#idk what i expect from the guy who has told me on multiple occasions that he wants to stab me to death and leave me die on the street lol.

[angelstrawbabie420]

i wish for once in my goddamn life he would just say making a mistake is fine instead of treating me like i’m the dumbest person on earth and getting so angry he insults me for shit he’s done a million times before and i literally brush off bc it doesn’t fucking matter. then has the audacity to start yelling and saying i’m a baby because i call him out for his unreasonable behavior. brother YOU are the one throwing insults and degrading people over mistakes i think YOU are acting like the baby here

[ventingbeec]

3. my sister

my little sister is literally taller than me and ofc i hate this so much

i love my sister with all my heart but i wish i was the taller one

so these are some things she told me

im really into fashion so ine day i talked to her about an outfit and she told me that it wouldn’t look good on me because im short and that kind of outfit only looks good on tall people

she told me this not only this time but multiple times and multiple occasions

and that shit broke me i felt like i don’t deserve to wear a certain type of clothing just because of the way im built

as if im the one who controls it

believe me if i could grow raller on the spot just by a clap of hand or snap of finger i would do it and i would be 5’8

and so what she told me then was stuck with me forever because whenever i think about a motorcycle jacket now i just think i can’t wear it because i would look ridiculous i would look like a clown and so i don’t deserve it

im stuck to wear just a ceramic type of clothing like a curse just because im not tall

and so maybe that’s why im so obsessed with growing taller because i want to wear whatever i want even tho i can wear a motorcycle jackright now i couldn’t feel good in it if im not 5’8

4. classmates

a. ok so last semester i was in class with my friends and so i stayed in a weird position on the chair

like a meditation 🧘 position

and my friends they were like how could you sit like that

wow you’re so flexible

and i was like yea idk

and so this girl said “yea but shes also very short so”

that shit hurt the fuck out of me

tf has flexibility to do with my height

i hate this so much

i hate being perceived in general but being perceived as short and my height being so important on a daily basis hurts so fucking much i wish it didn’t matter that much then maybe i would be happy but it does matter that’s why i want to be taller

b. one time this dude hold my hand in front of everyone in the class and asked them

“doesn’t this look weird, i look like im holding hand with a kid, it’s so weird” that shit hurt so bad because what does that mean??? im not a child we have the same agee

he wasn’t even that tall himself

i feel like i don’t deserve to be loved and i also feel nobody would ever love me because he would think the same thing as that glassmate

that it’s weird and i look like a child

c. this one guy who was my table mate said a lot of hurtful things but im gonna talk just about the height

he said my head it’s so big compared to the rest of my body and i have weird proportions

he once asked me if my younger sister was talller than me then laughed

it’s true that my proportions are weird and i already hate myself so thanks for reminding me that would be stuck with me forever

d. this girl who i was close with in highschool

ok so we had to go to the school assistant to measure our height and so when she measured mine and my friend heard

she… looked literally disappointed…

that shit hurt so do bad because it also reminded me of my mom who had also expectations from me to grow a certain height and it hurt so so so bad

i think like i disappointed people just by existing and not getting their expectations and i feel so guilty for it

maybe that’s ehy i force myself so much to grow and im so obsessed over my height

because i want them to love me

ok so my friend then said (very sad and disappointed) “wait, so that means you wouldn’t grow more than this?”

not only that it breaks my heart that she even expected me to be taller like an object but i also felt like she was ashamed to be in public with me

and i feel this emotion till this day

that people are ashamed to be in public with be because im ugly short and i don’t look a certain way so i could hang around the

i hate myself and the way i look so much and i feel i can’t be around people because they also hate me and are ashamed to be seen with me around the and that’s why i don’t get very close to people anymore

i hate hate hate hate being the short one

in friend groups

in family

in class

i hate it so much

i hate myself

i want to be tall so bad

why why why can’t i just exist and people be happy with me the way i am and be proud if me

and even if a was a hamster they could of loved me and not be ashamed of me

State of minds and the way your body feels

So i recently realised how feelings influence so much the way you see the world around you.

Idk how to elaborate it but i want to tell an experience i had.

So when i was younger for some reason i was afraid or idk to shop. Exactly, i was anxious about shopping in supermarkets. I don’t really know why?

Maybe because i thought people are staring at me and judging me, or maybe because i was low on money?!

So i found a picture where my friend showed me she bought a cup of noodles, and i remember i really wanted to try but for some reason i never searched for it, and even the few times i went with my mom at shopping and found something i wanted i would just leave it.

So now thinking about it it sounds so pathetic but back then it was such a blockage for me to do the most basic things.

Right now i can spend hours in supermarkets, its the lamest thing ever, so why did i put that experience on a pedestal??

Another thing i used to put on pedestal when i was younger was a white pencil. I really really wanted a white pencil and i thought it was such an amazing thing, and when i bought my first one i was so happy, but then i coul afford to buy more so got a lot feon different brands to test them out and even now i have them, maybe for like 8 years?? They are around the house but i don’t care about them, they are lame, but i used to think omg such an amazing thing.

So my conclusion is that we tend to put such insignificant things on pedestal and think we can’t approach them when in real life they are lame af. But still i don’t have any wise advice to give tbh. I still want insignificant things, and i still think im not worthy having them when in reality they are probably very approachable, how to stop this?

So for example, i really want to be tall, like 5’7, can i really do this? probably? do i know how to? maybe idk? is there anything that’s stopping me? most certainly.

So because this is my vent blog anyways, i will talk nonsense.

1. I want to be tall because i want to or because others judge me cus im short?

I will enumerate some moments people judged my height.

1. My mom

so my mom always tells me i would be more beautiful if i was taller

when i was younger she would tell me to work out to grow taller

she pushed me to do a lot of things to grow taller

she always judge other short women calling them names so maybe i feel she thinks the same about me

do i want to be tall just to make my mom happy? i want this for her? i want to look a certain way so that she would stop judging me just for existing?? why does she wants this? shy can’t she love me just for who i am, if i was even more shorter shat would she think about me??

omg i feel like im about to throw tf up right now

i never realised i feel like this

how can i stop this?

am i worth it? probably, but how do i stop hating myself and caring what others think about me

i feel maybe they would never like me even if i was 7’1 so then what’s wrong with me? do i want to grow just to ignore them after and prove something? but i don’t heve to prove anything to anyone, am i right?

the only person i should care about it’s me

so is height really that important?

but i don’t know how to care about myself anymore?? what do i do?? skincare??

i’m so confused

i really want to fit in the society beauty standard so bad, i want people to accept me amd love and admire me

but why??? why do i care so much??

if i would have loved myself then would i care anymore about what others think?? idk how to live myself

i don’t think i have to do anything to love myself, i should do it just because i exist, but why do i feel so weird then

why do i want to prove something when i shouldn’t

2. my dad

i feel like i care about his male gaze

not in a weird way, but in a “i think my child it’s ugly way”

idk if you know that movie when a girl turns into a pig, like, her nose is pig like

and at some point her dad told her mom that

“we have to admit, we have an ugly daughter “

that line, that scene, why is that in my mind? why did it stuck from the moment hear it??!

it passed more than a decade but that line is my roman empire

why do i care about this so much

now that i write this, i never realised how much i cared about my parents opinion about my outside appearance but i do

i do a lot until it eats me alive

one time i was sitting at the dinner table and so my dad stared at me and then smirked

so my mom asked him why

and he giggled and said “look how much X looks like her grandfather”

my grandfather who is first of all a man, second of all a big, crooked, septum deviated, nosed man

i remember that moment so vividly, i wanted to disappear in that moment so nobody could ever see my face ever again

never

i don’t hate the way my grandfather looks, but i am aware of how he’s seen by the society

and i am aware that remark wasn’t something nice but something to point out ugly features

one time when was really into selfcare

and i really wanted to drink a gallon of water a day for health and also clear skin

my father overheard my discussion and he intervened saying that “where could that much water go through your body? for you maybe one cup of water a day”

and for me, that didn’t seem funny

that shattered me, i hate it, i hate so much being perceived

i hate so much being made fun of

i don’t want to look the way i look anymore

i hate me, i hate the way i look

why am i like this, why am i so weak? so skinny?? and some of you will sat it’s something good but it’s not, as a grown up woman i look like a little boy, i feel less of a woman

i feel im not worthy, i feel like i deserve absolutely nothing and i don’t understand why was i born and why am i still alive to suffer

i do i care a lot about shat people say about me

because in our society it matters a lot how people perceive you

i wish i didnt care but i do

i wish i was different but im not

i wish i could look like the beauty standards

i wish i could make my parents happy

i wish i could prove something

i wish i was loved and appreciated

i wish i wouldn’t have to hate myself so much

i wish i could just live in silence and be happy and eat and wash my body and sleep and play and do things i like and love myself

i wish i could just love the way i looked

everything about me

even my big crooked nose

i wish i could truly love it but it bought me so much pain

so much pain

for just existing and not bothering anyone it attracted so much pain

why do i have to look a certain way to not be bullied???!!!

why do we all have to look the same

after some pattern

i think i should stop caring about others

even my mom or dad but it’s kind of hard

[hebescus]

remember this ship ask? yeah, i wanna do them all with lawlight bcs they control my brain. but it's a happy no death note au bcs it's me. oh and this shit is long plus it's 3 am rn so my words are very messy. but enjoy.

(i skip some numbers that i answered and the ones that i can't think of btw)

pre relationship :

How did they first meet?

L's investigation hq. he was a suspect of L, still, but this time he told soichiro to bring this 18 yo boy to the hq to test him, asking light to work with all of them. he ends up not guilty ofc, but L still wants to keep him…around.

What was their first impression of each other?

ah, the good old 'what the fuck dude???' from light and the 'oooh he got a big brain' from L. it's hard to get out of canon in this one.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

L. But it's more like thoughts, rather than feelings. It's just these random thoughts that pop out in his head like 'i don't mind kissing this guy, if he asks' but not like 'i want to kiss him' yknow what i mean? idk this is just something i experience a lot lmao. it develops to feelings once light falls for him and L can see that. So in terms of ideas, it's L, but in terms of feelings, it's Light.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Oh our favorite light denial yagami. Of course he's cursing himself for having feelings like this but once L calls it out he's over. 

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

Light would laugh it off, and be like "i don't like him that way you know". L would shrugs be like "well yes that's possible, i don't think i mind". 

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

boring, lonely, empty, you name it

(more under the cut)

general :

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

hmm, they both initiated the relationship? ykwim? They both notices they had feelings for each other and just...go from there. they never have like a relationship talk, they just go with the flow until at some point they starts to get comfortable to refer the other as partners. They basically can read each other's mind, after all.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

Yes, sort of. A tennis game! And a coffee sesh after, just like canon. They plan this to be just "let's just relax, this case has been really exhausting, take a one day break, L" but when Light got home, sayu asked "how's the date going?!" He immediately said "it's not a date, you watch too many dramas it's rotting your brain" And sachiko gave him a smile while shaking her head at this statement and when he's back to his room he immediately calls L and was like "hey does that count as a date?" and L answers with "depends, do you want it to be?" with a smirk that light can hear.

What was their first kiss like?

it was late at night, light was helping L with the case when everybody went home. they were sharing their view about this certain criminal when light notices L staring at his lips, first he ignored it but it happens again and again to a point where their face just got real close and then...kiss, somehow. idk lmao.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

First person who can understand each other and are equals, the only ones who can tear the other's wall down, and just practically soulmates in any form that even their sun & moon signs mirroring each other's? YES. 

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

i hc L as just a little bit taller than light, but it's not like you can see it through the hunch anyway. ofc we all know the 6 years and 4 months age gap

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Sayu likes L, Sachiko is kinda surprise Light doesn't date a typical pretty person, but it only makes her heart fonder. L doesn't mind them, he thinks they're nice, light grew up in a good place. Soichiro? Well, he might me a bit reluctant but he loosen up slowly, his son is happier than he ever was, after all.

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Light, obviously. Because he's a charmer and if L takes control, the person they speak to would run immediately the first 2 minutes.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

it is a universal knowledge that L does this. like, come on, count the fics, you can't, there's just so many. he loves to break that perfect wall and make light feel 🥴😳. it's entertaining. But he knows when to stop. too much of that will be embarrassing in light's part, and he respects his boy's dignity.

love :

Who said “I love you” first?

Light!! The thing is it was said over the phone. He gets more and more comfortable talking with L through calls, since every now and then L travel frok countries to countries. One time he just like "yeah, safe flight. love you, bye" he expected L to say goodnight to him as a response as usual but L was silent and he realised what he just said and realised that he fucking mean it. L seems to still be able to read his mind even thousands miles away so he replies with "i love you too, goodnight". they never missed seeing each other more than that night.

What are their primary love languages?

we had a discussion for this! but as we see in canon, they're both very acts of service with a little hint of physical touch here and there. quality time is also important. words and gift aren't really needed for them.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

L. Only to annoy light. It's terrible that he almost cringed to himself, but it does bring a good laugh for light.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

PDA is a not their preference, they just love being in private more. They might hold hands sometimes, butmost times they won't. Altho they always stand or sit reaaaaally glued to each other even though there are so many space. 

Who initiates kisses?

both. they want it, they got it. but light gives light kisses (ha) more, not necessarily on the lips, usually when L was really busy working, keeping his feet on the ground.

Who’s the big and little spoon?

They don't spoon a lot, they prefer not touching at all or cufdling face to face, but when they do, Light is the little spoon because being a big spoon makes his sleeping position kinda uncomfy, he feels awkward with his legs, it's just not. thankfully L thinks cuddling light this way is very calming.

What are their favorite things to do together?

Tennis and solving cases, duh. Or sometimes they play video games fighting each other. Anything competitive and/or challenging that make their brain grow 10 times bigger. But sometimes, a comfortingly peaceful and quiet dinner with hushed words thrown here and there about random things feels like the best thing ever.

Who’s more protective?

L. For identity reasons, ofc.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Physical. They can read each other's mind, they knew it by gesture, touches, and glances. 

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE. venus by sleeping at last fits them so well, that song is in the background of multiple cozy couch smooches sessions or even when they're slow dancing (please listen to this tho song it's so good). also i think they would like persephone by the tragic thrills too, L would be like "this song reminds me of you" and Light answers with "i'm persephone?" "Yeah" "i'm a fucking badass then" "yes you are". oh and first day of my life? lover of mine? pink in the night? sweet creature? the lakes? oh god i have too much answers

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they don't do nicknames, really. although, L sometimes called light with some snarky tony stark styled nicknames when he feels particularly playful but annoyed at the same time.

Who remembers the little things?

They both do. Big brained assholes they are.

domestic life :

If they get married, who proposes?

It's not really a proposal, they didn't  even remember who said it first. But one sleepy night after a hard case, someone said "hey you wanna get married" and the other was like "sure, why not" "really?" "yeah, i think i'm ready, you?" "me too" "great" and then they go to sleep. at breakfast the next morning L called watari from across the room and said "wammy i need you to prepare [enter marriage stuff here], and light, you must call your family after this". poor old watari chokes on his tea.

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

The wedding is in a secluded little place near the wammy's house, L used to go there a lot as a kid. With just light's parents, sayu, and watari. Well, not until Light caught Mello, Matt, Near, and Linda peeping from the bushes

Do they have any pets?

A chunky cat the wammy's kids feed daily but never try to keep them in, because no animals are allowed inside the orphanage. L saw it and was like "light let's bring this bitch home" she is, indeed a little bitch, but light and L loves her dearly. her fur has light brown and black colors, like both of their hairs, so she becomes their daughter, L gave him a weird ass name but i can't think about it rn.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

Light because he's the one who's actually bothers to. They ofc annoyed L but he cpuldnt care less to actually get rid of them.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

L. He rarely sleeps and once he did, he wakes up very fucking late and will pull light back to the bed if he's woken up by the empty space beside him.

Who’s the better cook?

Light. L is a spoiled brat. But Light can't bale for shit, that's Watari's job. Light grow up learning and helping his mom making meals for the family. He's not the best, but it's good enough to make L craves them in between his sweets.

Who likes to dance?

None of them. But they would slow dance on rare, sentimental occasions. And it's like so fucking romantic bcs all the lights are off except for a candle or a table lamp or a cabinet lamp whatever that has yellow-y dim light. And they don't speak, they just casually move against each other, but heart ready to combust like i do when i the mental image came into my head.

[marvinswriting]

Northshore's couples, written by anonymous, about anonymous.

a crack idea bear and I had that I took seriously

g/t mean girls

November, 12th

Ifykyk.

Hey, Northshore! Welcome to a new section of the school newspaper. I've been fighting for a gossip blog for a hot minute now, and since the paper is dying down, Northshore is finally allowing it. 

But this isn't just any gossip blog.

This is the place where I'm gonna -try- to answer your most burning questions about Northshore couples in question.

All through anonymity and observation.

To start, let's meet the students. All names have been changed so identities can stay hidden. In the tinies we've got: J, A, and R. Then in the giants there is: D, C, G, K, and S.

Who's with who? Who hates who? Who's got some secrets under the surface? Come back next week.

"Full offense to Northshore, this sounds stupid as fuck." Janis huffed, tossing down the newspaper, letting it fall to the table. 

Karen looked at the small girl of Damian's shoulder.

"Why do you think?"

"Gossip blogs are unoriginal and boring. The school newspaper is grasping at straws."

"They can be fun when done right." Regina points out. "I say we check in next week and find out more about the students it's about."

"Whats-" Cady frowned. "What's a gossip blog?"

"Aww, baby's first gossip blog! We have to keep up with this one. Just for Cady." Damian said.

Karen watched with amusement as her friends discussed gossip blogs and if they were any good.

This will be fun. 

November 19th

Love the feedback from last week guys! You're all as hyped as I am. And no. I won't confirm who your suspicions are. Stop slipping notes under the computer lab door.

This week J and D were seen together. (It's not uncommon.) 

A was seen kissing C when they thought nobody was looking. But don't be fooled, somebody is always looking.

Not to be creepy or anything.

Just- we saw that, A. 

You won't spot R without K or G anywhere near them, don't know if any of them are dating though.

Development into J and D's relationship as D is seen defending J from S. Sources couldn't hear what they were saying but it sounded pretty hostile. Is it just caring friends or something a little more? 

This blog is focused around uncovering Northshore's couples once and for all. Have any tips? There's been a box placed by the computer lab door. Got any other people you want to see covered? Let me know!

Until next week, the anon who writes about anons. Xx!

"So," Cady looked down at her newspaper. "A gossip blog, is just talking about people?"

"Hence, the gossip part." Janis folder her own tiny newspaper, tossing it onto the cafeteria table from Damian's pocket. "And it's stupid."

"I wonder who it's about?" Gretchen said. "I know everything about everybody. But all this info? This is news to me."

"It's obviously about-" Karen paused. Was she the only one to figure it out?

Wasn't she the dumb one?

"Never mind. I dunno who it's about either."

"I don't understand why you care so much." Janis huffed.

"Because its fun to be nosey about lives that aren't ours. Duh." Regina said.

November, 26th

Happy Friday, Northshore!

Wow, lots of you sent in info about J and D. Whether you've cracked the code on who they are or maybe you're just observant of two fellow students- there is no denying they're pretty affectionate.

