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neonovember · 2 years ago

Note

hiiii

could you write carmy x reader where she’s a high school friend and carmy always had a crush on her (but he thought she had a crush on mikey) ???? like maybe richie brings her up, and that she’s still in town and SINGLE and carmy gets red like a tomato and ??? richie makes her visit the beef and candy almost has a heart attack?? idk give me some in love carmen !!

pretty pleaseee and thank u

so I got this request and I immediately thought of swim by chase atlantic, and specifically the line that goes;

“I’ve been drowning for a minute, your body keeps pulling me in”

And holy shit if that isn’t Carmen in his denial-in-love with a long time friend era, I don't know what is. Carmen tries too hard to forget you, but you've marked permanently, you've ruined him for anyone else so can you blame him for waiting for you all this time?

Seriously though this request was so good! I got a bit carried away and turned into a 2 part series that may or may not have drabbles added to the universe…I really hope this isn't just a load of word vomit you don't want to read lmao. I just love their dynamic so much, and also FRIDAY DINNERS AT THE BEEF IS CANON OKAY.

Golden Boy

part one of 2

warnings: miscommunication (i know i'm sorry), friends to lovers, carmen and the reader have horrible communication skills and don't know how to call, angst, anxiety

a/n: part two will be up hopefully tomorrow so look out! it may or may not include a smut scene 😈

p.s, listen to swim whilst reading this you'll thank me later

You sat hunched in the tight enclosure of the classroom desk chairs, the once loud conversations fluttering across the huddled groups of classmates and friends that stood against tables and chairs now coming to a standstill.

The air of anxious trepidation falls across the atmosphere of the damp classroom, the windows that had been opened to let the air in felt thin as you and the rest of the students you had known for half a decade waited for that familiar ring of the bell.

The bell that would solidify your last day in this classroom, in these run down halls, in the school you had first stumbled into anxious and oblivious at thirteen.

Your heart ached at the nostalgia of it, and you can't bear to cast your gaze to your friends who had begun to sniffle, like they were holding back tears, the grandfather clock your geography teacher insisted on keeping ticked on as it always did, and whilst you had spent years burning holes through the glass, willing for it to go faster, your one dying wish is for the seconds to tick by in minutes.

You weren’t ready, it ran straight through you, all this time leading up, from when you had first learnt your desire to pursue architecture till the moment you finished that last sentence on your final exams, you felt you would be filled with joy at the sound of your true departure into adulthood and college.

And yet, you felt like a kid again, learning how to ride a bicycle without the training wheels, trying to reach the fifth monkey bar, falling headfirst into the dirt ground of the field when you had thought you were more flexible then you truly were.

You didn’t want to leave, you didn't want to leave this place, this place of memories and friends and people you knew and loved. And it was as if God was listening, cause the resounding echo of the school bell rang through the halls and it was as if he said ‘fuck you anyway’.

You gather the haphazard books and papers laying across your desk, you had purposefully delayed packing in order to waste as much time in this memory as possible, before adulthood would take it away and make it something of the past. You hear your friends calling your name, and you tell them to go ahead as you make your way to your teachers desk.

“Hey Mr Jefferson” You say to your teacher has begun to bid goodbye to the leaving students

Your teacher looks up at you with a tight smile, sadness washes over the wrinkles and creases of her features, her auburn hair falling in short waves at her shoulder and her olive lipstick wearing down. You have to swallow to stop the tears from dropping. Your Geography teacher, whilst not teaching Art, had been the catapult to realizing your fascination with Architecture and design. She had even helped tell your parents, who had been set on the idea of you going into Law or Medicine or anything other than creative arts.

“You’ll do amazing, I believe it because I see how hard you try. Don’t look back at this place, leave with the door wide open and come back only when you want to design me a house” Your Teacher replies with a grin, and before you can reply shes shuffling through her drawers, before pulling out a sketchbook that has been aged and stained with use over the years.

“What’s this?” You ask, twisting the book in your hand, it was good quality, despite being old, it felt like an heirloom.

“It’s one of my sketchbooks I had during college, maybe some of my late night sketches fuelled by coffee and donuts might inspire you”

“I couldn't possible-”

“Yes you could, hell whatever you create will probably be 10 x greater than whatever is in there” Your teacher cuts you off with a chuckle, and you hug the notebook tight against your chest before hugging her goodbye.

You step into the familiar walls of your high school hallways, crowds of seniors running to find their friends and hug them for possibly the last time, test papers and report cards left trampled on the ground, it's chaos, but you love it and the sight almost pulls tears down your waterline.

You walk towards your locker, before you recognize the familiar wisps of blond curls catch your eyesight. Carmen. You considered him one of your closest friends, bonding together over a love of game** and your equal hatred of your Period 4 Calculus teacher.

Carmen didn't have much when I came to be friends, and after he met you, it didn't really get to him anymore, he had you now, and you were more than enough. Over the years you had gotten close to every part of Carmen's life, Mickey, Richie, Sugar, they were all people you regarded as family.

But there was something unsaid between the both of you, it was like there was something beyond friendship, but the embers had just gathered and had left unignited.

He’s gathering his things from his locker, shoving them into a bag in that messy way he is, and he slams the locker with a jolt.

You're standing stationary in the middle of the hallway, classmates and other seniors running by you in confusion, your friends calling your name annoyed, but it's all muffled, it all doesn't matter because it's Carm and god your heart aches so bad.

You see Carmen and he sees you, stopping a few meters away from you, and a moment of recognition washes over him as he gazes with those cerulean blues. There's grief in the way you look at each other, tears streaming down your cheek as you try to smile at him, realising this might be the last time you see him, forever, off to an Art school in New York, leaving him behind. You feel like your heart is being ripped from your chest and he shakes his head, his eyebrows scrunching up as he steps closer so that he’s only a whisper from you.

He brings his hand up, brushing a strand and tucking in behind your ear, eyes strained as he wipes your tears away painfully. He moves closer, so that his breath is against your neck and whispers

“Thought you told me you'd punch me in the stomach if I cried on the last day” Carmen whispers into your eyes with a grin that breaks through the tears that cause his eyes to swirl in colour's of waves.

His words make you laugh and cry at the same time, and you shake your head as you reach for his arm, and playfully hit your stomach with it. Carmen rests it against your waist, looking up to you in a pained expression, his eyes shift to the notebook grasped tight in your hands

“New sketchbook? That..doesn't look new” Carmen says, turning his head to examine the old book more closely.

“One of Mrs Jefferson’s, her sketches are..their fucking amazing” You sigh, running your hand across the folded spine of the sketch book.

“Thought teachers weren't meant to have favourites” Carmen shoots out, a playful grin on his lips

“Hmm, well they aren't supposed to tell you exactly” You banter with a giggle, you flick through the pages of the book, half drawn sketches in grey lead and ballpoint, Carmen tracing his fingers gently across the ingrained lines and shades.

“God you're something, you know that?” Carmen says, all of a sudden, and when you look up you realise he’s been staring at you the entire time.

“Bear..” You breathe out.

“I don't know how I'm going to-, I, it's all so much” You exhale, waving your arms around this place that has held so many memories, so much of your past kept in the creaks and cracks of plastered walls and lockers

“You're the only person in this goddamn place that's going to make something out of themselves, I bet my entire life on it Bug. You're going to do amazing, in that big city, you’re going to show em’' Carmen replies, grasping you against his touch tight. You look up at him, trying to memorise every dip and curve of his features, the curl of his hair that shone honey in the sun, those eyes that were always searching, and the small cut on his forehead where he fell off his skateboard that one summer evening.

“Don’t say goodbye”

“Okay” Your tongue feels like deadweight in your mouth. what if i never see you again?

“You say goodbye and it's the end. Just..don’t” I can't breathe carmy.

You can’t stop yourself from wrapping your arms around him, pressing your nose into his shirt to smell the scent of patchouli and cigarettes he always carried, you want to tell him to come with you, to pack an overnight bag and run with you forever, but the words don’t taste right when you try to speak and you see yourself letting him go, and turning away with a shaky step.

Turn back Carmen whispers, so softly that only the gods above and the wind around him can hear it

You feel an urge to turn back, it speaks to you from within, and before you can stop yourself, your neck cranes, turning your body to get one last look at your golden boy before time would take him forever.

Time would age him into a memory forever.

Carmen feels this tension leave his shoulders at the same time his heart shatters, you will find each other again, even if it was in another universe, where you're sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, going over groceries together with the afternoon light casting its glow across you. He will find you, he will find you and he won’t let go this time.

“Honestly Ma, it’s fine, I’ll get the movers to come in a little early”. You groan into the phone pressed to your ear, papers and unresolved bills are left scattered across your dining room table and you have this itch that's begun to turn chronic somewhere you can’t reach.

You take a moment to look around your apartment, now barren of furniture, and filled instead with boxes of badly organised stuff you've accumulated over the years. This place, albeit small, had been your home ever since you stepped out of the yellow cabbed taxi on your first day in New York, and whilst it wasn't pretty, you felt a pang of guilt leaving it all behind. These walls had seen you through it all, the late night study cram’s, the breakdowns, the accomplishments, the one night stands. You'd miss her, but maybe you were just a nostalgic person.

You’ve made a life in New York, but you felt misplaced, like pieces of yourselves were scattered across the states. Chicago kept a part of you, and it was only when you had gotten the chance to move back home, did it click. You missed your city. And you had cut your lease and emptied out the last of your savings without a second thought.

Now all that was left was tying up loose ends and making the trip down. It was funny, in a way. You had run to New York to pursue architecture, and it brought you back to the very same place you had left, there was a certain trepidation when you thought of Chicago, it held so much of your past, in its city streets and evergreen trees, and you don’t know if you were quite ready to face those memories again.

It still smelled the same. You itch your nose, sniffling against the blooming scent of cocoa and caramel from the Chicago roads, all this time, and all that you can tell is how it still smelt like maple leaves and chocolate. It was comforting, and it felt like the warm embrace of a childhood friend that had stayed sitting on the corner of your suburban street corner all this time.

“Thank you Mae, really, I got the call last minute in New York to come back here and if it weren't for you, I’d be moving back into my old bedroom at my parents” You reply, gratitude filling every word. It was true, your friend had swooped in the second you called, fixing you up with a lease and an apartment with her realtor links. She came in a clutch, and she had made you promise to never leave her again in exchange.

“Oh shush doll, of course. This is probably payment for all the times I’ve crashed at yours anyway” Mae winks, the bracelets on her wrist clinking against each other. She didn't look like a typical realtor, more like a bohemian solo-traveller with her filly skirts and auburn red hair.

“I’m not going to let a degree transform my entire wardrobe, my clothes are antiques, their heirlooms, they tell a story”

She had told you once, one late night on the rooftop of your New York apartment, sipping cheap wine and passing a blunt between you both. You wish you had known yourself as much as she did then.

She had visited you a couple times in New York, coming up for work and spending the time at yours instead of spending thousands on an Airbnb, but it had been a while since you've seen her, and all of a sudden you remember how much you missed her laugh.

“I’ve got some time to spend before it’s all hand on deck” You reply, placing the last of your boxes onto the empty wooden floor of the living room.

“Oh yeah? Can’t believe you’re gonna design a whole building on Michigan Av’, your a fucking inspiration Bug” Mae sighs in adoration, and you giggle, the feeling of embarrassment filling you at the mention of your reason back home.

You never got used to the praise and adoration you received over the years, despite your many accolades and awards, you still felt like that hopelessly broke architect student giving up lunch to pay rent. You didn’t remember when things started to change. When did things start to change?

“You know, if you’ve got time, you should check out the Farmers Market near River North” Mae replies, whilst flicking through her phone

“The one on Division Street?” You reply, you had a faint memory of the long strip of stalls filled with fresh produce, food and the rest of the little trinkets that were sold since you were born on the pleated table cloth of sheltered booths.

“That’s the one, this guy named Samson? Makes the best fucking bearclaw in the entire United States. Tell him you're a friend of mine and he'll hook you up��you know since you can't afford it” Mae replies playfully, and you roll your eyes with a laugh.

“Yeah yeah, you hook up with him or something?” You poke back, Mae had the tendency to know everyone in Chicago, from the mailman to the old woman you’d see feeding the bids on a park bench.

“Yeah, actually I did. Not like you could relate, how long has it been, hm?” Mae replies, stepping forward to whisper down at your pants.

“I’m so sorry she hasn't been taking care of you. What are you, mummify her?” Mae looks up from her crouched position with a raised eyebrow.

“Ugh, you know I've been too busy to think about that. She’s gonna have to be patient” You reply, you don’t want to think about how long it has actually been, since you've had any type of release. But the tension has begun to weigh on your shoulders as time went on and you fear it might become something you can’t ignore.

You begin to move some boxes into your bedroom, thanks to your planning your large furniture such as your bed and coach, had been moved into the apartment before the rest of the things had got here, so at least you wouldn't be sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Changing into a pair of dark jeans and a short sleeve top, you loop an embroidered handbag onto your shoulder.

“So, you coming?” You call to Mae, who’s begun to fill your fridge with the groceries she's swung by with.

“Sure would Bug, but got a call to come in. I’ll come by again later this evening though?” Mae replies, with a grunt as she lifts the 2 litre bottle of milk onto one of the drive shelves.

“Yes please, I’m dying for a glass of wine”

“And a blunt” Mae replies, snickering at the way you roll your eyes at her.

Mae offers to drop you off, but you wave her off, telling her you wanted to see a little more of your hometown. You needed some fresh air that wasn't the coffee and smoke scent of the New York streets.

The walk to the Farmers market was a short one, but you felt like you were wading through a current. By the way the memories of your past began to resurface as you passed the streets and shops. Every corner holds a part of you, and you have to rush by your old school to stop the pang of pain that surprises you. You weren't an emotional person, but god it was almost as if you were hanging by a thread the second you touched down on Chicago.

What was causing this? You felt like you were holding your breath as you stepped through the fallen autumn leaves marking the sidewalk, the gentle sun on your back, what were you waiting for?

You tear yourself from your thoughts momentarily when you catch the looming buildings that had been built on ions ago, the infrastructure of Chicago still enamoured you, in a way that couldn't be beaten by even New York’s impossible skyscrapers.

There was a charm to it, each of the buildings felt like you were stepping into a different decade, they had been the stepping stones to a lot of the infrastructure and architecture that spread into other cities. You felt like you were at the start of it all every time your eyes trailed across the facade and arcades of the century old stone buildings.

Without realising, you had finally made it to the Farmers Market, the constant stream of people coming in and out with boxes of produce or hauling wooden antiques with very audible grunts. You can’t stop the smile stretching your face as you step through the embroidered banner at the front of the street.

Despite the many different stalls and food around you, you don't feel overstimulated. This was your home, you felt like you belonged, like a name scratched into wet cement, remaining ingrained for years no matter the seasons that came.

You go over the haphazard list of things you wanted to look for in your mind, but you're caught off guard by a stall that seemed to be huddled by patrons. You step towards it, and as people move aside you see the blooming flowers and carefully wrapped banquets in woven wooden baskets to the side of the stall. A short woman with light brown curls is standing at the front, taking down orders with a grin, whilst a rather tall man behind her makes quick work to wrap delicate orders into soft brown parchment paper tied with string.

And all of a sudden the need to buy pink tulips becomes your first priority. The woman at the front looks familiar, but you can't quite put your finger on where you've seen her, but as you walk up to the front her face morphs into familiar as she looks up at you in surprise.

“As I live and breathe” She says your name with a screech and it's her voice that pulls her name to your mouth. Adeline, a close friend from senior year who’d taught you how to crochet and pick a lock.

“Bug? How've you been? What brings you back to town?” Ade replies after telling the man behind her your order without you even saying a thing.

“Tulips, pink ones right?” Ade grins, and you have to let out a chuckle at how you haven't changed even a little.

“Got invited to join in designing a new building on Michigan Avenue, so I'll be back for a while-”

“Michigan Avenue? Holy shit Bug! You’re making moves, knew you always were special” Adeline replies with a gushing smile and you rush to reply with the same adoration

“Are you kidding, look at this line” You motion to the increasing line of people forming at Adeline's stall.

“People love their flowers” Adeline replies with a shrug before you shake your head vehemently

“No, they love your flowers, and for good reason, look at these” You gush, pressing your face into the bundle of tulips that had been handed to you.

“They only look that good because Henry's so good at wrapping them” Adeline replies with a laugh, her eyes flicking to the brown haired man dressed in corduroy behind her. A look passes between them that tells you there was more than love between them.

“Henry huh?” You reply with a grin, and the man is quick to introduce himself, and you don’t ignore the cold press of an encrusted band on his ring finger as he shakes your hand with a soft smile.

