#idk this show has almost completely gone 2 shit

[tciddaemina]

so i had a dream last night about a svsss bingqiu dating sim story set post-epilogue where Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe hadnt gotten together. idk how that would even be set up but like maybe they stopped Maigu ridge but didnt bone but its still revealed Binghe is into Shen Qingqiu, and now its in the peace afterwards where things have more or less gone back together and Shen Qingqiu has finished his sexuality crisis and decided he absolutely needs Binghe to rail him

and so its this situation of Shen Qingqiu in a dating sim, but his only romance route is Binghe and hes just trying to select the correct dialogue route to getting rawed over the nearest desk except he has no romantic experience except reading godawful stuff like PIDW and so he keeps fucking it up by saying the most unhinged shit, and it keeps making Binghe blush and run away or misunderstand him because hes so used to Shen Qingqiu being dense and misunderstanding all flirting that now that Shen Qingqiu is explicitly and deliberately trying to flirt with him he keeps explaining it away

and so Shen Qingqiu is like tearing out his hair and choosing increasingly more unhinged dialogue options and dressing in increasingly raunchy clothes to try and get Binghe to do something and its just like. 10000% pure crack

And its like

-

Shen Qingqiu sitting across from Binghe, the two them drinking wine together after dinner. The hour is late, the day stretching long and the two of them enjoying their rest after a day of endless meetings. The breeze is sweet with the scent of golden night jasmine, the candle light is dim and intimate.

Shen Qingqiu bites his tongue, an impatient itch running up his spine. It's a fine evening, but he can't enjoy it - all day it's felt like his nerves have been ground down to a find powder. All week, his nerves have been ground down. He just about tastes his impatience now, so thick its grown, its given a physical taste in his mouth.

He glances at the dialogue boxes hovering before him resentfully.

1. BOLD. "This master is tired of waiting. He has wanted Binghe too long." [Lean over and kiss him.]

2. EXTRA BOLD. [Let your actions speak for you! Start removing clothing and reach for him! Get it started!]

3. SUGGESTIVE. "Binghe has been a good boy. Why not allow this master to show his favor?" [Glance demurely at Binghe's crotch.]

4. SLY. "How have Binghe's energy levels been? Is he he still feeling unbalanced from Xin Mo? Perhaps this master can help..." [Offer dual cultivation.]

5. COP OUT. The weather is fine today, is it not?

And Binghe sits up, eyes softening, touched by Shen Qingqiu's concern. A soft ping rings out, an alert appearing in the corner of Shen Qingqiu's vision [+15 affection points]. Still, he appears a bit abashed, ducking his head.

"Ah, shizun need not worry. Mu-shishu has been taking care of this disciple - this disciple has been meditating each morning in the spiritual caves," Luo Binghe says, hurrying to reassure Shen Qingqiu and completely missing the point. "Shizun shouldn't concern himself - he has his own energies to worry about. Has Without A Cure been acting up again?"

Fuck Without A Cure!! Shen Qingqiu almost screams. This isn't about that! Tens of millions of words of Binghe fighting and fucking his way through the plot of PIDW, suave as anything, and yet here he can't see a flag being waved in front of his face! What next? Will Shen Qingqiu get out a flag and wave it, shouting Please fuck me??!!!

Binghe! Please be more conscientious of your poor master and think with your dick a little more!! Where is that insatiable lady-killer when you need him??? Shen Qingqiu is so frustrated he feels like he might spit blood! Please do something about it Binghe!!

Shen Qingqiu just smiles and inclines his head. "It has been manageable," he says, and tries a little harder, attempting to redirect the conversation. "Though... with our energies in such a state, perhaps we might find a way to help one another..." He looks at Binghe shyly over the top of his fan, lashes lowered. He bites his lip, a small thrill of shy anticipation running through him.

Binghe brightens, eyes clearing. He straightens. "Of course!" he says eagerly. "This disciple would be honored in taking over for Luo Qingge in balancing shizun's meridians each week! This disciple will ask Mu-shishu for a lesson on the proper way to circulate energies through the meridians of the wrist!"

So dense!! Shen Qingqiu's jaw twitches, and he almost throws his fan down onto the table. He smooths out his expression immediately, mask serene and implacable. "Ah," he says delicately, because fuck it, maybe he needs to be more explicit. "This master was perhaps thinking another way..."

And Binghe nods, realization washing over his face. "Of course," he says. "If human solutions are not working, but perhaps a demonic method-"

Yes! Like the divine pillar! Please fuck this master! Binghe is finally catching on!!!

"- the demon realm probably has entirely different healing practices and methods! Why have we never thought to look before? Maybe they will have something. Shizun, I will go immediately-"

"That wasn't quite what I-"

"Shizun is so wise! Wait for me shizun! I'll be back before you know it!"

-

Whoops there's a part 2.

[ganondoodle]

as i was awake in the middle of the night for like 2 hours bc i felt sick i had more somewhat random totk thoughts

one being that i really hate how raurus response to concerned zelda is, after sonia died in that almost funny how little impactful it was way, "im sure you are here for a reason" (actually, i hate how often this sentence is used in general to .. idk i guess its supposed to be inspiritational???)

bc what does that mean actually? him saying that to someone who got there absolutely by accident really just sounds like "i dont care go figure it out yourself bc i dont want to think about anything concerning you or your troubles lol" i guess its meant to sound like OOOOH fate has BROUGHT you here bc you have to furfill a role you dont know yet (spoiler its being a sacrifice girl with no personality) and besides me hating the 'inescapable fate' trope in general (at least the way its usually done in these games, which is not to struggle against it but willingly accept whatever you are told and pretend thats good) its really jsut goddamn boring and is really only an excuse to well .. ignore her and her trouble; shouldnt you, if you were actually such a cool guy like the game wants me to believe so bad, do everything in your power to get zelda back to her own world before shes pulled even further into the war you caused now that her only ""mentor"" that could help her get more use of her pretty much useless sudden powers is gone too?? i know shes basically dead wife sonia replacement (can of worms ugh) but it still grinds my gears whenever i think of that cutscene, bc i cant help but hear it as the lamest excuse in existence to not care about her and just kinda .. see what happens which in this case means leave zelda completely on her her own since both rauru and mineru die as well (honestly shouldnt rauru have thought about like .. any plan to defeat gan besides dying himself, given hes the oh so cool and goodest guy king whos only mistake was not stabbing gan the second he stepped into their kathedral castle thing, like even if you had a plan it can still fail but it seemed like he just kinda went in with a handful of people that didnt seem to know each other at all, never got names or faces -or unique voices for that matter- to fight gan face to face inlcuding the girl that came from a different time and had nothing to do with any of this conflict and couldnt even really control her sudden new powers just seems pretty stupid)

thought 2

how totk really feels like botw but for the people who didnt like shiekah tech, its not a sequel, its botw again, but version of only sonau, its like a pokemon game that had two versions but one has weirdly incoherent story and acts like the other never existed jsut as a whole its like retreading the same points but worse, all shiekah tech that was so integral to the world and had such a long history just vanishing and no one caring about any of it like it never happened, HELL the titans were called divine beasts in english but i guess they werent divine or important enough to keep around LOL champions WHO and isntead a never before seen or even heard of race for that matter showing up and planting their ass in every place the shiekah were before, dare i say it feels weirdly manipulative, like either them or some outside force erasing every fact about the ancient shiekah and replace them with sonau stuff bc they are the hot new shit now

this is a point that just doesnt stop bothering me, how the shiekah tech seemed so carefully designed and integrated into botws world and story, its a difficult to keep balance after all, integrating high tech stuff into a medieval setting, but they made it work! and then totk comes around and throws a bunch modern day tech into it puts some vague greenish stone filter on its exterior and call that even better more ancient tech; why did they even bother to make pottery inspired laser shooting spider legged robots so well integrated when they throw a car and rockets into the next game without a thought and call it a day, what was the fucking point

it feels like someone was dead set on having a set of legos thrown into the game it had no place in, if you want players to build whatever they want make a building game instead!! especially if you are just gonna throw it in with seemingly no consideration how out of place it feels togehter with the fACT THAT YOU ALREADY HAD AND ANCIENT HIGH TECH CIVILIZATION WITH A VERY DISTINCT AESTHETIC THAT WAS ALREADY WELL INTEGRATED INTO THE WORLD YOU ARE PLANNING TO REUSE WITH ALOT OF MYSTERY AND UNKOWN STUFF ABOUT THEM TO EXPLORE FURTHER YOU COULD HAVE USED!! but i guess they just "didnt want to play with you anymore" and that so much so that they went out of their way to erase every trace of it, i dont think the words shiekah tech are ever used in the game, and the purah pad and her towers just drive me more isnane bc they are the same shit but called different and also much worse, liek the purah pad isnt some more developed shiekah stone, no its a glorified camera with a teleport function and thats it