Since we're on the topic, let's start with J and D.

Kisses. Lots of them.

Romantic, or just friends? The duo themselves give pretty mixed answers so we must take matters into our own hands and draw our own conclusions. J was seen skipping class on multiple occasions and hiding with D. I hope J has a good tutor. I could never miss that much info.

R and G are seen together. K seems like they're third-wheeling. Somebody get them out of there. K, if you need a sos, slip a note in the box bby. We've got you.

If you want to talk about PDA, look no further than A and C. Wow! A hello kiss, a kiss kiss, a GOODBYE KISS? They may not say it themselves but those two are definitely a fairytale couple.

No updates to S. #singleforlife.

Sorry, S. If you're reading this.

"Well, A and C just sound gross." Janis frowns.

"Don't be negative, Jan." Damian shakes his head at the girl on the table. "They sound cute."

"Overly cute." Cady says.

"I'm glad somebody agrees." Janis huffed.

"Poor K. Thridwheeling a couple is awful." Gretchen sympathizes.

"We don't know if R and G are dating." Aaron points out. "We don't know if any of these people are dating. I'm kinda hooked."

"Well, third-wheeling best friends is even worse." Cady sighs, glancing at Damian and Janis. 

Karen looked at the newspaper in her hands with a soft smile. She had a note to drop off.

December 3rd

Happppppy Friday! I have a big announcement right off the bat!

It is I, the writer, formally known as Anon. But now there's two of us! Me, the writer, and another student- the spy. Between the two of us (and your help from the box!) we're gonna crack these relationships open in no time!

This week's rundown!

R was with G the whole week. There was not one time they were separated. 

A, J, and R were seen in the tiny halls together where  A was overheard talking fondly about C.

Is there a fight for J?

D and S seem to never want to leave J alone.

Although, if you asked the writer, I'm totally team JD. Message for S? This isn't middle school anymore. Being mean to somebody isn't a good way to show your emotions. Message for D? You're doing fabulous, I'm rooting for you. Message for J? Pick fucking wisely. 

I'm a bit biased but my info is not. 

Don't you worry.

Until next week, you know where the box is! Xx.

"Aw, J and D sound like a cute couple." Regina cooes.

"A and C don't." Janis shook her head. "To sappy."

"Is Jan warming up to the gossip blog? And forming opinions?" Damian teased.

Karen shook her head in disbelief. The fact that her friends were yet to catch on-

-they were dense. Not idiots, just dense.

"S sounds like an asshole." Gretchen shook her head. "Bet its a boy. Yknow when a boy would pull your hair in elementary school and you'd get told, oh boys will be boys. He just likes you! Yeah. S is a dude for sure."

"Not every boy was like that. I wasn't." Damian said.

"You're gay." Janis rolled her eyes. 

December 10th

Heyo Northshore! It's the writer. Might I say, you look wonderful today? 

I don't see you but I'm sure you're just stunning.

A must be p r e t t y stupid because they were seen all this week studying with C. A kiss for every problem right? Hey, it's not a bad deal.

R was seen primarily with K this week, throwing off all previous theories.

Must have been a rough week for J. I'd imagine you've got to be stressed as hell to just break down randomly but guess what- they did. Lack of sleep? Hunger? S? Who knows what the culprit was.

But don't you worry, D was quick to whisk them off to someplace quiet.

Love to see it, I want a significant other like that.

The day they confirm their relationship is the day I expect a wedding invite.

See you next week! Xx.

"Wow! Looks like Jan isn't the only one in Northshore who needs to learn when to take a break before the break takes them." Damian deadpanned, lowing his newspaper.

Karen blinked. Are you kidding me?

"I was just tired." Janis huffed. "I needed a nap."

"I dunno man. A and C sound cheesy as fuck." Gretchen shook her head.

"They do. Now J and D though? That couple goals." Janis said.

Karen's hand shot to her mouth as she covered a laugh with a forced cough. "Couple? You think they're together?"

"For sure. They sound made to be!"

Oh dear.

December 17th

Winter break next week! Who's excited? We get full two weeks off this year and I'm so ready for a break.

I'll miss our resident couples in question though.

Not to throw everyone off but-

J spent the week with G. R spent the week with C. And A was with D?

Now granted by the time you're reading this print, this is two-week-old information- but why?

Did you get bored and just s w a p?

Anyway, I guess S wanted into the mix too? Because they took advantage of no D to try and get to J. It didn't work. G was there to protect our favorite JD ship. I'm not saying they're a cockblocker bc I don't wanna imply anything, but S is d e f i n it l y trying to get something out of J. Motive unclear but hey, we can assume :/

Gross.

Anyway, there were multiple fights that broke out that day so idk what yall were on but jesus christ calm down. Not relationship-related but be fucking nice to tineis.

Ugh.

K had no part in this swap of s/o but hey, they weren't third-wheeling anymore. 

Xx!

"Be fucking nice to tinies!" Regina cheers.

"J and G?" Janis frowned at the tiny newspaper in her hands. "Sorry, only know about J and D."

"Janis went from, ew gossip, to I'd die to have JD confirmed, real fast." Aaron pointed out.

"As she should." Gretchen pointed out. "They sound cute as fuck.

"Hands down they're lesbians." Regina said.

Karen shook her head, totally dumbfounded.

January, 7th

Did you miss me! I missed you. Mwah.

Right off the bat-

Uh. The box has been filled with messages from S saying, they do not like J. 

So I guess they're just an asshole.

Hey, just means team JD is gonna win.

Speaking of-

When J was asked directly they said that, I quote "D is the love of my life." But when asking D, I was told: "[J is] just a good friend". Sort your story idiots. The school wants to know!

While S may be out of the running, many sources say JC is a rising ship? Between A and C and J and C, I can't help but wonder, is there a behind the scenes JCA?

Fellow tiny students report A and J not being very close in the tiny hallways though. Now J and R tho-

J is just one lucky mate.

Who's your favorite? Let me know in the box! Xx.

"J and D." Janis says from her perch on Damian's shoulder. 

Karen just looked at her phone.

"You think there's a threesome going on in school?" Gretchen asked.

"Unlikely. I don't even this A and C sound cute. Why add another." Aaron rolled his eyes.

You don't think-

Karen sighed.

She really should tell them but- it was so much funnier this was.

Janis stood up on Damian's shoulder, pressing a quick kiss to his jaw without motive. 

Karen turned back to her phone, unsurprised if that would pop up in next week's article. 

January 14th

I love you- signed the writer.

Glad we got that out of the way.

NOW.

This was quite the week for our "couples".

First off, D and J? PDA through the roof.

Idk, maybe it's a special week, or maybe we're paying more attention and they've always been like that.

Those tiny kisses aren't lost on me, J. I see all.

Ugh, so cute.

A and C are-

"Skip this passage," Janis whined. "Nobody cares about them."

Everyone around the lunch table nodded as Karen began to read out loud again.

G kissed R?! R might have given a scowl but bystanders didn't miss the blush. Platonic or something more? That's the big question of this article but hey- this is a big step for all you GR shippers. Sorry to whoever wrote that long letter in the box passionately explaining how JR was peak friends to enemies to lovers. 

Shame.

#JD, anyway, you know where the box is! Xx.

"Fuck A and C. All my homies hate A and C." Janis grinned.

Cady nodded. "They're too cliche. It's annoying and I don't even know who they are."

Karen placed her head on the table with a groan.

She may not be smart, but these people were flat out idiots.

She felt a tug on her hair and looked up, resting her chin on the table.

"You okay, Karen?" Janis stood in front of her, Newspaper held at her side.

"Yeah, just dying on the inside a bit. Yknow, leaf emoji."

Janis made a face. "I don't but uh-" She leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to Karen's nose. "Don't leaf emoji. We like you here, alive on the inside."

Karen smiles. "Thanks, Janis." 

January 21st

Just when you think it's all figured out- J kisses K. 

In front of D.

At this point- they're all together. One big happy family. 

I'm still clinging onto my JD dream. 

Speaking off-

S is back. Did you miss them? Me neither.

They just grabbed J like nothing? Anyway, D was there to save the day obviously.

Our great big hero got a pretty precious nose kiss from J.  

I could make their own newspaper section about how cute they are. There is no way you can be that cute and n o t already engaged.

On another J note, if JD doesn't happen, I'd be pretty content with some CJ. C was seen giving J "a nice-sized smooch" (somebody from the box).

No development in the R and G category, just their usual cuteness.

Leave any tips in the box! You know where it is. Xx.

"Uh uh. JD over CJ." Janis shook her head.

Karen just placed the newspaper in her bag. Janis and Damian were quick to become J and D's biggest shippers. They were so good at confusing the school about their relationship status that they had themselves fooled.

Cady and Aaron, who were dating and just won't confirm it, hated C and A's relationship. Calling it cheesy and artificially sweet.

And Regina though R sounded like a bitch and G deserved somebody better.

The whole thing was just crazy. 

"I gotta go talk to a teacher this period. It was fun reading the paper together though." Karen said getting up.

There was a chorus of 'bye Karen's as she walked away.

The newspaper holder in the hallways was empty. Northshore's 'couples' was quick to catch on and save the newspaper program. 

Karen pushed the door open to the computer lab, making her way over to the tiny end.

"Hey, Glen."

Glen Coco looked up at her with a grin. "Got anything for me, spy?"

@realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @musicallygt

[restlesstheoryqfab]

text | LivQuinn

Liv: I was just looking back in my camera roll and found a picture of us in the dungeon :sweat smile emoji: :sweat smile emoji:

Quinn: oh God

Liv: We looked so rough LOL

Quinn: I'm sure we did

Liv: How are you?

Liv: Did I see somewhere your tour ended?

Liv: You going back to California?

Quinn: m'fine

Quinn: That it did.

Quinn: Nah. Headed back to Boston.

Liv: Oh! So I’ll get to see you then??

Liv: When will you be around?

Liv: It’s been ages

Quinn: Yup

Quinn: Got plans Monday, presumably I'll be required to make an appearance at Fran's on Tuesday, but I could probably do sometime on Tuesday?

Quinn: That it has.

Liv: That’s so far

Quinn: It's Tuesday or you wait even more.

Liv: Ugh the worst

Liv: why can’t you be around nowwwwwww

Quinn: Because I'm not

Liv: I’ll wait

Liv: Since I have to

Quinn: believe me, I'd prefer to be around

Liv: Are you close enough for me to drive to you?

Liv: The pictures were so hot!

Quinn: I'm busy.

Liv: Oh, okay. No worries

Quinn: Post tour shit is a bitch

Liv: I mean, I imagine so. So much physical and emotional work. When I was on tour it felt like we never went to bed.

Quinn: I love being on tour. I hate coming off it.

Liv: Sounds like you ate too many edibles

Quinn: I wish.

Liv: Do you want some?

Quinn: God no. Fran would kill me.

Liv: So? Edibles are basically good for you

Liv: Plus they just help you sleep

Quinn: You convince miss high and mighty of that.

Liv: Maybe she just cares about you?

Liv: Well, if you decide you want some lemme know.

Quinn: She does, but she's also anti-everything fun

Liv: Fun is relative. Different for everyone.

Liv: sounds like you need fun, grumpy

Quinn: But weed is nearly always fun, and Frannie turns up her nose at it.

Quinn: I need a fucking break is what I need.

Liv: plus how do you know Frannie hasn’t made edibles before? She definitely has.

Liv: You’re literally on break

Quinn: Is my withdrawal brain reading shit wrong or did you just say that Frannie, Francine Grace Fabray MADE edibles?!

Liv: She did! On Sunday.

Quinn: The fuck?

Liv: It’s why I have them

Quinn: You made edibles with my sister?

Quinn: god this feels like a hallucination

Liv: I did!

Liv: They’re so yummy too

Quinn: What fucking world did I faze into that my sister is making edibles?

Liv: Why does it matter?

Liv: It just means she doesn’t care if you let me bring you some

Quinn: She'll still fuckin kill me

Liv: I just wanna chill with you Fabray

Quinn: I'm probably the last fucker in Boston you really wanna hang out with.

Liv: Hey now, don’t put words in my mouth :frowning emoji:

Quinn: I'm not good company right now.

Liv: That’s okay. I can just drop cookies off?

Quinn: No. It'd be a bad idea. I don't know what adding that onto everything else would do. Would like to at least give Fran the chance to kill me.

Liv: Okay. I’ll bring some Tuesday then. How’s that?

Quinn: Sounds great. And tell whichever of the women in that house you're talking to that I know what I'm doing.

Liv: You sure about that?

Quinn: Yeah, this isn't my first rodeo.

Liv: Well they love you

Quinn: Doesn't always feel like like it. Fucking snitch.

Liv: Rather be a snitch then lose you

Quinn: I was talking about Bea. Though you're not much better.

Liv: What did she do?

Quinn: Tattled to Frannie

Liv: she is the baby

Quinn: And I told her I was fine.

Liv: Yeah, I mean drugs usually don’t equate to fine. But it’s fine.

Liv: What do you have going on Monday?

Quinn: I'm detoxing. It's fine.

Quinn: high school reunion of the horny variety, apparently

Liv: But why stop if you wanna do them so bad?

Liv: Ooooooh

Liv: Gross

Quinn: Frannie. And I only trust one guy to supply me, though after this my trust is wavering.

Quinn: Pretty little brat that I'm inclined to believe is as good with her mouth as she says.

Liv: So you stopped enough to trick her?

Liv: Hopefully she’s not lying

Quinn: If she thought I wasn't using she didn't worry.

Quinn: Pretty little song bird who also doesn't know how to shut up. So if that woman doesn't know how to put that mouth of hers to good use, well, she knows what I'll do to her.

Liv: Looks like you’re spots been blown up unfortunately

Liv: What now?

Liv: Hopefully she shuts up enough to use her mouth

Quinn: Fuck if I know.

Quinn: She likes being put in her place, I'm sure I can that mouth to do what I want it to.

Liv: Cool

Liv: sounds funnnn

Quinn: I should ask if she's gotten rid of her reindeer sweater...

Liv: LOL u joking?

Quinn: This girl wore short fucking skirts, knee high socks, and sweaters so fucking often. And no matter how much teasing and bullying occurred she wouldn't change. Even her so-called friends tried to get her to toss the fucking reindeer sweater and she just wouldn't.

Liv: Well, stubborn can be fun. I think.

Liv: My brother always wears funny bow ties. People don’t appreciate them but he does it anyways.

Quinn: Bowties I can appreciate. Unflattering sweaters with reindeer I cannot

Liv: They were unflattering even with the knee socks?

Quinn: From ankle to waist she was perfect. Great legs, an amazing ass. And then BOOM reindeer

Liv: LOL you’ll have to let me know what she wears cause I’m big curious

Quinn: Hopefully not much. But yeah, I'll let you know

Liv: She shows up naked. Could you imagine :laughing cat emoji:

Quinn: If she wasn't meeting in public first I am not entirely sure I'd complain.

Liv: Why public if you know each other?

Quinn: Because it's been 11 years since high school and I'm not stupid enough to give someone I barely know my address?

Liv: Did she know your address back then? :winking emoji:

Quinn: No. My father would have had a conniption if I even entertained the idea of being acquainted with her.

Liv: Ohhhhhh

Liv: Romeo and Juliet vibes :laughing cat emoji: :laughing cat emoji: laughing cat emoji:

Quinn: I wanted nothing to do with her back then. Except when I could get her angry enough to storm off so I could watch her go.

Liv: So you kinda wanted something to do with her

Quinn: I wanted less to do with her than she wanted to do with me.

Liv: Omg was she in love with you

Quinn: She wanted me to fuck her in the locker room. Apparently on multiple occasions.

Liv: Jesus

Liv: that’s hot

Quinn: Spanking included

Liv: Well then

Quinn: Mmhmm

Liv: Well hopefully she’s just horny for you and not obsessed with you

Quinn: I've had worse people obsessed with me

Liv: Fair enough.

Liv: So what are you going to make her do?

Quinn: Haven't decided yet.

Liv: No fair

Quinn: I mean, she's given me so many ideas. Definitely like the idea of spanking her, getting her on her knees, not letting her up until I'm satisfied."

Liv: you could kill her between your legs and she probably wouldn’t care

Quinn: Probably

Liv: That’s a sacrifice I’d probably take too

Quinn: Is that so?

Liv: For sure

Quinn: Interesting.

Quinn: So, you and Frannie?

Liv: We’re friends because of Arin! Love that woman

Quinn: Okay, but like how are you two JUST NOW connecting? I mean, you and the queen of darkness have known each other for a while, right?

Liv: It just sort of happened, idk

Liv: the same way you spent your summers with my Blaine

Quinn: Excuse me what?

Liv: Blaine Anderson | Liv Anderson

Quinn: Bruh.

Liv: Tell me about it. I could have gotten into so many pants way sooner.

Quinn: So like, why weren't you?

Liv: You know, dads suck!

Quinn: Mood

Liv: I punched him in the face and he shipped me off to boarding school :sunglasses emoji:

Quinn: Damn, I wish

Quinn: I just write songs about mine

Liv: Mine doesn’t exist to me anymore so no songs need to be written

Liv: At least they are good!!!

Quinn: I'm sure I don't exist to him but that doesn't make the trauma and shit nonexistent

Liv: Neither does the drugs

Quinn: The drugs have very little to do with THAT bastard

Liv: Okay. My apologies.

Liv: They still don’t help trauma

Quinn: They stop the memories way more than you'd think

Liv: Doesn’t make it the way

Quinn: Yeah, well they work.

Liv: I know

Quinn: and that's the part that matters.

Quinn: so like how did you get her to make edibles?

Liv: I asked her

Quinn: What the ever loving fuck have I missed the last 9 months?

Liv: I don’t know LOL

Quinn: Neither do I.

Liv: The world just got smaller mostly.

Liv: and everyone is horny and kinky

Liv: Or both

Quinn: Both, definitely both.

Liv: Specially them Fabray girls

Quinn: Not all of us.

Liv: All of you dude

Quinn: Last a checked my not-so-closeted older sister is still in fact a sex free bitch. And as much as even I know kink isn't always sexual, Frannie might have an interested, but that definitely doesn't result in actually being willing.

Liv: An interest is enough for me to label you all kinky. That’s all.

Quinn: Okay then

Liv: And you are horny I’m sure

Quinn: nah, withdrawal sucks that shit right outta ya. Hoping I don't have to cancel Monday, honestly

Liv: omg that’d break her heart probably

Quinn: Probably

Liv: such power

Quinn: Mmhmm

Liv: if you cancel on her let’s hang out

Quinn: If I cancel on her it will be because I still feel like death

Liv: and I can’t take care of you?

Quinn: Why would you want to?

Liv: Friends take care of friends

Liv: I messaged you because I was hoping you’d let me come over to help you. It just also meant I could let Frannie know you are okay

Quinn: I'm fine, Liv, really. Just some extra shit I wasn't expecting to deal with.

Liv: You guys are so fucking frustrating holy shit

Liv: Okay. I get it. But I want to help. And I’m here for you. That’s all. You can believe it and I hope you would but I won’t force you.

