#idk maybe because of like. how depressing the worst endings are

[taylorshope]

This is definitely a controversial opinion but I almost feel worse killing characters in Little Hope than in the other games?

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)

[yuunnikko]

Saying Goodbye to My Mask event on project sekai may have been a premonition of having my own mental health tank to the same level as Mafuyu's because well. Let's just say. The depression. (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

[milo-is-rambling]

Redyed my hair (a slightly deeper pink shade but basically the same) and now I’m laying in bed thinking about all the ways I’ve changed who I am and what I believe over the years and I don’t recognize who I was when I was young but I sympathize with them even more than I ever thought I could I just don’t think of those pictures of me as actually being me because my mind has always been this and I’m sure years from now I won’t recognize myself now because obviously my mind has always been whoever I am then

[schrodingers-romy]

You Don’t Gotta Hold Me Down, Baby (I Know How to Sink) [Shidou Ryusei x Reader]

Pairing: Shidou Ryusei x GN!Reader Word Count: ~1800 [Ao3 Link]

Summary: Ryusei is used to feeling empty at the end of the day; at least, until he has you.

Warnings: crying, some light depression i think from shidou, kisses, reader and ryusei are both lonely and weird idk what to tell you, no gendered pronouns/terms used for reader, gratuitous petnames, some innuendo but nothing sexual/heated happens

Notes: I read in the character book line where he 'cries at the end of the day when he becomes nothing' and I haven't stopped thinking about it. I sincerely hope it's in character but idk. I love him anyways tho and I had fun writing this <3 Title is a lyric from RELAX AFTER WORK WITH A DRINK by Lilyisthatyou.

At the end of the day, Shidou Ryusei becomes nothing.

During the day, lit by the radiance of the sun, he was something. He was in control of his own destiny, a daredevil chasing the high of the next explosion. Whether that explosion came from kicking a soccer ball or kicking some slime’s face in was irrelevant; it was the rush of endorphins it gave him that was important. He was in peak form, the predator at the top of the food chain, devouring the opportunities the world had gifted him, glutting himself on whatever adrenaline high presented itself. But it never lasted; the explosive energy he had faded to nothing at the end of the day, pleasure slipping through his fingers like smoke in the wind, escaping him with the escaping daylight. After sunset, he was left empty, void of any sort of vitality; like a combustion engine with no fuel to light, he was left stiff, and cold, and useless. Forgotten.

He didn't even bother trying to stay up much past sunset, most days. Even with the sun’s lingering warmth rising from the earth during the night, it was always too cold for him, without the light shining on him. He was a photosynthetic organism, relying on sunlight to create his own sustenance in the form of his explosions.

Ryusei liked to think that the faster he went to sleep, the faster he would see the sun again.

It even worked, sometimes.

But sometimes it didn't. Sometimes he lay there for hours, too tired to do anything, and too tired to sleep. It was a bone-deep exhaustion, one that made his joints ache dully, and his eyes stay stuck open, as tears dripped freely down from them onto the thin and faded material of his pillowcase. Those nights, he desperately waited for the sun to return, so he could come back to life. So he could go back to seeking some way to make himself feel. And maybe he would be lucky enough to somehow make his mark on the world, so he would no longer fade from it every night like a mirage.

But he hadn’t made a mark on the world yet. He had yet to make something of himself.

So, at night, Shidou Ryusei would cry as he became nothing.

-

You were both a particular brand of lonely.

Something in the both of you had noticed each other; like calling to like. You were too close for people who had known each other for such a short period of time; it would be concerning, if either of you cared. But you didn’t, so you spent your days attached at the hip. Gorging yourselves on the attention of the other, desperate creatures starved for the acknowledgement and understanding that you had only ever found in each other.

It wasn’t an understanding borne of explicit conversation; the two of you had discussed almost everything under the sun and moon, but you both excelled at skirting the razor’s edge of baring your issues fully. Whether it was because neither of you understood your own mind yourself, or because some sort of animal instinct in you just understood each other without having to spill the gore of your worst feelings, it was unclear. It didn’t really matter, anyways. You were two sides of the same corroded coin, two pieces of a defective puzzle that could only ever fit together.

-

It was past midnight, and you were exhausted. The noise from the television was nothing more than the canned background hum to Ryusei's presence. The true focus of the scene was his flickering gaze and the hot press of his thighs against yours. You were sitting so close you could nearly count every single one of his numerous blond lashes. The shadows they cast on his cheeks were hypnotizing to you, and you found yourself leaning into him, with a combination of your own sleepiness and the dizzy, floaty sensation you always felt when you were this close to him casting you off balance. You could not help yourself from leaning further in, until you were falling into him. Your cheek landed pressed onto the warmth of his exposed collarbone, where his oversized shirt collar had slipped down to reveal tanned skin. You let out a heavy sigh, nuzzling into him, as he wrapped his arms around you to pull you ever closer to his heated body.

“Tired, babes?” he asked, the uncharacteristic deep, slow tone to his voice betraying his own sleepiness.  

“Mhmm hmm,” you mumbled. “Too tired to go home. I’m staying here tonight.”

With anyone else, you wouldn’t have been so bold as to invite yourself to stay the night for the first time. But everything was different with Ryusei. You could be as bold as you wanted, take what you wanted, without fear of ridicule or rejection or anger. He would just give you a particular feral grin, when you asserted yourself, that made you feel confident and on top of the world.

It’s only because you’re so close that you felt the slight hitch in his breath. He covered it nearly seamlessly with his usual attitude. “Of course! I’d love to have you spend the night with me, sexy~”

You nipped lightly at his collar bone, chastising. “Just sleeping, Ryu, no innuendo intended.”

“Aww, how can you say that, after putting your teeth on me,” he whined, teasing. “You know that gets me going, sugar…”

“I want you to get going. To sleep,” you retorted. “I’m tiredddd.” You let your voice trail into a childish whine.

“Can’t have that, can we?” Ryusei shifted, sliding one arm underneath your thighs and one behind your back to lift you up into a bridal carry. “Do I have Your Highness’s permission to take you to bed? I promise not to have my wicked way with you there. Knight’s honor.”

“Ah, why would I not trust my most loyal knight? Take me away, good sir.”

Ryusei grinned wide enough to show gums, before carrying you out of the living room with surprising gentleness.

(Though it wasn’t entirely surprising, to you.)

-

The room was dark, aside from the weak, silvered light of the moon and stars that leaked from Ryusei’s uncovered window. It was just bright enough for you to see the faintest details of his face.

He looked softer, hair down, kohl washed away, venomous pink eyes half-lidded; a sort of physical representation of how he bared himself to you. You were compelled to pull him closer to you, until you could bury your face into his product-free hair. You let out a contented hum at feeling the abnormal silkiness of it.

You were so comfortable; you felt like you were melting into the mattress. It had been forever since you had gone to sleep feeling so relaxed (and safe, and not alone); you couldn’t be blamed for nearly drifting off the second you laid down with Ryusei in your arms.

You were almost gone, slipping into dreamland by the pull of the gentle hands of Morpheus, when you felt Ryusei begin to tremble in your arms.

It was like a switch had been flipped, removing sleep from the edges of your mind like the swipe of an eraser on a chalkboard. You were immediately focused on him.

“Ryusei? Are you okay?” you whispered, a sliver of panic slipping into your voice.

You could feel him shaking slightly in your hold, arms wrapped in a vice grip around you, face pressed tightly into your neck, hiding his expression from you. You felt a drip of wetness fall onto your skin and slip down.

He was crying.

“Baby,” you murmured, hugging his lax body even closer to yours, like you could tuck him away into your ribcage, safe and sound. “Ryu, darling, what’s wrong?” You felt off-balance, perhaps for the first time since you had met. Your understanding did not extend to this, not when he had so carefully pirouetted around any true pain he felt when you talked.

He gripped you tighter for a moment, fingers digging into your skin hard enough to leave bruises, before he relaxed his hold. “Nothin’s wrong.” He lifted his head to look at you.

The tear trails on his face were lit up like liquid drips of mercury in the moonlight. But he didn’t look devastated, as you expected; instead, he had the smallest, softest smile you had ever seen him wear. Even in the half-light, his gaze was soaked in so much affection, he looked love-drunk. It rendered you speechless.

