#idk they’re both complex fucking characters and they are so close to my heart

[thrill-kill-kult]

Wrote a lot of stuff about the Skwistok relationship dynamic in the universe of my fic, Tell All.

Trigger warnings for general Toki storyline stuff, dysphoria and body image issues, and implied sa. Idk they got shit going on. Also there’s some light nsft talk about their sexual dynamic.

Skwisgaar is really insecure about her body, and Toki doesn’t get it at all. He thinks she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, and it ought to mean something that it comes from someone who could probably have any woman he wanted.

She’s mostly insecure about her more masculine features that she feels like she doesn’t really have control over. She has a lot of bottom dysphoria and plans to get bottom surgery, and like she realistically can whenever she wants to, but surgery scares her and perhaps more than that, the thought that she won’t like the results.

Toki gets it, and he also thinks her bulge is cute and like if it were anyone but him, Skwisgaar probably would be upset to have that part of her body noticed, but Toki’s so genuine about it and also like it feels different because he’s also trans and she knows he doesn’t think her body’s abnormal or weird.

Toki’s honestly just very much the king of body neutrality in some respects. It’s something he has to do consciously for himself, because he can be really self conscious of his scars and of being trans, and knowing that the whole fucking world sees those parts of him. He works really hard tho on finding peace with the fact that like, this is the body he has and there’s no point in being so critical of the very thing that has gotten him through life thus far.

At the end of the day sometimes Skwisgaar just needs him to remind her that like the body she has is the one that she’s lived in her whole life and like while it allows her to do amazing things with the guitar and has basically made her a sex goddess, she’s also allowed to feel shitty about it and just like. There’s nuance to be had about idk the horrific human experience of having a body. And no matter what Toki really truly loves her, not just because of her body but because of who she is and what she means to him.

I’ve always thought their relationship starts sexual and becomes romantic from there, and I also think like Toki has always been in love with her, whereas Skwis had to develop those feelings (really she just has to work past a lot of her own issues). Sex between the two of them is really gender affirming for them both tho esp compared to sex with groupies, and it kind of spoils casual sex for both of them (though far more for Toki).

Toki is very much a service top and more than anything he likes knowing he can make Skwisgaar feel good. Have I mentioned he is head over heels in love. He takes great pride in the fact that he can make her blush. Sex with her isn’t a means to an end, but it’s about intimacy and closeness.

Skwisgaar has a hard time dealing with all her feelings about this bc sex has kind of just become meaningless to her and it can range from like something she does because she likes the power it gives her to like an active form of self harm, and she isn’t prepared for how meaningful sex with Toki is. They have so much common ground because they understand what it’s like to be trans and to constantly be in the public eye and they are closer to each other than probably anyone else, and that also makes things fucking terrifying for Skwis because she’s not used to being cared about.

Part of what makes it so terrifying too is that Toki isn’t just done with her after sex, he wants to cuddle and pillow talk and fall asleep with her. She’s not used to being valued as anything more than a sex object and she instinctively pushes back against this because she‘a afraid Toki could end up having ulterior motives and stop treating her well if she doesn’t ’give him what he wants’. This also means it takes her a long time to really understand that he doesn’t ever expect sex from her, and she is ‘allowed’ to say no when she doesn’t want to have sex.

Their relationship has to get more healthy (at least, to the point that the rest of the band knows and they’re not hiding it) before Toki really lets himself be willingly vulnerable with Skwisgaar in return. It’s like a big deal that he eventually lets her take control and touch him in a sexual context. Some of it is about dysphoria but a lot of it is about control because he’s really afraid to be like sexually submissive to someone else. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, but he has a lot of fear about letting somebody touch his body in a position where he’s vulnerable.

I think he gets better about this prior to doomstar requiem, but afterwards they go like far past back to square 1. For some time after he struggles even with just being touched in nonsexual contexts because he’s so afraid of it ending in pain. He goes between desperately needing to be touched and violently shoving people away, and it strains his and Skwisgaar’s relationship a lot.

When they do start having sex again, Toki disassociates a lot. He goes back to the room with Magnus, and even when his mind comes back, he can’t get rid of the feeling that he’s dirty and Skwis won’t want him if she knows everything Magnus did. Things don’t really get fixed between them until Toki is willing to talk about what happened.

[letstrywritingmaybe]

Hi! I suddenly very invested in the shinsherry ship dynamic, of course I have my own ideas and hc. Do you fancy the dynamic? If it is a yes, do you have some sorts of hc for them?

Pd: I am still working on in this shinsherry fic so I need a bost of energy.

Oh my, idk if I’m the best person to ask tbh since I tend to write shinshi and CoAi exclusively compared to other dynamics. The closest I’ve come is probably Don’t Blame Me. I won’t be much help, but I do agree we need more of it in the fandom! It needs to be explored! I’m hopeful you’ll be able to share your fic with us!

Idk if it’s cause I’m a Gemini, but as much as I believe Sherry to be a part of her. It’s more of a persona to me, so underneath it all she’s still Shiho. Just forced to be this character that she never wanted to be out of survival. So when I do dabble with her being more of a bad girl, that’s the approach I go for.

Sherry is all snark, sass, confident, and cutthroat who takes no shit. She’s not allowed to be weak, she fights back and isn’t above playing dirty. At least on the outside this is how she appears to be, but at the end of the day she’s soft and does actually own a heart. Shinichi I think sees this side of her despite her best efforts to pretend she’s pure evil. Though at first he’s definitely tricked into thinking she’s just bad news, but him with his savior complex wants to rescue her. Thus begins their interesting relationship

The more he tries to get close to her, the harder she pushes him away. But in the grand scheme of things they’re both after the same goal, so she helps him bring the org down. She’s a traitor anyway, may as well play the part to the fullest. She expects to be locked away to atone for her sins, but Shinichi has other ideas.

I’m basically retelling my own fic, but I think the most important thing to me is that Sherry is in charge and she gets to decide how close he gets to her. She’s the one with the experience and she knows what she wants and what she’s willing to give him and what she wants to take from him. As time goes on he gains more control and tries to defy her, but she’s one step ahead every time. My queen stays winning!

The second but equally as important thing to me is the devotion on his part. She has a bad reputation and yet he’s still willing to throw everything away for her. It’s like everyone on the outside is telling him she’s bad news but he’s still getting burned just for a chance to love her. Basically he’s down bad for her as he should be.

My girl is a bluffer and mostly all talk, but fuck around and find out. She’s ruthless in her own ways and won���t hesitate to play into her role, self destructive and insane but she’s just passionate okay.

This dynamic is honestly very intriguing, it’s all a game and not meant to be real. So very flirty and fun with very serious consequences but they’re not going to worry about that. It’s almost a break/relief when they’re together which doesn’t make sense cause everything they do is very high stakes and people’s lives are in danger but I think the risk is part of what gets them. It’s very push and pull, will they or won’t they? The almost, and pure frustration but also satisfying at the same time? They shouldn’t make sense, but they do. They made opposites attract, the tension is very real.

She’s cool, calm, and collected while he’s the exact opposite until they settle into their routine and he has no choice but to be just as cool about how casual their relationship is. Not that it’s much of a relationship, cause no labels. She teaches him patience cause he’s way too damn impulsive, and the consequences of his actions. He takes her teachings to heart.

He’s left in the dark a lot and he hates it but again he doesn’t have much of a choice cause she won’t give him the answers. There’s a lot of trust on his part, she doesn’t tell him anything, she has to trust him too but she definitely holds back just in case since she’s paranoid and she is still trying to protect him.

I’ve rambled too much and I don’t think I even made sense. But I think it depends on the setting too. Cause I have other ideas if she is for real riding for the org. There’s a lot to their dynamic but the tldr version is: Sherry is more dominant and Shinichi is hopelessly intrigued. Best of luck to you, Love! Happy writing! <3

[greensaplinggrace]

do you have any darklina fic recs?

I certainly have a few! But first I want to clarify that I don’t really read fic when I’m writing it, and since I have so many fics in the works right now, I haven’t really been reading a lot of fanfiction. So this list probably won’t be as extensive as it could be.

Here are some other great fic recommendation posts, however:

DARKLINA FIC RECS by @vicioux

DARKLINA FIC RECS // part ii by @vicioux

Darklina Ruling the World Together Fic Recs by @clubofthestarlesssaint

Tumblr Ficlets

Aleksander’s First Memory by @kestrafagnor

Fivan Talk About Darklina by @jomiddlemarch

a little light in the great, big dark by @valkyrhys

Alina tells Mal she’s with Aleksander by @lorsanbitch

Darklina week day 5: intimacy & touch by @starlesscne

AO3 Fanfiction

if it ain’t me by larry_hystereks (Incomplete - 10/13 Chapters)

alina’s in her second year at Yale when she meets aleksander at one of his frat parties.

a hookup with the potential for more, only if alina wasn’t still struggling to piece herself together from last year’s breakup.

or: alina, zoya, their trust issues, and the men that fall for them

---

I’m only at about chapter 6 of this fic currently, but so far it’s one of my all time favorite Modern AUs. The characterization for Alina and Aleksander is incredibly well done, and the entire fic itself is so feminist and queer in such a refreshing way. Aleksander and Alina are bisexual as fuck, both with their own separate complex lives, and much of Alina’s own traumas and relationships are explored outside of Aleksander.

There’s some Zoyalina, with Nikolina friendship and endgame Zoyalai. There’s some mystery and some tension, but nothing too extreme, and a lot of the fic is merely an exploration in growth and overcoming one’s history and learning how to move on in healthy ways. I love it.

She Wears a Collar (With My Name) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

She is immortal, and whatever lingering hints of humanity she may have once had have long been bleached from her heart.

I will grant you one wish, boy, if it is in my power to do so. What does a Shadow Smith most want?

"You," he answers.

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 2: Role Reversal

---

This piece is just exquisite. This author’s writing style is one that I particularly enjoy. Their stuff is always so uniquely composed and crafted, and this one especially is a work of art. The way Darklina as a relationship is portrayed in particular is fascinating to me because it’s a role reversal but it’s still so complex. Aleksander’s character is nailed.

the bright sun was extinguish’d by athousandwinds (Complete)

Somewhere, deep in the dark forests of Ravka, a boy grows up on stories of Sankta Alina of the Wastes, the Sun-Scorched Saint.

---

This fic is just straight up magnificent. It’s so engaging and I love love love the way a role reversed Aleksander who joins the army is portrayed. He reminds me so much of Demon in the Woods Aleksander, as if he’s exactly what a grown version of that young boy would be. When I say I adore his characterization in this I’m not lying.

If I wanted any completed fic I’ve read to have a second chapter, it would be this one.

Winter in the Little Palace by redisxwing (Complete)

Written for Yuletide 2020.

Baghra and Alina's wildly different perspectives on the Darkling, and how things could have gone if nobody listened to Baghra.

Warning: Baghra is written as a harsh and arguably abusive parent, and this is darkfic about that relationship, with a side of shipping. Everything is terrible (except the parts that are pretty much okay).

Canon divergence pretty much as soon as Alina gets lessons in summoning.

This fic is likely not compatible with King of Scars (or any subsequent work).

---

As is said in the summary, this one makes Baghra a bit more extreme. If you’re a fan of Baghra, this fic probably isn’t for you. But since I’m not a fan of Baghra, I had no problems with it.

My biggest praise for this fic is in regards to the character interactions and the POVs. There’s a brilliant grasp of unique perspective and how to convey it, and that talent is carried over into the way character interactions are brought to life in the text. Also, there’s a scene where Alina gets kind of protective of the Darkling, which is one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to Darklina.

Good Ideas by FelixRivers (Complete)

Alina Starkov had a very good idea. Aleksander Morozova would definitely agree. (or: Alina wants to go camping and Aleksander won't complain)

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This fic is just straight up adorable and hilarious. They’re such a cute couple and Alina’s POV is great. It’s just pure fluff and humor 💕

I’m not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you by SanktaJenya - @sankta-arya (Complete)

Winter had been hard on Old Baghra and Ana Kuya was worried about her, so she decided that Alina should make the trip to her cottage on the other side of the woods to bring her some food and kvas. On her way there, Alina meets a stranger...

Darklina Red Riding Hood/Company of Wolves AU

Darklina Week, Day 4, Fairytales

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This fic has a splendid grasp of tension and atmosphere. It’s very enchanting and dark and intriguing, and it nails those aspects with absolute precision. I love the style and the way the fairytale is incorporated into the narrative. It’s truly a masterpiece.

The Wretched by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“We are strangers, but I want to help.” He growls at her, mocking and mistrustful. “I understand,” she said. “You think I am one of them. I certainly look like one of them. But I want to help you. Will you let me?” Prompt: fairytale. Alina saves a dragon.

---

Okay so I’ve mentioned this one before as one of my Top 5 fics of all time and I still stand by that. I can’t even describe why I love this fic so much except that the pacing is amazing and the prose is stunning and the story is beautiful. Aleksander is a dragon and Alina is a witch, and their relationship is just so...interesting and fascinating and lovely. I would literally kill for this fic. There’s such a softness to it as well. Such a tenderness. Idk, I just really love it.

Show Me Who You Are (I Want To Know) by Ceris_Malfoy (Incomplete - 12/?)

Alina takes her future in her own hands and makes her own decisions.

---

This is a great “what if Alina had stuck around after the reveal” rewrite. It doesn’t have Mal bashing and in fact still writes them as close friends, which is something I’m fond of in Darklina fics. Aleksander is allowed to be soft and Alina is allowed to be powerful, and I really enjoyed the take on their dynamics as a power couple wherein Alina is given a lot of control.

There’s something to be said for the way Aleksander is written in the scenes where he must be honest and earnest with Alina. I really enjoy the way they both come to equal ground, and I’m even more fond of the way Alina is allowed to grow darker without losing her light. She also engages a lot with quite a few other characters, developing tons of friendships and alliances on her own that help strengthen her as an individual character.

on this bridge between starshine and clay by @rhea-imagined (Complete)

"His breath narrows for a moment, his fist clenched tight before he forces himself to loosen it. She is his only opportunity for salvation, but vulnerability is not a cape he wears easily. “In those days, there was less prejudice against Shadow Summoners. But everyone fears the dark, in one way or another.” He does not look at her as he waits for the penny to drop, half-hoping it stays suspended in the air."

In which Alexander comes clean to Alina and tells her about his true identity in hopes that this will help convince her to take down the Fold.

A rewrite of the fountain scene in episode four, with a good!Darkling that is trying to make amends.

---

This is my all-time favorite good!Aleksander AU. He’s kept in character despite the major changes made to his motivations, and Alina is given a lot more agency in her own story. It’s the first fic in what might become a series, but it can stand alone beautifully.

I love how Aleksander and Alina’s relationship is allowed to grow tense without breaking, and how it’s a clear sign of change but not abandonment. I love how both characters are able to think for themselves and become self-aware and are given the chance to think critically. I love the character interaction so much because it’s honest and fresh and engaging. Everything from the smallest action to the most off-hand thought is in character and meaningful and incorporated with an amazing style of writing. It’s a very refreshing piece, and the writing only makes it that much better.

Bunnies of a Feather Stitch Together by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Just as Alina called to the light, gathering and twisting it into a ball in her hands, the door swung open.

Kirigan blacked out the door frame. His appearance enough would have surprised Alina, but there was something clutched in his arm, something dark and floppy. It almost looked like the stuffed toys that had been passed around to the younger Orphans." - Alina and The Darkling bond over a love of soft things

---

Soft stuffed animal shenanigans. Bits of trans!Aleksander, which I’m very fond of, as well as just a lot of fluff with a bit of something bittersweet and sad in a good way.

Half Lie by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Baghra always talked of the demon that had stolen her daughter." Or, Alina learns the hard way that the Darkling isn't the only one who deals in half-truths

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This one is trans!Aleksander, and it handles it in a very interesting way. It’s quite sad, and deals a lot with Baghra & Aleksander’s relationship through Alina’s POV. I want to give a warning for transphobia, because it does center around that a lot as the premise, but it really is worth the read if that isn’t a trigger for you. This is one of my favorite trans!Aleksander fics, and the way it handles emotion and grief and pain is quite extraordinary.