Quinn: I know I am. Bea, if you know her is too. But what's frustrating about Frannie? Like, from a you perspective?

Quinn: I just don't need the help right now, okay? Go be a brat to someone who can handle it

Liv: She doesn’t take a single compliment.

Liv: I’m not being a brat I’m trying to be a friend

Quinn: Is there a reason you're trying that hard to compliment my sister?

Quinn: You're being a bratty friend.

Liv: It’s easy to?

Quinn: ... You like her don't you

Liv: We’re friends. Obviously I like her.

Quinn: Bitch, you know what I mean

Liv: I haven’t thought about it like that tbh

Liv: Maybe I do

Liv: That’s fun

Quinn: Does she know? Does she like you back? I need details bitch

Liv: You think she knows when I didn’t know?

Quinn: I don't know. Maybe? Like does she like you?

Liv: I mean she likes hanging out with me and made edibles with me

Quinn: Mmhm. And?

Liv: What do you mean and? We just chill a lot

Liv: And laugh a lot lol

Quinn: Okay. That's something. But also you're terrible at this. I'm gonna have to ask Arin. Arin knows these things.

Liv: Arin knows everything

Liv: I also don’t know anything right now outside the fact that I’m seconds from exploding

Quinn: Except how to fall in love with someone who WON'T cheat on her.

Quinn: Getting relief, I hope?

Liv: low blow

Liv: Maybe she can date Bea. Bea doesn’t know anyone but us.

Liv: Yes sooooon

Quinn: But the truth.

Quinn: Don't know how I feel about that. Though, pretty sure she had a crush on Arin when we were younger.

Quinn: oooh

Liv: I mean who didn’t have a crush on Arin? LOL

Liv: oooooh

Quinn: Frannie. And presumably Blaine.

Quinn: Who???

Liv: Wonder if Sugar did. She’s worse than anyone I know when it comes to realizing feelings LOL

Liv: Arin

Quinn: Sugar had it BAD. Like, literally got her ass beat multiple times with a book cos she refused to leave Arin alone. Now she just pretends to hate her for it.

Quinn: enjoy the queen of darkness, you both probbaly need it though like... does Frannie know?

Liv: LOLOLOLOLOLOl

Liv: Yeah, I think she knows. I mean I don’t know how she wouldn’t know.

Quinn: uh huh. and do you know if she reacted to this?

Liv: What do you mean?

Liv: I don’t know.

Liv: she said she didn’t need Arin

Quinn: I mean how did she react. Was it normal. Was it short. Did it take longer or faster than it should have.

Liv: She gets short a lot. I didn’t really note it as different

Liv: This is so much

Quinn: Well, when you have a chance, compare what everytime she's gotten short with you has in common and met me know

Liv: Quinn, I really like sex and she doesn’t

Liv: I don’t think we could ever work

Liv: it’s not that serious

Quinn: Look, I can't say why she's repulsed lord knows that's her story to tell, but she's on that site for a reason. A reason that I pray means what I think it does. Don't count her out because of her history.

Liv: I’m not counting her out. I just think you’ve got it all wrong.

Quinn: I don't think I do. But Arin will know more and I will get my answer. Just think over why she gets short with you.

Liv: Stubborn :sweat emoji:

Quinn: Fabray genetics. Running away, being attractive, a desire to be right.

Liv: can you like wait to bug arin until I’m done with her?

Quinn: You mean til she's done with you, but yeah, I'm gonna go pass out

Liv: goodnight Quinn :winking emoji:

Quinn: enjoy the queen of darkness

[ijustwant2write]

Delirious Confessions-Bucky Barnes x Stark!Reader

Requested by anonymous

Masterlist

(GIF credit to @bishopl)

Summary: ‘Can you write a Bucky Barnes imagine where his feelings for the reader come out when he gets hurt and is delirious from the pain medication as she watches over him and she confronts him about it later? Bonus if the reader is Tony Stark's sister and Tony and Steve are there for the original confession (Cap knows and keeps Tony away as they talk later)? Idk if that made sense but thanks anyway’

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Stark!Reader, Tony Stark x Reader (siblings), Steve Rogers x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Mention of bullets, blood, injuries, anaesthesia, operating, fluff

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“(Y/N), we’ve got an emergency coming in.” Helen informed me as she poked her head into my office.

“Emergency? From the mission?” I asked, trying to remain calm.

“Yeah, something went wrong on the mission, Sergeant Barnes has been shot.”

“OK, get the team set up, we’ll meet the others on the landing bay. How long will they be?”

“They’ll be landing in ten minutes.”

“Good, that’s enough time to get set up.”

I relaxed slightly, thankful that Bruce was on the scene to help. Bucky being a super soldier had an advantage, he would heal faster, however we would have to have more anaesthesia, more than usual anyway. But I was relieved that there was only one casualty, not that this wasn’t awful enough. I led my team to the landing bay, a stretcher and drip being pushed alongside us, Helen and I holding tablets that would monitor Bucky’s vitals. The ten minutes went by quickly, watching the jet land before we entered, getting help from Steve and Tony to get Bucky onto the stretcher. 

“What happened?” I asked, entrusting Helen to continue giving out orders.

“Ambush, they had more weapons than we accounted for, more powerful too. Bucky got into the firing line to save Nat.” Steve explained.

“OK, how many times was he hit?”

“Twice, shouldn’t be fatal though.” Tony inputted. 

“Alright. He’ll be fine, I’ll start operating straight away. Everyone else alright?”

“Yeah, just a couple of bruises.”

“Good, get some rest.” I hugged Tony, kissing him on the cheek. We always did this after his missions, even if he was coming back at two in morning I would wake up to greet him. I’d been so close to losing him on multiple occasions, I couldn’t lose my family.

Bucky was laying down on the bed, the nurses cutting off his clothes around his torso. There was a lot of blood, and it was clear to see where the bullets were. This was a procedure I had done many times, so I wasn’t nervous, but the only thing concerning me was how out of it Bucky was. He was slowly going under, and I knew he was going to be delirious long after. He hadn’t had an operation like this with us before, he was always nervous about this sort of thing after HYDRA. But it had to be done.

After a successful removal of the bullets, we left Bucky to rest for a few hours. I joined the Avengers to debrief their mission, having to add my notes to the meeting. Everyone was relieved to hear about Bucky’s recovery, and I was able to understand the situation clearly. It was selfless, he hadn’t hesitated to jump in the line of fire. I could see that Nat was feeling guilty, despite everyone reassuring her that it wasn’t her fault. After the meeting was finished, I took Steve and my brother to see Bucky, assuming that he would be awake by now. Anyone could see Steve was worried, despite Bucky being fine. Though I would be the same if it was Tony, Bucky was family to him.

As we entered his hospital room, Bucky was sat up in bed, looking down at his injuries, his head lulling. He was still drowsy and I wasn’t expecting him to even speak.

“How you feeling Buck?” Steve asked.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” Bucky mumbled.

We looked at each other, wondering why he was asking for me.“I’m right here Bucky. What’s wrong, do you need some painkillers?”

“No, I’m fine. But I need to tell you something.”

“OK.” I stood beside him.“What is it?”

“I just...I need to tell you that...” his eyes were closed as his head dropped back onto his pillow. He took a deep breath before speaking again.“I’m not good at this. I needed to tell you that I have feelings for you.”

My eyes widened, cheeks blushing.

“I’ve kept them hidden because, well because you’re amazing, and I didn’t think you would go out with a guy like me. A...a guy who...who has a metal arm, who has done the things I’ve done. You’re so caring, and beautiful, and smart and...and so much more.”

Steve and Tony watched on in shock, my brother’s expression unreadable. Was Bucky actually confessing something true or was he too drugged up to realise?

“I had to get this out because I wasn’t sure what was going to happen to me. And I’ll never know, especially in this line of work. I’ve had these feelings for a long time and for some reason it felt right to tell you.”

“Bucky, I think you need to rest, take some more time to sleep it off.” Steve stepped in, sensing the tension. 

Bucky slowly nodded, settling back down as I checked his vitals again, following Tony and Steve out of the room. I was speechless. What just happened? Bucky had confessed how he felt about me. I had never had any indication to this. Sure, he was a good friend of mine, we had cleared up everything after the accords, but having feelings for each other? I hadn’t ever put much thought into that; well maybe a little. Though no one needed to know that. It would be unprofessional, maybe it would mess up the team...or perhaps not.

The three of us were stood in the kitchen, silenced by Bucky’s confession. I started making coffee for everyone, almost as a distraction from what just happened. I wondered whether to speak up about it, or to just let it slide. I mean, we were all there, we all knew what he had said.

“He was delusional right?” I started.“I mean, he’s under a lot of anaesthesia, he could say anything.”

“But his words were very specific.” Tony pointed out.“They weren’t muddled up or random sentences. He knew what he was wanting to say.” 

“Tony, why would Bucky-”

“Why would he like you? You heard what he said, all those things he told you.”

“Is it really that important at this moment in time?”

“Well yes.”

“Tony, I think we need to drop it for now.” Steve interrupted.“Let Bucky recover and get them to talk it out between them. I understand you’re looking out for your sister, but she is an adult.”

“I know but...it was out of the blue. You know what he did-”

“Tony!” I snapped.“We don’t talk about that anymore, we got past that. Look, just drop it, it’s not like he confessed his feelings to you.”

“I’m just being protective, you know I won’t control this.”

“Good. Speaking of which, I need to consult my team. I’ll see you guys later.”

Even though I desperately tried to not think about it, Bucky’s words kept on repeating. Obviously I didn’t mention this to my colleagues, out of sheer embarrassment as well as having no relativity to his condition. He was babbling away like anyone else under heavy anaesthesia. That’s what I kept saying anyway. He looked so vulnerable, scared that this was the last chance to tell me all these things. The last time I saw that look on his face was when he first arrived at the base, having to take residency here as he began his recovery from being the Winter Soldier. 

Tucking my tablet under my arm, I made my way back to Bucky’s hospital bed, wanting to check on him again. It had been a few more hours since his confession, and I had to check on him anyway; I was scared that if anyone else did he would say the same things about me, and rumours and gossip would start to circulate. I flinched as someone suddenly walked out of a room to my right, and I was surprised when I realised ti was Tony.

“What are you doing down here?” I asked nicely.

“Thought you might want the company.” he simply replied.

“Oh, so it has nothing to do with the fact that I could be going to see Bucky?”

“No, not at all.”

“Tony,” Steve now appeared,“we need your help.”

“Really? What with?” he didn’t look phased.

“Bruce has found something. Wouldn’t explain it to me, said I wouldn’t understand.”

“I’ll be up in five.”

“No, he needs you now.” 

“Go on, Bruce needs you.” I urged.

He hesitated, quietly sighing as he walked to Steve. Once he had his back turned towards me, I smiled at Steve, subtly nodding. He did so back to me, knowing why Tony was really following me. I wouldn’t have got rid of my brother easily by myself, thank god Steve was good at reading people.

Quietly entering Bucky’s hospital room, I wasn’t sure if I was pleased or not to see him awake. I was nervous now. Did he remember what he said? Would he even bring it up again?

“Hey, how are you feeling?” I asked, checking the monitors around him.

His voice was hoarse.“Drowsy. The cuts are slightly aching but nothing too extreme.”

“Good. You’ll be back up in no time.” I smiled.

“Thank you (Y/N), for fixing me.”

“Fixing you, that’s the first time I’ve heard that term.”

“You really did though.” We stayed silent for a few seconds until he spoke again.“(Y/N), I know what I said before, even if I looked like a lunatic.”

I stopped what I was doing, turning to face him.“You do?”

“Yeah. Everything was true. I never meant for it to come out like this but I’m glad it finally did. Steve has been on my case for a while.”

“Steve knew?”

“I think everyone knew, or had a feeling about it.”

I perched on the bed beside him, realising the seriousness of this.“So how come you never told me before? We’re friends, I would have listened.”

“It’s not exactly easy to tell a woman you like about your feelings, especially out of the blue.”

My head ducked down, blushing again.“No, I guess not. I would have done the same thing.”

“We’re hopeless at this.” he chuckled.

“Yep. I was never one for the boys, I was always the nerdy, introverted girl that no one wanted to go out with. I had my head too much in my books studying.”

“That just meant that those guys didn’t see your potential. They’re stupid for not seeing you for who you are.”

I finally looked at him.“I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me. You really have a way with words.”

“Well I had time to think about what I was going to say.”

“So you really meant it?”

“Every word. I haven’t been this seriously injured in a while, it put everything into perspective. I can’t waste anymore time, not after what I’ve been through.”

“And I won’t either. Work has always come first, never myself. I have to change that too.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I mean, it’s very out of the blue. Maybe we should take things slow, see where this goes.”

“I understand, I wouldn’t expect us to rush into anything. Especially since your brother won’t be a big fan at first.”

“At first?”

“I’ll bring him round, don’t you worry.”

“Wow, that’s a bold statement. I’ll hold you to that, rather you than me.”

“Well if he doesn’t like it and takes it out on me, I’ll rely on you to look after me.”

“And I’ll be waiting, bandages in hand just in case.”

[myukulelegentlyweeps]

Nowhere Man (Part II)

Author’s note : ‘Tis here! This story is so great, I kind of want to make a multiple part fic with it. What do you guys think? [Also, go read Part I and Part I bis if you haven’t already!]

Pairing : George Harrison x female reader

Summary : The reader has become very close with George over a short period of time and they have a beautiful friendship...Will it become something more?

Word count : 1094

Warnings : none, I think? I mean, same as part I, if you don’t like reading about soulmates, the universe and all that, you will probably not like this, but Idk

There was something about George Harrison. Something you could not quite put your finger on, a vibration, an aura, it fascinated and magnetised you. You had not known each other for long, yet somehow he felt like a childhood friend, as though you had been close before and were merely rediscovering one another after having spent time apart. All in all, he smelled like home. 

You dipped a biscuit into your tea as you glanced out of the window of the coffee shop, waiting to see him appear on the corner of the street. It was a cloudy afternoon. It had been almost a month and a half since your first encounter ; you met with him at least once a week now, usually on Friday evenings like these, at around six p.m. when he got out of the studio. Considering the circumstances, one could have expected him to be exhausted when he sat down with you after a long week of stressful recording - but no matter how worn out he looked physically, with his all but neat shave and the dark circles under his eyes, he always seemed to lighten up when he was around you. Though some days he was less talkative than others, not once did he fail to smile and make you smile in turn, with the dashes of his witty sense of humour.

He was such a kind and gentle soul. You could hear it in his deep, warm toned voice and in his choice of words. You saw it in every one of his mannerisms, the way his fingers lightly traced geometrical shapes on the table when he explained something, the quiet nods he gave you to signify he was listening, the soft touch of his hand brushing your stray hairs behind your ear, tucking in a flower on occasion. He reminded you of a character straight out of a children’s book, or a poem. 

You heard the noise of a chair being pulled and substracted yourself from your reverie to look at a grinning George now seated in front of you. He appeared less tired than usual, and you soon understood why : the Beatles had just spent the day recording I Me Mine, the song he had specifically written as a commentary on Paul and John’s selfishness. He had told you about it just two weeks prior, saying he was not usually this bitter but could not wait to get his bandmates to harmonize with him while he (quite blatantly) criticised them. 

“Congratulations!”, you laughed, “I will drink to your victory.” You elevated your cup in his direction and sipped your tea as you would champagne. The waitress came to your table and he ordered himself a hot chocolate with loads of whipped cream on top, as a way to celebrate, you supposed. He could eat anything and keep the silhouette of an underwear supermodel, which you envied him for. The mug they brought him resembled a bathtub, and you asked him if he would be able to finish it, to which he replied “Oh (Y/n), you don’t know me at all, do you?” Indeed, he gulped it all down just fine, and it left enough room in his stomach for him to steal a biscuit from your plate. 

As per usual, you sustained a long conversation, this time revolving around the themes of alternate realities, spirituality and life after death. Though you did not agree on everything, your positions complemented each other and you found it very easy to open up to him about your beliefs, sensing his true interest in your words and the lack of judgement in his gaze. Eventually it became completely dark outside and you stood up to leave, it was late and you had to wake up early the next morning to study for your midterms. You were ready to hug him goodbye but he smiled cheekily and seized your hand instead, suggesting he could walk you home.

You exited the cafe hand in hand. Street lights were already on and cast a yellow gleam on the pavement, through the thin layer of fog floating just above the ground. Nightfall had caused the temperature to drop significantly, and the humidity did not help. As you had not planned on staying out this late, all you had with you was a large but thin cotton scarf which you attempted to wrap around your shoulders discreetly, so as to not be seen by George - he himself only had a jean jacket and you wanted to avoid the typical romantic film scene in which the poor man ends up freezing for the sake of the woman. Nevertheless, he was observant by nature and noticed your shivering ; he proceeded to wrap his arm around your waist and bring you closer to him. Soon, your two bodies stuck together in this manner began to function as one, in perfect synchrony, your pace adjusted to his, you bathed in his warmth and your perfume intertwined with the distinctive smell of his cologne. His heart must be beating slower than mine, though, you thought.

“Do you believe in soulmates?”, he asked after a few minutes of silence. At first you were unsure what or how to answer - a month and a half ago, you might have simply said no, as you had always been convinced the idea of a soulmate was made up by people too lazy to make a relationship work through effort. But being with George felt so...effortless, precisely. He put you at ease without having to say a word, you loved him more than you knew you could love, and although you could not be sure he felt the same way, a part of you was convinced he did, in spite of the current platonic state of the friendship. Finally, after a few seconds of premeditation, you said : “I don’t know if it is to be called a soulmate, properly speaking, but I think there are people who bring out the light in us in a very special way. I don’t know...What do you think?”

He did not reply right away. Your building was just two doors away now but you did not want to say so, nursing a silly hope that your parting could somehow be avoided. You walked past your door and didn’t say a word. You were waiting. Waiting for what? After all, how could you have predicted what came next : almost reaching the end of your block, he stopped, pulled away to face you and kissed you fervently.

[an-everything-blog]

It’s Always Been You

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Warnings: Smut, some angst if you squint

Summary: After the fight in Civil War, you and Tony are trying to hide from the government from breaking the law so you resort to multiple motels and an old run-down truck. Tony has underlying feelings for you and you cannot stop yourself from falling in love with him.

Word Count: 3.9K

Author’s Note: I’m back! Again... But seriously, ever since the first trailer of End Game came out I’ve been getting major Tony vibes idk why. I have always loved him, but now since I know he’s about to be done I just need to write about him. Although I haven’t seen End Game yet, I know I’m bout to die when I see it so I made this to prepare myself. Hope you guys enjoy! Please let me know what you think!!

-

The car ride was silent, save for the soft rumbling from the old run-down truck Tony somehow managed to attain. The truck being much different than what the two of you were used to. You both had to settle for the dated Ford to go unnoticed by the government. After the intense battle between the Avengers, you and Tony were left in Siberia on that cold concrete, broken, bloody and empty.

