#idk im not v good at french

[silvcrignis]

“im NOT jealous ” - from a very jealous joanna

Meme: {x}

Well... SHIT. The party had been going so GREAT too... Honestly Alaine still had no fucking idea what was going on from where she was currently flopped into Ivon's arms partially dressed & it WASN'T like he could fucking DROP his friend to EXPLAIN!

Flashback to 2 minutes ago: Alaine Claudine Frollo. Not exactly a girl to back down from the challenge of a kegger (much like her father, she was sure he would be so PROUD) & her black painted lips had been LOCKED to that nozzle with the cheers of "Chug chug chug chug chug!" in the air as she disregarded her gag reflex until that bitch was EMPTY with of course made the rowdy crowd around her EXPLODE into cheers, especially after she LOUDLY declared herself "Queen of the Succ, motherfuckers!"

Of course that meant she was DRUNK as shit when jumping off the pool table & would have probably totally wiped out if Ivon hadn't stepped in to CATCH her when he did, it was a REFLEX to protect his friends, really.

"Jo, don't be like that! What was I SUPPOSED to do, let her crack her skull on the floor?!" he protested, trying to not sound as PANICKED as he currently felt. It also did not help the situation that he thought Alaine was very pretty, he was resisting the blush spreading on his face as hard as possible & he was MILDLY intimidated by her DAD.

"... PFFFFT could you imagine if I died by way of YEETING myself? That does fit my family's mentality of go hard or go home, brev! Annnyyyywayyyy if you're that super duper jealous you're gonna kill the vibes... Get drunker or some shit, you're starting to bum me out," Alaine slurred into Ivon's neck, utterly too wasted to say anything that WOULD help her homie out, which caused the blonde to SIGH in exasperation before Alaine dropped the worst joke she possible could.

"Bro if ANYTHING Ivon should be the one getting sus like... Your country & my country were actually on the same side of the second world war... & Von's pretty BLONDE over there... His green eyes could EASILY be a LIE."

"Alaine!" Ivon gasped but despite his shocked tone he could help laughing too.

[sukiipjs]

❧ ONLY YOU

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

↳ chris sturniolo x fem reader

↳ words - 1629

↳ summary - chris sees you with another guy at a party, he has to remind you that your his. only his. (this is freaky)

↳ contains - friends with benifits, smut, lowkey toxic 💀, rough sex, oral, gagging, hair pulling, swearing, spanking, mascohism, drinking, praise, degrading, pet names (baby), idk

↳ song - lights down low by maejor

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

°:. *₊ ° . ☆

me and chris have a.. complicated relationship. he’s really hot, like really, but honestly he’s such an asshole. everything he does drives me up a fucking wall. all we do is fuck, have been for a while and its great but nothing more, and even though we are nothing more, everytime he sees me with another guy or thinks i’m with another guy, he gets pissed. but when he’s with another girl who cares? that hypocrite. every time i call him out he rolls his eyes and uses his famous line, ‘they don’t fuck me as good as you baby’

anyways. i’m getting ready for this party, i’ve been trying to ignore and forget chris, so why not go to some dumb partys? i get on a tight mini dress, it’s black and silky with thin straps, deep v neck and a cute bow on the back to match my new nails i got a few days ago, black french tips with some rhinestones. black eyeshadow and mascara, some of my favorite lipgloss, smells like strawberry and has glitter in it, almost half out of it already. i leave my hair down and i put on my black heels and finally i grab my small black purse with my lipgloss, my phone, and a condom that will hopefully be used!

i make my way to the party and when i walk into it, i already regret it. i go straight to where all the drinks are and pour some. i lean on the counter staying by the table of drinks and trying not to look too bored.

i look around seeing if anyone i know is here so i can actually talk to someone. as im looking and drinking some random dude comes up beside me, leaning on the counter next to me with a drink in his hand too. “hey” he nudges my shoulder a little, “uh hey?” he continues to talk to me and annoying me, eventually he says i’m ‘boring’ and goes to some other girl.

over time a maybe two other guys come up to me, annoying but one i’m still talking with, he’s actually kinda interesting, and cute. we talk a lot and laugh but then i feel two arms wrap around my waist, making me almost spill my drink. “the fuck?” i turn my head to see who and it’s chris, i see his eyes stare at the guy i’m talking to as he holds me. i roll my eyes as he speaks to the guy, what is wrong with him. “yeah i’m her boyfriend, so.” wait… im his WHAT? the guy looks a little uncomfortable then looks at me before walking off.

i back off from his arms and face toward him, “what the fuck is wrong with you? ‘i’m her boyfriend’ since when?” he laughs a little then takes a sip of his drink, “okay maybe i’m not but i don’t want him talking to you,” i roll my eyes and scoff, “why? every single time you see me with a guy, you make him leave but when your with a girl it’s all fine? we’re fucking! that’s all, so just shut up. i haven’t called you in a while for a reason,”

i see his eyes narrow as he sets his drink down and grabs my arm, “shut up and come with me,” i try to move my arm away from his grip but he pulls me toward some room, i set down my drink as we walk.

he pulls me into a bathroom and shuts the door, pushing me against the door after, “the fuck is wrong with you,” he holds me onto the door, staring at my eyes, “me? the fuck is wrong with you. you’re such an asshole!” one of his hands go to the back of my head, he pulls my hair making my head lean up to look at him better. he moves his head closer to mine, lips inches apart.

“i don’t remember you saying that shit when i was fucking you all those time, when you begged me to come over? yeah? begging me to keep going, fucking slut.” he spits back, “god chris. fuck off!” i try to put my arms on his chest to push him away, “just leave me alone.” i hear him laugh a little as he pushes down on my head, trying to get me on my knees. “just get on those knees and be fucking good? yeah?”

he manages to get me down, me kneeling in front of him as he still grips on my hair and the other to his pants as he pulls down his pants and boxers, my hands trying to push him away on his thighs, “all you do is talk, talk, talk, maybe you should put that mouth to good use,”

his dick springs out and hits my face as he pulls my head closer and the other hand holding his dick, guiding it on my lips as i seal them shut, or trying to. “cmon baby, open up,”

he pushes his dick more and more onto my lips, and finally i open my mouth and he pushes it inside, the tip hitting the back of my throat. “oh fuck baby,” he put his other hand on my head, both holding me down, pushing his dick all the way in. my hands on his legs trying to push away as i start gagging, spit dripping out of my mouth.

he bucks his hips into me more as i try to push myself away but i just hit my head on the door. tears start forming in my eyes as i try to catch my breath, but can’t with my mouth full. he finally pulls out my mouth, stroking his dick and finishing over my face as i close my eyes, panting. “aww, so pretty” he laughs as he kneels down a little, giving my cheek small pats then he grabs my jaw, making my head turn to him. “get up baby, you got this,”

i slowly get myself standing, still panting as he moves me to the counter of the sink and takes off my dress, a huge mirror on the wall. he’s behind me as he grabs my hair, pulling my head up, “look at yourself,” he smacks my ass with his other hand, i jump a little, opening my eyes as i see myself, “look at that slut,” my mascara and tears run down my cheeks, my hair frizzy and messed up, and his come across my face. i lift up my arm to wipe off some of the mess as he laughs, “mm, aren’t you so pretty?”

his hand moves to the front of me, reaching for my clit as he starts to circle it with his finger, my arms on the counter as my head drops and i start to whimper, “fuck! chris…” he moves faster as his length pokes against me. his mouth moving to my neck as he starts kissing and marking my neck.

he lifts his head to my ear as he whispers, “cmon, you’re mine right? only mine?” i try to nod my head as i moan, his breath on my neck. “no, say it. i need to hear it baby,” he moves my hair out of the way of my neck, to the other side, “i’m.. fuck.. i’m yours chris. only yours. only you, please..”

i feel his smirk grow on my neck as he goes back to kissing me, “good girl” my knees buckle as i start to feel even weaker, about to finish but suddenly he stops and i go back to panting and catching my breath as my moans stop.

“chris-“ he cuts me off, “oh don’t worry baby,” he quickly pushes his dick inside me, making my breath cut off, “fuck!” he pulls on my waist, making my elbows lay on the counter and making my back arch even more than it was.

one hand on my waist, guiding his deep thrusts and one on my head, pulling my hair again, making my head lean up, “watch me fuck you before i stop.” i force my eyes to open as i see him behind me thrusting, i mindlessly moan and whine as he fucks me good, forcing my eyes to not close, and staring at the mirror.

“chrisssss…” i moan as i start getting close again, his thrusts become deeper and faster, knowing that i’m close. “cmon baby, let it go” i can’t help but drop my head again, shutting my eyes as i finish over his dick. he keeps thrusting until he comes too, “oh fuck.”

he pulls out and gives me another smack on my ass, “such a good girl baby,” he speaks as he’s talking to a dog. i stand a bit straighter, my legs weak and shaking as i pant more and more, my eyes closing to rest. his hands come up to my shoulders, giving me a small massage.

“your mine right?” i nod as i try to open my mouth to speak but it takes a minute, “y-yes.. only you chris,” i pant. he takes his hand off me and starts getting clothed and putting my panties in his pocket as i’m still leaning on the counter still.

“cmon baby, i’ll help if you need,” i nod and he grabs my dress, nodding at me to put my arms up, i do and he slides it over me. “sit down,” again, i do. i sit on the edge of the bathtub as he grabs a random towel, wetting it and wiping off my face. “there you go,” he smiles throwing the towel elsewhere and leaning down to kiss me, “such a pretty girl,”

☆ °:. *₊ ° . °

[princesssmars]

i'd love just about anyone, so why was it you?

a victoria neuman x reader

your talent for singing is finally starting to take you places in the city of lights. so why did it have to introduce you to a woman who might ruin it all?

wc : 10.248

contains : fxf relationship. readers hair and skin aren't described. fluff. angst.nsfw including sex and language. the french. barely proof-read.

a/n : i cant believe there are no fics for this fine ass woman yet but i am nothing but a pioneer idk. in my daydreams this was like mafia au victoria but i literally never write or dream of those so i opted out lmao. go watch gen v. everyone always talks about how good the cover is but nonante-cinq by angele is a beautiful album so i recommend listening to that for french vibes. enjoy <3

it was the most stereotypical and overplayed song ever, but damn did you love la vie en rose.

just the concept of the song was romantic to you. to live every day like it would be magnificent, like you could know a day would be your last and look back at it and not regret a single thing. it meant looking at the world with a positivity that these days was mostly faked or artificial.

after the life you've lived, the things you've seen firsthand, you need that positive light in your life more than anything else. especially right now, as your manager is hounding you over the phone about your next gig.

now you loved your manager, nancy, you really did. she took you in and was honest when no one else would be, stood by you when no one else wanted to give you a real chance. but sometimes it felt like she didn't really believe in you. obviously, she believed you had talent, or else she would have 'left you in the dust for the rats to pick apart,' in her own words. it was almost like she couldn't fathom that what you had was real, like you didn't truly deserve all the things that were coming to you.

but as long as you were paying her, she didn't bother to speak up on it.

you were listening to her drone on and on into the speaker from your phone, holding the object up to your ear with one hand as you hold a menu to order something from the cafe waitress who's waiting beside you.

