#idk is that a tag. lawl

[giddlygoat]

[tiddlebink]

Sober Life SMP stamps!!! Free to use with credit!

@volcanocraft

[pseudowandered]

doodles i keep forgetting to post bwcause i forget i have other socials

[bastiodonz]

DON’T WANNA LIVE AS AN UNSUNG MELODY - I’D RATHER LISTEN TO THE SILENCE TELLING ME, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU, I DON’T FEAR YOU.”

[world-omelettes]

so off the mark, what’s it to you?

[almostyours]

WAITWAITWAIT HOLD UP— KAIA KILLED NARI???? LIKE SHE REALLY ACTUALLY 🔪🔪 i mean go off queen we stan but you can’t just lore dump that in the tags 😱 please expand 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ and my life will be yours

help,  i laughed when i first read this  😭  i was going to do my usual info dump for u,  but truth be told,  i’ve been working on a piece about this very topic ever since i decided to give the group a little revamp,  so i took this ask as an opportunity to not only dust this piece but also to let u actually read what happened between kaia and nari.  just be mindful of the trigger warnings,  friend!

title.    faith.

characters.    hiiragi  kaia,  narissa  kwon,  yvan  liu,  poppy  kim.

timestamp.   april  29,  2018  @  ███’s  studio.  

word  count.   3937  words.

trigger  warnings.    physical  violence.  emotional  and  physical  abuse.  swearing.  gaslighting/manipulation.  mentions  of  blood  and  bullying.  subtle  mention  of  sexual  harassment. 

“who was it?”

for a moment, silence hung heavy in the air. 

this only annoyed nari more.

“i said,” nari repeated, her voice slower and deliberate, each syllable slicing through the silence. “who was it?”

no one answered.

the studio was filled in a silence so thick it felt suffocating, a tension sharp enough to cut through anyone’s everything— forcing them to consume nari’s presence. because she was the kind of person whose words commanded gravity, pulling and forcing all focus to be on her, leaving no space for distraction or to overthink. 

nari raised an eyebrow as their backs straightened, her patience thinning— either from their silence, or the pressure gnawing at her composure.

she was about to say something, but yvan broke the silence first.  

“what are you talking about?” yvan stammered, slowly standing from their seat. they didn’t notice the way kaia visibly tensed— body rigid, eyes widening ever so slightly as she glanced at yvan from the corner of her eye. yvan, however, was too preoccupied holding nari’s cold gaze, unable to look away.

a small, awkward smile tugged at their lips, an expression that only deepened the unease in the room. nari didn’t say anything. instead, she reached into her pocket to pull out her phone. the deliberate movement made yvan shift uncomfortably. 

“shocking claims surface!” nari read out loud, her voice rising in a way that caused yvan to flinch. kaia, still standing by the music workstation, shifted awkwardly, her posture stiffening as if the words themselves had struck her. 

oh no.

slowly, she turned her head, her gaze finding yvan, an unspoken question lingering in the brown of her eyes.

yvan didn’t meet her eyes. they couldn’t, because how could they? they’d done the one thing she had asked them not to do.

i will handle this, she had said, gently applying pressure where the pain was the worst on yvan’s leg. they only sobbed. don’t do anything you will regret. i will do something about her.

nari continued, “allegations and photos accuse rising star nari kwon—” she paused, jaw tightening as if the words had lodged themselves in her throat. her grip on the phone visibly hardened, knuckles pale against the sleek device. slowly, her eyes lifted from the screen to meet her members. she enunciated the rest of the title slowly, “of abusive behavior.”

pure silence. 

kaia’s heart sank into her stomach as nari tossed the phone in yvan’s direction. the sharp, metallic clatter of the device hitting the floor, paired with yvan’s startled yelp, sliced through kaia like a knife. 