You had never intended things to end up how they did. You didn’t want to pick a side because you loved both Steve and Tony. But when worst came to worst and they started throwing punches, you couldn’t just stand there whilst they beat Tony almost to death. You had an extensive history with Tony. He was the one who had believed in you when no one else did. Originally you had intended to stop the three after Tony found out about his parents, but it just got so out of hand. Bucky had banged you up pretty good. Your face covered in your own blood, a few ribs probably broken and your elbow was throbbing wildly. You managed to do about the same amount of damage to him though. You could tell he didn’t want to and you didn’t want to either as you were crying and yelling “please stop” as you were fighting. You understood he was just trying to protect himself. You wish it hadn’t have to be this way.

After Steve had dragged Bucky away, Tony frantically looked around for you. Once he spotted you lying on the floor motionless, he panicked and managed to claw his way over to you while yelling your name.

“(Y/n), wake up!” Tony’s metal clad fingers grasped your head turning you toward him. You lazily opened your eyes and smiled up at him. You couldn’t help it. He was like a breath of fresh air every time you saw him. Even with the cuts and bruises all over his face he still looked beautiful.

“Hey there Boss-man.” You said gently, seeming like you just woke from a nap.

“God, (Y/n) you alright?” He exclaimed too loud. He couldn’t help himself. He cared about you way more than you would ever know. And now you’re hurt and it’s all his fault. He did this to you.

“Of course I am. I always am. You look awful though.” You giggled. He gave a soft puff of breath as he shook his head.

“Let’s get you out of here.” He mumbled while softly pulling you up.

-

Two weeks pass and you’ve been to an abundance of motels resting and traveling. Never staying in the same place for too long. Many people believe you both to be dead. The government is still looking though. You and Tony technically broke the law, so you’ve been running since. Now you and Tony have been on the road for two days. He hasn’t said more than a sentence to you since that day in Siberia. Usually just one word answers. He suddenly became stern with his brows furrowed constantly, instead of his usual cocky smirk. You can tell that he’s sad through his eyes. He tries to seem intense, but it makes you sad to see him like this. You hope it’s not because of something you did during the fight, but you always reassure yourself that it’s from the recent events with the Avengers. You wish you could make him smile again like past times, you just don’t know how to get through to him yet.

-

You're back in Siberia, watching Steve and Bucky hit Tony repeatedly. You try to move but can’t. Something is tying you down, but can’t see what. All you can see is the blood coming from Tony’s mouth as Steve hits him across the face again. You scream at them to stop, but it seems they just hit him harder. Your throat begins to burn and you feel yourself crying. From a distance you hear Tony grunting with every punch and kick and your stomach turns. You pull against your restraints harder, but to no avail. You feel so useless and guilty for not being able to help Tony. Suddenly Tony makes solid eye contact with you and you can tell he’s hurting badly. He calmly tells you that it will be okay before another swift kick was put in his side and you scream. You’re so unbelievably frustrated and distraught and you can’t watch anymore as Tony falls to the ground. You are sobbing Tony’s name.

Tony awakes to his name. He jumps up and looks around realizing where he is. He looks over and sees you grunting and turning in your separate bed of the motel room. You had tried on many occasions to get a single bed just to save you both money, but he refused, not wanting to get close to you in fear he will somehow hurt you again.

“Tony!” You sobbed his name and his heart clenches. He doesn’t know what you’re dreaming about, but he hopes you aren’t scared of him. He wants to comfort you so badly and make the pain go away. He convinces himself that he doesn’t deserve you. He’s the one that got you into this mess.

A heart wrenching scream is what broke his trance of watching you and he decided he couldn’t take it anymore. He sped to your side and sat on the bed. He grabbed ahold of your arm and he called your name, his voice thick and strained. He was getting pretty emotional seeing you like this.

You gasped awake quickly realizing it was just a night terror. You opened your eyes wide looking all around the room before you realized Tony was speaking to you. You looked right into his eyes and saw how worried he seemed. You instantly got a flashback to your nightmare of him looking at you, telling you it’s okay. This made you burst into tears as you reached for him. For a second Tony froze not knowing how he should react. Then throwing caution out the window he wrapped his arms around you tightly, giving you the comfort you needed.

“Shhh it’s okay, Honey.” He whispered running the tips of his fingers down your arm.

“They just k-kept hitting you no matter how many times I told them to stop. They wouldn’t stop Tony.” You hiccuped, tears still streaming down your face. Though Tony was relieved that you weren’t scared of him, it also hurt him to know that you were having these dreams about him.

“I’m alright, I’m just fine and so are you. We’re okay Dear.” Tony reassured confidently. Your skin was so soft it made Tony warm. At this time he took the time to look at you closely. He’s never really gotten this close to you. Not as intimately as this. He noticed your eyelashes blinking rapidly to try and stop the tears. It seemed time went in slow motion watching them bat gracefully against your soft looking cheeks. He had only now noticed how bright your eyes got in color when they were filled with tears. He never expected someone to look so beautiful whilst in so much pain. It tore his heart two separate ways. Looking further down to your lips he was mesmerized. He was so close to you now, he noticed they were dark probably from them being bitten on, yet they looked soft like butter. He had the strongest urge to press his lips to yours. He knew it was wrong, but he just couldn’t help the thoughts racing through his head.

Just as you went to thank him for helping you, he gently grazed his lips on yours. You took a slight intake of breath before you urgently pressed your lips firmly to his. He let out a surprised grunt before kissing back with just as much urgency. Your shaky hand traveled lightly from his messy locks of hair down slowly to rest at his chest right in the center where his ARC reactor would’ve been. This subtle action made Tony shutter lightly. He was right, your lips were just as soft as he imagined. In his eyes you were so perfect and so unbelievably smart. He was definitely the farthest thing from perfect. He’s the one that got you hurt. He’s the one that gave you this trauma.

Suddenly all at once he realized what he was doing and pulled away abruptly. Confused you opened your eyes and looked up at Tony. He looked so frightened. It was the kinda look he gave Steve as he drove his shield into Tonys ARC reactor.

“Tony? What is it? What’s wrong?” You questioned eyes wide and worried.

“I uh- I need to go get supplies... For the morning.” He explained as if in a daze, moving as far away from you as he could. You glanced at the clock that read 4:22 AM. You shook your head confused.

“Tony what are you talking about? We can just go on our way out...” You said your cheeks getting warm with the realization of what you two just did.

“I’ll be back.” He stated with no further explanation.

“Tony!-“ He shut the door before you could say another word to him.

Maybe he didn't mean to kiss you. You immediately thought. What if he was just trying to make you feel better and he didn’t like you like that? Your stomach twisted uncomfortably at that thought. You tried calling him on his cheap cell phone, but of course he didn’t answer. You worried your bottom lip, the feel of Tony still there. You ended up falling asleep waiting for him to get back. Hoping he would come back.

-

“One room with two beds please.” Tony asked the receptionist at the front desk of the motel. It had been about a month that’s past since that night, and things came to an abrupt stop between you two. You had tried to apologize to him the next morning when he finally came back, but he quickly shut it down just telling you to forget about it. You didn’t forget though. It’s all you thought about. You couldn’t recall a time where you felt safer, happier than in his arms that night. Ever since then it’s been silent between you two. Just traveling and sleeping.

There was one time you were pretending to sleep in the truck and you felt his thumb graze your cheek as he sighed. Immediately it gave you goosebumps and your heart clenched. You didn’t know what it meant because you had began to think that he hated you. He refused to speak to you or even smile at you anymore. It made you sad at times because you wanted nothing more than to be close with him. You think of times before the fight when you would grab him his favorite breakfast after he had been working all night. He would always have a surprised look on his face as you brought the box of Randy’s Donuts with a black coffee into his work space. He would always ask you to stay to share the donuts with him and of course you would because it’s Tony and you can never say no to him.

“I’m sorry Sir, we only have one room left and it’s a single bed.” The lady apologized. Your body began to buzz at the thought of sharing a bed with Tony.

“You don’t have any other rooms?” He sighed in frustration.

“We are very busy this time of year.” The receptionist explained. Tony stood there for a few moments before turning to leave.

“We’re going to the next one.” Tony stated to you. You grunted in frustration.

“That’s not for another 50 miles!” You tried to reason with him, but he just shrugged his shoulders. You groaned as tears started to form in your eyes. Were you really that revolting? You just wanted to sleep in a bed, your back hurt from sitting in that damn truck all the time.

“I am exhausted, and I know you are too. Anthony, please.” You whispered the last part while holding on to his arm gently. He sighed while weighing out his options. He knew you were tired of this. He just wishes he could gave you a better life than what it is right now. The way you whispered his name had him sighing for a whole different reason. You were too beautiful for your own good.

“Alright. Just for tonight.” He concluded, stepping away from you to get the key.

-

“What are you doing?” You questioned Tony as he grabbed a pillow and the extra blankets.

“I’m sleeping on the floor. No biggie.” Tony said unfolding the blanket.

“Tony, no. Are we not adults? You’re sleeping in the bed, come on it’s only for a few hours. You’ll thank me when your back isn’t hurting tomorrow.” You say patting the bed. He sighed and grabbed the pillow off the floor.

As you both got settled under the covers you shivered at the warmth radiating from Tony from the other side of the queen sized bed.

“Goodnight Boss-man.” You sighed sadly at the nickname that you used to call him all the time. He turned away from you and just as you closed your eyes thinking he wouldn’t respond to you like always, he said:

“Goodnight, Dear.”

-

Your eyes snapped open from a dream you had. You had dreamt of the night about a month ago with Tony’s softened lips grazing over yours. It was urgent and gentle at the same time. The kind of kiss that you don’t want to stop. The next thing you knew he was leaving you again and you guess it scared you so much that you woke up. You took a few deep breaths and looked to your left to make sure he was still there with the help of the bathroom light that was left on.

Tony must’ve moved in his sleep because he is now facing you with his arm delicately draped over his stomach. Your chest burned as you looked at his peaceful expression. His facial hair has long since gotten a little unkept. He still tries to trim it like it was, but it’s not the same. You think he looks better like this. Gives him a bit more humanity in some way. He’s close enough that you can feel his soft breaths dance across your skin. You study the way his lips are curved into a resting line and you almost touch them with your fingers to see if they’re still as soft as you remember. You wish you could stay like this forever just so you could study him without him wanting to leave you.

You want to touch him so badly. Before today, you haven’t had actual human contact in weeks. You were becoming touch-starved from the man that you loved. His hair flicked out in random places and you couldn’t help but run your fingers gently through his fluffy locks. Tony stirred a bit and you focused on his expression. You found the faintest hint of a smile and you exhaled smiling as well.

You decided that you didn’t care anymore. You subtly moved closer to Tony and gently placed your head on his shoulder. You were close enough to hear his heart beat through his old t-shirt. His warmth gave you instant calmness and the rhythm of his heartbeat gave you peace.

-

Tony slowly blinked awake from the morning sunlight peeking through the window. As he opened his eyes further he noticed a warm weight on his shoulder.

“Hey Boss-man.” You were looking up at him, studying him.

“(Y/n), what are you doing?” Tony asked confused. He didn't know why you would even want to be touching him right now. He figured you wouldn't want anything to do with him.

“Anthony, you’re beautiful. I hope you know that.” You state softly, but honestly. Tony scanned your whole face quickly to check for any lie, but found none. His chest burned as he made eye-contact.

“(Y/n)-“ Tony tried to say, but you cut him off by pressing your lips to his. He immediately molded to your form with just as much urgency. His hand ran through your hair onto the back of your head to pull you up to him. You quickly threw a leg over him and sat on his lap without breaking contact. Your hands were traveling everywhere. From his hair down to his chest. The kiss was wet, soft, and passionate all at once. All of these pent up emotions were spilling out of the both of you and you began to subtly roll your hips against his. He was just so amazing in every way not to mention so handsome. This action did not go unnoticed by Tony.

“(Y/n)..” Tony breathed after gently pulling away. You wouldn’t let him continue.

“Tony please. Please let me in. I want this so badly. I want you. Please just let me have you. Please Tony.” You pleaded desperately. You couldn’t have him reject you. Not again. You don’t think your heart can take it. Tony looked at you and almost looked sad for a moment before he gave a small smile and nodded.

“Okay. It’s okay Honey. I’ll take care of you now. I’ve got you.” He spoke quietly while looking at you intently. You nodded as your eyes began to water from finally getting what you wanted. You pressed your lips back to his as he gripped the bottom of your shirt and swiftly took it off. Immediately his eyes were drawn to your bare breasts. He gave them each a peck before circling your nipples. You sighed in content as you reached for his shirt as well. Looking at the scar from Tony’s ARC reactor you decided to gently place a kiss right in the center. He looked up to the ceiling and gave a small moan. Your core burned as you reached for his pants. You felt his length through his sleeping pants and he shuttered at the light touch. You could tell Tony was touch-starved as well. After his pants fell to the floor you began to pump him slowly as he quickly discarded your shorts.

His chest was pressed to yours as he flipped you both on the bed. He began to study your face as his hand traced down your body to your most sensitive area. You gasped as he ran a single finger through your slick.

“So wet for me Angel.” He whispered bringing his hand up to show you before placing it in his mouth, groaning.

“So, so good.” He breathed, his fingers going back down for more. He circled your clit slowly at first before progressively getting faster. You were moaning and whimpering like a mess and Tony loved it.

“Tony, please.” You whined.

“What is it Honey? What do you need? You need my fingers? Is that it?” Tony was whispering in your ear and you were nodding and moaning against him. He chuckled before adding a single finger as his thumb was still playing with your clit. Soon he had three fingers in and you were nearing your release. You began to buck against his fingers as you started to moan his name.

“That’s it Angel, cum all over my fingers. Go ahead.” Tony encouraged. Your core began to spasm and squeeze over his fingers. It took everything in him not to blow his load right then watching you. As you began to calm down from your orgasm, you saw Tony sucking on his fingers. It made you moan watching him.

“Tony. Please fuck me. Please.” You whined. Tony smirked for the first time in a long time. It was pleasing to see.

“Alright Dear. You want my cock?” He questioned while running the warm head of his length through your pussy lips. You moaned and nodded quickly.

Tony slowly pushed in and you whimpered. He was so much bigger than you imagined. It felt so good to be stretched like this. Tony gave his own moan as he bottomed out. You felt heavenly and he was trying his best to calm himself. After a few moments he pulled out and pushed in slowly.

“Fuck (Y/n), you feel amazing.” He chuckled breathlessly. You smiled and squeezed your core bringing a grunt out of Tony. You two started out a slow but firm pace. His chest was grazing yours and you’ve never felt more close to Tony. You could feel your wetness on Tony’s stomach as he began to fuck you faster. You were mewling Tony’s name as you dug your heels into Tony’s ass to get him to go in deeper. The sound of your wetness each time Tony pumped into you had your core on fire. 

“Taking me so well. Taking my cock so good.” He groaned hitting deep in your core. Your orgasm was building rapidly as he continued pumping into you quickly and you couldn’t get enough.

“Tony, shit. I’m getting close.” You moan pulling at his hair. He immediately brought his hand down to your clit and began massaging you.

“Go on. Cum on me all over again. Cum hard. You can do it Angel. That’s it. There we go.” Tony was moaning as he felt you clenching over his dick. You felt yourself gushing and spasming all at once and you couldn’t remember the last time you came that hard. You were whining from your second orgasm and you could tell Tony was just about to his.

“Please cum in me Anthony. I want your cum.” You whispered sensually. His hips stuttered as he moaned.

“Jesus (Y/n).” He grunted pushing in one more time before filling you up with his seed. You moaned at the warmth seeping out of you as Tony slowly came to a stop. Tony gave you one last gentle kiss before pulling out and going to grab a small towel.

“Tony, I need you to know something.” You say after he settled back into bed. He looked at you almost scared. He didn’t want you to say that was a one time thing. That would break him.

“Look, I don’t know if you dislike me or hate me or what's going on with you because you haven’t spoken to me in over a month, but I love you Tony. I’m in love with you. It’s always been you. Even if you don't love me, I can't help but be in love with you. You're so much more than you think you are.” You finished quietly. His eyebrows were raised in shock, then squinted in confusion and your stomach was doing summersaults because you had no idea how he would react.

“(Y/n)... I could never hate you. I was the reason you got so badly hurt in Siberia. You got hurt and that was on me. I couldn’t forgive myself. I don't deserve someone a brilliant and beautiful as you.” Tony explained looking away. You grunted distastefully.

“Tony, that was not your fault. I chose to defend you because I care deeply about you and I wasn’t about to watch as you all beat the shit out of each other. I will always be on your side.” You say grasping his hand. he looked down at you in the bed and leaned down to kiss you.

“I love you too (Y/n). Always have.” Tony said breaking the kiss. You grinned up at him and he grinned back and this time, it reached his eyes and it made your heart flutter.

So yeah, maybe the world is shit right now and the avengers are broken and the government is searching for all of you, but you and Tony have each other and that’s all you can ask for.

[thegeminisage]

i’m gonna liveblog my rewatch of 2.08 because i can

it’s stupid long so here’s the cut

just to give you an idea of how fast this switch flipped for me at the start of this episode when uther is like “u will find no one who embodies nobleness better than my son arthur” i went “PFFFFFT” & had a good chortle

i have a lot to say about this duel challenge sequence. 1. why are strangers always coming in and tossing their glove on the floor. everyone in that room is armed. just take them out! 2. arthur picks up the glove first this time, unlike 1.03. guess he can learn after all 3. he does it BEFORE SEEING HER FACE god classic he’s so fucking stupid

everyone getting their panties in a twist over having to fight a WOMAN when in reality she goes on to kick his ass is like...both tiresome & hilarious

i used to really be on the fence about the Vibe between merlin & arthur because while they seemed quite happy to die for one another from the get-go most of the time arthur is just being MEAN and merlin isn’t as mean back and it’s like :/ ok i don’t get what everyone else is so heart-eyes over. but in 2.08 they do a lot of confiding in one another and just general talking about plot-stuff where arthur’s insults are...not absent, but kept to a minimum, and idk it’s nice! it’s nice. less like arthur is a massive bully and more like they’re Companions. i’m not hopeful about it lasting bc this show doesn’t know the meaning of the words “consist continuity” but it was reeeeeaally good here

arthur’s face when he lost to a G I R L and uther just walked out with no comment. even back when i still hated him i was like “ouch”

that being said it was a welcome change of pace to see merlin giving ARTHUR shit for once. finally

upon morgause and morgana’s first meeting when morgause says “i hope you will remember me fondly” i went “WOW THAT’S GAY” because i didn’t KNOW and cathy told me later she had to put her head in her hands for five whole minutes. don’t shoot me i’m just the messenger they’re the ones who wrote it that way

my favorite thing about morgause is that i couldn’t immediately figure her out. i’m in the habit of throwing out guesses about future plot points for fun, because i’m a writer and that’s how i deconstruct things, and since this show was kind of meant to be kid-friendly i’m usually right. but as far as morgause went...i didn’t have a clue. i had NO IDEA this whole ep would be like this

i’ve said this before (not on this blog tho) but arthur is like...really eager to die. i keep joking that he has a death wish but upon further reflection i don’t think he’s actively seeking to end his life as much as he would be relieved to die for something noble like honor or whatever because then he would have...done it right, if that makes any sense, and wouldn’t have to worry about screwing it up anymore. he doesn’t want to die but he craves a good death. to prove to his dad and himself that he’s made of the right stuff?? i’m not being very clear. this concept requires more thought

it’s REALLY a lot for me that uther would rather throw arthur in his own chambers than have him find out about ygraine. yyyyikes

merlin sneaking in that rope was so cute. he finally got the group’s communal braincell for a few minutes

on the other hand after the troll episodes i am SO tired of dung being played for laughs. i really suffered

also man i’m so glad morgana finally got some sleep it’s what she deserves

this Dead Parent talk really mcmurdered me. both merlin and arthur lost a parent when they were very young & they now cannot remember said parent and we HAVE THAT IN COMMON so every single word they said was like an arrow straight to my heart!!!!!!! like as good as the ending to this episode was (and OH it was good OHHHHH it was GOOD) i think this right here is what truly softened me up towards arthur. this is relatability, this is emotional vulnerability, this is a genuine human connection made between EQUALS and frankly it’s exactly what i’ve been wanting from these guys for a season and a half. their willingness to die for each other is good stuff to be sure but it’s EMPTY without some meat to back it up & we’re finally getting what we deserve

“i’d do anything for even the vaguest memory” like they didn’t have to go that hard & read me for filth like that but they did. they did. arthur. babe. my guy.

almost every time someone comes in to speak with uther he’s eating and he has like an entire mini-banquet in front of him even though he’s all by himself. like, an entire plate of grapes, a whole-ass chicken, an intact loaf of bread, a bowl FILLED with whole uncut apples...wtf??