And it's as if Adeline reads your mind and she slips her left hand in yours, looking up at you with a teary grin.

“Yes, yes I know, I should've called, and I’m so sorry-”

You press yourself against her, leaning over the stall to wrap your arms around her. You whisper words of congratulation, shutting down any words that hinted at you being mad at her.

It wasn't her fault, it should be you she's mad at, you hadn’t really made that much of an effort to keep in contact with your friends back at home, and the reality of it weighed on you heavy now, you had missed so many milestones of your loved ones, all to chase your own dreams in New York.

You felt like you were constantly playing catch up, and you couldn't lie when a strange feeling crept up at the thought of your friends moving on with life. You were so incredibly happy for Adeline, and you were even more elated when she had told you of the Wedding in April that you had to come to.

But that didn't stop that same strange feeling of being behind everyone else, you had spent so long climbing the ladder to wear what you wear now, relationships and love weren't even a thought, you filled your nights with studying and drawing and the occasional fling, but nothing more. And now doubts had begun to creep in, had you missed out?

Watching everyone around you get married and have kids whilst you were still drawing buildings in that same sketchbook your teacher had given you 8 years ago. You’re not looking as you walk past the many stalls of the Farmers market, and it is your thoughts again that causes you to accidentally stumble into the hard muscle of a man back. You feel yourself falling, before arm's reach out, grabbing you quickly to stop you from ending flat on your face.

You breath out a sigh of relief, shaking a head at your clumsiness

“God, ‘m so sorry, I’ve just been in my head, I wasn’t looking where i was going-”

“Holy fuck” Your quick to spit an apologetic thanks, you haven't even looked up to see who you've dubbed into, and when the sound of surprise meets your ease you look up, only to be remain stone faced with your mouth left open.

“Richie?” You say, the shock of it is still in the air. You hadn't expected to see him in Chicago, or maybe you did and it was sooner than you thought.

“When did you get back? Holy shit, thought we wouldn't see you again” Richie replies with a smile

“Yeah uh, came down for some work for a little while. How, uh How are things” You reply with a squeak, you can’t bear to say what you're thinking and Richie nods, a look of acknowledgement in his face. Mickey’s death had shaken you, it had changed you in its own way, and you still grief him, it still hurts when Richie's face kinda falls and melts at the reminder of his best friend's death.

“After, uh, after Mickey, he had left the restaurant, you know, the Beef?” You nod in agreement, the hazy memory of the sandwich shop on the corner of Chicago's, busiest streets, you stomach rumbles at the thought of one of those sandwiches you'd down in less than a minute during your high school years.

“Yeah well, get this, he left it to Carmen. And honestly, I was hesitant at first, real hesitant, I love him, but god, he's a self centred ass coming in like he knew everything, spewing the bullshit CDC shit he learnt up in the big apple? He changed things, and you know how I feel about change, but he made it better, I can;t lie, and you better not tell him this, but the Beef actually..” Richie’s familiar rambles are muffled to your ears, the only thing you can hear is Carmen.

Everything zones out as you scrunch your eyebrows, wincing almost, at the pain and it shocks you, it shocks you how the very name of him still brings back those memories. You still hurt the same way you did the day you left him.

You must have looked out of it, as Richie shakes your shoulder, anchoring you back to the present, and you have to swallow back the bite of pain that bleeds through your chest.

“Did you hear what I said? The Beef’s holding a little family dinner tomorrow, shutting down the shop early, inviting only friends and family, it’ll be like a little reunion for you! You have to come” Richie replies, and you nod trying to seem present.

Carmen took over the Beef? He was in New York? What?

Your mind is scattered with the uproar of questions you have, the thought of Carmen, the memory of him is like a fresh wound. It un tethered and opens up a thread of thoughts and emotions you had thought you bottled up and threw deep into the ocean.

“You, you still talk to him right? Ya’ll were pretty close growing up, like fucking thieves attached to the hip if i can remember” Richie chuckles, fondly remembering the two of you.

You cough back, smiling up at him as you trying to reply coherently

“Yeah, uh sometimes you know” You lie

No. You haven't spoken to him since you left, and it feels like your tongue falls dead when you try to say his name again. You hadn't called and he hadn't picked up. Carmen told you not to say goodbye, but the truth was it had been the end of you even before you had both realised.

You had spent years pretending like Carmen not calling you, not making an effort to see you after everything didn’t burn, but the reality of it had marked you in a way that felt eternal.

“So you're coming, yeah? You and Carmen can finally catch up” Richie replies with a smile, and look of something passes through his eyes before it leaves, and you have to smile back with a nod, like you and Carmen were still close, like you don't feel that he might turn you away or scream at you the second he saw you, like you weren't both irrevocably in love with each other.

Bear. You missed him, you are shocked by how much you do, you thought bottling up your memories and emotions about him and stuffing them so far back into your mind you forgot would actually change anything. There had always been this lingering thought, at the recesses of your mind, the last thing you imagined before you fell asleep, the feeling that filled you the second you came back to Chicago, it was all Carmen, it was all your golden boy.

And now you would have to see him, in less than a day you would be in the same room as Carmen Berzatto, you don't want to say it, you don't want to speak it into acknowledgement but deep down, you wanted to see him again.

Beyond it all, you both were bonded in friendship, sharing something you didn't even have with Adeline or Mae, and you had felt like a part of yourself was missing each day that went passed without hearing from him. Had he forgotten you? Had it been as hard for him to go on with life? He had been in New York for christ sake, he didn't even think to visit you, that thought alone made you want to run back home and never come out.

You couldn't bare the possibility of exposing yourself to such heartache, to the chance of being rejected by the very person who you forever longed for. You were always searching for him, looking through crowds to see the familiar curl of his brown hair, or the scent he carried, ears always leaning in, trying to see if it would catch his syrupy baritone voice.

The two of you were forever connected, like the roots of trees spanning miles under the Earth. The kind of companionship that transcended time and space, and god did you want to feel the sharp edge of his jaw between your hands.

You couldn't stop it now, Richie had opened something you kept locked and sunk for a reason, and now it felt like you would break if you didn't see Carmen. Even if it would break you, even if it was the one thing in this world that would destroy you,

You had to see your golden boy.

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littlemochabunni · 1 year ago

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1-800-TROUBLE

Serial Killer!Suguru Geto x Bimbo!Fem reader

Content: MDNI, WIP, (lowkey... probably highkey..) bimbo reader, blood and homicide mention, fuckboys victims;

smut might include: daddy kink, breeding kink, degrading + praise, c-pies, possibly knife play idk yet.

WC: 644 so far

On your way home from a party you take a few wrong turns, and when you try to call your…. Overprotective boyfriend your phone dies before you get the chance to tell him the cross streets you’re at. With it being late on Halloween night, most of the house porch lights are off your feet continue to carry you down this foreign neighborhood until you hope to see someone could help you. Tear begin to sting your eyes with each street corner you turn, and the nip fall air strips you of any warmth from your cropped puffer jacket Suguru made you wear before you left. You definitely wish you listened when he warned you repeatedly to charge your phone too…

Police sirens are blaring in the far distance from where you originally started which means only one thing… “One of the officers can take me home!” Right…

Trying to follow the sounds to guide you out of the maze of houses you’re lost in. You find a group of men sitting in an open garage, drinking with the tv on in the background. **Although you know Suguru told you not to talk to strangers especially when they’re drunk, what other people were around that could possibly help you?**

“Excuse me? Hi, I’m like super lost…Can I borrow your phone or a charger please?” Every one of their eyes graze over your body before meeting your eyes, and of course the man that looks like the embodiment of a Chad speaks up first, “ooo a sweet bunny girl like you all alone? Need me to come warm you up?” You glance around the garage spotting the space heater near the couch he’s sitting on and a bright smile appears on your face. “It would be nice to get out of the cold while I charge my phone!” You happily skipping inside the garage to sit near the heater and immediately feel so much better now that your off your feet… Little did you know that with this little interaction…. you won’t be back on your feet anytime soon.

All eyes are on you and your like a innocent hare unaware of the foxes preying in the tall grass.

“So you gotta a name sweetheart?” Asked the store-brand version of Derek Shepherd. “Uhh I’m a bunny, duhh?” The men all blink at you before bursting out in a fit of laughter. You don’t understand how that was hilarious, but you’ll take it as a compliment. “Funny and cute… But seriously what’s your real name?”

Hearing that emergency number Suguru always tells you to remember if your lost coming from the braking news announcement about some house party incident. You focus on the tv and ignore ‘Chad’s’ questions, “Hey can you turn the tv up? I think I know that number.” The extra quiet man, who remains you of your friends creepy uncle Lester, turns up the tv and it retells the gruesome murders of the house party that just occurred half an hour ago….

“The next image we show may disturb some viewers…”

Grumbles and tsk scatter among the men around you as they get a glance at the gruesome writings on the wall. You squint your eyes as you notice a simpler stamp Suguru uses when he writes you love letters…. Your stomach drops at the thought of someone using that beautiful stamp for something so… horrifying.

“This message along with a description of the women and the phone number were left at the scene of the crime…” The woman proceeds to describe you from the hair on your head to the holographic boots you’re wearing. The men in the garage are too drunk to realize that you’re exactly what the killers wants, “Please if anyone has any information regarding this women… please call: 1 (800) 876-8253… That’s 1-800-……TROUBLE… Again that number is 1-800-876-8253…”

a/n:Might not be the entire planned posted I wanted but it’s some of it…. it still counts right?🥹

tags: @etherealxmaya @tojisbutterfly @fuyuaika @peachy-dove @hoshigray @bontensbabygirl @tophamhat-kyo @princess-of-fuckup @moonieper @dondake-senpai

#/��͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ~♡ 𝓜𝓞𝓒𝓗𝓐’𝓢 𝓢𝓤𝓒𝓗 𝓐 𝓕𝓡𝓔𝓐𝓚❕#suguru geto x reader #getou suguru x reader #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru #geto x reader #jjk geto #geto x you #jujutsu geto #geto x y/n #jjk suguru #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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ddarker-dreams · 1 year ago

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Nexus II.

Yandere Blade x F Reader.

Warnings: Descriptions of Blade's body regeneration ability, Blade is just kinda weird idk, some spoilers for his backstory. Word count: 6k.

Nexus index.

The LOTUS-EATER’s maximum capacity tops out at 124. This number takes current fire codes and oxygen generator parameters into account. There are eight Arbiters — including yourself — and fifteen other employees who work The Club floor on rotation. Additionally, some automatons assist with carrying refreshments to clients. Lucky for you, those fellas aren’t on the payroll.

The other twenty-two are, though.

Nona swings her legs back and forth while sitting on the main bar’s countertop, humming a song from an underground band she likes. She’s sent you a link to their discography enough times that you recognize the URL immediately and know not to tap on it.

“Hey, mom, dad, we’re on the news. ‘IPC Places Eris Under Temporary Travel Ban While Investigating Claims of Fraud’. Why didn’t anyone tell me we were doing fraud? Was I not invited to the group chat?” Nona hums.

You glance up from your account book, sigh, then glance back down.

Meanwhile, Lear carries a hefty wooden crate from the back and places it on the floor. The sound of muffled glass clinking together can be heard, along with liquid sloshing.

“You shouldn’t make jokes like that,” he frowns. He shoos her off the counter with a wet rag, to which she takes refuge behind you. He rolls his eyes at her shenanigans, ties up his sandy hair, then gets to cleaning. “People could get the wrong idea. It’d tarnish [First]’s reputation.”

Snickering, she replies, “And casually referring to Our-Lord-And-Savior-The-Exalted-One by her first name wouldn’t?”

He bristles. “You…!”

On instinct, he winds up his arm, wielding the now dirty rag as his ammunition. He pauses when Nona points at you. Seeing that there’s no way to hit his target without you joining the casualties, he huffs, and returns to shining glasses, using excessive force this time.

Nona sticks her tongue out at him. After celebrating her victory, she situates herself on a nearby barstool, stretching her arms out beside your workspace like a content cat preparing to nap.

“You’ve been staring at that silly book forever,” she notes, exasperation coloring her tone. “I know you aren’t reading it, either. Your eyes give you away. So, what’s up?”

You shuffle in your seat. This line of questioning was inevitable as the four moons that hang everlasting in the sky, taking in everything as impartial observers. During instances like this, you envy the marvelous masses, how they can exist peacefully without living. No one asks the moon troubling questions. Or, if they do, they have more pressing issues at hand than their spoken query.

“It’s nothing,” you dismiss.

She blows a tuft of hair from her face. “Hey, Lear.”

“Mm?”

“Did you hear that?”

“Well, yes, I’m only standing a few feet away.”

“Right, right. Let me ask a trickier question then, since that one was obviously way too easy for someone of your intellect. Do you believe her?”

“I…” he swallows thickly. “... Yes?”

Nona throws her arms up. “Gah! I’m surrounded by liars who can’t lie. That’s almost worse than liars who can lie— blegh, hey, did you actually throw a rag at me?”

The rag in question slides down the side of her head and hits the ground with a sad squelch.

“I’ll do it again too. You shouldn’t bother [First]—” Lear abruptly cuts himself off at the last syllable of your name, “The exalted one when she’s trying to concentrate.”

You raise your head and frown. “Lear, I told you. Call me by my name when it’s just us. It feels wrong if you don’t.”

“Seriously? That’s what gets your attention?” Nona laments.

You both elect to ignore her.

“I know, I know. It’s just… what if he comes back?”

Silence descends and clings to the three of you like the suffocating scent of smoke. It’s there again, the uncomfortable, skin-prickling sensation of eyes sticking to you. Amber and sapphire coalesce into one, unspoken plea, forming a disconcerting shade. Nona’s visage betrays nothing, whereas Lear’s concern would be obvious from galaxies away.

You square your shoulders and try to make yourself appear as decisive as you need to sound. “I’ll know when he’s back. He’ll text so I can let him in.”

The two exchange knowing looks. It’s Nona who tries her luck.

“That’s reassuring and all, but, I think the question Lear wanted to ask is why that man’s here in the first place.”

Magenta eyes, rosy iris’, words that drip like venom-coated honey.

When you asked how you should explain Blade’s presence to your staff, she told you she’d hate to abuse her authority, and that you’re free to decide those specifics yourself. You would’ve preferred some guidance or hint at her expectations in such a pivotal situation. It’s easier to avoid a landmine if you know how to best watch your step. The uncharacteristic lack of instructions goes on to birth unease.

“My answer hasn’t changed. He’s here to act as my bodyguard until some concerns are settled.”

Nona’s lips twist to the side. “You never wanted a bodyguard before.”

“I never needed one before.”

A glass shatters violently.

You and Nona snap your head toward the noise’s origin, finding Lear’s face wound tight in pain. You both jump the counter. The remains of crystal shards are strewn across the floor, catching and refracting light. Watching your step, you make your way over to Lear, who is muttering expletives under his breath.

No, that isn’t right, you realize. His lips aren’t moving.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he tries waving off Nona, who is inspecting the hand that held the glass, “Just an accident, s’all.”

The private tumult boiling in his head threatens to overflow, stating loud and clear thoughts no one other than himself should be privy to. You grimace and focus on blocking the intrusive voice out. It’s so resounding, so sharp, that snippets penetrate through and spill their scathing secrets.

‘My fault — should’ve killed — now she’s — because of me…!’

Block it out, block it out, block it out, you chant the mantra incessantly.

Lear’s psyche wishes to illuminate itself to you in its entirety. The spotlights turn on one by one, focusing intently on the visible portion of the stage that any audience member can see. The overlapping beams penetrate the stage’s back curtain, revealing the silhouettes of the backstage crew.

You don’t want to witness these delicate inner workings. It isn’t for your eyes, his thoughts aren’t for your ears. Sins committed in days past grant you a front-row seat and sew your eyes wide open. You haven’t attended this theater in some time, so it brought the show to you.

It requires great effort to struggle against the needle and thread that wants to practice its stitches on you. This pain that feels like your skull is being crushed beneath an anchor could ease away if you were a good audience member who sat still and mute. You resist subservience at the cost of yourself. Eventually, the lights dim. The stage’s back curtain turns opaque. The actors shift their shouts into a normal speaking volume, a whisper, then finally, stop orating altogether.

Your mind’s dictation is decided by you — the ink of Lear’s thoughts expunged.

You’re aware of your physical surroundings again.

Presently, you’re crouching down on the floor. You move your foot back to maintain balance, and there’s a crunch, warning you to tread carefully. You inhale and exhale shakily. At this sign of lucidity, Nona and Lear crowd over you, repeating your name on a loop. You check twice to ensure their mouths are indeed moving and you aren’t hearing what you shouldn’t. Once you dispel your fears, relief embraces you.

