#idk this will probably flop but w/e

[nereidprinc3ss]

do you believe me now? | 4

in which spencer reid and inexperienced fem!reader are interrupted at the most inopportune of times. he calls you on the first night of his case. dirty talk turns into a hard conversation. we get a glimpse into spencer's past, and we finally learn why he's so hesitant to sleep with you.

series masterlist

18+ (smut) warnings/tags: dirty talk, phone sex/mutual masturbation, softdom!spence, obligatory he talks u through it, lots of graphic discussions of sex, established relationship, angst (sorrryyy!) a/n: so remember how i said you'd need the bonus chapter to fully appreciate/understand this part? i was wrong!! it will come in handy probably in the next part tho:) also idk how these parts keep getting so long im sorry! anyway, i love you all so bad. thank you for bearing w/ my craziness. PLEASE let me know your thoughts on this part!! i adore hearing from you!! kisses

(also special thank you to @fliesforeyes who convinced me phone sex w/ spence could be done!! i will link his phone sex blurb here :)) thank u binx!!

“Three million six hundred eighty four thousand three hundred thirty two times fourteen million seven hundred sixty one thousand nine hundred seventy one.”

You’ve lost count of how many stupid math questions you’ve asked your human calculator boyfriend, just to see if he can actually do them. Spencer is silent for a second, and you think you’ve finally stumped him. 

“That one is complicated.”

You sit bolt upright in his bed, looking down at him and pointing an accusatory finger. His brows raise at the manic look in your eye. 

“You don’t know.”

“I do know. I meant it would be hard to explain if you aren’t a math person.”

“Bullshit!” You scoff, “you don’t know!”

“It would display on a calculator as five-point-three-eight-eight-E-thirteen. It’s a really big number.”

“Oh, really big, huh?” you mumble, searching for your phone blindly in the sheets and scrambling to open the calculator app. “Um… what numbers did I say?”

Spencer repeats them back to you and you press the equals sign. 

You look at it. 

And then you set your phone down. 

“I was right, huh?” he smiles up at you, probably reveling in your pouty wrongness. 

Too proud to admit it, you collapse on top of him, burying your face in his shoulder. 

“I don’t like this game anymore. What the fuck even is an e? Why are we doing algebra?”

Spencer laughs, brushing your hair aside. 

“The e stands for exponent. It’s to the power of ten.”

“Ever heard of a rhetorical question?”

“Yes, I have.”

It’s hard not to snort even at his dumbest jokes. 

“You’re annoying. Let’s do something else.”

You roll over onto your back again, letting your head flop over to look at Spencer, whose hair is exactly the right amount of messy after a long day, falling in impossibly soft waves over the perfect lines and contours of his face. Despite lounging, he’s still in his suit from work—he’d left Quantico and immediately picked you up. There were no solid plans for the evening, so after both of you pretended that you wanted to go out for a while, you ended up back at his apartment. 

He looks good. Almost too good. 

“Something like what?” he smiles lazily, reaching over and tracing his fingers over your cheek. 

“Something… naked?”

His grin widens and he shakes his head. 

“Me naked or you naked?”

Pretending to think about it, you roll your bottom lip between your teeth. 

“Mm… why not both?”

“Hm. Why do I feel like I know where this is going?”

The mattress sinks underneath your elbow as you prop yourself up, dropping your head over Spencer’s to kiss him. 

“Because you’re so smart, and you think it’s a great idea.”

He entertains your kiss for a moment. Just a moment.

“You sound sure of yourself.”

“Because I am!” You finally give in to your impulses, tangling your fingers in his hair and looking at him meaningfully. “It doesn’t make any sense for us to have not had sex. I don’t care about any of your weird, cryptic moral reasoning.”

He grabs your wrist carefully. 

“It is not moral,” he scoffs. “We haven’t even talked about it yet.”

“Really? Because I feel like we’ve talked about it a lot.” 

He begins to reply, but you realize you don’t want to get into a debate over whether you’ve technically talked about it yet. “I don’t even care! If that’s all that’s standing in your way, then let’s talk about it. Right now.”

Spencer sighs, his eyes darting between yours as he reaches up to cradle your cheek. 

“Fine. But I have things to say you’re not going to like.”

“So business as usual?”

He rolls his eyes. You allow yourself a tiny self-satisfied smirk, forever relishing in his poorly-hidden soft spot for your constant teasing. Spencer ignores this. Which is probably for the best. 

“I know you probably won’t see it this way, but—sex is different than everything else we’ve done so far. It can be really fun, obviously it feels good, it facilitates deeper feelings of connection—that’s all true. Which is why, in my opinion, it’s incredibly important that you be selective with who you sleep with. Because it’s so easy to do something you regret, and sex is vulnerable. It should always be with someone you trust and—and… care about.”

A pink flush stains his cheeks like watercolor as he stumbles over the last few words. It makes your heart flutter against the confines of your chest.

Maybe best not to think about the absence versus presence of certain four-letter words and what they may or may not mean. You’ll move on to more pressing matters and pretend like it doesn’t ache just a little in your whole body. 

You cover his hand with your own. 

“Are you going to break up with me anytime soon?”

Spencer’s eyes widen, filling with genuine horror and confusion. 

“What? No!”

“Are you going to cheat on me?”

“Absolutely not, I—”

“Then I’m not going to regret it. Issue resolved. Moving on.”

“Honey, I just want you to be 100% sure that I’m what you want.”

“Oh my god,” you groan, flopping onto your back once more. “I have begged you to sleep with me on multiple occasions. We have been dating for months and I liked you even longer before that. I think about it literally every time I see you. I don’t know how to be any surer.”

It’s quiet for a moment as you study the imaginary pattern on the ceiling. The rebuttal you’d been anticipating doesn’t come—instead, the mattress shifts next to you. Spencer enters your field of vision, now leaning over you with a little smile on his face that gives you butterflies. 

“Every time?”

“…yes, every time,” you agree, voice considerably thinner than it had been a moment ago. Spencer glances at your lips as he speaks. 

“Interesting. And what is it that you think about exactly?”

You groan again, attempting to roll facedown, but he pins your shoulder to the bed. The way he’s sweetly kissing down your cheek and jaw is infuriating because you know it’s a false pretense. 

“Ugh, I don’t know! Don’t make me answer that!”

“You said if talking about it was all that was standing in my way, we would talk about it. Now I want to talk about it. Come on,” he says, voice low and cloying against your throat as he attempts to tease the answer out of you. “Tell me what you think about when you think about us having sex.”

You let out a shaky breath at the feeling of his lips skimming your neck, hating how easily he can reduce you to this. 

“I… I always wonder what it will feel like. Sometimes I wonder if it will hurt.”

Spencer sighs, interrogation by way of seduction momentarily forgotten. You silently curse yourself for saying something so un-sexy. 

“It might, sweetheart. That’s one of the reasons we’ve held back. I… really don’t want to hurt you. I don’t even know if I can.”

You grab his face in both hands, forcing him to look at you with more confidence than you feel. 

“Sometimes I worry about it, too. But I like you a lot more than it scares me. I still want to.”

He kisses your palm. 

“You’ll be okay. It doesn’t hurt for everyone, and even if it does, you’re resilient.”

“Exactly. So you have to get over yourself.”

Spencer laughs like he wasn’t expecting to, eyes sparkling as he regards you.  

“Yeah. Yeah, maybe I do.”

He’s smiling again as he leans down and kisses you—a slow, lingering thing which tastes like spearmint as you part your lips for him. 

“Please?” you whisper against him after a long moment. He hums, keeps kissing you. 

“What is it that you think you want? You don’t even know what you’re asking for.”

“Tell me,” you beg, chasing his lips. “Tell me what you’re going to do with me. We can talk about it. This is talking about it.”

Spencer exhales deeply, wedging a thigh between yours. Immediately you clamp around it, trying not to grind against him too overtly. 

“You want to know what I’d do to you?”

“Yes—” you paw at his jacket. Surprisingly, he doesn’t stop you from pushing it off. Your heart pounds. 

“Well… we both know how anxious you get,” he muses, pressing his lips so delicately to your fluttering pulse-point in emphasis, and then back to your mouth. His thigh pushes harder against you to supplant the absence of his lips as he speaks, though he kisses you sporadically and between sentences. “You’re hard to get out of your head when you’re nervous, you know that? I watch it happen. One minute you’re with me, and then you start overthinking, and getting self-conscious. The only thing that seems to relax you is letting me touch you—so first I would touch you like I’ve touched you before. I’d make sure you know how pretty you are and how good you deserve to feel.” You whimper inadvertently at his words, arching into him and grinding against his leg as he pauses to kiss the sensitive soft spot below your jaw. “You’re going to need to be really ready to let me in. Do you know what I mean by that?”

As he asks, he pushes his thigh against you harder. Your body responds immediately, arching into him and seeking more friction. When you squeak, he takes it as a no. 

“I mean I need you relaxed and wet. You’ll excuse my crude language.”

You pull at his tie, breathing heavier now and so turned on it’s almost painful. 

“What are you gonna do after that?”

“What else is there to do but fuck you after that?” he breathes. “You want me to tell you how I’d fuck you?”

Something about it makes you whine salaciously. You’ve heard him curse—you’ve even heard him talk about fucking you. But it feels more real now; when it’s low in your ear and you’re covertly undressing him and he’s pushing your shirt over your stomach promisingly. 

“Yes, please.” 

He hums against your jaw, nipping and brushing his lips over the skin as he considers. Leaves you waiting. 

“I would have to take my time with you. You’ll be overwhelmed. I know you think you won’t, but you will. I’m going to have to be so, so careful with you, angel. It’s going to drive me insane. But it will feel good for you.”

“Why careful? I don’t want that.”

He chuckles. A chill runs down your spine. 

“Yeah, you do. You’re going to want me to be careful when I’m—” he pauses, pressing his thumb to your bare lower tummy and dragging up to a spot below your belly button. He presses down lightly again. “Right here. Approximately.”

The surface of the sun has nothing on the temperature of your skin in this moment, as you writhe underneath him in both arousal and embarrassment. Mostly, burning need. You feel almost sick with it. 

“Please don’t make me wait anymore. Just do it, please, Spencer. I need it to be you, I don’t want it to be anyone else. I promise I’m ready.”

It’s silent for a moment. Your heart quickens. You sense his walls wearing away, his instinct to keep you intact for god knows what reason crumbling. He’s finally going to give you what you’ve been begging for. 

Spencer opens his mouth, eyes glimmering—

And then his phone rings. 

You both freeze—he melts dejectedly before you do, more accustomed to an ill-timed phone call and realizing the finality it can present. 

He’s breathing heavily against your neck, as if maybe whoever it is will just hang up. But the phone keeps ringing. 

“I’m sorry.”

Your stomach sinks as he sits up, grabbing his phone from the side table and rubbing circles on your inner thigh as he answers.

“This is Reid,” he says, lackluster. 

If you wanted, you could hear what Penelope is saying—but you don’t bother listening. It’s going to be a case. Spencer is about to leave. The details are his problem. 

“Okay. I’ll be there in an hour.”

He hangs up, tossing the phone onto the mattress and not speaking for a moment, just continuing to rub your leg apologetically. Watching you almost mournfully—taking in your disheveled hair, your likely blown-out pupils, the shirt pushed almost over your chest. 

“I have to go right now,” he finally manages with a heavy sigh, gently pulling your shirt back into place. 

You sit up, shedding all the hopes that had been building for the evening, and try to sound chipper—though all you feel is bitter disappointment that goes deeper than you understand. 

“I know. Go ahead, I can get a cab home.”

He frowns, running his hand over the back of your hair. 

“I don’t love the idea of you standing on the sidewalk waiting for a car in this part of town so late. Do you just want to stay here for the night and go home tomorrow?”

You force a smile. Great. So you’ll be spending the night in his bed after all—just without him. 

“Sure. Thanks.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of you are feeling particularly grateful. 

Soon you’re walking him to his own door. Both of you come to a stop in front. 

“I’m sorry,” he sighs again. 

“Spencer, it’s fine. It’s your job. You don’t need to apologize. You were very clear about this part when we started dating.”

“I know, but… it’s easier in theory than in practice.”

You smile. If Spencer is a reflection of you, it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. His hair is still messy from your fingers running through it and he’s missing his tie. You hope all his coworkers see and feel bad about taking him away from you. 

But it’s not their fault. You just want someone to blame. 

Instead you mould yourself to his body, wrapping around him like you belong there. He returns your embrace, pressing his lips into the crook of your shoulder and rubbing your back in that way he always does with you. 

In that moment, your affection for him becomes so profound it’s like a chemical reaction—everywhere he touches burns and you love him so fucking much it aches in every inch of your body the way your muscles do when you have a bad fever. Love is the most terrible of afflictions, you realize. It is a fever dream. It’s every fiber of your being screaming to tell him how you feel, to beg him on your knees not to go because you love him like a child loves a parent or a bee loves honeysuckle or the ocean loves the horizon. Pared down to your most basic components, the barest version of yourself, you require him. Your soul needs his soul. 

“Spencer?”

“Hm?” 

It’s nothing more than an absentminded hum against your skin. 

“I…”

Should you be looking him in the eye when you say this? Should you say it right before he has to leave? Just because you say it doesn’t change the fact that he’s about to be gone for several long days. Maybe this is a terrible time to admit something that suddenly feels so true and so consequential. 

He senses your internal conflict, pulling back despite your resistance and holding your face between his hands. 

“You what?” He murmurs, soft eyes bouncing back and forth between your own. Fuck—you feel so observed, now. Like he can read your mind. 

“I forget.”

FUUUUUUCK. 

Spencer blinks. Processes. You watch the disbelief crystallizing over his eyes like ice freezing over a lake. 

He knows. 

He knows you didn’t forget, and he probably knows what you were going to say, and he’s going to tell himself he was wrong to spare your dignity. 

Everything hurts when he kisses you. You wonder what regret tastes like. 

“Well, let me know if you remember.”

It’s too gentle and at the same time he can’t hide the edge with all the tenderness in the world. You nod as if in a trance, already looking forward to dissociating as you lie in bed and stare at the dark ceiling.

Two small goodbyes are exchanged, slightly stifled now, as if shared between drunk strangers who have sobered up and are mutually embarrassed about how candidly they’d interacted before. 

You close the door behind him, doing up all the locks, and meticulously flick every light switch in the apartment off before climbing into his bed—though you don’t really feel like you deserve to be there anymore.

But perhaps this is all an overreaction. It’s not like you owe it to him to say I love you, or anything—it was bad timing, anyway. And why can’t he say it? In fact, why hasn’t he said it? 

Maybe you have it all wrong. 

Maybe he doesn’t feel that way about you. 

You fall asleep before you allow these questions to make you sick. 

24 hours go by. 

24 hours go by and you really had meant to leave his apartment—it was just that you woke up late, and your phone was dead so you couldn’t call a car, so you charged it while you made breakfast, and then you ate, and then you decided to take a shower and wash your clothes, and then it was two in the afternoon and you hadn’t left yet and you decided to walk to the store and replenish the groceries you’d used up. 

Maybe you got a bit distracted looking at flowers and other beautiful things at the market and by the time you got home it was 5:00, so you decided to wait until seven to skip rush hour. And then eight, just to be sure. 

