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mochamadeleines · 3 months ago

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Sins, Two Through Four <3

Javi doesnt do good girls. Literally and figuratively.

Theyre nice, sure. Honeyed voices and beautiful eyes. But theyre just not for him. He prefers to stick with what he knows best. Messy, broken, women who are looking to distract themselves with him and his body. Sharp eyes topped with heavy eyeliner and eyeshadow. Women who know what to do with him.

Hes been soiled by the world, therefore belongs with others whove met the same fate. But, hes okay with that. (3.3k words)

tags!! 18+ javier peña x reader ! one shot! inoccent reader i guess?, no set era just vaguely somewhere in the late 80s early 90s :p, since its like entirely from his perspective hes only referred to as Javi and not javier sorry if that bothers u </3, corruption, religious allegories, steve and connie r there for five seconds, dubious I suppose cuz they be drinking, smut but its not like Good and its also there for about five second lolol.., p in v sex, blow jobs, rough sex, lots of depressing internal dialogue for javi Uhhhhhh, Sus thoughts abt causing harm to u I GUESS?? Toxic javi of course lol. kinda bad boy x good girl concept here but he wants to make u WORSE. mannn idk, some dom/sub dynamics if u squinttt

authors notes!! hi! Ok my first Javi fic LOOOOL been binging narcos and i had to take a break from my joel fic in the works to write this shit. I SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY PUMPING THIS OUT AHHHHH Beinf as that ive been working on it For One whole day it may not b my best work but i still had fun!! i kinda like the religious allegories Uhh IM NOT RELIGIOUS OR SCHOLARYLY OR ANYTHING so take whatever i reference with a grain of artsy salt.. enjoy!!!!

Javi doesnt do good girls. Literally and figuratively.

Hes been soiled by the world, therefore belongs with others whove met the same fate. But, hes okay with that.

That brings him to now, at this crowded bar with Steve, later Connie. And you, he guesses. Hes never met you but hes heard of you. Tonight youre tagging along so thats that.

Anyways, Steve is updating him on his daughter and something else about enrolling her in private school but New York City is wildly expensive. Javis caught the eye of a pretty brunette further away from the bar hes sitting at. Shes in a black miniskirt begging to get taken off.

“Stop eye-fuckin’ her, Im talkin’ to you.”

“Relax, Im listening.” Javi takes another drag from his cigarette, tapping away the ash into a tray.”Youre a hard worker, Im sure you can find a way to move up and earn a little more for Olivias private schooling.”

Steve sighs, nursing his beer as he thinks. “Maybe. Just dont wanna be away from her more than i have to be.”

“Mm.”

The brunette beckons him over, and Javi is already sliding off the stool to meet her. “Ill be r-”

“Steve!”

Connie is here, and so is her-

Friend?

Youre wearing a baby blue slip with sheer white tights and a thin, white cardigan. Youre pretty. Its only when you introduce yourself and he meets your eyes that hes sure. Youre good. And he doesnt do good. Youre not his type, Javi decides. Lame.

He moves down a seat so you can sit next to Connie whos also next to Steve, and you seem nervous. He gets the feeling you dont come out to places like this a lot. Its too.. Grungy. People smoke inside and get crazy drunk and dance. Probably not your speed. Youre easy to read.

Steve, “Remind me again how you know each other?”

“From work! Shes a nurse.” Connie smiles at Steve first, and then to you. A nurse, of course. Because youre good and its practically oozing off of you. Maybe hes wrong. He hopes hes wrong. Only because youre so pretty, with pretty pink blush and lipgloss.

You now, “I work in pediatrics.”

You work with children? Jesus christ.

You help people- help your community and take care of children. Javi had to watch children die, over and over, all too complicit each time it happens. No, youre not his type. Hes not into angels. Javi is far from holy and isnt about to desecrate you.

Then there's this feeling that starts to stir in his gut. An ugly feeling that wants to scratch through flesh and bone to get out. He takes the final drag of his cigarette before smushing it into the ashtray. Why do you bother him so much? Maybe its because upon your arrival that pretty brunette he was eyeing disappeared. A real shame.

But youre here, and your breasts are softly spilling over the neckline of your dress, and while the length is enough to cover your ass when youre standing, the way it looks while youre sitting is a whole different story. Youre good eye candy. Glass half full thinking.

He clears his throat. “How long-”

The bartender interrupts with a pearly smile. Hes asking if you want anything and hes obviously into you. Annoyingly so.

While youre ordering, Steve and Connie walk away to dance, and Connie stops by Javi, dipping her head to his ear. “Please, please dont fuck my friend.”

Ironic.

“Dont worry,” He leans his elbow on the counter, finishing the rest of his whiskey. “Shes not my type. Go have fun.”

You order three shots of vodka and apple juice. Its a little cute the way you hold your nose while you down each shot and chase it with some juice. Javis on his next glass of whiskey, watching how some of your drink rolls down your collar bone and into the valley of your breasts.

The sight of you is downright sinful. Its not fair.

“You need another shot or are you good now?”

Youre laughing, batting your hand dismissively. “No, No. Im good. I hate alcohol so I wanted to get this part over with and loosen up a little.”

“You dont have to drink it if you dont want to.”

“I like being drunk, just not drinking.”

“Fair enough.”

You fold your hands in your lap, and spin your seat side to side. “You were asking me something earlier?”

“How long have you been a nurse?”

“Three years now. I was working at a different hospital until recently. Thats how I met Connie.”

“Ah.”

“And you? What do you do?”

Javi lets the silence linger a bit. Fuck it. “Uh, CIA- but im retired now.”

“Oh- Yes! Right! Connie- She told me. Im sorry, you probably dont wanna talk about it.”

This is what makes his gums start itching. Most women- who are just as tragic as him- just bat their lashes and tell him its sexy he works for the government.

But you- Youre good. So you actually care about how hes feeling, and arent just trying to fuck him. Maybe that could change?- Ugh- No- no. Just no. Youll be ruined. Youd get dirty and thatd weigh him down like everything else does. Plus, Connie told him not to.

“Um. Have you done anything fun recently? Aside from all that?” Cute how you try to change the subject to spare his feelings.

Javi breaks open a new pack of cigarettes, slipping one out and putting it between his lips, then flicks his lighter on. Once, twice. A fifth time. No dice. The fucking thing ran out fluid.

“Fuck,” He grumbles.

“Ah! Hold on!”

An eyebrow is raised.

You dig through your purse, and pull out a disposable lighter. You thumb the sparkwheel a couple times to get the flame going.

“Do you mind?”

Javi hums no and leans forward. You do too, cupping your hand over the flame in case it goes out. It lights, and he gets a good drag in.

“Thank you.”

“Youre welcome.” And youre smiling again and Javi wants to shake you around and see where youre hiding your halo. Hes good at getting information out of people. He could get you to confess.

“Any reason you carry around a lighter?”

“Uhh. For medicinal purposes.”

“Cheeky.”

You spin in your chair once, all the way around then wobble when you stop. Javi shoots his arm out to grab yours and keep you steady.

