#idk it seems like they wanna dismiss any real concerns because ‘stuff like that doesn’t happen here’

[ryderdire]

I think what gets me about my parents is that I try to be open minded to their point of view I really do but they don’t seem to understand the danger some people are in because of the authority of this country

[shoichee]

Rose-Tinted

Craving for angst with kise please!! Like both are afraid to act on their feelings which ends up hurting the both of them unconsciously. Idk, maybe kise is trying to “test” the girl, but went a bit too far i guess. Whatever floats your boat!! I just want angst but maybe hopefully still HEA in the end (or whichever your muse takes you) ;-; thank youu ❤️

Kise x Reader

Word Count: 6975

Note: oh my GOD, HELP THIS WAS 17 PAGES ON MY GOOGLE DOC I COULDNT STOP MYSELF………. angst, happy ending, fake dating!au, mean old kise ….. girl idk WHAT I WROTE I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT ????? reader POV first half and kise POV second half~

@knb-kreations

»»—————　☼　—————««

He holds you so gently, the touch so feather-light as he cradles your head and dips his own head in for a soft peck. The warmth of his lips makes you feel things you shouldn’t feel, things that you still chased for more in a never-ending cycle. You hold onto his hands thumbing your temples to try to anchor yourself further into the bliss, but it ends all too soon when he separates from you and gives you a radiant smile.

You were rudely pulled out of your rose-tinted trance when you heard gasps and chatter amongst the gawking students nearby, particularly Kise’s fans. He doesn’t pay any mind to their reactions and turns his friendly demeanor towards them.

“So you see everyone,” he cheerfully says. “I’m sorry I can’t accept any of your affections, as much as it flatters me so… after all, I have my dear (y/n)-cchi by my side!”

Groans and cries rung throughout the campus as most wail about missing out the opportunity to be Kise’s romantic partner, but before you can listen to their laments, Kise hurriedly tugs you away to the privacy of the back of a building nearby, away from prying eyes and ears. He drops your wrist just as fast and yawns with a stretch.

“What time should we meet up tomorrow?” he casually says, taking out his phone from his pocket.

“Huh?”

“Well, we can’t exactly sell our image of us being a couple unless we walk to and from school together consistently, right (y/n)?”

The rose-tinted lenses on your self-indulgent fantasy shatters to the ground instantly. You gulp, the swallowed spit hitting down to your stomach in heavy dread, where it was previously occupied by fluttering butterflies just moments prior.

This isn’t real.

“Ah… um,” you hesitated, thinking of a reasonable time, so you can wake up and get ready accordingly. “How about this time…”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he replies, shutting off his phone before he walks a few steps away from you but then stopping. “Huh, uh… should I walk you home first? There might be some nosy people around, and we might as well get some practice in as an official couple.”

“W-Why don’t we start tomorrow morning instead?” you suggest. “A lot’s happened today, and well, I wanna have some time to myself.” Kise impassively stares at you for a couple of seconds before he forms a grin.

“Ah ha, well then, (y/n)-cchi,” he shouts jovially, making sure that his voice rang throughout the area for anyone nearby to hear. “I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow morning, my love!”

“Y-Yeah…” you mumbled, your hand held up in a half-hearted wave. “See you…”

With that parting, you turned to the opposite direction to exit through the side gates to get to your home. Your mind scrambles to recall the impulsive decisions you decided to take on a whim today. The grip on your bag tightens as you finally realized what sort of situation you got yourself into.

You like Kise, plain and simple. You’ve always gazed longingly at him whenever his presence entered within your line of vision. You couldn’t even fault his fans for being so whipped for the basketball player in the first place, not when you felt like you were more enthralled by him than anyone else. So what does a love-stricken fool like you do when the source of attraction directly asks you to partake in a “relationship?” You immediately accept his conditional proposal on auto-pilot before he barely finishes his sentence.

It felt so wrong, yet so right. How can you hate this arrangement when you enjoyed that first kiss you shared with Kise earlier? But how can you love this arrangement when you knew Kise only kissed you to drive everyone off? You stopped on the sidewalk and heaved a huge exhale, and you continued to walk again, the action not even remotely able to clear your head. Your mind continues to swirl and race.

You agreed to this. He even laid out his intentions very clearly to you, and he was more than ready to leave you alone if you didn’t consent to this. But stupid, desperate you did. You were ashamed to feel even a shred of flattery when he told you that you were the only one he can ask to drive off his fans in this only effective method: a relationship.

“Why me?” you said, looking up at his casual posture. “Don’t you have someone you like to ask to be in a relationship? I’m sure they’d be more than happy to accept you…”

“Well,” he mumbled. “I don’t really have someone in mind… you’re kinda the only one who doesn’t drool over me whenever I’m near, and I just ought to ask for your help.”

“W-Well,” you slightly stammered. “I’m okay with helping you, right, so…”

“This isn’t something to accept so readily, you know,” he said, raising a brow. “I know this is super sudden, and it wouldn’t be fair for me to force an answer out of you right at this moment. Besides, I don’t think there’s any incentive for you to be in this either? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“N-No!” you interrupted, but you coughed to regain your composure. “I mean, I do have something in this… maybe if I got with you, people would stop trying to harass and tease me if I had someone like you by my side.” That was a half-truth, but you knew there was no way you could reveal your crush to him… not when he believed you were “different” from the others. But can anyone blame you for sticking up for Kise when someone was talking about him like a piece of meat rather than a normal person? “Besides, for you to get to this point, things must’ve gotten too chaotic to simply tell them to stop, right?”

“Huh… is that so,” he said, stretching his neck, but you didn’t know whether or not he intentionally ignored your last question. “Well, if you’re fine with this, I’m letting you know now that we’ll be doing actual couple stuff, like…” He pauses for a second to gauge your reaction. “Hugging, hand-holding… probably kissing too…”

“Y-Yeah,” you nodded. “That’s fine with me! And we’ll have a code word in case either of us overstep our boundaries in any way… maybe…”

“Unagi,” he said.

“Huh? Why?”

“Because they’re the bane of evil…”

“It’s just a dish, but…” you laughed, giddy at how he already showed a different side to you apart from his cool persona. “Alright, let’s go with that.”

How long were you able to keep this up? You pat yourself on the cheeks to dismiss the rest of your fantasies. If you keep this up, Kise will soon notice how you actually were head-over-heels for him all this time, and surely you’ll lose any future chance with him. Besides, maybe you can use this unique arrangement to learn about Kise and his hobbies other than basketball. Yes, you tell yourself, jogging the rest of the way home. It won’t be so bad, after all.

———

Starting today, you’ll be officially dating Kise.

That’s how it is on paper, anyways.

How are you supposed to act while dating the Kise Ryōta? Equally cool and flamboyant? Athletically capable? Would you weird out Kise if you were the one initiating physical affection?

“(y/n)!”

You flinch, not expecting anyone to call for you so early in the morning, and your walking route to school was never shared with another student as far as you were concerned. After all, your path was a little more obscured and unorthodox compared to the majority of students traversing the main neighborhood paths.

“Sorry… did I scare you?” You stop and turn to the source of the voice, only to be surprised when you see Kise himself. “Why do you look so surprised? Didn’t we agree on the time to meet up and walk to school together?”

“Oh… yeah…” In the midst of your thoughts, it seems that you forgot the arrangements you made with him yesterday evening. “My bad?”

“Oh, come on,” he gives a mock-hurt face with a hand to his chest. “Am I that forgettable, (y/n)?”

“N-No!” you immediately deny. You knew it was more like the other way around, the way constant thoughts of Kise preoccupy in your head too much. How can you ever forget him when he constantly runs through your mind everyday for so long? Kise merely gives a good-natured sigh before he changes the subject.

“Kidding,” he says, holding out a hand to you. “Seriously though, get your act together. We gotta start acting the part if we want this to work.” You stare at his hand, hesitating for a split moment before you put your own hand on top. His large hand easily encompasses yours, and the warmth makes you widen your eyes. It… felt nice.

You were so entranced by your linked hands that you failed to notice how Kise was staring at your face with a sharp glint in his eyes, but when you look up back to his face, he easily morphs his expression into his signature grin. He swings your hands around like an excited kid and turns to walk ahead to tug you along.

“Alrighty!~ Let’s hurry together before I get chewed out by Kasamatsu-senpai!”

“Kise, have you ever considered that it’s not really your tardiness that gets the captain mad but more so about the way you seem to irritate him with the way you skip around?”

“(y/n),” he says with a pout, “you know you’re not being convincing when you use my last name to address me as your boyfriend.”

“R-Right,” you stammer, still not used to the entire situation. “Ah… wait. Don’t you uh… call people who are close to you with -cchi?”

“Huh…” he mumbles, looking up at the cloudy sky before looking ahead of the path. “Not necessarily people who are close, just people who I really admire. I guess I addressed you like that yesterday without really thinking.”

