#idk this is kinda bad buttt! oh well !!!!

[tinycatstars]

ive been thinking abt lil dizzy and cg murry this whole week. so i had to getout my thoughts n ideas or else i was gonna splode 0: 0:

[maxlarens]

(idk how concepts work) would love your thoughts on Oscar trying to flirt especially when Logan/Lando/Alex/George are around

under the cut because i went ON and ON

aaooh so first of all i think oscar is a terrible flirter. or at least the typical idea of flirting. he cannot say a pick up line with any level of seriousness. he blushes too much. just can’t do the suave smooth thing at all on purpose.

i think his idea of flirting is sarcastic jokes, teasing sorry so like exactly how he talks to lando and being near you— like sitting so your arms are touching, or randomly playing with strands of ur hair, that kind of thing! and occasionally pulling out a veering-on-suggestive comment or complimenting you, but that would come after being friends i think.

anyway. i think the pressure of other people would make it soo much worse for him. he can flirt with u enough when it’s just the two of you, push boundaries and get closer and all that stuff. but when his friends are around ohmygod it would be bad.

lando and logan would be THE WORST culprits. i can see oscar trying something that just doesn’t land super well and logan snorts into his drink or lando starts giggling😭 i think they’d be paying attention to you two Always, trying to manufacture situations where oscar can shoot his shot or just keeping an eye on how it’s going. and they’re soo well meaning about it because they want oscar to be happy but it doesn’t really help because oscar is SUCHH a slow burn kinda guy. idk i just see it taking a while, lots of subtle things building up into something u eventually can’t ignore. i think he’s very happy to meet the relationship where it’s at.

lando would absolutely try to push oscars buttons by making flirty comments at u and when oscar is like BRO? lando just tells him to make a move if it bothers him so much. logan would not do that but he’d be very content to take the absolute piss out of you and oscar. publicly and privately. and he would not stifle his instinct to laugh at you two whatsoever. you spend the whole time thinking that logan’s got something wrong with him😭

and okay on george and alex. i think they’d be less ~in tune~ with the whole thing because lando and logan probably know oscar better. but im torn between whether i think george or alex would catch on immediately. mm yeah actually i think george might clock it right away— like take one look at the two of you and go oh okay they’ve got mega crushes on each other and neither of them quite know it. BUTTT i think alex would be the only one brave enough to say something to your faces. you’d be having dinner or lunch or something with them all and you and oscar would be sitting next to each other giggling, playing ur usual game of chicken 😭 and alex just point blank goes: “so are you guys dating yet or what”

and you would both go TOTALLY red and lando and logan would spend the rest of the meal laughing their heads off. and i think after that you’d have to finally acknowledge it lol.

but anyway, i kinda didn’t get into this, but i think oscar would just be a stuttering mess while trying to flirt with u when others are around. stumbling over his words, making awkward jokes that reveal a little too much, staring at u too long, weird lingering touches, LAUGHING TOO LOUD. he’d be fine if the conversation were about something entirely normal, but if it starts veering into anything about relationships in general/you/dating/etc… mm yeah poor boy would not survive.

[anonoob]

SELF SHIP/OC x CANON Rant.

Moon Morningstar x Vox..

Gulpss. Okay so BASICALLY Moon had alot of character changes since er. Last time. Moons like. An anti-hero kinda. He LOVES his dad and sister, and at first he's completely on board with Charlie's hotel. In fact, he has similar dreams! Yes, he STILL has the dream of granting hell-born a chance of moving to earth. (His dream is RIDICULOUS dude that's NOT happening.) But due to certain encounters he has, this dream gets SHATTERED. He snaps at Charlie and like. Fights with everyone at the hotel before LEAVING!!! yeah. He's out roaming the streets of hell. Um. Woah! Who finds him? Vox! Wow! Vox sees this as an opportunity. An opportunity to

A. go viral, I mean, collaborating with one of the Morningstar's will truly upload your status.

And B. Take advantage of the hotel residents, cus. Yeah obviously?? He wants alastor DEAD!!!!!

After a few drinks, they come to an agreement. Moon stays with the vees, and they work together. So, moons SORTA an antagonist but also not. Cus while he understands Vox's intentions and doesn't help him, he like. Doesn't care what Vox does and doesn't stop him.

Their relationship itself is. Odd. They're kinda doomed. And they DON'T ever get better. Despite multiple efforts. Moon fell first, and the hardest. Sure, vox DOES express care, but he's.. well. A mess.

The relationship at FIRST is really just. "Oh yeah if we stick together we're strong" but EVENTUALLY Moon develops like. An attachment to him and the vees, and YEARNS for like. Love. He's a stupid hopeless romantic surrounded by people who only really understand sexual affection. And well, velvette's there too.

Now don't get moon wrong, he's down for that, but he doesn't want JUST that. We wants something.. more. And honest.

And VOX, well. He takes longer to like. Actually understand. Like. "Oh SHIT wait?? Fuck this guy's kinda.." idk man. Yeah!

BUT both of them fucking. Have so many issues with their personal selves that their relationship is just all over the place. They care for each other, but it ain't no Charlie and Vaggie relationship. But man, I love a ship that's not like, Abusive. but lowkey doomed/not healthy.

Now on to their dynamic, Moon and Vox are the perfect like. Example of one dude lowkey being a crashout (Vox) and the other being there to either cheer them on or calm them down (Moon)

And sometimes it's the other way around. Not often but when it is bro... Grins.

Moon doesn't have a low temper, but he WILL lose his temper in the right moments. Touch any of his loved ones? Yeah buddy run the other way...

Moons overall a good person, but he's losing that innocence, being around those guys. Vox is. Well. We all know he's a bad guy. But I do like the headcanon that around the vees he's like, somewhat caring. Like damn?? Sorry. I love the vees.

Also bonus; moons relationships with Valentino and velvette.

Moons friendly with Velv, in fact they get along quite well. Gossip buddies, maybe?

Moons.. on and off with Valentino. He forces himself to get along with him because, they're business partners.. BUTTT he does NOT support the guys actions to Angel, or well. Any of his employees.

OH! Also, Moon gets along with Angel Dust quite well, Moon gets the guy. They gossip sometimes, but also. They had to work together on a production for Valentino once, so they kinda had to get along.

Anyways. This ship is so Me and My husband core. Gulps

[thepisserrrrrr]

top 10 sleep token songs??

OKAYOKAY SUPER HARD QUESTION BUT HERE WE GO

god the first one is so hard to pick buttt probably Aqua Regia. im in and out of phases where i listen to it on repeat constantly cause its so GUH. like its so pretty. perfect song. very special to me

i'd have to say Nazareth next. holds a special place in my heart as well and yet again, very pretty

third comes Gods. its so fucking cool and the guitar and drums go so hard. especially in the outro. and the vocals OH MY GOD literally came the first time i listened to it (joking i swear) (unless....)

Blood Sport is fourth. this and the from the room below version are tied for fourth. its so beautiful and moving and it hurt so bad to hear vessel crying in the outro but my angsty ass was living for it

TAKE ME BACK TO EDEN!!!!! maybe its one of their most popular songs but a band's most popular songs are the most popular for a reason. its sososo good idc if i get called a fake fan for listening to it all the time everything about that song is so good

Euclid. the kinda song i'd listen to while laying on my back in a grassy field at night with a cool breeze looking up at the stars and eventually falling asleep under the stars like its that kinda song. so pretty and so moving and so good

Atlantic,,,,,, its one of the songs that dragged me deeper into sleep token and also the tpwbyt album. his voice is so damn pretty in this one its hypnotic

The Night Does Not Belong To God,, idk it feels like THE sleep token song. maybe its just me. but if i were to introduce someone to the band i would show them this song first. its so ethereal and almost mystical sounding and i think it wraps up the band's sound perfectly

Vore!!! i love recommending this song to people cause 'vore' is so out of context for them. i like it in a similar way in which i like Gods. Vore is loud and heavy but also in a hauntingly beautiful yet unsettling way

aaand last but most definitely not least: Ascensionism. this song is what got me into Sleep Token in the first place. i kept seeing the silly gay men in masks pop up on my feed so i finally decided to give them a listen and Ascensionism is when i realized how good this band and its music actually is and it sucked me in and now im a whore

[yippieitsarvensart]

GRAAAAHH savanaclaw and pomefiore appearance hcs :3

leona- he is obviously muscular but also is kind of bigger bodied because he eats a lot and intentionally puts on weight like a lot of athletes do. he has a flat nose (like a lion/feline) but also because hes BLACK.. I HEADCANON leona has sharp teeth like the tweels because lions do, its just those two canines happen to be a bit sharper. also he has wicks and maintains them well. theyre not in a specific style or anything he lets his hair do what it wants, so some are super thick and some are super skinny! his eye with the scar is almost completely shut and he cant see out of it at all. also hes darkskin OH ALSO has long nails

ruggie- super skinny and lanky. skin and bones. he did put on some weight after joining NRC, i also think he has super slow metabolism!! lightskin with a lot of freckles like a hyena., also has a flat nose. same as leona all of his teeth are somewhat sharp, the canines are just bigger. he has a LAZY EYE because one of the hyenas from the lion king had a lazy eye, and also a bite mark in his ear. he has dark circles under his eyes like a hyena aaaand uhhh has curly hair he can twist. its not 4c but its curly maybe 4a idk :3 has a buncha scars from various fights and activities and like stuff (and cracks on his arm from leonas OB)

jack- muscular but not too muscular. i hate muscular teenagers what r u doing with all those muscles. you are 16. stop that this instant young man. but anyway i think hes pretty toned but i just dont like muscular teens i think theyre uhhh. unattractive(?) personaly. nothing against them. anyway. same teeth as leona and ruggie blah blah blah ALSO instead of that fuckass confusing hair he has he has white locs and stuff :3 his nose is darker than his face like an actual dog. i also think hes a husky so his hair and tail and stuff get super puffy in humidity. has a supr long tongue like a dawg blehhh uhhh yaaa ^_^ i also think he has monolids. has.. very few scars from like tripping and falling during track maybe. brownskin

vil- WHITE WOMAN with a hooked nose. i said this on twitter buttt she has a pudgy body to account for the beauty standards of the 1950s, which i mainly base her off of due to me also basing her off of marilyn monroe :3 nnnd she has a pear shaped body kinda curvy also a thigh gap. she has sharp downturned eyes and kind of curly hair which she straightens. blonde is her natural hair color!! she has sharp bow shaped lips!!! i hc she has bad back acne that she covers up LOL.. uhh also lots of moles! and stuff. she has sharper than normal canines :3

ILL FINISH TOMORROW ITS FUCKING LATE

Goodness GRACIOUS Chef you are COOKING. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥AUGH🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥ciel....🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥you and your🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥beautiful mind🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥thank you for giving me these hcs🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥I lobr you🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Honestly these'll help me so good with whenever I get around to drawing like, any of these bitches. I'm so bad at thinking of my own hcs I gotta steal from all'a'yall XDDD

I gotta say I am so so in love with your vision of Vil... She's an icon she's beauty and grace... Vil oh Vil I love you so... Idk man idk what to even say you cooked you slayed you ate you buried me alive you massacred my family WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME

[allthedamnlove]

omg i love that you can talk about drewfiona & rafesofia for hours lmao bc same! i hate how the riaras (yuck) on twitter shit on sofia sm and say her and rafe had nothing and that she was filler like pls don’t piss me off…they literally had more chemistry than anyone else. that proposal scene itself was greater than every romantic scene combined. and they’re both such GOOD actors. they just didn’t have a fleshed out plot line which we can blame the writers for, but if they had the screen time and the material they would literally be the most talked about thing in the whole show. meanwhile kiara’s character only knows one real facial expression and it’s the pissed off face she makes all the time #nooffense anyways idgaf, i hope sofia and rafe end up together and married and i hope we get drew and fiona press next season. i need to see those sweetie pies interacting moreee!