“Y’know,” he laughed wetly, “I usually cry, at night. When I become nothing.” He took a deep, shuddering breath.

You lifted one hand to his face, wiping away the fresh flow of tears that leaked from his glittering eyes. Your eyebrows were creased, a pang going through your heart at his words.

But he wasn’t done, pausing only to nuzzle his cheek further into your hand, like a housecat. “Still cryin’, tonight, but I’m not sad. Y’see babes? I’m not sad. I don’t feel like nothing, I feel happy. Happy tears, sweetheart, just cause tonight I’m with you.” He giggled, hiccupping slightly as his laughter caught on the tears still welling up.

You gaped at Ryusei for a moment, before you yanked him into a kiss. It wasn’t the best kiss ever, still wet with his tears, barely more than a firm press of mouths together before you release him.

He grinned at you for a moment, before dropping back down onto you, boneless. “I feel drunk. Like I’m high. Crossfaded. On you, babe!~” he blabbered, sing-song. “It’s not an explosion, it’s a bonfire inside of me! Shit, this might be better than playing. Or fighting. I might even be a little horny right now, I can’t tell.”

“God, you’re so weird, Ryu.” You punctuated your statement with a firm kiss to his forehead, making an exaggerated ‘mwah’ sound that drew a giggle from the man on top of you. “I love you. I’m gonna be with you forever. I’ll move in, and we’ll sleep together every night, you’ll never feel like nothing again.”

“Maybe I AM horny…horny off of love…emotionally horny?” he rambled. “Fuck, I don’t know, babe, but I love you too, and I’m never gonna let your pretty ass go now, y’hear?”

“Perfect. We’ll become one organism. Symbiosis. Like lichen,” you breathed.

Ryusei let out a lovesick sigh. “Love it when you talk sexy to me.”

You felt one of his hands drift down to squeeze one of your ass cheeks.

You let out an exasperated, but fond sigh. “Ryusei. Go to sleep.”

“Okay honey~” he said, letting out a little giggle into your collarbone.

(And for the first time in years, neither of you fell asleep feeling empty, or lonely; and you would wake up to find joy in the sunrise together.)

[xflixer7]

all of my yellowjacket headcannons (so far)

word count is like a trillion ok i’m not counting all of this

hi it’s been 8 months i finally counted (1865 words)

lottie

she/her transfem! lesbian bottom (i wanna eat her whole)

-schizophrenic

-definitely has some type of ocd

-ptsd

-autistic because i say so

started playing soccer when she was little

will actually go insane is you steal any of her clothes if you look at her she will actually be drooling with heart eyes

plays piano

also knows violin because her parents made her take it doesn’t play is anymore though

lottie isn’t jealous but very protective

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-phoebe bridgers

-clairo

-#1 laufey fan on the world

-fiona apple

unironically knows every katy perry song by heart because she used to be her favorite when she was little

her room is huge

likes putting her hair in pigtails

golden retriever girlfriend she’s so sweet ugh and loves to spend time and money on her person you always staying at her house would literally kiss the ground the person she is dating walker on if they asked her too:((

also the worst cooker you ever met like how did you fuck up toast why is the smoke alarm going off??

favorite color is blue

lottie definitely has a hairstylist she goes too every month to get permed and there really close i can see her telling them about ALL the school drama

lottie wants write story’s when she’s older maybe romance or mystery idk but i can just imagine her having a typewriter and writing you story’s she has wanted to do it since she was a kid and is very passionate about it:((

what i think her favorite shows are:desperate housewives,american horror story,sailer moon

so scared of horror movie like she will start crying

her favorite characters are:

-emily (corpse bride)

-bree (desperate housewives)

-starfire (teen titans)

always goes on and on about how she’s bubblegum and your marceline she LOVES adventure time

her favorite movie is bridge to terabithia

lotties favorite animal is a bunny and she really wants a pet bunny

BEGS you to give her your bra and your confused but you give it too her and she makes a bracelet out of it and wears it practically every day proudly

also think that lottie is a great artist? like sketching and painting wise

nat

SAY IT WITH ME transmasc! (he/they) definitely bi because i say so

-depressed

-dyslexic

-ptsd

started playing soccer in middle school

LOVES christmas like has an unhealthy obsession with it (tries to act like he doesn’t)

northern italian knows the language pretty well also a great cook

wants to play electric guitar

his favorite (modern!) singers are

-tyler the creator

-radiohead

-alex g

-hole

-is so obsessed with mistki don’t even get me started

randomly painted his room black one day when he was bored

usually prefers his hair down

you give him haircuts he doesn’t trust anyone else someone definitely fucked up his hair once and he never went back

his favorite color is black or gray

just wants to be famous tbh but he wants to be in a band

what i think his favorite shows are:rick and morty,bojack horseman,shameless

LOVES horror movies and reality tv like 90 day fiancé and the kardashions (his guilty pleasure)

also likes claymation

his favorite characters are

-ash (fantastic mr fox)

-alyssa (the end of the fucking world)

-coraline (coraline)

his favorite movie is little miss sunshine

nat’s favorite animal is a panther he saw one in the jungle book when he was little and just thought it looked cool

always headcannoing characters as trans like finn from adventure time or jeff from clarence he’s so cute:((

nat skateboards too definitely not great at it but does it when he’s bored

jackie

(she/her) jackie is just a bratty pillow princess lesbian you can’t fool me

-adhd asf

-neurodivergent for sure

-ptsd

started playing soccer because she was bored eighth grade tbh i don’t think she likes it as much as the others but she thinks it’s fun

chronic hoodie stealer

this girl is a vegetarian for sure

jackie is jealous always period

her gay ass button ups bro

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-ariana grande her fav

-rihanna

-billie eilish

-harry styles

-lana del ray

pretty mainstream music taste

all pink room it’s very like coquette?

ponytail girl but also enjoys her hair down

favorite color is light pink duh

wants to be a makeup guru or just stay at home honestly she hates working

what i think her favorite shows are:euphoria, grays anatomy,glee,vampire diaries

i think she likes very drama files shows and will rant about tv show characters and there dynamics and why she think that there like that and etc for HOURS

ughhh jackie is such a girls girl like she is the friend who always has your back and has gum or a tampon for you she is the friend who would check you on your period

her favorite characters are:

-maddy (euphoria)

-regina (mean girls)

-winnie the pooh (she thinks he’s cute)

her favorite movie is DEFINITELY jennifer’s body

jackie is a cat lover and has 2 i can see her with a orange and a gray cat and they always fight

shauna

DEFINITELY bi (she/her)

-bipolar

-ptsd

joined soccer with jackie in eighth grade

has like thousands of boxers

russian

knows how to play saxophone (she doesn’t even know how she learned she just did) she doesn’t own one though

so jealous but never says anything (this girl cannot communicate to save her life)

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-the cranberries

was so mad when they got popular on tiktok and had to let everyone know they where her fav since day 1 (everyone knew)

-suki waterhouse

-cigarettes after sex

-never got over halsey since 2017

-the smiths

(a TRUE music lover over here)

she honestly doesn’t care how her room looks but it’s never clean

doesn’t do anything with her hair really

dark green is her favorite color

shauna’s hair may seem simple but she’s VERY picky about how it’s cut and is always worried there gonna cut it bad so she gets it cut like twice a year(she always ends up hating it)

she wants to be some sort of doctorate she’s fascinated by the human body so i can see her wanting to be a surgeon

what i think her favorite shows are:good girls, queens gambit,13 reasons why

her favorite characters are:

-velma (chicago)

-cassie (euphoria)oh the parallels…

-amy (gone girl)

her favorite movie is chicago (loves musicals)

a simple gal she really likes dogs

taissa

she/her lesbian

-anxiety

-ptsd

joined soccer in fifth grade

mixed (duh)

used to be in the marching band

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-frank ocean

-post malone

-has a soft spot for shawn mendas has all of his albums

-really enjoys 60’s music so she really likes the beetles

her room is pretty big too not huge on decorating

doesn’t care about hair like at all will wear a headband sometimes

a good girlfriend like if your cold she will give you her jacket type she has a temper never jealous either girlfriend material she’s the type you would want your kid to date y’know?

