t think about his enemy all the time.

He was still examining his face when he suddenly heard the front door, a loud bang echoing through the empty house. Lucas frowned and walked out of the bathroom only to halt in his movement, a nearly shocked expression on his face.

“You”, hissed Lucas and his eyes darkened.

“Lucas.”

Lucas felt hatred rise inside of him as he saw his father, Jack Lallemant, standing in the hallway of their house. There was a time where he looked up to his father, seeing him as some kind of idol. But this time was long gone, as so many other times were long gone.

“What do you want here?”, asked Lucas and took some steps closer to him. The door behind him was still open and when he suddenly heard more voices, his heart started to race.

This is not going to end well.

Behind his father, his two older Brothers Louis and Jules, were entering his house and Lucas felt some kind of panic rise inside of him.

“Hey, little brother”, said Louis, the oldest one and flashed him a smile. Oh, how Lucas hated all of them. His brothers always bullied him whenever they had the chance to do so. They humiliated him and showed him nothing but cruelty. And they stood with their father as… things went down. Alone for that, Lucas hated them. For supporting an abusive man.

“What is all of this about?”, asked Lucas carefully, already eyeing the door and how fast he could get out all of this. He felt the tension in the air and it was completely different than the tension between him and Eliott.

There he is again in my thoughts.

“Aren’t we allowed to visit our little brother?” Jules was coming forward and as many steps as he took into Lucas’ direction, the same amount of steps took Lucas backwards.

“Not after abandoning me and this family”, said Lucas dryly and looked at Jules.

“Come on boys, stop this.”

His father was now stepping forward, stopping when he was in front of Lucas. Lucas was tired of backing down so he held his ground and looked up to his father.

“This is still my house and I can come home whenever I want.”

“This is not your home anymore.”

“Says who?”

Lucas held his gaze and watched him, not answering the rhetorical question.

“What. Do. You. Want. Here?” Lucas was speaking slowly, as if talking to a little child.

His father was spreading his arms innocently as if inventing Lucas for a hug. Lucas stood still, not moving a millimeter.

“I just want to talk with you.”

“We want to talk with you”, interfered Louis and gave Lucas another one of those creepy smiles which woke the sudden instinct to flee in Lucas.

“Don’t you want to sit down?”, asked his father, already moving into the direction of the living room. Lucas couldn’t stand this man being in this house, memories of certain nights crushing over him. Lucas crossed his arms, leaning his body against the wall.

“I’m good standing. And since you three are going to leave soon, I don’t see any reason to sit down with you.”

They were silent for a moment, all of them and then his father sighed and his mask fell. Now Lucas saw the cruel and brutal person he really was, his mouth curling into that impression that Lucas hated with his entire being.

“Fine. I tried to be polite but if you want it that way, then we’re doing it that way.”

And as his father nodded into the direction of Lucas’ brothers, they were darting forward. And before Lucas could do anything else, he was being pressed against the wall behind it, the sheer force of it knocking out the air of his lungs.

“What are you doing with that Demaury brat?”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, answered Lucas breathless, his brothers holding him into place with their strong bodies. Louis was smiling his maniac smile the whole time and Lucas had the feeling to get sick.

“I know that he was here. In our house. Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” His father came nearer and Lucas struggled against the grip of his brothers. But he couldn’t move a tiny bit.

“Even talking with him is a betray to our family. You are disgrace to your name and to our family.”

Lucas knew how his father thought of him but to hear it was something else. Something inside him went lose, the anger and the hatred he used to feel for the Demaurys coming to the surface of his being again.

“I hate him as much as you do! He stalked me!” Lucas suddenly blurted out, his voice muffled by his breathlessness.

Fuck the shut up, Lucas.

“What?”

“He stalked me and he went after me and…”

“This is it. Enough is enough.”, interrupted him his father, a shocked expression on his face and something like… madness in his eyes.

“This is the point where we have to do something”, said Jules and let go of Lucas suddenly. Lucas dropped to the floor, breathless, staring at the carpet in front of him while trying to breath properly again.

What have I done?

“They went too far with this”, agreed Louis and he heard the cracking of knuckles through the blur of it all.

“What… what are you…”

“Let’s go. We know where he currently is.”

“Hey, where are you going?” Lucas finally made it to drag himself him, rubbing the place on his neck where Louis pinned Lucas to the wall. The others didn’t seem to listen to, didn’t even to acknowledge him still being there on the floor. Lucas’ brothers and his father suddenly turned around and stormed out of the house, leaving as quickly as they came.

“Hey!”, Lucas screamed after them and ran down the front stairs of their houses, standing in the middle of the street. But they were already around the corner. Lucas felt dizzy and he closed his eyes to recall the conversation they had, everything seeming to blur together.

He stalked me.

Enough is enough.

We know where he currently is.

And then realization hit Lucas.

“Oh my fucking god”, he whispered breathless, his hands starting to shake. And then he took off, running as if his life depended on it.

Or the life of another one.

