#idk there has gotta be a middle ground between 20 minute lunch no breaks 6 hours of class a day 2-4 hours after school studying

[vamptastic]

college HAS been better for my adhd in some ways in that it's a little more self-paced, especially in online classes, but in a lot of ways it is also much harder because you have about the same amount of work as high school, more if you didn't do all the bullshit i did in high school or are further into your degree, and way less structure and support. like, as difficult as being at school from 8am to 3pm was in some ways, not have any externally enforced study time does indeed suck. the schedule public high schools have in this country is awful, but im not really capable of enforcing a better schedule for myself even if i can easily conceptualize one. also, there's a lot of groupwork, which i hate and suck at, especially when i don't know anybody. also, essays. so many essays.

that being said it IS much easier for me to basically go through a textbook on my own at my own pace with supplementary lecture and discussion than to be forced to go at somebody else's pace while still having to read the same material at a slow and inconsistent rate. it's just that that technique only works for certain subjects and math is something that by and large has to be taught (at least for me) which is most of what im taking right now.

honestly the real kicker is just being fully 100% accountable for my own time and not having any kind of immediate, external consequence for missing classes or assignments. it's actually so fucking dumb that public school in this country enforces total structure over the vast majority of teenager's time and then they're dumped into the adult world and expected to manage their own schedule. i feel like ppl will either follow the horrible grueling schedule school enforced or just be a mess.