respectful to adults gets good grades and stuff

her favorite color is like a pearlescent white and everyone is like what the hell is that (she is trying to be different this is one of my favorite colors😿)

cuts her own hair thinks it’s overpriced and dumb to have someone professionally do it

tai wants to be something important like president or some shit i can see her being a lawyer

what i think her favorite shows are:the umbrella academy,big mouth,skins

tai only watches skins and euphoria type shows because she loves the drama

her favorite characters:

-hermoine (harry potter)

-patrick (perks of being a wallflower)

-nadine (edge of seventeen)

her favorite movie is the 6th harry potter movie she also thinks it’s the most underrated

she likes tigers

van

she/her and lesbian duh

-ptsd

joined soccer kinda randomly in seventh grade

irish

plays the trumpet but is kinda embarrassed by it

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-bruno mars

-tori amos

-girl in red duh

-david bowie

-was ziggy stardust for halloween when she was 8

can’t convince me her room is not painted red

doesn’t care about hair either puts in a ponytail to keep it out of her face

is a great girlfriend all the same traits as taissa except not the best at school she’s honestly surprised she graduated

favorite color is red

her uncle cuts her hair for like five bucks out of his garage also i definitely think she used to have a bowl cut when she was little

doesn’t really care about money she just wants to be happy wants to own a record store or be a professional soccer player

speaking of records she definitely has a lot of collections like lowkey a hoarder…but her stuff is cool though! like funky pops hot wheels cd’s records etc

what i think her favorite shows are:beavis and butthead, avatar, south park

mostly likes adult animation

her favorite characters are:-harley (suicide squad)-ron (harry potter)-beast boy (teen titans)

her favorite movie is the bee movie or lego batman there cinematic masterpieces

van likes pigeons for not particular reason she just thinks there funny looking

i can see van as a surfer too like her dad definitely is one also i can imagine her being really close with her dad and they have a local family business bakery:((

misty

she/her and idk her sexually like i genuinely have no idea

-autistic

-ptsd

always wanted to be on the team but knew she was bad at sports

german definitely

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-any female kpop band

-justin bieber

-pink-

melanie martenz is her favorite forever

light purple room has justin bieber posters everywhere

lowkey forgets she has hair whenever people comment on it she’s like “oh yeah!”

very obsessive of you and loves you almost too much sometimes you think it’s creepy but than your like “awww she’s so cute”

likes the color yellow

her favorite colors are brown and orange (there her favorite because she feels bad everyone calls them ugly)

i can see her being a k-pop stan too

(her bias in bts is j-hope)

also is a famous editer on tiktok and no one knows😭her username is like “gxxbflix” or some shit

literally has had one haircut in her life like it never grows?

i see her as a pharmacist

what i think her favorite shows are:walking dead,mlp,monster high

has SO many online friends

definitely loves romance anime

she’s in like every fandom ever because she wants to have online friends and be included on discord😭

plays clarinet

is in band

favorite characters:

-cruella (cruella)-alice (alice in wonderland)-edward (edward sciccor hands)

and mistys favorite movie is alice through the looking glass (because it shows the queen of hearts back story and misty loves her)

and misty likes birds duh

those are my headcannons for them i know it’s a lot but i’m obsessed ok send requests if you have any please

-🙈

[chutkiandchotte]

One more rant time!!! Or more like, Anjali appreciation? Idk take it as anything.

(I feel like I only ever come here to rant, but what can I say? I do love a good rant lol.)

Anyway I've been speed reading through a bunch of IPKKND fics lately (as one does to ~~cope~~) and I just hate how many people just fundamentally misunderstand and negatively judge Anjali's character.

Its really simple when it comes down to it - Anjali loves Shyam with the same passion, loyalty, and commitment that Khushi loves Arnav and Arnav loves Khushi by the end of the serial. Just imagine, if some one came along and told (happily married) Khushi that Arnav is cheating on her, tried to marry someone else, and had her sibling kidnapped and almost killed, would she believe them for a second? No! No evidence would ever convince her of that and vice versa. Its an absolutely WILD story to be told about your pious, sanskaari, soft-spoken, madly in love with you husband who has, thus far in your eyes, done nothing wrong except been maybe a little too busy at work.

Anjali is just as fucked up as Arnav by the trauma they went through. There's a reason she is so quick to harm herself and loses all perspective when viscerally reminded of the single worst moment of her life. What's funniest of course is the people who have immense understanding for Arnav's trauma and pain, don't give a damn about Anjali's. They keep harping on about everything (aka material benefits) which Arnav did for Anjali, while discounting the emotional support she also provided for him through those years. Because only material benefits count in relationships? Emotional IQ is nothing?

Anjali is a good sister! She looks after Arnav, takes care of his needs, monitors his health. She gives him the freedom to make his choices (unlike Nani), but she does advice him as per her understanding. She gently tries to guide him to resolve his trauma and move forward in life, but doesn't succeed probably because its beyond her paygrade. Even in the depths of her depression and confusion, she feels delighted to know that Arnav LOVES Khushi, something she worried would never happen for him (and its clear she was previously worried that their marriage happened only due to uncontrollable attraction gone wrong).

They do have a slightly unhealthy level of co-dependency, but it makes perfect sense when you consider what happened in their childhood. Anjali and Arnav are each other's emotional cornerstone for a reason. And by the end of the show, they have each moved beyond the unhealthy aspects of their relationship.They have a really complex and interesting sibling bond, and ultimately a beautiful one.

Anjali is the one character who suffered the MOST, lost the most, from the entire cast of characters. The pain she went through, that too being an exact repeat of what her mother went through, is unimaginable. And for absolutely no mistake of her own.

[nxtt2-u]

roses

everything red is a cold reminder of what felix once had.

lee felix x fem!reader, 0.9k words, sfw

cw: breakup aftermath, angst/hurt no comfort (i think? idk, felix’s pov, some swearing

a/n: inspired by jaehyun’s roses. ik this is short & not that good but i got a random burst of motivation and birthed this so… yeah :-)

ʚɞ

It’s been four months since you broke up with Felix.

Felix knows it’s better for the both of you — he truly does. That knowledge still doesn’t it make it sting any less when he occasionally discovers an old item that belongs to you around the dorm he shares with Seungmin.

The most recent thing he found was one of your lipsticks. Red, just like the roses he used to surprise you with on every anniversary the two of you could share around his hectic schedule as an idol.

Red, just like the heels you would ogle online late in the night while Felix watched TV beside you in your bed. He contemplated buying them for you more than once, but every time it was brought up you’d quickly brush it off, claiming you’d have nowhere to wear them to. He regrets it — your beauty would’ve put the deep gorgeous shade of red to shame.

Fuck. Another reminder of red, just like the hearts you would send when you curiously texted him at the end of the day, sweetly asking about his day and what he ate.

He grits his teeth at the reminder he no longer receives those texts. His phone is unbearably dry, if his member’s messages and the occasional texts from family don’t count.

Sometimes, when he gets too desperate at night, he scrolls back through his chat log with you and has to bite his fist to hold back the tears that threaten to overflow. Heartbreak is genuinely one of the worst feelings he’s ever experienced.

Felix shakes his head to rid himself of the thought and stares out the window of his apartment with a sigh. It’s for the better, he reminds himself. In the end, he couldn’t provide you with the proper affection and time you deserved.

Deep down, Felix is happy you were strong enough to put an end to the relationship, purely because he himself never would’ve been able to let you go despite the suffering that increasingly began to build up as the relationship progressed.

Fuck. He can’t stop thinking about it. With an exasperated groan, Felix falls back onto his bed and runs a hand through his blonde hair. He toys with the ends for a minute, contemplating on what color he should do next. Maybe black again?

His heart sinks when his brain immediately jumps to a memory of you from six months ago. You were propped against the headboard of your bed with Felix’s head in your lap. His hair was much shorter at the time, but you ran your hands and twined the dark strands together with a content hum regardless of the length.

“Black looks so good on you,” you had sighed as your fingers gently began to massage his scalp. His eyes had slipped close in bliss, but now he regrets that entirely. That could’ve been a perfect moment to stare up and take in the slope of your nose, the curve of your lips, the shape of your eyes. But, like an idiot, he fucking wasted it.

Dragging himself out of the depressed haze that is his mind once more, Felix digs the heels of his palms into his eyes until his sight fills with static. He needs to move on, but it’s like you’ve strung his heart around a leash that he can’t rip off no matter how hard he tries. Why, why, why?

