#idk this can't be normal right??
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Either the people around me are lying because they don't want to admit they're wrong, OR I really am saying things out loud that I don't remember saying out loud, and NOT saying things out loud that I thought I had said out loud, and uhhhhh... that's concerning! :')
#I feel like I'm legitimately insane or have an extremely early onset Alzheimer's case or something#'cause like#why am I not knowing if I actually said things or not#and people keep telling me 'you said this other thing' or 'no you never said that' etc.#like is my brain really that fucked up orrrrrr#idk this can't be normal right??#I'm in a constant state of sleep deprivation and I sometimes take meds that make me drowsy but like#I shouldn't be acting like I have no brain matter left???#what the fuck is wrong with me#best of all is how people see me suffering and they're like 'yeah she's obviously forgetting stuff to be a bitch so let's be mad at her! :)#OR what I said before about how I'm not forgetting things and they're just lying to me.#I genuinely can NOT tell what is going on and it's scaring me...#but everyone blames it on me either way#I REALLY wanted to have a good day today but like. things like this really hurt :')#I feel like I'm too fucking stupid to function and I'll never accomplish anything#because I literally can't even keep track of what I'm saying or doing vs. what I'm just imagining#what the fuck I hate this#just put me down already
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I'm rewatching GF since the whole world seems to be into it right now (thank you Alex and the Book of Bill) and AGHHH I FORGOR about the body swap episode when the twins find the secret room and Stan picks up Ford's glasses and later we see him sitting on the couch looking at them wistfully...
Shut up shut UP that's NOT okay
#IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT ALWAYS GET ME.#The tiny little hints throughout the series about Ford#Stan holding his glasses BREAKS me tho. Idk why. It just hurts 😭#Gravity Falls#Stan Pines#Stanley Pines#Also thinking about how Stan used that same room right after Ford disappeared through the portal#Man..........man. MAN. 😔#I can't WAIT to see mullet Stan tbh. He's just the right amount of pathetic and sopping wet. You know?? LOL#My poor little meow meow. I love him so much. LisTEN#Also I watched Scary-oke last night and ONE OF MY FAVORITE EPISODES PERIOD!!!!#It's so good. Pines family bonding? Bragging over beating Gideon? STAN BEATING A BUNCH OF ZOMBIES#AND LOOKING REALLY HUNKY WHEN HE DOES AND WHEN HE BRINGS OUT THE BRASS KNUCKLES#SHEEEEEEESH!!!#I'm normal about him okay. I promise. I swe#Shima speaks
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Gordon/Barney/Alyx is really really funny to me conceptually bc it's like, two hot geniuses in their 20s who look at the 40-something smartass who hangs around and go 'yeah that guy. we both want him carnally'
#and they're SO right#half life#half life 2#gordon freeman#alyx vance#barney calhoun#freemance#valhoun#freehounce#idk what the hell their poly ship name is sorry lol#(me. posting about a ship with an age gap on the 'can't be normal about age gap ships' website:#SURE HOPE THERE ISN'T ANY AGE GAP DISCOURSE IN HERE)#this was the first time I've drawn any of these characters in LITERAL YEARS and. wow........#feels so crazy that this was the fandom that got me to join tumblr in the first place (in 2011!!!!) and I used to draw them ALL THE TIME#interests change I guess#but I think I'll always come back to hl and portal occasionally. they're too much a part of my dna at this point LOL#my art#description in alt text#oh my god I just went back through my half life tag and the last time I drew these three was when I drew that freehounce meme LMAOOO#how serendipitious
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Prompt 129
Danny, now an adult, has just moved to the city of Gotham. Actually he’s been an adult for a while, but every once in a while he has to end his life, at least legally, lest someone get suspicious. Usually whenever Dan or Ellie does an oopsie and pulls a firebird with being reborn through their core.
So legally, one Danyal Nightingale, has just moved to Gotham to open a bakery (Thank you for the wonderful recipes and bonding Clockwork) while taking care of his practically newborn son Jordan. Of course Elnath- Ellie- had to pull a core retreat too, which is just his luck.
