#idk what tags to put I haven't used tumblr for anything other than aesthetic blogging in years lmao

[notallmight]

So I've been around the otherkin community since 2014 which was something that was extremely formative for my spiritual practice as a whole and I've on and off identified as fictionkin since I was 17/18 (I'm 21 now). I also consider myself to be a fairly serious occultist (if being a chaos magician qualifies one as a serious occultist lol). I primarily identity as All Might/Toshinori Yagi from My Hero Academia in terms of my fictionkinity (which is definitely a character you wouldn't expect for me if u knew me irl). But as stated before I've been really on the fence about fictionkin identity as a whole; so much so that it's definitely something about myself that I've brushed under the rug for the past few years. When I first came to identify as fictionkin I was in a really dark place; I was homeless (living in a shelter), a recent highschool dropout, and was all together very much down on my luck. Identifying as All Might is something that gave me the courage to persivere through that hardship and eventually the confidence to kickstart my music career; which actually came to be a major reason *for* hiding this identity in the first place. This time last year I was walking the path to becoming an underground famous musician, I had recently opened for a very popular electronic band, and my band was supposed to go on our first tour last summer. Everything about the notariaty I had obtained felt so right (on a spiritual level you could even say lmao) but at this point in my life I was basically completely denying the validity of my belief in fictionkin as a whole; mostly for reasons concerning the persona I had created for myself as an artist, but the logic I was using to justify that was that I was using it as a coping mechanism; and that my belief had been invalid because of that. But honestly looking back it was because I was afraid of being seen as "cringe", because well believing you're the reincarnation of a fictional anime super hero is pretty inherently absurd imo. Now as a chaos magician I'm no stranger to redicolously sounding spiritual beliefs (in fact the *completely unhinged* belief systems some chaos magicians hold has become somewhat of a meme in the occult community as a whole) but I guess my personal beef with the fictionkin community as a whole is that while identifying is all fine and good I guess, what does it really accomplish for the believer? The most important tenent of chaos magick (imo) is the concept of belief as a tool; and if I may posit this question to the reader: what has identifying this way taught you about yourself? And what are you gonna do with that knowledge? Well I know what I've learned recently from exploring this identity and what happened to me is as follows:

When covid hit I went through my own oddly synchronistic 'fall from grace' so to speak; the music scene was all but gone and I had absolutely no idea what to do with myself, which ended up resulting in me all but losing the deep connection I'd developed with spirit. So I guess it started with a ritual my friend did for me on the last full moon which was supposed to combat that weakening connection; coincidentally (or maybe not so) I was in the middle of getting caught up on the My Hero manga at the time. What happened because of that ritual was extremely unexpected; suddenly the 'kin memories' all came flooding back, overflowing my brainwaves to the point that it was kinda difficult to sleep. I spent like three nights lying awake in bed till 4am pondering the cyclical nature of the situation I'd found myself in. And well I could go over every single memory or synchronistic moment that happened but I don't wanna make this post anymore long-winded than it already is lol. So what I'm gonna say is that my major takeaway from the expierience is this: well first and foremost one of my most important core values as a person is helping other people, and because of that I got a lot of fulfilment from being a teacher (not just a Hero), and that fame isn't everything it's cracked up to be; specifically when you have to hide aspects of yourself to suit the public persona you've created. But another important takeaway from this for me is that fictionkin as a system of belief is valid and can even be an extremely powerful tool for spiritual self discovery in the right hands. What am I gonna do with this you may ask? Well I've reached out to a couple of local anarchist collectives about volunteering for their mutual aid efforts (mostly distrubing food, masks, and other donated goods to people in low income areas of Brooklyn) I've also decided to finally seriously pursue my certification to become a mental health peer support counselor. I've also realized that I should be making music for myself because it's what I love doing, not for the recognition and to be some sort of a 'symbol', because that concept is something that is no longer serves me in this lifetime (and it more or less led me to becoming a slave to my ego this time around) I've also decided it's time for me to become a spiritual teacher (which is something I've aspired for since I first started practicing magick) and to run workshops about magick, spirituality and the occult online as well as irl in the park (socially distanced obviously) and have decided to seriously start the planning process of writing a book on chaos witchcraft; which is an idea I'd been toying with for a little while but didn't really think about seriously till' now. Uhh thanks for coming to my TED talk I guess?

