#idk if its my brain slowing down or that after working for 10+ hours i cant function and i shouldnt hold myself to unreasonable standards

[ammaterasu]

"we should've played this when we were in uni before our brain cells died"

[abiiors]

i either have one of two experiences:

one. things start to slow down. not in a weird ethereal other worldly way, you barely even notice it, its like when you're rushing around outside and then you finally come home and close the door behind you and its quiet and you sit down with a cup of tea. a slow relaxation of your brain and body. then it turns into getting slightly spacey and dreamy. usually i know i'm high when i start intently watching the smoke curl off the end of the blunt. sometimes my brain tickles. sometimes i start to get giggly. then i just start to get sleepy. my eyes get heavier. my thoughts retreat into my head and im less aware of what is going on around me. its easy to just stare at the tv and watch, or stare at nothing, and not get bored or distracted. usually like an hour or so after this i fall asleep.

two. i have too much weed. i usually know i've done it cos i'm coughing and spluttering and inhaled too fast. then things start to get spacey very fast and i feel out of control and immediately panic rushes through my body, like physical heat. the first time this happens i slid down a wall and the whole room felt like it was spinning. the second time i closed my eyes then i felt like I was spinning. Usually i'll start to panic that something is definitely wrong with me. i'm never going to return to normal and have once started picturing myself being rushed to hospital and being operated on. at this point it's almost like your thoughts jump from place to place with no rhyme or reason and know this is happening panics me in itself. i have once thrown up from the spinning sensation and felt like periods of time were blacked out. this has only happened once but 10/10 do not recommend.

i think with weed a lot of people experience it differently. my bf genuinely gets energy from it and does loads of creative work where as i'm ready to fall asleep any minute. but yeah. thats my experience haha.

that is so interesting to me, like the first bit almost had me convinced that i should try it and then the second part had me going no absolutely not haha.

idk i'm irrationally scared of trying it and feeling not in control of my body anymore that's all

thank you so much, mwah <33

[katastrophic-n3vulaa]

I prefer traditional drawing because im shit at digital, but im learning (slowly)

13 years!

I've been taking classes every wednesday for 11 years.

the closest thing i have to an art blog is this. i don't post a lot though, because i am mostly getting back into drawing after a slump and using references (and i forgot where i got them from and i REFUSE to not credit my reference)

i love drawing people :D

backgrounds. or landscapes. i dont like em. or fabric, whilst im talking about things i dont like drawing.

the majority of my drawings i use references for, but as i said in q.4, i need to get better at remembering where i got my references from so i can credit.

i'd be very happy to draw professionally, but i don't. i do commissions when asked, though

on an average day, i spend about an hour, depending on work levels and my adhd and i getting along.

confident? no. trying to be confident as i improve? slowly.

at least 15, im not sure

yeah!! please ask me. i like talking about my art.

i love drawing things for other people, as long as its something i'm good at so i know i wont let them down.

i want to collaborate with others, but idk how to start it.

to finish an actual artwork: >10 hours, to do a sketch: 0.5-2 hours, and finished works imma throw in the bin: 1-2 hours.

I draw more than i used too, but i have less time to do it.

Depends on what they're asking about and whether they're willing to listen, if i give them art advice.

i'm working on fabric/textures when im doing my hyperrealistic WIP, and aside from that, poses and perspective with people.

The thing that i find hardest is textures. the highlights in fabric, etc. for digital art, i'm just trying to get used to it lol.

people! i like people. i'm good at people, so it's easy: i like doing busts because i dont always have to do fabric for that.

I do like to challenge myself! if i find it challenging, that's good! it means i can improve.

improving steadily? nope. improving slowly over time? i really hope so!

i do more fanart at the moment. it's more fun and easier to do as i deal with stress and creative blocks.

i do feel... jealous isn't the right word. i wish i could do it? i had the skills? so yeah, a little bit jealous, but moreso admiring.

i draw both listening to music and in silence, but i like talking to people when i draw.

i'm not technically a digital artist, but i'm trying to learn (slowly) and i use procreate and i'm planning to get... i think it's called IbisPaint. I dont remember.

again, i dont think i count here because i'm still learning, but as i learn sketches and then line art then base colours then shading then rendering, i use about 10< layers? it's a dramatic change from traditional art, so it's slow-going.

oh... it's hard to choose, but i would say my favourite medium(s) are graphite/lead pencils and charcoals. watercolours+coloured pencils are also fun though.

When i start a new piece, i make sure that whatever i'm doing it on can fit the scaled up version of the reference. then guidelines, then movement lines, then planning circles/anatomy.

I think it's the drive to create that makes me a better artist. that, and i get more dopamine from my dopamine-starved ADHD brain when i actually like something i've made.

Artist Asks!

Do you prefer traditional drawing, or digital?

How long have you been drawing?

How many classes have you taken?

Do you have a DeviantArt, personal website, or art blog?

What’s your favorite thing to draw?

What’s your least favorite thing to draw?

How often do you use references?

Do you draw professionally, or just for fun?

How much time do you spend drawing on an average day?

Are you confident about your art?

How many art-related blogs do you follow?

Is it okay for people to ask you about your process?

Do you prefer to keep your art personal, or do you like drawing things for other people?

Do you ever collaborate with others?

How long does an average piece take you to complete?

Do you draw more today than you did in the past, or do you draw less?

Do you think you’re justified in giving other people art advice?

What are you currently trying to improve on?

What is the most difficult thing for you to draw?

What is the easiest thing for you to draw?

Do you like to challenge yourself?

Are you confident that you’re improving steadily?

Do you draw more fanart, or more original art?

Do you feel jealous when you see other people’s art, or inspired? (Be honest!)

Do you like to draw in silence, or with music?

For digital artists: what program(s) do you use?

For digital artists: how many layers does a typical piece require?

For traditional artists: what medium do you like most? (Pencil, charcoals, etc)

For traditional artists: How do you usually start on a big piece? (Light sketch, colored lead, sketchpaper, etc)

What inspires you to not just make art, but to be a better artist?

[bakugou-jpg]

Cherry wine || Single dad!Tsukishima

So hello! This is something i’ve been planning on posting for awhile now. Idk if i like it or not and Tsukishima might be a bit OOC since i haven’t been in the Haikyuu fandom for very long but oh well. Tomorrow i’ll try and post the masterlist for it and how many chapters it’ll have!

-Prologue-

“I’m pregnant”

The silence that fell over the room became deafening, not a single sound except for the distant students outside of the dorm building chatting and laughing together. The fan in the corner of the room buzzed, rotating left and right and rustling some papers on the desk. The wind softly blew through his hair, making the heat more bearable than it was before but at that very moment his thoughts and gone completely blank.

The girl in front of him leaned onto the desk that was placed behind her and knitted her eyebrows together, not in anger but purely because she had been lost in thought. Her arms were crossed and she looked at the boy's feet, biting her bottom lip while doing so.

To say it was a shock, was simply too lightly. I mean, yes, the two of them hadn't exactly done much to prevent it that night so it had been quite the possibility but it had never crossed his mind. She was pregnant, something he did. The clumb of cells that was currently busy forming into a little human was because of him.

"Tsukishima"

Tsukishima's head snapped up and for a moment his eyes widened slightly. They held eye contact for a moment, neither of them breaking it. They were both, confused. Neither of them knowing what to do know and neither of them knowing what to say.

The boy adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. He folded his hands together and fiddled around with them, something he unconciously did when he was nervous. "..Oh"

Its all he could think of at that moment. Tsukishima,  a man who always knew how to respond to whatever situation with either a logic answer or a cocky remark now felt silent. He was a rational person, but now it seemed that his brain short circuited.

The girl sighed, her eyes falling down to the ground once again. She moved one of her hands to rub over her face and then started biting her thumb nail. "I found out on Sunday. I..wanted to think about it myself a bit first. Hope you understand" She said, her voice trailing off.

Tsukishima nodded. "Of course."

Another silence.

There was one question he was dying to ask, of course, the most obvious one. He was a strong believer of the belief that it was her body and her choice and that he didn't have ANY saying in what she wanted to do, but he was still curious. At that moment he didn't even know which decision he wanted or preferred. Would it be bad if he asked? Or was it too soon?

"What do you- " "I-"

They both fell silent, not wanting to interrupt one another. Tsukishima excused himself and nodded towards her. "Sorry, go on".

The girl in front of her looked a little anxious and bit her lip before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes to calm her nerves. She breathed out and locked eyes with the boy standing in front of her. "I've thought about it..and decided what choice i wanted to make and i hope you can support me in that."

Tsukishima quickly nodded and waved his hand. "Your body your choice. Whatever decision you make i will respect it so do not rely on my approval" He said, something which made her worried expression relax. It felt as if there had bee a weight lifted off of her shoulders.

She nodded, letting her eyes roam around the room for a second trying to figure out how to put it into words.

"For the longest time i've planned out what i wanted to do with my life, with my future. Go to college, study to become an archeologist and become succesful and travel around..A baby can't fit into that plan, not yet."

Understandable. Tsukishima understood what she meant, for he too had a plan of what he wanted to do in the future. Work in a museum, it was something that he loved the idea of ever since he was a kid. She wanted to become something bigger, so of course a baby would only get in the way.

She cleared her throat and fiddled her hands. "I do, however, want to give it a chance of being able to live. For him or her to find out what joys life can gift to you and how wonderful the world can be..So i'm going to give them up for adop-"

"I'll raise them"

What.

The girl's eyes widened and she looked at Tsukishima in shock.

Tsukishima pushed himself off of the wall and looked at her for a second before taking a step closer to her. "I'll take responsibility and raise them."

What was he saying?

The girl blinked in surprise, her mouth slightly agape from the sudden response one that she had not expected in a million years. Tsukishima's eyebrows were slightly knitted, something which showed he was dear serious over this. "..please"

Why was he saying this?

The girl snapped out of her daze and ran her fingers through her hair, her other hand cupping her still flat stomach. "I-..Wh- Tsukishima..are you serious?" She asked in disbelieve, still taken aback from the reaction. "With all due respect, Tsukishima, but i really hope you understand i am not planning on raising this baby alongside you nor am i planning to hop in at a later age. I just-"

"I don't care for that. You won't have to be involved in any way, i'll make my own money, buy my own two bedroom apartment, raise my own kid. I'll work it out, if you want i'll cover half of all your medical bills" Tsukishima said while leaning back again, looking at her with his usual stoic expression again. Yet, his golden brown eyes held a mixture of confusion and fear. But that was something she would never be able to catch onto.

God what the fuck was he saying

The girl sighed and shook her head a little, trying to wrap her head around what was happening. "I mean..Medical bills won't be a problem, my family's wealthy enough to be able to cover that without a problem..I just..I thought you were passionate about this college course and wanting to succeed? Its not some kind of puppy you raise, can leave at home for the day and to come back at the end of the day and feed it and sometimes throw a stick around, Tsuki-"

"Do i look like an idiot to you?" Tsukishima said with narrowed eyebrows, tapping his finger on his other arm impatiently. Surely, he fooled around with her, but Tsukishima couldn't stand the way she thought she was better and smarter than him.

The girl rolled her eyes and sighed. "You know what i mean" She snapped back. "Its gonna be a big responsibility, its gonna get in the way of you making it big out there."

Once again, a silence fell over the dorm.

Tsukishima's thoughts were screaming at him. Telling him this decision was an impulsive one, how he had to think it through first and asking him over and over again what he was thinking. He knitted his eyebrows together and stared at the ground, slowly nodding.

"I know what i'm doing"

No he did not

The girl nodded and shrugged, her eyes glancing to the clock hanging on his wall. She looked back at Tsukishima and hummed, pushing herself off of the desk. "Well, okay then. I've got class in ten minutes, we'll discuss the details later on. Take care" She said, pushing herself off of the desk. Her hand reached out for Tsukishima's shoulder and gave it a small squeeze, something which made Tsukishima just the slightest bit uncomfortable.

He didn't even say anything, simply too caught up with the sea of a void that suddenly washed over him. It numbed all of his thoughts, all of his surroundings as the thumping of his own heartbeat echoed in his ear.

The click of his dorm room falling back into its lock flew past him, not even having noticed the girl had left. Tsukishima stood there for about 10 minutes until he was pulled back to the surface, something which made him fall back onto his bed. He put his elbows on his knees, his hands raking through his hair as he looked at his ground with slightly panicked eyes.

He let out a long sigh, his hand running over his face as he threw his head back and leaned it against the wall. It was already dark, the only people outside being the ones going to their night classes. It was cold, after all it was October and the weather hadn't been exactly the nicest out.

Tsukishima glanced out of his window, his eyes following the form of the girl who was just left his dorm and was now running outside to arrive at her class in time. His eyes were locked onto her until she had turned a corner, now out of sight.

What did he just agree to?

He let his eyes slowly slide down from his window to his bed, a place where his phone was resting. Without really thinking about it, he reached out for the phone, pressing a few buttons before bringing it up to his ear.

"..Tadashi? I..i fucked up"

Nine months felt a lot longer than it usually did. While a school year usually felt like it flew by rather quickly to Tsukishima, these past few months felt like as if there was a chain with a heavy ball chained to his ankles. Every minute, every second felt like it took forever.

As the trees lost their leaves, the snow covered the ground. As the snow melted away, the flowers started blooming again. As the flowers grew higher, the temperature did too. With every transmission, Tsukishima's feet grew heavier and heavier. It all lead up to that one moment. One moment that would change his life forever, a moment he'd remember till' the day he'd die.

As the seconds ticked by, they turned into minutes. As the small hand of the clock moved forward made a full circle, the hours started moving by. Slow, very slowly. Tsukishima lost sense of time, sitting in that chair waiting for someone to give him a sign and to inform him of the slightest bit of news. Anything.

His thoughts even stopped at some point. Surely he was panicking internally and the fact that his phone kept buzzing in his pocket, his family and Yamaguchi repeatedly asking him how it was going, didn't make it any better. Hell, the fact Yamaguchi managed to leak the information to his old teammates didn't soothen the buzz in his pockets at all. But he just stared at a wall.

The ticking of the clock, the water that dripped from the tap, the foot steps from the nurses, the distant screams of agony and the phone that rang every 15 minutes in the nurses office started to feel like a pattern. A never ending pattern that had repeated itself almost a million times already.

"Mr. Tsukishima?"

Fuck

Tsukishima's head snapped up and his eyes met the one of an older woman who was wearing a long blue cover up and a mask hanging next to the side of her head. She wore a smile on her face, a tired one, but a happy one. She had discarded the gloves she wore and Tsukishima noticed some light blood smears on the gown she was wearing.

"He's here"

He

In the past 9 months that had passed, Tsukishima had never thought that his feet could feel more heavier. But in that moment it felt as if Medusa herself had locked eyes with him and stared into his golden brown eyes, drinking in his beauty before stiffening his body and turning it into stone.

He didn't notice how his lanky long body had gotten up from the chair he had been sitting at for the past few hours and how he was now silently walking behind the doctor, following in her footsteps as she lead him to a room.

"The mother told me to inform you she didn't want to see your son and that she'd appreciate it if you stayed away for a little while" The nurse said while holding the door for him open.

His son

Tsukishima looked around the room, noticing how extremely empty and silent it was. The beds that were there were empty, waiting for a new patient to arrive. The blind were closed, but it let the slightest bit of light through cascading down onto to the little bin standing in the middle of it, surrounded by two other nurses that were busy with what was inside of it.

The two nurses looked up at him and smiled, one of them walking towards the exit of the room while the other reached out for the bundle of blankets inside of the little bed. She picked it up, stepping towards Tsukishima with a very kind small. One he didn't notice, for his eyes were only focused on the very small baby she held in her hands. "Meet your son" She said while holding the baby out for him, adjusting his hands just slightly so he'd make the baby feel comfortable.

He held out his hands, taking the bundle of blankets into his arms and immediately holding him close to his body. Tsukishima made sure to support his head, remembering all the things he read in a book his mother gifted him after having announced the news. He wouldn't dare to cause the baby any discomfort, it felt as if he was made out of the thinnest porcelain in the world.

"We'll give you a moment, we'll be next door if u need us" Tsukishima heard the older nurse say before the door shut behind her, leaving both him and his son alone in the room.

The baby slightly moved around in his blanket, one of his tiny arms poking through and stretching out towards Tsukishima's face before returning back into the comfort of his warm cocoon. A small yawn left the baby's mouth, a sight that made Tsukishima's eyes soften.

"Someone's pretty tired, huh? Nine months of sleep ain't enough for you, buddy?" He whispered, peering into the little eyes that were slowly opening up revealing a very familar pair of golden brown ones although his appeared to be just a bit more darker. It also didn't Tsukishima long before he noticed the dark blonde hairs poking out of his hat, ones that almost matched his own but just being a shade darker than his own.

He grinned and stroked the baby's cheek, taking in every detail of his face. "Aren't you just a sight for sore eyes, like i'm looking into a mirror." Tsukishima said with a short snicker.

In that very moment, Tsukishima felt his feet get lighter. The heavy chain on his feet he carried around for months that got heavier and heavier broke, just by the single stare the boy had on him. He didn't care anymore, about what he was gonna do in the future. He didn't care about if he'd still be able to finish college or if he was gonna be able to pull through.

Every thing he did, was gonna be for him. Every decision he made, was gonna be with him in the back of his mind. Every thing decent nice thing he did, he did hoping he could be somewhat proud of his old man.

And so, from 7 years from that moment, on Tsukishima was going to have a succesful career. One he had achieved after graduating from college, something he couldn't of have done without the motivation he had after his son was born and he was going to make sure his son was always first with whatever he did.

"Welcome to the world, Kaoru"

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (ch 17)

Chapter 17

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11, ch 12, ch 13, ch 14, ch 15, ch 16, ch 17

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 3,171

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France, human trafficking

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​ @zobadak​ @fallenstar-7​​​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing…

(I am sorry this is late in the day. Enjoy🙂)

(also, give this a listen: “To my Hope” (Spotify))

The dance studio was empty, as expected this time of day. Hoseok stepped inside and set his boombox down at the back of the room. The cassette tape he pulled out of his coat pocket had a strip of tape on the front, the words “To my Hope” written on it in marker. In his other pocket was a cassette with “To my Sunshine” written on it, which he zipped closed. Hoseok smiled and loaded the tape into the deck, pressing play before standing up. “Friday I’m In Love” by The Cure filled the studio. He warmed up in front of the mirror, stretching his arms over his head and rolling his neck. He quickly stretched his legs and ankles, then started dancing. He let the music move him, popping and gliding across the floor. “P.Y.T.” by Michael Jackson came on next.

               This one was much more suited to Hoseok’s style. He smiled as his freestyle adjusted to the more upbeat funk. She was supposed to get out of class any minute, but there was no harm in warming up before she arrived.

               Hoseok tried to jump into a flip he saw once in a music video, but rolled out of it. He tried again. He knew he could do it. With his next jump, he nailed the flip, landing with a giddy cheer.

               “Poison” by Bell Biv DeVoe came on next. Hoseok nailed the flip a few more times, letting his experimental dance flow into “Let the Beat Hit ‘Em” by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam.

               The studio door opened and Hoseok stopped dancing. With a glance at the door, he let a smile take over his face. She was wearing a short floral dress, a black choker, and his oversized flannel shirt. Her strawberry blonde locks looked windswept and tangled. She smiled back at him when she heard what was playing.

               “You’re late,” said Hoseok.

               “Class let out late,” she said. “I see you found your gift.”

               Hoseok smiled even wider, his cheeks hurting. “Yeah, and what a coincidence, because I just so happen to have something for you too.”

               He pulled the other tape out of his pocket and handed it to her. She bit her lip as she looked down at it.

               “I’m listening to it before I go to bed tonight,” she said.

               “And you’ll call me after?” he asked.

               “No,” she laughed, shaking her head. “Because tomorrow is Friday, and I know you don’t work, and I don’t work, so I was thinking I could just show what I think of it then.”

               Hoseok pulled her close by the waist and said, “I can’t wait.”

               “Well, are we gonna dance or what?” she asked.

               “Doo Wap” by Ms. Lauryn Hill was playing now, so they mostly just jammed to the beat. This was how he met Sunny. They were both regulars in the empty studio, loving the space for freestyle sessions. This thing they had going on only just started over the summer.

               They danced and showed off new moves for another hour until they were sweaty and tired. They laid side by side on the floor, listening to “Waterfalls” by TLC. The song ended with a click, and the studio was only filled with the sound of their heavy breathing.

               “I know a lot of those songs aren’t the best to dance to but-“ Sunny began.

               “No, it’s perfect,” Hoseok said. “I love everything on here.”

               She smiled and stood up. Hoseok took the hand that was offered to him and stood up as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~

               “I heard you made her a mixtape and everything,” Drew said. Hoseok took a seat at their picnic table and opened his notebook. It was still sunny and warm in L.A., despite being well into autumn.

               “Well, she made one for me first,” he said.

               “Dude, she’s totally into you,” Drew said, leaning forward. “When are you gonna ask her be your girlfriend?”

               “I don’t think…I mean,” Hoseok struggled.

               “Oh, come on,” said Drew.

               “I just don’t want to rush things,” said Hoseok.

               “I don’t understand what you- oh hey Sunny!” Drew said, waving to someone behind Hoseok.

               Hoseok turned around to see Sunny approaching, three McDonalds bags in her hands. Hoseok’s stomach growled at the sight. He hadn’t eaten for a day or so and it was really getting to him. She dropped herself into the seat next to Hoseok and set the bags onto the table.

               “I brought sustenance,” she said.

               “Oh! Thank you, Sunny!” Hoseok exclaimed as they all dug in. “You’re the best.”

               “Yes, you’re the best Sunny!” Drew said. “You’re just sooo amazing and so sexy!”

               She kicked him under the table, making him yelp. Hoseok almost fell off the seat laughing.

               “So, I was thinking we could all go out tonight,” Sunny said with a mouthful of fries.

               “Go out as in…” Drew said.

               “There’s a new club downtown,” she said. “What do you say boys?”

               “Yes! I miss going out to dance!” said Hoseok. “I’ve been needing a break.”

               “A club is a break?” Drew asked.

               “Yes, Andrew,” Sunny snarked. “It’s fun to let loose once in a while.”

               “You damn extroverts,” Drew said with a wave of a hand. “But yeah, I’ll go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               The music was so loud that Hoseok could feel the beat in his chest; just how he liked it. Drew had settled at the bar, unmoving. After a few shots, Hoseok followed Sunny to the dance floor, which was packed with the bouncing crowd. They pushed their way into the mix, pressing close and letting the music move them. Sunny was in a short tube top under his flannel, her pants hanging low on her hips. She knew she looked good, she moved like she knew. Hoseok looked good too, he was wearing his leather pants tonight, which he knew Sunny was a fan of. She turned around and pressed her back to him, he put his hands on her hips and swayed with her.

               They danced until they were sweaty, then joined Drew at the bar to drink some more.

               “I wanna go home!” Drew shouted over the music.

               “We just got here!” Hoseok said.

               “Come dance with us!” Sunny said. Drew shook his head and held up his drink with a grin on his face.

               Hoseok felt a hand on his back. He turned around to see a beautiful woman with big hair and dark skin. Her full lips pulled into a smile as she sidled closer.

               “Dance with me?” she asked.

Sunny nudged him and grinned. He let the woman lead him out onto the dance floor. Once they were closer and under the flashing lights of the dance floor, Hoseok noticed that her eyes were red.  “Contacts?” he asked. She nodded. “That’s so cool!”

“Come with me!” she said, pulling on his hand. She led him off the dancefloor and into a backroom through a bead curtain. It was a little lounge, a pink sectional couch around the walls and matching chairs. A man and two women sat on the couch, greeting the pair as they came in.

“Have a seat,” the man said, an easygoing smile on his face. He and the two women sitting with him continued their conversation.

Hoseok sat down and the woman he danced with took a seat beside him. She grabbed his face and planted a deep kiss onto his lips. He made a sound of surprise and pushed her off.

“I’m not…I’m really not looking for anyone tonight,” he said.

“Oooh that cute girl out there?” she asked. “The one you were dancing with before?”

Hoseok’s drunk brain caught up with him and he wondered if she was watching him for a while. He nodded.

“Do you guys come here often?” she asked.

“Isn’t this place new?” he asked.

“New management,” she said. “Same place though. I’d like to see you again.”

“I should probably get back to my friends,” he said.

“Sure. I’ll see you around,” she said, watching him leave the lounge.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hoseok walked back to the dorms from work, headphones on, mixtape in his Walkman. “Come on Eileen” by Dexys Midnight Runners filled his head as he danced across the sidewalk. He actually got tipped today so he stopped by the little bodega just outside campus to pick up a few cups of ramen. By the time he made it back to his dorm, “Loser” by Beck was just finishing its last notes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               On Monday, after classes, Hoseok went to the studio. Summer was already there.

               “Hobi! Check it out,” she said. She turned the music up on the boombox and performed the flip he had taught her last week, perfectly.

               “Whoa!” he exclaimed, giving her an applause. “That was perfect! Were you working on that before I got here?”

               “Yeah, I just got it like, a few minutes before you came in,” she said.

               Hoseok took off his coat and joined her on the dancefloor. He felt exhausted two songs in, which was bad. He knew it was because he wasn’t eating enough.

               He pushed through it anyway until he felt lightheaded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               The club was just as packed as it was last time. Sunny pulled him onto the dancefloor. The crowd pushed them together as they swayed to the beat. Drew wasn’t there with them this time. A few drinks in and they were back on the dance floor. Sunny pulled him down for a kiss and Hoseok’s heart beat louder than the music.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “You’re way too skinny,” said Sunny. She was in his dorm, hands up his shirt as he was trying to do his homework.

               “Well, you’re too handsy,” he said. The words on the page he was reading were blurring together. He didn’t feel good today and all of his concentration was being stolen.

               “Oh please,” she said. “You love it.”

               “Well, yes. Usually,” he said. “But I’m trying to do my homework.”

               “What are you working on?” she asked, peeking over his shoulder.

               “English,” he said.

               “Ew,” she said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               The lounge at the back of the bar was stifling. Usually, the loud music and dancing was calming, but today, Hoseok felt like he wanted to crawl out of his skin. Everything was too much. The woman from last time, Jamie as he learned, was sitting across from him.

               “So, if what you’re saying is true, why are you here?” she said.

               Hoseok bit back a grimace as he let out a sigh. “I…I don’t know.”

               “I’m sorry that happened,” she said. “That must have been painful.”

               He didn’t say anything. The image wouldn’t stop popping up in his mind. He had never even seen that guy before. How long was Sunny seeing him? Hoseok thought…

               Well, he’s not sure what he thought. He’s not sure if this year with her meant anything. He’s not sure if anything she did with him over this year meant anything. If anything she’s said meant anything. If he meant anything to her.

               What was he doing here? He supposed he wanted to let off some steam but he ended up just spending all his money at the bar. Looks like he won’t be eating until his next paycheck. Again. Pretty soon, he wouldn’t be able to dance like this.

               “Do you want me to buy you a drink?” Jamie asked.

               “You don’t have to,” he said. “I should probably stop drinking anyway.”