The CEO and Helioseismologist by mrthology (Complete)

Aleksander Morozova doesn't get sick. He's the CEO of one of the most successful companies in the world, one that he had built from the ground up with blood, sweat, and tears. He exercised daily (usually), maintained a healthy diet, and kept himself fit.

He wasn’t sick.

Too bad no one believed him. And too bad Genya decided to call Ivan to take him home before also calling Alina to take care of him.

Maybe, just maybe, being sick wasn't so bad. Especially not when he has such a wonderful girlfriend.

---

Both of the fics in this series are great, but I love this one in particular because I’m an absolute sucker for hurt/comfort. Anyone who’s been on my blog for a while knows that it’s my all time favorite trope to read, and this fic fits the hurt/comfort trope to a T in the best of ways. It’s very tender and in character, and Aleksander and Alina are so soft with each other. It’s adorable and really makes you feel for Aleksander, and the caretaking is done perfectly.

All the different layers of dark (thousand little suns) by Anuna (Complete)

One month after the Winter Fete, Aleksander returns to the Little Palace, and Alina has been missing him.

Or

Episode five canon divergence in which Alina had never left Os Alta.

---

This one is soft emotional hurt/comfort smut. They’re both so open and vulnerable with each other, and it’s so beautiful to read. I love the writing style and the emotion in this one. It makes my heart ache in the best way.

An Honourable Man by liviy695 (Complete)

A reimagining of the scene after the winter fete. Alina catches a glimpse of a caring Darkling after he returns from integrating the Conductor. Plus, no Baghra interference.

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This one is what it says on the tin, in that Baghra doesn’t interfere and they’re allowed to talk after the Darkling interrogates the Conductor. But more than that, it’s a great imagining of how a scene where Aleksander reveals Marie’s death would have gone. There’s a sort of quiet to it that I appreciate, with grief and solemnity weighed against care and vulnerability.

I see the real you (even if you don’t, I do) by Anonymous (Incomplete - 8/?)

A series of questionable decisions lead Alina to meet the Black General a bit earlier. Butterfly effect ensues.

---

I’ve only read half so far (I hadn’t realized it had updated!! 👀👀) but I’m already in love with this fic. Alina’s dialogue and perspective is perfect, her relationship with Mal and the other cartographers is great, and I really enjoy how much personality she has. Aleksander is so smitten, but more than that, his characterization is soft but not weak. It feels almost as if he’s swept up by Alina, instead of the other way around, and I quite like that.

Of parenting by Anuna (Complete)

Alina finds out how her husband handled yet another parenting situation.

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This is pure adorable Darklina parenting fluff and I live for it. Yet it doesn’t lack depth and in fact explored Alina and Aleksander’s relationship with parenting quite well.

i have a longing by LRCee - @ladylyannastark (Complete)

“So, Alina Starkov, risk-taker, how did you end up being editing’s newest wunderkind?”

Alina Starkov is rising in the publishing world. Singlehandedly responsible for editing (see: rewriting) the hottest book of the year, she lands a coveted spot at Morovoz Publishers. It's the position she's always wanted, at the biggest publishing house in the country. Life is perfect. That crush on her boss though, that's gotta go.

---

OKAY! I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH!! Let me tell you, as someone who is not too fond of Boss/Employee dynamics, I was very wary going into this fic. But boy did it deliver in a way that was perfect for me.

The relationship that develops between Aleksander and Alina is complex but healthy, and it never feels as if there’s too much of a power imbalance or anything that would make Alina feel forced or unhappy. The tension lies purely in how she fears others will perceive her, and not in how unhealthy her relationship with Aleksander is. For somebody who’s often attracted to unhealthy ships, I have to say that my favorite fics are usually ones that don’t have that type of dynamic between the characters. This fic delivers on that.

Also, Aleksander’s POV surrounding his struggle with his Russian heritage and his feelings for Alina is amazing, and has some of the best writing and characterization I’ve seen.

You receive: an evil demon; I receive: human souls by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

The next morning while she tried to tell herself it was a dream, that of course there wasn’t a fucking demon in her house, she found a note taped to her fridge.

“You might eat this shit,” it had written, “but I would like some fucking souls please.”

Darkling Week Prompt 7: free choice. Alina has a demon in her house.

This is absolute crack, and I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me.

---

May I just say that this is the most fun I’ve ever had when reading a fic. It’s interesting with a bit of mystery, and Aleksander as a little shit of a demon is hilarious. Alina in this fic is great too. It’s such a unique take on her POV, especially when you reread it after knowing the ending. 10000/10, this fic is brilliant in every way and I love it.

I had been lost to you, Sunlight by BrytteMystere (Complete)

A Girl became a Woman, became a Sankta, became a Goddess.

Or: An Immortal Alina calls upon merzost to reunite with the Prince of Shadows she lost long ago. She may have lost herself in the process.

But then again, maybe time and endless wars did that instead.

---

You really just have to read this one to get it. It is utterly haunting and fascinating in the best of ways. The writing style is strange and novel and fits so well with the story being told. The composition of the fic as a whole is genius.

I Look Inside Myself (And See My Heart Is Black) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"When is a monster not a monster? Why, when you love it, of course."

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 6: Favorite Quote • King & Queen • Monster

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Once more, this author comes through with an absolutely breathtaking writing style and story. The imagery is elegant yet brutal, simultaneously horrifying and glorious. There’s a certain way these stories are written, like fairytales, where the beautiful becomes the macabre and becomes ever more stunning because of it. It’s very dark but in a good way - an almost bewitching way.

Afterlife by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“You are asking me to leave?”

“Not asking, shadow,” she said. “Telling. Time to get unlost, loser.”

Day 3 Darklina Week prompt: Modern AU (I mean, barely)

Alina expels ghosts from purgatory.

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@aceofnowhere once again bringing the best of the paranormal to the Grishaverse. Literally everything you write is amazing idk why I’m even pointing out individual fics when I could just rec your whole page. But anyways!! This is fun and interesting and Alina is a badass. Aleksander is, of course, compelling and dark and kind of a little shit, and it’s all incorporated seamlessly into an existential paranormal narrative.

Once Upon a Shooting Star by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"But most of all, she was drawn to a vast darkness that reached out above all of them, a void so hungry for companionship that she knew she could fulfill."

---

Let. Alina. Be. Feral!! Anyways, I clearly have a type when it comes to storytelling, and it’s whatever the fuck this person has got going on. Feral!Star!Alina is literally the light of my life. Her interactions with not only other people but the world in general are so well done, but my favorite parts about this fic are the numerous ways her relationship with Aleksander is described and depicted.

I love the dark and light imagery, especially with how it’s portrayed as them filling in the gaps of each other’s lives and supporting each other instead of trying to block each other out. There’s such clear passion and joy and love and devotion between them. The central focus of this fic is on her and Aleksander’s relationship, the interplay between them and their powers and the way her light fills his loneliness, the passing of adoration and trust and reliance between them. It’s very beautiful and I love it.

A Blaze of Light by Keira_63 (Complete)

They discover the Sun Summoner in the burnt-out remains of the Shu laboratory in which she has spent the last seven years of her life.

Or, the Darkling finds himself with a Sun Summoner whose greatest wish is to burn Shu Han to the ground. He is happy to oblige her.

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👀👀 Badass Alina and Badass Aleksander. The ultimate power couple, and Alina burning a path through Shu Han before they both burn a path through the world together. The darkness and rage in this one are handled very well, and the way that rage turns to coldness and then resolve is done so well. This fic is very cathartic and also very furious, and reading it is certainly a trip down emotion lane.

One more for the Road by Rist (Complete)

He returns to the war room shaken, and finds an Alina that cannot leave without at least having tried.

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This one hurts so much but its soooo gooood!!! Very smutty but also very tender and very bittersweet. Sad and soft all at once. I just... love the way Alina and Aleksander are written so much, and Alina’s complicated feelings for him are explored in such detail and depth. This one is truly worth the read.

[favberrys]

I'm bored and in a kkg brainrot mood, so i'm just gonna rant about my opinions of kakegurui ships and i will make some headcanons:

Kirasaya

Ok i had to start with them bc they're just too iconic, i think they have one of the most interesting and complex dynamics in kkg, they really got me obsessed with them, it's probably my number one kakegurui ship and the reason i started watching the show and reading the manga. Honestly yeah their relationship has some power imbalance, since sayaka is kirari's secretary, and is probably disfunctional, but contrary to what some ppl say kirasaya is not abusive, kirari never physically or emotionally abuses sayaka throughout the story. Anyway they're a 10/10, peak lesbian yearning, if they don't kiss at least one i will jump the author. Probably one of my fav ships ever, i think they're made for each other and i can't see kirasaya with anyone else, they're just so good together and their chemistry is >>>>>>

Yumary

Ok this one is kinda an unpopular opinion bc most people like yumary, but honestly i can't get invested into it, there's something in this ship that doesn't make my heart go "fuck yeah they should be gfs". Personally i don't ship yumeko with anyone bc i can't imagine her in a relationship since her main thing is being a compulsive gambler, her existence revolves around it and she forms relationships when they're useful for her gambling games. I think yumary could be friends with benefits for some time, but after a while mary would probably break it off because i don't think she can handle a sexual/romantic relationship with yumeko and after a while it would make her go nuts. A friendship between them is already messy and complicated and honestly i don't think they are compatible that way. Yes they have chemistry and there's probably some mutual attraction but to me it's a no. Also can cishet dudes stop fetishizing this ship ? My vote is 6/10, mostly bc mary doesn't seem much physically comfortable with yumeko, idk mary just seems off with her in that sense and i prefer them as gambling partners or friends.

Meariri

I honestly love this ship, especially after reading the manga, they have such an great dynamic, i think they both care about each other, they have chemistry and i think they're compatible and that their personalities compliment each other, mary is often loud and aggressive and passionate while ririka is more closed off and quiet, they're like fire and ice and this case i think the saying "opposite attract" works with them. Mary counts on ririka and i love the fact that she is so comfortable with her physically (mary is almost always the one to initiate the contact, holding her hand, touching her head, etc) and ririka gets inspired by mary to be her own person and chase her goals. Plus they're really cute together, aesthetically i find them the most attractive couple, i'll give them a solid 9/10

Itsukaede

Lmao i don't even know if this is the correct ship name for itsuki x kaede, ok i don't hate it and i think they could work as a couple, it's not my cup of tea bc m/f ships bore me, but i like their relationship, they have the kind of old married couple dynamic that always works. 6/10.

Ryomeko

I can see it happening, i don't ship it, but i don't mind it either, i'm kinda neutral about ryota x yumeko, but i think he's one of the ppl who care about yumeko the most in that academy (with also mary ofc), the ship is boring bc ryota is bland (he's a good guy don't get me wrong and he defo doesn't deserve the hate he gets) and as i said previously i don't ship yumeko with anyone. Sorry i gotta give it 5/6 out of 10

Yumedari

Ok i love midari but just like yumeko, i don't ship her with anyone bc i see her as someone who's too much unstable for relationships, but i know that canonically she loves/likes/is attracted to yumeko so i don't hate this ship, i think it's decent, the only problem is that yumeko hates midari. Still i think that since they're the most insane mfs in that school somehow this ship could work. 6/10

Yuridari

Again midari in my eyes is kinda unshippable, but this ship is not bad at all, they would have that kind of bickering married couple dynamic like itsuki and kaede, i like it but it doesn't do much for me. 7/10

Ryomary

Jsjssjsksk i looked the name of mary x ryota's ship on wiki so if it sounds weird it's bc i don't know their ship name and i have looked at the first site google gave me. This ship is hard no, mainly bc ryota is very bland and i consider mary a lesbian (i read that she is a canon lesbian but idk if it's confirmed by the author, let's say lesbian mary is just my hc) so shipping her with men feels like a hate crime to me, mary is for the girls only, 4/10.

Tsumary

They are kind of cute together right ? I think they're adorable, tsuzura is mary's first love and i think that someone like her would make mary very happy. I still haven't finished kkg twin, so my opinion on tsuzura is incompleted and it might change, i don't hate her but i find her character a little basic/boring so even though this ship is cute it doesn't make me fall in love with them. 7/10 bc probably also tsuzura had feelings for mary and they have a healthy dynamic, you can see they love each other.

Midasaya

I enjoy this crackship, i know that they both like different people but i headcanon that they were together during middle school or that midari had at least a small crush on sayaka during that time, before kirari came to hyakkaou i like to think that they explored their sexuality together so midari was probably sayaka's first kiss, her first date, etc, so they would have history together and we also see that midari knows sayaka bc her character is described through her pov during tower of doors. I find this ship pretty funny bc sayaka is always so serious and composed and midari is a ball of chaos. 7/10

Yumesaya

This is another crackship i don't mind and find hilarious, yeah i'm a huge kirasaya stan but i'm also a multishipper and sayaka deserves all the girls in the world, so the more the merrier. I like to think this ship as one sided love in which yumeko sort of pines after sayaka and i think it would be very interesting to see kirari being jeaulous that sayaka is getting yumeko's attention. We saw jeaulous/protective sayaka in kakegurui, but i would also like to see how kirari reacts when someone tries to take sayaka away from her, it would be really interesting. Obv this would create some tension between kirasaya and also between kirari and yumeko, almost a sort of love triangle dynamic. My opinion is that yumeko is just too unstable to settle down, also they both probably would get bored/lose interest in each other after the heat of the moment. 6/10

Ririsaya

Sorry but i really can't see it happening not even if i squint, but i really enjoy the ririsaya fanfictions and i think those works are pretty great even though i don't ship them very much. It would be interesting if both twins were in love with sayaka and there was some tension/coldness between them for a while bc they liked the same girl (maybe i read too many fanfictions). My headcanon is that both sayaka and ririka had a crush on each other when they first knew each other and for sayaka it was probably pretty confusing bc she already had feelings for kirari. I see them as friends, 7/10

Yumemisaori

Again idk if this is the correct name of the ship, many said that yumemi and saori are a healthier/mentally stable version of kirasaya and i agree. the dynamics are similar bc we have the secratary that is willing to do everything for her boss and the relationship is a little more balanced, i think they would be very cute together, but sadly they had very little interactions and if i could see more of them i would probably ship them even more. I like them 7/10.

Sachiko x Mary

I didn't even find a ship name for this couple, so they must be pretty unpopular, i like both characters and their antagonistic dyanamic is very interesting, but i don't ship them much bc i think mary needs/wants someone who is completely different from sachiko, who wants to make mary her pet and mary is someone who cares very much about her freedom, her indipendence and wants to make her own choices and this completely clashes with sachiko's extremely sadistic and domineering nature. I prefer them as enemies who have some sexual tension or enemies with benefits or one night stand adventure, but nothing more. 5/6 out of 10 bc the only mary ship i really love is meariri and i also like tsuzumary a bit.

Sachiko x Mikura

This is probably one of the most unhealthy relationships in kakegurui, but i kinda like it. Their dyanmic is pretty much vertical with sachiko who has all the power and makes mikuro do everything she wants and mikura who is completely obsessed and devoted to sachiko (my opinion is that she developed a sort of stockholm syndrome towards sachiko). I think that someone like sachiko could never have genuine romantic relationships bc of her extremely sadistic nature, she sees ppl like toys to break and what she enjoys the most is seeing ppl suffer, so the only compatible person with sachiko is someone extremely masochistic like mikura. Giving them a 6/7 out of 10 bc their interactions are fun/interesting and spice things up.

Rin x Ibara and Yumeko x Kirari

Hard no to both of them, i don't ship incest, yall can do what you want but personally it's a huge no for me. When i first started watching the anime at the beginning i thought yumeko and kirari had some sort of tension and could have been enemies to lovers (lmaoo i was so naive), but then i discovered they were cousins and i saw more kirasaya interactions so i got completely turned off by this ship. 3/10 to both of these ships.

