#idk if that makes sense.
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And keep on dreaming ☪︎⋆ ˚✩ ⋆。˚
#my art#original art#my sona#my persona#oc#original character#art#Guess who is the birthday...kid(?#it's me!yay I'm old#not that old but still old.#I will eat pizza and vibe today so that's like#awesome and poggers and best day ever or something like that✌#Also this is like#very self indulgent art lol#kinda spacey with shiny lights#my sona is there#the earth is there for some reason too#but it's all very funky with things I like#Idk if that makes sense.#bright lights#bright colours#tell me if i need to tag anything else!
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it came to my realization that 99% of my fandom related headaches would be cured if everyone understood this
#making this at 2 am was like top 10 autism moment for me#this is helping me make sense of so many things hopefully it helps someone else too idk#user macdenlover drops badly drawn infographic media literacy rates skyrocket theres world peace#anyways#for sunny 1.5 is the sweet spot for me. a sexy medium rare if u will#but it completely depends on the piece of media#with supernatural i was a 2.5 on a good day.
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hm how do I explain this feeling without sounding gross. So my mother is fucking ugly she looks miserable. N for some reason I got angry cuz I remembered thinking at one point in time my mom is beautiful ig not really but you get the point. I remember when my bf told me about this mother who lost her child. when the mother looked at her dead kid she cried and proceeded to feel that mother instinct to like have her baby suckle on her breast. Feeding them. Tending to her baby. That kid died when she was a teenager btw. I had that feeling ig. The other way around.. Like a baby.. looking at her just makes me angry n then sad n then angry lol because well. she's not even a mother to me. Why am I getting upset why am I looking for food from someone who would rather leave me to starve and cry in the crib ig.
#droid#idk if that makes sense.#idk. i know everyone has terrible parents. but jts seriously deally hard to think when my parents were parents. i cant remember anything#good about them. specifically my mother. my father there is nothing to say about him that is good/redeemable he is a pedophile.#i want him to suffer my mother as well
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I don’t want a gender anymore…. I just wanna exist and not be negatively perceived no matter how I choose to present. I miss when I was a kid and it wasn’t about if you were a boy or girl or anything else we were just vibing together having fun.
#idk if that makes sense.#like I know I want top surgery and I’m technically transmasc but I just don’t get gender.#like I wanna me feminine in the way a cis male is not just seen as a girl.
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cut it out with till death do us part. i will find you in this life and reality and the next one and the next one and the next one
#ive been thinking about being in love with a ghost. has the ghost been waiting all this time? do you keep the ghost there? if the ghost#leaves first youre left alone.. but the ghost left life first and has been alone all this time....#idk if im making sense....#🌬️
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William Afton has top tier FNAF parenting skills
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#willaim afton#henry emily#dave afton#david afton#cc fnaf#evan afton#afton family#fredbear#fnaf survival logbook#fnaf 4#HUGE day for cc enjoyers#idk if yall seen Hyper Droids theory on CCs actual name#seeing a lot of the names was a stretch of how they were found etc#I think it checks out BAHA#I’m usually hesitant to use any name for cc outside of cc#but I think Dave/David makes sense#it especially fits better with his siblings names#Michael Elizabeth and David#I can’t believe William forgot his own sons name ohh noo#top tier parenting grade A for will#but least cc is use to being called the wrong things#sorry lil man we didn’t figure this out for so long#I’m so glad I can call him by a name now over CC though 🩵
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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??
As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue
the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD
He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.
like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...
The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"
and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it
does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING
like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow
For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat
Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation
Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with
Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)
But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time
Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell
Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch
idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room
#hazbin spoilers#hazbin hotel#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#analysis#dissociation#look idk what to tell you all#I watched the episode and everything makes so much more sense#when you realize he's only intaking like 50-60% of the conversations#he's not bad at listening his brain is literally preventing him from getting everything#literally I've been there#the difference between him and me tho#is that he can't show it#he's the king of hell#he has to bluff his way through conversations#but yeah literally rewatch the episode with this in mind#and watch him reply to the things he DID catch#anyways#NEW BLORBO????#who'd've thought I would go into Hazbin Hotel#and come out with freaking LUCIFER as my favorite character#I love him#he's so sad
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Jason Todd's pain tolerance and responses
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new official illust of them with puppies healed something in me