“Careful.”

“Thanks.” A short breath. “Still think I need another shot?”

Javi smirks. “Oh, definitely.”

And youre ordering two shots. Bold.

“To answer your question, I havent done any fun things, no- Oh actually, you know what? I went to the art museum the other day.”

“The MET?”

“Mhm.”

“I went there a few months ago! Its beautiful isnt it? Do you have a favorite exhibit?”

“Probably European sculptures. The ones under the skylights were my favorite.”

“Yeah, those are beautiful.” You look off, dreamy.

Youre a childrens nurse, youre bad at drinking, you like art, and Javier feels sick just sitting next to you. Theres so much ugly out there, hes sure youre aware, and yet youre as bright as ever infront of him. Youd probably fit right in with The Triumph of the Church.

Theres only one word that can describe that ugly feeling swirling in him.

Envy. He wishes he could be as untouchable as you feel right now.

Theres a push and pull. He wants to taste your lips and roll up your dress and roughen you up, but he cant- he shouldnt. You dont deserve to get felt up by someone so unclean.

And yet,

Your beautiful smile, one that always reaches your eyes, and your precious laugh, and the way youve been nervously playing with your hands this entire time makes him want to break you. To rip those wings out and keep you from flying.

Javi really is devilish.

“Okay, shot time!” You push one of the glasses towards him.

“Im not taking a shot,” He takes another puff from the cigarette, then lets it rest on the ashtray.

“C’mon, Javier! Pleeeeeaaaase?”

“Javi.” He emphasizes.

“Okay.” You nod, “Javi, please?”

“Fine.”

Alright, alright. It didnt take much, but to be fair ‘please’ and ‘Javi’ just sound so good together when you say it.

Clink!

You count to three, and together you take the shot. Javi only grimaces at the taste and youre scrambling for the juice after letting go of your nose. Youre so damn messy about it too. Javi gets the bartender to get some napkins.

“I think I'm done,” You cough.

“I think youre done too.” He smiles, “Do you normally spill your drinks on yourself?”

You patiently hold still while Javi wipes down your mouth, then your chin, then your collarbone, careful to not get too close to your chest. He eyes the dainty necklace that carries your first name initial.

“Noooo, it all just happens so fast, you know? Oh! And thank you for cleaning me up.” Youre smacking your lips together, “Ah shit, my gloss.”

“Yeah, looks like you ate it all in the chaos.” He glances over at the four shot glasses, all stained.

You groan after digging through your purse. “Fuck, I left my compact at home.”

“Being a girl seems hard.”

“It is.” You sigh, albeit dramatic. “Ill be back.”

You slide off the stool and almost eat shit actually. At least Javi is there to catch you. Again. This might be a recurring theme tonight considering how many drinks you had. Must be a lightweight.

“Im sorry- Fuck, Im so sorry,” Youre laughing again, and it gets a laugh out of him too. Back on the stool you go.

“If you fall again Im not gonna catch you.”

“Thats okay, I wouldnt catch me either.”

Javi thinks for a moment, curious.

“I could, yknow, put the gloss on you. If you want.”

“Really? Youd do that?”

Your eyes are big and bright, lashes accentuated by your mascara. The way you look at him makes him feel oddly special. Its not sultry, or wanting. You have this natural allure to you. Angelic. That alone makes him want to touch you again. To yank you down from the clouds.

“Yeah, gimmie the gloss.”

You put it in his palm and lean towards him. Javi messes with the applicator, listening to the squish of product inside the tube. Seems easy enough.

Javi situates himself more comfortably in the chair, then holds your chin as he applies it. Youre well behaved the entire time, like he expected, except for the fact that you lost your balance again and gripped onto his thigh to keep you from falling. He clears his throat. There are blaring alarms in his head telling him to put distance between you both.

“Sorry.”

“Its alright. I dont mind.”

You swallow nervously. Any angel would be nervous if they were this close to an agent of hell. Get it? Agent?

Javi tucks away the fly aways first. The applicator swipes across your bottom lip, and hes squinting at the little sparkles in the gloss. Its a nice touch. His thumb rubs away any excess to keep it neat.

“Good job for not falling again.”

“I had some help.” And youre both grinning now.

“Mkay, all done.”

You smack your lips, nodding. “Thank you.”

This is the moment where Javi should let you go. He should excuse himself and find someone who isnt you, someone whos filthy just like him, and have them instead.

You tilt your head in his palm, letting him cradle your face.

But youre so pretty, and youre so sweet, and youre right there.

That feeling from earlier is bubbling up again, the need to ruin you. You might look prettier covered in bite marks and sweat, with your hair messed up and your recently applied gloss all gone. Again.

He shouldnt.

But then again, what are sinners even good for if not this? Converting others and carrying on the missions of the Devil himself, you know, the works. Fuck, its not like he wasnt doing it anyways. Shout out to the government.

Javi observes you, trying to make a decision. “Hey,”

“Hiii.”

“Can I take you home?”

Its was easy, and you were so well behaved about it too. You did a little nervous yapping on the way to his apartment but it was cute. He learned you had a pet cat, and he tells you about the dog he grew up with. You talk about the shitty weather recently and Javi tells you he got rained on and slipped going up the stairs. It settles your nerves. Good. His phone keeps ringing in the glove compartment, but he just tells you to ignore it. Steve no doubt.

He makes sure to hold your hand on the way up to his apartment, giving it a squeeze before he lets go to open the door.

Javi’s heart never usually pounds this hard bringing any woman to his place, and its downright sinnister how excited he is.

When the door closes, you both leave your shoes at the door.

“Want anything? I dont have any apple juice but I can give you orange juice? Water if you want that instead?”

“Orange juice sounds good.”

You begin to linger about his living room. Youre probably getting a feel for how impersonal it all is. Plain. His room is a bit more interesting, at least.

Javi hands you the glass and shucks off his leather jacket, draping it over one of the kitchen chairs.

The first time he kisses you, is while walking through to the entrance of his bedroom. One hand gripping your hip and the other cradling the back of your head. He swallows ever whimper, every sigh, every squeak until the back of his knees hit the edge of the mattress. Javi pulls away, watching the string of spit snap and cling to your bottom lip.

“Are you good at following directions?”

“Yes-Yes. I am.” You choke out.

Now sat on the bed, “Great. On your knees then.”

Tonight, youre going to pray. Youre going to sing.

You hesitate to get down, but do it with no complaints. Javi stretches over to the bedside table, grabbing a spare pack of cigarettes and lighter.

Your eyes are on him, patiently waiting for another command.

He continues to smoke at a leisurely pace, petting your head and caressing the apples of your cheeks. Youre leaning into his hand affectionately again.

Youre hit with some of the excess smoke he breathes out, coughing a bit.

“Javi-”

“No more talking. Understand?”

A beat passes, and you nod again, only shuffling forward to rest your head on the inside of his thigh. Javi taps away the ash.

“Good girl.”