“U-Uh, right… sorry.” He stops walking with your hand still in tow, and you almost bumped into his back at his sudden movement. He turns to you with a quite serious look.

“Do you want me to call you that?”

It was a normal question, but for some reason it felt like the next sentence coming from your mouth would make a huge impact on the way the two of you would interact in the future. From the way Kise looks at you with such a scrutinizing gaze, it feels like a trick question, and you’re not sure how to answer it. Your mouth goes dry when you try to reply.

“I… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Kise’s eyes widen a fraction before he gives an unexpected chortle. “Pfft… how do you not know what you want to be addressed as?”

“Arrgh, oh shut it!” you frown, hitting his arm in a fluster before stalking off ahead. You remember that you were supposed to go to school together, and you begrudgingly stop and turn back to wait for him to catch up. “Ryōta, just call me whatever you want. You’re already calling me by my first name, so I doubt anyone would care if you added -cchi or not.” Still, your cheeks turn pink at the realization that Kise would be uttering your first name for the next couple… whenever this relationship will last.

“You… wait up!” Kise wheezes dramatically, despite the both of you knowing full well how easily he can catch up to your stride. “You really shouldn’t be treating your boyfriend like that! Especially on the first day!” Kise holds your hand again to lead you to the rest of the way to school.

All the while, you’ve been staring at his back, your heartstrings being tugged so mercilessly at the cacophony of emotions you were feeling the whole time. He felt so warm, so inviting, but the way he held your hands felt cold and transactional.

———

You’re not sure how to react whenever Kise introduced himself as your “boyfriend” to everyone or whenever nosy students inquired about your new “boyfriend.” All you could do was gulp and manage the most convincing act you could do within different contexts. Smile, laugh, get bashful, be modest in talking about how Kise managed to “like” you, pretend you know many embarrassing stories and sides to him that no one else did. Truthfully, you were just as in the dark as anybody else.

You think the only reason why everyone bought the couple-act was due to how enamored you were in talking about him. This was the only response you could be truthful about. At least you could use your huge crush to your advantage in portraying yourself as the “lovey-dovey” half of the couple. Yet it feels unbelievably wrong.

You knew you had to prepare yourself some preset answers for curious students, but you didn’t expect yourself to be participating in neverending “interviews” in these social settings. You thought this relationship would entail a closer access to Kise’s true self, but things suggest otherwise.

“Ryōta,” you say, peering up at his face as the both of you walk down the hallway to your designated spot for lunch together. Even as you two walk, he puts a reasonable distance between the two of you when there is no one in close proximity. Even when you two are together, he only grabs your hand when it’s socially convenient. Even when Kise approaches you to talk, you know it’s never anything beyond for the sake of acting. And you agreed to this entire thing.

“Hm?” He spares a glance to your figure before returning his gaze ahead.

“Uh, I brought extra food today,” you say, trying to use this situation to try to express your genuine feelings to him in small increments. “I brought an extra bento box too… in case, you don’t wanna actually share one…” He was about to reply before a pair of students turned around the corner to head towards your direction. Kise narrows his eyes at the unexpected turn of events, and immediately turns to you brightly.

“(y/n)! You really thought that I wouldn’t like the idea?” he pouts. “Of course I wanna share a bento with you! Silly…” He slightly bends to your level to place a chaste peck on your forehead.

“Ah…” you freeze at his soft touch, your legs stiff in place as you stop walking. Kise, in response, moves his lips to your ears, and you slightly shiver at the unexpected intimacy… it was the closest he’s gotten to you ever since that public stunt when he kissed you in front of everyone the other day.

“Hey, don’t just stand there… you can’t overreact like this over something couples do everyday.” You bit your lip in an attempt to stop your heart from sinking from disappointment, but in turning your face to him to spill an apology, your face ended up right in front of his. Your eyes widen but he only stares at you with such an intensity that makes you hold your breath in anticipation.

But he immediately draws away and stretches with a yawn. “Looks like those people left right after they thought they intruded on a private moment between us,” he says. “Sheesh, people really do the most to be so nosy nowadays.” You wonder how he can be so casual about this all. Perhaps it was a mistake to be here like this when you were so in love with him, overthinking every single thing he did.

Why didn’t he kiss you this time? Did he not find you the teensiest attractive enough to want to kiss you even without an audience nearby?

“Come on,” he mumbles, waving a hand through your face. “Quit making that face. I won’t be doing that to you without warning anytime soon. My bad, okay?” Kise sheepishly holds out a hand for a handshake to make peace, and you wordlessly take his hand. One day, you’ll stop being his special someone to savor his warmth…

No, you thought, you’re an idiot… he’s never considered you as someone special.

You debated in telling him that you were fine with him kissing you, but you hold your tongue, afraid that he’ll realize your true feelings about him. Besides, were you really okay with him kissing you when he didn’t reciprocate the same feelings?

“It… wasn’t like what you think,” you hesitate. “It just caught me off guard.”

“Well,” he laughs. “That’s a relief! By the way…” He stops to settle himself on the bench. “What’s exactly your lunch? Since you went through the effort to bring extras, I guess I’ll eat them.”

“I packed salmon from leftovers I had from home,” you reply, taking out your bento box and utensils. You decide to shake off your negative thoughts and shove them to the back of your mind. He makes a horrified face at the lunchbox. “Kise, what’s wrong?”

“Do you… happen to have anything else packed?”

“Rice?”

“Well,” he coughs. “I’m not a fan of dishes with boned fish.”

“Didn’t you say you hated unagi too?” Kise shyly averts his gaze before he reluctantly confirms it so. “They’re delicious though! Especially when they’re grilled!” At first, he refused to answer, but the more you tried to poke and prod (literally too, at his ribs), he finally gave in.

“Alright, alright! But I swear, you better not tell anyone!… I choked on a fish bone one time…”

“… And?”

“And yeah.”

“You choked on a bone once and you got scared out of eating fish—”

“Shhhh!” he hushes, emphasizing his hiss with a finger to his lips. At this very moment, you saw a glimpse into who Kise really is, and you can’t help but bust out a genuine, carefree laugh for the first time in front of him. In embarrassment, he bonks your head with his fist to get you to stop laughing, but it only makes you more conscious of how close he is to you.

But just as quickly and telepathically, Kise puts some distance between the two of you, sitting closer to the edge of the bench. He opts to hunch over casually and keenly watch you scarf down your meal in minutes without a care.

You wonder if you should feel guilty for enjoying this moment with Kise, even if he was only waiting with you out of obligation of being your “boyfriend,” but right now, you allowed yourself to indulge, letting your heart beat sporadically without guilt and fear for once. You continue to savor your lunch in silence, concentrating on munching around the fish bones, while Kise sat in contemplation all the while.

———

“You should come watch our practice game today, (y/n).”

“Eh?”

You tilt your head at him in confusion. It’s been two weeks since you started this arrangement with him, but nothing extraordinary or groundbreaking happened between the two of you, much to your despondency. But you knew, you shouldn’t be asking for too much when you already have the once-in-a-lifetime chance to be close to him like this.

“There’s going to be a lot of people coming,” he explains. “Even if it’s just a practice game… it’d be weird if you weren’t there, because, you know, we’re dating.”

“I don’t mind going,” you reply. “It sounds fun.”

“You know, you’ve been agreeing to everything I’ve been suggesting the entire time,” he mumbles to himself, but he zips his mouth shut when he sees you instinctively moving closer to try to catch what he said. “Uh, in any case… just stop by the gym whenever you can.”

So here you are a few hours later, being the first person to settle yourself on top of the 2nd floor of the gym. You rest your arms on the railway, fascinated by the Kaijō basketball team and their skills. As they warm up on the courts, it’s the first time you see Kise truly at ease and happy with the people he cares about, and your heart pangs in jealousy seeing his genuine smile. You were pulled out of your thoughts when you realized the gym became completely crowded, the constant chattering announcing huge crowds along the entrance and the lucky watchers at the 2nd floor with you.

You didn’t mind the onlookers when all you were focused on was Kise throughout the entire game with a smitten look, and you weren’t surprised when his team easily won against the other local school.

“That’s Kise isn’t it?” You were about to turn to leave the higher floor to wait outside the gym when you heard his name. You stop to eavesdrop on the conversation next to you.

“Yeah, I’ve been hearing about him way too much. Something about him dating now?”

“He’s dating (l/n) right now, which is super weird because they never even talked… and all of the sudden, they’re dating? I didn’t think of him to be into short-term flings.”

“You think he’s using (l/n) in some way? What an asshole.”

“Yikes. You’re probably not even that far off the bulls-eye. He’s a really heartless guy, from what I’ve heard.”

“Hey,” you interrupt, scaring the two girls out of their wits before they turn to you. “I don’t think you should talk about Kise like that when all you know of him is through speculation.”