(i know i said this before but i really cant stand how obsessed every single NPC is with sonau shit, you get told to your face every second line of dialog that they are so cool and are so mysterious that it just makes me annoyed of them even more, the game is obsessed with shoving them everywhere and telling you over and over you too should obsess over them, they werent weird like that about the shiekah stuff in botw?? the biggesst talking point in botw was calamity ganon ..... which makes sense and in totk its like ... gan is mentioned what, in a newspaper article??? once???and then not even by name i think???)

aside from that big point which will never let me go, its also just .. its not moving forward anything, it actively walks BACK the progress that was made in botw, call me dumb but i dont really count moving one step up in the social roles of each race as a character development (for the side characters like the champions desc- ahem SAGES) but mainly zelda ... god how dirty she was done, totk pretty explicitely makes her regress any development she made in botw aside from she likes link uwu and some people like her too, but also not enough to notice that that weird zelda being all evil and weird isnt her (INLCUDING THE CHAMP- SAGES WHO YOU ARE SUPPOSEDLY FRIENDS WITH??? you dont have to be a genius to pick up on that my god, were you all given the mc dumbo potion or what)

she gets put back to square one, back into the little itty bitty princessy maiden role forced upon her by her royal parentage, this time rauru edition, back into a white little dress, back into the scared puppy eyed teenager, back into a situation she cant handle, back into losing everyone around her (tho honestly botw made me care more about rhoam than totk did about rauru), back into being forced to do a big sacrifice- but worse actually

in botw she went to FIGHT AND HOLD GANON IN THE CASTLE SO LINK HAD TIME TO RECOVER AND IT WOULDNT DESTROY THE LAND!! and you are telling me in totk rauru takes up her botw role and she bascially killed herself to ... restore the mastersword.

......... she ... she did that only to be a glorified version of the stone pedestal in the forest. and then she gets returned to normal itty bitty girly no problem via magic sparkle beam at the end and

DOESNT

EVEN

REMEMBER.

it really is just botw but worse, you even get yet another ghost king of hyrule to guide you around (rhoam did it better fight me ... we dont talk about the questionable choice to make himself darker skinned when posing as just some guy)

i honestly dont think i was ever truly taken aback by anythign that happened in botw, while in totk, the further i played, the more i had to fight with myself to keep the feeling of unease, disappointment and betrayal down

its such a god damn shame, totk should have stayed a DLC, i will forever mournfully dream of a game that explores more of the ancient shiekah, doesnt erase integral parts of the world, developes characters more instead of making them regress back and make them end up even less developed than at the start of the game, dives into buried secrets and mistakes of dark pages of history without giving into a weirldy nationalist(imperalisitc?) narrative and lets characters have some agency for once

if it werent for the yiga i might have actually considered refunding the game, just to be at peace with myself

anyway, aboslutely incoherent word vomit.

[thepixelelf]

do u know nct?? if so, jung jaehyun and cupid au?!!! if not then au where wonwoo is a regular dude and also the subject of a Prophecy against his best wishes? idk i hope these are fun!!!

I genuinely don't think I could characterize jung jaehyun if I tried... but I can do reluctant Normal Guy wonwoo!! I hope you like it :]

[mr chosen one] It's been three weeks and six days since Wonwoo met the most annoying person in the world. Three weeks and six days since Wonwoo's been able to relax. Three weeks and six days of your constant pestering.

You call yourself the oracle. Whatever the hell that means.

All Wonwoo knows is that you showed up at his workplace out of nowhere as the "social media manager". Why would a company that sells Tupperware need a social media manager? Wonwoo still doesn't know. He's pretty sure you just wormed your way in to complete your life's mission-- annoying the shit out of him.

The first day, you'd leaned into his cubicle and whispered, "Hey. You're Jeon Wonwoo, right?"

And when he hesitantly nodded, wondering how the hell you already knew his name since he was one hundred percent sure he'd have nothing to do with the company's social media, you beamed.

Smiled so bright he thought he might go blind, and said, "I knew I'd find you."

Ever since that first day, you've been telling him over and over again how he's supposed to save the world.

Step number 1: find the king -- whoever that is -- in the heart of the fire.

You haven't told him who the hell "the king" is because apparently, you don't even know. And the whole "heart of the fire" thing is fuzzy to you as well, even though you're the one who said that out loud in the first place.

Step number 2: behead the king.

Yeah. Sure.

"And where am I supposed to get the sword for that?" he asked you nonchalantly a week into your nonsense, his eyes not leaving the spreadsheet he was working on. "Amazon?"

You just shrugged. "You can get anything on Amazon."

Step number 3: bear the crown under the weight of stars.

Whatever that means.

"You can't just say no," you asserted two weeks in. "This is your fate."

"I'm good, thanks." Wonwoo poured himself a mediocre black coffee in the break room, where he'd gone in the hopes of avoiding you. He didn't offer you any.

You crossed your arms. "The world is at stake."

"If the whole world is about to explode, I'm pretty sure you've got the wrong guy."

Almost four weeks of this weirdness, and maybe Wonwoo should've gone to HR by now, but it sounds a little trivial, even to him.

Hey, HR, my coworker keeps telling me I'm part of a world-saving prophecy and is convinced I need to go on a journey. I want either for them to be fired, or a couple weeks off so I can go save the world. Thanks.

Yeah, no. Instead, Wonwoo just braces himself for another day of your pestering.

...Which doesn't happen.

At the halfway point of the first peaceful lunch break Wonwoo's had in weeks, he realizes he hasn't even caught a glimpse of you all morning. He revels in that feeling for a bit, almost embarrassingly gleeful to sit in silence and eat his cup-a-noodles.

Then the afternoon goes by, and you've still yet to meet your annoyance quota for the day.

Wonwoo is happy. Yes. This is good news.

You've finally gotten over your delusions, and he won't have to deal with you anymore.

He's poking his head in Seungkwan's cubicle before he realizes he's doing it.

"Oh, them?" Seungkwan says when Wonwoo asks about you. "They left. They told big boss man we had no reason to employ a social media manager in the first place and got themselves transferred to a sister company."

Wonwoo blinks. "What?"

"Shouldn't you already know? You guys were hanging out like every day."

After that, Wonwoo walks back to his desk in silence. Awkward silence.

Why doesn't he like the silence?

When he sits down, there's a yellow sticky note on his keyboard, which he swears wasn't there when he left.

He wouldn't recognize your handwriting, but he knows it has to be yours.

Fine. I'll behead the king myself.

Wonwoo pinches the note between his fingers, and he remembers the conversation he had with you just the day before.

"It sounds dangerous," he said, focusing on the photocopier in front of him.

"Oh, it will be." You were leaned against the doorjamb. Always close by. "You'll be dodging death at every curve in the road."

"Delightful. I think I'll sit this one out."

The note gets crumpled in Wonwoo's fist. He grabs his coat and takes swift steps toward the elevators.