This paroxysm has run its course.

Nona’s shoulders slump. “It’s okay, it’s over. She fixed it.”

They both hold their breath until you nod in agreement.

Lear extends his hand to help stand you up, to which Nona swats at it.

“No touching,” she reminds. Sternness doesn’t sound right in her cadence. He considers arguing, only to decide against it. His fingers twitch, go still, then recede.

You have to stand on your own strength.

Neither of them knows what to say in the immediate aftermath — it’s been so long that they’re out of practice. While they think over the best-sounding platitudes, you spare your phone a glance. Several messages mar the screen from an unknown sender. The most recent is time-stamped at five minutes ago.

You grumble a few choice words.

“Mr. Personality is back?” Nona asks.

“Yeah, I’ll handle it,” you close your account book and fold it under your arm. “You both should head home, it’s late. Just let Loopy take care of the glass shards.”

Nona gives a mock salute. After a moment’s consideration, Lear nods.

And so the three of you part ways.

Your fingers blindly grope at the expanse beneath your desk. Finally, you come in contact with a protrusion, then press it. Electricity thrums then turns hushes. For peace of mind, you glide your hand through the air. A holographic keyboard flickers into existence and responds to your vigorous keystrokes. The monitor reads that your noise-canceling software is up to date. It prevents sound waves from escaping a perimeter you’ve set. It’s installed in every room on the second floor, which includes the private rooms in The Lounge, your office, and the bedroom attached to said office.

Ever since Kafka started slinking around, the software’s uptime has increased exponentially.

Unlike Kafka, Blade doesn’t sit across from you or relax on the couch against the silver-colored wall. He stands by the door that leads to the hallway like a statue. He hasn’t so much as uttered a word to you since you let him in, not that you put in much effort to rouse conversation. It isn’t as childish as him ignoring you, either, you swear his eyes haven’t left you for a millisecond.

The keyboard and monitor dissipate at the flick of your wrist.

“I know I said I didn’t have anything major scheduled this week, but the IPC’s new policy changes things,” you start. Still no reaction. Frowning, you continue, “I’ll have to break the house arrest you’ve imposed.”

He doesn’t so much as blink. You thought a little provocation might earn you some material to work with, but you thought wrong.

“Who will be there?” Blade asks.

Instead of experiencing relief that he’s broken his vow of silence, tension coils its barbed limbs around you. It refuses to squeeze or apply any pressure. No, it intentionally denies you that, for it knows pain precedes understanding. A motive, an intention. Any degree of emotion is better than an unknowable void. Frustration, you can soothe, doubt, you can dispel, but total apathy? That’s a nightmare crossed into reality.

“The other two leaders of the quadrants and myself.”

At long last, there's a sign he is indeed a sentient lifeform and not the latest android model. A flash passes over his eyes. Suspicion or disbelief, perhaps.

“Shouldn’t there be four leaders, if the city’s divided into quadrants?”

“That’s a fair assumption. As far back as our records date, the southwestmost quadrant, Arc, has rejected the idea of having any fixed governance. They act however they see fit. It’s where that man who attacked me a few cycles back was sent to, since we look down on involuntary confinement.”

“The prison planet without prisons,” Blade’s wry wording belies his flat tone.

It’s always been a divisive topic, earning scorn and acclaim alike. You’ve had the misfortune of listening to clients regurgitate talking points that were made digestible by popular media, who started the cycle by devouring journal articles they read one paragraph of. They repeat what’s been said thousands of times with the bravado of the original theorist. Normally, you’d consider it more agreeable to bash your head against a wall than speak on the exhausted topic.

So why is it a kindling of intrigue burns by a Stellaron Hunter’s offhand comment?

“What’s this? The wanted criminal isn’t a proponent of prison abolition?”

“Every decision comes at a price,” he says. “Sins should be punished.”

You blink. Sins? Punishment? Is this a textbook case of cognitive dissonance, or another beast entirely?

“What do you consider a sin?”

“Anything that defies the natural order.”

“Such as…?”

The maelstrom that envelops him is potent enough for you to feel it breathing down your neck. Your body prickles all over.

“Defying death.”

“Not inflicting it?”

“No,” Blade’s response is immediate, straight from the heart. “Taking life is permissible. It’s accelerating the inevitable.”

This callous sentiment should chill you — maybe it would, if you heeded the alarm bells ringing in your mind — but fascination triumphs over any deterrent. This isn’t a creed one stumbles into by happenstance, it’s a burden made to order. His preoccupation with death is personal. A necessity.

“Show me what it’s like to die.”

Is this request self-flagellation or redemption?

If you’re ever to fulfill the Synalink you promised, you’ll need to dig deeper.

“There are ‘sins’ committed with altruistic intentions, though.”

“Hah,” he barks out a bitter laugh. “Those… those are the worst kind.”

This is a personal slight he’s grappling with. The shards scattered around him like stardust condense, though the sight they create remains out of focus. It doesn’t have to be a sharp picture for you to discern its immense stature.

Each person’s psyche is distinct in its manifestation. This image is a culmination of everything that defines them. Their core values, history, relationships, culture, ambitions both met and not fully realized; these colors leave an indelible imprint. In truth, this detailed representation is but a single dot amidst an ocean of stars. The mind of a sentient being must be vast if it is capable of ascending to an Aeon’s status. Still, you need something to work with, even if it doesn’t encompass the full scope. A pianist cannot play their instrument if there are no keys.

This scale, this sheer magnitude that towers higher the more you crane your neck up, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever encountered.

“... You’re going to give me a run for my money, Mr. 8.13 billion,” you murmur. “Your head looks like a warzone.”

He leans against the wall with a hmph.

“With all your impending problems, that’s what you choose to focus on?”

“I can multitask.”

“Can you?” He challenges. Sensing your confusion, he elaborates. “You look awful.”

Blade must be irresistible across all genders with that nuanced level of word crafting.

“I appreciate your candidness,” you deadpan.

He shakes his head at your sarcasm. “Don’t act obtuse. Your complexion’s off, your eyes are bloodshot… everything was fine when I left. Must have something to do with your earlier delay, I take it?”

You underestimated his acumen. This would explain why he’s been sizing you up since you opened the door. His sword proficiency isn’t the only threat you should be wary of. You know to be mindful of your presentation when Kafka’s skulking about, you didn’t think he’d need to be treated with a similar caution.

“It’s nothing serious, just your typical mental overexertion. There’s a lot on my plate, you said so yourself.”

“Hm.”

Whether he believes you or not, the conversation is left at that.

Transportation on Eris functions differently than what’s commonly found in other worlds.

Traditional gas-based motors aren’t favored due to the frigid climate. Instead, a gemstone mined in the Nectary by vetted groups is the preferred resource. It contains special thermodynamic properties that can emit immense power under the correct conditions. The gemstones have been altered and assembled in such a way that they function as a railroad for insulated cabins to travel from one station to another. These paths were nicknamed 'nectar guides’ or ’guides’ by the first engineers to embed them in the ground. This is in reference to how the eight main paths lead to Perianth II’s center, built above the Nectary.

The design serves a dual purpose — it optimizes travel and the heat radiating from the ground produces light. The accommodations have outworlders in mind. Your species, the Nymphalians, have long undergone enough natural selection to survive the hostile conditions fine enough. Your species’ eyesight excels in the dark and your physiology resists the cold. Aside from that, your body functions identical to any other humanoid species. The lone visible difference is a thin white ring around most Nymphalians’ iris’. You and Lear display this quality, Nona does not.

The cabin you sit in has a quaint design. There are plush, brown loveseats lining the wall, glowing orange lights in the arched ceiling, and light refreshments atop wooden table stands. It’s split into a common area and a bedroom suite. More enchanting than any ornate embellishment are the expansive windows. You only get to see your quadrant in person during these trips to Perianth II’s center and back.

“You warm enough?” You call over to Blade, who is bundled in extra layers of clothes and wearing an especially dour expression.

He doesn’t dignify your quip with a verbal reply.

This brief jaunt has earned his ire. For someone who’d likely prefer to be anywhere else, he’s taking this guard assignment quite seriously. He explained that taking this straightforward travel route begs for people with nefarious intent to come slithering out. You could see his point, but the matter isn’t up for dispute. Recent cyberattacks have called electronic communication into question. What you’ll be discussing with the others — Chrysus of Ade and Caicias of Mele — is highly sensitive information. The IPC catching any sliver of it could prove disastrous.

“You shouldn’t be by the windows,” Blade eventually says.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a major buzzkill?”

Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t respond.

With some reluctance, you pry yourself away from the glass granting access to the outside world.

“... Just a bit longer?” You try plucking a sympathetic cord he distinctly lacks.

“If you like it so much, why not experience it in the safety of your room where your head is a less visible target?”

“It isn’t possible to perform a Synalink on yourself.”

“Have an underling do it.”

The presumptions air to this suggestion eliminates any grace you may have extended.

“The only other Arbiter capable of performing Synalinks on me was my mother,” you say. “Note the past tense.”

You experience a phantasmal ripple with him as the epicenter. It’s the weakest emotion you’ve inadvertently picked up from him, so you assume it’s nothing of consequence.

“Passing blurs aren’t worth risking your life over.”

You rise to your feet.

“How do you know that?” You challenge, heat rushing to your cheeks. “These homes, these buildings, these streets… they’re either data on my screen or conveyed to me through someone who acts like they’re listing parts in a machine. I have to see it. I have to commit each ‘passing blur’ to memory. Otherwise…”

What have I sacrificed my freedom for?

Blade’s eyebrows furrow.

“Otherwise…” you shake your head. “Forget it.”

During the ensuing silence, your phone buzzes.

You had set it on do not disturb for the upcoming meeting. A few contacts were granted an exception, meaning that this message must be urgent if it went through. You swallow the lump growing in your throat. An exhausted part of yourself reasons that it can wait until the meeting’s conclusion. It wouldn’t do you any good to get worked up beforehand, would it? The message will still be there when it’s finished. Then you’ll be able to commit all your bandwidth to its contents. This reasoning is a tempting mistress cooing at you to come join her in bed. The momentary relief will be as sweet as the aftertaste is bitter.

Responsibility triumphs in the end. After inputting the necessary passcodes, a message four words long scrawls across your screen.

The product is ready.

A simple code had been devised between you and the alchemist entrusted with testing Kafka’s synthetic tonic. The product isn’t ready yet would mean the sly woman bluffed, or at the very least, exaggerated her 70% comparison claim. You’d gladly take either. She’s sewn deceit before, she’d have no trouble doing it again. In case the alternative was true, you prepared another code; the code you just received.

You reread it once. Twice, then thrice. You check if the message came from the right number. It did. You check again.

This frantic fixation consumes you to such a degree, you don’t register the cabin jerking aside. The delay from your reflexes throws your equilibrium off. Squeezing your eyes shut, you brace yourself for an unceremonious rendezvous with the floor. Your right side does come into contact with a hard surface, except it’s sooner than you anticipated. Warmer, too.

This heat is different from what’s produced inside the Nectary’s gemstones. It’s personal, containing the distinct thrum of life. There’s also an aroma. Slightly floral, mostly spices you don’t recognize. Then there’s this steady sound — consistent enough to put a metronome to shame. A slow thump, thump, thump.

“How have you survived this long, clumsy as you are?”

Blade isn’t speaking any louder than he normally would, but you can hear him better.

“Hey, I’m… not… clumsy…?”

It’s only when you open your eyes that you’re able to piece together your current predicament.

Blade’s steadying you by your shoulders and your cheek is pressing against his chest. You always knew he was tall, but having him tower over you this close gives you a new perspective. As does the fact he doesn’t immediately shove you off after breaking your fall. Your body goes stiff enough to rival rigor mortis.

“Accident prone, then.”

This swipe has you desperate to reaffirm your authority. “You should’ve just… let me fall then! Maybe I wanted to, what do you know!”

(It sounded better in your head).

“Are you positive you’re over a century old?”

An equally snarky rebuttal blooms on your tongue, only to immediately wither, turning to ash that coats the ground.

There’s the sound of a dying star, a dirge announcing the end.

What one hears before their name is reduced to an epitaph or an alphabetized list neatly organizing the recently deceased. It’s loud, then it isn’t. Hideous, then hypnotizing. Yellows and oranges and reds swirling in a serpentine motion that mocks you for thinking you ever conquered it. Civilizations can temporarily subdue it, bend it to their will, but it’s not ever truly theirs. The sovereignty of flame is a dynasty everlasting. It may rise, it may fall, but it can’t ever be truly extinguished.

You’re sent flying back with enough power that the air is forced from your lungs. It’s as if an Aeon’s hand had pushed your body aside, dragging you to the edge of the universe. You’re released from the scorching maw and into an icy nothingness.

The planet itself is frozen for a time.

There’s no strength in your body. Your system has been injected with pure, raw adrenaline, causing your limbs to shake and ignore your commands. Your ears are ringing and your eyesight is blurry. Tears cleanse the pollutants from your eyes. A dark swath covers your body, its weight hindering your feeble attempts to move. Determination alone wills you to emerge from this shadowy cocoon.

The ringing fades and all is quiet, save for the crackling of fire.

Then the screaming begins.

You try identifying the source. You think you may have found it, then it starts elsewhere, a different pitch, a different soul lot in lament. Bloodcurdling shrieks rise alongside the thick smoke. You’re being a stretch of buildings that loom imposingly, obsidian spires reaching up to the night sky. The masonry required to maintain their reign basks in the flames. The unusual surplus of light unveils its secrets, from the cracks in the stone to the faded graffiti bored kids left behind.

The ground is uneven, unlike the glossy pavement found in the entertainment district. This dull, grayish-blue soil with the consistency of fine powder exhibits the true nature of Eris’ untreated exterior. It’s cool to the touch and takes pleasure at the chance to stain your fine clothes.

Your wandering mind is brought back upon hearing a sputter nearby. You’re not sure where you are, what you’re doing, or why you’re doing it; but you remember you weren’t alone.

“Blade…” The name comes out as a croak. “Where…?”

You can’t call out to him, it’s like cotton has been stuffed down your esophagus.

There’s movement in the corner of your eye.

You make the mistake of trying to stand. Your arms might’ve begun to heed your commands, but your legs do not. The worst insurrectionists are your ankles. The instant you try putting any weight on them, they collapse as if you were a newborn doe. Recognizing this strategy’s incompetence, you drag yourself over to where you saw movement instead. The coarse ground rubs at and scratches your skin.

Upon closer inspection, your heart stops.

The dark swath — that’s Blade.

He’s in a far worse state than you. His entire backside has been scorched, displaying angry red blisters and split skin just barely hanging on. His right arm is bent in an awkward position, most certainly broken. Then there’s his left arm, or lack of it. Clumps of limp sinew hang where his arm should be joined to his shoulder joint. The force of the impact must’ve blown it off or eviscerated it entirely.

He’s lying on his side, facing away from you. A pool of blood forms beneath him, mixing with the soil. The coupling results in a sickly mauve that creeps and seeps inch by inch.

The fire… it’s coming from the guides, you realize. The cabin has been torn to pieces!

This begs the question: how are you alive?

You should be covered in burns at the very least. Some of your clothes got charred, you think a rib or two might be broken, but you’re living and breathing. There’s a gap in your memory where the previous events should be. You try recalling whatever you can, no matter how seemingly insignificant. You were moved aside as the roaring got louder, and then there was the sound of glass shattering, heat to cold…

Blade must have intervened. Did he use the few seconds before the fire caught up to break the window and toss you out? That can’t be right; you’d have glass entrenched in your skin and burns on whichever side faced the explosion. Surely, with his inhuman reflexes, he could’ve come out relatively unscathed.

Unless he chose to shield you.

You don’t think, you just act. First, by tearing the hem of your long skirt, then second, pressing it against the gaping wound where his shoulder abruptly ends. Gushes of crimson spill through your first makeshift bandage. You throw it aside, rip at your garments again, repeating the process in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding. A Stellaron Hunter must have a robust constitution, right? He was able to act faster than you could think. He can survive this — you just need to stop the bleeding until you can get help. Kafka has to have connections with advanced medical factions.

Tears stream down your face and you sniffle relentlessly. Your hands are caked in soot and blood, the scent of burnt skin and metal clings to your nostrils. Is he going to die? Is he already dead? You can’t bring yourself to check his pulse. How could he be willing to die for you in the short period of time you’ve known one another? He could’ve concocted any excuse for why he failed Kafka’s assignment, you’re certain he’s more indispensable to their cause than you are.

Blade stirs.