“Ugh, here we go again with his fans…” one of them groans, rolling her eyes. “Look, I get it, he’s good-looking and all, but I don’t understand how you can defend him to death when he doesn’t even spare a glance at you… ah… shit, you’re (l/n)?” A flash of hurt was visible on your face for a split second before you frowned. Their words unintentionally hit the nail in the coffin.

“Whether I’m (l/n) or not doesn’t really matter,” you say angrily. “Gossiping about anyone like that isn’t something you should make a habit out of.”

“Jeez, let’s just leave,” the other girl whispers, dragging the first girl along.

You simply stand there watching them leave, but you can’t shake off what they said. They were right… how could you be so whipped for him when you know he’ll never see you the same way?

“Oy!”

Kise’s voice brings you back to your consciousness as he waves at you from the court. “You’ve been standing there for a while! Hurry up, or I’ll leave you behind, (y/n)-cchi!”

“Coming!” You race from the 2nd floor to the ground level to catch up to him, your heart pounding all the while. Did he… did he just…?

You shake your head before you reunite with him to walk home together. Stop it… don’t overthink it.

———

Kise waits at his usual spot to wait for you before walking to school together. It’s been three weeks since he’s approached you to “date.” He’s grown quite comfortable with this arrangement, being close to you and backing off when it’s convenient. After all, if you somehow showed a gruesome true self of yours, he’d be able to separate himself from you with no consequences… even if his heart would cry out not to.

“Ryōta!” There you are, running down the path towards him so cheerfully. Could you really be an awful person when you have such a pure smile like that?

“Ah, (y/n)-cchi,” he says. “We should hurry if we wanna be inside campus. It’s a little chilly today, so being indoors sounds really nice right now.” He peers over to your face to see your nose slightly red from the cold, and he huffs out a chuckle, noting the warm puff of air escaping from his own lips.

“I guess it’s a little cold today,” you say, looking up at Kise with a slight childish wonder. “Hey, that’s a pretty cool cloud that you puffed out.”

“You have some clouds around you too.” He gently smiles, and he notes that your eyes widen at the sight of him. “Wha? Is my face that horrific, (y/n)-cchi?” You avert your gaze as your cheeks grow just as red as your nose.

“Nah… i-it’s nothing…ah—” He holds your cheeks to turn your face back to him, and he draws near with a serious gaze, bumping his forehead against yours.

“You’re actually really cold…”

“Uh, um… I don’t think I’m c-cold anymore—” you stammer, your eyes darting to look everywhere but his face, and Kise’s eyes only scrutinize your behavior further.

“Hm, if you say so…” he mumbles. Your eyes flutter close at the anticipation, and he feels the pull towards your lips, closing his own lids shut…

Wait, what was he thinking? He snaps his lids open and slightly draws himself away to look at you, still vulnerable with your closed eyes. It’s only when he drops his hands from your cheeks and turns to walk ahead when you flutter your eyes open again. Don’t let your feelings for (y/n) blind you into figuring out who they really are.

“Come on,” Kise calls out to you. “We should get going… we don’t wanna be late.” Besides, what if there’s a possibility that you don’t really like him at all?

“Y-Yeah…”

The rest of the walk was in silence, with Kise slightly ahead of you. Perhaps if he turned around at least once to check on you, he would’ve seen the consequences of his actions.

You were silently crying the entire walk.

———

Nothing seems to change much for the entire month. The way the two of you dance and sway around each other, while never being too close, never being too affectionate, never being completely honest. In this shared rose-tinted world, the frail glass that holds these moments together threatens to break with every fickle interaction. Every shared kiss constitutes another small crack to the rose-tinted crystal.

And both of you are content with just the way things are.

Or that’s what you both mutter to yourselves like a mantra.

“Ryōta!” you call out to him. “Did you wait long?”

“Not really,” he says. “I just barely got out too… the teacher was really lenient on dismissal today, actually.” His heart swells at the sight of you as usual, but just as quickly, he’s always managed to quash his emotions in check.

For the first time, you initiate physical touch with him without hesitation, linking your hands with his and snuggling up to him. He flinches, not fast enough to process the sudden warmth of your body, and he immediately separates himself from you. Do you actually like him after all?… No, something is up, right?

“Ryōta…?” You flinch just as severely from the sudden reaction, and he turns to avoid looking at your face, knowing that his resolve would crumble right in front of you. He’s a coward, and he fucking knows it.

“S-Sorry, (y/n)-cchi! I don’t know what came over me like that, but you know you don’t have to force yourself to do things like that, right? There’s no one here, so let’s just walk home together like we always do, yeah?”

He turns to already walk ahead, too afraid of hearing your response and hoping you would follow and catch up to him… like you always do.

You simply stood there for a few moments, anguish clear as the sky above you as you keep telling yourself to manage your own expectations. Still, your voice croaks out quietly to respond to him, even if you knew he wasn’t going to hear it.

“… But I wanted to do these things with you, Ryōta.”

———

It’s been several days since that incident.

It was very awkward for the most part, the walks to and from school silent and suffocating. He’s not quite sure how to go about it while trying not to sound disingenuous about it. Nonetheless, even through his quiet apology, your face still lights up, and he’s confused about why you would ever be so forgiving of him.

Although today, lines have been crossed and this shared secretive world between the two of you have completely shattered to the point of no return.

It was quite a blur, an instinct that Kise has developed over the course of this relationship. Every time a group of students drew near, he was always ready to tug you close for a kiss until they left and carry on with their day. Today was usually no exception.

Another group of students was hanging around the corner, presumably spying on you two, and Kise did what he’s always done, grabbing your hand and embracing you for a kiss. Your eyes were blown open in surprise, but when you saw Kise’s eyes elsewhere, something finally snapped inside.

You push him away at his chest.

“U-Unagi… unagi…” Your voice trembles, and you use your arms to cover up the fresh tears. The code word sounds unbelievably stupid out of context, but at this moment, the word alone stabs Kise in his chest. “I-I… just stop… please.” Kise stares dumbly at you, processing the fact that you just used the agreed safe word against him.

“… (y/n)-cchi?” Kise asks with a confused smile. “You’ve never objected to kissing before… I’ve even told you what we’ll be doing if you agreed to this…?”

“How…” you choke on tears. “H-How can you kiss me like that while your eyes are on someone else…?”

“I don’t understand—”

“A-Am I that atrocious to kiss unless you stare at something else or there’s some convenience?”

“I don’t get it, (y/n)-cchi,” he frowns. “Did you expect more out of this or am I missing something?”

“There was no reason to kiss me like that,” you softly wail. “Everyone already knows we’re a thing for… o-over a month now. There’s no reason to kiss me around people anymore when they won’t suspect us anyways…”

“So you don’t want me to kiss you anymore?” Kise’s heart sinks in thinking about where this is going.

“No!—you don’t… you don’t fucking get it! I don’t get it—! Why are we doing this anymore—I just, I see no reason to continue this anymore… you already shooed off your fans, right? Why haven’t you ended this?!”

“(y/n)-cchi—I…” He reaches out for you, but you immediately recoil.

“No—please… no more, I can’t do this anymore!” you sniffle. “I can’t fucking do this… I’m done, I’m tired—please… just look for another person to take my place… I… I’m done—I can’t pretend with you anymore when I always expect more out of it like a love-stricken fool!”

“I…”

“Look—see,” you choke. “I’m just like everyone else who’s in love with you, I’m no different than everyone else R-Ryōta… so that’s why, I-I… can’t do this anymore!”

Kise stands there, staring at you running away from him. It was like everything had gone silent, save for the sound of his blood pounding in his ears.

“You think he’s using (l/n) in some way? What an asshole.”

“Yikes. You’re probably not even that far off the bulls-eye. He’s a really heartless guy, from what I’ve heard.”

He hated rumors, he really did… but for the first time, he feels like he deserves every word thrown at him around the hallways and classrooms. His memory flits to the time when he felt warm from seeing you standing up for him, even if he wasn’t bothered by them before. Now, the warmth is replaced by agonizing regret and guilt wracking through his entire body. His hands feel cold with you gone from his side.

What has he done?

———

He’s grown quiet for the next week.

It’s been a week since you ran from him, and it’s been a week since he last talked to you.

Even his teammates were concerned about his reserved behavior, but just as always, he’s managed to shoot them a convincing smile. Kasamatsu was more persistent about this but eventually dropped it seeing Kise’s refusal to talk about it.

That day when you pushed him away, he couldn’t sleep, his thoughts keeping him awake the entire night. He resolved himself to talk to you the next day… but he changed his mind the last minute… and then he told himself he’d do it the next day… and then he changed his mind again.

He tells himself that it’s because you rightfully hate him, with the way you’d surround yourself with other crowds and groups to prevent him from walking up to you when you were alone. He tells himself that it’s because both you and him needed space to cool off and go back to the way you two were. He refuses to tell himself that it’s because he’s an honest-to-god coward.