[rayadraws]

Hero FB adventures

This is the result of me, @jenny-opm, @shorthairsonic, @dibujos-de-la-orilla and @criscura talking about the concept of our boys (and their friends) using Facebook and what that might lead to... It led to a really fun discussion, so I’ve collected it as points here for anyone curious. It’s about 2.6k long so I’ll put it behind a Read More. Enjoy XD

Dr. Kuseno, being a technical genius, takes to Facebook like a duck to water, having no trouble navigating the site. However, he still acts like a stereotypical grandpa on there - when Genos posts a status along the lines of “Rainy day, perfect for a movie” Kuseno comments with “Indeed my boy, try not to catch a cold and send Saitama my regards. Kuseno.” He occasionally also teases Genos, such as sending him a photo of an electric whisk with the caption “your next upgrade is ready.” (In a misplaced attempt at being kind he tags Saitama in all ads for hair growth treatment he comes across… but at least he also tags him when he finds an unusually good sale)

It is actually thanks for a birthday post from Kuseno that Saitama learns when Genos’ birthday is the first time! He catches the borg sitting and smiling while looking a his phone, which is unusual - usually if he’s on the phone it's something from the HA, which normally has him frowning.

Neither Saitama nor Genos have a lot of friends on FB (to start with, at least). It’s mostly their closest friends such as King and Mumen. Genos also has Metal Bat added, who gives him (good natured) crap on near everything he posts.

Bang is the hopelessly confused Facebook grandpa, struggling to understand how it works. Poor Charanko does his best to help him… “How do I search here?” “You have to go to the search bar… No, that’s where you write your status” “My what?”

Once he does get the hang of it, Bang comments every time someone posts about themselves doing any sort of sporty activity with “Looking good! Ever think about coming by the dojo?” (It gets to the point that FB warns him for posting the same thing over and over and everyone is starting to suspect that his account has been hacked by a virus that just keeps promoting his dojo - poor Charanko is accused of setting it up)

Metal Bat SPAMS FB with videos of Zenko’s piano shows. Everyone knows about her recitals a week in advance because he keeps hyping it up. He also has a soft spot for posting glamour selfies.

Saitama posts a lot of blurry cat photos with no caption and sometimes food pictures. He posts at all kinds of random hours of the day, almost never answers anyone, his photos are low quality and he posts a lot of odd YouTube links.

Genos likes every photo of Saitama and uploads his own - somehow, Saitama always looks far less derpy in Genos’ photos (he’s studied all his best angles).

Genos has no shame and starts liking all photos of Saitama, going through every tag ever - meaning once in a while someone who went to high school with Saitama suddenly gets a like from Demon Cyborg on a photo taken 12 years ago. Unsurprisingly, people are SHOCKED at this and it takes them a while to figure out why - until they notice how he keeps tagging Saitama on his page. This is the only kind of interaction they get online with Demon Cyborg and people start tagging Saitama in photos in the hope of getting response from him. They slyly get photos of him in public and post and tag him in the hope of a response. As long as he’s awake (he’s a heavy sleeper) Genos likes them instantly, unknowingly rewarding his fans for their behaviour.

Genos never accepts friend requests from any non-heroes but Saitama sometimes does because “maybe that name’s familiar idk whatever” and some of Genos’ fangirls manage to befriend him on Facebook, consequently seeing his photos… causing them to just about spontaneously combust - “Did you SEE that photo of Demon Cyborg in an apron?!”

Genos notices this and tells Saitama that he is NOT to post his 124 bedhead pics of Genos to Facebook. Saitama forgets(?) and posts 53 of them anyway before he remembers he wasn’t supposed to. He tries to cheer Genos up - “But look at how many likes and shares they’re getting! This doesn’t even happen with the cat pictures!” Genos is not impressed to see his groggy-ass self on a million message boards (and tells Saitama that “...to be fair, Sensei, sometimes it’s hard to tell if they’re cat pictures.”)

Saitama is enjoying this game (not quite realizing the scope of this all) - sneaks a pair of cat ears on Genos, takes a photo and uploads, enjoying the storm afterwards.

Facebook suggests that Saitama upload a photo album that is just the same photo of Genos doing the dishes at slightly different angles and he’s like “why not” and posts that as well. This is followed up by a little video of him singing quietly and dancing a little while washing the dishes.

One day they come across a group of Demon Cyborg fans on the street who come up to them and ask if Genos could sign their photo books - they’ve printed a bunch of pictures from their FBs, full of like bedhead and apron pics (“Mr. Demon Cyborg sir I LOVED that video of you dancing with the mop!”). Genos can’t even process what’s happening and signs them with a stunned expression, while Sai takes one of the books, looking through it and pointing out his favourites. “Hey, I remember this one! Aw, dude, where’s this shirt? You look nice in it, I haven’t seen it in a while.” (“Mr Demon Cyborg I didn’t know you had feet slippers!” - a small part of Genos dies)

Saitama starts getting bombarded with requests on Facebook. “Get him sleeping!” “Get him laughing!” “Can you get him to pose in that white shirt, maybe with the ripped jeans?”