“what would YOU know about magic, merlin?” “nothing ;)” i did have a good chortle truly

i’ve already made my points about arthur and a good death but MAN he was hasty to put his head on that chopping block for no good fucking reason at all. holy shit. him casually doing that swing-thing he does with his sword to the axe ahead of time really adds a lot to this entire thing and also aged me ten years

when arthur was like “what if my father’s attitude towards magic is wrong” and “surely not everyone who practices magic can be evil” i gasped so fucking loud. so fucking loud

and the worst part is you can practically feel merlin’s heartbeat pick up. just LOOK at his “wtf am i hearing is this for real could my dreams actually come true” face. but at the same time, he’s got to be the one with a healthy suspicion here because arthur is in over his head. so he STILL can’t trust it. and then naturally it goes to hell so quickly that the chance for merlin to confide in arthur is lost. i can’t believe this took 4 irl years and five seasons. watching this live must have been like TORTURE. i’m practically bingeing it and i’m still suffering deeply

it’s very odd to me that arthur specifically said his mother died before he opened his eyes but the first thing ygraine says to him is that she remembers him staring up at her. to me that’s an obvious clue that she’s a fake, and the cutaway during that line to merlin’s face tells me he had the same suspicion (and that he’s kind of horrified by it)

ARTHUR FEELS SO GUILTY FOR HER DYING AND I’M ALSO DYING AND SLDFKMGHLSKDFJH

i know for a fact that ygraine’s telling of these events is slightly altered from the truth too...there’s no way that uther would have been so overcome with grief that he went on to commit genocide if he knew beforehand that his wife would die and was willing to sacrifice her

on the other hand, there’s also a cutaway to morgause’s face during this speech in which she looks surprised or confused at what ygraine says, which doesn’t add up if she was pulling these strings, so...What Is The Truth

not to be like this but merlin bearing witness to this whole series of events is like...there’s some things that once you go through them with somebody things between you change and there’s a new intimacy there...i don’t expect much from a show that likes to return to the status quo but in my heart it’s how i feel

OH BOY HERE WE GO. arthur arrives in camelot and pulls his sword out as soon as he leaves his horse leaving a visibly spooked merlin behind him this is the STUFF

“arthur was born of magic” is really a hell of a line because even though i already knew this backstory i hadn’t stopped to consider it like that...no, magic is not a crucial part of arthur’s identity and how he views himself the way it is for merlin and morgana, but it’s still a part of his history and what made him who he is, that made him alive and different from other people. his hatred and fear of it becomes so much more tragic in that light. i think also there was such a clear line drown before between people who are magic and people who are not and for me, mentally, arthur kind of...swapped sides, or is at least straddling the border

merlin’s absolute FURY at uther’s hypocrisy is like...........fucking. another thing i wanted to see for a season and a half. imo there’s not nearly enough meat to the fact that merlin is magic and ultimately serves uther who is trying to decimate him and his kind - has actually SAVED UTHER'S LIFE on MULTIPLE occasions. this is the first time this show actually went “hey uther is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people and that’s really not at all ok” and i am SO into it. like, no, he’s not misguided. he’s not “just grieving.” he’s a murderer. he’s responsible for genocide.

the final 9 minutes of this episode feature arthur pendragon being absolutely FURIOUS. he’s LIVID. he’s PISSED. and i love it more than anything else this show has done so far

i genuinely, truly believed he didn’t have this in him. never in my WILDEST DREAMS could i have imagined arthur doing this. i had written it off as the stuff of fanfics. but holy shit my man snapped

HE👏DID👏THAT👏

reasons i did not see this coming at all even a little: 1. i figured there was no way arthur would get over his anti-magic thing until near the end (i know it must come back later, but STILL) 2. i did not believe for one second he could ever seriously stand up to his father for more than a few minutes at a time 3. most of what’s making arthur so goddamn pissed is that he thinks his dad killed his mom on purpose but he’s also showing a fair amount of horror at the fact that uther hunted down and killed everyone even remotely associated with sorcery like animals. do you know what that is? does anybody else understand the enormity of this? HE IS SHOWING EMPATHY. i DID NOT believe he was capable of it.

i do feel a way about how uther started this scene from a place of cool confidence - he was handing out orders, “leave us and no one comes in,” manipulating the situation, “she was lying to you, magic users are trying to destroy us,” and finally trying to close the door on the topic and reassert control, “i am your kind and your father and you will SHOW ME SOME RESPECT” - and arthur was not only having none of it (the way his eyes narrowed as uther’s casual “she was lying”...oh boy) he TURNED THE TABLES and had uther ON THE DEFENSIVE. the number of times we’ve seen uther shut other people down and get his way because he’s king and everyone is afraid of him and this time uther was the one who afraid LITERALLY for his life. HOW’S THAT TASTE BITCH god it was SO satisfying. like, there’s one shot where arthur is walking slowly towards him after all his verbal tactics have failed to de-escalate the situation and he’s in the backround with his eyes so fucking wide and he looks TERRIFIED. i LOVE IT

“you are my son. you would not strike an unarmed man.” “i no longer consider myself your son” AND HE STRIKES HIM

HE👏

DID👏

THAT👏

when i say that i LITERALLY screamed i am not at all exaggerating or using hyperbole. cathy asked twice if i needed to pause & collect myself. i could not have paused if my life depended on it

i’m really on the fence about merlin stopping arthur. on the one hand, arthur has suffered enough and doesn’t need to suffer more by having to carry the guilt or dadmurder. under the other, uther is a monster and needs to die, and the entire world would be better off without him

like...arthur’s face when he says “you have caused so much suffering and pain”...he really finally got it. for one beautiful brilliant moment he understood

i am NOT on the fence about merlin lying to arthur. that was the wrong way to do it. arthur 6000% deserves to know the truth and that’s only gonna come back and bite them later i’m sure (unless it never comes back at all in which case i’ll be pissed)

i’m not sure that arthur would have backed off if they had told the truth and said “uther didn’t realize your mom was gonna die so really that part wasn’t his fault”...he was really mad! but he might’ve. lying was not the way to go. i’m so angry at literally everyone in that scene for allowing arthur to walk away believing he was wrong. he was so full of conviction and he was about to do a really good thing - not good for him personally, but good for the world - and everyone he trusts lied to his face in order to maintain the status quo and not have to deal with anything ugly. i HATE it. i’m team arthur now. i’m in the arthur defense squad. all those dumb liars aren’t good enough to be his friends!!!!!!

like, even his dad’s words were sooo carefully chosen to avoid lying but also avoid telling the whole truth. even in that moment when arthur was laying it all bare and they could have made some sort of progress as character and as people. we had to go BACK TO THE STATUS QUO

Once Again Arthurs Heart Is Hardened To Magic i hate it thanks

honestly look uther telling arthur that he’s a trusted ally in the fight against magic should make him feel a lot more distressed than what we got. i mean i’m sure he’s glad his cover is safe but he should realize that if uther approves he’s doing something wrong

furthermore, uther hasn’t changed a bit. he says he came to thank merlin and that merlin is a loyal servant and trusted ally, but then threatens his life before he leaves. honestly we should have just let arthur stab him

i do appreciate them making a point of mentioning that merlin was tempted to let uther die and that it would have been better for him if uther HAD died and he only did what he did to protect arthur but like...there were ways to do that that didn’t involve lying i think. this is an optimistic show most of the time. it wouldn’t have messed with my suspension of disbelief if arthur had dropped the sword knowing the real whole truth! but no, The Status Quo

i don’t know if i will still love arthur so much in the coming episodes.................we’ll see. i’m kind of nervous because i don’t know how they’re ever going to top this. i think we peaked right here and it’ll never be this good for me again

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

band rant:

okay, so. i never get involved in band drama nowadays bc like who has the time for that? but i felt like i had to say something on this topic.

today i woke up to being tagged on a fb article about how absolutely disgustingly creepy and inappropriate fans are being at p!atd concerts, when brendon urie does a big walk through the crowd during the song death of a bachelor. the thing that disturbed me the most about the people that lick or kiss him or do other creepy/concerning things (without his consent) is that they’re literally adults in their 20s, or at least that’s what people were assuming in the comments on the article, who should know that this stuff is creepy asf.

like don’t get me wrong, it took me literal years in my teens to realise that my attitude towards brendon and other band members (who I won’t mention by name here, but y’all know who they are by now) was creepy. 

 I’d make jokes about turning up their shows naked under a trench coat or how if i ever lived in the states they’d all have restraining orders out on me bc i’d follow to them to their houses and shit. hell, I even made a joke coming home from a concert once that i wouldn’t wash my hands for a week bc i touched one of the guitarist’s guitars and their hand at a show in 2009 (y’all can all guess who that was). i cried for an hour on the way home, bc i did actually wash my hands after that show. seriously 13/14yo me was a fucking freak when it came to her fave bands. 

but the difference between me and these creepy presumably 20something women who should know better is that i was a kid who didn’t know any better and thought these jokes and other ones i made (like tagging a particular band’s members on my crotch and my very non-existent bewbs (*teenaged sniggering*) at that point, on my myspace with sexual tags) were funny and not creepy. when on the contrary, they were really, really fucking inappropriate/creepy and NOT FUNNY (bc these guys were in their fucking 20s (!!!!!!) and i was a literal goddamn child in high school). 

it wasn’t until I was about 15/16 however, that i realised that i wouldn’t like some random kid turning up on my lawn to scream at me or turning up to my shows naked etc. but younger me thought her fave celebs owed her their time and stuff.... when they don’t. at all. in any sense of the matter. and yes, when I found those mentioned myspace tags at 18 when I went through my MS before it got deleted: I WAS FUCKING MORTIFIED. DO NOT DO THAT SHIT ON SOCIAL MEDIA. EVER. PERIOD. 

finally, to finish this part of the post, the topic of consent wasn’t as openly discussed 10 years ago, back when i was doing this shit. if it was ever was discussed, it wouldnt’ve been like it is now, and I would’ve been to selfish and young to care about it tbh. bc after all, teenage me was an asshole. it’s only recently, (meaning like 2013), that I started to better assess my behaviours towards famous people (especially my faves/idols/role models) and my ignorance of their obvious non-consent in these scenarios.

the very same goes for these incidents. like, who the fuck wants a completely random stranger (and especially one that should know better by now) randomly kissing them or licking them???? what the fuck????? and then other weird things like intentionally grabbing their face etc??? i don’t fucking care if you’re inebriated (bc it’s a concert and if you’re over 18 in aus or over 21 in the US, why wouldn’t you have a couple of drinks? but this is currently happening on p!atd’s US tour) while you’re at p!atd shows. i don’t fucking care if you think that brendon urie is “my (your) baby! <3 *sigh* 😍😍😍😍😍😍” (girl he ain’t your baby, let me tell ya.) and “oooh my ovaries!!!” 🤤🤤🤤😩😩😩 (idk what constitutes as a swooning emoji lol) or any other weird fangirl nonsense speak shit you want to throw at me, because:

THIS SHIT IS CREEPY ASF. IT. NEEDS. TO. STOP.

like for the women apparently doing this, think about it this way: if some creepo dude in the club starts kissing you when you’ve repeatedly told him to fuck off or whatever.... or just randomly approaches you for a hug; you’d be grossed out and uncomfortable right? now stand in a famous person’s shoes, at their shows meeting fans and having them doing this to you. how do you feel? surely you feel exactly like you do when that creepy fuckwit dude gives you an unsolicited/unconsented kiss at a bar. or when someone touches you in general without your consent.

brendon has literally told the p!atd fan base on multiple fucking occasions about HOW UNCOMFORTABLE, UNEASY AND FUCKING CREEPED OUT HE IS when random fans kiss/lick him or do other creepy fucking shit like grabbing his face without his consent. just because he’s famous, and you love him soooo much XDDDD, or just bc you’ll probably never see him again after the concert or whatever other weird bullshit justification(s) y’all wanna give, DO NOT GIVE YOU THE GROUNDS TO DO THIS SHIT.  I REPEAT: THESE REASONS/JUSTIFICATIONS DO NOT GIVE YOU THE GROUNDS TO DO THIS SHIT.

he has told you stop again and again. pls just stop. just because brendan urie is famous, it doesn’t mean that his safety and personal space should be violated in this twisted manner. obvs you could say that “hey he should expect this when he interacts with a crowd bc he’s famous. he should just deal with it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ but why should he? he should not have to deal with this, when he has requested again and again for it to cease. just grow the fuck up and respect his boundaries, yeah?

anyway the point of this rant is that you should fucking respect your faves boundaries, safety and requests to stop any fucking behaviour that makes them feel uncomfortable y’all. just be decent human beings yeah?

rant over.

an addendum: if you’re a woman or just generally a person who condemns and considers entitled male fans who scream things like “HEY SEXY WANNA MARRY ME?!” or “I WANNA FUCK YOU!” at female solo acts/female lead singers like idk lady gaga or hayley williams (paramore) etc or any other weird shit that happens to female acts as creepy... but you don’t think literally grabbing someone’s face or even licking your finger before you touch a stranger (which was another weird thing a fan did at a p!atd show).... all because it happened to a man; then take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror and look at your fucking hypocritical bullshit. because this is the exactly the same shit as what happens to female acts.

so in short, you’ll stand in solidarity with female acts and agree that this is unacceptable behaviour (bc feels as a woman, right? and women are TIRED OF THIS Y’ALL), but you won’t stand with a guy when it happens to them? that’s fucked bruh. y’all need to sort out your priorities and shit STAT. learn that this behaviour is fucked up and unacceptable etc from both genders (or all genders if you’re non-binary or trans etc) and on all fronts. again, I’ll assert that you just have to be a fucking decent and normal human being in this instance. and *elle woods voice* is it really, like, that fucking hard?

[radkindoffeminist]

Yeah, it’s the fact that because they think it’s okay therefore you should learn to accept it. My first ex, what ended the relationship was him being unable to accept the fact that him suddenly cutting contact with me fucking hurt me and basically saying that he had a reason for doing it, that he was hurting, so treating me feelings like nothing. I cried for days over it. Little fifteen year old me was fucking heartbroken over this. And there he was dismissing my feelings because only his mattered? I was expected to just move on an accept it because he was hurting?

And then the first hookup dude: I literally told him that the irregular contact was giving me anxiety, but he was surprised the first time I showed any doubt about meeting up with him. Like, my dude, I vaguely mentioned that your irregular contact (which started after the second or third time you cancelled on me with zero warning and only getting a pathetic ‘sorry, I got busy with work’ later) was giving me anxiety. When I saw that you didn’t get that, I then explicitly stated that the irregular contact was giving me anxiety and I needed more regular contact if this were to become a thing. But you were still surprised that I wasn’t interested and asked me what changed? And then when I explicitly stated that I wasn’t interested because you’d cancelled and stopped talking to me for too long, you still tried to slide into my DMs and think there was any hope there and got angry at me for not being nice to you?

And yeah, as I’ve started to think about it more then I think it’s entitlement, desperation, and just having the audacity. Idk, what ex one was thinking but ex two wanted nudes and camsex so he came running back thinking I would provide (and then suddenly went from speaking daily to almost zero contact when I finally said no because there was too much trauma there). The other two were just desperate for sex and since I’d been nice to them and showed interested in them before, they assumed that would stay. I remembered other guys who’ve done as I thought about this post more: one guy showed zero interest actually having sex with me and I was there to be the third in whatever threesome he could plan so I blocked him yet he still tried to message me again on the site we originally met on; one guy messaged me for a day, didn't speak to me for two months citing mental health, I said no, and again he then tried to speak to me on the site that we met on a few days later (he also had on his profile that he thought it was basic decency to respond to every message even to just reject them which I later realised was just a massive entitlement to women’s time because he was literally saying that he took the time to message them so he was owed a response); another guy did a similar thing of speaking more irregularly and eventually I stopped responding to him and again he went back to messaging me on the site that we met on; another guy stopped talking to me after a few days of talking but cited death in the family and apologised for his aggression towards me being not so nice (because I was tired of guys running back to me after weeks at this point) and then cut me off for another couple of weeks after like two days and got very angry at me for that so I think I doged a bullet there; another guy who cancelled without notice on me on multiple occasions and went weeks without speaking to me but expected me to be there whenever he wanted to have sex and then was surprised when I finally told him to fuck off; another guy I stopped talking to because I lost interest and he messaged me months later that he was ‘finally single’ if I was still interested.

Their absolute desperation for sex/nudes/pics combined with their realisation that a lot of women aren't willing to do that, their entitlement to our time, and their lack of respect for our boundaries has all culminated in this: them thinking they can cut us off whenever they want or whenever they get slightly busy and we’re always going to come running back to them without question, maybe even give them sympathy for whatever it was, and they can get whatever they want from us with zero repercussions. I'm glad I finally learnt my lesson but Christ was it pathetic to see and awful to know that men would come running back to me after me showed zero interest in them and refused to respond to them or even deleted them from Snapchat because they were just that desperate and entitled.

Has anyone else ever had men in their life who’ve cut them off for like weeks or months and then expected them to come running back to them because they were dealing with stuff or busy?

My first ex, who I had a very short and yet traumatising relationship with, went zero contact with me after a month then randomly messaged me after three months saying that he was dealing with a death in his family, never took accountability for the fact that him cutting me off hurt me, and then got angry when I broke up with him.

My second ex stopped talking to me when we realised that we were never going to psychically be together (online relationship and we ended up being the other side of the country due to various moves) but we could be friends. He then stopped speaking to me after two days but came back 3-4 months later saying that he was dealing with the breakup. Dumb eighteen year old me went running back to him.