He sits up and eyes his phone that rests undisturbed on the nightstand near his bed. He knows it’s a bad idea. He shouldn’t. Absolutely, one hundred percent, should not look at your Instagram profile to see how your life is without him.

Three minutes later, Felix wants to scream and rip his hair out as he swipes through your recent posts against his better judgment, seeing you happy and glowing with a man who isn’t him. He manages to scroll down to find three similar posts, one being a picture of you holding a bouquet of roses, before he clicks off the device, gingerly places it back where it was, and curls up in a ball atop his comforter to let out a broken sob.

He misses you so fucking badly that everything internal aches beyond words. It kills him to know that someone else is out there buying you roses and sharing every anniversary with you, not just the ones Felix could manage to physically attend.

He hates how time-consuming his job is. He doesn’t know how long he lays there and loses himself to a mental spiral, bawling his eyes out, until he blearily hears the jingle of keys and click of a door, indicating Seungmin is home. When said man knocks once a moment later before letting himself into the room, it’s with a sympathetic wince full of pity.

Felix sniffles and tries to take a deep breath through his hyperventilating as Seungmin carefully trods over. He lets Seungmin wordlessly coax him into sitting, lets him draw him into a gentle hug, lets him allow Felix to bury his face into his shoulder. He only cries harder at the warm embrace, smearing snot on the sleeve of his roommate’s jacket. Seungmin doesn’t comment on it, though, and continues to rub soothing circles on his back in silence.

They both know Felix will manage to pull the thorns out of his heart eventually.

[cheegu3]

Heloo may I request a enhypen reaction when y/n killed themselves and left a note saying "this is all your fault"

Sorry if this makes you uncomfy

oh not at all, I was only on the fence about writing this bc idk if talking about this topic is allowed on tumblr, but I hope u didn’t feel a lot of anxiety when sending in this ask 😭 it is a little short so sorry abt that :c some of the notes are a bit different too to switch it up!

tw / trigger warning: yandere, dark themes, depression, suicide, self-harm, sad asf, cursing, violence, blood, suicide-note, vomiting, gun

pls do not read if this triggers or offends you or if you're struggling !!

Yandere!Enhypen - reaction to you unaliving yourself

Jungwon

He didn't know how to react when he found you dead. No tears fell down his face as he looked for a pulse, clutching your cold hand in his.

When he spotted a note lying a few meters away, a heavy sigh left his lips and he gave you a pained look.

' This is all because of you. If only you'd treated me like a normal boyfriend would, maybe we could've been soulmates. I hope you feel pain for the rest of your life. '

The more Jungwon stared at the note, blaming him for all of your pain and problems; the more he felt like he had to fight to hold back the tears that were itching to fall.

At the same time, he found a strange anger bubbling inside of him. Not only did you - the love of his life, leave him in this way but you had to wish him pain in your last breath too?

He became blinded by anger. The hand that was holding the note clenched and the paper crumbled under it.

He will try to stay alive just to spite you. Trying his best to move on and get happy, maybe fall in love again and find a family just so he could get his revenge; as you watched from above and realized you meant nothing to him.

But Jungwon never got over you, not really.

Heeseung

He got angry immediately, cussing you out and almost getting the urge to hit you. Instead, he took his anger out on a mirror and felt some sense of relief when he started to bleed.

He blamed himself of course. He had been wrong about how you were feeling, even though he often prided himself on having been able to read you like an open book.

He didn't notice your spark slowly dying out; the more he got angry the more he got jealous, and then the more you were punished for the smallest things.

It got to a point where you couldn't even live in the moment and enjoy the short times when he was a sweet boyfriend again, because you were always scared of what would tick him off a few seconds later.

' I'm sorry, Hee. I was so tired of fighting. I love you,

y/n. '

His vision blurred as tears filled his eyes. He could only manage to hold them back for a few seconds before he doubled over and sobbed loudly.

The room filled with loud wails of pain that would even make angels cry. Anyone that heard it would know just how much he loved you.

Heeseung clutched his chest right where his aching heart felt like it was being ripped out of him. '' I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby, '' he kept whispering until he was tired of crying for hours and it turned into shaky murmurs.

He fell asleep, hoping it would be eternal, with your body in his arms; dried tears on his cheeks being replaced by new ones, as even in his sleep he couldn't escape seeing his lover.

Jay

It was the worst phone call he had ever received. He didn't know how to react after it ended, only staring blankly into the distance as his thoughts went crazy.

He needed to see you with his own eyes to believe it so he rushed home. His stomach sank when he spotted the ambulance. Quickly he pushed through the people to get to you.

But when he reached you and saw your lifeless body on the stretcher, he didn't know what to do yet again. A stupid voice inside him told him he should keep his cool in front of all the spectators, even while the love of his life lay dead in front of him.

Did he want to cry, scream, or hold you?

He lowered his eyes to get the image of you like that out of his head. Still in shock, he went inside, locked the doors, and shut the windows' blinds.

He stayed like that for days; barely eating, seeing the sun, or getting out of bed. No matter how bad his depression got and how the light at the end of the tunnel seemed to get further and further away, he still refused to cry.

There was a reason. Your note.

He had seen it while cleaning his house that day he got home. Not wanting to let his thoughts get to him, he started sterilizing and cleaning the whole house. When he then got to the bedroom, a small green note poked out underneath the bed.

He crouched and was about to throw it away until he turned it over and read the first and only line.

' this is all your fault '

And after that, he'd never be the same man again. Most days he wondered if he was even human anymore, he didn't feel anything.

Jake

'' Y/n! I'm home. ''

Jake's face scrunched up as he pouted when you didn't come running to him like usual. Something felt wrong, a bad feeling brewed in his stomach, growing in size the more he moved around in his apartment.

He went further in, peeking around the corners but not calling out for you anymore. It felt better to explain the bad feeling by thinking you were doing something you weren't supposed to, rather than you being hurt; so he moved quietly so he could catch you in the act.

Inside the office, you were nowhere to be found. He guessed you had snuck in there to write to your loved ones or maybe snoop through his stuff. Defeatedly he sighed and moved on, eyes getting caught by the door to the bedroom being slightly open.

Jake stopped in his step and turned back.

'' Y/n? Are you in there? Come out please, I just want to talk, '' he tried, his voice coming out a lot more whiny and desperate than he'd planned.

But he got no response except for silence. His worry grew. One deep breath later he pushed the door open before he could change his mind.

It slowly creaked open, revealing the room little by little. He fell to his knees and gasped.

You were lying in a pool of blood. At first, he felt a surge of anger - who could've done this to you? Then, his attention drifted to the small folded note next to you, and his heart sank.

'' No, please don't say...'' he trailed off, hurrying to unwrap the paper with so much panic that he almost ripped it.

' I wanted to meet my friend one last time, that's all I asked for, but like always it was about what you wanted. We both know that this was all your fault. '

Overcome with despair and grief it wouldn't take long for Jake to join you. He couldn't stand being apart, and he'd find you wherever you were, even in death.

Sunghoon

He felt very angry at you, not himself. Yes, he had dared you to do it while the two of you were in the middle of a screaming match but he hadn't expected you to actually pick up a gun.

The image of you staring at him, tears in your eyes, and that look on your face, which was the last he'd see of you, would forever be etched in his mind.

He couldn't sleep at night. It was like it was burned into the back of his eyes too.

Once your body fell to the floor with a thud, his eyes widened and his lips parted. He knew you were gone without even having to check your pulse.

'' Do it, '' those were his last words to the one person he loved.

He felt sick suddenly, rushing to the bathroom to throw up everything and then some more.

In that bathroom he stayed for hours, just staring blankly at the tiles on the wall, not saying a word or moving an inch. After the sun started setting outside and the light caught his eyes, he finally got up and went to where he had last left you.

You hadn't moved. Sunghoon crouched down next to you and started digging in your pockets for your phone. Something sharp brushed against his palm.

He took it out and saw that it was a note. Unraveling it, he discovered it was a suicide note you must've written a long time ago. Had you always had it on you? Just in case.

' I hate you '

He clenched his fist around the paper, it broke. '' Weak, '' he whispered under his breath and got up.