He misses you. He misses you damn badly. Why the fuck did he go through such lengths instead of confessing to you straight up? He tells himself that he was being cautious. He tells himself that he doesn’t want his heart to be broken again. He refuses to conclude that it’s because he’s a fucking coward.

“I don’t know what’s been on your mind, idiot,” Kasamatsu says. “But you better solve this yourself quickly if you’re not opening up to me about this. We can’t have your performance quality be dropping even in practice. Hurry up and fix this shit with (l/n)-san already.”

“H-How’d you know?!” Kise raises his head from his desk in astonishment.

“Tch, idiot,” he glowers, chopping Kise’s head with a swift hand. “It’s too obvious from the way you’re moping around… from the way you two stuck together all this time, who wouldn’t notice something happened from the way you’re at your desk watching (l/n)-san like that?”

“O-Ow…” Kise grumbles rubbing his head. Ironically, his captain’s hit cleared up his doubts and he took a deep breath before exhaling. “Got it, senpai.”

“You better.” Kasamatsu goes back to talking to his classmates during break, and even despite not knowing the truth of the relationship, he manages to give solid advice as usual.

Tomorrow. He’ll find you tomorrow.

———

He doesn’t know where else to find you alone other than the place he’s always waited for you before you two used to walk to school together. So he stands there, almost an hour earlier in case you had the idea to walk to school extremely early to avoid him at all costs.

He was right.

Here you are, shuffling your feet as you trudged yourself along the path and looking down at your feet. You even manage to walk past by him without noticing his presence.

Even if you’ve grown to hate him, he’s willed himself to come completely clean about his feelings to you for once. But a part of him is thinking to change his mind again and just let you slip away from his fingers. It’d spare the both of you the inevitable, right?

“R-Ryōta…?”

He was pulled from his thoughts, startled to see you staring at him from a short distance away. Apparently you did notice him after all.

“… (y/n)-cchi…” He swallows his words, knowing full well that his stupid words might blow this up for him again, his words responsible for all the rumors at school, his words responsible for hurting you and will hurt you again.

He wordlessly walks up to you and holds your cheek, and waits. He waits for you to push him away again. He waits for you to say the code word to let him know that you don’t want him near you again. The thought of you running away from him nearly brings him to tears, but he gulps his emotions down and stares at you calmly, with only his upturned brows hinting to his inner turmoil.

“Ryō—”

He swiftly brings his head down and kisses you. In feeling the warmth for the first time in a while, he greedily drinks from your lips, holding your temples more firmly as he searches for more, more, more.

You push him away.

Kise immediately lets go and stares at you like a lost child, unable to mask the devastation from the implications of your actions. But you’re still gripping his uniform tightly, almost as if you didn’t want to let go.

“W-Why…?” you croak, biting your lips to stop any tears from breaking through. “There’s no reason to kiss me. Don’t you know that we’re done? There’s no one to watch us here, no reason for you to walk me to school anymore. You know that, Ryōta. After all, we haven’t talked since a week ago, and you have the audacity to come here and kiss me like everything is okay—”

“… I want to kiss you, because there’s no one around, because there’s no other reason for me to.”

“Why…?” your voice softens to a whisper. “Don’t you hate anyone who likes you in that way? I… I already told you that I see you in that light, like many of your fans do. Don’t you hate me? Don’t you hate me for using this arrangement to get closer to you? Don’t you hate me for expecting something real out of this?”

“I already had an inkling of suspicion that you liked me, (y/n)-cchi,” Kise turns away to look at the bright morning sky. “I just didn’t know if I was wrong or not.”

“Then… why did you ask me to do this whole thing with you…?”

“Because I’m a coward,” he says, looking back to you. You were stunned into silence. For the first time, he finally admits what’s been weighing on his mind for weeks out loud, and his eyes, while drenched in shame, were full of resoluteness. “I liked you, but I was too afraid for the day when you ended up being not like the person I ended up liking. I liked you, but I was afraid of a real relationship that would tie me down. I liked you, but I was afraid of making huge decisions that involved another person into my life. I didn’t want to end the fake relationship because I was too fucking selfish… if I ended it, I’d lose the only connection I had with you… I’m sorry.”

Both of you went silent, bathed in the light of the rising sun. Kise drops to a squat to hide his face from you, and you knew he was trying to stop himself from tearing up. He knows how uncool he looks, but he had no right to cry when you were the one who got hurt the most.

“Ryōta, did you really find it difficult to kiss me…? Just… be honest.”

“Yes,” he looks up from his squat to stare at you with an intense look, even despite his puffy eyes. “Everytime I kissed you, I found it hard to control myself. I thought, what if you were using me to somehow get a kiss from me? or what if I couldn’t stop myself from kissing you and I ended up taking things too far? Looking anywhere but you at least stopped me from getting too invested…”

By now, both of you had turned completely red at his honesty, but he still found you frankly stunning even with your red, puffy eyes. “Look, (y/n)-cchi, don’t you hate me? I used you. The rumors are right—I’m a complete asshole. Just… I won’t blame you if you walk away right now.”

“You do know that I used this opportunity to get closer to you, right?… I wasn’t a saint about this either, so… I’m sorry too.” Both of you go silent again, and you slowly drop yourself to his level in a squat of your own in front of him.

“… C-Can we… can we start over?” you whisper, your warm breath tickling his chilled nose.

“(y/n)-cchi, I don’t think I’m capable of continuing this arrangement…”

“No,” you huff, before you tentatively press a chaste kiss to his lips. “I mean… can we… start over, but this time, as a real couple? I… want this relationship to be substantial. I really do like you, Ryōta.” You murmur against his lips with your hands on top of your knees, waiting for him to rebuke you away with an easygoing comment or a plastered smile.

But he doesn’t do any of that.

“I… guess we can try that,” Kise mumbles, gaze averted as his cheeks flame brighter than his nose and ears.

“Can you kiss me again?” you ask, your voice cracking at the end out of fear he’d turn down your request. Kise flicks his gaze back to you to see you equally red with a hesitant expression.

“Could you… close your eyes?” he asks with a frown.

“H-Huh?”

“Y-You don’t need to see me looking like a mess, I don’t look charming right now.”

“I… guess…” After a few moments of hesitation, you flutter your eyes shut, waiting apprehensively for his lips to descend onto yours again. Kise holds your cheeks and takes the time to admire your features for the first time, and his smile grows wider with every passing second.

‘R-Ryōta…?” Afraid of the fact that he actually may not like kissing you after all, you worriedly open your eyes, only to be greeted by the most brilliant smile from Kise, his figure illuminated by the sunshine hitting the back of his head at the perfect angle.

“(y/n)-cchi,” he teases with a small pout. “Didn’t I tell you to close your eyes?”

Who needs a rose-tinted lens when the sight before you is already so radiant to behold?

[sparkywanderer]

Parallels in SK8 The Infinity: Why Renga will (probably) get a happy ending

So uh. I had a ton of thoughts after the recent episode. So I wrote a thing about parallels and stuff and not gonna lie it’s kinda long (I get sidetracked like 5 times and have not edited this to be concise so it’s really bad???). Here it is, though, if you would like to read my rambling anyway!

Spoilers for Episode 8

Sk8 really likes its parallels. Whether it be how many times it likes to group Langa and Adam together as the “talented ones” or equals or whatever, or how the writers put Cherry/Joe and Adam’s separation with Langa and Reki’s in episode 7 practically back-to-back, it’s clear that they’re all tied up together in some specific way. Not only that, but Miya’s story of losing his friends due to his skateboarding talents rings eerily similar situation-wise to how Reki isolates himself from Langa due to the latter’s talents (though of course there are major differences and such, but other posts could probably explain way better than me so let’s ignore that for now).

Episode 8 adds another parallel to the mix with the reveal that Tadashi actually taught Adam skateboarding in the first place, because well, guess who taught Langa skateboarding? Guess who else enables the skateboarding of someone else, in Tadashi’s case handling Adam’s other work as a secretary and driving him in/out of S, and in Reki’s case building a skateboard for Langa? And not only that, but guess who else is compared to a dog (albeit more for the sake of a bet than anything)? Think back to the whole bet with Miya.

(I think there’s a manga panel that shows that Langa sorta thinks of Reki as similar to one too, but I’m too lazy to find it tbh)

Tadashi and Adam’s relationship is still a little unclear from episode 8, so there definitely could be more of these parallels, but what we do know is this: these are both pairs that were very, very close, sharing a mutual love for skateboarding, before eventually drifting apart as one became far more engrossed in the sport than the other to the point of danger. The writers portray this through Langa’s incredibly high speeds in Episode 7, and the flashbacks of Adam getting into highly dangerous situations with other people which cause them to get badly injured. Both of them don’t fear the thrill of this wild style of skateboarding, enjoy it even, while others like Reki, Cherry Blossom and Joe clearly do-- setting them apart as similar people, as Adam remarks. Langa mirrors Adam and Reki mirrors Tadashi, which bleeds into their equally mirrored relationships. 