"Where are you going?" Seungkwan calls out when he sees Wonwoo practically run past his cubicle.

Wonwoo presses the down button before he rethinks and moves to the doors to the stairwell. He yells back, "I have no idea!"

He really doesn't.

But you said all that stuff about fate-- if it's really meant to be him that saves the world...

His footsteps, in whichever direction, will take him to you. Through fate or whatever.

At least, he really, really hopes so.

[izzyspussy]

Hi Jack! Some totally random questions to take your mind off things -

1. Ian and Mickey have saved up enough to take a short vacation. Where are they going?

2. What weird/fun/silly ways do they decorate their West Side apartment?

3. Who controls the radio when they drive around for work?

4. What kind of takeout do they get so regularly that the restaurant knows them by name?

5. Are they still wearing the camo outfits for work? And how many times has Ian gotten distracted by Mickey wearing camo?

1. They bicker about going to various tourist spots around the country for weeks, interspersed with both of them at some point doing the pengu pout and saying Well Now I Just Want A Staycation - until finally Ian asks Mickey to take him to Mexico and show him around. Mickey reminds him he wasn't exactly having a fucking gap year abroad or some shit, and that if Mickey really does "show him around" where Mickey went a lot of those places are going to be dangerous and not strictly legal, and Ian says something unbearably sappy about how that makes it Perfect For Them, so much more than any Normal vacation.

2. I don't know basically anything about the west side place, and I really haven't decided what kind of living situation they end up in as Grown Up grown ups in the secret version with nothing I don't like in it that exists in my head yet. However, I think Mickey is a closet dork, and once he can afford it - both fiscally and emotionally - he starts collecting and displaying nerd shit. Specifically I'm thinking he's into X-Men and also pro wrestling, the latter of which is not exactly dorky in the same way BUT we're counting it here because he observes his affinity for it with the same type of nerd shit. He's got mini-figures (NOT lego, I'm talking like D&D model style minifigs) - wait hold up I was looking at the WWE site for ideas on what Mickey would have and discovered the action figures are Mattel branded. So yeah uh. Mickey gets X-Men and WWE Mattel branded action figures, and then gets force-Barbiepilled by The Algorithm qohugakaogks. ANYWAY. Re: decor, there are LED-lit glass shelves in the living spaces with Mickey's action figures on. Ian got him a "matching" set of Van Damme and Seagal for an anniversary, and they have a place of honor above the TV. Every now and then they will ~mysteriously~ end up posed as if they are fucking; both Ian and Mickey always blame this on the other.

ETA: At some point they're looking after one/some of the various children, and the action figures and Barbies get played with (while Mickey pretends very, very badly to be okay with it until he sends himself out of the room so he doesn't yell). Ian is also not paying attention; kid is being quiet but not too quiet, that's all he cares about. Then, after the kid is gone and things are picked up, they realize the Seagal action figure has been put into a Barbie wedding dress (dON'T ask Mickey why he has that!!). Mickey is quite disgruntled by this, and Ian laughs so hard - at the combo of the actual doll situation and the look on Mickey's face about it - that he almost makes himself sick.

3. I REALLY know nothing about their work, but uhhhh. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his pie hole.

4. There's this south side taqueria, maybe a hole in the wall or maybe a food truck. Even if/when they do move away to a better area, nothing beats it. Hell, even if they moved out of town entirely, they'd travel for it. I think I want there to be some kind of loyalty there that isn't just for the quality of the food (which is impeccable regardless). Maybe the owner would give one or both of them free food back in the day, or maybe had an opportunity to snitch on them but didn't, or idk their wedding is completely different To Me but there could still be some mishaps and such so maybe this place was the only one that agreed to cater day-of, or Terry like "blacklisted" Mickey from a bunch of locally owned places under Threat Of Terry and this place was one of few that would still serve him, or whatever. Like, the food itself is phenomenal and they'd have already been eating there previous, but then there was some personal element too that made it Their taqueria. They know everyone there by name too.

5. Mickey has never worn a single stitch of camo ever in his life :)

[youredreamingofroo]

The Roo-seum...

group pics and other stuff under the cut! (just to avoid flooding the dash lmao)

CAS pics in the NEXT POST

Now onto me ranting.

The Roo-seum is a 16 sim project that's consumed me for the last couple of days (in a good way), this explores most of Roo's lifespan (not implying he's dead LMAO), from the age of 9 years old, up to now, 28 years old, talking about what he went through for each year (for the most part anyways), of course, I didn't start at 1 or 2 years old, mainly because, way back when I made all of these Roo's (roughly back in July '23, this is not an idea that suddenly sparked, I only acted on it because I have a way to show off each age that isn't a Picrew lmao... I can't draw well so I just used TS4), I made them in Picrew, which... at the time couldn't find a Picrew with kids/babies so the youngest I went was around 9 years old, and just built up from there.

Roo is my persona gone OC, around 5 or 6 years ago, I put on this persona of "Roo", which started as "The Unfortunate Roo" and Roo's (or Mine, since this was technically a Persona, doubling as an OC) design was COMPLETELY different back then, He wasn't a he, the design was a sucubus I think, I don't really recall and I really couldn't care for it, it's embarrassing 💀 I don't remember how he came to fruition, but I remember finding this one picrew that I LOVED, and I used that picrew to create ~Roo~, his initial design was akin to the 22-23 year old Roo, there's a lot about his design that I could talk about but will avoid doing so, but just know that his Sims design isn't super on the dot to what his actual design is supposed to look like.

So... what's Piametia?? Why did you come up with that?? How did you come up with that?? To be honest, I never actually came up with a name up until yesterday when writing the note for 10-12 year old Roo, I don't really remember what sparked me to come up with a condition that "has the Patient suffer a sudden loss or gain in pigmentation and melanin in the eyes and hair," I guess 17 year old me thought it was cool, and it is! It opened up a new story for him, where I couldn't provide story (for someone without Piametia), like how being affected by Piametia caused him to go from extremely accepting of himself, to getting bullied into "normalizing himself," While he achieved this, it was really in vain, because he was still bullied for his condition, but as he grew older, out of his teen years and into adulthood, it bothered him less and less, because, well, shit like that doesn't fucking matter, sure it still bothered him, sure it still traumatized him to some degree, but it's just what some stupid kids say, it doesn't determine what his worth is, and he understands that, so after recovering from almost ending his life, he realized that something had to change, he couldn't live in this wallowing ball of agony because some kids determined "hey! That kid is different! They're no longer as cool as we are! Get him!!"

I should also mention that he didn't develop Piametia til he was around 9 years old, which is exactly what the condition does, it's genetic (although it never occurred in Reese or Virginia, the only reasonable conclusion was that it skipped a generation) and it's drilled into the person's DNA and only takes effect before puberty (in the average kid). So Roo was considered a part of the other kids' little cliques and stuff, but only until his hair and eyes changed color.

I kind of hyped this up to be something extravagant and maybe it is, idk, I don't have the eyes of the audience, I'm just a guy who made this and I have a rather critical view of my work sometimes, I try not to, but force of habit lmao. I really liked making this because Roo is an OC who has grown with me, mainly because he's both a persona of me while also being an OC, so where I change and grow, he often reflects that change and growth, in his own ways of course, I often wish he was real, but he's not and that's the harsh reality. Also gonna clarify that his life does NOT completely reflect mine, I'm only 18, he's ten years older then me lmao, where he was 8 I was 10 years to be conceived- Roo is still his own character, he's had his own relationships, all of which have went poorly (reflecting my own), and even had his own stalker (which escalated)- But parts of his life like when he became extremely homophobic of himself and who he truly was is not reflective of myself, I never had that stage in life (whether you did or not however is not a bad thing unless your actually just homophobic, then gtfo like?? 😭).