               “I’ll get you a water then,” she said.

~~~~~~~~~~

               His head felt like was going to split open and his stomach felt like it was eating itself. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t even open his eyes. The ground was cold and hard, but he couldn’t remember where he was the night before.

               Eventually, he could move his arms, but if he moved them too much, a wave of nausea washed over him. Panic hit him when he opened his eyes. The room was cement. It was dark but Hoseok could hear water dripping somewhere behind him.

               It took him a long time before he was able to move properly and sit up. There was a mat on the floor beside him and a bucket beside that. He lunged for the bucket just in time. Barely anything came out though, he ended up dry heaving for several minutes.

               Hoseok felt weak, his limbs were heavy and shaking, but he forced himself to drag his body to the wall where he sat with the bucket between his legs. There were pipes running along one wall, one of them dripping into a small puddle below. Next to the pipes was a heavy looking metal door. Besides that, the room was bare.

               He tried to control his breathing before he passed out again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “You need to eat,” the woman said to him. She was pretty, with blonde hair and red lips, but her eyes were red and mean.

               “I can’t,” said Hoseok.

               “You need to,” she said. “We will force feed you if we have to, but I really don’t want to. You don’t want me to either.”

               “I think I’m sick,” he said.

               “Then we’ll get you medicine. You need to eat. You’re too underweight.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “Just hook him up,” the large man said. “We’ll take a little bit at a time for now-“

               “It’ll kill him,” the blonde woman said.

               It’s been days. Hoseok didn’t know what they were talking about, but he was too weak to protest anything.

               “Why isn’t he eating?” the man asked.

               “I think he had a bad reaction to the drugs,” the woman said. The man sighed.

               “Fine, at least get him to eat something for now, we can wait for the drugs to get out of his system,” he said.

               They both left again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Hoseok supposed he was finally at a healthy weight, since he was now hooked up to the IV a few times a week. Or at least it felt like that. Hoseok wasn’t sure what day it was, or what time it was in any given moment. He did know that every time they took his blood, he felt weaker and it took longer to recover.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               After a while, all thoughts of escape flew out the nonexistent window. He was just too tired. All the time. Some days, he could barely move. Those days became more and more frequent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Sometimes, people would come in and drink from his blood bags. Sometimes they would discuss prices. Hoseok didn’t like when they talked about prices, but he didn’t have the energy to do anything about it.

               Everyone who came in always had red eyes. He wasn’t sure if that was a figment of his imagination or not, but it was terrifying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Then one day, he got out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “Someone fucking catch him already!”

               The screaming outside his door made him open his eyes. There seemed to be a lot going on out there; loud crashes and bangs, lots of screaming. His door flew open and a man with crazed, bright red eyes stumbled in. He scurried over to Hoseok and frantically bit into his neck. Hoseok used what little energy he had to try to push the man off, but it was no use. He couldn’t feel his body anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “If he finds out about this, he’s going to be pissed.”

               “Well, he won’t find out. We’ll replace them.”

               “Five? We’ll replace five people in two weeks?”

               “We have to. He’ll kill us if we don’t.”

               Hoseok’s body was on fire. He opened his eyes and looked around. He was in the bed of a moving van, four other bodies laying around him. Some were twitching, some were writhing, one wasn’t moving at all. Hoseok couldn’t move. The pain was too much. It felt like his veins were on fire and his face was being stretched.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               When he woke up again, he was still in pain but no longer in the van. He was in the woods, the four other people from the van lying around him. It took a while, but they all eventually regained their movement around the same time.

               Two of them ran off immediately. The third wandered off in a daze hours later. Hoseok stayed, wondering what the pain was in the back of his throat and in his stomach. He wanted to run and find help, now that he was out, but he didn’t know where he was, how deep in the woods he was. It was cold, colder than it usually got in L.A.. There was even some snow on the ground.

               He was still disoriented. One person was still there with him. She was crying.

               Once the nausea passed and his head stopped spinning, the thirst doubled and his hands started shaking. He was getting frantic, but he didn’t know how to stop it.

               Standing up, he took a look around and picked a direction.

               “Wait, where are you going?” the crying woman asked.

               “I don’t know,” Hoseok said. His voice was rough, foreign to his ears.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               He wandered for what felt like forever.

               The little town he ended up in only made things worse. Everyone smelled way too good. It didn’t take long for him to figure out what it was he was craving, and it was getting harder and harder to resist. There were people everywhere, even in the alleys Hoseok mostly clung to.

               He needed to drink soon. He was getting sicker and sicker and it was getting harder and harder to control himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               The first person he drank from, he ended up killing. She was homeless, living in the same alley he stayed in.

               He was sick about it for weeks, but there wasn’t anything to throw up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               When Hoseok found the hospital, he thought himself a genius. That is, until he had to actually sneak in. There were always people walking around. The hospital never slept, but between two to four am, it was as quiet as it could be.

               Sneaking in was difficult, but it wasn’t something he would have been able to do before. He was stronger and faster than he remembered, and more graceful as a result. Some days, when he wasn’t having constant flashbacks of his cement cell, he felt like he was in a spy movie.

               Taking blood from a blood bank was not ideal, but it was saintly compared to hurting people on the street.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

               He missed his mom and sister.

               He missed school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

               A janitor caught him and called the police. He ran away before the police showed up but he was still hungry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               When Taehyung found him behind the hospital in the next town over, Hoseok thought he was an angel. He was so unearthly beautiful, so kind and gentle. His red eyes were startling, but he offered a place to stay, and a reliable food source of food.

               During the car ride to the mansion, Taehyung turned the radio on. “Waterfalls” by TLC was playing.  

.

.

.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3nm0tRz73YzcTPl8plRsbS?si=37672afb915348b8

[longitud-de-onda]

hello! could you do headcanons for javi and reader where they were fake dating (maybe being undercover or something idk it's up to you!) turned real dating 😊

so first of all, @themandjalorian is already writing a fic very much like this, its very good and you should totally check it out here 

i wrote out a bit of an undercover thing then i wasn’t feeling it, and i remembered the only fanfic i wrote in high school, which was this adorable fake dating thing i never published and it was based on some prompt about a character having been telling their grandparents about this s/o and them actually just being the neighbor, but then the grandparents come visit and want to meet the s/o so i’m going with something similar to that since it was kind of cute. idk how pleased I am with the final product... but it’s cute. 

You had gotten so fed up with your parents asking you if you were dating anyone during your weekly phone calls that one day you burst and said it

“Okay! I’m dating someone! Is that what you wanted to hear? His name’s… Javier”

They were thrilled for you. Their calls started ending with “how’s it going with Javier” and they expected a little tidbit every time. About Javier. Your neighbor with whom you had only shared about 10 words with.

You had a crush on him, admittedly. It was easy to fall for that charming smile you saw strutting around the embassy. And yeah, you lived in the same building, and both worked at the embassy (in very different departments) but that didn’t mean you had a chance to talk with him.

The real danger of describing the fantasy of your relationship with Javier was that as your parents began to believe it, so did you. You saw him in the hallways and your brain was flooded with thoughts of your fantastical relationship.

But you never managed to work up the guts to even say hello to him.

That is, until your parents give you a call saying they’re coming down for two weeks to visit and they want to meet Javier, how about taking the two of you out to dinner the first night? 

And you agree before realizing how bad of an idea it is.

In your panic you go running to Javier’s door because he has to agree or you’re going to have an awkward conversation with your parents.

You practically bang down his door and when he opens it, standing there, one arm on the door, hip popped out, you freeze, speechless.

“What can I do for you?”

“Um…” 

It takes a very long pause for you to squeak out, “I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend.”

He laughs. “Did Steve put you up to this?”

You flush. This was awful. He was laughing in your face.

“No, I—this was stupid I’m sorry. I should have known. You don’t know me at all, and— you know what? Can we just forget this ever happened?”

But when he sees you retreating, looking completely shot down, he feels a little pang of guilt.

“Wait! ...You were being serious? Do you want to come in? Have a drink?”

Your heart soars. He just invited you into his apartment? Of course you say yes.

The story spills out over a glass of whiskey. When you get to the end, carefully replacing the part where you chose his name because of your massive crush with some half-assed lie about how you had seen him in the hallway the day you started the lie and he was the first face that crossed your mind, Javier sits for a good two minutes, the silence almost killing you. 

“Sounds like fun. I’ll do it. ”

Which is not the response you were expecting but you’re grateful and jumping right into giving him all the background information on your pretend relationship and your parents and Javier is just sitting back, smiling and taking it all in.

After an hour you’re both on your second glasses of whiskey and feeling a bit like you had known each other for more than the short time you had actually spoken.

You go home, smiling to yourself, because if you were being perfectly honest the whole thing felt a bit like a date and you had fallen for him a bit more.

You are fucked.

The day your parents arrive comes way too quickly and before you know it you’re sitting at a fancy restaurant, Javier at your side, and he’s lying his ass off about how you two met and you’re utterly confused as to where this Javier came from.

Where was the Javier who slept with another woman every night? The Javier who drank whiskey alone on a work night? The Javier who knew every prostitute in town? The Javier who any parent would hate to have their daughter date? 

This was an entirely different man, one who was inventing a relationship you could only dream of being part of.

The little moments when he touches your arm and smiles so reassuringly, they feel so real.

You thought this would be a good idea and now your stomach is churning at the elaborate lie you’ve woven for your parents, and the one you’ve woven for yourself.

Javi wasn’t in love with you. He hardly even knew you. And he definitely didn’t mean a single word he was saying nor action he was doing.

And it was so much worse as the week went on. 

Your parents asked why you weren’t living together, which was embarrassing enough a question on its own, but only made worse by Javier’s immediate reaction of disgust before covering it up with a cough and an excuse about wanting to take it slow. 

And one night Javier had warned you he had to leave a dinner at your apartment early, and the way he shuffled a bit and didn’t explain why was enough of a clue that he had an informant to meet. 

It was so much worse when he kissed you before leaving. On the lips. Long and much more intimate than you were expecting.

You realize halfway through your parents visit that your feelings had somehow escalated as you got to know Javier more.

You no longer had a little crush on the man. 

You had fallen in love because you had fallen for a lie.

At that point things begin to change. Your gazes become a little bit more real, and your touches linger a little bit longer. 

The day arrives that your parents are leaving and Javier joins you in driving them to the airport. 

His hand is around your waist as you wave the two goodbye. As they disappear into the crowds of the international departures, you don’t know when to let go.

Javi is the first to drop his hand. And the ghost of his touch burns on your side a bit more than it should.

The drive home is silent. It’s not until you get back to the apartment building that you say something.

“What was in it for you?”

He’s silent and you realize how rude that sounds.

“I’m sorry, I just meant—Thank you. Javier. You saved my ass.”

He gets out of the car and you follow him up the stairs. He turns to enter his apartment and you continue on, but he calls your name.

“I did it because it was nice to pretend things were normal for a bit. Working for the DEA, we don’t get nice things like that.”

And as much as it hurts to know it wasn’t about you at all, it hurts more that Javier feels that way. You had learnt enough about him and his work in the past weeks that you know how much of a commitment it is. You just didn’t know how much it took away from someone’s life.

The real pain comes that night when you hear the loud sounds of Javier fucking someone. The ones everyone in the damn complex are familiar with. The ones that feel like a bucket of ice water was dumped on your head, reminding you how not Javier’s you are.

It’s not until work the next week when Javier walks by your desk and catches sight of how dejected you look. It’s not unlike his own appearance, if you were being perfectly honest.

That night you get a knock on the door. You open to Javier who’s got a six-pack of beer.

“I don’t know why you look like you’ve been trampled over but I haven’t had the greatest week ever and honestly you’re the only person I’ve enjoyed spending time with in the past two months so I thought we could maybe cheer each other up?”

You’re so surprised that you step aside, forgetting momentarily that he’s the reason you look like crap.

Three hours later you’ve moved onto some strong liquors, and are tumbling over one another, laughing and telling stories and talking like you’ve known each other for years. 

And suddenly his lips are on yours and you’re kissing back.

You don’t remember much the next morning, but Javi and you are both naked in your bed. It’s not too much of a jump to the conclusion that you slept with each other.

He’s already awake, and you begin the process of kicking him out of bed. And out of your apartment.

“I’m sorry, Javi,” you say, pushing him out of the door. You didn’t want to become another number in his long line of women. But somehow last night didn’t feel like he was just using you.

“Wait. Tell me you didn’t want that?”

“What?”

“Am I reading into things wrong? Or is there something here?”

The change in tone gives you pause. Enough to seriously question everything you thought about Javier.

“...did you want that?” you whisper.

“I think I did—”

“You think?”

“No. I know. I know I did.” He’s staring at you now.

“So did I.” You take a step forward, pressing your lips gently against his.

[rigelmejo]

random thoughts:

i want to do a guardian print novels comparison lol.

i have a simplified edition which in some ways is excellent: it has the kunlun prequel text, all of the extras, the chapters are edited in a way that clearly indicates priest polished it up to make the story ‘better’ (priest changed chapter 1 from Guo Changcheng seeing a random guy with no legs to Zhu Hong’s tail and fainting, adds details to a lot of chapters). The only thing its missing is the explicit sex scene (I think - it might even have it for all i know, but i’m guessing not since that’s usually cut out of simplified print novels i think?). But like in general - my simplified chinese Guardian novel seems to be the most complete version of the novel as far as final edits/extras. This isn’t necessarily the link I bought from, but this is the simplified print version I have (aliexpress does have a lot of priest books for sale).

I just got the traditional character version of the books (which is so beautiful WOW the covers and inside looks so nice). So far, its chapter content is more like the webnovel (so no scene edits/details added like my simplified version, no Kunlun prequel). There are a few edits of wording on small things (suddenly versus abruptly, next/then, that kind of thing). I don’t think it has any of the extras, so its not the original traditional published version with the shen san extra (i thought it was?). So upside is my simplified copy does seem to be the most complete, and the traditional one i have matches the webnovel most if i wanted to compare differences. Downside is i’m surprised the traditional version has so little content? This is the traditional print versions I bought, volume 1 and volume 2. That site can be ordered from in english, worldwide.

feeling the urge to do something with japanese again but i don’t know what. logically, doing nukemarines memrise decks is... probs the most effective thing to do. i don’t feel like doing flashcards though.

i kind of feel like listening to japanese core 6k or japaneseaudiolessons, just because i can just play them in the background (easier mentally than flashcards). maybe reading japanese audio lessons basically textbook - but that’s if i feel like reading? 

also just kind of. feel like playing a video game - maybe kh2 since i know the game well enough i can still ‘speed play’ if i don’t want to slow down and read everything on screen (whereas persona 3 and crisis core took 1 hour to get to save points since i had to slow down and read everything). i read some scripts yesterday in japanese... and watched some shows yesterday (though that hardly counts since they had eng subs). my mind just wants to ‘do’ things, not really do flashcards lol. so like? listening, watching, playing - my brain thinks it sounds fun! but reading lessons/doing flashcard drilling of study materials, i feel tired lol...

i also kind of. just want to do some challenge for myself like: do clozemaster japanese for 1 month and see how much i get through/how much i improve? or do japaneseaudiolessons for 1 month and see how far i get etc.

chinese wise: i officially re-did all 12 chapters of Guardian with Listening Reading Method step 2 with the other audiobook by wheat. Now I’m officially on a new chapter 13, with avenuex’s audiobook, and going back to doing step 2 AND step 3 (for vocab). Again, as SOON as i switch to avenuex its easier to follow what’s going on without looking things up - i think part of it is the way she narrates sort of... slows down and speeds up depending on the emphasis in the sentence? so its easier to catch exactly what’s key info/characters interacting versus description. and also her voices for everyone are more different, and she edited in guardian drama music so a lot of the scenes i bet have some ‘ingrained’ memory from when i watched the show helping me recognize the scene that’s going on. i imagine for ‘comprehensible input’ this version just has a lot more i ‘get.’ also just in general i love her audiobook ToT. 

though wheat’s is really nice! i like wheat’s voice and would love to talk like them. For shadowing, I find wheats is really good because the audio is mainly just voice, and a deeper voice (which i both would rather sound like and find easier to identify the words clearly as far as for repeating), and all an even speaking speed except dialogue - so i can repeat after what wheat says in small phrase bursts without falling behind too much. So for listening in the background, more general listening practice, and for shadowing practice i plan to use wheat’s more. 

while step 3 is more focus intensive, i think doing it once minimizes how many words i have to look up in step 2 and how many times i feel step 2 would benefit me. when i skip step 3 i feel like i could do step 2 for 3-4 times and keep picking up a lot of new words. so to speed up progress, probably just going to do step 3 then step 2 again (or step 2 then 3 we’ll see).

L-R method has really helped my vocab for guardian ToT i have no problem reading the traditional version now. i also have far less trouble reading new chapters for the first time (still have words i need to look up, just its not enough to prevent me from following the main idea and details). I’m really glad I decided to try L-R method with guardian. I’m really excited how this is going to affect reading other priest novels later (or L-R tian ya ke, sha po lang, mo du). Because i can already notice it making Mo Du a bit easier. and i’m only 13 chapters in out of 100+ plus extras. I notice it makes reading and listening skills better. I don’t know about its claim from some of “from A1 to B1″ in 30 hours (which is what someone did with Italian, with some previous romance language study). Because I was probably like a A2 or weak B1 when I started trying this? (Idk I was like HSK4 with a smattering of extra passive knowledge that didn’t line up to HSK 5-6 exactly, so i could read Xiao Wangzi and watch Shan He Ling etc but only knew like half the words on HSK 5-6). So I don’t know if for a beginner, if L-R method for chinese would get them very far, or how many hours it would take. I’d say for a beginner-intermediate learner though, it will boost your listening level quickly (vocab a bit slower but i do notice progress now). And since listening level can fall behind reading, that’s a nice thing. 

I read about someone who’d done L-R for mandarin for 300 hours though with less progress made though and i’m still curious why. Because i’ve done about maybe 30 hours and seen a lot more - idk if just having a base in chinese first helps a lot (like i got the 300+ hours basic learning done before i even tried L-R method and they just need to get through their hours to hit milestones too), or if they do something different. But given that experience, i do think if L-R isn’t giving small noticeable progress at least every 5 hours or so (and reasonably noticeable progress like easier listening comprehension of previously studied chapters or learned some handfuls of new words in 10 hours) then it makes sense to switch it up or try something else. like for me - switching to a literal word for word text using pleco dictation-translate tool has been much more effective. i would guess in part because its word for word so i don’t have to put in mental effort to re-arrange sentence grammar to the words i’m hearing in the audio (but more effort to know chinese grammar so not as helpful as a beginner in some ways unless u understand the story beforehand with step 1 reading the text in a language u understand). and in part because it keeps my translation synced to the audio so i don’t lose my place, can replay portions, and don’t therefore waste time being as mentally drained or confused. and doing step 2 in pleco (or anything with a quick click dictionary) so i can see some definitions with step 2.

still kind of want to just binge the videos on “learn korean in korean” youtube channel. he just makes such good lessons even though i’m not really studying korean. 

also... mmm... korean clozemaster... mmm (i would probably learn nothing because translations do not tend to be literal for many asian languages on there so chinese and japanese only work for me cause i know enough words/grammar already to catch when things are not literal/outright wrong)

[theinternetisafacade]

Tips for ADHD brain. maybe.

put things you need to do thing with within reach of place you need to do thing in. eg toothpaste next to mug next to sink (so you won’t get distracted going to get thing) (also makes it like 10 times less hard to do)

ALARMS/REMINDERS. that stand out. with labels. (eg writing in sharpie on hand)

A thought dump! to dump thoughts so it doesn’t clog up your working memory! which is what this tumblr is for. (although my brain moves so fast it’s hard to capture everything before it just disappears. also frustrating occasionally)

while bored in class play (mindless) games that don’t have time sensitivity (eg 2048, not a platformer). relieves boredom without needing too much concentration. 

fidget toys. that dont require too much thinking/repetitive movements. so half the brain can shut up and focus on it while the other half can focus on doing whatever. (spinning pen is good, but hand gets tired after a while. slinky is hard to get repetitive movements. ball also. fidget spinner too hard to spin mindlessly, and also you need to wait for it to slow down which means it cant really be repetitive. magnets good because can do nice snappy repetitive movements, but can get boring after a while) *note to self: find more fidget toys 

if doing things that require a lot of thinking, get a toy that you can stare at and fiddle with while your brain thinks.

music while doing chore makes chore soooo much easier. takes mind off chore, motivating. but dont procrastinate by dancing lmao. (note: playing out loud might be better than using earphones/headphones because then you won't get distracted by videos or games on your phone)

submusic point: i really like listening to lo-fi music while studying hehe it's not too boring and nit too distracting and also has nice cafe vibes (speaking of studying, i just had the idea to add this onto this list in the middle of studying lol)

maybe? a game like helix jump is good for procrastination/taking breaks because each level is only a few seconds long, plus there are annoying ads you have to WAIT for which makes you go back to whatever you were doing. idk some ideas for taking breaks between work without going down a 4 hour rabbit hole

video calling! (apparently its called body doubling wowow theres an actual name for this) accountability, also when you can feel someone’s presence it’s harder to lose track of time. or to do nothing for 4 hours. (idk, like sometimes i dont do work because i “still have time” or “it doesnt feel right” and then i just let time pass by. video calling takes that away because guess what? time is happening to them too! you can’t just pause time while you do nothing! does that even make sense)

before starting on smt get format/ know exactly what you’re supposed to do lol

doing work in the morning/very late at night is very productive because theres no one you can talk to or distract and theres no one to talk to you or distract you. very good.

[mithranqueersmusings]

Before This Dance Is Through V

Chapter: 5/16

Rating: M (Smut Warning)

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Despite what John had suggested, Ringo didn't go back to The Helter Skelter the following week; he'd considered it when John sent him yet another late night text but ultimately decided it wasn't the best idea. Spike had been playing on his mind daily and Ringo wasn't sure he was prepared to face him again. Instead he focused on his drumming and searched for a few more students to teach, which were fairly easy to find. Usually Ringo enjoyed his time off, he understood he was lucky that he didn't have to work a 9-5 job just to get by, but recently he wanted his fill his time up as much as possible, to distract himself.

One of his new students seemed incredibly interested in him, they'd spent an hour just chatting in his living room before they'd even moved over to the drum kit. Ringo wasn't too fussed, he was getting paid by the hour so wasting time was beneficial to him but he didn't want to give the guy the wrong impression. He was a little bit older and attractive enough but Ringo simply wasn't interested.

"Why didn't you just go for it?" John had asked him when they next met up.

"I dunno..." Ringo mumbled, but a part of him knew very well.

He'd given the guy another lesson since then and it became clear that the guy's interest in him wasn't going away any time soon. Ringo felt bad about the whole thing, wasn't he just doing exactly what Spike was doing to him? He tried to act as professional as possible the second time around in attempt to get the guy to back off, considering he hadn't heard from him since he was hoping it had worked. What was wrong with him? Was he really going to make himself suffer like this all because of one guy? And not just any guy, a stripper who had shown absolutely no interest in him at all. It was ridiculous, he kept telling himself, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had to get over Spike, he would still think about him every day without fail. Trying to distract himself with clients had been working somewhat, but it had been difficult, especially when his best friend was John Lennon.

       youre gonna love me

The text came through when Ringo was sat in a café getting some lunch. He'd finished with one of his younger students, a sweet girl who's parents had tried to convince her to try a more 'ladylike' instrument but she had promised only to give up the drums if she was awful; much to her delight, and Ringo's for being able to prove the stereotypical parents wrong, she was pretty good. Seeing her always put Ringo in a good mood, the parents mostly stayed away partly due to the noise but mostly due to disappointment, which meant they could joke around together. Ringo could tell she admired him and he welcomed it gladly, one of the best things about teaching was inspiring others, at least for him it was.

        do i not already?

        well yes         but youre gonna love me EVEN more

        what have you done

        well i happened to stop by the club last night

        oh god what did you do

        wow is that how little you trust me

        can you blame me

        suppose not         ANYWAY i got talking to paulie

        surprise surprise

        do you want the good news or not???

        fine fine sorry

        AS I WAS SAYING i was talking to paulie         and he told me that your special little someone has an onlyfans account

        first of all fuck you for calling him that         second of all wtf is onlyfans

        oh sorry i didnt realise you werent living in the 21st century

        ......         care to grace me with your knowledge?

        basically its a website where you can post exclusive stuff for ONLY FANS to see         its not a porn site or anything but its basically where people sell their nudes         MEANING spike has an account so you can totally see loads of raunchy filthy perverted pics of him

        but i have to pay?

        well weve all gotta make a living

        i can basically see him naked for free

        but this way you wont get all freaked out and embarrassed         well you will but nobody will know at least         so do you want the link or not???

Ringo paused for a few moments, he was gripping his phone tightly in both of his hands as he unblinkingly looked at John's words. If his mind was going to decide to make him suffer by enabling his intense interest in Spike, he may as well get something out of it.

        fine

        where are your manners richard??

        can i please have the link to the strippers nude photos please john please

        alright calm down         let me know if its worth while i might have a look

        idk if im even gonna look at it         paying for porn is a little dated

        treat yourself ringo         id offer to pay but im broke

        if youre broke why were you at the strip club last night?

        well SOMEONE had to go

        they really didnt

        im supporting my local economy

        i dont think thats how that works

        sure it is         anyway here you go

Ringo stared at the link for a while, his eyes even began to blur, he didn't want to risk opening it in public even though he knew there was little chance of anyone seeing. He finished his lunch in a hurry and headed home quickly, only when he was in the privacy of his bedroom did he dare open it. First he had to make an account, when he saw the screen loading up asking for an email address and password he just turned his screen off and put the phone down. This was far too much effort for something he shouldn't really have been doing in the first place. But it only took a few minutes for him to pick the phone back up and begin signing up, he used an old email as it felt less seedy that way and he didn't want to risk his name cropping up anywhere for Spike to see. Now he could load up the link properly and take a proper look at Spike's profile.

Just looking at the small profile picture was enough to startle Ringo a little, the dark eyes looking into the camera with that unreadable glimmer behind them. He was shirtless in the picture, Ringo wondered why that didn't catch his attention first, with the frame cutting off just before it showed anything too explicit. The header was a photo taken from the club, showing him in tight, leather pants and tassels on his nipples which matched the whip he held in his hand. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He'd spent so much time and effort trying not to think about this man, attempting to keep him out of his mind as much as possible. Ringo knew that if he went through with this all that progress would be lost, he'd be giving in to whatever strange obsession he'd developed for Spike, one that no doubt wasn't going to lead to anything good.

Ringo kept staring at the screen as though it was going to tell him what he should do. Spike's profile had no description, which wasn't very surprising, and it dashed any hope Ringo had of discovering something new about him. Right before he was about to put his phone down again, it vibrated.

        howd the wank go??

        john i dont care how long weve been friends asking how my wank was will always be weird

        youre right sorry         so how did it go???

        if you must know         i havent had a wank         i havent even paid for entry

        now whos the one being inappropriate??

        ha ha

        why havent you???

        feels weird

        oh i see         youll consume a bunch of unethical porn for free but god forbid you actually give sex workers any actual money

        you are the last person who can lecture me about unethical porn

        hey now watch yourself         ringo if you dont get a subscription I WILL

        go ahead

        and ill tell you every day what sexy sexy pictures hes posting         ill tell you EVERY SINGLE TIME i have a wank over them

        every time? i dont think youve got enough data for that

        im not joking

        neither am i         you wank A LOT

        ringooooo just buy it i swear to god         if its not worth it or you regret it or whatever ill give you the money back

        on top of the money you already owe me?

        have you always been such a capitalist

        youre not doing a very good job of convincing me

        fine         spikes cock         now are you convinced???

        maybe

        naked pictures of spike whenever and wherever you want them all for the low low price of 10 quid a month         convinced??