Sachiko x Sakura

Now this ship is very sexy, idk why i like it but i do, yes i don't see sachiko with anyone besides mikura, but this pairing is not bad at all, even though it's a crackship. I think they would be rivals with benefits and would argue a lot and then make out/have hot sex. 7/10 (maybe it's too high but since these are just my opinions i won't be objective)

Mary x kirari

Uhm is there really someone out there who ships them ? Yeah i thought they had some sexual tension in s1 with that tea scene, but it's a no from me, i don't like it and i don't think they're compatible in any way, i can't see kirari with anyone who isn't sayaka. 4/10

[lord-explosion-baku]

Sister Complex

Bakugou x Step Sister!Reader

Warnings: s m u t, dubcon, pseudo-incest(they’re not biologically related because I’m a coward), uhhh tickling?

A/N: It’s been a minute since I’ve written something spicy for Baku-bb. Idk why it’s a hard for me to do this for one of my favorite characters lolol. I had to make things a little fucky because I’m me, but I have no shame. At least it’s not another yandere piece?? Here’s some nasty trash. the spicy bits are short, but they’re there, and uhhh everyone is 18+, obviously.

Bakugou would have had an easy morning—He’d woken up early and had been able to rest his eyes and daydream for a bit—stretch out, relax, take it easy. He could’ve fallen back asleep and dreamt for maybe forty minutes more, too. It would’ve been nice, if it hadn’t been for those damn kneecaps digging into his hips. 

“Katsukiii!” You crooned, poking at his sides through his bed’s comforters. Bakugou felt you ease your weight farther up his abdomen. At most, it was bothersome, but nothing compared the heat burning off of his cheeks that was trapped in with him under the covers. He was suffocating, not only from needing to gulp some of the cool, morning air, but your breasts that were undeniably pressed up against his chest were far too much for him to handle. Soft and squishy. He had half a mind to grab a hold of them, to teach you a lesson about respecting the let your big brother sleep in rule, just to see you make the fucking adorable embarrassed face you made whenever he teased you. He could have. It wasn’t like you were strong enough to fight him off of you. However, when you started sharing the bed, unaware of how your pelvis was grinding against his pulsing morning-wood, he decided to let you go at it for as long as he could take it. 

“Katsuki, please wake up,” you whined again, pulling against the sheets Bakugou had a vice grip on. “I’m booored.” 

You gave him a little jump and Bakugou couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to slip inside of you. It wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t the one prancing around the house in those tight shorts that hugged that pert little ass for yours so perfectly. Hell, you were probably wearing them right now and all he’d have to do is slip them to the side…

Bakugou groaned at the thought, blowing his sleeping facade. “Why don’t you go on a jog? You’re heavy.” 

You let out an incredulous gasp, stealing the pillow out from under Bakugou’s head. “That’s so rude!!” You slammed your weapon down, once against his chest, and again onto his head. “You’re such an asshole!” 

Bakugou grabbed your wrist. 

“My darling little sister,” he growled out sarcastically, tightening his hold when he saw your eyes narrow. You hated being called little sister on the account that you were only a tiny bit younger and not biologically related to him. That hardly mattered; he’d call you just about anything to be able to see you blush like that. “Get the hell out of my room or you’re gonna regret this.” 

“Let go!” You tried yanking weakly out of Bakugou’s hold, but his grip was too sturdy, and it only led to him pulling you closer to him so your head was leveled with his. “Stop.” 

“You gonna beat it or what?” 

You huffed, the sweet scent of your freshly brushed teeth filling Bakugou’s head. He wanted to taste you.

“No,” you said, pouting. “You’re going to sleep the whole day away. Mom and dad are gone and I was gonna make breakfast for you and me.” 

“I can eat when I’m ready.” 

“Aw, come onnn. Don’t be like that!” Still locked in his hold, you pushed your breasts against him. With that low-cut shirt you were wearing, Bakugou saw your perfect tits push up against his chest, plush and round, beautifully formed, and practically begging to be groped. He hoped you didn’t do that to any other man; nobody would have the same restraint he’d managed to retain. 

Or so he thought. But then you had to make a face. You had to make that adorable fucking face and then you had to whisper so sickenly sweet, albeit teasingly, “oniii-san,” on top of that. 

Bakugou sneered. This was the last straw. 

In one swift movement, Bakugou had you flipped over and pinned against the bed. He took you in—your curvy body flushed and helpless underneath him and on his bed drove him mad. Your shirt was hiked up just enough from his to see your belly button, your bare thighs on either side of his knees. You weren’t wearing a bra, so Bakugou could see your hard nipples poking through the thin material of your tee. You might’ve been a brat, but you were the cutest fucking brat he’d ever seen. 

“I warned you to leave, but you didn’t listen,” Bakugou’s husky morning voice brought goosebumps to your arms. Good. “So now you’re gonna have to suffer the consequences.” 

Before you could object, Bakugou’s hands flew to your ribcage and he began tickling you. You screamed and squirmed and tried to kick your legs out, but Bakugou kept you at bay by sitting back on your legs. Soon your squeals became wails… or maybe—maybe moans… and Bakugou ached for you. 

“Okay!!!” You cried, your chest jetting in and out rapidly. “Stop! Please, please, ahhhhah, I can’t take it anymore!!!!” 

Bakugou grabbed both of your wrists and pinned them to the bed above your head. You panted underneath him, your hair a mess. You had to know how you appeared to him with your eyes lidded like they were, your lips parted so subtly, so invitingly, all just for him. 

“Had enough?” Bakugou croaked, his restraint crumbling. You pouted your beautiful lips and nodded once. He scoffed. He wasn’t done. “I don’t think you have…” 

Bakugou leaned down so his lips were a hair away from your ear. He could smell your hair; the aromatic, buttery fragrant seemed to make you even more of the treat he longed to taste. He whispered, gruffly, “call me oni-san again.” 

“Um, Katsuki-“ you started and stopped, your breath wavering. Your voice made him pulsate against your thigh. After a moment, he realized you were craning your neck, trying to look down. Bakugou’s words caught in his throat. 

You laughed. “Wow, oni-san, I didn’t realize how much of a pervert you were!” 

“Shut up,” he hissed, not daring to move away—not when he was so close to you.

“My mom’s gonna love this. She might even leave your dad after I tell her that you have some sort of sick sister complex.” 

“You were the one moaning,” Bakugou rasped. “‘m sure she’ll love hearing how much her perfect princess loves having her big brother’s hands all over her.”

“I was not-!”

“No?” Bakugou prompted with a smirk against your neck. Then he took the initiative. He dragged his tongue across your soft, shuddering flesh, trailing a line up to your ear. 

“H-hey,” you whimpered, bringing your hands to his arms right below his shoulders. You pushed, but not enough to tell Bakugou that you really wanted him to let off. At this, he decided to bring his hand to your soft tummy and push it up and under your shirt so he could palm your breast, twisting your nipples harshly between his fingers. They were incredible—you felt incredible, and Bakugou hungered for more. 

“Kat-“ you breathed, your hips bucking up and against him. Bakugou grinded against you, the friction between his light pajama pants and your center setting his nerve endings aflame. “Ahhh, Katsuki…”

Bakugou’s body went hot at hearing his name fall from your lips in such a sensuous way. He snickered and growled, “now, who’s the pervert?” before biting down on the softest part of your neck. 

“O-oh, fuck,” you moaned, your voice cracking. You sunk your fingers into the back of Bakugou’s head and, for a moment, he thought you were going to try to pull him away from you. Instead, your nails tightened and untightened, giving him a nice little head massage. If anything you were pulling him further into you. You were enjoying this. 

A groan from Bakugou while he sucked harshly at your neck had your body shaking for him. You mewled while Bakugou’s hand traveled from your tummy down to your panties. The pads of his fingers rubbed around the damp mess at your core. You were already so wet for him. He could laugh. You weren’t the perfect little princess you pretended to be. 

Bakugou pulled away to admire the dark galaxy spot at the side of your neck he’d left. He wiped at his wet mouth and watched your brows knit together lightly, your cheeks dark with bewilderment. Seeing you torn apart like this was pure gold, which made him want to see just how far he could take this. 

“What a foul mouth you’ve got there, little sister.” Bakugou’s arm snaked around your waist, the fingers in your panties still toying with your pussy. “It’s only a good big brother’s job to clean it out for ya.” 

Forceful lips crushed against yours. You only resisted a little before Bakugou had your mouth parting for him. His tongue melted into yours and goddamn were you so sweet… hot... good—perfectly made for him to taste… to take. 

Bakugou kissed you. He touched you. He felt your heart pound against his chest while the two of you clambered to see who could kiss the other harder, and for a moment, he let himself forget that this was wrong—that this could get the both of you in deep trouble. And when he realized that, he didn’t give a shit. 

When Bakugou pulled away and both of his hands went to the waistband of your briefs, he looked you in the eyes and said, “you’re not gonna say a word.”

“Ngh-“

“-Cuz if you do, then everyone’s gonna know that you like to come into my room with nothin’ but a shirt and your panties. I’ll tell everyone that you like to moan when your oni-san marks your pretty little neck.” 

“You’re not serious!” You barked. Still you weren’t making any move to swat Bakugou’s hands away. 

“No?” Bakugou peeled your panties away. Your cunt blushed under his fierce, hungry gaze—he would’ve teased you for it, but at the moment, he couldn’t think about anything but fucking you.

Bakugou pulled his greedy cock out and gave you a fiery grin. Were you really not gonna stop him? You weren’t gonna offer him a peep of protest? He lined himself up with you, the reddened tip of his cock leaking pre-cum against your slicked up slit. 

“Katsuki, wait-!” 

Bakugou glared, daring you to say another word. He could already feel you palpitating against him. You wanted this, and he could tell; you just didn’t know how to say it. 

“Don’t act like you don’t wanna,” he said, “you’re sopping wet. It’d be a fucking crime not to take care of you myself. You’d be beggin’ to have me if the circumstances were any different anyways.”

“You’re such an arrogant little-!” 

Bakugou sunk into you before you could finish that sentence. Instead, your words were lost to a long, drawn-out moan; one that you probably tried to keep to yourself since he started touching you. 

He eased in and out of you, slowly memorizing all the soft ridges of your creamy pussy. Bakugou didn’t know when the next time he’d be able to claim such an excellent opportunity, so he had to savor you. You sighed for him and he wished that he had some sort of recorder so he could memorize those, too. He’d originally thought that your angelic facade was annoying, but with the way you looked right now—the way you sounded even, he couldn’t help but think about how perfect his little sister was. It pissed him off. 

“Do you know how nasty you are for letting me do this?” Bakugou huffed, his fingers digging into either side of your waist. “Not only are you a pervert, but you’re a fucking slut, too. Is that right?” 

You swallowed a moan and wrapped your arms around Bakugou’s neck as he dipped himself deeper into you, hitting your sweet spot. “Tssss-” you tried sounding passive, but even your scoff was uneasy. Hot. “No…”

“Huh?” Bakugou cracked a grin. “So you’re saying you’re only like this with me then. That’s good at least.” 

Bakugou kissed you, tasting your unspoken desire. He rolled his tongue around yours and you mewled into his mouth, humming as Bakugou brushed his long fingers through your hair. You gasped when he made a fist; the sudden noise made him snap his hips against you. He watched your face contort into the cutest, lustful expression, and Bakugou completely lost it.

Each thrust was assertive—an undeniable display of his dominance. Bakugou’s throbbing cock grooving against your plushy walls was more or less his way of following through with his promise that you were going to pay for bothering him this morning. By the look of your face falling apart before his eyes, that glistening sparkle of a renegade tear on your cheek, the beautiful wobble of your lips, you were sure to know not to test him again unless you wanted to suffer these same consequences. 

“Hah~ god…” You clenched around him after a particularly rough thrust, your face pulling into a cute scowl. 

“Whatsamatter, princess?” Bakugou’s index finger ran down your cheek to your chin. He centered your gaze directly on him. “Your big brother too much for you to handle?” 

“I just think it’s funny— ahhh~!” You bristled when Bakugou began dropping his hips to put a better hit on you. You grasped at the sheets and bit your lips, looking like you had to concentrate to continue what you were saying. “You’re—hhhah~ always muttering my name at night—looks like I know—ah-ah-hah, why~!” 

Bakugou didn’t miss a beat. Instead, his hand wrapped around your neck and he picked up the face, drilling you so intensely that your mouth lulled open to allow pretty, pathetic squeaks to tear out of your throat. 

“It’s good to know you like to listen,” he asserted in a strained voice. You were too cute with your face flushed like it was and fucking hell did you feel good squeezing around his cock. Bakugou knew he wasn't gonna last much longer, but by the way you kept fluttering around him, he knew you were teetering on the edge of release, too. “Next time you should try knockin’ on my door. You know you’d like to see what would happen.”

“Oh, please,” you countered, but it was too late for you. Your mouth fell open as Bakugou began hammering into you, hitting you hard and well enough to have you yipping like a little bitch for him. He’d always wished for this—for you, his little sister, maybe not by blood, but by bond, dirtied up in his sheets. He thought he could never have you, and yet, here you were, taking him beautifully. It was better than he’d imagined all those countless times he’d peeped at you changing in your room or stepping out of the bath. He’d thought that you’d mock him if you ever found out, but no; you were just as fucked up as he was. 

Bakugou reached down and ran circles around your saturated nub, enjoying the sight of your body shivering underneath him. You mewled and moaned for him, squeezing your eyes shut murmuring his name. It was both everything and not enough. 

“Oh, what, princess?” 

“Oh, please, oh please, please, god, oh my god, oni-san.” Your body started convulsing wildly. Bakugou had to grab a hold of your hips to keep his pace steady as he finished his last bout. Your nails clutched and dug into his arms as he felt his rouged relief build up and jet out, hot and heavy into your quaking cunt. 

Bakugou grunted when he pulled out, still pulsing from what you’d done to him. He watched you spill out white, hot seed onto the mattress before he fell on top of you, his forehead pressed to yours. He kissed your sweaty hairline, down the bridge of your nose, and landed on your lips. You kissed him back, albeit languidly, tuckered out from the good fucking your big brother gave you. 

Bakugou chuckled and rolled back into his bed, pulling your body so you were snug up against his bare, sweaty body. The two of you drifted off into a contented sleep. He was grateful that he got his extra forty minutes of rest, but when he woke up his stomach growled. 

“Shit.” Bakugou slithered around your sleeping body, trying harder than he usually would have not to wake you, only to have you grab his hand when he got out of bed. Such a fucking cutie. “Whaddya want?” 

“I… was going to make us breakfast,” you said bashfully, probably mulling over what the two of you had just done. 

“Nah, stay in bed. I’ll whip somethin’ up.” Bakugou brought your hand to his lips and gave it a light kiss. “You’re shit at cooking anyways. Just let your oni-san take care of everything.” 

TAGS FOR EVERYTHING: @ayeputita @yandere-inamorata @dee-madwriter @unboundbnha @rizamendoza808, @rubycubix@smbody-stole-mycar-radio @zellllyyyy@sarcastictextstuck@kpanime @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten @captain-sin-allmight-queen @psionicsnow@wickedlewicked @ghost-of-todoroki @kattariapenn@im-an-adult-sometimes @bnhya @local-senpai@eggpienutbuttercroissant@usernamekate94 @reyvenclaww @hi-ho-and-hello 

[kaceyrps]

 I’d love to start some new plots under the cut are a few I really want rn, some could be mashed up into a mumu type thing. If you like anything, just hum or hit the heart! Please be 21+!

“hi we’re neighbours and omg are you alright i could smell cooking burning - whoaaa now that’s just embarrassing? step aside i’ll handle this”

“i live below you and i was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW”

Muse A tends to push everyone away, muse B is one of the few people who managed to get past their walls. They quickly became friends, and everything was going fine until they had a moment together. Muse B wanted to talk about what happened, but muse A simply wanted to pretend that it never happened – now neither of them are sure what they are to each other.