I went on a rant there, and I probably could've kept going, but figured I should stop at some point lol, but I hope you guys like this, I sure LOVED making this and I love doing Roo related things and posts. I also provided text in the image descriptions in case it's hard to read in the images (I tried to keep it as clear and readable as possible), and in case anyone who uses a screen-reader finds this post :)

[reidslovely]

idk My maladaptive daydream scenarios have been thinking about Toxic! Peter and whatnot.

Like him being like that bc of Gwendy’s death (but before he was like that too- with there on and off relationship 😒). So him and reader have an on and off thing going on and reader is tired of his shit and finally breaks up w/ him . And at first he’s like “pssh yeah whatever” but a few months to a year go by and he realizes how bad he fucked up. Maybe he gets Spider-man to woo her over or maybe jus regular old peter.

Sorry this was so long, like I said it was a maladaptive day dream scenario so its been on reply in my mind. I really love your writing by the way and hope you’re back for our Spider-boy like you said in your post 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

hi friend!! i am back for our spider-boy and i'm so sooo happy to be back thank you guys for welcoming me back 🩶🩶🩶. and honestly...toxic peter has been on my mind too recently especially after rewatching tasm 2 because what the fuck peter???

he dumps gwen after graduation and he's so pathetically lonely and yeah he follows gwen around but it doesn't really do anything for him. so he wonders off and finds some fucked up solace in his next door neighbor who had always had a thing for him. he just shows up on her doorstep playing the role of kicked puppy so well, she can't help but to let him back in and let it be how it was before Gwen came in senior year and she got all of his attention. Peter takes her on romantic dates, sweet long kisses, fun jokes one week but the next it's like she doesn't exist to him (definitely slips up calling her gwen on occasion.) especially after he and Gwen start talking again, but Peter still has her on the side.

One night he's ready to sneak in her window, that she usually leave unlocked for him, ready to make up being gone for so many weeks. But it's locked. He knocks on the door, his eyebrows furrowed motioning to the lock pulling it, but not hard enough because he could easily break that lock if he really wanted. "baby open the window come on." he teases. "I said I was sorry, come on."

he's playing kicked puppy again, and she almost lets him in. "Come on she doesn't want me, you do." "that's the reason you want me. you don't love me peter, you don't even know me anymore." "you're being fucking ridiculous" he laughs waiting for a moment seeing her not even budging from her spot on the bed. "open the window (y/n)" he says his voice loosing its humor. "go home peter, im over it." she said closing the curtains on him. and he doesn't care. at least he convinces himself he doesn't care. it was her loss, he was a fucking catch. all he did this whole time was respect her and she was blowing this up. except till the one person he had outside of her dies right in front of him. he lost gwen completely this time, there is no comeback there is no way to redeem himself. and he actually starts to see the monster he's become. he hurt gwen multiple times and she was still willing to give him the benefit of the doubt every time. he even thinks of (y/n) time to time and how badly he treated her because he was wrapped up in himself and what was best for him. he watched her a lot in his six months of bedroom grieving, like how he would with gwen. he watched her sit out on her roof writing or doing work, he watched her leave for work and come home at night. they locked eyes one night when he was standing on his roof, about to change into the suit for the first time in months. he thought he even saw her smile at him like she used too. it definitely take a toll on him because though this alone time was needed to help him process, but he missed being cradled by her. missed the way her hands tangled in his hair, missed when she'd laugh to make him smile. he did miss her, but she'd never accept that. it takes three weeks to the day, till he is on her window again, sweat clung to his forehead, his mask torn and exposing crucial parts of his face. he didn't even get to knock on the window before she's helping him in, sitting him on the floor pulling the mask off his face. he's crying from pain and regret, apologies spewing out of his mouth. she gets the mask off his face, asking him what he needs. He shakes his head holding her hand that's on applying pressure to his bleeding ribs. "need you." "god even in times like this all you wan.." "-to forgive me. 'm sorry so sorry. I do..do care about you. you're the only person I wanted..wanted to see-" "you're gonna wind yourself peter, we can talk about this later. what do you need?" "like fifteen tylenol, my body will heal it's self." she, though argues him not needing to take that many tylenol, gets him what he asks for and helps him change while wrapping his ribs. they end the night with heartfelt conversations, and peter swearing he'll spend the rest of his life making this up to her, and showing her what he really deserves.

yeah..this has been brewing. so sorry if you were not asking me to write, I started and couldn't stop lmao thank you for sharing your daydream with me friend and trust me no worries about the length I'm also longwinded 🫶🏼

[in-sistant]

Idk if I'm gonna get witch hunted for this but I've had this opinion for a long ass time now and have mentioned it here and there but never on my Tumblr Prickcest being canon would ruin Rick's whole character. Like completely and entirely butcher him, with 0 "Well he still-" Butcher. 0 wiggle room, 0 exceptions, every reason we have to pity him would be gone and he would not be "The Rickest Rick" for any other reason other than him just being the Rick we follow in the show. (People shipping it outside of canon is whatever, headcanons are headcanons, Birdrick isn't *technically* canon and I live off that shit, we all have our things - this is strictly if it were to be canon) Prime killed Rick's family out of spite bc Rick *wasn't like other Ricks*. Not being like other Ricks would entail that our Rick: 1. Would not abandon his family 2. Would not cheat on his wife 3. Would not like other Ricks (Since Prime says "Surrounded by the only people we like") Rick cheating on his wife, with a Rick no less, WOULD MAKE HIM LIKE OTHER RICKS. Therefore he was never an outlier and his whole revenge mission is?? For what?? You didn't love your wife enough to not cheat on her, so.. Boohoo. It would ruin the entire complexity of his character and how Prime's whole goal was to degrade him and turn him into a regular Rick. We pity our Rick bc he's the only Rick who cares. Other Ricks are afraid of him bc he's motivated by that care and not himself. Our Rick now, since Prime has almost entirely degraded him, would absolutely fuck another Rick, but Rick beforehand? Never. Especially if it meant cheating on his wife. Like are we just gonna retcon the biggest point of Rick's character?? "Oh but maybe he regrets it now that his family is dead-" The Rickest Rick would not have cheated to begin with.

[thegeminisage]

ok we watched the tng pilot. let's get into it

data is my best friend on this show and i love him

i liked riker but jonathan frakes looks like a baby without facial hair. he's gotta grow that in. also, at one point he asked someone a question and i got really excited. he should ask more people more questions i think thats what jonathan frakes was born to do. that and sit in chairs with style

also liked geordi even though we only saw him for 3 seconds and worf even though same.

the sections with q draaaaaaagged. ik people like q and whatever he has going on with picard but i'm just not there yet. this "humans are NOT savages anymore" plotline has been played out in tos many times to better effect

actually shocked picard was such a dick. idk why i was expecting him to be more kind maybe i was projecting professor x onto him?? but he kinda sucked lol like what was EVEN going on w his little pissing contest with riker

love and light, there should not be children on a starship. space is fucking dangerous. they're literally boldly going where no one has gone before. these kids could get hurt

the ship??? splits?????????? IS THAT LEGAL????

ok, furthermore, sorry, speaking of kids, not to be a misogynist but out of the 3 ladies (troi, crusher, and yar) i dislike 2 of them. love and light to deanna troi but i really hope she gets something to do besides emote and go OH THE PAIN...her look was slay. i understand completely how she turned women gay. give her something to do. give her a chance. i know she could be good.

i didn't mind dr crusher until she let her kid on the bridge even though you're not supposed to do that and they told him to touch nothing and he proceeded to touch everything and then she got mad when picard got mad. picard spent 70% of this episode being a dick and the one time he was justified she was like :/ wow you're such a dick. lmao. girl come on he literally said don't touch anything he was already being nicer than he had to be. the child was in the wrong children shouldn't even be on this ship

also they talk about wesley like he's their affair baby. idw if its true but nobody tell me. let me believe it. wesley crusher destined to suffer through male pattern baldness

also, i can see now why you're not supposed to date your ship mates. dating them is fine but being exes with them is excruciating and we had TWO PAIRS this pilot

anyway. tasha yar was rad i DID love her.

it's weird though how many of them use first names...in tos sometimes they didn't even use last names, only titles. spock called bones "doctor" almost exclusively. so riker calling geordi geordi after like 5 minutes of knowing him was a little weird

i cried when bones showed up. sue me. his prosthetics were terrible and i already miss him so much.