One guy I was chatting to and was going to meet up with for sex (in the hopes of being a FWB type deal) a couple of years ago started getting increasingly more irregular with his messages. After a couple of weeks of only texting once a week, I explicitly state that if he was going to be this flaky then I’m not interested. When he then didn’t speak to me for another week, he seemed surprised that I wasn’t sure if I was still interested or not. He then didn’t speak to me for at least a month citing that he got busy with work (which was also his reason for cancelling plans with zero notice on a couple of other occasions) at which point I’d told him that he’d broken any trust and I was never going to be interested. But he tried to message me a month later and pretend like that didn’t happen and then got angry that I was ‘rude’ to him (I literally called him out on being desperate and told him not to message again since explicitly saying that he’s broken my trust and I wasn’t interested anymore wasn’t enough?)

And there was another guy I met with for sex as well and then messages after started getting irregular. And then he didn’t speak to me for a month (also citing busy with work because people apparently get so busy that they can’t find literally five minutes every two or three days to message???), after which I just ignored him because I’d finally learnt something about self-respect.

Like what is it? Do they think that we have nothing better and therefore we won’t move on? Do they think we obsess with them to the point where we will always come running back? Do they realise that actually their options are limited? Because when it was just my exes I assumed it was a power move, to test if I would still come running to them, but with the other two guys I think it’s just desperation. Can it be both?

[leaveharmony]

** this got mad towards the end and it wasn't a targeted sort of mad at anyone in particular so much as a tired & probably-stemming-from-always-having-thing-I-enjoy-and-the-way-I-engage-with-it belittled sort of mad.  And as my father has always taught me, having or expressing emotions is shameful and wrong, so sorry.

Idk I think it's like....harder for me to cast judgement RE: ~cheating scandals~ or w/e because it goes back to it all being completely theoretical to me. No one's ever, face to face, at any time in any way expressed any kind of romantic interest in me whatsoever, I've never been in a relationship of any kind.  It hasn't come up, and that's fine.  Whether this is a case of you cannot miss what you've never had or whether I'm just like....a broken empty vessel for whom the yearning for human contact has gone beyond recall or desire, I dunno, and it doesn't concern me.  This isn't a pity me statement or an uwu secret crush notice me statement, I literally don't care at this point and tbh can't remember ever having done so.

Probably my oldest friend at this point, she....like as long as I've known her she's dated married men almost exclusively (and this started when we were both in highschool, when she was screwing around w/ her married english teacher - something I now understand was shocking predatory behaviour and probably statutory rape besides, but she does not acknowledge it as such so bring it up isn't my place).  She's been seeing the current one for at least three years now, I think, and he's married.  It's certainly an uncomfortable thing, and god knows I don't believe he could possibly think much of her or his wife if he's been doing this for so long and never once manned up and been honest or seriously considered ending his marriage.  But it's her life and we don't talk much anymore anyway, so I've never felt like it was my job or my place to be her therapist RE: holy shit what the fuck is wrong with you why do you do this to yourself and how could you do this to someone else?

Like full disclosure she started ‘seeing’ that english teacher when we were sort of puppy love internet-together (another long story but she wanted to or at least said she did and I sorta went along with it cos I didn't want to hurt her feelings...which of course, then it certainly seemed v. much like she didn't have many of, considering within a week she was having it off w/ someone else...again, this was a detached ‘Oh’ kind of moment, not really connected to any real hurt as she had instigated this and I hadn't really felt anything myself...it was upsetting in a sort of, ‘so this is what people do when they tell you they love you, that is disappointing but I guess life is not fiction’ kind of way but not in a ‘how could you, I love you’ kind of way.  As a first/only experience it could have gone better tbh, but it certainly gave me the right level of expectation afa being used & discarded when someone more convenient came along).

It's possible that most of the people I have ever known have just been fundamentally really bad at relationships and so I just sort of assume this is a normal thing; my father is an abusive shitbag and we're inescapably trapped with him, grandpa was a sort of...disinterested stick in the mud with a frightening temper for whom my grandmother gave up all her interests in sports and the outdoors because he did not share them.  Wabs never married, Tosh told me like she was expecting a pat on the back and a medal that she'd been faithful to her husband as he died of cancer 'even though she  ‘didn't have to be.’  And my instinctive reaction wasn't GOOD FOR YOU so much as it was “....what?!” but again...I didn't speak, because what the fuck do I know?  Maybe ppl run off and start seeing other ppl as soon as their partners get so much as a headcold all the time.

Ppl just sorta get abused and trampled and left and cheated on and discarded, or they do the same to others, and it just looks like a hell of a mess I'm well out of, tbh.  Which I guess is another reason...unless somebody's getting beat or otherwise abused, I feel like it's none of my business.  So honestly, “Tana slept around when he was single and one day some chick he canoodled with for like two months stabbed him for it” is filed under “Yeah that'll happen, thank god he didn't die” rather than “Hahahahaha karma amiright he totes deserved it, domestic abuse and attempted murder are hilarious when they’re directed at men who’re full of themselves!”

Nobody needs to tell me to have low fuckin' expectations for men, ok, I live under the boot of one of their idiot kings.  Tell me Tana fatshames his family for eating, tell me he gaslights them or acts like when they’re hurt or injured they’re making it up to personally inconvenience him, tell me they have to rigidly control their emotions around him to avoid setting off his violent temper, and ok.  Tell me he's a bigot, tell me he hits his family, tell me he hates women, tell me he's a rapist, ok.  But like...’he had a lot of sex and probably hurt people's feelings’ is not really high on my list of cardinal offenses b/c as far as I can tell, that's fucking everyone.  It isn't like he still does, it isn't like he's not tried to put it behind him and grow from it and be better.  It's practically his motto.   Why is ‘I acted in a shitty way but I'm trying to atone and I still look back and feel guilty about it’ only an admirable, affirming  thing to aspire to when it's a tumblr post & not when a guy is straight up saying it?  Which he has, on multiple occasions.  Can't change the past, can only try to learn from it.

At.  Least.  He.  Fucking.  Tries.

When has redneck george ever walked back his comments about gay ppl or his Islamophobia, when has Lesnar?  Beyond a token apology and chasing it w/ a dozen I'M NOT A RACIST THO interviews when has Hogan really acknowledged the depths of how he fucked up?  When did Warrior apologize for his vile bigotry, where's Elgin sincerely regretting being a fucking piece of shit dragging a rape victim's name through the mud?  Jericho's response to ‘hey maybe you shouldn't be advertising your cruise by saying there will be loads of bikini-clad women there available for you to ogle’ was essentially ‘are you triggered, bro, y so srys?’ and at no point did he objections seriously.  Orton never so much as thinks for two seconds before condemning BLM protesters or footballers who take the knee, AND he voted for Trump, but other than hollowly chanting that he's not a racist while blatantly doing things that are racist, silence.  Honma beat his girlfriend, Snuka murdered his partner, Austin smacked Debra around, Angle got stoned out of his mind and broke into his ex's apartment, X-Pac hit Chyna, exactly how often do they refer back to what happened, when did they apologize or express regret or even acknowledge any of it?  I mean I guess Benoit can't, what with the fucking suicide after he bashed in Nancy's skull and murdered his son.

Ppl have different things they can tolerate and forgive, is I guess my point, or at least one of them.  Which is fine!  I mean...I'd sure fucking side-eye anybody who writes any of the above a pass, but, I guess everybody's stories and reasons are different.

I like Tana.  I'm a fan of his.  Ok?  Like it probably sounds like I think he's a flawless angel crowned with light b/c compared to my fucking father, he IS.  It doesn't mean I'm being willfully blind to mistakes he's made or that I'm absolving him of every sin he's ever committed.  I think he's a good person and it's heartening and encouraging that he's in the world and if saying so without adding 18 asterisks about past behaviour and an disclaimer acknowledging all men as shit and all people as inherently flawed makes me a gullible childish ~fangirl~ than ok, I guess I am.  Everybody knows my tags for wrestling/wrestlers, which are there as much as a courtesy to anybody who needs to blacklist as they are a filing system for me (that’s why there’s a catch-all!  For ppl I haven’t thought up tags for yet or don’t intend to!), and tumblr savior is right there if me being silly about my favs in my own space bothers everybody so fucking much, god knows it wouldn't be the first time I set somebody cringing and they had to tune me out before they quietly dropped my ass like a particularly stupid puppy on a country road.  That I am a sloppy fawning emotional mess of untreated neurosis who hyperfixates on things & people who make me feel halfway hopeful for entire minutes at a time & gets stupidly overexcited about stuff isn't new information to me, so if you can't deal with that then... Well...sorry, honestly.  Like sincerely.  I know how I am and I try not to be but I can't help it sometimes when I like something.  Don't feel bad about leaving if you don't want to deal with it, cos I get it, honestly.  Have exactly zero (0) guilt feelings about it.  I’m a fundamentally repulsive creature, ppl have hard limits on how long they can put up with me, and so it has always been, and so it goes.

[anonymous-human]

HIIIIII! how about MTMTE characters of your choice of just cute happy things!! no sa d !!!

(Bless the no death all happy timelines. Hell yeah, sign me the fUCK up for that! Anyway, you didn’t say NSFW or SFW so I’m going SFW.)

Drift

Drift is the sweetest of the sweets.

He’s a romantic and definitely the happy guy in those Japanese dating sims tbh. He’ll leave flowers outside your hab from whatever planet they just came from, and he’s always just a gentlemech in general.

And that means ‘ladies first’ as he holds the door open for you.

Also, if you will, he’ll tell you about his theories about the Knights and all that religion he’s into. He appreciates it when people listen to him, especially you.

His favorite thing to do with you would be meditating. It’s his big fav. When you fidget and squirm then try your best to go back to sitting straight and still he finds it so adorable. He’s honestly tempted to stop and just cuddle you forever. You’re so adorable to him! Let him love you! He will tease you about it later btw. 

 Ultra Mangus

Ultra Magnus legitimately misses Verity, that being said he’s starved from lack of physical contact.

This is the most troubling relationship, ever, inside and out. On some days, Magnus might be paying more attention to you, while on other days he’s trying to stop mechs from doing dumb things around the ship. And maybe, if you care about rules and regulations as much as he does, you’ll haul them to the brig yourself, (don’t ask me how).

But I feel like that’s not what Magnus needs in a partner. Yeah, it’d be nice to have one who knows about the rules as much as he does, but he needs someone who will help him take a step back and relax if he’s gone too far, stressing out over nothing or just, in general, taking his work more serious than usual. And he takes everything seriously. I feel like then he’d be truly happy.

As much as he likes it when you ride on his shoulders, he really likes to do things that involve him being your size. Like hand holding. And cuddling. And more hand holding. But he doesn’t do actually PDA as the green bean or the Magnus armor, so it’s more for when you are alone in your shared hab.

That being said, he’ll be out of his armor, and you’ll be lying next to each other, fingers interlocked as he plays with your combined hands together, and you’ll have your head rested on his shoulder. For him being in his reducible form, he’s really warm. And he’s just talking, rambling at this point, but you don’t care. To just be with him like this is the best of times you’ll have with him on the ship. You snuggle closer to him.

 Whirl

Whirl and you are literally the Abbott and Costello of the Lost Light I can’t even begin. Shit has hit the fan and people are fighting? You bet your asses you two making it worse.

Even if you might be more chill and do goofy pranks, Whirl still will run down the halls literally trying to fight someone to show off to you. And by Primus, he can be such a show-off. He’s showing off all the time like he’ll swag into the room you are in and show off how cool he is with a pose, while you are over there cheering him on and rather encouraging his behavior.

And surprisingly, your helping Whirl. Rung can’t even believe it, but when you came into his life, he got much more cheerful than cocky. And on multiple occasions, he’s caught himself ‘going soft’ and claims “your rubbing off on me, fleshy” as you giggle.

The happiest of times are either when you are just having a jolly good time with Whirl and the gang a Swerve’s, or sometimes he can’t sleep at night, and he’ll tell you about his time in the wreckers until he tires himself out, which can be really interesting, with the over exaggerations. Either that, or you’ll play a shitty action/romance movie so he falls asleep (idk about you guys, but I’d definitely bring a TV on the LL), and if your lucky, you’ll be in his cockpit. Which is surprisingly comfy.

One time you fell asleep in there are woke up with Whirl’s head all curled up to your side and claws around your protectively. You smiled and fell back asleep petting his head.

 Swerve

Swerve. How do I begin? It’s a really fun relationship. You’d be a waitress at his bar and I would really like to compare you guys to Sam and Diane, but it’s not that kind of relationship. He’s a talkative mech who needs an s/o who will either listen to him and to what he says or someone as talkative as him.

He loves it when you listen to what he says, you probably one of the only few who actually does listen and add to the conversation. And you’ll talk about anything together. Past, present, future, secrets, all of it. Well, not the secrets part, not in the bar when there are mechs like Whirl around.

And PDA is your guys’ shit. CD and RW think you are horrible, and it’s CD and RW talking. You’ll do it all in public, except kinky and be making out on the bar counter stuff.

he hasn’t been with anyone like this for millions of years. 

At night he likes to just be next to you, that’s all he wants, but more like hand holding and cuddling makes it 1000% better.

 Rung

Rung is the nicest bot ever in the existence of bots. He’s always putting your needs before his and being just the best. You are the light of his life. The only person to remember his name of the first try! And trust me, that never happens.

His favorite thing to do with you is probably just those hours and hours you two have spent in his office just talking and laughing about whatever thing comes to mind.

He really appreciates it when you call out whoever mispronounced his name, even though he tells you to stop.

A memorable moment was when you said you had to talk to him, and he had guessed you were going to break up with him. Having he wasn’t having the best of days, and it’s hard to be positive every hour of every day. When you finally got to his office, you hesitated before saying; “This is going to be hard to say, this isn’t easy for me.” you started, you go on talking about the happiest moments with him on the Lost Light, and he listens carefully. He’s pretty sure you are breaking up with him. And then you stop and hesitate. “I…” you start to say before you hesitate. “I love you,” you finally say. His glasses fog up He tried to say something but he choked on his words. He takes off his glasses to rub to rub them clear. “… are you okay, Rung? Was this too sudden?” you ask, “was the build up too good?!” and Rungs responds saying, “N-no, I just… I love you too.” his voice cracks. No one. No one ever told him words such as that. No one had stuck around long enough. Your words shocked him. You pull him into a hug and he embraces you lovingly and closely to him. 

You are the light of his life and he’s the light in yours.

Red Alert

Red Alert can be a bit obsessive. But before I get to the cute shit, I want to point to some happy shit; In this Timeline, he doesn’t attempt to kill himself (or else he wouldn’t’ve cared. You must’ve become close to him in that period of time before Rung’s head blew up, OR you knew him when he was earth and became close friends with him there. he wouldn’t want this kind of relationship otherwise. and it’s rare for him to trust someone like a human because of their short lifespan.

Anyway, where was I? Oh right. Obsessive. In the sense, he genuinely cares about you, and if you are not with him, he’s watching you on a monitor. Okay, this is rather creepy than happy, anyway.

He enjoys the time you do spend together. Yeah, he’s nervous to try new things like cuddling, so let him initiate anything like that.  

But when it comes down to it, at first he’s really stiff, but when you cup his chin with both your hands and smile as you tell him you love him and pull him down for a kiss, a spark seems to go off in his eyes and he relaxes in the kiss. When you break it, he says he loves you too.

You’ll be laying in birth together, your arms and head on his chest plates as you listen to the steady sound of his spark, and he’s holding you close, one servo on the small of your back and the other up your neck and in your hair. You head is nuzzling his chin and he has his nose in your hair. It’s peaceful.

Megatron

Megatron is a train wreck when it comes to this kind of stuff. And he’ll do the most schoolboy stuff. Before your actually a thing, he’s always nervous when he’s talking, he won’t stutter, he speaks really clearly actually, but when he thinks he’s screwed up, he’ll be like ‘shit, shit, shit!’ in his head and mentally panic as he tries to fix it. Of course, it’s probably alright, but he doesn’t know that.

If you invite him to Swerve’s a few times and actually try to hang out and have a few drinks with him, he’ll slowly get the vibe you like him back. The day he realizes, it was because he caught himself smiling at the thought of you.

But when it comes down to being in a relationship (I want to keep the ‘asking out’ thing separate, if someone would request that, knock yourself out), he’s really polite and sweet. He’ll let you ride on his shoulder and the thing is no one expects it from him because some bots are still very much afraid of him.

His favorite thing to do with you is probably, any physical affection. Guys, he’s been at war for 6 million years, he hasn’t gotten any kind of affection. None. zip, zero, nada. I mean the closest thing to affection was his fights with Optimus, and I wish I was joking. 

He would prefer you wouldn’t to and PDA, he does have a reputation to uphold, but when you’re alone with him he will be super affectionate. Just being near you causes his spark to skip a beat! He likes to hold your small hand in his. He likes it when you are in berth and you’re on top of him, kissing his neck. You’d be in the mood to do the do, but the second he breaks down, it’s over and you do hardcore cuddling till you fall asleep. You don’t really mind, he just needs somebody love. (HE NEEDS SOMEBODY TO LOOVE! HE NEEDS SOMEBODY TO LOOOOVE-!)

All Queen jokes aside, he’s sweet at the spark. 

[comicteaparty]

February 21st, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on February 21st, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Teasday by FeatheryJustice.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Teasday by FeatheryJustice~! (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/teasday/list?title_no=169870)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

Draco Plato

I really like the most recent scene with Vander because I'm really looking forward to where it's going to lead to, it left me with a feeling of suspense

I also enjoyed the scene with Calen and Folen

FeatheryJustice

My favourite scene is actually Anton and Spyder, especially trolling Spyder with salt instead of sugar. I do love drawing Calen and Folen :3

Also what tea is everyone drinking today?

Cheshire777

Nothing right now- out and about but when I get back chai.

FeatheryJustice

What kind of chai? Traditional or like the new form types?

Draco Plato

peppermint XD

FeatheryJustice

Ohh classic. Plain peppermint or mixed with other stuff Draco?

Draco Plato

just plain, it's pretty watery too since it's the keurig one

Cheshire777

Loose leaf (masala I think?) w/ sugar, vanilla, nutmeg and cream.(edited)

FeatheryJustice

Ohh that sounds so good

Cheshire777

And cinnamon.

RebelVampire

my favorite scene is probably the one with calen and folen. i think they add a lot of dynamic to camellia since before she was just grumpy tea witch. now shes grumpy tea witch with a past. plus i really loved that appearance change because just so many questions. tea party host plot twist: i actually hate tea. long live the coffee witch.

FeatheryJustice

There is a coffee witch

She's cool

RebelVampire

which incidentally i did enjoy the dialogue about the coffee witch and the whole description of camellia's interaction with her. it made me laugh.

Cheshire777

Beat me to it @RebelVampire.

naomi

I always look forward to the author note at the end - it makes me imagine what they are drinking in the story

Also sorry I revealed my tea in general already - but I might make some hojicha for the occasion

FeatheryJustice

/o/

Draco Plato

haha I do really enjoy the author notes at the end too, I've learned so much about tea

Cheshire777

Eeesh, will be going through a dead zone soon for a few mins, don't freak if I stop talking.

mathtans

Here for the moment. Yeah, I liked the tea witch/coffee witch thing where they each made the offer and declined, I can totally relate to that. Coffee is just a no for me.

