#idk what defines a big blog and not sure I need to know because its subjective anyway

[tethered-heartstrings]

First impression: Scary, Big Blog™️, way better than me, Hannibal blogger that is higher than god, how is the meta so cool

Impression now: Makes me cry, has awesome ideas, feel comfortable saying actual words in tags without fear of being blocked, still makes me (and other people cry) with metas, funny textposts, very kind. Music taste 100%

- @jaggedlittleteacup

I'm a little speechless at your first impression because I really am just Some Guy. I am not that scary, you can ask any of the mutuals I talk to.

Also, YOU made me emotional with that fabulous Pan's Labyrinth x Mizumono edit holy SHIT. (Here btw in case anyone hasn't seen it. It's beautiful and heart wrenching and everything I imagined).

I am glad you enjoy my meta because I do actually really enjoy writing them and mixing up the silliness of memes with more serious analysis/thought. I agree, my music taste is pretty clutch.

Thank you though, this was a very nice ask!

Send me your first impression of me vs your impression of me now (anonymous or not)

[yamagucji]

some tips for writing blogs, especially those who are just starting out. these are some things that works for me and may or may not work for others.

how to add a read more link on mobile

type :readmore: on a free space, then hit the enter or return button

personally i think they’re very helpful because it lessens the space you take up in your dash, and might encourage more people to rb

+ you can also add this on a spot where it gives a sort of cliffhanger, essentially making people want to ‘read more’

headers, banners, and dividers

though not necessary, it’s good to have a title for your work. make sure it’s bold and doesn’t blend in with your notes (aka pairing, warnings, etc.). this also helps when someone wants to look up one of your works in your search bar

i don’t really make banners or covers for my works. but some good apps that i know of would be picsart and canva. if you’re looking for ideas, i definitely recommend going into canva

wondering how to make those really small, thin dividers? you can make them using picsart! to make a divider hit tools > free crop > brush > size (adjust it to your preference > then draw a line along the edge of your photo > save

using the divider you just saved, go back to picsart and edit it again > draw option > hit rainbow square at the bottom left corner > hit suction/droplet symbol right below the check mark > color in the white spots bc for some reason picsart glitches and makes dividers look white-ish

new blog? just opened an account?

this is gonna sound really frustrating. but... tumblr needs to check if you’re a bot or not. what does this mean? it’s likely that your first few posts won’t show up on the search bar. you may not even get to edit your header/pfp yet ://

this happened to me and there was no visibility on my account at ALL. what helped me get ‘verified’ is that i followed a LOT of accounts, liked a bunch of posts, made some posts here and there. now that lets tumblr know you’re not a bot

visibility

the tumblr tagging system usually only allows the first 5 tags in your post to show up. so, what can do you about this? only use FIVE or less tags in your post. wait about 15 minutes or more until you can add some more tags in your post, and they usually all show up like that

another important thing about using tags is not to generalize! especially if you’re using a popular tag. but also don’t specify it too much where barely anyone looks it up. for example, if you’re writing a gn piece about oikawa, i recommend you use the tags such as: oikawa x reader, haikyuu x reader, oikawa x gn!reader, haikyuu headcanons, etc

a good rule of thumb is to use character x reader tags first, then leave the full name or fandom tag last

FOR NSFW: tumblr doesn’t let any tags with nsfw show up. so, give your nsfw works another tag. maybe #namegetspicy idk, you figure it out

FOR WARNINGS: especially if you’re a dark content creator, i highly encourage you to add tw:xyz tags. if you already have a warning note at the top then that’s great. but even better for readers who prefer to actually block these tags that way they never get to see it

another important thing to note is that people have different timezones. it helps if you rb your work at a different time of the day, in case people missed it! (icymi) i’ve noticed that reblogging helps to make your post show up in the tags

interaction + feedback

first and foremost, you are not obligated to write for your followers, and neither are your followers obligated to interact with you. remember that everyone has their own individual lives, and they have their own things to do— so do you, too.

make friends! become mutuals with other writers, visit their ask box. i know it can be daunting having to initiate these things, but you might just turn out to have fun! you can’t expect people to interact with you if you’re not interacting (back). it’s... kind of a two way thing yk? no need to be afraid to interact with other writers. oh, and rb other writers works!

pspsps join tag games or do ask games. it’s fun and very interactive

it never hurts to ask for feedback. i usually do this in a more subtle way because i don’t really expect a full on analysis on my works. maybe a little, is this okay? or feedback appreciated. sometimes it takes a little bit of coaxing for the silent readers

formatting your posts and blog

i generally put in the title at the top in big, bold letters

then comes the header/divider. helps to make the post more... visually appealing ig?

it’s important to add warnings (if any) and the pairing. the audience is not all female, and it might be a little frustrating for male readers having to find out its an x fem reader piece like halfway through your fic

if you have multiple works posted, it’s really really helpful to have a navigation page!

you can organize the posts you make with tags! for example, if you’re shitposting, you can use a specific tag for that. if you have a nsfw related post (ESPECIALLY when your blog is open to the general audience) please make a tag for it

themes + colors

if you have a color in mind but don’t know which direction to go from there, i recommend looking up color + aesthetic

looking to use the same color? download a name color app that’ll give you a hex code for any color you want to use. then, you can type in that hex code for when you’re choosing a color for your tumblr bio

wondering how to make your header image small like mine? just choose a photo for your header and turn off the stretch image option

want to use a different text color that tumblr doesn’t offer? it’s not as complicated as you think. you’ll have to go on a desktop to do this and do some html (but trust me, it’s not very difficult). look up “HTML noob but trying my best - how to use colored text on desktop”

^^ i don’t have the link for the color text tutorial so you can try looking it up

how to make an aesthetic navi and masterlist

step 1: decide a theme! if you’re stuck, think about a character + color/season/mood or look up “[insert] aesthetic” to find some inspiration. or you can try looking at other blogs too

step 2: find a color scheme! it’s easier if you choose fewer colors. if you want to use the same color for both divider and text, download a color name app in order to get the hex code of that color.

step 3: add categories to your navi! most navigation pages include a link to masterlist, about/byi, and rules. your navi should have a title that indicates that it’s... a navigation page. you can add thin colored dividers with the same color to make it easier for followers to navigate

step 4: you can choose to create a ‘cover’ or a picture for your navigation and masterlist! again, i recommend you use the canva app as a starting point

extra: search up emoticon symbols to spice up your titles!

reminder for you as a writer

you’re not obligated to do any of these things. i’ve noticed that we tend to build pressure on ourselves when it comes to content and interaction. remember, this !! is !! for !! fun !! when you realize that it’s no longer fun, then know that it’s time to take a break. and there’s nothing wrong with a bit of self care.

^^ c/p from this post lol

at the end of the day, follower count and interaction doesn’t define you. again for the love of beings, you’re here on your own accord.

will be adding more if needed/asked.

[nightswithkookmin]

chile i'm so glad i came across your blog, the amount of "i'm not going to assume they're dating" or "we can only draw certain conclusions but i can't say for sure" "we don't know their sexuality, BUT" type blogs i follow is getting kinda wack lmao. while i appreciate their perspective and nuanced takes i need to strike a balance. like let's get a lil delulu every once in a while. 💀

lol the im-not-a-shipper-but-call-jikook-boyfriends-every-other-post blogs are the funniest to me. the shipping hierarchy, so to speak is so weird. maybe just because im not a "shipping real people is bad" person i don't see the big deal. gonna get called delulu anyway, might as well go full out. they is gay/queer and they're fucking. i'm so sorry.

*also can we touch on the fact that shipping in this type of fandom (kpop) is kind of inevitable and unavoidable??! these boys are the other people we see them with day in and day out, interacting with each other and no one else. i feel like it's natural to ship when there's no other people around to break up everything, idk maybe someone can articulate this better than me. and people who are made to feel stupid for thinking that 2 members could actually be dating is so dumb. like is it really out of the realm of possibility that two people (jikook, cause all them other ships are....😬) who spent almost every waking minute together for like 8 years could fall in love. really?

/rant

It's the delulu hat for me

Lmho.

I guess for me being queer, I feel it's gaslighting for these people to be saying things like that. As silly as it is, it inadvertently deny and invalidate the existence and queerness of gay individuals and so I struggle with it.

This is the consequences of straight people in gay people business. They like defining gay parameters for us and it's like who asked you?? I feel people who say things like that are just plain ignorant or tone deaf or willfully homophobic.

I don't think everyone in BTS is gay but it makes me feel safe to see half the community assume them to be and celebrate them in that way. They are not cussing at them and threatening to leave the fandom or cancel them for this assumption and that is huge inspiration to me.

Those parts of the fandom are a safe space to be in as a queer army.

When people assume a person's queer sexuality they are simply admitting to themselves at the very least that LGBTQ EXISTS. This is important to me because I grew up in a community where LGBTQ didn't even exist in the collective consciousness of the people and EVERYONE IS AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED TO BE STRAIGHT AND EXPECTED TO BE.

People read people's sexuality all the time and have done so since time immemorial and a lot of the time when they have had a sexuality read it's in the lines of straight, cis, rich, poor, superior or inferior. And that is a problem for some of us too because that discrepancy in the assumptions is as a result of homophobia and heteronormativity.

That whole don't assume a person's queer sexuality debacle sounds to me like a boujee way of denormalizing and preventing the normalization of queerness disguised under care, disguised under intelligence and disguised under wokeness. Especially when straightness is the default setting in this giant blue bulb.

We need to radicalize that. We need to change the cis straight default setting and if you are perpetuating this narrative you really aren't helping the situation. SIT DOWN.

I'm rarely assumed to be queer in certain circles and while that makes me feel comfortable within those circles it often times make it hard for me to admit my queerness openly in those circles too because I fear I will lose that comfort and respect and love and privileges that comes with being percieved straight in those spaces.

When I started my blog, I noticed some people assumed I was white and would use certain black descriptors as slurs when describing other people to me. I quickly had to switch the formal way in which I wrote to a much casual tone so my blackness would show through. Don't get it twisted. She black. She blackidy black black.

Then on the other hand, I was hesitant to let my queerness be known too because being black, I was marginalized as it is- you is black, or sound black💀 you know how it is- it's that intersectionality of oppression at play. Double double homicide.

When certain people realized I was black POC minority, their attitude towards me changed. I had those who didn't so much understand what black language is or perhaps wasn't used to being in black spaces and were uncomfortable with my blackness- these would take offense at me saying certain things in certain ways. Like chilee relax Karen, all I said was these motherfukkers gay as shit and they gay. Why you acting like I called them twinks or sommin. Right there, I'm cancelled for calling Jikook motherfuckers. They get sirens and everything😭😭😭😭😭😭

Same vein, I struggle destraightening myself or correcting people who assume I'm straight because I fear they will treat me differently if they knew I wasn't.

Straight privilege exists in the same way as white or even pretty privilege may exist and because these exist there's that automatic conception of queer, poc, ugly, fat disemfranschismet to run along side it.

People treat you differently based on how they perceive you. That's a fact. And for queer people, perceiving us as straight is the only way we get to be treated as human by the masses. And a lot of us embrace that- straight until proven gay am I right 🤣🤣🤣🤣

It's the duper's delight for me. Untill you catch me with a 5'8 melanin skinned silk pressed auntie on my left nipple good luck proving I'm gay.

It can be fun, I akekeke when some people around me are totally oblivious to the fact and even sometimes defend my straightness with their dying breath when nasty friends throw them shades or try to out me unprovoked.

A lot of us don't want to admit we are gay because we don't want to be disenfranchised.

I speak for myself when I say this.

But 'Don't assume someone's sexuality' is a double edged censorship used for and against queer people. It seemly offers protection on the surface of it for queer people but underneath it promotes heteronormativity and standardizes straightness and it is also used to promote closet culture, under the disguise of care and concern for the autonomy of queer people but that is a fallacy because our autonomy has never mattered to anyone since the dawn of homophobia.

And I don't know where this interpretation comes from. Why do people not want to assume queer people's sexuality but it's ok to assume straight people's???

It feels like a hijacked movement to me.

THIS IS THE ACCURATE MOVEMENT AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.

Don't assume all people are straight. It's ok to assume some people are queer because queer people exists too.

It is wrong however to assume queerness based on how a person talks, walks, dresses or even on their body type. That is stereotyping. And stereotyping is wrong.