Saitama starts uploading little videos, such as himself telling Genos a bunch of puns as they go through a store. Eventually he figures out how to cut videos into clips and bombards Genos for two days to get “material”. It does get a bit overwhelming in the end however, so he tells the fans that he can’t take more pictures because his phone ran out of memory. To his despair, this leads to fans sending them shipments of memory cards, cameras and gift cards for even more stuff and it’s all very unnecessary. He even receives a brand new phone from “a fan”.

(The good side is, with all this training he is getting progressively better at taking pictures)

One day, the daily picture he uploads is very sad - just an empty chair with the caption “He’s at repairs” :(

Another day however, Saitama goes to upload a photo of Genos in his apron, but it’s… the wrong apron picture. He accidentally uploads a naughty pic, oops. It’s not the most obviously naughty one, not enough to get them banned from FB (and Genos has no nipples, anyway…) but it’s pretty obviously not meant for the public.

Genos is at first (rightfully) mad at Saitama… until they get like a million really nice apron lingerie sets in the mail. To get back at the other, he uploads a photo of a bare-chested Saitama - not at all prepared for the onslaught of “HOLY SHIT” responses, growing possessive instead of mad when the fans start screaming for more.

Saitama tries to take a good shot of himself but eventually Genos, even through being annoyed, takes the camera from him and gets a good picture. Fans ask for even more and a bewildered Saitama replies with “Um, sure?” uploading a half-naked bathroom selfie, where he’s still wet with a towel wrapped around himself. People go wild. (Genos can’t decide if he wants to delete the picture or share it so it’s on his wall as well. He is… conflicted.) (A less successful picture shows Saitama absolutely ripped, but unfortunately with a prominent double chin, like that time he played video games at the HA - selfies are hard…) (“Mr Saitama, can I request the ripped jeans again, but this time with you wearing them..?”

Unfortunately their shenanigans do not go unnoticed at they get called in to HA’s Public Relations for the umpteenth time. Their attempts at getting the heroes to take it down a few notches is made more difficult by them referring to Amai’s latest “I’m about to have sex” album cover as proof they aren’t out of line.

Amai Mask, in his defence, maintains that his pictures are “classy” and “done professionally”. Saitama responds with gesturing to a photo of Naked Apron Genos frying eggs - “This is classy!”. They continue with pointing out that more than likely, if they stopped, people would complain to the HA and they’d have to explain it was the HA who stopped them in the first place... (And really, the HA shouldn’t complain, Saitama and Genos are earning them so many donations….) "THEY CURED MY CANCER AND WATERED MY CROPS AND BLESSED MY CAT HERE'S MONEY" - “They did what now?!” - the HA representatives don’t even understand what this means but eventually lets it all slide. (The only one who understands the references is their intern managing the official HA twitter, but no one cares about their opinion…)

With all this material, Genos’ fan club is getting a lot more activity than Amai Mask’s, which doesn’t go unnoticed. Amai tries to upload “accidental photos” too in an attempt to become the centre of attention, but they are all obviously fake, such as “I woke up like this” pictures of him with perfect hair and makeup, nothing like Demon Cyborg’s messy hair and squinting eyes.

Amai tries again - “Oh no guys you won't believe this but, i was doing my make up right and omg my cat walked on top of my phone and took this photo of me lol” - someone digs up an old interview where Amai states that he’s allergic to cats (that someone is Genos). He also uploads a photo of a cup from Starbucks which has “To the prettiest guy I’ll see today” written on it and claims he got it (until someone points out that’s a photo from Google).

Meanwhile on Saitama’s FB page, a new video of an unaware Genos twitching in his sleep has just been uploaded, caption “look he’s dreaming shhh”

Saitama just happens to be awake late that evening and passes the time surfing FB, commenting “y’all never go to bed huh” when he sees the immediate responses - given how big Genos’ fanclub is, there’s always someone who’s awake. In fact, this video is more than likely to wake a number of fans up to scream over it. Saitama makes a little livestream showing off their cups as he brews himself some tea (“this is my cup. That one’s Genos’. We found it in a thrift store after he accidentally dropped the last one.” He finishes with showing Genos sleeping again and saying “see he’s sleeping now you all go to bed too”.

One day he posts a still picture of the sleeping borg, with the caption being just “I love him”.

It takes a while, but once the fans understand that their love is real and not changing, some of them start to (not always so) subtly suggest he should propose, such as tagging Saitama whenever a jewellery store has a good offer (they’ve picked up on his love for sales).

One day everything is quiet, then Saitama posts simply “He said yes” (or perhaps it’s just a picture of their hands wearing the rings) and FB EXPLODES. People ask for photos and Saitama replies with “All I got is him ugly crying oil everywhere” and the fans go “POST IT.”

After they’ve gotten engaged things get a bit more quiet, with Saitama just posting the occasional update like “he’s going to marry me” and “he’s going to be my husband”. “I want the date to be on his birthday but that’s too long of a wait” ,“he loves me”.