SPACE JELLYFISH. that part was good

overall both the adventure and the interpersonal stuff was a little ????? which is like. you can flop on one or the other. i DO have faith it will get better but i feel kind of lukewarm on it so far

there's a lot of direct counterpoints to tos, but it's shuffled JUUUST enough so it feels like it isn't copying tos's homework word for word but rewording it to trick the teacher. for example, data is like spock in that he doesn't understand emotions or whatever, but it's actually the inverse because spock understands and pretends not to, while data truly doesn't understand but wants to. then you have deanna troi who's sort of filling in for the other thing spock used to do, which is give us general impressions about unknown alien life, but she SPECIFICALLY does it through emotions so she doesn't resemble spock too much. the captain and first officer have a lot of scenes together but they're tense so it doesn't look too tempting to the slash fans. the doctor is still a bit grumpy but she's a woman this time. they don't use tricorders but geordi's special prosthetic helps them see all that shit anyway. it's tos but shuffled. lmao that it took 2 people to replace spock <3

anyway my favorite part, aside from the part bones was in, was when riker and data talked in the holodeck. and riker was like actually yeah the fact that you're a machine DOES make me uncomfortable. and data is like well i am superior but i'd like to be human actually! and you could see the little gears in riker's head turning and later he called data friend. i liked that and i love data. i love data he's very important even though the pilot wasn't good i think i would keep watching no matter what for data. and i knew it would be like that.

[sannoh-rengokai]

The Worst X Reaction:

Boyfriends, boyfriends everywhere.

Maybe spoilers ahead, if you haven’t seen it yet.

Things I liked:

THEY FINALLY GAVE TSUKASA A REAL ROLE AND STORYLINE 🙌 If you’ve read my reaction to The Worst, you know the lack of depth for Tsukasa and his friendship with Fujio was one of my biggest gripes. I didn’t like the series telling us they were best friends and partners but they never actually showed us their bond. There was no substance to their friendship and I hated it so much BUT THEY HEARD MY COMPLAINTS FIXED IT. Not just on the Tsukasa/Fujio friendship but also on the complete under utilization of Tsukasa as a character. Like the guy was literally the main character in Episode.0 then he was just... there... for The Worst? There was almost no point to him as a character especially after they brought in Fujio’s childhood friends (and yes, I’m still mad about that lmfao) but this time around they actually gave him some depth. Fujio might be the leader but Tsukasa is the core and heart of Oya High and I won’t hear anything different. (I still haven’t seen 6 from The Worst so if this changed before X whoops lol)

If Murayama could see Todoroki now, he would lose his goddamn mind lmfao. TODOROKI SAYING HE HAS FRIENDS TO PROTECT NOW??? I have been waiting SIX YEARS to hear those words coming from his mouth AND IT FINALLY HAPPENED AND HE CALLED FUJIO “HIS” LEADER ON TOP OF THAT? I’m crying my baby boy is all grown up 😭💕 This is the most character development he’s gotten since season 2, where is Murayama to see this?!?!?

“Fishing buddies” Todoroki and Odajima. Listen, LISTEN. I expected like one jokey throwaway line about them being fishing buddies but then I got a full fledged genuine friendship between them?! I’ve been fed, this will fuel me for an eternity. I ship it so much.

Odajima being That Guy for Housen while Sachio is away. He got so much screen time I was shocked lol.

I really liked the way the Raoh storyline went. I figured they were going down this route when they kept stressing the ~legend~ of Raoh then I knew the moment Fujio saw the orphanage he was going to crumble like a wet paper bag for him lol. 

I said this on a personal post but the innocence of this movie compared to The Worst or the main series was really cute. Like, sure they’re being violent little shits but it was purely about teppen and they kept it between themselves. There was no secret drug rings or yakuza, just a bunch of dumb kids being dumb kids. I’m just saying it was nice to not fear for their lives for once lol

Things I didn’t like:

They could have gone a bit farther with the Fujio/Tsukasa friendship still but I’ll let it pass this time around.

Amagai doesn’t deserve Suzaki and no one got to call him out on it. He should have actually stabbed Ryo and showed real remorse if they wanted me to believe he cared about him. I don’t believe it. This is poor writing. This is my issue with Fujio and Tsukasa all over again lol

The repeated scenes from The Worst were a bit meh. Did we really need everyone’s healthy partner to get hurt this time around?

I think that’s it? Idk I don’t take these movies too seriously on the plot side, just the character side and that was chef’s kiss this time so I loved it!!!

Also people who don’t like ~the power of friendship~ cheesiness need to find something else to watch. It’s been this way since season one??? What have you been watching? It’s saved Noboru, Murayama, Hyuga, Chiharu, Kohaku and literally (almost) everyone since then. Hello????? How do you make it this far into the series hating the power of friendship? lmao 

[congratsloserr]

obx s4 spoilers and my 5 opinions no one asked for ahead:

okay so I have zero friends and I can’t keep talking to my sister about obx anymore or i’ll be talking her ears completely off so here are my unwanted opinions😭

1.) i’m actually enjoying this season more than s3. I genuinely can’t even go back and watch s3 bc everyone is so off and awkward. you can literally feel the tension through the screen. but in this season everything is wayyy better like it feels almost like s1 again again to me personally.

2.) idk if im feeling luke not being jj dad storyline…like it would make way more sense if luke was his uncle or way older brother or something but he was literally getting abused for no reason at all. Also it would have been better if in s3 luke would have said “im not your real dad jj” then left because tbh I forgot all about him until jj found him at that guys house😭. then jj getting the letter and finding luke would have been more intense. also I hated the part where luke was like “well isn’t it obvious?” like no?? not at all actually😭 even rudy said he was confused by this LMAO like it doesn’t make any sense to mess with jj’s character now when it’s about to end.

anyways my fault for the rant but I hope that makes sense like overall I just hate that luke abused jj for no reason but also the fact of how random it is. like i’ve seen almost everyone’s theory on how we did get hints throughout the show but none of them are adding up.

3.) this one is more for the fandom rather than the show. so as yall may or may not know im in love with rafe just as much as everyone else BUTTT I will not excuse all the shit he has done. everyone is making excuses and is mad at sarah for not speaking to him but are completely forgetting that he would their lives a living hell.

not only has he tried to kill sarah 3-4 times but has beat up pope what 3-4 times as well, beat up jj, killed peterkin, framed john b, stole and melted the cross. oh also tried to kill his dad I forgot about that.

like he’s not some saint because he’s hot, the reason why sarah won’t speak to him (or why all the pogues are scared of him) is all HIS fault and no one else’s (ward is part of the problem but in the end of the day he’s been grown since the start of season these were/are his own decisions)

yall are treating him as if he can do no wrong. he needs to truly prove himself to sarah if he wants his family back because his actions are unacceptable. like yall pitying him because he’s sadly looking at her at beach and their pictures together like please.. it’s laughable how yall just forgetting how insane he was.

4.) on a better note for rafe, im actually really loving him and sofia together but im not sure how long it will last. she’s obviously making a difference in his life and he’s listening to her BUT she did go behind his back about that deal. now im wondering if she will tell him and they “break up” (he said they are just hooking up) or she goes through with it anyways because she did go back on her word after he signed the paper.

anyways back to sofia and rafe’s relationship, I think I love it because all of you writers on here got him so accurate it’s scary like yall got him down to the T😭

5.) if this is the last season I really hope they end it correctly and not abruptly or in any way that doesn’t give obx justice. like I don’t want it to be as rushed as it’s already been this season. I don’t even know how they’d end it like it’s not some story you can just end tbh😭 I just want everyone happy, they’ve all gone through so much.