When it comes to Jikook, Jimin is often stereotyped as gay more so than Jungkook because they have different body structures. Jungkook is stereotyped too solely because of the way his wrists hang, or based on moments he's femininity shines through.

But I don't think shippers stereotype Jikook in that way at all. I dont think shippers believe Jikook are dating eachother simply because Jungkook applied setting powder to his face that one time. They assume they are gay only because they believe those two to be dating eachother. That is not stereotyping. If those two were heterosexuals I don't think people will accuse their shippers of stereotyping.

It's one thing to assume Kai is gay because he looks skinny and dances well. It's another to assume he is gay because in a relationship with Gdragon. And if people can't tell the difference between the two, they should get some education and stop talking about things they know nothing about or only know because they stumbled across user69 on Twitter. They are not helping.

Untill people get offended when people assume others are straight, that rhetoric doesn't matter in its inequality. If you ask me, everyone is gay until proven straight.

Yet how many people will take offense at that?

Assuming people can be gay is not delulu.

It's ok to assume people can be gay. It's wrong to stereotype them as gay. If you can't assume they are gay, don't assume they are straight and don't assume at all. Run with this sis.

Wait, they don't ship Jikook but they call Jikook boyfriends???????👀👀👀👀👀

The fake woke syndrome will kill people in this fandom with these mentally confused thought crisis bunch💀💀💀💀

Jikook themselves are shippers💀

Smh

GOLDY

[florencemachina]

So I work for a 💫company💫

And let's say this company have a lot of green in their theme, and a big capital letter for their logo, and is ONLY found in the South right

Well, boy howdy have I got a story for YOU. One of my coworkers found me working back in the kitchen of deli and told me that customer service hates me apparently. So naturally im curious, im like why does customer service hate me? And hes like well idk if its all of customer service but ik at least 1 person who hates ur fucking guts and im like 😮 wtf!!! So hes like do u wanna know who it is? Yeah? No? Yeah? And im like YES I WANNA KNOW FUCKIN TELL ME!!! Hes like its *this person who is a cis woman and a lesbian*

Ive NEVER had a problem with this chick either. Like shes standoffish but i assumed thats just like her personality, right? But i guess fuckin not! So naturally i tell him ive never had any problems with her before and hes explains she said:

"Well that little girl over in deli keeps making everyone call her a boy and she walks around all high and mighty wearing girls clothes" and im like FUCKING PARDON??? and he told her, like "hey some people arent fully transitioned but we still need to respect their pronouns, even if we dont agree with them. And ofcourse im like did u report her? To which hes like Well no, do you want me to? And im like YES?????

So since it's pride month, let's talk about transphobia, yeah? I've got it pinned on my other blog, and I'm not sure if it's pinned here, but terfs and transphobes among other people are not welcome. And this right here? Is terf shit. You never know what someone is going through or how they live their life. I've had a handful of conversations with this girl, and not once have I corrected my pronouns to her cus for me it's like why bother? We work in different departments. Why does she HAVE to know? Now, this isnt the case for every trans person, but for me personally it's a hassle to force everyone to use my correct pronouns.

HOWEVER

When you create a safe space for transphobes, you create an unsafe space for transgender folks. I explained to my coworker that he NEEDS to report that to management because *that woman* will continue to spread slander and hate until my workspace is unsafe to attend. This reaches much farther than my feelings. Imagine if someone who's still in the closet had heard that? Now they feel unsafe at work. Or if I was just starting testosterone and was feeling very unconfident? Terf shit is this kind of transmedical righteousness that floats around lgbtq+ spaces. Your gender is your own to define. And if someone lets you know their pronouns, just fucking respect them. It's basic shit. What if I invalidated her experience as a lesbian by saying "you just havent found the right man"? My choice to wear effeminate clothing during my off hours may not even be something I can help. I have to take binder breaks, unfortunately revealing my breasts under my shirts.

Also, hot take, maybe clothes aren't fucking gendered. Another hot take, maybe im too poor to afford masculine style clothes. Or? I could just not like the way they fit/look on me. It could be any number of reasons, but regardless? The way I present myself is no proper indication of my gender. Get that terfshit outta here.

[parachutingkitten]

Season 5 Analysis

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I am going to be applying the concept of criticism to a TV show you presumably love and adore as much as I do. If you do not want your idea that the show is immaculate to be challenged, I would not advise reading past this point.

Additional Disclaimer: This includes criticism of Nya’s arc, so if you’re the type of person to get catty about this subject, turn back now.

Mood for this season: It’s spoopy time.

You don’t need to, but if you are interested, and haven’t seen my analysis of past seasons, you can find those here:

Pilot - Season 1 - Season 2 - Season 3 - Season 4

You can also find all of these, and future installments, on my blog using the tag #analysis 

Hey everyone! I’m still doing these things! Let’s see, when was my last one? Over two years ago...? Yikes, I owe y’all an apology. I really didn’t mean to put these off that long. Anyway, get ready to hate me, cuz although (for the most part) this seems to be the fandom favorite season… I think it’s overhyped. I know, don’t kill me. I’ll explain myself. I don’t think it’s bad or anything, it’s very well structured, but I definitely wouldn’t rank it among my favorites. First, for a little context, I am making a one second of every ninjago episode video right now, so I’ve been binging the series and all it’s shorts back to back, so I think I’ll have a bit more to say about connective tissue between seasons, and hopefully you guys can look forward to more of these analyses between now and the new year when I’m releasing that video. I’m also officially a film major now so… sorry if I come of as extra pretentious or get too deep. Anyway, let’s jump into the thick of it, shall we? 

Plot

This is probably the area I have the fewest number of complaints about. This season has a breakneck pace and it keeps everyone busy. I think that’s why people like it. Everyone’s favorite has something to do. Which brings me to the question… which ninja’s season is this? Lloyd is on a lot of the promotional stuff, but he’s possessed and out of the picture for over half the season, so that can’t be right. Cole turns into a ghost, and the season is a ghost season, but that can’t be right cuz I don’t know that I’ve ever heard anyone claim it was his. Nya reaches her true potential, maybe it’s hers? Well, she does have a large b-plot, but she is consistently not a part of the a-plot. Kai has a whole thing with being protective of Lloyd, he has his fear of water, maybe it’s just another Kai season? Thing is, it’s no one’s. It is an ensemble season, and I think that’s a healthy thing for ninjago to keep doing. The more we label certain seasons for certain ninja, the more complaining we’ll get about who’s turn it is for screen time that we’ll miss out on telling a good story. Also, If the season is focused on a ninja you don’t like, you are less likely to like the season (see my next analysis for that can of worms). Again, this season tells it’s story really well. Morro directly ties into the ending of last season, and Nya’s getting water powers was foreshadowed the season before. That’s some cool connective tissue to start. The opening episode establishes the three different things the ninja will be looking for, and for once they’re actual tools instead of a series of weapons, blades, masks, whatever. I like that. Jay has some really good humor, Zane has his speech changes, Kai has his irrational fears and protective instincts, Cole has his ghost angst, Lloyd has to deal with his father’s passing, Nya is a new water ninja, Wu has a shop to run and a student to reconnect with, even Ronin has an arc about developing morals and gaining friends. There’s the mystery about how to deal with the ghosts, what the rules are, there’s the leader subplot, the ninja’s money situation, and lore of the different realms, they even worked in Skylor and Borg, there’s a lot of cool stuff going on. This is a tightly woven script that manages to include a lot of new concepts that you get pretty quick. I don’t feel like there’s even that much fat to cut. The opening is a little slow and strange, and the cloud kingdom episode feels a little unnecessary, but I do like the idea of visiting a different realm early in the season so the audience isn’t caught off guard in the climax. Again, the plot all works for me, it’s the other stuff I find myself pretty meh on.

Characters

Ronin

I’m pretty sure Ronin is the only new (non villain) character introduced. I like him a lot. Ninjago needed a true wildcard to shake things up and be unpredictable. I also think he’s pretty nicely woven into the action of the plot. I think his introduction is a bit strange. Like, the ninja already know him, but we’ve never seen him before? Just the way they talk about him sounds like they’re quickly recapping who this guy is for those who missed previous episodes. It’s fine if the ninja already know him but either 1) Introduce or foreshadow him a season earlier or 2) Introduce their dynamic to the audience before it becomes plot relevant. Maybe the ninja are grumbling about him being a nuisance while tea shenanigans are going on or something. Or maybe you have a scene of him stealing the scroll and making snarky remarks about the ninja while he does it. Idk. just something so his sudden plot relevance isn’t out of nowhere. Also, I don’t hate his and Nya’s dynamic, but I know a lot of people love it, and I’m just not totally here for it. Is he supposed to be a father figure for her? Mentor? Frienemy? Just plain friend? (love interest???) it’s not super clear and I could have used some clarification. I also like his use and tie to the next season, so overall, well integrated character.

Nya

I’m adding in Nya here cuz she goes through a major character change, and how she’s handled is one of the things that rubs me the wrong way about the season. A lot of people will probably disagree and/or hate me for this section of the analysis so… here we go! The thing she has to get past to reach her true potential is fear of failure (supposedly) and the solution to that is to just… not care as much? First of all, I know this isn’t supper important, but the fun thing about the ninjago elements is that every elemental master matched up personality wise with their element. Jay is the energetic master of lightning, Kai is the hothead master of fire, Zane is the calm and calculating master of ice, Cole is the strong and dependable master of earth, Lloyd is the literal child master of energy. This especially goes for all the new season 4 masters. So what qualities are often associated with water personalities? Well, serenity, control, flexibility, elegance, patience… calm. You know, like a Zane type character (the element directly adjacent to hers). These are things that Nya isn’t - or at the very least don’t define her. (there’s also something to be said about water and its ties to more feminine qualities, which Nya has been actively shown to reject, but I won’t go into that rant here.) She was designed as the fire master’s sister, and when you try to fit a fire personality into a water shaped character mold… it doesn’t exactly mesh well. It doesn’t make sense. But, like I said, whatever. Maybe that’s the point? Like she has to change her personality to be more in tune with water? Sure. But let’s talk about this fear of failure thing. Because that’s the stated thing that dialogue tells us she needs to overcome. But when has Nya ever been afraid of failure? Fear of failure means avoiding doing something because of fear. Nya is ridiculously persistent, always has been (you know, fire personality). She tries training when no one tells her to, she makes her own alter ego to try and be a hero and save the people who would constantly tell her she wasn’t ready. Wu says she only wants things that come easy, but that’s never been her character before now, she has carried the team with her tech, research, and covert ops that no one forced her to do, all things which are not easy. Fear of failure is usually characterized by what if questions. If Nya is so afraid of failure, why don’t we hear her saying stuff like “but what if I’m not strong enough, what if I can’t save them in time, or worse, what if I lose control of my power and end up hurting people?” Cole shows much more of a fear of failure this season surrounding his insecurity about being a ghost. He wants to sit out from missions because he’s not sure he’ll be able to do it - he’s afraid of failure. But whatever, the writing isn’t clear at expressing her true setbacks, but she does display a real problem that a lot of people have and I think could have been well done if set up correctly. She shows an undying persistence that gets her too close, and makes her increasingly incapable. She lets her frustration hinder her progress (again, fire personality trait), and I think that’s interesting because I don’t think ninjago has done this character arc yet. The supposed solution to this problem is that she just needs to… care less? And yes, I kind of see where they were going with this, we sometimes cloud our natural potential by thinking about it too much, but saying “you need to stop caring” is the absolute wrong way to word it. Caring is not her problem, the problem is her control over the emotions that come from her caring. Caring is a good thing, and teaching kids that if you’re ambivalent about your problems, they’ll go away is not a good message. What she needs to do is take a step back. She needs to take a break, stop to think, and look at the big picture instead of hyper focusing on the roadblock directly in front of her. The usual and much better wording of the moral I think they were going for is “stop overthinking things”. Teaching kids to look at a problem from a different angle and give themselves time to cool down is a great thing. And just think of it, in the climax she could have this ah-ha moment where she steps back and looks at the bigger picture - the whole town, surrounded by the ocean - and gets the idea to sink the preeminent into the water, you could even easily tie that back into the bucket exercise, and that’s what triggers her true potential rather than the current… I’m honestly not sure what. Random flashbacks and the end of the season approaching quickly. Alternatively, you could tie it more directly into samurai x, and make her struggle with letting go of the past and allowing yourself to give up something good in your life to progress to something better. Anyway, I don’t think this was a bad decision long term, she needed to be solidified on the team as a full fledged ninja, I just think this season doesn’t handle the transition that well. Anyway, whatever, I’ll be waiting for your hate comments in the notes.