        fine fine         if itll shut you up

        im starting to think thats code for 'i really wanna do this but im too embarrassed to admit it'

        i hate you

        now that DEFINITELY code for 'john youre right'         anyway theres no time to be telling me how right i am all the time youve got dick pics to look at         even i wont stand in the way of a good wank         so dont bother replying to me until youve paid for that subscription young man

        im older than you

        DONT BOTHER REPLYING

Ringo let out a sigh and rested his head against the bedroom wall from where he was laying on the bed. He opened up the link again and his thumb hovered over the subscription button, why couldn't he just do it? The money wasn't an issue, it could've cost half as much or be double the price and he'd still be debating it all the same. Somehow it felt like an invasion of privacy, after all Spike hadn't told Ringo about it himself, but then again that didn't necessarily mean he didn't want Ringo to see it. After all it was like John said: everyone has to make a living somehow. Sometimes Ringo wished he could turn off that part of his brain that was so empathetic, so concerned about how everyone felt and what they were thinking. He knew that he wanted this, so why wasn't he allowing himself to have it? Ringo could see that he was being ridiculous, as he was with almost anything involving Spike, and after lying there for a while pondering and debating he decided to flip a coin. Heads would mean he got the subscription, tails that he didn't. He watched the coin spinning through the air after he flicked it upwards, then snatched it and slammed it down onto his forearm before slowly moving his hand away: it was tails. What a relief. Ringo chuckled to himself for being so foolish, settling down into his bed; it was still only around midday but he didn't have anywhere he needed to be.

So why didn't he feel relieved in the slightest?

This whole thing was getting tiring, the constant debate between what he believed he should do and what he wanted to do, and it seemed like it wasn't going to be ending anytime soon. Apparently he was in this for the long run, whatever that meant, but if he was going to turn down relatively attractive guys practically throwing themselves at him, he may as well go all the way. While he was putting in his credit card information, he stopped to think around three of four times, but once he'd finished and the images became accessible to him, his brain was barely able to conjure up a coherent sentence.

"Jesus..." Ringo breathed out as his eyes flicked across the plethora of pictures loading up on his screen.

There was a lot of them, and a lot of Spike was on display. Most of them were pictures taken at the club, either from a professional photographer in the audience or photos he'd taken himself in the mirrors backstage - Ringo could even see glimpses of Paul in the background of some of them. The ones that caught Ringo's eyes the most were those that seemed to be taken in his house, these also happened to be the ones in which Spike tended to be fully naked. It was very different experience to see him like this: a static image that he'd intentionally taken of himself and posted for so many people to see, an image that couldn't look back at Ringo and make him feel that strange mixture of excitement and shame. He began scrolling down the feed which only revealed more and more enticing photos. Ringo began to feel himself hardening, he suspected it had been happening for a while now but he'd been far too distracted to notice. He felt like a teenager discovering porn for the first time, it was difficult to remind himself that this wasn't anything new. Seeing Spike naked shouldn't have excited him so much, and yet it did.

One picture in particular drew Ringo's attention: Spike was stood in front of a bathroom mirror with a loose black tie lying against his bare chest, one hand was holding a phone and the other gripping his cock. He had dark eye make up on and his hair was messy. Ringo wasn't sure exactly what it was about this photo that was so enticing but he couldn't take his eyes off it. The prominence of his collarbones, the faint curls of his dark hair, how his slim fingers wrapped around himself. Slowly Ringo slid his own hand under the waistband of his boxers as he stared at the picture. At first he hesitated, his fingers stopped right above the base. It's not like this would've been the first time he'd touched himself while thinking about Spike, it would've been far from the last he imagined, but this was different. It was more concrete, more of an admission. Nothing felt quite as real when it's only being imagined, the haziness of lust fuzzing up the mind as it so often did, but now with a very real photo of Spike in front of him - which he'd paid to see - the feeling was far more tangible, far harder to ignore.

He'd come this far, he told himself as his hand sunk lower until his fingers were running along the length of his semi-hard cock, he may as well go all the way. To begin with Ringo stayed looking at this single picture as he slowly pumped himself, but as his lust began to grow he perused through more and more pictures: Spike kneeling naked in front of a mirror with a loose cigarette hanging from his lips, lying in the bath with bubbles only just about covering his nakedness, spread out on the bed with a gag in his mouth, handcuffs forcing his slim arms behind his back with his cock throbbing. None of this was anything Ringo hadn't seen before, like most people in this day and age he'd searched through the darker corners of the internet - sometimes willingly, sometimes John was to blame - but to see Spike in such a way was like an entirely new rush. Each picture drove Ringo further and further on, at times he almost dropped his phone with how sloppy his movements were becoming. Who took these photos? Ringo figured it was best not to think about it, the possibility that Spike had a boyfriend who took all these pictures of him would've been the quickest way to kill his erection.

Ringo began moaning and cursing wantonly as he got closer and closer to his orgasm, he had to stop flicking through the pictures because he could hardly concentrate on what his other hand was doing, so he settled on a final one to help him finish; it wasn't particularly strategic but he was definitely grateful that he selected the one that he did. In it Spike was looking directly into the camera, allowing Ringo to gaze longingly into the rich brown of his eyes and how his dark lashes curled beautifully around them. He was shirtless with nothing but a necklace on, the same necklace that Ringo had seen him wearing in the record store and Ringo couldn't help feeling a sense of satisfaction that he'd seen it with his own eyes, as though it meant something. Deep down he knew that it didn't but his inebriated mind was latching onto it. The nudity in the photo was hardly interesting Ringo by this point, although it would be wrong to say that he completely ignored the flatness of his stomach or the faint shadows of his ribs beneath his pale skin, it was the personal aspect which truly affected him.

This wasn't just lust. Lust Ringo could understand, he could compartmentalise it and give into it without much shame or a second thought. If this was just lust, he would've bought the subscription without a care and touched himself looking at the nakedness of Spike's body as though it meant nothing more than a way to get off. Yet here he was on the brink of orgasm looking into another man's eyes, eyes that felt like they were looking straight back at him as though they were sharing this moment together. It wasn't hard to imagine Spike's hand in place of his own, those deep eyes watching Ringo come undone piece by piece. Ringo's hip began to stutter, his leg twitching a little as he had to drop the phone down onto his lap as his head fell back against his pillow as his orgasm approached. It wasn't the image of Spike's naked body that filled Ringo's mind as he came, it wasn't his arse or his cock or even his chest, it was his face, his voice, it was him.

Ringo lay breathless on his bed for a while, the clarity that arrived as his orgasm subsided wasn't welcome in the slightest and he was reluctant to pick his phone back up to see Spike's eyes looking at him once again. There was no use in feeling ashamed about it, no point in trying to deny it any longer: his feelings for Spike were more than a mere passing fancy, that was clear. Exactly what he was meant to do about these feelings was far from clear but that wasn't something Ringo could figure out right now with cum on his stomach and the daylight seeping through his bedroom curtains.

When he'd picked up his phone he'd closed all the apps immediately, doing his best not to catch a glimpse of what he'd been so eagerly looking at before. Just as he was about to step into the shower to clean himself off, his phone buzzed; he almost couldn't hear it over the music he was blasting out. It alerted him for a moment as though it was going to be a message from Spike stating he knew exactly what Ringo had just done - it wouldn't have really surprised him had that been the case, Spike's face almost always looked like he knew something that nobody else did - but fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it was John.

        sooo how did the wank go

         who knows          but on a totally unrelated note im about to get into the shower

         well before you do that i have even more good news 

         can it not wait?

         NO because you might cum just at the thought of it and then youd be wasting a good shower

         well arent you considerate          and unnecessarily graphic

         thats me          anyway im taking you to the club next tuesday whether you like it or not

         im still waiting for the good news

         well if youd let me FINISH          next week theyre doing a special event and we just have to go          youll never guess what it is

         what is it?

         guess

         you just said ill never guess

         youre no fun

         WHAT IS IT

         alright alright keep your hair on          its a crossdressing event          high heels make up probably a few wigs all that good stuff

         im still waiting for the good news

         OH COME ON youre telling me you dont want to see spike in heels and fishnets with some lovely lipstick on

Ringo gulped. It wasn't a difficult image to conjure up his mind, considering he'd been staring at photos of Spike for the past twenty minutes and it excited him to say the least. He did want to see that, very much indeed.

[meganharperr-blog]

COVID-19 Day 3

Why did I start on day 3 you might ask? Well day 1 was reserved for crying, self pity, deep bouts of depression, restless anxiety, and a shit ton of edibles. Day 2 was consumed by coming up with a plan. So let’s back track to what I can remember about those days and the questions I have been asked:

1.  What made you get tested? Did you have symptoms? I very honestly get routine tests. If I am exposed to larger groups of people than my norm, I get tested. If I have a bunch of makeup gigs, I get tested. I get tested for my clients and customers. It is my moral obligation and civil duty to make sure I am 100% healthy to perform justifiably in all the fields I conduct business…which is a vast amount of service based income. I am a makeup artist, and Esthetician, and a Bartender. I either have my hands physically on someone or I am serving masses of people at a given time. Now doing all of this I have become insanely hyper aware of sanitation. In my studio I have Clorox wipes at arms reach, I sanitize with Barbicide and I am Barbicide certified, all sheets and blankets get washed after every client, and if you have had your makeup done by me before you know I wont use the same brush twice and it must be sanitized in-between clients. This has all been second nature to me for years. So when I had a bunch of photoshoots and clients on the books I knew it was time to get tested for peace of mind. Only a week and 1/2 after my last COVID test. The only thing I can even consider a symptom would be the night before I had a headache. I took Advil and it went away no problem. I was also on my cycle and having cramps…or could they have been “body pains”? Shit idk. All I know is I made a joke about having COVID on my way to my rapid testing…

2. Have you heard that the rapid tests are not as accurate? When I got my results back in 15 min and it was my first ever positive I was shocked. I did not trust it right away and pretty much everyone in my circle said get a second opinion. So I got 2 more. One was another rapid test. The other would get back to me in 3 days. I mentally claimed it was a false positive. 

My brain: “shiiiit. There aint no way. No way in hell girl. You careful as shit. You got all these blessings coming your way. Business is booming. Opportunities are rising. Aint no slowing down for 2 weeks right now.” 

I of course made my partner come with me and get a rapid test as well as the test that would take 3 days to get back to us. While waiting for the results I wanted to get vitamins and snacks and what ever else I may need if this does become my reality. We get to Publix and my heart sinks into my asshole and I’m like…. SHOULD I EVEN GO IN THERE?! The anxiety started building right then and there. I thought to myself “Just keep your mask on, Social distance, you know wtf goin on just be safe” … as we get into the store I wasn’t feeling it. I saw older people around me and I just didn’t feel right and in that moment my phone started to ring. I bursted into tears and couldn’t even stay in the store. I just knew it. It was legit.. 

The lady on the phone was so nice. She asked if it was what I expected to hear and I honestly said “no”. Because I just knew I didn’t have it. I knew how careful I had been.I am not a perfect person by any means but I see y'all reckless ass Mfer’s out there and we are not the sameeeee man shit nawwww this couldn't happen to me. But it did. 

3. How did you get it? OMFG IDK! I have exhausted my brain with this question. How could this happen to me? Shit did I drop my mask at some point? Did I get too close to someone outside at ( insert bar name here ) when I went to have a drink on Saturday night? But it was outside? 

Googles : “Can you catch COVID outside? “

    “Can you catch COVID with a mask on?”

    “Can you catch COVID from  it being on your clothing?”

    “Can you catch COVID from a toilet seat?”

I mean you name it I Googled it. And the unfortunate answer was yes to all of the above. I got tested on the 4th. So I know I got it sometime after that. I of course contacted everyone I came in contact with….which was horrible! I felt freaking terrible!!! I swear it was worse than narrowing down an STD culprit. It’s like shit… you get an STD…you hit up your top 5, or top 10…look idk your life like that…and have everyone get tested. Let’s be real though you got it narrowed down and think you probably know who did you dirty….Get the results back and boom its over with. Take the meds move on with your life no-one has to know. COVID on the other hand can fucking KILL YEW, PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT, GRANDMAS THAT THEY CARE ABOUT, CHILDREN WITH PRE-EXISTING ISSUES, IT CAN KILL PEOPLE. So you gotta back track back track. Make sure all bases are covered especially when you work multiple outlets which is mad important these days. THE MORAL of all this is… idk. Idk how I got it. I am mad careful. I be judging you on social media for being out and reckless without a mask on. I get tested frequently. I have hand sanitizer in every bag I own, in my car, and all over my home. I AM A NEAT FREAK and a GERMY! I am careful. To say the least..but not perfect I am sure after working 10 hours in a mask I have let it fall for a few min! I am sure on my bike I have dropped it out of pure exhaustion. I know I have tried hard, but I am still human and this is all new.  So y’all non-maskers out there think you on to something…in reality you could have it too and not even know. Psh. Anyways. Next question…

4. Does your partner have it too? No. Somehow no. This is where we had to start coming up with a plan. We work together so this puts us both out of work. LUCKILY we have been saving incase of a shut down and we also have back up savings for a home we *hope* to purchase next year so that plan was solid…. But how to keep him healthy? Just because I do not have symptoms does not mean his body will react the same way. I need to make sure he does not get infected as well. We are going to continue to get him tested for the next several days to monitor that. He is quarantining and I am in what is called “isolation”for a minimum of 14 days. We try our best to stay in different rooms. We have a tiny apartment with one bathroom, so I am just constantly sanitizing right now. Everything I touch or may have touched gets a Clorox wipe. We both wear masks 24/7 in the house. Even if he goes outside to walk the dog, I am keeping a mask on. I have learned so much in the past 48 hours about contracting the virus that I do not even want to risk a drop of my saliva in this house. I am doing disposable masks every day. I luckily have plenty of masks and gloves from working on clients. If I cook I wash my hands, sanitize, then put on gloves. We eat in separate rooms or at the edge of the room so it feels like we are eating together. We are really trying our best and that is some shit they do not prepare you for. Your partner has to be careful around you. They cannot touch you or even come near you and sometimes have to remind you of that. Try to do chores in separate rooms. Try to not get your feelings hurt because its not that they don’t want to be around you, but it is dangerous and they cannot be. So my poor lil feelings keep getting hurt, but I’m a tough gal it’ll be alright I just want to make sure he stays healthy. 

5. Can you breathe? So this brings us to day 3. We have a plan. It has been working. I have my little cleaning things I am doing in one room, he has his in another…and I am pretty much in Go Mode. Before all of this I had a Cleaning Babe coming to help me with things so I had a list for her. I just embodied her and did the list myself plus some major decluttering. I have a ton of clothes to donate (that I am letting sit bagged up for 14 days just to be cautious before donating…some shit I read idk…might get anxious and throw it all away…tbd) so while I am going to town cleaning out my abyss I start to get really short of breath and kinda lethargic. I laid down on the bed to catch my breath for several minutes then took a little break from cleaning. This is the first time I have felt any type of crazy. I still have a lot of anxiety about the days to come. Will it get worse? Will I start to feel like actual hell on earth? Will I be able to keep my partner safe? Shit idk but I am trying really hard. They simply do not tell you about the anxiety that you will have. It is normal. You are going to be generally overwhelmed if you are a good person. Just stay good. and Stay aware.... and Stay tuned. I may not write every single day. But I will keep you updated. If you have any helpful stuff for me to read, please send it my way! If you have any questions feel free to ask. If you have been in this situation with a live in positive and negative… what’s your advice? My DM’s and PM’s are open. 

[oghoneytryst]

savior;

continuation from the sunflower. series / part 3

where a fan becomes a friend

a/n: thank u for being so patient with this. my inspiration and writing just ... hasn’t been it lately, but I'm really pushing through and i am so happy to have finished this part. honestly, we’ve got a long road ahead of us, but I will try my absolute best to drive this wild ride down.

pls let me know how you feel about this part! pls be nice b/c I'm currently in sad bitch hours :-)

also sorry that tumblr is a weirdo and made the format for text super strange, idk what to do about it but i hope it doesn’t affect anything!

------------

~ Nov. 14 ~

Every digit embodies a shapely mark of intimidation; all ten, with their loops and their curves that shower in iridescence through her late morning eyes. Midnight ink saturates the sticky note’s pale yellow, tiny creases in the square body and little curls at the edges. She knows the value of this ordinary paper, and in her hands, it dances in the flame of eternal possibilities.

The pregnant woman sits on an office chair with desperation in her chest. Beneath the buttons and ruffles of her bright marigold blouse, her heart beats against her clammy skin. Heavy thighs stick to the squish of the chair, a mermaid’s tail in a muted pencil skirt. The material expands and shapes over her little bump; her growing joy; her inconvenient little bundle that she adores so much.

As a result of her punishable overthinking, she tears away the inside of her cheek, gnawing teeth at war by mindless command. In a pile of her worries, the minimal harm is at the very bottom. At the top are these ten digits that transfix her curious eyes. It isn’t as if she hasn’t considered dialing the number before. Insignificant pregnancy whines, however, cannot compare with the favor she would be asking of him now.

Without trouble, she recalls the days that had followed Harry’s visit. She recalls her tears on the couch, angry at nothing, angry at everything; the frustrating changes of her body, the awful work days. In all of her recollections, she complains to her roommate, who she admires greatly for putting up with all of her dramatics.

On the 6th, she had obsessively craved some Dippin’ Dots. It had been on the 6th that Aaron found himself arguing with a pregnant woman, a feat he had never wanted. It hadn’t mattered that such a pregnant woman had been his infuriatingly needy roommate, someone he actually does care for. He really had no trouble telling her no after her incredibly annoying behavior that afternoon.

She, of course, is never able to control her pregnant mannerisms. Yet, Aaron has always been suspicious of what she had been like prior to the bun in her oven. He has only ever known her as a woman-carrying-child in need, so perhaps during this process a lot of her personality hyphens instead of alters.

Nonetheless, her demand had been frankly impossible on the 6th. The nearest Dippin’ Dots is more than a half hour drive away from their home, and nighttime had been approaching soon. There hadn’t been a chance that Aaron would bear through Los Angeles traffic for, quote, “fucking balls of ice cream.”

So, with the fire of the sun drizzling to a bedazzling California sky, she had wept over nothing and everything at once. The timeline of her pregnancy had not made her emotions plausible. Instead, it had been the collective world turning against her on a tiring, unwelcomed day.

In the flash of a second, she had heard the ding in her fuzzy brain. The sticky note with the fruitful digits ... maybe he has some connections! Maybe he can bring us some! Do you think? If he’s not busy? What if he has a special freezer meant for his own supply of Dippin’ Dots?

It had been harmless on her part; an oh-so-bright idea crafted from a momentary desire for soft frozen food. She had been so close to make the call, if not for her dearest roommate and his not-so-delicate intervention. Aaron, the man who she believes admires Harry more than she does. With a high percentage of certitude, she knows he’d be first in line to invite the Cheshire man back to their unimpressive home. 

In truth, that had been the reason for his disapproval of ringing him up that night. He believed it to be lunacy, sharp scissors at the ready in order to cut the special ties she had somehow knotted up with Harry. The man’s exact words – in that richly Northwestern accent – had been: “if you ever need something, please, don’t hesitate to call this number.” Something, in Aaron’s eyes, had not been anything. While he does not have a single doubt that the rock star would fly to her rescue in any situation, he advised against calling him for certain things.

Not everyone is so fortunate to have Harry in their lives. Aaron, with all of his respect for the man, knew that this had been a game to play carefully. If his pregnant roommate really enjoyed Harry’s company, she would have to play every card right, especially with a man as reserved as he is.

His points had been compelling, but she had not seen it as seriously. Her intuition had not stopped her from rethinking her decision once and twice and thrice. In the end, she had put her trust in Aaron’s madman words and had not called Harry. In the days that had followed, his charismatic voice lured in the back of her head whenever she scanned the sticky note, second-guessing herself about whether her temptation to call him had been worthy enough of his time.

It had been more difficult to resist calling when she had been alone one unfortunate night. The bustle of the neighborhood brought her to a reality that she did not particularly enjoy. Forced by the comfort of her pregnancy pillow, there had been a magnetic pull of the stars that whispered to her eyes through an overbearing distance.

She only wanted a friend that night. Someone to talk with, to hear their voice so that it could bring her back to the bit of sanity she had left. Previous nights, Aaron had been a solace for her, soft-spoken words lulling her to sleep after suffocating in the clouds for too long. Except that night, he ended up at his workplace until the late hour, and she recognized her loneliness as dangerously frightening.

For hours she cried, wanting a hug, wanting something to make her feel real and existent and safe. On that night, in her most calamitous moments, she later came to notice the vivacity of her swollen stomach. It had been – always is – comforting to feel something there, even without having to actually feel movement. It had been therapeutic to whisper her fears and truths. It had been on that night, she would never be alone again.

She hasn’t thought to call the number since. While it has only been a mere 10 days, there feels to be an infinite timeline of moments in-between. She knows it to be more accurate for him and his busy, ever-changing schedule.

They’d had a conversation last time, when he brought her that treasured gift. He sat on the dusty floorboards, her rested on a heavenly cloud with a smile to match. It had been simple, a little awkward at times, though never once had it felt forced. She feared them reverting back to strangers, to sense the shift in energy that would put a strain on her heart.

She scans the note again. xxx-xxx-xxxx. A dime of kisses, where no other option lies.

With her phone face-up on the receptionist’s desk, she rolls her eyes. Messages of apologies and excuses flood in, though her scant aggression dissolves into an antsy frown. She cannot be mad at Cindy/Sydney for cancelling on her, especially when she does not even know her actual name. The frustration of her anger devolves into frustration of herself, for this damn appointment that she had not set up a backup plan for.

“Excuse me?”

Breaking up with an intense, one-sided conversation, she raises her head to a sheepish man in his late 30’s, early 40’s. He stands at a short height on the other side of the receptionist’s desk, square glasses disguising his truest features.

She grins at him, a cheery delight overpowering her honest glum. “Hi, how are you?” her voice chirps, a shift in her behavior that she considers a skill-set. “What can I do for you today?”

“Uh, I’ve already spoken with you. I have an appointment with Sanders at 10 and you told me to fill out a form. I’m still waiting for it.”

The woman’s smile falters at the man’s irresolute explanation. He ends each sentence as though it is a question, not wanting to step on a wrong foot. She takes in his appearance, and there is familiarity in his rusty red, untucked polo. 

“Right.” Her eyes close in repent of her common forgetfulness. “That’s right. I’m sorry.” She scurries to get the papers together on a clipboard, pushing the rolling chair in every different direction. “I’ve just been a little slow today.” The man laughs off the mistake, assuring her that there are no worries.

“Really, no trouble at all.” 

He thanks her for the form once it is secure in his hands and walks to the waiting area. This accidentally precedes her rushing to hand him the sticky note, to which she quickly realizes her mistake before he has a chance to read the numbers. He sits down in a modern arm chair next to its twin, where a young preteen girl shifts around nervously. Out of plain assumption, she recognizes the pair as a father-daughter duo. The man smiles at the girl, crossing his legs, trying to console her nerves as best as he can with humor.

The pregnant receptionist smiles.

The ventilated air of the office smoothens in her lungs.

For her child, she would do anything – everything. As hesitant thoughts surge through in hungry waves, she dials the number in her phone anyway. In the back of her head, she contemplates whether it is actually his number or if it belongs to an assistant of his. It doesn’t sound completely off from what a celebrity would do. He doesn’t know who she is. It’s better to play it safe than to make a foolish mistake that he later regrets. 

The trio of short, snippy buzzes vibrate through the line. It is an electric feeling, comforting almost to hear its warm murmur during her wait.

“—Hello?”

Her languid eyes illuminate in the mirror of neon signs; her body freezes over with a blizzard of nerves. His voice is somehow deeper than she remembers from 10 days ago, an ironic sultriness in his polite tone.

“Hello?” he asks again with a tad more infliction in the single word.

“...H-Hello,” she responds, tongue running dry and the last sensible part of her brain sabotaging her. Why didn’t I prepare for this? It is feasible that deep in her subconscious, she had expected an assistant to answer. She practically wanted an assistant to answer. 

He repeats himself, “Hello,” a little more chirp in the melody of a mockingbird.

“Hi. Harry?”

“Who’s calling?”

The question stumbles her for a second. Is it good or bad that he cannot recognize her voice? Admittedly a consequence on her part for taking so long to reach out. She answers anyway, her name spoken with so much dubiety, but really, what is she afraid of? 

“You know, the uh, the one from—”

“Oh—”

“From Mel’s and, the one with ... pregnant, y’know—”

“Yeah!” he exclaims, echoing her name through a mildly static output. “Of course. How are you? Doing alright? Baby’s fine?” 

She pulls away from the phone to breathe, suddenly elated over his reaction. His charisma is virtually magical. She touches her cheek to the screen again to answer:

“I’m doing great, thank you. Baby’s fine, I hope.”

A delay of worry replaces his lack of an immediate response. “You hope? Why, what’s – is there something wrong?”

“No!” she bursts out, the father and daughter staring back at her in surprise. She nervously chuckles and smiles at them, deflating in her chair as she continues. “No, sorry, that came out wrong. I meant to say ... well, I’m sure the baby’s fine. Nothing feels wrong, but I do have an appointment for an ultrasound today.”

A faint crackle from the line resonates in her ear. She clearly pictures Harry’s sigh of relief.

“Really? That’s great. I hope it all goes well.”

“Thanks! Thank you, I do too—” she snickers, “Obviously, but I have uh ... there’s a bit of a predicament.”

“Predicament? Fancy word.”

“Right, well, it’s not so much of a fancy situation that I’m in. See, I was supposed to be picked up later today by Cindy Sydney so that she could take me from work to the appointment, but she just called and cancelled because she has to pick up her aunt from the airport. She got the dates mixed up somehow, which makes no sense because pregnancy has made me very forgetful, and even I didn’t get the dates wrong. I think that might have to do with the planner, it does keep me organized, but even then—”

“Darling,” Harry stops her, unaware of how she chokes on her own tongue at the endearment. Darling. Darling again! From darling to love, she is in a storm of beating hearts. “You’re gonna ‘ave to slow down. What – you don’t have a way to get to your appointment, is it?”

“Yes. Right. I don’t have enough for an Uber or a Lyft right now without affecting my budget for next month. She offered to pay for it, that or for cancellation fees, but I don’t really trust those kinds of transportations right now, and I already got approval from my manager, so switching the date would just be super inconvenient.”

“Right. I understand.”

“I’m so sorry, it’s just that no one else that I know of is available, and I don’t want to bother you if you’re busy. I wouldn’t be calling if—”

“No, no, that’s alright. I’m glad that you’re calling.”

The pregnant woman simpers, a needle pricking at her heart. “R-Really?”

“Of course. I would be more than glad to help. If you could just send me the location of your workplace and where you’re getting your ultrasound ... what time is your appointment?”

“At 2. I want to get there maybe fifteen minutes earlier. You’ll never know how much the traffic will back up at that time. Is it okay if uh ... are, are you picking me up or...?”

“Yeah, why?”

“N-No, nothing, I just ... didn’t know if you were busy. Didn’t want to assume.”

“Yeah, my schedule’s fine. Not really doing anything that I can’t do later, so everything’s fine.”

“Oh, okay. Good. Great. So, uh, is it okay if you arrive here at, say, one-oh-five-ish?” 

“Oddly specific.” Harry chuckles. “But sure. I can make that happen.” 

“Great! Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“You’re quite welcome ... thank you for calling.”

While her appreciation for him has always been so strong, this heavy thump in her pink and red organ is nearly unbearable. Ever since he fell intertwining into her life, she tries her hardest to ignore whatever feelings may occur. Now it seems more ideal to control it than to suppress it.

“You’re welcome,” she speaks softly, 16 again with a crush on a boy. “Thank you for picking up.”

Unbeknownst to her, he smiles on the other end. “S’ my pleasure. Now, get back to work, you over-achiever!” His accent purposely thickens on his second sentence, eliciting a natural, honest laugh. “Don’t forget to send me the addresses. I’ll make sure everything works out.”

Their phone call ends with innocent expressions of repetitive gratitude and gentle goodbyes. The pregnant woman does not waste a second to send him the addresses via text message, not allowing herself to fall victim to her lapse of memory. She checks over the numbers, the street names, the zip codes – all more than once, to make sure that all is well and not in metaphorical flames.

new message: Got it. See you later. H

H. She bites on her silky lip, a refreshing taste from her natural balm. She is familiar with the signoff, though she doesn’t know if it is something he does regularly or if it is only a one-time confirmation that this is, in fact, his number. Does he expect her to save his ten digits in her contact’s list, somewhere underneath a family member and above an old friend? She is giddy, undoubtedly so. An unspoken dream of hers as a plain teenager unraveling into reality! It causes the brightest smile this orthodontist office has ever seen.

So much esteem fills her up at eleven in the morning, and to her expectation, the hours go by very slowly. Alternating clients, each with different lives, somehow bound to this one place and time. Sorting forms and making calls and opening emails; a distraction in one way or another, but neither can steal her attention entirely.

Due to a much-needed bathroom break, she almost misses the message. Relieving her bladder had not been the first or even second of the day, but it is important that she stays hydrated, and this is especially true during her pregnancy. She really cannot afford a preventable trip to the emergency room right now.

When she reaches the receptionist’s desk, the message hides behind the black screen of her phone for an entire minute. She is lucky that her outdated iPhone can still be trusted by reminding her of a message succeeding two minutes from when she receives it.

new message: I’m outside. Toyota Camry in black. 

Despite her anticipation for his arrival, the message throws her off any and all guards. Primarily it is because he arrives six minutes before their agreed time, whereas her friends are usually a few minutes late. Secondarily... 

“Toyota?” she whispers to herself, eyebrows arching together. She isn’t too up to speed with car models, but she is more than certain that Harry has driven some different sort of vehicles in his time. The only moment she can ever recall him in a Toyota had been that commercial he had done years ago.

