#idk what i mean i... i simply love them so much
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(A Breach of Trust)
[I am putting the rest of the ask under a ReadMore because it IS long [and now super-long with my responses added] but I am biting and chewing this ask I am biting everything it has to say I love this ask I have things to say]
But yes responding to this first chunk! First THANK YOU second I loved writing just the inherent comedy of each chapter being like "[Scene 1] Ritsu spitting blood: I have to save my brother. He's dying. [Scene 2] *Happy domestic montage of Mob petting a kitten and maybe drinking some hot chocolate*" It was a great way to keep some emotional balance in each chapter and also. Funny.
I was crawling the wallllls getting to the makeshift reveal. I think it was about 5 years between coming up with it and getting to the reveal. So I just had to bite my tongue and dodge any suspicion in Makeshift's direction leveraged in the ABoT discord (ABoT discord! BTW! If you want)
I ended up making this to channel the energy somewhere
[Rest of ask under the cut!]
i was nervous for a hot second early on (around when reigen first takes mob in) that it was gonna be the kind of story that would get frustrating because "oh if the characters literally just told each other anything it would all be fine" but i didn't end up feeling that way at all? like yeah a lot of the plot relies on characters not knowing things and technically a lot could have been solved if idk all the characters decided to meet up and sit in a circle to politely explain everything to each other but it never feels like that should happen. even besides them all generally having reasons for lying or not explaining things or not talking to each other it's like. all their decisions feel very natural even when they're bad or unreasonable, and also crucially when the characters do learn things or w/e it usually doesn't fix things (ie when reigen learns mob's real identity and tells mob the truth and it kind of fixes some problems but also adds a host of new ones). in general despite it being a story that hinges on all the characters making bad decisions it rarely gets aggravating bc all the choices they make are understandable and make sense for them -- it doesn't feel like anything is happening simply because the plot demands it. everything is constantly getting worse but that's because the characters are making it worse it's not just Happening. and then the characters have to confront and deal with the consequences of all their actions and learn from them and it's very satisfying
YEAH!!! YEAH YOU GET IT!!!!!!
It is VERY important to me that the story in ABoT is character-driven. There should virtually be no "it happened because the plot demanded it." If it happened, it happened because a character's choice caused it. And if a character made a choice, it was due to their own motivations and not because the plot demanded it.
So, YES, there is this scenario where so much of what is happening comes as the result of each character having, at most, a 20% understanding of what's going on. But the withholding of information, CRITICALLY, cannot be because of Idiot Plot reasons.
Reigen "could" just ring up the Kageyama's and send Mob home, cutting short the first like 2/3 of his and Mob's arc. But he doesn't. And not because he's an idiot. He tried. Mob freaked out. And that was a good enough reason to just delay this until tomorrow, surely. But we watch as Reigen gets to experience was feels like genuine accomplishment, genuine joy, genuine meaning, by helping this kid experience life again. From the very start that's what Reigen wanted--to feel like he mattered. At the beginning this is what drives him to take up the Tetsugami case, despite knowing it can get him killed. (Because maybe Reigen can do something, this time. It's not just another doomed marriage or unsolvable missing person. Maybe he can make a difference. Maybe he can matter.)
And it manifests in what looks like heroics, but in the case with Mob, it drives Reigen to stall... more and more. He knows on some fundamental level it's wrong to be keeping Mob this long, but he can justify it in how this IS what Mob wanted.
And the same extends to the other characters... Tetsuo doesn't tell Reigen about Shigeo Kageyama's link to the Mogami case because he can't bear to admit HE was probably Shigeo's captor. Mob keeps secrets about Mogami because Mob knows he "killed" Reigen's "friend." Ritsu withholds information because it's the only power he has, and giving up information allows other people to stop him. Gimcrack and Slipshod keep quiet about Mob's location because their free lunch would end if they told.
And when these characters make bad decisions instead, it is CRITICALLY important to me that those decisions were the organic result of that character's complexes, goals, misunderstandings, and absent information. It's a train wreck and God Dammit I do everything in my power to ensure each character is their own conductor.
and the Themes. okay first of all i am a huge fan of stories that are like "no, heroic sacrifices are Not the answer, please stay alive so you can actually get better and fix your mistakes and be there for the people you care about", so obviously i adored that. i loved reigen confronting ritsu about this and urging him to stay alive, and i'm also obsessed with how reigen immediately Does Not Take His Own Advice. reigen's self-sacrifice plan makes a lot of sense with his character and given the circumstances it's definitely understandable why he and teru would be willing, however reluctantly, to resort to that, but of course it's not that actual solution because that's the whole point. (shout out to mogami being the one to save him. congrats on accidentally doing one (1) good thing.) reigen, ritsu, mob irt to being imprisoned rather than death -- none of them can just sacrifice themselves and expect that to fix everything and everyone to be fine without them, because that's not how this works. (also i can't wait to see ritsu inevitably be pissed at reigen about him trying to do exactly what he talked ritsu out of and reigen having no excuse except "yes i know, i am a hypocrite, please do as i say not as i do.") the story is dark but it's also so full of hope -- you can live, you can heal, you can move forward from all of this, no matter what you've done or what's happened to you.
YES!!! ANOTHER RESOUNDING YES!!!!
I've talked in the ABoT discord about how Reigen's sacrifice didn't work because it couldn't work. Because, if Reigen intentionally killed himself in order to end Mogami too, and Mob was saved and went home, then that means you DO save what you care about by sacrificing yourself. Which would be fine in other stories, but not this one.
ABoT's message has pretty loudly been "you don't save things by sacrificing yourself. you save them by living long enough to fix what you've broken." And even when Reigen is the one SAYING this to Ritsu... he doesn't believe it for himself. And he does not get to get away with not believing it for himself.
In earlier planning stages of the Reigen sacrifice scene, my plan was to have Reigen's knife slip before he could slice his throat (palms sweaty, grip slipped, parallel to what happened in the struggle-for-the-knife in the original chapter 8 Reigen-vs-Tetsugami scene).
But I thought about that and I said "No, actually." If Reigen fails because his palm slips, that suggests this COULD have succeeded, and Reigen just botched it is all.
So instead, the scorching fire around them (the blaze Reigen set) has dehydrated him to the point that his sweating has stopped. He is salty dusty skin and dry lips and his grip on the knife handle is perfect (anti-parallel to the first struggle for the knife scene). His execution is perfect. Reigen sacrifices himself perfectly.
...And then it's Mogami, who is well-practiced at controlling a maimed possessed body, who snatches back control and cauterizes the wound shut. Mogami (the antagonist of this story) cannot be defeated by self-sacrifice.
There is no "if only Reigen did it right" ambiguity. There is an absolute statement about where the themes stand.
(And yes, I'm sure Ritsu will have only positive emotions about what Reigen tried to do once this is made clear to him. :))
one of the other themes i found most interesting was the theme of lies and people trying to act like something they're not, and how that factors in to all the characters' stories. of course mogami is right there (and the parallels between him and reigen in how they both lie to mob for different reasons are super interesting) but i was particularly thinking a lot about reigen, teru, and ritsu and the different sorts of false lives they live -- reigen the con man playing the part of the confident, powerful psychic, constantly lying about his abilities and his accomplishments; teru keeping up the appearance of being totally in control and untouchable, surrounding himself with friends he can't stand and a girlfriend he doesn't care about; ritsu trying to maintain his reputation as the perfect, model student and constructing increasingly elaborate lies to convince his parents that he's doing fine.
i was thinking especially abt the parallels between reigen and teru -- their identities as liars are both emphasized, literally having teru saying "i was lying. i lied to you. i'm a liar" and reigen saying "i lied to you. i've been lying the whole time. i'm a liar" in the same chapter. both of them have grown accustomed to being alone and having a life that's more an expertly crafted facade than anything with substance, but both find in their respective kageyama brothers someone who they genuinely care about -- and they both doom these relationships from the beginning because they can't let go of the facade they're used to keeping up and their desire to feel important/superior. teru continues to be the same smug, uncaring asshole he's designed himself to be even after he starts to see ritsu as a friend, and because of this ritsu remains antagonistic towards and distrusting of him; reigen pretends to be the "21st century's greatest psychic" with mob even when he's starting to care about mob and want him as a permanent fixture in his life, causing things to fall apart when he reveals the truth. they both say the right things to point mob/ritsu in the right direction, but the way they act does the opposite: teru tells ritsu the dangers of what he's doing and reigen tells mob that they should call his family or the police, but at the end of the day, no matter their good intentions, teru likes feeling superior to ritsu and reigen likes having mob depend on him, and so they're not actually going to do anything that would upset that balance. (and, of course, they reassure themselves with the knowledge that it's not their fault, ritsu and mob just won't listen to them! which isn't technically untrue, but nonetheless frames the situation in a way that ignores their own role in it.)
Aaaaaaaaaaaa honestly I don't even think I have anything to add here because your analysis is already so đ¤đ¤đ¤. They are Liars they are Liars living through a Mask they are Liars who Say one thing and Do another they are Liars who convince themselves this Lie is fine.
all the characters are so good but my favorite has to be ritsu his whole storyline is fantastic. from the start i was enjoying the fic a lot but it was when it started to really get into ritsu's story and his whole deal that i started being like "oh yeah this is the good shit." seeing him go further and further down his self-destructive spiral, constantly digging himself deeper as he hurts himself and the people around him more and more, is so fascinating and painful. and then seeing him get better and start actually wanting to live as he talks to reigen and later teru! and then in the confrontation with mogami when he decides once and for all that he wants to live and remember and try to find a way to fix his mistakes rather than forgetting them or giving in to them! just. he is thirteen years old and he just has all this rage and grief that he's been holding onto and repressing for so long and he finally gets the chance to do something with it, something he can do to find his brother at the low low price of bleeding himself dry, and so he throws himself into that, tearing himself to pieces and not caring who else gets hurt in the process, until he reaches rock bottom, what should be the point of no return -- but it isn't, because teru saves him, because reigen convinces him to try to stay alive, because mob is waiting for him, because he has people who care about him and he's just a desperate, hurting kid and no matter how badly he's fucked up he can still come back from it. just Such a compelling and painful and beautiful character arc
Thank you for stating exactly the reason I loved writing Ritsu's arc so much đđđđđđđđĽşâ¤ď¸
When I was about 13, I got really into Naruto and I really liked Sasuke's character. Even seeing him now makes some inner part of me point and go "It's Sasuke!" Brooding, stoic, over-achieving, entrenched in family trauma, is swayed over to the darkside because of the rage and grief he's been sitting on.
And because it's Ninja Fantasy World, Sasuke gets to do this and be really cool the whole time.
Ritsu is... actually just a 13-year-old, with psychic powers which he didn't even want after his brother vanished. He IS smart and he IS a model student and he IS powerful but... he's scared. He's scared, and he's 13. He NEEDS to be smarter than everyone (he's not, and he knows this, and it's scary) and more powerful than everyone (he's not, he knows, he's scared), because he knows that anyone with power over him can control him. And he's at his wit's end being controlled.
So he needs to be COMPLETELY in control and have COMPLETE power. And every instance that proves to him he's actually weak, actually clueless, actually being taken advantage of drives him to panic.
And he finds antagonism on all sides... Teru who loves to pick apart and mock Ritsu for every weakness he has. The spirit horde who eat him within an inch of his life. Isa trying to shut him down. His parents trying to control him.
No one is helping him with his grief... No one is finding his brother... No one is saving him... He does not want to keep living like this. And "no longer living" isn't even an option with how heavily his parents rely on him.
So what does he do. He's so alone. He doesn't have a single soul on his side. Every day is torment. ...And then he has this opportunity that shows up like "if you hurt yourself real bad, kill yourself doing it maybe, you can solve the very thing that ruined your life"
So of course he does it. He grabs onto it like a hot stove or a live wire because he's been wanting to hurt himself, and now he can do it in pursuit of the very thing which will save his brother and fix everything. The risk of dying isn't even a risk. It's an escape. He can do this and he can BECOME more powerful and he can GAIN control and he can USE and MANIPULATE whoever he wants (namely the people who've proven again and again they'll hold him down and force obedience out of him).
Of course he spirals. Of course he hurts people...
And then he finds rock-bottom. Teru chews him out and abandons him. Ritsu flips on Gimcrack and exorcises him out of paranoia (Teru turned on him, Gimcrack probably betrayed him too.) He NEARLY kills Reigen under that same absolute fit of paranoia and fear. ...And then he finds his brother. His brother. Alive.
And grabbing his brother shreds his hand. It does not fix him. It does not save him. It maims him.
And now Ritsu is nothing. Not powerful. Not in control. Not certain. He's someone who just hurts people. He's someone who destroys. He drives everyone away and they're RIGHT to leave him because of how horrible he's been. He can't save his brother, and his brother won't save him. ...So Ritsu wanders back to Reigen. The only person who seems to have a semblance of direction in this whole thing. Broken and beaten, Ritsu joins Reigen because he does not know what else to do.
But there is an up from rock-bottom. As much as Reigen and Ritsu are just The Worst to each other, it's actually that childishness in Reigen that starts to work on Ritsu... This is not a typical adult, using adult-speak and adult-authority to make Ritsu comply. Ritsu can't even fall into his typical masked-up behavior against an adult because Reigen is a fucking nuisance and an irritant and Ritsu, for all his "maturity", riles easily.
This is... really just Some Fucking Guy. A loser, at best. But it's someone Ritsu's brother cared about, and who Ritsu knows gave kindness to Mob where Ritsu couldn't. And it's someone who isn't forcing Ritsu to do anything. Reigen is, in fact, letting Ritsu make these decisions to change on his own. Teru comes back with an apology. Ritsu is staring at the chance to do better, and the chance for some future that doesn't involve killing himself.
And he gets to make that decision against Mogami.
And--here's the thing--Mogami was WITH Ritsu for so much of Ritsu's spiral. He knows what sort of kid Ritsu is. So he "knows" Ritsu will accept what Mogami has to offer...
But when "makeshift" vanished was exactly when Mogami got Mob back, aka exactly when Ritsu went to Reigen. Mogami did not get to see Ritsu's healing. So he got to be blindsided by Ritsu's ultimate decision.
and ritsu's dynamic with teru is just. so good i adored every single scene they had together. first of all they are so fucking funny. they're just these two psychic middle schoolers who both suck so bad and just cannot stop trying to murder each other on the soccer field and i love that for them. ritsu's terrible decision-making reaches new heights every day and teru's just standing there watching him and being right about everything in the most annoying way possible. literally the worsties ever <3
I have, consistently, referred to them as "the two worst middle schoolers ever". Like "you're a horde ghost and you're stuck doing the bidding of the two worst middle schoolers ever."
With huge consistency, the scenes I find funniest end up being Ritsu Teru scenes. Because they are, in fact, The Worst.
but more importantly on a serious note i am obsessed with the complicated mess that is their relationship and the way it and the reader's perception of it change as the story goes on. when they first meet things are seemingly pretty straightforward (mostly. i have thoughts which i will talk abt in a second): teru is the one causing the conflict between them by being shitty, and ritsu's just responding to it relatively reasonably. ritsu's the protagonist, the good guy, whereas teru is a morally gray asshole. them working together is a matter of necessity, with ritsu only going along with it because he needs teru's skill and power on his side and teru presumably having his own secret, self-serving motivations. standard stuff; we all know how this goes.
except then the story keeps going, and it gradually becomes apparent that things are far from this simple. it slowly becomes clear that despite teru's arrogance and callousness, he does have ethical standards and lines he won't cross -- whereas ritsu gets more and more unfettered as time goes on. it also gradually becomes obvious that teru does genuinely care about ritsu and see him as a friend (probably the closest thing to a genuine friend teru has), even if teru himself is pretty shitty at being a friend -- leading to the incredibly striking moment when ritsu himself realizes this, and his main takeaway is just that he has power over teru. by the time they have their second soccer field fight, teru has proven himself the more morally upstanding one, which is pretty wild considering the first thing we ever see him do is beat the shit out of a near-defenseless thirteen-year-old for annoying him. of course, he still isn't supposed to be fully in the right -- one thing i really appreciated about the story in general was that the conflicts between characters are rarely as simple as "this character was Right and this one was Wrong," but rather a matter of all the characters making mistakes at one time or another and then having to deal with the consequences and make amends. ritsu and teru's relationship is a prime example of that with how "ritsu made his own decisions and those decisions were Very Bad" and "teru treated ritsu poorly and never actually did the work to make himself someone ritsu could actually trust or would want to listen to" are facts that coexist and both get addressed. the second fight is a masterpiece of a scene in basically every way, but one of my favorite aspects is how teru is desperately trying to reach out to ritsu but is hit with the truth that it's too late for that, that he should have been doing this the whole time, that all this is partially his fault. and in this scene, he fully accepts that, gives in and decides that ritsu is right: it's too late to make amends, it's too late to save ritsu. but it doesn't end there, because this is not a story in which things are simply unfixable, and so instead teru comes back, decides to make the hard choice and try to fix things instead of turning his back on ritsu for good. during the fight, teru says he wants to help ritsu, to sacrifice for him, and ritsu scoffs at him and rejects the idea -- but then teru actually does it. he puts his money where his mouth is and reaches out to ritsu and offers his own psychic energy to save ritsu's life, along with apologizing to him and offering his help to find mob. like i dunno what else to say that's not just summarizing every scene they have together but god i love their dynamic and its arc. i really hope they manage to become actual friends now because god knows they could both use more (read: any) of those. the text exchange they have at the end of the most recent chapter is delightful i love that they bond by insulting reigen i think that's great for them.
Yes yes yes yesssss. It definitely felt like the most ambitious thing early on in ABoT, where I had early-story Ritsu and early-story Teru, and I wanted, somehow, to pull off "they basically swap moral grounds by their second fight."
It's easy enough to just SAY "Ritsu spirals and does progressively worse things. Teru starts to take objection to these more and more until he's the one who thinks this whole thing has gone too far."
And, harkening back to earlier, this kind of plotline has to be deeply rooted in their characters. There is no "Ritsu becomes evil just because" and there is no "Teru becomes good just because."
So they needed to be consistent in their own characters, but evolving under the pressures of the story. Ritsu I talked a lot about early up, how deeply he fears not having control, how much repressed frustration he has over the ways everyone in his life has failed him. And he's never allowed to speak up, or god forbid lash out, because it is his JOB to be the surviving child. Perfect, mature, composed.
Ritsu takes this WILD leap into something insanely dangerous which he has no understanding of, nor power in. Teru IS his first big painful wake-up call with how summarily Teru curbstomps him. Ritsu goes home desperately wanting to quit.
He pushes through it, afraid and knowing he has so little power and control. Then there's Teru, exacerbating this. Because he loves to point out how weak, clueless, and not in control Ritsu is. He jabs and he teases and he chews Ritsu out and he knocks Ritsu down because Teru cannot pass up the chance to prove he's better.
So... of course Ritsu eats up the first opportunity he's given to improve his power over Teru. Gimcrack offers to train him--Gimcrack who's far more supportive of Ritsu than Teru ever is--so of course Ritsu accepts. Every single tick of power in Ritsu's direction is security. And Ritsu is consistently rewarded. He learns to manipulate, and it rewards him with control. He pushes Teru away and it rewards him with independence. He lets the whole horde possess him and it rewards him with power.
And then there's Mezato in all this, threatening to rip away his control. But he can beat that out easily with possession. And if he possesses people, why should he care? Possession feels nice, to him. That's not even a fraction of a fraction of the pain he's been through. He can do this to other people, because possession is POWER.
And, ahhh, possession was such a great thematic vehicle to spin the Ritsu-Teru face-heel-heel-face turn around.