This is a biggg answer so ill put this down

first of all THANK YOU for the compliment. It is going to be a tough year waiting for obx and then RIARAS DRONING IN OUR EARS with a chainsaw talking about muh "enemies to lovers" trope while its clear that jj would probably come back alive, skin rafe and put him on the coffin rather than see kie and rafe. So any support for sofia is great

Oh both of them were amazing this season even tho they had like six scenes LIKE WHAT IS THIS, SOVIET RUSSIA can you please give me more I am starving here. But obviously since "sofia is a filler charcter' her own story and rafes and sof's relationship dont matter . i wish obx was shot in the 2000s then every season would have 23 eps and we would get such an amazing storyline. And you're so true, even with the minimal scenes their edits in insta and twt are going on fire. clearly some people who dont like fun are like "oh i dont like sofia" well I LOVE HER so move tf on and enjoy. People are clearly getting the agenda buttt some idiots are ruining it for us butt jiaras would literally hang jpates so i dont think fanservice will come in next season. They literally want rafe to be dead rather than with kie and they are pissed as hell abt jj so nope i hope to god that shit doesn't happen. I feel like next summer or autumn they may start shooting (idk tbh) so if we could just see on bts if fiona will be there, we will know for sure that sofia's story is not over.

I am honestly so sad for jiaras situation like they were so cute from s1 till s4 pt 1 like rudy leaving along with the entire drama kinda completely ruined jiara and its so sad cuz they have and HAD SO much potential like they COULD HAVE KISSED IN SO MANY SCENES. The scene when jj and sarah reunite with the rest of the gang should have also had a jj and kie reunion scene that would have ATE and also what the fuck was that ending, his own dad killing him that's so fucking tragic. That shit made ward and john sr the father of the series who both are ASSHOLES btw. Culimination of all that, madison and rudy just let go of professionalism and didn't provide the audience what they deserve. so that ended up kie looking like shes pissed off at jj; even when jj told his lifes been a lie she was...ok...like girl my bb sofia sounded more concerned when rafe called her in morocco. when compared to that with rafe literally proposing to sofia when rafes probably 23 and shes like probs 21 like OH HE WANTS HER BAD. jj didn't even properly kiss her LIKE THATS DIABOLICAL and they come for sofia being bland...like look in the mirror. Thats why psycho ship fans feel like they will get ri*ra like rafe actually was "amicable" key word "amicable" to her but again she had a knife on her back when he approached and rafe still kinda loathes her soooo.

I feel that they dont even watch the same series like jj and kie has been loving each other FOR YEARS loca and their delusional ass thinks that just because rafe threw some smouldering looks doesn't mean that kie is going to jump him and its very very disrespectful to kie that they want them together tbh.

Now....lets talk about it....I MEAN AGAIN THAT PROPOSAL SCENE CHILLSSSS. I hate that tiktok is a cesspool mostly filled with mentally weird people who are just liking riara edits when THERE IS LITERALLY A GODDAMN POWER COUPLE THAT YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON. I mean I loved all the ship chem this season; jarah blew me away and as usual we love cleopope in this fam but RAFE was actually making moves EXCEPT THAT FUCKASS SCENE like buying a property for her and marrying her LIKE THAT IS A FUTURE WIFE GUY. And AGAIN UGHH THE CHEMISTRY WAS CHEMISTRYING AND I HATE THAT I DIDNT GET ENOUGH SCENES. I would literally fall on my knees if I can get that enduro scene where rafe carries sofia BRIDAL STYLE like CALM DOWN. Buttt people say that its actually BTS which means DOUBLE DEATH LIKE HUH WHY DID THAT HAPPEN. Trust me, if only sofia was written by a woman instead of a m*n, we would have gotten so much more. Also a lot of self insert fics make sofia look like the bad guy NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT like obvio the yn is the heroine but like it just irks me that's all; that's just my personal opinion. And only very handful writers, not including the Brazilian Portuguese Rofia AUs (btw are amazing and you guys should totally check it out; i just google translate and read them.) there is not much fanfic or discourse abt them on ao3 or tumble again is kinda sad. I have mapped out a story for them butt i am kinda busy with my life rn even tho my brain and attention span is fried; so i cant be able to write it right now but i am for sure writing it cuz I'm sick and tired of the showrunners ruining the top tier potential that rafe and sofia have

I remember me and the approx 20 people in this app speculating abt whats going to happen in pt 2 after oct regarding rofia. I mean I thought the truth would come out and it will be messy so I THOUGHT I WAS READY to process it. BUT THEN BOOM RAFE PROPOSED

RAFE PROPOSED LIKE WHAT

I remember LITERALLY HOLLERING and screaming WOOOHOOO when he proposed. OH IT WAS EVERYTHING, some people say it was half baked like....whatever girl. the fact that man thought of marrying her itself is like HUH. I thought we'll get like a "i love you" confession BUT NEVER A FUCKING ENGAGEMENT SCENE. So Jpates your beatings will be less for that one reason.

And the way they kissed THREE TIMES BITCH I WAS UPPPP. Him close to crying like SOFIA YOU DID IT GIRL YOU DID IT. He clearly loves her like a lot and I hate that his INSECURE ASS would just break it up IN MOROCCO OVER A GUY WHOS CLEARLY A CON. AND THE WORST PART IS MY GIRL WAS SO HEARTBROKEN LIKE THAT SHOT OF HER JUST DROPPING THE PHONE. SOMEONE HOLD MY BABY SHE DOESNT DESERVE THIS. He straight up said "DONE" like mfer talk it out, acting LIKE HE JUST DIDNT CUT SOFIA OFF WHILE SHE WAS TRYING TO SAY THAT SHE MADE A MISTAKE (again warranted cuz rafe is an insecure ass and deserves that whooping, treating the love of your life like that DUSTY BEHAVIOUR).

Everyone says that drew has chemistry with everyone...i kinda disagree. I watched The Other Zoey and as much as i liked it the chemistry between Katherine and drew was not hitting at all. And the background score was not it at all, I was actually fast forwarding for all the romantic scenes with music cuz that was just tacky. And i feel like the final kiss was like...meh. I love the character Zach tho, he is so fuckng cute but I feel like the art direction and the overall aesthetic and the chemistry was not up to the mark. I was expecting more like"to all the boys i loved before" level cuteness but nope it was...ok ig. Compared to that, fiona and drew seem so intense on obx like the banter and the sexual tension is very palpable between sofia and rafe. even in scenes like the one second WHERE SOF PUTS HER HEAD ON RAFES SHOULDER like I felt that chemistry was chemistryfying.

I can talk about them for eons I am not even kidding. I love them smmm. THANK YOU FOR THE ASK

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ari should i watch the apothecary diaries? i've been kinda interested in it for a while + you keep hyping it up... today i woke up with the opening playing in my head

i agree with what you said about jinshi, his behavior reminds me a little of cult leader geto's antics... he's so pathetic... (my all time most favorite genre of men after motherly). he's also so so beautiful and the lining of his outer thing (sorry i don't know what it's called... fake chinese moment) is really similar to the sash on geto's gojo kesa... which i think is sooooo beautiful as well

n my friend said i'm realllllyy similar to maomao so this will probably be a self-indulgent watch for me... read her backstory and it's making me so sad but she comes across as so strong... i'm already so attached to her it's not even funny. also i didn't know your whole family was into anime!! that's so wholesome and cute..

about the kenny plushes, they don't sell very well (especially in the jp fandom!) so you can get them for sooo cheap. you can use a proxy if you really want to! i use sendico and the shipping isn't bad! i know they ship to a lot of smaller european countries too ^ ^

i can NOT believe they got lost at sea. omfg i am fuming for you that is so very sad. we should track down the ship. that lost it. it's negligence.

are you talking about these? https://jp.mercari.com/item/m92282289388 i actually have the cat plush one that's fairly similar! https://jp.mercari.com/item/m20944297256 N ABOUT THE MERCH I JUST.......... ORDERED A LOOK UP.... finally found geto's for a reasonable price :( now i just have to wait for golden week to end for it to shipp,.w;...... AND THIS ONE https://jp.mercari.com/item/m89522427367 where he looks so hot that i'm literally about to die

thank you so much for listening to my rambles!! :D <3 🌖🌖

🌖 ANONNNNNNNN

YOU SHOULDDDD YOU SHOULD!!!!!!! it’s super duper duper good!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s so great!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the plot is amazing and the animation is gorgeous and the characters are so so charming…. JINSHI IS LITERALLY CULT LEADER GETO just. less evil. and more flirty. he’s kinda like…. if you mixed cult leader geto and teen toru in one big bowl. BUT HE’S GENUINELY VERY SIMILAR TO HOW I PICTURE CULT!GETO BEING W A CRUSH…. like….. in an au where there aren’t any complications and you’re on his side. i think he’s soooo silly and bratty and pouty. but he wants you to lean on him so badly.

he makes me insane btw motherly/pathetic men are the actual standard ANYWAYYY MAOMAO. i adore her!!!!! just as much as jinshi!!!!!! 🥺 AND WE’RE TWINNING SO HARD 🌖 ANONNNNN i see myself as super similar to her too 😭😭 just. the way she acts…. but she rlly is so lovely and funny and soso strong!!!! she’s a wonderful character……

AND YES KINDA PHDKDJ … honestly it’s mostly just. me and my two older brothers. but my mom likes manga!!! i think she’s still caught up on detective conan to this day…. the amount of chapters are frankly really silly i can’t believe it’s still ongoing 💀 BUTTT i do force my older sis to watch anime w me sometimes :3 yesterday i made her binge dungeon meshi w me!!! i’m still not nearly finished w it (and all the episodes aren’t out yet!!) but i recommend it SO strongly it’s so feel-good but also so???? idk. it’s special. and i adore laios like nothing else…. mr puppydog…….

BUT WAHHHHHH :((((((( kenny being neglected…. sniffle……… i tried using that site but it does Not work for me lmao it won’t let me register my credit card :’3 and i’m worried since i can only write my name and adress using english letters…… the kenny stuff rlly was so cheap grrr i’m mad. but oh well!!!