You stay down there for a little while, only squirming and wiggling to relieve the soreness settling into your knees. You dont talk, you dont whine, you dont go grabbing at him. You stay put because he didnt tell you to do anything else. Youre good. Angels are loyal to a fault.

When you do get a command, youre perking up like a dog. Cute. Javis telling you to take his cock out.

You go for it, and he tuts at you. “Do it slow.”

And so, youre doing it slowly now, pulling out the leather from under the buckle, opening it up and then popping open the button to his jeans. Your lips press into a thin line, looking up at him for reassurance.

“Go on.”

His zipper is pulled down at a snails pace, and your eyes widen at the lack of underwear. No surprise there. Javi sighs when you take him your hand.

He lets you feel him up curiously, your thumb wisping over his flushed tip, smearing along the white beads gathering there.

“Put it in your mouth.”

You stiffen, unsure. Javis reminded that youre good and you probably dont do this kind of thing a lot.

“Its not hard, nena. Promise. Want me to teach you?”

Youre nodding now, more eagerly.

“Start by kissing it.”

Tentatively, you kiss starting from the bottom up- That much you know how to do- So its a good start. He sighs out the last bit of smoke and stretches over to the bedside again to put out the cigarette.

After kissing, youre licking, and after licking, youre finally trying to swallow him. He groans, holding the back of your head and coaxing you to take more.

You gag, backing out to catch your breath then taking him in again.

“Jus’ like that- Fuck-”

And somehow the slight inexperience gives you the upperhand. You want to be good for him, and your clumsy hands are doing as much as they can to make up for your lack of deep-throating capabilities.

Its when you suck harshly on the head that he hunches forward with a gasp. “Yeah-Yes.”

You do it again, and again, and hes so fucking close now but he stops you. Not yet.

“You did good.” Javi reassures you. “Get up.”

You wobble up onto your feet and hes pulling you into a kiss, hands exploring you all over with urgency. He needs it now, to do what he wanted to do at the bar when he first started talking to you. He needs to drag you down with him.

Javi pulls your cardigan off, and then your dress, and as more layers of your clothing come off the more he cant wait. Youre moaning under his tongue, only squirming when he nips at the flesh of your torso, leaving a trail of blossoming bruises in his wake. He tells you to lay down and you follow accordingly.

Javi kisses up your stomach, and the junction between your neck and shoulder. You almost speak, almost. And it has his dick harder than he thought it could get. Youre still obeying. Fucking incredible.

He pulls your hips forward, making you whimper. A finger traces through your folds, and he practically gushes with pride just feeling what hes done to you so far. He hasnt even gotten to the best part.

“Talk to me,”

Youre babbling now, “K-Keep touching me- Dont stop. Please, Javi.” There it is again. ‘Please’ and ‘Javi’. He cant say no to someone whos been so reverent thus far.

He rewards you by tracing soft circles around your clit, watching the way your abdomen flexes at the pressure. The combination of nervousness and arousal has your thighs quaking around his forearm. You give in so easy.

Javi tells you to lay on your stomach, Then, hes pressing kisses up your spine to soothe you. To sedate you.

You practically crumble when his cock reaches all the way inside you. This is it. Hes going to rip those obnoxious fucking wings out of your back.

“Javi,” You wheeze, clawing at the sheets. His hand sits on the nape of your neck to keep you pinned down. Javi grunts, doubling forward over your back. Its almost like hes punishing your guts just because youre you.

He grabs your wrists instead, pulling them behind your back and anchoring himself with one hand. The other curls into your hair, yanking your head up from the pillow you covered in drool.

You sob, trembling when Javi buries himself to the hilt. Hes panting over your neck like a dog, licking and nipping there like one too.

“Thank you,” You sniffle, twisting your neck to get a glimpse of him. Your mascaras running down your face. Humble, even in the face of your own sacrilege.

Javi shushes you with a sloppy kiss. Hell only accept your thanks when hes finally run you dry.

Tonight is the night you fell from grace. All because of him.

#javier peña #narcos #pedro pascal #mocha writes #javier pena x reader #narcos fanfiction #smut #javier x reader #javier pena x you #oneshot #tired of over analyzing this so im just posting SIGHHSHSSS

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lumilasi · 2 months ago

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"Lone wolf's a Dead Wolf. Healthy Wolf protects the Pack."

Earlier this week, I reblogged a fanart piece for the Mouthwashing game, wondering why it was so popular, as while I had seen the game months earlier, seeing Tumblr get so into it was surprising as at the time, it didn't stand out to me too much when I first watched it. After being nosy and snooping around the tags, I now fully get why it has become such a phenomenon here.

Anyway, the whole thing kind of inspired me to want to make my own lil space crew. I'll be keeping their designs simple though, as I don't wanna stress myself out with this too much; its just a small side thing for funsies. I don't have full design ideas for others yet, but I figured I can at least post this guy for starters. I admittedly don't fully like the poster one, buuuut IDK how to fix it rn so I'll leave it as is.

More info about him below: (under the cut bc ONCE AGAIN my descriptions get far too long....)

The poster's Lone wolf quote is basically Stefan's mantra; it both shows how despite what he may seem like at first glance, he very much cares about the people around him, and how the whole "lone wolf" thing isn't even realistic (and in a way, harmful way of thinking), and Stefan knows that.

When I say "dad" I mean he is the responsible friend who tries to keep most shenanigans at bay - mainly from their tech assistant Mara.

The person yelling for him is in fact Mara

He's bi, tends to be oblivious to people's crushes on him because of a lot of self-loathing caused by what happened. He also learns later on he is polyamorous too.

He met pretty freaky people in prison, but NOBODY was as scary as his current captain, according to him.

His childhood friend has a crush on him, and so does the medic lady. He is aware of Matt's crush on him, but somehow completely oblivious to Cherry, even though she shows it more obviously.... (the Captain and the systems officer find it VERY fun to watch)

Those two aren't competitive or anything about their shared crush, they're both the kind of people that just want their loved ones to be happy and would be happy for either if they got lucky - provided the dumbass would notice either.....

His wolf motif is because of his surname meaning "wolf"

BG STORY STUFF: Stefan wears a gas mask, because of his sensitivity to a common gas type utilized in most spaceships' systems in this story; a special type of non-flammable gas, that unfortunately can cause hallucinations, and in his case, causes bouts of severe aggression/Lack of sense of pain.

-----> The reason why he has an odd reaction is because of some evil scientist shenanigans he had to go through as a kid, unknowingly to him and his mum, who thought the doctors were trying to cure a terrible illness he supposedly had. (They were just testing out brainwashing stuff, you know, usual evil government bullshit)

------> he ended up in prison because while working in another ship, he had a severe fit and killed a lot of his coworkers (whom he already had negative emotions towards due to their shitty behavior towards the woman staff - he was raised better by his mama)

-----> There was a massive riot in the prison he was in, hence he managed to escape.

His friend insisted on helping and got him in the ship; Stefan initially avoided everyone else like plague afraid he'd have a fit, but did grow fond of the oddball group pretty quickly.