Before you know it, it’s midnight, and you’re dozing off in his bed again (teeth cleaned with the brush you’d bought at the store—maybe this whole situation hadn’t been entirely unwitting on your part.)

Throughout the day, you tried to let all your anxiety about the previous night melt away. If it’s something that needs to be addressed, Spencer will address it. Everything will work out in the end. That thought is how you’re able to doze off. 

You’re almost asleep when your phone lights up and begins buzzing on the side table. You wince as your eyes open, not adjusting well to the harsh bright display and unable to discern who’s even calling you at this hour. Stupidly, probably because you’re half asleep, you answer without checking. 

“Hello?”

Your voice is groggy, quiet with sleep. 

“Shit, did I wake you?”

“Spence?” you whisper, stomach flipping at the sound of his voice on the other line. You feel caught, still sleeping in his bed. 

“… yeah,” he chuckles. “Did you not check who was calling before you picked up?”

“I was asleep,” you pout. “Kinda.”

“Okay. Go back to sleep, honey. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

You sit bolt upright, phone balanced between tense fingers and speaking directly into the microphone. 

“No! No, I’m awake. What’s up? Why did you call?”

A longer stretch of silence—you’re too sleepy to comprehend what it might mean, though never too sleepy to worry about it. With a pang of pain, you recall your strange goodbye, the words you hadn’t said. 

“I just needed to hear your voice,” he sighs. You frown, staring at nothing in particular in the pitch black room. 

“Oh. Is everything okay?”

“As much as it can be.”

“Right.”

More quiet. You chew on the inside of your cheek, stricken with a sudden feeling of awkwardness that you haven’t had with Spencer in a while. 

“I’m sorry… I don’t really know what to say.”

“That’s okay,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice which makes you feel a bit better, “why don’t you tell me about your day? Or you can absolutely go back to sleep, if you’re too tired.”

“Don’t ask me about my day,” you whisper, flopping down on the bed once more. Shame seeps into your voice. He laughs. 

“What? Why?”

“Because if I tell you you’re going to think I’m super weird and you’re going to break up with me.”

Laughter tapers off into gentler tones. 

“I already think you’re super weird. It’s actually one of your most attractive qualities.”

Blood rushes to your cheeks. 

“But it’s like… borderline crazy.”

Immediately, he replies, “for better or worse, I also frequently find myself attracted to crazy.”

“Thank you for calling me crazy and super weird,” you grumble. 

“I also called you attractive twice. Tell me.”

When his tone takes on that easy, assertive quality, and it’s sort of raspy and low because it’s late and he’s been talking all day, and you can hear the lazy smile on his face—you imagine him laying on his hotel bed, arm slung over his eyes in the dark as he grins into the microphone—you have a very difficult time saying no. 

“Fine. Guess where I am right now.”

“Um, I would hope you’re in bed?”

You smile to yourself, basking in the victory of successfully throwing him off his game even slightly. 

“Guess whose bed.”

Silence. 

“What an interesting question.” That cocky smile, the low drawling is back, and you chew on your lip, ignoring the shiver that runs down your spine. “If it’s not mine or yours, we’re going to have issues.”

“But if it is yours? You’re not going to call the police on me?”

“Why would I call the police? To tell them there’s a pretty girl in my bed and I don’t want her there?”

“To tell them your psychopathic girlfriend broke into your apartment and might be holding hostages��there.”

Spencer laughs; a brittle, drawn out thing, flat and quiet as the desert.

“If you were a psychopath, calling the cops would be a waste of time. I would handle you myself.” The idea of being handled has your thighs clenching. “But—yeah, don’t invite anyone else in.” More humor finds its way into his voice, momentarily relieving some tension that had sneakily begun to build. “Having people in my space makes me anxious.”

“But not me?” Your whisper is half flirtatious, half insecure. Spencer’s reply is soft, as if he’s picking up on this from hundreds of miles away.

“No, not you. You are always the exception.”

“Good,” you say, cheeks aching as you half-bury your warm face into his pillow. “Because I made myself really comfortable. You have a nice shower, by the way.”

Spencer groans. 

“You’re killing me.”

“What? What did I do!”

“Don’t talk to me about my bed and my shower. I might start to think you’re intentionally being a brat.”

“You asked me about my day! I’m just telling you what I did!”

But you’re also intentional teasing him for sure.  After a pause, he sighs in defeat. 

“You’re right. I did do that. Tell me what else happened.”

“Well,” you begin, all too eager, “I had to put my clothes in the dryer after I got out, so I borrowed some of yours. But then they were way comfier than mine, so after I went to the store I put them back on, and—”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?” you frown. 

“Tell me what this is.”

“I—I don’t know what you mean.”

Lying to a profiler is usually pointless. 

“I’m not stupid, sweetheart. Tell me why you keep talking about my shower and my bed and my clothes.”

Caught red-handed. Your skin heats up. 

“I don’t know. I miss you.”

He hums in a way that blurs the line between sympathetic and patronizing. Even through the phone you can feel the bass of it in your bones.  It changes the frequency you’re vibrating at. It’s hypnotic. 

“But that’s not really why you’re being intentionally provocative, is it?”

“No,” you admit quietly. “I’m still upset you had to go last night.”

“So you’re frustrated and you’re taking it out on me?”

Your brow furrows. Well, when he puts it like that…

“I’m not taking anything out on you.”

“I think you are. And I don’t appreciate that, because I’m on your side, honey. Do you think I prefer being in a hotel bed by myself or being in my bed with you?”

Somehow, he makes you feel like a scolded child. But he makes it appealing in ways you don’t understand. 

“Your bed with me,” you murmur, skin prickling with the coldness of his absence even as you curl under the blanket. 

“Right. So why don’t you tell me what I can do for you right now, instead of punishing me for things that are beyond my control?”

“I wasn’t punishing you,” you mutter. 

“No? You weren’t intentionally talking about using my shower and sleeping in my bed and putting on my clothes so that I’d have to think about what I can’t have right now?”

“I—”

“Believe me when I tell you I have been thinking about what I can’t have, all day. Your efforts are entirely redundant and you can’t say anything about yourself that is even close to as dirty as the frankly disrespectful thoughts I’ve been having about you for seventeen hours.”

The lack of air is making you so dizzy your vision goes gray at the edges. 

“What… what thoughts?”

“None that you need to concern yourself with.”

“You can’t just say something like that and then not tell me!” you insist. He’s obviously giving you a taste of your own medicine and it’s fair but it doesn’t mean you have to like it. 

“I can do whatever I want,” Spencer corrects cooly in a way that pisses you off beyond belief because he’s right. It triggers some adolescent immaturity within you—a desire to get back at him, so to speak. He wants intentionally provocative? He can have it. 

“Fine. Then so can I. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it even if I could.”

“Spencer,” you warn. “If you don’t tell me what you were thinking I’m gonna—” you look around the room for ammo. “I’m gonna look through your nightstand!”

“Go ahead. I’ll warn you, it’s not very interesting.”

“Sounds like what someone who has something hide would say,” you mumble, crawling across the mattress through tangled sheets and using your phone flashlight to open the drawer. 

Spencer is patient and silent as you take in its contents—a small blue leather-bound notebook (full of what looks like Russian), a fountain pen, a glasses case, various kinds of vitamins, and—

“Spencer Reid,” you say, dragging out his name and pretending nothing is fluttering in your stomach, “what are these?”

“I don’t know. I can’t see what you’re referring to.”

“Take a wild guess.”

“Oh, I have one. But I’d like to hear you say it.”

You realize you may have gotten yourself in deeper than you meant to by going through his stuff. Well—they don’t say karma is a bitch for nothing. 

“What are you doing with a box of condoms?” 

He chuckles and you feel it in your whole body, warm as you stretch across his mattress and eye the box like it might jump out at you. 

“Those are years old. I’ve used three since I bought them.”

“Don’t tell me that,” you whine. “I don’t wanna think about all the other women you’ve seduced.”

“You wanted them to be for you, huh?” 

You flush. Honestly you hadn’t even thought about that. 

“I… I don’t know. I kind of just assumed…”

It’s silent for a second and you frown, realizing you hadn’t even considered protection when you’d imagined sleeping with him before. 

“You assumed what, honey?” he asks, voice soft. 

“It’s dumb. I can’t tell you.”

“You can tell me anything. I’m not going to think it’s dumb, I promise.”

You chew on your lip, letting your eyes unfocus on the box as you muster the courage to be honest. 

“Whenever I imagined it… we didn’t… use anything.”

The words make you cringe even as you’re saying them. So does the quiet that follows. 

“When you imagine us sleeping together, we don’t use a condom?”

“Ah!” The phone drops to the mattress as you cover your ears and roll onto your side, curling into yourself once more. “You didn’t have to say it! You make me sound so weird!”

“It’s not weird,” he laughs, because he can probably imagine exactly what you just did, “I just wanted to make sure I was understanding you. That said… we would definitely use protection.”

“Do we have to?”

The quiet words take even you by surprise—and they seem to stun Spencer as well. Several false starts are punctuated by a sigh as he gathers his thoughts. 

“We really should, baby. That’s the kind of thing we need to take seriously.”

“But you’re… you’re good, right?”

Thankfully he picks up on your meaning. 

“I am. I wouldn’t touch you if I weren’t.”

“And I’m good. So...”

“Hm. And has anyone ever explained to you where babies come from?”

You groan in frustration. 

“Spencer, I’m being serious! There are ways to negate that.”

“Honey,” he murmurs, “I understand that. But it would be irresponsible of me to say yes. We can talk about it in the future, but—”

“I’m telling you it’s already dealt with. The chances of an accidental pregnancy are slim to none.”

The new information hangs in the air for a moment until Spencer speaks—to your surprise, his voice is low and humorous. 

“That is… good to know. But even so—I’m setting a dangerous precedent if I always let you get exactly what you want.”

“Is it such a bad thing that I just wanna—I wanna know what it feels like? You don’t want that?”

“That’s not what I said. I want to know exactly what you feel like. I’m just hesitant to give in so quickly because it makes me look weak.”

You laugh breathlessly, caught between being turned on by the first part of his sentence and amused by the sarcastic second half. Your thighs clench and your hand absentmindedly wanders between them. 

“You know what I was thinking about?” you ask. Spencer hums curiously. “I was thinking about when you let me, um… when you let me touch you how you touch me.” He hums again, but you can hear the amused curve of a smile in it now.

“When you had your mouth all full of me and you looked so pretty?”

“When I—yeah,” you agree, too caught up to deny his compliment as your fingers brush your most sensitive spot through clothing. “And  how you got me all messy after. And I was wondering what it would feel like… inside me.”

He sucks in a breath. Your legs brush against each other and you twist slightly as you pretend like you’re not touching yourself just a little bit. 

“You want me to come inside you?”

“Yeah,” you whisper, brain short-circuiting at the way those words sound in his voice. 

—

On the other side of the line, Spencer isn’t doing a fantastic job of thinking clearly either. His dick is half-hard already and it’s only getting worse with each little noise you make that you don’t seem to realize you’re making. 

“Really? That would be very messy, baby. I’m surprised that’s what you want.”

“But I really want it,” you breathe. He’s not even looking as he slips his hand under the waistband of his pajamas and palms himself, his other hand rubbing tiredly over his face as his phone rests on his chest. This was not how he intended for this call to go, believe it or not—but he’s here now. 

“Yeah? Is that why you’re touching yourself right now?”

You go silent—which is more or less exactly the reaction Spencer had been expecting. Patiently he waits for you to deny it, in three, two—

“’M not.”

Now, he could explain how he knows that’s a lie. How your breathing pattern changed, and your voice got softer and airier, and how you started speaking with smaller words in fragmented sentences. But he doesn’t feel like explaining any of that. 

“I know that’s not true,” he murmurs. “You know what? It wasn’t fair to get you all worked up last night and then leave. I don’t want you frustrated, honey. I want you to do whatever you need to do.”

You make a little gasping noise, and Spencer can imagine the way your back would arch when you did it. His own hips buck slightly as his dick twitches under his fingers. 

“Where are you touching?”

“Um—over my clothes.”

Cute. 

“Go under them for me. Tell me how it feels when you’re touching yourself like that.”

It takes a moment, in which all he hears is the rustling of fabric, until you’re whispering, “feels… it feels good. I wish you were here.”

He inhales, freeing his cock and squeezing the base. 

“I know. Just listen to my voice, pretty. I’m right here.”

Spencer allows himself a few slow tugs as he imagines what’s happening in his bed. You make a squeaking noise, like a held-back moan, and his eyes screw shut. 

“I need them inside,” you whine, and he knows you’re referring to his fingers—the ones currently stroking his own leaking cock. 

“You can use your own, just give yourself a minute first. Remember what I said about needing to be ready?”

“I am ready—” judging by the surprised chirp you interrupt yourself with, you’ve proven yourself right. What surprises Spencer is the weak sound of disappointment you make next. “Spence, it doesn’t feel the same.”

“We’re different sizes, honey. Your hands aren’t as big as mine. But you can still make it feel good.” 

He almost says, 90% of the nerves in the vaginal canal are located in the lower third—in other words, within approximately 2.36 inches from the opening, which you can most certainly reach—but he refrains. He’s not sure if that’s good dirty talk. 

“You have a really sensitive spot about three inches up, right in front. It’s going to feel a little different than the rest of you when you touch it. I want you to try and find it for me, okay?”

“Okay,” you breathe, ever-eager to please even from a great distance. There’s a quiet moment. “I can’t—I don’t think I can r—oh,”

The moan is so pretty Spencer can’t help speeding up the motion of his hand, hissing slightly as his fingers brush against the angry tip with every pump. 

“Did you find it?”

“Yeah,” you whine, a weak, high-pitched thing. “Oh my god.”

“Be gentle,” he warns with some effort as his own hips jump slightly. “You’re really sensitive there. If you’re not careful you’ll make yourself sore.”

“I don’t care—holy shit—” the way your voice rises and tightens to a squeak at the end has Spencer moaning as he fucks his fist. A black hole forms and warps time, turning every minute into a second and every second into an infinity until he has no idea how much time is going by. He drags his thumb over the tip, smearing precum over his cock and whining as his jaw drops at the feeling. “Oh my god, Spencer,” in that same strained, high voice. “’M gonna—ah!”

He gets the general sentiment. 

“What, baby? You’re gonna make yourself come all over your fingers? Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

“Mhm!”

“Yeah, I bet you are. It feels good, huh?”

“Yes,” you cry. 

“See? You don’t need my fingers to feel good. Mine barely fit, you know that? I have to hold your fucking hips down whenever I put my fingers in you because you can’t stop squirming. I don’t know how you think you’re going to take my cock.”

“Spencer!” 

He knows. 

“Come, baby. Let me hear you.”

The delicate sounds you make as you bring yourself to orgasm tip him over the edge of his own—grunting as he comes all over his fist. 

“Jesus,” he strains under his breath, the word dragging out into two long syllables as his hips buck involuntarily and cum drips down his knuckles. He’s lightheaded and he’s created a mess and it all happened so quickly. “Fuck,” he breathes, a rasping chuckle as he reaches for the towel he’d dropped on the bed after his shower earlier. “You conscious over there?”