[huenjin]

2020 year end greetings.

disclaimer: this is going to be very long ( ˶ ❛ ꁞ ❛ ˶ ), but that's how much gratitude i have and so much more of love.

2020. ah, this year was a very emotional journey for me and how i wish i could sing jessi's gucci all throughout. however, that was not the case. tumblr helped me run away from all those irl miseries. these people made me feel at home.

this skz writing blog has been existing from the last few days of september and it came to life when i was losing motivation to write on my main (which i closed down because stray kids made me like writing back again) and it's stayed since then. you guys have stayed since then. grateful, a one hundred times and more.

so, this is rue, getting sappy and so much more thankful for everything i have and recieved with this blog. this is rue, asking you to accompany me for a little more and to listen to the stories i have to share. the is rue with heart full of nothing but love for each one of you.

to each one of my mutuals, for whom i pray to the stars to shower you with nothing but fortune —

@sinisterlyhan ♡ eiko, best thing i ever did was hit you up. how are you always so calm? or at least that's the tone i have in my head when i read your texts. it's so pleasant to talk to you. ily. and let me get started on your writing — you've heard this from me like every day but ma'am, you make magic. you lace stars together to form such a beautiful constellation of a writing and i fall in love a little more. thank you for inspiring me to always do better!

the hyunsung demon!au (whew!) — 01. 02. 03.

this hyunjin bad boy!au

@mochinnie ♡ isa, how i wish you handled yourself with a little more care. you're so fragile and delicate and i just want to protect you ?? so much ??? you're precious and one of the most beautiful people i have met. your characterisation is just perfect and god, i wish i could once write headcanons like you do. thank you for being my friend and for fangirling to me and for loving me. it means the world. psst, ily.

this seungmin fic

querencia | hh

@sparklemin ♡ nara!!!! big brain nara! god i love how your asks make my whole day and how you bring up different minho agendas in my head. you have my whole heart and i'm in love with you bye

girlfriend | bcn

hidden confession | bcn

@bearseungmin ♡ dawnie babie thank you for being such an enthusiast all the time while talking. you're so cheerful and happy and thank you for being this nice <33

beat it to the door | bcn

could listen to you read the dictionary | lfl

@chogiout ♡ yah, kira! sometimes i want to whack the back of your head like i whack my sister's, okay? it's the same kinda sibling love with you. fuck, not ever going to let you leave me. after all, my parents taught me to take responsibility of the stuff i rid innocence of. (lmao, sorry, bitch ily!!)

memoir | jyh

this youth of craziness | csn

@mikoto-ica-fics ♡ mi, bb! thank you for being so supportive. istg, if it weren't for you reblogging that one fic of mine, my fics would have never seen light to this day. it's easy to get lost in the tags hehe. and then i happen to text you and omg, aren't you the nicest ever? i love your story ideas, the way you write, the way you interact with people and thank you for talking to me. you make me want to be better.

entangled | lmh, hjs

power grab | hjs

@toffee-hwa ♡ ana! anaaaa~ you're so enthusiastic and supportive and fuck, i looooove ranting and fangirling to you! and the minute i know you're watching the same kdrama as i am, i just go like wheeeeeee— HAN SEOJUN!!! lmao, but thank you so much for talking to me, for listening and for caring! my romanian queen, you pretty human, you're the best!

yet, pt.i

yet, pt.ii

@chandisiacs ♡ yah, pav! must i drag you back to tumblr from twt? must i? i miss you. i really do and i can't wait to have your arse back here. thank you for being such a lively person to talk and hang out with, eee! and not at how you succeeded nano! inspirational! thank you x

thread of all your legendary aus

starboy | bcn

@unsaidhj ♡ you're so soft. and god i love you? and your aesthetics. it's a thing, ma'am. i existed to see your aesthetics lmao. and then i text you and you're so kind omg. i could never hate you so please, ma'am, stop telling me that in panic? huihui, ily and i hope you stay healthy. place yourself first, bb.