The first cracks we see in Teru's demeanor are all, subtly or not, around possession. When Ritsu almost blasts the possessed woman (Ritsu, panicked, uncertain how to handle things) Teru tackles him and screams at him. (Killing a possessed woman? Teru oh Teru why might that terrify you?)
So Teru DOES have morals. He does have limits. But of course, his first exercise of this is tackling and SCREAMING at Ritsu for fucking up. Just another tick mark in Ritsu's check list of feeling powerless and antagonized.
And the next time, when Ritsu offhandedly mentions he's had his parents possessed for the night while he and Teru were at the meat warehouse... well it's out of focus, since Ritsu is our POV character and he doesn't notice, but Teru freezes. Teru questions this. Teru, instead of letting Gimcrack phase him through the wall (and he was resistant to letting Gimcrack touch him to phase him in in the first place) Teru instead blasts a hole through the warehouse wall.
But... Teru has a plan. When Isa catches Ritsu in the call center, Teru confiscates Ritsu's spirits and (behind his back) blackmails them into never accepting a command from Ritsu to possess someone. (Teru is also a control-freak, and rather than try to talk to Ritsu directly about not possessing people, he just uses manipulation and threats to make it happen).
So now, Teru can relax, surely :). He invites Ritsu along for the movie. He's mocking and insufferable and cruel to Ritsu but, hey :), that's just Teru proving his place in the hierarchy. He... actually does want Ritsu there. He actually does help Ritsu (cauterizes his wound without asking). (It's still power-plays. Still power-plays all the way down which Ritsu hates.)
And Teru... incorrectly... starts to entertain this idea that Ritsu also thinks what they have is friendship. And after the ice cream thing, is when Ritsu leans into Gimcrack's offer to learn how to start being manipulative like Teru is.
So Teru notices NOTHING is wrong for a long time, because now Ritsu is faking it. He doesn't notice until it is much too late. And, frankly, it was ALWAYS too late for Teru to take the moral high road. And some part of Teru realizes this because what he sees in Ritsu, he realizes, is what it looked like to watch Teru from the outside. Teru was ALLOWED to be manipulative and horrible because Teru, himself, always knew he would stop before crossing a real moral line. (Not that Ritsu knew this.) And now he's staring at Ritsu, a true threat who won't listen to reason and who CANNOT reliably be expected to back down before a line is crossed.
And... to THROW this in Teru's face in the FORM of Ritsu letting every spirit from his own horde possess Ritsu during the fight, giving Ritsu the upper hand.
I always knew, for this second fight, the tables would need to be a lot more evenly matched, with Ritsu coming out ahead more often than not. But I also don't like "some character is morally questionable now, and for some reason that's made them stronger than the master character who pulverized them earlier."
But POSSESSION. The motif that all this conflict is hanging upon, used as a boon on Ritsu's side to smash Teru into the ground, to physically and MENTALLY rattle him to the point that he's lagging on Ritsu's attacks and incapable of subduing Ritsu until Teru puts aside his psychic powers all together...
AND JUST... Teru all the while being forced to realize he IS not blameless in this. That every horrible, callous remark he made to Ritsu was not directing Ritsu to the right path or proving himself cool and powerful. They were all instead only cementing Ritsu's hatred of him.
And Teru does not want to accept this at first. He wants to think he did the right thing, ultimately, and it was RITSU who rejected him. And this is where the scene with Slipshod comes into play. Slipshod, who is shown again and again being good at pressing people's buttons. Slipshod is the one bully bigger than Teru in all this, and behind his dumb demeanor is he really really good at knowing how to get a rise out of people. He does it to Reigen while possessing Mezato. He does it to Ritsu while possessing his mother. And he does it to Teru, for fun, because he loves to rub Teru's face in the mess he created.
Which, on the plus side, was the wake up call Teru needed to recognize how consistently horrible HE had been. How much of Ritsu's spiral (and now, imminent death) happened because Teru gleefully pushed him toward it.
Teru's one and only friend.
After Teru swore off friends and loved ones, because they can be used to hurt him.
So it is a big moment, and a big decision Teru makes, when he chooses Ritsu. chooses apologizing. chooses making himself vulnerable (VERY LITERALLY, with how the power transfusion drains Teru to nothing). Teru chooses to care.
And ultimately, it's not even that Teru went from the bad moralless one, to the moral one. He always had these morals. He had these uncrossable lines since day one. But he hid it behind his horrible antagonistic demeanor and the cracks did not come through until he realized he lost control of Ritsu. Teru's ACTUAL heel-face turn comes in him realizing how awful his demeanor was and making amends for that.
i'm actually not done talking about them though because it's finally time for that tangent about teru and ritsu's first fight on the soccer field now because i just reread it while writing that last section and it's so interesting actually. like okay, like i said before it does set teru up as the problem -- in that scene teru is very much the aggressor; he's being a complete asshole for no goddamn reason, with absolutely no compunctions about beating the crap out of some random kid, and ritsu is the scrappy underdog determined to fight back despite not really having the means to. but then there are the moments hinting at more complexity to teru -- him literally stopping the fight to teach ritsu to use his barrier, giving ritsu the makeup after the fight, and of course his decision to spare ritsu in the end. and then on ritsu's side, he almost actually kills teru -- the only reason he doesn't is that teru manages to break free. (awful awful au idea: ritsu actually does kill teru here. would that be fucked up or what) something that stood out to me when rereading it is that despite teru repeatedly saying he'll kill ritsu, and ritsu's internal monologue being very convinced that he's in mortal danger, teru's reaction to ritsu actually almost killing him -- "you really are trying to kill me. we're done", etc -- seems to imply that his threats were more him just talking a big game, expecting ritsu to give in and surrender eventually, and he didn't actually intend to kill him until ritsu gave him an actual reason to. especially interesting to me is the bit where teru asks ritsu if he really meant to kill him, because ritsu's narration and teru's actual actions are kind of at odds -- ritsu tells teru he meant to do it because he thinks him scaring teru is what's making teru hesitate, and that he needs to make teru think he's dangerous in order to get him to leave ritsu alone, but teru's actual response is the opposite, attacking ritsu more fiercely because "there's no reason for [him] to hold back". in general the scene very cleverly sets up the core difference between them: teru is pretty awful but does have firm moral standards, whereas ritsu is desperate and willing to do just about anything if he thinks it's the only option. also the parallels and contrasts with the second soccer field scene are excellent -- the role reversal with the strangling but also how when ritsu does it both the initial act of starting to strangle teru and the fact that he doesn't end up killing teru are both unintentional on ritsu's part, but when teru does it it's a very intentional choice both to do it and to not go through with it; "we're done" said by teru the first time when he's preparing to kill ritsu and then the second time after he's decided not to. have i mentioned that this fic is good because this fic is good. i'm running out of ways to say that
YES!!!!!! ANOTHER RESOUNDING YESYES YES.
I have slightly pre-emptively answered this question by mentioning it above but Teru demonstrates this hypocritical "rules for thee but not for me" because, internally, Teru knows HE will always stop before the line is crossed.
BUT RITSU DOES NOT KNOW THIS. THERE IS NO REASONABLE EXPECTATION FOR RITSU TO KNOW THIS.
So Ritsu, and we the audience, do NOT know this during the first soccer fight. Teru is going to kill Ritsu is a very reasonable conclusion to draw from the way Teru goes all out on Ritsu. Ritsu is terrified. Out of his depth. He's panicking. This kid is going to kill me and he has every reason to believe it.
We don't know, unless (like you) you look at the smaller details, that Teru is not intending to kill Ritsu. He's talking big. He's trying to force submission in Ritsu. He's not trying to kill.
But Ritsu does go for the kill. Because it is the single break he gets and it's perhaps his only chance to survive (he thinks), and he does, IN FACT go for the kill.
Teru breaks free and he does... even give Ritsu the chance to clarify if that was an intended kill-shot. Teru is giving the chance for Ritsu to essentially say "Sorry, accident, don't escalate to trying to kill me." But Ritsu misreads the room, like you point out, and this is when Teru gets serious.
Strangulation, in the first fight and in the last fight. Exactly as you say. Accidental, by Ritsu, the first time, and accidental in letting Teru live. Intentional, by Teru, the second time, and intentional in letting Ritsu live.
"WE'RE DONE" ECHOED. TWICE. In their first fight and their last. With entirely different meanings.
okay those were my big points but i also had a bunch of smaller thoughts so here's just. a list: - i just think it's really funny that teru saves ritsu by punching him in the chest with psychic power on not one but two occasions. literally their dynamic in a nutshell. (also. the way during the time at the mall ritsu responds by being like "did you cauterize me" really gets to me for some reason. he sounds so offended. like you can't just cauterize someone's wound maybe he liked bleeding all over the place you don't know!) (actually wait that thought is also very funny considering what happens with mogami and reigen later. you really can't just cauterize someone's wounds that's very rude. they worked hard to be that grievously injured) - okay so the burger scene. first of all generally a great scene second of all obviously it's a parallel to the scene with mob and the milk (reigen saying "have mine too" and all that) but also i love the parallels to the scene with isa in the coffee shop (also a great scene btw. have i mentioned this fic is good). they're both scenes in which ritsu has a loud emotional breakdown in a public restaurant (love that that happens twice. ritsu honey can you maybe not) with a major focus on ritsu's insistence on letting himself suffer and refusing any kindness he's shown, but they show ritsu at very different points in his story and have very different outcomes -- isa can't manage to get through to ritsu, but reigen can. ritsu refuses the croissant till the end, but he eats the burger. (sorry to add another side note but i love that that was a very serious sentence i just typed about a very emotional character arc.) also the symbolism in the fact that in the coffee shop scene, ritsu's explosion of psychic powers freezes and then spills his hot chocolate, rendering it undrinkable, but then in the burger scene when he blows up the ceiling the dust explicitly doesn't get on the food, so he can still eat it. good shit - i'm trying to avoid going through every single line or joke i liked one by one but i will say. the "this--" "reigen." "reigen" jokes were both incredibly funny on their own but the fact that they're like 30 chapters apart is what really kills me. the dedication. i saw the second one and was thinking "didn't that joke happen before. when was that. wait was that literally all the way back with tetsuo". countless plot events and several irl years may pass but reigen will never catch a break - the "FUCK OFF" tag reigen made being the one that they exorcise mogami with. perfect - love that ritsu is indirectly responsible for teru's girlfriend breaking up with him (good for mei honestly. sure teru wasn't actually cheating but his ass deserved to get dumped) and i like to imagine that teru never lets this fact go. he's not particularly upset about the breakup but he WILL bring up that ritsu ruined his relationship at every possible opportunity purely to annoy him
I THINK YOU MAY PERHAPS BE THE FIRST PERSON TO RECOGNIZE THE DOUBLE-CAUTERIZATION, and the intentional joke in Ritsu, the first time, declaring "Donât⌠perform psychic medical procedures on me without my permission, okay?!" Like sorry bud, this is not the last unauthorized psychic medical cauterization Teru's gonna perform on you.
But not every unauthorized medical cauterization can be a win. Turns out when Mogami does it it's kinda mean >:(. But also necessary, for a not-dead Reigen, so actually thanks Mogami.
ABSOLUTELY THE "HAVE MINE TOO" INTENTIONAL PARALLEL BETWEEN THE MILK SCENE AND THE BURGER SCENE. I'm always glad when someone notices the repeat phrasing that ends both those scenes.
And aaghhhhh I could write a whole other essay about the symbolism that food plays with Ritsu's plotline, but in the smallest nutshell how it tends to represent someone reaching out with care and how often Ritsu rejects it. One public restaurant psychic outburst rendered the offered food unconsumable and the other one intentionally points out the way the food (burger) avoided the destruction :')
THANK YOU YES. "This--" "Reigen." "Reigen." as a repeat joke tickles me so much. Just Some Guy energy. Could've played the most pivotal role all night but he'll still end up somewhere next day where someone needs to figure out who he is. Reigen is here too, btw. His name is Reigen, btw.
Fuck Off tag was delightful... It started as an inside joke for a very early comic that @sandflakedraws drew (and then later redrew), of the (chapter 5 or 6) Reigen Tetsugami confrontation. The ineffective tag Reigen sticks to Tetsugami's cheek has, in katakana, "fuck off" written on it. Hilarious enough joke for me, years later, to incorporate it into the story.
Re: the girlfriend thing. I've joked before "if I had a nickel every time evil spirit possession was mistaken for an affair in ABoT I'd have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice." But yeah, Ritsu, you asshole. You cost your bro his girlfriend.
i could just keep going but at this rate i'm going to be going back through the entire fic and just talking about every single scene so i should probably stop before this gets any longer. basically what i wanna say though is that the fic was very good, thank you for writing it, it has given me brainworms. once again i am so sorry for the length of this ask
THANK YOU!!! I think I just spent like 2 hours writing this response because, as you can see, I REALLY LIKE talking about this stuff haha!!
#ABoT#A Breach of Trust#it's a super duper long post under the cut haha I had a lot to say. as did the ask#thank you i love this
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THE GIRL WITH THE ENDEAVOR DOLLÂ
"Nova Kamiya, Izuku Midoriya, and Katsuki Bakugou all grew up together in the Shizuoka Prefecture, before Nova was born her mother moved to Japan from America after loosing her husband to a rouge villain attack making friends with Mitsuki and Inko during her stay, Nova grew up in japan alongside Kacchan and Izuku bonding more with the latter over their love of heros and missing quirks (and missing fathers lMAO) join this messy journey of love and soul searching between Nova and not just her childhood best friends but her future classmates aswell. Stay tuned!!đ. I'm trying to make it like A/B/O but I've never written for it so please be patient.đ
(A little on that a/b/o so your not confused in this story. In my a/b/o children can sorta be predestined to be alpha, beta, or Omega, like you can kinda tell by their pheromones and demures, or simply by their parents gender. It's kinda like the genetics of eyes if that makes any sense like how two blue eyed parents could have a blue eyed baby but if the parents of the blue eyed parents were all brown eyed parents they could have a baby with brown eyes or the baby could carry the gene of brown eyes. Like two Omegas male and female because I also believe that male and female Omegas can have children together as well as male and female alphas because you know male+ female =pup not necessarily Alpha+Omega=pup. So two Omegas have a baby and it could be an Omega but if their parents were all betas on both sides the baby could be a beta or carry beta genes???? Does that make any sense let me know )
Anyway Katsuki's parents are both alphas so he's an alpha Izuku's parents were both Omegas so he will be and Omega and Novas mom is an Omega and he father was an alpha and idk what I want her to be she probably going an Omega lol
  Feed back is greatly appreciated just please be nice. It's kinda proof read lol but not really.Â
"Why are you being so mean?" Izukus voice trembled and whimperd with fear as he raised his fists in the air his distressed pheromones permitting the distance around them, "You're making her cry, Kacchan! If you keep hurting her, uh ...I'll, uh... I'll stop you myself!" These words tumbled from 4 year old Izuku Midoriyas lips as he stood at the end of Mesou Park, in front of his very best friend Nova Kamiya defending her from the bullies that decided to pick a fight with them.
 Nova was on the ground cradling her bruised arm, and her all time favorite Endeavor toy to her chest, trying to hold back tears and keep her sad smell to herself. She looked down at the doll which had been ripped in half, the stuffing was spilled all along the ground and even in her lap, with a trail leading to the other half of the doll which was left in the clutches of Katsuki Bakugou or Kacchan as Izuku and Nova liked to call him, he is the worst bully Nova has ever met.Â
But first here's what happened.
Nova and Izuku had decided that bright Sunny Sunday morning that they were going to go down to Mesou Park and play heros together till super time.
Nova all but begged her mother everyday to see him since she couldn't last weekend, all because Izuku was at home sick with the flu, but her mother promised her as soon as he was better that they could play together again as much as she wanted but only until after Izuku got better.
She was so excited for this day, jumping with joy when seeing Izuku on the swing set at the end of the park waiting for her arrival. His favorite All Might figurine sat in his lap as he swayed with the wind on the rusty seat.Â
 So you can imagine their dismay when halfway into playing Kacchan and his minions, Tsubasa and Tesaki or dumb and dumber as Nova like to call them, showed up to the park causing a ruckus and disturbing the other pups as they played. Nova told Izuku they weren't going to let them bother them today not like they did the last time and Izuku agreed with her and they continue to play without incident.Â
 Up until Tsubasa had zeroed in on Izuku and Nova playing together by the swings and came over to spy on them from behind the giant tree near the swing set. That's when he overheard Izuku and Nova talking about All Mights Special combo moves and Endeavors furious flames before he decided that was all he needed to hear before he ran back to report his findings to Kacchan.
Izuku always chooses All Might when they played heros together always, just like she always chooses Endeavor. It's not like she likes him tho, no infact she thought he was a mean mean bully just like Kacchan and his friends, but his quirk stopped a lot of bad guys and in her book that was enough to make him a good hero despite his attitude. She also secretly really loved All Might just as much as Izuku did but she let him have All Might every time they played heros just to see him happy.Â
Unfortunately for them Kacchan just happened to be one of THOSE moods today. "Are you guys seriously playing heros right now?" Nova and Izuku stopped playing and turn their heads to the voice addressing them. Tesaki and Tsubasa are seen snickering into their hands while they stand behind Kacchan who has his arms crossed with a smug smile on his face.
"Yeah so what?" Nova replies with a snark hands on her hips as she turns her nose up at him. "Well if your really a hero then how about you dodge this weakling!" He yells as he dashes for her, screaming she closes her eyes and braces for the impact of his push but it doesn't come, instead she feels a harsh tug on the doll in her hands. Her head snaps up immediately and she cries out for her special doll.
"Hey that's not yours!" Kacchan laughs at her waving the doll above her head once he was able to get it from her grasp. "Your a hero aren't you," he teased "Don't heros share their toys? Hey guys catch!" he then throws the doll into the air over to his friends who then shove Nova into a involuntary game of monkey in the middle as she tries to rescue her stolen doll.
 With one final jump Nova finally claims the doll again but so has Kacchan and he's NOT letting go. "Let go of it Kacchan, give it back it not yous!" A tug of war begins between the two of them not lasting long before Nova could hear the tearing of the stitches as Kacchan continued to pull. "Wait Kacchan stop your going to-"
"RRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPP"
The doll comes apart at the seams splitting this way and that until the stuffing from the Endeavor doll comes spilling out around her and into the air like white dandelion ploofs, without warning Kacchan shoved Nova to the ground where she hit her elbow really hard against the metal bars of the swing set. That's when Nova finally let out a distressing smell, not a very strong one but one strong enough for Katsuki to wrinkle his nose at her in disgust. Izuku finally ran in front of her yelling at Kacchan and the others to stop their antics.
"Hmph. You both wanna pretend to be a heros?" Kacchan proceeds to blow up the half of the doll he managed to snag from Nova with a wide grin. The tears Nova tried so hard to hold back came spilling out. "Neither of you stand a chance at becoming REAL heros without a quirk not to mention your just going to turn out to be a bunch of weak Omegas so why bother." Laughing he and his friends finally jump Izuku and and Nova. Kacchan went for the other half of Novas doll, the others went after Izuku kicking and shoving and hitting him calling him a Deku over and over again.Â
Nova tried her best to protect her doll but unfortunately Kacchan was stronger than her. Kacchan snatched the other half of the doll right from her tiny hands and burnt it to a crisp. The ashes falling in Novas face slowly and silently much like her tears did. Kacchan and his friends laughed and taunted them both until they finally decided they were done torturing them and moved onto the next group of pups to mess with.Â
Crying Nova moved to Izuku to make sure he was alright. Izuku was just lying there in the dirt looking up at the sky tears streaming down his face. Sniffling and wiping her own tears away Nova sat Izuku up and dusted off his clothes and hair and asked if he was ok. With a nod he started to cry harder, "I'm sorry I wasn't able to save your doll Nova, I'm so sorry." Pulling his hands to his face he started rubbing at his eyes, " It's not your fault zuku, Kacchans just a big ole bully whole likes to pick fights for no reason." Nova crossed her arms in anger. " Why does he have to be so mean just because he has a quirk does not make him any better than us!" She says with a huff grabbing a fist full of dirt and tossing it in anger.Â
Here's the sad truth, all men are not created equal.