“you don’t know what i’m talking about?” nari repeated, her tone teetering between a dare and feigned innocence. it carried something akin to a sing-song quality, almost mocking in its sweetness— like she was the kindest leader imaginable, someone who would never ever hurt her members in any way, someone they could trust. 

kaia takes a quick look back at yvan, and this time they meet her eyes.

but they couldn’t say a word, couldn’t even convey anything with their shared look, as nari’s sharp yell sliced through the room, demanding their attention once more.

“i’m done—” she yelled, making them both flinch and look back at her. her voice was loud, then it went a bit quieter but still firm. “—repeating myself. who was it?!”

“nari, calm down,” kaia said, voice steady but cautious, breaking her silence for the first time since the leader’s arrival. her heart pounded in her throat as she watched her start walking into the room, allowing the door to close shut behind her. “we can talk once you’re—” kaia hesitated, her words cut short by the sharp intensity of nari’s presence before her.

“give me a damn break.” nari spat, cutting off kaia’s calm tone without hesitation. she closed the distance between them in a heartbeat, voice dropping to an almost conspiratorial whisper— sharp, intimate, and inescapable. 

“i want one of you to open your mouth and tell me the truth.”

kaia blinked, startled, but nari didn’t falter. 

“do you want to sit down and read the article with me?” nari pressed, her voice almost razor-sharp, biting into the silence. “look at the stupid pictures proving nothing?” she gritted her teeth, frustration etched into every syllable, and let out a sharp tsk. 

“trying to destroy our reputation with fabricated lies? before debuting?”

kaia’s breath hitched, and her focus zeroed on a single phrase: fabricated lies. 

she didn’t need to read the article to know its contents. she was certain, beyond a shadow of doubt, that absolutely nothing about it was fabricated. every word, every damning accusation she knew was there— there was no doubt that they were all rooted in truth. 

because ever since kaia had moved to south korea to train alongside nari, she’d seen the truth beneath her polished facade. nari’s demeanor, oh-so sweet and charming to the world, was anything but kind behind closed doors. under the saccharine smile lay a streak of cruelty reserved for those closest to her— for those she deemed weak, useless, and pathetic. 

kaia, however, had long since stopped being fooled by that smile, by her selective respect. she was the one person nari could never deceive. 

she had some nerve lying to her face like that. 

“but why do you think it’s any of us?” kaia’s breath hitched when yvan’s voice broke the silence, drawing nari’s hardened gaze past her to where yvan stood slightly behind. 

nari’s glare made yvan visibly tense, and they stuttered, “w-what about the back up dancers? the stylists? or p-poppy. poppy is also part of us…”

guilt bites at yvan. nari scoffed. 

“that lapdog?” she sneered, sending yvan into a panicked silence while kaia’s jaw tightened. 

“she can’t even think on her own without those meds of hers. hell, she can’t even defend herself!” nari taunted, her voice lilting with a mockery, almost melodic in its cruelty. she started moving toward yvan with deliberate steps, her hands clasped behind her back in a feigned innocence. yvan tried to hold their ground, but their unease was unmistakable— their body shrinking under the weight of nari’s cold gaze. 

kaia blinks. something about nari’s awareness of poppy’s vulnerabilities sparked a warning deep in her mind—- a warning that wasn’t really new, really. 

“she’s also not stupid,” nari added, stopping inches from yvan, who refused to meet her gaze. “and neither is kaia.”

yvan said nothing. 

nari shoved them— hard. 

they stumbled back. 

“it was you, right?”

“i don’t know what—”

“it was you,” nari repeated with a laugh, pushing them again. this time, they hit the ground with a thud. 

kaia’s instinct screamed at her to intervene, but panic, dread, and worry rooted her in place. 

“nari, nari!” yvan scrambled to stand, desperation evident in their voice. tears welled in their eyes as they tried to speak, “it wasn’t—”

“don’t—” nari snapped, and yvan yelped in pain as nari delivered a sharp kick to their side, forcing them back to the ground. kaia just stood there, frozen, watching as nari delivered yet another ruthless kick, her voice venomous as she hissed. “—even bother.” 

suddenly, nari’s tone shifted, adopting the voice of reason, of a calm and rational leader. 

her voice dripped with a chilling hypocrisy as she said, “making excuses, bringing up someone who isn’t even here, lying right to my face— aren’t you ashamed of yourself?”

kaia could barely stand to listen. 

the room fell silent for a moment, broken only by yvan’s soft sobs. 