AND YES EXACTLY IT’S THOSE CATS!!!! 🥺🥺 wahhhhh i need the goken set so BADLY just look at them…. the meowmeows ever…….

all the merch you linked…. GRRRRR you are tempting me so hard rn 😭😭 THAT ONE OFFICIAL GETO ART. need him so bad. he looks soooooo fucking good it should be illegal…… i’m also sooooo jealous you found geto’s look up!!!!! i need to hunt him down!!!!!!!!!!!! but i can’t spend any more money on merch this month…. sobs…….. I’M ALWAYS VERY HAPPY TO HEAR ABT YOUR MERCH ESCAPADES THOUGHHH i hope your sugus reach you safely!!!!! pls send pics once he comes home plspls 🥺🥺🥺

[brothalynchhung]

2023 overview part 2

since when was there a text limit?

anywho lolla was so much even if i was alone

chicago food slapped the city was so much fun and yeah just enjoy being in america

the record stores 🫡

that kokoroko story omg the fact that i went to the same places as new jeans just a few days apart 😭 but still that store was my 80s dreams

BUT YEAH I SAW NEW JEANS AND TXT LIVE

JID RHCP DESTROY LONELY A BOOGIE BAEBADOOBEE KENDRICK AGAIN

so much fun honestly the vibes of an american music festival r unmatched

loved summer so much

then i went back to toronto and just waited for the torment to be over cuz i just wanted to get the fuck out of there

seriously chilling w that bitch nd her weird ass bf was hell

literally toronto was the worst place i went to this year.. lol

anyways its over and never happening again

now i know forsure im never going back i HAVE to make it somewhere else

ANYWAYS i left canada then came back around sept and had to deal w moving out

left my old isolated place

gunna miss that view tho lol and my old gym / salon but othat than thaat... BYE

then moved in w nada which is going okay i guess whatever

im in a weird limbo state in my life rn -_- after an amazing few months of travelling idk what the hell going on

i quickly got a job LOL ofc but i kinda got into it/entered it not rlly knowing what the fawk was happening in my life like uh yeah i guess okay lets just do this cuz i need to sell my furniture and put it somewhere and i need a visa

legit its just for the visa until i figure out where i wanna go -_- bUTTT

i havent had much time to even think about that or my future cuz...

of that stupid ass discord. .. group -_-

look its not even the group idc about them like yeah nice weirdos woo whatelse is new

but that stupid ass day i decided to go to the korean restaurant.. -_-

like i was doing so well man but then my eyes set on fire

im still figuring it out but whatever idk

like work was good tbh it doesnt even FEEL like work cuz yeah tbh after that hell job i just dont care about labor anymore like nah im NEVER putting my whole pussy into a job ever again im putting myself first always now so this current job just doing feel like shit

actually its kinda helping me get my mind off this bitch

idk man i met that bitch and now i cant stop thinking about him

blah blah typically me shit i obsess over someone and daydream crazy about them idk

hes cute tho ig i think hes better than all those other bitches i been w

OH ANOTHER THING THO I FINALLY BROKE MY 2 ALMOST 3 YEAR SPELL

thank god 😩

i mean it didnt go the way i would have wanted to..

i move too fast -_- and i think that was the problem

but after that spell broke i thought i would be done w it but nope

im crazy and started to get depressed

idk what i want or if im just using this bitch as a distraction from work/figuring out life

idk what i want bc obv this bitch isint anything special hes just kinda cute? but whatever HES NOT GL

so many red flags but im acting like a bull

brrr whatever the biggest this is just selling that fucking ass furniture

anyways the whole end of this year was just the new job, this bitch and me going crazy

the new job is fun the ppl are nice the client is annoying but its manageable thank god we got wfh but yeah even in office isint bad the ppl r nice which is the best part

the partying.. lol girl -_- i need to slow it down i cant keep on getting lit BECAUSE HONESTLY whats ruining me is the drinking

maybe if that bitch didnt exist in my life i would be fine and have control but jeesuss its like im trying to forget my current situation through him then try to forget him through partying and bullshit -________-

god please send me gl .. or whatever

or maybe i just need to act normal and stop being fucking crazy over a bitch i barely know that will do nothing for me and go back to focusing on getting shit done and FORWARD with my life

yeah -_-

anyways end of the year partying wooo work friends woo this weird discord chat group wooo delusions wooo

gym movies books learning japanese learning music theory (which i rlly need to get back to...) videos skateboarding art basically always encompasses my years

i just need to put myself out there more idk i need to get out of my head and start to do more

which is were im at perfectly idk why i had to go so crazy from oct-dec but whatever i think its over now

i cant suffer forever

anyways this was a long ass busy crazy year with so much travel beginnings and endings moving cutting off and meeting new people... im so so so grateful despite the emotional breakdowns and work stress and this bitch stress im sooo happy i think this was such a fun year and yeah we need ups and downs..

pluto in aquarius eh? so shit about to get crazier... nice -_-

i just want to make videos do my website idk FIGURE OUT WHERE I WANT TO LIVE sell my furniture and yeah ofc read read read movies movies movies be HEALTHY create more and realign my brain w my goals after this dumb bitch entered my life ugh (im doing it to myself fr) anddd idk what else make friends that are like me and MOVE FORWARD

remember self CONTINUE!! CONTINUE!!!

see u next year and hey future self if ur reading this i love you u can do it U SURVIVED THIS YEAR U CAN DO IT

[libby-is-a-idoit]

Nsfw head-canons southpark

❌AGED UP

CHARACTERS (HIGH

SCHOOL AU KINDA BUT

AGED UP)❌

Hi it's Libby,yes,yes I know I know,but this is my first nsfw post lmao,I'm currently watching South park,so Uhm why not write some ':D also Uhm,this may be old bc Uhm this was on my Wattpad that was written uhmm..like three years old 0-0 as well as it's like three characters xD bc apparently old me only liked those three,and no,there's no Cartman,kiss my ass I do not care 😚

Kenny,Stan,Kyle!

Kenny💀:

Dude he's just a straight up perv and y'all know that

This dude..he can not keep his hands off of you,he does in public tho but if he got the chance to bend you over and fuck you in 'public' he sure as hell would

I feel as if he's a boob buy more then a thigh or an ass guy,but like I said he will fuck anything that can cum-

His favorite position is probably like doggy so he can make your legs not work or cow girl to also not make your legs work

Quickies? Yes. Something tells me he would probably do a quickie anywhere ngl-

BJ's? Yeah. Yeah I don't have much to say about that buttttt I would like add he would suck off/eat out you like it was his last meal

××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Kyle✡️:

Dude he's not an expert in this man.

But he's respectful about it y'know

Ofc he's not innocent,idk why so many people write him as innocent.no dude he's friends with Kenny.

I feel as if he's a bit worried about doing anything,he sure as hell didn't make the first move kissing that was all you man-

The first time y'all made out he didn't really know what to do- ofc he knew but he was more worried about you and what you wanted to do!

Sex the first time was hella awkward buttt anytime after he was sweet about it but if he was having a bad day or something and y'all decide to fuck oh sweet Jesus your legs will not work.

Public sex? No,he has a hard enough time just kissing you in public -

Missionary is probably his favorite,but he also would do doggy when he wanted more rough sex,when he had a shitty day and y'all decide to fuck, plowing you in to the mattress seems like a great fucking idea.

BJ's? Eh not so much,oh but sucking you off/eating you out he doesn't have much practice but Damm he knows what he's doing.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Stan💙:

Dude he's probably had a few girlfriends before (ahem Wendy)

He's gonna know alot more then Kyle,but not more then Kenny-

He definitely knows how to make you cum with his fingers but dosent mention it till you relized it 

it takeshim awhille to relize he actaully wants to do anything just bc he has trust issues and dosnt know if you love him or not

once he is ready tho it akward as hell, but then once both of yall get the gist of whats going it its spicy 

public sex? nah hes  not even big in to PDA usally due to his friends making fun of him, so he just kinda hates showing affection is public.

bj’s? its more of a quickie thing for him.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Y'all I hate this,do I care? Nah,I'll post a better smut fix soon,but I also am gonna try and put together a master list for y'all just so you guys can see ALL my works that I've done!!! So thank you guys for Uhm reading!

[shesawriter39049]

Hoseok NSFW A- Z

AKA ALL THE REASONS DADDY JUNG CAN GET IT

MMMMkkayy, so I've been having writer's block and this is something I've been requested A LOT so here it is. Obviously this is my opinion not only do we not actually know what the boys are like behind closed doors, but it’s just a fact EVERYONE famous or not it a little different while in any type of sexual relationship/ situation..  

A = Aftercare :  I feel like Hoseok is one of the members that doesn't need to have an emotional connection in order to have sex. So with him being the sweetheart that he is, no matter who you are I feel like he’d wipe you down with whatever soft item was close to him. Or go grab a warm towel or something, but as far as any intense cuddle sessions..or IDK showering together. Sharing those type of intimate moments..unless he already knows you..or it’s a FWB situation I don’t see him being into that honestly. I’m also not saying he'd throw you out right after I just couldn't imagine him wanting anything super..”emotional” afterwards if that makes sense.

B = Body part - Ass, he strikes me as an ass man, loves having something to grab while he has you bent over, fucking you from behind. When it comes to his fav body part..maybe this thighs..from how strong they are..how easy it would be for him to get you off while you ride them, or maybe how pretty his hands are. The way you’d suck his fingers into your mouth to get him riled up, or just to muffle yourself from crying out his name while he fucks you backstage. Maybe it’s because he knows how much you loved having them wrapped around your throat, orrrr how good his fingers felt as they danced along your clit until you came all over them...

C = Cum- Oh god I feel like he comes like a racehorse,he’d be down to come anywhere, in you (with a condom of course if it’s a one night stand kinda thing) CUM SHOT CENTREAL lol he’d love to watch you swallow it. “Stick your tongue out for me baby...lemme see..”  I also feel like he’d be into cum play weather that be yours or his. He doesn't strike me as one of those guys that’s turned off at the idea of tasting himself.  He'd enjoy sitting between your thighs watching his cum just ooze out of you, swirling it around his fingers before pushing it back between your pushing heat. “I want you to walk around all day with Daddy’s cum dripping out of your pretty little pussy can you do that for me baby? Can you be a good girl for me?” He'd fucking love tasting you, moaning out as he lapped his tongue around his fingers, sucking them into his mouth slowly as if you were the best thing he’d tasted all day. I also feel like he’s very vocal when he comes, a lot of grunts and throaty moans, while he bites down any and every inch of skin he can reach. He likes for you to watch him come and vise versa….your not hiding your face in the damn pillow he wants to see your orgasim washing over your body. Even if hes hitting it from the back you best believe he's gipping your neck to make you turn and face him as you come. “Fuck you look so good like this baby..soo good..” 

D = Dirty Secret - I don’t feel like he has any, he’s be pretty open honestly.

E = Experience- Oh I feel like this man could fuck you into next week, to be honest I feel like he’s the best in the the group and I’m not just saying that because he’s my bias. It just something about the way he carries himself...as if he knows he could fuck you up in any and every way you’d want him too. Prime example….the way he’s the only one who body rolls with his hips as opposed to his chest during the mic drop dance break. IE..it’s all in a hips baby….Stroke game on a hunnitt

F = Favourite Position- Doggy style, or on your back with your legs on either side of his shoulders..any position where  he can get deep, where talking feel it in your guts...almost confused if he’s in your rib cage deep.The kinda thrust where he's damn near cutting off your airflow every time he rolls his hips against you. BUTTT I also feel like he’d be down to switch it up to, he’d probably love for you to ride him but I don't feel like he’d sub well so he’d just be a power bottom, Meeting your thrust every time. Guiding your hips to move at the pace he’d prefer. Having no issue picking up the slack if and when your thighs started to give out.

G = Goofy - Depends on his mood, I feel like he wouldn't 100% lose his sunshine personality but there's a time and place for everything...and while he’s ruining your pussy he’s daddy not Jhope...sooo...take that as you will.

H = Hair- I don't know why, but I feel like he’s not completely bare all the time. It's not a forrest and he's definitely always groomed, I just  have a feeling he’d switch it up…..

I = Intimacy -  He doesn't strike me as one to be SUPER romantic as far as candles and rose petals and ETC..for him it’s just wherever the two of you are is the “mood” . Dont’e get me wrong he’ll do it from time to time especially if his partners really into it,,,but he doesn't need to “create” an ambiance .  I feel like he could turn anything into a vibe..turn any situation into one where your begging him to fuck you. He’s definitely a Dom, a full daddy but he doesn't strike me as a aggressive Dom, or at least not on the regular. I don’t think he’d even ask you to call him daddy you’d just do it naturally because that’s the aura he gives off. The sunshine..bubbly persona fades once he gets intimate though, yes he’s still fun and flirty and it’s not always super intense. But Hoseok behind closed doors is deff a far cry from JHope...maybe a little closer to Jay. Dirty talk , spanking, drawn out forplay….hes more senusal then people may assume.  Weather he’s fucking you, or making love to you, he’ll leave an impression strong enough to give you something to get yourself off to every night. Even if you only get to have him for one night, the man knows how to put on a damn good show, no matter where his “stage” is.