It wouldn’t be a problem, but he’s trying to not be so broody. A ghost- even a half-ghost- carrying another core though, has instincts turned up to like, eleven. Which again, wouldn’t be much of a problem if not for someone falling into his dumpster late at night bleeding. A vigilante, which he’s sworn to stay away from that life years ago. And it’s not a lethal wound…
But his instincts are screaming to not let the person bleed all around his nest, and he knows from experience that it would continue to bother him. Which is how he ends up with Batman on his couch to Dan’s glee if the ghost chirps are to go by.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#potential spirit halloween#This is before Tim joined as robin but after Jason dies me thinks#Bruce is on a self destruction spiral and there was a lucky hit that managed to give him a concussion#He might cry a little when he first sees tiny baby Dan peeking at him from the crib#There's no proof of it though and he was out of it so it doesn't count#Danny is not impressed with this man's self destruction spiral#No you can't go back to wherever your base is you are sitting your ass down until your ribs are no longer bruised and youre not concussed#You can also just stay right there until breakfast is done you ancients damned idiot#Eventually Bruce will definitely realize the Nightingale family aren't human but for now he's stubbornly trying to leave#Normally when ghosts reform from cores they don't deage but that's not how it works for halfas who have living bodies#Hence them joking about it being like phoenixes or firebirds#does this count as mpreg???#idk it's like 3am rn lol
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i have just realised that not only did jan post this three times but the two photos are different and neither are a still from the video... you're telling me he took a video and both portrait and landscape photos of this moment... just to bully nace on social media? jan why are you like this?
#joker out#jan peteh#nace jordan#it's hard to tell but the duvet cover visible through the mug handle is not visible in the video when he's in that position#also his right hand is in a different position and the angle of the mug etc etc#so though they look identical jan made nace do that multiple times to take a video AND multiple photos both portrait and landscape??#AND HE'S IN BED#i can't be normal about this it's impossible#nacko my beloved#jance#i guess??#idk that's pretty gay to me... /j
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[ID in alt text]
Another wip! It's kind of almost done :)
#sha gojyo#saiyuki#wip#gotta tag talk for a sec -#idk if it's weird or inappropriate considering the smiley mood of the wip but I just kinda need to#cw: death I guess#life's so so bizar right now - just. incomprehensible in a way#I don't know how to describe what's going on in my head#with my dad being on his death bed#on one hand it's all consuming and on the other. like. life is still happening? I worked today. did work things#I'm working on this light-hearted little comic and it feels almost rude to keep drawing it#like whatever I make should be sad or angry or whatever#or not at all#but this is still what I wanna draw#I keep thinking about fucking Inktober bc it's something that brings me joy normally#but I will absolutely not be able to do it and it's so so so unimportant in the grand scheme of things#I have sketches that I like so idk they'll get finished eventually#got a message about a commission I would love to do but the deadline is in around December#and I just can't know if I'll even be able to do#it's just impossible to imagine my dad pretty much definitely not being here in two months#let alone what life will be like and what *I'll* be like#it's so weird#danikunst#fanart#described#1
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Okay so I recently, finally, watched Wish and I have some thoughts. Overall, not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, but still has a lot of fundamental story problems and I've got to get them off of my chest. I'll mostly be focused on Magnifico because I think his motivations and arc largely represent the problem with the overall theme.
Okay so my biggest problem with Magnifico is his motivation. His tragic backstory. How on earth does he go from losing his whole family to thinking, the only way he can prevent that from happening again is to grant wishes? The logic doesn't track. It almost makes sense in his creating a kingdom where he protects everyone and "doesn't even charge rent," but it does not make sense with his wish granting. Having a great need to be control to make sure he doesn't lose anyone ever again can be a compelling motivation for a villain, where we see lines crossed that don't justify the intent, but in the movie, he's too self-absorbed to seem to have any actual care for the people of Rosas.
I think if the motivation was changed to something like Magnifico had once been a bright-eyed, enthusiastic wish granter who blindly believed all wishes were good but learned the hard way that that wasn't true could have been a better fit for the overall goal of the movie. Imagine that he granted a wish for a wicked person who used that wish to hurt others, or if Magnifico granted a wish but that wish ended up ruining the person's life because what they wanted wasn't what they needed (i.e. Remember The Princess and the Frog? Dig a little deeper) and that person could have went after Magnifico and blamed him for their troubles (harkening back to We Don't Talk about Bruno). This would be an understandable tragic backstory for Magnifico, and better explain why he's so careful about the wishes he grants. And, perhaps the reason he keeps the wishes he doesn't want to grant is to keep the people in his kingdom docile. No one will be angry with him for not granting their wishes if he makes them forget them and lose that drive and motivation, which makes more sense than the unexplained hording them like he does in the movie? Why does he keep them in the movie other than admiring the wishes? It doesn't make sense to me.