Fast-forward a bit. It’s been quiet for a while. Genos has barely posted anything but one day Saitama’s FB friends see that he’s been tagged in a picture that turns out to be a photo where Saitama appears to be passed out on the futon, drooling in his sleep and surrounded by empty pizza cartons. Caption “my husband to be”. (The picture completely blows up on FB)

Fans start speculating on their outfits, causing Saitama to sweat - he hadn’t planned that far ahead. He asks for suggestions and they end up covering the entire colour spectrum. He even enquires a little bit to hear if there’s anyone who’s a real actual wedding planner among their fans, it might work out…

In the end, they decide on a small private wedding, but Saitama does suggest he might be able to livestream it. He gives no date or anything to go by, however. In an attempt to keep it hidden, they end up hosting it at the dojo, hoping the stairs might also deter some potential invaders. (Bang is more than happy to host - maybe he can convince some people to join the dojo. The stairs aren’t a problem for the heroes, mostly - King does text Saitama with “I’m here can you pick me up” once he arrives at the bottom whereas Mumen handles them himself - but makes sure to arrive very early so he’ll have time for a shower before the ceremony. Saitama suddenly starts the livestream out of the blue on FB, writing “k its happenin!” and a bunch of fans tune in. (Hopefully Bang won’t hear about the livestream or he’ll start advertising on it, too…)

They get married!!

(Back to where we started - how does Kuseno react to all this FB shenanigans? Well, more than likely he doesn’t spend too much time on FB, but he does check periodically, probably catching at least a couple of the pictures of Genos sleeping and in his apron and whatnot. As always, he replies good naturedly - “glad you’re getting your rest son”.

Kuseno also has a habit of going full-on Geek and writing very long explanations regarding Genos’ body sometimes - such as explaining why he twitches in his sleep, or an explanation on how his cooling systems work in response to someone writing “WAAAHHH WHY IS HE SO COOOL” on one picture. Unfortunately, Kuseno doesn’t realize that his FB is set to friends only, so only Saitama and Genos see these comments…)

Bonus: Saitama occasionally tags Genos in pictures he takes of cheap bootleg Demon Cyborg merch he comes across, disappointing fans hoping to see a new photo of him, only to be met by his asymmetrical poorly painted face on an action figure. “It’s not even official merch…”

Saitama has a habit of buying the especially poorly made ones because “they’re funny”.

One fan asks one day if Demon Cyborg owns any merch and Sai uploads a photo of all the stuff he keeps in the apartment with the caption “And even more stuff at his docs”.

The fans are stunned - but some are also like “ok but where do I get these things?!”

"says he special ordered them or w/e" "oh this other one was from HA" "oh... he says it's out of stock" "he has the stock" ”Maybe if you ask him real nice. Doubt he’ll let go tho he only has like 278 of them” ”...he informs me he has 289”

The fans try to barter with Genos, such as offering to draw a NEW Caped Baldy posted in return for one of those charms. At this point Saitama is starting to wonder why he has to be the bridge between fans wanting Caped Baldy merch and Genos. Genos doesn’t seem to want to talk directly to his fans, but eventually agrees to use Saitama’s account, basically pretending to be him - the fans do eventually get their merch, but are confused as to why Saitama suddenly seems to turn a lot more serious and formal whenever it comes to merch talk (and is that 10 page terms of service really necessary?!) but at least in the end they get a super rare piece of merch not available anywhere else (because Genos bought them all).

[winterbvrnes]

Flowers [B.Barnes]

request (x) by @tieddown-withbattleshipchains

summary: You begin to find sweet gifts and cute letters left around your apartment, but you don’t know who they’re from… until you catch him red-handed.

wc: 1668

note: idk how i feel abt this & its prob riddled with errors [ps. i’m looking for a betareader ;)] also check that↓ out

Aly’s 600 Follower Writing Challenge

tw: mentions of Hydra and other enemies, second-hand embarrassment(?), sneaking around (intrusion?), and some cute blushing Buck

They started showing up on June 5th. You don’t know why, or how (seriously, you were pretty sure you’d locked your door when you left that morning) but when you got over the creepy aspect, you began to look forward to the little gifts that would show up.

The first ‘gift’ that showed up scared you a bit. When you walked into your quarters after a tiring day of dealing with press and saw the little chocolate and note card you were positive it was one of three things.

1) Tony being an ass and playing some kind of prank,

2) Hydra (or some other enemy) had broken in and was taunting you, or

3) Nat was feeling sweet today and left you a gift.

Tony had been on a week long mission since Monday (it was only Wednesday), so he wouldn’t have bothered to set this up. The compound is pretty much the most secure building on this planet (other than Damage Control’s warehouse) so that rules out anyone getting in undetected, or bothering to only to leave a candy. There is no way Nat was feeling sweet enough today, not after the asskicking you gave her in training this morning. So, you’re stuck.

With no clue why the candy is there, you kick your door shut and venture over to read the note.

Good job with the press today, I’m sure you did amazing. You always are, and so sweet too; sweeter than this cherry chocolate. Enjoy the rest of your evening by relaxing and destressing, and don’t let those reporters get the best of ya.