J = Jack Off - Oh him and his right hand are besties...he strikes me as someone with a high sex drive so sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. He would be be shy about it either, he’d do it infront of you. Weather that be on purpose or you just happened to walk in on it….

K = Kink- Dom, gagging (IE he loves watching you gag on his dick), spit play, voyeurism, soft bondage, cum play, ,exhibitiosim, breathe play. Impact play,Praise kink, food play,Anal, choking…..MIRROR SEX MIRRORS ON THE CEILING  I could go on I feel like Hoseok is a FREAK

L = Location- The idea of getting caught/ someone watching would be such a turn on for him….but ideally probably his bed/ a hotel so the two of you can do whatever you want and be as loud as you want.

M = Motivation- I feel like he’s the type who loves being teased but likes to act like he doesn't, so you teasing him under the table at dinner. Or whispering how bad you want him to fuck you while you guys are out at a party, sucking on his neck. Innocently playing in his hair, only to take a firm grip at the strainds of hair at the nape of his neck. The sting immediately  reminding him of his head being buried between your thighs. Sexting...DIRTY TALK DIRTY TALK DIRTY TALK. Tease this man, sit on his lap...whisper in his ear that for some reason your aren't wearing any panties, grind against his lap….Slide his fingers under you dress to let him feel how wet you are….He also Lowkey has a praise kink, he really gets on on pleasing you..it strokes his ego watching you fall apart for him,..loving the control he has over your body...be vocal with him, let this man know how good he feels

N = NO- I think he'd try anything once...

O = Oral - Both, he'd take his time with you though, slowly letting his tongue explore every inch of your pussy before sucking your clit between those pouty lips of his. Humming out from how good you taste while his stealthy fingers were being sucked in by your heat. He also loves overstimulation, oh your crying for him to stop? Perfect let me just latch my arms around your thighs and bury my face even deeper into your pussy, “Stop trying to run away from me, I know what your pussy needs and you can handle this..give me another one baby..”  That would be the only hit of Submissiveness with him, when he’s between your thighs this man is aiming to please...Que Tony Toni Tone’s “Whatever you want” He’ll give you whatever you want. Nothing gets him going more than the sound of you coming.  He loves watching you on your knees for him, prefered position is with you on all fours while he fucks your throat so he can have full access to your ass, and slide his hand down to play with your pussy when he wants to. His dirty talk goes through the roof when your sucking his dick...he’s also extremely vocal..jaw tight, heavy lids..but he’d never take his eyes off you.

P = Pace - Depends on his mood I feel like people assume because he's so hyper that he must fuck like  jackrabbit. Which yes he can but he can also go slow and deep, in my mind I feel like his preference is somewhere in the middle..but in all honesty it would depend on what his partner wanted.

Q = Quickie - Again high sex drive so fuck yes to a good quickie..how often? As often as your willing to give it to him. If it’s early and your tired he'd have no problem taking care of the both of you. Either Missionary or spooning. Honestly probably spooning because then he'd have better access to your back and your  clit while he rolled his hips into your ass.Moaning out against the nape of your neck,in his husky morning voice  how warm and wet your pussy feels…….

R = Risk - AGAIN YES lol I feel like this man is freaky AF

S = Stamina -Just because he could last for hours doesn't mean he will, to be honest I feel like he's the type to want you guys to both get yours...chill for a minute then round 2 and 3 and ETC. Not necessarily always in the mood to try and hold out forever and a day to cum, he'd rather let you come and slide back in after your pussys already dripping, pulsating,sensitive, swollen.I also feel like he bounces back quickly. Meaning if he ever came to quick if he stayed in you and you guys were making out it wouldn't take long for him to get hard again.

T = Toy Yassss he’d love for you to own toys...more so for you as opposed to him, he;d be the type to get you vibrating panties ...want to control the speed on your vibrator….buy you a couple butt plugs..oh yeah,,,hell yeah

U = Unfair- On the regular he’s not much of a tease, but if your acting up and acting like a brat and he has to get in full daddy mode, oh hes edging you until you cry,

V = Volume- I feel like he’s very vocal, especially because he knows how much you love it, like I said he lowkey has a praise kink both giving and receiving, a lot of gravely moans..I feel like he swears a lot to when he’s fucking. He's A moaner...even when he’s speaking to you “God baby you feel so good, so fucking good”. As we all know he’s very good at playing with the animation in his voice, so he can add different tones depending on  what you like...sometimes even a hint of neediness here and there. NOT saying he’d fake anything, he’d just alter the way he talks to you depending on what get’s you going...

W = Wild Card - OHHH I don't know, for one I feel like he'd be down to give and receive a lap dance, he’d tgotally loved if you guys had a stipper pole...I also dont think he gets jealous easily...and seeing you out in your tight little dress at the club with friends while guys are gawking would only be a turn on for him. Now if one of  them approached you that’s a different story...but I feel like he’s secure enough that he’d loved seeing you strutting around in your LBD swaying your hips to the beat with your girls while he watches. I think he'd enjoy PDA...casually .letting his hands roam down your back, giving a quick squeeze to your ass, neck kisses…. I also think he'd love going to the strip club WITH YOU….the two of you would end up all over each other in the backseat of the car on your way back to your apartment.

X = X-Ray- I don't feel like he's abnormally large but I do think he’s thick...thick AF

Y = Yearning - LMFAO GIRL  you better get your kitty a heating pad and some ice,

Z = ZZZ- I don't think it’s instant for him  but he’s definitely making your ass go “Night, night “ right away….The minute he pulls out your ass is done.. Who needs melatonin when you have Hoseok!

That’s all she wrote! Lol again this is just my take..feel free to lemme know your thoughs on any of these, 

Love you guys as always,

Rocki 

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: Soul Eater: A New Madness Consumes?

Next, @emiralnova (Ryu on Discord) stopped in to talk about her Resbang, Soul Eater: A New Madness Consumes? Here’s some of what went down:

Q: What made you think of the plot? Did you know how you were going to end it before you started writing? (I really loved the canceling out concept).

Ryu: Lolololol what is plot? I didn’t have too much of a plan going in. I had their mission sorta laid out, but after the mission I winged it. I feel that writing this was a tad difficult because I wanted to stay in canon and omg never again lol, but it was really fun and satisfying towards the end.

Q: Do you feel like your writing style grew/improved while writing? Was there anything you wish you could have included or that you cut out?

Ryu: I think I improved a little just by the act of writing, which I need to do more of, lol. And I think it was jaded who mentioned “what happened to Maka's christmas gift?” and that kinda got lost in the end, my bad lol.

Q: Do you have any favorite beta comments you’d like to share?

Ryu: Omg there was one thing that marsh said: 'Be the laxative Soul.'

Q: Was music important to your process at all, and if so, are there any songs/playlists that were relevant?

Ryu: I tend to not listen to music when I write cause it distracts me. Unless it fits the mood I need. But usually, no music.

Q: What are you most proud of in this bang?

Ryu: I think I’m really proud of what I did with the mission to the moon and rescuing Crona. Like, I had to plan out what I wanted and it was like a few days before posting, so I crunched it out. And I pulled the whole cancel out and 8 kishin horcruxes out of my ass, but it worked out.

Q: What are you working on next?

Ryu: I am working on nothing writing-related atm.

Q: Was there anything in mind that you wanted to do with the Christmas gift? :0 Like, if the notion hadn't slipped away?

Ryu:  I sorta wanted a more romantic scene to happen and it was supposed to happen before Maka collapsed. But that scene ran away from me so it didn’t work out ^^"

Q: Okay your villain was so interesting, how did you come up with that concept?

Ryu: Oh, the wizard. So like during my first Resbang, I had a dream that basically took place in Brazil at the monolith and there was a guy that was there and was speaking mysterious words to Maka, and that is sorta what I pulled on the entire first mission. His design is slightly based on that one antagonist in BNHA. Slade? Shade? I forgot his name. STAIN, HIM.

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/263055402583851008/409538871441883138/tumblr_o9sua1jpR61vux8v6o3_400.gif

Ryu: Like his posture and hair and skin were the same. [He’s] maybe less thug and more old and evil.

Q: What's your writing process like?

Ryu: I definitely work better when I plot out my shit point by point, so if I were to deviate, it can happen but at least I had a point for the scene. And it was hard cause of laziness buttt the checkins really helped me decide what would actually happen.

Q: Is there anything you wish you could change?

Ryu: I kinda wished I had more time so that I could maybe have a better ending. I feel like the cancelling out was good for the circumstances, but it felt like cheating to me, but it largely worked out and I was ok with it.

Q: Why the amazon?

Ryu: Hmm idk. I think the guy I liked at the time was half Brazilian so I just… made it so. But it wasn’t done in the fandom yet, so I felt that Brazil was a safe place to host my mission. And I also pictured tons of trees and tropical areas. So… Brazil.

Q: Who is the Wizard? Does he have a real name? Is he actually Mabaa's brother?

Ryu: I didn’t have a real name for him. And it’s rumored but not confirmed, like I said in the fic.

Q: Do you think your view on characters changed or anything as you wrote?

Ryu: I felt like I was stretching Maka’s mindset during her fall out but it was okay? I think? Whenever I think of Maka, I tend to imagine her as like this brave, no nonsense sorta girl that wouldn't really let her emotions hold her back? At least that is what I struggled with this whole fic. But I think I did the best I could to try to make it realistic, and I think that sort of helped balance Soul out because he seemed to be the most put-together of the two. And I sorta drew my inspo from the sloth chapter from the manga to help me cement some of Maka's guilt.

Q: Did you have a fav moment in the fic. Mine is def chew toy Soul.

Ryu: Omg I love that part. I feel like my favorite part would be Crona and Maka reuniting. I think I teared up a little writing that scene. I felt guilty about Rag. Like, I wanted to save him too, but the black blood held me back.

Q: I really liked that he did the good thing in the end though. Like, he actually gave a shit.

Ryu: I struggled with that at first cause I didn't just want to get rid of him for no reason other than the blood thinning or something. I think it would've redeemed his character a little, so I was really happy with that. The ending for me somehow pulled itself together at the last minute lol.

Q: Were there any parts you had to rewrite? :0 And if so, why?

Ryu: Ughhh so the fic started with Spartoi waking up as animals??? That was the original beginning, and that was supposed to lead into the Brazil mission. But when I started to plot the story out, the story turned out much darker than I intended and so the beginning didn't fit anymore. So i had to start from scratch. At some point I wanted to rewrite first half so that the story became more linear than having the flashback, but I didn't have time for it. ^^" I did rewrite some paragraphs, but that was basic editing. I found that later, when I was in the writing process, there were some passages that were weak and long, so I cut a lot of stuff out, and rewrote them to fit the tone.

Q: Was there a scene that was your least fave to write?

Ryu: I feel like the Death Room meetings dragged me, but I had to do it. Also I have a thing where the death room is the place to spam info into dialogue. So in the future, I kinda want to deviate from the room for more nuanced info dumps

Q: I love that you dealt with witch relations and all those post canon dynamics, was that always the plan?

Ryu: i sort of wanted to play with all the things that happened after the manga happened, so it just worked out that the witches were there and I was dealing with magic/kishin stuff lol. And that Kid would need to prove himself somehow. I think Kid ended up being more of a central character than I intended, but he is a Shinigami after all lol. I wish I did more with Black Star and Tsubaki, but I have trouble writing them. ^^"

Q: What would you have done with B*S and Tsu, any ideas? :0

Ryu: Hmmm, I wish i could've used them as more plot devices instead of comic relief. Like maybe Black Star could've been more involved with... idk, something serious lololol. In which then Tsubaki would also come into play. I figured if anything, he would at least be there to give some advice and common sense in a funny way :D

Q: How did you come up with the whole cutting up Asura thing? And btw I love that it's acknowledged in fic how gruesome it is.