13 going on 30 plot where they were really close when they were younger, and then they both went there separate ways. and then they meet up later on, and they just start spending a lot of time together and start becoming best friends and then they slowly start to fall in love with each other (✿◠‿◠) liKE PLEASE I NEED THIS!! (Could include doing the two timelines, like them as young adults/them when they’re older)

i’d give anything for a mumu based on the secret circle (book series/short lived tv show). six young adults involved in a coven. most of them grew up together in a small, new england fishing town where everyone knows everyone. one day, they learn that they’re witches and warlocks, powers that were hidden from them because of their parents not wanting to get them involved in dark things. they’re supposed to use their powers to battle the forces of evil, to be good. what do they do instead? one makes it storm when her mother won’t buy her a new car. another changes their hair color every two weeks because they’re bored.  one of them makes it so music randomly plays whenever they walk into a room to get attention. there’s another that’s on the volleyball team at their college and they use magic to help them win. instead of using their powers for some epic battle of good and evil, they use them like any other millenial would – to get free breakfast, a few extra minutes of sleep, a nice apartment to live in, etc. we could each play three characters or maybe we have more than one mun involved but pleASE!!! someone give this to me!! i want a group of six young witches & warlocks being reckless as hell and loving life!! plus, imagine a giant brotp or poly ship?? like, PLEASE

we absolutely hate each other but we’re the romantic leads so i guess we have to make this work

i’m the stage manager and you’re the self-absorbed diva, so naturally we despise each other

A plot based on cutting edge

consider this: classic “one of the boys” girl who hangs out with the frat bros accidentally falling in love with an elle woods-esque sorority girl that she meets at a party??? muse a comes from a family w like a million older brothers so ofc she makes a beeline for the frats when she gets to college bc she feels most comfortable around boys. the only thing is, she dreads their mixers with the sorority girls bc she hates the “prissy glitter bitches” and wants to vomit whenever she sees lilly pulitzer lmao. so when muse b comes up to her at one of these mixers and introduces herself, muse a is like lol ok w/e. but to her surprise, muse b is actually like…. interesting and smart and yes definitely ridiculous but she’s still shocked that she actually has a personality. and when muse b keeps seeking her out at the mixers, muse a suddenly finds herself more and more flustered as she realizes that she has a GIANT ASS CRUSH on this girl. honestly pls just give me cute college girls in love with frat bros cheering for them in a non-gross manner

Muse A and muse B had a summer fling where they both knew it was going to end when summer did, however they both started to catch feelings and muse A’s answer to that was to kiss someone else to convince themselves they were only friends with muse B. Muse B hearing this was understandably upset and broke things off with muse A before the end of summer. They haven’t spoken with each other since but it’s summer time again and they’re now face to face with each other.

The top student in our class gets an exclusive internship and we both want it

‘popular wealthy bitch who owns the school and intimidates everybody but is secretly crushing on the soft boy with the puppy dog eyes who’s totally so unaware of it’ plot pls.

a plot like my boyfriend just broke up with me a day before new year, now i’m going to kiss the brother he hates in the new year’s eve party his parents prepared thinking the said ex was going to propose

The walls are paper thin and you just heard the brutal break up of me and my ex, and now you’re trying to comfort me through the walls and it’s kinda awkward but it’s also helping so?

The walls are paper thin and every night I watch jeopardy and I guess you’re really smart because every night you shout out the correct answer and at this point I’m not sure there’s a question you can’t answer?

The walls are paper thin and i’m not even really sure how it started but every night we have conversations about our day over dinner and at this point idk why I haven’t just invited you over?

You snuck into my apartment to avoid your ex while my door was open for groceries and I got so scared I spilled the milk everywhere?

We always see each other in the elevator during our walk of shame and it’s gotten to the point where we just share our escapades now and why haven’t we slept together yet?

We always see each other in the elevator and it’s inanely awkward because we both live on the top floor of this really tall apartment complex and we always ride in silence because the one time I tried talking to you I fucked up REALLY bad.

We always see each other in the elevator and now we’ve gotten stuck because of a power outage so really, I guess we should get to know one another at this point.

[mallowstep]

(Reedwhisker anon)

If the Erin's do confirm that Reedwhisker was in the same litter as Prim, Pike, and Perch, the only way I can figure out why he went through two years of apprenticeship hell is, well, a Serious Head Injury. Maybe Tigerstar sets up something to make himself look better. Reedpaw is only 1/4 Thunderclan, so maybe a 'show,' to make it look like he's going to have Reedpaw killed, and he talks to Darkstripe about it. Darkstripe accidentally messess up, maybe or maybe Reed hits his head on a rock during the whole thing before Tigerstar can do his whole generosity thing and spare him, and well. Everyone is confused when Reed doesn't get up, and then maybe he has a seizure or something? Idk Canon isn't my mess to fix.

Misty AU, I can actually see Mistyfoot just...physically pulling Reed close to her after Tigerstar is killed, and that's when Shadowclan realizes that oh. Reed is related to her. It's kinda even funnier if he looks like her, but they just didn't place it.

Leopard AU...if Misty is with Thunderclan's battle party when Bloodclan is introduced and Tigerstar dies, and Reed is with Riverclan's cats after Shadowclan flees, I can also see her just...walking over and lifting him up by his scruff and walking back to Thunderclan's party and Firestar is like...wat.

Stormpaw: "That's Reedpaw! He's Mistyfoot's kit." *he tells the fire pelted leader, before butting his head against Reedpaw as Stonefur attempts to get Misty to set Reed down, but it's not going to well.

As for the whole Tigerheart name thing....this boy personally voices his opinion to Twany next time he sees her too. He tells her directly to her face that she is a shitty queen, and a hypocrite.

But for The Kin and Darktail thing...in Canon, if he's from a second litter, I feel horrible for Misty. She's lost her first litter, Stone, Storm, and Feather, and now her son...is prisoner to Darktail. In Misty AU and Leopard AU...I cannot not see her going absolutely feral. Feather trying to keep her calm but Feather's regressed a bit, terror for her brother shining in her eyes, and Storm's pacing back and forth in Thunderclan camp, tail lashing. Stone probably wants to pull a rescue (if he's still alive) but Misty can't put Thunderclan or Riverclan in danger anymore then it is. Hawk, Moth, and Frog all uneasy and unhappy and twitching. They just don't know what to do. Maybe those three with Alder, Violet, and Twig stage a rescue and get everyone out. Or he's stuck as a prisoner to the Kin until Darktail is dead. Either way, big family cuddle pile every night for a moon or two. Maybe longer with Misty and Feather.

(Tried breaking this up with spaces, hope it works.)

yes thank you...greatly appreciated.

ooo that head injury idea is good! i like that a lot. yes. very good. i'm unlikely, like. i don't really care about reedwhisker as a character so shrug, i'll probably never do anything with him and the weird age stuff, but i like this as a solution! yes. very good.

dfjkldas yeah ohmygod. reedwhisker and mistyfoot walking to a gathering together and russetfur is like "oh my god we're all fucking idiots."

heh yeah. she probably would be! her and stormpaw. and she sees reedpaw and is like. "THAT'S MY FUCKING SON" and is very happy to see him. thunderclan comes home with more cats than it left with. but everyone is so happy to see him again. he's so happy to see everyone again. good reunion times.

mistyfoot is Not letting reedpaw out of her sight for like. at least three days. probably longer but at least three days. reedpaw is fine with that. he's very excited to see everyone. stonefur. god. yes. good family reunion times.

and yes -- god. i love. okay one of like. my fav things about tawnypelt (in the misty au) is this disbalance in their experiences. because -- to be clear, tawnypelt is also traumatized by tigerclan. but her experience is so fundamentally different like -- hm. it's not even.

excerpt time yes. some stuff from tnp i'm many whiles away from publishing.

so feathertail like actually doesn't remember very much of tigerclan. not in any specifics. it's all a very hazy mess with some key moments.

Feathertail wants to make her name them all, but Feathertail doesn't think she knows what they are. "What are you apologizing for, Tawnypelt?"

to face the burning heat

but tawnypelt does

"I—" remember how you screamed, Tawnypelt's mind supplies. I remember when I didn't understand. I remember everything, Feathertail. "I'm sure. I'm sorry for that, and every other time."

trying not to face what i've done

and yet. it's a hugely formative thing for feathertail, in a way that like -- tawnypelt doesn't get.

"No, we can't, can we?" Feathertail says. Her posture has changed, her ears folded back, and Tawnypelt shrinks.

trying not to face what i've done

like tawnypelt recognizes what's going on but she doesn't realize how deep she's cut

Brambleclaw is watching them. He has stepped back, Feathertail realizes, there is nothing between Tawnypelt and herself. She could — she could leap. Feathertail is frozen, her hindlegs refuse to move, she can't — she can't do this.

to face the burning heat

and yeah. so what's my point?

well, it'd be the same thing here, wouldn't it? because again, tawnypelt is one of tigerstar's victims. everything else aside, he's not like. he's emotionally abusive to her. he ties her self worth to his approval and he's not afraid to twist that thread to keep her under his thumb.

"Stop fucking whining," he snaps and she flinches.

let me write my own line

so to her like -- yeah. her whole decision kind of makes sense. because tawnypelt is -- not intentionally, but she's a very selfish character.

"What are you apologizing for, Tawnypelt?" Feathertail says this like it is a question, like they are not both staring at the result of everything Tawnypelt has done. Brambleclaw is watching in silence. I'm sorry, brother, she thinks. "Say it," Feathertail spits. "Tell me what you're sorry for."

trying not to face what i've done

like she's --- she's worried about her perception, here. it's complicated because she does apologize, she does let it come out, but she's also very concerned with her own image.

and that happens again when she names her son tigerkit. because she's thinking -- i am reclaiming this. but to everyone else, she's naming her son after a monster, she's openly invoking that comparison, like. i already think tigerheart has a very very complex to negative relationship with his name.

(especially once he becomes leader.)

so with that in mind -- yeah. first of all rip tigerheart for the comparison but second.

reedwhisker is Not having it. 0%. what the Fuck are you Doing tawnypelt.

i think -- honestly, i think mistyfoot would be angry with him for going as far as calling her a bad queen. right like, i don't -- i think that would be a step too far for her. but everyone in riverclan and shadowclan and all of the clans are supportive of reedwhisker.

(i saw a think about tigerkit being golden and goldenkit and -- my heart. feels things. goldenheart. i love it. hm. i literally have it saved in my au ideas folder. "oots except tigerheart is named goldenheart. that's it. that's the only difference.")

and yeah oh man the fucking kin like man. god -- i'm actually working on something about that? about how like -- it triggers mistystar's ptsd? anyway.

but yeah -- for Minimal Angst (and canon coherence) i think reedwhisker would be the only kit in her litter but i imagine like -- mistystar is very protective of him because of course she is, very reasonable. and so for him to be taken from her is just. unthinkably cruel.

and yeahh -- she would be really, really, really angry. this is what...like 8 years later? and still -- oh first of all.

just. the angst of -- because stormheart and stonefur were not there for the worst of it. and even though they saw the aftermath, you know, okay actually.

shadepelt would be probably like. very upset about the bodies. because the whole reason she almost died was that she tried to bury bodies. and stormheart like -- he hasn't really seen shadepelt like this. not really, not in a long time. hnng. good.

but feathertail is -- yeah. she's Retreating to Safety. even after this much time she's still very close with mistystar, and i don't think -- after reedwhisker is held hostage, i don't think she'd want to separate from her.

and everyone is so angry and frustrated and done because -- this isn't fair.

i think hawk, moth, and frog would definitely attempt a rescue. (i mean if i wanted maximum angst one of them would be held hostage as well. just for the record.) and --

oh i've talked about like. the angst of seeing your parent like. hurt. and this hurts them Again.

like it's hard, right? and even if they're adults feathertail is still their mom but she's scared and ohh. good stuff.

but yeah, rescue attempts. oh. maybe in the rescue attempt one of them gets captured. maybe like. hm. idk. maybe frog and alder. idk. but they get themselves captured and -- because alder is kind of like a dad to violet and twig and now there's So Much damn family angst.

but when it's all over -- mistystar is going to have a Lot of cats in her den for a while.

i'm not sure if/when mistyfoot and feathertail stop sleeping together? like maybe at some point but yeah. feathertail is like. "hi mistystar this is Our Den now."

(mistystar is fine with this. she's somewhat less fine with the fact that stonefur, stormheart, and reedwhisker are following suit because her den is like. big enough for maybe three or four cats to sleep comfortably, and hawkfrost, mothwing, and frogheart keep sneaking in, and she needs to be able to get out of her own den she is the leader oh my god, but only a little because really she just loves them a lot.)

[nikkoliferous]

Phase One: Thor

Since I was looking up my past live-blog of the novel and realising how annoying and repetitive reading through it all is because of my having structured it as a bunch of reblogs, I’ve decided to organize it all into one long-ass post instead. In case anyone else wants to read it in the future. Or in case I decide to re-read it. Because I’m hilarious. 😅

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO

My Hilarious Yet Wrathful Overview Of Phase One: Thor, Redux

—

If your son who’s to become king requires a babysitter to not screw it all up and also the idea of him being king is stressful enough to put you into a coma, maybe, uh… reconsider doing that? Just a thought.

But you see here why Odin was so deadset on Thor becoming king, despite him being ill-suited for the role. It’s not about what’s best for Asgard; it’s about personal legacy. Thor is Odin’s mini me, and Loki is very much not. There are places within the text where Odin laments Thor “lacking his father’s wisdom” (he’s definitely inherited your humility, though, Odin!), but he hopes for Thor to grow into a “wise king” like himself. Whereas he holds no such illusions (lol, pun) that Loki will ever take after him.

now with tag commentary! #this scene is in the script and both novelizations #(though in reading this novel seems to just be a more complete version of the junior novel? #idk i'm confused because they're supposedly written by different authors but so far the text is identical) #and it drives me insane each time i read it

“Haha, I’m a warmongering piece of shit, isn’t it funny?”

I know, I know. I try to cut Asgard some slack for being such a militaristic culture because social changes happen slowly and when you live for thousands of years per generation, it makes sense that your views on things like war would be regressive. The text says Odin has ruled Asgard for tens of thousands of years (so much for taking Loki’s “give or take 5,000 years” line literally; sure, the Odinsleep would have extended Odin’s lifespan, but by that much? Idk).

Still, fuck Odin. Especially since he’ll eventually try to shame Loki for doing the same thing he’s fucking boasting about here. And on a much smaller scale too.

…is it, though?

I actually think Loki’s relationship with being the centre of attention is really interesting in its complexity and we don’t discuss it enough. I’ve said this before, but he strikes me as the sort of person who craves attention but also wouldn’t really know what to do with it if he had it. He craves it as a result of neglect, because he’s never been shown recognition or validation. This is why he seems to revel in it in Stuttgart, even in (or maybe especially in?) his brainwashed state. But he also frequently comes across as pretty introverted and has horrible self-esteem, so I think on another level, sustained, genuine attention would make him feel kind of uncomfortable. Loki seems to believe that in order to be loved or respected, he has to literally be Thor, though. And Thor has always been the centre of attention, so for Loki, attention is synonymous with respect.

I find Loki’s relationship with wanting attention especially fascinating because I too both crave and fear it. As a borderline, I need it. When no one is paying attention to me, I lose my sense of identity. I feel as though I literally cease to exist. It’s excruciatingly painful. And yet, I have no authentic sense of self; I’m just a chameleon, and the closer people get to me, the more likely it is they’ll see behind my mask. They’ll realise it’s all a show and that I’m actually no one. And then they’ll leave. I can’t help wondering if that’s how Loki feels sometimes too.

Wait, what? You mean goat. His horns are shaped like a goat’s. This is a ram: 

This is a goat:

This is Loki:

Do you see now? They’re like a goat. Not a ram. Not a cow. A GOAT.

This book was written before Ragnarok was a thing, so it may be unfair to connect the two, but it still seems worth noting that it was Thor who reduced Loki to being no more than a trickster to begin with. “You could be more,” my ass. Loki’s problem has never been that he was one-dimensional; it was always that the people in his life, including Thor, refused to see any other dimensions to him. Which makes those words particularly cruel—as if they aren’t cruel enough already, what with the physical torture and all. 