Regardless, she raises steadily from her chair on wheels, pushing it back as she collects her belongings. It is without trouble that she notices the slight shake of her hand, the sweat collecting on different sections of her skin. She ignores it. “Ang!” she calls, groaning at the absolute mess of her work bag. It is more professional than her casual bucket bag, wide with its faux leather, but it is just as much of an interior travesty.

She picks up her phone to send a one-handed message:

Conch.

Coming* 

Be out soon.

“Ang!”

There is a franticness to her as she steps around the receptionist’s desk. She sports an added height in her footwear, something that she tries to savor before her feet start to swell. She thinks it will be unbearable to wear heels then, but she’s not for certain.

“I’m here, I’m here!” Ang announces, stepping into the light of the front area in her navy scrubs. “Sorry, nena, I had an alarm set for one in case you forgot. Guess it didn’t go off.” 

The pregnant woman watches her coworker situate herself on the rolling chair. “No, no, you’re fine, it’s not one yet. Honestly, I don’t think I would’ve been able to forget. I’m just so excited, you have no idea.”

“No, I don’t.” Ang smiles. “You’re about to see your child! That’s a huge deal.”

“I know! I know, I can’t wait.”

“I can. Especially until Stefan buys me a ring. Otherwise, I’m going to keep working on my career.”

The woman smiles at her friend, thanking her once more for taking over her station while she is gone. She repeats the same gratitude, expressing how much this truly means to her, because it all comes from her honest heart. She really is in awe of how willing people are to help her when she is in need.

“Also, turn that alarm off before it starts ringing. It makes me anxious every time I hear it.”

“You and I both.” Ang snickers. “You’re off to your appointment then?” 

“Yes, my uh, my ride’s here so ... better early than late when it comes to these things, y’know?”

“Mm-hmm. Who’s taking you?”

The pregnant woman hesitates. “A friend. Has the day off from work, thankfully.” 

Ang begins to sift through a small pile of paperwork, sparing her coworker a measly glance. She’s not unfamiliar with the receptionist’s work, so she takes this as an opportunity to rest her active legs. She can also recognize the strange tone of the pregnant woman, a shaky smile that carries suspicion.

She doesn’t think too much on it. “Great. Be safe. Let me know how it goes.”

For that, the pregnant woman is grateful. “Thank you.” She smiles, a frail wave in Ang’s direction as she blindly scurries away. “I’ll see you tomorrow!”

She almost runs belly first into the glass door, but stutters her movements before any panic arises from Ang. Still, she sighs with relief when she hears the chime above her pregnant coworker’s head. “...Be careful.”

“Got it! Bye!”

The woman’s face twists in agony as she exits the office. A tenacious heat buries her in an embrace. Parallel to the sidewalk she stands upon is a dark vehicle, a protective tint rises from the brim of the tires and extends beyond the sleek windows. She gravitates in its direction at the sound of the passanger door unlocking, considering it symbolic, the single click of the door a new breath of feasibilities. 

She stalks a couple feet to her right where the car reeks with caution. It isn’t until the passanger windows rolls down that she can sense her blood settle and burst all at once. “Hi.” Harry leans forward at his side, revealing his face amongst the darkness of his surroundings.

“Hey, hi,” she greets him back through the open window. “Good to see you. Nice car.” 

“Thanks.” He smiles, scarce eyes pulling to her every movement. In the most mundane activities – fingertips at the door handle, crouching to the seat, buckling the seatbelt – she highlights his curiosity. “Good to see you as well. Also, s’ actually not my car.”

With her lips as barriers around a reusable straw, she pretends to be surprised. “It’s not?” she smacks her tongue, relishing in the purity of her water.

Harry shifts the gear in drive, setting the GPS up and maneuvering out of the lot with high-alert. “No. I’ve borrowed it.”

“Why—”

“Starting route to—” The animatronic voice interrupts their conversation.

She tries again, “Why would you do that?” with slight disappointment in their reunion. It lacks excitement, but somehow picks up where it’s been left off. No longer a drastic stretch in time are those 10 days.

Harry shrugs casually, turning onto the main road where other vehicles swim along. “Draws less attention.” He pauses, to which she then decides to look over. With the exception of him driving, she gets the impression that he avoids her eyes more so to keep her from catching the sadness in his. There is only a sprinkle, a shimmer that is never truly absent. “Thought you’d might be a little anxious about your appointment,” he continues, “Didn’t want you to have to worry about something else.”

“Oh.” She warms up, her organs all collectively combusting. “Thanks. Thank you for thinking of that.” Her words express gratitude with ease, but the glimmer in her eyes twinge with empathy. She doesn’t ponder over her privacy, or how simple it is for her to go out and do as she pleases. Since his 16th year, he had not been so lucky.

“Of course,” he replies, professionally monotone, as though he can shut off even the faintest flicker of emotion. “S’ my pleasure. How are you feeling? Nervous?”

“Uh, yeah, a little. I’m really jittery and I’ve been drinking water nonstop. On top of that, my bladder is the size of a bean. I’m really good at holding it in though, so I’m not afraid of ruining your seats or anything. Or ... not your seats, but your seats for now. Not like ... not that you were even thinking about that...”

Harry chuckles throughout the entirety of her run-on spoken thoughts. It is never at her – no, never. It is because of her, because despite any situation, she is this fountain of goodness drowning in gold. “Very nervous then?” he teases.

“Yeah ... sorry.”

“No, it’s alright. Nothing to be ashamed about. It’s an important day for you. I’d expect—”

“Turn left on—”

“I’d expect nothing less,” he finishes, lowering the volume of his pesky GPS. “Must be surreal, if anything.” The robotic voice is still present, but becomes more of a background noise that allows them both to speak freely. 

“Oh yeah, completely. It’s like ... it’s like I can’t feel them yet, like movement wise, but ... I don’t know. I guess ... obviously I know they’re in there, but even without movement I can feel them. I know they’re present, heartbeat and everything. Does this – is any of this making sense?”

“Yeah,” he quips amusingly, “it is. Even if it didn’t, doesn’t matter. It makes sense to you and that’s more than enough validation.” 

“Mmm. Right, but it’s still nice to have someone understand.”

Harry sneaks a glance in his peripheral, inhaling and exhaling as to settle into the moment. “I know—”

“In 500 feet, keep right—” 

“What was, uh—” he digs into another topic, the robotic voice somehow a savior that refreshes the conversation. “What you said on the phone about ... Sin City, I think it was?”

“What?”

“You said something about being picked up near Sin City? From your work to your appointment? I thought there might’ve been a store or somethin’ near your job, but I don’t think I saw anything like that.”

“Sin ... oh!” The woman laughs, slapping her knee consciously. “Cindy Sydney. She’s my ... well, yeah, I guess she’s my friend.”

“Cindy Sydney?” he repeats, slowly enunciating every syllable so as to make sure he’s got it right. “Huh. Eh ... that airport story makes more sense. Didn’t know who you were talking about.”

“Yeah, my bad. I know I tend to ramble, probably explains why no one calls me anymore. They can’t even understand what I’m saying.”

“I understood!” he proclaims, expression of his pride lacing around his lazy smile. “Yeah, got it now. Cindy Sydney. That’s really her name? Like ... Phillip Phillips?” 

“No.” The woman laughs, almost choking on her water. “N-No, it’s ... I don’t know her name, to be honest. One of them might be it.”

“Wh—how do you not know?”

“Okay, so basically, I met her maybe a month and a half ago? Somewhere around two months, I guess. And it wasn’t like this everyday sort of meeting at, say, a retail store or something. Can you believe that one night I wake up to use the bathroom I half-pay for, and this woman who I’ve never seen before comes out, no pants, maybe underwear, and what I now assume to be Aaron’s shirt?”

“Aaron?” Harry questions nonchalantly, as though the thought of him is of half-importance. “What, like a—”

“Yeah, so, he usually never brings anyone home. If anything, he’ll go over to someone else’s and come back really early in the morning. So, picture me, pregnant, really loopy because I have to pee, half-awake mind you, running into a complete stranger in my own home.”

Harry adds dramatically, “In the middle of the night!”

“Exactly! So, while I’m tiredly freaking out, trying to not literally piss myself, she’s apologizing and introducing herself. I don’t know if I heard Cindy or Sydney, hence why she’s both, but it could be neither. Anyway, we ended up talking in the hallway and I told her about my situation and why I was living with Aaron. She was actually really nice and offered to drive me whenever I needed a ride.”

“Hmm. Interesting how that played out.” He shoots her a look, to which she can only shrug. “Why haven’t you asked Aaron what her name is?”

“I did! I think he’s annoyed that I befriended his one night stand because he told me her name was Sierra. Then again, he probably doesn’t know himself.”

“Jesus. Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

“Oh, it’s too late for that. I’ll just be extremely awkward. I really do feel bad about it though. She is a nice person, except for, y’know, cancelling on a pregnant woman. I mean, it’s not a huge deal or anything, but ... c’mon. Would you ever do something like that?”

“Dunno,” he playfully smirks, “Maybe if she forgot my name...”

“I didn’t forget it! I never knew it!”

“I’m joking, I’m joking. But I have noticed that you like to play the, uh, the pregnant card a lot.”

“Oh yeah!” she fixes her position on the seat, pulling the seatbelt to her preferred adjustment. “Not a doubt about it. Coming from a place where no one really took me seriously. I mean, yeah, maybe I was a little dramatic when I was younger, but that shouldn’t invalidate my feelings. Now it’s like ... you have to take me seriously. Not only am I going to raise a child on my own, I’m literally growing said child inside of me. Isn’t that just ... just fucking amazing?”

Harry stops at the red stoplight, which he is glad for, because now he can look over and mesmerize at her. He can see before him a woman who smiles at the window, water bottle between her thighs, hands on her belly. It’s grown a bit, he thinks, and it is truly, wonderfully, unimaginably powerful.

“Yeah,” he silently agrees, “fuckin’ amazing.”

The woman smiles, but her wandering eyes suddenly widen with worry. She holds her hands out, an aura around her belly as she props an inch forward. “Did I...” she thinks aloud, “I didn’t ask you how you were doing today. How are you, Harry?”

She looks at him with features full of soft inquiry. The now green light ever so symbolic, he wonders how magical such a mundane thing must be in the dark of the night. “M’ alright,” he answers, pressing on the gas, somewhat wishing that the drive never ends. “Thank you for asking.”

~

Her angled feet dangle from her seat on the examination table. Harry sits in front of her on a separate chair, leaning back in a position juiced with supremacy. His index finger taps against his lips in sync with the tick of the black and white wall clock. 

“So, you work as an orthodontist?”

She looks to Harry with her body stiff in discomfort. “No,” she answers, noticeably quieter in such a mellow area. “Just at the office. I’m a receptionist. Didn’t go to like ... an orthodontist school or anything. Even if I did, I’d probably still be there. Probably takes a lot of years.”

“Right,” he agrees. “A receptionist, then? Do you like it?”

“Sure. It’s not my dream job, but it pays the bills. Plus, I get along with everyone in the office. They’re like ... my distant second family.”

“Alright...” he gradually begins to smile. “What’s your dream job then?”

The woman shrugs, so quickly that it is considerably sad. “I don’t know. I went to community college undecided.”

“What did you graduate in?”

“Well, I got my A.A., but beyond that I haven’t ... finished. I transferred to the nearest University but after a semester or two I just ... I just didn’t finish.” She looks to her lap where her fingers play with the material of her blouse. Harry discreetly frowns at her dejected expression, an ambience of regret seeping out of her system. “It’s hard enough for people to get a job with a Bachelor’s degree. Competition is high, especially in Los Angeles. I’m lucky as it is with just my A.A.”

“Yeah. I understand. M’ sorry for bringing it up. Didn’t mean to pry.”

Her features immediately shine with worry. “No, it’s completely fine. I’m the same way. Always curious.” She forces a laugh, but the intention is sincere enough. “If anything, thank you for asking, or even ... caring at all. Not a lot of people show an interest in me, especially not after this one.”

She points an accusatory finger to her belly, which he takes as another opportunity to marvel. It is so fascinating to him, as he believes it would be to anybody. This power she holds, the strength she gives off. This strange and endearing woman who he had met by questionable circumstances of fate – she opens his eyes to something he’s not quite sure of yet.

“Anyway, being a receptionist is fine for me,” she continues. “I’m basically Pam Beasley except knocked up and without a Jim Halpert. I mean, she was pregnant twice, but by then she was already married.”

Harry narrows his eyes. “I’m sorry, who?”

“Oh ... um, The Office reference.”

“Ah. Alright. Still haven’t seen it.”

“Finished the series again. At least Pam wasn’t a receptionist forever.” She allows her eyes to wander around the room. “...Thanks for coming in with me,” she offers, meekly smiling amidst a thick, awkward air. “I’m sorry if it’s super weird, they’re probably going to assume you’re the dad, so just so you know—”

“Oh—” 

“Just so you can be prepared—”

“Right, no, it’s fine. It’s good. That’s fine.”

“...Really?”

“Of course. I mean ... like, I’m not the father, duh, but it’s harmless. I’m honored to be here with you either way.” 

She looks down to her belly, where her freshly painted nails – she’d recoated for the special occasion – search tenderly. “I didn’t ... picture it like this. Not everyone wants to have a baby, or get married, or things like that. But those who do ... you just can’t help but picture it, y’know? You dream about your wedding, what the venue will look like, what you’ll dance to or wear. Or when you have a kid, you imagine that first look. Your first look at your baby to know they’re actually in there, and you can almost see your whole future right before your eyes.”

By now, Harry is in a trance of both comprehension and disbelief. For him, it is difficult to find people in which he can relate his thoughts to; someone he can honestly understand. With the spontaneous flow of his life, he isn’t able to picture the future as he once did at 16. Yet, as her defenseless words spew out, he contemplates the quick flash in his eyes.

She smiles, and though it does not reach her eyes, it is authentic in the purest sense. “I ... wish the circumstances were different. No one ever really wants to picture it like this.”

He doesn’t find offense in her honestly, no matter how poorly she constructs it. If anything, with his entire body and soul, he aches to turn back time. “I understand,” he says, because while she most certainly does not need or depend on the father, she had pictured it differently. He knows that she had pictured herself to be in love instead of broken and built up again. She doesn’t need him, but she wants him, at least a little bit. It is for that that he can never entirely hate him.

“...Except you,” she confesses shyly. “And I’m not just saying that for obvious reasons. If you weren’t here, I’d be alone. I probably wouldn’t even be here. That’s why I’m always thanking you, because it really does mean more than you can imagine. Being alone is fine, I can sort of manage, but ... it’s nicer to have someone with you, y’know?”

“...Yeah.” Harry blushes, failing to cover it up with a cough and a sniffle. “I’m ... I know. I understand.”

The sound of the door unlatching rattles their bodies. “Hi!” the doctor storms in, breaking their moment. The two of them smile, the pregnant woman nods as her name from the lips of the lady in the form of a question. “This must be papa?”

The pregnant woman silently snickers at her oh-so-psychic abilities. She offers Harry a witty raise of the brow, but due to the blindness of her pride, she fails to recognize the cheeky glint in his eyes. As she opens her mouth to deny the doctor’s innocent assumption, Harry chimes in and steals her words. Except, they’re not her words at all.

“Yes,” he announces, his accent supplying to the playful sarcasm of his tone. “Yes, that is me. As Maury would say ... I am the father.” 

To say she is shocked ... well, it is not all that off-character. Harry is a humorous man, one that loves to entertain. The statement makes her do a double-take, jaw opening with a single throaty chuckle. He responds with an animated grin and cartoon wink – how can she not play along?

“Right.” She nods. “This is my baby daddy ... Halpert.”

Harry snickers, but covers it with a cough. “Halpert. Yes. Says so on my birth certificate.”

The doctor smiles at them both, amused by their charade. She has probably seen many acts in this office, so she lets their humor be. Besides that, she begins by asking a few simple questions, reconfirming everything before directing the woman to lie on her back.

“Sorry I didn’t dress practically,” she discloses, “I just came from work. Didn’t really have time to change, or even think about bringing clothes to change into.”

“It’s no problem. We’ll just open this up...” The doctor starts with the lowest button on her blouse, continuing to undo the following three. “And lower this down a little,” she continues, carefully dragging the upper part of her pencil skirt down until her belly is nicely exposed.

The pregnant woman tries to ignore the discomfort that she feels. Firstly, lying on her back is a nightmare without her pillow. Secondly, with her blouse pried open, a mere centimeter of her bra peaks out. Harry sitting next to her is the third basis of her discomfort, intense concentration on his part with the upmost awareness. The fourth, the icing on the cake, is like literal icing. While the doctor had told her to prepare for the cool gel, it doesn’t make it any less frosty on her skin.

Despite it all, her minds swivels around a haze. The doctor’s equipment runs along her stomach, eager to discover. Her hands clench without her noticing. She feels as if her lungs run out of oxygen – she forgets to breathe! Nothing is important to her other than what the doctor has to say about what can be seen on that unreadable screen, the one where she strains her neck to catch even a glimpse of meaningless motion.

She looks to the doctor, taking in every feature that may indicate something, anything. She momentarily forgets about Harry, who leans forward in his seat, risking everything by placing a hand over her knuckles. She doesn’t notice. All she can focus on is the doctor’s smile.

“Found them,” she announces, continuing her movement with more confidence than before. 

“You...” the pregnant woman’s chest deflates. Her breath hitches, needing more than two words to convince her that everything is okay. “...You found?”

“Yes. There’s the head,” the doctor points to the screen, brown muck never more beautiful. “the body...” The woman listens, matching up the body part with the picture on the screen. A wave of newfound contentment vanishes every worry away – almost, because really, she can’t help herself. “Everything looks great, mama.”

“Mom...” she stumbles out, swallowing thickly as her fingers fall loose. She shakes her head, overcome with every emotion she’s ever known on top of those that are entirely new to her.

Harry smiles at her, noticing the light drips swaying down her cheeks. “That’s your baby,” he says, disregarding the possibility of destroying his cover as Halpert. He himself begins to empathize with this woman, this calm of a storm that he’s only known for a few short weeks. “Congratulations.”

“C—” She can’t seem to tear her eyes away from the screen, the ache in her neck multiplying, but she just doesn’t care. “My baby...” she speaks softly, the room almost entirely silent, but still it feels like there are a million things going on at once. And yes, she is smiling. She is over the moon, over this entire universe and the next. It is dangerous territories to be so elevated, and she knows this to be true when she begins to feel the low.

~

A bitter California sun never truly settles. When she walks out of the imaging center, heels scraping against the dry and jagged sidewalk, she winces and sighs. Her blouse now intact, her skirt lifted again, but the residue of the gel makes it stick to her skin more than any perspiration. In her hands, she holds onto the envelope with the printed pictures of her son or daughter – she doesn’t know yet. With the baby’s position, it had been a little hard to tell. She’s relieved for it though. There had only been so much that she could absorb in such a short, life-changing moment. 

Harry follows after her, already with his shaded sunglasses scooted close to his face. He mimics her position as she leans against the side of the Toyota, staring down at an enclosed envelope. Very steadily, she lifts the flap open and slides the picture out, running a thumb over the body of her child. 

“Sorry you couldn’t find out the gender today,” he speaks up, observing the way she cradles the print. It is natural, the way she possesses that tender quality of a mother. “Must have ... must be—”

“It’s fine,” she says, not wanting to hear the end of his sentence. “It’s not like I’ll never know.” 

“Right.”

“Right.”

“Good. Still a beautiful moment, eh?”

“Yeah...”

“Thank you for letting me be a part of it.”

She looks up at him, but the connection is blocked by his sunglasses. She smiles either way. “You’re welcome. That sounds weird to be saying.”

He looks down, ankles crossed, hands in his pocket. “I know I can’t, um ... ever know what you’re feeling, but ... how are you feeling?”

“...Good?”

“What I mean is ... I’ve never been to an ultrasound. I’ve been friends with lots of pregnant women, and I know that doesn’t mean I have a clue about ... I just, for the moments like these, I imagine the woman to be happy. Happier than happy, and I just ... I don’t know. How are you feeling?”

A period of elongated seconds pass as the pregnant woman considers his talk. Birds chirp, an ambulance sounds in the near distance, and the faintest wind kisses her face with the leaves of the rustling trees. “I’m ... happy,” she answers truthfully, closing her eyes as the burn in her chest rises up her throat and to her nose.

“And...” Harry presses on, noticing how her answer hangs off the edge of a cliff.

She swallows, face molding like a ceramic statue on which the rain pours. “...And scared.” Her voice quivers. She doesn’t want to open her eyes. She’s far too cowardly to envision the colors. 

Harry stands still, watching as she unravels the rawest parts of her. He doesn’t want to ask why – it should be obvious to everyone. She is a single mother-to-be. Her life is moving quicker than she could have ever imagined. Of course, she is scared. It would be strange of her not to be. Therefore, he doesn’t ask, but instead calls to her. In a faint second, she breathes in, coming alive to the world again. Her shaky hands wipe frantically at her blinking eyes, a sorry attempt to erase the remnants of her weakness.

“God...” she scoffs. “I can’t – why am I crying? This is so dumb.”

Harry shakes his head, his entire body now turning to her. “No, it’s not. So, you’re scared. Everyone is. I am. Why wouldn’t you want to be scared?”

“Because I don’t know what I’m doing!” she bellows, entirely turning to him. As her words sink in and flow on, he slides off his glasses, letting them hang from the fine stitch of his t-shirt collar. “Or – or what I’m going to do. I’m ... I was a child yesterday. That’s what it felt like. I was ... searching for independence and purpose and now I’m...” A breath trickles out. “I don’t want to ruin this child, Harry. But I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing.”

“No,” Harry argues. “No, you won’t. I know you won’t. You’re going to do everything you possibly can for your child. That alone makes you an incredible mum.” By now, his hands are on her shoulders, thumbs absentmindedly smoothening her nerves. “And incredible mums don’t know the answer to everything, that’s what makes them so incredible. They don’t know anything!”

She sniffles at the sidewalk. “Yours does,” she mumbles, indicating how well-rounded she sees this kind man. The manner in which he had been raised ... he is a foundation for reckless excellence.

“To be fair, I’m her second child,” he reasons, even tittering a little. “When she had my sister, she didn’t know what she was doing ... but she learned. Even after all these years, she’s still learning. You can’t expect yourself to be perfect ... at least, perfect without any flaws. You’re scared, that’s ... it’s important. You can’t skip that stage, alright?”

She reluctantly nods, but she has to admit to herself that his charisma is magical. To be a mother at her age – perhaps it is not uncommon. Yet, it is a vague new-coming of an experience. This growth that she possesses, her body ever-changing in the autumn to spring, the little person that will resemble parts of her and no one else. If that is not a future more uncertain...

“You’re going to be excellent. An excellent mum. And you’re not alone. You have Aaron. Maybe Cindy Sydney Sierra, if her aunt’s not visiting ... and you always have a friend in me.”

...but how sad it would be to plan every waking moment and every dying night. How safe it would feel to stumble upon no surprise. In the end, a future without uncertainty is no future at all. She doesn’t know what she will do when her baby fusses and whines and drives their mother to insanity. Previously oblivious of the happiness it will bring, the overwhelming flutter in her chest is a euphoric feeling like no other. To love another person unconditionally, entirely – to be loved in return – that is the greatest and only certainty she will never need.

[lokidiabolus]

Offline Age - Chapter 1

Fandom: Dragon Age Origins

Pairing: Alistair Theirin x Elissa Cousland

Summary:   Alistair was never really a lone wolf or anything, but having a place only for himself had its appeal. He didn't plan on taking responsibility for anybody in upcoming years, until one fateful night his doorbell decided to wake him up at 2 AM and show him he was so, so wrong.

OR

How Alistair subconsciously harbored mother hen tendencies towards completely unknown person in five minutes and then fell in love so hard it almost broke all bones in his body.

Warnings: Slow Burn, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Tons of overused tropes, Prequel to Online Age

Can be found on Ao3.

Notes: No beta, we die like men!

I blame it all on the so called trailer for Dragon Age 4 that made me: 1) Feel the need to write for Dragon Age again; 2) Realize I left Online Age in disarray; 3) Re-read it and get horrified of the sheer absurdity of the middle part and so many absolutely pointless dialogues; 4) Spend a week editing it; 5) Start playing Dragon Age Inquisition again and romancing Cullen again; 6) Feel a heart ache when seeing King Alistair showing up in Redcliffe being flawless; and 7) Start to write randomly about him while playing Dragon Age Origins (because I hate myself. And Deep Roads).

So yeah, all the trailer's fault. And idk, I just really love Alistair, okay :(

Also a note: so many tropes here. SO MANY.

And another note: This is connected to Online Age, but it's sort of a prequel (aka about uh several years back, 5 or 10 or something), this time about (super young) Alistair and his one-day-to-be-wife-he-would-gush-about-to-everybody

It was precisely 2:12 AM, Alistair checked when Hell called, telling him they want their bad puns back. The coherence of apprehending the situation dropped to its lowest around midnight and dragged onward, he was glad he made his legs and arms cooperate enough to lift his sore, sleepy body off the bed, walk it to the main door of his flat and reach for the handle on the third try.

He didn’t really expect anything in particular, a half of his half functioning brain was still sleeping, so when he opened without checking first and saw a small, head to toe drenched girl shivering on his doorstep, nothing came from him apart from huh?

“Hi,” the girl greeted him with chattering teeth. Her blond hair was plastered over her forehead and around her neck and shoulders and there was an undeniable moment of oh crap, this is why I should not watch horrors late at night before Alistair woke up enough to realize the girl was not a ghost but a real, living person. Standing in a puddle, in pyjamas?

“Are those pyjamas?” his brain farted out and the girl opened her mouth, stopped, closed it, looked at her clothes consisting of plaid pants hanging on her lips too loosely and a shirt with Pooh Bear on it, and then back at him.

“Yes,” she said after. “They had them on sale.”

“K,” his brain supplied unhelpfully. “Hi then.”

“Yeah, hi,” she repeated the greeting and the shivering multiplied. “Sorry to bother you. But didn’t you, um. Left your water on or… your washing machine or something?”

“Not that I know of,” Alistair turned back to the innards of his flat, and the only noise that greeted him back was the clock on the wall, ticking its minute way through the dial. It showed wrong time but he was not able to correct it for about year and half. He looked back. “Why?”

“Why do you think?” she stared at him in the dark corridor, water dripping from her Pooh Bear shirt and Alistair could swear he saw the loading icon in front of his eyes for a second, before he raised a hand and went back to the flat to check on the bathroom.

No leaks, everything was quiet and peaceful. He double checked the taps and toilet and when nothing looked even remotely broken or dripping, he returned back to the door, now almost awake.

“Nope,” he told her with a shrug. “All dry up here.”

“I see,” she stared some more, then slowly nodded. “Sorry to bother you. Thanks for looking.”

She turned around and started padding from her puddle to the elevator, leaving wet footprints in her wake. Back to the flooded flat or something? Alistair shook his head, quickly grabbed his keys and followed her.

“Wait a sec,” he dropped his voice as low as he could to be still hearable but not enough to alert the neighbours, and she looked at him with a frown.

“What.”

“Lemme look at the leak,” he insisted despite her unhappy scowl. “Maybe I can help.”

The frown deepened and the elevator dinged, the light from it when the door slid open almost blinded him. She got in, crossed her arms on her chest and sighed.

“Fine,” she motioned for him to follow her, so he did. “But since it’s not from your place, there’s no point, really.”

“Story of my life.”

She looked even more pitiful under the artificial light and unusually pale, almost sickly. He refrained from commenting on it, but it took lots of his self-control, especially when she looked at him like he had lost his mind.

Her flat was on the lower floor right under his, which made her a lucky lady, since he was rarely at home to make any sort of noise that would bother her, at least from above. The name on the bell read Cousland and when she unlocked the door and opened, the smell of wet paint hit him right in the face. It took them only few steps inside towards the bathroom and he already saw the flood from there, dripping from the wall behind the bath, ruining the red coloured wall and tiles.

“Uh oh,” he let out, stepping in to assess the damage and the water under his feet splashed too loud in the otherwise quiet flat. “The pipe must have broken above there.”

“Oh no,” she walked in as well, her face horrified. “So, it’s not from somebody’s flat, it’s somewhere inside the construction?”

“Yep,” he stood up on the edge of the bath, pulling himself higher to the ceiling to see any cracks. “For now, let’s just turn off the water here. And in the morning, we call a landlord about this.”

“He’s going to kill me…” she buried her face in her hands and Alistair stepped down again to find the water lock hidden in the wall behind the toilet.

“Nah, it’s not your fault,” he said for the record, “This is an old house. He should let it checked anyway, the construction is ancient enough to remember dragons.”

“Are you a plumber or something?” he heard her asking behind him and it made him snort while closing the water with a quiet hiss. The wall stopped gushing out and he closed the lid and looked at the distressed owner.

“Wish I was, I heard the pay is good,” he shrugged, wiping his wet hands to his shirt. “But I know a thing or two about house stuff. And few other things around. And lots of things completely unrelated.”

“Right,” she shook her head and looked around at the mess on the floor. “Thanks for the help. I better start cleaning before it soaks to the neighbours…”

“Want help?” he offered faster than his common sense kicked in and that’s how it all began.

***

“-tair. Alistair!”

He almost fell off the chair when a slam on the table startled him from the definitely-not-dozing-off moment, just sheer luck managed to keep him balanced enough from meeting the floor.

“I wasn’t sleeping!” he announced in self-defence and then Duncan’s unhappy face came to his view.

“Didn’t I tell you not to stay up past midnight?” Duncan crossed his arms on his chest and Alistair realized it was already past eleven when he looked at his watch, and he somehow missed two hours. By totally not sleeping.

“Yeah, sorry,” she rubbed his eyes and fought down the yawn that threatened to overwhelm him. He still must have made weird face since Duncan’s scowl deepened.

“Wipe the drool away at least,” the dark-haired man sighed, handing Alistair a napkin out of nowhere, like an ultimate mum he was sometimes. “I’m making the roster now, you want the long shift this week or another one?”

Alistair was completely sure he did not have drool anywhere, but still used the napkin for Duncan’s satisfaction. For his defence he did go to sleep around eleven, but after the debacle with the flood he didn’t get back to sleep at all. When they were more or less done (actually less than more, the flat was in super bad shape, since apparently the leaks weren’t only in the bathroom) it was already six in the morning, so he just went home for shower and to brush his teeth and then kicked himself out to work. His eyes barely held up open during the morning meeting and he thanked whoever was above him for not dragging it for too long, or continue with a drill. He would fail so hard that Duncan would probably disown him on the spot.

“This week,” he mumbled, but then his hand shot towards Duncan’s forearm to stop him from leaving. “No, next week. Totally next week. Can’t this week.”

“Okay?” the older man glanced on the hand gripping him and then back at Alistair’s face. “Will write you up for a short one then. Something happened?”

Well, to put it mildly. The landlord was going to bark on a wrong tree, he was sure, and the girl would let him, probably, not really knowing where the real fault was. So he had a plan. Or part of a plan, at least, making it up as he went.

“Do we have my house’ construction plans by any chance?” he asked and when Duncan cleared his throat while pointedly looking at Alistair offensive hand, he finally eased off his grip with an apologetic quirk of his mouth.

“In the archive,” his mentor nodded towards the estimated location, then crossed his arms on his chest. “Why?”

When Alistair was looking for his own flat, Duncan helped him with choosing between three possible places by finding the construction plans, because if he could be labelled by anything, it would be precautious. Old houses are the best, he would say. So they dug into plans, found the ones that looked the best in Duncan’s opinion and Alistair moved in with light heart. No problems until yesterday, but then again, not really his problem, so that counted for something.