You think that it’s your imagination playing tricks on you. A cruel joke to remind you that you make your living off shaping reality for others, temporarily giving them what they want at the price of never truly having it.

Or so is your conviction until he moves again.

You’ve heard of muscles twitching after death to give the false impression of life. However, you’ve never witnessed the phenomenon yourself. Is this how it works? It isn’t sporadic, his right arm is sweeping over the ground, fingers flexing. Much to your astonishment, he pushes himself up with the arm that was contorted into a horrible shape a minute ago. The pain he’s experiencing must be excruciating and yet he merely grunts as he shifts into a sitting position.

“Stop moving,” you rasp out. With your most recent bandage in hand, you go to apply pressure to the left arm socket.

He responds to your fervent desperation in a low, gravelly voice.

“Don’t bother.”

Don’t bother? Is he in a coherent state of mind? If you don’t attend to his gushing wound, he’s at risk of bleeding out. You prepare to ignore his utterance when a strange sight freezes you in place.

A white structure emerges from his raw, mangled arm socket, descending like water pouring from a pitcher. It solidifies and takes the shape of a humerus. Once finished, it goes on to create the radius and ulna. Next are the carpals, metacarpals, then phalanges. Tendons join them together, fibrous muscles envelop the bones. Finally, in the blink of an eye, fresh layers of skin build atop one another in sheets. He clenches and unclenches his newly formed hand.

If defying death is a sin, he is laden in iniquity.

“What hurts?” Blade asks.

You’re too aghast to respond. His body just stitched itself back together without any medical treatment or esoteric healing techniques. Is it possible you’re hallucinating? Can a visual hallucination be this vivid?

He reaches out. Seconds prior to his hand coming into contact with your bare skin, you furiously shake your head, flailing backward and narrowingly avoiding him. His eyes bore down on you like molten magma. He retracts his hand after a drawn-out pause.

“If you can’t speak, point instead.”

Dazedly, you follow his instructions, focusing primarily on your ankles. They’ve swollen since you last checked. The flesh is tender and puffy.

“I’ll carry you,” he says. “Stay still.”

“Wait,” you manage to wheeze out. “This area… residential… have to help…!”

A coughing spell cuts your hoarse plea short.

“That explosion was meant for you. Whoever set it off will want to ensure their job’s success.”

Blade reaches out for you again. You duck to avoid his grasp, despite the pain throbbing in your chest cavity from the hasty movement. The adrenaline must be fading if your brain is doing inventory on the damage you’ve sustained, rather than focusing on survival. Hot waves test your resolution. You grit your teeth. If you make a show of your pain, he’s not going to change his decision.

He speaks your name in a low, warning tone.

Adamant in your refusal, you point to where the cries for help are the loudest.

“It’s not my priority,” he says.

He easily grabs you on his third try and you yelp. The sluggishness of his previous attempts must've been out of consideration for you. His right arm interlocks behind your knees while the left supports your back. You thrash to no avail, his grip remains ironclad. Your struggles amount to nothing but perspiration clinging to your skin and more aches.

The nearest medical unit to this street is at least thirty minutes away, now that the guides are out of order, you think. That isn’t fast enough…! Every second counts!

In your panic, a sacred vow made decades ago is desecrated.

You cup Blade’s face in your shaky hands and stare him straight in the eye.

The previously formed shards come into focus.

It’s monumental, this psyche you’ve barged into without permission. A violation of another’s autonomy. You know this, you condemn yourself for it, yet you press on nevertheless. The previously unknowable architecture that hulks over you is of Xianzhou design. It’s pieced together by bricks as infinite as the stars in the universe, though there is no magnificent shine, only matte stonework.

This structure… is it a garrison? You wonder. Was Blade a member of the… what’s the name of their military again… Cloud Knights?

You’ve had Cloud Knight clients before. Their psyches take the likeness of their favorite, scenic expanse on the Hexafleet, the area that they cared for enough to risk their life. The skies would be blue, clouds fluffy and prolific. A sense of duty and patriotism felt palpable. Occasionally, you’d be made privy to grief’s scent carried on a breeze, perhaps from a loved one’s passing or comrade’s untimely death in battle.

This is a riddle you need to solve swiftly. With a little tampering, you can form a link. It’s immoral, a blight to your personal code, but you’ll leverage enough influence for Blade to stay and help any survivors until help arrives. Whatever consequences arise can be dealt with later.

Even with the heightened mental sensitivity from making direct physical contact, this is proving a challenge. You can see his psyche but you can’t interact with it. It’s like running your hands through vapor. For you to successfully exert enough influence to change a decision he’s dead set on, you’ll need to go deeper. Inside this fortress sits the recesses of his mind, the bottom of an ocean you’re merely skimming the surface of. The intrusion’s necessity twists your gut as if your intenses were being kneaded.

Your incorporeal form flutters to the gates, standing solitary against a leaden backdrop.

The closer you get, you become increasingly aware of a malicious entity permeating behind the doors which strain to contain it. This is the same harrowing presence you felt when he protected you from Alister. Now that you’ve spent more time with Blade, you can discern its essence is different from his, although they’re forcibly intertwined like a rope. Blade emanates this unremittingly morose energy. It’s bleak, unconcentrated.

This substance oozes a need to satiate bottomless bloodlust. It wants to sink its teeth into flesh, lacerate muscles, and slice through bone. Mayhem and viscera are its highest raison d'être. There’s no sensibility, no reasoning with it, it acts in one way then shifts on a whim; chaos inside a splintering bottle.

How is Blade capable of functioning with this slumbering beast ready to wreak havoc at any second?

Steeling your resolve, you prepare to enter.

A seal halts your progress.

Impatience urges you to dispel it. Blade’s psyche is rejecting you, any further delays will give it ample opportunity to flush you out.

The kaleidoscopic seal thrums and wards off your efforts.

Someone put this here, you discern. It’s deliberate.

What perplexes you is that the seal prohibits entry yet does nothing to contain the miasma writhing behind it. Wouldn’t whoever created it intend to keep that salivating beast at bay? It’s well-crafted too, denying your every attempt to eliminate it. Kafka dabbles in mind-altering. Could she have left this here? You know what her aura feels like — calm, confident, cunning — this seal radiates none of her trademarks.

An invisible force hauls you back.

You took too long — Blade’s psyche is expelling the foreign invader.

You blink and you’re back in reality.

Blade is grimacing, the lines on his face highlighted by flickering flame. There’s a pallor to his complexion brought on by the aggressive expulsion his mind pulled off. An act such as that leeches off of one’s vitality. He takes a moment to recompose himself, as do you. Any subsequent attempts to form a link are going to be wrung from a desiccated source. You don’t know how many attempts you have left in you,

“A first offense, I could pardon,” Blade pants out, blood-red hues shining, “A recidivist like yourself, though… can’t go undisciplined.”

Your eyes widen. How did he know your intentions so quickly? You hadn’t so much as moved yet!

There’s a dull discomfort blooming from your nape.

Your eyelids feel heavy and your breathing slows. Black spots float around in your vision. They start small, appearing as if they were polka dots, then grow to be the size of black holes. Your muscles won’t move. The unconscious realm beckons. Its gravitational pull is irresistible, a tide you can’t swim against.

What is this? Your neck… did he strike a nerve…?

“You’ll be fine,” a distant, sonorous voice promises. “Just sleep.”

The sentence has been delivered.

You’re made prisoner to a dreamless slumber.

#blade x reader #yandere blade x reader #honkai star rail x reader #yandere honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #yandere hsr x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #nexus #my stuff

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desceros · 11 months ago

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me: [looks at calendar, gets a wicked idea, looks into the camera] happy springtime, turtle fam! who's ready to celebrate the season?

...mating season, that is. hehe. [dodges the tomatoes]

so! i had the idea that it would be super fun to have a community-wide event where we all have a prompt and then everyone fills it in their own way.

...i then decided all the prompts i came up with were too good not to use, but also none of them were Good Enough to use exclusively, so i changed my mind and the prompt is now just MATING SEASON. with a few suggestions at the bottom of this post if you're looking for some.

since spring is coming upon us, i hereby invite everyone to join in the vernal festivities... which in turtle parlance, of course, means only one thing: write, draw, whatever your version of "mating season", then join me on march 1 to post it with the tag #TMNTSpringShellebration. we then shall browse the fine selection of our mutual artistic efforts, and basically just have a good time as a community.

here are the prompts i came up with as starters-slash-things-to-include if you're looking for a place to get started. feel free to use these at will, or use them to come up with something of your own:

“Please don’t make me explain this. It’s humiliating as is.”

Oops, Looks Like Mating Season Came A Week Early This Year

“…In all of my mating seasons, this has never happened before.”

“I told you not to come by! It’s mating season!”

Probably should have expected it to be different now that he’s not going through it alone.

Because of Shenanigans, you have to wait. Wait… Wait… ok now.

They’re not the right person for mating season… but they’re the one who’s here, so…

“Show me where it hurts."

so yeah! see you all on march 1 for the, uh, spring shellebration. party popper emoji

questions i imagine will be popping up and i hope will clear up here before my askbox swells beyond capacity under the cut to keep this post from being Way Too Long. also it's really not that serious it's just an excuse to write slash draw for everyone Please Don't Take This Thing Too Seriously It's Not That Serious:

"can i participate?" yes! it's literally just an invitation to do something. nothing fancier than that. no need to be following me or in my friend group or whatever.

"can i write (insert fic idea here)?" yep! so long as it's related to the idea of mating seasons, it flies. reader insert? hell yea. oc? hell yeah. solo turtle and his favorite pillow? go for it.

"can i draw (insert art idea here)?" yep! uh. i know tumblr has the cops watching for sin bin material, but you art people know how to deal with that. and if you don't, uh, ask the other art people. im just a feral cat in a trench coat

"how do i participate?" write/draw/collect songs for/whatever. then, on march 1, post it and tag it #TMNTSpringShellebration. also, for funsies, keep it hush hush what you're working on so we can all be super shocked when the day comes! except, y'know, that you're planning on joining in. totally do that.

"when do i post it?" march 1. whenever on that day. waves hands around in a vague gesture at time zones not mattering. seriously don't take this so seriously it's just me wanting to create cool shit with my friends with a little more structure to it

"does it have to be horny?" i mean. it's an event about mating season. so by definition it's going to be at least a little horny. but however you interpret it is cool. even if it's just. idk. leo sitting sweatily in a chair looking longingly at a glass of water bc he's thirstier than usual. be smart about things, people. i'm not your dad.

"which tmnt verse is this for?" whichever one you want it to be for!! rise! bayverse! 2007! your fan iteration! your friend's fan iteration! your mortal enemy's fan iteration! yes!

"will you be reblogging everything?" absolutely not, but this isn't an event About Me. i am incidental to the thing. it's about Us. coming together as a community. for horny turtles. puts my hands on your shoulders. do it for you. for your friends. for the community.

#text tag #feel free to reblog this around. it started out as a thing for turtle fam but we all agreed that it would be fun for The Community #anyway yeehaw let's spend all of february thinking about what to do and then the night of feb 29 doing it RAH #tmntspringshellebration

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briefpeachdinosaur · 2 months ago

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Saigiku Jōno in the ADA + relationship

just some random headcanons bc he has Potential to be an ADA member (Idk If I got his character right tbh... please tell me)

Warnings: mention of make out

Also this is so much longer then I planed

-Oh boy

• this man...

(One of my favorite anime blind Kings)

• tbh in some ways I see him and dazai get along ( when dazai met jouno I thought they get along and dazai even commented that and dDAZAI TOUCHED jounos hand with his Finger and jouno didn't even semed bothered lol) but there is seriously no inbetween.

•he is definetly someone who would smack some common sense into the Team. (Including you and in the worst moments too sometimes (just humble him no on is blaming you))

• let's not forget that he is brutally honest which is why your always annoyed because yes he is right but you point out that he should be more careful with the way he chooses his words, and he dosen't necessary needs to speak his mind cuz who tf ask?

• i don't think he would tell ranpo that he has no ability tbh, he get's that this is basiclly a rule but he hears ranpos and everybodys heartbeats when they say "ranpo has an ability."

•if he got an opportunity he would make some comments here and there about it (in the beginning of working there)

•however he respects him and his team mates(he did think about throwing ranpo in a train alone and see how lost he'll get but he didn't do it (yet))

• He respects them and there abilitys but his sassy remarcs will be there from time to time.

• but as we all know he gets irritated easly and can get inpatient with them if he is annoyed

•I will say it often he still is a sadist but I think not as much as in the hunting dogs, mostly because Fukuzawa dosen't let him torture people and (most of the time) there isn't a need to.

• Imagine he and dazai talk about there criminal past and then talk about how they tortured people (they'd make a drinking game out of it)

• with yosano too (but he'd be scared of her treatment as well(like everybody else lol))

• these 3 would be unstoppable just imagine IMAGINE YALL

•AYOOO THE 3 SADISTS

• This guy is smart too, let's not forget this.

•he can see trough lies so he naturaly knows when something is up. No one can really mess with him.

•You don't lie to him you just don't tell him or avoide his questions.

•if there is an Important Meeting or Mission he will give his all and be 100% there and he expects the same from you too.

•He is a capable man and is abel to lead and be lead

• If there was a Mission and everthing went well you will get praises and he will tell you that you did well and everybody who was involved in this.

• you also get a pet on the back or shoulder.

● I do imagine him being a good Detective, sloving cases isn't something he can't do even hard ones. (But like everybody in the ADA he ask Ranpo for help if It's needed)

•he is still a sadist don't forget that, just stab him in the ass and he'll come to his senses again if he is being too rude to you or anyone else

• this man can be SO passive aggressiv to the police or his enemys HE DOSEN'T CARE AT ALL

• he'll properly rant to you about some of his Problems and insults those who create the Problem. (on the inside he is a big Chaos but on the outside he is (mostly) clam)

• honestly I don't see him change too much in the ADA, he still likes to be seen with admiration, he still takes pleasure in saving the public and I do see the ADA give him that respect just like the public (ranpo still gets more I don't make the rules (but he dosen't care that much))

• I mean why wouldn't they? He is responsible, strong, smart, a skilled fighter, has great abilitys, respects Fukuzawa the most and more.

•even though he likes being admired we all know he really does care for the public/ the people he works with, and is ready to protect those in need.

• if he is your work Partner prepare to be teased and annoyed to no end.

•(okay look with tecchou he was always verbaly abusive and tecchou is physicaly abusive to him)

• just stab his ass like tecchou always did.

• or say thinks like : jōno shut up your pride is bigger then your height (ik he is very tall but still i like that rost)

• then your having a "rost each other " Festival (It's funny for the people around you) and you can say the most nasty shit to him.

•However if your very very sensitiv you won't get much of his sassy side, he acually will stop.

• Honestly this guy is clam on the outside but a Chaos on the inside ( him : I fucking hate everbody 🙂 (and I like to make a point clear 🙂))

• he'll point out so many physical reaction's you have just to get on your nervou bc he is a little shit.

• you have to tell him to keep it to himself when your heart beating gets faster or slower bc its annoying or whatever he always points out-

•He can be petty sometimes he'll be like:

Y/n can you stop breathing so loud??

you : 👁👄👁

•Can you be mad thought? After he lost his eye Vision most of his senses became stronger and It's quit overwehlming for him from times. Things like Touch, sounds and stuff you smell will be overwehlming and stressfull for him. And not to mention he can also feel the emotions of others which can take a lot on a guy.

•if your on the train and you don't have anywhere to hold yourself onto you can hold onto his arm or he will make way so you can hold yourself from where he was holding himself (that was too much hold in one sentence but you get it)

• If your cold he will give you his jacked/scarf so you can warm up (he'll mostly scold you)

• if your a person who is highly anxious he would acually stop sacring you with his ability to show up out of nowhere or with his sassy way to be (There is also no fun in tormenting you lul)

• if you ask him about it he just says that It's because of how the Sound of your heart always beating so hard makes him have headaches and that he feels your anxious feelings and that gives him a hard time too which is true at some point because he can get overwehlmed by too much (like I said)

• but It's acually because he wants you to relax too. He is not the biggest ass in the World.

• if your however just a heavy overthinker he will coldly and brutally smack common sense into you, he will tell you to clam down because your overthinking is just stupid and it dosen't make sense anyway.

• if you give him a pet name like "sei" or "jun" He will be irritated at first and wants you to stop

• your too stubborn so he goes with it after some time of getting used to it too.

•anyway-

•Definetly scares you or sneaks up on you to scare you, so like Shows up out of nowhere with the help of his ability (Priceless Tears (what a dramatic fuvking name))

• he likes your heartbeat It's suprised him how he is less annoyed about yours.