It was a coping mechanism to place all the anger on you. God knows what he would've done if he started letting that transfer to himself. But, even the anger couldn't stop him from missing you - every single day.

Sunoo

He would blame himself immensely, not having room to be mad at you at all. All that he felt for you was pity and empathy. He tried putting himself in your shoes for the first time and it was a heartbreak he'd never experienced before.

He went to school that day, so excited to see you, only to feel horror as he pushed through the crowd that had formed curiously and saw your body there.

It felt like slow-motion when the wind made you turn and you made eye contact with him. Whispers spread like wildfire all around him, surrounding him completely.

Sunoo felt confused and scared, his eyes darted around anxiously and he tried slipping out. Someone pushed him back.

'' You did this! ''

His head snapped up. A girl, your friend, was standing on the table overlooking the whole classroom. Her eyes were red from crying and in her hand, she was holding something white.

' I'm sorry to do this here, but it's because of my boyfriend, he's controlling and an obsessive, crazy person. I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of him. I'm sorry, I love you '

His world fell apart in an instant. He had no idea you'd been feeling like that, why didn't you tell him? He ran his fingers through his disheveled hair as he came to a realization - you did, and he didn't listen.

He was finally allowed to push through the crowd and run away from the school which he'd never again return to. Tears streamed down his face the whole way home, and they didn't stop even as he reached it.

In his mind, all the ' what if-s ' played. What if he fixed himself and was less obsessive, would you have stayed then? What if he was less jealous, would you have loved him back? What if...what if.

Ni-ki

He tried distracting his mind by both rationalizing it to soften the blow, saying '' we probably weren't made for each other anyway '', and trying to go on dates with other girls.

However, every time he did so, he'd zone out and wish that it was you sitting across from him instead. He started daydreaming which brought a smile to his face until it dropped almost as suddenly as it had come when he heard her voice and realized it wasn't you.

They could never be you.

Suddenly he was angry at them, cursing and telling them to leave him alone and to never text him again.

Deep down he knew he'd never love anyone like you again, and you were actually meant for him; but he hated admitting it and to spare himself from more pain, might never admit it.

That was the thing, you were meant for him. Not anymore; you didn't exist anymore, because of him. He knew that now that his soulmate was gone forever, his bleak days would never be lit up by you again.

Just thinking of that smile, the only one that managed to get through his tough and cold exterior, made him feel like crying or punching something.

He then thought of the note, which he often did, and your body at the morgue because he hadn't come home quick enough to see you, and for that he was grateful; seeing you like that would've driven him to the edge.

The note, the one that read, ' I'm sorry, Riki. I tried, I really did. I love you, -y/n '

[jelly-of-many-ships]

Intersting experience in math class:

I was doing some work while listening to the good omens soundtrack because it helps me focus and I love remembering which scene each track is from. Anyway, David Arnold (the composer) also composed most of the music for BBC Sherlock, which I don’t think too many people know (He’s amazing and I love literally everything he makes). And so when I finished the good omens album it started playing other music by the artist, which in this case, happened to be the BBC Sherlock intro.

I have not heard that song in almost a year in a half. BBC Sherlock was like a canon event for me, it was the first real fandom I joined and it introduced me to tumblr, fanfiction, and literally every concept associated with fandoms. Most pieces media Ive consumed, and definitely every fandom i’ve joined since then has been in some way because of tumblr, or other fandom spaces. Even good omens, which I am currently hyperfixating on to a frankly concerning extent, I was only introduced to via the domino effect of BBC Sherlock.

Why is this important? idk...backstory I guess? whatever, anyways, after awhile a fell more and more out of interest with Sherlock, and while I’d definitely still consider myself in the fandom, I’m just not really that into it anymore, especially since the rest of the fandom isn’t very active either. The year when my interest was the strongest was a very interesting time. I was really insecure and not very happy, but I had some amazing people in my life who I really miss. These two things, I think, are possibly the worst combination to have in terms of nostalgia, and I find that experiencing things that remind me of this period feels very strange. For example I physically cannot listen to some of the songs I added to my playlist around this time without getting really emotional, but I refuse to delete them because they really do feel like a part of me. From time to time I do remember the bad things and maybe feel a bit upset, and yet if I could go back, I know I would, just to remember what it was like to experience it all.

I don’t think I could ever fully explain it but BBC Sherlock genuinely felt like opening a very weird portal, and so when in the middle of math class, immediately after listening to the good omens track “the end?” and vividly imagining the end credit scene of season two, the Sherlock intro started playing, I felt such a strange mix of awe and nostalgia that I almost started crying. It sounds pretty stupid typing this up, but it was such a unique experience, and I don’t think I can really explain it. Good Omens is the only thing I’ve been even somewhat interested in to the extend of Sherlock, and after listening to possibly the most depressing song of the entire show, to have such a sharp reminder of who I used to be blast full volume into my head felt like diving headfirst into cold water. It really does sound stupid, but in that exact moment I remembered everything; the evening I heard that song for the first time, staying up for hours scrolling through pinterest and discovering the fandom, the first day I told my friends about it, the day i read my first fanfic, the day I was so convinced they were gay I accidentally discovered shipping (lol), the night I finished season 4, alone, at 2am, the day I joined tumblr, the week I learned how to play “the game is on” on piano, and the lunch period I wrote my first fic after daydreaming about it for weeks.

These things probably seem pretty mundane, but this was like a new world to me. They represent more than just discovering I new interest though. They’re some of the only memories I have of that time. I cut my hair, I realized I was queer, and for the first time in my entire life I had an actual friendgroup, one that I still care about so much. Life was, at the same time horrible, yet the best it had ever been, and I didn’t even know it. When I really think about It, I realize in actuality how little time has really passed, but everything feels so different. I think to myself that there’s no way that person was me, that the kid who had so much energy and enthusiasm for life, poetry and writing and had yet never felt so insecure couldn’t have possibly turned into the burnt out, powerless person I feel I am today.

At least I’m not so insecure anymore? I’m not so sure what to say. All I know, is I think that moment in math class made me realize how much I’ve grown, how much I appreciate those experience I got to have, and how much that song will always mean to me.

[corvidae-corvus]

Itadori Yuuji x MHA fanfic Idea Prompt #1:

Summary of overall fic idea:

Yuuji gets transported to the MHA verse after defeating the king of curses.

Depressed and incredibly lonely, Yuji tries to find a way back home. In his failure to do so, Yuji despairs.

It isn't until he comes across a hero that Yuji thinks about his grandfather's last words (his curse).

Despite never wanting to sacrifice his life again for the sake of others, he enters the U.A entrance exam for one sole purpose: himself.

To use his powers freely, without punishment. (to help others, cause at the end of the day, Yuji likes to help people)

And perhaps even.....going against the hero commission!?

Explanation:

So yeah that's the summary (WIP) to a fanfic Idea I had. I imagine the story to take place after Yuji sacrifices himself to defeat Sukuna. Now this is just based on my theories and headcanons. Like in my mind, this fanfic would take place after Yuji eats Sukuna. (Crazy ik)

Like y'know how twins are important in the JJK verse? And how people speculate that Sukuna ate his twin? And how there are theories that Yuji is somehow Sukuna's descendant?

Well my headcanon is that Sukuna had a twin brother who had a wife and many children (or just a child) and Sukuna ate his twin and killed his brother's family. But he failed to kill all of his brother's kids and so Yuji is like his great grand nephew X30 or something.

Basically Yuji and Sukuna aren't twins as in actual twins but twins as in their fates? Like They're the complete opposite of one another. Yuji is a good and kind person and Sukuna is the fucking worst. Yuji represents just everything that Sukuna hates. Literally Yuji hates pure evil (Sukuna lol) and Sukuna hates Yuji who is in his eyes a weakling that doesn't give up and has an unshakable will which is disgusting to him because how can someone so weak have such determination and will power. He hates Yuji lol. Sukuna is yuji's number one hater.

And in my fic the only way to defeat Sukuna is to eat all of him or something. Not his fingers but like his soul. (Ok thinking back on this maybe not eat Sukuna? Maybe he and Sukuna just have a soul battle or whatever. And Yuji just destroys Sukuna's soul without having to resort to eating him. Idk I want some sort of cannibalism to be involved in the fic but I don't know why.)