“Just want to look up the piping,” Alistair dragged himself up from the table. “I’ll be there if anything.”

“Do I look like your secretary?” Duncan hollered after him, but Alistair was already out of the room and only hitting his shoulder against two doors on his way. It was a small, meaningless victory, but victory the same.

***

He got out on the floor under his own because of some strange, unexplainable calling he heard in the back of his mind (or maybe it was his stomach because he was hungry). He wanted to stop home at first, take a shower and eat, but somehow his hand pressed the lower button in the elevator instead of his and he was glad for it, because when the door opened, he heard the angry voice of the landlord all the way to the cabin.

“Here we go,” he huffed, packing the copied plans under his arm and taking long strides toward the offensive voice that rang through the hallway so loud it was probably illegal.

“-for two months and you already flooded it?!” the landlord kept on barking, up until he came into Alistair’s view, standing in front of opened doors of the compromised flat, his stance all wide and up in arms. Alistair internally groaned.

The girl stood in front of him, dry for the first time he saw her, in a hoodie and khakis. Her hair was in a messy bun and she looked even more tired than Alistair felt.

“I didn’t flood anything,” she was saying the moment he finally stepped close enough for them to notice him. “I- oh, hey.”

“Hey,” Alistair gave her small salute and nodded towards the landlord. He saw him about twice since he started living here and kind of doubted the man even remembered his face. “Afternoon.”

“Are you here because of the leak?” the man gestured towards the flat, his eyes a little confused. “I’m sure I didn’t call firefighters though…”

Oh right, Alistair realized. He was still in the uniform, since he shot out of work without changing. Well, that worked too.

“I’m familiar with the situation,” he elaborated, making a show of looking into the flat like he was assessing the damage. He already did yesterday though and could tell it sucked balls for the repairs needed. The landlord was so not going to like it. “Looked over the construction plans, the pipes are damaged in the proximate area of the bathroom and living room. The wall needs to be torn down and the piping repaired.”

“Torn down?!” the landlord probably only by small margin avoided heart-attack, judging from his red face and the vein popping on his forehead. Alistair was glad he had the ambulance on quick dial.

“The bathroom one definitely, the water damaged it. I’d advice to have them checked as it is in the whole house, but of course that can be done through stacks for that part,” he handed one of the plans to the landlord who reluctantly took them and had to applaud himself for actually sounding serious so far. “The piping is old and rusty, random breaks happen all the time. I can point you out to a company dealing with these types of problems, though since the Christmas is coming, I’m not entirely sure how fast it’s going to be.”

The landlord opened his mouth, and then closed it. He repeated it two more times until it was apparent no words were going to come out, and then he settled on a nod.

“Great, glad we came to an understanding,” Alistair gave him a broad smile. “I’ll send you the company’s number in a text, in case you wanted to use their services. Happy to see landlords are taking care of their houses and tenants.”

Another nod from the poor man and then he was out of the hallway like a wind. Alistair wondered if he thought firefighter could actually send him to jail for disagreeing but he wasn’t going to try his luck.

“Huh,” the girl stared after the landlord even after he disappeared around the corner. “That worked like a charm. Good idea with the uniform.”

“What can I say, I aim to please,” Alistair commented and then took a step further to take her appearance in. “You’re dry.”

“Yeah, shocking,” her mouth quirked up in a smile. “I can do that sometimes.”

“I feel like I don’t even know you anymore,” he sighed dramatically but then it hit him. “Wait, I really don’t know you. What’s your name?”

“Elissa,” she introduced herself just like that, in her khakis and a hoodie and looking like she went through hell and kicked her way back, and somehow Alistair expected her to have tougher name, like Boulder or Killer.

“That’s a fine name,” he gestured towards her, to her whole appearance and the abundance of the puddle under her feet. “I’m disappointed it’s not something waterier though.”

“Waterbenders don’t have water names, you know,” she shot back and Alistair crossed arms on his chest.

“Elissa,” he tried her name and she mimicked his posture like a mirror. “As a waterbender… I gotta say, after what I’ve seen tonight, you suck at it.”

“Still learning,” she opposed. “Next time the pipe breaks, I will be ready.”

“I hope there is no next time,” he nodded towards the flat. “Don’t think it can take any more.”

That made her lose the posture as she followed his gaze and her shoulders sagged. It was a sad image, really.

“This suck,” she uttered. “It had been just two months. I have the shittiest luck ever.”

“As long as you don’t wind up somewhere without your pants, you’re still alright.” He took a step closer to the door, the smell of paint still hanging in the air. He noticed a packed bag resting in the hallway with a suitcase next to it and several shirts lying on the floor, soaking the moisture from it. The hallway itself looked super bad, the water completely ruined the laminate flooring, made it look like a skateboard park for snails. “Oof.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” she stood next to him, staring at the mess. “When I need a quiet place, something naturally has to go wrong. And expensive. Hope it won’t take long.”

“Yeaah, about that,” he offered her an apologetic look, even though it was not his fault, or hers, or anybody’s, and she must have understood since the groan she let out had enough frustration to lit up a town.

“You mean it’s going to take long?” she whined so loud he heard a door opening at the end of the hall, probably to look what the ruckus was.

“Well. It’s almost Christmas. And if you take in the state of the flat – and the piping – and the walls… That’s gonna take at least two months,” he checked once more, stopping at the floor. “And the flooring. And tiles in the bathroom.”

The majority of tiles fell off during their night cleaning, and most of them naturally broke in half. Elissa didn’t comment on it back then, but she definitely stomped harder when carrying the empty bucket to fill it up again.

“Okay,” she sagged even more, almost to her knees. “Alright. Okay.”

Alistair didn’t like that. Sure, he saw tons of misfortune in his life already, majority of it tied to his job and some of it not, but he couldn’t really do much about complete strangers losing their homes to fire. All he could do for them was to pat their back and wish them luck. When all of their stuff was gone.

Elissa’s stuff was not gone, but she was in similar situation. If she could at least go back to her parents or something, he’d be able to rest easy.

“You have a place to stay?” he asked in a softer tone and she nodded. Then took a deep breath. Shook her head. He took a step closer and crouched next to her. “Not even your parent’s place?”

“No,” her words were barely hearable. Then she cleared her throat and shook her head again. “I’ll manage.”

“You can stay at my place, if you want,” his mouth said.

Huh.

“What?” she looked at him as if he’d gone mad (rightfully so).

“My place,” his mouth repeated. Huh. “I’m not home that often, it’s better than nothing?”

She had big, blue eyes. She used them in full force now, staring at him so hard he was afraid a fist was going to come out of them.

“You don’t need to do all this,” she said finally and Alistair thought yes, I don’t need to do all of this. But I do. Because you look like somebody just died, good grief.

“You woke me up at ass o’clock in the morning and kept me up all night cleaning, now I feel emotionally invested in it. Sorry, I don’t make the rules,” he responded instead, light-hearted and nonchalant, and it was the first time he saw her genuinely laugh.

[howimetyourfather]

Enjoy the Journey, Not the Destination

April 14, 2022

About a week ago, I’d come across a cute guy on FB. His name is Randall. We had mutual friends, mostly from an Asian-American Manhattan FB group that I’m a part of and your Uncle Lexus. 

His Instagram is on his FB profile so I scope it out and saw he was featured in a Buzzfeed video. Great, loved his energy. It would give me the perfect Segway to slide into his DMs. 

Turns out he’s also born and raised in NYC but from Staten Island!! What are the odds?

We click in the ways that there’s a back and forth conversation, he’s at least asking me questions about myself (which HAS to signify that he likes me, right?)

But then your Uncle Lexus says he’s been getting DMs from other girls, he’s trying to keep a low profile and wanting the video to die down.

I asked if he’d be open to trading numbers so he gave me his WHICH ALSO HAS TO MEAN HE Has to be a TINY bit interested in me and a tiny bit trusting of me to give out such information. 

Yeah, I wish maybe we texted more but the quality of our conversations is one I can’t complain about. 

Uncle Lexus says keep it casual, “regardless if you’re together or not he’s a good friend to have.”

Is it wrong I don’t need/want more male friends though? I especially don’t need/want, nor do I have, male friends I’m attracted to. 

I have two male friends, your Uncle Jason (who’s gay) and your Uncle Sharod (who’s taken and the most wonderful person. Like he’d be your godfather)

And kids, your mom is trying...

Trying to put herself out there, working on herself through therapy, and trying to enjoy singledom (am I really though? IDK). But I’m trying to be version of myself who can attract good people and have a fulfilling life. 

I’ve been going to Happy Hour (found out a different guy (Peter) who gave me his number was married A WEEK AFTER we had been texting)

Like what?? The audacity? I can only hope things are better by the time you need to find partners. 

This is all to say there’s hot garbage everywhere. In person and online. 

IT’S FUCKING 10:02AM AND RANDALL JUST TEXTED and I ahhhhhhhhh, literally as I’m writing this entry for ya. 

Now the overthinker and analyzer in me feels like everything needs to have an endgame. Dating with intention. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been so wronged by the messy of lack of intention that it’s a trauma response to not be able to enjoy the ride. 

I would enjoy It more if I knew this was leading to something. 

Your aunt Kirstin said “Well you know what it could be, some kinda trauma response of let’s just skip to the end when you (guy) fuck this up- show me your colors now before I waste my time and feelings”

To that I completely agree. I want to know now before I’m invested. 

But even as Kirstin said that, damn... It really made me think how on the defense my brain has become. 

In its most simplistic form, this “talking” is leading to something. A lesson, a 

AND AS I’M TYPING THIS Peter LITERALLY JUST TEXTED ME AS WELL. Ten minutes apart from Randall. Talk about manifestation? Or the the power the mind has to be linked. 

As I was saying, every interaction leads to something. Does it always have to mean something? In some small cosmic way, yeah I think so. 

Because a week ago, I didn’t know Randall. 

I’m so used to the fiery, passion of high and low roller coaster of emotions that come with getting to know someone on dating apps that this slow burn approach with Randall is so foreign to me.

Your uncle Lexus asked if I was interested in Randall and I’m trying to approach dating now in my mid 20s different than my early 20s.

Am I interested? My gut reaction is to say yeah...

 But how can I possibly be interested in someone I don’t really know? So I want to get to know him but the snail pace of slow is SO hard for your mom.

It’s probably healthier though, if we’re being honest. We’re not in constant communication but we have quality conversation (as I said earlier).

The serotonin high isn’t long-lasting when it comes to Randall and I don’t feel like I have to respond right away. Even if I could/would. 

Maybe it’s because of this new approach that I’m treating what I am building with Randall so preciously. If there even is anything to build and I don’t know. 

I’ve told you before that 20 seconds of insane courage is all you need. But I’m stuck between “patience is a virtue/ good things come to those who wait” and “fortune favors the bold”

Where’s the middle ground? There must have been a war general who knew the balance of both.

Because YOLO and shoot ya shot and whAT IF I DO GET HIT BY A BUS? I’m supposed to just take it for granted that I’ll live tomorrow?

Perhaps my texting Randall was a means of being bold. I marry the two concepts because I default to action and am (trying to) being patient for the results. 

There is a next step but I don't need to rush into it. And that’s what I’m struggling with. What’s the rush? I’ve been single this long and I’m doing fine. 

I need to take a step to breathe and appreciate learning if I like Randall enough to continue having him in my life. 

Love always, 

Mom

[survivor-ingary]

Episode 2 - "I DON'T WANT THE MYSTERY MOUSE-CA-TOOL BESTIE" - Ellie

At the tribal, Ping was voted out of the Pendragon Tribe nearly unamimously. Tribal immunity for this round is Pictionary.

I bet all these bitches know i voted for Keith and now they are going to come kill me in my sleep if i die i blame dylan

yass round 2 i either think im in the best position on this tribe or theyre all secretly coming for me thats all

Tribal went as well as I expected it to go. No major drama. It seems like Keith is in real trouble if we do go to tribal again though which would put me in a very tricky spot. For now, though, I will be trying my best in the upcoming challenge. The problem is, however, timezones and schedules. Jon is going to be our drawer, but he can only do it tonight or in the early afternoon tomorrow which I will not be there for. Additionally, Keith is asleep so we have no idea what his schedule is going to be so we basically had to schedule the challenge without him. And Nya could only do right before the deadline tomorrow which Jon cannot do. I hate this for us, truly. I just hope that Moth and I can rub our brain cells together for this one so that we can pull out a win. OR somehow the other tribes fail horribly. On the bright side, I am finally starting to catch up on Duolingo exercises. They're a lot easier than I thought, but it is still going to be tedious af to save up enough coins for some of the higher end products at the shop. As a final note, I am going to work with Nya in the long term as we promised each other to. Hopefully that actually works out. Time to actually be loyal and be a hero this time around. Need to try something different.

If we lose this challenge, I will be very upset. We went so hard on this challenge!!! I believe that we can at least get second place, but I don't know how crazy the other tribes are. So, let's see what goes on

Ayyyyy soooooooo looks like the four, Colin, me, Ava, and Brayden are officially in an alliance!? I’m really hyped to be working with everybody and already have sights on who should go if we have to go to tribal 👀 but like I’m gonna feel so bad if we go to tribal and I orchestrate a whole plan to take someone out I gotta do it when I’m not in my feels and the planets aren’t fucking with my emotions too heavy. But go alliance ! This means I’ll be able to stay safe until hopefully a merge and hopefully we can avoid a tribe swap till then which I get those vibe from it !! But I’ll be here to survive two more tribals just in case which is pretty rad. Other then that hopefully me offering to draw doesn’t end us up in the bottom and we can keep killing ! But anyways that is it as off know hopefully I have a lot more coins tomorrow morning and I get hit the hat shop bright and motherfucking early.

Just got asked to be apart of an alliance <33333 the besties in the group trust me which maybe ain't the right move but for now we gotta love the bonding. exciting!!!

YAY FOR ROUND 2! Okay, so I meet once again with the Hat Shop and... third times the charm! Except,,, the charm is getting nothing AGAIN lmao I'm not complaining though, still got that extra vote :P I stayed up at 1 AM for this challenge, and I honestly think our team popped off. Anastasia was guessing a ton, and Riley was amazing at drawing real quick! I have a relatively good feeling about our performance, so I hope I wake up to the news of our tribe being immune :D

so yesterday I set myself on a mission to get an alliance. I wanted Ava + Brayden + Toph + me as a majority alliance. it was our day off from tribal so I thought it was the perfect day to do it!! I talked to Brayden about it first because he's the person I feel the most comfortable with, and then after a lot of coordination and careful communication I was able to pull it together!! I think the most important thing when making alliances is making everyone feel like they're a big part in it. So I was careful to ask each person how they feel about the others, about the game, and made a point to say that I wanted to work with them specifically. Some may call that a little manipulative, but I wanna make sure that I'm an essential part of the alliance!! i need everyone to feel like they need/want me there.

all of this happening so soon into the game is a testament to how aggressive I'm playing this time around. I usually like to lay low and just rely solely on my social game in the start, but I'm trying this out to establish myself early on! I wanted to play the tribe leader and I think I'm doing that in a smart and subtle way!!

so yes now we have a 4 person majority alliance named "duolingo owl hate club" because fuck that guy. I think we're the 4 most active and present people on the tribe so it's only natural for us to work together, but I think it's definitely worth noting that I was the one that was pulling the strings here.

We just did the pictionary challenge, I have a good feeling about it!! Toph was an amazing artist, and if we win, all credit rightfully goes to him!! I think the guessers also did great of course, but like come on, the artist has to be the mvp. I'm really hoping we pull through!! I don't mind going to tribal, but I genuinely don't wanna vote anyone out yet. I'm fine just playing the game in a precautionary way. I know I'm in a great position if we do go to tribal, but it's always preferred that we don't go.

Everyone else on my tribe: doing the challenge and kicking ass

Me: I’m sleep

Riley (Tumblr has once again chosen violence so only the first 10 get banners 🥲)

I think our challenge went pretty well! My team were good guessers. Feeling like I've established some Integrity now. Hope it keeps me safe later!

Toph Soooooo we finished the challenge with 32 points and like wig !! I was a quick as drawer for 32pts expect when my internet lagged, but still ! I think we whooped some ass and if we do go to tribal I know it won’t be me going, thanks to Duolingo owl hate club but I’m also worried same could have and advantage because they seem pretty kean on learning a lot in like 3 hours and then tried to cover that statement to not seem so threatening but like babs s a huge threat too apparently they love Duolingo and know 5 laugnes ? This is from brayden but If so go babs ! That’s absolutely iconic for real Life but fucking scary in this game ! I gotta be buddy buddy with them so hopefully if they do have something it won’t be them going home first and it will be Ava. But I’m thinking we might get second place again unless someone is a fucking wizard at this.

Dennis hmm i think we did well enough in the challenge to not see tribal tomorrow but who knows i guess we shall find out tn

the way ellie was so on top of stuff yesterday only to oversleep the challenge makes me giggle maybe shes freaking out about it which makes me also giggle but i dont think its really a big deal

anastasia asked me to call yesterday and i was like sure lets talk but it is damn near impossible to hold a conversation with her idk i tried BUT she did tell me “yeah i just got off a call with ellie” im like i see. she says shes down to work with ellie but that quickly switched from ellie being ~experienced~ but good to know ellie is also playing hard. anastasia also mentioned that she talks to riley a fair amount who i still have yet to connect to well. but dat makes me think ellie is def talking to riley too miss debate team is definitely a talker. but good on her for the social game i guess

kenneth keeps being like haha we’re the same person and im like yeah👁 i bet we are👁

i just wanna win and not think about tribal just keep it slow and chill for now keep learnin my welsh i guess

Ava Second challenge was Pictionary and I had a ton of fun playing. The tea is: toph did a great job. He was pretty vocal about not being a great artist but really I think he did great. However, Babs was super inactive yesterday and ~too late~ said they were a great artist and should've been picked to draw. It was kind of like.... k babs thanks for the belated "help". They did do great guessing which scored a point in my book. Brayden was supposed to play but last minute logged off without saying anything so we did the challenge without him :/ sorta a bummer. Anyway the lack of participation from Sam is kind of popping off so we'll see where that leads them... Overall a fun game and fingers crossed we did well!

Moth I think we did okay at the challenge. Today I am dying from the heatwave so I’m not thinking too straight! Stay cool everyone

Ellie So yesterday Anastasia and I called for about an hour!!! I’d say we’re definitely way closer, she’s someone I really wanna work with although the idea of her and Brayden eventually being on the same tribe is kinda scary cause I know how close they are. Still she’s so fun to talk to and I just love her energy so much!

Pictionary challenge results: Jenkins Tribe wins with Penadragon second, Hatter Tribe has to go to tribal council on the following day.

Ava Well well well seems our bob ross, toph, didn't pull through (y'all think babs would've pulled it out for us or slept through our challenge like they said they almost did?) I can't wait for tribal. I'm in it for the drama. I'm hashtag voting Sam off - didn't even bother to be apart of our challenge and not too sure they've even been online for a full 24 hours. Weed out the weak.....

Anastasia

Brayden https://imgur.com/n60Lz0c

guys i dont know what to do someone help me out

Dennis i hope damn brayden gets the boot

Raffy Woo! We don't have to go to tribal again! We stan!

Ellie So I figured I’d go idol hunting today cause the shop was about to close and I just wanted to see what had been bought and what possible hats there were, I see that there’s a hat I have enough for that hasn’t been bought and I decide fuck it let’s get it

APPARENTLY ITS SOMETHING THAT IM NOT ALLOWED TO KNOW WHAT IT IS OR HOW TO USE IT YET???? THEY SAID ILL FIND OUT ABOUT IT LATER

I DONT WANT THE MYSTERY MOUSE-CA-TOOL BESTIE

Sam Well you see. I like all my tribe people. And I think we did real good on that music video! So, I think rather than voting anyone else off, I think I should just vote myself off if that is possible! Ahhh

Babs So sad to see Sam not only go but go through what they're going through :( same w Toph :( they all seem so lovely

Keith Not sure if i submitted a confession after the last tribal. But if I didnt here it is.

Happy I made it out of that tribal. I had raffy backing me with whom I played. Last time we played. We were at odds. We didnt work together but whats worse that we were against each other. It was either him or me goin out. Hopefully thats the past n we can work together. I jus need to keep things calm n show that Im not here itching to make big moves. So they dont feel threatened by me. N its easy cause right now. I havnt made that kind og bond with anyone on my tribe. To even think of such moves. Lets see what round two holds for me.

Colin so uh

we lost! :(

I was really bummed tbh. Like I thought we did well but circumstances with the challenge were just really unfortunate, from conflict about who wanted to be the artist to people disappearing the moment the challenge started, I think we did well despite all of that. Except we did kinda get stomped anyway. Oh well!! The game moves on. Tribal has to happen.

Initially I was gonna push for Babs, just because I feel like I don't wanna attach myself to them too early on. I've seen how much of a bitter player they can be, and lets just say I'm not the most loyal ally to have. however! 9 minutes after we lost, Ava announces to our alliance that she's voting Sam. I wasn't surprised, Sam has been the one not really pulling their weight. But I had some good connections with her!! we both did colorguard and shes so sweet and easy to talk to. I was really conflicted for a little bit, debating on whether or not to actually push for Babs. I think brayden sensed my hesitance but we both knew there was nothing really I could do to stop Sam from being the vote. At first tribal, the initial name always spreads like wildfire.

However, my mess was stopped abruptly by Sam asking to be voted out. welp!! okay then!! babs stays i guess!! i'm not too bothered. I'll never turn down an easy vote hehe.

Pretty sure there's a swap tonight. I'm kinda scared of that

uwu

Brayden

i almost forgot to upload this but dont worry i just remembered

Colin screams

Toph So we’re going to tribal in 20 and all I have to say right now is if there is a tribe swap after I’m gonna so scared but I ducking called I had a vibe and it was right that’s what is gonna win me this game trusting my intuition. I’m holding on now and gonna be the biggest comp beast next challenge in case I get fucked on this swap !!!! Or at least if it is a swap 🤔

Riley I don't know what this announcement's gonna be I'm worriedddd... Ginny said it probably means we're swapping teams but I don't wannaaaa I like our team.

Toph Sam self sacrificing made this the easiest vote ever and me being safe is a plus I guess 😎

[rigelmejo]

Read 9 guardian print pages in an hour. It’s not much but it’s honest work lol ToT

Next chapter is 10 pages so enough reading tonight lol.

It’s funny cause I can read it out loud but it’s that feeling you have where it sounds right and natural but I can’t consciously remember the tones when I speak that fast so like I suspect there’s a shit ton of incorrect tones I just am not noticing when reading to myself. Although it would... possibly be an interesting experiment to record myself reading aloud just to like, be able to listen to it later when I’ve made the progress to know how it actually is sounding lol.

It’s very fun that I’m in a place where adjectives and idioms I can often figure out from the Hanzi I know and the radicals I know, and I only run into a couple Hanzi a page I can’t remember the pronunciation of but my mind just supplies a quick guess as I’m reading (not trustworthy!! Lol) because it refuses to slow down reading. However There is an upside to this - since my brain refuses to read slower I realize I do instinctively know a pretty high amount of the pronunciations. (Although again I suspect tones wrong galore). Just in the sense of like... I’ve read so many of these Hanzi and looked them up before, Listen Read to guardian enough, that my brain has an inner voice for them. The way the phrases are supposed to come out (I feel the 4th tone words are probably coming out right since I know I follow them easy in listening). The way my brain just can suddenly remember the pinyin (ish - it remembers the pronunciation) of Hanzi I thought I couldn’t remember the pronunciation of. But because there’s literally no dictionary to click on for help in print books, my brain proves it did actually store the pronunciation better than I thought. Which is kinda cool (and a good reason for extensive reading I think - just one reason being I think making the brain recall all the info of meaning and pronunciation from memory without help can help you both review what you’ve studied and help your brain decide these words are worth storing in long term memory since their recall is necessary).

But yeah, my guardian reading is in a fun place.

Today I also just listened to the SVSSS while reading the text. Fast pace but I am very happy the writing is not very hard to follow especially since I know the plot already since I read it in English. I don’t think I plan to full Listen Read to SVSSS (at least not right now) so I was skipping any English-translations/definitions step. I could follow enough just listening and reading to the Chinese so that’s fine. I might do that some more some time. Would be fun to try this with mdzs some time. (Fun fact I have one volume of mdzs it’s in traditional Hanzi and I don’t know why I tried to read it 5 months into study way back then but I did and the notes I made were chaos as I tried to recognize traditional equivalents while barely knowing any words in GENERAL).

Also it is. So brutally clear to me I learned so many words specifically tailored to reading priest novels lol ToT. Specifically I think it’s the L R Method being why sheer percentage wise I know so many of the words now (compared to 寒舍 where I just learned vocab over time from word lookup and only read new chapters - versus guardian where the print chapters I read are mostly vocab similar to what I already L R Method). Like.. just the fact I can read aloud all Hanzi a page except 1-2? Yes I’m sure I’m making errors but the fact I even have rough pronunciation picked up for nearly all of them already is surprising to me and it’s gotta be all the Listening in L R Method helping my brain store the pronunciations/meanings together easier idk. Basically just guardian has so few unknown Hanzi right now despite I Know it being higher in unknown words than 猫城记. It’s just cause guardian is specifically very closely aligned with Words I Prioritized Learning lol. Well I hope if nothing else this means future priest novels will also be “easier than their expected difficulty level.” Except, it’s a weird balance rn. Because like vocab level/grammar usage yes guardian has gotten muchhh easier to read (vocab wise even easier than SVSSS for me). But like actual writing complexity it is STILL dense ass text (it’s smaller font than SVSSS and way longer), while it’s not hard to read in the sense of words known it very much like 猫城记 requires much more active focus from me to catch the hints about Shen weis identity, to interpret guo changchengs biased perspective and thoughts, to catch the unique characterization bias of each POV the narration switches to, to catch foreshadowing and story hints about the cases/character arcs. It’s both dense text so it simply takes longer to read, and it’s detail important/rich so I can’t really skim parts of it if I’m tired. Which Poyun is like this too - detail rich at least the first chapter, characterization built with the whole narrative not just clear explanatory words, so I had to pay attention to more than just the words.

Anyway knowing a lot of priest specific author words will probably help me later. (And again I think L R Method is a good way to intensively study short term to learn authors fave words, it seemed to work well after about 10 chapters the audiobook on its own or book on its own got easier to follow). I wanna read tian ya ke and qi ye so that will probably help. I also got... another priest novel help me ToT. I also own MoDu and want to read it after guardian. Man I really do be putting myself thru it..

Mmm other things. Not gonna lie it feels really cool to be understanding enough to learn words in context like I recognized funeral, “kick her down the road like a ball” (family trying to pass off Li qian when Shen Wei called them), the funeral word also used to describe guo so like “stiff like death” I imagine was similar to the imagery that descriptive phrase was going for, a word I didn’t know but realized meant Shen wei was dividing up the food he brought to give to everyone. Guo mentioning foods and school related words. Just in general all the descriptors i figured out.

[notdeadjack]

annual rec list: 2017 edition

18 Fandoms represented: 

Voltron: 85 fics Haikyuu!!: 8 fics  Avatar: The Last Airbender: 1 fic  Yuri!!! on Ice: 2 fics  Naruto: 2 fics Star Trek: 8 fics  Boku no Hero Academia: 9 fics Marvel: 8 fics  Big Hero 6: 1 fic Teen Wolf: 100 fics Star Wars: 5 fics Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: 5 fics Harry Potter: 3 fics  Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog: 2 fics Dream Daddy: a Dad Dating Simulator: 3 fics  Lucifer: 1 fic Stranger Things: 1 fic Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency: 3 fics

247 fics, under the cut!

(to those of you the “read more” doesn’t work for: I am so sorry.) 

If you find any dead links, incorrect/missing information or if you’re the author of a fic and want me to remove the link from this list, please contact me and I’ll take care of it :D

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Voltron

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9557762     Lonely (But Not When You Hold Me) by SouthernBird     4k, Lance/Shiro, h/c,

It’s an unsettling thing, something sickening that doesn’t sit well at all, almost as if he should have noticed the lack of presence earlier. Wary as he is to admit it, there’s a tiny voice of longing that dances in his chest through the silence of the corridor he’s standing in, as if the lack of the warmth of Lance’s presence has made him cold.

(A bit of a fix-it story after Episode 8/10 of VLD: Season Two!)

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9550874     A Good Day to Slack Off by UnknownAuthorPerson 3k, gen, fluff, team bonding, truth or dare, 

It definitely wasn't how Shiro planned his day, but finding his teammates playing Truth or Dare was probably better than going through another day of rigorous training.   

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9137215     burn and break by epiproctan    2k, Keith-centric, smut, tentacles, 

Keith follows some local alien tips on how to work off his frustration.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8655217     Just Like Sunlight by literal_trashbaby    3k, Keith/Lance, fluff, pining, 

when Lance found Keith milling near the fringes of the crowd and made some lame joke, he was expecting the usual snide remark, or at least that somewhat endearing incomprehension that bordered on naïveté. instead, Keith laughed. Keith laughed, and Lance’s world turned on its end.

OR: Keith laughs at a corny joke and Lance Was Not Prepare(TM)

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9124741    Too Busy Being Yours by Resamille     10k, Keith/Lance, pining, alcohol, 

Keith is in love, Lance is a mess, and maybe things might actually work out for once.

(alternatively: Keith pines, the stars are pretty, music boxes, Pidge can't hold their alcohol, lasers, and Blue is going to disown Lance after this.)

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9035474    Slowly, Surely by needchocolatenow    3k, Lance/Shiro, AU, pining, 

Shiro is tasked with an assignment to deliver important cargo to Altea. Lance is his second.

--

Or, the fic in which Shiro and Lance take a road trip through space in an unfortunately named shuttle.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408143     A Kiss is a Kiss (But it's never like this) by GibbousLunation    25k, Keith/Lance, 5+1, slow burn, h/c, injuries, 

“How does this keep happening to us, every time.” Lance grumbled.

“You’d think they’d stop sending us on away missions,” he agreed. Honestly, between the poisonous plants of their last planet, and Lance’s tendency to always end up on the business end of every blaster or pointy ended stick, Allura was just being inefficient at this point.

Or, five times Keith kissed Lance but the situation was less than ideal, and one time Lance finally kissed him back.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8152486    Heatwaves on Autopilot by WhatTheBodyGraspsNot    56k, Keith/Lance, sex pollen, dubious consent, slow burn,  