Going more in depth on Reki and Tadashi specifically, both of them are not the best at communicating their feelings. In Reki’s case, he bottles up all of his doubts and anxieties about his relationship with Langa until they eventually culminate into one scene and force them apart. In Tadashi’s, he doesn’t stand up against Adam’s father about letting him continue to skateboard even when he clearly wishes to. They’re different, of course, but both of them are clearly the type to put a mask over how they actually feel: in Reki’s case with an “It’s nothing!”, and in Tadashi’s case with an “I have no opinions”. 

(One of the few times smiling Reki brings me Suffering instead of serotonin)

But what’s the point of this all? What’s the point of drawing out all these random connections between Adam and Langa, and Tadashi and Reki? The purpose isn’t showing the similarities, but the differences. Given everything that’s similar, it’s a lot easier to see what’s distinct, and in my opinion that is what will ultimately set these two relationships apart.

Because here’s the thing: Langa actually cares about Reki. Even if they’re so different in terms of skateboarding skill level (which is not necessarily true, but that’s a whole other thing), Langa cares enough about Reki to not leave him behind. The writers blatantly show this in Episode 6, when Langa stays behind and looks for Reki despite the tantalizing offer of a race with a bunch of very talented skaters right in front of him. (It could be argued that he DOES take the offer instead of focusing on Reki by breaking the promise with Reki in episode 7, but the thing is he also assumes Reki will understand and still support him, clearly surprised at his reaction, so it’s not really the same.)

Meanwhile, just think about what Adam does to Tadashi when he’s so focused on his stupid tournament, in contrast. Using him as a scapegoat for his own goals with no shame whatsoever.

(someone free this man. someone free this man please)

Not only that, though, but his passion for skateboarding isn’t just in the sport itself, but a major part of it is the people he spends time with. Before with snowboarding, it was his father, and when he was gone Langa stopped finding joy in that sport altogether. And now it’s Reki who’s gone, and he’s quickly realizing skateboarding that no longer brings the same thrill that it used to-- as made evident with the sudden shift to snowboarding in that scene, and the absence of his heart beating quickly, which could represent a lot of things but the point is he’s not having fun. Oh wait, that's another parallel.

On the other hand, Adam accepts that he’ll leave some people behind with his talents, dismissing them as unworthy rather than taking the time to actually try and recognize any flaws within himself or his way of thinking. This is perfectly exemplified in the first scene of Episode 8, where he shows little to no concern whatsoever over someone he’d been considering a possible match just a couple of seconds ago. Because it’s as he says: to him, when the perceived “distance” between two people is too great, to the point where it is “unreachable” for one of them, there can be no “real love”.

(oh yeah they both have blue hair too i guess)

But remember, Langa’s not like that. He isn’t willing to so easily give up on Reki like that, as seen with how he consults his mother for advice and still constantly checks to see if he’s there to talk to. He’s not going to so callously give up on him like Adam does with those he skates with, because his version of love isn’t nearly as twisted as his. Instead, he’s going to try and fix things, “repent and make efforts” (though of course neither of them are entirely at fault here), and communicate, as foreshadowed by the latest episode.

Reki, on the other hand, doesn’t show as many signs of wanting to try and reconnect with Langa, as of Episode 8 anyway. But I still have faith in him, because he seems to be having some doubts given his actions-- and more than that, remember what Cherry was talking about when he found him, words that he probably at least kind of listened to! Eventually he’s going to realize that he’s cut off a really good relationship for the wrong reasons, and he’ll have to apply some of these teachings and make efforts to actually communicate once he begins to realize it.

(Also, just take a moment to appreciate the bi calligraphy.)

So what can we take away from all this? Adam said Langa was the same type of person as himself. And sure, maybe that’s true in some ways, but it’s not entirely, and if the anime wants to have any clear thematic messages about relationships, it will most definitely reflect the results of their differences one way or another. At the very least, Reki and Langa will not turn out like Adam and Tadashi did. Because what’s the purpose of constantly comparing and contrasting characters in eerily similar situations, if their differences don’t have any actual effect on the story and the message that it’s ultimately attempting to convey, especially in a short 12 episode anime?

But anyways, if you actually did read this far for some reason, thank you! If I missed anything, you wanna add anything else, or just idk talk about this anime in general, let me know :D

(TLDR: Adam and Langa are sort of similar but also really different because the latter cares for Reki, so therefore this is yet another sports anime that will probably be about the power of friendship/love, and I Pretend I Do Not See whatever death flags there are for Langa I DO NOT SEE THEM!!!) 

[cometoceantrenches]

its for the extra credits

SUMMARY: Seventeen-year old Amaya Sloan didn’t really like this. The situation was just thrust upon her. What was it you ask? Well, its to tutor Hawkins’ resident Bad Boy: Billy Hargrove. Though things take a turn and it isn’t just about tutoring anymore... BILLY HARGROVE X OFC

CHAPTER SUMMARY: It was meant to be a good day, that was until Mr. Wallace tasked Amaya to do something.

A/N: Whoooooo- I’m sweating just typing this. So in case y’all haven’t had it figured out yet, this is a Billy Hargrove x OFC Series. WHAT??? Yes, you read it right. I know I’m trash for shipping her with Billy when I ship her and Steve but iDK. Dont hate me please Imma give credit to @masterkenobi for reading and editing my work  as well as giving moi ideas. Thanks Leslie! <3 <3

FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED. :D 

The second the bell rang, the students packed up their things, ignoring the teacher’s announcements as his voice competed over the teenagers’ chatter. They all filed out of the classroom, relieved that the day was finally over. Although, Amaya wasn’t in so much of a hurry. She looked up to see Steve lingering around her seat as he ran a hand through his hair with an anxious look on his face.

Amaya sighed. “You can pick them up, Steve.” She said to ease his conscience.

The boy turned to her with a sigh of his own. “I’m really sorry, Maya.”

She waved her hand dismissively, brushing her jet black hair over her shoulder with it. “It’s fine. Just make sure Lili does all her homework and that you bring her home safely.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” The brunet shouldered his bag and stuck his hands into his jean pockets.

“Yup. Anyways, Mr. Wallace needs me for something.”

Steve sucked in a breath through his teeth as he weaved through the chairs and towards the doors. “Good luck.” He gave a nod over to the said teacher who was sat behind the desk before heading over to pick up the kids.

The Filipina slung her bag over her shoulder as she approached her class adviser’s table. The balding man looked up from his desk and gave his student a small smile. “Ms. Sloan, I actually thought that you forgot about my appointment with you.”

“Oh, I was just fixing my stuff, sir.”

Mr. Wallace gave a nod of approval before capping his pen and folding his hands together. “I have an important task for you, Ms. Sloan.” The girl shifted in her place and gave a nod for him to continue. He took a breath. “On behalf of Mrs. Drake, I am tasking you to tutor Mr. Hargrove on Chemistry.”

Amaya whole body tensed. Was he serious? She felt as if her shoulders sagged with a heavy weight placed upon them. Frowning she started to protest. “But sir, Hargrove? He’s as stubborn as an ass.”

“Exactly why I’m asking you to tutor him. Obviously, he doesn’t take my lessons seriously and maybe with the help of someone his age, he’ll listen. Besides, I let you off when you two were partnered for a project.”

Amaya ran a hand down her face, exasperated. Her hazel brown eyes scanned the room helplessly as she thought of an alternative or anything that would excuse her from this situation. “I’m flattered sir, really, but why not Kathy Wells or Bryan Reyes? They’re good tutors and I’m pretty sure Kathy will agree to it.”

“I asked you because, aside from the previous stated reasons, you’re a steadfast girl. You know your place. I’ve seen you debate before Ms. Sloan, you’re a tough cookie. It will only be every Thursday and Friday for the next month.” Mr. Wallace smiled up at her encouragingly.

The Filipina held back a whine as she bit her cheeks in thought. After what seemed like forever, she had no choice but to give in. “Will there be any extra credits sir?”

“There will be. And besides, if he does anything to trouble you, you let me know.” Amaya nodded. “Excellent!” Mr. Wallace stood to pack his things up. “The sessions take place after class and for an hour and forty minutes. I’ll have Mr. Hargrove notified soon. Thank you Ms. Sloan, you’re a real big help.”

With a half hearted smile, Amaya bowed her head before heading out to the parking lot. The minute she stepped out into the cold air, she couldn't help but let out a muffled yell of frustration, earning a few concerned glances towards her direction. Garnering attention caused her to silence her woes and go on towards her destination.

Usually, Steve and Amaya parked their cars together but with the loud clamoring the kids caused didn't make the red BMW hard to find. Amaya’s younger sister noticed her first, immediately sensing her stress.

“Why’re you so grouchy?” Lili asked as she pushed herself off the hood of her sister’s white Pontiac Catalina, passed down all the way from her step-grandpa from 1966.

“What'd Mr. Wallace ask you to do?” Steve inquired, trying to squeeze himself in the pair’s conversation.