“I’m conscious,” you slur, breathing heavily. “I’ve never had an orgasm by myself before.”

“Are you proud of yourself?” Spencer smiles, wiping his hand off and making sure he’s otherwise clean. “You should be. I am.”

He’s barely kidding. 

“I’ll be proud when I can do it without your help,” you tease. 

“But I’ll always want to help you with that.” His already warm face flushes further as he goes over what he’d said. “Sorry I was so vulgar.”

You laugh. He blushes even more. 

“Are you? I think you secretly love being vulgar.”

“I don’t know why! I have no idea where it comes from. I would never speak that way in any other context. I should probably work on that. Sometimes I look back on the things I say and I’m genuinely appalled.”

“Well, don’t stop on my account. Personally I enjoy it.”

“Yeah, I think I’m corrupting you. You probably shouldn’t enjoy it.”

The truth of it weighs heavy on his mind, but he’s pretty sure his voice alone doesn’t betray that and you can’t sense it through the phone. 

“Oh, my god. Do not do that falling on your sword shit. I like being corrupted by you. If you stop I’ll be very upset.”

“Well god forbid you get upset,” he teases gently. Idly he wonders if the reason he’s suddenly feeling so depressed is because his cortisol levels were already high from the case, and then he jarred his system with an orgasm, spiking his dopamine and ultimately causing it to plummet without the oxytocin release that post-coital physical contact would usually provide. 

Or if it was something else. It could also be something else. 

For the millionth time, he wishes he was with you. Part of him also wants to go to sleep. But mostly he wishes he was with you. 

—

A comfortable silence settles over the conversation. In the ditch between words, you’re mapping constellations in the texture of Spencer’s ceiling. If you squeeze your eyes almost shut, you can imagine it really is the night sky. You can imagine he’s really here. 

You think about what he said—his apparently mindless vulgarity. Did it mean anything? Or was he just rambling to get you off?

“Spencer?” you murmur. 

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

He sounds earnest, perhaps a little tired, as he replies, “always,” through the little metal rectangle on your chest. He likes me and my questions are important to him, you repeat to yourself silently as you work up the strength. 

“If Penelope hadn’t called, last night… were you going to have sex with me?” 

Your lip tastes like his toothpaste as you chew it. Spencer sucks in a breath of air like he’s about to speak—and lets it fizzle out like foam on a carbonated drink. 

“I don’t know,” he finally admits, lamely. “That wasn’t my plan, but you can be extremely convincing when you want to be.”

“But why can’t it be your plan?” It’s an almost whine, pouty and childish—but the next words are quiet and pained. “Is it something I’m doing wrong?”

“No, no! It’s not you. You’re perfect. It’s—it’s complicated. It’s a me thing.”

Such trite words—such a ubiquitous, simple excuse sounds almost comical from his mouth when you know he’s capable of all the eloquence in the world. It’s not you, it’s me. It’s ridiculous. 

“Okay. Let me simplify this for you,” you begin with an uncharacteristic assertiveness that surprises even you. “I want to have sex with you. Either we are going to have sex or we’re not. So your future branches in two diverging paths. In one, we have sex, and then we keep having sex. In the other we never have sex ever. If you want to ever have the privilege of fucking me, then we just have to do it. Otherwise it simply will never happen. And I’m not eternally patient, Reid.”

Go me, you think, slightly breathless from your monologue. 

“Watch your mouth,” he says dryly. Something about the chastisement makes your stomach flip and your whole body tingle. “When you talk to me you call me Spencer. I will also accept Doctor Reid.” You wrestle down a smile, refusing to let him change the subject. A delayed sigh from him sobers up the conversation. “You know what I want. I’ve been very clear with you about that. But…”

“But…?”

Another sigh. A deeper, shuddering sigh, like his breath is searching for balance. Like Spencer is in a precarious position for which he was unprepared. 

“But—but to be completely honest… I worry that you’ll regret choosing me. And I know virginity is a social construct and I’m not implying that your worth will somehow be diminished if we have sex but regardless of my views on virginity as a construct, having sex for the first time can be weird and scary and it’s incredibly intimate and I don’t want you to regret your first time like I regret mine because you chose the wrong person.”

The words come at you so rapid-fire it takes you a moment to process them. And aside from all the ways you want to reassure him that you will not regret choosing him—that you could never, ever regret anything about him—one thing stands out. 

“You regret your first time?” 

Something between a scoff and a sigh travels through the line. You can tell he’s not annoyed at you for asking so much as he’s flustered himself with all his own words as he occasionally does. 

“Yeah. Yes. Sometimes I do. The person—she didn’t… like me as much as I liked her. And I was really, really in love with her, and she knew that and she knew she wasn’t in love with me—or maybe she was, I don’t know—but my point is, when one person likes the other more than the other person like them, things get complicated. And however you feel about me—that’s fine. It’s fine. I don’t want you to feel bad if we don’t feel exactly the same way about each other. I understand that this is newer for you, it’s different, I—I just don’t want us to do something we can’t undo because I don’t want to relive that. And I’m not saying it will never happen but I just don’t want you to make this choice when… when right now, I think we’re in different places emotionally. Regardless of that, I want you to choose the right person. I don’t want you to choose me and then find out that we feel differently after we sleep together and leave you feeling like you signed up for something you didn’t understand. I’m sorry. Maybe telling you this is selfish. But I’ve been thinking about it and trying to ignore it and I think I just have to be completely honest.”

Your ears ring like Spencer just fired a blank right into the microphone. Like you just got backhanded across the face and now you have the world’s worst case of whiplash. 

Every finger is numb and your blood is so cold it feels blue as it slithers thick through your veins. 

What you want to do is scream. What you want to do is go back to last night and stop yourself from almost telling him I love you, slap yourself and keep your cards a little closer to your chest. Because now he knows, and he doesn’t feel the same. 

You want to scream bloody murder. 

But when you try, when you unhinge your jaw and part your chapped lips and expect a bellow to come hurdling up the corridor of your throat with so much force it rattles your bones, all that falls out is a small, “oh.”

Maybe that’s worse. 

Spencer doesn’t reply. You hate yourself for feeling obliged to fill the silence. 

“I didn’t realize you…”

I didn’t realize that you don’t love me back. 

I didn’t realize I like you more than you like me. 

I didn’t realize you’d tell me to masturbate in your fucking bed and then drop this not even five minutes later. 

If Spencer Reid was able to talk to you over the phone with the same amount of affection and familiarity as always, like everything was still okay, knowing you love him and he doesn’t love you the whole time, he is not who you thought he was. 

“I’m sorry,” he lamely says again, like it could ever help. 

More silence. Now you can’t bring yourself to speak, so Spencer does. 

“I realize how awkward this is. I really didn’t mean to put you in this position. Especially not over the phone when I—god, I’m stupid. I’m sorry. But can we—can we talk about this in person when I get back? Please?”

Is that what grownups do? Is the proper etiquette for him to take you out to dinner and explain why he’s not in love with you? Is he going to break up with you?

What does one even wear to a breakup date?

“Okay,” you whisper. Your eyes sting, your everything stings, like you’ve been wrapped in a shroud of briar. Sheets that were soft a moment ago feel like sandpaper on open wounds. You feel like an open wound. 

Spencer sighs. It’s a sound of relief that confuses and hurts you even more. 

“Okay. I—okay. Thank you. Um—I’ll let you go back to sleep, now.”

“Okay,” you repeat—as if any of this were okay. But you can’t keep being that stupid girl who feels it all so much harder, who loves easily and begs to be loved in return, too naive to assume that someone who treats her so kindly might not reciprocate her feelings. It has to be okay, because if it’s not, you’re silly and dramatic and you’re just proving him right. 

“Goodnight,” Spencer whispers, and you can’t help but feeling that it’s the last time you’ll ever hear those words from his mouth while you’re in his bed. And he’s not even fucking here.

So you pull the blanket a little higher. You let your tears stain his pillow because they’ll be invisible by the morning. It will be like they were never here. Like you were never here. 

“Goodnight.”

-

part five

[byrnedavid]

Atlanta: Robbin’ Season

[ji-lixie]

yeah im not gonna bother watching the mv lol

[onenightbreak]

wow disagreement in the notes

no more anime boys wearing masks dream smp designs, society has progressed past the need for anime boys wearing masks dream smp designs

[anachrosims]

This is probably going to make people unfollow but w/e.

I really want to do a couple stories, especially one about Alice as a queen and Arthur as her twin brother, Duke of Wessex.

Buuuuut...

Part of my hesitance in joining in r*yal s*ms stuff is because I strongly disagree with some members of the community on how to feel about real life royalty--Pr*nce Ph*lip, for example. I already made a statement back after his death, but essentially: While I do feel it is important to be respectful of others, I cannot respect OR excuse people like him (and that includes most of the BRF). I’m glad he’s gone. It means there’s one less racist imperialist in the world and I am FINE with that. I’m not going to make excuses for a racist relative and I certainly won’t do it for one of the leeches siphoning money from our friends across the pond.

The other reason is my stance on historical representation of multiple socio-economic classes and how that relates to “accuracy.” In short: I have a major problem with people who complain about the “accuracy” of other people’s games but choose to ignore less than glamorous aspects of whatever era they’re particularly fond of. I’m not saying someone needs to put sl*very and s*xual *ssault in their game. I’m also not saying someone shouldn’t play/make CC/whatever for their specific interests. 

What I’m saying is, don’t throw stones while living in a glass house. If you’re going to complain about someone’s accuracy or lack thereof, why not help produce more CC that can reflect more about an era than the elite at the top? Because like it or not, that kind of behavior is hypocritical and historical revisionism and gatekeepy as hell to people who are new to historical fashion and culture. I’m just not down with that attitude. 

(EDIT: If you want to jive with that and you don’t think it’s wrong, honestly, you do you. I don’t want to tell anyone what they can/can’t do in-game. But keep it in your game/friends circle. Constant scrutiny and negativity are way more harmful than you might think. We were all brand new to our various interests at some point, and it wouldn’t kill someone to remember how that feels. As for me, I’m just saying I don’t want to put up with/engage with that.)

That’s part of why I’m trying to make an 18th century military campaign set, and why I’d like to make a catch-all 19th century one as well... despite the fact that I’m worried the sets will be flops because they’re not fancy/luxe enough. 

To be honest, I’m only posting about this because I really want to engage with different parts of this community. But I’m afraid to, because I’m really tired of petty bullshit. As an amateur historian, as a gamer and creator, I just want to vibe and make friends. And idk how to engage with the historical and/or royal parts of the community anymore.

[cotccotc]

┈┈ 𝐬𝐤𝐳 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬/𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜 *:･ﾟ

✩ ot8 reaction headcannon, 2.5k words (eek sorry)

✩ genre/s: **fluff**, humor, established relationship, ot8 x gender neutral!reader

✩ warning/s: MOBILE TUMBLR HATES ME (some gifs & author’s note might not appear),,,, my terrible sense of humor/commentary, a couple of them are suggestive if you  s q u i n t

✩ a/n: idk if the concept makes any sense but it does in my mind \_( ‘-’ )_/ also seungmin’s part is the exact same kinda similar to a brief scenario in my txt soobin “brightest blue” fic... but it’s fineee. also i’m sorry that some are longer than others! enjoy :))

chan:

chan is definitely extremely interested in the music you listen to.

in fact, sometimes he’d probably insist that you show him your current playlist from start to finish lol.

i can imagine y’all hanging out at the dorms, maybe even mid-cuddle, listening to some of your recent favorites.

but there’s this ONE SONG--

your absolute JAM

you get up from your seat or the bed and start completely jamming out.

he stays where he is so he can watch you have the time of your life.

i guess nobody told him you’re a professional lip syncer… awk...

you grab a hairbrush and hold it up like it’s a microphone.

honestly you’re thriving,,

he’s kinda stunned. not in a bad way, but he’s just so mezmorized by how cute (and maybe a lil sexy) you are when you dance like no one’s watching.

there’s a particularly awesome beat drop toward the end of the song, which leads you to do some equally awesome head banging.

he’s cackling at this point, which drives you to act even sillier.

*ending pose*

once the song ends and you’re trying to catch your breath, he slowly starts clapping for you.

“the song was great, but the performance was even better,” he’d say, coming off a bit sarcastic. but he means well!

you start to get a bit self-conscious and shy as you put yourself together again.

he’ll try to comfort you, standing up to wrap you in a hug.

“don’t be embarrassed!” (cue soft chan),

“baby that was awesome”,

“you should join a rock band!”, etc.

overall, he’d love it when you share your music taste, and this event will probably set off a chain reaction of similar jam sessions in the future.

minho:

ok so we all know minho’s a cat person, blah blah blah...

but what if you got super excited about a really cute dog?

let’s say you’re on a walk at a park, holding hands, and talking.

all of a sudden you see someone walking their dog…

and when i tell you this is the cutest, tiniest dog on the face of the earth,,,

you immediately stop walking and squeeze minho’s hand. you point to the dog and start freaking out because it’s so cute.

he’d say something silly like, “what are you talking about? it looks like a rat.”

you disregard it because you’re just so excited about this puppy!

“can we pet it?” you ask.

“... fine” he replies, smiling at you, despite his attempts to act uninterested.

y’all go over to the woman walking her dog and ask if you can pet the puppy. when she says you can pet him, you immediately sit on the ground, ready to have the best puppy playdate of your life.

minho’s still standing, watching you with loving eyes.

of course, you start talking to the puppy as if he’s a baby. minho laughs, trying to stifle all the uwus emanating from his heart

the puppy climbs onto your lap and licks your face just a little bit.

you look up at minho with wide eyes, saying “awww, isn’t he so cute!”

he’d playfully roll his eyes because why would he cheat on cats like that…

then you tug on his hand, motioning for him to sit with you. he does, reluctantly.

you place the puppy on his lap to see what happens.

the dog loves him! (of course, because what living thing wouldn’t love lee minho?)

the puppy is licking minho all over as he makes faces of disgust and struggles to pull him away.

you laugh out loud, happier than ever at the two very good boys in front of you.

he smiles again, completely endeared with your excitement despite being covered in puppy spit...

so, it doesn’t matter what kinds of animals you two prefer, since you’re the cutest thing he’s ever seen. (aww)

changbin:

i feel like changbin is the type to not be ashamed of/shy about showing you the songs he’s writing.

...except for right now.

he just got home from the studio, dropping his bag onto a table… but some papers fall out.

you attempt to grab the papers, but changbin stops you and grabs them himself instead with a subtle hint of nervousness.

pretty suspicious if you ask me.

“what’s up?” you ask, a bit confused about what just happened.

he’d try to play it off like nothing suspicious was going on, but you know his poker face.

it’s too cute not to notice.

he likes to play all tough but you (and everyone else tbh) know him better than that.

you go to grab the papers, but he steps away. you try again… and again, and again, and again.

you become increasingly more frustrated and impatient with each attempt, until changbin holds them up high in the air where you can’t reach them. he has a look on his face that says ‘haha! gotcha!’

you’ve never done this much jumping in your life.

but you’re not a quitter.

“okay… i give up,” you say, returning to a stationary position and placing your arms around his neck.

however, just as he lowers his hands to your waist, you snatch the papers!