Then, during a space-pirate raid, he learned that he can actually recognize this group even in that state, so they aren't in danger from him - plus their captain is a very prepared woman, and had already figured out his history. (She has stuff to knock him out to sleep it off)

#artists on tumblr #my oc #mouthwashing #mouthwashing inspired at least #lumi's art scribbles #lumi's chaotic creations #digital art #Stefan Wilk #THIS crew will NOT have a Jimbo in it rest assured #Quite frankly Jinglertits would not survive with these guys and gals for even a second #because they would INSTANTLY KNOW and you don't wanna end up on the bad side of this group trust me #It still is fascinating to me how such an amusingly named game ended up being so well written and horrifying #kudos to indie developers once again #Stargazer crew

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up-in-space-reading · 5 months ago

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Average Weekly Screentime - Chap 7: Another Not-Date

pairing: Jake Peralta x Amy Santiago

word count: 4208

warnings/tags: college au, texting, drunk texting, text fic (mostly, there's prose a few chaps in), bets, bisexual!jake peralta, jake peralta has adhd, parties, drinking and alcohol, sexual references, implied sexual content (nothing explicit, just suggested its going to happen/has happened), friends to lovers, swearing, mentions of cannibalism, lighthearted threats of violence (typical rosa stuff yk), fluff

read on ao3

Average Weekly Screentime masterlist

Story Summary: texting fic college AU with the squad! It's the beginning of the school year and while everyone else thinks it'll be the same as the previous year, Gina has a feeling things are going to be different and wagers a bet with Rosa and Charles. Told through all the various group chats everyone is in.

authors note: firstly! omg i got this chapter out so quickly i can't believe it but i've got my steam back for this one so we're jumping right in!! secondly! thank you to everyone who has commented and left kudos, i'm giving each one of you a tender kiss on the forehead and a cup of your preferred hot beverage. thirdly! todays upload is gonna be a double upload, this chapter with jake and amy and the next chapter will be a short one with gina, charles and rosa that takes place at the same time as this chapter. i hope you enjoy both of them!

thanks as always for reading <3

Jimmy Jabbers

[08:10am, Wednesday]

Pineapples: its offensive im awake so early

Four Eyes: It’s not that early?

Pineapples: its literally so early

Queen G: hes right Queen G: waaay too early to be awake Queen G: but if i dont show up for jasons class he’ll kill me

Four Eyes: You need to stop calling your professor by his first name

Queen G: not until i get in trouble for it!

Mr Grapes: I’m just glad my classes haven’t changed rooms Mr Grapes: I’d hate to get lost… again

Pineapples: i would help u charles

Mr Grapes: Thanks jakey

RoRo: some of us don’t have classes until later and don’t appreciate being woken up by an annoying group chat

Queen G: mute ur phone like everyone else and stop complaining

RoRo: test me gina, I dare you

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[09:30am, Wednesday]

Cameron: Now that you’re more awake I figured we should discuss our study schedule? Cameron: If you still want to Cameron: No pressure

Ferris: ill probs fail if i dont so yes i do Ferris: im still good for all our usual days

Cameron: Great! I will see you this afternoon then?

Ferris: cant wait!

Jimmy Jabbers

[10:05pm, Wednesday]

Pineapples: 1 image attachment Pineapples: im begging rocks to not look edible

Mr Grapes: Oh yeah I’d eat that

Queen G: that rock is so gorgeous i wanna do more than eat it Queen G: wanna do unspeakable things to that rock

Pineapples: i like the way you think G

Mr Grapes: doing t h i n g s to the rock is probably a bit far for me but I’ll let you guys have your moment

RoRo: you guys fucking rocks?

Pineapples: and what if i am???

RoRo: i think I respect the attempt

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[10:12pm, Wednesday]

Ferris: r u asleep? Ferris: well if ur asleep u cant answer these messages to tell me Ferris: and if u were to answer then u would be awake Ferris: so idk what i expect here Ferris: but if i keep messaging i might wake u up which would then make you awake AND mad

Cameron: I’m not asleep and you didn’t wake me up

Ferris: sweet Ferris: sooo Ferris: what u up to?

Cameron: The usual, creating a study plan for the semester

Ferris: shouldve guessed

Cameron: What are you up to?

Ferris: practicing catching nuts in my mouth after throwing it in the air and watching spiderman

Cameron: Can’t you and Rosa do trick shots with donut holes? Why do you need to practice that?

Ferris: this is waaaaay more difficult ames Ferris: when rosa throws the donut hole at me i can calculate the landing Ferris: throwing nuts for me to catch is more difficult Ferris: less time to calculate the landing

Cameron: I didn’t realise there was a whole art to catching food in your mouth

Ferris: of course there is! Ferris: it isnt something u just get good at overnight

Cameron: Maybe you could teach me then?

Ferris: it would be my pleasure

Cameron: Unfortunately I have to go to sleep now though..

Ferris: aw damn

Cameron: Back to classes and in the swing of things, need to keep my schedule

Ferris: fair enough Ferris: goodnight ames

Cameron: Goodnight Jake

Unnamed Chat

[02:37pm, Saturday]

Jake: i need some advice and ur the most responsible person i know

Terry: Seriously?

Jake: yes Jake: and i cant tell any of my other friends bc they cant keep a secret

Terry: You think that I can?

Jake: idk Jake: can u?

Terry: Yes I can Terry: What’s going on man?

Jake: i miiiiight have a little crush on someone

Terry: Do I get to know who it is? Or do I have to guess?

Jake: uh idk..

Terry: Is it Amy?

Jake: well…

Terry: Got it in one, Terry can tell you’re head over heels

Jake: i wouldnt go THAT far Jake: ANYWAYS i need ur help

Terry: What for?

Jake: i like her!! Jake: what do i do???????? Jake: im scared to tell her, what if she doesnt feel the same

Terry: You don’t have to tell her if you don’t want to, but then you’ll never know if she even likes you back. You can tell her and risk your friendship, but then you’ve been honest with her

Jake: BUT what if she doesnt like me back terry???? Jake: she hasnt given any sign she likes me back

Terry: How do you know that?

Jake: idk…

Terry: So you just assumed she doesn’t like you back?

Jake: … Jake: i regret telling u

Terry: Haha, no you don’t Terry: Listen, what you do is up to you but my advice is to at least consider telling her, you never know what could happen Terry: If I hadn’t taken a chance I wouldn’t have Sharon, sometimes you gotta take risks

Jake: god i hate how much of a romantic u are

Terry: Put on some Taylor Swift and have a think about it

Jake: i do NOT listen to taylor swift

Terry: Did you know Gina has access to your spotify account?

Jake: im gonna kill her Jake: fine ill listen to tay and consider it Jake: thanks ter

Terry: Anytime! Keep me updated!

DDC

[03:02pm, Saturday]

Jacob: gina get off my spotify account

G: whats the big deal? G: u dont even pay for it, ur mom does

Jacob: yeah but thats MY account Jacob: get ur own

G: who even told u

Jacob: terry ratted u out

G: u were talking to ter?