Always happy to have cause to point out that

Loki was on Thor clean-up duty their whole lives; he certainly was not trying to kill Thor.

People like to point to Loki’s attempted genocide of the Jötnar and attempted(-ish? lol) conquest of Earth as proof that he’s some kind of violent maniac. But in a little place I like to call reality, Loki was historically far less aggressive and bloodthirsty than his peers.

Question: why is one conqueror evil and the other is righteously entitled to ruling over the Nine Realms?

Asgardian exceptionalism FTW

I can’t even begin to imagine what would lead you to expect such a thing, Odin. 😂

Uh, ‘cause it is?? And also their planet is MELTING without it??

This is all only within the first two chapters, btw. Lmao

—

—

—

“Looking for answers,” my foot.

YOU WOULD THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU??

#i mean unless you knew heimdall #he only commits treason on days that end in y

—

—

What’d I say? Thor clean-up dutyyyyy 

Just wanna remind everyone that this 

is why he’s smiling during this scene 

because it makes me laugh every time. 😂 

—

My heart breaks every time I remember that second excerpt because literally ALL OF IT happened to him when he survived falling through the wormhole. My poor boy. 😭

But also of note… Loki gets cold (and also does not like being cold). This interests me because 1) as many are aware, the prevalent headcanon that Loki has a low body temperature irritates me and 2) it possibly(?) lends weight to the theory that he may not be fully Jötun, whether by virtue of his birth or Odin’s spell.

Haha, look at this Feminist Icon™ trying to take credit for his female friend’s accomplishments! Truly inspiring. 

#for some reason the ragnarok lovers have somehow decided that thor is both a feminist and lesbian icon #whatever that means 🤷‍♀️ #and i'm still trying very hard to figure out why #is it literally just because he *says* he respects women or whatever in that dumb rambly conversation with valkyrie?

Ooh… you were so close to getting the point, Volstagg. So close. Take your tongue off Odin’s boot for just a couple minutes longer.

Also, the author just forgot the name of the Casket. How did this book get published? 😂

JUST LOOKING FOR ANSWERS, HUH?

Because fuck Loki, amirite? He, uh… he’s a prince too, you know.

Also… Fandral, you dweeb 😂

…am I reading too much into this, or did Odin just literally forget that Loki exists?

On the other hand, the author also seemed to forget Loki existed for most of this chapter, so who knows. 🤷‍♀️

lmao @ Jane immediately trying to convince herself she’s too rational to be attracted to a stranger 

Honestly, though, big mood. 

Just your periodic reminder that Thor’s sycophantic friends KNEW Loki was right and decided to throw him under the bus anyway. 

Just as I’ve always said: That was it. That was their ENTIRE rationale. That Loki *could* have done it, therefore he must have. Please tell me these people have nothing to do with Asgard’s justice system.

…lol, jk, Asgard has no justice system.

Ok, first of all, no.

Second: thank you, Fandral. You’re a self-absorbed cad, but also evidently Thor’s least stupid friend.

Thirdly, how…? First, it was, “Loki arranged all this because he’s jealous of Thor.” Now they’ve suddenly jumped all the way to, “All of Asgard is in danger.” What exactly does Sif think Loki is planning? He’s gonna, what… assassinate Odin and then sell Asgard to the Jötnar?

—

Please stop hurting me.

Just so there’s no confusion: this one sentence explains everything Loki did for the rest of the movie. It explains how a person who has been historically non-aggressive suddenly transforms into a warmonger. To prove himself a real Asgardian, like his brother and father and grandfather. 

—

…why did Odin fall into the Odinsleep in two completely different scenes in this book? I’m super confused.

Also, we really need to talk about how cruel it is of Marvel to keep forcing Loki to prove his loyalty again and again and again when he’s been doing so almost literally since we met him. And by “we need to talk about it”, I mean I need to tie Kevin Feige and co. to a chair and spend a minimum of five hours lecturing them on how poorly they understand their own fucking character.

Let’s just be clear here: they’re talking about Loki. They’re saying Loki, their LEGITIMATE king, is an enemy of Asgard, based on evidence so paper-thin it’s practically invisible. Just… please, let that sink in. Take a moment to appreciate how utterly fucked up that is. 

I’m sorry (not really), but Thor was so much funnier before Ragnarok.

This scene has always kind of bugged me. If Odin removed Thor’s powers, how come he can still control the weather? Confusing.

So what exactly was Thor’s plan anyway, before he realised he couldn’t lift Mjölnir? He was just gonna call on Heimdall to help him commit treason AGAIN, show up on Asgard against the expressed command of his king, and… Odin would just shrug and be like, “You got me, son! I guess I can’t keep you down. Welcome home!”?

…I mean, I guess that more or less is what happened in the end, but it’s hard to imagine it would have still gone down that way without all the stuff that happened with Loki. Idk.  

#look what i'm saying is... thor is not exactly a thinking person #no one on asgard is a thinking person #except loki but he's crazy now so he's also thinking somewhat poorly lol

Cool, Thor. Now imagine feeling that way for ONE THOUSAND YEARS and develop a little fucking empathy for your brother.

But you won’t.

You’ll brush off his feelings of worthlessness as “imagined slights”. 😒

Nice that somebody knows how the royal line of succession works, I guess… 

That sound you hear? Yeah, that’s just my heart breaking. NBD. 

First, they mislabelled it the Casket of Eternal Winters. Now it’s the Cask of Ancient Winters. Author must have been thirsty when they wrote this. Lol 

Look, not to nitpick, but this is not the recommended procedure when you see a storm that you don’t believe is of supernatural origin coming. I’m just saying. Lol 

Uh… ‘cause he is?? And your pals are committing treason AGAIN, Thor, so it technically is responding to a threat to Asgard. Just FYI.

Anyways, this is an important point that doesn’t get made often enough. People want to act like Loki illegally usurped the throne somehow, but even without the deleted scene that explicitly shows Frigga passing rulership to him (a scene which is, for some reason, entirely skipped over in this book, but whatever), understand this: Loki could not have controlled the Destroyer unless he was legitimately King of Asgard. The fact that he’s able to do so is irrefutable proof that his rulership is valid.

lmao you little shit

So… here’s my issue with this scene (and with Thor as a character): He always assumes that Loki’s acting out specifically to hurt him. That Loki’s entire life and thought process revolves around Thor. He does it in this scene, he does it in The Avengers… it’s just a chronic thing with Thor. Everything is viewed through the lens of Loki inexplicably hating him.

But that’s… just not accurate. Yes, Loki harbours a lot of jealousy towards Thor. But that’s not what’s happening in this scene. Loki is not trying to kill Thor here because he wants him dead; he’s doing it because Thor (and his friends) are getting in the way of Loki completing his ultimate goal. Loki tried to solve this problem non-violently, by lying about Odin being dead. It’s Thor’s friends who all but forced his hand by going behind his back and trying to bring Thor back to Asgard against Loki’s (and Odin’s!) direct orders.

For all the humility he’s learned in the past few days, this entire speech is still really all about Thor. About assuming that Loki’s doing this for personal reasons, because he holds a grudge against Thor for some unknown reason. This is implicit in his request to “take [my life] and end this.” It never even occurs to him that his friends are traitors to the Crown and Loki, as King of Asgard, is perhaps justified in pursuing them.

It also needs to be acknowledged that Thor’s apology here is hollow, even if it’s ultimately coming from his heart, because he has no idea what he’s apologising for. “Whatever I have done to wrong you” is not an apology. An apology addresses specific hurtful actions taken and commits to not repeating those mistakes in the future. Thor cannot commit to not repeating the hurtful things he’s done, because he doesn’t know what he’s done. Despite his best intentions, what Thor is doing here is actually kind of manipulative. He’s not addressing any substantive issue between the two of them; he’s just trying to talk Loki down. And it ultimately fails not because Loki doesn’t care or because he wants Thor dead, but because it doesn’t actually change anything.

Finally and only semi-relatedly, we should maybe at some point talk about the fact that Loki, who is stated to be a master tactician, has displayed a weird pattern of hardly ever being as lethal as he could be. He freezes Heimdall in place instead of killing him outright; he backhands Thor with the Destroyer instead of incinerating him; he, well… *gestures vaguely at almost the entirety of the first Avengers movie* Anytime the violence is even a little bit personal, he seems to hedge. Odd behaviour for somebody who’s supposedly super evil.

I’m sorry, I know I’ve pointed it out at least a hundred times before, but I just can’t encounter this scene in any form without taking a moment to appreciate how underrated and hilarious it is.

I also genuinely wonder how many Ragnarok stans who have accused me of having no sense of humour, have failed to laugh at moments like this one. Kinda feel like if you need to have the comedy spoonfed to you in the form of ass jokes, maybe you’re the one whose sense of humour is lacking. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s be super clear: this is not what happened. Loki did not betray Odin; he was betrayed by Odin. He did not open Asgard to its enemies; he attempted, misguidedly, to destroy Asgard’s enemies. And he most certainly did not commit suicide out of a sense of guilt.

I’m not saying Loki did nothing wrong, nor am I saying he feels no regret for the lives he has taken. What I’m saying is there’s no indication that he believes he betrayed Odin or Asgard in the process. Which makes perfect sense, because he didn’t. Everything he tried to do was for Odin and Asgard. It was misguided and horrible, yes, but it can hardly be classified as a betrayal.

The insurmountable burden on Loki is not that he did terrible things, but that no matter what he does or how hard he tries, Odin will never look at him with anything but contempt. Consider once more these passages from the very beginning of the book, at Thor’s coronation:

—

Consider that this book goes to great pains to point out that Odin favours Thor because Thor is a warrior like him. And yet even when Loki embraces that, even when he acts more war-like than ever before, Odin rejects him— just as he always has.

There is a reason why this moment is the last time Loki will ever call Odin his father. Because he realises once and for all that, no, nothing he tries will ever be good enough; no, Odin won’t ever look at him with pride. That is Loki’s burden. That is why he lets go.

The epilogue is really just two pages of making me want to vomit. 

There’s your party where Thor and a certain subset of the fandom insist that Loki was mourned. There’s barely an indication here that anyone even perceives his demise as a negative thing.

“[Sif] could see Frigga thought [Loki was dead] as well” also contradicts the tie-in comic for TDW, so I don’t know what the author is on about there. Unlike the majority of Marvel comics, the tie-in comics are canon to the MCU, so it’s a bizarre statement to make.

COULD YOU SMEAR THE DEAD* ABUSE VICTIM A LITTLE HARDER, PLEASE? Fucking hell.

No matter how many times I encounter this scene, in whatever format, I still fail to become desensitized to how disgusting it is. I realise there’s a good chance that whatever version of events Thor has been told was twisted at best; but how you can look at a man whose son has just committed suicide under any circumstances and say there will never be a better father than that guy, is utterly beyond my capacity to understand.

And Odin’s “you’ve already made me proud” line just feels like extra salt in the wound because, again, Loki let go because he realized Odin would never say those words to him. And yet they come so damn easily when it’s Thor.

Fuck this entire family so much. I think I hate them more than Loki does. Sometimes I wonder what he would think about that. How he would react to knowing that not only is he actually loved, but that he’s so loved that people are genuinely furious at the way he’s been mistreated. That there are people who regularly devolve into full-on rants because they just can’t contain how much anger they have towards the people who hurt him. I think he’d have a hard time wrapping his head around that concept, tbh.

Anyways, to end on a not-completely-depressing note, I’m still waiting for someone at Marvel to explain how Loki knew what Thor said in this scene after plummeting into a wormhole. ‘Cause he references this conversation as Fauxdin at the end of TDW. So like… ?? Did he steal Odin’s memories before he erased them? Because that would be… kind of neat, actually. And very clever. Not entirely ethical, of course, but it’s Odin, so fuck ethics.

WELP, THAT’S IT. Thanks for following along with my dumbassery, hope you enjoyed yourselves. Lol

[anarmorofwords]

I think I’m only protective against people against platonic fairstairs (romantic fairstairs can like not) because…I get the feeling that idk; sometimes Matthew is the only merry thief the fandom at large doesn’t want to grow beyond their small circle of friendship, like he’s friends with Anna but like him and Cordelia being friends is good for him, I think? Good for Cordelia too. I think, at least. They like a lot of the same stuff, they have been nothing but warm to each other, and they honestly enjoy each other’s company? I really don’t think Matthew had any ulterior motives in befriending her other than he thought she was nice (him expressing “love” for her in the romantic sense feels like the biggest comphet “I feel a way for you and I am a guy and you are a girl, I should feel romantic for you” and “I want to emotionally hurt myself” which aren’t really actual romantic feelings), they spent time together (the road trip was cute and one of the rare moments that I felt “oh these two are actually allowing themselves to enjoy something good for them” before Lilith ruined it), he came out to her! Something he seemed actually very scared to do! I even think him telling her what he did isn’t even that bad because he spilled it to try and make her feel better (even if it’s not I would have done in the slightest) because he honestly does value her as a friend, and wants her to feel better even if the only way he can think to do that is “you can’t be a monster, I know a monsters and I am one.” Matthew doesn’t have to put on an act for Cordelia because Cordelia DOENST know him as well and know what he used to be like, Matthew doesn’t put Cordelia’s hero complex on edge because he’s also a natural care taker mom friend so he also doesn’t give off “I need to save him energy, or I need to do this myself, because he’s ready to give her his everything already and without conditions so like it’s complementary.

Oh and I think there is a another reason they bonded: Grace.

Grace basically is the driving force in at least the main plot of the books so far that’s moved Cordelia and Matthew from their main friendships, with Lucie and James, in a way. Lucie because she’s helping Grace, Cordelia’s assumed love rival, which must sting even if Cordelia doesn’t have the full story to why she’s helping grace but from Cordelia’s side she’s seeing her best friend and the man she loves pick grace over her and that sucks, then you have Matthew who is trying to slowly bring UO to James that Grace isn’t worth it and getting screamed at over it. Basically, both of them are kind of “left behind” and they formed a friendship from that general state of just being the only ones left to pair up like the two kids without partners for a school project who end up liking each other and staying friends but wouldn’t have become friends if they hadn’t had this series of events leading them together.

They are fine as friends, love triangle bullshit is dumb, should have just been the tlh version of Emma and Cristina is my ending point sorry for annoying you with a thesis called “platonic fairstairs made total sense, cc is just too romance minded to not fuck it up and I don’t blame people for rejecting romantic fairstairs but to say their friendship is fake or came out of nowhere is a little bit of a stretch for me personally.”

hi anon!!

i feel you and I'm with you!! I hate romantic Fairstairs, but platonic?! I love that relationship.

That's frustrating, true, but it's as simple as people hate Matthew and therefore don't want him associated with the characters they like, or even worse, accept that he could be an important part of their lives, and will do all sorts of mental gymnastics to discredit their friendship.

Anna and Matthew are a whole other topic, but from what I remember, it's only said that they're close, and we barely see that relationship. Plus I personally don't like Anna, so I like him being friends with someone else. I love TMT - hope they can work out their issues ofc - but they all can and should have friends outside of that.

Oh absolutely! I think their relationship is awesome! They have great banter and are comfortable around each other, and caring and they pay attention to each other. Matthew never took advantage of her, genuinely cares about her as a friend, and did that even before he was "in love", and he was nothing but respectful and clear about his feelings. He said he'd respect her boundaries in Paris, too.

I know some people will try their best to ignore the good things about him and that relationship, but Matthew was the only one that was there for her throughout all the mess with James and other things. (just so we're clear, it's on no way am attempt at shitting on Alastair; he was there for her all their lives and he's trying his best and I love him; also, Cordelia herself didn't give him a chance to help in this case; but I'm just stating a fact)

He was a steady friend who supported her all the time - made her laugh, cheered her up. Remember how free she felt during their little trip? Matthew gave her a chance to feel carefree and reckless for a moment, something her golden child syndrome and lonely upbringing with Elias didn't allow much of. James (tho it's not his fault) only stressed her out and she was suffocating in that relationship, while Matthew let her breathe more freely. Overlooking that just because you hate him is,,,, a choice.