Romance

Um… there’s none this season? Like there’s a few Wusako moments that are still as weird as they were in season 2, but they’re really not prevalent. There’s also the Jay seeing the future thing which has some weird implications next season (again, some interesting connective tissue between seasons), but that’s about it. Maybe that’s part of why I don’t love this season? Like where’s the pixane? Lol, I’m kidding. But maybe that’s why a lot of people do like it. If you don’t like the canon ships… this is a nice little safe haven for you. Rare for a majority of the series.

Villains

So Morro is a good idea… in theory. I know he’s the fandom’s favorite edgy boy, but idk I think the brand of angsty teen they ended up with was more of an angsty 13 year old than 17 year old. His voice is really grating and I always want to yell at him to just… go get some cough drops. Stop throat screaming, use your diaphragm man! Also, everyone goes on about his last minute redemption, but as far as season 5 goes, he has like half a second of a change of heart. Literally, when Wu comes over and he’s drowning, he’s still being a persistent little idiot like “you never cared about me nooooo!” and it’s only at the last possible second that gives him the crystal, and even that he does it kind of saltily. The preeminent is pretty cool, I like her concept, her design, all that. All the other ghosts are fine I guess. Nothing super memorable out of them, although their aesthetic, especially when there’s a bunch of them swarming around is pretty cool. One last thing was I never understood how Morro “becoming the green ninja” worked and what exactly it was that… did for him? Like he didn’t actually get the power of energy, right? I don’t remember him using it. Did just him defeating Lloyd make him the green ninja? How does that transfer work? And why did he need it to take over the world or realms or whatever? Like I get that it’s supposed to give him more power and what not but idk, it wasn’t super clear. That’s a minor thing though.

Climax

Pretty cool. I like the ATMOSPHERE. Green light is a hard thing to use and justify correctly, but it works really well here, especially with the dark kinda gray blue sky complimenting it. When the preeminent starts walking into the ocean, it’s genuinely terrifying, but you understand exactly how it works and why she’s strong enough to do it. Nya’s true potential is again a little out of left field and could have had some better motivation put behind it. Like what is it Nya learned in that instant? To not be afraid to protect people? She’s… been doing that. Idk. I’ve hit on that enough for now. Overall, there was good variety. I like the green ninja fake out, I like the realm hopping, I even like the little Garmadon visit and Lloyd getting the robe. I feel like we didn’t need a part one and two, you could have had different titles. I mean come on. But hey, now we know, if Pix had only been there, the whole climax would have been wrapped up in like 10 minutes apparently. Pix for the win.

Humor

Really good. Like I’m surprised how much I laughed. Jay wasn’t annoying humor, it was good stuff, there were some good running gags, there’s a solid fourth wall joke about who the lead ninja is at the beginning of the season. Overall, I am pretty impressed. My favorite joke was perhaps the bit where Jay is sarcastically positive, the voice acting is just really solid. Then again, there’s also the whole Borg scene where he roasts half the ninja, that’s solid stuff right there. There’s just some really solid character interaction this season and the humor feels a lot more natural and less forced.

Drama

Okay, we’ve got a lot this season. Y’all know how I feel about Nya’s arc by now. It does not work for me. Ronin’s relationship with her is alright, but kind of comes out of nowhere. Ronin’s solo plot about kinda working for the ghosts works. Cole’s ghost angst works for the most part, although I wish he would have actually skipped a mission and then gone in to help save his friends once they can’t do it without him. That was probably the most solid drama of the season. The other main thing we have this season is Kai’s whole… fear/protective streak. This also doesn’t really work for me. Like, I get that Lloyd and Kai are friends and stuff, like his whole true potential was centered around Lloyd. But like, why does it have to be framed so weirdly? Sometimes in trying to make it seem like Kai is protective of him, it seems like the other ninja just like… don’t care about him? Not all the time, but there are some weird vibes. Also, it doesn’t really go anywhere. No one learns anything about themselves from this subplot, nothing comes of it, there isn’t really a payoff. Also, Kai has yet another irrational fear, this time of water, which really comes right the hell out of nowhere. They try to explain it away like “Oh, Kai feels powerless and so water can get to him” but like… what? That’s the exact situation he was in at the end of season 2 and he seemed perfectly content to literally swim across the ocean (which um… what do you mean the sworn protector of ninjago can’t swim?). Where is this coming from?! Again, it doesn’t really go anywhere, there’s not a point where he has to learn to confront it or he grows because of it. It’s just pointless stuff added cuz the writers like giving Kai vague trails to try and develop him. The cloud kingdom is kinda cool. That last minute twist about them working with Morro is… stupid and unnecessary though. 

Spotlight Episode

I really like the Spinjitzu master tomb episode. Some cool riddles, I like the first two rooms a lot. I do think the third room is a bit strange. Like, the clue was “don’t look ahead” and the solution was to look beneath them, which is the exact same solution as the previous room. Like, you already have magic ice that shows the future, why not play into that? Don’t look ahead could maybe mean don’t look to the future, the opposite of that being the past. Maybe they have to draw on their past adventures to solve it somehow? Learning from the past is a good lesson, right? But overall, I really like it. Some real solid humor this episode. This episode has the sarcastic Jay optimism, Kai totally stalling for time, Zane dealing a pretty sick burn on Cole, just a lot of fun stuff. I like it. It just has great energy and nothing feels like it’s drawn out for too long.

Misc

The aesthetic this season… can be inconsistent, but the main ghost vibe displayed in the opening theme is really solid and I really like it

Speaking of the opening, Ghost wip is great and the opening in on par with last season’s (which is my fav) for sure

Ice age references… okay.

Chima references…. OKAY...

Okay, but like Deepstone can… kill ghosts? Or not? Is it just something ghosts can touch? It’s supposed to be like water in weapon form, right? Like that’s how I understood it when they first introduced it. Wouldn’t the deepstone bars kill Ghoultar then? And then like, Cole’s bike is made of deepstone. He uses it as a weapon. Wouldn’t it kill him? It kills other ghosts when they touch it. How… how does it work?! I need answers!!!

The captain of the steam boat says they’re going as fast as possible, but later Ronin comes in and cranks it up like twice as fast… that always bothered me like, why would he lie about that? Who is this captain and why is he so chill about everyone’s lives?! And then later Wu cranks it up yet again, like the ship had slowed down to it’s previous speed. What the hell is happening with the controls of this ship???

So pissed that the nasty CGI nightmare cloud monster that chases the ninja is named Nimbus. Totally forgot about that. I have an OC with a cat named Nimbus… I promise, there is not going to be a stupid twist bout the cat being the monster thing in Mists of Fate. That would be very stupid.

I was all excited that season 13 gave us minecart chases, but I totally forgot season 5 gave us one first. I really like the return to the caves of despair btw, good reuse of a known location.

How many times this season did we do the: 

Kai: Oh, I don’t like water, I can’t do it uwu  Cole: ...You serious?

Thanks for reading! And if you got this far… I don’t know. I would love to hear your thoughts if you have any! These are just my opinions, so don’t think too much of it if you disagree.

-Kitten

[stetervault]

Hello! Do you do rec lists? Would you be willing rec some Steter fics that aren't the most common/popular ones? If not, no worries!

Technically this isn’t a rec-finding blog lol but I do make rec lists sometimes if someone asks and I have the time and I feel like it. Here are some (I think?) less known Steter fics, oldies that people may have missed or forgotten (Idk how well I succeeded, I just picked a bunch that have significantly less reads/bookmarks than the really big fics):

Fear (Doesn't Mean I Can't Fight) by azerblazer

Peter is the damsel in distress, the Sheriff is the hostage, random unnamed hunters are the bad guys.

Stiles has a bat, a hoodie and a willingness to do anything to protect those he's loyal to.

Bring it on.

A Lean and Hungry Look by kototyph

The woods aren't the only place you find wolves.

You're Mine, Valentine by orphan_account

In which Peter decides to court Stiles, and does so by leaving him hearts.

Bloody ones.

Zodiac by Green

"You know, Taurus and Libra make a good match," Peter says with a sly smile.

Stiles looks away. "Yeah. I looked that up, too."

Surviving Peter and the Zombie Apocalypse by Nopennamesleft

Its the end of the world and Stiles has run out of luck. He saves a werewolf from certain death. Will they begin to rely on each other to survive or will the wolf just eat Stiles for a midnight snack?

He Is A Villain By The Devil's Law by neglectedtuesday

Stiles’ lungs are burning, blood is pumping through his veins and he’s pretty sure that if he stops running then he’ll just keel over into the gutter. But God does he feel alive. The sirens are wailing, loud and clear. Just one more block. One more block. Stiles ducks down an alleyway, the bag full of bank notes swinging behind him. It hits his side with a dull thud. The alley smells like cat pee and yesterdays trash so Stiles breathes shallowly through his mouth. He continues walking down it until he reaches the end. It opens out onto the street. He stops just shy of the exit, waiting. He waits a bit more. Then he kicks a can lying idle on the ground. He whips out his burner phone, punching in a number.

“Where the fuck are you?” Stiles growls, “Where’s my goddamn getaway car?”

“Change of plans Stilinski, you’re gonna have to get away on your own. Also ditch the phone.”

Fascinated by lemonstiles, migratoryslashfan

Stiles pontificates over Peter's naked body.

Night-blooming Flowers by imriebelow

Peter always gets what he wants. Stiles learns to live with it.

None of These Things (Are Happening) by Horribibble

After years away, Stiles returns to Beacon Hills just in time to put Isaac's insides back where they belong.

It's cute how people think he's trustworthy.

-

Peter can smell the violence inside him, the urge to do something grand and possibly cataclysmic. It’s there—mixed with a balance and natural calm, but in the undercurrent, it’s there. He has seen things beyond the scope of Beacon Hills’ petty horror show. He has learned things.

The Terrible Things We Do (For Love) by rospeaks

Being a demon, he’s seen some of the pretty nasty things that humans are willing to do for love. Things that, were he still alive (and human), would make him hesitate to be in a relationship with anyone lest his partner start getting some funny ideas. That said—

"This seems a little desperate for a kid your age," he says to Stiles.

Spin, Sweet Clotho by ChuckleVoodoos

Oh, it’s a beautiful thing to watch, the way they dance around each other, spun in sugar and glittering glass. Like a fragile little fairytale, a tender rosebud just waiting to unfurl. It makes Peter sick.

Because love is a fairytale, and his dear darling nephew does not deserve a happy ending.

whisper by tricksterity

Stiles was tired.

He was done of people pushing him and his pack around. They’d already lost so much and he was damned if he’d let them lose anyone else, especially to this psychopath who had no reasons for what he did other than he liked it.

And that’s when the whispers in his mind grew louder.

Remember Darling, All the While by Sang_argente

It was fire, ice, electricity. It was the first kiss, the last kiss, and every kiss inbetween. It was lips parting, tongues sliding, hearts beating.

Impress Me by ToAStranger

Their new English teacher has gone missing.

Falling Upward by moonstalker24

There is nothing quite like flying. There is a calm and a peace found in the sky that cannot be found on earth. All the chaos of the world is below you and there is no sound save that which the propeller makes as the engine turns it. You are free and unfettered and the clouds are close enough to touch; all you need do is stretch out your hand to grasp them.

Stiles takes Peter flying after he gets out of Eichen House.

Sweeter Than Gingerbread by taylorpotato (Stetallison)

The saying goes that lovers who commit suicide together start their next life as twins. Perhaps that's why Stiles and Ally feel the way they do about each other.

The Shadow Effect by Mysenia

What was the fun in being a twin if you couldn't trick a person or two?

Deep under by Sashaya

There's a reason Stiles knows so much about drowning. He'd rather not remember why...

All the World's a Stage (but the light design is subpar) by BonesOfBirdWings

Peter Hale is a successful Off-Broadway actor, and Stiles is a stage lighter who literally falls into his life.

Peter smiled at him. "Thank you, Stiles. But should I take this to mean that you don't want a meatball sandwich from Banh Mi Saigon?"

Stiles' mouth dropped open. "You - I - Yes, I want! Oh my god, you do the best apologies! Can you piss me off more, please? I accept all future apologies enthusiastically!"