Jacob: just needed his advice on something Jacob: and he let slip that i listen to taylor swift which is PRIVATE INFORMATION

G: hahaha yeah i told him that

Jacob: worst friend ever

G: what advice did u need from him???

Jacob: dw about it

G: okaayy

Dance Squad

[03:08pm, Saturday]

G-Hive: some suspicious happenings on this day

Scary: I probably don’t care

Charlese: Dish!

G-Hive: jake was talking to terry, specifically asking him for advice on something

Charlese: Aw why wouldn’t he ask us?

G-Hive: have a think boyle

Charlese: No way, you don’t think?

Scary: Gina i am begging you to get a life

G-Hive: this is my life get used to it G-Hive: and yes charles I DO think so G-Hive: i for one will be watching with great interest

[05:26pm, Thursday]

G-Hive: its been almost a week and nothing…

Charlese: Yeah I think we may have been a bit delusional with that one

G-Hive: i stand by it

Scary: you shouldn’t

Charlese: It’s possible that he was talking to Terry about what we think he was but he’s just not done anything or Terry gave bad advice

G-Hive: that is a possibility G-Hive: maybe i need to give him a pep talk

Scary: you give awful pep talks

G-Hive: so do u!

Charlese: I could do it?

Scary: no

G-Hive: no

Charlese: Fine…

Scary: no one needs to say anything because that’s meddling

G-Hive: UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH let me have my FUN

Scary: my fun is stopping your fun

Jimmy Jabbers

[05:02pm, Saturday]

Pineapples: movie night in my dorm? Pineapples: the specials tonight are princess bride and pizza

Mr Grapes: Count me in!

Queen G: me too Queen G: is the pizza free

Pineapples: absolutely not im not made of money

Queen G: ugh

RoRo: sure ill come

Pineapples: wonderful! Pineapples: @Four Eyes u in?

Four Eyes: Sure, I’m in Four Eyes: What time do you want us there?

Pineapples: whenever Pineapples: im gonna order pizza now so id say get here soon before i eat it all

Mr Grapes: Be there soon!!

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[06:04pm, Saturday]

Ferris: draft message: i think i feel the same way about you that westley does about buttercup

Cameron: draft message: I think I feel the same way about you that Buttercup does about Westley Cameron: draft message: I prefer you to Westley

Ferris: draft message: youre prettier than buttercup

Jimmy Jabbers

[06:48pm, Tuesday]

Pineapples: hey guys if terry asks u to work out with him say no Pineapples: for the love of everything pure in this world say no

Mr Grapes: What do you MEAN you worked out with Terry???

Queen G: that sounds like torture

Pineapples: i cant feel my body but also everything hurts Pineapples: he said if i keep going to the gym then it will stop hurting Pineapples: i dont believe him

Four Eyes: Genuinely, how did you make it through the session?

Pineapples: i was pretending to train for when the gays rise up against the rich Pineapples: obviously

Four Eyes: Obviously

Queen G: obv

RoRo: your level of fitness is concerning RoRo: but does terry have video evidence of this by any chance?

Pineapples: rosa no

Queen G: brb asking him

Sexy Bitches

[07:00pm, Tuesday]

Sexy: ter bear im begging u here Sexy: pls tell me u have video of jake at the gym

Ter Bear: Of course I do, it was a struggle holding back the laughter

Sexy: ur my fave person ever

Ter Bear: 1 video attachment

Jimmy Jabbers

[07:03pm, Tuesday]

Queen G: terry is my fave person in the world rn Queen G: 1 video attachment

Pineapples: HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME

RoRo: oh i almost feel bad for you

Pineapples: almost???

RoRo: you did this to yourself

Mr Grapes: Your face is a concerning shade of red in that video

Four Eyes: I feel bad for laughing..

Pineapples: never exercising again

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[01:32pm, Thursday]

Cameron: On my way to the library now, meet you there?

Ferris: derfinitely

Cameron: I’ll be at the usual table in the corner

[01:37pm, Thursday]

Cameron: Someone took our table.. Cameron: I’m at a table near the couches

Ferris: surely we sit on the couches today

Cameron: I don’t know..

Ferris: pleeaaassseeeeee Ferris: ill do work i promise

Cameron: Alright fine, be here soon though or I’ll change my mind

Ferris: sprinting as we speak!!!

Amy isn’t sure how they got so comfortable on the couches, or when the two of them got so comfortable with each other in the first place. In a surprising turn of events Amy is sat sideways on the couch with her back leaning against the arm rest and her legs in Jake’s lap, her laptop was perched precariously on her own lap while Jake used her legs as a phone stand – having abandoned studying for the day.

She had very quickly learned all of Jake’s quirks when it came to studying, even if they weren’t doing work for the same subject he worked better when someone else was around. He needed regular breaks to look on his phone which Amy didn’t usually need, but he also needed prompting to get back to it.

At this point in the afternoon his brain had decided it had had enough and wasn’t going to let Jake focus on anymore work, but when Amy told him she was going to stay in the library and continue studying he said he’d keep her company. They mostly sat in a comfortable silence, ambient noises of the college library providing background to their silence.

Every so often Jake would show her a meme he found funny, but otherwise didn’t bother her too much and Amy was almost disappointed he wasn’t distracting her as much as she’d like. So by the time it got close to 4pm Amy decided to follow Jake’s lead and finish up for the day, giving herself a break couldn’t hurt.

She closed her laptop and set it on the coffee table in front of the couch which currently had all their other books sitting on it. After packing up she sat and observed Jake for what felt like minutes but in reality was no more than 30 seconds, she noticed the way the corners of his lips quirked up when he read something funny and an intrusive thought told her how she would like to kiss him there.

Jake then noticed Amy had put her laptop away and looked up at her with a smile while she tried to hide how embarrassed she felt at being caught staring. He locked his phone but didn’t move to put it away yet, and Amy couldn’t yet bring herself to move her legs off his lap. So for a few moments they sat and looked at each other, and Amy’s heart lurched with longing.

She so desperately wanted to lean over and kiss him, to pull him closer and provide a warmth her jacket simply couldn’t. To hug him again without the feeling of needing to pull away, to laugh at bad movies and his worse jokes without the fear that it’s too much. She just wanted to be rid of the fear of rejection.

“You’re finished?” He asked just before the silence stretched on too long.

“Yeah, decided to take a break for tonight. Am I not allowed to do that?” She joked with a raised eyebrow.

Jake let out a small laugh in response.

“Of course you can, you’re a free woman” He held his hands up in a sign of surrender.

“Thanks, thought I was being interrogated for a moment there” She joked back, causing another laugh out of him – one which Amy joined in on.

“I know it’s not really dinner time but what would you say to a trip to Sal’s?” Jake asked once his giggles died down.

“Can’t say no to Sal’s, just gotta take my stuff back to my dorm first if that’s alright”

Finally, Amy moved her legs off of Jake’s lap and if she had been able to look at him when she did she might’ve noticed the disappointment flash across his face for a brief moment. She started gathering her books and laptop and packing them neatly into her bag.