The sweet little message is written in beautiful penmanship, and signed with an adorable little smiley-face drawn by a heart. Your lips quirk up as warmth spreads through you at the kind and charming words. But, while they’re sweet, you can’t help but be a little put-off by the thought of someone coming into your room while you were away and leaving this intimate note and a candy (to which you were compared, which shows attention) without saying who they are. Your brows furrow as you place the note back down on the end-table, leaving the chocolate next to it to be safe, before going about your night.

It was two weeks before you received another gift. This time it was a small bouquet of your favorite flowers, bundled up neatly and left on your nightstand next to another note card signed with the same smiley-face. Your brows furrow and you look around, already knowing that you won’t see anyone, but trying anyway. Coming up empty, as expected, you lift the flowers to your face and sniff, inhaling the delicate aroma. Once again feeling a little odd about finding such a romantic gift in your room, you place them on the kitchenette counter and wander into your bathroom to put away your mission gear and shower.

After cleaning up, you finally break and place the bouquet in a vase and fill it with water to display on your windowsill. You smile slightly when you step back to take in the sight. The colors of the petals nearly glow in the sunlight, and you can’t resist snapping a picture for instagram. You caption it and post, watching the hundreds of like immediately flood in (the Avengers are very popular on instagram).

After that, the gifts continue to pour in; from flowers to little stuffed animals to personal care packages, each one incredibly thoughtful and topped with a note card. Whether signed with only a smiley-face, or joined by a cute paragraph, you began to look forward to hearing from this person. Their kindness and charming way began to win you over, despite your initial feelings of being intruded upon.

When you told the girls, Nat had simply rolled her eyes and laughed while Wanda gushed. “You have a secret admirer! That is so cute! I wonder who it is!?” Pepper, having walked into the conversation, had snickered and shared a look with Nat. You’d brushed it off, thinking they were on a different topic, and listened as Wanda named names and considered the possibility of it being them.

That’s where you are now, sitting on the couch listening to Wanda (for the third time that week) update you on her list’s status. After you received your fifth gift (a gorgeous smelling bathbomb and set of little candle) Wanda had started writing down the traits of each team mate that could be a tell for who-dun-it. You sigh, gaze drifting from Wanda’s list over to where Steve and Bucky sit, talking. You tune Wanda out and get lost in a daydream of the handsome soldier, watching as his blue eyes crinkle when he laughs, the brown strands of his hair falling from the bun at the nape of his neck. You rest your chin on the palm of your hand, imagining loosening his hair from the tie and running your fingers through it, feeling the silky waves between your fingers before fisting your hand and tugg–

“Hey! Earth to [Y/N]!” Wanda snaps her fingers in your face, drawing you out of your head. You flush upon realizing that Bucky is looking at you amusedly and you snap upright, turning to glare at Wanda.

“What?” You hiss, embarrassed as you rub your cheeks in an attempt to make them less hot. Wanda snickers and flicks her hair off her shoulder.

“You were staring,” she says simply and you open your mouth to vehemently deny her implications when Steve cuts you off.

“Wanda,” he interrupts, sending you a knowing glance (the one that reeks of Captain America) and placing his massive hand on her shoulder, “Vision told me he was looking for you, something about a movie tonight?” Steve nudges Wanda, not very subtly, and she beams, nodding. “I’ll take you to him.” As Steve passes, he gives Bucky a firm pat on the shoulder and you grimace at being left alone with the assassin. Not because you don’t enjoy spending time with Bucky, but because you enjoy it too much.

You give Bucky an awkward smile, which he reciprocates, before hiking a thumb toward the elevator and saying, “I should probably go train.”

“Oh, yeah, of course, go ahead,” you stutter out, flushing as Bucky sends you a smile and leaves, ever so calm and collected: the complete opposite of you. As the doors close and Bucky sends you a wave with his metal arm, you realize you’d been staring again, and blush heavier, turning to bury your face in your hands when he disappears. “Oh, fuck me.”

After your awkward encounter with Bucky, you’d decided it was time for a night out with Nat. Since she and Clint had moved out of the compound together, you’d been slacking on your weekly Nat-Nights. Lucky for you, Clint had just left on a brief mission with Wanda, leaving you free to get drunk and watch terrible Rom-Coms with Natasha.

“I’m heading out, Steve!” You holler from your doorway, leaving without waiting for Steve’s reply. He’s busy watching the newest Game of Thrones episodes with Bucky and Sam, so it’s likely he didn’t really process your shout. You sling your duffel bag over your shoulder and head to the garage.

Bucky glances over his shoulder towards the elevator, watching the number get smaller as you leave, waiting for the best time to do his thing. When the display reads B1 Bucky throws himself over the back of the couch and he rushes to his room. Steve and Sam watch him speed off and share a knowing look, Sam scoffing and rolling his eyes as they return their attention to the GOT marathon.

With the proper supplies in hand, Bucky sneaks his way to your door and tests the knob. Finding it unlocked (as you’d taken to leaving it since the gifts started coming) he steps inside, closing the door behind himself carefully. He’s standing at the kitchenette counter, arranging the presents when the door creaks open. Bucky freezes, wide eyes darting up to see you standing there, mouth agape.