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugisaki#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#file name pupys btw bc they r all. pupys#6 pupys in this image#cries eternally u kno the cruel thing is there is no winning fr me when it comes 2 creating art fr this series#i draw them in canon situations i experience pain i draw them in noncanon Relaxed situations i experience pain#illusion of choice.....#regardless i care them so much i would MUCH rather them b in a sunny field with dogs#i will endure the bittersweet feeling of being an audience member n knowing that their reality is nowhere this tranquil#i can dream :'< i can draw :'<#anyway this took a billion years bc i made megumi stand smh#he didnt fight or anything but th overall Composition ws a bit harder 2 navigate because of it#smth smth sizing smth smth planes idk i cant draw#i think it makes sense tho! nobara/yuuji sitting chilling casually rolling a tennis ball fr their puppies#meanwhile megumi Actively trying 2 train his#head in hands god im MISERABLE#anyway this will b available as a print per request if any1 wants 2 b miserable with me
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omg harrow pay attention to your gf for once
#idk does it make sense#i cant draw#college genius x hot barista au etc etc#tlt#gideon the ninth#ntn#griddlehark#gideon nav#gideon the 9th#harrow#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrowhark#harrow the ninth#harrow nonagesimus#harrow the 9th#privodoro#privodoro art#harrowhark the ninth#my art#clip studio paint#digital art#digital illustration#tlt fanart#gtn#locked tomb#tlt art#tlt au#htn#htn fanart
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i guess my main problem with those "do you actually like xyz or do you just want abc" posts is not that they're boring attempts at psychoanalysis, though they are. my main problem is the "or". they're not asking if you like xyz because of abc. they're presenting it as if having a reason to desire something somehow negates the desire itself. as if you actually want abc and your desire for xyz is just a misguided attempt to get it. "you don't actually want to engage in hard kink, you just want someone to love you. you're completely normal and once your desire to be loved is fulfilled you'll stop wanting this hard kink thing. i have to imagine it this way because if i accept that sometimes people just want this taboo thing for no discernible reason or a different reason than the milquetoast one i projected onto them, i'll have to reevaluate how i think about desire and sexuality" maybe i'm being dramatic but that is the underlying tone of a lot of them to me
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There’s something terribly poetic in the inevitability of events in EPIC. The choices Odysseus is given lead to no win situations. They aren’t really choices at all.
Kill a foe’s child or witness the death of your own. Sacrifice six men or sacrifice them all. Allow your crew to starve or watch as they slaughter sacred cattle.
Sacrifice your friends, your brothers, or give up your last chance at reaching home.
In the end, the result is always the same. He destroys himself
#something something ‘what’s a title that a goddess could give if I never sleep at night?’#this man is haunted#and ever choice he makes#every path he walks down is making it worse#he’s the nice guy and people die#he’s the monster and he loses everyone#trin rambles#epic the musical#epic the thunder saga#thunder saga spoilers#idk if this makes sense#I really need to go to bed#I keep saying that
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12yo me would've loved these wolves
#idk i like pen drawings sometimes they feel like less commitment#this is all digital but i avoided erasing stuff for that reason#i know it sounds counter intuitive but it makes sense. to me. i slept 4 hours today#pearlescentmoon#my art#trafficblr#double life smp
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I don't think the fandom talks enough about how traumatizing the mines of Moria must've been for the hobbits.
And I'm not referring to Gandalf's death (this is actually quite discussed), that's "oh no, they've killed grandpa".
I'm talking about the members of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield they've found dead. The hobbits grew up listening to the tales of their adventure and their extraordinary deeds.
That's "fuck they've killed the Avengers".
#idk if you get what I mean#idk if this makes sense#the lord of the rings#the hobbit#lord of the rings#mines of moria#gandalf#hobbit#the hobbit ori#the hobbit oin#the hobbit balin#merry brandybuck#pippin took#samwise gamgee#frodo baggins#khazad dûm#khazad dum
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king and harbinger, old and young
#hi sorry i havent been animating much cuz. i didnt fucking want to#i have my major work animations to work on so its kind of. drained the fun out of it#but this doctor who audio killed me the fuck dead so uh here#spoop combining his interests again…. who woulda thunk….#lmk#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid fanart#monkie kid#monkie kid fanart#lmk fanart#lmk mk#lmk sun wukong#sun wukong#qi xiaotian#qi xiaotian fanart#honestly this is less of a father/son thing and more just. kinship. if that makes sense#they are alike and wukong takes a sort of refuge in that he is not the only one out there#idk how to explain it ahsbdbjdf#also in my head this is set before mk is left at pigsy’s doorstep. idk man idk
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i think the thing about like, the typical Cishet Anime Dude Horny is that its incredibly shallow. and so when that type of horny gets applied to something it sort of... raises whatever it touches to the same shallow depth. you see it most plainly in female characters getting reduced to cookie cutter archetypes, the exact same "big titty, small waist, big ass, vacant stare" look that they give to any woman they wanna fuck regardless of who she is or what she actually looks like. and you can also see it in how they reduce men to Chads Who Fuck and Virgins Who Don't (there are people out there who self-insert into Jaune RWBY as some megachad who fucks hard, which i think illustrates the absurdity of this shallowness)
contrast something like dungeon meshi, which is INCREDIBLY horny, but with a huge amount of depth. dungeon meshi asks - isnt it hot, to consume, and to be consumed? here's a hundred different ways that its hot. isnt it beautiful? isnt it horrifying? isnt it loving?
the story as a whole wouldnt work if it wasnt deeply horny for eating, and none of the characters would be the same if that horniness was taken from them. its about the depth of it. without depth of horny, it wouldnt be half as good
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