"ill have an uhhhh... le marie antoinette, and a coffee with sugar and cream please," you hand the menu to the waitress after she writes down your order, heading back into the cafe with a smile. this cafe was one of your favorites, nestled below an apartment building in one of the inner city arrondissements so you could sit outside beneath an umbrella and admire the city before you. "nancy, i don't see why i can't just...politely turn it down? it sounds like it's a glorified pin-up girl gig, le bellevilloise is offering for me to sing there exclusively for three months-"

"no, that's what im trying to tell you if you'd let me finish." you can hear nancy's telltale sigh through the phone. she had a short temper when she was stressed, something you sadly had in common, and you could hear her clicking a pen through the receiver. "this is an international gala slash fundraiser, attended by the one percent of the one percent. billionaires, senators, diplomats, everything. the event organizer asked for you specifically, so turning it down is a bad look. aka, you're doing it. go out and get a pretty dress. ill send you more details later."

the phone shut off and you let out a huff of air, crossing your right leg over your left beneath the table. once you have your meal and bite into your pastry you can't help but close your eyes at how good it tastes; the combination of the crunch of the macarons, the near-overwhelming sweetness of the cream, and the savory juice that leaks from the raspberries never gets old.

you don't know how you feel about this whole gala thing. sure its a great way to make connections and earn a fat stack of cash that will probably last you few weeks, but you've learned before that the people that you most admire, celebrities, politicians, even superheroes, can't be trusted. and being in a room full of them to perform wasn't at the top of your christmas wish list.

but like everyone else in the world, you were finding money hard to pass up on. just by the lowball nancy told you, you'd be able to comfortably pay the next month's rent and fix up your electric scooter, maybe even enough to save up for that beautiful flat you saw online with the grand windows and nice floor plan.

it'd only be a few hours of singing and kissing up to a bunch of snobs and you'd be done. easy peasy.

finding a dress wasn't to hard. your modeling connections from before you started to focus on singing gave you access to a few, good quality clearance pieces for your picking. you figure that the people you were performing for would prefer something classy and elegant, so you picked out a sleeveless black dress with black opera gloves, accessorized by a diamond necklace and earrings. one of your stylist friends, alex, who you asked to help do up your hair told you 'you're definitely gonna shag a rich man looking like this, just ask them if they have any friends for me!' and after a quick 'please don't wish that upon me' and a spritz of perfume you were ready.

the hours before you got on stage were nothing short of both nerve-racking but exhilarating. you rode in a standard taxi, your slight jitters noticed by the slightly balding man in the front. he eyes you pretty oddly when you got in the car before using you if you were a model, telling you that his daughter would like an autograph if you were. you felt slightly flustered when you had to tell him you weren't, but gave him some tips to tell his daughter if she wanted to pursue it. after around twenty minutes of driving through the city the car stops and you're escorted by a crew member into a grand building, those types you pass by and dream of getting the chance just to step into.

after that its a rush of meeting the event planner who gives you another run down of the evening and then meeting with the band members, a nice group of jazz players who you had heard about on the news for their blends of old and new methods of performing music. they played you a piece on their instruments in their dressing room, and it felt like hanging out with old friends listening to tunes as one twirled you around and the others laughed and the air felt warm and fuzzy.

later its time for your set, where you'll sing as the guests come in and take occasional breaks to save your breath and let whoever is hosting this talk. so you get up on your mini stage, make sure you look alright and you're in tune with the band, and then you do what you do best.

you've never felt better than how you do while you sing. every time you do so you tell a story, tales of success and tragedy and love and heartache. while you sing your favorite thing to do is to admire the crowd. when you were younger it gave you horrible stage fright, but as you grew up and saw just how much people loved your voice it made you confident, if not the tiniest bit narcissistic.

as you look out at the guests of tonight you see what's expected. important and powerful men donned in suits, their wives standing on their arms in glamourous gowns, you swear that you even see some fairly famous celebs in the mix, and they were all listening intently to you and your voice.

and that's when you saw her. near the back of the room with a glass of red wine in her hand, dark hair flowing over her shoulders, and darker eyes trained on you. in this profession you get used to people staring at you for hours on end, but something about this woman unnerves you slightly.

a short while later your set is over and after a round of applause the organizer tells you to enjoy yourselves, and that you're free to indulge in whatever food is left. after a brief touch-up in the dressing room and making sure you look presentable, you head out to get yourself something to eat. you keep getting stopped by people telling you how beautiful your performance was, how they'd love to get in contact with your agent to book you for future events, and your regular dose of creepy old guys hitting on you. but besides that things were going pretty well.

some servers were waking around with trays of champagne, but you figured since everything was complimentary you would treat yourself to something stronger. you head to the bar and order yourself a strong cocktail, and as soon as you finish your order a figure sits on the stool next to yours.

"get me a scotch on the rocks, thanks."

you glance at them from the corner of your eye and feel your heart beat faster when you see

it's the woman from before. from this close distance, you can admire her entirely, and god is she gorgeous. she looks so put together, not a hair out of place, and wearing a perfectly tailored suit that makes you guess she's some kind of wealthy businesswoman.

after not so secretly checking her out, she turns her body towards you and looks at you with a smile.

"im sure you already know, but you have an enchanting voice."

you look down bashfully, thinking the same about her. she speaks like she's so sure of what she's saying like there's no room for debate or argument.

"thank you. no matter if i know or not, it doesn't take much to make me a little nervous every time i perform."

the bartender brings over both of your drinks and she tilts hers to you.

"trust me, theres no need. you're nothing but a natural, one of the best singers i've ever heard."

"ah, now you're exaggerating. is there a reason you're complimenting me like you're being paid to do so?"

she shakes her head, setting down her glass of liquor with a clink. "not anything nefarious, if that's what you're thinking. just glad i get to talk to a beautifully talented woman."

jeez, she was laying it on thick. normally this was coming from some fifty-year-old man with greasy skin and weird teeth, but it felt nice coming from her. she was obviously gorgeous, leaving her body language open in case you wanted to decline and she would walk away in a moment's notice.

"im glad i get to talk to you too, miss?"

"victoria. its a pleasure to talk to you, miss y/n."

for around an hour or two the both of you sat at that bar, blocking out the fake laughs of investors and boisterous noises of people who got a little too friendly with the free champagne. she was so attentive to you. asking about what got you into singing and what brought you to paris by your non-native accent. you normally kept the finer details of your past a close-guarded secret, but you figured there couldn't come any harm from telling this attractive stranger a few things about yourself before never seeing her again.

"you're telling me at only sixteen years old, you flew to paris by yourself and made a living for yourself? you've got balls on you, sister."

"yeah yeah, but im nothing special. i just got tired of all the bullshit in the u.s., y'know? the greed, the cynicism, the-"

"superhero bullshit?"

you giggled while she smirked, observing your smile and how it made your eyes squinch.

"well i wouldn't put it like that but...superheros? really? its just, they make it so american, in a really really annoying way. i just couldn't deal with that being a reality. and where better than paris? it seems like voughts all but forgotten about it recently, thank god.”

"i understand. and i know we just met, but it does suit you. 'beautiful runaway finds passion, life, and love in the city of lights'. best cliche there is."

"and what a damn good cliche it is to be. although i haven't been that lucky on the love front."

her eyebrow raises and her nail traces around the rim of her glass.

"im sorry but i simply cant believe that. someone like you would have people lining up for a chance to talk to you, let alone date you."

you dryly chuckle before taking another long swig of your glass of champagne, dancing just on the edge of being intoxicated. you understood why everyone else was drinking this, it was sweet but strong.

"people have tried, of course. but sadly most of my escapades end in tragedy. very melodramatically. but enough about me, I'm guessing this isn't gonna go my way and you have someone waiting for you at home?"

"im offended you still think so low of me. but no, there was someone but it didn't work out. now its just me and my daughter."

god, she was a milf. if there was a god you prayed he would let you get lucky tonight.

"well, im sorry to hear it didnt work out."

"are you really?"

she looks at you with a smirk on her face.

"no, im not."

that was all she needed to ask you to come back with her to her hotel.

and not just any hotel, she was rich enough to be spending two weeks in the damn ritz. asking again what she did for a living didn't get you very far, the only hint you got being that it helped her change the world. ominous but whatever. it had to be legitimate if she was invited to that gala.

the cautious and common sense side of you is snuffed out for the night the moment she set her hand over the covered skin of your thigh in the car, the feeling of her hand on your lower back leading you through the pristine lobby of the hotel, that same hand helping you take off your dress and take you apart slowly over the rest of the night.

when you wake up the sun is peeking through the curtains, the softness of the sheets your laying on calling you back to sleep before you get up and look around.

you only got a few seconds to admire the room last night before victoria was on you, and now in the light of day you could truly take everything in. you find a note left by the woman, letting you know she had to leave temporarily for an important job thing and that she'd be back my lunch, inviting you to call up room service and enjoy the room intil then.

you were expecting for her to tell you to pack your shit up and go, so despite the oddness this was a nice surprise. besides, there was no way you were gonna pass up on ordering a five-star breakfast you didnt have to pay for.

after indulging in a meal brought by room service and finding ways to pass the time, you text your manager after she happily lets you know that your night was a success and that your payment should be cleared shortly. while you're in the middle of wondering if you should answer her query about the host wondering where you wandered off to last night, the sound of a door opening makes your head jerk towards the small entry area, victoria coming in through the doorway dressed in a tan suit and carrying a large black briefcase on her arm.

"ah, youre still here!,” she sets her bag on a glass table near the door and strides into the room, eyes connected with yours the whole time. you weren’t feeling nervous before, but under her gaze you wonder if maybe you should have taken that free meal along with some tiny soaps from the bathroom and headed back home.

“yeah, figured i’d stick around for whatever. besides, i had to stay and blame you for my manager thinking i got kidnapped.”

“i’ll make sure to apologize and send her an edible arrangement. besides, i hope to take up more of your time in the future.”

your eyes bulge so hard you’re sure you look like a moron. you cover it up by getting up to get yourself another cup of coffe from the tray the food came in on.

“well i should’ve guessed this was more than a one night stand when you allowed me to order up breakfast. but now i have to admit i’m slightly scared you’re actually plotting to traffick me.”