“Yeah that’s fine, I’ll take my stuff back too” Jake responded while haphazardly shoving his books and notes into his backpack.

They both left the library and made their way back to their dorms, promising to meet back up in 20 minutes. Amy had 20 minutes to get changed and ready for what definitely wasn’t a date with Jake – they were just going to Sal’s, that’s not a date.

If it was a date he would’ve said it was a date, they’ve just continued to hang out after studying together. This is just what friends do, friends don’t ask each other on dates after studying together and then don’t clarify if it’s a date or not.

Amy was spiralling, hoping 20 minutes would come and go quickly so she could talk to Jake again and forget some of her anxieties about… Jake.

Did he just accidentally ask her on a date? How could he be such an idiot? But she didn’t ask if it was a date so it’s not a date, he doesn’t have to dress up super nice or anything because it’s just Sal’s. Why was he checking his outfit for the fifth time?

If it wasn’t a date, then why did he feel nervous? Too many questions and thoughts bouncing around in his head that it was quickly becoming overwhelming. Luckily for him, as he was considering changing his shirt for a third time his phone alarm went off telling him to leave his dorm.

He nearly ran to their meeting spot, not wanting Amy to be waiting on her own for even a few seconds and he ended up being successful. Two minutes after he got to the spot Amy joined him and they walked to Sal’s together.

This time Amy was rugged up in a large jacket and scarf, a handbag hanging off her shoulder instead of her backpack. She had let her hair out of the ponytail she’d had it up in earlier, now letting the loose brown curls fall to her shoulders.

She rambled on about a new topic she learned about in one of her classes that day and Jake decided he could listen to her speak forever, even if she was just reading the phone book. But especially when it was something she was passionate about, Amy let herself get lost in it all and Jake couldn’t help but to follow.

After the short walk they reached Sal’s, and it was only when they opened the door did Jake remember they had other friends he could’ve invited but pointedly didn’t. What his other friends didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them, surely they didn’t mind if he and Amy hung out alone – Rosa and Gina hung out alone often, so did he and Charles. It was fine.

The Night Boys

[4:45pm, Thursday]

Sidewinder: Hey! Did you wanna get dinner?

It was not fine.

Charles had text him as he and Amy were on their way through the diner to a booth at the back. He panicked for a few moments about what to do; be honest and say he was out with Amy or lie to his best friend about being on a not-date with Amy.

Jake knew exactly how Charles would react to hearing he and Amy were out together to dinner alone, and Jake absolutely did not want to be dealing with that today. Amy sat down and began reading through the menu that was already placed on the table, although Jake knew she would get the same thing she always gets.

The Night Boys

[4:47pm, Thursday]

Deathblade: cant tonight Deathblade: not feeling well

Sidewinder: No problem, feel better soon

Deathblade: thnx

Yes, he felt bad about it, but nothing was going to pull him away from spending time alone with Amy. He savoured any minute he could get and once he put his phone away and looked up at her from across the table most of his anxieties melted away.

“What are you gonna get?” She asked him, looking up from the menu in front of her.

“Probably my usual” He shrugged his shoulders, why change his order when his order was perfect. Simple, but perfect.

“Cool, I’m probably gonna get-“

“The basic breakfast special but with a hot chocolate instead of a milkshake”

He finished her sentence without looking up from the menu, only making eye contact when he’d finished speaking. Seeing that Amy had a mildly shocked expression on her face, mouth slightly open and eyebrows raised before she schooled her face to one of less surprise.

“That’s exactly what I’m gonna get..” She trailed off, still giving him a look he couldn’t quite read.

After being given 15 minutes to read over the menu, most of that time spent chatting about nothing in particular, a waiter came over to take their order. They ordered and were now just waiting for the food, making more idle conversation that would usually bore Jake but he was happy to make ‘chit-chat’ with Amy if it meant being around her.

“You know, its too early for dinner, I feel like a senior citizen” Jake joked, arms crossed on the table in front of him.

“It gives you an excuse for a midnight snack” Amy joked back, a small giggle escaping as she did.

“As if I need an excuse for a midnight snack” Jake waved his hand in a dismissive gesture, once again causing Amy to laugh.

As she laughs Jake thinks it’s the one thing he was put on this earth to do; sure he wants to be a detective but his life calling is making Amy Santiago smile.

Their food arrives and they take their time to eat, not worrying about studying or having anywhere to be. They sit and talk until the sun goes down, Jake tells Amy movies he’s been watching recently and Amy tells him all about the book she’s been reading in her spare time. Amy talks about her brothers when Jake asks about them and is filled with funny stories from her childhood, and Jake tells her about what he and Gina were like in high school.

They’ve ordered multiple drinks each and sat long enough for dinner to go down enough to order a dessert; more accurately, Jake ordered a huge dessert that he happily let Amy take bites from. The time has flown and Jake has never felt more content in his life, they’ve barely made physical contact since arriving at the diner but his skin feels as electrified as New Years Eve.

He never wants this feeling to go away.

Amy hadn’t even realised hours had gone by, but it was dark outside now and her and Jake were still in the diner talking. Making up new inside jokes and telling stories from their childhoods. There’s a warmth under Amy’s skin that she’s never felt before, a warmth not caused by a sweater or scarf but one that’s causing tingles from her toes to her fingertips.

She wants it to be like forever.

Unfortunately, it was dark, and she needed to get back to her dorm at some point. She knows her phone has been going off in her bag but has ignored it all evening in favour of talking to Jake, trying to make him laugh and smile to see the ways his eyes crinkle up when he does.

Amy is the one to burst the bubble they’ve put themselves into, worrying she’ll get lost in it and do something that makes Jake uncomfortable. When there’s a silence in the conversation she speaks up.

“I should probably get back to my dorm, it’s getting late” She tries to hide the disappointment in her voice.

“Yeah, me too”

When they go up to the register together to pay Jake covers the bill, he doesn’t give Amy a chance to argue until they’re out the door and walking back to campus.

“You didn’t have to pay” Amy says while wrapping her scarf around her neck snugly.

“I know I didn’t, but you’ve been helping me so much with studying that I owe you”

“You don’t owe me anything, Jake” She can feel her cheeks heating up even in the cold air.

“Just accept it Ames, nothing you can do now” He wraps an arm around her shoulders and squeezes before letting go again and it causes Amy to giggle.

She wants to feel embarrassed at how he makes her giggle, she’s far from being 15 years old giggling at anything her crush says.

“Okay okay, I cover next time though” She points a finger at him in warning.

“Of course” He responded in a tone and with a smirk that made Amy think he wasn’t going to keep his end of the bargain.

The walk is as easy as dinner was, and saying goodbye is difficult but she knows Jake will probably text her in under an hour about something on his mind anyway. She’s excited for it, she’s excited to see him again and a part of her hopes he’s excited to see her again too.

During her elevator ride she decides that she is going to ask him out, it’ll be a risk and she’s full of anxiety thinking of the worst outcomes but she can’t just sit around doing nothing. The doing nothing part of it all is killing her, now she has to know if this was all just in her head.