Peter chuckled. "I'm sure that won't be a problem, dear boy. I've been informed that I'm an asshole by a very reliable source."

Stiles beamed. "But you have good taste in food, so things balance out?" he ventured.

Peter threw back his head and laughed. Stiles' grin brightened in answer.

The D.C. Backroom Deal by septima_sum

Stiles is a regular prostitute with moderate life goals – until his current client makes him an offer he can’t refuse.

Strange Duet by BelleAmante, thiliart (thilia)

The past three years have been a series of shocking, or not so shocking, successes for 2018 Tony award winner and two time Grammy nominee, Stiles Stilinski. You don’t typically find classically trained opera singers singing alternative folk rock to crowds at Coachella. Nor do you find indie singer/songwriters winning best actor awards at the Tony’s for their Broadway debuts. Stilinski has made it his lifetime habit to defy and exceed all expectations.

-or-

A Steter fic loosely based on Phantom of the Opera

Hold Me Down by sneksonaplane

Waking up in Peter Hale’s bed was weird. Waking up in Peter Hale’s body was even weirder. Stiles had been disoriented and confused when he’d found himself in a plush, king sized bed in an unfamiliar bedroom instead of in his own room (and seriously, why did Peter even need a king sized bed? Why would anyone need a bed that big?) It had all come back to him when he’d glimpsed the body he was inhabiting, one that was shorter but more defined than his own, and older, and kind of hot.

OR

The one where Stiles and Peter swap bodies, Peter relives his adolescence, Stiles suffers, and then suffers a little less when he discovers Peter's fetlife profile where he's listed as a submissive seeking a daddy.

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night by Guede

This is a ghost story. It’s not straightforward.

Put My Faith in Something Unknown by Twisted_Mind

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, suspended between thought and action, unable to feel. At some point, he becomes aware that there’s a hand on his face. A warm palm cradles his jaw, and a thumb brushes across his cheekbone tenderly.

The Rest of Our Lives by mia6363

“I don’t know, as a kid I watched a lot of movies, you know? And at first I figured like… I’d be on some great adventure that would take me away from it all, you know? Like Indiana Jones comes around and is all, ‘Hey Stiles, buddy, come with me we’ve got to go save the world.’ Then… you and… everything happened… then I just… I figured I’d die before I was eighteen.”

Enemy Action by pprfaith

Once is chance, twice is coincidence and three times is far too many bodies on the ground.

Buy Me a New Pair by Julibean19

"I don't practice law much these days."

"And why is that?" Stiles asked, wondering why a handsome and presumably successful lawyer wouldn't want to continue working.

"I've been drawn away by more pleasurable pursuits," Peter said, lips quirked upward as he spoke.

Tale as Old as Time by wynnebat

The one in which Lydia's got better things to do than be Belle, Stiles is a much more likeable Gaston, and Peter is a beast but not quite beastly.

The clothes make the man by FeelingsDusk

The trick to sneaking into a building where you shouldn’t be is to make it seem to all eyes like you should. Stiles has been doing this since he was a little older than toddler and he wanted to get back his Batman action figure from the evidence room in his dad’s Police Station.

(Spolier alert: just like back then, Stiles gets caught.)

Smile Like You Mean It by NinaRooxx

After sulking about the changing weather over the autumn, Stiles notices that despite the weather getting colder, Peter’s wardrobe isn’t changing at all.

Swing by ShippersList

Stiles wants to fly.

Angels, Devils, and Peter by Triangulum

Everyone has an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. They give advice, help guide their human through life. They tempt, they listen, they offer help. Everyone has one of each. Everyone except for Stiles.

OR

Stiles and Peter are murder husbands.

love and madness by sinequanon

Peter and Stiles haven’t seen each other in months when the alphas ask them to meet up to look over an abandoned house. Now, they’re going to be seeing a lot of each other for quite a while to come.

Not This Again by RebaK1tten

There's a rumor that the last episode of the show will have Peter getting killed, again. Perhaps to give him a redemption arc or something.

A Light at the (Near) End of the World by ladyoneill

The world he grew up in has ended in a supernatural war that devastated the human population. A survivor, Stiles lives a solitary, quiet life in Wales until there's a knock on his door.

Through Space and Time by MaroonDragon

When Stiles pulls the body of Peter Hale into his ship, he doesn't expect him to be alive. He also doesn't realise he might have gotten more than he bargained for.

His Color by SushiOwl

“Darling, have you been carrying a throw-away comment I made in your mind for almost four months?”

Stiles’s face felt like it was one with fire now.

After You by FlyAwayMeow (rjaejoo)

It’s true that sometimes what you want the most, you can’t have and that you’ll miss what you once had all along when it’s finally gone.

After breaking his engagement to Chris, Peter heads to New York to start over. He meets Stiles, a young author at his publishing house who helps him piece his confidence back together. When tragedy strikes, he discovers how to finally let go of his past and have the family and future he's always wanted with the pieces already in his life.

Looking After You by Slayer_of_Destiny

Can Peter be a chance for Stiles, can Stiles be a second chance for Peter? When Peter offers Stiles a relationship will the younger man take the chance with the werewolf?

Maybe We Both Are by lavenderlotion

The first time Stiles lets his fingers brush against Peter he wasn’t expecting the response he got. They were sitting on Stiles bed researching something. Or, they were researching. Now they were just talking. They did that a lot these days, just talked. They also ate together a lot. Or got coffee.

these words bear my scars (paint your love on my skin) by WindyRein

One day butterflies and childish codes change to I'm sorry you're meant for a murderer and he won't realize for years how much that changed his life.

Before you let go (and the light takes you in) by Issay

Stiles makes one last errand - goes to leave flowers on all the other graves. Fuck, so many graves. The grief is as endless and as inescapable as the sky.

He goes home and there is a thing wearing his father's face, waiting for him in the kitchen.

The Lady of Lightning by kiranightshade

"Those who foolishly sought power by riding the back of the tiger ended up inside"

Can You Use Lube For That? by AlreadyBoss

“You think your what is haunted now?” Surely he'd misheard. There was no way-

“My vibrator,” Stiles answered with alarming sincerity.

Well. He hadn't misheard after all.

Pianist Envy by Bunnywest

Stiles is the piano player.Peter can think of other things he'd like to see those hands do.Shame the guy's straight.

Everything You Deserve by Areiton

You think about it. More than you should, you think about it. About what would have happened, if you had bitten Stiles instead of Scott.

Home by Ragga

Don't be like him, they would say, and then add, or else you get burned.

Unable to bear the whispers any longer, This One left. He forsook those who forsook him, left him bear his scars alone, the scars he bore for his herd. It was better to be alone, stay off the currents, than swim with those most undeserving of his loyalty. So mote it be.

That is, until he met That One.

Lord Peter by Therapeutic_Steter

Peter rung out the rag before gently placing it on his mother’s head, reaching over to feel his father’s equally flushed features.

“Such a good boy,” his mother said, patting his arm with what little strength she had remaining. His father smiled softly at him even as his fell unconscious. Peter pushed back the lump in his throat, smiling shakily for his mother before venturing out into the living space.

knit me together by nezstorm

Peter asks Stiles to stay the night after a really awful day.

Warriors by CinnamonLily

Peter is ten years old when humans discover Azure, a planet not unlike Earth. From there on, he wants to learn everything about their new neighbors and the planet itself. It takes him over twenty years to get to Azure, but when he does, it's so worth it. His anthropologist heart is happy, and a new acquaintance in the form of an Azurian called Stiles might just make the rest of him happy, too.

[overdramatics]

i think fan content created by cishets who fetishize queer relationships has had a huge impact on a lot of the current community, at least online. i say this because it affected me a lot too; when i was 14 i didn't realize that all those popular gay ships weren't by actual sgl people but by cishet people, so i bought into it. the terminology and “representation” the used and created had a big impact on the way i viewed queer relationships as well as the terminology i used. maybe the most direct example of this is that phrase we’ve all heard- “you're such a bottom/they’re such a bottom.” I’m going to assume that we all know why this doesn't make sense since it has been deconstructed many times so i wont explain why ~being a bottom~ is in no way a personality trait or something you can tell about a person just by the way they look/act since this is information you can easily access by a quick search if you’re unaware.

throughout any fandom within the past several years (i would say 10 years but that does feel like a stretch, somewhere between 5 and 10) you can find a multitude of cishet girls taking any short and/or feminine guy character or real life person and calling them a bottom. taking any two skinny white men (fictional or real) and instantly shipping them, not because there is real chemistry or they genuinely care about good representation but for obvious reasons that... aren't those things. young teenagers who are entering online fandom spaces having recently started coming to terms with their sexuality/romantic orientation haven't quite gotten to the point where they can be critical of online spaces or the content they interact with and who that content is created by. all they see is a place where gay relationships aren't treated as disgusting, so they practically instantly embrace these spaces*. again, at this point they basically cant be critical of the media they consume and the contexts its created under, so they end up getting so much of their “representation” from cishet content creators (especially since it can be difficult to know that the content you’re consuming is a fetishized version of queerness created by cishet people if you dont know what good rep looks like or the identities of the creators you follow).

i am not the right person to go in depth in this aspect of it (I’m white, tme, and nblm), but it needs to be noted that fetishized content and its creators are often very white, which is why mlmoc/nblmoc are rarely seen in these spaces, they’re erased and if recognized its often only through harmful stereotypes. also it needs to be noted that wlw/nblw and trans fem people are vilified in these spaces while (white) mlm/nblm and trans mascs are infantalized and fetishized.

hopefully its started to get better recently, but i don't know since I’m largely removed from fandom spaces. the only “fandom” I’m in is mcr and even then i follow very few creators and they are all in some way lgbtq+ and I’m pretty sure many are poc. so idk the current state of fandoms abroad bc i mainly follow blogs who are critical of this kind of thing. i do hope that fandoms across the internet have become more critical of the content produced within them and of the creators producing content. I think the best way to solve this issue is to help young queer people entering fandom spaces know what the red flags of infantalizing/fetishizing queer relationships looks like and point them towards good lgbtq+ creators as well as creators of color.

the reason that this is such an issue, beyond people annoyingly calling every feminine and/or short man a bottom or every white gay man they see a twink, is that it erases decades of queer culture and allows cishets to define our language. im sure it especially impacts black queer history as well (eg; white lesbians calling themselves “studs” when that is a black exclusive term). and dont get me wrong, im not specifically blaming young teens who simply dont know better for this issue existing. and, since im afraid that some terf or exclusionist hopping on this post, when i say cishet i am not reffering to trans fems or ace/aro people “”””polluting the community””””” so dont start with that, i am talking about the issues that come with predominately white cisgender heterosexual people fetishizing and infantalizing mlm/nblm while erasing queer terms and history that have existed for decades and vilifying wlw/nblw, trans fems, poc, and people who are more than one of those.

TL;DR: unfortunately very young people are impressionable and not critical of the communities and content they interact with, this has caused a shift in (mainly) online queer spaces.

*as a clarification, when i refer to “spaces”/”these spaces” throughout this post i am talking about fandoms, or certain corners of fandoms, that are mainly comprised of white cishet people where most of the content and the center of focus is shipping two male characters (or real people), most of the time they are white, skinny, actually straight (not mlm/nblm), and if not already fitting into male+female gender roles they get put into those roles (there is one feminine one and one masculine one). for examples, think of destiel and like any band ever (ryden, petekey, frerard, etc.)

[bigskydreaming]

Its ok to call Dick the heart of DC universe? Because i've seen a lot of people does, and i could get it, if DC wasn't so shitty then Dick would be tHE DC HERO. Like, he is kind of the combination of Batman and Superman, two of the most iconic DC superheroes!!

LOL plz don’t take this the wrong way because it is in NO way aimed at you so much as just like….a commentary on something that tends to happen a lot lately, but like…..its kinda awkward for me when people approach me with asks that kinda feel like they’re asking my permission to hold certain opinions, for lack of a better word? Because I’m honestly not out here trying to be the authority on anything, I quite literally am just another random fan, who happens to just be very opinionated and not shy about that. But there’s a tendency of late for people to act like that means I’m trying to (or even succeeding) to like….bully people into sharing my opinions when tbh, I’m just out here saying whatever pops into my mind, and I honestly never have ANY clue what ‘opinionated’ posts of mine will die the death of less than ten notes, and which ones will take off and get hundreds. 