“AHA!” you exclaim.

all he can say is “damn it!” as you scramble to the couch with the papers in your hand. you sit facing away from him, attempting to speed-read the lyrics sprawled across the pages.

he follows you to the couch, trying to take the papers back from behind.

“binnie, these are so good!!”

“thanks… but were they worth betraying your innocent boyfriend?”

“yes. every word.” you finally hand him back the papers with a smirk.

he’d curse under his breath, ditching the papers in favor of tickling you instead.

what a terrible punishment!

hyunjin:

we all know hyunjin is a drama queen,,

you can be a bit of a dramatic person yourself (who isn’t?).

so when you lose your favorite sweater, you’re immediately going on a wild goose chase around the dorms, because that’s where you had it last.

you’re practically talking to yourself. double checking everywhere you’d been. retracing your steps like a mad person.

you need this sweater!!

you let out a little “urgh!” as you begin getting frustrated.

hyunjin would ask what’s wrong, and when you tell him, he’d GASP.

he’d be like:

“have you checked under the bed?”

“the couch?”

“what about over here?”

“over there?”

this boy will not REST until the sweater is back in your possession, wasting no time in matching your level of concern/dramatics...

… if not exceeding it.

y’all have practically torn the whole room apart at this point.

until finally, you find it in a random drawer (of course smh)

“I FOUND IT!” you’d exclaim, flopping onto the bed and putting the sweater on,

to which you’d receive a “YAY!” in return

tired and leaning against a wall, he’d say something like, “thank GOD! now, why do you need it so bad?”

and you’d simply and softly respond, “... i got chilly~”

he wouldn’t give a verbal response, but his face would go from relaxed to ‘bruh’.

you knew he’d be shocked at your statement, but you choose to tease him instead with a smile.

he would then opt to tackle you in the bed, fumbling with the covers and vowing to make you as warm as humanly possible.

jisung:

jisung definitely loves showing you the music he’s been working on, just like changbin.

except… this time, the lyrics aren’t necessarily what you’re used to hearing.

you can tell jisung’s a bit nervous as he presses play, choosing to keep his eyes on the floor as he nods his head to the rap.

you’re listening intently, as curious and excited as you are every other time…

but then you realize that it’s about you……

the lyrics talk about letting someone into his life and his longing to be even closer to that person than he is now.

therefore,,,,   u w u

you giggle, which prompts him to look up at you almost immediately with anticipation about your reaction.

you decide to wait until the end of the song to react, but you can already feel the excitement bubbling up inside of you.

the song ends, and you’re sitting in silence alongside jisung. “so… what did you think?”

“well… i think…” you trail off, looking into jisung’s eyes.

with a bit of a squeal you leap up from your seat and essentially attack him.

you straddle his legs (don’t get any *ideas* this is FLUFF for goodness sake) and wrap your arms around his neck, locking him into a big hug.

“i love it, baby. so, so, so, much,” you respond quickly and genuinely.

he laughs, his arms wrapping around you.

he’d probably remark, “you scared me for a second!”

you laugh in response, apologizing for your delayed reaction.

deep down, he’d feel so relieved that you liked the song and its sentiment.

he’d also be so happy to have you, his overexcited sweetheart, in his arms.

however, at the surface, he’d prefer to tease you. “next time, don’t make me wait so long!”

felix:

ok so y’all send memes and tik toks back and forth all day every day. it’s just protocal.

also,,, you could literally be in the same room, and he’d still just start sending you tik toks he’d saved just to send to you and see your reaction.

but there’s this   o n e

you can’t quite explain why but when you watch the tik tok that your boyfriend sent you from across the couch, you laugh harder than you’ve ever laughed before.

whatever humor you may have, this tik tok completely encompasses it in a beautiful, stupid way.

before you know it, you begin cackling.

felix knows that you’ve always been a bit embarrassed of your laugh (who isn’t, right?), so when you start letting loose he’s a bit caught off guard.

still, he joins in (at a smaller scale, of couse).

he always wants to see you happy, but this is a whole new level of cuteness in his eyes.

your laughter subsides a bit...

until you decide to watch the tik tok again.

believe it or not, it’s even funnier the second time!

you double over, laughing so hard that no sound is even coming out of your mouth.

“are you okay?!” he’d ask, laughing harder now at your actions.

he’d put his arms around you so he could hold you up.

you’d mouth out a “no” in response.

there are practically tears forming at the corners of your eyes.

he’d continue looking down at you with a beaming smile, holding you up until your laughter comes to a full stop.

“was it really that funny? i can’t even make you laugh like this.”

you’re almost dazed, your stomach hurting (in the best way possible). you try to steady your breathing.

after a few seconds of recovery, he’d whisper in your ear with a deep, silly voice...

“...wanna watch it again?”

it’s safe to say you won’t fully recover for a while.

seungmin:

on days off, you watch dramas with seungmin to take both of your minds off of work/school/whatever’s been keeping you busy.

however… of course you can’t go a whole episode without laughing hysterically, and it’s all because of seungmin.

it could be the most dramatic, intense, or heartbreaking scene in the show but he would make it into a full blown impersonation comedy routine.

ESPECIALLY if the drama is in a foreign language.

this boy will reinact all of the subs in the stupidest way possible.

but, today he’s a bit exhausted, snuggling up against you and not saying much.

our boys work too hard :((   (but wbk)

...so you decide to take his place.

you start off kind of hesitantly, waiting to see if he’d even react. when the main characters start to have an argument, you begin reading the subtitles in a silly voice.

you hear a soft giggle from your boyfriend has be tightens his arm’s grip around your waist.

you begin to use different voices for each of the two characters, alternating between a nasly, high pitched one and a lower one with voice cracks. this makes seungmin laugh harder, going from a giggle to his usual open-mouthed chuckle.

he’s so cute >_< ,,anyways…

as the scene intensifies, so does the volume of your impersonations.

“yOu’Ve bEtRaYeD mE!”

“BuT yOu LiEd tO mE!”

at this point seungmin is cackling despite his heavy eyes and unwillingness to move. he’d be so caught up in your routine that he’d forget he was even tired.

you look up at him to see that big smile and those sparkly eyes you love so much, which motivates you to be even goofier!

you sit up, leaving seungmin’s grasp. you begin making hand gestures to match your overdramatic tone.

the scene comes to a climax, in which you recite the final line with more ferver and fake passion than ever before. you finish it off with a fist in the air for ~emphasis~.

as you hold this pose, you hear your loyal audience member begin to cheer for you. he claps, whisper-shouting “ahh” to create fake crowd noises.

“what a show!” he would commend you with an expression of sarcastic awe on his face.

you’re really glad you decided to cheer him up…

but not nearly as glad as he is to have you with him on a day like this.

jeongin:

jeongin’s smile could literally melt anyone’s heart. everybody knows this.

i don’t care who you are, if you see jeongin smile, you either smile or cry and there are no other options.

i don’t make the rules.

so, when he shows you the ‘lovestay’ version of his latest dance practice, you’re bound to go insane with adoration.

as soon as his solo comes up and the camera zooms in on his sweet, smiling face, you give his cheek a little poke

you say, “that’s you!”

“shut up,” he’d respond, giggling.

“wait, i missed something,” you say with a sense of urgency. you take the phone from his hands, rewinding a few seconds.

he’d roll his eyes at you, getting a bit shy.

you resume the video until the boy in the video holds up a finger heart, at which point you press pause.

“look how cute!” you exclaim, looking up at jeongin and pointing back and forth between him and the screen.

“stop it!” he’s blushing (and you’re screaming internally at how cute he is) as he tries to refrain from making a big smile.

you poke his side, resulting in a small fit of laughter that forces his bright grin to peek out.

he swats your hand away, putting his arm around you

(partly to show his affection and partly to make you hold still)

you place your head onto his shoulder, resuming the video for the final time. “you’re too cute. i can’t help it.”

“but you’re the cutest...” he murmurs, almost inaudibly to someone who isn’t as close to him as you are now.

heat rises in your face.

you: “...stop…”

him: “hah!”

touché...

©️ cotccotc 2020 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[yurisolde]

under read more bc i put too much effort into my ocs and there is A Lot. tw for violent stuff

this will be updated every time i think of something for him!

deviantart link

Rollick

“The Ravenous” ? idk I suck at titles

no accessories

Size reference

why does he have anime hair if hes a fish? because he’s my oc and i say so

I MADE ICONS FOR THE LOCATIONS AND CLASS AND OTHER CHAMPIONS’ ABILITIES AND TUMBLR WONT’T LET ME ADD THEM WITHOUT FUCKING THE WHOLE POST UP

Short crappy bio

A young shark-like Vastaya. Born in Ionia, west of the island Sudaro. He was captured as a child by  Bilgewater pirates after straying too close to the surface and being found. Was then put to work on the Slaughter Docks, and trained to hunt in the traditional Serpent Isles manner: “launching themselves at their targets to secure tow-hooks with their bare hands, and beginning to butcher the creatures while they yet lived.”.

I need to update myself on League lore, but I would like him 2 be acquaintances with Nami and Fizz. Also, Rollick would have heard stories about Pyke and would find him really cool. Ideally, he would have Johnny Yong Bosch as his voice actor because I love how he voiced Kung Jin in Mortal Kombat X, but I don’t know how he’d do with a pirate accent lmao.

Kit

Would be classed as a Fighter with the sub-class Diver. At least I think he would.  

His kit is basically just a mash-up of multiple champions with extra ingredients. Riot do it themselves, so I'm allowed to, too. Pirate lingo used for most of his abilities and voice lines b/c I'm not creative for naming things.

 Passive "Blow the Man Down." : A mash-up of Rengar and Darius' but more complicated. Auto-attacking 3 times in a row, or using abilities, gives his unused abilities 3 different tiers of empowerment. (Like, if you auto-attack 3 times, use W, then Q, his E will have tier 3 empowerment.). Tiers 2 and 3 gives the target bleed when hit by abilities, applying "Blood in the Water."  Applying the bleed multiple times makes it stack, tier 2 stacks like two stacks of tier 1 bleed, tier 3 stacks like two stacks of tier 2 bleed. How many times can it stack? Idk. 5? 7? 10?? ok probably not 10 that would be stupid.

2nd passive "Clipper." : Rollick moves faster in the river; this move speed scales with his normal move speed.

Q "Feed the Fish." : Tier 1 is a swipe in an AOE cone with his claws. Tier 2 is a small lunge in a targeted direction with two swipes, one with each hand. Tier 3 is a longer distance lunge with a bite. If tier 3 lands on a moving target (examples: scuttlecrab when it dashes, Ezreal using his E), it will follow the target like Warwick Q/Evelynn E. The bite will also heal him for a small amount.

W "Hook, Line, Sinker." : is like Rengar's Bola Strike with a wider but shorter range for tiers 1 and 2, but he leaps in the targeted direction at tier 3 and if he hits something, covers it with his net and stays on top of them for a short amount of time. Tier 2 spins the target around from they way Rollick throws his net and will turn the opposite direction of the way the target was originally standing. If you're facing Rollick and the tier 2 net hits you, your back is now turned to Rollick.

E "Chase." : Warwick Blood Hunt but either less or more annoying. Cooldown is shorter in duration, but so is its active. The passive part of it only shows paths to champions affected with a bleed, burn or poison DOT effect. (Includes: Rollick's "Blood in the Water", Darius'  "Hemorrhage", Brand's  "Blaze", Gangplank's  "Trial by Fire", Lillia's  "Dream Dust", Cassiopeia's  "Noxious Poison" and  "Debilitating Poison", Twitch's "Deadly Venom", Teemo's  "Toxic Shot" and  "Noxious Trap", Singed's  "Poison Trail", the  "Scorch" rune,  "Ignite" summoner spell,  "Challenging Smite" summoner spell, "Azakana Gaze" from  Demonic Embrace, and "Torment" from  Liandry's Anguish.

R "Cleave 'Em to the Brisket!" : Similar to Skarner's "Impale". Rollick takes the hooked blade he has on his belt and lunges at the target, stabbing into the enemy champion's chest with his chest to their back, and drags them away. "Cleave 'Em to the Brisket!" can only be used on a champion that has their back turned towards Rollick. It applies a tier 3 "Blood in the Water." upon use. It can yank champions out of  Displacement Immunity, but doesn't suppress the target champion entirely, they are still able to use dash and blink abilities, use Thresh's  "Dark Passage", recast  "Death Sentence" , and use most movement summoner spells ( Flash, Hexflash, Mark/Dash), but if they do, half of their current HP is taken away from the hooked knife being dragged/yanked out of them. If you are 30% HP and you use one of the movement abilities mentioned, you will leave with 15% HP and two stacks of tier 3 bleed. For 5 seconds after using his ult, Rollick uses his knife to attack, gaining increased auto-attack range and his autos apply a tier 1 bleed stack per hit. The enhanced auto-attacks drag his targets towards him because of the hook part in his knife getting caught on them.

Animation ideas

(I used google to find every gif/picture, save for the “dance” one. they have tumblr links bc when writing this tumblr shit itself when i wanted to save it as a draft and i kept it open in a different tab and copy/pasted everything. im sorry some of the gifs are weird aslkfjdjf)

Walking animation is him using his arms and tail to "crawl". imagine the gif has a tail instead of legs

Running animation is the same concept, just with much more effort put into making himself move faster. Moving in the river looks more like he’s swimming rather than crawling. Slowed animation is him dragging himself slowly with his head facing the ground, putting weight on his elbows instead of using his arms completely. Like an army crawl but in pain.

Idle animation is him crossing his arms and resting on his elbows, then looking around and inspecting his claws.

If left in idle animation for more than 15 seconds, he drops down completely and puts his head in his arms and dozes off. Moving after the sleep idle will have him shake his head awake when starting to move.

Death animation is him trying to crawl, being unable to, then collapsing on his side and flopping onto his back.

Taunt animation is him straightening himself then lashing out with his hands and baring his teeth before "biting" the air in the direction he’s standing, voice lines coming out before the bite part.

Joke animation is him chasing his own tail? Maybe he gets tangled in his net after doing it for a second and just struggles there until the animation is interrupted.

Dance is uh. He straightens up and does knife tricks. He doesn’t have legs, doesn’t have a staff like Nami, and just wouldn’t dance like Cassiopeia.

I made the gif using footage from here.

His laugh animation would be him laughing and flopping onto his back, then turning back onto his stomach. All but one of his laughs would be loud and hearty, the one that isn’t would sound like Kung Jin’s laugh.

Voice line ideas

First encounters:

Bilgewater/Bilgewater themed champion:

"Ahoy!" "Ahoy, bucko!" "Ahoy, scallywag."

Multiple champions simultaneously/champions who have a visible partner/partners with them (examples: Kindred, Sejuani, Lulu with Pix, Elise with her Spiderlings, Azir with his Sand Soldiers):

"Ahoy, me hearties."

Pyke:

"Pyke?! I’ve heard stories of you! Though… You’re smaller than I had imagined..." "Hey there, old salt! " "Ahoy, seadog! "

Nami:

"Good to see a friendly face! Shame it’s on the wrong side." "Oh! Little lass! Have you found your stone yet? "

Fizz:

"Little trickster! Where’s your big friend? "

Illaoi:

“Test? Gonna get myself an A-plus-plus! …That’s the good grade, right?