For example Yuji and Sukuna were trying to eat each other, because Sukuna realized that if he ate Yuji he'd get stronger or something. Something, something, power or whatever. And obv Yuji ate Sukuna when Sukuna left Magumi's body after Yuji forcefully separated Sukuna from megumi. At that point Sukuna was able to fight Yuji in his og form without a body, and he couldn't use mahoraga or whatever.

Anyways Yuji beats the ever loving shit outta Sukuna cause honestly fuck that guy (love him tho <3) and well Yuji fucking dies and yuji's soul is kinda shit rn cause he ate the king of fucking curses and so his soul leaves the JJK verse and gets stranded in MHA. and since dimensial travel cleansed his soul or whatever he's no longer in danger of combusting into himself and dying. Yuji is alive and he has all his powers and Sukuna's powers too! >:)

Now since the MHA verse doesn't have cursed energy he just has to supply the cursed energy himself. Which is easy to do since Yuji has a large amount of cursed energy. And he gathers cursed energy with his own emotions and yeah Yuji is experiencing a lot of emotions rn.

Yeah Yuji is pretty op in this fic (WIP).

It'll make this story more of Yuji walking around destroying villains while having an existential crisis. All while toppling hero society. Lmao

Like in this fic, if I were to start to write it, I'd have it so we skip a lot of stuff. Maybe it can be written in an outsider pov. With occasional Yuji pov. Just people's reactions or thoughts on Yuji. A lot of him exploring off campus and meeting with villains, hell I love it when crossover fanfics that involve MHA introduce the broker guy.

Oh the fic can have a little horror/thriller/supernatural vibe. With Yuji being described as just plain weird. Or scary from other MHA characters. Some tiger symbolism for Yuji.

Just a crossover fic where UA isn't the only setting. Cause I've read a lot of MHA crossovers and although I absolutely love the characters becoming UA students and all the author's ideas changing the whole story because of a characters' involvement. I just need another setting. Or maybe new characters other than Bakugou, Deku, Todoroki, All Might and Aizawa. (Especially Aizawa lol. He's always the first hero that is introduced and is immediately speculative of the main character other than maybe principal nezu).

Hell maybe a two year time skip. I'll be honest the way horikoshi wrote about mutant discrimination with Shoji was kinda ass and I also feel like the Hero commission needed more punishment.

Damn I might write this fic idea...maybe...

I just needed to vomit this idea. It was painful not writing it down. Actually I feel like this post would be hard to understand cause I was writing this a certain way and if I didn't write this post in a specific way with specific words It would make me have this painful feeling in my gut that I'm not properly conveying what I'm trying to say.

Anyways thank u for reading.

P.S. I never read the jjk manga and I only watched like 9 episodes of the JJK anime. I just read leaks and watch people's analysis of JJK on Tik tok. So if I get something wrong about a character.... I'm sorry. I promise I'll read the manga one day 😭

P.P.S- if you couldn't already tell, Yuji is my fav JJK character

P.P.S.S- I've read the manga it's beautiful

[mothmans-arthritis]

Idk if I've ever explained my plan to fix my alcoholism here, cuz full sobriety is not truly my end goal, if that's how it goes it's how it goes. My plan is 6 months sober, then I'm allowed 1 day to drink, then back to sobriety for six months, allowed 1 day to drink, and repeat for a 3rd and maybe 4th time. After that I'll see where I stand with alcohol but the end goal is to basically go back to only drinking on special occasions and where I no longer have to track my drinks. And because this is about fixing my relationship with alcohol, I'm not counting down days and drinking the moment I'm able.

My last drink was 7 months and 50+ lbs ago so ive alreadysurpassed my goal, I'm planning on having my drink day on Halloween (or more realisticly the day after cuz I think I'm scheduled to work the day of) and I'm hoping the w3ight and time difference 1. Severely decrease the amount I "need" to get drunk cuz I had been putting away the largest size bottle of vodka in 2-3days and 2. Honestly kinda hoping I feel kinda shitty the next day so my brain makes the connection too much alcohol = feel shitty instead of I feel like shit everyday = cope with alcohol

I'm just grateful that the worst of my alcoholism just caused depression and melting organs cuz my dad was a mean and abusive drunk and I'd like to believe that if alcohol made me mean I would never touch it and would never get to that point but unfortunately you can never truly know how you'd react to an experience without having experienced it

[imnotsimpingyouare]

ENAMORED

Modern Hatengu clones X Reader

Featuring:

"Pissed Cubicle Worker" Sekido

"Depressed Programmer" Aizetsu

"That Guy in the Alley" Karaku

"Unfunny Youtube Prankster" Urogi

"Disappointed Grandpa" Hantengu

"Delinquent Middle Schooler" Zohakuten

"Possibly a Criminal" Akaza

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

You will NOT be shipped with Zohakuten or Hantengu because

A.) One is an old man

B.) One is a young boy

Ty for your time 😌

Basically fem!Y/N gets employed as a maid for this house of actual lunatics and one normal but depressed guy. I have no clue what I'm doing, no clue when this will end, NO CLUE IF THERE WILL BE NSFW? Idk. Goodbye.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

On this fine morning, the sun is rising, the birds are chirping, and all throughout the neighborhood, the peaceful blanket of sleep covers every resident.

Except for Aizetsu.

Yes, this lovely boy relishes in the cold, calm mornings... he can stroll about freely with his cup of coffee, take a warm shower, and get himself ready for the day. He can enjoy the peace and quiet (he's gained immunity to Urogi's snoring) that he only gets once in a blue moon. For around thirty minutes each morning, this is Aizetsu's life...

...until the clock strikes 7:00.

How sad is it that in one moment, this boy's contentedness can be ruined?

Here are the stats for 7:00 each morning:

4 alarms go off.

2 groans are heard.

1 fit of maniacal laughter is heard.

1 alarm clock violently hits the wall.

1 old man tosses in his covers and puts his earplugs in.

1 Aizetsu's happiness is ruined.

And just like that, the morning had begun.

Zohakuten darts out of his room like a madman, running to the pantry.

"WHERE. IS. THE CEREAL." He snarls like some kind of vicious beast, pointing a scrawny finger at Aizetsu.

"...I–"

"I BET YOU ATE IT ALL, DIDN'T YOU?" The boy once again accused.

"...I–"

Angry stomping was coming from the other direction. Turning his head, Aizetsu came face to face with his brother, whose hair resembled a tumbleweed, stomping barefooted towards them. "Shut the fuck up and GET READY FOR SCHOOL! YOU'RE GONNA LEARN SOME SHIT TODAY!"

Zohakuten ran off to his room, but not before grabbing the cereal bars out of the pantry. Yes, the whole box. A trail of crumbs were left behind him as he barreled towards his room. Did he take off the wrapper? No one knows. Did he even take the cereal bars out of the box? Don't ask me.

Sekido huffed, slipping his house shoes on and plopping down on the sofa. "Little tyke takes too damn long in the morning. What's he making himself presentable for, huh?"

"...I–"

Dark-toned hands dug into the arms of the sofa. "I swear, if that kid comes home one day with a little girlfriend, I'm gonna rip someone's head off."

Aizetsu only sighed in response. What's the point of trying to get a word in?

Suddenly laughing was heard in Urogi's room. Not a moment later there he was, already dressed for his day of "production" holding his camera in the air. Urogi slinked in Aizetsu's direction, giving the camera all the worst possible angles of his poor brother. "Say hi to the vlog, 'Zetsu!"

"Zetsu" could only sip his coffee, hoping that if he ignores his brother, he'll despawn or something. That was not the case.

"Hey 'Zetsu? Did you know that if your hand is bigger than your face, your IQ is lower than room temperature?"

Now... when Aizetsu wakes up in the morning, he's not... as clever as he usually is.

Actually, maybe he is after his coffee, but I don't think he has the energy yet to stop what's about to happen.

"No Urogi, I didn't know that." He deadpans, raising his hand up to his face... all the while Urogi's smile is transforming from cute and bubbly to that of Satan himself.

As soon as his hand is lined up with his nose..

WHAP

CRASH

Aizetsu's coffee is on the floor, as is the mug which once contained it. His nose hurts, he feels like an idiot, he wants to die. Urogi cackles and runs away like a 3 year old.