•In fact he likes how clam you are (if you're a clam person with a clam heart)

• tbh If he ever catches feelings for someone I don't (really) think he would get it right away ( or is it just me?)

•Or he wouldn't think that It's something too deep or that it will get deeper

• He would still tease you but It's more flirty now (Your suprised)

• I can see him being a confident flirter. Like he knows how to flirt and get you all red.

(The first person to acually get it is ofc Ranpo, my brainy Man)

•he likes the embarrassment and shyness you feel but if you flirt back ohh your bold girly But he does like it in a strange way

•I think he has a Thing for impressing you be it with his ability, Strenght's, brain or anything he likes how suprised you get or how you admirer him bc of that.

• will touch your lip to shut you up.

• if he needs to tell you something that no one other then you should hear he will step closer to you (if he wants you to look up and if you didn't already look up to him) he might put his Finger on your chin and make you look at him (this bitch)

• You think he just wants to embarrasse you? Well in some ways but it might be related to the importance of the Information but like i said he does loves to feel the embarrassment, shyness and your fast heartbeat he gets from this little act. He likes seeking the little pleasure you give him.

• why you don't punch him? Well, seems like you start to like him a little like he does and he is handsome as hell so you don't do it.

• now, he cought that something changed in you bc of your heartbeats when he is around, It's a little different with him.

• I don't think he would play with feelings if I where to be honest (It's also not like your an enemy he can use lol and it dosen't benefit him-)

•However he might think your a fool to fall for him.

•but he is just a fool as you are.

• He dosen't point it out thought .

• I can see him trying to avoide you after he realised he started to have stronger feelings for you.

•But that didn't really work out.

• (again) I don't see him change too much but what changed was that he started to look out for you more and make sure your save is more caring but get's embarrassed easily but can hide it quit well.

(Bro's in denail and is annoyed that he likes you)

•he is less cocky with you. A side you enjoy even if It's just a little change.

•if you compliment him on anything if It's his ability for example he agrees with you but he will return a compliment or a joke to make you laugh.

•if you say somethink like : i like your earring or : I think this jacked you wear suits you well.

•he might not reply or just say a "Thanks" (he didn't expected that from you ) but he acually takes it to heart and wears that jacked more often.

•if your having a panic attack he feels what you feel ( is distressed too ) and place your head at his heart so you can feel his beating heart Till you clam down. Or places your hand on his heart and your other hand at your heart.

•if you wanna rest your head at his shoulders or chest he won't protest

•i think with him it will go slow and he will slowly start to feel relaxed and at ease with you.

•if your on a break with him in the Café the ADA always chills at and your sitting next to him he will place his arm around your seat.

•or you might Touch shoulders, you were Like : why isn't he moving away from me ?

•well he likes your Touch!

• I think if you get on the topic he will tell you about his past a little.

•I think if you get him a gift that is for his safty he will tell you he won't need it but still accepted the gift and will thank you.

• he is going to wear it everyday from now on, like he is proud of it. (He's a confident guy)

• if someone makes a comment about it he will literlly destroy them.

•will give you a gift too but will say it was just because he knew you lost this and brought something similar or he said it was because you brought him something now he has to ( he brought it because he knows what you like.)

•he might open his eyes for you, just for YOU. His eyes are closed due to the fact that they grew very sensitiv after he lost his ability to see and it was probally dark outside and when you saw his eyes you felt your heart almost explode because there so beautiful.

• okay now if you get togehter I think it will be a total cliche A TOTAL CLICHE.

• So at this point you didn't confess he didn't either, everbody started to see that there is something going on, the chemistry started to rise between you 2 ( just like the Sexual tension) but nobody did anything.

• let's just say that you had a dangerous Mission you where both almost killed ( you can make your own Scenario )

• Anyways after that you where injured but he saved you and carried you to a save place.

• he was relived when you woke up again and well.. you kissed him for saving you.

•bro was so shooked he even opend his eyes (as if he could see with them)

• you did it because you where also relived that he was still alive and that you finally had the courage to show him how you feel.

•however when you broke the kiss he didn't do anything for a couple of seconds and just stared at you with a serious face.

• You thought you made him mad but then he connected your lips again .

• which lead to a heated make out season between you two. (😐😬🤪😀🙂)

• he hold you close and very strong against him, it was the closes your bodys ever touched (yet) He was very gentle in the way he traced over you body especially when he placed his hand on your back (cuz his hand found themselfs there)

• his grip is strong and a little possessive. Like yeah your his now accept it hoe.

• yeah.. it didn't end well because you guys where cought but you seprated in time

•After that It's Kind of akward because you ask yourself: w-what are we now??!!?

•you guys decidet to talk it out, even though he (I think) seems like a guy who dosen't care about emotions he does care and he tells them to you about what he feels for you.

• you guys are togehter now.

•if I'm honest I don't see him having expirience in relationships.

(But expirience in other Departements)

• He'll probally rent to you while laying his head on your lap, it relaxes him.

• you even end up gossip togehter sometimes.

•he likes how you play with his hair.

• I can see him sharing more Information of himself to you.

•He is the Definition of : I hate everbody but not you, your my favorite person 😐🙂.

• He can't see you sadly but he knows how you look. How? Well He touched your face and Analysed it with his hands so he knows how you look.

• He will tell you your beautiful (sometimes just to tease you but he means it)

• he knows every inch of you and I hc that he can imagine people quit well so he also knows how your body looks, how tall you are, your face and all.

• if you have a scar somewhere, especially if It's on a part of your body where the skin is very sensitiv (or privat) he knows of it

• he loves your scent so much, nothing in the World can be compared to it, he will buy you flowers that smell like you but you still smell better.

•in a room of 100 people he will still be abel to find you.

•he likes to rest his head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat It's calming to him and he enjoys listening to it. (All your sounds are the only ones that don't disturb him)

• he also likes your hair especially the smell of it, probally play with it too (might braid it for you and tries to make it look good for you.)

• you sometimes take care of his hair and he was like: this is making a lot of things easier for me.

• he enjoyes protecting people and enjoyes to protect you the most .

• ehh but don't let yourself be fooled by this softer side of him, he enjoyes annoying, messing and teasing you more then anything on the Planet.

• if He wears a hat and you snitch it from him and run away while laughing he is Quick to catch you ( he might seem annoyed but it acually made him be in simp Mode ) they way he Catched you, you might ask? Oh well he hold you up and then still hold you while you gave him his hat back.

• if you ask him Personal questions he might think of perhaps not telling you ( especially in the beginning) cuz mostly people don't ask him this Personal stuff but he will open up more to you.

• okay I don't think jōno minds physical Touch but I think he is not too much into PDA. In the sense of he is more touchy with you in privat but in public if your sitting next to him his arm is over your arm chair or his hand is on your back sometimes or he holds your hand or you go arm in arm but he is pretty formal in public nothing too much.

• okay I can see him slip in more passionet touches if he wants to mess with you a little (or possesive ones)

• however if you want a hug, kiss or something else you'll recive it in privat.

• I don't think he will hug you in public It's more like he comes and messes with you, he leans his back/boday to yours and does all the things I have mentioned.

• if someone is stupid enought to hurt you he will torture them to death if you let him.

• he makes it clear that no one can mess with you (only he can do that lol)

● if you have a scar somewhere (specially somewhere very privat) he knows because at this point he knows your body like the back of his hand. He kiss your scars if your insecure about them.

Ok thats it lovelys!!! Hope you enjoying cuz this is a chaotic mess.

@viiper1 @rosey8 @crystalluvsu2 @diveintovortex

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #bungou stray dogs #anime and manga #dazai osamu #ranpo edogawa #yosano akiko #jouno bsd #bungou stray dogs jouno #bsd jouno #saigiku jouno #jouno saigiku #saigiku jōno #jouno x reader #bsd x reader #jouno headcanons #bsd headcanons #bungou stray dogs headcanons #headcanon

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nekropsii · 6 months ago

Note

On the topic of Eridan Discourse (eridiscourse?) earlier, I typed up a very long ask this morning (brought to mind by the discussion) trying to pinpoint a specific thing about the way the fandom handles transfem Eridan headcanons that rubbed me the wrong way. Instead of sending it I spent the rest of the day pondering it. Because the thing that was nagging me wasnt "people do it in a mocking way" and certainly not "headcanoning characters as transfem is cringe" and I finally figured it out.

(it feels wrong to use he/him in this context/phrasing so she/her it is) I feel like a lot of transfem Eridan content treats her transitioning as a cure-all for her negative qualities (sometimes explicitly as a punchline to the joke! but a lot of the time more subtly too) in a way that doesn't even necessarily come across as transphobic so much as just plain old misogyny. And yes, if you want to explore something like "once she solves this problem for herself she's able to deal with resolving her harmful viewpoints" that's cool and I get it! I might be more onboard with the headcanon if I saw more content that took itself seriously!

But most of the time it comes across as a binary of "girl will not be as shitty as when she was a boy because that is how Girl and Boy genders work" in a similar way to some June characterizations that replace her character traits to make her fit a certain image of "Girl". Beyond that (even in tons of March Eridan doodles that aren't even straight up drawn in the mocking light of the original) I feel like that same issue comes up in a ton of transfem Eridan art--she's just so flattened and sanitized even by people who seem to be genuinely trying to portray her in good faith.

This also kinda brings to mind the occasional discussion I've seen of transfem Cronus which I believe you've commented on before. My guess for most content I've stumbled on of that (including stuff I've seen one of my good friends create!) is that it's a riff on the March Eridan stuff (which afaik is the reason transfem Eridan is popular in the first place) and not taking the implications/fulfilled stereotypes it brings up into account...which (once again) seems to usually be avoided by tidying up the character flaws and ignoring negative actions to create a Good And Proper girl character which. yeah, isn't much better.

Anyways WOOF that got long but hey I think it was somehow originally longer before it became actual analysis. idk, do you think this checks out? ( oh I added some formatting inspired by how you write posts in hopes it makes it easier to follow...)

Yeah, I don't tend to be a fan of transfem!Eridan works - and even some June works - because a lot of people handle it in ways I just find... Iffy. If it's not weirdly oversexualizing a 13 year old, then it's acting like Transition is a magical Cure-All for every single one of your issues as a person. I don't think it's valuable to pretend that realizing you're Queer automatically deletes any prior character flaws. It's harmful, even - plenty of people will discover their gender doesn't line up with what's been expected of them, or that their attractions aren't a part of the cisheterosexual norm, and... Believe themselves to have done all the legwork necessary to wash their hands clean of any other bigotries. Plenty of Queer people are bigots - be that lateral bigotries, or racism, or ableism, or what-have-you - it's more common than anyone wants to admit. There is a reason that the Progress flag exists, you know?

Eridan and June tend to get flattened down to very stereotypical ideas of the gender of "Girl". June's wildly out of character and portrayed more like fanon!Jade, than... Well, herself as she appears in the comic. Eridan's issues are sanded down to the point where all she is is an evocatively posed barely-teenage mannequin in a skimpy outfit. Both of them are regularly portrayed as having had their issues blip out of existence the second they realized they might not be guys. The transfem!Cronus headcanon will never make sense to me and never be morally okay to me. To say Cronus is Transfeminine is just outright violent Transmisogyny, no matter who it's coming from. That's not even a fucking conversation. It isn't a debate. That's not cute. Really? The guy who fakes minority statuses to try to sleep with people? The aggressive, hyper-bigoted sexual predator? The sex pest who isn't above repeatedly sexually targeting children, one of which he is related to? That? You saw that and thought "That's a trans woman"? Really? You're seriously saying that with zero ounce of shame in your body? Go to hell.

Back to June and Eridan - Part of the issue is Misogyny, yes, but I feel another issue coming to play is that a lot of Tumblr seems to view Queerness as inherently Virtuous, rather than a normal thing that people just happen to be sometimes. Tumblr's prone to very... Unwittingly Catholic mindsets, and Queerness being inherently Morally Cleansing is definitely one of them... And it goes... Extremely unchallenged, all of the time. It's pretty grating, honestly.

#homestuck #homestuck fandom #eridan ampora #june egbert #cronus ampora #cw transmisogyny #cw misogyny #nekro.sms

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whysojiminimnida · 2 years ago

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Remember When I Said Taehyung Might Not Be As Gay As We Thought?

Don't judge a man by his milfy wardrobe, he looks goooood.

It was... awhile ago. Maybe as far back as 2021 although I do not feel like link-searching it. It's in the archives if I didn't kill it.

Granted, there was a lot going on, then. There's still a lot going on and until now I had no desire to ever - EVER - return to this hellsite. Because Taekookers are fucking weird, yo. And some of y'all got a lil bit up in my shit too as I (fuzzily) recall. Which: it's whatever. I'm extremely unsocial, don't even answer my own DMs. And it's not personal, so I get it. I don't need or want to defend myself, but I will protect people I care about. With my absence, if necessary.

OT: I also totally kicked the big C while I've been out so that was nice. Yoongi the cat is pleased that his noms will continue uninterrupted. I will be in wigs for at least another year. It's all good. Oh LOOK at what we have here. Don't come at me for publishing this, I will explain.

I got it from actual media days ago, okay, and also: there was no expectation of real privacy. Keep reading. Or don't, I'm not telling you what to do.

ANYWAY. I had to come back, mainly to say TAENNIE IS REAL I TOLD Y'ALL IDK WHY NOBODY EVER BELIEVES ME BUT HERE WE ARE. I'm gloating. Honestly, it's so rude, I'd apologize if I cared. But I am rude and snorfling into my cheerios about this. Tae just made me so damn happy, is all.

LET THE MAN BE BI OR HETEROFLEXIBLE OR EVEN STRAIGHT IDC. Jennie clearly makes him happy. Look at his "I'm going to Paris to see my girlfriend" face!

And in that very specific jewelry look, no less. Foundrae. Again. Still. Hm.

Here's what I can tell you based on my limited third hand no sources no receipts this is probably utter bullshit usual disclaimer: It's a soft open, kids. This whole "oopsie we just so happened to get caught taking a lil walk in public with our managers in tow during which date at least one of us signed several autographs, what a surprise" is in fact a soft open for what will likely be a public confirmation PRETTY DAMN SOON. It might happen before I get this thing published, actually, depending on when I get it up. If it's before May 22 at noon my time, no idea. If after, well. Guess we'll see. Jennie's supposed to show up at the screening of HBO's The Idol that day, screening at the Grand Lumiere at 10:30 CEST. One wonders if she will arrive alone, or bring a plus one. It's a big ask, and if he does it they're probably getting married, that's how big a deal it would be. So I'm not holding my breath, but.

This seems like a reasonable prospect for a plus-one viewing. Might not be the only one but... Jennie's IN IT so.

I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN. I think it would be a fucking POWER move if it did, but I also do not necessarily expect that it will. It COULD. It... MIGHT. It might not. Either way they're a thing, I'm telling you. They are, have been, a thing. For awhile. And it is apparently quite serious - like up to and including talk of engagement serious.

Remember when a bunch of folk thought that one gummy bear dude was going to jail for "hacking" Jennie's phone only there's been no actual movement on any "investigation"? Yeah. Trickle truthing, they call it. Give 'em a little bit, let them deny it and yell and chew on it for awhile before you give 'em a little more. But c'mon, nobody's wearing half the love-themed couple pieces at Foundrae for no damn reason.

Seriously they got the whole collection almost and both have been seen wearing them almost exclusively. For a year.See airport pic above.

Look, I don't have inside info on Taehyung. I do not. I ain't hang with his friends and I don't know him personally. Never met the guy. But I know a PR move when I see one and this is exactly that.

We all know how toxic stan culture can be. Some ToadlicKKers (and a few of us house elves) are certifiably bonkers, if stan twitter is anything to go by. And the guys, the company, they expect a whole meltdown. They know this is not gonna make half their fans happy. I mean the tkkers have a point in that it looks like they wanted to be seen. BECAUSE IT'S A SOFT OPEN. What Taejen/Taennie/Jenhyung and the companies also know is that based on historic shipper behavior, this is gonna come back on Jimin, Jungkook, maybe Rose' and Lisa. And by extension, the other members. Maybe not as much due to their respective distance, but still. I bet by the time I finish this it will have already started.

Oh look there it is. Fuck those bitches, really.

Good LORDT. I'm not adding the audio, if y'all are that hungry for psycho hose beast Jimin hate hie thee to stan twt.

But, totally off-topic kinda...

... wouldn't it be cool if Jennie, who speaks great English, was hanging out with Troye Sivan and was like "so you know my boyfriend tells me that his bffs..." I'M JUST SAYING NETWORKING IS COOL AND FRIENDS OF FRIENDS GET THINGS DONE OKAY.