Taunts:

Any champion:

"Scurvy dog! " "AAARRRRGGGGHHHH! "

Bird/bird themed/winged champion:

"Polly want a cracker? "

Tahm Kench:

“The only creature with an appetite bigger than mine” “You put me to shame with that maw of yours! You could fit me in it!”

Abilities/eliminations:

Tier 3 "Feed the Fish.":

(after used on champion wearing armour/with tough skin)

"Ouch… I think I broke a tooth. Good thing I got more. "

(after used on champion with fur/feathers/long hair)

" (violent spitting-out-fluff noises) Blegh! "

Tier 1 and 2 "Hook, Line, Sinker. ":

"Catch! " "Avast, ye! "

Tier 2 "Hook, Line, Sinker. " after turning someone around:

"Bring a spring upon ‘er! " "Broadside! "

Using "Chase. " with a DOT’d champion in range:

"Chum in the water…" " (deep inhale, then a rumbling growl) "

Using "Chase. " with affected champion visible:

"Lookin’ a bit squiffy there…" " (laughter) Yesss… "

Eliminate champion:

"Take a caulk. "

Eliminate champion while using "Cleave ‘Em to the Brisket!" or the enhanced auto-attacks after:

"Hah, keelhauled! " “Taste me steel n’ may the devil take ye!”

“PENTAKILL!”:

"Dead men tell no tales…"

Respawn:

"What a flogging…" "Alright, I’ve fed the fish… Now it’s their turn. "

Pings:

(Danger!):

"Heave to! " "Avast ye! "

(Assist me!):

"All hand hoy! " "All hands on deck! "

(Assist me!) followed up by (On my way!), or vice versa:

"Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen! "

(Area is warded.):

"They’ve got a lookout. "

(Target champion):

"Thar she blows! " "Sail, ho! " "Savvy? " "Hang ‘em from the Yardarm! "

Miscellaneous:

Allied champion drinks potion or gets healed by another ally when Rollick has missing HP:

"Splice the mainbrace! Please?"

Alone with low HP, no potions or actives available, or sells all items:

"Looks like I’m marooned…"

Healed by ally:

"Feeling shipshape!" "Much obliged." "I’m in your debt." "Thank you!" "Thanks!"

Receives shutdown gold:

"Ha-ha! Plundered! " “Bounty taken.”

Flashing away from enemy:

"Blimey! " "Gah!” "Sink me! " " (girly shriek) "

[xxlovendreamsxx]

halfway across the world. rated k.

A/N: I was going through my WIPs and this was one I had been doing for a zine that I dropped out of. It was almost finished so I thought why not finish it. It fits the prompt for day 1 of our beloved otp month. Also there was supposed to be more but this is just wholesome in its mood and idk what followed would have been way too dramatic so I just put that plot bunny in the garbage. Who knows, I may revisit in another prompt. But for now, here, have this soldier!au drabble. It’s kinda meh but w/e. I just wanted to get the WIP out lol. 

.

It had been five hours since a messenger soldier had arrived at their location to report the sight of Akatsuki heading towards the village they were stationed at, and Sakura was beginning to doubt the validity of the information. She and Sasuke had been immediately sent on lookout duty at the borders of the town, the latter carrying a sniper in case of trouble, while she settled for bringing two handguns and a radio.

To Shikamaru’s calculations, the Akatsuki troop should have been there three hours ago. Sakura wished she had thought of bringing provisions; her mouth had long grown dry by now, and her stomach had hollowed out as well, gurgling with painful growls and beseeching for any type of sustenance.

Running the back over her hand over her sweat-slicked forehead, Sakura exhaled a heavy sigh and tipped her head back against the much cooler wall, tired gaze set on the build of her dark haired teammate. Occupied with the meticulous cleaning of his gun, Sasuke took a few moments to notice her staring, black eyes sliding to her in question. A lopsided smile tugged at her mouth just for that.

“I’m hungry, Sasuke-kun,” she said simply, the slightest hint of complaint in her tone. “Do you have anything edible by any chance? Like an apple? Some salted peanuts? I’d take anything at this point, seriously. My stomach feels like it’s eating itself.”

Sasuke cocked his head a little, eyes full of mirth as he watched her for a moment. But then he nodded, reaching for a pouch inside his military vest. Sakura practically jumped forward in excitement.

“It’s probably not in good shape,” he said, as he pulled out a protein bar and bent towards her to hand her the snack. Too eager, Sakura snatched it out of his grasp, eyes so wild with hunger that she just barely missed the way his lips twitched in return. “…But then again, it looks like you don’t care about that.”

Fiddling with the wrapping with so-hungry-she-was-clumsy fingers, Sakura giggled and stuck her tongue out at him, giddy from his light teasing.

“Honestly, it could be ten years old right now and I still wouldn’t care,” she said, taking a ravenous bite from the nut-filled bar and finding herself utterly unable to hold back her satisfied moan.

Quickly, she devoured the rest, paying no mind to how Sasuke cleared his throat, focused solely instead on relishing every little bite she could get. She turned to look at him with the most brilliant smile when she was done, eyes gleaming even brighter when she found him there, still cleaning his gun with one hand while the other was outstretched towards her with a half-filled bottle of water.

“You’re my absolute favorite person in the world, did you know that?” Sakura said, grinning as she took the offered drink, taking a few deep swigs. She wasn’t sated in the least, but at least both her hunger and thirst had been quenched a bit now, and that was all she could ask for.

Sasuke’s lips twitched again. He merely nodded in return. “Don’t mention it.”

Letting her head fall back against the wall once more, Sakura let out a long, deep sigh, content. She closed her eyes.

“…I can’t wait to go back home,” she murmured after a moment, grin fading into a small, pleased smile. From the way she was sitting, she could feel some of the sun’s almost-too-hot beams blaring on her skin from one of the two windows in the room. For a moment, she imagined she was back home, and not in a poor village of a mindlessly hot desert halfway across the world, hanging out on her parent’s back porch on a hot summer day. 

Mm, what she wouldn’t do to get a taste of her father’s divine watermelon lemonade right now.

Sasuke would probably like it too since it wasn’t too sweet, she mused, smiling wider as she cracked one eye open to glimpse at him. She sighed contently again and slipped it back shut.

“I haven’t seen mom and dad in so long,” she went on. “It’s been two years—can you believe that? Mom even says she’s got all my presents stacked in the closet so that I can open them when I get home.”

“You still get presents?” Sasuke asked, sounding completely astonished. Or well, as much as Sasuke could sound astonished, anyway.

Blinking her eyes open once more, Sakura met his gaze, straightened up and grinned. “Yup. Probably always will for as long as I live,” she said, brushing away a sweaty lock of her unbelievably bright hair.

Sasuke’s eyes softened, so much it warmed her heart and left it feeling like goo. She felt her stomach flutter as the look he gave her, so full of awe and pride… and dare she say, even a little envy.

She understood exactly why that was when he murmured, “You have good parents.”

Her smile lessened, giving way to something sadder, more bittersweet. It always hurt to think about how Sasuke no longer had an immediate family; when he was only eight, both his parents died in a car crash, and just a few years ago, his brother had gone MIA in the war. The latter is what had made him decide to enlist, full of hopes that he might one day find his brother.

But every year, those hopes were steadily declining, from what Sakura could sadly discern.

Swallowing the tightness in her throat, she flashed him a sweet smile. “Yeah, they are, aren’t they?” she said. “I’m so glad they decided to support me in the end when I wanted to enlist with you and Naruto. I know it’s hard on them, especially in times like these—and dad wanted so much for me to get a medical degree and work in a hospital, so I know it was especially hard on him. It would have been nice, but I don’t know… my place is with you guys. And I’m glad they came to understand that.” She paused, for a beat. A grin split her lips. “But they are counting on you two to look out for me. Because if anything happens to me, mom says she’ll do you two twice as bad.”

A faint smile pulled at Sasuke’s lips, finally, and he shook his head, undeniably amused. Sakura giggled, heart flipping and pounding away, all too delighted with herself. Making Sasuke smile was always an achievement in her book, especially since his smiles were so far and few these days.

She tucked her hair back again, clasping her hands in her lap a little shyly as they stared at each other. Sakura cleared her throat subtly, but still kept smiling. “They asked about you, you know?” she said.

Brows rising slightly, Sasuke blinked once, twice. “…Really,” he replied, sounding a little dubious.

But that didn’t surprise her; in all these years they’d known each other, Sasuke’s interactions with her parents had always been quite limited—especially since none of their hangouts had ever taken place at Sakura’s home. The most her parents had seen of Sasuke had been when he would pick her up beforehand or drop her home afterwards. The last time they had seen each other was two years ago at the airport, right before they were going back to the military base to be deployed, and they had hardly exchanged words.

It was only natural that Sasuke would assume they simply didn’t know each other enough for them to genuinely care about him.

Her smile shifted to something gentler. Silly man.

“Yeah. They did,” she said. “They said they worry about you, sometimes. Said you looked… lonely.”

(“he’s got practically no meat on his bones since he left—honestly, sakura, are you sure he’s even eating? poor boy looks like a lost, famished puppy. do i need to send him one of my care packages?”)

Lip curling at the corner at the memory, she set her attention on Sasuke again, heart buzzing with warmth at the sight of him, jaw slackened and eyes just barely widened. He was clearly stunned.

Eyes crinkling too happily, Sakura grinned at him and shifted to firmly nudge his thigh with her boot. “I told them you’re not, obviously,” she declared, winking teasingly. “Not with us around.”

Sasuke’s lips quirked, gaze melting again; looking so fond, so tender—so impossibly at peace. Gods, how she loved him so.

“Hm. How could I be?” he replied, eyes gleaming, teasing. “Naruto’s a loud idiot, Kakashi won’t stop lecturing me about the road of life, and you never leave my side.”

Her green eyes widened. That little—

Bursting into laughter, Sakura shook her head, throwing the not quite finished water bottle at his head. Sasuke caught it, but she kept laughing, wrapping her arms around herself as she shook and grinned and giggled.

Sasuke was smiling again when she stopped a short minute later, and Sakura heart flopped for the umpteenth time that day. She smiled back, feeling so full. Complete.

She made a silly face. “Oh, you’d be dead without me and you know it, Sasuke-kun,” she teased. And that was true.

Gaze flashing with some playfulness, Sasuke huffed, “So would you.” That was true, too.

Maybe when they would both go back home, she could finally tell him how she felt.

.

.

.

“Hey, Sasuke-kun?”

“What would you do if we were back home right now?”

“….Tomatoes.”

Laugh. “What, really? You’re so weird!”

“Tch. Yeah, whatever.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #273

ew, wtf is this new /tagged formatting???? ugh.