knife under my pillow | hhj

scammer, scammed | bcn

@sleepylixie ♡ yo, neighbor! you reminded me how small the world can actual get! love love talking to you about irl stuff because you can understand how messed up it is! and you're so kind, ah!!

in umbra

passion's abyss | lmh

@dreamyhan ♡ one of the few people i see on my dash and go like — hazeeeeeeeeel! you're just so nice, god. like if cotton candy was a person, it would be you, alright? and then there's your writing ability that skyrocket off the roofs because it is that good. thank you for being so supportive and nice to me! x

next time | bcn

in his arms | hjs

@itsapapisongo ♡ boy, my main man, javi!! your work was once my most favorite thing to listen to. loved how the mall worked and everything. and then there's how supportive you are like omg. if only i could explain the courage you give me. it's infinite. you make me feel infinite. also, #hardhours, right?

george of the jungle

swimming fool

@kabira ♡ typing the url down was even more romantic, manx. don't ever change this. love how strong and bold you are. love your opinions and love your writings even more. you're one of those few people who write like they mean every word from their heartstrings. thank you for providing us with stories to tell for eons. x (psst, ily so much!)

backstreet driving | hhj (that's the first skz fic i read because it was from you and not because it was skz and aren't i glad?)

sic semper tyrannis | lty

@dalknow ♡ the only other person on tumblr that i text religiously on discord. i love talking to you, bb. love getting personal with you. love how i can share absolutely anything. thank you for trusting me. thank you for listening to me. thank you for loving me. can't wait for you to put your stories back up on this acc. you're undefeatable and i know you'll have that known.

to each one of my anons, for whom i pray that you stay safe and healthy and most importantly, happy —

🧸 :: put you on the anon list because in my head you are that anon — my very first one and the one that lit up my whole world. it's kind of a very proud moment when someone wants to talk to you. you made me feel that. you made feel loved. and to see how well your blog is doing now, god, i feel like a proud mother.

🐠 :: my greek princess. the fact that i learnt more about breads from you than from my school makes me laugh hehe. you really did light up my world with every ask you sent me and had me unknowingly hope that you are happy in every minute. and now that i know who you are, i'm even more content because you're a mutual too now!

🍧 :: god, you have a special place in my heart, ice cream anon! maybe because you liked me more than my fic and followed me here even though you were an anon from my bts blog. fuck, if that didn't make my heart flutter, nothing ever will! (hush, your relationship is something i am still rooting for!!)

🦊 |🌹| 🥀 | 🛸 :: the way you guys keep checks if i'm staying hydrated and healthy. i am. and even when i wasn't, your asks made me go drink a cup of water ha! thank you for loving me x

tiktok anon :: ♡♡♡♡♡♡ yes idk what else to say to you but that i would give you a piece of my heart. your tiktok asks make my whole day. it's something i look forward too! thank you for always making my day!

and to my other anons, tagged or untagged :: thank you for sending me an ask. every single one, either telling me to stay happy or hydrated, or that my fic was great or that you're feeling extra horny that day (we've all been there!) i appreciate it and thank you for making me smile! x

to all the mutuals that i admire, look upto and wish we talked waaaay more, let's do it soon please! and to some mutuals that i just miss talking to! —

@nightshade-minho (ily! x nicest bean ever!!) :: @satanssmuts :: @lovebini :: @seraplantery :: @xiaojunssmile :: @chan-skz :: @chanluster :: @decembermoonskz :: @bangtantaegi (queen!!) :: @yunhozone (i miss you!!) :: @inkigayeo :: @vocalyunho

i hope each one of you stay happy, content and loved. my memory is pea sized and so i do pray that i haven't forgotten any! thank you for being my mutuals, for sharing laughter and talks with me for these months i've been here! i’m sorry if i missed anyone, but i seriously do appreciate everyone that i’ve ever talked to on here though! i hope to see you all next year and let's be happy together !!

with much love, x rue!