“Two words. Tutor and Hargrove.” Amaya grumbled as she pulled out her car keys.

Lili audibly gasped and Steve frowned, placing a hand on her shoulder to comfort her somehow. One way or another, Max overheard the conversation and left the one (something about the science behind Back to the Future) going on between the rest of the boys and El.

“You have to tutor Billy?” The redhead asked to affirm what she had just heard.

“Yes, and I don't wanna talk about it. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil.” Amaya finally got the door to her Catalina open before turning to her sister. “You still going to the arcade?”

Lili pushed back the thick white headband on her head before nodding. “Unless you want me to come back home with you?”

With a shake of her head, the older Sloan slipped into her car and rolled down the window. “Make sure to be safe and have fun. And don't use up all your quarters like last time, alright?” Turning to Steve she instructed him to keep the kids safe and make sure they don't do anything that involves either her or Nancy being prostituted off to Keith (again).

“Yeah, yeah, just don't worry about it. You should worry about making cue cards and shit for Hargrove.” He received a groan from his friend. “Hey, if he bothering you, tell me okay? I'll deal with it.”

Amaya’s lips quirked a little. She started the car and started pulling out of the parking space. “And have your face beat up again? Thanks but no thanks, I'd rather see you in one piece.” She waved over to the rest of the party. “You guys have fun. Don't go too crazy though!”

“No promises!” Dustin replied with a smile.

The seventeen-year-old rolled her eyes at the kid’s antics and drove off from the parking lot, seeing them wave goodbye. Once her car was a speck that disappeared behind the buildings near the school, Lili dropped her hand and turned to Steve.

“I really hope Hargrove and *ate Maya don't get into fight…”

The brunette sighed and gave a gentle yet firm pat to her shoulder. “Me too kid.”

After sharing a few seconds of silence with her, he turned to the other kids and rounded them up, pushing them all in the car before driving off to the arcade.

*ate - term for older sister in Filipino

[ourshineeshrine]

My Number One Fan

Chapter 23 Pairing: JongKey Word Count: 4,612 Summary: Kibum goes to the same, run-down bar every week to watch the man of his affections sing his heart out with a mere guitar for company. He wasn’t expecting the coffee, nor the beautiful personality within the singer. And he definitely wasn’t expecting to fall in love.

A/N: this chapter seems a little boring, idk? it all heats up next chapter though so wooo! for now, enjoy <3

Soon enough Wednesday had arrived, and for the first time in a short while Kibum found himself sitting in the dance room with both Taemin and Minho at lunchtime. Minho had looked the upmost relieved when Kibum had told him that he’d made up with Taemin, but that didn’t stop the awkward aura from lingering around Minho as he interacted with Taemin for the first time since the incident in the hallway.

It was more than obvious to observe that the two hadn’t spoken about what had transpired that day, but Kibum decided against bringing it up, and tried desperately to talk about the things that were going on in his life instead. And well, according to both Taemin and Minho, that meant Jonghyun.

“Have you two screwed yet?” had been the first question Taemin had asked, leaning forward devilishly in an attempt to read Kibum’s expression. The hesitation Kibum had in replying was all he needed as a response. The first year sniggered wildly whilst shooting Kibum scandalous looks, nudging Minho in the ribs as though it was the most amusing thing he’d ever heard. “That’s nasty, Kibum.”

Kibum stuttered. “N-No, we haven’t! We haven’t gone that far yet…I was just shocked by the question.”

“But you’ve done something along those lines, right?” Taemin was hitting the nail on the head, but Kibum merely shrugged and looked away.

“Who cares about that?” he replied, a bright crimson adorning him cheeks.

Minho and Taemin chortled loudly, shooting Kibum the most suggestive looks they could muster. Astounded by their immaturity (and adorableness, but he wouldn’t admit that aloud), Kibum could only roll his eyes and attempt to change the subject. Before he could speak up however, Minho was doing it for him.

“Actually, Kibum,” he began, in between his bouts of laughter. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Hm?”

Shyness and uncertainty weaved its way into Minho’s expression, and he took one last deciding breath before speaking what was on his mind. “Well…Since you two are so close and all…I was thinking that maybe you could set me up on a date with Amber? Or something?”

Kibum blinked before turning his head in astonishment to gauge Taemin’s reaction. He could tell that the younger boy was trying as hard as he could to keep a straight, interested face, but the faint furrows between his brows told Kibum that he felt otherwise. Jealousy burned behind his eyes, and Kibum took note of the way his fists clenched tightly at the fabric of his pants.

“Oh…Right.” Kibum spoke, biting his bottom lip awkwardly. “Look, Minho…It’s just that Amber doesn’t normally like people or wanna date them like that, y’know? She’s not into all that serious stuff and she probably wouldn’t stay committed. I don’t want you going down that black hole, Minho.”

It was true, certainly. For as long as he’d known Amber (which was quite a while), he’d never actually seen her in a serious relationship. Sure, she’d done a bit of mucking around but labelling someone as her boyfriend or girlfriend? It would probably be a few more years until any of that sort happened. Maybe he would have tried to set them up if the circumstances had been a little different. But Taemin had a huge crush on Minho and it was safe to say that Kibum would rather see those two together than Minho and Amber. And he definitely didn’t want to see Taemin’s heart breaking when the object of his affections ditched him for a girl because God knows that Kibum knew how that felt.

Taemin’s shoulders visibly sagged in relief and Minho sighed deeply in disappointment. “I figured that.” he replied, and Kibum was again reminded of how amazingly understanding Minho was. “Oh well, I suppose. It was worth a try.”

Kibum smiled grimly and patted Minho’s shoulder. “It’s alright, buddy. There’s plenty of other people out there who are worth your time. You just gotta open your frog-like eyes a little wider.”

“Oi!” laughed Minho, which was followed by a loud snort from Taemin.

“Don’t mock his eyes, Kibum. He gets a little defensive about resembling an amphibian.”

Laughing out loud, Kibum turned to face Minho with fake apology swimming in his eyes. “Sorry, Kermit. It won’t happen again.”

Minho’s mouth dropped in disbelief and Taemin squealed in amusement, and Kibum had never been so glad to be reunited with his friends once again. But, bladder was calling, and so regrettably Kibum dismissed himself to go use the bathroom. “I’ll be right back, guys.”

Upon Kibum’s departure, the attention was focused solely on Minho and Taemin, where Minho was regarding the first year with caution and concern. An awkward silence lingered in the air and Taemin’s gaze was directed at only the floor beneath him. “So um, Taem…you know about what I overheard the other day, about Kai? You know you can tell me about that, right? We’re best friends. I don’t want you thinking that you can’t trust me or tell me things that might be worrying you.”

For a few moments Taemin remained silent before reluctantly lifting his gaze to meet Minho’s. His mouth felt dry and his throat tight, but he recalled what Kibum had told him about Minho’s kindness and understanding. Taemin knew that. Of course he did. Minho was easily the purest and most loyal person Taemin had ever known. And so because of that, it was with a little hesitation that Taemin began confessing what had happened back then with Kai.

“It’s true.” he began. “I-I did kiss Kai. I guess I had a little crush on him, I don’t know. I thought he liked me too, to be honest. That’s why I did it. But um…” Taemin worried his lip and subconsciously picked at his fingernails. “He didn’t feel the same, obviously. He punched me, left and never really spoke to me again. He just told everyone in my year level that I was disgusting and gay—But I’m not! Just so you know, I’m not gay. I just liked him. That’s all, I swear.”

“Taemin…” spoke Minho softly. “Even if you were gay, you know I wouldn’t give a shit right? Kibum’s gay and I don’t treat him any different.”

Taemin nodded. “I know that! But I’m really not gay, okay? I’d tell you if I thought I was. You really don’t think it’s disgusting?”

Minho leant forward to ruffle Taemin’s hair. “Never, Taeminnie. I just think that Kai is a real fucking jerk and that I should go beat him up right now.”

“No!” Taemin laughed. “Don’t do that, please! It’ll probably make it even worse.”

“Alright…If you say so. Ah, Taemin, you’re seriously awesome. I’m so glad you’re my best friend.”

A barely noticeable blush coloured Taemin’s cheeks and he grinned giddily. “Same here…Kermit.”

Jonghyun laid on his bed sloppily, scrolling through his twitter feed and laughing quietly to himself every so often at an amusing meme which had appeared. Being an aspiring musician who only works Sundays and doesn’t go to university (which Jonghyun wasn’t sure if he regretted quite yet), it was obvious to see that Jonghyun had plenty of time on his hands to simply lounge around at home and do nothing. Seodam had been trying to convince him to get out of the house more often with a gym membership or a part time job, but it wasn’t as though he had any bills to pay and staying at home all day was more than okay to Jonghyun.

A steady knock sounded at his bedroom door, and Jonghyun hummed loudly in response. The door creaked open and Seodam popped her head around the corner, smiling slyly at Jonghyun’s figure. “Hello, brother.”