Ryu: Hmm I’m not sure how it happened but I knew I needed something to happen to Asura once he fell, and my instant reaction was 'cut him up into pieces.' We needed some blood in here, and the spreading it across everywhere sorta made sense as well to me. I didn't intend for it to be like 7 horcruxes, but it [was]. Whoopsss, sorry JKR lol. So yeah, it was mostly a kneejerk reaction. Because if the skin bag didn't work, well ok, let’s cut him up then lol. And he's immortal as well, so Kid had to do something!

Q: Do you think you'll do Resbang next year or any other big projects? :D It sounds like you grew and learned so much from it!

Ryu: I don’t have any active plans. I do have a few AUs on a list but they're hard affffff. Like Evangelion AU. That universe is like a trip and a half, so I don’t think I’m ready for that yet lol. In the meantime, I’m still mulling over my own OC universe I've sat on for ages. But who knows what'll happen this year. We'll see.

---

Thanks to Ryu for stopping by! Stay tuned for more transcripts!

[swearronchanel]

and my commentary continues: series 6, episode 2 (if this is now a thing idk what to title it)

You asked for it, my first class isn’t until noon tomorrow so I can sleep in & so, I complied Also the SAG awards finished at like 10pm so even after doing my night routine it’s still early haha here it goes …

- Oh shit I forgot color - ah I really like the new intro - Penny’s outfit is so cute - “Walk don’t run” stfu Sister Ursula this isn’t elementary school - “Have you lost your marbles bubsy” haha that’s cute - UGH I WANNA FIGHT THIS NUN - LET JULIENNE ARRANGE THE DAMN FLOWERS - This is when sister Ursula presses sister Monica Joan about the bon bons lol - “Unlike your sisters” guessing u don’t think u count - You’re damn right - Sister MJ sly af 😏 wish she was my grandma - Aw penny it’s ok sweetie all will be well - AlRight so where is St Cuthberts, is it closer than the London? Idk just wondering - I don’t care that much tbh - Damn this man gonna go blind how sad - I like knowing what happens when I’m watching bc I can’t take so much I get anxious - But are we not going to mention Patsy’s wig anymore? It’s still ugly, lucky emerald is beautiful anyway - - Ugh my bbys are still so hurt about the thalidomide 💔💔 - IT WAS NOT EITHER OF YOUR FAULTS - YES IT IS A MIRACLE PATRICK, YOU SHOULD’VE MENTIONED IT LAST WEEK but it’s all good - HE’S TOUCHING HER STOMACH AH - AND THEY KISSED Lmaoo I bet this will break Tumblr - UgH SUCH A SWEET MOMENT TO MELT MY COLD HEART - Jk this show has made me such an emotional mess, like I rarely ever used to cry or anything - But it could also be because of university diminishing my sanity - “We should really start telling people” - YEA PLS GIVE US A CUTE SCENE TELLING EVERYONE @ NONNATUS - - Buttt, I’m gonna guess it’s either going to be implied that they told them off screen or they won’t find out till she starts bleeding mid inspection ?? idk I’m just guessing, don’t come at me lmaoo - Patrick’s smirk “he’ll certainly understand” 😂😂 - SHELAGH’S CRINGING FACE I LOVE IT - YOU KNOW IM HERE FOR ALL CRINGEY EXPRESSIONS - Plus that’s my bby - - PHYLLIS SAW PATS AND DELIA - SHE KNOWS & IM GLAD IT WAS HER TO FIRST FIND OUT - - alright so let me be annoying real quick - From that clip from the casebook Valerie is problematic/lowkey racist & no estoy aquí para eso PERO I like her in the moment? - One, her outfit is cute - & B, she gets along well with my shelagh and seems nice.. I’m not gonna forget her comment though lol, so I’m going to stay neutral for now - - Ok the Marsh baby is born next - Lol sorry I love when sister Winifred is being cringey or funny but this was just kinda boring but I know it’ll get better later in the episode - BUT SERIOUSLY I WANNA KNOW SISTER WINIFRED’S REAL NAME - Idk why that was capitalized I don’t feel that strongly but I’m very curious !¡! - - Shelagh being all cute and cheeky giving those vaccinations - Penny is so sweet - - Alright this is so irrelevant but still, Shelagh is outside.. so Why would she throw up in a napkin in her hand? lol, all that open space 😭😂 idk I really hate throwing up and will not let my self throw up. Not even vlad can make me😷 - SHIT THAT EXPLOSION THO - what were they doing exactly? - like a bitch over here a lil confused :/ - MY LIL SUPERHERO SPRINGING TO ACTION YES BBY - shit George’s blind for good now it’s sad - and arthur’s gonna die damn - - look at disheveled Shelagh so damn pretty but I wonder when she got that cut lol - Lmaoo @ Valerie, so she knows the Nonnatuns - - Damn I’m only 17 mins in why do I talk so much shit to myself - Sister MJ sneaking that bread during sister Ursula’s prayer is me 😂 - I swear though if Sister Ursula tries to get rid of Sister MJ I will fight - My eyes roll every time this woman is on my screen - Phyllis chewing angrily is also me - “Travel visas there have been canceled” shit pats it’s too relevant right now - “I’m trifle deaf these days” PHYLLIS U ARE A GEM - Penny wins best dressed patient - - Patrick worrying is precious - SHELAGH TRYING TO HINT WHILE SMILING IS SO FUNNY BUT WHY - Lmao why are they acting like Tim is not literally right there? - Also this boy is 15 why is he not ever with friends - Of course he knew, he’s always around and isn’t dumb at all. He basically grew up around pregnant ladies tbh - “.. Good I don’t want to know any other details” lmao 😂 - I knew he’d be pleased but I lowkey wanted him not to upset or annoyed so he could have a good little story line - It’s not realistic that this 15 year old is so pleasant with his parents all the time - Like I was an angsty fright @ 15 - lol I’m acting like I’m old, I’m going to be 19 & I’m still like that^ with my parents a lot of the time - - Why do British people call bandaids “plasters”? Hm. I just think of plaster of Paris for like walls or whatever it’s used for - “I’m a slow healer” lol Shelagh is so precious - “If the baby’s a girl I’m moving out” I think it’ll be a boy. Actually Idk forget I said that - Don’t be nervous bby, speak up you got this - “That’s my girl” yes Patrick that’s our girl protect her at all freaking cost 😭 - I’ve gotten so far without saying “fuck” I’m proud - - “This is the dark before the dawn, but there is always a dawn” thanks sister I needed that - “I’ve committed a crime"😭😭 - I love sister MJ - also not gonna lie I cried a little the first time watching this - - Some mothers of color in the community centre makes me happy - Who’s the model though? 😏 - Someone find him & tag me - Ugh here comes sister “I ruin everything” - Honestly when is sister Julienne just gonna come out and say “you gotta go”? - No that’s not the way you do things - fuck yea sister J - “We must simply sit it out and wait for Churchill” - I HOPE THATS TRIXIE - BUT also I really want Sister Julienne to be the one who saves the day - Lol yea Babs your wardrobe should step it up but it’s okay - - Shelagh don’t be nervous you’re gonna kill it - Does sister Ursula even do anything? She doesn’t see patients does she? Nah she just makes everyone angry - Get up outta here - Lol I’m so Brooklyn for that - “Mrs Turner you look nice” - UM YES, MY BBY, her new dresses & coats slay - She finally took a break from the damn cardigans & I love it. Not that there’s anything wrong with cardigans but you catch my drift - Nah for real I wanted a fabulous wardrobe for Shelagh bc times are changing & Laura Main is literally gorgeous so she needs pretty outfits & got it I did - so here for it, now we wait for another pair of trousers. lets get it 1962 - this first dress had such jackie kennedy vibes, love it - - “Consequences be DAMMED” YES PATS - Phyllis and Sister J are proud, I really want one of them to press Sister Ursula - Look @ Delia actually being a nurse! - ah penny 💔 - - Shelagh’s so nervous at first but then is like YOU KNOW WHAT ASSHAT JUDGE - “Where is nurse Mount?” , “where she is needed” YES SISTER JULIENNE - love the blue coat Shelagh - “I’m not ill, I’m just tired and angry” same - Don’t cry bby - “Our best is worthless bc it won’t change anything” ugh crush my heart, especially that little hug. I need to hug them all - lol who invited Tom to the hospital - he’s so handsome though so it’s ok - TELL THEM, STAND UP - “We need to fight” yes ! - I was worried penny’s baby wouldn’t live - C'mon Pats be pc - okay patsy opening up, crushes my heart she’s so closed off but I feel - Here comes the wicked bitch of the east [end] - Whoops can I call a fictitious nun a bitch - YES PATS YES DONT TAKE HER SHIT - Aw patsy, you two will okay, I mean look sister Bernadette came back as Shelagh because of letters so you never know - - Shelagh’s baby blue outfit >> - she needs to go out in public more with her hair down and slay everyone’s life - “Not today.” Yes Delia - “You did it Mrs Turner, you made em listen!” - Yes tf she did. I’m so proud - the set makeup artist did a crazy good job with the burns - “We never really out grow our parents, we just think we do” aw I should call my mum and dad - mm maybe later it’s midnight lmao - DELIA SAID I LOVE U - I FEEL LIKE NO IMPORTANT COUPLE on here HAS SAID “I LOVE YOU” to each other ?? - They almost kissed aw - Fred just break the door damn - Reminds me a little of when Jenny left - Aw the Marsh fam - Phyllis you are gold - Phyllis is still learning Spanish, please give her an opportunity to use it! - the only Spanish speaking mother was conchita, wasn’t that the first episode ever? lets get another one - Anyway, this was so sad. - “The pain it costs to love..” PHYLLIS I LOVE You. You deserve everything good - Aw all the other mothers with penny! - Alright Lets hear it Vanessa - Aw Delia Bonus: preview for next week - my other bby Trixie is back !! - hope she loses her shit when she realizes sister Ursula is ruining everything + patsy/sister mary cynthia are gone - My bby Shelagh looks so pretty!💕 - BUT I KNOW NO ONE IS SHUTTING DOWN ANYTHING - I will not have it - Phyllis spilling the ever so obvious and boiling tea, sister Ursula is UNFIT - Pls let Sister Julienne say something crazy to her before she goes - Why is babs crying?? - ugh of course that’s the most of a preview we get - Nothing bad will happen to my bbys I won’t have it. Protect them at all costs or I’ll spontaneously combust - Jk but I might flip my shit or throw my laptop - But for real for Shelagh to miscarry 3 episodes in would be a waste of a storyline - Plus it is a drama, we’ll be shook for a while, then we’ll cry, we’ll laugh & then Vanessa Redgrave says something profound and we go on with the week - The End 🙃🙃 - If you read this far, you’re a champ - I did this for u all

[raganandhersurveys]

6/11/20~CIV

~Ready to answer 151 Questions?

 1. When was the last time you swam in a pool?

~last summer.... i really need to go soon 

 2. Do you like to party? 

~if it’s with people i like, for sure. the parties that people from my highschool throw are kinda lame tho://

 3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do?

~i don’t think my heart could take it because i lowkey still have feelings for him soooooo

 4. Are you a virgin?

~yes

 5. What are your parents views on your relationships? 

~my parents supported both in the beginning. i honestly didn’t open up to them a lot about my first boyfriend so i never truly told them about how bad our breakup was. however, my second boyfriend was different because our dads were best friends in high school. he was really close to my dad so my dad supported it and that made me happy. but since we aren’t together anymore it’s really hard for my dad to even mention him anymore. 

6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years, would you marry them?

~i don’t really have either one at the moment 

7. Is your best friend dating anyone?

~yes 

 8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing?