Keith and Lance unknowingly inhale an alien aphrodisiac during a simple resource retrieval mission. But unlike the common aphrodisiac, this particular one reactivates under certain unknown conditions, later leaving them craving in situations that don't necessarily present them with many options. Keith tries to work through it, concerned with the sudden lack of control of his body, until he realizes the same thing is happening to Lance. So...great. How are they supposed to deal with this, keep it a secret, AND tend to the thousands of other responsibilities that come with defending the universe? (Together, of course.)

As someone who LOVES the sex pollen trope, let me tell you this fic is perfection. it has continuous sex pollen! and feelings! :D :D :D 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8628142     Bedroom Hymns by Bosstoaster Smut (ChaoticReactions)    26k, Shiro/Everyone, smut, aphrodisiacs, biting, fucking machine, D/s elements, body modifications, 

His arm wasn't the only thing the Galra changed. They also gave him certain... needs.

Shiro learns to make it work for him.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7491141    Lost and Found by battleshidge (Amiria_Raven)    75k, Shiro/Pidge, slow burn, pining, 

The dashed line from their current location to the box was labeled 00:02:47:29:12. Two hours, forty-seven minutes, twenty-nine seconds, twelve milliseconds.

In just under three hours, they would be headed away from the last known location of Sam and Matt Holt.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8101003    BloodCam by hollo     116k, Keith/Lance, AU, blood play, self harm, cutting, cam show, asexual character, paraphilia, minor stalking by secondary character, 

It was Pidge who drew his attention to it, groaning at the pop up ad that had somehow broke through their ad blocker. “What sort of depraved bullshit is that,” She grumbled as she closed the window, but not before the site’s name was ingrained on Keith’s brain -DarkSinCams - along with a tempting teaser shot of a graceful neck pinched harshly in a prong collar. Exactly the type of bullshit that piques my interests, Keith thought. 

As an asexual with a thing for blood, let me tell you this fic is one that I never thought I’d ever get to read, a part of me that i never, even in my wildest fantasies, dared to think would ever get representation. Even if it deals with such a dark, dangerous kink that is arguably neither safe nor sane, it NEVER does so in a sleazy or creepy way. And, since Keith is asexual, it is sexual in a way where it’s not sexual at all? idk, i can’t really explain it. But, it is hella good and i love it.

Do take note of the warnings tho, if graphic self harm and cutting is a trigger for you, give this one a pass, yeah?

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9102247     strength of the small by nowweareunstoppable     12k, gen, h/c, graphic injury, BAMF!Pidge, 

A false distress signal lands the paladins in a tough situation. It falls to Pidge to earn their freedom, and it doesn't come without a dangerous cost. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9067054    String Theory by kingkoganes (noero)    4k, Keith/Lance, accidental soul bond, frottage, first time, 

The prospect of piloting the Red Lion had excited Lance at first, even if the mere thought of abandoning the Blue Lion made him uneasy. In hindsight, that should have been his first clue that something was bound to go wrong. Omnipresent robot lions were usually right about these things. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9081937    Stir by wynnebat     4k, Pidge/Shiro/Keith, threesome, first time, 

Shiro, Keith, and Pidge find each other after the battle with Zarkon. It's finding the others that's the problem. And boredom. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9197414     How Far Will You Go For Your Leader by WashiPuppy    24k, Lance/Shiro, Lance/OMC, dub-con, consensual voyeurism, marking, 

"You would throw yourself at my mercy his place?" The Druid asked with a curious tilt to her head, "And what would I do with you?"

"You could do anything you wanted with me, Babe. Just tell me what you want." Lance heard himself say low, sultry, and entirely without his rational brain intervening. He could practically hear the minds of the Galra in the room grinding to a halt.

Great, now when the rest of the team rescued Shiro, he'd have to tell them "Lance died after flirting with the enemy. There was nothing I could do. I think we all knew this was inevitable."

"You should be throwing yourself upon the Commander's mercy, not mine," The Druid stood and grinned down at Lance.

Ah well, what was the french saying? 'When the wine is drawn, you have to drink it' or something. He leaned slightly to give him direct line of sight to the Commander.

"You could do anything you wanted with me, Babe. Just tell me what you want." Lance repeated in the same sultry tone.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8495119     popping tags by ladyfnick    8k, Keith/Lance/Shiro, clothes sharing,   

Sweaters are basically communal items, right? Lance has some unusual habits when it comes to other peoples things. In that he keeps accidentally stealing them. Whoops? Keith doesn't have that excuse.  

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9157693    Objects in Motion (When Unbalanced) by Mytay     37k, Keith/Lance, slow burn, pining, 

Lance and Keith are constantly being mistaken for a couple. Lance is highly offended. Keith is quietly outraged.

Pidge decides if she can’t have peace, then she can write an epic scientific dissertation on the romantic failings of two exceptionally dense paladins.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7836556     Fake It Til You Make It by nikkiRA    26k, Keith/Lance, fake dating, pining, sex pollen,  

“No, it’s not that –” Keith tries to backtrack. “We just – we –” he isn’t sure what he’s going to say, he just knows he has to say something before he and Lance are forced to have sex with some weird alien species, while also keeping the weird alien king happy enough to create an alliance with them.

But not for the first time and not for the last, Lance pulls through.

Of course, this time pulling through almost gives Keith a heart attack, because Lance slips his fingers through Keith’s so that they’re holding hands.

“What Keith here means to say,” Lance says, and although his voice is steady, he is gripping Keith’s fingers so tightly it’s painful. “Is that we can’t mate with your people, although we, um, appreciate the offer, because, well. We already are. M-mated, I mean. With, you know. Each other.”

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9301076    in stasis by ilgaksu     26k, Keith/Lance, injury, physical disability, artificial intelligence, 

The story starts like this: with a story where you think you know the end, until it turns out you don’t, until it turns out you didn’t have a clue.

In which for three months of Lance McClain's life, he lives as an AI, waiting for his prosthetics to come online. It goes about as well as expected.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9355586     monachopsis by DJBunn3     7k, Keith/Lance, pining, 

It’s not that family-like situations make Keith uncomfortable, per se. He enjoys spending time with his fellow paladins and the Alteans, obviously. And in a way, they’re almost like a real family. Shiro and Allura are like the parents, and Hunk and Pidge are the younger siblings, mischievous and playful. That makes him and Lance the twins, polar opposites and incredibly similar at the same time, and always arguing over something. And no, he hasn’t thought much about this at all. So obviously he’s got no problem with families. They’re fine, even great. Just because he never had one before, doesn’t mean he’s made uncomfortable by them.

But now? Now that he’s witnessing Lance’s charisma firsthand once again, watching his easy interactions with complete strangers that Keith can only hope to achieve with Shiro and the others, he feels strangled and alone. His heart thumps unevenly in his chest. He’s opened the can of worms in his head that he swore he’d never touch again, and now they’re just crawling around his brain.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9379301     I Got You by dumpsterdiva      7k, Keith/Lance, pining, h/c, 

What do you do when you’re an overemotional kind-of-smol teen who likes engaging physical and emotional fisticuffs BUT NOW your crush is feeling insecure because of you??? Compliment him until he sUBMITS. THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM MY LOVE.

Lance is a self-sacrificing idiot and Keith is #done and frankly so am I

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9519404     All My Reasons Why by tylerproposey     11k, Keith/Lance, slow burn, pining, 

But what if Keith's favorite color isn't red...what if it's blue.

Keith who has never really had a favorite color. Then one day at the Garrison he catches a glimpse of Lance's eyes and it stops him in his tracks for that moment.

"That's it?" He realizes, "That's my favorite color,"

It starts off as an infatuation, nothing more than admiration for the entrancing blue eyed boy. It turns into a crush - something he’s never had - and suddenly every shade of blue reminds him of Lance. It ends with love, something deep and turbulent, really he never stood a chance.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9462965     from the mouths of liars by csoru     7k, Keith/Lance, Galra!Keith, xeno, rough sex, under negotiated kink,   

“Dude,” says Lance — foolishly, because it means he has to breathe and now if they get sucked out into the vacuum of space, he’ll suffocate — “Are you mutating? Is this going to be the kind of deal where you get all messed up and turn into a horrible monster?” 

.  

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8474725     He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus     64k, Keith/Lance, AU, dragons, injury, h/c, slow burn, kidnapping, 

In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed...and so are the true monsters. 

.  

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9645266     Practice Makes Perfect by ryuuou     2k, Hunk/Lance, mild dub-con, blow jobs, 

Lance goes to Hunk for some help on studying for extra credit.   

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9713744     i just want you to know who i am by Kyoshu_Koi     10k, Keith/Lance, AU, soul mates, 

"It's you!" Keith screamed, "It's always been you."

Or the fic where I combine every possible soulmate au together into one big mess 

.  

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9722156     We're Onto Something by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)    3k, Hunk/Lance, cuddling, 

Over their years of friendship, Lance and Hunk slept pressed together many times. All that changed were the places.

Until things did change.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9964355     Pollination by Saucery      4k, Hunk/Lance, sex pollen, 

In which a species of alien flower plays matchmaker.

Or, the obligatory sex pollen story.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9623936     Make Me Your Home by Reader115     38k, Keith/Lance, pining, galra!keith, 

“Oh my god, Keeeith,” Lance wheezed. “Keith you’re the best drunk space cadet I’ve ever seen.”

“Space cadet,” Keith mumbled. He repeated the words again although his eyes had zeroed in on Lance’s hands and Lance offered no resistance when Keith picked one of them up and pulled it possessively towards his lap. He began to gently trace over Lance’s fingers, sending shivers up Lance’s arm and down his spine. “You have looong fingers,” Keith murmured after a few moments.

Keith’s face perked up then, as if he’d just had a brilliant idea, and Lance could almost not wait to hear what new obscure thought had entered Keith’s pretty head. He was prepared to laugh, and instead found himself shivering again as Keith leaned far into his personal bubble, lips practically touching Lance’s ear when he spoke next.

“I bet you could reach all kinds of things, Lance.”

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9782123     Closer by Carvingknife     17k, Hunk/Keith/Lance, 

Keith understood that he was expected to bond with the other paladins, but he never expected Hunk and Lance to edge their way in as far as they did. Enemies, he could handle, but emotions. . . not so much. He entertained the option of ignoring the way his heart pounded all together, but one inebriated slip-up later, and the walls began to crumble. Suddenly, Lance is in trouble and Keith has to put confronting his feelings on hold in order to work with Hunk to get him back.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10020137     speechless by scriveyner (trismegistus)     1k, Lance/Shiro, pining, blow jobs, 

Keith was the same as ever in training, in sparring - his violet eyes narrowed in concern when he was able to throw Shiro and pin him to the mat; he had one palm on Shiro's heaving chest and weirdly that touch sent electric tremors down Shiro's spine. "You all right?" he asked, and Shiro's chest heaved.

No, he wasn't.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9630806      There's a love I've been keeping inside; by kirargent      10k, Hunk/Keith/Lance, 

Keith thinks, utterly certain of himself: Lance likes him, too. Lance likes Hunk, too.

And that’s just fucking annoying. Leave it to Lance to make Keith’s life even more complicated.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9768674     starlight by scriveyner (trismegistus)      873 words, Lance/Shiro, pwp, 

It turned out that there were a lot of things about Lance Shiro didn't expect.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9569120     Not The Human Definition Of Normal by BrOwNiEfOx     2k, gen, 4+1, non-consensual body modification, 

Four times the paladins noticed things Shiro gained during his time as a Galran prisoner and one time he got to rest and it didn't matter.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9853094     Like a Bolt from the Blue by Mytay     5k, Keith/Lance, 

Keith has a near-death experience, but he’s actually pretty okay afterwards — he considers it all part of the Paladin calling. Lance, on the other hand, is wrecked by it, and so he trains his butt off to ensure that Keith will never die on his watch.

Or, as I originally posted on my Tumblr: Keith unintentionally spies on Lance in the training room ...

… where the Blue Paladin is kicking ass. And Keith’s kind of mesmerized by it. Then he’s more than mesmerized — he’s freaking out because he’s actually kinda sorta into this brutally efficient soldier version of Lance.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9817643       Junkyard Gods by warschach     28k, Keith/Lance, AU, greek mythology - modern setting, 

What happened to old, forgotten gods?

They moved to L.A. apparently

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9904898     Hold me close by percyinpanties     4k, Lance/Shiro, BDSM, 

Shiro takes Lance apart in the best way possible, only to put him back together.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9913883     Heavy, Gentle Hand by aurumdalseni (kyo_chan)     2k, Hunk/Shiro, 

Hunk trusts Shiro with his life, but he can't really trust Shiro with his own life. He makes it a point to step in to take care of his leader.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10025414     Come Back (as pure as gold) by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)     3k, gen, time travel, bittersweet, 

When Shiro steps out of his lion after the final battle with Zarkon, something is off.

Seems like he missed something. Ten years of it.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9959891     Count On Me by st4rlabsforever (omaken)    5k, Hunk/Keith, 

It’s not until a couple of weeks after the Weblum incident that Hunk realizes how much time he and Keith have been spending together lately.

Or, rather, it’s not really spending time together per se, just that Keith seems to always wind up wherever Hunk is in the evenings, whether he’s cooking up a late night snack in the kitchen or lounging in the common room with a bowl of Altean cracklepops and a movie.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9820193     All About that Space by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)    6k, Hunk/Shiro, AU, pining, secret admirer, 

After an accident that cost him his arm and his position on the first manned Mars mission, Shiro transfers to work at the Jet Propulsion Lab. Shortly after, Hunk gains a secret admirer.

These facts are probably coincidental.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9727223     Rushing To Say Nothing by LynnLarsh     36k, Keith/Lance, mild dub-con, alien brothels, angst, pining, 

“What the hell was that?” Keith says, sounding strangely pissed. Probably jealous; whatever happened, Lance is a lucky son of a bitch and Keith knows it.

Coran clears his throat before answering, and when Lance finally pulls his eyes away from the crowd, that purplish blush from earlier has increased to a noticeable shade of violet across his cheeks. “It seems our boy Lance here has just been propositioned by the local brothel.”

A.k.a. That time Lance went into an alien brothel to prove a point and came out perhaps a little too enlightened.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10026671     a truth in the blood by angstinspace     7k, Keith/Lance, missing scene, galra!keith, 

“I’m Galra, Lance.”

It's the first time he's said those words out loud––and to Lance of all people. He should feel horrified at himself but somehow, he doesn't. In fact, an eerie calmness has settled over him. Everything comes sharply into focus as he stands there, still holding Lance's wrist, breathing in and out, waiting for a response.

A post "Blade of Marmora" fix-it fic. Mostly broganes & klance bonding.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10088447     Hot Like Magenta by Methoxyethane     14k, Keith/Lance, galra!keith, heat, marathon sex, xenophilia, 

“I’m just saying it might be a little early to dismiss the possibility that you might be… you know.” He gestured to Keith’s alien junk as a whole. “In heat, or something?”

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8365993     electromagnetic by seabear      25k, Keith/Lance, pining, fake dating, 

Lance spends a lot of time wondering about his place in the universe. And his place with Keith. Oh, also there’s a heist and some fake dating.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7797733      Entangled by mackerelmademedoit     101k, Keith/Lance, telepathic bond, pining, 

When Keith found himself mentally linked to Lance of all people, he never thought that it would end in anything but irritation and misery on both sides. He certainly never imagined that it would be a useful asset in team Voltron's fight against the Galra Empire. Now if he can just keep his feelings in check, they might actually have a chance at defeating Zarkon.

Needless to say, when he'd wished for a 'bonding moment' with Lance, this wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind.

This is a fresh take on the mind meld/telepathic bond/mental link trope, and i enjoy v much

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8549284     Closer to Your World by CastleSL      29k, Lance/Shiro, canon AU, role swap, pining, 

Students will be carefully selected and tested for the opportunity to fly out to Kerberos for scientific research. Only one student may be selected. Application and Testing will commence during the third trimester, June 21XX.

There was more on the page, statistics and requirements and more details, but it was legit. The flyer was printed on standard Garrison announcement paper, the document signed by the Dean and board of directors. The chance to go to Kerberos. Hunk took a moment to think, then clapped his hand on Lance’s back, smiling.

“Well, I’m rooting for ya, buddy.” He said, and Lance beamed like that was all he needed in the world.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10371303     theorycrafting by glhf     3k, Lance/Pidge, pre-canon, unrequited crush, 

Katie overthinks it. At least Lance is oblivious, and not interested. Pre-canon, set during the semester at Galaxy Garrison.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9816713     Kiss the Rain by robotjellyfish     7k, Lance/Shiro,  

After another mission where Lance gets tricked by the enemy and captured Lance is feeling pretty down his usual insecurities getting the better of him. Shiro is determined to show him he's not as useless as he thinks he is.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10088642     Small Fierce Things by playswithworms    5k, gen, injury, PTSD, 

Pidge is badly injured. Shiro does his best to angst over it, but is foiled.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9924476    Catch & Release by anonymous_scapegoat     2k, gen, 

Some Galra grunt makes the mistake of putting Pidge and Lance in the same cell. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10057184    Stuck on You by carpemermaid     25k, Keith/Lance, forced proximity, pining, 

Go to Thalgor, Coran had said. It will be easy, he’d said. Well, it wasn’t easy being literally stuck to his rival thanks to getting exposed to some stupid alien plant in the middle of a humid jungle, after hiking all day with said rival. Lance and Keith just have to make it through two weeks of being around each other constantly, with their arms glued together, before they can go their separate ways. But first, they’ll need to make it through sharing a room and learning how to live on top of each other until they’re free.

oh hey look, it’s my favourite trope: forced proximity~

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10091792     Pendulum by noero     5k, Keith/Lance, rough sex, 

The funny thing about falling for someone is you don't even realize you're falling until you hit the ground.

It just happens that when Lance falls, he hits hard.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9608048    It Takes a Village by Zemmiphobia    18k, Thace/Ulaz, canon-AU, fluff, kid fic, grooming, 

One decision by an injured soldier changes not only the fate of the universe, but the fate of her young son.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10053452    Got Your Back - Platonic VLD Week Day #5 by hufflepirate    4k, gen, injury, h/c, cuddling, 

The mission started going badly long before Shiro realized Lance was injured and trying to hide it. Now, stranded alone on a strange planet and completing their mission on foot while they wait for the lions to self-repair, Shiro also has to figure out how badly Lance is hurt, why his uniform isn't healing him, and what to do about it.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10553376     Antiparticles by yourfaveisproblematic     3k, Pidge/Shiro, 

an·ti·par·ti·cle Noun. A subatomic particle having the same mass as a given particle but opposite electric or magnetic properties. Every kind of subatomic particle has a corresponding antiparticle, e.g., the positron has the same mass as the electron but an equal and opposite charge.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10431945     After Me Comes the Flood by Qpenguin98    25k, Keith/Lance, trans character, h/c, 

The interior of this ship is cold and boring. The Galran soldiers that try to bond with you are cold and boring. Zarkon is cold and boring.

You are sick of being cold and bored.

A story following the Red Lion.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10540689     Touchdown by InsominiacArrest     4k, Keith/Lance, bondage, spanking, 

Lance starts to get hot and bothered by the fact Keith sometimes gives out congratulatory ass slaps, and it becomes an issue when they start dating and it's hard for Lance to ask for what he wants.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10540284     Hot in Here by SugarSweetRascal     5k, Keith/Lance, dub-con, rough sex, 

Lance and Keith have been pining after each other, so much so that their lions are thrown into full blown estrus. Will the paladins survive going into heat, or find a way to quench their thirst for one another?

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8104807     Infection by 5557     73k, Keith/Lance, horror, injury, drowning, slow burn, fluff, 

While exploring an alien planet, Lance is nearly killed by a mysterious monster. Now he's convinced that he is infected with an alien sickness. Why doesn't anyone believe him? It must be Keith's fault.

This is a horror-comedy (but like, also a romance?), and I drew pictures.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10411245      The Doctor Is In by InterdictedKai, minus___zero     10k, Lance/Shiro, AU, trans character, medical kink, 

Lance had always hated going to the doctors for anything to do with his reproductive biology. But transitioning and other medical issues meant that Lance had spent more than his fair share of hours around doctors. It wasn’t until he was nineteen and having serious pain issues that his local GP finally referred him to the Gynaecology department at the hospital in the next town over. Fortunately for Lance, it wasn't that far of a drive. Unfortunately for Lance, his doctor turned out to be young and hot. Fortunately for Lance, that doctor thinks Lance is temptingly hot as well.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9559535    Running Flat by SKayLanphear     11k, Keith/Lance, pining, crushes, 

Lance, like all the other paladins, is finally getting used to the “mind meld” they all have to indulge in when controlling their lions. Until someone’s uncontrollable crush comes in and knocks them all back in surprise. It’s a crush that circles persistently through their thoughts and only gets stronger as time goes on, until they begin to realize this might be a bit more serious than the term “crush” implies.

Meanwhile, the unfortunate paladin behind it all is trying desperately to bury the feelings away, yet failing at every turn.

oh gosh this is so cute

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10450977     Reach out for you (break these walls) by Utsukushin (UserFromPluto)    9k, Keith/Lance, h/c, past abuse, touch starved, fluff, 

Keith is trying to make himself smaller, to bury his head deeper in his knees, and Lance’s heart freezes in his chest. Anger dissipating like an exploded firework, Lance lets his hand fall limply to his side, mind blurring with static. When he tries to speak, nothing comes out but a choked noise, so he tries again.

“Keith,” he breathes. “Keith I’m not going to hurt you.”

(Keith has an abusive past, but with time and care Lance helps him become accustomed to positive touch.)

This fic was inspired by my fan art (!!!?!) and i’m still screaming about it ngl it’s amazing go read iiiit

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10465326    Katie by gemiinous    5k, Pidge-centric, coming out, trans character, 

"I'm a girl."

The reactions from the team should have made her feel better. They should have eased the months of dysphoria and anxiety, should have made her smile and relax into her own skin once more.

Instead, the casual acceptance--and even incredulity, were they even supposed to believe that she was a boy to begin with?--just left her off balance and whirling.

-OR-

Pidge slowly comes to terms with the idea that gender might not be as cut-and-dry as she thought it was.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10906425    Crushing Hard by donutwolf     15k, Hunk/Lance, wrestling, size kink, body worship,

Lance has a crush. But also, Lance wants to get crushed.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10842192     the potential of you and me by Katranga     15k, Keith/Lance, AU, first time,

“And then other times,” Lance said. “I’m just, like, dying to know what a mouth would feel like around my dick.” Keith choked on air and said, with absolutely no go-ahead from his brain, “I have a mouth.” Half-laughing, Lance said, “Is that an offer?” He pushed his wet hair out of his eyes. His throat was dry. “Is that an acceptance?” -- The summer after freshman year of college, Lance drags Keith back to their hometown to hang out. But the two of them rarely spend time together without Hunk and Pidge around, because things had a way of getting out of hand real quick. This summer is... no different.

make sure to read the reddit post this fic was inspired by. it’s precious~

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10713636     I Like It When You Touch Me by emogod669    2k, Lance/Shiro, smut, 

“I know, but tell me anyway.” Lance pouts and damn, Shiro’s weak just like that.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10379589     Songbird by Faequeen40     105k, Keith/Lance, injury, non-consensual body modification, h/c, 

After an ambush on a strange planet, Lance gets captured in Keith's place. Will the others be able to rescue him before Lotor breaks his new prize?

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10776273     wipe these stars from my eyes by scriveyner (trismegistus)    10k, Lance/Shiro, 

Lance flung his arms out and yelled, "I did not sleep with Shiro!"

There was a long moment of silence as the last of Lance's words hung in the early morning air. "So ... you were just naked in his tent when I walked in, then," Pidge said. "Yes!"

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10767930    Public Displays of Affection by JessenoSabaku    19k, Hunk/Lance/Pidge, voyeurism, 

Lance and Hunk have been hooking up since the Garrison days. They usually manage to keep their business private, but when Lance gets in the mood, there's no stopping him. Thanks to that, Pidge caught them getting it on in the showers, and ever since then she's gotten more and more distant. Now Lance has to find a way to close the rift between them.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10892712    Lusty Dust by Brewrites    5k, Pidge/Hunk, sex pollen, mutual masturbation, 

Pidge and Hunk are on an alien soulmate planet and have been blasted with sex pollen. Pidge for the second time on the strange planet.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10888098     In the Still of the Night by zombiegardener    17k, Lance/Shiro, slow burn, PTSD, 

Sleepless nights can wear you down. But sometimes they can also be the start of something beautiful.

Or how to build a relationship you didn't even know you wanted in sleepless nights and stolen moments.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10883565     small parts of something big by TEARSoverBEERS    4k, Lance/Shiro, 

“Yeah, no one's gonna be like 'oh, Shiro is in love with me, we gotta date now', just in theory, which one of us do you find the most dateable.” Lance agrees. --------------

Aka. the Paladins are stuck in a fight over who is more dateable and somehow Shiro get himself wrapped up in that (and then in Lance)

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10927908    Jaded by Creepofish    8k, Lance/Shiro, injury, 

Shiro is the leader of Voltron. He is the strength and the calm in the face of the thundering storm of the Galra. Lance is someone Shiro doesn't quite understand. Shiro is someone Lance wants to understand with all of his heart.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10935372     You Always Say the Stupidest Shit by mischiefmanager    13k, Keith/Lance, first time, fuck buddies, bickering,  

"I know what your problem is," Lance interrupts, pointing a finger at him and smirking as though he's just personally discovered the deepest secret of the universe. God only knows why Keith stops talking then, but in hindsight, he wishes he'd have just gotten louder.

"You need to get laid," Lance announces.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10698537    the anchor by Sarolonde    1k, Lance/Shiro, h/c, 

Lance can feel the anger burning within, sizzling and searing through his veins like explosive fuses networking through his body. The spark that lit the match had been Pidge’s agonised cries and screams, the destruction that shattered through her armour and broke her body in horrible unknown ways. She should never have been there, if they had have just listened to him…

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10312844    Something Just Like This by Sarolonde     40k, Lance/Shiro, AU, 

[19:09] Lance glad my photos were accidentally sent 2 a nice guy like u <3 thank u for not being a creep [19:22] Shiro Uh, you’re welcome. I guess? I don’t know what else I would have even done with the situation. [22:11] Lance u innocent sweet angel unicorn ^_^ g’night kind sir *tips hat* [22:13] Shiro Goodnight, Interesting Stranger.

The wonderful, unexpected consequences of Lance sending partially-nude pictures of himself to a stranger.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10522167    For the World to See by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)    10k, Lance/Shiro, AU, 

In which Lance is a dork for space, Shiro brought Lance's album with him to the ISS, and everyone else in their lives wishes they'd shut up about it for ten damn minutes.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10986474     in love again by Incertitude     10k, Lance/Shiro, power bottom!Lance,

when Lance's half baked prank causes an expected stir Lance is thoroughly pleased but the unexpected outcome is having Shiro inside his room unravelling Lance's buried feelings

or

the fic where Shiro says Keith's name during sex and provokes Lance into taking charge of the situation

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9630881    Black to Blue by PuppetMaster55     153k, Lance/Shiro, role swap, universe swap, 

Lance, the undisputed (no longer, since he finally got the team to stop questioning his position like a month ago) leader of Voltron finds himself in the absolute strangest scenario: being the Blue Paladin.

Lance, still finding his place on team Voltron, wakes up to the weirdest world: one where he's the Black Paladin.

OR, I take a universe where Lance was always the Black Paladin and have him swap bodies with canon Lance, throwing both sets of teams for a trip.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11094996    Cradle me in your arms by WHUMPBBY    8k, Lance/Shiro, sex pollen, 

“Shiro, I have an idea.” Hearing the vicious excitement in Lance’s voice, Shiro stopped his slow climb and sighed. “No, Lance, we will not set the tree on fire.” “How did you know?!” He was never quite sure how Lance could pitch his voice into the ‘angry teenager’ register even at the age of twenty. “Because I thought it through ten minutes ago and it’s too humid to light fire.”

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11986935    assess the situation by redlight    3k, Lance/Shiro, masochism, stuck in a wall, 

Lance is stuck, Shiro tries to help, and hopefully this is all just some weird, perverted dream, 'cause Lance really can't handle this right now.

Voltron NSFW Week, day 5 prompt "tricks and traps."

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11974986    A Helping...Hand? by magisterpavus    13k, Lance/Tentacles, consentacles, h/c, 

“It’s kinda cute,” Lance mused as the plant oozed blue slime all over his hand and wrapped a tiny green tendril around his thumb. “Aww, look!”

“Sure, cute, in a Cthulhu’s spawn sort of way,” Pidge muttered. “Put that thing back where it came from or so help me, Lance.”

“No way,” Lance said, holding the plant to his chest protectively. “I think it likes me.”

(DAY 8: FREE DAY - TENTACLES! )

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/12345033    Keeping the Nightmares Away by MizuLeKitten    20k, Lance/Shiro, cuddling, h/c, PTSD, 

Lance had had the occasional nightmare as a child, who hadn’t honestly, so having them while in space fighting against an alien tyrant hell bent on controlling the whole universe? At least some things were universal. As the nightmares persist, Lance takes to wandering the castle at night, and it appears he’s not the only one. After a chance run in with Shiro the two come to a simple agreement: If they can't sleep alone, why not try sleeping together?

If only things stayed that simple. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/12781515    Power and Control by Bosstoaster Smut (ChaoticReactions)   7k, Hunk/Shiro, dom/sub, collars, praise kink, 

Shiro can't let go of the stress of the day. Hunk might have a solution. 

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Haikyuu!!

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9280169     Routine by someonestolemyshoes     16k, Hinata/Kageyama, AU, porn, cam show, 

Kageyama Tobio has a routine.

Up, shower, dress, breakfast, classes, practice, work, dinner, laptop, show time.

It’s simple, and it works for him. Kageyama has never been all that much interested in socialising—not to say he doesn’t like talking to people, but…honest, for the most part, he’d rather not be doing that—and there is comfort in a system that never changes. No matter what party he is invited to, what club meal or class drink or work social they try to wrangle him into, Kageyama does not cave, because the rest of his routine is waiting for him at home.