“U-uh, wha-ho-why-what?” You stutter out, duffel bag landing on the floor with a thud. Bucky puts his hands up defensively.

“I can explain,” he says, shuffling in place awkwardly.

You let out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re my secret admirer?” Never did you believe that James Buchanan Barnes could possibly be the one leaving you trinkets. The man you’ve had a crush on for months.

Bucky sighs. “I- Well, yeah.” He blushes a vibrant, the heat creeping up his neck. “I mean, I guess so? But, I mean, only if you like them, ‘cause if not then you’ve got the wrong guy. But- um, uh, yeah, I’ve been leaving you stuff… “ His face paints itself a deeper scarlet. “I’ve had a crush on you for a while and Steve said I should tell you, but Sam joked that I should leave you chocolate on your pillow like a hotel, and I thought it was stupid but then I got the idea to leave you presents, so Steve helped me ‘cause I’m not as good as I was back in the day, and I really like you–”

You cut him off by firmly pressing your lips against his, silencing any further rambling. His mouth is soft on yours and you smile, feeling heat on your cheeks. You pull back when you don’t feel Bucky respond. A frown settles itself on your face when you meet Bucky staring at you wide-eyed.

“I-I’m sorry, I thought…” You sigh in embarrassment and turn to leave, but Bucky’s hand grips your arm gently and pulls you back to him, allowing his hands to drift down your sides and settle on your hips.

His cocky grin is back, full blown when he says, “So, you like-like me?” You snort and flick his chest with an eyeroll at his words.

“Obviously, you doofus,” you whisper as his lips once again press against yours, feather soft.

Tag List for Bucky is Open

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@fly-f0rever @dont-speak-just-read @sammywinchetre @theulimatefangirll

[this-brownie]

04.22.20

I have been harboring a lot of pain and anger feelings for jen in the back of my head for the last 10 years. When I see her in person, I feel so good that I don’t have a need to bring it up, but those negative feelings, eventually, always return. I finally decided to let it all go and explain to her how I felt— the first part is the letter I read to her over the phone and the second part are my own thoughts and recollection after the phone call.

Part 1:

Maybe you have your issues with me because of that period in high school but it was never to push YOU away. I won’t diminish the fact it was detrimental to you regardless, but I didn’t intentionally prioritize myself at your cost. That happened to be the result of my stupidity and lack of communication. When you left for college, it was hard but you kind of repeatedly put yourself over me and our friendship, and it took a toll. We came back together once you found more balance in your school life and started depending on me more when you and worth broke up. I eventually moved back to New York and you had your off year; that was one of my favorite years. I like you because I have fun with you and because I like to hear you talk. I have often been angry when you couldn’t make it for me, even if it wasn’t your fault, and it constantly remained in the back of my head. But then when I see you it’s like those feelings wash away, and I’m like oh thisss is why I love hanging out with her. When you left, it made me really distant, which was better than fighting with you, but it hollowed me out. You had Mo, you had your life, you were busy. I wasn’t unhappy for you but you didn’t need me or make me feel needed. When I eventually moved on from Caitlin to Ivan, he brought on this intense joy and intimacy that I hadn’t experienced since hs. He made me feel so loved, and so crazy. It consumed me. With Levi, my other friends, and often you I feel grounded. Good positive feelings, nothing crazy. He fucking riled me up so much. Eventually it overwhelmed me but it felt amazing while it lasted. And I remember being so angry with you because why couldn’t you just let me be happy? You were hurt that I left you and it frustrated me that I should consider your feelings once again over mine. Talking to you normally made me feel empty. You were so fucking busy, and I was so busy that i didn’t feel connected when we spoke. But with Ivan, I always felt so good. I always craved that. Why couldn’t you let me have that? Because it came at your expense?

We call each other best friends and the reason I say I don’t need you there for me everyday is because you haven’t always been there for me. The person I talk to everyday now is Levi, and maybe that’s why in your own way you can’t fully trust me. I understand that- the feeling of giving your all to someone who won’t give it back. I wouldn’t want to ask you to irrationally be there for me but there are ways to make me special, which I feel I’ve done for you such as birthdays. My last birthday was one of my favorites because you actually made it. I was hesitant in telling you to even come because I didn’t want to let myself hope. I would rather sabotage myself than be let down.

The things that I perceive important are different than what you want/or are used to giving. Literally the first time ever I got hurt by you was when i walked you home after SPI and wanted to come over to your house but you said no. Obviously I understood the reason, but at that time I was SO taken aback because I had never experienced that. I thought we were friends because we had been eating together and hanging out all the time that I didn’t understand why wouldn’t just tell your parents you wanted a friend over even if you were scared.