So like…..I feel its really important to stress that I neither have, nor WANT, any control over what other people do. When I yell really loudly about a particular opinion, it literally doesn’t mean anything other than like….I happen to believe very strongly in that opinion or am very passionate about it. The posts of mine that take off, like….do so literally for the same reason anyone else’s posts take off…other people find enough in those posts that resonate with them or say something they agree with or just find interesting enough to be worth reblogging. That’s it. And that’s all it should be.

Again, I don’t mean this to like, make you feel like you did anything wrong here lol, your ask was just worded in such a way that it felt like a relevant time to point that out again. So by all means, call Dick whatever you want to, for whatever reasons you want to! You don’t need anyone else’s approval! As for me, I honestly don’t know that I have a super strong opinion on Dick being the heart of the DC universe, even if that sounds strange given what a big fan of his I am….but srsly, I just…..want him to have good, compelling stories that make sense for him. 

I don’t really care if he’s the most visible or beloved hero in the DC universe - idk how familiar you are with my blog, but one of my other all time favorite heroes is Kyle Rayner, and he’s barely on DC’s radar these days, and isn’t even the most high profile or visible or beloved Green Lantern, let alone DC hero….and lol, sure I may rant every now and then about how I think that’s a waste of his potential and that I think he deserves more of a spotlight, but that’s purely a matter of wanting more stories to read with him, and the lack of a spotlight or huge fanbase for him doesn’t really change how big a fan of his I am, one way or another, y’know?

So my stance tends to be…..in general, I think the focus on what ‘position’ various characters occupy in like, the hierarchy of most famous/important/beloved heroes….honestly, I think it mostly generates a lot of drama and doesn’t ultimately accomplish anything productive. Like, it doesn’t actually change anything, one way or another. Which is why my focus personally tends to be on like…..the things I rant most about are what I perceive as double standards applied to Dick’s character, compared to other characters. Or him being left out or overlooked in stories where I feel this is a mistake because I think he’s RELEVANT to those specific stories and his absence or the lack of focus on him feels jarring to me, etc. 

To me, the latter things there play far more of a role in how many stories Dick appears in and more importantly how WELL he’s written in them, as opposed to just like how popular or iconic he is overall…..but again, this is just my personal approach.

For what its worth, on a somewhat related note, I do tend to have a kind of knee-jerk…..resistance to a lot of emphasis being placed on Dick being the ‘heart of the DC universe’/multiversal constant/’most noble/good-hearted of the heroes’ etc…..for reasons I detail more in this post here…..but all of that is just a matter of how a high profile and a very specific, defined ‘niche’ or reputation can be a double-edged sword when it comes to characters.

[intp-the-thinker]

Totally Useless (Inner) Thoughts #3

Hello people, i assume you were looking for a more activity on my blog, but it's the end of the year, and you know, tests, school trips...etc. I had a big need to write the third post from my own Inner Thoughts series, but i didn't really havmd an idea what i should write about. Not that now i'm sure what i want to write about, so we'll see where will my mind lead me (or us, if you want). I'm currently so overwhelmed by the amount of things which depend on my decisions...and i'm a really indecisive person. I read in one post that INTPs don't like to be leaders, nor do they want to make decisions, so they prefer when someone else makes the final decisions, but on the other hand, they want to think for themselves, and take their own actions. Of course, this might have something with typology, but not necessarily. Can we even make the right decisions ? The question that pops into my mind right after asking this question, is what do we even define as the "right decision" ? Are there even right decisions ? Bc you know, everybody thinks that their decisions were/are right at some point of their decision-making process. So yeah, this is where i'm stuck these past days, but i'm not really stressed about it, idk why, i just kinda think about it. I once made a post saying just "why do we have to make decisions" or smthg like that. I also made one saying "everything is connected", didn't i...well, but everything is. And everything is so complex in its own way. Like, as i look at it, everything is a part of something big, but everything has its own structure and parts. It really is interesting, when you look on the world from this point of view. You can notice some patterns and things which are hidden otherwise. Even now, the "everything is connected" is connected to "why do we have to make decisions", and the problems with decision-making. And it's all just because everything is connected. Don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to impress you, or anything like that. It's just...when you want to make the best decision, whether it is the most logical, or not, you have to look on everything that will be changed, or affected by your decision. And there are lots and lots of it. Of course, this problem becomes a problem just when we want to make objective decisions, and since the present world is more focused on individualism and subjectivity of every being, it is not a problem. But is that true ? Is the focus on individualism and subjectivity really good ? Because we can make a mouse of an elephant, but elephant will always be an elephant, and mouse will always be a mouse. Some problems will always be big, and some will always be less important. And in my opinion, this is the biggest problem of todays world. "What is not important to you can be really important for someone else." and the opposite as well. Sure, it might be true, but that does not mean it is good. I believe people are being a bit overdramatic. Again, don't get me wrong, i don't want to hurt anyone, but any way i look at it, people are a bit overemotional and overdramatic. I won't lie, i'm a bit sick of it...but what can i do about it ? Nothing. So yeah, well, these are my thoughts, don't tell me they're chaotic, i warned you somewhere in previous posts...idk how to end this so probably just...bye ? I really don't know...

Here are some songs, i will just put them here because i can and i'm bored and i kinda want to put them here:

[mikkock]

HELLO I ADORE YOUR OCS SO MUCH WILL YOU TELL ME ABOUT KAI HE LOOKS LIKE A TOTAL "YOUR DAUGHTER CALLS ME DADDY TOO" DOUCHEBAG AND I FUCKING LOVE HIM AND WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM

LBLMVBGK THANK U OMG love it when ppl like my kids, im a proud dad rn

ALSO wrow congrats on ur on point analysis, cause, that’s the Essence Of His Being (fun fact since i got two characters who go by the name of kai -cause fuck that basic writing tip that says ‘dont have two characters named the same thing- i usually refer to him as The Bad Kai cuz he a bad bitch)

so lets unwrap that dude shall we uwu 

SO this dude was created when i realised my story didnt have antagonists so i made a bunch of Bad People and then they all became good people after i started giving them more personnality somehow eXCEPt him for some reason, the only survivor of the “everyone will be baby” plague, the only rude bitch in this house, the only guy who’s still on the dark grey side of morally grey...but tbh im in love with him cause he’s an asshole and im an idiot so like.

His base concept was basically something along the lines of “fuckboy but make it Couture”, like douchebag indeed But Gotta Be Fancy at being one, gotta add a pinch of Sneaky Bitch in the pot. His aesthetic is Chillin, gettin in ur pants, then moving on for some more chillin and more pants. So if you’re into some funky sexy time with no pressure and no ties, ya gon get along, your goals meet, time to have fun.

All that is supported by his charisma, cause unless ya got some nasty history, he’ll just look like that charming bad-boy “oho hot dude with a dangerous but not agressive” vibed person, and he’s quite a sweet-talker. He’s probs not only the ‘your daughter calls me daddy’ kind but also ‘and so will YOU, i’m scoring with the whole family and you wont stop me (and you wont WANT to stop me)’ 

He got that handsome ppl priviledge ya feel

but also, he wouldnt be a rude guy if he was just the ‘i enjoy chill frick-fracking and im just so sexy that no one can say no to that booty’ guy

Dude got quiiite some spite-fueled ego and Does Not Take losing well, and will not, in fact, let himself lose on any objective he has, and when that objective is A Person, he gets ugly. Being good at sweet talking also means being good at small stuff like “not saying exactly the truth always when it would be more beneficial not to”, “deliberately using euphemistic, ambiguous or obscure language so to mask wrong doings and technically saying the truth but in such a way that it becomes completely masked by a thick fog of bullshit”, and “use words and behaviour in general to influence others unscrupulously so to get something in return”. Even a little “playing with their perception in order to make them doubt in their thoughts and selves”. In short dude got no qualms about using all the tools of manipulation available if it means that he comes on top (or on bottom if the goal was getting an assful eeeeeey we’re masters of comedy here) It tends to be all for short term results tho, so not much your ‘boyfriend who convinces you you’re nothing without him” and more of a “you thought you were dating but only you were thinking that as he always kept it just vague enough to have you not official yet convinced of his and now you’re blaming yourself for believing you were together”

master of getting ass, also master of Ugly Ass Breakups, and master of suddenly dissapearing from your life so hard that you wonder if it was just your imagination all along (he got ugly past with a bunch of other ocs especially he’s ex boyfriend with two that are now together cause i dig that sort of drama the sAME dUDe gave u the trust issues that held u from going full lovey dovey ? i fucking lIVE off that kinda shit wait until he pops back like ‘oho hello fancy seeing YOU TWO here my two fave exes together incredible what a small world”)

Though I have to rework on all that cause that backstory is oLD AS SHIT (like prolly i built it in what, 2016? ew ugly) I had that stem from some sort of neglect-fueled inferiority complex. I had given him a kinda cold family with a bunch of siblings who got Way More Nurtured due to their respective talents and achievements, having him left behind and feeling like he got nothing. SO that’s basically the explanation as of today but i dont like iiiiit anymooooore so I’ll have to work on it to make it something i dig, cause idk, bitch feels flat so far.

BUT i do intend on keeping the whole concept of ~Loneliness~, and of him working alone and quite hard for anything he gets. And the general need of proving himself that had come from the WIP backstory. I don’t exactly see him as an overachiever at all, but definitly as an obstinate and persevering hardworking guy, because “Look YALL I WAS aBLE TO DO THIS YALL THOUGHT I COULDNT HUH YALL LOOK DOWN ON ME well fuck u cause idc im better than u now also ur mum’s into bondage i kno from experience bye”. So tbh pair up with him for group projects, you’ll be sure his share of the work will be done (but also if you dont do yours then he’s probably going to be a bITCh about it, no remorse in leaving blank slides in the middle of the powerpoint and then loudly proclaiming ‘OH RIGHT This was supposed to be Kevin’s part but I suppose he never sent it to me, despite the numerous reminders i sent him, no big deal, no hard feelings, its ok sweetie we all sometimes feel too lazy i forgive u :)” )

Also he’d be Chill to hang out with for like, parties, nights out at the bar, that kinda shit. He definetly has some beans to spill about quite some people, he gathers the goss as he gathers lovers (i was gonna end that in “as he spreads legs” but it sounded too PG-18 for this good Well Behaved family friendly blog) and Will Not stay tight lipped, and Will be a bitch when trashtalking people, and It Will Be Entertaining as it always is when you’re hearing about crazy exes and you’ve had some beers. 

Now trivia that idk where else to write cause idk i stupid or more like disorganised :

- he digs red ale beer like if ya wanna win him over with the appropriate alcohol offer there u go

- he’s a fake blonde (cause my hobby is painting regrowth roots on hair)

- his design is a mixture of those 3dgy denim boys u see on pinterest and the specific brand of fuckboys that are french-L-section-chic-grunge-hipster-fuckboys (L section is like a branch of highschool)(that word combo is a so specific kinda guy)(its kinda like a softboi but more arrogant but in a lowkey way)(also they rich)(but he’s not rich so guess that should make him Less Arrogant)

-im constantly dead afraid of giving him more characteristics and story or whatveer cause he’s the only meanie i got left and i do Not want him to stop being an asshole but everytime i develop a character they end up nice or redeemed or whatever and i wanna keep him a bitch so i neglect him (just like his parents in his 2016 version wow)

he smokes (prolly started quite early to Be Kool and now relies on it for stress relief)

he’s outspoken and extraverted and prolly the guy who had a lot to say when you were doing debates in class (there’s always that person who has a Lot to argument about)(its him) but outside of a Set and Defined debate structure he probably doesnt give his mind voraciously 

he’s a law student and despite saying he’s the one bad guy left he probably wont be a corrupt lawyer or judge or whatever like come on he will do his job properly he worked hARD FOR THIS justice may be served

he’s not the kind to openly hate or even dislike anyone cause what’s the point of wasting your energy on that? its much funnier to him to be obnoxiously Neutral with someone and basically ignore them but still strike them with some Spikes of passive-agressive comments, let them be Mad at your calmness

he’s 177cm tall (that’s like 5.8 according to google)

honestly if you’re bros with him he’s fun to be with the being a jerk is completly coincidental 

he probably ranks high in the list of “those criminals who steal big lighters from their friends” 

i think at a point his design had tattoos but i forgot the designs of those so now he doesnt anymore

a dog person

i think ive run out of facts (or my brain dead) so im leavin with a shirtless pic cause my hobby is drawing tits

in short, charming asshole who can get ugly, secretly feels lonely and small, works hard for himself, better have him as a friend than as a foe though probably not the most frontally agressive enemy, and also, your booty, hand it over.