Jonghyun looked up from his phone and greeted his sister with a frown. “Hello? Back from work already?”

The medical student laughed and gestured to her watch. “Jonghyun, it’s already four o’clock.”

“Oh. Well was it fun then?”

Seodam grinned mischievously, walking in and taking a seat on Jonghyun’s desk chair. “I guess so…But I’m sure it wasn’t as fun as what transpired here on Sunday night, right?”

It took a while for the words to process in Jonghyun’s head, but once they had he choked loudly on his spit and regarded Seodam with large, worried eyes. “W-What the heck are you talking about?”

“Oh, Hyun-ah…Darling…You know what I’m talking about.”

Jonghyun casually shrugged his shoulders and returned his gaze back to the screen of his phone. “No, actually. I’m afraid I don’t.”

His mother had joined them now, and was leaning against the doorframe with an uncharacteristically evil smile adorning her expression. Jonghyun shifted nervously in his position on the bed, and felt his cheeks automatically flush red in embarrassment. The two females shared a strange look and Jonghyun attempted as best as he could to simply ignore them. That proved a lot harder than it seemed when Seodam started speaking once again.

“Need me to jog your memory? I think it went something like…” her voice lifted in pitch, and she gripped a nearby pillow tightly in her grasp with eyes clenched shut. “Ngh—Kibum!”

Jonghyun picked up the cushion beneath him and tossed it roughly at his sister. “What the fuck, shut up, Seodam! Why do you sound like a ten year old girl, anyway?”

Seodam threw her arms up in surrender. “Hey! Don’t blame me, I’m just copying what I heard. Sorry to break it to you, buddy, but that’s literally how you sounded. And mum, tell your son off please. He threw a pillow at me for no reason.”

“I had plenty of reason! Frickin’ hell, you’re so immature. Get lost.”

His cheeks were practically crimson now, and Jonghyun refused to make any sort of eye contact with his mother who had witnessed the whole conversation. Had he seriously sounded like that? Jonghyun had honestly never felt so humiliated in his entire life. The topic of sex was already embarrassing enough, but for his family to have heard him? At that moment Jonghyun was seriously contemplating curling up into a ball and dying beneath his duvet.

“Seodam, stop hassling your brother. And Jonghyun, stop throwing pillows around.” his mother laughed, moving to leave the room with a departing wink. “Oh, and maybe make sure we’re not home next time you decide to…get frisky.”

Jonghyun groaned loudly in aggravation. “Frisky? Are you kidding me? This family sucks.”

Still seated in the desk chair, Seodam chuckled good-naturedly. “Calm down, we’re just messing with you, Hyun-ah. But seriously, how was it? Did Kibum enjoy it?”

Deadpan, Jonghyun simply stared at Seodam in disbelief. “We are not having this conversation right now.”

“Oh yes we are, buddy. I know you’re not very experienced in that department so tell me, did Kibum enjoy it? That’s very important in a relationship, y’know.”

“What the heck do you know about my experience…” he muttered quietly, before simply rolling his eyes and answering the question at hand. “And I’m not sure? I’m pretty sure he did. You tell me. You were the one listening in, after all.”

Poking her tongue out playfully, Seodam offered a simple shrug in response to Jonghyun’s accusations. “Don’t go kink shaming me, buddy. Now listen here, I’ve dealt with a lot of guys like Kibum before and let me tell you, I know what they like—“

Jonghyun had honest to God never been so lost for words in his entire life. Here his sister was, sitting on his chair, and trying to give him sex advice nonetheless. “—Seodam, in case you’ve forgotten I too am I guy. I’m pretty sure I know what they like.”

“It’s different when there’s two people.”

“If I want sex advice, I’ll just go watch porn or something. No offence, but this isn’t the type of thing you want to hear from your sister.”

Seodam’s jaw dropped and she shook her head ferociously before diving onto the bed beside Jonghyun. “Nope, nope, nope! Don’t you know porn is a bunch of bullshit? Hearing this from your sister is better than gaining some shitty unrealistic advice from porn. You don’t have anything better to do, so I’m going to tell you everything I know. I am a doctor after all—“

“But you’re a med student?” frowned Jonghyun.

“Hush, child. Same thing. Wow, I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Me neither.”

Seodam continued speaking as though Jonghyun had never said anything. “You’re all grown up now…” She wiped away some fake tears from the corner of her eyes. “Now, Jonghyun. When two people – in your case, two handsome fellas – like each other very much, they can decide to take the next step in their relationship.”

Jonghyun whinged loudly and buried his face into a nearby pillow. He just hoped to God this conversation wasn’t going to last much longer. It did.

The following day eventually arrived, and found Kibum leaving his classroom with a relieved sigh at the prospect of school finishing. He’d barely even made it to his locker when his phone started to ring, but answered immediately upon seeing Jonghyun’s contact flashing on the screen.

“Hello!” he sang into the phone, placing his books away nonchalantly.

“Hi, babe.” came Jonghyun’s response, equally as, if not even more happy than Kibum. “Just wondering if you could come over today…I have a surprise.”

Kibum’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape and he paused for a few seconds to think. “Yeah, I should be able to. Is um…your family home?”

A laugh sounded from the other side of the line. “Not that sort of surprise, Key. Just hurry over, alright?”

Flushing pink, Kibum could somehow just feel that Jonghyun was winking mischievously as he spoke. “Um, sure? I’ll be there soon.”

“Great! See you soon, Kibum!” And then the line was cut off, and Kibum was left to stand confusedly in the corridor. How on earth was he meant to get there? Jonghyun hadn’t even offered to pick him up.

Kibum frowned. Was he supposed to just call a taxi or something? He willed his forming anger to calm down by concluding that the surprise would be worth it. Taxis from here probably weren’t even expensive, anyway. But before he could ponder the idea of calling one for much longer, a voice sounded from behind him.

“Hey, Kibum?” It was Minho.

“Hm?”

Minho pulled his keys from his pocket and jangled them around, and all of a sudden Taemin too was by their side. “Jonghyun told me to drop you at his house. And I’m dropping Taemin home as well, so he’ll be coming with us.”

Kibum sighed in relief. “For a second I thought he’d left me to fend for myself.”

“C’mon, Kibum…This is Jonghyun we’re talking about. The sappiest guy on the planet.” Minho chuckled.

“Okay fine, you’re right. We should go, he was really impatient on the phone.”

Taemin wiggled his brows and nudged Kibum impishly in the ribs. “Impatient to fuck?”

Jaw dropping, Kibum slapped Taemin over the head. “No, you little shit. And don’t swear.”

“Says you, ya hypocrite.”

Kibum rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t forget that I’m older than you. You’re still a fetus.”

With a loud chuckle, Minho nodded in agreement and mussed Taemin’s hair so it stuck up cutely at the edges. Taemin crossed his arms over his chest and attempted to look tough instead, but it was clear to see that his heart was fluttering from Minho’s display of affection.

“Thanks for the ride, Minho! I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” spoke Kibum in farewell as he left the car, waving over his shoulder enthusiastically as the two younger boys drove off.

Upon their departure, Kibum turned towards Jonghyun’s house and breathed deeply before heading towards the front door. His confusion and nerves for the impending surprise were immediately quelled as the door swung open to reveal an overly excited Seodam. “Hey, Kibum! Hurry up and get in here, Jonghyun’s getting impatient.”

A wide, eager smile beamed over Kibum’s face and he jogged the last few steps towards the house with a bounce in his step. “Sorry!” he laughed, immediately being pulled into the woman’s tight embrace.

“I didn’t get to talk to you on Sunday night,” she pouted. “You were too…preoccupied elsewhere.”

Kibum flushed a dark red. “Oh…R-Right. Well um, anyway…Where’s Jonghyun?”

Laughing, Seodam opened the door wider to let Kibum in and gestured at Jonghyun who was standing in the hall. Jonghyun beamed and quickly scurried over to where his boyfriend and sister were standing, greeting the former with a quick kiss. “Close your eyes.”

“O…kay?” giggled Kibum, closing his eyes softly and allowing his hands to be grabbed and lead forward by Jonghyun.

“And no peaking!”

He nodded. “Gotcha.”

Kibum shuffled along awkwardly, making sure to not trip or knock his arms against anything in a house that wasn’t his own. His mind attempted to guess just what Jonghyun would be surprising him with, but other than a possible present his mind came to an abrupt halt. “Is it a present?” he muttered, mostly to himself.

Jonghyun chuckled and he might’ve been shaking his head but Kibum couldn’t tell. “Not quite. But I still think you’ll like it very much. Alright, we’re here. Keep your eyes closed, ‘Bummie.”

The sound of a door opening sounded and Jonghyun led him through said door, all the while keeping a firm grip on Kibum’s hand. The door shut behind them and Kibum was vaguely aware that they were in Jonghyun’s bedroom, but pushed the memories of what had happened last time they were there out of his head.