And if he’s late, he will miss it.

**

Hinata is a well-known cam boy, and Kageyama is his biggest fan.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9375023     Don't Mind, Don't Mind by runswithwolves (ConstantComment)    1k, Hinata/Kageyama,  exhibitionism, public hand jobs, mild dub-con, 

Shouyou has always been aware that Kageyama gets riled up after a win. Very, very aware.

While everyone else is practically knocked out from a match or, you know, four -- the team’s snores and silence palpable on the bus back home -- Shouyou’s heart races and he imagines he could run to Tokyo and back, and maybe after have go at a couple more rounds of spiking drills.

And Kageyama... well.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7972708     Some Other Name by Gemmiel     14k, Hinata/Kageyama, college roommates, pining, misunderstandings, jealousy, 

Hinata and Kageyama are college roommates now, and Kageyama kind of wishes Hinata would call him by his given name every now and then. After all, they've been best friends for three years now, and aren't best friends supposed to call each other by their given names occasionally?

Not that he CARES, or anything. Except he does, sort of...

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7214293     I am what I am by Gilrael     40k, Ennoshita/Tanaka, AU, roomates, slow burn, demi character, 

“Uh, hi. I'm Ennoshita Chikara,” he introduced himself with a shy little smile that made Ryū's heart skip a beat. “Tanaka Ryūnosuke,” he replied mechanically, stepping aside so that Ennoshita-san could enter the flat. “C-come i-in.” --- Chikara moves out, because he has enough of his shitty flatmate. Ryū happens to need a new flatmate.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/6198364     campfire in your chest by deanpendragon     74k, Tsukishima/Yamaguchi, slow burn, pining, jealousy, UST, 

Kei realizes in their second year of high school that he's probably been in love with Yamaguchi since they were ten. However hopeless he might be in handling that situation, Kei prays he's at least not as hopeless as Hinata and Kageyama. But he just might be.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9147199     The Video by Navybluewings     53k, Hinata/Kageyama, college, masturbation, dirty talk, slow burn, praise kink,

Kageyama Tobio knows that he and his roommate, Hinata Shouyou are low on cash. And he's aware that part of that is might be his fault. So when Hinata comes to their college dorm with the promise of a paycheck, Kageyama almost overlooks the video camera sitting in his spiker's hands. All he has to do is record whatever Hinata plans to do, right? How hard could that be?

Funny how one video could change everything.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11573157   Dragged into Your Pace by nebulia    8k, Hinata/Kageyama, dirty talk, praise kink,

[You’re incredible, Kageyama, Hinata had whispered that afternoon, straddling his waist, elbows on either side of Tobio’s head, and Tobio had gone cold and hot and cold all over, jerking like his strings had been cut. It had been so much. And giving Hinata that much leeway is scary, but Hinata’s also kind of gentle, sometimes. Like he knows how to handle the parts of Tobio that are fragile.]

The working title of this fic was “praise kink tobio,” which...pretty much covers it.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11240220    a game we both could win by kagome_angel    7k, Hinata/Kageyama, voyeurism, mutual masturbation, 

If he were a decent guy, he’d pretend this wasn’t happening, but apparently he's not really a decent guy.

It's an accident, initially. But it spirals into something else, and it's incredibly easy to get lost in it.

(It's just a game, right?)

(Of course not.)

.

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Avatar: The Last Airbender 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/33751    The One Where the Fire Nation Clearly Loses by miarr    4k, Sokka/Zuko, frottage, 

Okay, so there was a little scenario with the guards.

.

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Yuri!!! on Ice

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8836096     From Almaty, With Love by BoxWineConfessions    71k, Otabek/Yuri, slow burn, pining, 

It’s quiet here. Even if the car alarm on the neighbor’s goddamn BMW has been going off for the past twenty minutes. Quiet, even though the alarm’s got the neighbor’s dog howling like crazy, and the neighbor works second shift and isn’t there to comfort the dumb dog.

It’s quiet…They haven’t spoken to each other since that morning, when Yuri went off to go see his tutor, and Otabek went off to do whatever the hell it was he did in the mornings before he hit the rink.

“You’re used to the noise?”

“Yeah, but…I think I like the quiet too.”

Or: Yuri spends the summer with Otabek in Almaty.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9135670     all the world's a stage by braveten     112k, Victor/Yuuri, AU, anxiety, 

Everyone has a guilty pleasure.

For Yuuri, it just happens to be romance movies starring famous heartthrob Victor Nikiforov.

(And, honestly, on the spectrum of guilty pleasures, he figures that his is on the far, far more innocent side.)

.

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Naruto

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http://archiveofourown.org/series/266068    blood of the covenant series by 100demons    15k, Sakura/Sai, developing relationship, 

Sakura and Sai come home after the war.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/5339486    reverse by blackkat    386k, Kurama/Kakashi, time travel, fix-it, slow burn, 

To make a tragedy, you break something beautiful and frame the pieces. To make a victory, you break something mighty and rebuild it piece by piece. To make a life, you glue the pieces together and hope for the best. Kurama's still getting the hang of this ‘human’ thing, but given that he’s 30 years back in time with catastrophes to prevent and a blond brat to save, he’ll have to figure things out on the fly. Luckily, living with Naruto's been good for his ability to improvise, if nothing else.

an absolutely amazing read! masterfully plotted and perfectly balanced between action, character growth and fluff. i barely noticed the length tbh. contains more rare pair ships than the main one, all which i now ship. also, contains character deaths in the previous time line that is referenced often as the MC deals with the grief, but all in all it’s a lot ligther and fluffier than one expects.

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Star Trek 

TOS & AOS

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1179148     We Two Boys Together Clinging by rabidchild67     21k, Kirk/Spock, mission fic, h/c, kid fic, de-aging, 

One day, 9-yr old Jim Kirk wakes up in the middle of nowhere with a big headache and no memory of how he got there. He’s not sure where he is, but it’s definitely not Earth, and there’s not another living soul around. Well, except for this other kid - an actual Vulcan! - who’s annoying at first, but turns out to be pretty useful to have around. Guess it’s time for the adventure of a lifetime he’s always wanted.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1731203    AT THE SAME STARS by spicyshimmy     136k, Kirk/Spock, canon-AU, slow burn, 

First Officer Spock of the USS Enterprise is part of the away team that discovers the survivors of Tarsus IV. Captain Pike assigns him to the curious case of James Tiberius Kirk, who steals one of Spock's sweaters. 

-There were no sufficient Vulcan poetics to describe the emptiness of the colony as it was found on the morning of stardate 2249.43. The fully-completed residential sector was neither ugly nor beautiful but simply remote; a hollow landscape of metal alloys and sensible architecture, with determined vegetation growing alongside the support beams. They did not flower.- 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1013237    Only Fools by museaway    63k, Kirk/Spock, canon-AU, h/c, 

Spock has just graduated with highest honors from the Vulcan Science Academy when Nero destroys his planet. Lucky to escape with his life, he is bound for Earth on a rescue ship where he meets a strange fellow traveler: an elder version of himself. Disturbed by his counterpart's experiences in his own timeline, Spock vows never to follow the desires of his human half. But when a man named Jim Kirk comes into Spock's life, he's faced with a struggle to find the balance between Vulcan and human. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1011854    Measure of Happiness by writeonclara    38k, Kirk/Spock, canon-AU, roommates, slow build, 

When Spock chose Starfleet over the Vulcan Science Academy, he had not anticipated cohabiting with the most illogical, irrational, emotional human he ever met.

On the flip side, Jim never asked for a Vulcan chaperone, especially one as snotty as Spock, son of Sarek.

A Starfleet Academy AU in which Spock adapts to human life, Jim learns very, very quickly never to play a prank on a Vulcan, and there are far too many people after Jim Kirk's life.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/883469    THE SUM OF BOTH OF US by spicyshimmy     207k, Kirk/Spock, canon-AU, kid-fic, slow build, 

Jim Kirk is nine when a massacre on Tarsus IV leaves him without a family and without a home. Spock is twelve when a strange boy in the desert saves his sehlat. Families aren't born; they're made. 

-The look in mother’s eyes at his correction remained a mystery long after the colors of the night sky and the complex patterns of distant nebulae had become translatable by means of distinct and relatively straightforward equations. -

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/3896413     The prominence of a simple word by Exploding_Space    5k, /Kirk/Spock, pet names, 

Captain Kirk keeps referring to his First Officer as “sweetheart”. He does it when they are in mortal peril, when he is bored, when he wants to be annoying. Neither expects the term of endearment to actually become dear to them.

~ response to the „Hey, sweetheart“ challenge. reposted here from the k/s archive

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9488996     Sha Ka Ree by ThereBeWhalesHere    180k, Kirk/Spock, canon-AU, slow burn, time travel, pining, bed sharing, 

The year is 2258. Jim Kirk is a Lieutenant on the U.S.S. Farragut, Spock the science officer of the U.S.S. Enterprise. When the ships come together for a priority landing party, these two strangers find themselves fighting against the odds for a chance at life in an alien world, and the only way they'll make it through is by relying on each other.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10607232     Undiscovered Terrain by battybatzgirl     32k, Kirk/Spock, canon-AU, first contact, fluff, 

After an attack on his ship from a Romulan warbird, prince Spock crash lands on a nearby primitive planet, directly into the backyard of one Jim Kirk.

.

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Boku no Hero Academia 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/6589822     Hitsuzen by Methoxyethane    10k, Midoriya/Todoroki, pre-slash, 

He would have ended up falling for Izuku at some point no matter what, he was certain. No matter what path life took him down he'd have still ended up here, not because of anything as elaborate as destiny or fate but instead due to the simple fact of inevitability. Because Izuku was Izuku and Shouto liked just about everything about him, couldn't help but admire him and would always want to be around him, just for who he was.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10020833     the sunshine people by dellsey     12k, Kirishima/Bakugou, AU, 

The shitty red hair, the bright orange tank top with the word ‘Zumba’ written across it in huge bold letters, the goddamn pants and the green sneakers. Talk about a fucking combo. “That’s not a lady,” Bakugou states, squinting at the dude. “That’s Kirishima. He’s the instructor,” Jirou simply replies.   

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10551482    downhill by eggstasy    5k, Kirishima/Bakugou, 

Bakugou sleeping in the common areas like it’s no big deal seems to give everyone else permission to be just as bizarre, and little by little Kirishima starts learning things about his classmates he never knew. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11095629     Pure Morning by bigstupidjellyfish     10k, Kirishima/Bakugou, sex pollen, post-series,    

a classic sex pollen fic with a dash of sad excuse of worldbuilding 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11227647    nothing has changed me quite like you by akhikosanada     10k, Midoriya/Todoroki, fluff, pining, 

"Touching someone for the first time, Shouto found out, did not draw electricity or any other romanticized chemical reaction described in books and movies. It did, however, make his chest tighten harder than it ever had before, and as he drew the shape of lightning over Midoriya’s skin, his lips parted on an almost inaudible sigh. Midoriya’s breath caught in his throat, and Shouto wanted to catch it in his own mouth."

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11483757     Shudo by signifying_nothing     4k, Kirishima/Bakugou, 

It was so easy to take someone who acts like Bakugou and write them off as just another overly-aggressive future villain. It was so easy, and that was why Kirishima hadn't done it. He'd refused. Bakugou was loud, and aggressive, and strong, but Kirishima knew bravado when he saw it, he knew what a person looked like when there was nothing on their mind but their pride and their self-esteem.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11286987    i want you to show me by crunchrapsupreme    3k, Kirishima/Bakugou, smut, 

“I already told you, I’m not gonna break, you don’t have to go slow.”

“What if I want to, though?” Kirishima murmurs quietly. “What if I wanna take my time with you?”

Bakugou shivers.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11725113      get tough, straight up by qactus   11k, Kirishima/Bakugou, 

Then again, Kirishima never had this Bakugou Katsuki thing under control—probably everyone's known that, too.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/12886323    Katsuki VS Friendship by downtownfishies    13k, Kirishima/Bakugou, 

Katsuki knew he was an asshole. He just wasn't used to being so bothered by it.

.

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Marvel

all the franchise 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7396714    Angel of the Morning by iFlail, Jenetica    49k, Peter/Wade, canon-AU, slow burn, deadpool as a warning, 

"Peter sucks in a breath and hides his face with a sip of cocoa. Aunt May repeating his own idea back to him cements it in his mind. Deadpool needs a friend more than anyone else in the world right now, and Peter’s job is to protect people. Even if that means protecting them from themselves.

He’s going to be the best fucking friend Deadpool ever had, even if it kills him. Which it very well might."

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/6260548     Damage by dontcareajot    42k, Peter/Wade, h/c, slow burn, 

Peter Parker finds himself in a sticky situation and who should show up to rescue him but the infamous Deadpool? Now Peter feels indebted to the mercenary... And maybe weirdly charmed by him.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/6148600     5 Times Peter was Having Issues (And 1 Time He Wasn't) by VyxenSkye   16k, Peter/Wade, 5+1, 

.... And How Wade Was Involved in Each One

A random '5 times' fic. Peter getting into trouble and Wade being there to get him out of it.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/4720682     Project Phoenix by TheAvalonian    73k, Bucky/Steve, slow burn, pining, kid fic (kinda), 

“They told me you were enemies,” the girl said blankly. “They told me I had been forged in hatred.”

Neither Bucky nor Steve said anything for a long time. The girl stayed with her hand pressed to the glass, waiting. This time, the question was there, even if she hadn't asked it outright.

Bucky cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from Steve's and pushing down on the handle. “Well, they lied,” he said gruffly, and strode out the door without looking back. (Post-TWS, Steve and Bucky's lives are just starting to resemble some kind of normal when a young Hydra agent shows up in the lobby of the Avengers' Tower, claiming to be their daughter.)

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/3135464     Peter Parker's Home for the Wayward Villain by BeanieBaby     90k, Peter/Wade, canon-AU, fluff, protective bad guys, 

A really long redemption story.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/3903769     Bad Lines by DustToDust     11k, Clint/Pietro, 

It's Tony's fault. Someway, somehow, Clint just knows that the man is behind this new level of annoyance.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/4102126     Music to my Ears by astheoceanfalls    13k, Clint/Pietro, deaf character, prank war, 

“This music is awful. You have old man taste.” Pietro looked serious, but his eyes were lit up with mischief.

Clint did splutter this time. “This is it. I’m going to educate you on Real Music.”

Or, the one where Clint flirts with Pietro by forcing classic rock on him, and Pietro has no choice but to retaliate.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9819023    What Pals Do by basilique    4k, Steve/Bucky, pre-serum, 

Bucky's lips are soft, and his breath is hot as he pants against Steve's neck.

“It’s just what pals do…other fellas do it too, they gotta. I bet you there's no fella in the world who hasn't...who hasn't with his best friend. Just…just kiss me, Steve. Don’t worry.”

.

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Big Hero 6 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/3498686    Dirty (when done right) by thehomodabrothers     94k, Hiro/Tadashi, AU, not related, stripper, masturbation, pinning, 

You know the kind of guy who looks like he'd suck your dick, the money out of your wallet and the soul right out of your body?

Yeah. That half-naked waiter over there? He looks like that kind of guy.

(There's a stripper Hiro's having a little trouble staying away from. If his personality is anywhere near as nice as his ass, then Hiro's pretty fucked - and not in the fun way, either.)

starts out pretty damn dirty, but rapidly turns sweet af 

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Teen Wolf

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/629953    Monsters by nightanddaze     10k, Derek/Stiles, dubious consent, possession, 

Two (three) souls walking in the woods, looking for and finding monsters.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/4683653     Stepping Off the Razor’s Edge by MissAnnThropic    25k, Stiles/Derek, angst, happy ending, 

After the events of season 3b, the group in Beacon Hills graduate high school and move on with their lives… everyone except Stiles and Derek. Beset by their demons, they decide they need to get away for a while to clear their heads. Cue the road trip.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/507930     taking the bus to chinatown by hito    13k, Stiles/Derek, 

Stiles' home economics teacher forces him to knit mittens. Nobody wants Stiles' mittens, but then Stiles offers them to Derek, and Stiles is pretty sure Derek does these things purely to drive him crazy. What else could it be?

hito writes the most precious Derek

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1647245    Knight of the Night by calrissian18    -1k, Stiles/Jackson, long distance snarkery, 

Jackson grins, chest still heaving. He points at Stiles. “Princess.” Then to himself. “Knight.”

Written for mating_games Challenge 1: Happily Ever After. AND WON FIRST PLACE!

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http://archiveofourown.org/series/103751     Shatterproof series by pyes    90k, Stiles/Derek, h/c, car accidents, pining, injury, recovery, 

The first time that Derek kisses Stiles, they're in the Jeep—which is sideways—while they're trapped in an overpass collapse.

It's the second time when things really get scary.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/3187547    Come Hell or High Water by blacktofade     14k, Stiles/Derek, AU, a/b/o, pining, saliva, 

As an alpha, Derek goes into heat, which means he has to deal with endless amounts of saliva at any given point.

an original take on the, uh, biology of the trope.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1991601    The Lawn Ranger by Snowjob    47k, Stiles/Derek, high school AU, jock!Stiles, pining, 

In which Derek is an adolescent werewolf with a penchant for chocolate bunnies, and instead of the dream summer of lazing around the house playing video games and nibbling on his hoarded supply of easter candy his mother makes him get a job.

In which Stiles is a showoff jock with a broken arm and an embarrassing crush who can no longer push the lawn mower around the yard.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/3879556     UST (An Unfortunate Series of Tropes) by ureshiiichigo    54k, Stiles/Derek, pining, UST, bed sharing, accidental marriage, telepathic bond, donuts, 

Stiles and Derek sitting in a tree, M-A-R-R-I-E-D.

Wait, what?

Or: Stiles thought he and Derek were finally getting to be bros, and then Deaton had to go and ruin everything with his stupid spell.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/3575022    Plus One by migratoryslashfan    101k, Stiles/Derek/Scott, Stiles/Peter, polyamory, accidental pregnancy, dub-con, fuck-or-die, underwater sex, graphic injury, traumatic birth, fluff,

Stiles takes a pregnancy test as a joke. It turns up positive.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/4248903    Our Skin, Our Bones, Our Silent Poem by staylorpotato    7k, Peter/Stiles, deaf character, fluff, angst, nogitsune fix-it, ASL, 

Peter is a Deaf werewolf. Stiles is a CODA (Child of a Deaf Adult). They’re a kind of unlikely pair. But sometimes things you wouldn’t think of as a good combination, end up turning out to be the perfect combination, you know?

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1932642    Reluctant Allies With Benefits by veterization    93k, Peter/Stiles, 

Peter suggests he and Stiles start having no strings attached sex. It's that simple. No, really, it totally is. Stiles will make sure of it.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/3643614    Prison Break by cywscross    21k, Peter/Stiles, Eichen house, mentions of torture,  

The last time Peter was locked up and abandoned, he went crazy and killed a bunch of people. Stiles can’t understand why anyone would consider it a good idea to repeat history. So he decides to do something about it.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/2542955    The Trouble with Threesomes and Supernatural Soul Mates by Akira_of_the_Twilight   87k, Peter/Stiles/Chris, canon-AU, polyamory, soulmates, slow burn, 

Peter looked at Stiles from the corner of his blue eyes and smirked. Stiles swore he saw a flash of red Peter’s eyes, but it might of have been his brain’s lack of oxygen making him hallucinate. “I’m looking for my soul mate. Christopher Argent. I believe he volunteered to be taken in for questioning.”

An iron fist clenched Stiles' heart. This man was Argent’s—Christopher’s soul mate?

Stiles stared at the Peter’s wrist, examining every detail of Peter's soul mark. Stiles couldn’t find anything different between his and the blond’s.

Stiles lifted his hand and ghosted his fingers along Peter’s forearm.

It was lightning all over again, and Stiles yanked his hand back, only to have it caught in an unbreakable grip.

Frosty blue eyes burrowed into Stiles', and he couldn’t stop himself from gulping. The smirk on Peter’s lips grew as the corner of his mouth quirked higher, and he drew Stiles’ hand close to his face.

Peter’s nostrils flared slightly as he stared at Stiles’ soul mark. He pulled Stiles forward, pressing soft lips to Stiles wrist.

“Now what would your name be?” Peter purred.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/6490537    According to plan by FeelingsDusk    16k, minor Peter/Stiles, time travel, BAMF!Stiles, 

The plan was very simple: go back in time, kill Kate, kill Gerard, never ever make contact with his parents, try to find a place within the Hale pack or not, but either way, live the rest of his life displaced and without the people he loves.

Of course, as it always is with him these days, nothing goes according to plan.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8370943    All My Stars Aligned by Green    21k, Peter/Stiles/Chris, Peter/Chris, AU, a/b/o, alpha/alpha, pining, 

Stiles needs to find an alpha ASAP. Actually, the doctors say he really needs two. Damn biology.

Chris and Peter are two alphas in hopeless, doomed love with each other.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/6454288    Don’t Forget to Breathe by cywscross     11k, gen, canon-AU,  kidnapping, codependency, injury, trauma, 

The fire destroys every last reason Peter has to continue living. Stiles gives him a new one.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2521997    This Could Be So Dirty That it Just Ain't Right by taylorpotato   10k, Peter/Stiles, a/b/o, omega/omega, 

Ever since Stiles presented as an Omega, he hasn't been feeling the same urges as his peers. When he's around an Alpha that's not Scott (who is pretty much his brother at this point), his first reaction is to shrink away, not try to press closer. Until he meets Peter Hale. Who acts like the most annoying, entitled kind of Alpha on the planet. Except he's not one. He's an Omega. Of course, Stiles would turn out to be every type of gay possible.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/4013770    Lucky Penny (Tastes Like Copper on Your Tongue) by pibroch    11k, Peter/Stiles, AU, dark stiles, injury, groping, 

When Peter woke up, he spent a good fifteen or twenty seconds earnestly wishing that whatever had hit him had the courtesy to kill him outright. Because this? This was bullshit.

AKA the time I decided to give Peter all the nice things, but made him get hit by a car first. Like you do.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7233526    Written in Red by gryvon    5k, Peter/Stiles, canon-AU, soulmates, humour, 

Peter had given up hope of ever finding his soulmate until the red string on his finger leads him to a four-year-old. He's going to Hell. Or jail. Or both.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/820526     just like the ocean under the moon by rain_of_stars    23k, Peter/Stiles, love potion, dub-con, fluff, 

When they find the alpha pack, Stiles is calling first dibs. Because trying to kill them all is one thing, but making Peter follow him around like a creepy undead puppy is unforgivable.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/6273163    Save Me by DiscontentedWinter    39k, Peter/Stiles, canon-AU, aftermath of rape, torture, attempted suicide, 

Peter is the Alpha. He's nobody's savior. Not his pack's. Not his town's. And not that kid's. But sometimes salvation goes both ways.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1601951    Under The Weight Of Living by SatanInACroptop    16k, Peter/Stiles, survivours guilt, 

Stiles is having trouble reconciling with the aftermath of the nogitsune. Namely the notion that if Allison were here, Stiles might well not be. Namely the heart stopping fear of what could happen to those still breathing if the next time he wakes up, someone else is opening his eyes for him. Fortunately, there is at least one soul in Beacon Hills with whom he can relate to. Sometimes a little bit of help can be found in the most unlikely of places, including the domicile of Peter Hale, and sometimes, a little bit of sanctuary is all it takes.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/715949    no moral compass, pointing due north by AuntieClimactic    4k, Peter/Stiles, 

“I certainly didn’t suggest anything untoward,” Peter says, honestly perplexed but hiding it by widening his eyes innocently. “I can’t help it if you overreacted to my natural sexual magnetism.”

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1158050     betrayed by bones by veterization    25k, Peter/Stiles, love potion/sex pollen,

Stiles stumbles into wolfsbane that forces him to seek out contact from a particular person to stay alive. That person just happens to be Peter. Stiles hates his life sometimes.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/761191    Feet on the Dash by veterization    9k, Peter/Stiles, road trip, 

It's strange, because to the random unknowing passerby they're just two friends, maybe even family members, taking a road trip in the middle of a sweaty, endless June, but Peter's an ex-serial killer werewolf and Stiles is a little puny human who's eating all the chips like Peter won't rip his throat out if he eats the whole bag without sharing. The road trip part, however, is true.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/754957    Trust Fall by Stoney    144k, Derek/Stiles, body swap, h/c, slow burn, 

Stiles is fairly certain that a case could be made for every bad thing in his life coming back to Peter Hale. This time it's pissing off a powerful witch, who retaliated by swapping Stiles and Derek a la Freaky Friday, because sure. That makes sense. Um, there are GPAs on the line, not to mention the whole thing where his dad wants to shoot Derek on sight. Except who he sees as Derek is actually Stiles, and Stiles did not sign up for filicide.

Great. Wait...does this mean he's the Alpha until they figure this out? Holy. Shit. ****

Derek had stood in front of the bathroom mirror for a few minutes trying to control the panic as he saw himself as Stiles. As the loud mouthed human friend of the pack. He was going to kill Peter. He was going to kill the witch, then he was going to kill Peter. Maybe even resurrect him again just to kill him all over.

They were going to have to play this cool. They would have to stay calm and focused. Which is of course why the universe threw him into this situation with someone who physically couldn't be calm and focused.

Of course.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1884876     But Then What... by Stoney    24k, Derek/Stiles, AU, High school, 

Senior year is almost over, and all Stiles needs to do is keep his head down to survive. A teacher calls in a favor, leaving him stuck tutoring Derek Hale, one of the most popular jocks in school and a member of a group of douchecanoes who have bullied Stiles for years. He's someone Stiles totally hates. Totally. Like, doesn't like him even a little bit. DEFINITELY isn't attracted to him.

Except that is a total lie. Fuck his life, seriously.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/2532104    That's How They Deal With Boys Like Me by taylorpotato    12k, Peter/Stiles, genderfluid character, trans character, misgendering, 

Navigating puberty is hard enough on it's own. But on most mornings, Stiles also has to deal with feeling like he woke up in the wrong body. Peter Hale, of all fucking people, is the only one that seems to understand.

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http://archiveofourown.org/series/684416     The Sheep Chronicles by Guede    122k, Derek/Peter/Stiles, Sheriff/Chris Argent, AU, incest, polyamory, sheep, 

After Derek’s nearly seduced by a hunter into betraying his family, his mother thinks it’s a good idea to send him out into the world and learn how not to fall for traps like that. Peter comes along, because Peter likes exploring, and that’s why they decide to explore a haunted mountain.

Stiles lives on that mountain. With his sheep. They’re very tasty-looking, and well, Derek and Peter are werewolves.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/581108    Men of a Certain Age by peroxidepest17    15k, Sheriff/Chris Argent, 

The Sheriff and Chris Argent do their best impression of Scott and Stiles except without the flailing (because they're too old to flail anymore).

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/971281    Concrete by RarePairFairy    8k, Sheriff/Chris Argent, 

Chris Argent does NOT have a man crush.

Except maybe he does, a bit.

There are hostile creatures appearing in inconvenient places around Beacon Hills, and three families - the Argents, the McCalls and the Stilinskis - are resembling a taskforce.

Chris is beginning to realize that he's tired of watching loved ones get hurt. Sheriff Stilinski couldn't care less, because he's been trained how to use a gun and the bad guy's getting away, so on your feet, old man.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11414910     Poacher’s Delight by Guede    7k, Sheriff/Chris Argent, AU, BDSM, 

What’s clear is that Chris has no right to be hunting where he is, and John’s caught him red-handed. But then it gets a little confusing.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/4678247     Ecosystem Engineering and the Werewolf by Guede   19k,Derek/Peter/Stiles, canon-AU, BDSM, dub-con, 

Stiles and his dad work for the U.S. Forest Service, which sends them to Beacon Hills. It’d be nice if Stiles could stop running into the Hales. He’s got bodies to get rid of. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/4272609    I'll Walk with Your Wolf by iCheat    33k, Peter/Stiles, body swap, 

When Stiles wakes up in Peter's body, he's understandably freaked out. As Stiles starts connecting with the man's wolf, he can't help but reconsider his opinions of Peter. Needless to say, it's a rather confusing time for all involved.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/6147194     Beautician and the Beast by MaroonDragon     18k, Peter/Stiles, AU, 

Peter likes to look good. He sells himself through his looks. So why shouldn't he make sure that he's as handsome as possible when he's shifted? Why would anyone want to have a dry and coarse fur when it's not needed? So he goes to a dog beauty parlour on a regular basis. When Stiles opens up a new shop in town, Peter finds way more than a new place to have his nails trimmed and his hair done. The only problem is, how can he seduce the guy when he's on four paws and believed to be just a very large dog?

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8124766    All In A Spin by ShippersList     12k, Peter/Stiles, AU, permanent injury, aphasia, trauma, 

Stiles can't really talk anymore but, with Peter, he realizes he doesn't have to. Even if their spoken communication consists of one swear word and stuttered syllables, they understand each other. And that's what counts. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/969413    Come Out With Your Hands Up High by dedougal    5k, Sheriff/Chris Argent, magic made them do it,

Kidnapping is all too current an occurrence for Sheriff Stilinski nowadays. But spell casting is one bit of the supernatural he hadn't quite got his mind around just yet. Especially when it's directed at him and his partner in kidnapping, Chris Argent. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/983275     Baby It's Warm Inside by RarePairFairy    4k, Sheriff/Chris Argent, smut, 

Chris is a combination of lethal weaponry, bad dad jokes and domesticity. John is a combination of hot, Old Spice and Jack Daniels. On date night, that somehow translates into lethal hotness, old dad jokes and drinking on the couch. Neither man has extensive experience in the sexual side of man love, but both have extensive experience in improvising. And that will do. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/4316862    To Catch a Fallen Star by cywscross    7k, Peter/Stiles, AU,

Stiles falls. It is not as great a tragedy as he thought it would be. 

actual star!Stiles 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1110615    Sympathy for the Devil by KouriArashi    72k, Peter/Stiles, canon-AU, child abuse, 

Stiles gets a job as a hospital orderly and finds himself becoming strangely attached to the catatonic man on the long-term care ward, and finds out that there's a lot more to Peter Hale than there seems... 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/633727    Amends by AuntieClimactic    18k, Peter/Stiles, future fic, 

Stiles blinks, “You’ve spent the last twenty years in therapy?”

“I had some emotional issues,” Peter admits.

“That’s… hilarious.”

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/5298617     Proposing To Strangers by moonstalker24    50k, Peter/Stiles, AU, bikers, fluff, 