Somewhere on the other side of the house, Karaku is doing his "skincare routine" with 30 different products and his hair twisted up in hair curlers.

This is life in the Hantengu Household.

○○○○○

On the other side of town, you're already wide awake, as your job starts at the crack of dawn.

What do you do? You clean!

You work for Murata's Service Emporium, a company that hires people to do all kinds of things for clients, from mowing lawns to sweeping chimneys. Why is this important?

It's not. You hate your job.

Clean clean clean clean clean. You hate cleaning. It's a chore to clean your own tiny apartment because it's like you have PTSD from cleaning. The callouses on your hands are to show for that.

Day to night, that's all you do, and you don't even get to see the client's reaction to your amazing work.

You. Hate. Your. Job.

But you're still one of the best maids the company has hired. Why? You're a perfectionist. You're not going to leave spots of dirt and dust. You work hard to earn your tips.

Well, the ones you do get. No one tips maids anyway.

Soon to start another day at work, you put on your clothes and grab your keys. 2 cups of coffee is enough for you to feel okay this morning, but you could have used another one.

Maybe if you'd had another one, you wouldn't have tripped and fallen down the stairs. Maybe a few more after that, and you wouldn't have picked yourself up only to fall down the second flight of stairs.

God, how bad can this day get?

At least, that's what you were thinking, when a hand was extended to you. Looking up, there was a man with short black hair and rather prominent eyelashes standing infront of you. You took his hand. He pulled you up to his height.

"I saw you take both those sets of stairs. Are you... okay?" He spoke, not yet letting go of your hand, but it didn't bother you that much.

"Ummmmmm... I only had 2 cups of coffee this morning. 3 is the bare minimum for me."

Getting a closer look at him, you could see he had some tattoos around his forearms. In fact, they reminded you of criminal tattoos. Are you holding the hand of a criminal?

No, no way! This guy couldn't be some kind of evil, bloodthirsty, evil, donut-making..

He cleared his throat, interrupting your thoughts. "Well, I hope you have a good day, Ma'am. I'm leaving for work now, so I'll see you later?" He says, smiling at you and releasing your hand.

"..yeah. That sounds good."

He laughs before walking away, presumably to his car.

Are you stupid? What are you doing? You're gonna be late!

You rush to your car, hoping you're fast enough. It'll be your third offense, and you can't get fired from this job. How else will you pay the bills? How will you buy groceries? Clothes? You slam the gas and go over the limit until you see your arch nemesis ahead, blocking your path like a giant wall.

A red light.

God dammit.

○○○○○

"Y/N!" A deep voice yells from across the hall. You look over, just a few steps into the building, and see your boss, fuming.

He stops over to you, crossing his arms. "Why are you late again? The first client you're assigned to has a big task! What are you doing dilly-dallying?"

"I–"

He puts a hand up to hush you.

"Y/N.. this is not your first time doing this! How can you expect anyone to view you as reliable when this is how you do your job. Ugh." He scowls. "Listen, we don't have anyone to cover you. Just.. do the job, and go home. Got it?"

Your heart stopped. "...go home?"

His eyes burned into yours, threatening to swallow you hole. "As in no more Y/N. As in turn in your uniform. How else do you want me to say it?"

You were stunned. He only scoffed, prancing away from you like some kind of doe.

Oh God.

You just got fired.

What are you supposed to do?

Who's gonna take you?

How are you gonna find work in a town like this?

The thoughts zooming through your head stop only when you view the client's last name on your written schedule, posted on the wall infront of you.

Hantengu.

[godeaterazathoth]

Issues I have with ikevamp

That I’m venting here because they won’t leave my skull

*Content warning, we’re talking about men in the past, they did some bad stuff*

Part 1, historical inaccuracies

I’m I history nut so this really gets to me, since I know the deep details of these peoples lives.

The timeline, ok so the game takes place in 18th France, correct me if I’m wrong but I think it is in the second empire (1852-1870) considered there is a noble class, yet you can clearly see the Eiffel Tower which was completed in 1889, there is no mention of the 1889 exposition, so it must be after the tower had become permanent, by then the 3rd republic was around, if we are in the republic the Count wouldn’t be called that by the npcs at all the parties he goes to, no matter which we’re in, NOBODY mentions Napoleon III at, NOT EVAN HIS UNCLE (WHOSE SOMEHOW BECAME CASS CONSCIOUS!)

How does the time travel work, example, Dazai died in 1948, his plan was seemingly to wait until he’s born in 1909 then kill himself as a baby, but then he decides to use the magic door, what are the consequences of 2 Dazais existing at once or him erasing himself from history, he’s a pretty important literary figure, does someone else replace him or does the space time continuum collapse?? Is the future Vlad sees set in stone or can it be changed, just copy someone else’s time travel bit!!!

So straight up these guys aren’t who they say they are, we’ll go through 1 by 1

Napoleon- doesn’t mention he left the love of his life to marry a girl 20 years his junior (like think how interesting it would be if he’s conflicted about love cuz he had to give it up for political reasons) -that scene where MC talks about all the ‘good’ that he did in Europe, like committing war crimes against the Spanish and Portuguese and Eastern Europeans, being a coloniser, killing the slaves he freed when they asked for more rights, killing thousands of men in a meaningless war (ligit H*tler vibes)

Arthur- goofy irl, literally believed in fairies, had 5 children and married twice but he never mentions any of this, he cheated on his first wife while she was dying of TB, he was a liberal unionist (tldr didn’t like Irish people) he was anti-immigration, might have committed fraud. We’ll get to the other issues I have with him.

Leonardo- fruity as hell, vegetarian

Mozart- they got his character completely wrong, the guy was a complete man child, vain, broke, by the end of his life his career fell off (Beethoven better composer), in love with his cousin 🤢, had a s*at fetish 🤢🤢🤢. The hole Salieri thing didn’t happen.

Vincent- they made him too mentally stable, I’m all for him being meek, but the guy had serious issues that they ignore, he ate paint thinner, was rejected by his both crushes, WHY DOES HE HAVE BOTH EARS, DID IT GROW BACK, THEY SHOULD HAVE LEFT HIM WITH ONLY ONE, also he should be ginger smh. Oh yeah and they never mentioned the s*ecide attempt.

Theo- doesn’t mention his wife, or son, WHO HE NAMED AFTER VINCENT, his wife is the person responsible for Vincent’s work not being completely forgotten, was way nicer irl.

Issac- tbh hotter irl, low key ace, maybe a fruit, kinda mean, the only thing they got right was the major virgin vibes.

Jean- WHY MAN!??!! Even if the didn’t want a lesbian route, they could have gone with any other guy from the 100 years war, Edward black prince, idk WHY GENDER BEND ONE OF THE MOST PROMINENT WOMEN IN HISTORY, I’m fine with the delusional trans dude lie, but they say that he was a guy all along, THEN WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HIM BEING BURNT AT THE STAKE IF HE WASN’T CROSS DRESSING???!!! was he double cross dressing??? This is the worst of them all, give me the girl boss we deserve (revers fate)

Dazai- not depressed enough imo, he was a leftist, again missing wife, their were two su*ecide attempts, guy lived through fire bombing, had a few children that he is fine to erase from existence.

Shakespeare- probably a fruit, again never mentioned his wife and kids, btw the way he talks is annoying, some people don’t think he’s real.

Faust- NOT A REAL PERSON.

Sanson- too young, this guys is 67, really liked the guillotine, just saw execution as his job didn’t really care, had a wife and kids.

Vlad- Ok is he supposed to be Vlad THE impaler? Cuz he’s not evil enough, or is he a Dracula reference, cuz he can’t dance that dance either, why did they call him Vlad if he isn’t a blood thirsty war criminal.

Count- not enough history to work with.

Part 2, problematic moments

So I ha have seen some posts on the low key misogynistic way the MC is written and treated and there are a lot of issues wit white washing history so another trigger warning ⚠️

Misogyny- the MC of this game is not the best, I know she’s a self insert but she has no backbone at all. She lacks agency I’m most of the routes, like the MC getting kidnapped is a troupe in all these games, but Emma can escape on her own, Kate has ⚽️, even Alice had more depth to her, seems the only thing MC can do is cry and wait to be saved, I swear she gets kidnapped once in every route, I think they could have given her more character to work with. Another thing, but Jean being a man is bad, really bad, she’s a feminist icon but they made her a man, it’s sought of saying that women aren’t capable of this so she had to have actually been a man.