There’s been times in the past when you made me feel like utter shit. I’ve gone to bat with my mom in the past about you. I remember in college you told me that you couldn’t tell your mom about me because I wasn’t in school and “what’s there to really say”. you were afraid to stand up to your parents even tho I’m your best friend. I under at and it’s your personality and your life but it was painful. There was a point that, I don’t even think you were angry, but you said something like I was bad influence on you. And you said it off handed, not accusatory— you said that at the end of the day, it was still your actions— but that was hurtful. The reason I get pissed and jealous is because sometimes it feels like you do stuff for others that you don’t do for me. Like when Sarah came over to your place. Or that time we went to Brooklyn shuffle with mo and Naomi and you posted a picture of just you and her. I mentioned it and you called me Nadiya which aggravated tf out of me and effectively made me want to shut up. I know it was mostly irrational and not a big deal, but I was annoyed that I planned the meetup Cuz of my bday but you honored her. It was tiny, but still hurt me and made me feel little. (Yes I know you posted a pic of us for my actually birthday but that’s not the point).

The bachelorette thing annoyed me a lot how it happened, at the time, but when I look back it was actually almost perfect. Nadiya was the one who fucked everything up. And also me, for picking a shitty restaurant. But what annoyed me after was that you didn’t talk to Nadiya. You explained that because you don’t care for her as a friend anymore, and didn’t want to bring it up but I felt like I wasn’t prioritized in that situation. Like I was full of anger and just had to let it go without any resolve.

I rmmbr a few months ago Levi was away for work and I was feeling extremely low, and I asked you something like ‘what do you do for me’ and you responded by saying that it was shitty of me to keep count. I was feeling hormonal from the implant but it makes me feel lonely when i think you can depend on me but I can’t depend on you. I don’t ask a lot of you, or at least I try my best to not bother you too much, which is why it feels good when you do things for me on your own. When you show me that you’ve thought of me. There was this meme I saw that said “affection hit different when you don’t gotta ask for it” that’s how I feel, maybe that’s just me being spoiled idk

The thing is I’m oblivious which is why I like it when you tell me “this is what I did for you” bc it keeps me in check. If I’m constantly reminded you love me, then I don’t have to doubt it or be stuck in my own head. I know you show your love in less obviating ways but they mean so much. When you’re patient with me, I appreciate that a lot. I don’t like when you spend money on me. I love quality time. I love when you make me feel important. I often don’t feel like that which is why I bitch at you lol. It might all be in my head, but how can I be sure? I’m the only one thinking about it 🤔

I am bringing up all the things not because they necessarily bother me anymore but I want to stop holding on to all of it. Feel free to yell at me about the shit I’ve done to you too, I know there’s been a lot. But I do love you, even if we just love each other differently. Even if you don’t post as many pics of me on your IG as I’d like, and I don’t like the pics you do post of me🤦🏽‍♀️ I cant help compare myself to your other friends. Why do they get better captions than me🙄 why do you cook for them and not me. Why do I always compare myself to them and feel like I’m on the losing end. I know this side of me is crazy which is why I like to keep it hidden. I know that you actually do love me (I think). But I feel I’m constantly thinking about how I personally can make you feel good. How to be reliable. How to be there for you. Like that weekend when you were upset about Aaron not responding and him possibly canceling the date. I knew you were in a shit mood so i wanted to do everything in my power to make you feel happy and wanted. To stock the house, and cool for you, and spend money on you, and call your friend and surprised you so that you can cheer up. I know you don’t care for grand gestures and you never ask this of me, but i like to do it and telling myself to *stop* doing it will make me feel dead inside. It’s unfair to put that standard on you and tbh I don’t want that, but I love feeling loved. Talk to me and validate me and make me feel like your present in my life.

I know this is all sounding one sided but you have done a LOT for me through out the years too. I think I’m less mean and crazy with you now than I used to be. You’ve exerted a lot of patience and leniency with me, especially though high school but also after college. Like when we travel and I used to go crazy planning, you bear with me. I remember I used to make you read my long ass college essays even though your probably didn’t fucking want to. You giving me meaningful gifts that you thought I would appreciate. You’ve tried your best to keep up with me— to give me my space when thats what I asked for, to be understanding when that’s what I needed, to put up with my childish, demanding, anal ways. Those qualities haven’t gone unnoticed by me.

I also know that you’ve grown up more and are more aware of my emotions. I know you’re not clingy to the point that you’ll be extremely upset if I’m busy. You take my feelings seriously, and when you point our flaws in me I also try to take them seriously and improve them. Ive come to terms with knowing there won’t be a lot of interactions with you, but at least they can be memorable when they do take place. But that has to be mutual. You’re depending on me more now because of the Eric situation which is fine but I’m hesitant to let myself be fully vulnerable. youll get back to your med school life, and eventually find a boyfriend and it’ll be back to being distant. It’s not ideal, but that’s life. You won’t really need me or pull at me. We’re adults so it manageable but it’s not such a pleasant feeling. I guess I am afraid of feeling used and then being left to tend to myself up until when you need me again

I won’t have any crazy expectations. I don’t want to burden you with all this, just want to communicate my feelings because sometimes it easier for me to clam up. I was thinking maybe I need to start asking you the questions that I would like for you to ask me. That way you can get an idea of the things that I like to talk about along with what we already discuss. I don’t want to keep repeating, to you, that maybe you’re not talking to me the way I would like. It makes you feel like there’s something wrong with how you’re communicating to me, rather than how I prefer things. And it’s always better to show, than tell.