By the time they were both 4 years old, Nova and Izuku had learned that some kids have more power than others especially if you have the right secondary gender to back up that power. But that won't hold them back, if anything it pushes them to do even better. Being a hero is everything to Izuku and Nova. Despite not having their quirks yet they know they are going to be the fiercest heros around when they do get them! No matter how many people teased them for not having their quirks yet, they had each other to lift the other one up and encourage them to keep going and to keep believing that one day their quirks would finally show.
#MHA#my hero academia#oc character#bnha x reader#bnha oc#katsuki bakugou x reader#izuku midoriya#inko midoriya#bakugou mitsuki#BNHA#bnha#my hero academy fanfiction#bnha x oc#x reader#x oc#oc reader#kirishima ejirou#bakugo x reader#izuku x reader#kirishima ejiro x reader#mha#bakugo#bakugou x reader x midoriya#Midoriya#bnha fanart#bnha eijiro kirishima#bnha manga#bnha anime#mha anime#mha manga
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my favourite part of yoohan is that he's hers, quite literally
#i wanted to write more but i dont have the right words for a good post lmao#orv#orv spoilers#han sooyoung#yoo joonghyuk#yoohan#anyway i imagine her biting him (on the arm; on the cheek; wherever's closest) and thinking ''mine mine mine''#and i think on the flip side it's like#wouldn't it be comforting to know someone's.... let's say responsible for you#yoo joonghyuk looks up at the constellations and looks for kim dokja#i think han sooyoung could be a north star for him too#not morally or any of the usual metaphorical ways it's used in a dynamic#just someone for him to turn back to#always.#idk what i mean i... i simply love them so much#rs: because of your story#orv.txt#fra.txt
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Xena Warrior Princess 3x07 The Debt (2)
You mean that I should serve someone who hates me. More than that, you need to serve someone you hate. I'd rather die. You've been a dead woman for a long time now Xena, I'm offering you the chance to live.
#xena warrior princess#xwpedit#xenaedit#wlwedit#wlwsource#tvedit#dailyflicks#xena*#gif*#I am 100% on the xena/gabrielle train bc duh but man I LOVE xena's relationship with lao ma and I wish we'd seen more of it in the series...#lao ma being xena's first turning point and helping her gain her consciousness back etc is so important to me...#lao ma is described as both soft and hard and that's exactly what xena needed and yeah she loved her and admired her so much to the point#that she felt indebted to her#xena in the debt ep series is lit like that meme that's like#If Lao Ma has a million fans then I am one of them. If Lao Ma has ten fans then I am one of them. If Lao Ma has only one fan then that is me#If Lao Ma has no fans then that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is against Lao Ma then I am against the world.#anyway I just love it - I just love the idea that dark xena came around to the point of wanting to serve this woman simply because she#believed in her and in how much of a good influence she could be 'I have been blessed or cursed to see into the souls of others. You don't k#know it yet Xena but you're a remarkable woman capable of greatness'#LIKE....... idk it just makes me insane the unconditional support the unconditional love.... anyways
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Iâd need to watch it again to confirm this, but Iâm pretty sure that Thomas Becket is the only character who independently initiates touch with Henry?
There are plenty of people whom Henry touches, and itâs almost always possessive or threatening: the villager woman in the first flashback scene, the Saxon peasant girl (and possibly the old man? I think he prods at both of them with his riding crop), Gwendolen (holding her shoulders/neck), the French prostitute (kissing, leaning over, sitting on, slapping her butt), his sons (pushing and kicking them), the bishop (strangling), his barons (clutching onto one, tapping oneâs head to indicate his vapidness), and Thomas tooâ(clasping his shoulders when he realizes Thomas is hurt, holding his hand to put on the chancellor ring).
Interestingly, I donât think we ever see Henry touch or be touched by his mother or his wife. Thereâs the moment when he grabs/kicks their needlework, and later on he knocks all the plates off the table, possibly vaguely in their directionâso there are two physical interactions which are violent but still sort of⌠distant? And still the direction is just Henry to them (in terms of physicality, anywayâverbally, they do initiate conversations/fights with him).
Does anyone touch Henry? There are the monks who whip him in the end, but Henry has ordered them to do it. Likewise, thereâs the servant/valet/page who begins to wipe him dry in the bath scene, but again, thatâs someone performing a duty. Thomas Becket though, cuts in and takes over the drying, and the dialogue tells us explicitly that heâs not expected to do this, and doesnât have to (âYouâre a noblemanâwhy do you play at being my valet?â) but Becket seemingly wants to do it, and he knows Henry likes how he does it: enthusiastically, confidently, warmly, and freely (âNo one does it like you, Thomasâ). He towels Henryâs head, helps Henry put on his boots, and then casually uses Henryâs legs to push himself up to stand.
Thereâs the scene in Henryâs tent, after the French prostitute has left and the two of them are sitting on the bed: Becket sort of leans in and briefly clasps Henryâs arm where itâs lying in his lap, casually and warmly.
Thereâs also the getaway horse ride, where Becket is holding onto Henry, arms wrapped around him, and theyâre both laughing and smiling. Henryâs shirt actually falls open a little and Becketâs hand winds up on his bare torso.
And then there are the thwarted attempts at touch, after the split: the two scenes where Henry accuses Becket of not loving him. Both times, Becket moves toward Henry and reaches out to touch him, and both times, Henry moves away and tells him to keep his distance.
Theyâre quick little things, but if they are actually the only instances of anyone touching Henry affectionately (or even of their own volition) that we see over the course of the movie, it does support an impression of Henry as fundamentally isolatedâmaybe there is truth to his claim that Becket is the only person whoâs ever loved him.
Whatâs tragic is that 1) Henry doesnât really know how to express love himself (see: Henry expressing nothing but violence and entitlement to everyone else around him, and even to Becket for the most part), and 2) Becketâs love, albeit huge in Henryâs world, is conflicted and unfulfillingâfor both of them.
Becket might be the only person whoâs dared to reach out to Henry and meet him on something close to a human level, and Henry loves him for it, but why does Becket do it? Part of it may just be an instinct of Becketâs to fulfill a need where he sees one, if he can, and if it benefits him. I think itâs so interesting that Henry seems obsessed with the question of whether Thomas really loves him, when it seems the truth might be that Thomas actually doesnât know; maybe itâs an unanswerable, even nonsensical question to him. Like, what else could he do? I donât know. âInsofar as I was capable of love, yes I did [love you].â But the fact that his last words, unwitnessed and private, are, âPoor Henry.â Fuck me up.
Ok, that last paragraph got away from me and now I canât stop. Tempted to draw comparisons to âBeauty and the Beastâ (this is a sad version where no magical transformation happens⌠unless you take a particular Catholic stance and consider that both of them maybe took real solace and meaning in Thomas being made a saint and that Henry maybe found real absolution through his penance).
I also want to compare all of this to âThe Lion in Winterâ, where it feels like, rather than a story about one lonely monster in a castle full of people he sees as objects, itâs a whole microcosm of traumatized and power-hungry people, reaching out for power and security and love and stabbing each other in the back, over and over. (Like, of course his mother and wife and kids have complex feelings for himâsome of which involve love!) I think that depiction is better and less myopic, more true to life and probably a more accurate portrait of the historical figures involved (even when it comes to Henry and BecketâBecket was of that world too, after all), but I think Iâve rambled enough about all of this, so Iâm going to end this post now. Iâll just say that thereâs something nevertheless appealing about the boiled-down fairytale melodrama of âno one else ever loved me but you!â
#this entire post (tag ramble and all) was in my Drafts for like 3 months. itâs a lot of words that donât say much but Iâm setting it free ->#and now a new epiphany#henry is just the fucking phantom of the opera again isnât he lmao#the original blorbo#(for me I mean)#which makes thomas christine and god⌠is raoul.. :/#maybe itâs a hot take to call becket a simple fairytale melodrama lol#it has its complexities⌠thereâs⌠spirituality and politics#(although idk if the film is actually that interested in the matter of the separation of church vs state)#thereâs the entire thing about oppressive hierarchal social structures and whether love is possible within such a structure#and if itâs not possible to escape and not possible to love in it then is love even a meaningful concept? is this becketâs issue?#in the dvd commentary peter otoole was so unconcerned with / unaware of a marxist and feminist reading of it that I was baffled#and had to realize that I was seeing that by default but that itâs not like. actually the default or Correct meaning#the co-commentator tries to go down that direction talking about Henryâs mistreatment of Becket and Gwendolen#and then he asks otoole if he thought that was reading into it too much and otoole is like âyes lolâ so .#his take seemed almost existentialist? like the tragedy of henry and thomas is that they are bound to different Roles in the world#and that they simply couldnât be otherwise even though parts of them wanted it to be different#because theyâve chosen different paths different meaning to fulfill (but are aligned in a way by becketâs death/ascension)#and that is definitely a huge aspect of it#becketâs line: âwe must doâabsurdlyâwhat we have been given to doâ#hmm#anyway clearly Iâm fucking insane now so#have this I guess . or donât lol. goodnight#Iâm giving myself a d+ for this tumblr.com paper#becket#peter oâtoole as henry ii cinematic universe
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realized my âsoupâ that i âinventedâ is just. daal. humans will always reinvent the wheel
#stream#like#i guess itâs a stew ?#girl i was thinking âgirl kp [indian friend that taught me what spices to mix & also that u can eat ⌠carbs ⌠e.g. rice lentil whatever ⌠w#literally anything & also raid [ethiopian friend that FORCES ME TO EAT IM NOT EVEN KIDDING heâs so fucking funny like thatâs not even#related to the ethiopian thatâs just being a Normal Person bc itâs usually Not Normal for friends to compare w each other how many times#each have been witness to me literally eating#ALSKALSKALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA I HATE EATING#but raid omg he told me about this ethiopian lentil sauce he tells me how to cook E V E R Y T H I N G & how to SPICE THINGS omg heâs a pro#& he can EXPLAIN & iâm a sponge ⌠infinite inspirations them both] have impacted my cooking irreparablyâ#also this chinese woman who makes short 3 min videos + shorts sometimes that explains everything soooo simply i mean itâs translated#subtitles but sheâs soooo thorough i love her videosssss âcut into ur favourite shape :)â itâs just đđđâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸ MY fav shape ??? i think itâs a#âtoo literal translationâ but i still love it#not the point#i mean yenzhe got me on the chinese cooking immediately bc i just harass him like what are u cooking how did u cook that what did u use#kinggggggg heâs been so SUPPORTIVE & ENABLING đđ ugh miss him when is chinese new year next#or chinese independence whenâs that idk i rly need to see how much it costs to ship shit to china
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not really the type who likes posting their ocs much but here's a Nim :}
#no tags because idk how to tag oc posts- also this account DO just be for saving my art in case my pc ever breaks.#but he's one of my favourite characters i have rn#and the junk hunters in general honestly their dynamic is my favourite.#two old gay men. One (Viktor) who lingers a little on the past but is happy and content as to where he is in the present#the other (Atlas) still mourning his dead mother and having left his abusive home.#A trans girl (Inky) who grew up in a perfectly normal household but became agoraphobic; before being ripped from her home and forced into#outside world#and Nim. someone who grew up in a trash zone with nothing to eat but garbage and is living her best life in the present.#they're literally blorbos from my brain ESPECIALLY the world they're apart of too because GOD i love it so much#What Nim's holding is called a Liabell; most if not all mosnter hunters have them for mobility.#the liabells dont work without a lullader (small-neon glowing stone looking spiders basically) inside. as it uses their incredibly tough we#to pull#but Nim's a cloven (deerways) so she's already got pretty good agility and uses their's for moreso rangling monsters.#i have SUCH a cool scene that I wanna draw (but doesn't fit my style- so i gotta commission it for sure)#where they're standing atop of an elk-like monster#and he's like- spun webs of the liabell around it's horns and its incredibly firey and its night and#GAHH#Nim's liabell isn't even like- purple- his lullader is- the liabell is clear glass with weathering copper when the lullader isnt in it.#I'm so normal about this world and all the races I've made for it. Because simply being a different race means they might use their#tools differently or not need specific ones#for example: I've got one character in my mind that's a possae (something inhabiting another thing basically) and they're a skeleton#with this massive glowing pulsating mass in it's ribcage and its all cowboy motif. (I'm thinking angel posessing it and handing out#their own retrobution in the West Zone)#and basically they use a Liabell similar to Nim but it's a lasso and they have several of them to help tie up more people.
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Both meow meows at once Nishiki and Majima for blorbo bingo
:D So to make things simpler, I indeed answered both at once. Purple is for both, blue is for Nishiki, pink is for Majima.
Can You Tell I'm Not Normal About Them?
#smol responds#akira nishikiyama#goro majima#i worry im being mean with the 'most fandom takes are incorrect' one and i HAVE seen Bad Nishiki Takes#but like i see too many people calling Majima gross or acting like he's genuinely batshit. like the Mad Dog is all he is/who he TRULY is#and idk man he's a Bit More Complex Than That yknow? and i dont put him under the 'has done nothing wrong (is a war criminal)#because a) maybe DONT hit your wife? and b) somehow he's like Kiryu in that he hasnt killed anyone (by that i mean he Definitely Has#but 0 is all about the *weight* of taking another life so yknow what i'll accept it). whereas Nishiki commits several murders onscreen#but the fact is i simply think they were all justified cfgvbhjnkgfvhbjn this Kiwami replay has made me worse#which is why i'd make HIM worse i would encourage the killings#because i would start violently making out with him every time i saw him covered in blood#also whilst your here i went through my 'smol plays yakuza' tag the other day#and i find it funny how my first post about Y0 aka the game about Majima (yknow my wifey and reason for being here) do you know#what my first post about the game is? talking about how pretty Nishiki is. that was it man gfvbhjnkmghbjnkl i was doomed from then#god i love my boys so much i miss them every day
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#I kind of wish they'd given Armand at least one or two clear positive traits but idk maybe they did he just can't actually be#owned to them because he's built up so much SHIT and doubt around himself and towards Louis and tries it also with Daniel it's like#Impossible to say anything positive isn't also negative by association of how it serves to uplift his negative motivations#But I mean just to throw some out there??#I think he's naturally curious and uh... I think he at least wants to try being better?#But its fails miserably because he's so narcissistic and withholds far too much of his intentions and actions#He views a lot of negative traits as positive ones and positive traits as negative when there in contention with himself#I feel he conflates a bunch of things on terms of whats good behavior and bad behavior because he'd been adapted to it that way#He wants to be better but doesn't actually commit to it.#Thats sort of the unfixed sense of self coming in#Armands opinions on things have clearly changed to be diametrically different to what they were 70 years ago#But he also severely avoids owning up to all negative things about himself.#I think one positive trait is that he can regret his actions? He can self reflect.#but I don't think he self reflects enough to see the truth behind his actions or what future actions could have in consequence#Guilts good because then it's not a total lack of empathy there. But he displays it in such a guilt trippy way it becomes negative.#A lot of things about Armand are just like that actually.#His most natural impulse is to simply destroy everything but he loses that impulse if he can love care or wield control over that#I feel he recognizes he cant let such impulses run rampant but then he's just sitting on a mountain of repression to make his self image#appear better than the very very dark shit that's him underneath#These two things can't... integrate properly.#Partly because he's always in the wrong envoirment for it because he can't obtain this through gaining it out of other people actually#I think its disingenuous to say he's in total awareness of his actions as bad and that he's doing all of this to be intentionally harmful.#Even if he is at fault and consequence for them#and like unless there's an outright lie I think a lot of the things he says are things he genuinely believes but they just come into#so much contention with others and their safety and values etc.#But he could just as easily be orchestrating all of this with full awareness and intention. So it's really an interpretational thing.#Most of this is like ... not talking about his positive traits lol. They're there he's just too much of an asshole to get to have them.#Like if I were to place a disorder on him it'd be histrionic narcissist.
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fujimoto is the absolute king of creating a world where mass death is a regular occurrence and yet every single time it feels singularly devastating. i've seen people say his work is nihilistic, that people die over nothing--i profoundly disagree! again and again, it is made clear that the deaths and horrors in chainsaw man aren't random acts of god, and that the people who die aren't random faces in a crowd but people who are willingly sacrificed in the name of social cohesion and the comfort of a few. the people killed by the gun devil all had names, lives, ages that were inescapable and their deaths are just as bad of a tragedy's as aki's. asa's mom's death might have been forgotten by all, and yet it has a profound impact on asa's own life and outlook. the people convinced to commit suicide by falling had long discussions about their everyday life before they fell off their balcony. it is power and nayuta's deaths--people who mattered little to makima and to barem, who were simply seen as tools for an end--that utterly crush denji and awaken pochita. himeno lost her partners, one by one, and every time she got more and more depressed. these are real people, all of them! their lives mattered! death is a normal occurence in chainsaw man, but the loss of a life is a tragedy every time
most importantly; most of these mass death events, as normalized as they are, are not random or natural. they're the result of devils being used as tools, of the powerful using those that they consider belong to them as payment for their comfort or to further their goals. in chapter one, denji got murdered after a lifetime of abuse as payment for his abuser's eagerness for power. the president of the united states pays for the gun devil to fight makima with one year from each american's life. the japanese government pays for makima's every death with the death of a citizen. public safety regularly sends its employees to cut their throats for a devil to wipe out a building. the german government contracted santa claus and gave her children in return. the chainsaw man cult used its desperate, scared child members to gain an army.
and now, foreign children are given citizenship simply so they can be gunned down coldly and used as blood and payment to use chainsaw man and make scared, rich old men live longer. idk how much more explicit you can be here. look at these kids! do their lives mean nothing? they're drawn in loving detail. they're real people being sent to be butchered!
death in chainsaw man isn't meaningless. far from it! this isn't saying "this world is absurd and has no meaning". this is about exploitation. chainsaw man has always been about exploitation and abuse, at its very core. these people mean something. these are real human beings, being fed to the grinder, again and again. they're being fed to it BY the rich and powerful, by their governments, by their employers, by their abusers. hell, yoru has fed her own children to this grinder, just to get a little more. ownership and greed, this is the core of what's happening. this is murder, not random acts of violence!
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IN A WORLD FULL OF BOYS, HEâS A GENTLEMAN ! | TOM BLYTH
PAIRING. tom blyth x fem!actress!reader
SUMMARY. despite being in a world filled of childish boys, your boyfriend was definitely a gentleman, always putting you before him
AUTHORS NOTE. the third installment because we love tom blyth and yn avocot. I recommend reading part 1 and 2 for more context!
tomblyth âbabe, do you think weâre together in every universe?â is that even a question?
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ynuser stoppp i didnât know youd actually take the question seriously
user1 get you a man like tom blyth bc oh my god
user2 idk what yn did to manifest him but i need her ways
user3 ugh idk what heâs doing with her lol he could do so much better
⼠user4 well someone had to say it..
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You didnât understand how some people on the internet can be so . . . mean. Although there have been countless of fans cheering you and Tom on, it didnât make it any less hurtful that there were still a ton who werenât scared to be open about how much your boyfriend could do better.