~it’s a tiffany blue ribbed t-shirt from aerie 

 9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrercrombie every day bother you?

~no because that was me in middle school. along with j.crew ://

10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up?

~lol yes 

11. What is one feature that you don’t like? 

~on me, my butt lol

12. Would people describe you as happy?

~i think so but it would also depend on who you asked 

13. Are you single? 

~i am

 14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single? 

~i mean yeahhhhhh just because i’m still going through it from my last relationship 

 15. Do you have Tumblr? 

~......

16. What about Xanga? 

~i have no idea what that is lmaooo i feel like that makes me sound super young 

17. Have you ever babysat before? 

~yep

 18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate?

~i wouldn’t say HATE but i’ve had a couple of teachers that i wasn’t a fan of but it was just because our personalities 

19. Ever shopped at Sephora? 

~more of a ulta girl but yes  

20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away, what would you do?

~again, don’t have one 

 21. Do you have any university plans? 

~i start applying to colleges this fall ughhh pray for me 

 22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do? 

~well it would definitely surprise me because she has a boyfriend buttt i would obviously be supportive of her decision and still love her just as much 

23. What are your views on sex?

~it’s a great thing ya feel 

24. Do sexual questions bother you? 

~not at all 

25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up?

~ummmm that sounds like some narcissistic stuff ahaha 

26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding?

~ughhhh yes 

27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’? 

~yeah lol i kinda have a stroke reading it 

 28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? 

~lol yeah?? 

 29. Would you ever date a friends Ex? 

~my friends have ugly exes so no lmaoooooo

 30. What’s the last book you read?

~me and sydney are currently reading since you’ve been gone 

31. Ready for 10 simple questions? 

~hit it 

32. What is your last name? 

~quate

 33. What grade are you in?

~i just finished my junior year so i’m going into 12th 

 34. What school do you go to?

~i’m not gonna reveal that srry

 35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring? 

~fall

 36. Favorite Color?

~pink

 37. Are your parents together?

~nope

38. Any siblings?

~i have one sister

 39. Favorite subject? 

~choir or literature 

40. Least favorite subject? 

~mathhhhhh

 41. Favorite song? 

~i’ve been super into slowed and reverbed stuff rn so any hip-hop/rnb song slowed 

42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy? 

~lol yeahhhhh

43. How many friends do you have on Facebook? 

~i don’t have facebook lol but on insta i have 787

 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country?

~yeah

 45. Have you ever googled yourself? 

~yep

46. Have a Formspring?

~again, proof that i’m young i assume lol

47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? 

~obviously go cause they’re free lmao

 48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park? 

~amusement 

49. Been to Disney world? 

~i have but it’s been so long 

 50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean? 

~bahahah uhhh i’m thinkin of something but i don’t think that’s what you’re referencing 

 51. Ever had a boyfriend? 

~mhmm

52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know?

~omg so many. i will never tell someone i like them until they tell me first or they make it super obvious they like me back 

 53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret? 

~most likely. i can’t remember anything specifically tho 

. 54. Ever drank alcohol?

~yes

 55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs?

~yes 

56. Ever watched The Hills?

~i’ve heard of it. i think it came on mtv in like the 2000s??

 57. What about Jersey Shore? 

~ughhh yes my mom and i still watch the reruns 

58. Ever called someone a slut? 

~as a joke 

 59. What do you think of short shorts?

~i wear them but not the ones where my whole ass is hanging out aha 

60. Does it bother you if people swear around you?

~nope 

 61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject?

~i have 

62. What about a B?

~mhmm

63. And a C?

~yes hate chem dude :(

 64. How about a D?

~nope 

 65. Ever skived?

~idk what that is 

66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle?

~between popular and the middle. i’ve never been an outcast 

 67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you? 

~my best friends are roughly my age, give or take a few months 

68. Ever been stabbed in the back by a close friend? 

~oh yes 

69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69?

~my humor can be immature so it doesn’t bother me 

 70. Ever watched porn?

~not on purpose lol

 71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month?

~none

72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock?

~when i had to go to school. man it feels like it’s been literal ages since i’ve been 

 73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays? 

~when i was in school, thursdays because it’s closer to the weekend but since quarantine i usually forget what day it is anyway

 74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join?

~ahah yeah my choir teacher would make me 

75. Ever performed in a talent show?

~many times 

 76. Have you ever cried in public? 

~maybe twice as an older person. i hate crying in public 

 77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad? 

~no there are things between both of parents that i relate better on

78. Would you audition or a reality talent competition? 

~nope

79. How many celebrity crushes have you had? 

~so many

 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? 

~not near as many 

 81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive

~jimmy garapollo, kelly oubre jr., dave franco, jamie dornan, and mark wahlberg

82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive

~madison beer, margot robbie, angelina jolie, julia roberts, and alicia silverstone

 83. Ever been compared to a celebrity?

~nope 

84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook?

~ok for the record everything that says Facebook, i’m inserting Instagram instead. but no i have taken down anything i deem embarrassing 

85. Do you think spending £20 on Lip Gloss is a waste of money? 

~it depends on the brand and if it has good reviews 

 86. Are you opinionated?

~lol yes

 87. Do you have a favorite store? 

~target, goodwill, urban outfitters, and antique stores 

 88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans?

~yesss i love them 

 No. 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny? 

~yeah quite a few 

 90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week? 

~lol yes 

91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school?

~lol 3 months ig since corona 

 92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand?

~sure?

93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture?

~lol no i love cats soooo it’s good with me 

 94. Own a pair of converse?

~yes

 95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites?

~LMAOOO yes

 96. If yes, are you one of them? 

~not for the one i’m thinking of 

 97. Do you text in class?

~yeah sometimes 

 98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most? 

~american eagle 

 99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?

~like 18?

100. Do you want to lose weight? 

~a little, yeah 

101. Ever seen a therapist?

~yes 

102. Ever watched porn?

~not on purpose 

103. Ever purposely ignored a text?

~all the dang time 

104. A facebook message?

~all the time 

105. A poke?

~idk what that is 

106. A friend request?

~yes but if i don’t want them to follow me i’ll usually just decline it 

107. Would you say you read into things too much? 

~definately 

 108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid?

~refusing for sure. i usually suggest the stupid stuff 

109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?) 

~yeah quite a few but they aren’t my best friends

110. Ever been called a bully?

~probably but like i don’t remember 

111. Ever purposely hurt yourself? 

~no

112. Ever gone to church? 

~yep

113. Would you call either of your parents screw ups? 

~lol no 

 114. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? 

~uhhh not really. i love my mom but we are NOT the same

 115. What do you want to do with your life?

~just to be happy i guess 

116. Let me guess… You have brown hair?

~i do actually 

 117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween?

~not yettttt

 118. Do you still go Trick or Treating? 

~no, i feel like once you turn like 17 people give you weird looks 

 119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you?

~lol alwaysssss

120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus?

~i guess a little but i don’t even know the last time i rode a bus

121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people? 

~yeah but not on purpose 

122. Ever had a credit card denied? 

~i don’t have a credit card

123. What’s the last movie you watched? 

~uhhh this movie my mom was watching called what lies beneath 

 124. Last TV Show? 

~wildin out 

125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do?

~probably cry not gonna lie 

127. Are you american?

~i am 

 128. Ever made yourself throw up? 

~nope 

129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend? 

~i have 

130. Are you Cute or Gross? 

~probably gross

 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”?

~no but they are definitely lying because i haven't grown since 7th grade 

 132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like?

~lol yes?

133. Ever had the lead in a play? 

~i have!

134. What about a solo in a concert? 

~yes as well 

 135. What kind of a student are you? 

~an a/b student for the most part 

 136. Worst subject? 

 ~It was always math<---- mood 

 137. Best subject?

~choir or literature 

138. Ever had a crush on a teacher? 

~no but i’ve always wished i would have a hot teacher 

 139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? 

~yeah because my mom can’t have kids anymore 

140. How late do you sleep in?

~like 9:30; i don’t sleep late 

141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them?

~lol yeah

142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you? 

~my friends are all beautiful genuinely 

143. Do you believe in love?

~i do 

 144. Would you consider yourself a good student?

~mhmm

145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?” 

~no but it’s kind of a stupid question 

 146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy?

~spicy for sure 

147. Are you going into High School this year? 

~no, this will be my last year :((

148. What about Junior High?

~lmaooooo thank goodness no

149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry?

~you’re ugly bahaha

 150. Where did you find this note?

~tumblr????

151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone? 

~none at the moment 

[startswithat-blog]

Nov 11

happy remembrance day i guess

long time no type, well 3 days but still a few things have happened since we last talked to end off the last post i opened it and he said something along the lines of not now in the future which idk if im hyped about or weirded out but it'll do for now

so yesterday was the big night i ate twoish steaks, showered thinking the night was going to end with me high with some new friends but nope plans went south and im still kinda pissed about it

where to begin okay I was supposed to finally meet T get high with him and his friends and bri was supposed to come with, he friend was supposed to come and we’d go to a party after 

buttt no the friend and party cancelled but hanging at res was still on bri gets into bed i tell her dont fall asleep we need to go she said shell get ready at 9 i get up  to shower at 8:30 i go back down and shes sleeping and im trying my hardest to get her out of bed but nobody can get her to do what she doesnt want to do 

she was all excited for the party but now that its cancelled it doesnt matter about our plans shes all of the sudden exhausted i tried for 30 mins and she starts getting rude and kicking me literally off her bed and i eventually give up and im pissed i say then dont talk to me about anything

all the while T’s snapping me telling me, looking forward to me coming and i had to bail on him bc shes deciding that tonights the night she wants to be a selfish bitch

let me tell you now weve had these plans festering for a week 

and as much i hate to admit care about what people think to an extent so when people are waiting for me expecting me to be somewhere no matter what ill be there unless soemthing serious happens

if i say im gonna do something ill do it yet sis cant say the same

i was pissed and T was snapping me during telling me that we cant not come he already paid for us and in this moment knowing that weve had plans that she said she was gonna commit to people relying on expecting her people have already paid for her this bitch still doesn't come that got me pissed i literally prayed i wouldnt choke her out and hate her forever and swore to myself that i wasnt going to talk to her again

this might be an extra reaction in your eyes yet the true tea is shes done this before frosh week all over again we buy these 40$ braceleet which were just a waste of money bc we didnt go bc she didnt want to and yes ik what youre thinking i couldve went alone then and i couldve went alone now but you know what i suffer from anxiety i

its not as severe i dont think but im uncomfortable in situations where i dont know anyone and its not like i couldve drank to get comfortable bc there was no booze at the parties

but this time i wouldnt have mattered if i was comfortable or not we had plans and she broke them (”you went and broke our lives” a quote from the lovers dictionary i thought of) so with or without the anxiety im still pissed imagine having palns that you and others are looking forward to just for them to get cancelled at the last minute it sucks and when someones being a bitch and acting like theyve done nothing wrong makes it even worse

oh yeah not only are all the people who were expecting us mad, i looked bad and i had to pay him back FOR WEED I DIDNT EVEN SMOKE, MONEY I DIDNT HAVE FOR WEED I DIDNT SMOKE i went to bed not high no new ffriends and pissed one of the worst saturdays to date

the only extra thing that i did yesterday waas believe that we werent gonna speak againa nd that id move

i want to move but im not because she doesnt want to but you know what next semester im leaving whether shes coming or not

its not a product of this i based my living situation completely off of her and where she was going but the tea is the people are weird and its too far especially through the winter

i woke up this morning still mad but as ive proably not mentioned i cant hold a grudge for long not because i have a big heart or whatever but atleast i think because i never could with my mother and it programmed me somehow

im not talking to her and get this im snapping T all about this and he tells me that she snapped me saying sorry and that i wasnt talking to her like ur not gonna apologize but snapping T is gonna change something i was pissed and said her feelings have nothing to do with mine which is the truth i mean i didnt do anything wrong

anyway she comes out and apologizes to me i say whatever ask her if shes paid him back she says she will

i mean i dont think im overreacting it was a shtty thing to do 

soso were talking but im being dry, i mean i want to forgive her and i mostly have but idk it just showed me you cant rely on people 