Even the scene after Elias's death - it wasn't Matthew's intention to be insensitive about it (was he, actually? it did make her feel better, so I'm not sure what to think) He attempted to cheer her up, and then the monster thing was also supposed to do that. And perhaps it wasn't the best way of doing so, but that's not his fault. He didn't make it about him - he just tried to help the way he thought would be best. I saw people say that trying to relate to someone else's problems is a thing many ND people do as means of showing support, and Matthew is sometimes suggested to be ADHD, sooo

You're right, they seem to work well together and not make their respective "fatal flaws" worse.

And Matthew is more relaxed around her, but also more open and vulnerable - as you say, he doesn't need to pretend so much, doesn't need to put on a show.

That's a very interesting point about Grace, and you're totally right! I think Matthew is even aware of that - he kinda feels like both him and Cordelia were abandoned by James and wants to somehow make up for it to her, but also is looking for a friend himself, for someone to support and see him. They're both losing James to Grace, and can bond over that.

The little kids in a group metaphor is beautiful, thanks dear.

yes yes yes

yes

i still remember how my heart raced when Matthew told her that their group was missing something - and it was her. It seemed like a start of such a beautiful friendship, and I'm starving for m/f friendships. But alas, CC can't write those :'))

so yes, thank you, I agree, and you don't annoy me at all!! feel free to send whatever thesis you wanna share <3

[sunsetcurvecuddles]

n and u if you're still answering from the fanfic asks

thank you so much anon!! from this ask game

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

ooo there’s a few specific wips or fic ideas from friends of mine that i’m just DYING to read (no pressure at all but YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE). of my own works i desperately wish someone else would write the fic that lives in my head rent-free where reggie and ray talk about breaking the cycle of abuse as parents and ray tells reggie that he thinks reggie would have been a good dad :(

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

this question is really really hard because there are so many amazing authors to pick from! i legitimately couldnt narrow it down to 3 even just from the first ones who come to mind so have 5 sdlkfjsdlkfjs THIS IS STILL NOT ALL THE AUTHORS I LOVE NOT AT ALL NOT EVEN CLOSE. should i make an author rec post. would anyone appreciate it if i did that. ANYWAY here

@sweetheartreggie i feel like this is a given but a) kat’s fics are wonderful, the way their characters totally embody the “it’s rotten work” “not to me not if it’s you” energy (their BOGGIE my GOD!!! their bobby the original petname fiend) but then the cute stuff is so fluffy and satisfying and warm and like home. plus the endless amounts of co-creating we do that never sees the light of day... plus the fact that essentially everything i write is totally interwoven with things we make, from obvious cowrites like molars to the fact that every reggie i ever write has our endless hours of discussion about him stamped on them like a wax seal. kat is in every corner of my work and i want them to stay there forever. ily kat

@chickwiththepurpleguitar hi lilly this should be obvious LOL but genuinely the way that lilly’s writing can pull the rug out from under your feet and just devastate you. unprecedented. sometimes i will sit in google docs and watch lilly write in real time and the dialogue literally leaves me breathless as it appears. the way characters look after each other in her fics (sickfic ICON for the record), the way that when i first read longfic i had to roll over and muffle my face in my pillow and scream multiple times out of sheer agony, etc. lilly’s characters make real mistakes, the kinds where you scream YOU IDIOT as you read but you also totally, completely get why they’re doing it, and they’re so raw and vulnerable in the best ways. also, lilly’s alex characterisation my beloved. also the bobbyrayrose dynamic she has painstakingly built not only lives rent-free in my head, i am paying rent to the bobbyrayrose dynamic. it’s got a whole little business up in here. it’s the landlord now.

@arolou new player on the scene but not in my heart old fandom friend <3 do you want to cry? do you literally want to bawl your eyes out over the sticky, tight-in-your-chest, complex feelings about how hard it is to be friends and to love other people well and to talk to them about it? ALTERNATIVELY do you want to laugh and be filled with joy and sunshine? BOTH OPTIONS ARE AVAILABLE. i love the .. idk if grit is the right word, because it’s not quite that rough, but her characters feel like they have something tangible and real and sometimes bitey about them that makes me love them all the more. my favourite line about alex ever written is in one of her fics. also genuinely amazing aro rep. ily so much

@joyandthephantoms FIND ME A MORE UNDERRATED JATP AUTHOR YOU CAN’T. it’s the total mastery of twisted-up, angry, loving, amazing feelings for me. it’s the characters fucking up and caring and doing their best and doing badly and realising and trying again and doing better for me. it’s the tumbling whirlwind of feelings getting stopped in its tracks by the gutpunch of sudden awareness for me. it’s the catharsis for me. i can’t genuinely do justice to joy’s fics in my own words so like, just, read them and have a better life.

@julies-butterflies lydiaa what always knocks me flat is this: lydia is a total package author like other authors dream of being. lydia’s fics can be funny or absolutely heartbreaking, her prose is GENUINELY from another dimension of good, like, some of my favourite sentences in the english language but they’re just every other paragraph and it’s like being punched in the face with beautiful words, but also then things will be SO . FUCKING. FUNNY. lydia writes my favourite julie in the entire world, has mastered atmosphere so much that i feel like i breathe the same air as these characters, and is my go-to when i need to read something that feels like an actual hug is happening to me.

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I JUST LOVE MY TALENTED FRIENDS

[namtanlovesfilm]

If you had to cast offgun as the main couple in a show with the same storyline as any show that already exists, which would you choose?

oooh that’s such a good question! offgun have proved times & times again that they can fit basically any genre of series, from super light ones like puppy honey, to angsty & deep ones like theory of love & now a violent, psychological & complex one with not me. they are incredibly versatile actors & they literally could fit any storyline so so so well but here are the roles I could’ve seen them the most in:

markkit in gen y: off & kimmon are legit the same person for me lmao so everytime I see mark I see off embodying him perfectly as a character. & as we’ve seen in theory of love gun plays tsunderes really well so he’d do great as kit. though honestly I wouldn’t change this casting for the world, I’m so happy I got my kimcop reunion :)))

tangmolove in great men academy: listen every off character is bi/pan & he’s dorky af so he’d SLAY tangmo (also him & jaylerr need to play siblings asap pleaaaase) & both james and gun are equally as talented so I believe gun could slay love too. I adore the original casting but I think they’d work perfectly in this show! 

bohnduen in my engineer: hum??? I just realized they’d be perfect for bohnduen??? like... actually fucking perfect??? off as bohn the pining bisexual & gun as duen the tsundere. idk why gun fits tsundere roles so well to me but he does! they’d be so good as bohnduen no joke

saifahzon in why r u: listen....... y’all probably know that saifahzon is one of my very favorite ships & I wouldn’t switch out tommy & jimmy for the world. but also................................. they already have the height difference,,, they’re soft as hell just like them,,, they’ve got the incredible chemistry they have... it would fucking work, I’m sure of it

manner of death: again I love the casting of maxtul & I think they’re excellent but gun as bun & off as tan would actually also work really well & it’d change so much from their usual roles!

ben x jim: listen,,, if they make a thai remake of this show offgun would be perfect for it as the plot is actually quite close to theory of love. gun as the pining gay jim & off as the clueless and messy ben... yeah it’d basically be tol all over again lmao

popoat in what the duck: at this point it’s just me replacing some of my fave ships with offgun as the actors lmao, but the emotional depth popoat carried would suit offgun soooooo much. off as the annoying but loveable and pining bisexual oat & gun as (again a tsundere in denial) pop... gosh the way I’d live for this. but also popoat broke my motherfucking heart so like no sir I do not want offgun to take part in this :’)

life senjou no bokura: I mean... offgun already did that tv reality where they imagined themselves as older men together, sooooo... the whole ‘growing old together’ concept is already SO offgun. also I fucking love that show & idk if they were to ever make a thai remake I’d want offgun to do it they’d be amazing

xxx

[ziracona]

hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?

Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).

Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.

For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:

Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.

Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.

Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.

Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.

Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.

Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.

Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z

Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.

Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.

X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.

(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.

Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.

Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.

And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!

[doerunners]

Who are you two favourite cats in each clan you're in? And why?

NettleClan:

Pansykit -

I think this one should have been pretty easy to anticipate, but I absolutely adore Pansykit. I've been so closely involved in her since before she was born and watching her growth through kithood alone has been amazing. Words cannot stress enough how excited I am to watch her develop through apprenticeship and see her gentle, kind nature grow. I think the relationship she has with Tansykit is great because they both foil one another so well. Pansykit mirrors Tansykit's cold, isolationist nature while Tansykit mirrors Pansykit's caring, sweet nature. They work so well as a duo, especially so when the twin aspect is added onto them. I have so much love in my heart for Pansykit. She is so perfect and I will die for her. @leafwhisker

Flickerclaw -

Okay I'll be honest and say I haven't always been a Flickerclaw stan. It was really easy to see him as a character through the lense of Spark, and it was ironically as Spark began to let go of his anger at Raven and Maple that I began to appreciate Flicker's unique and interesting arc. Watching his fish-out-of-water narrative, seeing those emotions as Raven gravitated away from him and left him with a similar sense of loneliness that he left Aspen with? SO cool to see, and its awesome to watch how that experience allowed Flicker to realize the faults in his own actions and reach out to Spark (and hopefully lter Aspen) to apologize. I really love the way hes grown up and how he had to learn the hard way that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I can't wait to see more with him regarding Hawk and Daisy as well- that's going to be such a unique thing to see. @mintswhisker

JaggedClan:

Swallowstorm -

An answer that shocks no one- I fucking love Swallowstorm. I would jump in front of a moving train for her. I would give Swallowstorm my left kidney. I love Swallowstorm. I've always had a soft spot for nasty girl characters and Swallowstorm is the nastiest girl there is. I'm heartbroken that I joined Jagged so late just because it means I missed out on a lot of her earlier development, but seeing her through the lense of Doerunner has honestly made her character that much more charming. I think Swallow's obsession with power and control is a really unique and captivating thing- I can't really think of another character that approaches this in a way as awesome and dynamic as her. The way she would go as far as to hurt herself and others around her just to keep that reality in tact for herself, the way she isolates herself just to tell herself the lie that it has to be this way because nobody else will understand, as well as to justify the way the cats closest to her have abandoned her/betrayed her trust. Her ego is too big for her own good, and to watch her repeatedly reach her breaking point, fall deeper into that dark mindset, only to place the limits of that breaking point further is so fucking awesome. I could honestly go on for paragraphs about all the subtleties I love about Swallowstorm, shes just genuinely so well written and dynamic and three dimensional. I'll be selfish for a bit and go on about how fun its been to reach out to that cold, broken cat through Doerunner, who's also broken but just in such a fundamentally different way. Seeing this relationship between Doe and Swallow where Doe tries to find her worth in befriending cats where Swallow finds her worth in pushing them away? So fucking GOOOOD. Especially when Swallowstorm is the one cat in JaggedClan who saved Doerunner, who literally kept her from freezing to death in the snow. Idk. Idk. I'm soft.

Mousetail -

My MOM. I love miss Mouse, especially because I'm one of the people who was lucky enough to see her shift from NettleClan to JaggedClan. To watch her go from lonely, angry, and hostile to the loving, gentle, and happy cat she is in JaggedClan has been such an awesome development to watch. I like how her happiness didn't come without a price- her scene leaving Crowstar behind, the way she's confronted Lavenderstrike after the way her kits were targeted, her overall apprehensive nature regarding her new clanmates is really nice to watch, her acclimation as a JaggedClan cat is slow and methodical and I like that a lot. It feels realistic and allows for a lot more growth and potential in the future. I'm really excited for her kits to reach six moons because there's so many more confrontations to see that are going to be absolutely great. I can't wait for Duststorm and Swiftstrike to meet her again, for them to view how far she's come in six moons, for Crowstar to see the way her family has grown, for Mottlepelt and her to speak again- there's a lot for Mouse to face in the future and I cannot WAIT to see how it goes. @currentfangs

The Tribe:

Butterfly -

Miss Butterfly.... my darling to-be. In the same way I'm soft on nasty girls, I'm also soft on characters with severe family trauma and Butterfly has that by the fucking BOATLOAD. The way she's been written through it all has been such a treat to watch, her using that obsession with the truth and being a well behaved, perfect cat to cope??? PEAK writing. I can hardly believe shes over a year old now as a character. I love the way she started fearful and anxious of the world because of how much it hurt her to a cat who, while still having some anticipation and fear, has a bit more confidence, especially through her relationship with Firefly and Spark. I just wuv her so much and I can't wait to see her function as an adult cat in the tribe! I can't wait to see her bond with her peers, meet Spark's kits, develop more with Butterfly and Fading. Shes a perfect little darling girl and I'll die for her. (Leo its not letting me tag you so I'll just DM you lol)

Aspen Snow -

Last but not least, miss Aspen. She's one of the first characters I got to develop a meaning, worthwhile relationship with. I've watched her go to an angry, spunky kid to a complex, hurt adult. She's an interesting look into a character who just can't seem to catch a break and is a great mix of a character who doesn't know how to pull herself out of her hurt. I like how over the course of time, she developed into a cat who's too closed off about her emotions while Spark became a cat who's open with his emotions to a fault. They balance one another out when they're together, but apart they both spiral out of control in opposite directions. Her complicated relationships with all her siblings really symbolizes how her horrible early on experiences leaves her inable to bond with them now in a healthy way. Her relationship with her season makes it so her emotions, so bottled up, explode in drastically unhealthy ways when they reach their boiling point and those instances only serve to haunt Aspen Snow and lead her to believe she's a worse cat than she really is. I want to see a healing arc with her SO badly man

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Royal Assassin

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Not as stark a difference as with Assassin’s Apprentice, but definitely still there. Apart from all the obvious stuff, like feeling much more attached to the characters already and picking up more details, I think the biggest change was a complete lack of patience for the teen romance drama lol. There was a decent period where I was feeling quite frustrated with it. Not that I loved it the first time round, but back then I had a very different view of how it fit into the story. I saw it as teaching Fitz a depressing lesson of what it really means to be a royal bastard and a king’s man. Fitz’s literal need (for all he knows he would have been killed if not for his deal with Shrewd) and sense of duty to put his loyalty to his king and country first creates a relationship that is toxic, turbulent and built on lies. And teenage horniness masquerading as love. I saw all that the first time and thought it was just something he had to go through. Now I know it’s something he never really goes through but rather grips onto, romanticises and ultimately goes back to. I know the point of that is meant to be that he finally gets to have something for himself, but why it had to be Molly specifically??? I have very few qualms with Robin’s writing choices overall, but why she chose to write their relationship this way if they really are meant to be is beyond me, especially when so many of her other romances are written so well - it feels like it can’t possibly be unintentional. For most of this book they’re either fighting or fucking and honey! That ain’t love! Hell, Fitz all but sees her as just another demand on his time as the book goes on. But he can’t let her go because she’s the one thing he can point to that makes him feel normal. Not happy, not cherished, not safe. Normal. She’s simply a refuge from his real life. He literally says to Chade “I need her.” I find that so telling, man. It’s not really about her, which is a shame because Molly is great. They’re just really not good for each other.

So yeah. It’s just kind of trying to read all the Fitz/Molly stuff when you know and don’t like what it ultimately culminates in. At the same time… Bee… So I will always be conflicted lol. I just can’t separate the events of Royal Assassin from the furious disappointment I felt when I finished Fool’s Fate. Perhaps I’ll have a new Fool’s Fate experience this time that will make the next re-read a bit easier in regards to Fitz and Molly? But I won’t bet on it lol.

Anyway. It’s not as if I haven’t already said just about everything there possibly is to say about Fitz and Molly yet I also feel like I could go on about it forever. Luckily this is kind of as bad as it gets in terms of how much “screen time” they actually get (apart from Fool’s Assassin maybe? But they don’t bother me too much in that) so yay! I made it! And hopefully it’ll be a good few books before y’all have to endure my ranting about it again :)) Also hopefully this doesn’t give the impression that this read was more bad than good? It was mostly just a particular angsty chunk before they properly get together that was a bit of a slog to get through, but overall I really loved reading this book again and got a lot out of it.