"trust me, that wouldn't be good for business. id just like to see you some more, if that would be alright with you.

was that an actual question? after the night you had and the way she’s been treating you, you didn’t see much of a choice except to say yes.

she tells you that a few hours later she has a flight back to america, but that she wouldn't mind spending the day with you if you're free. you agree to get a little bite to eat and it turns into a whirlwind day of showing her around the city you call your home. she has to wear giant sunglasses the whole time and have a mysterious security detail not too far behind, but you wouldn't change anything about it.

at the end of it all, she bids you goodbye in front of your taxi, admiring the cute outfit she bought for you so you wouldn't have to go home in your dress from the night prior, promising that she'll keep in touch with you once she gets settled in back a new york, jokingly telling you she'll send you a postcard. as you sit in the back of the taxi, your heart inflates a little as you take in the events of the last day. you never liked to mix business with pleasure in this way, partly because most of those business people were gross perverts and also that it could damage your career beyond repair, but with victoria you can't help but think that it was worth it.

eventually, a few days pass by, and the only calls you've gotten are from friends congratulating on what they heard was another great performance. and as nice as all the praise and the new gigs you started to get felt, the longer you heard no word back from victoria, it started to eat away at you inside.

back at your favorite cafe you sit with two of your oldest friends, jamie and chloe, as they ramble about the details of their changing lives and jobs. you don't know when you zoned out but eventually, chloe's manicured finger lightly pokes at your cheek, giggling when you make a playful motion to bite it.

"where'd you go just now? take me with you before jamie keeps talking about his new lover."

"hey!" jamie pouts, "you're just jealous because i've been regularly having passionate sex allll night long while you're still vying over your boss." you hear a shocked gasp behind him and you all turn to see an elderly couple looking at jamie like he's said the most blasphemous thing they've ever heard.

"really classy, james." you snort.

"what the hell! you're supposed to be on my side! everyone has noticed how you've been in a better mood since that gala. alex told us how they checked up on you afterwise and you showed up a day later with a new outfit and a hickey on your neck."

"that is- god, that’s so intrusive and so like them,” you rolled your eyes. you knew as soon as alex saw you that morning that they’d be gossiping to everyone about the state they saw you in. “and i don’t kiss and tell like that. at least not in public like this.”

“ok, so we’ll stop by your place tonight with some wine and talk all about it tonight. agree?”

“what? no-”

“agree!” chloe beams and shakes hands with jamie across the table, blowing you kisses before leaving her share of the bill on the table and leaving with some excuse of having to be somewhere. you glare at jamie as a warning before he gives you a kiss on the cheek and does the same. you grumble before biting into your muffin.

a few hours later you’re sitting on your soft sofa with jamie’s head in your lap and chloe on the other side, talking and laughing about old stories from your jobs. you take a sip of merlot right before jamie brings up what you were hoping they’d forgotten about by now.

“ok ok, enough chatter. seriously, chlo, you cackle like a seagull. y/n, when are you going to tell us about this mystery lover of yours? do you need another glass of wine to start talking?”

“don’t even think about pouring me another glass. look, there’s not much to say, ok? i was singing, she was staring at me from across the bar, we flirted a little, that was it!”

they stared.

“you want more?”

“how could we not? we haven’t seen you like this with anyone! not since we took you on that tourist tour on the seine!”

that…that took you for a spin. you remembered it clear as day, them tugging you along when they’d heard since you came to paris you’d been focusing on building up your image and working. it was more a joke, but the lights of the boat, the sky and the lights made you feel like you were in the most perfect moment of your life. hearing them compare that to how you looked now had a nervous feeling building in your gut.

“we spent the night together. and it was…good. really good. she let me stay while she went out, bought me a new outfit then said she’d be in touch.”

your friends are silent. way too silent. you’re afraid they’re about to laugh and judge you before they’re squealing and tackling you, pulling back when you groan after you almost spill your wine on your clothes.

"god, why are you always the lucky one? this isn't fair! at all!" chloe groans while dramatically resting her head on your shoulder, jamie still giggling as the wine clearly starts to take an effect on him. "please, please tell us what happens next before i scream."

"no thats- i mean, thats it. so far. for now." you stutter along your words as your friends' faces go blank yet again, except this time without a hint of a chuckle or smile.

"what the hell do you mean 'that's it.'? she ghosted you?" jamie gasps.

"no, she didnt ghost me-"

"sweetheart, im sorry to say this but you have been ghosted. in a really dickhead way."

"its not like that! she's a busy person with a serious job and a kid and responsibilities!"

you briefly hear chloe snicker "milf?" before you roll your eyes.

"she's gonna contact me. and even if she doesn't, maybe it was just a nice one-time thing! everyone knows I'm great at those."

jamie snickers before chloe smacks his shoulder in a second.

"why? why did you laugh?"

they share a look before she smacks his shoulder again.

"would you stop? i have pains, you know this. but y/n, we know you. we love you. but your latest stints haven't been...the most successful. or left you in the best headspaces."

"he's right, honey. remember the last girl, hannah? one of the worst situationships i've ever seen. you told us you would be alright when she broke it off and then we found you at that lousy bar at eleven in the morning..."

you start biting at your lip. there was nothing you hated more than when they told you the truth about how you could act. it wasn't your fault that all the time your relationships got messy, or that you got attached a little quickly. people didn't understand but a life like yours could be lonely. standing up on a stage and performing for people who want you to do just that and only that: sing and look like a glamourous pin-up doll. most of the time its the other performers who even bother to ask if your throat is alright after singing for hours.

so yes, sometimes you rushed into relationships. and you might have done it again in the dumbest way possible.

"i just...she let me stay after, y'know? and she came back and brought me with her again. why go through that effort just to leave me behind like trash?" your friends pouted before closing in to comfort you, rubbing your back and giving you small affirmations.

for a month you go into a rut. unless it's performing or going to the dentist for a checkup you don't leave your house. you become pretty good acquaintances with the grocery delivery boy, benny, who started panicking when he realized he forgot one of your items until you assured him it was fine. it wasn't the first time you'd grown so oddly attached to a romantic prospect, and it wasn't the first time you'd gotten hurt by it. you spend your time moping on your couch and binge-watching your favorite show for the third time when your phone buzzes from beside you.

nancy schmancy : call me.

you rolled your eyes. she could have just called you in the first place, but no. she had to be extra about it. you press the call button and don't have to wait even five seconds for her voice to ring in your ear.

"do you want to know what mister barbier just emailed me?"

"i think you already have that answer for me."

"he said, and i quote, 'tell y/n i send my best wishes. her performance last night was hauntingly beautiful, and i'm hoping it was one of her greatest acts yet.'"

"if you ask me, it sounds like i did a pretty good job."

"it sounds like he thought you were singing your damn suicide note!" she groaned, and you could hear her face scrunching from over the phone. "i don't know what is going on with you recently, and i don't want to sound insensitive, but if you can't manage to keep your work and personal life separate, even i can't help you make it far in this business. clients may say they want you to be expressive but they only mean so far. unhappy music means unhappy customers, capeche?"

"i understand, nancy. ill send a personal apology to mister barbier."

"good. ill call you soon to let you know about any new gigs. take care of yourself. seriously."

the line clicks and you toss your phone onto the couch and take another sip of sauvignon blanc from your rose-shaped wine glass. it pained you to admit it, but nancy had a point. if you kept letting yourself mope in your feelings you'd run out of people who wanted you to sing, and if the point came where you were out of gigs...you didn't even want to think about it. if you weren't singing you weren't living.

only a few hours after that call you manage to get back to normal. you go out and get your own groceries, deciding to indulge yourself and buy the ingredients for some recipe you saw online months ago. one of your clients cries at your performance, ecstatically telling you they'll be in talks with your manager to set up a stable contract. things really start to look up. two weeks later you even manage to get the number of a cute girl, elise, a tall woman with dyed hair who reached for the same vintage music box as you at an open market.

you're smiling as you look down at the messy ink on a slip of paper, the numbers and tiny smily face distracting you as you enter the hallway to your apartment. so distracted that you nearly trip over a object on the floor, looking down to see...a bouquet?

a really gorgeous bouquet you notice as you bend over to pick it up. its a collage of dusty blues and off-colored ivories, and when you brought it closer to your nose for a whiff you felt a sense of bliss. you bring it into your apartment with a skip in your step before you spot a piece of paper among the flowers, plucking it from the collection and reading it over.

upon closer inspection, you can see its a postcard, the cover a flattering shot of the statue of liberty with text that reads "love from new york city!". you try to calm your heart down at the location and the 'love' part, but you've already gotten your hopes up when you turn the card around to read the message:

xxx-xxx-xxxx

sorry for the wait. i'll make it up to you, angel.

you'd never felt so conflicted as you did in the past five seconds. half of you was vindicated that yes, this attractive woman didnt leave you high and dry and did actually have a deeper interest in you, but the other part was angry. and embarrassed that you were angry, because again, you spent less than a day with this woman, she didn't owe you anything. but also yes the hell she did.

before you could get yourself together you were harshly tapping the number into your cell, biting at your lip as the phone slowly rings.

"y/n, is that you?" echoes from the line, victorias voice sounding and running over your head like soft silk. no, no, stop it. focus.

"howd you know it was me? im sure you have other people who'd be calling you this late."

"certainly not anyone with a phone number from paris. besides, i was hoping it'd be you."

"well, i would have been flattered two weeks ago but unfortunately i dont think your words could phase me right now."

she sighs and the line goes silent. you feel bad for being catty for a few seconds before you brush it off. she's the one who played with your emotions and promised to call you but never did. she had this coming.

"im sorry, really i am. i've been busy with things at work and my daughter-"

damn it, she pulled the kid card again.

"i just...dont like being lied to. or led on. maybe its my fault for beeing too clingy-"

"no, no. dont apologize. if it means anything youve been on my mind for weeks now."

"yeah, same here. except my thoughts havent been all that nice." you laugh.

"deserved. and id like to make it up to you."

"oh yeah? let me guess, this time we'll spend two nights together?"

"close. how about two weeks. in new york."

you don't know if you should laugh. you feel like you should, so you do. but she isn't.

"you...you're being serious."

"im being serious."

what do you even say? what do you even do? of course, whatever higher power there is would make your life stable and steady for the past few months then throw this in to shake you up. you really should have been expecting it, considering...

you shake yourself back to the present. victoria is still waiting on the other line, unwilling to rush you into a decision, apparently. you'd applaud her for her chivalry if you weren't so stunned.

"victoria, come on. we've only met once, and while it was nice it was brief. now you want me to upend my life and career to jet off to america? it sounds crazy."

"you make me a bit crazy, honestly. besides, you were telling me in bed you haven't been in the states since you left, i have a feeling you miss it more than you let on."

you shuffle in your spot, reminded that you're standing in your cold-ass kitchen and you haven't changed out of the outfit you wore out today. but half of your uncomfortableness is from a feeling gnawing at your chest because she's right. at this point you can barely remember the night you left your childhood home, but you know it was rushed. you wanted to forget everything.