You know that girl has the scoop. If Tae knows it, she knows it. Oh heeeeyyy Troye.

Also OT: I love that Taekook have been hanging out a little more lately. It's refreshing. I genuinely think having Jennie in his life has been good for Tae in several ways. And you know, I'm kinda surprised Taennie has lasted this long. I didn't honestly think they would. It warms my decrepit, sad old heart a bit. Turns out I have a lot more to say so IDK IDK, if I feel okay about it I might be back. Right now I'm just waiting for the official Taennie nod and the continued total meltdown.

#oh shit here we go again #taennie #stan twt #cannes #taehyung #kim taehyung #jennie #meanwhile the jeon parks continue unabated but that's another thing #tae in paris #random troye sivan #cannes 2023 #yoongi the cat not the man #why the hell am i even here

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alexa-fika · 15 days ago

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Im seriously asking for a part 2 for muzlim reader x ASL the first one was so adorable.

I want some action so can you add something with danger and The Bluejam pirates. Like reader gets taken? (Idk)

Jam pack meetings (ASL x f!child! Reader)

First of all I want to give a huge thanks to both @fangirl0027 and @onepiece-asl-lover for beta reading this to make sure it was respectful and accurate. Thank you Lover for being patient with me and informing about the different aspects of the religion and what some of it’s customs entail and thank you Fan for helping me further include the muslim identity into the story and for all your A+ writing and general feedback.

Okay with that out of the way I want to point out that making a part two of the previous part with the bluejam pirates wouldn’t really work out as the bluejam pirate scuffle happened before they were friends (Let’s go with this and not the fact that I did it this way cause I totally forgot it was supposed to be a second part) so this piece is completely independent to the previous one. But guys guys I really really like how it turned out and I hope you guys do too 🤭. Also peek that tittle, get it Jam packed? Because it’s the bluejam pirates? 😀

Reader here is replaced by Dokucha which stands for Reader in japanese

Dividers by @/fireflygraphics and @/drinkthesky

“Ace, I really think you are going overboard here,” Dokucha called hesitantly, watching Luffy run away from the tree trunk Ace had sent to create distance from them.

“Shut up,” he snarled, his demeanor softening slightly as he noticed the small flinch his outburst had caused.

“Tch. If we don’t keep him away, that idiot will find our hideout; if that happens, it’s over, he’ll begin blabbering about it, and we’ll lose what we have done all these years,” he called, stomping off.

“Come on, Ace, look how stubborn he is; he has been at it for months; no matter how hurt he gets, I think he would keep the secret,” she repled, hurriedly running after him, carefully avoiding all the branches that threatened to snag her abaya.

“He could help us; having for people in on it would make sure we can get our ship faster.”

“As if,” he scoffingly laughed, much to the chagrin of Dokucha

“Like that idiot could save even a penny for the cause.”

“Jerk,” she mumbled as she frowned at Ace’s words.

“What was that?!”

“Nothing~” she laughed off, running past him and towards a familiar tree; whistling up towards it, she waited for the young boy she knew waited there

“Sabo, you here?” Ace hissed out

“Ah, you guys are here; I was beginning to think you weren’t coming,” a voice echoed back.

“Sorry, someone was being a jerk, so we’re a little late,” she called back teasingly with a roll of her eyes as she circled the tree, her abaya swirling at her ankles, ignoring the scathing glare said jerk sent her way.

“I did a job in town already.”

“So did I,” Ace laughed as he climbed the tree.

“As did I,” she parroted, following in after him, slowly taking hold of the vines that covered the tree. Gradually, she climbed up and began climbing not far from the boy. However, not noticing her feet had accidentally gone over the hem of her abaya, she miscalculated her steps, causing her to lose her balance.

Thankfully, Ace was not far from her and easily grabbed her hand, preventing her from falling.

She sighed in relief, feeling his harm firmly hold her back; confusion soon followed as she remained in that position for a while, annoyance filling her as she found her answers on the growing smirk of the young boy.

“You better apologize for calling me a jerk earlier,” he teased.

“Ace, stop fooling around and help me up,” she hissed.

“Take back what you said.”

“No!”

“Ah, I think you’re slipping.” he teased as he leaned forward, causing Dokucha to tip further back.

“Okay! Okay! I take it back. You’re not a jerk!” She yelled out, letting out a sigh when her words were rewarded by Ace pulling her up into one of the thicker branches of the tree, ignoring her glare with a satisfied smile on his face

“I told you You’re going to fall off one of these days,” he said as he plopped himself down next to Sabo.

“And I told you to stop worrying. I’m getting used to it. I just need to practice. I’m getting better,” she huffed out, joining the two boys as they all pulled out sacks of money.

“Alright, this is what I got,” he beamed, opening his earnings.

“What do you have, Ace?” He questioned as he repeated his previous actions with Ace’s sack, letting out a choked laugh at the amount that laid inside

“This is more than what I got! How did you get this much?!

“Got it from some punks; I think they were transporting it for Mercenary ships,” he boasted, the feeling amplified by the awe in both of his friend’s faces.

“Alright, Alright, what about you, Dokucha?” he inquired as he opened the final bag, staring shocked at the amount of money that the girl had managed to gather, joined by Ace, who dug his hand in the loot, watching the golden coins fell from his hands in a Cascade.

“Where do you get this much?! It’s almost as much as mine and Sabo’s combined.” he gaped.

“I did babysitting and petsitting up in Hightown, the people there are quite generous with my salary after I take care of their babies, especially the pet owners.” She beamed, watching as Sabo gleefully poured their combined gains into a secret compartment hidden by the tree

“Do you think we’re getting close?” She asked excitedly, leaning into the filled compartment

“We still got a long way to go.”

“How much do we need to buy a pirate ship?” Sabo asked, looking up at Ace

“Don’t know ten million? Hundred million, now shut it and hide it already; someone might see it,” he said, watching as Sabo complied, closing the compartment and once again rearranging the leaves and moss nearby to hide it further.

“A pirate ship?! Are you guys going to be pirates?! So am I!!” A voice bellowed from below them, causing all three of them to freeze at the fact that they had been discovered

“Luffy?!” She gawked, looking down at the boy, not noticing the glance Sabo and Ace shared behind her as they quickly scrambled down the tree

“W-wait Ace! Sabo, don’t you dare!” She pleaded, running after the two boys who tackled Luffy down, making quick work of him and tying him to a nearby tree

“Oh! It’s you!” Luffy exclaimed, looking at the girl

“Are you Ace’s friends?! Be my friend, too!” he exclaimed, beaming.

“Ok -

“Shut it.” Ace deadpanned easily, cutting him off, sending an accusatory finger toward Dokucha not taking his eyes off Luffy

“You too.”

“You followed me all the way here? I even took harder paths to avoid it,” Ace growled, turning to look at the rubber boy.

“This is why I told you to stay here too, Ace! And you too, Dokucha! Especially you! You already live in the gray terminal!”

“I’m sorry! I wanted to join Ace’s mountain training!” She wailed

“Well, that training backfired now,” he snapped back, ignoring the dejected look on her face at his scolding.

“We can’t leave him be; he will tell the whole town, so… let’s kill him,”

he muttered with a dark look taking over his features as he crossed his arms

“Let’s do it.” Sabo readily agreed, a similarly dark look on his face

Panicked, Dokucha hurried to stand in front of him, her covered arms extended to protect the boy.

“Guys, there has to be another w-

Once again, her words were cut off as the violent screams and protests of Luffy reverberated across the forest, and soon after, voices were able to be heard coming closer to them; with hurried words exchanged between the duo, Ace made quick work of the ropes holding Luffy down as he pulled the boy along, Sabo mirroring his actions with the young girl, all of them jumping into a nearby bush as the voices came closer.

They watched as Porchemy scouted the area with his subordinates. As they talked, Dokucha noticed something alarming, and she repeatedly tapped Sabo to gain his attention.

“What?!” he hissed

“Luffy’s gone,” she whispered back

“What?!” Ace choke out

“Where is he?” His question was answered as the girl simply pointed to the pirates they were hiding from, a very familiar form on their hands

“We have to help him!” she stated as she started pushing the bushes to get closer.

“No. Leave it, Dokucha,” Sabo snapped back, holding back the girl from jumping into the fray.

“But they will kill him!”

“Dokucha,” Ace hissed, helping Sabo in holding her down.

“We need to go move out treasure before the idiot babbles about it. Do you want to lose all the progress we made all these years?” he pleaded, holding her shoulders.

“Fine,” she deflated and agreed hesitantly, following after the two as they ran back towards their hideout, looking back as they dragged Luffy away.

“Luffy!” Dokucha whispered and shouted up at the boy, looking around as she approached him slowly, frowning at the image of the blood trickling down the hanging boy, guilt slowly filling her body at the sight

“It’s you! Are you here to save me?!” Luffy called, head snapping up

“Yes, now shush, or you’ll get us both caught!” she said, frown deepening at the state of his bruised face, pulling out an arrow from behind her and aiming for the rope holding him up, catching the injured boy as he fell into her arms.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” she muttered, helping him stand up.

“I don’t think so,” Porchemy cut in

Dokucha froze, turning around at the unexpected voice; before she could react, however, she was sent back with a powerful punch from his spiked gloves.

“Ack!” she groaned, rolling on the ground.

“I really liked this one too.” She briefly lamented at the blood debris now staining her abaya

“Are you also Ace’s friend?” he snarled, slowly approaching her.

“I won’t tell you anything,” she snarled, spitting out a blob of blood and glancing at her bow that now lay at the corner of the room, thrown aside with Porchemy’s attack.

“I’m sure you will change your mind once you are in the same condition as the twerp over there,” he spoke, gesturing towards the huffing Luffy next to her.

“No way! I won’t ever say anything to a jerk like you!” she sneered, moving in front of Luffy.

“We’ll see about that,” he roared, running towards her as she pulled Luffy close to her, enveloping him as she braced for the attack, only for it to be stopped as familiar voices joined the fray.

“Stop it!” Ace and Sabi roared as they charged toward Porchemy

“Ace!” she cried as Porchemy easily took a hold of him easily, choking him.

“Sabo!” He choked out, watching as said boy easily sneaked his way behind the giant and pummeled him to the ground with his pipe, running towards Dokucha and Luffy, taking hold of the boy and making a run for it, gesturing for the girl to follow suit

“Let’s get out of here, Ace!”

“You go on ahead; I will not run away from someone I am facing,” he stated as he stubbornly dug his feet to the ground.

“Ace, there is nothing to gain from this, so let’s go!” Dokucha howled

“Tch. You wait here.” Sabo muttered, dropping Luffy in a corner and turning to the girl, throwing her a familiar weapon

“My bow!”

“Watch my back!” he called, running towards the Porchemy and Ace, ready to join the fray.

“Of course!” she agreed, loading her bow and aiming for the pirate.

“Die,” she growled, letting go of the taut string while Sabo and Ace let out their own battle cries.

“You have a bad habit, Ace! You need to run when facing a pirate. Do you have a death wish?” Sabo yelled, scolding the boy and glaring at him as Dokucha tended to Ace’s wounds, wrapping them in bandages.

“I was so scared! I thought I was going to die!!” Luffy wailed

“Shut up! You’ve been crying for hours; I hate crybabies!” He shouted at the boy, wincing as the girl in front of her tightened his bandages more than needed

“Be nice.” She muttered, rolling her eyes as she finished bandaging him, watching him storm closer to the crying Luffy as she gestured towards Sabo, beginning to similarly work on his wounds

“Thanks -hic- Thank you for saving me”

“Yo-

“He’s just saying Thanks!” Sabo exclaimed from his spot in front of Dokucha as Ace made a run to tackle Luffy

“You know, I think those two will get along just fine,” She sighed affectionately with a smile on her face.

“You think so?” they seem like oil and water to me, the blond replied skeptically.

“Yes, but they have lots of things in common; they are both just as hotheaded and stubborn as each other,” she laughed, finishing the last bandage on the boy and giving him a slight tap to signal the boy on the completed job.

“You’re right there,” he mumbled, looking as said boys went at it

“Regardless, you and I are in trouble now,” he sighed, gaining the attention of Ace and Luffy as he mindlessly helped Dokucha with her own injuries, helping her tuck the hair strands peeking out from her hijab that had nearly come undone on the scuffle.

“We have been living in this dump, but with what we just did to the Bluejam pirates, that’s not safe anymore.”

“Then come stay with us,” Ace easily offered.

Here it is guys!!!! Again thank you for my beta readers for helping me with this, im so happy how it turned out and I hope you guys like it too!

Taglist:

@Imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

@h0n3y-l3m0n05

@hannahbarberra162

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onestrangechild · 28 days ago

Text

What your fav Legion says about you, from some nerd on an app

Ultramarines:

I like to think of you guys like Glock owners. Yes, on paper, you guys are the least creative but that means you guys are the most reliable. Guilliman was probably the best primarch to come back to the setting because he was the most stable, and it shows in his marines, who don’t have trauma for the sake of plot. You admire the other legions, but it’s the no nonsense approach they bring to battle that you respect the most.

For honor and glory.

Blood Angels:

You think Vampires are dope as Fuck, and you’re right. Your favorite TV show is probably season 1 of Netflix’s Castlevania (same) or HELLSING, and play the Vampire Counts in the Total War Warhammer games. You go into a seething rage at the merest mention of the WarMaster, and probably wanna rip Erebus’s hearts out and lay them before sanguinius’s feet. You’re probably a bit annoyed with people hiding their gear from you because they think you’re a Blood Raven, but you’ll forgive them in time.

Dark angels:

You think Medieval Knights are dope as Fuck, and you’re right. You dig the chivalry and honor they embody at all times, think dark green and gold looks drippy (it does), and think the Lion is an absolute badass (he is). You also probably grieved for what the honored 1st could’ve been before GW wrote them to all be paranoid douchebags, and can’t wait for the returned Lion to make some changes around his legion. Also, you’re extremely tone deaf, please learn to read the room yall

Salamanders:

OUT OF THE FIRE, AND UNTO THE ANVIL!

Whilst I’m more of a Blood Angel or Iron Hand myself, I have Immense respect for the sons of Vulkan. You think blacksmithing is cool as fuck and probably watch clips of Forged in Fire, or any of the various Blacksmith YouTubers there are. You also think Fire is cool, and think that Astartes should be nicer to Guardsmen in lore.

Imperial Fists:

As an Iron Warrior simp, suck my toes you Imperial Favorite. Now that that’s out of the way, the Imperial Fists is an entire legion of Engineers including you (probably). You think Emotions only make Simple things Complex and thus think as logically as life will let you, fair enough. Youre as tired of the “Imperial Fists are as cold as their home world” about as much as you are of Perturabo’s complaining, miss your genefather, and can feel the happy chemicals SURGING in your brain looking upon a reinforced defense manned by soldiers who’s only concern is holding the line.

Iron Hand:

As an Iron Hand myself, I know the “daddy issues” joke is fruit hanging lower than Ferrus Manus’s head rolling around on the floor, so I won’t. You’re a lot like an Imperial Fist, critically logical and as stalwart as Iron, but unlike imperial fists you’re allowed to have a personality! Unfortunately that Personality is tempered by a healthy dose of Trauma! Your hatred for the Emperor’s Children is just as violent as the Blood Angels and the Sons of Horus, and you pray Fulgrim gets a model so you can personally shoot him in the mouth.

White Scars:

You’re a vehicle guy, and you like going Fast. You also have a great appreciation for cultures like Feudal Japan, Ancient China, Mongolia, etc. idk what else to put here since I’ve never really… looked into their lore… (-(

Raven Guard:

You’re a quiet person, maybe you’re emo/punk, maybe you like dressing up gothic, but you’re definitely the quiet type. Whether that’s social anxiety or just a person of few words doesn’t matter too much, you vibe with the sad raven boys cuz they’re badasses. Unfortunately I cannot take those beaked helmets seriously.

Space Wolves:

I heard an explanation that I agree with once. You guys have such a rich history, a badass primarch that’s probably gonna return (eventually), and a very well developed Viking aesthetic that Is appreciated by those willing to dig into it… but to everyone on the outside you’re just a furry. And it’s kinda tragic…

Anyways, this is all just my opinion which means obviously this is Fact and should be Definitely taken as such

#in hashtags we trust #warhammer 40k #headcanon #40k #space marines #space marine 2 #warhammer 40000 #scifi #stereotypes #obviously fact #Found the Soundsmith fan

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bonesandthebees · 10 months ago

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I'm not sure if any of this is as important to say as I feel like it is, but just in case, here it is.