What is something you dislike about the dating world? I haven't dated around enough to have first-hand experience, really. But from an outside view, people don't seem all that interested in serious commitment. Don't fwm if you aren't into the idea of working towards a whole lifetime together. What gives you confidence? Bitch nothing lmao. Have you ever dated someone with very different sexual tastes than you? No. What is the most meaningful gift you’ve ever given? Both Jason and Sara got a huge list of reasons I love them for certain relationship "milestones," both which really did take a long time because there were loads. I did it with each because I really did feel like it was a very personal, uplifting, and full-of-adoration gift, not just for the sake of recycling an idea because I had no others. I have a shitload of romantic ideas, ngl man. Do you feel as though someone ‘won’ in your last break up? Neither of us "won" or "lost," really. It was a mutual agreement that now just isn't the time for a relationship between us. Whatever happened to the first person you ever loved? Sometimes I'm scared to know. Do you still shop at the same stores you liked when you were a teenager? Yeah. Thankfully Hot Topic became more accessible to plus-size people. Is there anyone significantly older than you that you would date? No. I won't go over like... nine years. Even eight it pushing it. Please share your embarrassing and weird celeb crushes. Post pictures. What do you like about them? I don't have any "embarrassing" or "weird" ones. What is something your partner does that is unattractive to you? N/A What is something that would have made the show better/you would have liked to see happen on one of your favorite series? I honestly wish Weed in Ginga Densetsu Weed was more realistic and realized Hougen was worth killing himself. The lightning seemed cheap and anti-climactic. He had EVERY reason to kill him, and it sounds weird to consider killing as a form of growth, but I feel like it would've been. Maybe that's just a personal thing, believing killing is sometimes justified, but it actually annoyed me. Nevertheless, fucking fantastic show. How do you feel about celebrities that are silent about political or human rights issues? Do you think celebrities should use their platform to speak out? I have... mixed feelings. I think most of me says to use their prominence for good, to be a loud voice to look up to and bring greater attention to issues, but at the same time, some people just like/feel safer being non-political. When you were a kid, what child characters did you admire or relate to most? BINDI IRWIN!!!!!!!!!! I still follow and fucking adore her. Y'all she recently got married and she is just so beautiful and so happy and the Irwins are just genuinely angels on this earth. Tell me about a time that you were bored in a relationship (can be romantic or friendship). What was it about them/the situation that bored you? I've never been romantically bored, and not really with a friendship, either. Sure, I've been bored in another's presence, but it was never a consistent issue. Who’s your favorite Tiktoker? I have never even touched it. How high or low is the barrier to entry in your field or desired field? It's tough, but not that high. More than anything, photography depends on who you know to help get you out there, sadly. It's luck, too. There is most certainly skill involved, but yeah... building your brand up to stand out with only your own hands is ridiculously hard. But that's really any small business/self-employed position. Where would you look if you were looking for a job (e.g., indeed.com, company websites, asking a friend…)? I've pretty much always used Indeed, or I hear from family/friends. How much lower than your ideal salary would you take? What would the job have to entail for you to take a less than ideal wage? Hi, I live in America, where the government doesn't give a fuck if you can support yourself on minimum wage or not. :^) But anyway, this is a difficult question to answer with how little experience I have. I can say, however, that I will fucking not work to just barely scrape by with minimum wage. If I'm going to bust my ass, it's gonna be fucking worth it. Even if you were able to support yourself/your own family, would there ever be a situation in which you would choose to live in a shared house with another family or individual, be it your parents or a sibling’s family, or some other housemate? Sure, I wouldn't mind. Especially family. Do bridges make you nervous? To a degree. Are there any movies that you find so dumb, you find funny? Napoleon Dynamite, of course. How often do you vacation? Pretty much never ever. Do you think it’s cruel to leave a live fish to die in an ice box? I am genuinely concerned for you if you say no to this. Have you ever done anything sexual with someone of the same sex? Yes. Have you ever pawned anything off at a pawn shop? No. Do you have stomach abs? OH, HUNNY- Do you know anyone who is trying to physically impersonate a celebrity? No. Have you ever seen a shuttle launch? I mean, on TV, but even then I didn't seriously watch it. Are we having signs of the apocalypse? I don't believe in the "apocalypse." We're going to fall through natural methods. We're definitely heading deeper into destruction in some ways, though, by our own hands. I'm quite sure humans themselves will be the end of humanity. Would you rather see The Blue Man Group or Fear Factor live? BLUE MAN GROUP!!! They're dooooope. Do you have any exciting plans for this upcoming weekend? No. I'm staying in the goddamn house like we're fucking supposed to. What color of colored contacts would you like to have? To wear regularly? Sapphire blue. Ohhh, maybe one that, and the other icy blue. What’s on your bedside table? It's more a shelf than a table, so I have quite a bit. My medicine basket, fan, a drink, books, sketchbook, some other miscellaneous things. What’s on your bed? A bedsheet, comforter, two pillows, and me, ha ha. Your floor besides furniture? Nothing. Your dresser? All my meerkat stuffed animals, plus some others. The top shelf in your closet? Ha, good question. Are there any dead stuffed animals in your house? No. What’s the best prize you’ve won on an amusement park/carnival game? *shrug* Have you ever done anything sexual in a school? No, I was a good noodle. Have you ever been indoor skydiving? No. Would you have any interest in going on a cruise? Not really. What did you have for dinner last night? I made some hot wings. What's your ideal indoor temperature? High 60s, ig. It’s hard to really tell because my room is always the hottest in the house and I have a fan on me, so I don’t really feel the “normal” temperature most of the time. Does your kitchen have a theme? No. What's the grossest thing u have found in your food? Probably nothing worse than a hair or something, idk. Are you a flip flop lover? I am NOTORIOUS for wearing flipflops absolutely year-round. A little bit of snow on the ground? I’m wearing my gd flipflops because they’re just easy to slide on and I care about convenience probably too much lmao. What namebrand dishwashing liquid do u use? … Dawn, I think? I don’t really pay attention. Do you like ice cream sandwiches? UGH yesssssssssss hunty. Do you prefer hard or soft shell tacos? I hate tacos, but I’d definitely rather have a soft shell than hard. Ever worn a flower in your hair? Maybe as a kid? Name five random things in your kitchen? Nothing abnormal, really… no, wait. You know those sticky cylinder things that flies are attracted to and die a slow death for their brazen intrusion upon your property? We have one of those hanging up in there. Magnets and pictures on the fridge is considered pretty normal, right? Name four things in your fridge? Milk, apples, a bigass bag of pepperoni, and some cold water bottles because I strongly prefer cold water. Name two things in your meds cabinet? We’ve got a load… Different kinds of pain pills, things like Pepto, etc. Name six things in your family room? A couch, a reclining chair, the TV, Mom’s bed, loads of pictures on the walls, and uh… sidetables? Name three things in your bedroom? My snake, my bed, and my dresser. Name three things in your yard? A bird feeder that squirrels like to steal from, a random fucking dolphin statue thingy that deadass looks like a distorted dick (it’s been here since we got here, idfk), and two sheds. Name two things in your bathroom? Our bathroom is tiiiny, so very normal stuff. Y’know, a toilet and sink. What health problems do you have? A lot that I don’t feel like thinking through. Fave name brand of water? Essentia. Do you have a trampoline? Not since I was a teenager. The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? Jam to make a pb&j. Do you like clowns? No opinion. Are you listening to anything at the moment? Surprisingly nothing, but Halocene’s cover of “My Immortal” is seeeeeriously jammed in my head. Do you twitch when your falling asleep? YES. They’re more like muscle spasms. Are your dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty? We don’t have one; we have to wash by hand. Buuut that house we’re moving into has one! :’) When is the last time you were on a bicycle? Not since I was a teenager. I used to love love loooove to ride my bike after school. What have you eaten today? Special K cereal and aforementioned sandwich. Do you own a strapless bra? Fuckin Y I K E S that would not work w/ my size lmfao. Does the person you like know it? Ye. Did anything brighten up your day today? Our lawn FINALLY got mowed and the bushes trimmed. We had to tidy it up before we can move. It looked like a jungle, deadass serious. Do you ever wonder how other people see you? Only all the time. What is one good thing you're known for? I write well. How about one bad thing? I’m very dependent. When was the last time you sang an ENTIRE song? Wow, no clue. I rarely sing, never mind an entire song. What is one thing that is currently bothering you? Actually my stomach kinda hurts. What did you do today? Wander around the Internet looking for something to even mildly entertain me, play World of Warcraft for a very brief period since I’m going through a bored phase of it, read for a bit, showered… not a lot, but later today we’re celebrating my mom’s birthday early, actually. Do you consider yourself to be attractive? No. I think my dimples are kinda cute, but that’s it. Do you regret going out with the last person you did? Not at all. Do you realize it when you curse? It’s so normal in my vocabulary that generally, no. I’m very mindful around kids, though. I still remember the first time I said “fuck” in my mom’s presence without realizing it and she just like f r o z e. Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? Yeah, for various reasons. That is veeeeery rare nowadays, though, partially because I’m so fucking bored that I’m just happy to close the day. What's the longest amount of time you've been stuck in traffic? An hour or so is my guess while traveling. I don’t recall any specific instances. Best field trip experience? We went to the zoo!!!! It was the one and only time thus far that I’ve seen meerkats irl. What is the most amount of money you've spent on a meal before? I’ve never really been able to buy my own meal, never mind something expensive. What museums have you visited, if any? Just local ones centered around art or science, generally. What's your worst traveling experience? Idk. Sims 1, 2, or 3? Why? Never played. Not my kinda game. What area of math are you best at? Worst? lol I suck at them all. How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? It’s exciting! Do you believe in luck? Why or why not? No, because I don��t believe in any “magical” influence over events that occur. Shit just happens, sometimes to good people, sometimes to bad people, and everything in-between. How often do you "half-ass" things (put little effort in)? IIII tend to do that a lot.. Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? Not really. Have you ever missed a meeting/event that was required/necessary? You could say so, but it turned out fine that I missed it anyway. What's something that makes you incredibly nervous? Talking to people I don’t know or being alone with a man. If you don't have glasses, how would you feel if you had to get them? N/A If you do have glasses, how would you feel if you didn't need them anymore? I’d be fuckin’ stoked, I could get my undereye dermal without it looking stupid. How many vegetarians do you know? I’m not sure. Have you ever considered going to art school? Does Photography count? I majored in that. Otherwise, no. Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? No, I was always very attentive in class. Are your parents supportive of you? Very.

[kittywolves]

1-200 if you want lmao If not then just your favourites

200: My crush’s name is: don’t have one tbh, not romantically anyway

199: I was born in: west virginia, 2000

198: I am really: dumb

197: My cellphone company is: idk man

196: My eye color is: blue w/yellow bursts but they just appear green if you’re not super close

195: My shoe size is: 7+1/2-8

194: My ring size is: 7+1/2-8

193: My height is: 5′5″

192: I am allergic to: sesame :T

191: My 1st car was: N/A

190: My 1st job was: N/A

189: Last book you read: uh, Percy Jackson? i think

188: My bed is: warm, cozy, full of plushies & cat fur

187: My pet: CALCIFER!!! 

186: My best friend: uh,, i don’t have one?

185: My favorite shampoo is: idk fruity scents that aren’t watermelon

184: Xbox or ps3: PS3

183: Piggy banks are: cute or terrifying, no in-between

182: In my pockets: my phone

181: On my calendar: birthdays

180: Marriage is: cute 

179: Spongebob can: CAN SPONGEBOB FINALLY END PLEASE

178: My mom: can go die 

177: The last three songs I bought were? uhh, i haven’t bought any songs,,

176: Last YouTube video watched: DrawingWiffWaffles newest video

175: How many cousins do you have? 1

174: Do you have any siblings? yes, 2 alive 1 dead

173: Are your parents divorced? no,,

172: Are you taller than your mom? around the same height

171: Do you play an instrument? no, but i wish i could play the harp tbh

170: What did you do yesterday? uh, i went shopping with my mother and then watched Futurama 

[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: ? i dunno anymore

168: Luck: i guess so, yea

167: Fate: yea

166: Yourself: no

165: Aliens: YES

164: Heaven: yea

163: Hell: yea

162: God: ? yea?

161: Horoscopes: not really

160: Soul mates: YESSSSS

159: Ghosts: yep!!

158: Gay Marriage: %100

157: War: no >:(

156: Orbs: what

155: Magic: yep!!

[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs pls

153: Drunk or High: never been either, both sound fun

152: Phone or Online: usually use my phone tbh

151: Red heads or Black haired: all are adorable!!

150: Blondes or Brunettes:  a d o r a b l e ! !

149: Hot or cold: uhm, comfortable warm,,

148: Summer or winter: SUMMER

147: Autumn or Spring: HALLOWEEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

146: Chocolate or vanilla: CHOCOLATE 

145: Night or Day: NIGHTTIME

144: Oranges or Apples: apples 

143: Curly or Straight hair: both are great!! i have slightly wavy hair uwu

142: McDonalds or Burger King: neither >:(

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: MILK PLS

140: Mac or PC: um, idc

139: Flip flops or high heels:  F L I P F L O P S

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: SWEET AND POOR PLS GIVE ME A KIND BAB TO LOVE @ UNIVERSE

137: Coke or Pepsi: coke !!

136: Hillary or Obama: obama!!

135: Buried or cremated: cremated so i can’t come back :’)

134: Singing or Dancing: i can’t do either :(

133: Coach or Chanel: ugh, coach ig

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who or who

131: Small town or Big city: i live in a city, but a town sounds nice tbh

130: Wal-Mart or Target: TARGET

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: what

128: Manicure or Pedicure: PEDICURE PEDICURE PEDICURE

127: East Coast or West Coast: i live on the west, so west

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: MY BIRTHDAY BC I GET TO PICK THE THEME !!!

125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers die and give off the aesthetic but chocolates are delicious so both

124: Disney or Six Flags: i love disneyland it’s just SO EXPENSIVE and six flags is gr8 for the thrills, plus i currently have a pass so

123: Yankees or Red Sox: who? which sport is this[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: blehhhh no

121: George Bush: idk american presidents lmao

120: Gay Marriage: YES YES YES YES YES YES

119: The presidential election: ew

118: Abortion: i’ll allow it lmao, i don’t think it’s great, but ik people will still get it whether it’s legal or not so might as well legalize it. also some cases actually need it so like,, yea!! let it happen!! pro-choice!!

117: MySpace: never used it lmao

116: Reality TV: ew ew ew ew EXCEPT FOR COOKING SHOWS

115: Parents: mine or just in general? bc eh

114: Back stabbers: M U R D E R  T H E M 113: Ebay: lmao shipping expenses 

112: Facebook: haven’t used it in years, do use messenger tho

111: Work: i like wedding coordinating with my aunt!! that’s about all the work i’ve done, oh and i’ve babysat

110: My Neighbors: don’t know em, they probably think we’re crazy tho, always yelling

109: Gas Prices: too!! high!!

108: Designer Clothes: eh, clothes are clothes, and some clothes are ugly (a lot of times it’s designer clothes blehh)

107: College: i mean i guess

106: Sports: go team! hit the ball! score the points! woo

105: My family: dysfunctional,,

104: The future: nooooooooooooooooooo

[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: uhhhhh....

102: Last time you ate: uhm, around 4?? maybe?? it’s 7 now

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: uh?? i never see anyone OH i guess on wednesday last week,,

100: Cried in front of someone: ???? idk??? i cry while everyone’s asleep usually

99: Went to a movie theater: last week !! um, thursday?

98: Took a vacation: uhh, february, early march? i went to ohio

97: Swam in a pool: uh, last monday 

96: Changed a diaper: um, not this year lmao, maybe last year tho idk

95: Got my nails done: ???? i dunno

94: Went to a wedding: last november?? or wait no,, uhm i dunno sometime recently lmao

93: Broke a bone: never! did drop one in water tho :/

92: Got a piercing: december!

91: Broke the law: ?? i don’t wear seatbelts when i sit in the back seat lmao

90: Texted: around two hours ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: um,, my friends

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: MY KITTY BABY

87: The last movie I saw: missing link! the stop motion- i’m a wh*re for animation lmao

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: changing my name, moving out, getting married & having a stable life :’)

85: The thing im not looking forward to: being stuck here forever and eventually kmsing due to stress and depression :’)

84: People call me: Kitty!! Kiki!! (birth name) karebear!! 

83: The most difficult thing to do is: exist within the same room as my mother without bursting into tears or storming off 

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

81: My zodiac sign is: Virgo! Viriborn for all you homestucks! and dragon in the animal one!

80: The first person i talked to today was: my dad :’) and then i messaged @deanilise even tho she was asleep 

79: First time you had a crush: uh, as far back as i can remember i had a “crush” on Daphne Blake :D but i was like a small child and didn’t know what love was so anytime i saw anyone who i thought was cool or pretty or i wanted to befriend i had a supposed “crush” on them :/

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: i try to be pretty open, but sometimes i just wanna close off 

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yikes idk

76: Right now I am talking to: like talking to or talking to? for the first, just some group chats for the second, no one

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: i wanna be an artist! i would love to be a youtube artist, but i fear i’m not creative enough for such things.. i would also like to be able to tell my stories!

74: I have/will get a job: i dunno,,

73: Tomorrow: church

72: Today: overslept, did some chores, been online

71: Next Summer: hopefully i can go back to colorado to visit my brother !

70: Next Weekend: ugh, church activities & then actual church, as well as other easter festivities

69: I have these pets: baby kitty, and some dogs.... 

68: The worst sound in the world: FORK SCRAPING ON BOWL, ERASER SCRAPING ON PAPER, DOG’S SNORING, MY MOTHER’S VOICE WHEN I’M HAVING SENSORY OVERLOAD

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my mother, she’s like the only person that makes me cry unless someone says they’re attempting and i can’t get through to them

66: People that make you happy: @onedirtysock @aliaitee @deku-is-tired @deanilise @awkward-scarfy-boi @fourth-best-jeanist @bnhaworld @bnhya @helloiliketits @trashyfxndoms

65: Last time I cried: last night oops

64: My friends are: (see 66) they’re all very nice & supportive which is amazing & i love them all dearly

63: My computer is: a MacBook air with a galaxy cover

62: My School: not in one but the one i’m gonna go to in the fall is just a community college

61: My Car: N/A

60: I lose all respect for people who: hate on anyone, racists, homophobes, transphobes, pedos, terfs, ableists, etc

59: The movie I cried at was: uh, i dunno, but i was crying abt futurama the other night

58: Your hair color is: orange-y with dark brown roots, supposed to be dyeing it soon :)

57: TV shows you watch: BNHA, HIMYM, Bob’s Burgers, TUA w/ @deanilise Futurama, The Simpsons, Fairytail, Runaway’s, Adventure Time, SVTFOE, etc

56: Favorite web site: Tumblr!

55: Your dream vacation: Ireland,, ofc i always dreamed of going to paris when i was younger, and Britain sounds cool too, & i’ve heard belgium is pretty && japan sounds fun && new york city sounds super cool as well so idk any of those places ig

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: uh, probably when i broke my arm, although i can’t remember it, i did used to get growing pains in my legs when i was younger & could hardly sleep so there’s that option as well

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium-well

52: My room is: messy, but it’s home & also warm

51: My favorite celebrity is: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i dunno

50: Where would you like to be: idk, in my bed ig

49: Do you want children: yea! i wanna adopt!