"i think you're also forgetting that i have a blossoming career here. are you gonna pay my definitely going to be pissed off manager her wages? plus i was supposed to be first pick for this really good gig-"

"i'll pay for everything, i promise. dont forget that i have connections. in two weeks they''ll be singing you praises across the globe."

you close your eyes and take in a breath.

"can you make my ticket first class?"

-

one thing you didnt miss about america? just how...much everything was, all the time.

your flight was quiet. victoria didnt hesitate to book you an expensive ticket, almost taking offense to your request for a nice one and scheduling you for business class, sending you a text to get lots of rest in the ultra-luxe beds on the plane. it was probably one of the best nights sleeps you'd had in months.

when you got off the plane there were two tall escorts holding a sign with your last name on it, taking the suitcases from your hands before you could say anything and leading you into a sleek black car. a voice in the back of your head starts screaming but you ignore it. for now.

the men in the car give you some basic rundowns, how they'll constantly be hovering over you during your stay for your "protection", and that they'll be taking you to settle into a hotel until victoria makes contact, and the little voice starts freaking out again and telling you that you've slept with and are fraternizing with a mob boss. at least it's more exciting than your last few flings.

the car goes silent after that, and you put in your earbuds as you watch the city go by. you weren't from new york, but you loved watching movies set in the bustling cityscape. the buildings really are humongous, and you see so many different types of people it sets your brain on a whirlwind.

you look back down at your phone after the fifth 'the seven' advertisement in one block.

yet again you're led into a clearly extremely expensive hotel, breezing through reception before you are led to a luxuriant hotel room, the bodyguards ignoring you as you giggle and flop onto the bed, waving them off when they tell you they'll be posted outside.

the sheets feel heavenly on your skin, and with the soft sunshine from the window beaming down on you and the gentle hustle and bustle of new york outside, you think you could fall asleep in a minute. but, begrudgingly, you peel yourself form the bed and open your suitcase to start putting your clothes away before taking a quick shower in the giant bathtub.

just as you exit the shower and wrap your body in a towel, your phone starts ringing and as soon as you read the 'v' in the contact name you push answer and bring it to your ear.

"hello? vic?"

"hey, hon. eager to talk to me?"

"you called me. and 'hon'? really? we've moved to petnames already?"

"figured id start making up for those weeks with no contact. and id like to do so again tonight. i wanna bring you somewhere."

your mouth quirks up in a smile as you re-adjust the towel around your body, the phone nearly slipping from its quick placement between your phone and ear, "id really like that. i hope its out to dinner, i didnt care to eat any of the plane food."

“yes, it’s to dinner. but its up to you if you want it to be fancy or casual. i know its tacky but there’s this pretty cute french place near where i live...”

“that vaguely sounds like an invitation to your place, but ill let it slide. are you gonna pick me up or are your special agents going to escort me everywhere for the next few weeks?”

“special agents? what agents?”

a bead of water drips from your neck down your back and it feels like the tip of a knife. a pressure builds in the back of your throat and your fingers grip the fabric of your towel. “what…that’s a joke, right?”

her laughter rings in your ear and you are seconds away from hanging up the call.

“sorry, sorry. i sometimes have a weird sense of humor. you'll get used to it.”

“i doubt it.”

“and i'm hopeful. i'll let you go so you can get ready, i'll be by in under an hour.”

you hang up after a sweet goodbye and gently sit on the toilet. your brain is rushing to catch up after the conversation like your body goes on autopilot when you hear victoria's voice. its terrifying and its thrilling. and you don't know why a part of you likes the feeling.

after you brush your teeth, do some quick skincare, debate over shaving just in case, and spend twenty minutes picking out a cute outfit, you finally hear the gentle knocking on the door while you're double-checking over the content of your purse.

rushing to open the door, you're greeted with the sight of a smiling victoria, her hands tucked into the pants of her clearly expensive pinstriped pantsuit. you're admiring the look of her hair tucked back into a ponytail when she's reaching forward and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

"you look perfect. come on, i made us a reservation."

and it turned out to be a perfect night. she did end up taking you to the french place, allowing you to order whatever you wanted. that place was weirdly empty, only a handful of other patrons inside. you were pleased to see that the waitress was french herself, having a small chat about the customs and foods she missed while she praised the authenticity of the food at the restaurant.

only a day and you had already forgotten how forward the people back home could be, because the waitress throws a subtle look at victoria and compliments you on finding such an attractive woman. when she leaves vic just smiles.

“ok, id say at this point we’re doing pretty good with the communication thing, right?” you ask, taking a sip of the pricey wine your date ordered.

“yeah, id say that.”

you finger the rim of your glass, the nerves getting to you before you ask your question. "i want you to tell me what your job is. your actual job, not some vague ass title. you have security following gus around, so i feel like i should know."

"no, no, you're right. i just didnt wanna scare you off. or have you think differently of me once i told you." she sighs, thumbing the napkins on the table. "i work in the government. i'm a congresswoman, to be exact."

you don't doubt she's a politician for a second, because she shows no hint of nervousness at your lack of emotion.

"are you...a good congresswoman?"

"i don't really know how to answer that." she laughs.

"i'm sorry. i knew you were important enough to be at that gala, but a politician is...tricky."

she reaches across the table and lays her hand palm up, smiling when you rest yours on top of it. "look, i get it. i should have told you sooner but please understand why i didn't. i wanted to get to know you as normally as possible, without all of the press and politics in the way."

"normally as possible, huh? that includes sleeping together on the first night?"

you're trying to show your acceptance of the situation with your humor, but you can tell victoria can sense your uneasiness at the situation. here you were thinking you had found some under-the-radar millionaire to dote on you and instead, you'd roped in someone whose job was entirely in the public eye that could be put in danger at the flip of a switch.

"how about we finish up and take this back to my place? i'll tell you everything that you wanna know about me. no matter how personal."

you stare into her eyes for a few seconds and decide that she looks genuine, getting confirmation that her daughter is staying with a friend before ending your meal and following her to her place.

for the amount of money she's ready to spend on you, you're surprised to see that victoria lives in a chic but quaint townhome only a twenty-minute walk from the restaurant. she gently takes off your coat and instructs you to sit with her on the couch, pressing on a remote to turn on her fireplace.

after a few hours and two more glasses of wine, victoria had opened up to you about nearly everything in her life. the mysterious death of her birth family, being adopted by a man who helped pushed her to go into a political career, her polite but loveless marriage with her ex. she even shows you a picture of zoe that she has in her wallet, taking the chance to gush over her daughter. she seems like such a sweet girl.

maybe it's the wine or maybe it's the way vic is opening up to you so freely, but you decide to tell her more about your past. how you always wondered why you barely stuggled moving to another continent at such a young age, or the fact that you dont even remeber why you had the drive to leave your parents home in the first place. you didnt even remember the last words you said to each other.

and throughout it all she's nothing if not attentive, she doesnt ask questions unless you give her permission too, keeping her eyes on you and gently placing her hand over yours.

you feel a turning in your stomach when she moves a stray hand of hair behind your ear. you told yourself to try taking things slow this time, but your body is starting to feel fuzzy and shes looking at you like she wants to devour you.

she decides to indulge you and gently brushes her lips against yours, smiling at the way your breath staggers. your head moves forwards to finaly get her to kiss you but she jerks her head back.

"i want you to tell me what to do."

god, your stomach feels hot. this is new, but a really arousing style of new. the last time you both slept together she had taken a careful but unwavering charge, unraveling you with a steady hand a sweet smile.

"cmon just...please?"

"no. tell me what you want me to do."

you sigh and bite at your lip. "i want you to lay me down and fuck me. right now."

so she laid you down and she did. there were no words to describe how much you enjoyed that night on her couch, the way she could read your body like a book and brought you to ecstasy again and again and again...

and when you wake up a soft blanket is draped over your body, a brekfast of coffee and some crepes set in front of you.

the days after are a whirlwind. discreetly as possible victoria takes you on a tour of new york city, to more expensive restaurants and hidden jewels that most tourists skipped over.

youre lounging in your hotel room when you decide to inform your friends of how your trip is going. while slightly hesitant they seemed more than happy that you were enjoying yourself with someone who took a genuine interest in you.

until you told them her job.

"my love, are you insane? a politician?"

"an american politician?" chloe gasps, continuing off of jamies shock.

"hey, im american too dont forget!"

"of course you are, but please, you understand why this is not good, no?"

"you know how fishy they are, especially with all the supe business going on. that place is getting more dangerous by the day, and i dont think you should be seeing someone whos contirbuting to that."

it pained you to admit it but jamie had a point. the three of you would always laugh in amused horror at how badly things were going on in your birth country, and the politics...it was less than pleasant.

not to mention the supe business. every corner of the world had to deal with the annoyance that was vought and their "products", even france. but so far you'd just had to deal with a few perverted looks from traveling supers and talks of some stupid theme park a few miles out of the city. meanwhile, it seemed like every day a new superhero was being introduced to the American public. it unnerved you.

"i understand. i appreciate both of you looking out for me. trust me, i'll be on my guard for now on." you mumble, picking at the material of your sleeve.

"of course, songbird. we'll call again soon."

the call ends and drop your phone on the nightstand. you look at the eiffel tower cutout in your phone case and your heart aches.

the next morning you're eating a a breakfast of coffee and fruit crepes when your phone rings, dragging your atttention away from the trashy dating show you were watching on the bedroom's tv. when you see nancy's name you hesitantly answer the call.

"nance? is everything alright?"

"everything is great. i'm just here to check in about your next gig."

"my next- nance, im on vacation. please tell you didnt forget and booked me for a job when im across the ocean."

"no, im not that stupid, hon." she sighs. "i didnt even arrange this job, victoria did. im just the messenger."

you blink once. then twice. you remember vic saying something about helping you with a job but you honestly just thought that was bullshit to get her to come stay with you.

(or get in your pants. but you don’t think you’d be too upset about that now.)