“what? should we throw a pity party for you?” nari asked, her shoe uncomfortably close to yvan’s vision. they flinched, fearing she would aim for their face next. 

“we are in middle of debuting, you imbecile!” she snapped, attempting to kick their face. yvan managed to block it with their arms, trembling as nari ranted. “our reputation is at stake because of the stupidity you just had someone post—”

“i’m sorry!” they cried out, shielding their head.

“stop talking—” her voice was sharp, and before anyone could react, she landed a kick square on yvan’s nose. they cried out, clutching their face as she raised her leg for another strike. “—back. who do you think—”

kaia pushed her. 

of course, that was something nari didn’t see coming. 

the impact sent her stumbling back into the music panel, a loud crash echoing through the studio as some equipment tumbled to the floor. she caught herself against the table, her gaze, confused yet seething, snapping to kaia’s direction, whose hands were still trembling from the push. 

“what the hell was that?” nari’s voice cut through the silence, sharp and disbelieving. 

kaia’s ears rang—panic, worry, anger, fear… all jumbled together. she couldn’t pinpoint which emotion had driven her to act, only that she had. 

because kaia was good. kaia was nice. kaia was calm. 

kaia was the one who never fought back. 

the air was suffocating as nari straightened, her gaze piercing through kaia’s silence. her voice dripped with disdain. “well, maybe you are stupid,” she spat, her eyes narrowing. “what’s your problem?”

kaia blinked, stunned. her lips twitched as if on the verge of laughing at the absurdity of the question. “what’s my problem?” her voice cracked, disbelief laced in every word. 

the door clicked open. 

from the corner of their eyes, they watched poppy step in, her eyes widening as they took in the scene before her once she had pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. slowly, the brunette closed the door behind her, gaze sweeping over the fallen equipment, kaia’s tense figure, and yvan, crumpled on the floor. she said nothing, but the unspoken question hung heavily in the air: what’s happening?

yvan let out a weak, desperate whimper, their breath hitching as the blood rapidly poured from their nose, making it harder to breath. 

poppy rushed to their side, crouching down beside them and trying to help them into a sitting position while wiping the blood from their face with careful, but trembling fingers. her voice was soft, laced with both concern and rising panic. “what happened to you?” 

her touch seemed delicate, and her tone was anxious, but it cracked something deep within kaia’s senses. 

because nari’s presence lingered like a storm, her silent fury simmering in the background, casting a heavy, oppressive silence that loomed over everything and everyone in the room. poppy’s calm gentleness with yvan, in contrast, felt almost out of place. yet, it was the only thing that seemed to reach yvan in that moment. 

kaia takes in a deep breath.

“you’ve been doing this for years,” kaia said, voice steady, but lacking the sweetness she usually carries with her. “and not just to us.”

nari blinked, caught off guard. 

poppy looked up from where she was holding yvan up, no longer guiding them to cough out the blood as her hands completely froze in place. 

“and now you’re surprised someone finally had enough of your bullshit?” her voice wavered, sharp with an anger that burned in her chest. 

her hands trembled, tears pooling in her eyes. not from sadness, but rage. 

pure, unfiltered rage. 

“bullshit?” nari’s lips curled into a bitter smile, scoffing once she’d gotten past the shock of kaia’s words. “you think acting like a leader is bullshit? you think caring about the crap you three mess up is bullshit?” she motioned to her members with a wave of her hand. “you’d all be nothing without me. nothing. if i hadn’t fixed your mistakes—”

“you haven’t done anything,” kaia snapped, voice rising as tears spilled over. “you’ve never done anything but be a bitch—”

before kaia could react, nari pushed her forcefully. kaia stumbled, her balance faltering as the room seemed to spin and tilt around her. 