[aba-ridemerenji]

people always want to know these fictional characters' kinks, but what are YOURS 👀

ANON THIS IS SO SWEET????? Nobody ever asks me what I like (and i don’t expect them to, this is a Bleach imagines blog). Thank u for asking, baby angel! This is going to be VERY NSFW and TMI.

There are... a lot. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but like… I can only be so vulnerable at any one time ok

CREAMPIES – it’s not the idea of getting pregnant, so much as the, er, substance and the feeling of being stuffed like a double stuffed oreo

since we’re on the topic of being stuffed, big dicks. thick dicks. Just the THOUGHT of being stretched out by a fat one is 👌 (I’m not trying to be a size queen, dont get me wrong, too big with too little prep is a nightmare but when its good, ITS GOOD)

Also one with a very pronounced head ridge? Does that make sense? For me, I can definitely feel a defined corona inside

Spanking.

Say it with me kids: arms and shoulders, arms and shoulders, put my legs on your shoulders

Also juicy tiddies. Give me a pair of hairy bara tiddies and I will want to immediately squeeeeze / sink my teeth into them. This is like half sexual, half asmr/stim(is that the right word??)? You know how people like squishing stress balls? Or slime? This is me with pecs.

Also I’m a lot rougher with pecs, like i feel like they can really take a good kneading/smushing, but boobies, soft and squishy as they are, feel more delicate? I mean I wouldn’t want anyone to touch mine the way I manhandle guy tiddies.

I like to think that I’m some strong independent woman, and I am! But I (mistakenly, I know) equate that with being a dom, and on principle, i don’t want to be a submissive, I want to be that bitch with a whip in one hand and the cock of a drooly, begging mess of a man in the other

but idk who i’m kidding because one time i SHOOK HANDS with a person who was the very definition of a big titty bara daddy IRL, and felt lightheaded for like a good 10 mins afterwards

Thick boys are just so… so solid. And I don’t mean just muscular – if they have a good amount of CHUNK to them on top of the muscle oh my god

And when the person i’m with can command my respect ahhhh it does things to me. Not the insistent, “do what i say” tantrum brand of bossy. I’m talking clear instructions. Fire behind a calm, even tone. Sure of himself. No waffling.

If he’s like this AND he thick?

Im weak yall

Ya anyway idk if that bit about chonky muscular boys qualifies as a kink but I just really needed yall to know how I feel about them.

Super bonus if they tall

Ok i know the tall thing is basic but tall + chonky = love. I just love feeling tiny ok

And yes this also goes hand in hand with liking big dicks

Big buff guys who look really MEAN are also so my type?? If you look jacked af and pissed as hell about it, I will literally do whatever you want (as long as you’re actually a good person and not an asshole)

Also romantic sex ahhhhhhhh its the best my kink is love

I’m also not mad at period sex. It’s usually a good time

Idk if its a breast kink if it’s MY breasts involved, but when a guy plays with my nipples i go from 0-100 real quick

In conclusion, a lot of this is mental, as sex usually is. Even if my experiences with my kinks have not all been positive in reality, the fantasy of it definitely does it for me.

[smallblanketfort]

as someone who was raised without religion idk much about god. i have ideas on what i believe in but i’m not sure how strongly i back them. what is god to you? how do you even define the word ‘god’? can god be anything as long as he/she/they/it is something you believe in?

long post alert! first know that my belief in god is why i am here. this belief made this blog. this is such a lovely, big question i have been pondering. i am so so honored that you are asking. i think it’s important to remember that faith in god is really what you make of it. in the words of tyler joseph, “Faith is to be awake, and to be awake is for us to think.. you need to try to think.” remember this. your faith is your own to create.

just a note, this post will seem all over the place, but it’s only bc my belief in god is so intertwined with life philosophy and experience. i cannot separate these things.

first, things important to note in your faith journey //  god as a being who loves questions and god as a being not defined by church or politics

as a bit of background, i grew up in christian churches, and i still call myself a christian. as i have gained life experience and developed my own identity, this has allowed me to ask more questions about the Bible and the traditional god.

don’t let questions scare you. questions are a healthy way to explore and get to know such enormous concepts such as the divine. questions get you answers.

don’t let your aggressive stop you. “Is it ever acceptable to be angry at God? I would suggest that it is not only acceptable, it may be one of the hallmarks of a truly religious person. It puts honesty ahead of flattery.”- Harold S. Kushner

often, churches may shoot down questions, but this is a hierarchal system speaking, not god. churches are made of people. they don’t speak for god, and i really need you to remember this. you don’t have to subscribe to everything a church says. question everything. the bible is absolutely full of people questioning and doubting and being angry with god- which is part of why i believe in it. it’s raw humanness, and it is okay. listen to cataracts by levi the poet, or at least the track big business. alternatively: “Every day I am afraid that he [Jesus] died for nothing because he is buried in our churches, because we have betrayed his revolution in our obedience to and fear of the authorities.”— excerpt from “A Radical Christian Creed” by Dorothee Soelle

god and genderso to begin, i recently tweeted about god being… gender queer, or simply without gender. the bible generally uses masc pronouns and titles like father, but i believe that an unlimited god cannot be constrained into human constructs. if we are all made in god’s image, god is not strictly male. to say god can only be male is to place societal, human constraint on the devine. the characteristics to describe the divine biblical “father” arent reserved for male in our society. god isnt human. i am getting into the practice of saying “the divine” or “they” pronouns to describe god. anyway- i do believe in the trinity (god, son, holy spirit, more on this towards the bottom) so they is absolutely a christian term.

god and love and evili believe god is a loving, creating force. i often hear people asking “why does god allow this” and frankly, i can’t relate. if i believe in a good force, i have to believe in an evil force as well. if i believe in good and evil, i have to also believe they are at odds, fighting a spiritual warfare. i also hate the phrase “it happens for a reason.” sure, maybe. but your tragedy is tragedy. your chaos/trauma/pain is chaos/trauma/pain, not a lesson by default. however, since i do believe god is a loving, creating force, i believe that god can find something good to give you out of everything. perhaps we might not discover this good for years, or maybe the good will be something that you don’t experience, but, for example, perhaps telling your story saves someone else.

everything good as an echo to the divinealong with that, i believe everything good in the world is created by god, and thus an extension / connection to the divine. this helps me overcome depression and anxiety. i can wake up every day and say, wow, look at all this faith entertained: the sky and its clouds. leaves. the way milky chai tastes. music somehow exists and transcends space and time?? people love hugs? animals like pats? science!! sweaters are dope, they change our body temperature. the fuel that keeps us going tastes good??? what even is taste? can you believe color is just light unabsorbed? incredible. thank you.this type of gratitude is indeed a practice, something to work on daily. it’s not always easy. i don’t want to act like it’s an easy cure to mental illness. it’s a practice that def helps me tho.

including all peoplewhich extends towards people. i love the phrase namaste: the divine light in me recognizes and honors the divine light in you. suddenly, everyone is valuable. everyone is created. everyone is experiencing the world. it makes kindness much easier. this is why i don’t understand most phobias… how can one say a divine creator didn’t mean to create different flavors of love?! it’s beautiful.

let me say that again: all peoplei want to get this straight, esp w our… political climate. this post say it better than i can: the immigrant apostle creed and the litany for the dreamers. i also think it’s interesting to remember that many native americans believe that trans people are closer to the divine, bc of points i made earlier- god can’t really be boxed into a gender. also, i believe in a feminist jesus that was a child refugee and a homeless man who experienced suicidal thoughts and anxiety. (i’ll try to link references when i get home)

other religions and my godi study a lot of buddhism and other religions. i like to understand things. i love buddhism, and i believe it, but i think that having faith in this god offers depth and purpose. where buddhism empties, yeshua, the christian jesus, fills. it’s service to ease the pain of the earth, out of love. that’s it.

faith as movementwhich is also to say, yes, shitty people exist, and i can easily become so. it’s an uphill battle, but i like to view living as becoming closer to the person i was created to be. as we live, we have all these sides giving us input, shaping us. what we believe shifts who we are. we need to be selective as to which voices we are buying into. are these voices bringing us closer to the loving, whole person we are created to be?

god as a forgiving figurei believe god is forgiving. again, i believe in an evil force too, but i believe that god’s doors stay open. this isn’t an end. 

everything is a gift / god in everythingwhich brings it full circle. i believe god’s hand is in all the beautiful things. the giggly groupchats and sleep overs. the gasps of surprised joy and the dark chocolate. love love love love so many types of love. comfy beds. so much can be a religious experience.

further reading, from twenty one pilots to tags to the message-

i encourage you to also take a peek at my thread on coping mechanisms in twenty one pilots’ discography. it’s extremely difficult for me to separate top from my faith.

as for the trinity… just as i have different facets (daughter, friend, lover, coworker, etc) i believe that god can have different facets as well- the divine figure who is all knowing, the figure who has experiences humanness, and the spirit that comes closer, inhibiting the rest. tbr, i don’t find this concept extremely important. it’s all god to me, whatever.

again, thank you so so much for giving me space to talk about this. it’s so generous and kind and open of you. i am genuinely honored. it’s something that is very engrained into the way i see the world, tho i know i do not speak of it often. it’s difficult for me to find the vocabulary for something that is so based on feeling and experience for me.

if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask! i’d really love the dialogue.

if you want a jumping off place for what i believe, the message bible is really cool. you can read it in book form from your library, or online for free. start at luke, or matthew/mark/john- just any of the four books about jesus. read the words, not what you’ve heard in politics or church. i can’t stress this enough. the more i read, the less i see a connection between these institutions.

i also have a faith tag on my personal blog. you can get a feel for what i believe here.

i hope that was vaguely interesting to someone :)) again feel free to ask any questions 

xxx you are loved for who you are and the true you you are becoming

[aquarianlights]

I'm preaching to the choir here, but I'm gonna say it anyways.

Pants sizes. Jesus fucking christ.

I'm a transman, but I have not started HRT yet as my doctor doesn't think it is medically and psychologically safe for me (yet). That doesn't mean I don't wear men's clothing. However...the one thing I do wear a mixture of is female and male pants.

To get you guys in perspective, in guys pants. I'm a 28/30. And that's only because I can never find anything lower than 28. 28 is about maybe 2ish sizes too big for me. And 30 is too long. So really I'd be more of a 26/28. . .but that really doesn't happen. Hence why I usually shop in the little boys section. 28 is even almost impossible to find.

Yesterday I was in the mall doing some much needed pants shopping (I've had two pairs for about 2 years so I was finally able to get new ones). I, ofc, tried on an assortment of men's and women's pants.

Guess fucking what?

All the stores I go to are average. Not large, not small. I'm above average in size, probably bigger than most actually, but not enough to shop in the plus size section. But my number in boys jeans fit me that way, as stated above. Which is so nice because THEY’RE ALL THE FUCKING SAME... then I get to women's pants.......

One store, I'm a size 6. Another store, I'm a size 14. I can't even tell you all the number differences between that. And it just frustrates the hell out of me (and I'm sure everyone else). As someone who has struggled with anorexia since early childhood, fitting into a size 14 and being so comfortable in them that I just had to get them almost made me have a breakdown. I'm glad I got them coz they're comfortable af but. I've never been in the double digits until I started on antipsychotics. And even then, the highest I ever went was a size 10.

And I just don't understand..... I have a woman's hourglass figure. I have hips. Ridiculous hips. I hate them with a passion because it means I can never button the very last button on men's fitted shirts (like dress shirts) because they're made for people without hips. Obvs, HRT is gonna help with that but it could very well be a while with my current medical situation. I still have two weeks to wait on my arthritis and general rheumatoid blood work and I'm gonna have to get another draw for lupus very soon. And financially? Hrt is not a reality right now.

So what even.

And I'm trying to get a vest to go over a dress suit for suave business casual and what happens? All the fucking men's vests are ridiculously huge in the shoulder area and super wide in the chest area. Everything fits perfectly......except I'd have to get a seamstress to cinch the shoulders by maybe 3 inches and tighten the chest area by a few inches, too. I'm thoroughly frustrated and honestly a little distraught at sizing issues.