“ok. thank you, nancy. tell me the details.”

it’s a lot more extravagant than you expected. victorias friend, an actual senator, was holding a fundraising event for some government program he and vic were both involved in. nancy wasn’t told what the program was, but that you would have to go through a security debrief before being told you'd be given a team to help you prepare. and picking from a selected closet of dresses. fun.

you ignore the feeling of nervousness that’s building up in your gut. because while all of your gigs were important, they were never this important. you push it down as you call victoria and thank her endlessly, when you tell your friends the minimum amount that you can tell them, and when victoria picks you up from outside your hotel twelve hours before the event even starts.

she pressed a small kiss to your hand, laughing at the grumpy and tired mumble you let out when you sit in the car seat. it only passes once she gives you a coffee she picked up, the caffeine waking you up and putting a smile on your face.

the content feeling turns into shock when you enter victorias' place and see zoe, vic throwing a short explanation of “busy babysitter” over her shoulder as she heads into the kitchen.

its a bit awkward at first, sitting on one couch as she plays on a black nintendo switch on the other. it helps when you ask her about whatever she’s playing, the girl diving into a rant about the farm game she’s playing and how she’s trying to catch a certain type of fish.

victoria comes back with a tray of breakfast for the three of you before asking her daughter how school is going, how her friends are, etc. its nice to get a glimpse into victories private life during the morning, the close bond she has with her daughter. you notice some tension but decide not to bring it up.

the morning goes by too quickly, zoe being picked up to be dropped off at a friend's house after giving you a sweet goodbye and you getting rushed upstairs as the team comes to the townhome to help you prepare. its a nice change, having other people doll you up instead of having to worry about trying to do everything correctly and by yourself. and its a perk you don't have to spend your own money to do it.

the team members are nice but punctual, finishing your hair and makeup in record time with not a second wasted. you barely get time to notice yourself in the mirror before you're ushered into a gorgeous gown, soft fabrics and a chic and elegant style.

when your finished you’re finally allowed to observe yourself while your transportation and is prepared, and it feels like you’re looking at a dream version of yourself.

as you admire yourself in the mirror vic comes up next to you, clearly enjoying herself as her eyes slowly drift up and down your body.

“you look…ethereal.” she whispers, pressing a small kiss to your cheek after you turn to smile at her.

“only because of you. i don’t know how i could ever make this up to you, vic. this is just…”

“trust me, you’ve already done enough.”

while you knew there would be some press at the event, you didn't expect over two dozen paparazzi to quickly start flashing their cameras in your direction as soon as you got out of your ride. questions about who you were wearing, the relationship you had with vic, etcetera etcetera. you would've buckled from the sudden pressure if it weren't for victoria’s steady hand on your waist, the press of her arm through her red pantsuit.

the venue is downright insane, so grand you start to wonder if you're in one of those gilded age mansions you used to read about in new york magazines. climbing pillars and art on the ceiling of the main hall, which you don't get to admire since you’re yet again whisked away to get ready.

after a few more touch ups you aren’t afforded a minute to prepare, guided to the edge of the performance area. the sinking feeling is back in your stomach. the biggest moment of your life and you feel like you’re going to be sick.

the lights dim and you glide onto the stage, able to see the shadows of the guests faces from the flickering table lights. it’s eerie, the amount of them staring up at you with eyes you can’t even see.

you were given a set list a few days prior, only a couple of songs for the payment you would apparently receive after this. the songs piqued your interest, a collection of classical melancholic pieces from around the fifties. vic told you her friend was a vintage nut, but you didn't know why he chose these for you to perform when the event seemed to have an uplifting aura.

either way it felt…different, singing this time. the spotlight was on you and you’ve never felt as beautiful as you did in this moment. everyone was watching you, so hooked on the melodies escaping your body that you could see the emotions brining some people to the edge of their seats.

you don’t let it show but you grow a bit anxious at the sight of supers in their uniforms in the crowd. you don’t see anyone from the seven, but you do notice a woman you recognized from some commercial about climate change and earth preservation, the green of her dress and the nature motifs in her outfit give you a clue as to what her power was.

just when you feel yourself about to slip, dangerously close to hitting a note at a weird pitch, you see victoria, getting deja vu at the sight of her staring at you from the bar like the first night you met. she's looking at you like she's never doubted you for a second, like you're an angel sent from above that's blessed her life.

you hold her gaze when you sing. noticing the soft smile on her face when you sing a lyric about how the feelings in your heart feel so intense you fear you're going insane.

when the first song ends the lights come back on and you're met with a polite yet thunderous applause, the smile on your face so wide your cheeks start to hurt. the presenter comes back on stage, praising your performance with a swipe at his eyes before telling the guests that the host would be on shortly, and after he gives a short speech you'd be back to sing some more. with a gentle nod and wave, you step off the stage.

you feel like you're walking on air, with no doubt that was one of your best performances yet. your emotions got a little intense there but nothing you couldn't manage, and everyone seemed to like it anyway.

you're able to send a quick text and a picture to jamie and chloe before you hear the sound of the door to your quaint dressing room open, not able to turn around before you feel hands around your waist and plush lips on the side of your neck, the sight of victoria wrapped around you in the mirror making butterflies swarm in your stomach.

"i take it you liked my singing?"

"like doesn't even begin to cover it," she mumbles into your neck, raising her head slightly to be able to hold eye contact through the mirror. "i'm so lucky i found you, y'know that?"

you playfully brush her off, telling her you have to freshen up for some mingling before you get back on stage. she gladly helps you with your makeup, and while you weren't expecting her to be so touchy tonight you definitely aren't complaining, especially when her hand starts to drift closer to the space between your legs. it takes an embarrassing amount of mental strength to deny her, promising you'll continue once you go back to her place.

once you're finished getting ready she leads you back out to the hall, introducing you to numerous business people, politicians, celebrities, etc. you try not to fangirl when you meet a singer whose songs you've been obsessed with lately and when she asks you to perform at her cousins wedding. victoria just smirks when she leads you away and you let out a tiny squeal under your breath.

once the networking is done you're able to take the time to sit down and eat some of the catered food, almost moaning at the tastes of the food. you sometimes forget just how good food could be in the states, and these rich people pulled out all the stops. you try not to eat too quickly or impolitely as victoria talks with her tablemates, some people from her job apparently. after the first introductions and praises they gave you you mentally tapped out of the situation. she luckily covers for you when they question your mood, laughing when she tells them you've had a long day of being treated like a singing barbie doll.

everyone in the room quiets down when the hos taakes the stage and starts his speech. he introduces himself as robert stendham, and you feel a little embarrassed that this man gave you the chance to sing here and you didn't even know his name. you're thinking about how odd it is that you weren't introduced before this when he mentions something about the program and you perk up.

"...extend a personal thank you to general jameson for finding the time to escape his duties to fly in and be here with us tonight, and a special thanks to director neuman for helping me with this project and finding the beautifully talented y/n to perform for us tonight."

there was a brief few seconds of applause, victoria looking around and giving out smiles while you wondered what the hell she was the director of.

"as you can see, we have a few supers with us tonight. people like hazelwood, whose efforts against climate change have lead to over a dozen organizations plating millions of trees and clearing millions of pounds of trash for the ocean. because that's what supers are supposed to do-protect us. not act like degenerates who get to do what they want because of their abilities."

your eyebrow twitches, sensing the slight anti-supe propaganda from the end of his speech. well, not anti every supe, just the ones who act like gods among men, which you could understand. but you still felt an uneasy feeling rising in your stomach. you feel vic's palm rest over the top of your hand under the table.

"which is why im incredibly honored that director and congresswoman neuman has extended a hand to me to invest in the federal bureau of superhuman affairs, and to further extend that hand to you to help participate in this monumental institution..."

everything is a fog and your brain taps out once he starts talking about what this burerua does, how they closely monitor supes and jail the ones who've caused public harm. your head feels hot and your chest feels cold, and you can't stop your body from going on auto-pilot and excusing yourself to the bathroom before finding some balcony on the higher floor.

the cold air of new york shocks your body back into normalcy, but the pounding in your head persists. it feels like a panic attack ut so much worse, like your fight or flight has been activated without anything even happening. had you rushed into all of this? chasing a girl and a dream like you were a teenager again?

yet again the door opens behind you and someone comes to stand next to you, able to tell who it is by the scent of brown sugar and the glimpse of dark hair blowing with the slight breeze.

"you alright? mr. brandon from the tech startup was asking about you, tried to make me invest in some room light plant grower hybrid-"

"why did you bring me here?"

you cut her off and the air is quiet, save for the sounds of cars and the city and the wind. it's weird, standing in a tense silence like this with her.

"how are you feeling?" she whispers .

"are you- " you turn, nearly giving yourself whiplash with the speed at which you turn to look at her. the look on her face, like she's just observing you and how you're reacting. it only upsets you more. "are you being serious?"

"yes, i am. tell me."

"no, answer my question first. why are you avoiding it?"

she sighs, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face before reaching to grab your hand, which you hesitantly let her hold.

"as you heard, im part of a buereau that monitors supherhumans, keeping track of them, making sure they cant use their powers for harm. so far we've only had to deal with supes here in the states. until one day, this couple comes in that believe their daughter has used her powers on them."

she reaches for something in her pocket and your grip tightens. she pulls out a polaroid and holds the picture up for you to see. you feel like you're going to vomit when you see you, smiling, standing with your parents in a backyard.

"what...what is this? how'd you get this?"

"the couple gave me this picture, and told me how weird the least few years have been. friends and family asking where their daughter went, how she was doing, a daughter they didnt even remeber having."

you bring a hand up to your head, hopelessly trying to dissipate the splitting headache that's forming.

"but then they said the memories started coming back. glimpses of a child running in the grass, birthday parties, graduations, talent shows-"

"stop, please just stop." you gasp, hunching over as good as you can with the restrictions of your gown. it doesn't even feel like the world is just spinning, it feels like its being played in some celestial game of pool. "so what, you're saying...you're saying i did that? to my parents?"

"yes," she reaches for the side of your face, guiding you to look up at her. "and you can do so much more. you already have."

this can't be happening.

"why do you think people react so emotionally to your singing? you think its just because you're amazing? that's not even half of it."

your breathing is picking up again.

flashes of memories start appearing in your vision. so many happy times with your parents that you forgot, friends that you left behind. how your parents didn't support your half-thought-out plan to become a singer, how you made them forget. made yourself forget.

"i don't want you to think i did all of this just for what i want. i didn't. i care about you, and i want you to help me. but you need to trust me."

the blood is rushing back and from your head, and you think about how weird her eyes look against the backdrop of the city before you pass out.

finally. FINALLY. ong i wrote like 1k in the past day because i said just get this shit over with but its done! 5 months later! hope you enjoyed :)

[sewerdraws]

New pinned and meet the artist wooh !

So hi i guess, welcome to the sfw part of the art cave, also known as Sniper in Situations because i tend to have unhealthy obsessions for men with sideburns.

I post my art here tagged as #my art but also reblog random shit, friends art and a lot of tf2 related posts in general !

The nsfw good stuff is over there, way less active but i'd like to pick up the pace so go show it some love i guess idk. MINORS DNI WITH THIS ACCOUNT.

FIC WRITERS you are encouraged to seek me out through dms to translate, beta-read or confirm french in fics ! I'm very passionate about translation and you will never bother me, please do it !

Commisions slots : 2/2 Taken

Request status : Closed

currently doing : 2 sketched out

I take requests and suggestions for my interests listed under the cut ! I don't do self-shipping or ocs (nothing against them, im just here to draw my canon blorbos), and asks with thought-out elaborate prompts or situations are more likely to be prioritized !