“i have,” nari said, voice louder to bear her in volume, “and for nothing, it seems. skin hardens over time, my ass,” she laughs bitterly, “because all of you,” she looks back at the other two, and although yvan hid their face in poppy’s shoulder, poppy held her stare, unflinching. 

her tone shifted, sweet yet venomous, dripping with mockery, loud enough for her words to echo in their minds. “you are still as useless as when we were trainees. you are nothing.” 

her gaze snapped back to kaia, locking on with unrelenting intensity. this time, her voice softened to a near whisper, but her words carried an icy weight that sliced deep. 

“and you?” nari’s lips curled into a cruel, mocking smirk. “you’re just a fool playing house everywhere you go. and for what? nothing, because everything you do never happens or lasts. you’re nothing but a joke.”

nari gave kaia a quick look over, a flicker of disdain that taunted her to speak, to retaliate. that glance burned through kaia, igniting something deep within— a sharp pang of disbelief slicing through the anger already churning in her chest. for a moment, she couldn’t speak— couldn’t even think.

and then it hit.

anger surged through her veins, hotter and sharper than she thought possible. her hands clenched into fists at her sides, nails digging into her palms as she trembled with the effort of holding herself back. she blinked hard, her vision blurring as more tears threatened to escape— not from sadness, but from the sheer intensity of her rage. 

because how dare she?

everything kaia had done— personally and professionally— every sleepless night, every sacrifice, every time she had put herself second to make sure this dream stayed alive. she endured ridicule, bruises, and endless doubts, yet she pushed forward because she believed in herself and her members. she believed in their potential, in the spark each of them carried that could ignite something extraordinary if only they worked together. 

kaia had faith— unshakable, relentless faith— that this group could be more than just another fleeting attempt at success. she wasn’t the leader, just a mere sub rapper and lead dancer, but she still tried to hold them together, even when they doubted, even when they wanted to give up. she smiled through her own pain, lifting yvan when they crumbled under pressure and reassuring poppy when her fear clouded her resolve. 

even nari, with her biting words and abusive control, had received kaia’s support. not because she deserved it, but because kaia knew that for their dream to happen, she had to keep the peace, and at the end of the day, nari had a dream just like she did. she endured nari’s cutting remarks, the moments that left her crying in private, because she thought if they could just get through it, they could debut as the group she believed they were meant to be. 

but now? now, it was clear. no matter how much kaia gave, no matter how much she sacrificed, no matter how much they endured her abuse, nari didn’t care. she would keep holding them back, sabotaging any chance they had to shine, all for her own selfish gain. 

there was no place for yvan, poppy or kaia to shine. not under nari’s rule— only shadow and silence. 

nari turned away, simper lingering as kaia stood motionless, trapped in the suffocating silence. “well, it doesn’t matter anymore. vivi said they’ll handle the article,” she said lazily, her tone as casual as if she was discussing the weather. she strolled over to the sound panel, gripping the mouse and clicking idly through the screen with disinterest. 

the repetitive click echoed through the studio, each sound amplifying their emptiness. poppy glanced back at kaia, her expression a mix of both curiosity and concern. kaia’s eyes remained fixed on nari’s back, her face unreadable. 

poppy gulped. she couldn’t help but wonder what was going on inside kaia’s head. she knew all too well about kaia’s battles with self-doubt, her past thick with unfair circumstances and bitter luck. it made poppy worry even more about what this moment might mean for kaia— for all of them. 

“she asked me to take all of you to the meeting room to, y’know, talk about this,” nari said, her voice light and casual but carrying an edge of unease. poppy looked back at nari, who remained turned away, focused on the screen as the rhythmic clicking continued, most likely just saving the progress of whatever kaia and yvan had been working on, acting as if she was completely unfazed by the tension in the room. 