If he says no then Jake will be cool about it, she knows that, he’s good like that. He cares about other people like that, he won’t completely ignore her and make fun of her for it – well he might a little, but not in a bad way.

Amy is going to ask Jake on a honest-to-god date, with a reservation and high heels and a waiter that doesn’t smell of cigarettes. It’s all going to be fine.

He has decided that if he doesn’t get to kiss Amy soon he’ll explode.

More importantly, he’s decided if he doesn’t tell her how he feels about her soon then he’ll also explode. He’s sure that everyone can tell at this point, it’s hard hiding how much he really likes her. If their other friends have noticed they haven’t said anything – although Charles has been saying it since the day Jake and Amy met which back then was weird. Nowadays it makes Jake annoyed for a different reason, he can’t believe Charles was right.

As Jake moves around his dorm getting ready to relax for the rest of the evening he considers whether or not to ask her out. He thinks back to his conversation with Terry who said he’ll never know if he never asks.

Jake is just unsure he’d be able to handle it if she said no. Not completely sure his heart wouldn’t just fall out his butt onto the ground and he’ll never feel anything ever again. At that thought, he hears Gina’s voice saying he’s being dramatic which is saying something coming from her.

When his head hits the pillow that night he smiles to himself, decision having been made that he will ask her out when he next sees her. He’d even wear a tie for her.

authors note: i rambled on in the beginning notes so i'll keep it short here - thank you again for reading and commenting and leaving kudos, it honestly makes my day getting those emails. love you all and read the next chap now!! <3

#alice writes #jake peralta x amy santiago #jake peralta #amy santiago #gina linetti #rosa diaz #charles boyle #fluff #college!au #bisexual!jake peralta #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #multi chap #average weekly screentime

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progfessor-dyke · 1 year ago

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About Me (so far)

This is @theprogrockbstheorist's main account now. I will still be posting essays over there, this is more for shitposting, personal stuff, and other fandom stuff. Same stuff applies.

Basic intro stuff:

I go by Violet (she/her, she/they).

I'm 17, going on 18 in about 6 months.

I'm autistic, and a have a few mental illnesses that I don't really feel comfortable disclosing over the internet. Don't worry though-- if I talk about it at all, it will be tagged appropriately so those who are sensitive to those subjects can avoid it.

I'm a bassist/vocalist, I do both about 50/50. I also play a little guitar, keys, and drums. I love music, I love making music, I love writing about music, etc etc.

I don't do DNIs, but If you're going to be a bigoted asshole in any shape or form, I will block you :). Fortunately, I probably won't have to worry about that since progblr is pretty small lol. I'll probably be using organizational tags, which I'll update this with later when I figure out what they are. Now, on to Things I Blog About (on here):

Progressive rock (especially Rush and Yes, but I will shitpost about every single prog band out there)

Fanart??? I do a little drawing, but it's not my main ~thing~, and it's more of a hobby, but there are a few sketches that I'm kinda proud of. Nothing nsfw though!

Probably venting about dumb stuff, nothing too serious hopefully

Any random thoughts that come into my head (most likely prog related lol)

Gay stuff (I'm a lesbian, my intro thingy is a joke)

I'm also really into Monty Python rn, but idk if I'll blog about it lol

NO ESSAYS ON HERE (most likely)

And that's about it! If you like my essays and want to know what else goes on inside my brain, this is it!

#about me

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wooahaes · 2 years ago

Note

dino soulmate au !! i don't have a specific trope in mind, but im curious to see which one you think fits him best :D

hii <3 hmm... technically dino was where i left off on my soulmate series (which is currently paused until i finish either sweet night (more likely) or under the sun (unlikely lol), then i'll try to finish out those fics before i start a new series), so i'll avoid what i've got planned for him there

(death tw, will tag the post w this as well)

ill play around w a lil bit of angst. reader has lost the soulmate that they were dating ever since they met in high school bc (insert cause of death here). not even minutes after he's dead, the name lee chan writes itself across the back of their hand. out of resentment for the universe immediately pairing you up right after you lose the love of your life, you resolve to keep the stupid name covered as much as you can and never meet this lee chan the universe is replacing your soulmate with.

elsewhere, chan realizes that there's a name written up his forearm that he didn't have before. a certain percentage of ppl are born w/o soulmates, and chan always thought he was one of them until now. he probably excitedly shows it off to his friends (only abt half of which have soulmates imo bc i like having a mixed bag there), and they promise to let him know if they happen to run into someone w his own name on them.

enter jeonghan, currently going through practicum to become a licensed therapist. enter, you on a summer day without a bandage on the back of your hand and his friend's name contrasting your skin in neat lettering. also enter the fact that jeonghan can't say/do anything about giving out your information because of violations, so he's stuck trying to figure out how he can lead you or chan to one another.

ultimately, he figures out a way: you mumble one day a week or two later that your favorite coffee shop is closed for renovations because you'd always treat yourself with something sweet from there, jeonghan asks if he can make a suggestion, and he pushes you toward one of chan's favorite places before immediately getting both seungkwan and vernon on the task of getting chan there. you end up sitting in the corner to kinda just people watch and chill post-therapy session and wait on your drink. your name gets called out, and you notice the way another guy's head snaps up immediately. you retreat to your corner with your drink, only to hear the name lee chan read out soon enough and you aren't taking any chances. you get up to leave, and immediately the guy tails you out and asks for you to stop before rolling his jacket sleeve back to reveal where your name is boldly written along his arm.

you tell him you aren't interested. he's immediately heartbroken by that kind of talk, but asks for your number anyway because he'd at least like to be your friend if nothing else. you give it to him after making it clear you aren't looking for a new lover, and then leave.

and idk insert more stuff abt you and chan getting closer until you finally open up and mention tht ur in grief counseling bc of ur soulmate dying and that you'd always hated chan (as a concept--you like him now as a person) because it wasn't even five minutes before his name appeared on you. he apologizes, you tell him not to bc its not his fault, and the two of you agree to take ur friendship slow.

insert chan feeling guilty as he falls for you. insert u feeling guiltier because you fell harder after that and you try to push him away again. fic culminates in you admitting to him or to a friend that you're terrified of losing another soulmate. maybe its w a family member of deceased soulmate who reassures you that he would want you to be happy before asking if it had been you, wouldn't you want him to move on one day? it ends w you crying on them and apologizing because you feel like ur betraying ur first soulmate, but accepting that its okay to move on.

its just a lot of talk abt grief and whatnot lol with a side of chan helping you heal because he wants to be there for you, romantic feelings or not. you confess to him that you've fallen for him and ask to take things slow now and the fic ends off with the two of you going to get coffee together or something

#wooahaes.ask #wooahaes.askgame #sweetteawithpeach #death tw #sorry this one is longer lol im admittedly a sucker for a soulmate au

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i0-0na · 6 months ago

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Entry 10 - Animation Party

Date : 06.05.2024

This week Monday, Dom, Matthijs and I were invited to an animation welcome party. I was pretty tired though, and somewhat anxious to be honest, so I was kind of unsure about going. I couldn’t really explain why, at one point I even felt like I was going to be sick. However, I decided to go anyways because why not~

We put name tags on ourselves (I wrote my name both in Japanese and English, I’m good at hiragana and katakana alphabet but not Kanji ;-;). However, I felt my anxiety rise again as soon as we were put onto random tables, and I wasn’t with my friends. I find it easy to make friends and stuff but honestly the language barrier was what was making worry, but I did my best.