Idk about you, but I'm really tired of having things taken from me because the cc's were abusive. I say this with an emphasis on the fact that supporting their victims and condemning their actions is far more important, that I'm not giving that man a single cent anymore. The most important thing the community can do is support the people he hurt. But It's still gonna hurt to purge my playlist because we, as a community, were lied to. And something I derived comfort from, especially in the wake of recent personal events, has been taken from me. Not by the community or by the people coming out; by him and his actions.

So seriously thank you for creating a space for people to talk about what's going on, because it's so easy to feel guilty right now for having feelings about this situation. Especially as a neurodivergent person whose main comfort is music, including music (and YouTube videos) he made.

I just feel like it's important to put this out there. The community as a whole needs to support the victims, but it's also okay to feel betrayed and it's okay to look at his songs in your playlist, dreading deleting them, for a while. No one will hate you for that. You're not a bad person for that. They're just songs or videos, but they're content that mattered to some of us. How dare he ruin that for all of us. How dare he.

Now that I've written a whole entire novel, please take care of yourself. I know I'm an internet stranger but I almost didn't write this because I think that it's important to emphasize that while I'm glad to see Tumblr users creating a space to talk for those of us who don't post and such, I also think it's way more important that your blog be a safe space for you yourself.

- a rambly anon 🪐

yeah, trust me, I'm fucking sick of this too. you're not selfish for feeling upset about deleting his songs from your playlist or not being able to watch vods of his for comfort anymore. you are not a bad person for having an attachment to someone who lied to his audience about who he was. you are human. you are allowed to be upset.

also, to veer slightly from your point but to bring something else up, while I know there are varying opinions on the community in this I personally don't think I want to let this make me stop hoping for people to be good. yes, it might seem like an endless pattern of people you like being revealed to be assholes. and for some people, they might want to leave the community to avoid that disappointment again. for me, I'm not going to put cc's up on a pedestal and expect them to be great people, but I'm not going to expect the worst from them either. keep my expectations realistic, but not pessimistic. content creators are flawed human beings like the rest of us, and sometimes they can be really shitty people, but sometimes they can be good people too. and I'm always going to hope for the latter.

and thank you for thinking of me. honestly the reason I've slowed down answering asks the past few days is precisely because I've been trying to take care of myself. I've gone up and down in terms of how I'm doing, and when I'm not feeling up to it I don't touch my inbox.

and despite everything that's happened this morning, I've had a good day. I got myself a cinnamon roll. I'm drinking green tea and it's sunny out. I saw flowers blooming on the side of the road and it made me smile. focusing on the little things, you know?

#ask #wilbur situation #anon

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blkkizzat · 4 months ago

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I've been a virgin all my life like im talking no masturbation either.

So i tried fingering since my friends said it worked for them and it hurts like a bitch like seriously how do people feel pleasured from this?!?! 🥶

so masturbation on a larger level is self-care so make it apart of a self-care routine... now i usually just take a clit vibe and bust one out (sometimes just to sleep cause insomnia a BITCH lol) but i have a whole routine if i wanna use my fingers or a dildo, etc.

more below~ hjdscdkjfhvskdj not me explaining in detail how i masturbate... lol oh well let's go...

ok so first. set the mood for yourself, especially if you want vaginal penetration it's all about being relaxed enough for it to be enjoyable.

so take a bath, put some nice smelling lotion on, get in your fav undies or if you feel better nude thats fine too. light a candle. grab some lube. if you partake in marijuana, shrooms or alcohol (wine goes straight to my puss) this is an option too, but NOT NECESSARY. but if that is apart of your self care already then include it.

put on some soothing sounds. if you dont have a fav then tantric frequency music works, actually i would suggest this because it will be less distracting and the frequency allows you to connect to your body more.

next take your time. idk if you ever really took the time to explore your body. just touch yourself. but not anywhere sexual so leave your kitty and tiddies alone for a while. you know how in winter if your car been outside you gotta warm it up before you can drive it? its like that.

pleasure is a total body experience, so get your entire body sensitive first. you can make yourself wet without even touching your coochie. dont rush. slow down and really identify how various touch feels. (you can even apply lotion if you want too or body oils if you like)

just close your eyes and trace your body with touch, press, poke, pull, tug, stroke, etc, with various amounts of pressure (feather touch to rough) on various parts. just find what feels good and do that. concentrate on the music and try to find a rhythm. finally when you get to the point you find yourself aching and rubbing legs together then you can start touching more obviously erogenous zones like tiddies and vag. this is important to wait though (the longer you do this the more sensitive you will be, i sometimes do it for 20-30 min of just exploring touch) because the longer you wait to touch the more sensitive and better it will feel.

start with touching your vulva/coochie lips, softly, do what feels good and dont rush. tease around the clit and entrance, but dont touch or penetrate yet. then once ive done that a while thats when you can start touching your clit. sometimes thats more than enough and you will just cum from that and if you dont want to go further dont force it.

its completely normal for initial penetration to hurt or be uncomfortable. even for non virgins if you have done it in a long time you are gonna tighten back up. lube comes in handy make sure to lather the area and fingers good. so its all about now what feels good but since everything is gonna be uncomfortable at first i would just put a finger in there and just be still. dont move it. just get used to it being in there, almost like you're cockwarming your finger fhkjhsdfjkhsdjk. but i do this when i move up dildo sizes and its uncomfortable. i will literally just leave it in there for a while. sometimes ill then disengage and do other things like be on my phone, grab my switch and play somethin hkfgfsdjkhfdshj. but the point is you are just allowing your body to adjust lol. then take it out, theres been times where i havent felt anything pleasurable to until i took it out and then my coochie is like "wait bitch we were comfy and full" and then i start craving it back in. thats when you can experiment with a little motion. or start rubbing at your clit to help. dont do too much too fast and honestly its probably going to take a few tries for you to really feel comfortable with it but the more you do it, the less you need to do to work yourself open and you will be comfortable with what your body needs.

the key is just finding what your body needs to feel good. also you might get emotional or overwhelmed or even cry. not from pleasure but if you've never really masturbated or really explored than your sacral/root chakra is probably a bit blocked. when you release that it can be a bit overwhelming sense thats a huge center for emotions. if you don't know much about it you can learn about it here and here more.

good luck babes!

#ೃ༝💌⁀➷ 𝓀𝒾𝓏𝓏𝒶𝓉мαιℓ #ೃ💌⁀➷𝓀𝒾𝓏𝓏𝒶𝓉αησηѕ #° 🎀 𝒽💍𝑒𝓉𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓉𝒾𝑒𝓈 🎀 °#*✩ 𝓈𝓊𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓎𝒶𝓃🍩𝓃𝓈 🍌

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heavyhitterheaux · 2 years ago

Text

Put a Bounce House In You

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by jackharlow, saweetie, urbanwyatt, 2forwoyne, laflare1017, estgee, softtcurse, danivalentine, and 2,089,446 others

y/ninsta: face you make when hubby took his lyrics a little too seriously and actually did put a bounce house in you but it's okay because you know he'll dick you down whenever you want 🤭

jackharlow: did you think I was lying when I said that? same thing goes for daycare in her throat.

urbanwyatt: here they asses go

2forwoyne: they've gotten worse since she's gotten pregnant. didn't think that was possible smh

y/ninsta: jackharlow no I didn't think you were lying, but uh I didn't expect 3 at one time either smh

jackharlow: y/ninsta no ragrets

normani: jackharlow lmaooo jack shut up lol

saweetie: is the new robe I bought you comfy?!

y/ninsta: saweetie it is, thank you!

jackharlow: saweetie she never wears it for long though lmao

saweetie: jackharlow bunch of nasties! smh

jackandy/naremyparents: okay skin is glowing!

lilnasx: what's in that bag on the side? some whips and chains? 👀

y/ninsta: lilnasx no! that's one of my make up bags!

lilnasx: y/ninsta mm hmm sure. that's what you want us to think

druski2funny: oh? jack be tying you up, y/n?

y/ninsta: druski2funny no. I tie him up. 😏

jackharlow: y/ninsta what the? what the hell is going on?

lilnasx: jackharlow I knew you were a sub lol

jackharlow: y/ninsta since when do you tie me up?! I thought it was the other way around

saweetie: oh it's getting spicy in here

y/ninsta: jackharlow 👀

jackharlow: y/ninsta baby don't get up here and lie, because you already know what's about to happen. pregnant or not.

urbanwyatt: yeah imma head out smh 2forwoyne I'm coming over

2forwoyne: urbanwyatt bring a slice of that cheesecake y/n made this past weekend with you

y/ninsta: 2forwoyne the babies ate it

2forwoyne: y/ninsta YOU MADE AN ENTIRE PAN

jackharlow: 2forwoyne she ate half of it, got sick and then proceeded to throw up everywhere. Then the next day did it all over again. she over there crying because she was tired of throwing up but I was like baby you did this to yourself. I told her ass not to do it. AND THEN ASKED ME TO GO BUY HER TACOS. I WAS LIKE MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

neelamthadhani: jackharlow whatever my girl wants. you better get it for her. ain't nobody playing with you. if she tells me otherwise it's on sight smh

y/ninsta: the people love me 🥰

y/ninsta: jackharlow blame your children and no ragrets. I'd do it again too. that shit was good.

jackharlow: neelamthadhani i swear everyone just throws me under the bus when it comes to her

2forwoyne: y/ninsta well can you make me another one?!

y/ninsta: 2forwoyne no my boobs hurt

quiiso: y/ninsta what the hell does that have to do with anything?

y/ninsta: quiiso idk, everything is just so sensitive on me

jackharlow: y/ninsta including that pussy

y/ninsta: jackharlow will you quit it?! CONTROL YOURSELF 😭

jackharlow: y/ninsta LOOK WHO'S TALKING

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, danivalentine, djdrama, privategarden, nemoachica, 2forwoyne, and 3,760,992 others

y/ninsta: if lost return to wifey which is me. Yall can return Urby to Curse if she wants to take him back that is. Yall see I'm hella pregnant and my husband and best friend just left me in this house by myself? THE FUCKING AUDACITY

jackharlow: PAUSE. NO ONE LEFT YOU BY YOURSELF. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. CUT THE SHIT NEOW

claybornharlow: see, if you were with me you wouldn't be going through this

danivalentine: CLAYBORN!

saweetie: jackharlow who the hell is with her then?!

claybornharlow: 👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯

jackharlow: saweetie dani, jess, and blanca.

jackharlow: AND HOLD ON y/ninsta knew I was going to Boston and told urb to come with me! I didn't even want to go without her! she INSISTED that I did

theestallion: jackharlow sure, jan. jackandy/naremyparents: look at dad! softtcurse: I guess I'll take him back urbanwyatt: softtcurse the hell you mean, you guess? softtcurse: urbanwyatt I'm in Boston too so you better call me once the game is over urbanwyatt: softtcurse since when?! softtcurse: since y/ninsta told me where you two were going and sent me to check on yall because you are two toddlers who cannot be trusted y/ninsta: now, who said that?! would you look at the time! I need to take my prenatal vitamins. kbye. jackharlow: y/n!!!!! get back here! softtcurse: jk, I have a photoshoot I'm doing but... you two do need a chaperone smh

normani: jackharlow you sure we talking about the same person? wifey likes to be attached to you at all times and you are the exact same way smh

y/ninsta: jackharlow oops. pregnancy brain. I forgot about that part. okay yall pay no attention to the caption above. claybornharlow LITTLE BABY!

jackharlow: she stays stressing my ass out and yall don't even hesitate before coming for me smh

saweetie: jackharlow it's outta love tho. gotta keep your ass in check.

jackharlow: saweetie 🙄

claybornharlow: y/ninsta I went to that taco place and got the six different salsas you like with the tacos, street corn, tres leches, and burrito for later.

jackharlow: claybornharlow some of that better be for you because y/ninsta what the actual fuck?! you about to make yourself sick again

y/ninsta: jackharlow your children are hungry!

2forwoyne: clean up on aisle Triple Threat Harlows lmaoooo

y/ninsta: jackharlow I'll be fine, you worry too much. but uhhh you looking real zaddy like in that first pic like you getting ready to punish me for something and who you looking that good for? better be for me and me only and not all these damn cougars

nemoachida: got dammit here they go smh

jackharlow: y/ninsta oh? I am definitely about to do that once I get back and you better be ready for me and it's only you

sza: jackharlow if she isn't throwing up everything she ate that is.

y/ninsta: jackharlow green is definitely your color, but.... I also like seeing you in nothing 😏

jackharlow: y/ninsta get on facetime in 10 minutes

y/ninsta: jackharlow shit, don't have to tell me twice 😜

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, bostonceltics, jaysontatum, saweetie, softtcurse, danivalentine, and 3,082,371 others

y/ninsta: and who the hell you looking at like that because I know for a damn fact it's not me. Wayment don't tell me I gotta compete with Jayson now. That has to be who you're looking at. Say it ain't so 😭 (I'm not mad tho, not hard on the eyes at all)

jackharlow: your pregnancy hormones have me fighting for my damn life out here. outta pocket😭

sza: damn and jayson is cute! slide him my number boo!

y/ninsta: sza he's jack's now. I just have to accept it. it's okay. about to make me raise triplets by myself as a single mother so he can go and live his best life. I gotta take him to court for child support

jackandy/naremyparents: I just knew it was too good to be true! look how jack is looking at him! that look should be reserved for his wife only!

y/ninsta: jackandy/naremyparents you get me baby. you get me.

saweetie: y/ninsta bitch you got me up here fucking SCREAMING. I swear I can't stand your ass lmao

lilnasx: NOT CHILD SUPPORT 😭😭😭😭

danivalentine: y/ninsta you are so bored without your husband and I'm going to need for him to come back home lmao because you have be WILDIN since he left

jackharlow: I always tell yall how she be actin outta pocket but no one believes me

jaysontatum: now ms. first lady, I know better. I know jackharlow is yours even though I did treat him to dinner last night. I don't want no smoke.

y/ninsta: JAYSON YOU TOOK MY MAN TO DINNER?

jaysontatum: y/ninsta had to take him to one of the best restaurants in Boston while he was here! And I let him get the most expensive thing on the menu. I've seen your track record and I know how protective the two of you are over each other. I'll send him back home to you soon.

druski2funny: WAYMENT JACK! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE LIFE PARTNERS AND THIS IS HOW YOU DO ME? FIRST Y/N AND NOW JAYSON?

y/ninsta: jaysontatum make sure he brings me back something expensive like a Birkin or something. nothing too crazy.

dualipa: oh. y/ninsta you know where to find me baby. let Jayson HAVE HIM!

jaysontatum: y/ninsta I got you mamas 😉

jackharlow: y/ninsta BABY! YOU DO NOT NEED ANOTHER BIRKIN! I JUST BOUGHT YOU FOUR MORE!

jackharlow: druski2funny it's not my fault we were going through problems and you didn't want to go to counseling smh

jackharlow: dualipa kick rocks until your toes bleed. I know where you live

jackharlowsource: LMAOOO I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WITH THEM

dualipa: jackharlow PULL UP THEN! I'M HERE!

jackharlow: dualipa see you tomorrow

jackharlow: y/ninsta I know danivalentine did not just text me that you said when you saw a pic of me and jayson you said that you had another tree to climb

y/ninsta: jackharlow *insert mr. krab meme when he looks around confused*

jackharlow: y/ninsta you better be awake when I get back too smh

y/ninsta: pray for my coochie yall, jack about to kill it lmao

saweetie: y/ninsta I swear you get on my nerves lmao

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, jaysontatum, saweetie, djdrama, 2forwoyne, danivalentine, theshaderoom, and 3,872,904 others

y/ninsta: my baby is back just like jaysontatum promised and he told me he's not leaving me for Jayson so mission aborted. I got hella nervous for a minute there 😬

jackharlow: y/ninsta like I could ever leave that pussy behind HOWEVER if we fall out, you already know I'm going to him

y/ninsta: jackharlow shit, I'm coming too

druski2funny: count me in!

jackharlow: this ain't no damn foursome type thing going on! get yall own basketball player!

y/ninsta: jackharlow I would but steph is married and I don't want to break up a happy home. and besides I already have one! hint hint: white men can't jump

jackharlow: y/ninsta I'm ignoring that first part smh

jaysontatum: y/ninsta I told you that he was in good hands! did you get your gift?

y/ninsta: jaysontatum what gift?! jackharlow BABY WHERE MY GIFT AT?

jackharlow: y/ninsta it's me. I'm the gift.

y/ninsta: jackharlow ew. return to sender.

dualipa: yes, boss bitch energy! drop that man!

jackharlowsource: NOT RETURN TO SENDER LMAOOOO

jackharlow: y/ninsta WHAT? AFTER YOU WERE CRYING ON FACETIME TELLING ME YOU MISSED ME LAST NIGHT?! dualipa shut your ass up smh

y/ninsta: jackharlow just kidding pookie!

jackharlow: y/ninsta and why are you always taking pics when I'm sleep?!

y/ninsta: jackharlow because you look so cute and cuddly

urbanwyatt: let me leave to the other side of the house because I already know what's about to happen

jackharlow: urbanwyatt I'm about to go to sleep. nothing is about to happen.

y/ninsta: jackharlow who the fuck told you that? I've been without you for FOUR DAYS. pay me some attention!

jackharlow: y/ninsta call danivalentine!

y/ninsta: jackharlow no she didn't let me get mcdonalds yesterday so she's on my list

danivalentine: y/ninsta to keep you healthy!

y/ninsta: danivalentine my husband's dick does that just fine

theestallion: Y/N PLEASEEEEEE 😭😭😭

danivalentine: y/ninsta and that's why your ass is pregnant with three now smh

y/ninsta: not my fault on the dick I do gymnastics. jackharlow GET OVER HERE NEOW. I want another bounce house in me

jackharlow: jaysontatum send me a plane ticket back to Boston asap jaysontatum: jackharlow so your wife can kill me? nah, she can keep you lmao

Taglist:

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#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow instagram au #instagram au #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fanfiction #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #first lady of pg

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chronicbeans · 2 years ago

Note

Now that we, humble anons, have your approval, i would like to request romantic headcanons for Home. I'm not even attracted to it i just think that'd be hilarious to read, and... Good writing practice i guess? 😂

Surprise me!