Interests, tags and random stuff under the cut

Art from mutuals and friends is tagged #frens art

Textposts or rbs with comments are tagged #rambles

Requests and answers to questions are tagged #asked

Shitposts are just #shitposts

Although i'm currently consumed by tf2, i have a ton of interests that i'm always happy to discuss. These include : tf2, gta V, the walking dead, homestuck and the intermission fandom, ff XIV, abc's Lost and way more.

I have The Autism and The Anxiety so i apologize if i sometimes get awkward or can't get my point across but im also rly chill so you can tell me to fuck off if needed !!

My dms are open but please understand i'm a real person with feelings and an outside life, i might not always answer when or how you would like me to.

[akascow]

Dead Boy Detectives and The Divine Comedy

Dante's Inferno (hell), Purgatorio (purgatory), and Paradiso (heaven/paradise)

its not a complete one-to-one but its a neat thing to think about in regards to dbd

it kinda makes sense because the levels of hell in the show are based off the depiction we see in Dantes Inferno, and the next in the trilogy of the divine is where they travel the mountain of purgatory

but anyway edwins file in the night nurses book said he either goes to Hell or PLV-4s

okay this is kind of a long one so strap in

Overall:

this is based on shotty memory bUT

in the trilogy you would be put to the respective layer you belong (hell, purgatory or heaven)

if youre a sinner, hell, but Dante goes through all layers going down, then to lucifer who blocks the path leading to purgatory.

youd then have to climb up the mountain of purgatory depending on your sins for like a number of eons until you cleanse yourself of the sins, once you make it past a layer youre free of it forever and one step closer to paradise

and only then are you able to get to paradise and i THINK the layer of paradise youre placed on is based on how good a person you are or smth

Purgatory:

someone pointed out it could mean Purgatory Level V (5) or just level, and the 4s could mean how long he should spend there (?) but layer 4 is also Sloth so theres that too (the souls being that theyre forced to run all the time which is lowkey what edwin goes through in hell)

which is the path you have to travel AFTER getting through hell you would normally go through up purgatory in order to get up to heaven once youve proven ur self worthy and ur sins righted iirc

so i think he would have to be placed somewhere in the middle (based on the level V if thats the right theory, theres 9 layers total) of that mountain based on his life and unfinished business and everything hes done while as a ghost he would have already been pushed up a few levels

so im assuming the night nurse's book was like glitching out because he was supposed to be in hell (on a technicality) but he served time there being passed around demon to demon, made it out of hell, but in the opposite way of purgatory

according to Dante's i believe he would have gone to purgatory IF he had unfinished business but he made it back to earth (the wrong way), and because of the things he did helping ghosts it technically counted towards his unfinished business so like he should be in hell because thats where he was placed last BUT everything hes done post-post-mortem wouldve counted towards purgatory and (maybe up to heaven ?)

Paradise:

on another theory, PLV could either mean paradise level Venus (the lovers) being the 3rd layer but the layer of heaven granted to those who in life were deficient in the temperance of love (smth smth edwins repressed feelings and never engaging in then smth smth)

the 4th layer is the Sun (the wise) -4s maybe?- which hold the souls of the wise, which kinda plays into edwin being the brains of the team so to speak, and he was seen reading in his mortal life before dying, as well as knowing a bunch of languages and probably a whole bunch more in his afterlife (in the comics they taught french at st hilarions so im assuming he knew that before he died)

the 5th layer is Mars (the warriors of faith)- maybe layer V?- i dont really believe this is the case bc this layer is given to those who gave up their life in the name of faith, but i would like to believe everything he went through in hell and also everything he gave up eternal virtue for to help the lost souls left on earth could grant him to be a warrior

heres a diagram to put into perspective

but yeah theres a little divine comedy lesson for yall

idk take it all with a grain of salt because i learned about dantes inferno like last year and really only remember the hell part of it all. also dante thought that gay people were worse than murderers in hell so thats another issue. aND the sandman universe takes into account all faiths and religions and gods and mythology theres not actually a true one god. and the divine comedy is very much a catholic read so yeah

[felipe-v-fanblog]

My Questions:

If you had the chance to meet your favorite historical figure, what is the first thing you would ask them?

What is a trait you share with your favorite historical figure?

Who is Isabel de Farneso? because Idk much about her except the fact that she is ambitious.

im always happy to talk to you :3 makes me happy.

long ass post as usual (this is to be expected when handling with me):

1.IIII i guess people would expect me to say that felipe v is my favourite historical figure, but I dont like him in a historical way, he is just my blorbo. My favourite one is Louis XVIII as he was a really good king, I would say the best France ever had (I would say the only good one they ever had), and I dont have any questions about him because I went down the french rabbit hole. But I have been hyperfixating on Robespierre lately and there is not much known about him in his intimate life and thats something I would really want to know because I am a communist.

2.III with Louis XVIII hehe we are both INTPs 5w6 and gay and pretentious whores. tbh he was a meanie and that was very real from him. he was a very pathetic whore ngl i love him but he would be today a sassy whore. its so funny to talk about him like this when everybody knows him as the soon-to-die king of the bourbonic restoration but eh he has a very wild story behind. he is my favourite part of the marie antoinette story along with his wife. wild stuff. anyway i share more traits with christian vii of denmark. i love him he is my son

3.Ah finally infodumping. I always expect people who like Spain to know her I am sorry if I talked about her as if everybody knows her iii when I think of Spain I think about my best friend who is from there and about the habsburgs and the catholic kings and Isabel de Farnesio (also known as Elizabeth Farnese or Elisabetta Farnese) . Of course she was the second wife of Philip V of Spain and the last princess of Parma and Piacenza from the Farnese family which you may know them as they come from Carlos I and V of Spain and the Holy Roman Empire (the habsburg guy) . I always expect people who likes habsburgs to like all habsburgs at least the classic ones so ! i will guess you already know him and are aware of his life. She is also related to one of the popes from that time, I cant remember which one, and very important italian nobles which I cannot remember right now. From her childhood she was a very kind and smart woman and all her family loved her. Very important character here is cardinal Alberoni which back at the time wasnt a cardinal but worked for the duke of Parma which was the uncle or the father of Isabel (I cannot tell which one was duke at the time Alberoni was there but it was probably her father) . When the spanish war of succession begins Louis-Joseph de Vendôme is sent to work for Spain and his troops are set in Italy to stop the imperial troops from the territories that back at the time were spanish. So the duke of Parma goes to nicely ask him if he could take his troops out of his territory . as to which vendôme shows him his ass ? which is a power-move for me . so he sent alberoni to talk to vendôme because he got upset because vendôme was like XD lmao anyway alberoni and vendôme began a sexual affair from there which ended in louis-joseph taking him to spain and from there alberoni settling on Philip Vs court . when Marie Louise Gabrielle of Savoy dies (first wife of Philip V) he asks for a new wife and, the princess of Ursins, wanting to keep her power over Philip V, which she usually had over his wife as they were friends, eh Alberoni suggests to marry Philip V to Isabel. This is a nasty plot from Alberoni bc he already told Isabel that Philip V would easily let her manipulate him (he is malewife) . so eh the princess of Ursins thought that Isabel would be nice to her as Isabel would never be able to marry a king without her as she was a very not-rich princess. And so it happened and Isabel made Philip V push the princess of Ursins out of the carriage (literally, in the middle of nowhere) . Isabel de Farnesio is known for taking back the italian territories that Spain lost during the war of succession (may not be all of them, but they gained a lot, and she also made a lot of her children reign there) . She was practically the king of Spain during her time there until Ferdinand VIs reign. She loved her children a lot and her favourite was Filippo di Parma and Carlos III. She was hated by the spaniards and her step-sons as she also hated them. She liked to go hunting and knitting. She is also the one who gave the next bourbon-anjous the weird face (check out the names Ferdinando I de las dos Sicilias or Carlos III de España o Carlos IV de españa o infante Don Luis de Borbón-Vallabriga) . Is this everything about her ? I am having doubts but I read a big ass book about her this year so IIII could probably remember something about her later . may send you an ask about mariana de austria or felipe iv later ! with your permission and reassurance. maybe even talk about don juan josé. i would talk about don juan josé all my life.

[forgottenroderick]

OOC | The Empress

felt like making crests, and so im back on this train heehee! ok so im thinking that maybe the white/silver in guin's crest is perhaps a nod to her mom's colors, so im thinking that's probs one of the main colors we're working w here and, w that in mind onto the charge!

as a reminder, doves symbolize loving constancy and peace, good tidings; represents the soul, the spirit of god; peace, purity, chastity; and argent indicates peace and sincerity

from [ this list ], the charges (in no partiucular order save the one i came upon them hahah) that felt most ~guin's mom~ lsdkjafsldkjf to me felt:

lion (probs white) -- dauntless courage; bravery, strength, ferocity, valour

winged lion (also probs white) -- prosperity, power, bravery, wisdom, royalty

golden fleece -- power, authority, kingship

pegasus (white) -- fame, eloquence, poetic study, contemplation; poetic genius and inspiration; swiftness

unicorn (white) -- extreme courage; virtue and strength; purity

sphinx -- omniscience, secrecy, mystery, guardianship, divinity, providence, intellect

pomegranate -- fertility and abundance

annulet/ring -- fidelity, mark of fifth son

fusil/diamond (probs white) -- travel, labor; industry; (of yarn) negotiation

lamp, ancient -- light, hope, purity, devotion, divinity, wisdom, intellect, good works

wing(s)/vol -- protection; swiftness; peace, flight, freedom, enlightenment

(i noted the cases in which the sigil is probs white vs the bg being white...idk if that really matters but here we are kladjsfkljsdf)

what do you guys think? (also, thinking abt this and idk if guin has any maternal family still kicking but even if they're distantly related they probs got a bigggg powerup at court the instant that woman died ironically enough lakjdsflkjsdjkf great husbanding, there, roderick! as always...)

POTENTIAL NAMES

also thinking of naming guin's mom elaine (the og ophelia!) given the arthurian connections and also the woman dying for love of a husband too concerned w another woman (who btw ~was guinevere whom elaine greatly resembled!) to notice vibes...what do you guys think of that? this name is v ancient and has lotsaaaa meanings but that thing i did about aria and eilionora's names include most of 'em! since this is, ofc, using different base languages, a basis for eilia's name and that of her mother as well which is why ive hesitated so long to just call her this hahaha

some versions:

elaine

elena

elina

eline

eliina

ella

elli

elna

helen

helena

hella

helle

leena

lene

ilona

these are all (except for elaine which is the welsh/french arthurian vers of the name) are of scandinavian derivation, like the visigothic language

another potential is dido, a legendary carthaginian queen who cast herself upon a funeral pyre when (in some versions) her lover abandoned her to go conquering. another hella old name manyyyy meanings by now but "beloved" and "wanderer" and "god + fire + woman" and "gold/golden" are amongst the most common/recurring

dido

dino

dion

dior

diot

dye

elisa

elishat

elissa

elsa

gusta

lilli

lise

tenney

side note that tenney might also serve as her ~house name instead so that's smth too idk

there's also

ophelia

who ~also famously drowned herself after her lover betrayed her. it means "help/advantage"

or, finally,

glauke/glauce

the second wife of jason who was poisoned by medea, his first wife, and means "gleaming/bright"

also obv down for any suggestions!! these were just some ideas based on the empress's own fate hahahaah

[lem0nademouth]

my unsolicited opinions on all the eurovision grand final songs

i promise i’ll shut up after this

🇦🇲 Jako by Ladaniva - fun! makes me wanna dance! love the Balkan folk elements in the instrumentals. v happy they made it to grand finals.