This would give Asha more of a reason to oppose him, if it's shown how his desire to not get hurt or to inadvertently cause hurt turned into a paranoia where he drains people of wishes to fly or play music that inspires others. And, as a side note, we need to see more of how Rosas is a kingdom of people who lack drive and motivation, where only those younger than 18 have that special part of them that inspires them to chase after a dream (something that Astor Rhymemaster touched on). Because that's the point of wishes, right? That's the point of the entire Disney canon. A dream is a wish your heart makes. That star can only get you so far, it takes hard work and determination. It's wanting something better in life, it's dreaming of leaving behind all you know to chase after a tangible light. It's finding a new dream, it's finding a new wish as you grow and learn about yourself and the world.
I don't think the movie Wish understood what makes wishes so important in Disney stories. You know what wishes do? They ignite change. It's not about getting what you want, it's about finding the courage to chase after something better. Ariel wants to be where the people are, but really she wants to be somewhere where others are willing to understand her and in the end, she finds that and makes amends with her father, who finally is willing to see her for who she is. Rapunzel wants to see the lights, and that desire pushes her to leave a tower she's been trapped in her whole life, learning that the world is not as cruel and cold as her abusive mother told her. Cinderella wants to go to the ball, to dance with people who treat her as a person and not a servant of cinders and ash. That wish is granted by a fairy godmother and gives her a hope that is worth fighting for, a hope that helps her reclaim what is rightfully hers; a glass slipper that fits only her and the love that comes with it.
Wishes inspire change. The movie should have been about that. Magnifico could have been right, that some wishes inspire negative change that can drag down multiple people. The kingdom of Rosas could have been so placid because change is scary. Maybe Magnifico could have convinced people, after taking their wish, that it wasn't worth it. Maybe the wish ceremonies could have changed so it wasn't portrayed as some sort of lottery everyone looks forward to, but Magnifico would grant wishes on the spot if he decided they were good and worthwhile, and he would lock away the wishes that would cause trouble and tribulations. 18 year olds could be enthusiastic to give him their wishes, thinking they were surely good and worth granting, only to forget their wish and be told that their wish would have only brought about their unhappiness, this would have justified a more solemn tone in the kingdom, setting up a world where people are mostly downtrodden, thinking their wishes are bad and pointless and they're better off without them. Imagine Cinderella or Rapunzel being told their wishes weren't good, reinforcing all the things their abusive families tell them, taking away that hope and courage to find something better for themselves.
Here's where the true conflict could come in. Asha could be onto this from the beginning, and her opening song could have been about this concern that the people who didn't get their wishes granted aren't willing to try at all. (Because, after all, why doesn't Sabino play music at all? Having that taken from him would take so much joy and creative expression from his life!) But why does Asha know something is amiss?
Simon.
Imagine that Magnifico has a strict rule not to ever share your wish with another person because then it wouldn't come true. It makes sense with our own superstitions, and then makes it so that no one knows anyone else's wishes. Maybe your best friend changes so drastically after giving up their wish, but you believe, like everyone else, that their wish would have only caused suffering. What can you do about it? Well what if Simon told Asha about his wish? What if Asha knew his wish wasn't dangerous and couldn't imagine a way that it could go wrong? That would give her a reason to doubt Magnifico and put more emphasis on how Simon has lost his drive like all the other adults in the kingdom. And it can also emphasize in the end that sharing your wishes and dreams with others can be a powerful thing. Just the act of sharing your dreams can inspire others to go after their own, and they can give you the encouragement to chase your wish too. Wishes inspire change, love gives you the courage to make it happen.
Imagine if the star boy used to be a human, who wished to help others and lost his humanity to do it. Imagine his wish confirms Magnifico's belief, that wishes cause suffering because star boy lost his tether to earth and is separated from the people he loves. Imagine how he foils Asha who also wants to grant everyone's wishes. Imagine him ensuring she doesn't make the same mistake he did while she gives him a reason to change again, to anchor himself to humanity again because he loves her enough not to leave for forever.