I fit an XL shirt in the little boys section, sometimes just an L. I go in to find fitted shirts and a vest in the men's section and I end up in a SM size. I have rarely been able to fit anything above an XSM in men's clothing. Normally I'm an XXSM in men's but that's hard to find. And women's shirts? I'm a medium (as long as I'm in the petite juniors section). Sometimes I have to up it to L, but there are some occasions where a SM is perfect (AGAIN, WHAT THE FUCK).

I don't understand why we can't have universal MEASURED sizes.....like on men's jeans. It makes so much sense and makes everything so much easier. Why the actual fuck do we bother with all this other bullshit? ESPECIALLY in women's clothing. I feel so badly for girls, especially those suffering from EDs, who have to shop and go through what I do every time I shop for clothing. It's a little easier for me coz I shop mostly in the men’s department...but I remember when I was forced to be closeted and had to buy in the women's section and every goddamn shopping trip ended with me in a panic attack by the time I got to the car.

And I just wanted to put it out there.......you guys and gals and whomever inbetween..... your size does not define you. I have horrible anorexia that I am trying so hard to overcome and this sizing bullshit, especially in women's clothing, has fucked me up even worse than when I was a child. When I was in elementary school, I used to eat paper instead of food because I thought you had to eat "something" to exist but I thought eating food would make me fat since my parents were always poking at my tummy and reminding me over and over again that "you can't have that. You'll get fat." or "Are you really going to eat that? You just ate a whole bowl of macaroni yesterday. Why don't you wait until tomorrow." And that's not even including any societal pressures we ALL face.

I'm about 130lbs right now at 5'2". To put that in perspective for sizing.

To everyone who struggles with this..... I feel you. I'm there with you. I don't think I will ever stop being there. You are not alone. Sizing in America is fucked. Idk about other countries, but America is fucked in general so ofc sizing is FUCKED. But you know what?

You are fucking beautiful no matter what you wear. You are a goddess. A god. Whichever you're feeling. Or something inbetween. You are beautiful, you are loved, you are incredible and strong and courageous and you have the power to fucking destroy this pain that eats away at you telling you not to have that coffee from Starbucks this morning because of the calories and sugar content and whatever else.

Finding out I most likely have lupus or have some sort of major liver damage has made me think "You know what? Fuck this. Fuck all of this. Fuck America. Fuck sizing. Fuck trying to stave off all the sodium and calories and fat content and everything else on that label. Fuck reading every content label and scanning it with apps that promote ana and mia. Fuck that." This is coming from a boy who used to have his own pro-ana blog, btw. 

No. Don't fucking go there. Don't let this world and its sizing destroy you. Don't fucking let it. Don't. I'm crying as I'm typing this because I'm saying this as much to myself as I am to everyone else who needs to hear it.

You CAN go out of your house in the morning. You're not “too fat” to leave your apartment. You're not “too fat” to stay locked in your room all day because you feel you're too big to be seen in public. When I don't leave the house, that's the exact reason why. I cannot even TELL YOU how many opportunities in my life I have let slip by me because of that train of thought. "You're too fat and ugly to leave the house today. You need to lock yourself in your room and never be seen again." Don't. Fucking don't. Get out there. Wear what you want. Wear what makes you happy....what makes you comfortable... idc what size you are. Fat is not a bad word. It's not. And the media and society wants you to see it as such and internalize that and kill yourself over it.

Don't. Let. It. Win. Keep fucking fighting.

If you're not comfortable with your body, by all means, take steps to change it if it is medically and chemically possible. But don't risk your life over a number. Or many numbers. Fuck the scale. Fuck sizes. Fuck your self hatred because you're beautiful and I know you may not see that... but you are. Everyone is beautiful in so many different ways.

The quote I like to reference the most is something like: “Just because you don't find yourself attractive doesn't mean other people don't. You just may not be your own type.”

Those people staring at you? They’re admiring something on you. Most people don’t have the courage to just walk up to someone and tell them they’re staring at them because of this or that. Luckily, I don’t have anxiety issues so I can just go right up to people and be like “Yo, I’m so sorry if you saw me staring at you, but your hair is legit just mesmerizing. Like. I’m really sorry I was staring. It’s just so gorgeous. What dye did you use?” Most people can’t do that and I know. I’ve never dealt with anxiety myself, but I do deal with panic attacks and I cannot function at all if I’m having an internal or external panic attack (my attacks are purely physical, hence Panic Disorder and not any sort of anxiety spectrum). So I mean, I get it to an extent. But just know... most people don’t do what I do. They silently stare at you and try not to catch your eye because they’re ADMIRING SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. Ngl, not 100% of the time. . .but I’d say a good 98% of the time, that’s the case.

So you go out there. . .you be you. . .and you be fierce. Because you’re awesome, you’re gorgeous, and I believe in you. So many others do, too.

((I needed to write this for myself, but I guess I wanted to make it public for anyone else struggling. So. . .here. Coz I mean it.))

[chimericarchitect]

((Terrible and Saness discuss the recent trouble she’s been having with her guardian and possible solutions to those problems. There are a few trigger warnings for this chat, including head stuff, manipulation, mind control, amnesia, suicide (sorta), and death in general.))

flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:23 AM FO: chirp? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:24 AM SP: Sorry, I was distracted by a musical interlude. SP: I was gonna ask "what do you want to know" but you'd probably have a hard time forming specific questions without something to base it on. SP: So, uh, you wanted to know why that strategy was the strategy I've got going. I'm not actually set on it because I don't like it as a plan, but I will probe my options before taking action y'know? Even the ones that suck. SP: Anyway, Anista is a golem or something. SP: And it sucks. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:30 AM FO: totally, checking out your options is the smart thing even if some of the options are horrible bullshit.  you wont know exactly how bad an idea they are if you dont check FO: i usually bring up the worst idea first when im tryin to solve my own problems, just so i can cross it off the list... FO: that does suck.  i could tell there was something going on in her, but ive got no idea whats in there. FO: was she always a golem? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:34 AM SP: I think so. I'm guessing a little bit on that part. Context says probably, because I did a thing and almost got wiped so she got replaced with a Brand New Anista Golem that functioned like she used to, meaning that she's acting like a full person again instead of a zombie. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:53 AM FO: uh, yikes FO: you okay there? FO: and who or what replaced her? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:55 AM SP: I'm... uh, yeah. SP: It's just a thing. SP: As for the who/what in charge of replacing her, I'm not quite sure. They're a lot bigger than me, but I'm not willing to say "horrorterror" without evidence. I'm not experienced enough to tell. So, for now, it remains a mystery. SP: If you meant "what is she now" then the answer is "a seemingly normal troll who is constantly keeping tabs on me and probably ready to dropkick my pan at the slightest provocation." flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:01 PM FO: misc eldritch thing #1 it is FO: yikes, thats p shitty FO: if i ever catch you acting different, do you want to give preemptive permission for me to sneak over and try to return you to this state? FO: or like, to come check and make sure any changes are Legit Things You Wanted And Are Fine With Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:03 PM SP: That would be pretty great, if you don't mind. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:04 PM FO: fuckin anytime, dude, ill set myself a timer to peek at your blog once a week.  make sure to delete the logs of this convo in case she peeks at your computer FO: okay so, something happened, and she wound down enough that she stopped working.  but then something else happened, and now shes back. FO: is she winding down again, or is she going to stay at full capacity? FO: did the thing that put her together like this get distracted and wander off forever, or did it wander off and then come back? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:10 PM SP: There is no evidence suggesting that she is in a state of decline, presently. She was fine and seemingly normal for the entirety of three sweeps before she turned into the zombie fake-o person. My current hypothesis is that she... wears out? Like a timer, or an old battery or something. SP: The thing that did this obviously isn't hanging out 24/7 or I probably wouldn't be me already. I think Anista-Golem is like a watchdog or something for whatever-the-fuck eldritch doodad the first. SP: A lot of that is gonna be speculation; I don't know much about the big guy. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:14 PM FO: yeeahh...(edited) FO: yeah you need out of there dude FO: and you need out of there in a way that they wont notice FO: so i can see why the death thing is a thing FO: i wish id known about this while you were still seery, then i coulda asked some questions an gotten pokey about a lotta fuckin FO: theres a lotta unknowns here and a lotta things that Could branch how this goes If they are true FO: ... shit is p whack, friend.  anythin i can do to help i will Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:18 PM SP: Thanks, Terrible. I really do appreciate it. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:22 PM FO: this one time my life sucked total ass, and someone was nice to me at exactly the right time.  and i decided that maybe being nice to people wasnt stupid, and that it was nice that there were people like that around.  so i decided to be someone like that. FO: this shit is exactly why. Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:23 PM SP: It's a good attitude, in my opinion. I prefer to help people when I can. SP: Before I go on about my plan to get out of here, there's a bit more to this yet, of the things I know. SP: One of the reasons I trust my death-note-suggestion from the future-past is because, like I said, I almost got wiped. SP: If I hadn't been all godly when it happened, it might've worked. Probably would have. SP: Anyway SP: I was getting erased, or blocked, or something (gross and weird) because I was messing with a mind wall (maybe?) and I got caught. SP: So maybe I need to disconnect from whatever I'm tethered to. SP: It's what I'm guessing, anyway. I'd prefer not to do the dying thing, obviously. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:24 PM FO: B( FO: yeah, obvs. FO: im guessin you respawned once, but also dont remember parts of the anon? FO: is there other stuff that feels not solid? FO: the healer chick would need a small piece a you but hair or blood would probably do it, and she could rez you from a distance on command after that.  shed just need to know when Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:41 PM SP: Most of the not-solid is from my memories. I don't remember a lot of stuff, it seems. Other stuff has to do with Anista and the generator. SP: Oh wait. SP: The generator. That's an okay idea. In tandem, not separately. SP: I'd need to put Anista out of commission for a bit though. Hm. SP: Can you tell me a little about the healer lady? I trust you, but I've never spoken to her I don't think. Is she a God Tier as well? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:43 PM FO: yeah.  shes a meenah, Meenah Peixes FO: long story short she lives in sparks's universe, and she's kinda low key and staying out of the spotlight.  does a lotta bakin, some healin for pay. FO: shes kinda mercenary but i think she cares about dudes once they catch her interest, which most dont FO: the universe shes in has legal limes, crimsons, and wings, and no caste system, so theres no problems on the mutant front FO: i could vouch to be there and supervise 100% of the rez process if you trust me enough for that an itd help any Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:00 PM SP: I don't know if that will help any, but I appreciate the offer and I'll keep it in mind. SP: I considered whether or not, as a Prince of Mind, you'd be able to bust shit up so I could skip the not-being-alive part, but that seems less likely to work and more likely to get you smooshed by the eldritch fucko. SP: Besides this stuff, I'm trying to convince a pal of mine to go off-world with me before they fuck up and start a sgrub session. SP: None of my timeframes are defined, so it all feels kinda like it has to be done immediately. Am I gonna get wiped? Is my friend gonna blow up this Alternia? I don't know what's happening first. SP: I think I'm rambling now, sorry. SP: More useful thing, practical type. Do you know the charging rates on resurrection? SP: Which is a funny sentence, by the way. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:04 PM FO: fightin an eldritch fucko would be a heck of a fight, but its one id give a go.  ive done it before, ive pulled that kinda shit outta dudes heads.  theres a big variance on how big an individual eldritch fucko happens to be though, so its a thing to take super fuckin seriously before blunderin straight into FO: if anybody could cut a mind connection, id probably be able to though FO: ramblin makes sense, and bein in a hurry makes sense too.  why is your friend on the verge of startin a sgrub session?  do they like, know not to? -- flippinOptimist began sending file : meenahsfliersarefuckinweird.pdf --  (( a 2-page document, where the first is a classy menu for baked goods with a catering section at the bottom, and the second is a matching menu for healing by injury type with a 'special requests on case by case basis' section at the bottom.  It lists reviving as a special request. )) FO: i think she bases it partly on what a dude can scrape together, but idk FO: theres a chance sparks might be willin to help (or meddle) for free, but hes got an M!A rn thats fuckin up his ability to do things Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:17 PM [ sanessPsuede downloaded meenahsfliersarefuckinweird.pdf ] SP: Oh hey, great, thanks. SP: I don't know how close she is to starting one, because she's not answering any of my messages. SP: I'll probably have to hunt her down in person. I figure she can't start a game if I get her out of the zone for a bit. SP: Maybe delay the inevitable. SP: Fex is a cool dude. You and he have some stuff in common there. SP: I haven't been able to tell my friend not to yet, obviously. I don't think she took it seriously when I told her about it before. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:23 PM FO: good luck delayin it, an talkin your friend outta it FO: sgrub is somethin you can make the best outta, f you get stuck in it, but uh FO: a lot of it sucks real bad Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:27 PM SP: It's probably more efficient SP: to see if dying works SP: rather than engaging in a risky conflict unprepared SP: Side note! SP: Thoughts on how to break a mental connection to a thing that is not a person? SP: Like the Anista puppet or a wall. SP: If there's not a mind, can there even be a link? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:41 PM FO: efficient isnt really a good word when somebodys life is on the line, and id still risk it.  its more about whats most likely to work i think. FO: i think worrying about whether or not something is a person is more of a soul / heart thing FO: if it has a mind, thats close enough FO: theres plenty of bugs that are too simple for me to be able to get a read on FO: and a couple a computer programs that are almost something enough, that i cant quite reach FO: but i peeked at her and saw that she existed and that there was stuff, if i was careful enough i might be able to unplug somethin FO: i think info processing and the ability to choose between outcomes is the big thing.  ideally in some kind of.. complex..ish way, naut just a simple if statement Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:07 PM SP: What about a literal wall? Something completely mindless. Could something eldritch-y make a connection to it? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:11 PM FO: never seen one!  one way to find out though B) Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:22 PM SP: :D SP: Okay, I'm gonna see about getting in touch with Meenah. No point waiting around. SP: It's efficient, and probably more effective. SP: I'm not inclined to gamble with more than my own neck if I can avoid it. SP: Risk to result ratio says dying is the way to live SP: while causing the least amount of harm, probably flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:25 PM FO: if youre sure dude FO: for what its worth, if you go into a death knowin its comin and bein okay w knowin youre (probably) comin out the other side, its naut as aaaaaaaaAAAAa as it is when its a surprise and also a big upsetting disruption FO: its still kinda A Fuckin Thing, but FO: its possible to get over it, more n most ways of death comin by Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:29 PM SP: Okay, I'm not really sure, but the alternative worries me a lot and putting other people at risk jangles my moral compass pretty hard flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:30 PM FO: man, if you ever godtier, you're definitely gonna run into problems w the heroic thing Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:35 PM SP: Just means I'd be a normal dude with super powers. One life, one death. Seems fair. SP: And sucky. SP: No thank you, Sgrub. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:43 PM FO: yeah, p much.