🇦🇹 We Will Rave by Kaleen - in my top five. would bet my bottom dollar every club in europe will be blasting this all summer.

🇭🇷 Rim Tim Tagi Dim by Baby Lasanga - its fine. not sure how it was the projected winner. like its not a bad song, its just not the best of the bunch.

🇨🇾 Liar by Silia Kapsis - cute and fun! will add to my rotation of “men ain’t shit” songs.

🇪🇪 (nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi by 5miinust x Puuluup - not a huge fan but i see the appeal. also remind me to never learn Estonian.

🇫🇮 No Rules! by Windows95Man - didn’t stand out to me but it might be bc i know approximately 15 white boys who make music exactly like this (no shade i promise)

🇫🇷 Mon Amour by Slimane - gonna out myself as someone who had a French pop phase and say this is a solid B- by my standards. France, send Amir Haddad in 2025.

🇬🇪 Firefighter by Nutsa Buzaladze - another top five pick. powerful, defiant, infectious.

🇩🇪 Always On The Run by Isaak - i was shocked by how much i enjoyed this song. not in my top five, but its damn good and i’m gonna be listening to Isaak more in the future.

🇬🇷 ZARI by Marina Satti - had a v good time with this one. really love the blend of musical traditions that come through.

🇮🇪 Doomsday Blue by Bambie Thug - i wanted to like this song. i really did. but besides it not being my sound, it also just kind of falls flat technically? idk, its just. not that good.

🇮🇱 Hurricane by Eden Golan - powerful vocals, heart wrenching performance. regardless of the results, i desperately need a version with the original lyrics.

🇮🇹 La noia by Angelina Mango - the former classical music student in me loves a nice Italian bop. wasn’t blown away, but still enjoyed the song.

🇱🇻 Hollow by Dons - i like it! good job latvia!

🇱🇹 Luktelk by Silvester Belt - not my sound, not a fan, not gonna yuck ur yum if u like it tho.

🇱🇺 Fighter by Tali - makes! me! wanna! DANCE! wasn’t expecting French but u learn something new every day!

🇳🇱 Europapa by Joost Klein - no joke when i first heard this song i thought it was a bit. like i thought this was a literal joke. how the fuck did this qualify. *note: i hated this song before joost got disqualified*

🇳🇴 Ulveham by Gåte - what is going on in scandanavia w the dogshit eurovision entries

🇵🇹 Grito by iolanda - fuck me up on this. not a top five but still a banger

🇷🇸 Ramonda by Teya Dora - im pretty indifferent on this one

🇸🇮 Veronika by Raiven - again, indifferent. didnt love it didnt hate it

🇪🇸 ZORA by Nebulossa - fun party song but not much more than that

🇸🇪 Unforgettable by Marcus & Martinus - not my fave. send Omar Rudberg next year.

🇨🇭 The Code by Nemo - mazel tov on the win, but im gonna be so honest this was like a 6/10 for me. also why is y’alls flag not flag shaped.

🇺🇦 Teresa & Maria by alyona alyona + Jerry Heil - OH BABY. OH BABY. BANGER. BOP. JAM. CANNOT STOP LISTENING. I AM SO OBSESSED.

🇬🇧 Dizzy by Olly Alexander - i am begging the UK to 1. compete as separate countries and 2. stop fucking sending the most mid songs on the planet

final personal top ten

1. Ukraine 🇺🇦

2. Israel 🇮🇱

3. Austria 🇦🇹

4. Luxembourg 🇱🇺

5. Georgia 🇬🇪

6. Germany 🇩🇪

7. Italy 🇮🇹

8. Portugal 🇵🇹

9. Latvia 🇱🇻

10. Armenia 🇦🇲

[yourfavepookiebear]

I just realized something. I'm not good at anything.

I'm not good at learning. I'm not good at teaching. I'm not good at concentrating. I'm not good at listening. I'm not good at working. I'm not good at pe. I'm not good at horseriding. I'm not good at rock climbing. I'm not good at hiking. I'm not good at running. Im not good at basketball. I'm not good at volleyball. I'm not good at football. I'm not good at roller skating. I'm not good at ice skating. I'm not good at maths. I'm not good at physics. I'm not good at chemistry. I'm not good at computer. I'm not good at biology. I'm not good at technology. I'm not good at researching. I'm not good at writing. I'm not good at cooking. I'm not good at speaking. I'm not good at remembering. I'm not good at comforting. I'm not good at being kind. I'm not good at being myself. I'm not good at being pretty. I'm not good at being funny. I'm not good at acting. I'm not good at singing. I'm not good at voice-acting. I'm not good at French. I'm not good at Spanish. I'm not good at Arabic. I'm not good at German. I'm not good at Persian. I'm not good at advising. I'm not good at analyzing. I'm not good at statistics. I'm not good at negotiating. I'm not good at convincing. I'm not good at eating. I'm not good at observing. I'm not good at creating. I'm not good at being creative. I'm not good at helping. I'm not good at respecting. I'm not good at dancing. I'm not good at..

I'm not good at anything. There's maybe two or three things I'm relatively good at : daydreaming, cleaning, and thinking. Heck maybe even at spouting bullshit and random nonsense in the middle of class.

Mom was right, I'm actually not good at anything. I always hated her for saying that but ig she was right. How will i even find a way to support myself when i grow up ? At this rate, even working as a Walmart cashier is too hard for me.

How will I find a job ?

Mom says I have to be a doctor but I doubt I'd even get accepted into a university, much less a med school.

Lawyer ? Impossible, I wouldn't get accepted and I'm bad at arguing, plus I'm mostly a pacifist.

Writer ? I have bad imagination and on top of that I'm lazy and bad at writing.

Singer ? I'm bad at singing and I don't have the looks.

Actress ? Im bad at acting.

Voice-actress ? Nope

Office worker ? I can only concentrate for 30 minutes maximum

Therapist ? I'm the one who needs therapy.

Police officer ? Nope, not a chance. Not only do I hate that, but I'm also pretty weak so it's not even an option.

Philosopher ? I'm good at overthinking but Philosophy courses need a lot of complicated math.

Mathematician ? I'm horrible at math.

Translator ? Maybe, if it was my last choice.

Soldier ? I used to want to be one, but I'm weak both physically and mentally and emotionally and psychologically.

Dancer ? Low stamina, I get tired easily and I'm bad at dancing.

Scientist ? It's super interesting to me but science is not my forté.

Carpenter ? Nope just no.

Maid ? Maybe, but the pay is horrible..

Waitress ? My voice cracks, I'm clumsy, and I struggle to keep my balance.

Rock climber ? Nope. My hands and feet are always super sweaty and cold asf. I really sweat a LOT, even if the weather is cold.

Hostess ? Idk man, doesn't sound too good

Flight attendant ? I really like that job and I think I would be good at it but then again I'm scared of heights and I'm not strong so I wouldn't be able to help a passenger eith their luggage.

Pilot ? Scared of heights.

Chef ? Cooking is just not my thing, I'm bad at it and I often get impatient while cooking, and I get my hands dirty easily.

Model ? I'm not tall enough. Plus i doubt I'm skinny enough bc to become a model you have to be as thin as a stick and as tall as a tree.

Assassin ? Nope, nope, just nope

Hitman ? // (^)

Spy ? I would probably trip on something or laugh and expose myself.

Bus driver ? I can't even ride a scooter/bicycle, what makes this an option..

Uber driver ? No, I'd rather avoid anything consisting of driving a vehicle, whether it's a car or a motorcycle..

Fuck hopefully if I get really really super duper lucky maybe I'll find a rich guy i could marry.

[gaypkins]

tagged by @otisbdriftwood to list the 9 albums im currently into !! <3 thank u

Haus der Lüge - Einstürzende Neubauten

LOVE THIS ALBUM SO MUCH stuck in my mind for months and months, no other album from neubauten will be as good as this one

2. Symbols - KMFDM

Gotta love german music

3. The Downward Spiral - Nine Inch Nails

In my Trent/NIN era idk

4. I Am a Bird Now - Anohni

I looooove her..... will see her in june with my dad in law, she has such a beautiful voice

5. Phenom'N - Keen'V

cringe french music but tbh it's so fun idc (can't add the right album but the song is right)

6. The Process - Skinny Puppy

hiiii, I have a cassette with this, can't stop listening to it

7. Too Dark Park - Skinny Puppy

side B of the same cassette has this album on it hehe (and Worlock)

8. Rampen (apm: alien pop music) - Einstürzende Neubauten

the very new album.... will see them in october !!

9. The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We - Mitski

............ yes some songs made me cry........................

tagging: @majortomwaits @evilbubblewrap @johnfdonovan @cannibaldatingsite and anyone else <3

[dogstarblues]

20 Questions

got tagged by @artemis-devotee. seemed like fun! ty botan!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 11 works and i can tell you four of those are poetry.