6.) my fault one more I thought of is the rumor… I swear if jj dies because of this stupid ass curse im canceling my subscription like immediately.

alrighty guys I hope yall enjoyed my ted talk that again no one asked for. feel free to comment on any of my opinions but also remember im just a girl like please chill on me✋🏽🫶🏽

[writermuses]

Hello darlings!

I'm still alive/here. I know I owe all the things and I appreciate you all following my "queue that" rule because I haven't been on my computer to write let alone draft. In case you're wondering what I've been up to I'll give you a bulleted list of the teacher life near D.C. under the read more.

🩵 Natty

Here's some chaos:

My student pulled the fire alarm and rather than addressing that for the felony it is, kiddo is on a 1 month suspension (you get 45 days for fighting) Worth noting this student was previously expelled 2 years ago for a gun situation.

We've had 2 mob fights at my school and another at the next closest high school (they also had a stabbing and the response was "well at least it wasn't our school on the news this time")

I've had more meetings than there were days of the week and worked past 5 nearly every day (we love unpaid work... i'm talking like full time job hours of unpaid labor)

My school has gone through more than 12 principals in my 6 years here and the new one has given me 9 blocks of classes to have my students research, make posters, assemble 550 meal kits, complete a reflection, and present a summary (to whom? idk bro) All while never answering my emails... in case you're wondering it costs 20k to get the groceries for this task alone. As of right now I have 3 students that can build the 550 meal kits. We have 2 80 minute blocks to build them all or our low income families have nothing to eat over spring break 👍

Our bell schedule is changing so that we'll have 3 lunches with students required to be in the cafeteria, instead of 2 where they're in our classrooms. This will end all in school clubs (RIP Four Square Club 😢 ) and we need 350 more chairs in the cafeteria 😂 fyi I had to have 3 students standing per block for 4 weeks because we couldn't get desks and chairs for my classes of 33. When I got desks they gave me elementary cubby desks. (I teach HS. The average 'kid' is like 5'5 hahaha)

The students booed the new principal so loudly at the pep rally that I could hear it with earplugs in and she didn't send their bitch asses back to class. She said, "Hmm, I think I hear some boos? Wouldn't be the first time, won't be the last."

Here's some cute shit:

My nearly non-verbal gem of a human told me a joke: Why did the sun go to class? To get a little brighter!

That same student: His current hyperfixation is roasting my lack of an immune system. He calls me his weakest superhero 😂

In a room full of extremely politically divergent teenagers, they almost unanimously agreed that a person facing criminal charges shouldn't be allowed to run for office and then had civil discourse about it.

The hype of my Afghani students getting to teach their class the Arabic alphabet when we started our new module. (Also their hype over the teachers showing up to their club's fundraiser)

A parent made shirts for the seniors on our 🏀 team (just 4 boys). They got to pick their favorite and most impactful teacher and she wanted each one to have a different teacher wearing theirs but 2 of them insisted it be me and wouldn't budge 😭 (also one of them interviewed to play ball overseas so 🤞 for him)

A parent made the staff valentines day cupcakes

A student in culinary arts gave me a banging cinnamon roll the size of my head

A quiet student from last year came by to tell me he bowled nearly 300 and made brownies- they were not pot brownies, I took the risk and it was worth it 😂

2 of my kids with over 100 absences showed up this week! They won't pass but 👍 nice to know they're like alive

[alarrytale]

Hello Marte!

A little ask for you as I just want to understand it all completely - why was H saying "We're all a little bit gay, aren’t we" that big deal? He said it after years again during my show in Vienna which also makes me wonder if it was because he knows his "iconic" quotes and how popular it became or it´s just his sublte way to express he´s gay but if he´ll say it every other show it won´t be that big deal.

Also wondering about the missing English breakfast while on tour gif from like 2013-2014? Hope you´ll remember which one I mean, it was from some interview on red carpet I guess, H was wearing beige jacket and he´s holding microfone and fonding like crazy while looking down to the floor. What was the context and why it was such a big deal for larries? I know that Louis said he has a proper english breakfast and how happy it made him for some interview last year while touring in US but that gif with H was during 1D so Louis was with him all the time.

And my last question. How do you think Louis deals with H stunting when it comes to him doing pda with those women? We know they both were really jealous about each other in the beginning and it breaks my heart both of them had to deal with their closet this way and went that far with acting straight that they had to do pda. But imo it´s worse with H ´cause he´s a big celebrity with his womanizerTM image and him doing pda always end up in tabloids ´cause we all are meant to see it. Idk but it makes me really sad whenever I saw him kissing his stunt and that´s not how gf harries like call it "you´re jealous ´cause it´s not you, he will never date you" but it´s just makes me so weird to see him go this far and cross this intimate line and I just don´t want to see him doing this while I´m just a random person but...how Louis must feel? And especially during that awful 2 years of h*livia when she was clinging on him like crazy thinking she can actually make him fall in love with him, the yachtgate 2.0 when she touched him while he was almost naked, he had to kiss her etc. Idk how hard it can be for H but imo it´s much worse for his real partner.

Hi, anon!

It was a big deal because it was the first time (and one of the only times) he's said the G-word (gay). He also basically admitted to being gay. He hid it behind a claim that everyone is a little bit gay (that's just not true). I think he said it because he knew he could get away with it (it did create plenty of headlines though).

About the english breakfast incident. I think you're mixing things up a bit. 1D was performing on Good Morning America in november 2013. They were interviewed on stage between songs, and they were asked what they miss the most when they're away from home. Louis answered a good fry up and started to explain everything that's needed to make a perfect English breakfast.

We all know he can't cook for shit, so someone at home most be cooking this for him to miss it. Harry looked particularly guilty lol. It's just domestic!larry and confirmation that H cooks breakfast for L. H also confirmed he was single in this interview, so it was good times.

I think L deals okay with H stunting and doing PDA with women. I think it was harder for him in the beginning. I also think it's harder for him when H isn't getting along with the beard or when fandom buys into the stunt. I think both H and L approach their stunts like an actor. For all we know it's rehearsed, discussed and maybe they even got intimacy coordinators involved. H knows how hard it felt when L was stunting with E, so they've both gone through it and know how the other one feels. I think L is busy doing his thing and he isn't exposing himself to the stunt articles, narrative and pictures. Why would he? If seeing pics of H doing PDA is hurting him, or he's seeing H hurting while doing it, he won't look. He knows how this goes and is used to it by now.

[b-b-8]

a list of reylo wips i am tearing my hair otu over

i will come back to update this. probably

why the mockingbird broke (100% complete) - aka delinquent farmstay au. late teens reylo, ben is our resident casual emo delinquent who is being sent to stay on skywalker ranch for a few months as a rehabilitation effort. rey is our plucky farmgirl who lives with uncle luke, tired farmer. i love this because it is almost cottagecore vibes but its more southern/country at heart. lots of bullshit about working in the sun and simple things. rey is very nice and ben has absoltuely no idea how to handle it, he's a wet cat

passenger princess (5% complete) - this is an idea i am Passionate about but have no idea how to execute. all i know is i want some ddlg bullshit and kylo rides a god damn motorcycle. trying to make rey soft but not too soft is kind of a challenge because she's very rough around the edges/hardened by life 2 me. UPDATE: i have not touched this yet i need to do more research, wordcount is 1.5k and probably needs to be rewritten entirely LOL

something borrowed (100% complete) - probably the next thing im posting!! this is a weird one, it's a bride!rey x bridal stylist!kylo modern au where rey is very controlled by plutt and in an arranged marriage to poe, who she mutually has no feelings for. during one of her dress try-ons she meets kylo and he kind of upturns her entire life by existing lol. i think the plot is possibly a huge mess but w/e nobodys paying me for this shit. i need a beta T_T PERFECT AND COMPLETE AND POSTED THANK U KAYLEEEEEEE <33333

t3h 0ff1c3 xD (70% complete? working title rofl) - ok this one is definitely a mess. this is a fake dating/CEO/office romance where benny boy needs to get out of the eligible bachelor auction at the annual company gala and having a fake gf is obv the best way to get that done. enter: new IT girl rey. yes this is contrived yes we are running with it. it was originally A/B/O so dont even come at me UPDATE: ok we are at 19k and still kicking so i'm leaving it at 70% complete.