Something you can’t believe you forgot

That Molly punches Fitz in the face hard enough that he bleeds and that Fitz fully intended to punch the Fool for asking if Molly was preggo before seeing he had already been beaten. I pretend I do not see it.

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

Omfg I was just about to say “huh we didn’t really get any major character intros in this book” bitch Nighteyes???? But in my defence I just. Cannot process the fact that Nighteyes is only really in 3 of 16 books he just feels omnipresent to me BUT his introduction is most definitely iconique and god I love him and he made me cry eight thousand times!

Favourite character arcs

Speaking of Nighteyes: what a glow up. He goes from angry, scared, untrusting little bb to……. Nighteyes. Like. How does one even describe the kind of person Nighteyes becomes. He’s just Nighteyes and I love him with all my fuckin heart!! He is Fitz’s constant… He is wise… He is silly… a comedic genius…… a big, open, unconditional heart. Incomparable. I can’t believe I’ve seen ppl saying they dislike/d Nighteyes……. Honey…… it’s called taste xx

Favourite quote/s

Again no tabs so it’s a bit harder to keep track but there were a few that stuck out enough to copy down. There are a lot of iconic quotes in this book that get shared a lot so I only bothered with ones I didn’t remember.

- “I wince to think of the price willingly paid for loving me.”

- “My soft, clean bed beckoned, like a soft, clean tomorrow.” (mood)

- “I looked and saw they were both made of hungers, like containers made of emptiness.”

Favourite relationships

Kettricken/Verity obviously. I was shocked by how little time they actually have together being in love before Verity leaves??? Because all I remembered was how strong their love is. But the whole journey towards that love is what makes it stand out as an actual compelling story in its own right. This is definitely one of Robin’s greatest skills as a writer; giving the minor characters depth by giving them their own relationships that grow and change and have a life of their own outside of Fitz. It makes the world feel so much more alive.

Also Burrich/Fitz in this book continues to be bittersweet, but with a lot more sweet in there than usual! They fully start out this book as a team. Burrich calling Fitz “FitzChivalry” makes me fuckin emo and idk why even. Burrich does seem to start seeing Fitz a lot more as his own person in this book which changes their dynamic in some rly nice ways. The fact that towards the end of the book Burrich even uses the wit to help Fitz is enough to make me cry tbh - and writing this has made me realise that I’m officially past any uncomplicated good times between Burrich and Fitz y’all mind if I fuckin die real quick!!

Fitz/Verity is soy pure and beautiful. Fitz and the Fool is always, always compelling and complex and tender and perfectly mysterious. But overall you’d have to say Fitz/Nighteyes, hey? They are literally meant to be, in a way so straightforward and undeniable and beautifully simple that I never really know what to say about it. Little brother!!! :’) They literally make me cry all the frickin time lol rip!

Favourite setting

There aren’t that many to choose from in this book! Ima go with the skill river bc hey, Robin’s magic systems are so unique and beautiful and the fact that the skill is written as a kind of a place is really frickin cool and deserves a shoutout.

Favourite chapter

The final chapter (not the epilogue) ummm broke my heart but it is written so beautifully, oh my god, it’s like an out of body experience. I feel like this is kind of when RotE becomes RotE - the first time it really goes to that place that is so fitting yet so unexpected, so beautiful, so tragic, so awful, so visceral. Making use of the genre to really test the limits of humanity; to see how far you can bend a person without breaking them and then refusing to turn away from the consequences. Idk man!! I don’t know how to describe it without sounding like a pretentious dick but it really is that intense and strange and overwhelming for me. There is something in that moment, when Burrich pulls Fitz’s body out of the earth and Fitz/Nighteyes is recoiling from it and deeply terrified… Something about the enormity of the existential questions raised converging with the pinpoint specificity of it all being wrapped up in the story of a character that feels so real and who you care about so deeply… It’s almost written like a horror scene, but that’s not quite the feeling. It’s just the RotE feeling; there are multiple throughout all five series, and it’s what makes these books unlike any other.

Most loved character

Fitz, Nighteyes, the Fool all had my entire heart this book. The Fool is just so sad and pathetic and literally must be protected!! I think I’m kind of obsessed with Burrich? Also I think I almost forgot how much I love Kettricken? She’s a complete badass of course but she’s also got the biggest goddamn heart like…. Who said she was allowed to be such a beautiful person???

But god, everyone. I love them all.

Most hated character

What can I say? Regal is disgostang. Wall Ass a close second.

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

Shall I list just a few? :)

- Burrich screaming at Fitz through the bars of his jail cell, horrible things you can’t help but feel are at least a little bit true

- Burrich sobbing over Fitz’s dead body repeating, “You aren’t dead, you aren’t dead.”

- Fitz going to Nighteyes before everything went down on the night of the coronation and just fuckin hugging him really tight

- Fitz trying desperately to leave his broken vessel behind but not quite being able to disown his body

- The Fool being beaten

- The Fool being beaten again

- The Fool sprawled and weeping across Shrewd’s dead body

- The Fool really believing for a moment that Fitz had betrayed him and killed Shrewd

- Fitz tending the Fool’s wounds………. bitch….

- Chade giving Fitz a chance to escape with them and Fitz going to kill Serene and Justin instead

- Idk why this is even that sad but Nighteyes saying the only person he loves is Fitz!

- The entire incident with the forged ones literally tearing apart a three year old girl, which I had completely blocked out until now :)

- The fact that Fitz continues to be reminded and traumatised by this incident for the remainder of the book beCAUSE HE IS A GOOD BOY. A VERY GOOD BOY WITH A VERY GOOD HEART.

- Fitz repelling at Nighteyes to try and force their bond broken

- LITTLE BROTHER

- WOLVES HAVE NO KINGS

- High off his face Fitz calling Patience “mother” no shut the fuck up!!!!

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

- I’ve been trying for ages to decipher when the Fool started falling for Fitz, and I think I’m officially putting my money on their last interaction in AA. “I wish I had a place that was as much me as that place is you.” I mean. If someone said that to me… I’m not a slut but who knows, ya know? (I know this is more a note for the last book but I thought of it while reading this book. So shh.)

- It’s so clear to see this time how much Fitz’s sense of self and politics are affected by his time in the Mountains. He obviously feels much more inclined to their way of thinking about royalty and sacrifice and equality and returns to Buckkeep with a self-respect he’s never really had before. Weird how being among people who don’t just think of you as The Bastard will do that.

- It’s no wonder Fitz becomes so fixated on Molly; he literally has almost nothing else to occupy him and no companionship when she suddenly shows up

- It’s gross that he spies on her, obviously, but you can’t not take into account the fact that Chade has been teaching him since he was ten that this is justifiable behaviour; a reasonable way to gather information and get what you want. Fitz’s lack of social awareness goes further than him just being a little awkward; he has literally been trained to believe the only thing wrong with stalking would be getting caught.

- I’ve seen a few people talk about the fact that Regal isn’t appropriately punished as if it’s bad writing and like, while it is frustrating, it is supposed to be frustrating - it is not a plot hole. It made sense to me the first time I read it and it was even more obvious this time; Regal has the loyalty of the inland duchies. If he were to be publicly punished those dukes would rally behind him and raise hell, and Regal would no longer need to play the part of the dutiful prince. Even if Regal died a “natural” death - something I can’t see Shrewd or Verity orchestrating anyway - the inland dukes would feel that they no longer have a Farseer on their side and may, again, raise hell. It’s a delicate balance that would be outrageously difficult not to topple if you removed Regal from the equation. There is a lot more to it than I’ll bother writing here but yeah. I don’t really know how people can read this book and think that Regal retaining his life and position is some sort of lazy plot contrivance. It was all set up in the first book dude.

- Fitz and Nighteyes meeting in this book is the perfect metaphor for our need for connection versus the fear of inevitable loss. Fitz’s experience tells him that entering into a bond with an animal can only end in pain, yet he can’t resist it. In real life this is especially true with humans and our animal companions, since they almost always have a shorter lifespan than us; signing up to love them is signing up to lose them. But the same is also true of our relationships with other humans. And like Fitz, we have all had our fair share of loss and pain. We all have our reasons to be afraid of the connection we naturally crave. Sometimes we give in to the fear to the point of holding ourselves back from it entirely. That’s where Fitz is at when he meets Nighteyes. But what’s so beautiful about their arc as a metaphor is that it suggests that these connections, if we submit to them, are what keep our vital spark alive. Even when Nighteyes dies later in the series, the sentiment always remains, essentially, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” Ya boi is projecting bc it’s hard to be vulnerable and make friends as an adult, but I think the observation stands. Love and connection and vulnerability are key threads that run throughout all of Fitz’s story, but in this book it is best represented through him and Nighteyes.

- “I hoped I would not become too adept at lying to myself.” Honey, you got a big storm comin.

- Very inch resting (gay) that Fitz finds it hard to meet the Fool’s eyes. I know almost everyone does bc his eyes are weird, but I reserve the right to reach and I will absolutely NOT be accepting criticism.

- I find it interesting that Fitz says Kettricken’s wit is not strong just because she doesn’t use it exactly the way he does

- I know it’s not meant to be funny but……. The way Fitz described losing his virginity had me literally laughing out loud

- Fitz was really like “okay i better go break my bond with Nighteyes” just cos he and Molly fucked. Teenagers don’t deserve rights.

- You know what? I really, really appreciate how fucking weird these books are lol. What other author would use their magic system to have their characters accidentally intruding on each other’s awkward sex stuff? Okay, maybe a few, but they would do it to be like, edgy and sexy. Robin Hobb just does it to make you cringe so hard you lose several years off of your life.

- But seriously, even apart from the cringe stuff, these books get so strange and out there and like! That’s what magic is for! 

- Bruh. When Fitz is like “omg poor Verity…. He’ll never have what i have with Molly” I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone encapsulate the self-important delusion of teen romance so perfectly lol. Wow.

- Okay some Fitz/Fool stuff that made me lose my tiny mind. Sorry.

- Fitz literally said about the Fool “he burned too brightly” I WILL DIE.

- Fitz is always like, irritated by the Fool… yet positively delighted by his presence at the same time…… okay bitch

- Inch resting how Fitz has always been uncomfortable with the Fool getting serious. I don’t quite know how to put my thoughts on this into words so like. I’ll just put it there. Make of it what you will.

- “Sit on my clothes chest and take your shirt off…” i stopped fucking breathing noah fence

- “I ran my fingers lightly down the line of his jaw, and around his eye socket. At least no bone seemed damaged. ‘Who did this to you?’ I asked him.” my GOD this is literally textbook gay/romance. It hurts me. It physically hurts me.

- Straight from my notes: “I can’t even focus on reading this bc it’s the first time they are tending each other’s wounds and I am a homosexual!” and “the gays are quaking!! (it’s me I’m the gays)

- Okay wow! I think that’s it! Hello if you made it this far! Hope this was remotely coherent and I’m always keen to hear your thoughts on my thoughts :)

Anyone doing a reread feel free to fill this out! You don’t have to use the tag :)

[nolongerapileofashprobably]

I think about Zelink in each game and I seriously give Nintendo props for creating a compelling dynamic between the two no matter if it’s purely platonic or has romantic undertones or is just blantantly spelled out as soulmates.

OoT Zelink has romantic undertones. Don’t even try to argue with me if ya feel differently. It isn’t spelled out plainly enough that we could say it’s practically canon, but it does have that bond between them that’s undeniable.

In the game, you can literally go back into the castle as Young Link and show Zelda the different masks Link acquires through the side quests. And the entire idea of Link sneaking pst all those guards to show Zelda some mask is hilarious and adorable.

After the time jump, Sheik then accompanies Link and it’s 10000% obvious that he’s fascinated with them. Link wants to spend as much time with Sheik as he possibly can. Water Temple aftermath scene anyone? That made it obvious (for me) that OoT Zelink are soulmates, because it’s their souls pulling them together and creating this attraction. Gender has no say. (It’s also makes Link 10000% bi in this game since Sheik is considered a “guy” to everyone else and I live for this headcanon). No matter who they’re disguised as, the chemistry and attraction is THERE. Plus, in Kakariko when they’re attacked by the Shadow. Staying by the others side. Trying to protect each other. Please let me live.

And the final battle. Oh this poor bby. He sticks his arm out to protect her. He’s so loyal to this girl. He found out she was this person guiding him the entire time and she’s separated from him as soon as she reveals her identity. Foolishly banging on a crystal to free her? Desperate boy wanting to save the girl he cares so much about. Link’s entire life ends up revolving around Zelda in this game. She is the one person he truly truly cares about on a deep level.

I love Malon and all, but I never saw the connection. I’ve always headcanoned the idea that Link comes back from MM’s events and goes straight to Zelda and legitimately just grows up in Castle Town under Zelda’s orders and is trained for the Guard and eventually becomes the head of the entire Hyrulian Army. I also headcanon that OoT Zelink both die young, but not before they have a child who is then given to their trusted friend Malon to raise. (I know it’s a dark headcanon but hey I think it makes sense)

Twilight Princess, on the other hand, gives off much more platonic vibes. Partly because Zelda is barely in this game. I do love Midlink in this game too, but as an endgame, nope. The thing about Twilight Princess Zelink is that it could POSSIBLY happen after the game’s events. But during the actual gameplay? This Zelda and Link play their respective roles to ultimately defeat Ganon. It’s more professional.

People can debate about this one, with Link’s attention whenever Zelda is in the room being solely on her and all, but I see that more as a ranch hand meeting royalty for the first time and being awed by the regal and natural beauty she exudes. I have said that I can see them happening through a friends with benefits type of situation, but only after.

In game, the story pretty much implied that Ilia is the love interest and not Midna or Zelda. Tbh, I didn’t love her character but I knew for a fact that Link did so I went with it. But I’m replaying the game now and BOYYY it seriously points to Ilia and Link being an item. And it makes perfect sense too. But after everything, I’d see Link sticking around Zelda more because she at least understands. But again, in game and from the canon events, Zelink is more platonic than anything.

Skyward Sword is completely platonic. Idk how y’all got “soulmates” from this Zelda and Link, I mean-

Yeah no do I even have to talk about how this game is blatantly romantic? Its not even UNDERTONES like it’s full out “I’m doing this to save the girl that I love”. They’re literal soulmates and started the kingdom of Hyrule and I couldn’t be MORE PROUD! The first Zelda and Link happen to be in love and they managed to get cursed so in every incarnation they’re bound to meet each other and I think that’s beautiful (despite the angry third wheel that reincarnates with them). But otherwise, this game is legit a love story between Link and Zelda with a bit of action and adventure sprinkled in. Good quality and excellent eyeliner.

Breath of the Fucking Wild people. I know I already did romantic undertones but would I be me if I DIDNT go on a little rant about the beauty of this Zelink??? Didn’t think so. It’s also not even undertones. It’s also not blatantly romantic. It’s heavily implied.

So, you get the hate to love trope, the princess and her knight trope, AND the amnesia trope. All three in this very special pair. The memories play these two very well. The actual story to the game may have been a bit underwhelming, but Zelink’s story is MASSIVE. The memories show us a very complex Zelda, a mute Link who is loyal to a fault, and an epic love story between the two. This isn’t even a theory. It’s actually canon. (Thank you Kass, ily bby)

Now Link’s perspective isn’t fully fleshed out, but that’s the thing. It’s not supposed to be. But what we do get is a few pieces of information that makes you go “oh so he does have feelings for Zelda”. First being the Journal Entries. He wants to save Zelda ASAP so he can see her smile. He wonders if she will be pleased with how far he’s come. He is determined to save her after gaining all his memories of their relationship back. This Link only truly remembers Zelda. The Champion’s have some place in his mind, but he doesn’t remember like like he remembers Zelda.

Second being the little moments in the memories, like him staying by Zelda’s side in the castle to just hang out with her, listening to her ramble on about science things, being Extra Asf when the ground shakes and he immediately goes to make sure Zelda doesn’t stumble, turning around when Zelda begins to doubt herself, sheathing his sword despite being chased by murder bots. It’s just all those little things that makes you THINK.