Itâs ironic; you think. Theyâre claiming theyâre looking out for Tom, yet totally disregarding him and his girlfriend as human beings? Those werenât real fans.
The reason for them hating you so much? Just for simply being with Tom. Everybody wanted him, that was your crime.
Everytime you got lost in your thoughts about this topic, Tom knew. Boyfriend instincts, he called them, but really, he was just a caring and observant person.
You tried not to break down over it, you really did, but a girl could only go on for so long before it all bursts out. Luckily, Tom pulls you right in, telling you to let it all out.
Although the world was filled with childish and hurtful beings, Tom Blyth was still who he was, a gentleman, attending to your every needs.
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tomblyth really dgaf if you like my girlfriend or not cause i do and thatâs all that matters
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user5 im cryinf the polaroid he has of her
user6 YES REAL MEN STAND UP FOR THEIR GFS
user7 ALL THE PICS HE HAS OF HER đĽšđĽš
tomblythswife oh to be yn avocot and be loved by tom blyth
rachelzegler tell âem đ
user8 she doesnât even comment on the posts he makes abt her, so self centered lol
⼠ynuser Iâm right next to him rn?? cant say the same thing about you âlolâ
⼠user9 OH SHE ATE YOU UP @/user8
tomblyth_daily here are some clips of tom talking about his relationship in his new interview! GET YOU A MAN THATS LIKE TOM BLYTH đŁď¸đŁď¸đŁď¸
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user10 the way heâs so passionate when talking about her and being a good boyfriend, God I hate being single
user11 âtheyâre not even that cuteâ STFU AND GO WATCH THIS INTERVIEW CAUSE ??
user12 tom blyth said put aside your nonchalant attitudes, im looking at YOU MEN đŤľđŤľ
ilovetomblyth heâs so boyfriend it actually hurts
user13 yn mustâve saved a continent in her past life to be dating tom blyth omg
ynuser girls, before you have a meltdown over a boy: think of what balleona laurent would do. kiss and manipulate coriolanus!
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tomblyth you kiss and manipulate me too
⼠ynuser youâre gonna get me CANCELLED
user14 literal unbothered icon i love her
user15 if i were her id post a tiktok with that audio âhe chose me he donât want youâ
iloveyn SHES SO FUNNY
lionsgate us when behind the scenes photo of balleona đť
⼠user16 lmao stop whoâs the admin of lionsgate
user17 balleona is such a bad person but oh is she hot
tomblyth she was like a shot of espresso
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ynuser i love u more than words can describe blyth
user18 ok whoâs cutting onions
user19 GIRLS, GUYS, THEY THEMS, STOP SETTLING FOR BARE MINIMUM WHEN TOM BLYTH LITERALLY CALLED HIS GF A SHOT OF ESPRESSO, GIVES HER FLOWERS EVERYDAY, AND TALKS ABT HER ALL THE TIME IN HIS INTERVIEWS
⼠user20 YELL IT HARDER SISTER đđđ
user21 this is so dark academica im inlove with u guys
user22 parentssss
rachelzegler my favorites
ynuser SNOW LANDS ON TOP LOSERS
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tomblyth yn, i love you but
⼠user23 LMFAOO when he doesnât finish his sentence
user24 the second pic thank u yn
joshandresrivera on top of u maybe
⼠user25 IM DYING OML
user26 thank you to lionsgate for casting the most hottest villain couple ever
#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus snow fluff#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow smut#coriolanus snow angst#coriolanus snow fic#tom blyth x reader#tom blyth#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tbosas#the hunger games x reader#the hunger games
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You people are so easy lol
Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesnât do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And itâs just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy whoâs clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesnât know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he canât hide very well cuz itâs literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, itâs really weird. He doesnât even have the slightest clue what heâs doing
And heâs the best parent youâve ever had
Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly donât want you and canât even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you donât know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you youâre not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesnât push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, heâs even kind. He makes you some stew, even though itâs a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain heâd never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though itâs really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. Thereâs this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you arenât related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, heâs secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter
And when you say "Iâm back" he says "welcome home"
#you can just say âdate found familyâ and all the gays will be like WWWWEEEWOWOOWOEOWOOOOWWOOOOO#and its correct every time im one of them#these bitches are sickening absolutely sickening#i dont think i said anything too special here like nothing no ones said 50 times before already but i do wanna emphasize something here#date is a good dad he is a kind figure he cares for mizuki and puts in effort that her bio parents simply dont#i feel like with a mix of flanderization between fans and aini date is just remembered as an incompetent loser who jerks off and thats that#and its like yeah hes lame and makes penis jokes its stupid but i mean hes a pretty complex character#hes the protagonist of a mystery story and the center of the whole conflict and like is a smart guy#and he has big feelings like the whole theme is about love and untraditional families and date being kinda a loser is the point#its about redemption and love being what keeps us going and how someone who feels he is undeserving of love and family can still have those#things and the traditional structure of families means nothing#the okiuras being a nuclear heterosexual biological family is very much the point and them being so dysfunctional is the point#and the fact that date is a significantly better parent to mizuki than they are is something neither of them know how to deal with#because theyre taught that you have to stick to the script and whatever they have going on isnt allowed to be real and loving#and idk the fact that date is someone whos always had nothing and feels like thats how it should stay its like#that some pretty big shit right there some pretty complex emotions to have and yeah if i gotta deal with date being reduced to a porno freak#who is too irresponsible to take care of a child im gonna eat glass#it really sucks they went that direction in aini god it sucks so hard its like did they even pay attention to their own fucking story ughhh#yeah im writing the Kaname date defense case what about it
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Welcome to the Party
Summary: whatâs worse than your older brother?âŚ..his extremely attractive best friend
an: this Ellie has been living rent fucking free in my head and I absolutely cannot carry on any longer without writing about herâŚ..also my last Ellie fic was sickly sweet I need some mean!Ellie to soothe the burn đ (also credit to @absdoll for writing Ellie as someone who listens to PartyNextDoor?? That is a HUGE reason that inspired me to write this bc that is absolutely so very accurate)
Warnings: SMUT!!! MDNI!!! 18+ ONLY!!, angst!, toxic!Ellie, mean!Ellie, brothersbestfriend!Ellie, Ellie is just all around a piece of shit in this one idk, oral (r!receiving), mentions of alcohol, mentions of weed, Usage of the word slut, slight degradation, thereâs a brief scene with reader and Jesse but they arenât flirting I promise Ellie is just delusional, pls lmk if I missed anything!
âPlease honeybee? Itâll only be for a little while. Your father and I will be back before you know it, just in time for you to go back with your friendsâ your mothers voice rang through the phone, her tone gentle and reassuring as she spoke to you.
You exhaled loudly in annoyance, toying with the hem of your sleep shorts as you laid in your bed, a soft pout on your face as you stayed silent for a moment, contemplating your motherâs wish.
âBaby? Are you there?â She tried. You can practically hear the way she bites her lip, chewing on the skin as she awaited your response.
âIâŚ.you do realize that Derek is the oldest sibling, right? Isnât he supposed to be the one making sure Iâm not getting in trouble?â You huff out, still holding out on giving her an answer to her request of you.
You hear her sigh over the line at the mention of your older brother. âI know sweetheartâŚbut your father and I just need you to make sure he doesnât burn the house down while weâre away. Iâm sure itâll only be him and Ellie there anywaysâ she tries assuring you.
But the mention of the girls name has your skin running cold.
It makes you pinch the bridge of your nose, inhaling deeply as you truly try to outweigh your options at hand.
Your brother was a fucking moron, and you knew that the minute he heard your parents were going away for the summer, he jumped at the opportunity to âhouse sitâ. It was almost comedic how clueless he was, your parents knowing your older sibling far too well to know that heâd tear the house down brick by brick unsupervised, especially with his partner in crime there with him.
So it left your poor mother to ask her baby (you), to stay the summer at their house, just to make sure things didnât get too out of hand.
The minute she called and asked you to go down there, your entire summer had changed. All of the plans you made with your friends at university, the trips you were to make with them, all suddenly fizzled out as you were faced with the task to spend the summer with your idiotic brother and his bully of a best friend.
As much as you wanted to say no, tell your parents to figure it out or simply tell your brother he couldnât stay there for his break, you simply couldnât find it in yourself to do that. Your parents were amazing to say the least, and the one time they actually chose to go away for the summer in one of the first times since you were born, youâd feel like an absolute villain to take that away from them.
You let out a low sigh before you finally spoke. âIâll be there momâŚ.you wonât have to worry about anythingâ you assured her, the sound of her sighing in relief putting a gentle smile on your face.
âOh baby you are an angel. Your father and will come home as soon as we can, okay?â She assures you, to which you give a gentle chuckle before you nod.
âHave fun, okay? Tell daddy I said hiâŚI love youâ you mumble out gently through the phone, bidding your goodbye to the woman before you hang up, letting out a loud sigh youâd seemingly been holding from the moment your mother asked you to go back home for the summer.
And as you stared up at your ceiling, you began to really think about it all. How bad could it possibly be?? It wasnât like you were all kids still, there was no way Ellie and your brother would torment you the same way they used to when you were all younger, not when you were all adults in college, right?
Right?
You let out a soft sigh as you drove down the familiar road to your parents house, the street quiet as everyone there had similar situations to your mother and father, empty nesters who had time to get away for the summer.
Pulling into the driveway gives you a bit of relief, as you notice your brother hadnât gotten there yet, which you could only chalk up to him and Ellie waking up entirely too late after a night of partying to get to the house at a decent time.
Some things just never changed do they?
Your brother and Ellie had been friends since elementary school, the two of them glued at the hip for almost as long as you could remember. While you really couldnât stand the two of them, you had to say the perseverance of their friendship was kind of remarkable. You couldnât take their bond away from them, no one could.
One day the house was only filled with your parents and your older sibling, the next thereâs an extra person.
Ellie.
Things were fine in the beginning, the three of you would actually play all together for the most part. Sure, they would tease you and leave you out of certain things, but thatâs what older siblings did. You were no stranger to the little sister treatment.
Things changed when they got to high school though.
The two of them started a year before you obviously, leaving you behind in middle school. Youâd been through it with the transition from elementary to middle school, so you werenât too worried. In fact, having the two of them enrolled before you was comforting in a way. It at least gave you a sense of belonging since you knew at least two people there.
But oh were you wrong.
Because in true teenage boy fashion, who the hell would want their little sister trailing behind them? No your brother and Ellie were far too cool for that, the two of them already the talk of the entire school, everyone wanting to be their friend. It was always like that, the dynamic duo absolutely stealing the hearts of everyone around them. They simply couldnât have you asking for help on where your classes were, or even worse, having you eat lunch with them.
You werenât even given the cold shoulder, they were just outright mean. Your brother wasnât so bad, brushing you off and telling you to go somewhere else.
But Ellie? Oh she was vile.
Sheâd say the meanest things to get you to leave, laughing under her breath whenever youâd pass by, sheâd even go out of her way to make her entire friend group ignore you for a week, pretending you didnât exist at all.
Yeah, high school is when things got really bad.
You have up on keeping the familiar sibling bond you had with your brother rather quickly during your time in high school with him, ignoring the both of them when they were around, only really interacting with him whenever Ellie wasnât with him, which was extremely rare.
Soon, you were going off to university, and you were able to live a life that wasnât in your cool older brotherâs shadow. You were able to be you, and thrive in a way that you really werenât able to before.
You loved college for that.
But now you were back home where it all started, without the protection of mommy and daddy on top of that too.
You groaned softly as you finally brought the last of your things up to your room, sighing softly as you looked around at the familiar space, thinking about just how much time youâd be spending there for the next month and however many weeks.
You were almost done filling your empty drawers with your clothes when you heard the familiar roar of your brotherâs black Jeep pull up the driveway outside, a familiar brunette sat in the passenger seat.
The plan was to steer clear of them entirely while you were all there. You were only there for your moms peace of mind, and you truthfully did not care what Ellie and your brother got up to for the summer, as long as it meant your parents house stayed in tact.
However once youâre finished packing and you decide to make your way downstairs to get a feel for things before they both arrive (or so you thought), you were only met with the sound of your brother and Ellie complaining very loudly as they walk in through the front door.
âI told you I donât know! My dad said it was cool if we crashed here, they didnât mention anything about her being here too.â Derek groans loudly, lugging his suitcase in behind him, unknowing of your presence stood in the very kitchen that he was walking in to.
You turn your head to catch the two of them walking in, your brother sighing in defeat as Ellie groans loudly behind him, throwing her head back in annoyance. âDo you know how much of a fuckinâ cock block sheâs gonna be? I swear to god if she tries to so much as complain about the shit weâre having Iâm gonna-â you watch as your brother jabs his elbow into Ellieâs side, trying to get her to shut up once he spots you in the kitchen.
You roll your eyes as you close the fridge door shut. âItâs nice to see you too Ellieâ you sigh out softly as you turn around, resting your forearms against the island counter top, leaning your hips against the edge as you watch the both of them eye you expectantly, your best guess being they wanted an explanation.
âWhat are you doing here?â Your brother mumbles out awkwardly, arms crossing over his chest as he gives neglects to even greet you properly.
You sigh softly before you shrug. âMom called me and asked me to make sure you guys didnât do anything stupid. Trust me, Iâm just as upset as you are that Iâm hereâ you mumble out, eyes casting downwards as your fingers trace along the pattern of the smooth counter top.
Ellie scoffs softly, mimicking your brotherâs stance as her tattooed arms go to cross over her chest as well. âIs this some kind of sick joke? What are you even supposed to do anyways? Keep us in line or something?â Ellie barks out, obviously annoyed and wounded over the fact that your parents didnât trust her.
You have to hold back a laugh, biting down on your bottom lip as you give her a shrug. âThatâs something you gotta take up with the owner of the house, which unfortunately for you is not my brotherâ you hum out, your tone a tad playful as you give your brother a knowing look before rounding the table.
âYour summer is gonna be fine. In all honesty I couldnât give a single fuck what you two do, just do it without breaking anything.â you explain, your tone softer as you eye Ellie for a moment.
You had to bite back a smirk when you caught a glimpse of their faces. Your brother was shocked with the way you were acting, his eyebrows raised and jaw slightly agape as you made your way upstairs.
Ellie on the other hand? She looked like she wanted to kill someone. Here you were, her best friends little sister, practically granting her entire summer a death sentence by your presence, at least thatâs what it felt like. Her eyebrows were furrowed, nostrils flared, and you swore you could even catch her freckled cheeks growing pink with the anger that bubbled up inside of her.
And to be quite honest? It felt good.
Ellie was being ruthless
While you couldnât say you didnât expect it, you didnât think it would be this bad. You of course knew that theyâd be upset about you being there, but your brotherâs reaction to the entire thing was much closer to what you prepared for than what Ellie was exhibiting. He was confused to say the least, but that didnât mean he was rude to you. It was the same as any other time you and your brother were with each other, you werenât close by any means, but you were his little sister.
Ellie on the other hand? She was like a bat out of hell.
You thought when they first got there, that would be the only time youâd get a taste of Ellieâs annoyance with your presence. You were adults after all, and there was no way sheâd make your entire stay there a living hell, even when you werenât the one that had the bright idea of staying there anyways.
Oh were you wrong.
That same night, you decided to make somewhat of a peace offering. You were honest in your words to them earlier, you didnât have any interest in raining on their parade. Ruining their summer did little to nothing for you, even if they went out of their way to taunt and tease you when you were a kid, you didnât dwell on any of that.
You prided yourself as somewhat of a good cook. You took over meals once you were old enough to stand at the stove without your parents doting over you, begging you to not burn yourself. Once you passed that hurdle, you all came to the realization that you were pretty good in the kitchen. You could even recall certain times where Ellie and your brother would ask you to make something for them, further proving your skills.
So while they were both in the front yard playing basketball, you knew theyâd work up an appetite once they came inside. You took it upon yourself to start working on something with what your parents had in the fridge.
You were far too lost in thought once you got into it, humming softly to yourself as you stirred up what you were working on in a pan. You barely heard your brother and Ellie walk in together, chucking to each other at something Ellie was saying. The two were engulfed in the aroma of your yummy cooking the second they walked in, watching as you worked your way around the kitchen to cook something up for the two of them.
âYou cooked?â Your brother asks curiously, moving to rest his forearms on the island as he watched you.
You hummed softly as you nodded, keeping your eyes on the various pots on the stove. âThere wasnât much in the fridge, so Iâll have to go food shopping tomorrow maybeâŚbut I figured youâd both be hungryâ you finally turn around, giving them both a half smile.
Your brother nodded, seemingly opening his mouth to thank you for the kind gesture, his stomach already grumbling for a taste of whatever it was that you were cooking, all of it smelling ten times better than anything heâd been eating for the past two years at college.
But Ellie was quick to cut him off, eyebrows furrowed as she gave you a death stare so intense, it was a miracle you hadnât keeled over from it alone.
âWeâre going out to eatâ she deadpanned, her tone firm and harsh.
It makes you turn around fully after lowering all the spots on the stove, grabbing the kitchen towel you kept nearby and drying your hands off, your hips resting against the kitchen counter as you watched them.
Your brother frowned as he looked up at Ellie in confusion, the man clearly not have gotten the memo.
âWeâŚare?âŚ.but you were just saying how tired-â He mumbled out softly before Ellie landed a hard jab to his side with her elbow, making your brother quickly shut his mouth, getting her message loud and clear.
Ellie didnât want anything from you.
You inhaled deeply, fighting back the urge to stoop down to her level, no matter how much it stung that she was doing this out of spite, simply over something that was asked of you.
âThatâsâŚthatâs fine. I hope you guys have funâ you gave them a nod and a soft smile before you turned around to continue working on the food that youâd be eating alone.
Ellieâs angry expression softened into a frown when you didnât fight back, fully expecting you blow up and make her seem like the victim whoâs getting her summer ruined by some fucking she-demon or something. But you didnât, you simply bid them a good time and turned around to busy yourself with whatever you were doing.
Your brother frowned as he watched you turn around, already feeling bad for not only leaving you alone for the night, but making you eat alone felt even worse.
But Ellie was already scoffing, mumbling softly to your brother to come upstairs with her so they could get changed and leave so they could get something to eat, her eyes lingering on you angrily as she stomped upstairs like a child.
You spent that night alone, eating your dinner with a glass of wine, showering and watching a movie downstairs, silently hoping the pair would have a change of heart and walk through to spend the night with you, acting as a way to kick off the summer on a better note than it was already starting off on.
But they never did. You ended up doing all of that and more and they still didnât get home. You decided to simply send your brother a quick text letting them know youâd leave the porch light on and to get home safe before you went to bed.
That wasnât the end of Ellieâs little scheme of being terrible to you. No, that was honestly only the beginning.
The second time of her being mean was about a week later. You managed to stay clear of the both of them for a few days, busying yourself with getting the house situated for yours, Ellie and your brothers stay. You got a good amount of things done, groceries, laundry, getting your car through the car wash. You even picked up a dozen bagels from yours and your brotherâs favorite bakery in the city nearby, knowing how much him and Ellie would appreciate them for breakfast, even if you knew sheâd bitch once she knew you bought them.
But once all of those chores were done, you found that youâd started to run out of things to keep you occupied. There was no more laundry to do, no more groceries to buy, nothing more for you to tend to that would keep you away from the house.
You were bored out of your mind.
You sighed softly as you laid in your bed, staring up at your ceiling as you toyed with the hem of your denim shorts. You were contemplating what to do, how to entertain yourself in the confides of your bedroom. It was hard because Ellie and Derek spent almost all of their time in the living room, leaving you to either do things outside of the house, or stay in your room.