bloodwork (20% complete) - a repurposed AoT fic :O) we have anesthesiologist rey who is told about a difficult patient. difficult patient alleges he is a demon and needs to get out of the catholic hospital. rey, against her better judgment, sneaks him out after her cross burns his hand. now she is living wit ha demon and that's great. i have no idea where i'm going with this but they fall in love and that's cool too UPDATE: have barely touched this, it's sitting at 8k remarkably

libertine (20% complete idk) - repurposed h******** fic ROFL. rey is a new therapist in a new town in a new apartment with a new neighbor who is very hot and keeps showing up in her dreams. this is an AU where kylo is an incubus and they fall in love too :-) UPDATE: wordcount is 5k and needs to be rewritten bc rey still sounds too much like **** hahahahhahaha

turpentine (20% complete????? do you see where im going with this???) - moar repurposed fic!!!!! idk if this one is going to see the light of day, it's kind of messy. basically artist!ben is in desperate need of a model/muse before a deadline and he sees rey on the street and offers her an obscene amount of money. cue nude modeling and all that bullshit <3 UPDATE: i reread this and hate it and idk what im gonna do. might rewrite the whole thing. wordcount is 4k

dog-gone it (20% complete.) - werewolf au this one is probably getting scrapped too bc i don't like where im going with it. ben ends up trapped in his wolfdog form. rey ends up adopting a scary dog from the pound. hilarity ensues. i just wanted to write werewolf sex UPDATE: i wrote a little bit of this and hate it again. wordcount is 4k

propinquity (70% complete?) - OK HERE IS ONE I AM AMPED ABOUT. i am currently really into this one. omegaverse, starts with them trapped in an elevator and rey inadvertently being sent into heat. they resist the pull of it and lose each other when they get out, but they don't stop thinking about each other for months. turns out it's a small fucking world and they find each other again, and just a bunch of really cute awkward dating shit ensues bc ben is bad at feelings and rey is too. UPDATE: i am CHURNING this one out for no good reason at all??? its at fucking 39k LOLLLLLL!!!!!

tantric (100% complete) - WEDDING NIGHT SEQUEL TO THE PIANO IS NOT FIREWOOD YET THAT IS ALLLLLLLL <3 <3 <3 wordcount is 8.4k

something borrowed smut one shot which is untitled (5% complete and by that i mean it was vaguely planned out lmfao)

thank you for coming to my ted talk. pls feel free to talk at me about any of this it rly helps u_u

[kaileidoscopio]

i finally caved and bought assassin's creed unity because it was on sale and i had some spare money in my steam account from when i bought a gift card ages ago and holy shit???? like i was aware everyone loves this game and i knew that it was the first game to release in 8th gen consoles, that it had a new engine (compared to the last, what? four/five games that all had the same engine and parkour systems). I knew that the parkour was amazing and the setting more so but oh. my. god. there are so many details in this game and now i fully understand why people say that the franchise has gone downhill ever since ive only ever played older games (ive 100%ed 3 and rogue, played through black flag and brotherhood and played a bit of 2 and revelations) and this is So different from what im used to. the parkour system going back to the og roots of the player having more control as opposed to just pressing a button, but making it much more fluid and quick?? at some point when i was running through the streets i felt that arno was slower than connor or shay but that just encouraged me to parkour more and i definetly did not feel slow when parkouring idk if they changed the combat or not but it feels much more challenging than the combat of the games ive played. in those it was literally never a match, the only enemies that presented any kind of difficulty were special challenge ones or "boss" enemies, but when fighting normal soldiers the character just felt godlike. but maybe they didnt change anything there and its because i havent played in a long while and im still getting used to it idk ALSO character customization?????? I always hated going back to playing 3 after playing rogue because the outfit options of 3 are just. so bland. you have like 4 special unlockable outfits but one is a 100% reward (which means you have to complete the impossible side quests of battle of bunker hill) and the other is literal prisoner clothes; other than that you just have recolours of the main outfit and like, the outfit looks cool but theres no variety. with rogue there are a bunch of outfits and part of the fun i had was changing outfits to fit what i was doing. am i sailing and battling other ships as i go? captain outfit. am i infiltrating a fort during the night? dark assassin outfit. am i looking for buried chests in random uninhabited islands? explorer or tracker outfit. you get the idea. almost every outfit looks cool af and i spent almost as much time changing outfits as i spent in tailing missions (/hj) and dear god???? unity???? it lets me individually select outfit pieces??? i can create my own outfit??? and omg how i love the fact that there are NORMAL clothes in this like the whole point of the assassins is that they hide in plain sight, its RIGHT THERE in their initiation ritual/pledge/whatever. and yet they go around in the most royally expensive outfit youve seen with a 3 barrel gun, a battle axe, a sword, a knife, an axe and a fucking bow and quiver. like his ass is NOT going undetected. its always bothered me, like shay i get because he's a templar and templars are all flashy rich asses who can go around dressed like that. but then you have every single person on the street dressed up in dirty clothes with no shoes and you show up with THIS https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/assassinscreed/images/5/52/ACIII-AssassinOutfit.png/revision/latest?cb=20121216073536

and with the character/outfit customization in unity i can finally dress my character in clothes that, yknow, actually blend in also oh my fucking god the amount of colour palettes i can choose from, i am never playing this game i will spend forever in the equipment tab like its the mf sims 4 cas

[close-friends00]

I have so many things I wanna rant about however I'm number 1: too lazy to pick up a pen and my journal and just write all these emotions and boring feelings down so imma just trauma dump here real quick. and 2: I can't add pictures of Lana del Rey whenever tf I want in my journal sooooooo

ok so I have a lot of feelings for Lola, but lately especially today I have just been looking back at our relationship and there are somethings that are just either not sitting right with me or things that just have hurt my feelings and I'm just now wanting to talk and vent about this. I think I'm missing more how our dynamic was before april- I feel like she was there for me sm more in the sense that she was a huge rock when I was going through a ton of shit- and we talked about sm shit together and then after April when she started doing her ig lives I think we also grew closer because she was throwing hints at me and flriting- however after I reciprocate my feelings back I see that our messages shift a bit- but no worries right- we go on our first date amazing, I loved every moment of it. Eventually I realize that our dynamic at school is odd- there are days where she is very talkative with me and she reciprocates my affection and there are other days that I just feel like a little dog running laps around her, trying desperately to gain her attention and to be loved by her- I feel fucking ridiculous, and I just feel like so fucking awkward for even trying to talk with her. And then on my birthday in May - holy fuck did she open up about a ton of shit to me - like she was talking about her past relationships and some personal things shes been going through- and shes all over me- like shes holding my knee, making a lot of eye contact, yk like it felt like although she was telling this thing to more people in a way she was just talking to me too, like it was just us two? idk. point is afterwards things are weird- we are in a bit of a rut ngl. However she posts this tik-tok where she is like oh the month and my crush/relationship and she does emojis and I notice that in the month that we started talking there's another emoji next to mine? weird right? So before I can even see the tik tok shes already texting me being like ok here's why there's another emoji next to urs and that shit was personal and she goes on about her ex and all that- like we talked and I was like oh yeah those people are assholes yk, and I'm just realizing that I find it kinda unhealthy that's shes jumping from relationship to relationship and I can tell that the shit that she has gone through is still quite fresh - so I tell her hey Ik that you think I can't handle this but I'm willing to wait and understand and all that- however in may she had her rehearsal week- a week where we barely talked and I can understand why but then after her show the next day she texts me and she sends me a picture of her dump acc post and her doing makeup for a guy and she sends that pic to me and goes just in case u were wondering- this is the guy who's been making my life complete hell and she was just ranting how her ex and this guy have gotten in a relationship and just keep flaunting it to her face- and then she texts- 'now that I don't have to see them I can focus on you and our relationship"

and I played it off as a yess pls yk finally- but it made me so sad that I've been so into this relationship for almost two months and she is JUST NOW putting her efforts into it. and I understand- shes been going through some things- but I feel so fucking neglected in our relationship... idk I feel like once again I'm practically begging to be given attention or to hang out and I feel so guilty saying this but I just need to express it somehow. I think I can be her friend for now and just be a support system for her, but idk if she is ready for a relationship. and I need to know if she is because I wanna stop feeling like a burden , another task she needs to complete, idk.