Handling of SA, important one here, I’m ok with the flirty guy, but I really hate Arthur, he doesn’t just flirt with her in chapter 1 he assaults her and acts like he did her a service, and she just forgives him!?! I’m fine with a guy that sleeps around, I like Jin and Nokto fine, but the way Arthur talks about women, always calling them Birds (if they were going for English slang it doesn’t work cuz he doesn’t have a cockney accent) or worse Skirts, it’s dehumanising, and shows that to him women are vehicles for sexual pleasure and aren’t on an equal level of understanding. There are smaller parts to, Leo kisses her without consent, the Count hides the truth from her, idk but Theo calling her a ‘hound’ sounds like he’s calling her something else…

Minor points on classism, I’m not expecting the communist manifesto, but all these games aren’t very good at dealing with class deviation. In Vlad’s route, the orphan boy thinks he can impress the rich girl, this is the 19th century, capitalism is on the rise, but there’s no comment about how it’s impossible. The little school Napoleons runs is strange, considering he was in a position where benefited from poor people existing and staying poor, ( side note, he’s teaching them swordsmanship when ww1 is right around the corner, just saying they won’t need it in the military) called MC out as a social climber, these games sought of depict the past through rosé tinted glasses, there’s only passing reference to how fucked people were in the past, Also all the historical inaccuracies above tie to this.

Anyway love to hear some other opinions, (I started playing this game before my transition and have always thought it it was wired, it’s my personal least favourite just cuz I couldn’t really get into any of the guys, my OC ended up as a Carmilla reference so….)

I have seen a post talking about some of the issues before so that’s what got me to write this out, if you disagree or want to add anything I’m all ears 👂

Thanks for reading 💗💖💖💕💓💝💗🥰🥰🥰❤️✨✨✨✨❤️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[jihyoruri]

the angst would honestly work so well tho. never asked cause everyone had this happy vibe and i was SO scared of getting jumped.

i can imagine yn becoming aware of how close and comfortable she got with hanni, so she'd just start avoiding her without explanation. poor hanni on the other hand would reach out for the girl during the first days, trying her best to justify her actions, only to get to a point when she just can't do that anymore. hanni would be like a few steps away from depression. staying in her dorm room all day, eating the bare minimum, being too scared to open her socials or to go live, only talking with her friends through the locked door, she would genuinely be a mess. like she felt so good when she was with yn, she would melt all her stress & problems away, maybe they were young but if someone were to ask her she could definitely envision yn in her future. during music shows they would look at each other across the crowded rooms, yn looking at hanni like she just saw her worst nightmare and hanni looking at yn like it's their last day on this planet, both ignoring the people that are talking to them. fans would go crazy and constantly ask why hanni doesn't talk about paranoia anymore or put their songs on live, why her and yn don't get spotted anymore, why they haven't commented on each other's post in a long time, why they haven't interacted in so long in general, and hanni would fight back tears and end her livestreams as soon as the chat would get flooded by these types of questions. maybe i'm too much of a drama queen but i can't help it, i think that at some point hanni's sadness would turn into anger and she'd finally find the will to fight back, she'd try ANYTHING to face yn but the latter just kept avoiding her so hanni showed up in paranoia's dorms. before any of the three members could ask how hanni even knew where their dorms were, she'd ask yn a million questions, only to get always the same answers ("i never liked you", "there's someone else", "it meant nothing to me" all the bullshit like this you hear me?). hanni would grow progressively more impatient, AND HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE she'd slap yn SO GODDAMN HARD, to either hurt her fr or smack some sense into her, or maybe even both (hanni herself wasn't sure on why she did that) before storming out of their dorms. yn would stay still for a couple of minutes that surely felt like hours if not DAYS, not because of the pain, but because WHEN DID HANNI BECOME LIKE THIS)?????)???? but on a side note that would actually make her realize how far she went.

also i think that everyone is aware of yn's personality most of the people just thought about a redemption ark or some shit like that idk 🤔😭

honestly I feel like if hanni was ranting to yn about these things she wouldn’t be like “I never liked you” and stuff you said she would be more like “you knew what you were getting into, I don’t do relationship's.”

imma be so fr if hanni was to slap yn it would literally be an instinct for yn to slap her back ngl LIKE SORRY BUT the way yn wouldn’t hesitate and like she would even shock herself like it was just instinct, like living with boys has really changed her survival instinct and she’s swinging on instinct.

like after hanni leaves and everything the only thing running through yn’s mind is no way she just put her hands on me like let’s actually think about who paranoia!yn is she would def be thinking about that slap more than the reason of the slap like the guys would be like “why did you hit her back?!” and she would be like “because she hit me… really hard it was just instinct IM SORRY.”

honestly I don’t rlly get the redemption arc thing when it comes to paranoia!yn because what redemption does she need? she’s not like wow!yn who can be a complete asshole she’s just someone who’s not comfortable with relationships, you can soften her up but you can’t change who she is yk?

[wiihtigo]

CASEY NATION RISE 7, 9, 17, 20, 23, 25

ask game

7. What’s one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

i used to think that she didnt care much about the art of actually acting and cinema and stuff and for her it was more about just being famous and it didnt matter how. i think that was partially because although i knew i wanted her to lust for fame and money the acting dream was kind of just randomly decided on. i thought i could easily swap it out with modelling or singing or something and it wouldnt make much difference. but the more time ive spent with casey, the more i see her as a true lover of movies and art....which i think leads in well to her endgame job being a script editor rather than an actor. her true talents lie behind the screen even if she herself doesnt see it...

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

whats a girl to do - cristina

a post canon (after nell dies) caseys life anthem:)

17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

well i was going to blame it entirely on you that nell dies and i had no say in that but i suppose i did come up with her emotional reaction to that myself, which causes me a lot of slow damage pain. SO I GUESS THAT..the fact she pushes michelle away after it happens is really depressing to me because thats literally her only friend left and only possible pillar of support, but she pushes her away because she hates everything and shes mad shes not nell and shes mad at her family and wants to explode. I think she'd be marginally less suicidal if she stayed friends with her.....

I guess also pulling from alternate realities the one where she dies is pretty fucked up. and very painful. and nell doesnt even make it to her to cradle her in her arms. SAD

20. Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

yyessss. at least when he and nell start getting lowkey. no. highkey #serious. early in their setup he wouldnt gaf if nell was married to a businesswoman in russia.but when they start ummmm [redacted] then hes like waittt. lol waittttttt lol wait. lol. WAITTT. gets a little annoyed when theyre at the doom patrol warehouse party and jayna from the wonder twins tries to get ladybugs number. THATS MY BODYGUARD..GET YOUR OWN. it manifests in that he'll get clingy to nell and mean and passive aggressive (or just aggressive) towards the person pissing him off. will be petty and spiteful (sees some poor scared nervous young lesbian trying to say hi to nell so he slides in and nuzzles up to her shoulder in public to let that sstupid kid know to go away)

idk why he does this. if you asked him if he liked nell he would say And what has she done to MAKE me like her

23. What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

lol GRIEF. little casey has never experienced a death before nell! not even a pet death. she has no idea how to process those feelings or cope with them in the slightest. she goes like catatonic immediately after the fact bcuz shes so completely shocked and wasnt prepared for it at all (lowkey thought ladybug was too awesomeand strong to ever get got. stupidd)

on the complete flip side, also .....l-l-l-l-l-l-l--l-l-l-l-l-l...LOVE. or at least feeling a smidge of serious romantic attraction to someone. in canon end she never gets to deal with that bcuz she only realizes it after nell died and then promptly buried everything related to nell deep inside a hole. but in nyc nell simply has an epic near death experience where hes hospitalized and thats when casey is like fuuuuuuuuuck that scared me. DO I LIKE HER? she acts a bit pathetic and tsundere abt it which is endearing to me personally. maybe scares nell a bit. its cute to me though <3

25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?

shes not a good person </3 shes selfish and mean and doesnt care about other people </3 bent on revenge and hating </3 genuinely not a good guy </3 i love everything negative about casey the most

i also think secretary characters are sexy.