Lol! You'd be surprised by how useful it is (at least for me) to try writing the most absurd things and taking it seriously. (Would that count as crack taken seriously? Lol)

Anyways, Here you go! These will probably be one-sided romantic on Home's end.

Romantic Home Headcanons:

TW:... Idk, Home's a literal living house? If you don't want a house crushing on you don't read- but seriously I don't believe there are any triggering topics in this. Lol

🏠 So, like... I have two questions for you. A. How did you get a living house to have a crush on you? B. ... HOW DID YOU GET A LIVING HOUSE TO HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU?

🏠 Like, in this case (because it is not a yandere or anything), it is okay. The most awkward parts are just that, again, it is a living house. It also isn't even YOUR house. It's your neighbor's house. So... visiting Wally is a bit awkward everytime. Especially since he seems to be trying to get you and Home together... Look, he just wants his house to be happy, alright?

🏠 Home doesn't know that you know it has a crush on you. To everyone, however, it is very obvious. Home is usually a very "shy" house, as in, it doesn't interact with people often besides the creaks and groans it emits from the wood. It usually only interacts with Wally, and only when it is just the two of them. Home DOES interact with you, know. Quite a lot, too. This amount of interaction, alongside the small amount of expression Home can make from the outside with its eyes, has clued basically everyone in on its feelings for you.

🏠 So, how does Home interact with someone? From one of my VERY old Headcanons, I mentioned that Home can move the furniture that came with it when Wally moved in. This includes things like the curtains, the couch, the blanket draped across the couch (which Wally liked enough to begin using as his bedsheet. It is very soft, surprisingly!), and even a few of the chairs. So, Home uses whatever it can move around to interact with you!

🏠 You tend to do some chores around Home whenever you visit. Wally takes good care of the house, but even he can't help missing a few spots when cleaning. It's almost like he goes into chaos mode when he paints. He'd be painting in the little studio he has, then by some miracle, there is paint splattered all over the kitchen. So, you try to help out while you can. Home is a living being, after all. Feeling dirty and not being able to wash off must suck.

🏠 It was after a few of these times that you began noticing Home being more affectionate. One day, while washing the wall by the windows, you were suddenly wrapped up in the curtains, almost like a blanket. You were let go as soon as they wrapped around you, but it did make you a bit confused. Was that a good or a bad thing? When you told Wally what happened, he simply cooed "AWWW! Home likes you! Yay!"

🏠 If you had to make a guess, all of the cleaning, decorating for holidays, and overall time spent in and around Home made it like you. You come over more often than the other neighbors, just to help Wally care for it. You even came up with the idea of celebrating the day Wally moved into Home, almost like a birthday! Home doesn't really have a birthday, but everyone else does, so why can't the neighborhood come up with a holiday just for Home? Home must've found it sweet and kind of you!

🏠 Now, everytime you visit, you are usually hugged (wrapped up in curtains or blankets), snuggled (wrapped up in ANYTHING Home can wrap you in, all at once. You usually look like you are in a cocoon), helped out with chores (random doors in Home will open, helping you find things, such as carpet cleaner, sanitizer, brooms, and mops), and thanked for your work (the random creaks and groans that Home tends to emit. They freak you out)! It isn't much, but it is all Home can do. For now.

#welcome home #welcome home arg #welcome home x reader #home x reader #i can't believe i made this #but it was so much fun #lol

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dorkfruit · 1 year ago

Text

i put this together using my computer's trackpad so the new year is already starting out . bad .

posts: J | F | M | A | M | J | J | A | S | O | N | D

template

reflections on the year, my plans for the future, some studies i did, and wips for the next year all down below for those who are interested

tldr; we will be ianthing next year so watch out!!

oh dear lord it's been another year. 2024! can you believe it! i don't talk much on this blog because i have a tendency to talk too much, but it's my little new year's treat, so here we go.

RECAP

i started taking drawing "seriously" in December of 2020, starting to do studies and stuff, and each year since i've ramped it up more and more. this year, i did. a lot of studies. there's probably like at least 200 more in my folder now (not including the 300 days worth of gesture drawings i did), with things like painting, faces, feet, poses, etc. anything i was struggling with, i went right into studying it. my art has been mediocre for a pretty long time now, and it's only the past few months where i feel i'm starting to get the hang of it, which is exciting!

more importantly, i started posting a lot more on this blog. i really like documenting my progress, looking on where i was before and seeing how i've improved. everytime i draw some fanart, im like, oooghh i can't wait to show my (: followers (: !! lots of locked tomb art of course. i've been trying to nail the energy of the different characters, which is why i enjoy books so much, because you get a lot of creative control. drawing ianthe is my fav of course, cause she's my lil nasty, but also i enjoyed doing designs for characters i hadnt thought about before, like judith.

in addition to the locked tomb, we had some new fandoms that got brief moments in between iantheposting: Fear and Hunger, Postal, Faith The Unholy Trinity, and a couple of old ones too, like We Have Always Lived In The Castle and The Merciless.

i posted about 115 times this year, although most of those are shitposts LOL i love posting stuff on my blog and showing people my stuff <3

THE FUTURE

my plans? do more ianthe art, of course. ill be working on more studies, probably going to work on developing a style, and figuring out how to paint. i'd like to do more actually finished pieces, but let's be honest, it'll still be mostly shitpost doodles. i'd like to do more weird stuff. i've been messing around with some gore and NSFW near the end of the year, and it's fun to draw for me. i like idk art that evokes some type of emotion, especially discomfort, and so i find that type of art fun to do, so if you don't enjoy what i've done thus far in that direction, perhaps this isn't the blog for you. i really like horror media, and so i want to do some stuff like that too.

for specifics, i like western type art, a comic book-esque style i'd like to aim for. but i'd like it to be a little more. weird with it. i find comic books often draw all the characters the same, and make all the characters traditionally attractive, and that's boring to me so i'll have to work on finding a way to keep things weird, while also appealing in a graphic sense. the worst thing my art could be is bland and forgettable.

locked tomb wise... more tridentarii art. need to be really weird with it. i have lots of wips planned, like i have a whole page worth of just thumbnails, so i wanna get some of those done. also i had a few animatics i wanted to do. mostly stupid shit, once i learn how to do animatics, then we'll do actual serious ones. id also like to do more comics. i have some comics storyboarded out with my girlies, i like telling a story so, need practice on that. id also like to develop a way to consistently draw them, for convenience sakes, so i'm not fighting for my life every single time i draw these characters. oh and i wanna do some outfit stuff. i draw them in like. generic clothes everytime but i'd like to come up with a few actual outfit designs, that i can just reference back to. and, of course, more shitposts. lots of stupid shit in 2024 for sure. there was something else i wanted to say here but i can't remember.

ART

oki enough rambling, here's some IMAGES for yall to look at i know everyone loves to look at images.

began this year by warming up with gesture sketches (almost) every day. i started with 20 poses (30 seconds each), and then in november i was like. ugh my hands suck i need to get better at hands, so i switched to doing 10 hand sketches (60 seconds each). i want my art to be very energetic so it's important that i do these !!

anatomy studies of extremities because i'm flopping at those -_- ive gotten better with hands but they're still a struggle. i hate feet tho still

need to get my painting game up. i joined an art forum to get advice, and the biggest suggestion i got was working on my values, so i did various value studies. also lots of faces because my faces flop !!

random doodles to work on drawing from imagination. on my "sketchbook" pages, as i like to call them, i'm usually pretty loose and messy, since the point is just to be drawing so often these will suck, but that's fine. i don't think very much when i draw faces on here either so they end up being in my Instinctive Style i suppose you could say

ianthe wip. i was planning to do a few drawings based on the idea of her having Missing Arm nightmares, but the lineart was intimidating to me so i haven't worked on this one more yet /: also there was going to be a toontown gay homosexual toxic yuri comic that i was gonna put here with it but the page is way too long so umm guess that'll have to wait.

...

anyways. thank you for reading if you got to the bottom of this! i appreciate all the support that i've been getting lately (extra big kissies for the same like 5 people who always reblog my posts youre the best). and we will be ianthing soo hard in 2024 so watch out!!

#and god bless. there is not a single background in any of these images. sketch on a white bg foreverz!!#my art #art meme #ianthe tridentarius #really got to tag her here bc . all this art is of her LOL #art recap

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sigyn-foxyposts · 3 months ago

Text

My personal thoughts on "Twilight of the gods season 1"

Before reading I just want to say that these are my opinions alone! By no means am I saying this show can't be your thing, it just wasn't mine when it came to certain parts! Also what I'll be covering can be a bit of a sensitive topic to some. Such as race and sexual topics, I'm here to defend not hate 💚

Art by my darling @sparrowmp4 💚

Pros:

Starting off with the best is the animation and art style! It's smooth and full of movement, absolutely breathtaking! It will truly keep you watching, just to enjoy it. Character design's are pretty good too, though some could've been done better and were in general a bit bland.

It felt boring In a way when you could've done more but I understand it would be hard on the animators. The scenery they chose fits the with the setting of the story they're trying to tell. In all honestly done very well, excellent!

I really appreciate the references to actual mythology and my culture! There wasn't much culture other than how things looked in certain villages but things such as the retellings of the stories we got from written and oral traditions, it made me very happy seeing them here!

I also heavily appreciate the inclusion of Loki's struggles amongst the gods, with himself struggling being "a scapegoat god" and the focus on him trying to save his children from their fate. As well as the portrail on how not even gods are perfect!

They clearly did their research on Loki's character and knew what the fans wanted! I just wish we got even more, but it was rushed and in conclusion a bit shallow. Still, the effort is there & i eat what I get!

I love the representation of minorities in the series. Such as people of color and their different or even mixed heritages! Same goes for different identities and sexualities. They weren't afraid to shy away from bisexuality and transgender representation, which was very common back then and throughout history!

I did enjoy certain characters like the Seid Kona, Egil, Leif and Loki's development throughout the story and how they were written! But again was all bit rushed..

Cons:

They missed out on showing us a lot more gods and how Ragnarok actually went down, even if most of us know by now..where was fumbulvinter for example? And I don't like when people take certain mythology media as fact, it's the biggest issue I have when it comes to modern media taking on mythology and folklore in general.

Do it right, if not then let it be!

While I love the representation we got of POC people, the way it's ONLY set in a norse setting bothers me. Yes, the story is centerd around the norse but like..we could have had more representation of other cultures too just saying! They were traveling so much, even a reference would've been nice.

No what we get instead, which yeah can work since the vanir are magic and nature based is plant people (I get the thought behind it!) They make the representation we want plant people. Where only two vanir members that look human.. are people of color. What was the point of all that seriously!

Where are the other people of color..?

Now don't get me wrong, Tyra makes sense in this case because we don't know where she came from and that leaves thing for interpretation, I absolutely love that! What's very icky was that Freyja who is presented as a black woman here, is Tiwaz's sister (Basically Freyr idk why his name is a rune now..) and called herself a slave when talking about how Odin married her for her magic... Yikes!

I didn't appreciate how Fafnir was slain either and the fact Sigird killed Baldr when Hodr could've been included so easily in the battle. I honestly think Freyr, Hodr, Hoenir and many more deserve justice, especially those who were completely forgotten like Idunn, Nanna, Forseti, Thrud ect.

Oh and dont get me started on Angrboda and Sigyn here, I'm just happy Boda even got an appearance in the first place, but that isn't enough to be honest! Like all she did was be the poor mother who couldn't protect her children, nothing more to her character even though she's from the ironwoods that we saw in this series.. where was she after those events?! Most likely dead, which would add up. Let's hope Sigyn gets a better appearance!

I don't mind original characters but..when it comes to the point in retellings, do it in a way that makes sense please!! Make the original characters for example meet Sigurd, Fafnir's slayer instead of killing him off! What would their interaction be like? While I understand the main plot and focus was on Sigird taking her revenge on Thor.

It felt a bit boring.. Like yeah, girlboss with a tragic backstory and she can't cry. It feels a bit Mary Sue of her, not only that but they're a bit over powered too!

Here comes another part I've been dreading..the "interesting" interpretation of Jormi and Thor's fate to kill each other at Ragnarok. It felt very forced and weird making them have a sexual relationship, like sure it's a creative twist I guess but..the way the prophecy claimed that Ragnarok would end the gods if Jörmungandr would spill Thor's seed. That's not at all the case and just disgusting!

What hurts me the most about this topic is Loki's attempts to take her place, but how the prophecy wasn't meant for him. Killing Thor was the only way to free their family, so even if it meant death, she did what had to be done. Worse, she was only a child when Thor physically beat her when she tried defending her family..i didn't need that!

This plot felt more like an excuse to add in more sex to a show with too many of those scenes already! Than giving the representation that matters, people forced to do these things just to help their family.

I'll admit Thor's portrayal was somewhat accurate, it just wasn't done the way I had expected it! (Take that as you will)

Yes he has flaws and the gods aren't perfect! Yes, he is a brute who murdered many jotuns and drinks lots of mead with an appetite. Yes, he has anger issues.. And yes he cheated on Sif. That doesn't mean he has to abuse his own kid or have his marriage with Sif go that low. What's worse is when you realize Sif knows he is activity cheating and letting herself be insulted by Thor. When she literally wants Thor dead, she admits she also needs him for the sake of her purpose.

Now, toxic relationships are real and this is a great example but keep in mind that in actual mythology he was willing to break every bone in Loki's body for him simplely cutting off her hair! And he has a tendency to be over protective of his family like in the story where Alvis purposes to Thrud, his daughter! His characterization is certainly something and I hope we get more because when he started crying over his issues and actions.

It screamed, toxic masculinity in my face.

I don't know what was happening behind the scenes but the relationships were developing a bit fast and while I don't mind starting a story on a relationship, the way things were going between Leif and Sigird didn't make me feel much for them in the end. Yeah it's not easy to be a perfectly functioning couple after you lost your whole family because you two were getting married. But when he comforts you, saying you're allowed to grieve and follows you on your revenge trip even though he didn't want to but did it for you!

Also I love my poly rep but making Thyra be a part of their already dysfunctional relationship was a bad move. Thanks for the fake hope you gave Leif actually living a better life with just her. It was so obvious she was into women from the start..why??

I had to sympathize with Leif even more when Sigrid physically hurt him, all because he opened up about what he felt and was done with her crap. Sadly that sympathy went away the moment he decided to waste everything on a woman that cared more about revenge then him.

Finally last point, I very much dislike how characters we were supposed to bond with get killed off so suddenly? Not only weren't they fully developed like Ulfr and Anvari but they had to die for what? Do they come back for the plot later on because I'd certainly hope so!

I don't know if they'll make up for all of these plot lines but since it landed on a cliff hanger, it's definitely coming back. Let's cross our fingers for season 2 to be better and clear things up!! Thank you for reading 💚🤞

#twilight of the gods #twilight of the gods season one #twilight of the gods spoiler #ratatag #ranting #review #trigger warning #tw: violence #tw: sex mention #tw: abuse #tw: slavery #tw: discussion of race

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