“so, let’s go and—”

kaia didn’t let her finish. 

in a blur of movement, her hand shot out, grabbing the back of nari’s head and slamming her face into the music panel with a sickening crack. 

both poppy and yvan gasped loudly at the scene. yvan scrambled backward, bumping hard into poppy’s shoulder, who instinctively moved with them, eyes wide with shock. 

but their collective gasp was nothing compared to nari’s scream, raw and piercing— at least, until it was muffled by the panel as kaia slammed her down again. and again. and again. 

the sound of nari’s head hitting the panel seemed to reverberate in the studio, freezing both poppy and yvan in stunned silence.

nari’s hands flailed, desperate, clawing for anything to grab onto— anything to stop the assault or defend herself. she managed a weak, choked cry for help, but kaia was relentless, her movements sharp, calculated, and quick. 

the panel rattled with each impact, a brutal rhythm of anger. 

by the time nari’s screams faded into weak, incoherent sounds, her world started to blur and fade to white. her vision started swimming, and every taken breath felt heavier, each heartbeat distant and sluggish, until all that remained was a faint, fading echo of her reality.

that’s when kaia paused her actions, yanking nari’s head back with a tight grip on her hair. she glanced at the blood smeared across the panel, messy and vivid, before tossing nari to the ground like a discarded ragdoll. a weak, pitiful whine escaped the woman kaia had just brutalized, barely audible over the heavy silence that followed. 

yvan cried out when nari’s body crumpled limply in front of them, retreating further into poppy, who instinctively wrapped their arms around them. poppy’s eyes were wide, her expression a mix of both shock and horror, yet it wasn’t the blood or nari’s broken form that rendered her speechless. 

it was kaia— tha blank stare in her eyes, devoid of any warmth or hesitation, that froze her in place. 

because kaia was good. kaia was nice. kaia was calm. 

kaia had faith. 

but kaia didn’t even glance at them. her gaze remained locked on the crumpled figure before her, a fragile and broken thing now barely clinging to any lasting strength. nari struggled, her body betraying her attempts to rise, only to collapse back onto the cold ground. her face— swollen and grotesque, a canvas smeared with blood and bruises— was unrecognizable. she wasn’t narissa kwon anymore. 

she was nothing. 

and in that nothingness, kaia saw a reflection of everything nari had become: a hollow, festering voice that thrived on greed, abuse and ridicule. it wasn’t just emptiness; it was a consuming force that had sabotaged their efforts, stifled their dreams, and mocked every sacrifice made along the way. it was the same nothingness that threatened to poison their potential, to strip away everything they had worked for until it all meant nothing. 

the sight sent a cold shiver through kaia— not from guilt, but from the quiet, unshakable certainty that she could no longer allow nari to hold them back. 

“k-kaia…” nari’s voice came weak and trembling, a glimpse of fear cracking through her voice. this time, she managed to push herself off the ground just the slightest, her movements slow and faltering as she tried to sit upright. 

kaia answered with a kick to her face, sending her back down with a thud. then, without a second thought, kaia dropped to her knees, fists slamming into nari’s bloodied face in a frenzied, relentless surge of fury. 

yvan covered their bloodied mouth, eyes wide with shock and fear, while poppy sat frozen, her entire body trembling, unable to look away. the sound of each punch reverberated through the silent studio, but poppy could only watch, her heart pounding against her ribcage, her mind unable to comprehend what was happening before her. 

each punch landed with a visceral satisfaction, fire coursing through kaia’s veins with every strike. each blow was a reckoning, a release of years spent enduring nari’s cruel control. for all those times kaia had been mocked and humiliated, her dreams weaponized against her because nari saw her as nothing more than a toy to play with. 

for all those countless nights kaia had held yvan as they cried, nari’s cutting words and manipulations tearing away at their confidence, leaving them dimmed when their light had once shined the brightest. 

for all those times kaia had seen nari’s hands linger a little bit too long on poppy’s skin, her words dripping with twisted intent, turning a strong-willed woman into someone trapped in fear, reduced to a fragile doll— played with and discarded without care, waiting for the day nari would repeat the cycle. 