“Okay, Kibum. Open your eyes.”

His eyelids fluttered open and it took Kibum a while for his sight to focus, but once he’d regained his bearings a loud squeal immediately escaped his lips.

Jonghyun smiled widely at his reaction. “She’s a bit tired because it’s the first day she’s been here, but yeah. I got a puppy. Kibum, meet Roo. Roo, meet Kibum.”

A small dachshund puppy sat curled up on Jonghyun’s bed, chest moving up and down steadily as she slept. Kibum excitedly sat down on the bed beside Roo and gently ran his fingers through her soft fur, looking back at Jonghyun with a smile which made the singer’s heart skip a beat at the mere sight.

“I swear she was awake like a minute ago…Sorry.”

Kibum gently shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, just look how adorable she is. Did you get her today?”

“Yep! Seodam picked her up after work as a surprise for me…I’ve been asking for a puppy for a while now, actually. But dogs aren’t that cheap and we never really found the time to go and buy one. Do you like her?”

Face lighting up, Kibum nodded vehemently. “She’s the best! You’re so lucky…” He grinned wistfully and lifted Roo into his lap, placing a peck on the dachshund’s small snout. Her eyes were open now and instinctively her tail began to wag, giving Kibum’s hand a happy lick.

“Well actually…I was thinking that we could kind of raise her together? She would stay here, obviously, but we can take her for walks together and play with her like a little family…” Kibum was silent and Jonghyun hurriedly exclaimed, “Only if you want to of course! I mean…she already likes you a lot!”

Kibum gently placed Roo back on the bed and stood up, walking over to Jonghyun determinedly before abruptly wrapping the older man in a tight hug. “Of course I want to, you idiot. This is the best surprise I’ve ever gotten.” He pulled away slightly to instead kiss Jonghyun deeply. “I’ve always wanted a dog, but my parents are never home so y’know… it’s a little hard. You’re amazing.”

“To be honest, I would have penned you as a cat person.” spoke Jonghyun with a fond smile, gently tracing his thumb over Kibum’s cheekbone.

Pretending to gag, Kibum shook his head. “As if. I’m dating you for a reason, aren’t I?”

Jonghyun pulled Kibum closer for another kiss, humming against the other boy’s mouth. “Touché. Rude, but touché. Should we feed Roo and then maybe take her for a walk? I think she’s old enough...”

“Okay!” Kibum cheered, pulling away from Jonghyun to instead lift Roo into his arms. “Do you have a leash for her already?”

“Eager are we? And yeah, it’s in the lounge room I think…We’ll give her something to eat first though. How much are puppies meant to have?”

Kibum laughed and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “I don’t know. Maybe just ask Seodam or look it up on the internet…”

Laughing, Jonghyun felt himself relieved to know that Kibum was just as new to all this as he was. “Okay, okay…Bring your school bag and we’ll head towards your house.”

“Alright, be right back!”

Moments later, Roo was fed (thanks to Seodam’s help), her leash was attached, and Kibum and Jonghyun were out of the house, making their way towards the end of Jonghyun’s street. Their hands twined together with Roo’s lead squished between them, and they walked in a comfortable silence until reaching the main road. “Did you know Taemin likes Minho?” questioned Kibum out of the blue, knowing quite well the answer was no.

“Well I do now…But Minho doesn’t swing that way, right?”

Kibum looked in thought momentarily. “That’s what I was thinking too but…I don’t want poor Taemin suffering, y’know? So we gotta stay hopeful for now.”

Jonghyun nodded. “We’ll be the best wingmen ever.”

Roo was slugging along slowly, at times either stopping completely in the middle of the footpath or racing ahead so that Jonghyun and Kibum were forced to run with her.

“We should ask each other questions or something.” spoke Kibum suddenly, once Roo had calmed down a bit and was trotting along at an even pace. “I feel like I don’t know enough about you yet.”

“True…We dived into this relationship kind of fast, didn’t we?”

Nodding, Kibum gave Jonghyun’s hand a firm squeeze. “But I don’t regret it. I just want to learn more about you, so I’ll go first. What’s your…worst fear?”

“Worst fear? If it’s one of those cliché truth or dare questions then I’d say something like losing my voice or people judging me for being myself but honestly…I’m more afraid of losing you and my family.” Jonghyun responded, cheeks flushing pink against the cool breeze.

Kibum nudged against him fondly. “Aren’t you a sap?”

And then Roo halted suddenly in her tracks, sitting down on the pavement and refusing to move another leg. Jonghyun sighed wearily, and gave the puppy an encouraging poke. “C’mon, Roo…We’re nearly there.” Still, she remained on the ground, looking up at Jonghyun with wide, sad puppy eyes which seemed to beg for sleep. “Do dogs seriously get tired so quickly?” Jonghyun questioned, mostly to himself, before promptly picking the puppy up and holding her like a newborn baby. “I guess I’ll have to carry her…”

“Look at these two cuties.” Kibum cooed, pulling his phone out and quickly taking a snapshot. “Geez, I love my dogs.”

Jonghyun frowned and pursed his lips. “Are you implying that I’m a dog?”

In response, Kibum simply entwined their hands once more and continued walking, mentally rolling his eyes at the fact that Jonghyun had missed the most important part of that phrase.

‘Maybe I was implying that you’re a dog…’ he thought to himself. ‘But I was also implying that I love you, idiot.’

“My go to ask a question!” Jonghyun exclaimed happily, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet yet making sure to keep Roo locked firmly in his grasp. “What’s your personal motto? Something that you always tell yourself.”

Kibum became silent in deep thought for a few moments, the sole sound of footsteps against the concrete pavement filling the empty air. “I mean…It’s not really a motto. Just kind of what I base my decisions around, I guess, but... ‘My dream isn’t to become the best. It’s to become someone who I’m not ashamed to be.’”

Instinctively, Jonghyun beamed, rubbing his thumb fondly against the back of Kibum’s hand. “I like that. That’s really nice, actually. But as a side note – you’re kind of the best, anyway.”

Good-naturedly, Kibum slapped Jonghyun’s shoulder. “Stop flirting, it’s getting you nowhere right now. Now hush, while I think of something to ask.”

“Your wish is my command, King Kibum.”

The younger of the two rolled his eyes fondly, and used his free hand to fix his wind-tousled hair. “Okay…Would you rather go into the past or the future, and why?”

“The past!” Jonghyun spoke immediately, as though it was the easiest thing he’d ever been asked. “I could go back and fix everything I did wrong in high school, I could’ve talked to you sooner, I could’ve kissed you sooner…And if I went into the future, I think I’d be scared to see something that I know I don’t want to.”

Kibum hummed in agreement. Maybe if he went into the past he’d be more careful of the string of lies he told his parents and prevent himself from being caught in positions which lead them to suspect him. And as for the future…Kibum wasn’t quite sure he wanted to see what that beheld for him. The past would definitely be a safer option. “Me too, actually. The future’s a little too wild for my liking.”

“We’re both a bunch of scaredy cats.” chuckled Jonghyun, and he could’ve sworn that Roo’s ears twitched as he said it.

“I know…But at least we can be scaredy cats together, right? Imagine dating someone who made you climb mountains on the weekends, I think I’d die.”

Jonghyun’s face dropped suddenly, and he peaked at Kibum from the corner of his eyes. “Oh…”

Mouth dropping in shock, Kibum stopped to glare at Jonghyun. “You are not a fucking mountain climber. I will dump you at this second if you are.”

His disheartened façade faltered, and Jonghyun burst out into loud laughter. “As if I’m one of those, Kibum. My legs are already getting itchy and we have literally walked like one kilometre.”

“And I’ve got a stitch.” added Kibum amusedly, resting his head on Jonghyun’s shoulder and giving Roo a gentle scratch behind the ears. Too caught up in the moment of insulting exercise and bonding over their lazy habits, Kibum and Jonghyun remained painfully unaware of the familiar white sedan which drove past in that precise moment, the driver of said car watching the two with scrutiny from his rear view mirror.

The rest of their journey to Kibum’s house passed in a warm, comforting silence, their hands not once separating until they neared the perfect, pristine structure. Kibum took Roo into his arms and kissed her lovingly on the forehead before passing her back to Jonghyun. “Hopefully you don’t die of exhaustion on the way home. Maybe I’ll buy Roo some toys or something this weekend. Are you free on Saturday?”

“Sure am.” responded Jonghyun, looking at Kibum’s house cautiously before giving Kibum a chaste peck on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon, alright? Take care, Key!”

“You too Jjong. And take good care of Roo!”

Jonghyun nodded happily, and waved to Kibum in farewell as the younger boy walked up towards his front door. His father was home it seemed, thought Kibum to himself, taking note of the white sedan parked neatly in their driveway. Luckily for Kibum he hadn’t done anything spontaneous enough to warrant a scolding as of late.

Well…So he thought.