Part 2:

I read my letter to her on the phone and she listened and agreed. I don’t know if I told you, maybe I mentioned it briefly, there was a period in hs after parker and I broke up, that I went mia for a week. Jen and I have been talking obsessively at that point so for me to just black out, and leave her in the dark like that took a huge toll on her. She realized that ‘I’m my own person, and I have a life without her’ so in college she tried to become more independent, to the point that she shut me out. I felt really betrayed because we had told ourselves we would still be super close and things wouldn’t change blah blah. But it felt like she knew they were going to change and she kept it to herself. Side note, although I was mia for that week, this was like first semester 12th grade— afterwards we were the “same” still continued to talk everyday, every moment like nothing changed. But her heart had changed and she never really let me knew how badly it impacted her. In college we were separated because she had to study 24/7 to get into med school and I was dealing with the horrors of my own life. In her spring semester of junior year, we had a huge fight where I told her that she’s always unavailable and hasn’t been a good friend. Things changed a little after that, we started talking more regularly but still sparse. I don’t have a lot of memories of us from that period, but I did hold a lot of pain. As college ended for her, she broke up with her toxic ex and started talking to me more. Not obsessively, but much more than we used to and in the manner a best friend would like calling me at 2am bc she’s sad and can’t sleep and staying on the phone with me all night even tho I had work the next day. I did that because I knew she was hurting, and I was in a better place, and I liked that she was depending on me again.

The next year was her off year and I moved back to nyc from Boston so we spent that entire year together and it was one of my favorites. We finally got to spend the time and do the things we wanted to do together since college. Went out to eat, explored new places, but it wasn’t perfect bc we couldn’t go clubbing since she was still scared of her parents. There were issues during this period tho, where she made me feel like shit- I couldn’t come over to her house bc I wasn’t in school therefore she had nothing good to say about me to her parents. It was hurtful. When she left for med school I had become clingy again and felt her absence deeply- instead of being bitter like I was in college I decide to outsource. I became close to Caitlin and we started doing all the crazy things Jen wasn’t able to do. Like staying out until 5am, doing coke, binge drinking. I was always angry at Jen in the back of my mind for not being there for me, but rationally knew that neither of us had a choice. After a year or so, my husband moved to SF, Caitlin started becoming crazy and super unreliable, and jen was busier than ever bc of school and *also* whenever she would come to visit nyc, her bf only made her hangout with him. We WOULD talk but it felt so casual that it drained me. I hated it, I felt so empty from it. I know some people would say that at least there was contact/effort there but it wasn’t enough for me. I was working and in school full time and it was hard bc I felt I couldn’t depend on anyone.

Eventually Ivan came into my life and it was a whirlwind. It consumed me, I was so fucking happy. Too happy— I started (unintentionally) talking to jen less and less bc I was so overwhelmed. She told me last night there were long stretches of me and her not talking, up to an entire month at one point. I honestly can’t even recall that. All I rmmbr is Ivan. She felt betrayed again and it triggered that similar pain from hs. Became emotionally distant, but then once she and Eric broke up, she propelled into my arms yet again and started depending on me emotionally. It sucked for me bc yeah I’m here for her but it felt she only reached out when she needed ME but I can’t reach her when I need her. Because I have to just be okay with the fact that there will be times when shes unavailable but it’s unacceptable if I’m too busy.

In my letter I basically told her I don’t feel cared for when we talk bc she’s not vulnerable with me which makes me feel not valued. As a friend, she’s great but as a bffl she’s not cutting it. I also said that she’s going to leave for residency and I don’t trust that we won’t be distant again, so I don’t want to fully invest myself. She told me my feelings are valid and that she’s been holding onto that pain from hs for a long time subconsciously and it’s affected her actions towards me. She essentially told me she doesn’t trust me bc she has a fear that I can leave at any moment and so won’t allow herself to be that vulnerable and clingy with me. I thought about that- and I agree it has been unfair to her. Just because I’m obsessive and crazy doesn’t mean I have the right to cut her off bc I feel like she’s not there enough. As an adult I have to understand that. To just drop off all communication like that, of course it’s going to have an effect. She agreed that we should have talked about the hs thing 10 fucking years ago instead of now. I think ultimately it would have been the same— I would have always felt bitterly jealous that she’s away busy doing stuff with other people. For me, there is no amount of talking or texting we could do that would replace an in person relationship. And sadly, there’s no way to sustain the relationship we had in hs. For her, it’s physically not possible and for me it’s not emotionally a good idea. Im very 0 to a 100 and that’s not how adults should be. She told me that it would probably be a good idea for me stay guarded and not extremely clingy as she goes off to her residency because we would be distant. I feel better talking to her and getting every thing off my chest esp bc I got to hear her side. I understand now why she acts the way she does, which makes me not harbor negative feelings for her.