T’s telling me its fine and i should forget about it and let it go but i wanted to go and the fact that she did killed it for me

now as mad as i was and might sttill be i cant help but to think that maybe eveything happens for a reason i wasnt meant to meet him that night 

i remeber how pissed she was when i accidentally took her case and that was an accident this was purposeful and didnt think how this would effect me it was selfish point blank i think im just pissed that i paid for weed that i didn't smoke and that on tp of eveything she still tells me to clean the bathroom thats also gotta stop her telling me what to do i moved out of my moms house  and i dont plan on returning full time yet here i am

writing about it makes me calm down and i think im gonna forgive i just felt betrayed thats all

i still want to move if not december next semester whther shes coming or not i probably shouldve lived on res or went to trent but whats done is done cant go backwars only ahead 

all that shit aside i spent the day doing absolutely nothing and having another meltdown about how my life was pointless and meaningless and i dont know what im doing with it or where its going so i spent it watching old movies god i wish i knew what my purpose was then i could work towards it and not feel worthless

B went to a meeting almost three hour ago she texted me asking if i was okay and idk why shed ask im not the one outside the house and then her phone ddies 

to be continued

[kyandice]

14/02

It’s Valentine’s Day and before today i was in Malaysia for a few days and I could only think about the things i could buy for Bryan. Lmao I bought a bag of snacks and chocolates and I was extremely excited before giving it to Bryan. So yay when I got into his room and stuff he started eating those cheese sticks anyways I love their cheese. I forgot what brand that was but I swear that brand has the best cheese in the world. So Bryan also almost finished the box of cheese dips with me he wanted to save like a box for his sister, but well he told me that his sister didn’t like the cheese soooo boohoohoo maybe small kids have slightly different taste buds. So while I was in Malaysia I went to this store and well it was filled with anime stuff and idk kpop stuff. There was like a lot Pokémon stuff to so i decided to fill the Valentine’s Day bag that I’m giving Bryan filled with Pokémon stuff. I really forgot how much I spent on that shop but I bought a Pikachu plush 20-25cm I thinkkkkk I don’t rmbbb maybe smaller lolll. And I also got like a few tiny legendary Pokémon figures they aren’t like real legit figures but i thought it would be kinda cuteee. So I kinda made a box and put it in so it wouldn’t look that awkward scattered around in the bag. There was also this fake Lego Pokémon thing and I decided to buy it for him because it looked kinda cute I don’t think he kinda fixed it buttt :

 So we had decided to Skype each other. Well apparently it’s 15/02 but like I haven’t slept so it’s counted as 14/02. And yea. Around 12am Bryan asked me to do something that I just didn’t want to do so he became angry and I became angry. And then Bryan suddenly cut and ended the call on me so I got angry and I told him that other guys wouldn’t treat me like that. I mean I don’t get angry fast, but when I do I go all destructive I’ll get insensitive to other people’s feelings and I will do anything just to make that person feel down. Also when I get angry, I don’t get angry easily and instead I’ll get angry because it was a built up thing or something. So after he cut the call with me i got angry and then I texted him saying like insensitive stuff to him. 

 But then after I said all those angry stuff to him he said I broke his heart and he said he was the worst boyfriend ever and I started breaking down and started crying. So I realized I was angry and I didn’t mean everything I said but then when it tried to call him again he didn’t pick up. I guess I’m a bitch when I’m angry tbh I don’t deserve anyone. i become mean and I’m a pure asshole when I’m angry I just want to put people down to feel better about myself I’m such a coward

 Edit: this Lego Pokémon thing would prolly be his first Lego toy after like yearssss

 15/02

So I woke up worried and like legit I woke up with my heart thumping real fast cuz I was really worried about Bryan because of ystd night. So apparently I woke up late and by the time I reached Macpherson Mrt, Bryan was already there and then I started tearing up a little cuz I thought he was still upset with me. and well guess what he had a paper bag on his hands and he passed it to me and he said Happy late valentine’s day. Then I started crying.

Like I would always make sure he tells me when he’s back from home so I wouldn’t be so worried about him. And well he told me he was back home, but like actually he lied to me and he went all the way just to shop shoes for my Valentine’s day gift. First of all, I was so touched and like cuz he said that ystd night on skype was a prank and then I felt so bad for saying all the bad stuff to him. so I became like fuckingg guilty and i cried more.

(p.s. we promised each other not to get each other gifts for Valentine’s day cuz it was exam period and I didn’t want him or me to spend time for each other choosing our gifts rather than studying. but like since I was in msia, I might as well buy for Bryan stuff since I wasn’t even studying so like, might as well. but Bryan bought it when he could spend that time studyingggg.)

Anyways I appreciate that a lot and omg I was extremelyy happy and surprised also when he gave it to me. Like, I didn’t even expect ittt. I didn’t even expect any gift since like we also made a compromise not to give each other gifts but oh wellll

 So when we reached the sch library, I could finally see what Bryan bought for me. and to tbvvvvvh the first thing I was looking for was a card, and I was kinda disappointed that there wasn’t a card inside the bag. but when I opened the shoe box there was a card so I immediately brightened up :DDD and like I read the card at the same spot without putting it down like thrice before looking at the shoes. anyways the shoes are like damn nice. okay, i slept with the shoes I’m not even kidding I’m like so in love with my shoes I love black andd pastel pink so much it’s like two of my most favourite colours and it also has my name engraved on in istg the shoes are like so beautiful I cant stop looking at it even after I went back home. BUT THE SHOES ARE FUCKING $100+ LIEK WTF DUUUUDEEEE. FUCK HE CANT SPEND SO MUCH MONEY ON ME AGAIN. FUCK I FEEL DAMN BAD SIAAAAAA

 well after that, since it was still earlyy (arnd 9am?) we decide to just get out of sch library to like go his house againnn. Well we met Cindy on our way to the Mrt and what happened afterward was even funnier. Apparently when we came back we decided to join Cindy and the rest to study at the library, Cindy asked what we did while we were out we said we ate lunch but I forgot what Bryan said but he lied to Cindy, but cuz Cindy saw us outside the mrt she caught Bryan lying and lmao I legit facepalmed cuz hahahah we’re sorta exposed.

 so yeaaa we studied in the library with Cindy and I was studying math while Bryan was studying OC. he asked me a few questions about OC I tried to recall but then a few seconds later I had my hand flicked away again by Bryan.

like okay I’m happy he’s being straightforward with his feelings with me. like if he’s annoyed he’ll show it. AND I really like and appreciate that but sometimes he goes too harsh and I’m like urghhdskjhfldsajhfsdf

 Anyways Cindy and the rest decided to eat dinner and like I thought Bryan was still angry with me so I didn’t join them cuz like I want Bryan to enjoy his meal but oh well. instead of studying while they were eating I took out Bteh’s old phone and went on tinder I had 7 other Bryan matches anyway lmao. I also shopped online and there’s alot of things I want to buy after all my exams are over. and omggggg I want this softball keychain its damn cuteeee it’s like only $2+ with shipping blahblah but yaaaaaassss I wna get ittttt. But right, after that it was like 6:30pm and I have to go home cuz “curfew”. (my parents never mentioned anything like curfew but everytime i step home after7:30 pm I will be like scolded and tadaaaaa urghsdfnbsdf;kjf;kdf)

 16/02

I finally got my contact lensees. yayyyy I can finally wear them to training and I wouldn’t feel as insecure again. people also say that I look uglier without contacts on sooooooo,sighhhh. and sometimes Bryan would joke about me being ugly without contacts and that’s when I get insecure the most. also like at times, he would tell me about how he finds a certain girl pretty on ig and ill get insecure and jealous shit like wtf but yeah. but like, I appreciate he’s being honest too but I do get like sad and insecure when he talk abt how pretty other girls are. like Angeline okay omg I hate it the most when he talks abt fantasizing Angeline I hate that shit. like normally ill just be sad. but like Angeline, I get triggered whenever he talks abt her. but like again I appreciate and like his honesty, he tells me stuff but I also can’t help but feel insecure and sad tbh idk what I want lmao. maybe girls are confusing after all.

 17/02

Bryan started watching pewdiepie play undertale. he was kinda scared too but like I guess undertale is not as scary as five nights of Freddie’s but it tends to scare a person emotionally soooooo lol okay. I’ve asked Bryan to watch Flowey’s boss fight but he didn’t want to cuz he kinda didn’t want spoilers and like wanted to watch it in order. but oh well, in the end, he spent his money on undertale and he didn’t play the game apparently cuz he didn’t found it fun as he watched all the spoilers and now finding it boring with. I asked him to play geno but he also didn’t want to screw to game up. he wanted to start with pacific/neutral but he found it boring so sighhhhh.

 19/02

it was grading today I was vvvv nervousss. it is like legit my grading in 10years. And apparently now is non contact???? contact used to be allowed in sparring for gradings welllll. so I was huhhhh no head kick huhhh and also went like waitttt no contact???? Kim mdm heard me and she like snapped at me saying: yes laa u so long never grading meh? (well I wanted to talk back and said like welll it has been 10years since my last grading, but hahahaha no balls) no beef with kim mdm shes nice, im okay with her but I think she was triggered during that grading day. There was this girl, like I don’t personally know her (ig name aka beaticecwl??????) but she asked kim mdm smthing and idk what kim mdm snapped back but I saw this Beatrice mouthing wtf as she looked away lmaoo. still no beef with her tho I’m totally alright with her.

And then for grading, I made this mistake for my red belt pattern I screwed up like wtf omg I didn’t put my feet close tgt and that Indian judge/referee ( lmao idk what to call him) pointed out my mistake and I was like shittttttt.

after that, i had to sparr with this another girl and then sparr with RAPHAELLLL?????? I was like wtf what this fucking Indian guy doing. even it is like a non contact thing its like wtfff still unfairrr. also after i was done with the whole thing, everyone told me like that indian guy kept looking at me. so much so that he missed joseph doing some fancy kick, i forgot what kick he did but lmao that Indian guy, fking black face, like this means two ways but hahahaha ok.

After grading i just went to bishan library to study with him. it was like a vvv nice library okay next time i wna study with Bryan there.