Imagine the movie confirming that, yes, change is scary. Chasing your dreams won't always make things better. You might fail more than you succeed and some wishes cannot coincide with each other, leading to grief and strife. But some wishes are worth it. Sometimes, chasing after something better and failing is worth leaving a worse situation. Sometimes taking that chance is worth it, and, like in all fairy tales, if you are kind and generous and act with love, that will make all the difference in the end.
Also, I know everyone wished for a Magnifico and Amaya evil power couple, but imagine if Magnifico was truly in love with Amaya, as he is in the movie, but that love is eventually his undoing. Like Amaya leaps in front of Asha, and Magnifico stops or redirects his attack because she's the one thing he loves more than himself and that is the weakness that Asha and co can take advantage of. Imagine Amaya keeping Magnifico in the mirror and he gets to dote on her from his imprisonment for forever. I'm just saying. At least 30 sickos like me would be into that. Imagine the depth it would give to the themes of love and change and wishing and how acts of love make all the difference.
Alright, I'll get off my soap box. I just really wish Wish could have been stronger because these fairy tales Disney is famous for matter. They really do. But the movie feels too stale and shallow and too much of a cash grab that knows the outline of a disney musical, but is unable to understand the heart of why they work.
#rose and rambles#wish 2023#disney#disney wish#if you read anything i post let it be this im shaking the bars of my cage#I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT FAIRY TALES AND DREAMS LET ME AT THE PEOPLE WHO MADE WISH SO SHALLOW#ILL MAKE THEM TEA AND GIVE THEM A GOOD SCOLDING#WHILE STEALING THEIR CLOTHES AND PUTTING ON A FAKE MUSTACHE TO TAKE OVER WHILE THEY'RE NIBBLING ON NICE COOKIES#THAT'S A TOTALLY NORMAL THING TO DO RIGHT#if you want to tell a good story you gotta tell it yourself <- my villain origin story#or at least my Sebastian kiss the girl moment. i can't believe they took out star boy. God forbid independent women have romantic interests#anyway im obsessed with how Magnifico always called Amaya “my love” and i think we can do beautiful and twisted things with that#Also i kind of hate the whole 'oh there's no saving him from this evil magic corruption' like le please that's the most stupid thing to eve#be in a fairy tale#just proves these people didn't actually read the snow queen#also also go watch Astor Rhymemaster she's a genius and explains songs IN SUCH AN IN DEPTH WAY#i haven't interacted with much other wish stuff so idk how others are rewriting it but this my ideal
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our flag means death S2E3: the innkeeper
#our flag means death#ofmd spoilers#ofmd s2 spoilers#shrimp gifs#it was just a very pretty scene i think#i'm laughing because i played around with curves -- as you do -- but then i had to manually bring the brightness down and make everything#more blue again because it's just better that way lol#god i'm having... so many little marbles bouncing around my head like#this post is already tagged with all the spoiler tags i think i can talk in here#the way it started i had No Inkling At All that this would be this kind of setting. so i didn't pay attention to the surroundings or all th#stuff. hell i could barely hear what they're saying because all my fancy schmancy english skills fall apart in the face of your normal soun#mixing. I MISSED THAT IZ AND ED SAID “LOVE” LIKE HELLO#but. but anyway. but. but once it was revealed that This Is All In Ed's Head. that hornigold is ed and everything is ed. man. god.#it's cold and wet and dark (ed likes warmth). ed was washed up on the shore with his face full of sand but THEN he got rescued by someone#who he hated and associated with all the pain and violence AND who then force-fed him soup so he could get better. who had pretty pieces of#glass hanging from his tent (there's no sun but the decoration itself is a promise of a pretty sighs when the rays of the sun hit#just right--) AND you can't forget the sandals. and the play-acting and aoughhhh EEEDDDDDDDD god he's so good HE'S SO GOOD#i dont think i should touch the delightful revenge scenes because they're dark as fuck and idk if the files i have are hq enough#to survive the becurvening. BUT. ed my love!!! i hope this is not where your insanities end
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is this a safe space
#personal#i think. romances in video games are getting out of hand. sorry#this website cannot be normal about it ever in any video game in like seven billion different ways#to take bee gee three as example the only thing i heard about it for the longest time was just. romance related stuff#nothing about the gameplay. or what the story was about or whatever. and it's like#i feel like i play games for vastly different reasons sometimes LMAO and like that's fine. everyone can play it however they want#but with the way everything just keeps circling back to romances all the time and the weirdass discussions around it. idk!#could just be a me problem though idk. but i AM right about this website not ever being normal about romances in video games#you can't get my ass for that. gestures at like 3 different big fandoms from the top of my head
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I wanted to say, bc I saw someone mention Geralt as an example of a predetermined character in an rpg that works, that yeah, I fully agree it can work! But in Geralt's case, for example, he's a well established character who's fully written before you start the game. He has his own traits, his flaws and shortcomings, history, relationships, etc. He's just as well written as any other character in the story, and the only things you have power over are his choices and a bit of his fighting style(sometimes his hair as well), but everything is made to fit with who this character is as established before the game even starts. Think of the origin characters in Baldur's Gate 3, it's the same thing- they're not customizable, they're established before you even start, and the only control you have is over their journey. None of these are ever meant to be a blank slate, and they're written as such.