I was so confused I ended up asking one of the professors who understood English, and she was like “Yeah! Are you in a circle?” I just stared blankly back at her. I had no clue what she meant. So, I pointed at the table and I said “I guess we’re in a circle now???” They just laughed and the conversation moved on. Later I told Matthijs about this cryptic message and they told me ‘circle’ was like another term for club or in this context because we’re at university, society. I was like oooohhh, I get it now wow ToT. When food was brought out people started moving around so I went to Matthijs’ table, I wasn’t hungry, so I barely ate anything. Also, I still kinda felt ill. A bit later on that’s when I started feeling a bit better, as well I felt more comfortable to get out of my shell and began to start talking and making friends with people. Since we’re all animation majors one of the key points of our conversations was anime we liked and I put on my name tag. Even though I put Space Dandy on mine, I honestly dislike the idea of me having to pick my ‘favourite’ because I like so many works its hard to pick unless you give me a really specific category, but to be honest even then depending on the genre I sometimes would give you a top 3 answer instead lol. So yea that basically allowed me to talk more about different shows and video games like Nier:Automata, Persona 5, Attack on Titan and other such.

Then out of nowhere we were made to play a game of Jan Ken Pon (rock paper scissors). There was a whole cafeteria sized table which was just stocked with prizes to be won. On the second round of the game, I actually won lolololol!!! So, I made my way to the table and I decided to take a Denji prize figure, it isn’t like a raffle where you know depending on which tier/rank you get you are limited to the amount of prizes, we could just honestly pick whatever thing we wanted. I debated on getting this cushion with one of the sensei faces on, I think he was like the head of animation at Zokei, but I was like you know what I think someone else should get it probably because it would probably mean more to them in a way idk but it was pretty amusing none the less to see that as a prize. As soon as I got my Denji figure I nearly immediately start to rub it into the face of Dom hahahaha, as a joke of course, but none the less it was a great triumph.

My rock paper scissor skills are elite

I’m glad I ended up going, there’s no reason not to give social events ago. Especially on student exchange, even if I feel nervous, I think people should always try to push themselves a bit out their comfort zones.

(Y)ou (O)nly (L)ive (O)nce

Later that week we talked about Golden Week during our Japanese classes, as well as learning the usual useful language technique/grammar. I’m really sad that these classes will be ending so soon, I genuinely enjoy these classes as well as learning Japanese language ☹. It’s always been a goal of mine to become fluent and to live long term in Japan. It’s so crazy that now I am living in Japan but still I think I want to stay here for an even longer term.

After class we asked our teacher if he wanted to come drinking with us at an izakaya, originally, he was but then when we arrived something came up, so he had to go home. However, Silvia, Matthijs, Dom and I decided to still go. This izakaya is right by the uni/train station. At this place I tried hot sake, it was kind of weird to try “hot” alcohol and I mean it was hot, like a nice cup of tea kinda hot lol.

It was such a nice evening~

I’ve noticed by my window that the plant outside is a rose tree. The pink roses are blossoming, when I saw them, it reminded me of myself. Of how so far, how I’ve grown, and feel more stable living in a foreign country, as well as other aspects of my personal life. I feel at peace.

Other notes:

I’ve found these crisps which are mentioned in this one mobile game I reallyyyyy liked, it called Mystic Messenger. I bought some and tried it, they were awful ☹! Like with sauce or put into a sandwich they are somewhat okay but by themselves?? Sorry 707 I cannot fathom, fictional or not, why they would want to eat that like every day.

On a separate separate note, it seems that its Mother’s Day in Japan (12th). So, I had to wish my mum a second happy Mother’s Day lololol. Before leaving for Japan, I bought her a Collin/Collette the Caterpillar cake (spa day themed) for her and my brothers to share. From the sounds of it they all seemed to like it.

Till next time ✌️😉

Byyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

-Iona

Song Playing: To the end - Blur

youtube

#student exchange programs #student life #blog #youtube #diary #tokyo #japan #university #travel #Youtube

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atomic-lullaby · 2 years ago

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accidentally started really liking the au i made .. originally was gonna be a one time thing cause i liked the dragon concept but... man.. dumb shit warning ahead

ok first order of business is naming it so im gonna be tagging it #disguised!au

anyway basically dogman (or more like knight) is a werewolf and petey is a dragon, who prefers to use a cat form because like. idfk dragons are discriminated against in collardale fuck me ill figure something out later.. both of which are irrationally nervous about people, especially the other, finding out about their secret. theyre also both extremely suspicious about it but fortunately everyone else is too dumb to realize. (dogman takes full moon nights off work, petey disappears every weekened to go do.. idk stretch his wings) peteys managed to convince lil petey that theyre both regular cats, and dogmans managed to convince chief that hes come down with some illness, and it goes on like this for a while until one night they run into each other while in their more monstrous forms. neither is quite happy about this because theyre afraid of what the other will think, but it works out.

eventually chief finds out about dogman and is like . jesus fuck is that why you take the day off ONCE A MONTH.. i could give a shit about you being a 30 foot tall monster youre literally the only competent person here

#disguised!au #dogman #melvin musings #ramble

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orivu · 4 years ago

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conclusions

#i had a talk w myself just like the old times. idk it's always been therapeutic to talk to myself out loud as if im someone else #gave myself the reassurance i need. talked about things. mulled stuff over #ive decided that no amount of material things would make up for the fact that theyve been constantly cheating on me w/out remorse #nostalgic memories dont equate to who they are now. theyre viewed in a softer light n i shld stop making excuses bc the present is differen #i know deep inside that i did my best w what i could do and there are issues that are out of my control #i obvs wont suddenly heal after this n i wouldnt be surprised if i started crying again later but ill make a list of things to do #give myself diy selfcare rehab ane slowly try to function again w little things #how im treated doesnt equate to my value or capabilities or self-worth #ill treat myself v gently like how id treat a friend. the way ive always did when things get so tough #my head hurts but i can think a bit clearer now esp that i talkrd out loud #to them: i hope you work on improving yourself bc you're much better than this and you owe it to yourself #ill be working on myself too. i doubt youll come back but i hope that when we talk again we're better people #i dont think ill be posting vents like this anymore bc i mainly used it to think out loud but i can just get bsck to talkint to myself aha #it helped ground me though. thank u to everyone who comforted me #this is v embarrassing hdkdks #but ive figured some things out. i hope u all remember to love urself <3 #vent tag

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insertdisc5 · 3 years ago

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Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

#ask tag #deltarune #deltarune spoilers #snowgrave spoilers

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