(I don't drink tea much either, but never coffee.)

RebelVampire

im really hoping well meet the coffee witch and see the spark of rivalry to a degree. friendly rivalry, but rivalry none the less

another less scene but more moment i enjoyed was at the end of sweet tea where the spider is just using multiple arms to pour in more sugar than should ever be allowed in anything ever

mathtans

Random surprise twist, Calen inherits the coffee witch title.

FeatheryJustice

Lol

mathtans

I also thought it was a nice touch in the night scene to have Camillia without her gloves. One wonders if she had a tea mishap in her past... or maybe she worked in fast food and gave it up.

There was more sugar than cup, I think. ^.^

Cheshire777

Ack..

FeatheryJustice

Yeah they are really good friends, the coffee witch and Cam

nintendonut1

I like the lullaby sung in Tea Cocktails. makes me think of how a lot of our childhood songs can get a little creepy

FeatheryJustice

That song is plot important

mathtans

We've also seen a fruit witch. Is there a veggie witch?

FeatheryJustice

In like three seasons ahha

There is one!

Draco Plato

oh i was thinking it had plot relevance, the song

mathtans

(I'm randomly reminded of a bake shop near me called "The Scone Witch".)

FeatheryJustice

That is a good name lol

And yeah of course it has plot relevance, I mean I wouldn't invent a random song without meaning XD

naomi

I hope it's clear when I said I liked the author's notes that it doesn't get in front of the content for me! Although I do think it gives each page something extra

RebelVampire

idk i could head canon camellia just invented it to troll ppl and creep them out

naomi

Same

FeatheryJustice

She would XD

Also I think I want to do a recap section for the longer ones so people can get read through it and get the tdlr

Like I should recap the herbal arc hha

mathtans

She sings it to people who come in and ask for coffee.

Kabocha

Hellooooo~ Favorite Scene? Vander's hiring. Camelia went through so many applicants that it was silly, and then this guy can pick up the simplest lavender tea

Also, aaaaa, I still need to read from the herbal arc. I fell behind a while ago T_T;;;

naomi

I am still reading but I really liked the getting ready to go out/meeting Anton

RebelVampire

i also liked how kind of shrug no big deal vander was about knowing the tea

Kabocha

I think Vander was expecting something more challenging, because he's got some sort of tea magic, but... Camelia has long dealt with normal people, who don't know it well

naomi

Yeah I would be a lot more... I think the word is chuffed? If I guessed a tea challenge

FeatheryJustice

Actually there is a thing why she was so surprised actually

Kabocha

also urgh, is it Camellia or Camelia... I keep forgetting which words have two ls some nights

FeatheryJustice

It was barely hinted at

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. As hinted by the name, one of the comic’s goals is to focus on all topics related to tea. What is one interesting fact that you learned about tea thanks to the comic? Of the episodes, which episode did you find to be the strongest in terms of how it delivered educational, tea related information? Alternatively, of the episodes, which one did you find most entertaining on how it tackled a certain topic of tea and tea brewing? What other tea brews or information are you hoping to see the comic tackle? Lastly, which of the brews presented so far is your favorite?

mathtans

Well, as I recall it was diluted all to heck. Camillia was waiting for someone to say "it's water, not tea".

RebelVampire

yeah id call that more than a hint XD

FeatheryJustice

It was diluted

Kabocha

I really did like the intro to herbals, though Feather had told us a bit about it in IDC some time ago

also the process of tea flavoring is fascinating!

mathtans

I'd never considered the difference between infusers and the little collander thing that sits on a teapot. Surface area and such.

Draco Plato

I'd never heard of a lot of the tea combinations before so it gave me a lot to try

FeatheryJustice

And yeah it was more than a hint haha XD but people gloss over it a lot

Draco Plato

the banana tea particularly fascinated, and the chocolate tea

Kabocha

the fact that coconut tea is so oily wasn't... surprising

Draco Plato

yeah it was!

Kabocha

I'm shocked it goes with chocolate though

FeatheryJustice

Lol XD

Kabocha

chocolate is a pain to clean up after in my mug XD

FeatheryJustice

Yeah somrtimes you oh

You can put the chocolate tea in a tea bag and then into an infuser XR

Kabocha

...that would keep the oil from escaping wouldn't it

FeatheryJustice

Yup

mathtans

Oh yeah, banana tea, what was up with that. Did not anticipate.

RebelVampire

i have learned all the tea facts. as someone who doesnt like tea and thus doesnt make it, my knowledge equates to basically 0 on anything involved with making tea. like didnt even know there were different ways to flavor things. so all in all the comic has been educational as a whole to me

FeatheryJustice

I am glad I am teaching people!

Kabocha

wait, rebel, you don't like tea?! whaaaaaaaaat

FeatheryJustice

Also man I had to research so much for the herbal flavouring thing

mathtans

It's a "steep" learning curve.

RebelVampire

the research really shows through though because i think in comparison to the other strips this one has been the most thorough

FeatheryJustice

I love that pum

Also I was trying to do a different format as well that time CD

RebelVampire

and no i dont like tea. but tbf to tea i dont like hot beverages in general. even coffee which i do like i take it iced.

FeatheryJustice

Iced tea episode hahaha

mathtans

Funny thing about tea for me. I don't like hot tea. I definitely don't like iced tea. I'll tend to drop an ice cube into tea shortly before drinking it (it melts, admittedly diluting) to split the difference.

Kabocha

yeah, I let my tea cool before drinking it in many cases -- but some just taste better hot

but compared to rebel, I live in the arctic I think

FeatheryJustice

Lukewarm tea is okay

mathtans

Exactly. Gotta go for lukewarm.

RebelVampire

in terms of education, i also liked the alcohol tea drinking. cause it was educational and entertaining. cause idk what it was about the scene, but i got kind of a bar feeling. like camellia suddenly the bartender just serves alcohol tea

to rebel most ppl live in the arctic in comparison XD

mathtans

That reminds me, when Camellia's with her family they call her Amellia. Is she undercover with her C?

Kabocha

I'd honestly never had tea with alcohol... that sounds... pretty good imo

RebelVampire

i assumed it might have been a nickname cause it seems like most charas have their own nickname for her

but then again

she did change her appearance

suspicious

FeatheryJustice

Amelia is what they call her and Ilia is what Anton and Spyder call her

mathtans

Oh, good point, the llia hadn't consciously registered.

She looks different to tend bar.

FeatheryJustice

Yeah becuase she actually attempted to dress up XD

Also I need to bring back Galene sometime soon

RebelVampire

she looked very pretty in those scenes too

i was hoping wed see galene again cause i really like galene's design

FeatheryJustice

I had fun drawing her but I was also like "OH GOD WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF"

mathtans

Galene is Calen's secret informant.

FeatheryJustice

Fun fact, they don't know of each other's existences yet.

Galene and Calen never met in story

Same as how Vander never met Anton and Spyder yet, and Rhurbi only seen Spyder and Anton like once

Also the fun thing about alcohol with tea is that you can put it in hot tea and burn off the alcohol content. Or cook it

RebelVampire

oh man i cant wait till vander meets spyder and anton then. partly cause i wonder who might teach who about tea.

Kabocha

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/teasday/herbal-part-3/viewer?title_no=169870&episode_no=24 Vander's real shady in this page ಠ_ಠ

mathtans

Maybe Vander already knows Spyder by reputation. "Oh, you're the sugar daddy."

Cheshire777

I'm back!

FeatheryJustice

LOLLLL

You almost made me choke on my tea there Math

RebelVampire

vander knows cause hes seen how much sugar inventory they have to keep and its abnormally high

FeatheryJustice

Fun fact, Vander HATES sweet things most of the time.

mathtans

Don't get him a cute teddy bear for his birthday then.

Kabocha

ahahaha

RebelVampire

i agree with kabo that vander was super suspicious in that one panel. but honestly vander seems suspicious in general cause he seems to know little about making tea at all but somehow was able to recognize a diluted mixture that nobody else could

Kabocha

maybe he's a tea-witch in training

Draco Plato

maybe it's just part of an ability his species has

mathtans

He said he knew tea stuff though, didn't he?

Cheshire777

Hyper taste?

yeah people say things

Draco Plato

i thought he said he was learning from Camellia

Kabocha

theory time

he's a business rival

Draco Plato

ooooooo

mathtans

tries to remember why Vander was looking for a job

Kabocha

he just kind of wandered in, I thought

mathtans

Kabocha: That seems plausible. Guess he's playing the long game rather than trying to buy her out.

Kabocha

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/teasday/herbal-part-4/viewer?title_no=169870&episode_no=25 oh look at that

support for my theory as I'm reading

Draco Plato

maybe he's related to one of the people calen killed

FeatheryJustice

Pffft, Calen doesn't kill people, no she's an angel Coughlaugh

Draco Plato

O_O suuuuure

mathtans

She outsources.

FeatheryJustice

Folen does it for her

That

Draco Plato

loooool

FeatheryJustice

Also I am laughing because I want to say things, but can not because well that's Spoilers~

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Despite the tea focus, the comic does take some time to add in a few character mysteries. What do you think Camellia past is with Calen and Folen? Why is Camellia so ardent about not going back to work with Calen? Also, why do you think Camellia changed her appearance to pay a visit to the two? What do you make of the scars depicted on Camellia’s hands? Besides Camellia, there is also her new assistant Vander. Do you believe that Vander can be trusted, or do you believe Calen will find out something shady about him? How will his continued presence affect Camellia and/or himself?

Kabocha

I THINK FOLEN wanted to marry camellia(edited)

FeatheryJustice

Leans back to watch fan theories steep

naomi

Kabocha went there

FeatheryJustice

Kabo did.

Kabocha

I always go there.

FeatheryJustice

Welll

I would show you a clip of the next episode talking about cups

Becuase literally it's all Folen and Camellia that episode hahah

Kabocha

Camellia turned Folen down, though, because... Well. She honestly doesn't want that romance stuff. Just give her the tea, dammit.

Folen, on the other hand, is interested in magic, and hey, tea magic is magic... yes right?

Draco Plato

that's pretty much what I had but I think overall the three of them are like family too

so there's probably a deeper connection there

mathtans

As I recall, Calen said that Camellia and Folen used to date, or something. Maybe he runs a fast food place.

Kabocha

Maybe he likes flavored Coffee

mathtans

Doesn't go well with tea.

FeatheryJustice

LOL I wish there was a fast food witch somewhere XD

mathtans

Wendy's, the good witch?

FeatheryJustice

HAHAHA XD I'm laughing so hard

Cheshire777

Obsessed with hair nets... I can picture it now...

FeatheryJustice

"Do you want fries with that?"

Cheshire777

They're magic!

FeatheryJustice

Magic Fries for everyone

RebelVampire

the veggie witch and fast food witch must be friends

to make all those french fries

Cheshire777

Makes you crave more magic fast food

FeatheryJustice

Real potato fries, so real they will teleport out of your stomach

Kabocha

Sweet potato fries are the veggie witch's favorite, I'm sure

put cinnamon on 'em

Draco Plato

Yum yum

FeatheryJustice

Veggie witch was actually schdueled to come around earlier in devlopement but I wanted her to be more placed later in the story as like, weird wacky aunt who visits

She bringing a lot of onions with her

Kabocha

She would invite people over, but she's got a leek problem

FeatheryJustice

LOL

Cheshire777

Onion tea?

FeatheryJustice

Yes!

There is onion tea

RebelVampire

wait theres onion tea

what

Cheshire777

Onion and ginger might be good

FeatheryJustice

Yup

It's made like a cold remedy

But I like Onion tea by itself

Draco Plato

It's full of tears

FeatheryJustice

Tea-rs

XD

Layers of flavour

Cheshire777

Is there tea made with bacon?

FeatheryJustice

I think so

I seen that in like, a weird tea thing

They used like, bacon bits with black tea to get a smoky flavour

RebelVampire

interesting

so anyway camellia's hands: scars from tea brewing or scars from something else? O_O

FeatheryJustice

Also Lapsang Sochong (One of the teas from an episode, has a good smoky taste so you can add bacon to it and give it a try???)

Cheshire777

Maybe!

FeatheryJustice

And I can't confirm or deny why she has those scars, other than man it's hard to draw them all the time

I keep forgetting they exist XD

Cheshire777

So It's a plot point

FeatheryJustice

(Everything I do is a plot point, only when it isn't then it isn't for a plot point XD)

RebelVampire

im personally leaning towards the latter. although i could see the former. like idk how someone becomes a witch in this world, but maybe camellia wasnt meant to be a tea witch. like she had to work super super super super duper hard to be a tea witch.

Kabocha

She burned her hands on tea didn't she

Draco Plato

The scars probably relate to a murder

Kabocha

GASP

maybe she was trying to work with Folen and it didn't work out

Cheshire777

A ERRENT STRAND OF HAIR!! IT WILL BE A PLOT POINT! THERE WILL BE A QUIZ!

FeatheryJustice

Also all witch related questions will be answered soon, after the wrap up of season 1

Cheshire777

What are your views on infusing tea into other food?

rice, cakes,

RebelVampire

i hope that if her scars relate to murder she didnt infuse the victim into tea or something. cause yes i went the dark route

FeatheryJustice

Delicious, I have recipes with tea for DAYS!

:3c

Also there are

Many screams

Draco Plato

Don't give feather ideas XD

FeatheryJustice

Pfft, it was already set in stone lol!

Scalded laps, SCALDED LAPS FOR DAYS

Draco Plato

Omg XD

Cheshire777

So tea infusions in other things?

mathtans

Flower witch too, maybe?

Cheshire777

Probably

FeatheryJustice

There is a flower witch

And also fun fact about the scars, Camellia actually has enough fingerless gloves to match her entire wardrobe, all in the basic colours XD

And my favourite thing to do right now is to try to use teas in savoury dishes

Recently made broiled chicken with a lemon chili pepper white tea, and that was so good

(Be right back, grabbing another cup of tea, getting some apple chamomile cinnamon roobios)

RebelVampire

i hope we can meet the flower witch

although i wonder if witches have to be female

cause part of me wants it to be a guy who wears a flower crown

FeatheryJustice

Well.

Actually.

I wonder if I can say.

Well you will have it explained during the episode of the origins of how these particular witches came to be.

But I haven't designed the Flower Witch so I will keep that in mind.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. The story has its fair share of shenanigans while having a lot of future potential. Insofar, which character do you enjoy seeing the most in the comic and why? Are there any potential future scenarios you’re hoping to see them in? Are there any other sort of witch types you’re hoping exist in the world that could play a role in the comic? What about creatures? In the long term, do you think Camellia will keep her current tea brewing style of life, or will something come along and change it in contrast to all the shenanigans? Finally, in general, what other scenarios do you see popping up for the story given any story fact?

i enjoy seeing vander cause he really is a suspicious mofo.

maybe vander is a world reknown thief

and he thinks camellia keeps her treasures in that backroom

and now he finds out nah she just has tea and more tea

so has to convenient go on vacation to never return

FeatheryJustice

Reminds me of the Tuxedo Mask Meme

"My job here is done" "But you didn't do anything" Whoosh

I personally just can't wait to finish Season 1, and then get into the really good stuff in Season 2. I also can't wait to kinda fix my old art ahhahahha XD

But I wouldlike to introduce more of towns folk, becuase there is a good amount of diversiTEA in the town Camellia resides, which is far away from the big city of where Folen and Calen are

Kabocha

What will Camelia think when someone serves her Coffee Puerh

FeatheryJustice

Also Vander being a Phantom Thief really makes me have ideas though haha

The same thing Camelia thinks when people give her Tawinese Coffee Milk Tea. "....Thanks but no." And Coffee tea is going to be an episode on it's own as well.

RebelVampire

i hope thats the episode where we meet the coffee witch

Kabocha

You gonna call $CanadianTeaRetailer out lol

RebelVampire

as they both stare in horror

FeatheryJustice

Yes you are

Kabocha

I actually like the Coffee Puerh tbh! It's tasty. But I can see why Camellia might not. Is she not a fan of high caffeine, or does she prefer smaller doses at once

FeatheryJustice

Yes, they look at that and is like "Are they shipping us?" "Probably?" "Weird."

Camellia can not drink coffee because she is allergic.

Like how the Coffee Witch is allergic to tea, but can at least have herbals XD

mathtans

(Back from crib.) I suspect Vander is a spy from the warlocks. Only witches are female, the guys want in on the action.

I love diversiTEA.

RebelVampire

vander can be both, be a spy and a phantom thief. cause who is going to expect the spy is actually a thief

or maybe vander is a secret evaluator

like an undercover food safety inspector

but for tea

hes juding camellia and her knowledge

FeatheryJustice

Vander could also be a student in debt trying to get a part time job and is lucky Camellia doesn't look at resumes becuase he doesn't have any experience

RebelVampire

idk vander seems like he dresses too nice to be a student in debt. O_O unless that is the actual answer in which case vander please, sell your clothes and downgrade

FeatheryJustice

Oh god Vander is one of those guys who are like "I spend all my money to look good and now I am broke" XD

Also maybe Vander is a food inspector waiting for that one bug from the other episode to show up and he never does

Vander also at first wasn't going to be a character actually. It was only after I realized I needed an every day man type character for reasons to exposition at did I create him.

I'm glad people like him

RebelVampire

one thing from the story im really curious about is the vampires apparently? since there was that one dude who showed up and needed tea cause someone named krys was grumpy. im really curious about all that stuff cause i wanna know who this krys person is

FeatheryJustice

OH YEAH KRYS

mathtans

I do kinda wonder about Calen and her sword fighting in the house.

FeatheryJustice

HAHAHAAAA I love Krys, they are great

You will see them later.

And Calen was killing things with a coat hanger actually

mathtans

Just gotta listen for the Krys Anthem - Mum.

FeatheryJustice

Very sturdy coat hanger

mathtans

I guess if you don't have a coat, why not.

FeatheryJustice

Oh yes, and the random sword

That was just from off the wall

Like you know when you have like swords on display

mathtans

So, are we shipping Camellia and Rhurbi? Fruit and tea mix well, as we've been told. ^.^

Cheshire777

Reminding me of Narbonic- kinda creeping me out... @FeatheryJustice

mathtans

They've got that whole "I hate you when you don't call" vibe going too.

Cheshire777

Ping was supposed to be at front?

FeatheryJustice

Lol, Camellia isn't very good at remembering phones exist

And what is Narbonic?

RebelVampire

camellia watched too much harry potter and only sends messages by owl

FeatheryJustice

Also Draco also said they ship Cam and Rhubi

And yes, Camellia would do owl mail

mathtans

Camellia travels by unconventional means too.

Cheshire777

Old webcomic that finished, I'll find the link if you want?

FeatheryJustice

Yup, by the friend express

mathtans

Okay, Cam and Rhubi ftw. Vander will have to make due with Spyder.

Cheshire777

Mad scientists.

FeatheryJustice

LOL

Cheshire777

This conversation is rather disjointed.(edited)

FeatheryJustice

Yeah it is, alright, reeling it back in

mathtans

I gotta get my ships in before time elapses.