one thing I've also noticed is that when she is with her friends- I feel like whenever her friends come up to talk to her, they're talking in code or walking around eggshells with me there. and I get it- they think imma snitch or whatever but it just hurt my feelings so much when we would be talking and she would just leave me to talk with them and just leave me waiting yk. and it just hurts because I feel like they're waiting for this 'clingy puppy' to leave so that they can talk...

i really really really like her and I want to be with her but I'm afraid to express these feelings because I'm low-key scared she will think I'm just like her exes.

but I just needed to rant about that real quick.

[dhampiravidi]

my review of Bring Me The Horizon's POST HUMAN: NeX GEn...

k so, I didn't know it was released til 15 min ago. also just got the Angry Oli Maid Pics. I have a feeling that I know how this first listen is gonna go, but who knows.

[ost] dreamseeker - no rating

If any of this is Eve from the concerts, I'll have to skip the OSTs, because AI scares me (been giving me nightmares for months now). Anyway, this just seems to be a clip of filler/ambient noise. I'll only give ratings to actual songs (longer than 2 min & w/singing).

2. YOUtopia - 5/10

I keep hoping it'll get better as I listen...it just sounds kinda whiny & maybe it was a Jordan Fish thing, but there's no build really. Of course, the name of the song is a pun...IDK. Song sounds a lot more hopeful than I thought it would, since I thought POST HUMAN was all apocalyptic/post-. Giving this a 5.

3. Kool-Aid - 8/10

Pretty sure they already released all the good stuff. I remember hating how "heavy" this sounded initially, but I love this song now. It's an anthem for...something. I guess it's a warning tale for cults, hence why I thought this was an "end-of-the-world" type thing. Solid 8.

4. Top 10 staTues tHat CriEd bloOd - 6/10

IDK why I just thought of FOB's Under the Cork Tree. Probably because I'm getting a pop-punk sound (apart from the fairy techno) that's either UtCT or maybe a lighter That's The Spirit (specifically, "Avalanche"). The sound definitely matches that of "LoST". I keep asking myself if BMTH's songs usually repeat the same parts musically & lyrically...I don't remember. If they do, I didn't notice.

5. liMOusine (ft. AURORA) - 6/10

Optimistic about this one! As long as it picks up...I like the guest singer's voice! It's beautiful on it's own & it complements Oli's pretty well. I'm thinking there should be (based on what BMTH usually does in its collaborations & what I think would go well) a section where he screams while she sings...ah, here we go. I guess I was thinking about what happens in AmEN. Hmm...I suppose they wanted a slower song.

6. DArkSide - 10/10

RAHHHH! I love this song sm. Again, I think all that we heard before today is probably the best parts of PH: NG. This is my favorite BMTH song (the last one Jordan worked on, I think). Pretty sure we've all heard the comparisons to Linkin Park for this one 😊. I love how it ebbs & flows but ultimately is a complete song, one that sounds great onstage, makes me dance, has a message & uses all of Oli's range.

7. a bulleT w/ my namE On (ft. Underoath) - 7.5/10

Immediate mixed feelings here. I love the part where the guitar & drums kick in. It always takes me a second listen to get used to the parts where Oli screams because I don't always expect them. I don't like when they edit his vocals to sound super-techno because then it's almost like implying he can't sing without autotune. OMG I can hear Jordan in the background...then I hear "guess this is goodbye" RIP, man. Have we ever had a song where he clearly sings backing (w/o muffling)? Oh, well. ANYWAY. This song fits the BMTH style, I think. IDK what it's saying at the end--I'm never a fan of editing in stuff that can't be understood unless it's a rhythmic thing.

8. [ost] (spi)ritual - 7.5/10

Best of the OSTs so far. It's a chill lil bop. *looks up the lyrics* oh sHIT. I had to pause it because apparently it's an occult ritual used to clear the room of negative energy prior to doing another ritual & um...I'm no expert in this stuff, so I'm just gonna skip to the next song!

9. n/A - 8/10

OK initially I thought this was a bad joke of a song, given Oli's past addictions & time in a mental hospital. It's actually a good song musically & lyrically. I just feel really awkward listening to it. I think it's referring to how he relapsed during COVID...the music video part of Spotify shows a demented kid's picture...

10. LosT - 9/10

Again, we got the good part. I think we all know the message behind this, which I respect considering how many meds I've gone through trying to improve my own mental health. I have thoughts (positive) about the music video, but this isn't a music video post-! "LoST" has the ebb & flow that I love. "Too much to take, I can't fucking stand it" & "I think I'm gonna break down" are my favorite parts. I can only love screaming when it's done to emphasize clean singing &/or the melody.

11. sTraNgeRs - 8/10

All I'll say is...I prefer this version to the acoustic & my favorite part is "take us back to yesterday" (that whole thing before the last chorus).

12. R.i.p. (duskCOre Remix) - 9/10

This is the first new song that I actually like. I love the "club" songs that BMTH makes, where they sound happy but the lyrics are metal as hell. The "make me the villain if you want" *side-eyes The Darkling* I feel like that man has heard a BMTH song.

13. AmEN (ft. Lil Uzi Vert & Daryl Palumbo) - 10/10

I'm not familiar w/Daryl Palumbo, so I'm not sure what part he sings/screams, but I love this song. It's almost like a dramatic monologue, in the way that I can imagine someone doing all these over-the-top gestures as they sing each part of the song (maybe using puppets). I know I'm mouthing the words every time the song comes on (even though I still don't know the screamed part at the beginning, lol).

14. [ost] p.u.s.s.-e

Very interested to see what the acronym stands for (if it stands for anything)...welp, the Genius annotation says it's about a drug created by the fictional Church of Genxsis to "suppress people who will not obey their will" o-o don't fuck w/cults, kids.

15. DiE4u - 10/10

o-o just releasing how long it's been since this was released. This is bringing up angsty memories...anyway, I love the music video for this (Oli's a Real Vampire Agenda) & I love the pacing of the song. IDK why the "lemme see my halo" part sounds so good.

16. DIg It - 7/10

Fuck, I think this might be Eve talking...*scans some of the lyrics* OK the song's actually alright. Just don't look up the song on Genius unless you want some meta-AI-related stuff. I can tell this isn't supposed to be a banger as much as it is a sad song. It reminds me of Oli's monologue (done while high) on Music to Listen to...("Underground Big", I think?) & it could definitely be used on a soundtrack IMHO. I'd love to hear Oli just sing something chill w/o editing.

Alright, the average of all the ratings is...

5 + 8 + 6 +6 + 10 + 7.5 + 7.5 + 8 + 9 + 8 + 9 + 10 + 10 + 7 = 111

111/14 = 7.9 out of 10

So to me, about half the songs were good. I've felt that way about albums before. I wonder how they finished the album considering that Jordan left in December & yet he's credited on the songs. I don't think this album will be given high ratings, but if it wins an award...I wonder how that'll go down. Anyway, yay for angry maid pics!