[theday]

ALSO!! ALL!! (you can skip '''brian''' if you want hsksjskssm)

we’re in for a long ride boys..... under read more im ready

Wonpil: How would you describe your personality?

i wanna just say pass but we die like men so. im pretty dang sure i have 2 personalities one for online stuff and one when im doing irl shit but lately ive been trying 2 be consistent anyway not 2 toot my own horn but im fairly nice i feel like? i send nice asks because it makes me happy seeing the responder’s answer and i try to give comments on art/fics whenever i can in tags or in the comment section so id say im fairly nice. online its easier to say i love you every second and the love is real obviously so i would say im also a big friend lover?? however ! negative time boys.. im also generally rude which is something that defines me really i used to be really sarcastic on purpose too which has somehow disappeared over the years but whatever i can be mean and i will be mean and i kind of hate that so i wanna try to stop going out of my way to be mean to people who .. well I MEAN this person is kinda asking for it their behaviour is .. disgusting so.... not that its okay to be mean on purpose though but idk man im just shady to people i dont like thats who i am unfortunately yike.. . but i will never try to be extremely mean/rude to my friends and even if i am i will make sure its in a joking manner although i do tend to get carried away so my mouth/hands move quicker than my brain and if i do make any of my pals uncomfortable please tell me so i can corrwct my ways and this got long wtf abyway 2 sum it UP i am a nice but rude person lmao also i try 2 b funny sometimes but.. .. .. 

Young K: you prefer sexy or cute concepts?

im gonna answer this anyway lol day6 dont know a sexy

Sungjin: are you more of a childish friend or a mom friend?

i try 2 b the mum friend but only with bell lmao ok actually... im always asking my pals 2 go the FUCk to bed so maybe i am the mum friend... .. 

Dowoon: Do you get shy easily?

ya with strangers who are most definitely 2 cool 4 me but when i warm up 2 the people im really wild lmao i was attacking jen like 3 seconds into our friendship the duality of megan 

Jae: Do you wear glasses?

my middle name is glasses ive had to wear them since i was 6 bc i watched too much pokemon while sitting way 2 close to the screen im p sure im gonna go blind soon

Congratulations: When was your last relationship?

i didnt even have 1 lmao 

Letting Go: Who is someone you miss very much right now?

monsta x :-( theyre grandpas so they dont use twitter as much as our children astro

I Wait: Favorite genre of music?

i dont have a favorite since i can listen to anything and find it nice lol but I really really really like day6′s music so much because i have a preference for bands and day6 make such amazing songs wtf i wait just started playing so my favorite genre? day6

You Were Beautiful: Tag your fave mutual!

if this blog was still just u and me falen youd be tagged but now i have 5 mutuals and i love all of them so im gonna have to pass

I’m Serious: Vacation on the beach or vacation by the mountains?

by the mountains? i cant even live by myself in a house id die if i went anywhere near that rocky and unstable so beach please

Dance Dance: do you know any choreographies by heart?

bits and pieces of certain songs only ive had the i need u choreo by bts (the chorus part) stuck in my mind lately bc bin sanha and mj danced to it in that one video its the best bts song ive ever heard 10/10 idk a dna (i dont even stan bts)

My Day: How long have you been a Day6 stan?

since 25/06/17 i thank boxy everyday of my life for this honestly without her i wouldve never found so many amazing people both my mutuals and the groups i now stan

EveryDay6: Fave Day6 song?

pass but bc they just released their oct tracks so id have to be when you love someone but i need somebody is cutting it real close i cant just have (1) favorite song when all their songs are so different it makes me wanna love all of them

Pink sweater: Describe the worse outfit you’ve ever worn

godt.................. so i was a big power rangers fan back in the day and i really loved the yellow ranger from the dinosaur power rangers idk the name but anyway the person wore this like.. pants? and a skirt over it ?? which makes 0 sense now bc it was jeans and a fucking ballerina skirt shit and i hate skirts but i still fucking copied her outfit bc im gay for that yellow ranger and i cant believe i went out in public wearing a skirt over jeans??? wtf was i smoking so. never again

Chicken Little: What fictional character can you relate most to?

oh bOY? i dont know man? it changes every time i get into a new thing but i feel like theres no character ive actually related to yet? ive only had favourite characters so far

Bob: What’s a nickname your friends/family call you?

my family idk man but my friends can call me whatever they want im cool

Are you a bear: What’s the weirdest question you’ve ever gotten?

my memory is so bad i dont remember anything??? um    m idk fam

Terry He: How long is/was your longest friendship?

with an internet friend it was like 5 years? i cut ties with her though thankfully and with irl buds 4 years bc u knw sch.. i doubt we’ll hang out again depending on our results rip

ASC: YoungFeel or JaehyungParkIan?

i breathe jaehyungparkian 

thank you sosoosososos much for asking falen wt f i love you my soulmate.. no lie tho the question i was looking forward to the most was the last one 

[eternalfrowning]

Hheyyy....so......yeah I kinda disappeared for 2 months haha. And I’m posting this summary....the 21st ahh..:’’) but it was important for me to post it.

This is my 200th post, and this blog is now a little bit more than 2 years old, and you’re now more than 5000 to follow it.....!!!!??(..SINCE...WHEN?????)(....I’m..sweating.sm)

I’m not very good with words, but. I just wanted to say thank you, for being so kind to me, for your silent support, or just for taking a look at my drawings..!!

((more nervous-talking + ANSWERING ASKS UNDER THE CUT !!))

This year has been a bit......i don’t even know what happened lol, but what I know is that I don’t want to feel like this for this whole new year again.

I’m planning on posting more often. Bc I miss it. (like, at least.. one thing / month..! ;___;) (..posting still makes me incredibly nervous, but it will probably always be like this haha)

I don’t know what is this 2016 summmary exactly, if I make any progress or something... Even if i want to improve this year, i will not put too much pressure on my mind, and I will just draw more often than these past few months.

Now time to reply ! I’m sorry for being so late. :(

Thank you !! ..i’m flattered. ;//;

Thank you so much! You’re too nice...!! <3

Hoho..thanks.. (i often use my hands as ref...)

hohoh oho ho

....!!! !!!  thank you !! i’m so happy that you think so and ahhh*blushes*

!!!! i’m so happy to read this! i hope you’re feeling good today, and that you’re having fun!!!

Let’s draw ! (●´∀｀●)

My heart has exploded

(it did make me happy. You’re.. I.. love you. ;;)

I hope you’re still checking from time to time this tumblr. (again, i’m so sorry for the time it takes me to answer your messages .. ) (i hope you still remember me ahh ;;;)

I hope you will see that i read your message, and that i’m so grateful, and. I want to hug you. And i hope you will still be there in the future, taking a look at my drawings when you feel like it, maybe noticing some changes, maybe some improvements. I hope i will not disappoint. Thank you for your support. ;__;

I will try to post more. and if i don’t, then it will mean that i just don’t have enough strenght yet. Uni takes a lot of time (i barely had time to draw these previous months x((), and a lot of energy, and, i still feel very. mh. idk. But i want to be more optimistic !

thank you again..you’re too kind..;;;;*evaporates*

;;ooooo;;; i’m.. wah.. thank you ;;;

 i’m.. not sure of how i can answer you, i’m so bad at explaining things *sobs* (or just about understanding how i work. it’s probably the problem aha)

my way of painting is very.. “???” i think i need to make my brain believe that i have no idea of what i’m doing. i need this sort of ‘freedom’, that’s why i began to paint when things are still not very defined. (and then i regret, but for now its the only way that works)

like, here what my Minami painting looked like when i began to paint (well i already began to paint on this pic, but it’s the most ‘early-stage’ thing left in my file). so much things are wrong in this lol, but i thought : “bweh, i will find a way to correct all these stuffs.” (look at these sexy bear hands holy shit)(MYHANDSARENOTTHATBIG) (....i didn’t managed to correct all these stuffs aha)

and here’s Roma :’)

when i began to paint, i look at this mess, and think : well time to sculpt, to cover, to cut in all this mass-colored-thing. ( so i pick the dark color of the armpit to shade for example, etc etc *)

....so “shapes” makes sense yeah :^o !

and, i’m still thinking of my drawings (while at the same time thinking about ‘’‘sculpting’’’) as a flat-thing too. it is. and i like to play with it ; i like to balance the painting with very very detailed things (hands, shirts, hair, or ears, etc, or also blending some things, to be more ‘‘‘‘delicate/soft’‘‘‘‘.) and at the same time, boum, here’s a color-block-thing on the shoudler. or anywhere else. bc i like it too.

(...also sometimes it’s because i have no idea how to draw it differently and i’m like : well fk you now you’re a triangle.)

but, yes! yes i think of shapes. drawings are shapes, big and tiny little ones.

lol i don’t know

and, also, i like to keep some parts of the ‘draft’, of the ‘mass-colored-thing’, bc sometimes the best things are on the draft and even if i spend hours on something it actually make the drawing worse. like for examples Roma’s chest-rib-cage, or Minami’s arms, i choose to leave them the same; i kinda liked what the ‘colored-draft’ looked like, like happy accidents.. now that i think of it, i wrote in the caption for them ‘unfinished painting’, but tbh they probably are finished. maybe i couldn’t paint more, and they needed to have this unfinished aspect in some part of the drawing

but i think it’s a question of composition/balance, preferences, and me being lazy-and-obssessive at the same time. (and trusting the guts.) kind of.

and with time, the way of painting will change, with experience, and by provoking other happy accidents, and testing other stuffs.

i talked too much and...it..doesn’t make any sense and doesn’t answer your question, doesn’t it.

I thought about, maybe, doing a sort of speedpaint but..i don’t think it would be interesting because it’s so.. well, you know. messy and it changes so much during the painting process and ah

sobs

i stop here haha, i wrote a lot, i’m sorry ;_; !

HAVE A NICE DAY EVERYONE ! (´,,•ω•,,) <3 <3