and as kaia’s fists continued to fall, the anger deepened— not just for herself, but for the potential nari had trampled underfoot, the possibilities she had stifled with her poison. nari had taken so much, stolen so much, dragging them all into a shadow where they would be kept away. kaia’s chest heaved with every strike, the weight of years of frustration and helplessness lifting, punch by punch. she wanted her gone— they needed her gone. everything would be better once nari was out of their lives, once the weight of her abuse and manipulation no longer held them down. 

this was the first step toward breaking free— toward a future where they could finally find peace. 

she had faith that this was the only way.

poppy cried out her name, but kaia didn’t hear it. not the first time. not the second. not the third.

but the fourth time, poppy’s cry broke the trance, making her gasp. 

slim arms successfully wrapped around her ribcage, pulling her away from the broken, bloodied figure beneath her. 

poppy’s warmth behind her felt like home, grounding kaia back to reality. and for a moment, she had been lost—lost in the chaos of her own rage, consumed by the weight of everything she had endured and fought against. 

but now, clarity starts to seep through her senses, piece by piece. 

she stared at nari, lifeless and unrecognizable, her body crumpled on the bloodied ground. this wasn’t someone kaia could recognize anymore— this was a hollow, broken thing. 

the person who had once towered over them, wielding cruelty, mockery and control, was now a hollow, broken figure. the image of nari had become something foreign, a reflection of the void kaia had tried to hold together for far too long. 

because kaia was good. kaia was nice. kaia was calm. 

kaia had faith in them. 

poppy’s jagged breaths pressed against her ears as she held onto kaia tightly, but kaia didn’t respond, didn’t move. her bloodied and bruised knuckles, once delicate and soft, now felt foreign— scarred by the weight of her own rage. yvan’s cries echoed through the silence, but kaia remained still, staring down at the nothingness before her. 

kaia takes a slow, steady breath. 

“bring vivi.” she said quietly, words barely above a whisper but heavy with the weight of everything that was about to change. 

[dilutedbeanibeans]

idk how 2 draw naked ppl

[johnlock4everx3]

Sherlock & Co doodles because i finally started listening :3

Im on likeee episode 7 i just finished 6. Im supposed to be cleaning but i had a Vision (which isnt here because i gave up on the pose. i hate anatomy. it will be real one day)

A ton of sherlock bc. I dont like most of the john ones i did💔dont worry he will get love also

[leporellian]

kids at the opera are great. shoutout to the 2 behind me at don giovanni today who were super invested (they were laughing at all the bits and were like “OMG ITS THE ZOMBIEEE!” when the statue showed up even though their mom was correcting them that it was a ghost statue) but also visibly amused the orchestra with their antics. i knowwww people complain about kids making comments or just being kids at the opera but for me (as long as they’re actually watching the opera) they will always increase the vibe of the show So Much

[trans-formers-n-stuff]

do you think optimus looks in the mirror and fails to recognize himself sometimes. i do

[keiitopop]

comfort oc because i'm needing it right now. this is tomoko! based on the first competitive pokemon i made back in 2015 in an online pokemon game. back then, weavile wasn't a thing. we only had up to gen 3. when they added gen 4 and 5 i tried evolving tomoko but alas! i forgot the item and she hit level 100! so she's a baby forever

[giddlygoat]

i have SO many ducks LAWL

my mind is basically a big cartoon duck / silly robot melting pot rn and i always forget to post things as i finish them so i’m putting them all together. we got some donald, high roller, scrooge, my shameless ducktales oc [thinking of naming him Oliver Branch teehee] and a silly scrawl featuring chip inspired by a giggle shared with some chums ohohoho

[fivemonsturzzzwowz]

five minute break to remember weather exists

[vomcat]

rabbit marci part 2

[jjcocker]

ok hi heres The but. Teens

[yaoicrack]

goes insane and draws a self insert autism vent comic at 2am