48: Ever been in love: uh, i thought i was, but it was just an intense crush on this girl lmao

47: Who’s your best friend: already answered this lmao

46: More guy friends or girl friends: girls,,

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: laughing, music, & seeing my friends

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: any of y’all would be great tbh

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: survive 

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: lmao no, 

41: Have you pre-named your children: uh, i have names picked out that i like, but idk depends how young my kid is when i adopt them, and even then idk if i could bring myself to change their name uwu

40: Last person I got mad at: my mother,,

39: I would like to move to: IRELAND OR SOMETHING I DUNNO I WANT OUT OF THIS GODFORSAKEN COUNTRY

38: I wish I was a professional: artist!! youtube maybe!![ My Favorites ]37: Candy: hmm, i like smarties, m&ms, gummy bears, & sweetarts

36: Vehicle: uhh, vw beetles? WAIT NO JEEP WRANGLERS I THINK

35: President: uh idk

34: State visited: the one i live in lmao, California :)

33: Cellphone provider: idk a lot about them

32: Athlete: N/A

31: Actor: eeeeeeee

30: Actress: eeeeeeee

29: Singer: Case! Patrick Stump!

28: Band: FALL OUT BOYYYYYYYYYYY

27: Clothing store: Hottopic

26: Grocery store: N/A

25: TV show: Arrow! Adventure Time! (ripip) i haven’t seen Arrow in a long time tho so idk if it’s still any good...

24: Movie: Heathers!!

23: Website: Tumblr,,

22: Animal: CATS

21: Theme park: DisneyLand! it’s just sooooooooo expensive ;-;

20: Holiday: HALLOWEEN

19: Sport to watch: Soccer!!

18: Sport to play: none

17: Magazine: i don’t read them

16: Book: The Hunger Games 

15: Day of the week: probably friday or saturday

14: Beach: uh, maybe seal? or hermosa?

13: Concert attended: i’ve been to exactly one (1) and i didn’t enjoy it bc it was for Ariana Grande

12: Thing to cook: well you don’t cook them but, COOKIES!!

11: Food: Ice Cream!! Burgers!! Mashed Potatoes !!

10: Restaurant: In-N-Out probably

9: Radio station: 98.7 alt radio 

8: Yankee candle scent: uh i dunno

7: Perfume: Vanilla Bean Noelle from bbw

6: Flower: daffodils 

5: Color: pink! purple! green!

4: Talk show host: no

3: Comedian: Bo Burnham or John Mulaney

2: Dog breed: Retrievers !

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yes!

here’s my baby for reference & for putting up with all that

[tocontinue]

𝐌𝐔𝐍 𝐀𝐁𝐂𝐒 !

tagged by :   Vio uses her Pickpocket Blast! tagging :   the spider that lives in my car’s rear view mirror

a    —    age : 22 years old as of 16 days ago! Life is agony! b    —    birthplace : My mom c    —    current  time :  1:42 PM d    —    drink  you  had  last : Dr Pepper e    —    easiest  person ( s )  to  talk  to : My girlfriend by FAR. I love her :) f    —    favourite  song ( s ) : I can never pick a truly favorite song. I flip-flop between songs so fast it’s not even funny. Rashid’s theme from Street Fighter V is my current song hyperfixation, if that counts? g    —    ghosts ;    are  they  real ? : If not my career choices are fucked h    —    horror  yes ,   or  horror  no ? :  I can’t do jumpscare-heavy stuff, but I’m cool with horror in general. I’ve been keeping up with all the big analog horror stuff on Youtube. None of it’s perfect, but I still like it. i    —    in  love  ? : I’ve been dating Aura for well over a year now and I hope I never stop. She makes me so giddy. j    —    jealous  of  people ? : Naturally, yeah. I’m just not gonna be an ass about it KAJBSCASX k    —    killed  someone ? : Not that I’m aware of l    —    love  at  first  sight ,   or  should  i  walk  by  again ? : Gonna be honest idk what this one means so I’m giving it a shrug and a halfhearted “eh” m    —    middle  name ( s ) : Didn’t have one for the longest time! Girlfriend pointed out I can pick one thanks to the whole I’m Trans I Get To Pick My Cool New Name thing. So it’s Penelope now! Penny would’ve been my chosen name if Viola wasn’t. n    —    number  of  siblings :  2! o    —    one  wish :  Shapeshifting powers. Surprising, given the trans thing, I’m sure /j p    —    person  you  last  called   /   texted : I’m messaging a lot around Discord with Aura and Zac. If that doesn’t count, uh, I think my dad unfortunately? I don’t text much. q    —    question  you’re  always  asked :  I really only leave the house for work, so probably kids asking me if they can go get water during P.E or something. r    —    reasons  to  smile : There’s more good in the world than the news, social media, all that would let on. More people are cheering for you than you might think. And I know that, because you’re probably doing the same for others. s    —    song  you  listened to  last : Some Minecraft song. Aura’s got her playlist running rn, so that’ll change soon. t    —    top  three to four fictional  characters : Proto Man, Mega Man, Tails, Handsome Jack. I think. Maybe. u    —    underwear  colour :   The Goofy Goober underwear from the Spongebob Movie v    —    vacation : In terms of travel? Shit, I don’t even remember. Maybe Wisconsin when I was, like... 12. I don’t like traveling much, I’m too tired for all that. I’d like to go to Florida just to meet up with all my friends out there, though. w    —    when’s  your  birthday ? : June 30th x    —    x - rays :  I don’t play Mortal Kombat, but I hear these are cool. y    —    your  favourite  food : Cheeseburger. Plain beef and cheese. I’m boring. z    —    zodiac  sign :   Cancer!

[mrlsmckinnon]

thirty four    +     photographer    +      virgo      +      enfp

tw: death of a parent, srs illness

spark notes: does yoga every morning, makes the most inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times, has to know the plot of a movie/tv show before she watches it… and in the same vein; always reads the last page of a book first, refuses to go to bed angry, gets obsessive about a task to distract herself from things that’re actually worrying her/important, sticks post-it notes around the house (on the bathroom mirror, on the front door, in the cupboard on a shelf etc.) for her fiancé, plans holidays in her spare time, eats the cream part of an oreo first, could probably live on dark chocolate if she had to, all she’s ever wanted is a house with a porch tbh, was head cheerleader and part of a sorority in college and she dares you to say anything about it, never lets anyone leave her house hungry, loves a monogram, still goes to church on sundays, truly believes sweet tea could save the world.

born and raised in magnolia, she’s your stereotypical modern day southern belle. she will call you sir/ma’am/honey/sweetheart, her hair’s somehow always perfect and her nails always perfectly manicured, she makes peach cobbler to die for, never swears (er, in public), always makes THE BEST distractions when you mess up and she notices (which she always does), FULLY enjoys sending thank-you notes and learnt her most important life lesson from marie in the aristocats ladies don’t start fights but they sure can finish them . basically all rules that her momma ingrained in her. that’s not to say she’s one dimensional and a mary-sue because girl has her flaws. 

she was happy to be paraded around like a little debutante before her mom died when she was twelve years old. her dad ended up remarrying literally a year later and whilst hollie didn’t have an issue with her step-mom, it still made her a little bitter and a little rebellious… so she did her best to get the hell out of dodge as soon as she could. 

she went to college in austin, was def part of a sorority, and didn’t really know what she wanted to major/minor in so she flip-flopped about for the first two years tbh. a girl in her sorority’s mom worked with a high-end fashion designer and managed to score the girls ticket to new york fashion week - and it was there that hollie got scouted by a modelling agency. 

she basically threw caution to the wind and went with it. she dropped out of college, moved to milan and basically started working on her modelling career. which worked out pretty well for her, really, she hit it pretty big and was a pretty big name in the fashion world until she… decided to retire at twenty-eight because she’d gotten bored with it and she was kind of sick of the way the industry treated her??? 

then she made plans to travel the world (literally) with a high school sweetheart of hers who she literally hadn’t spoken to since high school (bc why not) and fortunately for her he ended up being the love of her life. 

after that, she moved back to magnolia and she’s got a pretty happy little life. she runs a little freelance photography business, half in magnolia, half in austin… but turns out she’s a small town girl at heart. she loves hosting dinner parties and having lunch with her girlfriends or getting her nails done. she’s engaged and expecting her first baby too so LIFE IS GOOD. aside from her husband-to-be is actually sick so :) she’s just trying to SMILE HER WAY THROUGH IT. she says she didn’t spend half her life learning how to spell dubanowski properly so that he could go and kick the bucket on her. SO. 

needs: pls pls pls PLS give me a group of super tight girl friends that’ve been friends since they were like…. babies. sisterhood of the traveling pants style. i might even throw up a request but w/e. just friends honestly? she’s a giant sweetheart who likes disney and eating ice cream and… having everyone around for dinner. idk basically everything? maybe some people who didn’t like her back in hs? neighbours? people she’s done photographs for? she’s been back in magnolia for about 5ish years now so?? LOVE HER PLS

[arckhaic]

CALEB. U WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL BEING. don’t be scared, i’m intrigued by all ur recs! i’ve already read and loved the sanderson and night vale stuff (i listen to the podcast too and oOF, it’s been a favourite of mine) & i can already tell we have similar taste so i’m excited to check out ur other recs :’) since u mentioned podcasts on writing and poetry tho, what would u suggest? i listen to Scriptnotes but i’d love to know abt more! thanks so much 💖

i’m always scared, that’s just a fact about me. 

ah! well if you like brandon sanderson then i’d also suggest checking out …. the poppy war by r. f. kuang, long way to an angry planet by becky chambers, ancillary justice by ann lecke, and anything by n.k jemisin — i’ve not read them but i’ve heard really good things by ppl who also loved brandon sanderson. 

for niiiiight vale, house of leaves by mark z. danielewski maybe? lovecraft perhaps? uhhh annihilation / southern reach trilogy by jeff vandermeer …. i’ve read the first half of annihilation and it was p good so far. 

for podcasts, i highly recommend writing excuses! ( guess who’s on it … brandon sanderson … lsdufh and several other writers. ) it’s very very good!! i would suggest starting with season 10 …. they really cracked down on how to write and at the end they give little exercises you can try out. 

also story break where 3 hollywood writers turn an idea into an epic movie pitch. the jar jar one?? i’d watch the h e l l out of that. some are flops but like it’s pretty interesting to see an idea to a full fleshed pitch and listen to them edit it and make it better. it’s silly but honestly it’s interesting!!

versus podcast with two absolutely amazing poets danez smith and franny choi — i haven’t listen … to all of it?? but they interview several poets such as kaveh akbar, hanif abdurraqib, eve ewing, fatimah asghar and others! and franny choi is probably one of my favorite poets ever of all time. edit: they’re currently on break but like a good time to catch up!

poem a day … simple, easy, one poem every day. this is really good if ur just not … reading enough poetry? listen to someone read it sodugh excellent 

short fiction podcasts are also fun such as beneath ceaseless skies ( my fav but the narrator may not be everyone’s cup of tea ), lightspeed, podcastle, strange horizons, clarkesworld ( i don’t like this narrator ): idk i just don’t like her voice ), uncanny magazine are all excellent should you ever want to just listen to some fiction but don’t have enough attention span to read an audiobook 

but like for funsies, i also listen to tanis, rabbits, critical role, the adventure zone, aaaand lore!! 

& ur so welcome!! hope you find something u like!! (bc then u can cry abt it w me)

[woozi]

henlo non anonymous 🌸.anon jdjdjd. also before i forget, you can call me cherie if you wanna. (it's my nickname dhdjdj i realised i never told you my name 💀)

naur djdjjekeke that ooh part always gets me 😭😭 he's so jdjdjdkk. now that you mentioned it i feel like mentioning how the first thing which comes to my mind after thinking about rocket line is the moment during interview they thought they were gonna get hit w bricks 😭😭😭 they're so djdjsk

THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY WAS SO GOOOD THE MV TEASERS WERE ABSOLUTELY BANGER im so impressed honestly! after bambam's svt's medley comes at 2nd, as my most favorite medley this year fr! </3 SONGS TOO 😭 my ranking for now is crush, rock w you and pang/i can't run away are tied djjdjd I can't not choose pang it sounds so cute??? i hope dino is in there tho, i don't understand why he was not included. AND I CAN'T RUN AWAY?? WE'RE GETTING SINGER CHEOL??$+(#( IM SO EXCITED FOR IT 😭 what about you?

the way i had to search for good 4 u because i didn't know which song you were talking about i have 0 knowledge abt olivia rodrigo's songs djjddkdk also not hannah montana 😭😭😭

vocal unit's lyrics tho </3 these are some very sentimental mermans. i saw some tweets of the music show schedules idk how accurate it is but only title track is listed for now :< im really hoping they perform one bside at least. also speaking about performance, svt really gonna rock the big stages with this choreo. the bits only look so so good already ahhh

poor little woof woof hdjejejddk nooo. it's 1 a.m here rn djdj cannot wait to wake up to new era. usually it comes around at noon next day but tomorrow, it's probably gonna be out before i wake up hdjddjkd.

HELLOO??#?# the way i never ever connected these dots. like hao liking tea is not a new info but i didn't think about mbti at all djdjkkd thank you for this enlightening me <3 what would i do without you? mbtis(real) djdjdkdk

HAPPY CB DAY! (missing junhao so much <///3) hope you have the sexiest day tomorrow🔥🎸, yza :3 - 🪂

from now on i'm gonna end these with 🌸 anon KJFDJKFDKJDFKJFD

it's always the first thing i think of when i get reminded of rocket 😭 ALSO WHAT IS THAT AND WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF IT?????????????????