It made you sad, because you wouldnât have this problem had you stayed at Uni. You wouldâve been outside with your friends, at parties, restaurants, bars. Anything that there was to offer in the city, youâd be there.
Another huff passed through your lips, your arms moving down to rest against your pillow. You were beginning to get desperate, your mind void of any ideas to keep yourself occupied.
You sat up, looking towards your door for a moment before you looked back down at your hands in your lap, your mind falling deep in thought before you finally let out a sigh. You felt ridiculous, forcing yourself to be a prisoner in your own home for your own comfort. Ellie didnât even fucking live here, this was your parents house and you deserved to walk around as you pleased!
So you finally tossed your legs over the edge of your bed, and opened your door to go downstairs.
The second your room door was open, you could hear Derek and Ellie downstairs, the two of them laughing and shouting at each other. As you walked down the stairs, you could hear the sounds of their video game playing through the speakers, paired with the sound of their fingers harshly clicking down on the buttons of their game controllers.
Video games sounded fun.
You hummed softly as you watched them from the bottom of the stairs for a moment before you walked into the living room, simply watching the two hunched over, completely locked in on their current match.
âDonât fuckinâ push by yourself youâre gonna die. Lemme just heal really quickâ you hear Ellie groan out to your brother.
âIâm good! Iâm good I got thisâ your brothers words follow, a blanket of silence falls between the two of them, only to hear your brother and Ellie groan loudly in unison, followed by Ellie sucking her teeth in annoyance.
âI told you not to fucking-â her words are cut short when she notices you in the corner of her eye, the girl deflating as she slouches back into the couch, her eyes back on the screen.
âGreatâŚâ she mumbles out, which you try your best to ignore before taking a spot on the opposite end of the couch, tucking your legs underneath yourself as you nod towards the tv.
âHow many have you guys won so far?â You hum out softly.
Your brotherâs eyes donât leave the tv screen as he responds, fingers already clicking away at his controller the second Ellie managed to resurrect him in the game. âA good amountâŚespecially when Ellieâs here to save my assâ he grins out, which earns an annoyed sigh from Ellie.
You hum softly as you nod, watching as their characters run around on the split screen, the two of them looting and taking out other players as the number of people in the game grows lower and lower, waiting until the game was almost over.
âCould you guys use a third?â You ask softly after clearing your throat, eyes still glued to the screen as you watch them play.
Derek licks his lips as he continues playing, his eyes quickly shifting over to Ellie for a moment to gauge her reaction to your question before he responds.
You and him would play video games all the time together, and there were even times where all three of you would play together. Sure, theyâd do petty shit like leave your character in the storm to die when you needed help or made sure your controller was close to dying, but theyâd at least let you play from time to time.
However, Ellie was quick to speak up and give you a response.
âNo. Youâre shit at this gameâ Ellie quickly responds, pink tongue sticking out of her mouth as she concentrates on the game.
While you can tell sheâs not joking, her words make your brother chuckle softly as he gives her a gentle nudge. âIâm sure one game is fine? Watching her play will be kind of funny to be honestâ he tried, yet Ellie wouldnât budge.
She shook her head firmly. âNah. Sheâs gonna fuck up our winning streak. Werenât you upstairs anyway? Why did you even come down hereâŚ.go back upâ her eyes finally break away from the screen once the game was finished, looking over at you and nodding her head up towards the stairs.
And while Ellie would sometimes chase you away when she was over, it was always in good fun. Sure she was a dick to you but this?
This was so different.
It makes you choke up a bit, eyes widening at her words before you look at your brother, silently begging for him to defend you from the girls mean words.
But he doesnât, he clears his throat, avoiding your eyes and grabbing his own phone to scroll through it so he wouldnât have to be put into the awkward situation of getting between his sister and his best friend.
It makes you inhale deeply before you silently get up from the couch, slip past the two of them, and make your way back upstairs like Ellie told you to, your throat burning with hot tears as you tried your best to hide them from the pair on the couch.
Your brother finally looked up when you slipped passed the two of them, a soft sigh leaving his lips as he eyed Ellie. âI know sheâs annoying butâŚthat was kind of fucked up manâ he mumbles out softly, his eyes lingering on Ellie for a moment only to watch her shrug, her eyes never leaving the screen.
âShut up. She wouldnât leave unless I was meanâŚâ she mumbled out nonchalantly, which makes your brother sigh softly, turning his head back to the screen and starting another game.
You realized that this wasnât a game. This was Ellie being awful to you for the sole fact that you were staying there and being a âcock blockâ, and in her book? That was more than enough of a reason to take her anger out on you.
It made you take one look at your bedroom when you finally got upstairs, tears in your eyes, when you realized that you had to get quite comfortable there, seeing as youâd be spending far more time locked up than you thought you would have.
You managed to avoid Ellie and your brother for the remainder of the week, for real this time. You had no interest in being around them or spending any time with them, not since Ellie made it very clear that she wanted nothing to do with you, and you were the bane of her very existence.
You decided that they could spend their summer like they wanted to, without you there.
Any time you needed something from downstairs, youâd either go and get it extremely early in the morning or late enough at night so that they wouldnât be there, which was hard sometimes since theyâd spend almost the entire night downstairs, drinking beers and eating snacks until they were too tired to go in anymore.
Tonight was different though.
Because tonight was the first Saturday of the summer, which meant anyone and everyone was looking towards your brother and Ellie for a party to kick things off. You knew theyâd do it of course, but you knew it was actually happening once you could hear the faint noise of the two of them setting up downstairs, paired with the roaring sound of your brothers Jeep pulling in and out of the driveway, making multiple runs to the store for last minutes things for the party.
And your plan for the night? You were going to shower early to avoid any awkward drunk run-ins, take a melatonin, lock your room door, and fall asleep with your noise canceling headphones underneath a mountain of blankets. While it would be nice to let loose and party for a night, you wouldnât dare even ask them if you could attend, already knowing Ellie would have quite the mean words in store if you tried that.
On the bright side, this all meant you were responsible for the clean up in the morning.
You let out a soft sigh as you tugged on a pair of sleep shorts and an oversized t shirt, moving to grab your bottle of melatonin gummies before you moved to sit on the bed, wanting to wind down a bit before bed.
Right as you were about to take your vitamin and lock your door though, you heard a gentle knock, making you frown as you looked over at it. Surly the party hadnât started yet? Did you seriously have to put a note on your door to alert drunk idiots that your room was off limits for hook ups?
You frowned before calling out. âGo away! There are other rooms!â You called out loud enough, hoping that whoever was on the other side would get the memo.
Instead, you hear the knob turn, the door creaking open as your brother peaks his head in, making you sigh in relief.
âOhâŚI thought you were some idiot party-goerâ you explain as you scrunch your nose at the mere thought of it before you unscrew the top to your bottle. âWhat are you doing here? You have a party to hostâ you explain before you look up at him, only to find his eyes wandering your bedroom before he shrugs.
âWanted to check on youâŚmake sure youâre okayâ he explains before he finally looks down at you, nodding towards the bottle of melatonin in your hand. âGoing to bed already?â He asks, which you nod to.
âYupâŚtrying to get a heard start before the noise sets inâ you hum out softly before you bring one of the gummies to your lips.
Your brother quickly speaks up before you can take it. âYou should come downâŚfor a little bit. Itâll be funâ he quickly gets out before you eat it. He knew the moment you took it, youâd be lulled away to sleep, and there was no chance in him reconciling with you tonight.
Because in all honesty, he felt horrible for the way Ellie had been treating you. Not only did he fear youâd tell your parents (he knew you wouldnât), but he also felt like he was being a shit big brother for not standing up for you, even if he knew that you knew it was a tricky situation since Ellie was his best friend.
Your shoulders slump at his words, giving your brother an unamused look.
âYour friend wouldnât even let me play video games with you. Do you seriously think sheâd allow me to come down tonight l?â You groan out softly before you shake your head, bringing the gummy to your lips once again. âIâm gonna go to bed. I donât have time for either of youâ you sigh softly.
Your eyes widen when your brother steps forward and slaps the gummy from your hand. âWhat the hell Derek??â You shriek out, which only makes him groan in annoyance.
âItâll be fun! And Ellie will be too drunk or high or both to even notice youâre thereâŚâ he whines out like a child, which makes you roll your eyes.
A blanket of silence falls between the both of you as you think about it, weighing out the pros and the cons of going downstairs and joining everyone, risking the chance of Ellie blowing up on you the second she sees you there, assuming youâre attending for the sole purpose of shutting down her fun.
Derek sighs softly as he moves to sit down next to you on your bed. âIâve been a shitty older brotherâŚand you deserve to have fun this summer tooâ he hums out softly before he leans over, nudging your shoulder gently with his.
âCome onâŚitâll be funâ he urges once more, and it reminds you of when you were both kids, your brother slowly turning into the person that you recognized rather than the person he was whenever he was around Ellie or his other friends.
You finally sigh out softly before looking over at him, giving him a slight nod. âIâll change and come down once I hear the music start playingâŚIâm sure that gives her enough time to get her drunk goggles onâ you hum out playfully as you refer to Ellie.
Your brother smiles brightly, his mimicking your own before he nods. âYouâre gonna have funâ he affirms once more before he gets up to leave your bedroom, closing the door behind him so he could get downstairs and finish setting up.
A soft sigh leaves your lips as you look down at your clothes, frowning at the faded band t shirt paired with the frayed ends of your old sleep shorts.
You needed to change.
It wasnât long until you could hear the faint sound of the loud music booming through the house, paired with the various cars that slowly started piling up in your driveway and along the side of the ride in front of your house, the party guests making their way to your place like clockwork.
You had changed into a pair of baggy blue jeans that hung low on your waist, and a simple white tank top hugged your curves in a way that looked like you put in way more effort that you actually did, wanting to keep things comfortable enough that you could slip out of it the second you wanted to dessert the place for the safe haven that was your bedroom.
The party was in fully swing by the time you made your way downstairs, a person filling up everyone single space as music blasted loudly throughout the entire place. You inhaled deeply, slipping past the growing sea of people to get to the kitchen, and get a drink.
Your eyes scanned the space as you stayed leaned up against the counter, red solo cup pressed against your lips as you babysat the mixture of liquid and soda, people watching as everyone around you became acquainted with one another, your drink making you grow warmer and warmer with each passing second.
Like a stroke of luck, you catch an empty spot on the once full couch. It makes you sigh in relief, once again slipping past the bodies in your house to catch it before someone else does, which you thankfully do. You plop down onto it, bringing your cup to your lips as you rest your head against the back of the couch.
You didnât even realize how drunk you were until Jesse, one of your brotherâs old friends plops down next to you with a loud sigh. The second he was next to you, the strong smell of weed was filling up your lungs, you swore you felt the tiniest bit high from the smell alone.
âIf I so much as smell a blunt, your tv is gonna grow legs and start walking awayâ he groaned out, making you stifle a laugh.
The sound catches his attention, the man turning his head to look at you, his hazy expression slowly tugging into a smile.
âNooo way. I remember you! Youâre Derekâs little sisterâ he gasps out, which makes you hold back a laugh before you nod.
âI am in fact his sisterâ you confirm.
To be frankly honest, youâd known Jesse since high school. He was pretty close with Ellie and Derek, he was actually the only one out of the group of gremlins that was actually kind to you whenever they were all around. However he was currently so far gone, he could barely remember that you two already knew each other.
âMaaan I havenât seen you in so long! He didnât tell me youâd be hereâ he chuckles softly, bringing his hands to his face as he groans softly.
âIâmâŚIâm sorry Iâm so high right now. I can barely thinkâ he apologizes, the man visibly melting into the couch as he lets his hands fall down beside him, staring off into space.
You giggle softly as you shake your head, bringing your cup to your lips as you take another sip of your drink. âYouâre fine JesseâŚthe companies niceâ you nod before you rest your head back against the back of the couch, allowing Jesse to carry on with his belligerent complaints.
You were so consumed with Jesseâs rather entertaining word vomit, that you barely noticed a certain someone eyeing you from the other side of the couch.
Ellie had been there the entire time, too high and too drunk (like your brother said sheâd be) to even notice you had taken a spot at the end of the couch. It also didnât help that she had her current summer fling splayed across her lap, her lips pressed to the girls mouth as they practically swallowed each otherâs faces whole.
And she wouldnât have noticed you either, had it not been for the familiar sound of your giggle ringing through her ear, barely audible over the sound of the loud music booming through the house.
At first she thought she was hearing things, ignoring the noise and carrying on with working her tongue against the girlâs against her. However the second time she heard it, it was paired with a low groan that she could only recognize as Jesseâs, and once she heard that? She had no choice but to break her lips away from the girls, instead allowing her to work her lips against her neck.
The image of your head resting against the back of the couch, looking up at Jesse as his face seemingly lays inches away from yours, your eyes twinkling in the dim light of the room, the edge of your solo cup resting against your pouty bottom lip as you listen intently at whatever Jesse is sayingâŚ
Makes Ellie want to punch a fucking hole in the wall.
Because what the fuck is Jesse doing talking to Derekâs little sister? Why the fuck does he think itâs okay to make you laugh that way when everyone knows youâre off limits? The unspoken rule being something everyone had to followâŚ
No matter how pretty you got as you grew up.
Ellie suddenly canât pay any attention to the pretty girl on her lap, her grip on the girls hips tightening with anger as she watches you smile lazily at Jesse, the drink in your cup clearly making you far too soft and pliable to be talking to someone like Jesse.
Thereâs suddenly a fire burning in her, one that begs for you to look up and see what sheâs doing, see that she has a girl on her lap that isnât you. She wants you to see her kissing the girl, gripping her hips and positioning her however she pleases.
Ellie feels the need to make you jealous
But you never do. Ellie watches the both of you for what feels like an eternity, and you donât once look up and lock eyes for her, not even for a second. Sheâs sure youâre obvious to the fact that sheâs even there, far too consumed with whatever the fuck it was that Jesse was telling you, which couldnât be anything good of course, it was Jesse of all people.
The girl on her lap is getting antsy, tugging at the bottom of Ellieâs shirt, slipping her hand underneath it to run along the skin of her hips, lips itching up her skin to get back to Ellieâs mouth, anything to have the attention that has suddenly been locked into something else.
Ellie doesnât budge of course, her stone cold gaze stuck on you across the chair, a few feet away from her as Jesse chats you up,
She doesnât even know why sheâs staring. She canât pin point why seeing you do something as simple as talk to someone else makes her blood boil to the point where she feels fucking light headed. All she knows is that she canât take her eyes off of you, not when your attention is so dead set on someone else.
The girl on Ellieâs neck whines softly, her hand coming up to grip Ellieâs chin, pulling her down to finally lock lips with her. It makes Ellie groan, and to the girl it probably sounded like a groan of approval, a sign that Ellie liked that she was taking what she wanted from her. In reality, it was Ellie being fucking annoyed.
Ellie kisses her hard, trying her best to shut her up and keep her satisfied so she can break away and keep an eye on you.
You sigh softly, lifting your head a bit to turn and look down into your cup, noticing it had become empty in the span of talking to Jesse. While doing that, you realized how drunk you had gotten from the drink you made, a lazy giggle leaving your lips as you shook your head towards Jesse.
âIâmâŚway too drunkâŚI need to go to bedâ you sigh out, resting your hand Jesseâs thigh as you give him a gentle pat. âTry to sober up before you go home if you do end up leavingâŚ.was nice seeing you Jesseâ you smile at him, only receiving a soft groan of agony before he lazily waved you off, making you giggle softly before you got up off the couch, stumbling a bit before making your way around it to go upstairs.
As you round the corner, oblivious to Ellieâs presence, you donât at all notice the way her eyes trail your path even as her lips work angrily against the girl in her lap.
Or the way she breaks the kiss once youâre out of view, pushing the girl off her lap as her legs begin carrying her up to follow you. âIâll be right backâŚâ she mumbles out to the girl, completely ignoring the way she scoffs once she realizes Ellie was following another girl.
She slips past the crowd of people as she trails close behind you, watching as you fail to even realize the way certain eyes follow your path, eyes that donât belong to her, eyes that have filthy thoughts behind them, only fueling her anger further.
Itâs like a shark stalking their prey. Youâre a dumb, innocent little fish with not a care in the world, happily swimming around other little seat creatures as an apex predator slowly sticks onto your tail, following you to your demise. Youâre bouncing around, giggling softly as you stumble over your own feet, so stupid from the liquor you had, youâd barely even noticed Ellie was following you.
Soon, youâre up the stairs and in front of your bedroom door. You reached up, standing on your toes to get to the little key you left on the top of your door after you locked it before going downstairs, ensuring no one would so much as think to use your bed as a hook up station.
You opened it up, sighing softly as you closed it behind you, moving over to your drawer to grab the pajamas you had folded earlier, wanting nothing more to change into them and get some much needed sleep now that the alcohol had settled in and warmed up your entire system.
Ellie hears you humming softly to yourself as she opens up your door. She isnât even entirely sure what her motive is with this, why she felt the need to follow you all the way up to your room, and to on top of that walk in. It wasnât like you were in any sort of danger, you werenât out on the street late at night all alone, or even at a party at a strangers house. You were a smart girl, even going as far as to lock your door before and after leaving to go downstairs.
Not smart enough to lock it before Ellie could come in though.
You frown softly when you hear your door open, fully prepared to start screaming for your brother the second some creep tried to come in to your room.
You donât have to though, because the second you realize that itâs Ellie standing at your door and not some fucking weirdo, you let out a small sigh of relief.
Which quickly turns into panic once you realize that itâs Ellie standing in your doorway.
âEllie? What are you doing here?â You question the girl, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you let out a soft sigh.
You can hear it already, the way Ellie is gearing up to degrade and berate you for even thinking it was okay to come out of your room and down to the party. You mentally prepare yourself for the nasty things sheâll say, for the way sheâll go above and beyond to ensure you never even think to come down and attend another one of hers and your brothers parties ever again.
But she doesnât speak, not immediately at least.
You watch as she crosses her arms over her chest, tattooed forearms making her look all the more intimidating. Her eyes roam your bedroom as she slowly steps in to take in more of the space after she closes your door behind her.
âItâs nice in hereâŚyou shouldâve stayed putâŚwould have worked out better for youâ she hums out, her tone a bit too casual for the bite that her words manage to get out of you.
It makes you sigh softly, bringing your hand up to rub against your forehead before you speak up. âIt was Derekâs idea, okay? And I was barely even down there. I didnât even talk to anyoneâ you explain to the girl.
She raises her eyebrows, green eyes settling on you as she watches you in surprise.
âDidnât talk to anyone hm? Then what the fuck were you doing with Jesse? Huh?â She barks out, the level of her voice making you flinch.
If you were confused before, this has you in shambles. Your frown deepens as your eyebrows furrow, watching the girl before you quickly speak up to defend yourself.
âWith Jesse? Ellie IâŚwe talked for maybe thirty minutes? And all he was telling me was how much he was greening out IâŚare you serious right now??â You shriek out, watching as the girl slowly made her way towards you.
She ignores your explanation. âDo you know how fucking desperate you look? Clinging on to mine and Derekâs friends?â She spits out, her tone growing angrier and more vile with each word she utters.
And sheâs getting closer to you the more she speaks too.
âItâs fuckinâ pathetic. Youâre fucking pathetic. Donât you get tired of this? Isnât this boring to you?â She questions, tone dripping with annoyance and anger as she keeps going, keeps pushing you.