Third being the flowers. The symbolism. It’s all too real and I won’t even get STARTED on how Nintendo gave us a canon ship name for BotW Zelink and we had the audacity to IGNORE IT!!!

Fourth being the fact that they practically debunk Miphlink after giving it the potential to become official. Stay with me. They painted Mipha as the typical childhood friend that falls in love with the protagonist. Except, I can say with certainty that it’s 1000% one sided. In the game, Link goes to Zora’s Domain as a kid and Mipha heals kid Link’s wounds because she a kind and gentle soul. There’s nothing romantic about that given the fact Mipha writes about it before she writes about the feelings she develops.

When Link goes back, she writes about how he looks past her, doesn’t open up to her, but still remains the kind soul she knows him to be. This in and of itself tells us that Link has no feelings for her whatsoever. He’s a knight and he does his best to protect whoever is in need. But he doesn’t truly reconnect with Mipha as a teenager because he remains closed off and in her diary, Mipha confirms the fact that he doesnt give her the same attention that she gives him. She makes the Zora Armor, yeah, but she didn’t present it to Link AND she prayed to Ruto. Ruto being the Zora that fell for Link but that relationship never happened because Link didn’t have feelings for her whatsoever. That in and of itself gives the impression that this relationship is also one sided. The thing that always stood out to me was how Mipha never presented the Zora Armor and how she realized Link and Zelda would grow closer because all the time they had was spent with each other. My theory is that Mipha saw Link and how he seemed a bit less weighed down. And it hit her that the Zelda is also more carefree at this point. And she puts two and two together and realizes that Link and Zelda have opened up to each other and gotten much closer as a result. Hence, why she didn’t give him the Zora Armor since she saw where Link’s heart truly lies. That’s just my own personal idea and theory on her not giving him the armor, so don’t judge lol.

But BoTW Zelink is so COMPLEX and is heavily implied to be canon after the events that I cannot wait to see how the sequel treats their relationship. It’s definitely going to be fun to watch and play.

OKAY SO MY POINT WAS

Nintendo provided all thes unique takes on two characters yet never gave them a toxic relationship, but always one where they can rely on the other when they needed to. And I think that’s beautiful.

*please take note that these are more of my personal opinions and how I view the relationships which may differ from others but that’s okay since LoZ is supposed to be a franchise where you are Link and so whatever you love, he loves. I’m just a slut for Zelink 🤷🏻‍♀️

[naysaltysalmon]

Shoutout to @tiburme for tagging me~!

Rules: Name 10 favorite characters from 10 different things and then tag 10 people.

Oh, massive spoilers below btw.

1. Gon Freecss from Hunter x Hunter: My favorite shounen protagonist by far. At first you think he’s your typical happy-go-lucky bouncy boye :D who definitely doesn’t have abandonment issues or self-destructive tendencies that literally actually almost kill him later on, and then, uwu... The amount of complexity that Gon has as a protagonist who hardly ever has stand-alone development is nothing short of astounding. How during the Chimera Ant Art his characterization totally dips off to the side to become an unknowable entity even to the audience, while still retaining amazing character development regardless -- not to mention how brilliantly daring his decision to threaten Komugi is that nearly every other author with such a happy-go-lucky protagonist would shy away from in cowardice -- is absolutely surreal to me. The more I think and write about Gon, the more I fall in love with him. If I ever meet his father, and by that I mean his real father, the creator, Togashi, I have nothing else to say but,,, well done, sir.

2. Tanjirou Kamado from Demon Slayer: I’m really hoping the Demon Slayer movie comes out soon because I absolutely love this boy and how charming he is. Unlike most protagonists, not just of shounen anime but of seemingly macho story lines that involve power-ups and training in general, Tanjirou never lets go of his kind heart. (Welp, except maybe in some cases when he’s facing the Upper Moons later on -- I haven’t caught up yet -- but WE’RE GONNA IGNORE THAT for now.) From the beginning, Tanjirou’s kindness isn’t an obstacle holding back his power, though other characters pose it that way, but rather he cultivates his empathy to grant peace to the demons he faces. He smiles in the face of anyone who treats him poorly because of his cluelessness, and that’s just so heartwarming to see, and dare I say subversive to the hardened, calculating, and cocky male protagonists we so often get. Good job, Gotouge.

3. Joseph Joestar from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Giorno Giovanna was a close second, but I gotta go with Joseph. He’s the one who made me fall in love with the series, and with the later parts too. Unlike Jonathan Joestar, who was chivalrous and manly, Joseph was a riot: colorful, arrogant, funny, but also extremely clever. I absolutely loved his, “Next you’ll say...!” because at first I expected it to just be him being an overconfident asshole and eventually he’d be proven wrong at the ~Dai Pinchi Moment~ (please excuse my weeb speech, I legit didn’t know what else to call it), but then he hit the mark every time and eventually I was just waiting for when he’d pull that out and it was so hype. Also I surely can’t forget his transformation as an old dude in Part 3 -- him screaming “OOHHHH MY GAAAWDDDA!” and “HOLY SHIIIT!” murdered me every time. And of course, last but not least, the raw fucking emotion when Caeser died -- the dude actually gave a shit and wasn’t made entirely of wit and absurdity, but heart too. Joseph set the tone for what JJBA was as a whole for me (fuck off with that “but Part 3/Part 4 is the best Part” bullshit, Part 2 will always be top tier for me because of Joseph Joestar’s brilliant, bright, and beautiful absurdity -- but Part 5 was really good too). Araki really is a genius.

4. Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess: My love for this series is a bit older than the series I’ve already mentioned, and TLoZ: TP was actually probably the first time I got seriously obsessed with a fandom. I love all the Links in their own ways, but Twilight Princess really drove home the “lone wolf chosen by the gods, fighting against the world” narrative for me. It made me feel important and strong at a time when no one cared about me. Seeing Link struggle silently through his quest with villagers who meant well but did nothing for him, and Midna who started out as a reluctant acquaintance and eventually became so much more, meant so much to me at the time I played the game. I will always love Twilight Princess the most because of what it did for me at one of the darkest times in my life, and because I felt completely and utterly immersed in every part of the story and gameplay through Link’s character, who was, and in many ways, still is, so relatable to me: Silent courage really is what I use to get through every day.

5. Greedling from Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood): For once I’m not naming the protagonist of a series! Lissen, I still smile whenever I see the slightest reference to Edward Elric, but now he’s more of my childhood love. He’s just a part of my personality already? LOL. Anyway, FMA(B) has so many good characters that choosing just one doesn’t feel right (I mean, same with HxH tho). I say Greedling because that encompasses both Ling and Greed though, two of my favorite characters from the series! Ling’s apparent childishness in constantly running away from fights, making other people pay for his food, and failing to grasp the seriousness of the situation (until Lan Fan’s arm gets cut off lol oops) is so adorable and entertaining. He’s the best kind of idiot asshole, and I especially love how he teases Ed. After him and Greed fuse, Ling’s stout heart becomes even more apparent, as he constantly eggs Greed on to remember his past life, his friends, and become someone outside of Father/the Dwarf in the Flask. Conversely, Greed’s nonchalance and (of course) avarice are nothing short of entertaining and heartbreaking. Greed’s realization at the end, when he finally admitted to himself that what he wanted all along were “friends like these,” completely crushed me the first few times I watched FMAB. And when he’s screaming in the tunnels under Central after having killed Bido, remembering his friends, and he doesn’t understand why, and later attacks Wrath/King Bradley... that shit was so entertaining and cathartic to watch. None of his development feels like forced redemption, nor like it was too little development, since it mostly happens in the background and away from the “validating eyes” of the protagonists other than Ling. And at the end, when Ling and Greed work together to take down Bradley and all the soldiers invading Central HQ... it’s so beautiful. Many have said this before but I’ll say it again: Hiromu Arakawa wrote the perfect series.

6. Ciel Phantomhive from Black Butler: Another protagonist! And another older obsession of mine. Ciel remains in my mind to this day mainly for his heartlessness in relation to his age, and the fluidity with which Toboso tells his story. Normally when authors write younger characters into their serious stories, they make “child adults” of sorts, but Ciel feels totally realistic to the extent that he is both childish and adult to me. Obviously, Ciel is responsible and (normally) level-headed due to being the head of the Phantomhive household, but also from trauma. Yet, his cruelty at times is what sticks in my mind the most: You really feel that he’s someone who feels he’s been abandoned by the entire world, given his experiences, and that makes him disregard or use others sometimes in order to reach his own ends. Normally, authors would be too cowardly to let their protagonists, let alone child protagonists, go to such lengths to avenge their family, or carry out their duty as the dog of the military (looking at you, Arakawa -- she’s still a goddess tho). But Ciel is unforgiving. He lies to Snake and tells him his troupe is still alive. He murders the entire troupe because he’s triggered -- a childish decision, but driven with adult-like power due to trauma. It’s devastatingly riveting, and I cannot forget his unrelenting, contained rage to this day.

7. Ahsoka Tano from Star Wars: The Clone Wars: This one may come as a shock to most of you, because I hardly ever post Star Wars let alone Ahsoka content on here -- but it’s true. Other than the blatant, half-assedly inserted heteroromantic partner they gave Ahsoka in, like, idk season 3??, Ahsoka is a fucking goddess. From her origin as a wee baby in the earlier seasons who didn’t really know what she was doing and was a bit of a cocky brat, to how she matures and becomes wise, resourceful, and fierce in the later seasons, I just love Ahsoka’s design and character to this day. The episodes that stick in my mind aside from the obvious are when she’s possessed by the Dark Side of the Force on that Force balance planet and her arrogance becomes so exaggerated that she threatens and attacks Anakin, her teacher. It was so fucking cathartic. Normally female characters, let alone young protagonist female characters, are never allowed to show the ugly sides of themselves in fiction, since women are always portrayed as perfect beautiful majestic angels or some bullshit like that. (Or they’re cocky/sexy/slutty villain women. ‘Kay then.) Seeing Ahsoka devolve into her basal desires and come out of it like hardly anything happened and she’s still a perfectly valid character was so amazing to see on a meta level; it wasn’t about her learning a lesson or anything, it was a thing that happened like any other character and then they moved the fuck on. I also distinctly remember the episode where she was trapped on that island/planet and she had to take out the aliens that were after her all by herself. That was so fucking empowering to watch and god fucking dammit I need to rewatch this series now. And of course, let us not forget the fact that the entire time, we were all expecting Ahsoka to just be another domino in Anakin’s downfall -- and she was, but not through the refrigerator -- but through walking away from it all. That was so powerful and moving -- and heartbreaking. By the end of TCW, her character carried weight and agency in the narrative, and god, I only wish whoever wrote her could write more female characters in the future.

8. Tigress from Kung Fu Panda: Maybe another surprise, but I think she deserves this spot. Tigress is a female character who starts out as kind of an antagonist, given how she outright tells Po to leave the kung fu temple within the first day of him arriving. She’s even jealous of the fact that he’s chosen as the Dragon Warrior rather than her -- but that’s due to the backwash of years of trying to live up to the memory of Tai Lung in order to please Shifu (which means “master” in Chinese but ok I’ll shut up now), her master and mentor over the years. She never says this out loud in the movie, which is what makes her character more believable. Others even joke about how stoic she is (and not in bad taste). Her character development is definitely present for those who are looking -- but I put her on this list because I’m so happy the movie doesn’t make it some huge dramatic emotional thing, because so often in media women are depicted as being overly-emotional and here Tigress is just a hurt child trying to make her mentor happy. But, she gets over it, her and Po become allies, even friends to each other -- she and Po talk like equals in the second and third movies, and she even tells him to back out of the fight with Lord Shen and he listens (I mean he doesn’t stay put but he doesn’t undermine her opinion either lol, like most jokesy protagonists of Western media would -- looking at you, Marvel). I like Tigress because she’s an antagonist without being a bitch, she’s powerful without being overpowered, and she’s not sexualized despite being a well-trained, at times jealous, and even emotionally awkward kung fu master. And I almost forgot to mention the best part: There is never an indication of romance between her and Po, or any other character, for that matter. She’s perfectly capable, complex, and lovely on her own terms. And that’s that on THAT.

9. Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit: I wanted to include at least one character protagonist from a live-action movie/book, lol. I feel like Bilbo’s pretty self-explanatory. He doesn’t wanna go on an adventure because he likes his doilies and warm sheets, but then Gandalf seduces him with the call to the outside world and possible death (LOL), and he fucking goes for it, grumbling the entire time. Isn’t that what any of us would do if given such a proposition? I like to think so. Bilbo obviously has his own gradual, evil transformation with the One Ring, becomes murderous and uses it to disappear, and grows a strong bromance with the King Under the Mountain (which happens in both the movie and the book), but I think what I like about him is that he really feels... down-to-earth? Like even though the adventure changes him, it never feels like he’s been stretched in a way that makes his core character traits of grumbling and bluntness disappear. He gets better at the whole adventuring thing, for sure, but he remains Bilbo, at least, to me, throughout the journey. It was heartwrenching watching him try to save Thorin in The Battle of Five Armies, honestly, but Bilbo’s the kind of character that I feel like has his own story and mythology aside from The Hobbit, and maybe that’s just the result of J.R.R. Tolkien writing the lore for every aspect of his universe, but My Point Still Stands. He feels like his own man apart from the series he’s in, yet he’s still so much fun in his series.

10. Barley Lightfoot from Onward: And last, this one is because I saw Onward yesterday and was pleasantly surprised by the characterization in it -- and anyone who thinks differently can kiss my *ss. :) I was not expecting the movie to take the twist of fleshing out the “annoying” (more like adorable) overconfident nerdy big brother. Normally those characters are swiped to the side because God Forbid The Comic Relief Have Any Sadness In Them. I was expecting the movie to focus on Ian’s journey to meet his fatha and that the movie would pull something stupid at the end like “oh actually there’s another phoenix gem underneath the school” or “actually since only his legs appeared then you still have 24 hours with him” or some shit like that, but I guess this isn’t an anime so those absurdist explanations wouldn’t hold water anyway. But still, for a kid’s movie, I was NOT expecting this movie to go so hard with the characterization. For once, the main character doesn’t get what he wants at the end, and instead realizes it’s his big brother, Barley, who’s been looking out for him his entire life. Meeting his dad would betray that reality. What happens instead is that the lovable big brother never actually said goodbye to their dad before he died, because when their dad got sick, said brother ran away from the hospital room in fear of all the life-sustaining equipment. (Is this some meta thing about Chris Pratt and Guardians of the Galaxy? Off topic and call me stupid, but I didn’t realize Chris Pratt plays him until I saw everyone freaking out about it afterward on Tumblr laksjdflak.) So instead, the lovable big brother talks to the dad at the end, and unconfident younger brother grows confidence and thanks big bro for being with him his entire life. It was so touching, dude. I cry. But the moment that sticks in my mind the most was when Ian was crossing the invisible bridge... Ian needed to have confidence in himself to be able to cross over a chasm in their path, and Barley knew that if Ian didn’t believe in himself, he would fall and die. They tie a rope around Ian for good measure, and Barley encourages him the entire way, but halfway over, the rope comes loose and slips off. Barley sees this and starts panicking, but of course continues to encourage Ian so that Ian will get to the other side. What got to me wasn’t the fact that he faked it for Ian, but that there are actual tears running down his face as he’s encouraging Ian to get to the other side, because he knows otherwise Ian wouldn’t have the confidence and would fall to his death. Like dude, that raw, complex emotion in a kid’s movie?! DUDE?! I was fucking surprised. The clear anxiety and grief in Barley’s face as Ian’s totally clueless and even dancing around in the air was just too much, omfg. Of course, then it’s played off for laughs, but... I guess that makes sense for the annoying overconfident nerdy big bro character. :’)

Okay these are way longer than I anticipated and I’m sorry, but also I’m really not. Hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on my favs!

Seems I don’t talk to that many people on here anymore: @stupidbluejay @mirycactusito @chronicstarlight