With this Phyre character it's like they're trying so so hard to tread the line between "this is a character that stands on their own" and "this is a blank slate you can fully customize". What you end up with is a very "meh" sort of character, who's not one or the other, without enough wiggle room to make your own story however you want and not enough to get attached to them as they are. We get attached to Geralt bc he's a fully written character in the game, you just control his actions. The problem with Phyre is that they're neither a fully written character nor fully yours to write.
#and like ok it's normal to have limitations#like for example dragon age has background limitations right#but things are still left open enough that you can easily make your own story with those limitations#a story which could be wildly different from another player who chose the same background#and that's the fun of it#but this isn't it#you can't even customize their appearence for starters#which is a big part of a character's writing. you can't write a black character for example if you're forced to play as a pale woman#how could you write a native american who maybe never cut their hair bc of their culture when you're forced to play as mr or mrs undercut#honestly I think either you commit to making them a blank slate and allow as much customization as possible#or you just write a predetermined character that's actually compelling#sleep.txt#vtmb2#but anyway this is just my opinion rn with the current information#I could be wrong idk!! maybe they did it right. maybe when the game comes out it'll be so good I'll have to eat my words#but rn I'll be honest with u chief I'm not feeling very optimistic
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Are you FUCKING kidding me
I am 26 hours into the game. Twenty. Six. And i *just* got access to the fishing village.
#apparently I'm a complesionist then? idk i just have such severe fomo i can't deny side quests unless they're really *really* stupid#(looking at you ghost bugs. no way I'm doung allat)#disco elysium#I've also seen a lot of minor spoilers that are really *really* alluring and i *need* to see what they're all about#(most of them have to do with kim but i digress)#(apparently you can dance with him?? fuck yeah- i need that. there's also the iconic line “I'M SO FUCKING NORMAL RIGHT NOW” which ive yet to#encounter in the wild)
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Ok not cool why am I hearing voices
#i need to go to the doctor 🧍🏼♂️#somethings wrong because usually they're not this clear#its weird and i dont like it#they sound like people i know and its too much right now#little vent sorry but i think im actually struggling#im so confused#aurhhg#ren won't shut up#mental illness#idk sometimes they get really clear and it freaks me out#other times it sounds like a bunch of voices talking over each other and it drives me crazy#most of the time when they're clear they just have very boring conversations#wow i didn't realize how much this was affecting me huh#most of the time its right as im trying to fall asleep. i can't tell if its just my dreams?? idk#but sometimes ill hear very loud words that are super clear#aa its scary sometimes grrr but normally it doesn't mess me up#but i heard a loved one say “help me” and now im freaking out aaaaurgggg#gonna text them because i also have paranoia really bad#tw mental illness#idk just in case i guess#im fine just a little spooked jdkxjsjxj#anyways sorry for the vent/ramble i just really needed to type it all out#might delete later idk
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and sparrow's son loves the world so much and loves everyone around him and how can sparrow tell him that the world is cruel? how can he tell him that love will be punished and that cruelty is the only way to survive? normal's love scares him, he loves his son so much but that love scares him. he would do and has done anything for his son but he knows that it has led to his own ruin. and he loves his son but too much love has only ever harmed him and maybe he can take a model from his own dad and multitask.