You donât think youâve ever seen her like this. Sheâs fuming with something you donât recognize and it makes your eyes widen, lips parting slightly as you try to find the words to say before they quickly close once she continues on with her nasty words.
Thatâs wide eyed look on your face lights a fire under Ellie that tells her to keep going.
Sheâs right in front of you now, her nose inches away from yours as she lets out an unamused chuckle, a soft smirk on her face.
âYouâre such a fucking slutâŚyou know that? Begging for attention from your brotherâs friendsâŚ.â She hums out softly, her pink tongue slipping out of her mouth to wet her lips slowly. You can barely stop yourself from your eyes shifting down to watch the way she does it, only earning a soft chuckle from the girl.
âDid you go to him because you saw I was busy baby? Is that it?â Her tone is still taunting you, but itâs softer, her voice barely above a whisper.
Suddenly you feel her strong hands snake their way around your waist, pulling you slowly but harshly against her body, making you gasp softly at the sudden and foreign feeling of her body pressed against yours, all of it consuming you too much to even register what it was she was accusing you of.
Her eyes are taking in your features. Your eyes, your nose, your lips, as if she were silently begging you for something you couldnât completely give her, something more.
âIf you wanted me, all you had to do was askâ she sighs out softly.
And itâs like you arenât even there anymore, because once she says that, her lips are pressed against yours in a hot, needy kiss.
Your eyes widened at the feeling of her lips on yours. For a minute you even questioned if you were dreaming, because surly there was no world where this would be happening, one in which Ellie would be kissing you.
You gasped out softly, trying to break away from the girl to ask what exactly it was that she was doing, but she only takes this as an advantage to slip her tongue into your mouth.
The feeling of her wet tongue against yours has you melting, your eyes fluttering shut as suddenly any and all questions and concerns you previously had disappear from your head, the only thought present being how good it felt to have Ellie kissing you.
You finally get a moment to speak when you feel Ellie break the kiss so that her lips could trail down your throat, licking and sucking your skin as her hands grip your hips tightly, fingers rubbing against the exposed skin between the hem of your shirt and the top of your jeans.
âEllieâŚwhat are youâŚâ you manage to get out between moans, enjoying the feeling of the means girls lips against your throat far too much.
âShut upâŚjust shut the fuck upâŚâ her words are muffled against your skin.
You can feel her walking you back towards your bed, allowing her to push you back onto it and crawl over your body once youâre both there. Thatâs when her lips attach themselves back onto yours, her hand coming down to skillfully unbutton your jeans, which gives her a chance to cup your pussy, feeling your arousal soaked panties.
She smirks against your lips, the pads of her fingers pressing against your clothed clit as she gives you a hum of approval.
âWet already? Over one little kiss? God thatâs patheticâŚâ she chuckles out softly as she degrades you for it, which somehow only sends more warmth shooting down your core.
âItâs alright babyâŚIâll take care of you..â she hums softly against your lips before she starts kissing down your body.
Her lips swirl your nipples over the fabric of your tank top, the material growing wet with her saliva. Itâs strange because the feeling is almost more erotic than if she were to do it with your top off. Maybe itâs how eager she is for it? For whatever it was she was planning on doing to you?
You had no idea. But you knew it felt good.
She does this until sheâs settled between your legs, your denim jeans already long gone, her eyes zeroed in on the growing damp spot on your panties. Youâre propped up on your elbows, watching closely as the girl who you were convinced hated you, stares down at your pussy like itâs her last fucking meal.
âYouâre soaked babyâŚfuckâŚâ she sighs out, her tattooed hand coming up to slowly run her index and middle fingers along your slit, the feeling alone making you gasp out before moaning for her.
That makes Ellie smirk, her stormy green eyes flickering up to catch your expressions as her fingers circle your clit slowly. âYeah? You like that donât you pretty girlâŚyou want more?â She questions, her voice so soft and sweet, yet dripping with the urge to tease and humiliate you.
It was so confusing, because you didnât know what it was that you wanted. Youâd grown to view Ellie as someone who disliked you, deeply in fact. You always saw her as a figure of hate and annoyance towards you rather than someone who could ever in their wildest dreams be in this current situation with you.
But it felt so good, it felt so fucking right to have her settled between your legs, her fingers circling your clit slowly, making your head spin, making you feel so dizzy you felt like youâd cry if your aching pussy didnât have some form of attention from her.
âAnswer meâŚâ she practically growls out when you take too long to respond, her dark eyes growing even darker as she awaits your confirmation.
Her tone along breaks you out of your thoughts, and before you can even think all of this through, consider the consequences that will follow a drunk hook up with Ellie?âŚ
Youâre nodding like a fucking bobble head.
âWant it so bad EllieâŚpleaseâŚ.please touch meâ you practically beg, hips bucking for the attention you craved.
You didnât even for a second stop to think what her motives were. Ellie was mean, and she could be really fucking mean when she wanted to. Whoâs to say this wasnât all a sick joke? One that sheâd laugh at hysterically just to get you to say you wanted her, weaponizing the way you begged for her in any instance she could use to keep you in line.
âGood girlâŚrelax babyâŚIâll make you feel real good..â she hums out, her gentle words tugging you away from your intrusive thoughts.
Her fingers tug your panties to the side, an audible groan rumbling from her chest as she finally gets a glimpse as your soaked core.
âFuckinâ look at thatâŚpussyâs practically drooling for me babyâŚJesusâ she sighs out softly.
For a moment, you think sheâs going to leave. Because in the dim light of your bedroom, you watch as she pushes her fingers into her mouth. You watch her with a confused frown as you hear a small click, paired with a gentle buzzing sound.
But once Ellie finally latches her mouth to your pussy, you can feel the foreign feeling of a tiny ball in the middle of her tongue vibrating against your clit.
You donât even have time to fully register what the actual fuck is going on, a loud gasp leaving your mouth as your eyes go wide for a moment before they flutter shut.
Ellie had a vibrating fucking tongue ring
The feeling has you moaning loudly, your head falling back as your back arches, feeding more of your throbbing cunt into Ellieâs mouth, which only makes her moan loudly against your sensitive core.
âFuck! Ellie oh my god! FeelsâŚh-huhâŚ.feels sâgoodâ you gasp out, words broken up with huffs and moans as you struggle to speak.
You want to kick yourself for not noticing it moment ago when she had her tongue playing against yours, the feeling of the smooth ball lapping against the inside of your mouth, only to begging vibrating once she settled her mouth on your pussy.
Sheâs just as fucked out as you are when you finally look down at her, her eyes fluttered shut in what could only be viewed as pure bliss as she licks and sucks your pussy like a woman starved. The image alone makes you reach out and tug a fistful of her hair into your hand, keeping her close as your hips began grinding against her face.
âYeah..rightâŚf-fuckâŚright there Ellie!â You moan out as her hands come up to hold onto your hips, guiding you, urging you to move harder and faster against her mouth.
Begging you to use her.
Your eyes flutter shut as the familiar feeling begins to settle into your lower half, your legs growing numb, hips getting sore as you chase the high that was growing deliciously close every second Ellie worked her skilled tongue on your pussy.
You arenât sure youâve ever felt anything like it. Between Ellieâs fantastic performance with her tongue, and the vibrating tongue ring, your head begins spinning as your orgasm grows closer in an embarrassingly quick amount of time.
âEllie IâŚI canâtâŚyouâre gonnaâŚmake meâŚâ you warn her, your eyebrows furrowed as you stare down at the girl, only to see her giving you an encouraging nod as she suckles your pussy, making sure the little ball on her tongue is working your clit in the most perfect way so that the vibrations can drive you where you need to go.
That alone has you crying out, back arching almost painfully as you cum hard on the girls tongue.
Sensitivity chases soon after, a soft whine leaving your lips as the girl laps up your arousal, tongue ring still buzzing against your tired cunt, making you shy away from the warmth of her mouth.
She chuckles at that, giving your clit one final kiss before she pulls away and reaches into her mouth to click the tiny machine off.
âDid so good for me babyâŚtook everything that I gave youâ she praises you as she crawls up your body, humming softly as her hand comes up to gently hold your face before she kisses you, letting you taste your arousal that lingers on her tongue.
You moan softly into your mouth, head still swirling with a million questions you had for her, all of which she silences with the slow and sensual lapping of her tongue against yours.
She does this as she pushes you back onto your bed, letting you rest against your pillows before she tugs your blanket over both your bodies, her tongue lazily playing with yours as she practically lulls you to sleep with her kisses.
Or so you thought.
Because soon enough, sheâs breaking the kiss, crawling off of your body as she tugs the blankets off of hers. You frown as you sit up a bit, watching as she adjusts her hair and her clothes in your mirror, crouching down a bit before she turns to leave your room without another word.
âIâŚyouâre leaving?â You question softly, confusion and exhaustion laced within your words.
Ellie snorts once she turns around, the back of her hand coming up to wipe away anymore of your juices that might have still lingered on her lips.
âYou thought I was gonna stay with you? Seriously?â She chuckles out softly before she slowly makes her way back to you, leaning down as she gives you a teasing pout.
âMaybe next time princessâŚI have someone waiting for me downstairsâ she winks at you before she swiftly leaves your bedroom, leaving you there with a shocked look settled on your face.
#ellie williams smut#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x female reader#ellie x y/n#ellie the last of us#ellie x you
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Everyone chose dom!Sevika so that's what you'll get: NSFW
Mean dommy Sevi who doesn't tolerate brats?
Warning: just filthy, degrading,fingering,straps,pussy slapping,spanking,spitting, orgasm control, overstimulation, mommy kink, maybe more? Idk
"You think you can just fucking bad mouth me all you want bitch?, who do you think you are huh?" She simply spat at you while holding your cheeks together in such a painful matter. Your lips all swollen and red, puckered out as she scolds you. You've been mouthing her off all morning and she couldn't take it anymore. She hates little brats who think they're to good for simple rules for their stupid brains.
You let out a small whimper which only earns you a rough slap to your pulsing clit. You jerk up and squirm around trying to get the painful but wonderful burn to go away. Sevika uses her mechanical hand to hold you down. "Stay fucking still and take your damn punishment. Or are you that much of a brainless whore you don't know what that means either?" She scuffed before letting your face go, she sat up. Her abs glistened with sweat, her sports bra covering those amazing tits of hers you just wanna suck on. Her happy trail that just leads you to a pair of boxers. You'd kill to be buried between those fat muscular huge thighs of her and suck on her huge clit.
Your thoughts get cut off by a firm slap to your clit once again. "Eyes up bitch. Now count, mess up and I start again." Sevika grabbed both your legs and put them next to your legs. Giving you an even more vulnerable look, your cunt completely on display and you can't even more. Sevika uses her fleshed hand to run two long thick fingers across your slit. Her warm spit hitting your bare cunt all of a sudden that causes a gasp and your hips to buck up. She gives a small chuckle before slapping your wet cunt.
"one!" You let out a airy breath taken back by the sudden roughness.
She slaps once more, a bit more pressure to it.
"t-two!.." you whine out and grip onto the old white sheets under you.
Suddenly a harder slap lands directly on your exposed clit.
"oh fuck!...u-uhm..three.." you barley manage out, tears forming in your eyes. You can practically sense her smirking at you without even looking. Sevika lands another harsher smack on your poor abused cunt once more. Causing your mouth to go into an 'o' shape as your body trembles and a new squirt of liquid seeps it's way out of you.
"Did, did you just cum? From having me spank this stupid pussy?" She laughed, genuinely laughed. "I didn't know you were so much of a pain whore love" you whimper and shaked while trying to rub your thighs together. "Please.." Sevika throws down your legs and climbs on top of you. Her thick thighs either side of your torso. "Please what? What do you want." "Please...please fuck me mommy.." you pleaded out with teary eyes, Sevika glared down at you before roughly choking you. Not hard enough to hurt you, but where you could feel the pressure. "Say that again."
"f-fuck me mommy.." Sevika practically growled as she tore off the rest of her clothing. Her erect nipples and tits all on display for you. Her boxers completely out of the picture, her bush now in full view. "Oh I'm going to ruin you bunny.." you shivered as she leaned in by your ear. "Be a good whore and open those legs for me.." she breathes out, her voice deep and husky. You spread your legs slowly until she leans back a bit and grabs your thighs, forcing them wide open. She gets off of your body and leans down to your pussy. Sevika blows warm air onto your cunt watching as your breathing became unsteady. Slowly both hands came up and spread your slick folds apart. She watched your hole clinch around nothing and smirked. Then proceeds to take a long lick from your hole to your hypersensitive clit. "Fuck honey you taste so good" she moans out against your pussy.
Sevika places her cold mechanical hand onto your thighs making sure it stays open. Her warm fleshed hand took two thick fingers before roughly fucking it into you. Starting a brutal hard fast pace. Not even giving you a chance to breath. The pain and pleasure forming into one. "Yeah that's right, take my fingers. Gotta have you ready for my cock"
She growled out, watching your greedy cunt suck in her fingers. A white ring already forming around her fingers. She smirked and looked at you, her gapped teeth showing itself making you clench around her fingers harder. "I'm gonna need my fingers y'know, greedy pussy, shit baby" your moans getting impossibly louder and body shaking. She quickly withdrew her fingers and gave another firm slap to your cunt. You whimpered and mewled into the sudden emptyness and slap. Sevika quickly got off the bed and grabbed her shimmerstrap. She purple glowing 7 inch dildo on full view. You watched as she put it on and grabbed some lube. You watched as she poured lube over the thick head of the dildo. Her hands coming down to spread it all over in a jerking kind of way. Whatever it was, you didn't care. She looked fucking sexy as hell, you gave out a small moan watching the obscene scene Infront of you.
"god baby, you make me so wet, I bet you know that huh?" She chuckled out. "You're gonna take mommy's cock like a good bunny aren't you, hm?" You drooled at her words and the scene before spreading your legs wide open. All shame out the window, you just needed her in you.
"this is gonna be a long night..."
~shi man I barley even write fics, idk what this was
#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane smut#arcane x reader#sevika x reader#sevika smut#sevika#dom!sevika#mean mommy sevika
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đđđđ đđ đđđđ
pairing. kinich x fem!reader
word count. 2.1k
genre/warnings. princess!reader, knight!kinich, slight enemies to lovers (not really, they just argue but idk the term for that tbh LOL), pixelprincess!au
summary.
ever since he became your personal guard, you've found kinich to be a royal pain in your ass. you've always assumed he felt the same, until the night of your matching ball. now, you're not sure what this burning in your chest means after all.
author's note. this is a drabble as part of a universe that i'm calling pixelprincess (knight!kinich x princess!reader). i don't really have a full fic planned for this or anything, i just have a bunch of small headcanons about them and i love aus so feel free to scream about them with me HAHA. thank you for reading! reblogs/interaction highly appreciated!
đŠđ˘đąđđĽđŠđŤđ˘đ§đđđŹđŹ!đđŽ đŚđđŹđđđŤđĽđ˘đŹđ
If thereâs one thing you can definitively say about Kinich, itâs that heâs not stupid.
Honestly, you could say a lot of things. Youâve heard the rumors just like everyone else, about the fearsome Captain of the Guard who passed training within a single day. They whisper that he holds a dragonâs power in his heart, a fact that strikes fear into any nation that dares encroach upon your territory. His reputation precedes him, and heâs somewhat of a mystery to the general publicâmost of them envision him as a hero, the key to the nationâs defense.
If thereâs another thing you can definitively say about Kinich, itâs that sometimes, you wish he was stupid.
The castle always feels larger during the summer, when the sunlight bathes the interior with gold and the halls bustle with movement during the day. Guards and aides rush in every direction, though none of them seem to spare a glance in your direction; thereâs simply far too much to pay attention to today.
The maids are replacing the vases with fresh flora, Brilliant Chrysanthemums and Saurian Claw Succulents that make the room seem brighter, discussing which configuration looks the best. You know them all, of course; growing up within the castle meant that these women had practically raised you. Even as an adult, itâs hard to escape them when they feel like pinching your cheeks and reminiscing on old times.
Sensing the coast is clear, you crack the door open another millimeter, carefully slipping into the hall and blending in with the crowd. The maids, luckily, donât notice, still fussing over petals and stems. Youâd calculated this time exactlyâright now, the guard patrol should be across the castle, checking the entrances before the ball tonight. If your information wasnât wrong, then you should have just enough time to make it to the servantsâ passages, and then out to the gardenâ
âOh?â
The familiar voice makes you murmur some choice curse words under your breath. Of course, the dark-haired man in front of you is always several steps ahead of everyone. Heâs leaning against the stone wall, looking entirely too pleased with himself, as if he knows something you donât.
âPrincess,â Kinich greets, bowing his head despite how you wave him offâyouâve never been one for formalities. âWhat are you doing here?â
âJust taking a walk.â
You move at a brisk pace past him, but Kinich is fasterâhe always is, the annoying bastard. Before you can turn the corner, thereâs the blade of a greatsword blocking your path. No matter how much you see it, youâre always surprised by the size of the damn thingâyouâre shocked he can even lift it as it is. A half-smirk rests on his lips when you gasp.
âTaking a walk away from your lessons? I do believe your teacherâs room is in the opposite direction.â
The annoying thing about Kinich is that he truly knows everything, including your schedules. Heâs thorough to a near fault, though you suppose that thatâs exactly the kind of person who would be fit for Captain of the Guard. Still, you duck under his sword, unwilling to make eye contact.
âLessons are tomorrow. I have other plans today.â
Kinich falls into step beside you, and the halls are suddenly clear of peopleâthe crowd parts before you, a stubborn rock among a rushing river. Youâre unsure if itâs due to your status, or due to your temperâitâs a well-known fact in the castle that Kinich can get you wound up quite quickly.
âAnd what might these other plans be?âÂ
He always has too many damn questions, you think. Silently, you curse your father for assigning him to you. A series of attempts on your life last year had made him paranoid, and heâd been quick to promote the strongest knight as your personal guard. Back then, youâd been fooled just like everyone else into thinking that Kinich was some kind of serious, straight-laced hero. Instead, youâd since discovered that he was seriously annoying.
âCan I guess?â he asks, deftly dodging past the maids carrying bundles of tablecloths and the waiters carrying sky-high stacks of platters.Â
âNo, you canât. In fact, you canât even ask. I should have you executed for that.â
Kinich raises a brow, amused. âThe Queen would never let that happen.â
And, unfortunately, heâs correct. Your mother absolutely adores Kinich as if he were her own son, and it irritates you to no endâespecially when she heavy-handedly suggests that you make him your groom. The door to the back stairwell falls into view, so you break into a jog as you reach the end of the hall, but heâs right on your heel.
If I can just make it to the stairsâŚ
Kinich steps in front of you again, not allowing you an inch further, and you nearly scream in frustration.
âIf I didnât know any betterââ
You scoff. âAnd you, in fact, donât know anythingââ
ââI would say that youâre trying to avoid going to the ball.â
And, once again, you wish that just once Kinich would let something fly over his head.
Utterly defeated, you collapse into one of the plush chairs nearby, fanning your face. Kinich stands over you, a bit tense, as if he thinks youâre going to try to run again. You wonât; at this point, youâre too tired.
âSo what if I am?â you finally admit. âYou always complain about them anyway. I find it a little unfair that youâre allowed to and Iâm not.â
As great as he is at his job as a guard, Kinich isnât so great at facing the public, despite how popular he is among them (particularly the women). Whenever he can, he avoids social events like the plague, often volunteering to run perimeter duty as a precaution rather than attending with you. You, unfortunately, donât have that luxury.