 20/02

exams are tmr and I know no matter how much I study now, I still will fail lmaoooo sighhhhh. But anyways Bryan and I ended upp shopping at bishan and welppppp we bought lego characters tgttt yayyy. the lego store was like closing down so it had sales .and omg lego characs are fucking cute I cannot I want more of them but what is money :’)

Edit: so our first lego charcater we got tgt was supergirl and superman heheheeeee

 21/02

The first thing I woke up was to remember that it was Justin’s birthday. although like we don’t even talk anymore and I also can’t ignore the fact that Justin hates me,but I still rmb the days when he was a vvvvv good friend of mine and I guess i really appreciated him sooo :’) i wished him hbdae and like well, he didn’t even want a convo with me he just replied: errr okay thanks. oh wellll.

well so im officially done with math exam, i didnt do well i guess, but i couldnt say i did bad either,i did mehhhh, maybe a fail or a boderline pass. idk lmao i hope i pass for math :)))

Also today I saw Xavier in nyp at first I was kinda excited seeing an old classmate so i rushed in and called his name and said hi before even thinking. well i wasat least expecting a fake smile and a hi, but instead he just turned around, saw me, and went like, “oh, ewwww?”. and then at that moment Bryan was also there and i feel so bad like idc if I’m exaggerating but like I felt ugly immediately like wtf Xavier is a piece of shit i wish that he would die lmao. he’s a fucked up fuckboy like wtf he dumped his ex for another girl in poly Xavier should die. so anyways after he said likee “ewwww” I’ve never felt so ugly in my life before like tbh i want to cover my face and just dig a hole and cry in the toilet. im like insecure and the way he Xavier replied me; I just wanted to kill him. i got fucking angry while im feeling also fucking lousy about myself. I wanted to like run to xavier and smack his girlfriend although she did nothing then punch the hell out of xavier. but lmao i have no balls and I rmbered that xavier is some muay thai champion somewhere lmao idc and he has a lot of yaknoooowww friends so i shouldn’t like mess with him and stuff. but at my end ,i was like near to my tears and fuck ive never hated Xavier this much before like what did I seriously do to Xavier back in sec sch.

like back in sec sch, at a point of time when all the boys were making fun of me and stuff I was a little disappointed and upset that Geralyn was still talking and having fun with those boys. like esp Xavier and Christopher. like tbvvvvh i just stopped hanging out with them for awhile cuz like everyone found christopher cute and goodlooking, and chrisopther was making fun of me and stuff.

okay, I’ve never talked about this before and I really don’t want to but I guess I should like just say it. so it was Christopher who started making fun of me. I never knew why but I guess because I dated his brother K and well. maybe they both salty so they want to make my life a living hell. and at first, everyone else was okay with me. and Christopher, being a goodlooking guy, he became popular and well more guy wanted to like click and hang out with him. so to gain more attention Christopher decided to make fun of me more so he can bring me down and make himself look better. and also dianwei, he never had any friends so he had to also make fun of me so he could click with Christopher. I seriously don’t blame them, like they did this to survive school LMAO I BLAME THEM THEY CAN JUST DIE LMAO UNTIL NOW I HOLD GRUDGES. I WAS LITERALLY BULLIED LOL I DONT WANT TO SAY ‘BULLY’ CUZ LIKE FUCK IM SO ANGRY TYPING THIS RN. but yea after the end of sec 4 I just finally asked jashap and euan like: why do the guys in class hate me so much, what did I ever do to them and why are they just so mean to me. Then jashap and euan said like: “ is not I say one ah, the rest of the guys said that they don’t like you cuz you think you cute, but I think it’s a bullshit excuse la. you sometimes think you cute but I think Geralyn worse ley. I only think you cocky in sports but that’s all right cuz you’re really good and I understand if you get a little cocky.” and I srsly think it’s a bullshit excuse also.

I just feel insecure la. like if this wouldn’t happen in sec sch I wouldn’t be so insecure I will be like fucking confident, ill know my worth welllll i know I’m just decent looking i mean like seriously i dont wna tell myself otherwise but i tend to tell myself that im ugly and stuff. nvm i dont even understand myself rn. anyways even when Dianwei, xavier and christopher were making fun of me geralyn,wuli and emilyn always seemed to have fun with those boys and they always hangout and im always felt left out. cuz if i try to like join them christopher ,D and X will always like: eh, can ask her go away. fuck them even after i go away they W,G&E will still talk with the boys and im like nvm.

 And then everytime i try to tell geralyn how i feel, like: eh geralyn im sad and blahblahblah, then she would like brush it off and reply things like: its okay laaa. and ill be like (in my brain: WHAT DO U MEAN ITS OKAY LOLLL) Ookay i cant blame gerlayn. Shes pretty, everyone wants to hangout with her, be her friend. all the guys wants to talk with her and stuff. so i cant really blame her when she has to choose sides like me or the guys. and i know geralyn is a nice girl and she wont just give up on one side. She will like try to make continue being friends with both side. and i think this would one day bring Geralyn to her downfall. Like for geralyn, she must stop being so nice and seriously choose a side she thinks benefit her. she cannot choose 2 conflicting sides and make freinds with both like its really difficult to to see each other fight while youre friends with both. even if history were to repeat again, i would want geralyn to pick a side. even she would stop being friends with me i rather have it that way then she try to be friends with 2 conflicting side. i would understand geralyn if she didnt pick me and i wouldnt blame her, really.

  23/2

Today is Tammy’s bdae and shes also a vvv good friend. well we dont talk much anymore. but we used to click with each other since she was into horoscopes, anime and welllllll same stuff as meeee???

well bryan and i also decided to study today at bishan library and instead we went shopping again like omg istg we have the worst self control ever. we decided to just watch the SAO movie, the ordinal scale one. Anyways we went to that lego shop on sale again before the movie started and i bought batgirl and batman, bryan bought batman, joker & a box of nexo knights lego set. lmao istg bryan is still like a cute little kid. you should see his face when he fixes legos its just so cute lmaoooo. right now i just want to collect alot of lego characters omgggg welpppppp

after i went home,i tried studying for cep but lmao, i was alr in like holiday mood and like even if i studied it wouldn't srsly help la.

Anyways about the sao movie it was nice like i had feels but much of it was like confusing and lmao idk but yeah it was nice but lol kirito jesus-kun againnn. I wanted to watch sao with Tammy’ for her bdae but like fuck i damn lazy and tbvh i dont want to spend time with people who are no longer close to me. like i see no reason to like hangout with them. its awkward even after yall talk out of 'how’s life been’ and its just awkward so mehhhh. like if it’s yile or wuli or geralyn, its okay and it wouldnt be as awkward. i mean, i think im awkward to like almost everyone like, i cant keep the conversation going i have nothing to say and most of the times i dont initiate the conversation and it feels like i didnt put in the effort to like talk to them but sigh oh weeeeellllsss.

(but i really studied because bryan motivated me but like i accidentaly slept at 2am. siannnn faail laaaaa

lmao repeat sem alrrrr sighurghslfdkjhfdsakf)

anyways my father is like listening to some chinese songs now like i dont understand the lyrics but the song is like so nice and touching i feel like crying

24/2

Today is like cep exam and duh i wasnt even alittle bit ready. so lmao i just did 3 conversion questions and i decided that im done with the paper. i cant even confirm that my conversions will be crrt but i was ready to fail this anyways sighhhh. i left the exam hall after an hour and went to the toilet and poo-ed. and while poo-ing i had a message from Wuli that she wanted to meet me. so yay, we met up and she passed me some care pakage thing (the pakaging was like srsly cute) so after that i walked home tgt with wuli then i walked back to the mrt to meet Bryan. And wtf it was raining heavily fuckkkkk and i couldnt go back home to take my umbrealla cuz my fking maid was at home urghas;fh;dsaf. well so i met up with Bteh to study (apparently to study) but we went to dhoby to weeb it out. Bryan got me that sonic charcater gacha from one punch man and omg its so cute. I love bteh so much like hes the sweetest thing ever (wheres that crying emoji)

anyways, i had my whatsapp updated,REGRETSSSSSS. wa is like more laggy now on my stupid xiaomi phone with all the whatsapp story and shit wtf. why everyone copy snapchat fucking lame siaaaaa.

and peeepoooo :(((((, when i went back homeeee, i realised one of my sawamura’s feet missing and im like sooo soooo soooooo saddd fuckkkk. i wna find blue tack or clay soon to make his feet.

 25/02

its a saturday and wellll my 18th bdae isnt the best but it isnt one of the worst either. The best bdae would still be like 2 years ago which was my last softball game at Nationals back in sec 4 :DDD

lmao then tzewan told me that vincent made fun of me during lecture and well i cant believe he did that but oh weellll not everyone can be trusted. so much for trusting him and being such a good friend. i dont wna brag, but he fucking wouldnt get tgt with his ex if it wasnt for my help lmao what a bitch. i also realised that zane, vincent esp aloy didnt quite like a girl hanging out with them, so well i get left out everytime too. yaknow, after this, i feel that history might be repeating itself. first in sec sch, now in poly. isit like really my fault? like seriously, where did i went wrong. i mean i never had the same problem with girls before. but i didnt really quite like hanging out with girls soooo. its either im a loner arnd sch or i hang out with guys and end up having problems like this. so i told bryan like abt the whole thing abt vincent and then he got angry because he wanted me like to make a police report of him giving me sexual harassment HAHA out of revenge( vincent asked for sex like twice ). but lmao i no balls so bryan got angry. Bryan’s kinda cute when he get’s angry

only sometimes tho. actually last sem i was extremely motivated not to fail anything cuz i rlly dont want to like remodule and get seperated from jeffrey and vincent but oh well. now i dont mind remoduling cuz V,A and Z doesnt mean anything to me now.

 and just when i thought i was gg to have a bad bdae, because of fucking vincent, well apparently i have other friends that would cheer me up. Bryan tried cheering me up, and i enjoyed the meal with my family too.

but tkd ppl made everything bttr like most of them wished me hbdae and yayyyyy it made me happpy soo :DDDD ck also sent a pm and like thats damn cute of ck to do soooo.

but like,im kinda salty and i envy how everyone bought regine a stuff toy and like celebrated and bought her a small cake like okayyyyyyy. LIKE I DONT GET IT IM CLOSER THAN YALL THEN REGINE IS TO YALL WTFFFFFFF. okayyy nvmmmmm

welllll i told my father i want to start learn how to crochet (so i also can make bryan stuff) he let me spent like alot items in daiso to buy yarns and stuff yayyyyyy.

 26/27 of feb

I sneaked out of my house to see bryan. he ubered to aljunied’s mcd and he actually bought a star wars lego set and some rabbit woman from the batman lego movie. Well, we went to some void deck and he started fixing the lego thingy again. idk but he looks fucking cute when he does that?????

but okayyyy after that we ubered back to tpy and I waited for bryan to go back and shower until 5am. so like we didnt sleep the whole night and i feIt kinda guilty cuz it was like bryan’s exam and he was tired af. so after Bryan’s OC exam we went shopping and we went to like more lego shops and bought more lego characters :DDDDDDD like omg all i want to do now is to like collect lego characters :DDDDD and like we had to feel each packet for batman. i found harley quinn and yayyy. I also felt for a few batmans and yayyy i got someee. and andddd my junior said that she had all the harley quinns and she wanted to give it to me so yayyyyyyyy

 28/02

so today is my last paper, it’s fucking ipc and lmaoooo im not ready for it. okay so i left the exam hall after an hour lmao its a sure fail i dont even know how to do anything.

BUT YAY exams are over and I can finally haveee funnnnn. So we went to like tpy’s the singpost thingy. Bryan was like gna collect smthing and I thought he was gg to get the phone cover that he bought. well turns out the parcel was for me its like something he bought for my bdae :DDDDD and like we went to pastamania to eat. fuckkkk i was like vvvvvv excited to open the thinggg. the pakaging felt like that it might be a mug. well, i gget to open the pakaging before eating andddddddddddd IM LIKE SO HAPPY Bryan got me a Toriel figure frm Undertale like fuck it’s so cute istg. I didn’t like really expect anything for my bdaeee presyy????? like I thought he gave me the sonic gacha alrrrrr. but tbh im afraid he spent quite alot money on me so urghksdhlkhfkdsf. AND I FOUND OUT THE SHOES COST HIM $200+ NOT $100+ FUCKKKK BRYAN WHY

So since we wanted discounts on the lego stuff we buy frm the lego store, we went to watch the batman lego movieee. so like if u show your ticket, you can become a member and you’ll have like 10???20??% off for like discounttt???? but yeahhhh Bryan got a membership and yayyyy. The movie was vvv funny and cute like omg I like Joker the most he’s damn cute????

fuck i bet this thingy is gna have alot of typo error i didnt even check the 3rd time but whatev i wanted to post it for a vvv long time but ok idc anymo :D

dont ask me why im spamming here with lego gifs they are fking cute okaiiiiii