maybe he can love his son but he hates him too, hates that normal can love and hates that normal can be loved and hates that normal can be so oblivious to the cruelty around him in a way that he himself lost when the world ended. he wants his son to have everything but loathes that fact that normal'll never try. that he just accepts life as it is. the way his dad did, when sparrow saluted henry and went along with the world's end and turned a blind eye to his wife's infidelity.
he sees himself in normal, maybe. maybe he hates that. because he lost himself, that day he lost his father's care and his mother's respect, and he can't bear to see himself lost again. normal needs to be cruel because otherwise he will be crushed and sparrow can't do that again. can't let himself be crushed again.
#dndads#dndads spoilers#i guess?#i'm sorry this is basically an extension of another rant i did on discord. so some points may not make complete sense but#i am so-- [wait i can't say normal fuck] regular. about the oaks#can you tell i think about them? can you tell?? did the art not convince you???#sorry if this is incoherent i am supposed to be writing an essay due in an hour but instead i wrote this.#hashtag no beta (not even myself) we die like hermie#this mainly goes off of the most recent episode and when sparrow told normal he wasn't proud. that whole interaction#yet again the point turns incomprehensible halfway though but we stay silly#also “hate” really isn't the right word for what i meant?#like the strength of the word is#but the general sentiment is just left of hate.#idk man#can't stop thinking about them#asdfdhg edit because i just. wrote the wrong name for one of the sentences. oops
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Anyone else feel incredibly disconnected from their childhood self and get really uncomfortable when that mental barrier is lifted and they fully realize that they occupy the same physical body as the child they used to be or is that just me
#might just be because the first time the barrier lifted was when I got stupid high and at first it was nice but then#I wound up having a panic attack on the bathroom floor and I've been scared of that feeling ever since but#the disconnect can't be normal in the first place right?#idk#I'm trans and fucked up ig
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made the gaang with this picrew cause i have too much time on my hands, enjoy
#almost didn't make suki#so disappointed in myself fr#it's like if they were normal teenagers but i gave zuko and aang their scar and tattoo because they looked wrong without them#dimpled aang and suki supremacy#i gave zuko a hearing aid in his scarred ear because he canonically can't hear well out of it#(i'm aware that hearing aid probably can't help with damaged eardrums maybe they can i don't actually know so sorry)#gave sokka glasses cause i'm projecting and i feel like he's strained his eyes so much over the years#freckled aang sokka (on his neck down so you can't really see it) and suki supremacy#gave sokka a bunch of face moles cause i can#gave toph acne cause she's the youngest in my heart (yes i know her and aang are the same age)#i gave the gaang as whole many piercings and i'm not ashamed (aang's the only one without one idk why don't ask)#atla#avatar the last airbender#the gaang#aang#katara#sokka#zuko#toph#suki#also this is how i had to learn that suki is the only one out of the gaang that has like actual lips at all times#(as in her character design)#OH i also gave aang and toph scars (aang = arms toph = face) because it spoke to me and felt right idk#also if you squint you can see blemishes on zuko's neck cause again it just felt right#i'm actually so proud of these AHHHH#team avatar#didn't even mean to make a pattern with the backgrounds just worked out that way heheh#EDIT: remade the boys cause i used the wrong sized clothes and it was bothering me SO MUCH (zuko's hair is longer now let's all cheer)
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I should not be allowed in social situations
#dru speaks#dru vents#putting this under a read more cause i'm not in a bad mood i just got hit with a wave of sad‚ and it'll be temporary#but yeah. thinking back on stuff. reflecting.#like even around my friends. i've started feeling kinda insecure around even my closest friends#and i think i hurt two different friends of mine's feelings last night :(#i just don't know what i'm doing but i'm trying my best but. i feel like i can't ever get it 100% right and i always get so anxious#i feel like i can't interact like a normal person can. all of my reactions are just a little bit off. which is why i suspected i had autism#idk i just want to loosen up. and i don't want to accidentally hurt people#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh agh. okay </3#i'll be fine guys it's just. agh </3#._.
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