Kinich sighs, resting his weight on his sword. âI donât complain, itâs just annoying when everyone is so loud andââ
You snap your fingers, interrupting and pointing at him accusingly. âYou hear that? What you were just doing? Thatâs called complaining.â
Realizing he was caught in the act, Kinich rolls his eyes. âHow very profound of you. If you put that much effort into your escape routes, maybe you wouldâve made it this time.â
Your gaze narrows. âHow about I stick a profound fist up your aââ
âKinich? Is that you?â
The booming voice makes you both straighten up instantly. Kinich smoothly sheaths his sword, saluting to the king as he makes his way down the hall. Youâre far less graceful about it, gathering up your skirts messily and quickly curtseying to your father.Â
âYour Highness,â you both echo.
If your father notices the tension between the two of you, he doesnât say so; he looks as jolly as always, even more so because of the event today. Heâs the social type, a trait you unfortunately did not inherit.
âJust the two people I was hoping to see,â he laughs, a full-bodied sound that booms from his chest. âIâm glad that the two of you get along so well.â
To your irritation, Kinich smirks, while you offer your father a thin-lipped smile.
âOf course,â you lie, sneakily jabbing your guard in the ribs. He coughs. âWe get along like a house on fire.â
âThatâs good,â your father says, nodding encouragingly. âYouâll both do well later tonight then.â
Your heart drops at the thought of attending the event. You know how long your parents have been planning this, and how long theyâve been practically begging you to find a companion. Itâs all a long-winded scheme to find you a princely partner, and not one that you particularly appreciateâa great majority of the princes youâve met are far too full of themselves. You truly have no interest in any of them.
Kinich, however, pointedly clears his throat at your fatherâs wording.
âBoth of us?â he asks, enunciating slowly. âIâm not sure I follow, sir.â
You perk up in interestâthat detail had been lost on you.
âI invited several princes from neighboring nations today,â your father says, eyeing you with a pitying stare. You try not to feel offended. âI want my daughter to find someone suitable for her, no matter who that may be. Still, I was hoping you could attend with her this time? I know itâs not your favorite, but I would feel uncomfortable with her being around so many strangers alone.â
Kinichâs smirk falters, and he suddenly falls still. You wonder if heâs irritated by the prospect of attending the ball at your side.Â
(Distantly, you wonder why the thought of that makes you feel a bit ill.)
The silence grows awkward, and you rock on your heels, searching for something to say. Your guard looks a bit lost for words, likely because he wasnât prepared for so much social interaction today. You canât really blame himâif you were in his shoes, you wouldnât be thrilled either.
âActually, Your Highness, that wonât be necessary.â
Your eyes nearly pop out of your skull at Kinichâs reply, but you hurry to control your expression, unwilling to give anything away to your father. The king raises a brow.
âAnd why is that?â he asks.
Kinich gnaws on his lip, an action that is wholly unlike himâyou donât think youâve ever seen him appear nervous about anything in his life. Still, he meets your fatherâs gaze head on, coughs once, then says:
âThe princess isnât feeling well. I think itâd be best if she didnât attend the ball today.â
He nudges your foot just as your fatherâs gaze drifts to you, and you thank your lucky stars that you did inherit your motherâs dramatics. You throw a hand over your forehead, fanning yourself aggressively.
âSince this morning,â you explain, looking as pitiful as possible, âI donât know whatâs wrong with me. Thank the archons Kinich was here, otherwise I mightâve fainted earlier.â
And you really do feel guilty when your fatherâs eyes well up with tears of worry.
âWhy didnât you tell me earlier?â he cries, then turns to one of his aides in a panic. âCall the doctor! Have him attend to her immediately. And announce that sheâll be absent from our festivities tonight.â
You force yourself to hide your smile at his announcement. Your eyes flicker over to Kinich, but for once, he doesnât seem the slightest bit amusedâin fact, he still looks troubled. Your father fusses over you for a bit longer, asking a series of questions about what youâd eaten and who youâd been in contact with. You answer as honestly as you canâthe least you can doâand then he directs Kinich to escort you back to your room.
The hallway seems to empty out quickly after that display, and then itâs just you and your guard. For some reason, he seems to avoid your eyes. He doesnât speak, merely offering you his arm, and after a moment, you take it.Â
âSo, what changed your mind?â you ask, unwilling to let him sit in silence. He looks displeased by your question, but answers anyway.
âNothing,â he says, expression blank, âI just didnât think you should go to the ball tonight.â
The tips of his ears are flushed red, you note. Liar.Â
Still, Kinich keeps countless secrets that youâre sure youâll never know, and you suppose it doesnât really matter why he decided to let you off the hook tonight. Really, youâre just grateful youâll get to sleep peacefully with no stinking princes breathing down your neck. The thought makes you smile as you finally reach your bedroom door.
âWell, what a shame it is,â you sigh sarcastically, turning the knob, âI couldâve been dancing the night away with the love of my life. Now I might never meet him.â
The corner of Kinichâs lip twitches.
âAs if,â he replies gruffly, a touch too fast. âYou wouldnât like any of them anyway. Theyâre not nearly capable of handling you.â
Your eyes narrow, irritated by the implication. âAnd you are?â
He raises a brow in response. âArenât I?â
It comes out uncharacteristically soft. A switch seems to flip in the room, and you suddenly start feeling sick for realâitâs too hot, too quiet. Kinichâs stare weighs on you heavily, and you get lost in the depth of it. You freeze where you are, bedroom door half-open, and you can almost pick out the meaning in his words when he turns away, clearing his throat.
âGoodnight, princess,â he murmurs over his shoulder. âSweet dreams, andâŚget well soon.â
He makes his exit without another word, and you wonder if heâs still working tonight. Is he still going to guard the ball? The perimeter? What if one of the other princesses takes a liking to himâ
You huff, deciding you donât care and slamming the door shut. The ball is bound to be a drag, and you find Kinich annoying, you think as you fall into bed. Youâre happy about this arrangement. Overjoyed, even.
Yes, you find Kinich very annoying.
âŚDonât you?
#genshin impact x reader#kinich x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact fluff#kinich x you#kinich#genshin impact#adeptus ink#pixelprincess!au
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He Hates Me, Doesn't He?
A series of random Bucky Drabbles that I can't let go but don't have the brain to make the whole complete plot of.
Summary: You hurt Bucky's girl, and now he hates you.
Pairing: tfatws!bucky x female!reader
Words: 6.7k++
Warnings: angstyyyyyyyyy, but with happy ending because I cannot live in agony. miscommunication galore. 'I want to strangle bucky's girlfriend.' soft reader, cold/mean bucky. bucky should've grovel more. horrible attempt of writing verbal arguments. nothing much but pain.
Inspiration: I remember reading a bucky fic years ago and I like the pain that it caused me to feel. Idk why the pain suddenly came back to me lately. So, this is my take on the same idea. I haven't able to find it. But when I do, I'll reblog it in my another acc!
Read my other works here: Masterlist
y/n had always been a steady presence in the Avengers, known for her gentle demeanour and unwavering support. Her relationship with Bucky Barnes had blossomed from a quiet friendship into something deeper. When they first met, Bucky was reserved and hesitant, still grappling with his past as the Winter Soldier. y/n, with her gentle nature and patient understanding, slowly helped him come out of his shell.
She remembered the sleepless nights they spent together when they were on the run with Steve and Sam. They'd share stories, and sometimes just sit in silence, her quiet company offering solace to Bucky's restless mind. The unspoken bond growing stronger with each passing day. Bucky looked up to her, finding comfort in her presence, and in turn, he became fiercely protective of her. They'd watch each other's backs during missions, their synergy on the battlefield a testament to their deep connection.Â
And somewhere along the line, she fell for him. She had fallen for Bucky's resilience and vulnerability, though she never expected more, knowing that a relationship was not what he needed right now. At least, that's what she thought. Little did she know, Bucky had always loved her; ever since the day she offered him tea the first night they were on the run to Wakanda. Maybe she was just simply aloof, or maybe Buckyâs flirting skills werenât translated the way he wanted, but they never crossed the line between friendship and âsomething moreâ.
Then when Jen came into the picture, it felt like things started to change. Jen was bold and confident, and it wasn't long before she caught Bucky's eye. Their relationship seemed to spring up overnight, and y/n, though hurt, tried to be happy for Bucky. Jen was supportive and caring, or so it seemed, and Bucky deserved happiness.
Now, as planned the team was instructed to moved into the Avenger compound for a few months to train new recruits. It had only been the first month but surely it was jam packed with endless of rigorous training sessions. The original teamây/n, Sam, Bucky, Jen, Clint, and his mentee Kate Bishopâwere all assigned to train the new recruits, with additional of few agents from different branches coming in to help out.
y/n was heading to the training room; she knew it was way too early but she thought that if she didnât get out of bed now, she might not even get up at all. To her surprise, she was not the first one. She saw a few new trainees were already on the way to the training room; some of them greeted her a good morning. She simply smiled at their enthusiasm.Â
The moment she entered the area, she overheard voices coming from the corner of the room. She paused, recognizing Jen's voice, which was raised and laced with contempt. Curiosity piqued, y/n stepped closer, staying just out of sight behind the white board. In hindsight, it might seem weird that she was sneaking around to eavesdrop on Jen, but she couldn't help it.
Initially, y/n liked Jen. She tried to welcome her into their tight-knit group and even supported her relationship with Bucky. However, as time went on, Jen began acting strange. The things she said about Bucky sometimes sounded condescending. She would make comments like, "It's amazing how well he's adjusted, considering his past," or, "It's great that he's trying so hard to be normal." The way she acted often differed from her words, with Jen giving Bucky disapproving glances or sighing heavily whenever he mentioned something from his troubled past.
She had noticed these discrepancies and started to feel uneasy around Jen. She couldn't shake the feeling that Jenâs support was just a facade. Now, standing behind the whiteboard, she strained to hear the conversation.
"âŚand honestly, I donât understand how anyone can trust him," Jen was saying. "I mean, sure, he's got that whole 'reformed hero' thing going on now, but letâs be real. He was Hydraâs pet assassin for decades. The things heâs done? Itâs unforgivable."
Her friend, another agent from a different branch, nodded hesitantly. "But youâre dating him, arenât you? Doesnât that mean you trust him?"
Jen laughed, a cold, humourless sound. "Dating him? Please. Iâm in it for the fame and the perks. Have you seen the way people look at us? Besides, heâs hot, Iâll give him that. But trust him? Never. People like him donât change. Theyâre broken. He's a monster, and he always will be. Itâs only a matter of time before he snaps again."
y/n felt a surge of anger rise within her. How dare Jen talk about Bucky like that?Â
Memories flooded her mind, flashing back to Buckyâs nightmare-plagued nights. She remembered the prominent dark circles under his eyes, the haunted look that never quite left his face. The silent pain he endured, adjusting to a modern world where he felt like an outsider, magnified when Steve left. She could still see the wary, suspicious glances people cast in his direction, the whispers behind his back when they first ventured out. Before the fame he acquired as he regained his reputation after the Flag-Smasher incident.
She had witnessed his hardships firsthandâthe nightmares that woke him in a cold sweat, the moments of crippling doubt and self-loathing. But she had also seen his triumphs, the small victories that slowly built his confidence. The first time he laughed freely in her presence, the genuine smile that lit up his face when he finally allowed himself to relax. She cherished those moments, the sunshine that broke through the clouds of his tortured past.
All of this came rushing back, breaking the chains on the Pandora's box inside of her. The fury she felt wasn't just for the disrespect to Bucky; it was for every ounce of pain he had suffered, every moment of joy he had fought so hard to reclaim. Her eyes hardened with resolve as she stepped forward, her voice steady but cold. "Take that back," she demanded, her presence startling both Jen and her friend.
Jen turned slowly, a smirk spreading across her face as she saw y/n. She knew from the beginning about the cute little crush y/n had on Bucky. To be frank, everybody sort of knew about it, except for Bucky somehow.Â
"Or else what, y/n?" she replied with a mocking tone. "Youâre quite pathetic arenât you? You think that I canât see how youâve been eye-fucking my boyfriend all this time? Come on, now. Backing him up would not give you a leeway into his pants, y/n."
y/nâs face went through a range of emotionsâshock, embarrassment, and then seething anger. Jenâs words were like poison, each one landing like a punch to the gut.
Jen continued, confidence oozing out of her cocky demeanor, "Besides, we all know that I can easily beat you in a fight, doll"Â
The use of dollâa nickname Bucky had given y/n from day one, when Steve had quite literally kidnapped Bucky from the governmentâmade y/n blood boil. Hearing it from Jen felt like a personal attack, a deliberate attempt to undermine everything she shared with Bucky.
And it was true that Jen had graduated top of her batch from the Avengers program and had countless successful missions under her belt, but y/n knew this wasn't about accolades or abilities. This was about something deeper, something more personal.
y/n clenched her fists, taking a step closer. "You think this is about who can fight better?" she said, her voice shaking with restrained fury. "This is about respect. You donât get to talk about Bucky like that."
Jen scoffed, a cruel smile on her lips. "Respect? For that monster? Youâre delusional. Heâs a ticking time bomb, a liability to the team. And deep down, everyone knows it."
y/nâs patience snapped. In one swift motion, she slapped Jen hard across the face, the sound echoing through the room. Jen stumbled and fell to the ground, shock and anger flashing across her features.
She stalks forward like a predator cornering its prey, "Iâm just done with your lies and your insults. Bucky deserves better than you." Jen instinctively crawled backwards towards the centre of the room. Seeing that she got the attention of the few new recruits she regained her composure, smirked again, but there was a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. "Youâre pathetic, y/n," she taunted. "Defending a lost cause." her voice was loud enough for y/n to hear but quiet enough that the others might not be able to decipher her words.
At that moment, Bucky and Sam burst into the room, followed closely behind by a new recruit who alerted them of the incident. Buckyâs eyes widened as he took in the sceneâJen on the ground, y/n standing over her, shaking with rage. "Whatâs going on here?" His demand was completely ignored as y/nâs mind was hyper-focused on the wrath bubbling within her.Â
"Get up," y/n demanded, her voice shaking with wrath. Buckyâs momentarily froze as he watched the confrontation escalate before him. y/n, usually so composed, was now a whirlwind of rage, her eyes blazing as she stood over a trembling Jen. Bucky had always known her to be fierce in battle, but this was differentâthis was raw, unbridled anger. "I'm going to make you regret every word you said. So get on your fucking feet before I rip it off you.."Â
Jen, still on the ground, looked up at y/n with wide, teary eyes, playing the role of the victim to perfection. "Please, I didn'tâ I donât know what you'reâŚ," she whimpered, casting a fearful glance at Bucky and Sam, who had just arrived on the scene.
Bucky's mind raced. Why was she doing this? He stepped forward, trying to diffuse the situation. "y/n, hey!" he shouted, his voice a mix of confusion and anger. "What are you doing?"
Completely ignoring him, "Get up," y/n snarled, her eyes blazing with intensity. "Get up and fight me. Iâll show you who the real monster is." Jen looked up, her hand on her cheek, disbelief mingling with her fury. "Youâre crazy," she spat, scrambling to her feet.
Her response was only a furious shout. "I said, get up!"
"y/n, are you crazy?!" Bucky yelled, moving quickly to intervene. He grabbed her wrist, his grip tight and unforgiving.
She turned her fierce gaze towards Bucky; her expression momentarily faltering at the hurt in his eyes. "Bucky, you donât understand, she--" she began, but the words caught in her throat as she saw Jen's smirk flicker for just a second.
"There's nothing to understand," Bucky snapped. "Youâre acting insane."
y/n looked at him, her eyes filled with hurt and frustration. "Bucky, you have to listenâ"
But he cut her off, his expression hard. "I donât care! You hurt her, y/n. You think I donât see that bruise on her cheek?!" Bucky shouted, his face contorted with anger. His eyes, usually filled with a gentle warmth when he looked at y/n, were now blazing with fury. "This isnât like you, y/n. Iâve noticed that youâve never liked Jen, and I donât know why. But this? This is just immature and reckless." His metal grip on y/n's wrist was tighter than he intended. She winced, her eyes watering not just from the pain but from the sting of his words.Â
y/n had never seen Bucky like this. His anger was palpable, radiating off him in waves. It was like being hit with a physical force, and she felt her heart breaking under the weight of it. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she blinked them away, her anger flaring even hotter. "Bucky, you donât understand," she tried to explain, but the words caught in her throat.
Buckyâs expression remained hard, the force on her wrist tightening painfully. "You need to grow up, y/n," he seethed, his disappointment evident in his tone. "You're always causing drama lately, and it needs to stop. Jenâs been there for me in ways you havenât, and I wonât tolerate you attacking her like this."
The words cut through her like a knife. Her heart shattered at his harshness, at the realization that Bucky thought so little of her. She yanked her wrist free, feeling the sting of his grip lingering. "Fine," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Believe what you want."
Without another word, she turned and stormed out, leaving Bucky standing there, torn between confusion and guilt.
A gnawing sense of remorse tugging at him, but he couldn't shake the confusion and anger clouding his mind. "Jen, are you okay?" he asked, helping her to her feet.
Jen, tucking herself to his side, managed to summon a few tears, looking up at Bucky with a feigned innocence. "I donât know why she hates me so much," she murmured, playing her part perfectly.
Bucky fingers softly traces on her wounded cheek before his gaze switched to y/nâs retreating form, a knot tightening in his chest. He wasnât sure why those mean words had spouted out of his lips. Was it because he saw Jen injured on the ground and his protective instincts kicked in? Or was it because Jen had been whispering doubts in his ear about y/nâs loyalty, making him question his longtime friend?Â
The truth was, Bucky had always relied on y/nâs unwavering support. She had been his rock through the toughest times, and seeing her so furious, so hurt, shook him to his core. Yet, in the heat of the moment, he had lashed out, unable to reconcile the image of Jen crying with the fierce anger that radiated from y/n.
As Bucky comforted Jen, his mind was a storm of conflicting emotions. He couldn't shake the image of hurt on her face, nor could he ignore the nagging feeling that he was missing a crucial piece of the puzzle.
On the side, Sam was only able to watch the scene play out silently, a frown creasing his brow. He had a feeling there was more to this story, and he intended to get to the bottom of it.
As weeks passed, the rift between Bucky and y/n deepened, fueled by Jen's cunning manipulation. In a private conversation, Jen planted seeds of doubt in Bucky's mind, suggesting that y/n harboured hidden resentments and intentions.
"I hate to say it, Bucky, but maybe she's not who we thought she was," Jen insinuated, her voice dripping with false concern. "Maybe she's been hiding her true feelings all along, waiting for the right moment to strike."Â
Bucky, already vulnerable and confused after the incident in the training room, absorbed Jen's words like poison, allowing them to fester and take root in his mind. He began to view y/n through a new lens, one tainted by suspicion and distrust. This single conversation, filled with subtle manipulations and insidious suggestions, was all it took to fracture the bond between Bucky and y/n, leaving Bucky cold and distant towards the one person who had always stood by his side.
Most days he would avoid eye contact with her during team meetings, barely acknowledging her presence when they were forced to interact. In training sessions, his instructions to her were curt and clipped, lacking the warmth and camaraderie they once shared. y/n felt each of these interactions like a stab to the heart.
She couldn't understand how quickly Bucky had turned against her, how easily he had accepted Jen's version of events without even giving her a chance to explain. The hurt festered inside her, eating away at her sense of self-worth.
Then one night, as y/n sat alone on the rooftop, staring out into the darkness, Sam found her there. He knew this was where she retreated when she needed space to think, to process her emotions. He approached her cautiously, sitting down beside her without a word.
"Why aren't you at dinner, y/n?" Sam finally asked, breaking the silence. He could see the emptiness in her eyes, the weight of her sorrow pressing down on her.