2. What’s your total AO3 words count?

17,831

3. What fandoms do you write for?

on ao3? used to write for the ch**tiverse, still write for Victoria Goddard's Nine Worlds. well, okay im on hiatus from participating in fan stuff bc i got too much going on and i have complicated feelings abt fandom. but. on ffnet? naruto, inuyasha, bleach, fairy tail, danny phantom. i think.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

we have time (love this one - much needed natural hair content in that fandom, much needed)

you can't even see how much you're mine (i'm really proud of this one)

before we have time

just for now

gazing at the sun

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i respond to everyone's comments if i can remember LOL

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

you can't even see how much you're mine. really exorcised my polyamory baggage with that one LMAO

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

mmmmm none of them end poorly but they end heavily, if that makes sense? but also they don't. like most of my fanfiction as an adult in my 30s is discussion of wants and needs in a relationship and hashing out things that need to be talked abt

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have on ffnet when i was a teen and giving every naruto character in my biopunk fanfic like 4 codenames SDKVDFLVMS

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

yuh. "just for now" is smut (old man yaoi). and there's another i think. i wanted to really confront my sex repulsion and explore my own boundaries around what i write.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

naur i never understood crossovers v well. i love an AU tho

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

probably not. on ffnet it was SO goth edgelord and now it's extremely poetic prose. (and when i say POETIC prose i mean it tend to be concise and abstract, not that its purple) who wants that LOL

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

naur

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

yes! my first fanfiction was with my childhood friend Sunshine and we posted a double-self-insert absolute MANIC fanfic set in the world of Inuyasha posted to ffnet. one of my fondest memories. i dictated, she wrote.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

i don't have one these days but i shant say what it used to be only that it made me insane from the time i was 14 to the age of 25.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i had an old man yaoi urban fantasy au wherein a character who used to be the chosen one had been imprisoned and was surviving the trauma of that as a music teacher and i read a ton of prison literature for it and watched documentaries and watched interviews and spent WEEKS researching trauma from incarceration and what it means to be incarcerated (part of this was because my birth father was about to be incarcerated and i was trying to write through my understanding of what he'd be going through) and researching what town councils do. and then a (now former) friend had torn apart the fic paragraph by paragraph during beta and wrote how boring parts were and no one wanted to hear abt me talking abt poetry in the fanfic and it was my FIRST fanfic since i was in my early twenties and i basically deleted the whole thing out of embarrassment and hurt. iykyk who it was. idk if i can ever go back to that. i just don't. i want to but. even strangers in workshops aren't that cruel LOL

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm a pretty/poetic writer good at relationship shit i think. i'm good at grounding the reader in a sense of place and my writing is very tactile. it's embodied.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i am a pretty/poetic writer

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i know some spanish and a little french and even less russian (i'm like learning that one through osmosis) but it's not v applicable. hmmmm i wouldn't try unless i was fluent.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

inuyasha

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

either the naruto biopunk fanfiction on ffnet (i turned that one into a fanfic from a biopunk short story i had written in high school it's v close to my heart even if edgy) or "you can't even see how much you're mine" bc i put a lot into that or "we have time" because your partner doing your natural hair IS a love language.

if yall wanna hop in i'm tagging @toopunkrockforshul @cadencekismet @markeyverse

[wikipediafag]

15 questions | 15 people

tagged by @twinpeaksrecord thx 4 the tag !! v sweet :)

are you named after anyone? yup! Afeni Shakur she was a black panther party member & tupac's mother

when was the last time you cried? listening to Blonde as i type this lol had a lil tear at "you are from my past life/hope u feeling well bruh"

do you have any kids? nope

do you use sarcasm a lot? too much maybe

what’s the first thing you notice about people? behavior/mannerisms idk.. how they're Acting

what are the colour of your eyes? brown-black

scary movies or happy endings? scary!!!! my s/o and i watched Saw II for st. valentines yesterday it was super fun :p

any special talents? i dont think so? i dont wear makeup daily but im very good at it! more like a secret hobby lol i find it annoying to wear it under my glasses,, which i wear everyday so...

where were you born? NY

what are your hobbies? i love writing so... lots of that. poems, short stories, essays, journaling idk Anything. i play ukulele, been playing for 6? 7? years now :) love movies love horror movies and i listen to a terrifying amount of music each year. like every waking hour <3

do you have any pets? leopard gecko! she's a princess and i love her

what sports do you play/have you played? i've been pretty strictly Solo Sports for a looong time lol Martial Arts, Rollerskating, Ice Skating (i used to do figure but had to quit), Swim, Riflery, Archery, and Track bc of fucking course.

how tall are you? dont laugh yall im 5'1"

favourite subject in school? english history or french it was always one of the three

dream job? ok vast range but. mortician or english teacher. DreamDream job would be professor teaching african diaspora lit or smth

tags: i def wont do 15 ppl lol soz @ziggygloom @das-wil @thegenius8pie @merricatcoded @blehlife103 @fennnnton @lip-scrub @stonerfae

[nancyboy1997]

hi! :) do you know any rock sounding musicals in french besides mozart opera rock? i kind of need to practise french listening lol

have a nice day!!

hello yes i do!!! a lot of these are also produced by dove attia (who made mlor)

1789 les amants de la bastille: about the french revolution, not as good as mlor imo but still very enjoyable!! also yamin dib (rosenberg in mlor) is there and he’s very funny (proshot w/ english subs)

la légende du roi arthur: king arthur musical 👍👍 im normal about it!!! florent mothe as arthur pendragon himself :3 also camille lou!! who is in 1789 as well (proshot w/o english subs) (ik there is one with them but i can’t find it rn)

timéo: circus musical! feat. mikelangelo loconte as a ringmaster i think idk too much about this one but the music is v good!!

le roi soleil: musical about king louis xiv i think, i don’t have much to say about this either as i haven’t seen it yet but the music is funky! also merwan rim (clown in mor) is in it iirc (proshot w/ english subs)

notre-dame de paris: sung through musical of victor hugo’s novel of the same name (better known as the hunchback of notre dame) (proshot w/ english subs)

also obviously can’t make a french musicals list without roméo et juliette (2001 proshot) (2010 proshot [my favorite])

they’re not all entirely rock but i highly recommend all of them :)

if anyone who sees this has any other recommendations please add on!!!

[kairospy]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @moondal514 (im a bit late my bad)

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

4

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

37,248

3. What fandoms do you write for?

All for the Game is my bread and butter, but i did write one for the Marauders

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

it takes two(but you and i are one) (AFTG / 13.6K) - the dynamic between neil, abram and nathaniel, delving a bit into the DSM-V because i am pedantic and a psych student

the ticking of a heart (AFTG / 5.3K) - andreil after a bad episode. hurt/comfort

genesis' wane (AFTG / 9.5K) - the twinyards

Owl Light (Marauders / 8.6K) - wolfstar with background jegulus but using fancy words

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do!!! i respond 99% of the time mostly because getting them makes my day (and week) so i should let the commenter know that

them: "really liked this!"

me: "hey just letting you know you made my fucking year and im no longer mentally ill so thanks for that" :)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

pf… Owl Light or it takes two

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the ticking of a heart starts gut-wrenching but ends rather fluffy? so that one.

god i really have to post more

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i've gotten a "critique" and a bookmarks rating that's since been deleted. i would've been offended hadn't i found it funny

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i… could? the thing is my writing's very much all nonsensical flowery prose and metaphors so i fear i'd get lost in the dramatics of it all instead of actually describing that they're fucking

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i do not (yet?)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had art stolen (posted without credit) but not a fic

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had many suggestions but i've yet to take someone up on the offer mostly because it would feel like having someone do a job for free and morally that feels a bit wrong

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

lord knows we've tried @butallmystars

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Andreil takes the cake and gold, silver goes to probably jerejean (because it's my current hyperfixation), and bronze to jegulus…maybe? (the fandom has made me resent them so much perhaps i should take the medal away)

honorary mentions go to wolfstar, jily & drarry

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

…yes

16. What are your writing strengths?

um flowery depictions of the mundane? idk i like talking like a thesaurus while getting my point across with excessive metaphors

That and characterization judging by what others have told me

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

plot

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

if you know that language or have a way to fact check it with someone other than google and the demon you accidentally summoned writing that gibberish, yes. 100%

otherwise, i'd say to use things like "he said in french" / "he muttered something in undecipherable german" if it's from the pov of someone who doesn't know the language

BUT do as you please, at the end of the day the point comes across, we're all here to have a good time not a long time, and people who don't know the language find it compelling :)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

…next question?

(on ao3 it was AFTG)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

probably it takes two (but you and i are one) but i honestly forget what they're about once i've posted them

No pressure tagging (apologies if you’ve already done this I haven’t been keeping track ): @butallmystars (suffer with me evelyn) & @soliloquy-dawn

[iknaenmal]

tell me about ur new hyperfixation babe

YES THANK YOU OH MY GOD

OKAY. OKAY LETS SEE

theres. well theres this baby who is satans son. and theres also crowley everyone say hi crowley. okay so theres also two demons and actually you know what ill talk about crowley and aziraphale sorry i have been thinkijg about them nonstop for the past four days.

OKAY LETS SEE. (this time for real) crowley and aziraphale have been best friends for like. 6000 years i think? well. more like "best friends" with quotation marks idk if you get what i mean. like uhh off the top of my head i can remember two scenarios. one time aziraphale was. i dont remember where probably england ig. and he said ohh id love to eat some crepes!!!! and he went to paris bc apparently the only good crepes are made there. i think i should also mention that the french revolution was happening then. and so aziraphale went there all dapper and . well french people were decapitating members of nobility and they thought aziraphale looked a lot like an aristocrat. so they caught him and were going to decapitate him but then crowley appeared and saved him. i just mainly thought the crepes thing was funny tbh

AND THEN THE OTHER THING I REMEMBER. well there was a church. and. okay there were a lot of things happening there lets see. i honestlt dont remember exactly what was happening there but umm. aziraphale was hired by some guys to get all the prophetic books he could find including the. the nice and accurate prophecies of agnes nutter which he couldnt find. so turns out those two guys were actually umm. members of a mafia iirc? probably not but something like that. and they well they threatened to kill him for some reason. but aziraphale had been working with some random woman who came to help him. but turns out the woman was also a member of the midnight crew mafia and threatened to kill him as well. oh how the turn tables. BUT suddenly crowley appeared and was walking in quite a goofy manner bc the uhh. christian power of the church burned his feet or something. so well he introduced to the mafia guys and then he said oh yeah btw theres a missile coming right here and the guys were like wtf are you talking about they were gonna throw it somewhere else and oh rhis is confusing let me use quotation marks. so crowley said "yeah it would be very unlucky if it was thrown here. wink wink" and they were like "ummm i dont think what youre saying is true" and crowley said "ok i dont really care. also if the missile was thrown here my good friend aziraphale and i would die as well isnt that fun. we would need a miracle to survive to that. wink wink" so suddenly there was a missile and it exploded but crowley and aziraphale survived. bc of a miracle. probably bc aziraphale is an angel and can do that kinda stuff. and aziraphale is v thankful of that but then remembers the books which were rly important bc they were the first editions of those books. and crowley pulled out the suitcase the books were in from under a boulder and gave it to aziraphale. romantic music starts as aziraphale watches crowley walk away. flutters my eyelashes and i let out a dreamy sigh

Ok im gonna cut it here bc this is rly long but i think its pretty clear that im normal about them. completely normal

[caruliaa]

do u have a favorite carmen sandiego episode. or top five maybe .

THATS A VERY GOOD QUESTION and its one that idk the answer to rly lol bc i love sm eps idk currently what my fave is i think once im done w csweekly and have rewatched the whole show tht will give me a better sense of which ep is my fave overall but as for top five id say of the top of my head (so not set in stone cld v much change later lol) and in no paticular order: the chasing paper caper, the french connection caper, the daisho caper, the fashionista caper, and the stockholm syndrome caper