OH MY GOD YOU DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL ABT U BRINGING UP BAM'S MEDLEY BC OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. that was the first time i've seen a kpop act do THAT MUCH for a medley and im so sad people slept on it 😭 i love it SO so much it was so well produced and the tracks were also so good </3 OK BUT ONTO THE SVTEENIES!!!!!!!!!!1 they literally cannot flop huh <3 AND UR CHOICES <3 <3 <3 ur literally so sexy wtf <3 i actually can't rank the songs i love them all sm 😭 ok but i thought i would like icra more and although ITS V GOOD dont get me wrong, it didnt quite live up to my expectations </3 PANG OH MY GODDDDD ON THE FUCKING OTHER HAND!!!!!!!!!!!1 is unexpectedly the track i've been listening to the most. i didn't think it'd slap as hard as it does. the FUCKING PRICKLY RAIN LINE TOOK ME OUT!!!!!!!!!! and since then i couldnt stop listening to it. AND IT'S A WIN FOR US DINO'S V E R Y THERE OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD. i feel like he's grown so much with this album </3 im SO SO SO psyched about him in pang though i hope they perform it </3 ur RIGHT ITS THE PUSSY PART!!! cant wait to see some balloon boys

the way u know absolutely NOTHING about olivia is so sexie to me <3 remain that way <3 JFDJKDFKJDJK (not that she's a bad artist, i just love how u don't feel the need to keep up w media <3)

THE SENTIMENTAL MERMEN 😭😭😭 that made me laugh irl and it's already 1 am my parents are gonna scold me again fdjkdfjkfdj AND U ARE ONCE AGAIN SOOO RIGHT. rmb when boo and mg danced to it before it was released and people were like.... its so easy anyone can do it... IM SO GLAD COUPS CLAPPED BACK BC LOOK AT THIS SHIT??????????/ i'm just watching and i already feel TIRED as fuck how are they even singing. AND YEAH OMG that's one thing i'm anticipating too!! i hope they perform the other songs as well not just in the cb show :((

HOW ARE U ENJOYING THIS ERA <3 <3 <3 <3 WHAT HAPPENED TO U WHEN IT DROPPED GJKFjkfdjkdf

i just like making shit up and sometimes they make sense ngl <3 KJDFKJFDKJFDJK AND THE MBTI (REAL) SCREAMMMMMMMMMMM why are u lich rally so funny i love u sm 😭

HAPPY CB WEEK LOVE <3 <3 <3 sorry i got to this so late i felt like dying with uni work and i still am (only up til this fri tho bc after that i wont have classes for a week straight) <3 maybe that's why they're trying to kill us now JFDJKDFJK thank u for always wishing me well <3 i lov u, i want us both to eat well (idk why im quoting shit now but these tender lines remind me of u and ur vibe and also i just lov u <3)

- 🌸 anon

[wannawrite]

The B In Baejin Is For Boyfriend Material

• who?: Wanna One's Bae Jinyoung • genre: 🌸 • type: bullet point blog navigator. • pure fluff of what Jinyoung would be like as a boyfriend on campus kdlsjskdjsj I'm honestly really terrible at the boyfriend type of content because I'm not good at speculating or assuming how people actually are in real life. But this was fun to do and I hope it isn't a total flop. Thank you for requesting this anon!! - Admin L 

• first of all, regardless of what college you apply to or enrol in, Jinyoung would be super supportive • even if your dream college and his dream college were 200 miles away • luckily, you guys somehow got into the same college • hell yeah • you wouldn't see your boyfriend for awhile because you're too busy packing and getting ready for college • but this is Bae Jinyoung we're talking about   • *ring ding dong* • you peel open the door to reveal a smiling Baejin, hands filled with packing materials such as masking tape • "yah ~ aren't you supposed to be getting ready as well? Why are you here?" • "i'm here to help!" • you sigh and raise your eyebrows at him • then again, you aren't actually complaining about it • who wouldn't want to have your boyfriend around • and helping you • Jinyoung's house is closer than yours to the institute so he doesn't have much to bring to his dorm • he can travel that half an hour every weekend • your situation is different • much different • a dozen of your things are packed and ready to be shipped to college with you • which is practical because you can't be travelling 5 hours up and down every day • you need everything in your dorm • literally • including that cute plushie Jinyoung gifted you on your birthday to sleep with • otherwise, you know you won't be able to fall asleep • your roommate is cool with you pretty much occupying the entire dorm since they too live extremely close to the college • you love your roommate already • let's not lie Jinyoung is probably decent at packing and being neat • sure, he's no Minhyin but he makes an effort to try and help • folds your clothing • realises it's his sweater he thought he lost last Winter • Baejin sighs but smiles and tucks it in your luggage anyway • his baby WILL wear his clothes • stops to observe the things you packed and realises you have like 500 boxes of household equipment • "....love, how much stuff do you actually need?" • "LovE hOW muCH STufF dO YOu acTUALLy NeED" you reply • *insert Spongebob meme* • "you will help me carry it to my room, won't you?" • your voice drips with honey, sickeningly sweet and begging • Jinyoung pinches your cheek gently, "ahh, I can't. I'm moving in two days after you, remember?" • "yah! is that your reason for moving in after?" • a cheeky smile spreads on his face but before you can retort something snarky, he presses his soft lips to yours • packing is forgotten • you are sad you're moving in before your boyfriend does • he doesn't forget your move in date • at first, your parents were going to drive you and your things over • surprise • on that day, it was Bae Jinyoung and  your parents who showed up in the car to pick you • you nearly melted into tears • he lives far away from you so any unscheduled meet up is rare and always makes you cry • bc he doesn't have to make that 5?? 6?? hour journey to and fro • but he chose to • well duh, it's for you • he's that type of person let him live • your parents were in on it too • the car ride to college is one of the more enjoyable ones you have had in your life • Jinyoung is so charming your parents fell for him immediately • he's talking about baking, politics and gardening all at once to both your parents • it's amusing • and you really wouldn't have it any other way • look at your boyfriend and family getting along so well • he bouta be part of the family soon • wink wonk • your parents love him as much as you do • maybe even more • as soon as the car is parked, your parents venture out to sip tea in one of the on-campus cafes, promising to see you before they leave for the long drive back • your legs are so wobbly you can't even stand up straight anymore • pins and needles are a PAIN • thankfully, you have an amazing boyfriend by the name of Bae Jinyoung to assist you in balancing • both of you make multiple trips back and forth, each time the load of boxes seemingly heavier • djosapdkdl you realise it's going to take the entire day even if you started at 7am • Baejin pulls out his phone. "Hi Jay, clear my schedule for today. I'm really busy right now" • eventually, you do finish up unloading and unpacking every box and bid your family goodbye • you let your lips linger on Jinyoung's for a few more seconds than usual • "it's never a goodbye kiss, Y/N." • of course, you are reunited on his move in day • the favour is returned by you helping to carry like two boxes of things   • he only needed three boxes and one bag • wow • don't you love staying nearby • college starts and your life is flung into a flurry • you barely catch a glimpse of Jinyoung throughout the first couple of weeks but you two decide on a schedule • he walks you to your first lecture every odd week • and you buy him coffee after his classes every even week • sometimes, he just calls you out of your dorm to grab a pizza at the restaurant on campus • college isn't like this irl but • picnic dates at the picnic tables outside the cafeteria • cloud watching, enjoying the sun, just conversing and finally! relaxing after all the stress from your studies • Jinyoung takes a ton of pictures to save as his wallpaper • you talk about your troubles and spill everything during those sessions • it becomes somewhat therapeutic • when either of you has a bad day, you call each other as soon as classes end • "babe..." • "hang on babe. grab your coat, we're headed out" • it happens all the time • you grab dinner together and then go for a nice night stroll • such romantic • 110% mood improved • study dates in the library when it's finals season • it's meant to be a date but you guys concentrate so much on your studies and nearly forget each other's presence • the library closes late for night study etc • you're wrapped up in his sweater and poring over your notes, frantically trying to memorise information • whenever you look like you want to tear your hair out, Jinyoung takes your pen from you and scribbles on a post-it before stamping it in your notes • "take care of yourself! i love you. :)" • your binder is covered in those neon stickers and they make your heart melt every time you see them • always reminds you to eat and stay hydrated • buys you 'cheer up!' stationery such as ramen shaped erasers or a pen with a cute design • you never actually use them and you keep them in a special pen holder on your desk • your roommate teases you about it, especially when more stationery is added • when Jin gets frustrated, you always remind him that he is worth it and that he isn't going to screw up • hyping him so his confidence doesn't fall to where it used to be • to Baejin, your smile itself is enough to make his day • it only gets better when you leave handwritten notes and sometimes a small snack in his bag while he wasn't looking • walks in and out of the exam hall exuding confidence • one night, you fell asleep at the library, surrounded by all your books • Baejin can't exactly leave you there yet he doesn't want to wake you up • so he took over the graveyard shift from the student librarian just to keep the library open and operating • so that you could have a good sleep • and so that half the cohort could cram a night before finals • in the morning, you are forced to literally drag him out lest he miss his final • you blush when your friends tell you about his gesture • how extra™ • you shake your head out of embarrassment but your friends find his care adorable • he gets really shy when you confront him about it • "really? was there no better way to solve it? you could have woken me up you know?" • "ahh but if I did, you wouldn't have gotten an A* on your paper? would you?" he teases • hahaahahaha true • since it's after finals, Jinyoung decides to take you off campus on a date • he goes out of his way to obtain a special parking pass for campus parking • idk we have that here so ^ • "jin, wasn't that cafe over there? why are we headed to the carpark?" • you feel a bit overdressed for your usual spot but he told you to dress your best • Jinyoung tightens his grip around your hand and beams with a wink • "we're going off campus tonight, sweetheart" • S W E E T H E A R T • by the way, I should mention that he looks absolutely dashing in his suit and maroon tie • you're practically drooling and thanking God for your amazing boyfriend • he's glad he heeded Guanlin's fashion advice • anyway • you can hardly contain your excitement as it's been awhile since you got a break from the college scenery • when he sees your mouth stretching into a giant smile, Jinyoung can't help but grin too. • he's happy you're elated to the point that it can't be hidden • since he lives in the nearest city which is 30 minutes away, you take time to admire the foreign scenery • wow....I can't believe Jinyoung lives here.... it's so pretty • ....maybe one day that will be your hometown too • MOVING ON • Jinyoung takes you to the finest restaurant he knows • his mum ONLY brought her clients there to eat so he knows it's serious • parks his fancy car right next to the entrance • you're wondering how he can afford it • he's still in college • maybe he's in the mafia? or a stripper? • okay i'm sidetracking again I'm sorry • with your arms linked, Jinyoung walks up to the host and confidently says, "I have a reservation under Mr. Bae Jinyoung, table for two" • A S D F G H J K L • dinner isn't as tense as you figured it would be • there's still laughter, jokes, and small talk about your school life • it feels the same - if you minus the fanciness of the place - as one of your regular dates on campus • no matter what, Bae Jinyoung is your boyfriend. the type of date doesn't change who he is • the walks to class • the on-campus dates • staying up late to cram for finals • helping him with his presentation slides • going to watch a movie at the media centre • visiting his dorms with food in the middle of the day when you found out he had been cooped up in there and refused to eat lunch • thank you Daehwi • you propped your head in your hands, sighing but beaming • one hand reached out to grab Jinyoung's, he didn't complain • your hands intertwined lovingly • "my college days are so much better with you"

[someobscurereference]

i read ur new fic and it was. SO GOOD. but it also. hurt a lot. like the ending was AMAZING and so happy so thank you for that. but i will not lie to u. i read it on the train & was crying through the first half and it. still hurts a bit. which is. your writing is amazing, it takes a lot for a fic to make me cry. however, to help me recover, will u share ur fluffiest nohrian royal/retainer headcanons w me? i have no particular preferences. just need help pulling my shattered heart back together

Aww, I’m really glad my fic affected you so much! Though I’m also sorry it made you so sad. I’m glad you enjoyed it overall though. A bit of fluff right after makes sense, however ;D

You’ve probably noticed by now, but I have something of a bias for Odin/Niles/Leo because Odin is my fav (even though he’s also very cringe-y), so we can start there. 

I’ve mentioned this before, but Niles and Odin absolutely cling to Leo while he sleeps bc they adore him and Leo gets very overheated and Suffers (and I also mentioned that Leo gets lonely at night if they don’t). However, I’m sure at one point Niles teases Leo and says something like, “Are you hot, my lord? Your face is as red as those tomatoes you love” just from the heat and Leo is Very Pleased. (I’m not joking. I believe in FE Heroes Leo has an exchange where the MC? Whoever you play in FE Heroes? Idk, I don’t play it. But somebody tells him to be careful or else he’ll get a sunburn and resemble a tomato and Leo… actually considers it…. This Boy.)

Odin doesn’t talk about the bad things from his original FE13 world and he can’t tell them everything because Secrecy, but once they’ve known each other for a while, he does tell them some things about his childhood and past (which is unusual for any of the Trio to mention in Nohr.) Stuff like how his mother was a cleric, how Elise reminders him of her, how they used to pick strawberries together and she’d read so many stories to him, which probably spurned his love of stories now. Niles’s father and then eventually mother abandoned him, and Leo admits in his supports that he felt no love towards his birth mother. Even so, they both think it’s nice that Odin was so close to his parents and got a little more time with them than they did. (I imagine him telling stories about his dad as well, whoever you hc him as. I usually flip-flop between Henry and Lon’qu, but if you picture Henry, I saw this exchange earlier and thought of them: 

Owain: “Can we visit a haunted house?”  Henry: “What’s wrong with the one we live in?”

*Henry leaves bedroom to let Owain, age 6, sleep alone for the night.* 

Henry was a good father and I refuse to believe otherwise. He just said shit like that sometimes. Which probably would have horrified softer children like Inigo but both scared and delighted adventurous kids like Owain, once he was old enough.)

When Leo falls asleep at his desk, Niles is often the first one to get a blanket and make sure Leo is comfortable. When he doesn’t, Leo often wakes up with ink on his face. 

Once or twice Odin and Niles have gotten into a contest of flashiness and Niles has done things like shoot arrows off Odin’s head. He succeeds, obviously. Niles is impressed by Odin’s ability to stay perfectly still and not flinch when he fires.

In a modern world, Owain loves video games and novels and TV shows and he’ll talk for a g e s about his interests and even when Leo and Niles get tired of it, they let him talk because he’s passionate and happy.

Leo is of average height (maybe tall-ish?) and Niles is probably the tallest of the three (Leo is close, probably). Odin is smol though. (Certainly below average height, though not necessarily tiny. Just small compared to those two). This definitely affects cuddle times and Niles probably once or twice does literally hold something over Odin’s head. Odin is Not Amused.

Camilla/Selena/Beruka

The first time Selena jumps at Beruka to surprise hug her, Beruka absolutely punches her full force in the stomach, not realizing she’s not an enemy. Selena goes down and Beruka realizes what she’s done with a “Hm. Oops.” She apologizes and Selena complains a lot, but she’s just fine, and she promises not to suddenly try to hug Beruka again. Beruka tells her it’s okay though, and the next time it happens, Beruka puts extra effort into keeping still.

Selena gets a chicken in her Supports with Keaton. She keeps that chicken. She raises it and takes it on walks and loves it a lot. It’s Her Chicken. It’s not a particularly loud chicken, though it will begin squawking VERY loudly whenever Selena gets loud herself. It’s like they’re in sync. 

Beruka doesn’t care much for animals but the chicken grows on her. Camilla at first finds a chicken Not Cleanly, but it does start out as a baby chick, so she does coo over it then. It probably does poop on her lap once. The affection went way down then, but Selena adores it, so Camilla puts up with it. (She doesn’t dislike the Chicken as much as she pretends. She sometimes feeds it when Selena isn’t around, after all. The chicken reminds her of Selena.)

Camilla loves pampering her girls. She loves taking them out and giving them nice food and clothes and trinkets. Selena Loves this. Beruka cares not for material things, but she gets the love Camilla is trying to convey. 

Xander/Laslow

I like to imagine Xander is pretty upfront about what he wants to say most of the time, but it is true that he used to be much more nervous and shy in his childhood (like Laslow used to be/is now.) So there are probably times when Xander gets flustered, which makes Laslow flustered, and then they’re just two blushing messes trying to talk to one another over something dumb 

Xander strikes me as a traditionalist, so he finds it especially important to celebrate holidays with family and loved ones and puts a lot of effort into Laslow knowing he’s the love of Xander’s life. Laslow’s heart explodes with love and affection. The day Xander proposes is known as the day Laslow Cried For Four Hours

Laslow isn’t very smooth when he’s trying to use dumb pickup lines (more for humorous effect than anything) but he does eventually give Xander a private show for his dancing. He’s really nervous about it, and when he’s finished, Xander is very sincerely like, “Thank you for showing me.” Laslow is a stuttering mess but then gets heartfelt and admits how dancing brings him closer to his mother. Xander reminisces on his own mother. They bond. 

Peri is a really good cook, so upon request, she may make food for the three of them. It’s always delicious, and Laslow and Xander bury Peri in compliments. They’re all very happy. 

I hope this helped! :)