FeatheryJustice

So far, that's a popular ship

And I haven't seen that webcomic but I will check it out Cheshire

Cheshire777

Or three conversations...

RebelVampire

i will accept the vander and spyder ship

FeatheryJustice

Well it will be fun when they meet

mathtans

As far as the tea brewing life, I feel like she already had a change in her past. Maybe related to the injury. I don't see her deviating any more.

FeatheryJustice

And no one mentions mysterious person on the other side of magical tea cup

mathtans

Which, the logo?

Cheshire777

I'll put the link on general.

FeatheryJustice

Yup

mathtans

Hm, not sure it consciously registered.

That was the dude by the seaside or whatever.

FeatheryJustice

Don't worry

It's a really long sideplot

Kabocha

I can't wait to read more

FeatheryJustice

But yeah it's a cup that you can share liquids with another person on the other side

mathtans

Interesting how much got set up. Oh, that's clever.

Gotta make sure when you're rising it out that the person on the other end doesn't drink sudsy dishwater.

FeatheryJustice

I tend to write in a way where I am like "Here is Plot point A, which goes into A-A, into A-B, into A-C" Meanwhile "Plot B-G is with plot point G-A"

mathtans

Best with it!

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to FeatheryJustice, as well, for making Teasday. If you liked the comic, make sure to support FeatheryJustice’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/teasday/list?title_no=169870

FeatheryJustice’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/FeatheryJustice

FeatheryJustice’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/FeatheryFern

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #78

“why are the children all marching into the desert to die?”

list your three favorite scents. lilac, uhhh and then cinnamon and coffee, maybe? how do you ground yourself or recharge? sleep, go online... comfort food? my #1 is definitely ice cream have you ever been on a laptop inside a vehicle? no while on the road, do you play any road games? not anymore are you scared of semi-trucks? especially when you’re driving next to one? AHHHH YES if you have any pets, do you talk to them in a baby voice?  hell yeah! do you like screamo music? i do not. i want to be able to understand the words. like, they can even be in different languages, i don't care, i just want to understand clear words. what is the relationship between you and the person you last kissed? much to my dismay, there isn't one. if you could change your name what would you change it to? zoey, probably. have you ever tried weed?  no, and i have no desire to. how much effort did you put into your last relationship? way, way, way too much. are you a patient person? NOPE. do you have impulse control? DOUBLE NOPE can you use chopsticks? my tremors would never allow it. do you like the smell of gasoline? NO NO NO NO NONONONONO did you ever live in a house with more than one story? nope what’s your favorite fast food place? bojangle's what's your favorite alcoholic drink? i haven't tried many, but the best thing i've had thus far was a watermelon margarita thing. have you ever given yourself a tattoo? no, and i wouldn't. i'm very serious about the professionalism of my tats. do you ever buy your pet(s) birthday or christmas presents? sure do! can you lick your nose?  nope. can you lick your elbow?  nope. would you rather watch a movie in theater or at home?  defs in theaters. do you still own any vhs tapes? do you ever watch them?  no, mom got rid of them all. what hobby have you always wanted to pick up?  hmmm. crafts. have you ever rolled off your bed in your sleep?  no. have you ever had a penpal?  nope. do you put your shirt on or your pants on first?  pants are you afraid of spiders?  only if they are venomous or have extremely long legs in comparison to their bodies. have you ever been stung by a bee?  i haven't. do you enjoy board games?  no. what do you like on your burgers? (cheese, ketchup, mustard..)  cheese, ketchup, mustard, onion pieces, pickles how much water do you drink each day?  none. do you enjoy mario games? not particularly, but with friends, sure. has the last person you kissed met your father? he has. what’s your favorite breed of dog? akita inus, chow chows, beagles... do you swear in front of your parents?  i'm totally open around my dad, but i usually don't say "fuck" around mom. what would you do if you found out you were pregnant to the last person you kissed?  cry and probably become obsessed with the child's well-being, even while in utero. can you make yourself cry? i can't. what do you tend to drink a lot of? milk have you ever woke up crying from a bad dream? yes, and i once woke up screaming. have you ever had to block anyone online? i've been actively using the internet since dial-up, whatcha think? are you scared of ending up alone? i'm legitimately horrified. are your pets asleep right now, if you have any?  i'm not at home, so idk. have you ever done three or more shots in a row? i've never done shots. favorite undersea creature? dolphins i think, but i also really like jellyfish and whales. seahorses, too. describe the darker side to your personality.  more than anything, i can be viciously jealous. i have an interior savagery, but just barely enough control to contain it. what makes a movie really enjoyable for you? creative, whimsical story and artwork, drama, and relatable characters. favorite type of bird? owls. favorite forest animal? deer! do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectedly turned up pregnant right this second? absolutely not. what is your favorite video game console? why?  ps2 has the best games. do you like vanilla candles?  sure do. how many girlfriends/boyfriends have told you they love you? one, i think. juan might have... have you ever smoked a cigarette? no. who did you last share a taxi with? i've never been in one. do you vape? nope. do you enjoy the arctic monkeys?  i like two songs. where’s your favorite place to shop for clothes?  rebel's market. have you ever seen a mountain in person? i have. have you ever explored somewhere abandoned? i have. there's a shack and old house near my house that friends and i explored when i was younger. we got in trouble lol. have you ever found a four-leaf clover? i discovered a patch of four-leaf clovers the day after my dad left... (: would you rather live in a coastal town or a town closer to the forest? ohhh. can it be in the forest? are you lazy? i am, honestly. regularly burn incense? i used to. i need more sticks... who was your high school crush? i had a few. i was kinda interested in a guy named kyle, i really liked this boy sebastian, but my biggest crush was jason. are you cpr certified? no. who accompanied you to your first concert? mom, nicole, and jason. do you and your friends listen to similar music? depends on the friend. my best friend, no. do you believe in the idea of taking from the rich and giving to the poor? why or why not? no, because who says the rich don't deserve what they've accumulated? do you believe that animals are capable of “human” emotion? why not? it's very obvious that they feel emotion; now are their emotions the same as how we humans feel it, maybe not, but they obviously feel. who do you consider “family?” my mom, dad, ashley, nicole, katie, bobby, misty, a few aunts and uncles and uncles, colleen, chelsea, bradley, and despite having no relationship with him, jason will always be my family. could you sacrifice yourself for someone you barely knew? honestly, no. does the thought of having children scare you? horrifies me. i'd prefer to never imagine pushing a seven-pound human being out of my fucking vagina. xbox or playstation? playstation! have you ever asked someone out? i kinda-sorta initiated the asking out with aaron, but not exactly? when do you want to get married? i see 23 as an ideal marrying age, but there's literally no way that'll happen with me unless j comes back. did you like your middle school life? ACTUALLY fuck that. that's when my anxiety and depression started, and it was just... awkward and uncomfortable. have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yes and no... maybe. like, with jason, i thought to myself, "wow, he's really weird" when i met him, but at the same time, i found myself thinking, "this guy's gonna mean something." what’s your favorite zoo animal? meerkats, on the rare occasion they have them. do you have any plans for tomorrow? skating! :D what’s your favorite part about the fall? the colorful foliage, omg! which scooby-doo character are you most like (scooby, shaggy, daphne, fred, velma, the monster, scrappy?) probably scooby or shaggy. what “group” did you belong to in high school? i resonated/made friends with mostly the goths, emos, metalheads... describe your favorite pair of pj’s. a black pair of pajama pants with a design of harley quinn holding two guns sitting on her knees with "hey, puddin'" written beneath her. i usually wore them when i wanted j's dick honestly lmao. i still wear them tho honestly just 'cuz they're comfortable. if you could have any job in the world, which one would you want? meerkat biologist OR a member of the mythical crew how did you learn to ride a bicycle? my dad taught me. (: have you ever been to a sports game? hockey, yes. have you seen all the shrek movies? no and i cry every night because of it. have you ever finished a whole video game? of course do you know anyone with a pet snake? currently, i don't believe so. your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? they did split, and i live(d) with my mom. how does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? i've seen one picture of him with his current girlfriend, and i legitimately wanted to murder the bitch. no exaggeration. have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend? multiple times. what is on your bed right now? well, my own bed is in storage right now to my understanding, but the bed i'm using at colleen's currently just had pillows and blankets. are you someone’s best friend? i am! :D what do you think of when you think of australia? my friend shaylee ever ridden on a roller coaster? no, too scared. what is your birthstone? amethyst is anyone jealous of you? literally no reason to ever be. do any of your friends have children? not any close friends how did you get one of your scars? i scratched the fuck out of my leg. it was overly itchy. honestly, what is your point of a view of a friend who goes for their friend’s exes? consult your friend about it. when was the last time you laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe? when playing "cards against humanity" with colleen, chelsea, and bradley would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? zoo! do you sleep with a night light? no. do you bite your toenails? nope. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime? overall, i feel most connected to otep's lyrics. have you ever gone to the person you like’s best friend to help you out? no. who is the most blunt person that you know? colleen do you think you will be going to sleep soon? i might take a nap. what nervous habits do you have? my eyes dart, i play with/knead my hands, avoid eye contact, etc. when was the last time you were hit on by someone? i'm not sure. what is your ringtones on your cellular? "telescope" by starset do you wear makeup? rarely. do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? nope. what is your pet’s name? the only pet i personally "own" is teddy, a beagle-cocker spaniel mix. do you have any siblings? do you get along? my two immediate siblings are ashley and nicole. what is your favorite color? maroon. what color are your eyes? blue do you like your parents? i love them. how long does it take you to shower? like 8 minutes. is the last person you kissed older than you? by two years name everyone you kissed this year: no one is it awkward when you run into your ex’s? i've never "run into" him. i've seen him once, but it wasn't awkward honestly. have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? probably hundreds of times... do you change your phone background a lot? nope. think back to your last relationship. was it worth it? yes, it was. has anyone seen you in your underwear, other than mom? yep. do you hate being the first person to start a conversation? sure do. if you had to live off one type of fruit, which would you pick? strawberries what do you usually order from olive garden? spicy shrimp fritas. fucking perfection. how do you like your steak cooked? well done do you know anyone who self-harms? i know people who have, but i certainly hope they still don't. do you have any siblings? what are their names, age, and grade they are in? doing immediate siblings only. ashley: she's 24, i think, and she's graduated. nicole: she's 18 and is a freshman in college. do you know a schizophrenic person? yes. my own half-sister tiffany is a schizophrenic. do you own many pairs of shorts? i don't have any. is there a certain song you like to headbang to?  surprisingly, i don't headbang. is there a band/artist who has strange lyrics but you love them anyway?  rammstein's lyrics are rather different imo did you love playing hide and seek as a kid?  i really did! do you have a favorite font on the computer?  garamond, i assume. have you ever been severely burned?  nope. did you ever dream that you had a baby?  multiple times. what was the weirdest thing you ever saw cross the road?  hm, not sure... do you try clothes on before you buy them? i avoid that shit like the plague, but i guess if i have to. by society's standards, are you attractive? probably not, idk? mostly because i'm fat, so. i do have clear skin though? would you let your kid smoke weed? if i found my child smoking weed, that would probably be the closest i'd ever get to beating their fucking ass, to be frank about it. are you mentally stable? "no" should be the obvious answer. do you think marijuana is safer than alcohol? in some ways, sure. what do you hear right now? "the dope show" by marilyn manson, chelsea talking in her room... have you ever been in an abusive relationship? no. what color is your favorite bra? it's mostly baby pink, but has a black, swirly design on it. which would you rather have, a new puppy or kitten? i'd actually quite enjoy a kitten right now. if you could have one power, what would it be? shape-shifting. would you ever date out of your own race?   yeah. do you still watch movies intended for children?   every now and again. who is your favorite stand-up comedian?   john pinette. what is your strangest phobia?   whale sharks. what is the most pointless movie that you have ever seen?   "the purge."  just the concept of it was so stupid.  i mean, the film was okay, but still pointless. have you ever kissed someone of the same gender as you?   romantically, no. when a bee is coming close to you, do you stand still or run away?   depends on the kind of bee.  ex., wasp, i'm running.  honeybee, it's cool. are you self conscious about wearing a bathing suit?   very, yes. if you had to play one sport for a living, what would it be?   dance. have your parents ever thought you were gay? what happened?   i don't think so, no. what’s the best thing to eat for breakfast?   pancakes are your parents more liberal or conservative?   conservative, mostly, with some liberal views. when was the last time you saw your best friend?   this morning.  i am currently living with her; she's at work atm. how many jobs have you ever had? (including things like babysitting)   two. do you have family meals when it’s someones birthday?   we go out to eat somewhere nice-ish. are you comfortable talking to both your parents about sex and boys?   mom, sure, but i would never discuss sex with dad. have you ever wanted to be a teacher?   not at all. what do you think is overrated?   i don't really call things "overrated."  well-liked things are liked for a reason. what is underrated?   the band otep.  they should really be better known. can spiders jump?   yes, they can. there was a sculpture that was supposed to be displayed for a week in the rockefeller center in nyc of a falling woman - designed as a memorial to those who jumped or fell to their death from the world trade center. it was complained about as grotesque, inappropriate and describe as 'not art.’ what do you think?   who says something grotesque cannot be art?  it was absolutely art and carried with it a heavy message.  it shouldn't have been censored by not showing it. has anyone ever mistaken you for a satanist?   with my wardrobe, probably. what did you see today that was beautiful in an ordinary way?   i saw my best friend. are you dyslexic?   no sir. do you agree with the people who say that everyone is bi-sexual even if they don’t want to admit it?   heard that before, and it's bullshit. if you are the only human on the planet of the apes do you have sex with an ape?   ugh, no. do you believe that black people should get money to make up for their previous enslavement?   ... the fuck is this?  no???  look, i am in no way racist or anything, but there is no reason to pay african americans because of past mistreatment?  like, that shit's done and over with? have you ever tried to write poetry or song lyrics?   poetry, yeah. do you like men who have a sensitive side?   it's like.  mandatory for me. dangly earrings, hoop earrings, simple studs, or no earrings at all?   hmmm, studs. would you ever wear black lipstick? do you know anyone who does?   i do sometimes. do you lecture people about drugs?   if one prompts me too, yes. if you could pick the temperature of the outdoors for the rest of your life, what would it be?   like... 49, maybe? who was the last person to call you babe?   probably colleen, potentially juan. do you have family problems?   yes. were you smiling when you woke up this morning?   who the fuck just wakes up smiling? do you like being in pictures?   while it's great to be included, i only really like it if i'm taking the picture, 'cuz i know how to flatter my face. do you sneak out?   at 21, i can't exactly "sneak out," but when i was a teenager, no, i never did. how would you spend a day at the beach?   in the ocean have you ever experienced altitude sickness?   nope. do you ever make a big deal out of nothing?  only constantly. have you ever written anything on a bathroom stall?  nope. are your hands unsteady?   yes, i have an essential tremor. are you scared of moving on?  FUCKING HORRIFIED. when talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear?   right ear are you scared you’ll get a q-tip stuck inside your ear?   nope. do you use index cards to help you prepare for tests?   i never did. what’s your favorite flavor of sunflower seeds?   i don't like sunflower seeds. what's currently on your mind?   meh.  i feel... alone and unaccomplished.  i just found out a veeery old friend of mine is moving out with her girlfriend soon, and.  idk.  seeing her grow up like that makes me jealous.  i miss having another half, okay? what’s your favorite hairstyle on a guy?   kill me pls, bc i like emo/scene hair the most ;-; what color is your hairbrush?   hot pink have you ever dated someone with curly hair?   not full-blown curly, no.  very few of j's tips would be curly, but his hair overall was more wavy. how many of the people you’ve kissed have had brown eyes?   one. what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said to the person you like?   "i love you." are you currently in a “i wouldn’t mind if i lost 50 pounds” kind of mood?   losing 50 pounds would honestly be spectacular. are your parents religious?   yeah. would you like to have twins?   fuck no. if your best friend liked your last ex, what would you do?   oh, i'd tell her off. want to have kids before you’re 30?   it'd be ideal. has someone ever made a promise to you and broke it?   sure has. would you ever date anyone covered in tattoos?   sure. do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse?   female. are you interested in more than one person at the moment?   nope.

[hokagelog-blog]

Tom Foolery?

So someone from my past came back into my life recently, they didn’t leave on bad terms so they were more than welcome. I was honest right from the jump, I’m celibate and I want an actual relationship to grow in not waste my time. We even talked about people just “talking” and shit, I don’t like that cause of the double standard that dudes aren’t in a relationship so they can do as they please, meanwhile they expect their woman to not do the same. I am not for that shit. I wasn’t telling the guy he needed to make me his woman or anything, we were just really close friends at one point and had some pretty heated (i a good way) exchanges. I told him the side chick and side nigga mentality is tom foolery... he thought I was suggesting he was on some tom foolery ish. (that shouldve been a red flag right there). Sooooo a few days later we are still talking he seems to have matured a bit and is serious about pursuing me. So I let it happen. Saturday comes and he invites me over as im replying my little brother calls and is begging me to come babysit so he can stay at home. So I tell his mom what my plans were and she was like you guys can hang out here, i’ll even pick you up. I run it by him and all is well he is down. He says well what are we gonna do over there?  [my brothers mom has a hard time with calling and asking someone to do something right now and actually moving to get them in that instant] so he heads over and arrives as she is just pulling up to my house, so we are texting joking about my tardiness... as per usual. we hangout vibe play fortnite together and my brother ends up hanging with us down stairs. so we sat awkwardly on the couch with so much sexual tension you could have cut it with a cold knife. when he leaves i kiss him and tell him it wasnt supposed to be like this but i had a really good time. He was really good with my brother, my brothers mom and bf adored him. 

So a few days pass and all is still well, we express our mutual desire to move forward romantically and possibly sexually. I may be celibate but I am very open when it comes to sex, I am a very sexual being; it is why i choose to be celibate. One night we are sending some lewdy photo’s back and forth. he asks if i recall when i used to call him daddy.. i did. then he asked about kinks, i was fully aware of ignorance based on how he structured and asked the question but i obliged. He asked if i had a daddy kink or if i was into ddlg (which he called daddy’s little girl). so not ready to completely oust myself I simply say “yikes well just out my kinks why dont ya” and he says he has no problem addressing me as princess and such......so next day i am getting ready for some personal time and he says he will join me, no biggie we have done this before on multiple occasions. but we play onto the ddlg aspect we spoke on..... everything was great but the next day i wake up and he has blocked me on snapchat, but we are texting, so i think nothing of it or dont address it because im at work and dont have the time to entertain an argument or someones weird feelings. once i get off i see that he has actually blocked me on facebook and has now blocked my number as well. i have a friend text him and ask why i was blocked on everything, he responds with he was embarrassed and felt nasty after everything the night before.... i have called this many daddy many times before, has he ever called me princess but instead by my name. i am not at all hurt by this but i am extremely confused. who was being kink shamed and who was kink shamming, was he kink shaming me or himself? does he not know how to delete text messages? does he not know that this dynamic can exist purely in the bedroom? I am confusion if no one know but us how are you embarrassed...? I just do not get it .. also we are irl friends and have mutual friends and will definitely see each other again so idk man