She shook her head, her voice hollow. "Lost my appetite," she muttered, her gaze still fixed on the horizon.
Sam gently prodded, knowing there was more to her withdrawal than just a lack of hunger. "Is it because of what happened the other day at the training room?" he asked softly.
Instantly, her demeanor shifted. Anger flared in her eyes, directed not just at Jen and Bucky, but at the entire situation. "I don't want to talk about it, Sam," she snapped, her frustration bubbling to the surface. But Sam wasn't one to give up easily, especially when he knew how much y/n was hurting. "Come on, y/n," he urged, his voice gentle but insistent. "You can't keep bottling this up. Talk to me."
Her expression softened slightly at Sam's persistence, but the pain still lingered in her eyes. "Seriously, Sam, please just drop it," she pleaded, her voice wavering with emotion.
Sam could see the cracks forming in her facade, the vulnerability seeping through the tough exterior she usually projected. Without a word, he pulled her into a comforting embrace, letting her bury her face against his shoulder.
As she clung to him, her facade finally crumbled. Her lips trembled, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "He hates me, doesn't he?" she whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of her own heartbreak. "Bucky hates me."
Sam held her tighter, offering silent comfort as she grappled with the weight of her sorrow. He knew there were no easy answers, no quick fixes to mend the shattered pieces of y/n's heart. But in that moment, all he could do was be there for her, a steady anchor in the storm of her emotions.
The dim glow of the kitchen's overhead light provided a faint sense of solace in the otherwise silent darkness of the compound. Bucky sat at the wooden table, his tired eyes staring blankly at the cup of untouched tea before him. It was a nightly ritual lately, this dance with sleeplessness and the haunting memories that lurked in the shadows of his mind yet again.
Footsteps broke the stillness, and Bucky's gaze shifted to the entrance of the kitchen. y/n stood hesitantly in the doorway, her presence casting a tentative aura over the room. There was a palpable tension between them, an unspoken weight that hung heavy in the air.
She cleared her throat, breaking the awkward silence. "Mind if I join you?" she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper. She was expecting Bucky to ignore her completely but he didnât; Bucky simply shrugged nonchalantly, his guard seemed to flatter. "Suit yourself," he muttered.
As she quietly took a seat opposite him, a heavy silence settled between them. Bucky's thoughts churned with a whirlwind of emotions, each one vying for dominance over the others. His guard seemed to falter in the presence of her tentative yet comforting aura. The weight of his own vulnerability loomed large in his mind, drowning out the anger he had harboured towards her.
As the silence stretched between them, she felt a surge of compassion wash over her. She knew why he was awake at this time. She knew that the tea he brewed was to help him sleep. She was the one who planted that habit to him after all.
And despite everything that had transpired between them, she couldn't bear to see Bucky suffer alone. With a deep breath to steady her nerves, she decided to reach out to him, to offer what little comfort she could.
Without a word, y/n rose from her seat and moved to stand behind Bucky's chair. He stiffened at her touch, his muscles tense with apprehension. But as her gentle hands began to massage the tension from his neck, a wave of unexpected relief washed over him.
Her touch was soft and comforting, a stark contrast to the coldness he had grown accustomed to due to Jenâs unwillingness to acknowledge this side of him. She ran her fingers through his hair, coaxing him to relax, to let go of the burdens that weighed heavily on his shoulders. For a brief moment, Bucky allowed himself to forget the walls he had built around his heart. In her presence, her voice, and her touch; he felt a glimmer of hope, a flicker of warmth that he had long since forgotten.
But then, like a sudden gust of wind extinguishing a fragile flame, the weight of Jen's words came crashing back down upon him. Anger flared within him, hot and fierce, directed not only at y/n but at himself for allowing his heart to yearn for her.
He pushed himself away from the table, his movements sharp and abrupt. "I don't need your pity, y/n," he spat, his words laced with bitterness. "Just leave me alone."
With that, he stormed out of the kitchen, leaving y/n alone in the suffocating silence.The disbelief that clouded her thoughts gave way to a searing agony that twisted in her chest. How could he say such things? How could he push her away so callously, after everything they had shared?
y/n buried her face in her hands, her body trembling with the force of her sobs. The weight of her shattered dreams pressed down on her, crushing her spirit beneath its merciless grip. She had never felt so alone, so utterly abandoned by the one person she had trusted above all others.
The pain of losing Bucky, of losing the love that had sustained her through the darkest of times, threatened to consume her whole. Each breath felt like a struggle, each heartbeat a painful reminder of the emptiness that now filled her soul.
In that moment of crushing despair, she couldn't help but believe that Bucky truly hated her. The thought tore through her like a knife, leaving behind a raw, gaping wound that no amount of time or distance could ever hope to heal.
As she sat alone in the suffocating silence of the kitchen, y/n felt the full weight of her heartbreak descend upon her like a tidal wave. She was lost in a sea of pain and sorrow, drowning in the agony of losing someone she had loved so deeply, so completely. And in that moment, she couldn't help but wonder if she would ever find her way back to the surface again.
Unbeknownst to her, Bucky lingered just out of sight, his heart heavy with guilt. He wanted to go back, to take back his harsh words and hold her close, to chase away the tears that stained her cheeks. But the poison in his mind was too strong, clouding his judgement and trapping him in a cycle of self-destructive despair. And so, with a heavy heart, he turned and walked away, leaving y/n to cry alone in the darkness.
The mission had already been tense enough, but as y/n found herself face to face with Jen in a location she wasn't supposed to be, the atmosphere crackled with an added layer of hostility. It was as if fate had conspired to place them in this confrontation, and her jaw clenched involuntarily as she braced herself for what was to come.
Jen's presence in that spot was no coincidence, and she knew it. Her suspicions were confirmed as Jen turned to face her, a smirk playing on her lips, a gleam of malice in her eyes. y/n's grip tightened on her weapon, her pulse quickening as she prepared for the verbal assault she knew was coming.
"How does it feel, knowing that Bucky hates you now?" Jen's words sliced through the air like a knife, each syllable carrying the weight of y/nâs deepest fears. It was a direct hit, striking at the core of her insecurities, and for a moment, she felt as though the ground had been ripped out from beneath her feet.
But she refused to let Jen see her falter. With a steely resolve, she squared her shoulders and met Jen's gaze head-on, her expression a mask of defiance. She may have been shaken by Jen's words, but she refused to let them break her.
Ignoring the taunts, she focused on the mission at hand, determined to prove her worth despite Jen's attempts to undermine her. But with each passing moment, the weight of Jen's words hung heavy in the air, casting a shadow over y/nâs every move.
It was a battle on two fronts â against the enemy they faced together, and against the doubts that threatened to consume her from within. But she refused to back down, drawing strength from the knowledge that she fought not just for herself, but for the team she believed in with all her heart.
But Jen's relentless barrage of insults made it difficult to concentrate, her words like daggers slicing through y/nâs defenses.
"Aww come on y/n, bet youâre reeling in the loss right now, arenât you." Jen continued, her voice ice cold. "The Assetâs little lapdog, clinging to him like a lost puppy."
y/nâs temper flared at the insult, her grip tightening on her weapon as she fought to keep her emotions in check. But Jen's mocking laughter only fueled the fire burning within her, pushing her to the brink of her patience. "Shut your mouth, Jen," she growled, her voice low and dangerous. "Or I swear to God, I'll make sure that the team finds your body disassembled in one of these rooms."
Jen simply rolled her eyes, unfazed by her threat. "You love him that much, huh?" y/n had no intention to deny that fact; she does love him, "More than you ever could." her voice was firm and true. Jenâs smirk fell as she scoffed. "Ain't that cute, the Winter Soldier and his little psycho sweetheart."
Before y/n could respond, a voice cut through the tension like a knife, freezing her in place. It was Bucky, his expression dark and stormy as he stepped into view. "What's going on here?" he demanded, his eyes narrowing in suspicion as he took in the scene before him.
y/nâs heart sank as she realized that Bucky might have heard everything. She turned around to meet his eyes and his face confirmed her suspicion; he heard it. Bucky had heard everything â every taunt, every insult, every word exchanged between her and Jen; even the confession of her true feelings. She met his gaze; searching for some sign of understanding of his emotions and the little that she saw was: disappointment, betrayal and guilt, mirrored back at her in the depths of his stormy blue eyes.Â
In that moment, all she wanted to do was pull him into her arms, to pull him away from all the painful memories and hurtful words; so far away that he would forget he had ever been taunted, betrayed, or made to feel less than he was.
Before she could utter a word, let alone take a step towards him, Jen's voice broke through, but it lacked the usual confidence. "Bucky, it's not what you think," she stammered, her eyes darting nervously between Bucky and y/n. "I-I was just..."
y/nâs clenched her jaw, her patience wearing thin as Jen stumbled over her words, unable to come up with a coherent explanation. She could see the confusion and hurt in Bucky's eyes, a reflection of the turmoil raging within her own heart.
"I-I mean," Jen continued, her voice faltering. "I was...um...just trying to...uh..."
But her feeble attempts to justify her actions only served to further incense Bucky. His brow furrowed in anger, his fists clenched at his sides as he struggled to make sense of the situation.
"Enough," he growled, his voice low and dangerous. "I don't want to hear any more lies."
y/nâs heart ached as she watched Bucky's expression darken with anger and disappointment. She wanted to explain, to tell him the truth about Jen's betrayal and her own misguided attempt to defend him. But the words caught in her throat, choked by the weight of her guilt and regret.
With a heavy sigh, Bucky turned away, his shoulders slumped with defeat. "Let's just finish the mission," he muttered, his voice heavy with exhaustion. "We'll deal with this later."
As he was about to walk away, y/n noticed a red dot on his chest, the unmistakable mark of a sniper's laser sight. Without thinking twice, she leaped towards him, her body acting as a human shield. Time seemed to slow down as she collided with Bucky, pushing him out of the way.
"y/n, no!" Bucky shouted, his voice filled with panic as her body slumped against his chest.
In the chaos, Jen was nowhere to be seen. She had slipped away, taking shelter and ultimately fleeing the area as she heard multiple footsteps approaching.
Bucky tried to pull up his gun, but it was too late. An array of bullets rained down on them. He felt the searing pain of a few shots piercing his own flesh, but it was nothing compared to the sight of y/nâs body being riddled with bullets. She was hit in the shoulder, wrist, thighs, and other places Bucky couldn't even register.
Rage surged through Bucky like an inferno, obliterating any semblance of restraint. He moved with a deadly precision, his eyes blazing with fury as he unleashed a storm of bullets on the enemy. His movements were swift and unforgiving, every shot finding its mark with brutal accuracy. The enemy fell one by one, their bodies collapsing in lifeless heaps. The air was filled with the deafening sound of gunfire and the acrid smell of gunpowder, but Bucky's focus was unyielding.
Within moments, the room was cleared, the enemies wiped out in a flurry of rage-fueled vengeance.
The adrenaline ebbed away, leaving Bucky standing amidst the carnage, his chest heaving. He turned, and his eyes fell on y/n's crumpled form. The sight of her lying in a pool of her own blood shattered his rage, replacing it with a crushing wave of worry and panic.
"Hang in there. Please," Bucky hastily spoke, his voice trembling. He activated his com line, desperation seeping into his tone. "Guys, we need help. y/n... she's... she's been shot. We need to get out of here right now!" Panic coursed through him as he turned his attention back to y/n, frantically trying to stop the bleeding on her stomach. "y/n, dollâŚplease" he pleaded, watching her hazy gaze. "Don't you dare give up on me now. Come on."
"babydoll, stay with me!" Bucky cried, his voice breaking as he cradled her in his arms. Blood soaked through her clothes, staining his hands. "Please, hang on, you canât leave yet. I haven't told you... I haven'tâ"Â
Her eyes fluttered open, her breathing shallow and ragged. "It's okay, Bucky," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the chaos. "It's okay. Don't cry." Her shaking hands struggled to move, and with great effort, she managed to cup Bucky's cheek. The gesture was weak but filled with tenderness. "It's okay," she repeated, her fingers trembling against his skin.
"Don't talk like that," Bucky choked out, his own tears mingling with the blood on his face. "You can't.. I haven't told you...please doll..." His voice wavered with the weight of unspoken words and unconfessed feelings. He hadn't told her how much he truly cared for her, how every moment spent away from her felt like an eternity. He hadn't begged for forgiveness for his coldness, his mistakes, and for letting Jen's poison taint his actions. The guilt gnawed at him, each heartbeat a reminder of the words he hadn't said, the emotions he hadn't expressed.Â
He pressed her hand harder against his cheek, feeling the warmth of her touch anchoring him in the moment.Her hand weakly brushing against his cheek. "I know, sweetheart," she murmured. "I know."
Bucky's heart shattered as he clung to her, feeling her life slipping away. "No, no, no," he muttered desperately. "You can't leave me. Please, y/n. Please."
She smiled faintly, her eyes closing. "I'm here, Bucky. I'm right here."
With a final, shuddering breath, y/nâs consciousness slipped away. Bucky felt a surge of panic, but he knew he had to move. He lifted her limp body, cradling her against his chest as he ran towards the quinjet. Each step was agony, his own injuries slowing him down, but he didn't care. All that mattered was getting y/n to safety.
"Hang on, y/n," he whispered, his voice trembling. "Hang on. I won't let you go."
In the sterile environment of the medical bay, y/n lay unconscious, her body hooked up to various machines that monitored her vital signs. Bucky sat by her bedside, his eyes red-rimmed and swollen from crying. Every beep of the monitor seemed to echo through the silence, a haunting reminder of her fragile state. He held her hand, his thumb gently caressing her bandaged wrist.
Memories of their time together flooded Bucky's mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of the connection they shared. He remembered the laughter they had shared, the late-night conversations that stretched into the early hours of the morning. He remembered the gentle touch of her hand, the warmth of her smile that never failed to chase away the darkness.
But amidst the memories, there was also pain â the pain of their last conversation, the words left unsaid and the choices left unmade. Bucky's throat tightened as he recalled the day he had walked away from Jen, the air thick with tension and unspoken truths.
His voice was cold and final. "You almost got her killed, Jen," he had said, his eyes blazing with anger. "Stay away from us. Stay away from me."
Jen's eyes had flashed with anger, her words cutting like knives as she lashed out in frustration. "And what, you think you'll find someone better than me?" she had spat, her voice dripping with venom. "Good luck with that, Bucky. You'll never find anyone who would put up with your baggage."
But Bucky had remained resolute, his decision fueled by a sense of longing and regret that threatened to consume him whole. "Maybe not," he had admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I'd rather be alone than with someone who doesn't truly care about me."
Now, as Bucky sat by y/nâs bedside, the weight of his decision bore down on him like a crushing weight. Tears welled in his eyes as he reached out to gently brush a strand of hair away from her face, his fingers trembling with emotion.
"I'm so sorry, babydoll," he whispered, his voice thick with unshed tears. "I never meant for any of this to happen. So, please, wake up. I need you."
But y/n remained unconscious, her breathing shallow and weak as she lay before him. And as Bucky watched over her, his heart heavy with worry and regret, he vowed to do whatever it took to bring her back to him, to keep her safe from harm for all eternity.
For in that moment, Bucky realized that he couldn't bear to lose her â not now, not ever. She was his rock, his anchor in a world of uncertainty and pain. And as he held her hand tightly in his own, he prayed with all his heart that she would find her way back to him, to the love and light that had always guided them through the darkness.
The soft hum of machines filled the air as y/n stirred awake, her senses slowly coming back to her. She blinked, disoriented at first, until her gaze fell upon Bucky, who was sleeping soundly in the chair beside her bed. His hands were clasped tightly around hers, his face peaceful in slumber, but she couldn't help but notice the tear stains on his cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes, the worry lines etched into his forehead.
"How long has it been since?" she wondered to herself, her heart aching at the sight of Bucky's exhausted form. She carefully sat up, trying not to disturb him as she lovingly examined his sleeping face. She couldn't help but smile as she gently ran her fingers through his hair, the soft strands slipping through her fingertips.
Bucky groaned as his sleep was interrupted, muttering something about Sam needs to leave him be; before he abruptly sat up, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Hi there," y/n greeted softly, her eyes sparkling with affection as she watched Bucky's reaction.
For a moment, Bucky seemed unable to comprehend that she was finally awake. His eyes widened in disbelief, his mouth slightly agape. But then the realization hit him, and he threw himself at her, wrapping her in a tight embrace as if she were the most precious thing in the world .Despite the pain that shot through her body, she managed to let out a soft chuckle, returning his embrace with equal fervor. The warmth of his embrace chased away the lingering chill of unconsciousness, and for a moment, everything felt right.
"y/n..." Bucky breathed into her neck, his voice trembling with emotion. She hummed in response, her heart swelling for him. "Hmmm?"
Not wanting to let go of her, Bucky called her name once again, his voice wavering with uncertainty. "y/n-..." She paused, her lips curving into a tender smile as she whispered in his ear, "Yes, Bucky?"
Bucky tightened his grip, his breath hitching in his throat as he buried his face in her shoulder. y/n gently rubbed his back, her touch soothing and comforting as she reassured him, "I'm here, sweetheart." The scent of her hair, the feel of her warmth against himâit all felt overwhelming. Emotions churned inside him like a tempest. Relief, guilt, love, and fear battled for dominance, leaving him raw and exposed.
She gently rubbed his back, her touch soothing and comforting as she reassured him, "Bucky, I'm not going anywhere.
Bucky's mind raced, images of the past few weeks flashing before his eyes. He remembered the coldness with which he'd treated her, the cruel words that had slipped from his lips, fueled by Jen's poison. He thought of the sleepless nights, the nightmares that had gripped him, and the aching void he'd felt every time he saw y/nâs hurt expression.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice muffled against her shoulder. "For everything. For not believing you. For pushing you away."
Reluctantly, she pulled away, but not before wiping the tears from Bucky's cheeks and fighting the urge to place a tender kiss on his forehead. As she looked into his eyes, she could see the depth of his love and the pain he had endured for her sake. And in that moment, she knew that she had found her home in his arms. Bucky took her hands in his own, his eyes closed as he pressed a kiss to her wounded wrists. "This will never happen again. Ever," he vowed, his voice filled with determination.
Moved by his words, y/n felt her heart flutter with emotion. She realized in that moment that she could never stay angry at him, no matter what had transpired between them. She understood now that they were both at fault, both victims of circumstance and misunderstanding.
With a surge of courage, she reached out and pulled Bucky into a kiss. Her lips met his in a slow, passionate embrace, pouring all of her love and forgiveness into the tender gesture. It was a moment of connection, of healing, of reaffirming their bond despite the trials they had faced.
The taste of Bucky's lips was like a soothing salve to her soul; it was intoxicating. It felt as if the world had fallen away, leaving only the two of them entwined in each other's arms. When they finally broke apart, Bucky whispered those three words that y/n had longed to hear, "I love you."
Her heart soared with joy, and she couldn't help but tease him, "Took you long enough." her teasing words met with a cheeky grin from Bucky.  "I love you too, Bucky" she blinked slowly. As he whispered softly under his breath, "Come here," he pulled her back into the kiss, their lips meeting in a tender embrace that spoke volumes of their unspoken love. And in that moment, amidst the chaos and uncertainty of their world, they found solace in each other's arms, knowing that together, they could weather any storm.
Read my other works here: Masterlist
A/N: I just needed to let this out lmao. It's been stuck in my head for several weeks. Thank you for spending your time reading this crap... honestly. Love you so much đ¤
#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#tfatws!bucky#bucky angst#bucky fluff
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