At the end of a strained relationship, crime novelist Stiles chooses to hide from the world inside a bar with far too many motorcycles outside it for comfort. Here he'll meet the man of his dreams, eat food and propose marriage, all within the first five minutes.

Peter doesn't know who this kid is, but he's cute and looks like he could use a break. So he feeds him. He's not expecting a marriage proposal, but with what comes after, he doesn't really mind.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/597049    Bonds of Power by Miya_Morana    18k, Stiles/Derek, power swap, alpha!stiles, human!derek, 

When Stiles suddenly wakes up as an Alpha werewolf and finds out that Derek has become human, he reluctantly accepts Derek’s pack as his while they attempt to find out what exactly happened and how to reverse it. But as they all try to adjust to the situation, the Alpha Pack is breathing down their neck, and they’re going to need all the help they can get to face that threat.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/826201    Miner For Truth and Delusion by blacktofade     20k, Stiles/Derek, love potion, 

Stiles stumbles across what he thinks is a cult in the preserve and ends up cursed so that everyone wants to get with him. It makes it harder for him to get things back to normal, but luckily there's one person who's unaffected.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/877251     Divided We Stand by KouriArashi    156k, Stiles/Derek, AU, misunderstandings, mystery, 

Derek is being pressured by his family to pick a mate, and somehow stumbles into a choice that they didn't expect and aren't sure they approve of....

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/850923    Hard Pressed by pandacowhipster    4k, Stiles/Derek, masturbation, voyeurism, 5+1, 

Derek maintains this wouldn't be an issue if Stiles would just learn to knock.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1381153    Roommate Wanted: No Supernatural Creatures Allowed by veterization    38k, Peter/Stiles, roomates, future fic, 

Stiles is in college, living in a pleasant apartment, and absolutely does not need a roommate. He ends up getting one anyway, and as luck would have it, his roommate turns out to be Peter.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8214182    Adult Wolf by KouriArashi    82k, Peter/Sheriff Stilinski, canon-AU, 

As if Sheriff Stilinski doesn't have enough to deal with, now he's been attacked by some enormous dog in the forest, and that's normal compared to what happens next...

Season one re-telling with Sheriff Stilinski being bitten instead of Scott.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1518449    Binomial Coefficients by DevilDoll     20k, Stiles/Derek, AU, high school, 

In which brainy freshman Stiles Stilinski wants star quarterback Derek Hale to join the math team, AKA math nerds in love.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1204642    Kindred Spirits by Stoney    104k, Stiles/Derek, AU, slow build, pining, homophobia, 

Anne of Green Gables/Teen Wolf AU. [ You do not have to know AoGG to follow this fic, it would only enhance the reading experience. :D ] Essentially the world of Teen Wolf set in the late 1890s, with themes and some minor character names/places specifically borrowed from Anne's world (and no disrespect meant to LM Montgomery, because I love Anne Shirley to bits and pieces.)

Stiles is the adopted son of the Sheriff, brought to Beacon Hills to hopefully stay for good. A family, a best friend, school, Jackson as Josie Pye (because who else could he be?) and the mystery of a dark haired, green-eyed boy which leads Stiles to discovering a secret within himself.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/5299154    here comes trouble by grimm     105k, Stiles/Derek, AU, a/b/o, past rape, past abuse/slavery, trauma, 

All Derek wants is one day where he can sleep without worry of being woken by gunfire, without the threat of death hanging over his head. He wants a full stomach and no pain clinging to his bones, no ache in his feet from months of running. He wants a shower, a safe place to put his head. He wants his family, the healing comfort of pack. He'll never have any of that again.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1124860    What You Can't See by darkmagess    54k, Stiles/Derek, kidnapping, PTSD, torture, 

A new threat comes to Beacon Hills, putting all its supernatural inhabitants in danger. A true alpha and banshee are rare and valuable quarry, but Stiles and Derek are the easiest targets.

do read the short fics linked in the first A/N

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1022356    Stand Fast in Your Enchantments by DevilDoll, Rahciach    76k, Stiles/Derek, AU, kidnapping, captivity, h/c, torture, 

"Stiles knew damn well what a pissed-off wolf sounded like, and every hair on the back of his neck was telling him that somewhere in this room was a very pissed-off werewolf." An AU in which Derek is feral, Stiles is magical, and they eat a lot of fast food.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1491730    Handsome Hobo by relenafanel, Swing Set in December    8k, Stiles/Derek, AU, misunderstandings, humour, 

Derek should probably stop rummaging through garbage if he doesn't want people to assume he's homeless.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/479349     I'm Hunting on the Night (We're Playing for the Fights) by PaddyWack    6k, Stiles/Derek, AU, wolf!Sties, Human!Derek, 

Stiles is the unfortunate wolf that gets into some trouble during his moon cycle. Derek is the hapless hunter that finds him.

Or, the one where Stiles steps in a bear trap and has to be rescued.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/896999    And If I Die Before I Wake by consciousness_streaming    60k, Stiles/Derek, true mates, 

When Stiles wakes up on his eighteenth birthday from a chaste dream about Derek Hale he doesn't think it's a big deal. But when he wakes up the next few days to the same dream, he knows something is going on. And he's going to get to the bottom of it. Once is an incident, twice is a coincidence, and three times is a pattern. More than three is just torture.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7946302     These Woods Sigh by blacktofade      80k, Stiles/Derek, friends with benefits, pining, accidental pregnancy, 

Derek and Stiles never plan to start a family together, it just happens. Or, the one where Derek accidentally wishes for a baby.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11640030     Falling In, Not Through by Julibean19    49k, Peter/Stiles, h/c, body horror, wing kink, alcohol abuse, 

“You need to help me,” Stiles says eventually. He’s still in too much pain to move off the floor, but he’s picked up a stray feather, twirling it between two fingers with a look of pure terror on his face. Peter nods immediately, eager and willing to be involved in whatever this is.

Peter’s eyes flick between the feather spinning between Stiles’ fingers and the harsh angle of the bend of his wings above his shoulders. He doesn’t look like any picture of an angel Peter has ever seen. There should be an elegant swooping curve there, neat little rows of white or gold or silver, pointed tips flung far out from Stiles’ body and a halo above his head. If Stiles is an angel, the myths are all wrong.

In which Stiles finds that he has wings and Peter finds that a pack doesn't always need to be made up of wolves.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/2027388    Revenge Fake Dating Is Totally A Thing by seraphina_snape    32k, Stiles/Derek, fake dating, slow build, 

Sheriff Stilinski walks in on Stiles and Derek in a compromising position and assumes they're in a relationship even though they were just sneaking around to keep the sheriff out of their supernatural shenanigans. Obviously it's all Derek's fault for being so damn suspicious - at least that's Stiles opinion and the reason why he gives Derek a taste of his own medicine when he invites him over for family dinner at his dad's request.

Only then Derek turns the tables on Stiles and before Stiles knows it, they're fake dating for reasons of revenge, one-upmanship and the preservation of Stiles' relationship with his dad.

No way this can go wrong, right?

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/924398    Imperfect Isn't Easy (But It's Us) by RayShippouUchiha    11k, Stiles/Derek+Lydia, voyeurism, possesiveness, 

Derek is so tired of everything being his fault, so tired of always losing. He's also tired of not admitting that he wants to own Stiles in ways he can barely describe.

Or

Derek is far from perfect but maybe that's okay. Maybe in the right company perfect isn't necessary.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/487228     There Ain't No Heaven by blacktofade    4k, Stiles/Derek, masturbation, voyeurism, forced proximity, 

Derek and Stiles are forced to spend the night in a car and Stiles pops an awkward boner.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11066634     I Don't Blame You for Being You (but you can't blame me for hating it) by LadySlytherin    39k, Stiles/Derek, injury, 

Derek hits Stiles with his Camaro - 'Dammit, Stiles, it was an accident!'...'Why don't I believe you?' and hilarity ensues.

this fic contains mpreg, but it’s only a minor plot point and doesn’t actually take place during the actual plot.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7513226     your soul fits where mine feels empty by wishingonalightningbolt    19k, Stiles/Derek, smut, 

He pulls open the door without knocking and gets half a step inside the loft before he notices. Derek—lying on his bed—face down—naked.

-0-

Stiles gets an eyeful. Things go downhill from there.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/612585      Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us by queerly_it_is    12k, Stiles/Derek, bdsm, sub!derek, 

Derek doesn’t get why he likes it so much.

It’s just not -- he hadn’t expected to need this. Not from Stiles. Not from anyone, ever. He doesn’t do this.

Except he does, now. Because it’s for Stiles, and Derek -- fuck, he likes it too.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8179690    I've Been Everywhere With You by Leslie_Knope     61k, Stiles/Derek, theraphy, slow build, 

“Dude, you should totally come with me.”

“What? Like on the road trip?"

“No, come with me. To Austin. Get out of Beacon Hills.”

Derek paused. “What?” he asked again.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/717364     Brilliant & Ridiculous by maderr    10k, Stiles/Derek, fake dating, 

All Derek wanted was for the woman to leave him alone and ring up his groceries. How that led to her thinking Stiles is his boyfriend is something he blames on Stiles and his inability to stay out of trouble for five minutes.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/783841    John Hughes Did Not Direct My Life by nascentgalaxies    48k, Stiles/Derek, AU, high school, slow build, 

Stiles and Derek are childhood friends who drifted apart. When Stiles joins the lacrosse team against his will, the universe (with a little help from Laura and Lydia) chooses to push them back together.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/676633     The Sweetest of Words (Have the Bitterest Taste) by Omni     9k, Stiles/Derek, fake dating, 

“Ah, yeah, Desiree, I told you I was meeting someone. Well, that someone is Derek. My boyfriend. We’re totally in love.” His heart was racing and Derek was holding him so tight it was difficult to turn enough to face the young woman. What he did see of her had his breath catching on fishhooks in his throat. She was normally a relatively pretty girl, with cute round cheeks and large dark eyes, but in that moment she looked…terrifying. Her cheeks seemed gaunt, her eyes glowing like they were little windows peeking into a deep pit of raging flame.

(Or: Five or so years after the show. Stiles is in college, and finds himself getting stalked by a succubus. Derek's determined that the best way to thwart her is to prove that he and Stiles are madly in love. It's not really as much of an act as either seems to think.)

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1183688    i want to say all those things that would be better unsaid by aeneapsych  24k, Stiles/Derek, AU, phone sex, praise kink, teacher/student, 

Derek is a lonely professor who decides to call a phone sex line.

Stiles is a poor grad student who needs to make a living somehow.

"One night stands were never this good. Hell, his previous relationships were never this good. Derek was so screwed, but right now he didn't care."

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1060026     Sense of Home by siny    53k, Stiles/Derek, h/c, angst, hallucinations, 

Home can be a place, but it can also be a person.

After the events with the Nemeton, Stiles starts suffering the consequences of their sacrifice. A journey he attempts to make on his own, but only becomes worse with every step he takes. In the process he seeks comfort in an unexpected place and it draws him toward an unexpected person.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/508648    You Saw Me Standing Alone by orphan_account    43k, Stiles/Derek, 

A pack of alpha werewolves is burning a war path through Beacon Hills; Stiles shouldn’t have the luxury of trying to get laid.    

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1168884    What's Up Pinocchio? by Brego_Mellon_Nin    11k, Stiles/Derek, 

Stiles has settled in for a bit of self indulgence, favorite porn uploaded and ready, his recently neglected dick already stirring. For a few minutes he simply watches as the two guys start kissing and touching, but as soon as the bigger guy starts sucking his partner, Stiles groans and grabs for his own erection. Except, when he grabs hold of it, it feels… foreign in his hand. Pulse jumping, he snaps his eyes downward. Then he sputters and flails, nearly tipping over the edge of the mattress. What the everloving fuck?

Stiles knows his dick, okay? He knows it well. He knows how long it is, how thick it is - measuring is a normal thing for a curious teenager, it really is - but somehow, that’s not true anymore.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/550277    This Time With Feeling by Crimson1    36k, Stiles/Derek, 

"Derek Hale, if you refuse to learn from your past…then you will be doomed to repeat it." In which Derek is turned into a 16-year-old and has to stay with Stiles until they figure out how to turn him back.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7451080     Drown Me with Kisses by LadySlytherin    19k, Stiles/Derek, pining, 

When a rusalka in the preserve nearly kills Stiles with a kiss, Stiles is in grave danger any time he’s near a source of water - not just rivers, lakes, and oceans, but pools, bathtubs, the shower, a sink full of water - you put water in it, and it could probably kill Stiles now. Deaton’s advice? Break the rusalka’s magic with a kiss of opposite power - love to beat out death.   

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/3569615    I Dream of Stiles by runningwithdinosaurs    12k, Stiles/Derek, AU, 

In retrospect, Derek never should have rubbed the lamp.

But Derek did, which is how he got stuck with Stiles, who was truly a terrible genie. He didn’t even do things the way a normal genie was supposed to.

“What do you mean ‘it’s not three wishes’?” Derek bit out, glaring at Stiles, who was perched on the end of his couch. Literally perched. Like crouched on his tip toes.

“I don’t really know how to make it clearer,” Stiles said, long fingers twisting in the bright red hoodie he was wearing. “Is English not your first language? No son tres deseos. Ce ne est pas trois souhaits. To nie trzy życzenia.”

(Or the one where Stiles is a genie and Derek lives broken and alone in New York until a certain mole-covered immortal teenager LITERALLY pops into his life.)

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/751941    Graceless by AsexualDerek (Cammerel)     22k, Stiles/Derek, straight men having gay sex, 

Stiles doesn't ask for much in return, but a 'please' would be nice.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/3097259    Run To You by Emela    31k, Stiles/Derek, feral!derek, h/c,

A witch casts a spell, turning Derek feral and leaving him the equivalent of a frightened puppy. Stiles is the only one he trusts to protect him and of course, Stiles is only too happy to help. (Which has nothing to do with all these feelings he's suddenly having, okay? Derek's just a really cute werewolf puppy.)

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1783486    Lap Magnet by Prairie_Grass    30k, Stiles/Derek, 5+1, accidental bonding, 

Wherein an ill-advised floral arrangement leads to a whole new definition of obliviousness, accidental mate-bonds, and far more sex and tropes than one fic really needs.

or

Five times Derek and Stiles didn’t notice how close they were (literally) and then a whole bunch of times when they did... 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/4035982    You'll Grow Into Your Skin by crossroadswrite    11k, Stiles/Derek, implied mpreg, 

“So funny story,” Stiles winces, “Remember when I joked you couldn’t get me pregnant?”

Derek nods his head. He remembers pretty much everything from that day.

“Right,” Stiles bobs his head, stops himself and does a little ta-da gesture towards Jacy, “Surprise?”

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/696562     Invited Inside by blacktofade    14k, Stiles/Derek, biting, bloodplay,  

Of all the things to finally bite him, a vampire is truly at the bottom of Stiles’ list.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7806307    Hot Pocket Ratio by ShippersList    12k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, incubus, 

At the threat of the alpha pack, all Derek wants is to keep his pack safe and alive. As the last resort, he tries summoning a demon to help with fighting the alpha pack. He gets a bit more than he bargained for.

Or, the story where the classic demon deal of "Will you pledge your firstborn to me?" takes some unexpected turns.  

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/761973    Cosomination by zoemathemata    11k, Stiles/Derek, 5+1, pining, bed sharing, 

For Fictional Force/Hoktauri who prompted “pining! Derek/oblivious! Stiles, graduation day”

Cosominate - To sleep together in the same bed or similar space.

Five Times Derek and Stiles Sleep Together - 4 platonic bed shares and one not-platonic bed share! Features Pining! Derek, Oblivious!Stiles and a very tense moment where Sheriff Stilinski has been hurt! But it all turns out okay. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8016247    Between Dogs and Wolves by artemis69    25k, Stiles/Derek, AU, mafia, violence. pining, 

"This is…not four million in cash,” remarks Stilinski.

“Isaac. Did you fail to get my money back and decided to pick up a stripper on the road to bribe me? Because let me make this perfectly clear: this would totally work. Well done.”

Or

The mafia!AU where the Hales owe four million to the Stilinskis, Laura rents Derek (but not as a stripper), Stiles gets a new favorite, Derek gets a new boss, a new puppy and a new family.

Sometimes they break people, but mainly, they just snark at each other. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/3992896     Wolf in the House by JoeLawson     33k, Stiles/Derek, wolf!derek, 

“What? It’s totally an improvement. He’s not scowling, or dating bad guys, or slinking around in unsanitary places. Still a bit paranoid, but what can you do. At least he’s a lot easier to get along with when you can buy his affections with ear rubs.”

“And you always wanted a dog,” Sheriff added wryly.

“And I always wanted a dog.”  

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1727696    Just the Same by ericaismeg    68k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, highschool, pining, 

Something is seriously up with the captain of the lacrosse team. There's just no way Derek Hale is human. *** “I was wondering if you're even human. You move so quickly. I mean, it's ridiculously fast. No human should be able to move that fast, y'know? It's unfair for us. I mean, it's obvious you work out, and I don't, so that could be why, but like...I was just wondering if you were human, that's all.”

“Stop talking, Stilinski, or I'll—”

“Put me on the bench all season?” Stiles asks knowing full well that Derek Hale can't threaten him with shit.  

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1162093    Lie Down with Dogs by uraneia    3k, Stiles/Derek, slightly subby!derek, aftercare, wolf!derek,

Stiles gives Derek a flea bath. Then things get weird.

*

“Is this a joke?” Stiles says when Derek hands him the bottle. It has to be a joke, right? This is just more evidence of Derek’s redeveloping sense of humor. Ha-ha. He’s hilarious.

“Does it look like I’m joking,” Mr. Murder Eyebrows himself says flatly.

Fuck, he’s not joking.

Stiles turns the bottle over in his hands. No matter how many times he reads it, it still says Flea Treatment Shampoo for Dogs. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1251133    Under The Wolf, Under The Dog by Narcissistic_Ninny    5k, Stiles/Derek, wolf!derek, 

“So, uh, I noticed you’re commando most days. Is that because you have to transform, or cause you just don’t-”

“Oh my god,” he said. “I’m not having this conversation with you.” 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/962660    The Scent of an Oncoming Storm by accol    13k, Stiles/Derek, scent marking, watersports, 

In the weeks after Derek becomes alpha, he and Stiles form a reluctant team   

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/723433    I Ran (So Far) by thepsychicclam    33k, Derek/Stiles,

“But, you don’t run,” Derek pointed out, confused.

 “People can get new hobbies,” Stiles snapped. “Geez, if I’d known it was going to be this big of a deal, I’d have called you first. Want me to give you my workout schedule? That way you can coordinate your nose accordingly?”

In which Stiles' summer starts off so badly he starts running, gets pelted by paint balls, and decides he is, in fact, going crazy if he willingly wants to hang out with Derek Hale.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/467550    The Life of Stiles by rispacooper   14k, Stiles/Derek, scent marking, 

First Stiles is in denial, then he is just confused.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/5640295    As Cryptic as the Moon by Formaldehyde_Eyes    30k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, scent marking, psychic powers, 

“So,” Stiles started, everything about him unsure with how to explain it. “I sometimes have these dreams. About wolves.”

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10374501    It's Platonic Until It's Not by hbunting1403     16k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, scent marking, 

Yes, Scott and Stiles sleep in the same bed. Stiles would rather cut off both of his hands than touch Scott sexually, but he’s no stranger to showing affection, and they cuddle on a pretty regular basis. Their relationship is, in Stiles’ eyes, normal and healthy and exactly what they both need. Then Scott meets Alison, and they fall in love over a fucking pen (which is sickly sweet but so Scott), and Stiles suddenly has a lot more time on his hands.

Cue pottery classes, stargazing, a new friendship, and a lot of (totally platonic) fantasizing.

Even if Derek is hotter than the sun.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/446553     Flipped and Awkwardly Reversed by harlequin421    13k, Stiles/Derek, h/c, 

Scott getting bitten by a werewolf didn’t only change his life; it brought a sourpuss of a creeper werewolf into Stiles life who doesn’t seem to understand the concept of personal space or that windows aren’t doors, or you know, manners.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/4620849    Proprietary by Osidiano    8k, Scott/Stiles, scent marking, praise kink, facials, 

Written for the TWKM: Stiles needs to smell like he's having sex with Scott because SERIOUS REASONS and they decide that a facial is the least awkward way to accomplish that, except they're both way more into it than they expected and things keep escalating. Like, Scott has no idea how this got from 'werewolf-awkwardly-masturbating-several-feet-away' to Stiles telling him, "Maybe. . . Maybe you should rub your dick against my face a little. You know. To make sure I smell believable."

". . .Yeah," Scott pants. "Yeah, that makes sense." 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/751583    The Boy and the Beast by Dira Sudis (dsudis)    116k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, slow build, 

In which events in Beacon Hills go rather differently from the start, and a Beauty and the Beast (ish) story ensues. (Scott is not a teacup and no one sings about their feelings.)

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1035300    Dude, Werewolves by mysecretashes    29k, Stiles/Derek, canon- AU, scent marking, frottage, 

Stiles gets partnered with Cora for a history project, and they become bros. Also, he kind of falls in love with her older brother, Derek.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/2141295    What the Body Grasps Not by sexyvanillatiger    21k, Jackson/Stiles, pre-canon, 

Fulfillment of this prompt from the Teen Wolf Throwback Fest:

"So I have this headcanon that the reason Jackson and Stiles don't get along is because Jackson adored Claudia Stilinski. She was the children's librarian or volunteered at their school a lot, maybe watched Jackson after school, whatever, but she spent a lot of time around the kids, maybe helped Jackson overcome some reading issues, talked to him, listened to him in a way his mother didn't and so Jackson grew attached to her and jealous of Stiles, who always seemed to be acting up and giving her a hard time (pre-medicated ADHD) and Jackson was convinced Stiles didn't deserve her. Then she died. So Jackson doesn't know how to deal with that and Stiles is barely coping and maybe words are said which leads to years of actual, seething hatred, culminating in hate sex. Lots of hate sex. That. Keeps. Happening."  

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/625632     Goldilocks by tourdefierce    11k, Stiles/Derek, bed sharing, 

It may be the wrong fairytale to fit their odd world, but Derek was most definitely Goldilocks, and somehow, Stiles' bed was juuuuuust right.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9641306     Without You by fearfrost1211    4k, Stiles/Derek, touch starved, frottage, first time, 

Half a choked laugh boils up out of him. He had sex with Derek Hale.

Sex. With Derek.

He's never going to be able to shower in the locker room again.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/3904933    Little Wild Animal by DiscontentedWinter     61k, Stiles/Derek, AU, fluff, 

Derek Hale finds a feral human on his pack's property. Humans are supposed to be extinct. But then, Stiles is full of surprises. 

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Star Wars

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/5638204    step out into the sun by plutos    71k, Poe/Finn, slow burn, fake relationship, accidental marriage, pining, fluff, 

“I gotta talk to you, buddy, real quick,” Poe says lowly, and grabs Finn’s hand to haul him back out of the mess hall. His pilot friends cheer loudly, Karé yelling something about keeping it decent, and Finn barely has a second to process it before Poe’s yanking him away and into a deserted side corridor.

“I can explain,” he says quickly, running his spare hand through his hair.

“Well good,” Finn snaps hotly, “Because I’ve had a really fucking weird day.” _____________________________

Otherwise known as: Finn Is An Oblivious Numbskull, or: the one where Finn gets a name, a jacket, a droid, and a marriage out of nowhere in only a few short weeks.

the softest fic

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/5926144    tell me about the big bang by thebrotherswinchester    37k, Poe/Finn, slow burn, pining, angst, 

There is a part of him that says: you are not human.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/5798602     have you heard by peradi    42k, gen, side ships, revolution, propaganda, redemption, 

"I heard FN-2187 was a Stormtrooper."

--

Finn sparks a revolution.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/5619475    my own secret ceremonials. by ameliorates    3k, Finn/Rey/Poe, UST, mutual masturbation, 

the mathematics are simple. the reality is a hot, sticky delirium. -- poe struggles with frustrated longing.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/5753218    BB-Gate by ignitesthestars, nymja     5k, Jessika Pava/Rey, 

Jessika and Rey attempt to solve one of the galaxy's greatest mysteries: was BB-8 giving a thumb's up or the middle finger?

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Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/8763691    Horrible and Terrible and Good All At Once by Mellow_Yellow    72k, Credence/Graves, arranged marriage, 

Graves was a lead Auror, and as such prided himself on his ability to stay calm in a crisis, to keep his head, to remain even-keeled and articulate no matter the situation. So no one was more surprised than he was when he opened his mouth and heard himself blurting out, “Excuse me, ma’am, but I would like to purchase your son.”

Seemingly without hesitation, and before Mary Lou had the chance to respond, Credence burst forth with his own, “Yes, sir, you may have me.”

Then they both fell silent, equally shocked at their words. Merlin’s balls. Somewhere upstate, Graves was sure his father had just burst into laughter and had no idea why.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9136114    Roche Limit by Rrrowr    19k, Credence/Graves, a/b/o, 

Thirty years, Graves has managed to hide this, smothering the very base notes of his scent with suppressants while keeping intact the identifying markers — chocolate, blood orange, and ash. Thirty years, he's managed to kill every instinct he has to bare his throat when challenged, funneling his nurturing instincts into a desire to protect, widening his idea of family to include all of wizardkind. For thirty years, he spent his heats doubling up on potions and taking sick days when that wasn't enough.

Thirty years spent facing that challenge, and now — all of it threatened by the fact that he wanted, for just one night, to be himself.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9095290    the king of oak bysaltpans    38k, Credence/Graves, recovery, slow burn, fae, 

The first thing Percival Graves does after being released back into the world is buy a new wand. He's at Greymalkin's for ten minutes and the only wand that works for him is raw aspen, whiter than bone and so rough that Graves gives himself a splinter conjuring a storm of birds. The wand—dragon heartstring, a most unusual wand for an American wizard, according to a flustered Greymalkin—feels wild, and Graves empties half his wallet on the counter and keeps his hand on his new wand all the way home.

The second thing he does is quit his job, because honestly.

("Grindelwald did his research before he put on your face," Seraphina says reasonably. "And it's not like you're open with your personal life. He has us all fooled."

"He wore scorpion stickpins!" Graves shoots back, somewhat less reasonably.

Seraphina looks at Graves, his pressed creases, his immaculate shirt, the red ruby cufflinks he's wearing to hide the starved brittleness of his wrists. "I'm sorry," she says. It is not enough to make him stay.)

The third thing he does is get jumped by Credence Barebone in an alley.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9904355     Nothing Shall be Impossible by terriblelifechoices    61k, Credence/Graves, dub-con, forced pregnancy, prison, protectiveness, fluff,

Inspired by a prompt on the kinkmeme:

Grindelwald figures Credence is too old and damaged to be useful, but his genes are clearly strong. Graves' genes are pretty awesome too with wandless magic and whatnot. So he decides to make them do it and train their offspring as perfectly loyal soldiers.

___

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?” Graves asked.

Grindelwald sighed, as if he found Graves’ questions tedious. “I told you,” he said. “I’ve Seen your child. Together, the two of you will produce a wizard so powerful that the armies of the world will tremble before him. He will be the first and most honored among my generals, and together we will usher in a new era of peace and prosperity for wizard-kind.”

“You know,” Graves said, conversational. “When I asked you if you were out of your goddamn mind, the short answer would have been to just say yes.”

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9157615    your need grows teeth by alamorn    10k, Credence/Graves, 

There is something that Credence never told Mr. Graves. The man he thought was Mr. Graves. The man who cupped his skull and slapped his face.

Some of the wounds he healed for Credence were not from Mary Lou. Whenever he woke from lost time, he would find deep gashes around his fault lines, like a cheap toy put poorly together. He did not tell Mr. Graves that he did not know how he got them, just allowed him to smooth them away.

Note: this does not contain self harm.

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Harry Potter   

(also, The Cursed Child) 

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http://archiveofourown.org/series/583285     Alone series by mischiefmanager    3k, Albus Severus/Scorpius, masturbation, 

Albus is an angst-monster who is in love with his best friend and it is absolutely tearing him apart.

Scorpius is a cinnamon roll who is in love with his best friend and it's...well, maybe a bit lonely but mostly overall it's pretty brilliant!

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7331278    Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by waspabi    93k, Harry/Draco, canon-AU, pining, 

'You're a wizard, Harry' is easier to hear from a half-giant when you're eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you're seventeen and late for work.    

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/6239806     Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi    57k, Harry/Draco, post-hogwarts, pining, 

Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.

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Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/247621    Detente by entanglednow     3k, Dr.Horrible/Captain Hammer, 

"I'm your nemesis, you're not supposed to be having sex dreams about me, what would your psychiatrist say?"

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/138889     Echoes in a Lonely World by etothepii     8k, Dr. Horrible/Captain Hammer, empathy bond, 

Dr. Horrible carries his device (it doesn’t have a name yet, but he’s been mentally referring to it as "That Empathy Thing") with him on heists for a week and a half before Captain Hammer finally shows up. Not nearly as serious as the title suggests.

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Dream Daddy: a Dad Dating Simulator

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11613825    An Intervention by Tenebrosa    2k, Craig/Robert, praise kink, 

Craig needs to loosen the fuck up and damn if Robert isn't the King of Relaxation. How he does it might be a little...unorthodox, but really, who's gonna judge them all the way out here?

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11652366    I'm Selfish, I'm Obscene by passionfruits    7k, Joseph/Robert, 

A collection of Roseph intimacy. A bittersweet treatise on the unholy trinity of Joseph, Robert, and Mary.

AKA how much kink, fluff, and angst can I shove in one messy PWP dump? If you haven't read covet yet, I recommend doing that first. It's a good prequel.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11688816    Whatever's Written in Your Heart by captaincharming    16k, Joseph/Robert, infidelity, 

“Hey,” Robert says again, turning Joseph’s face back to his. “Look at me. You think Mary don’t already think this is happening? She’s been asking me for years if I’m screwing her husband yet.”

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Lucifer

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9329171    Worthy and Forgiven by Erya    31k, Lucifer/Dan, friendship, 

In which Dan accidentally winds up in a confused sort of maybe friendship with the Devil himself, through absolutely no fault of his own.

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Stranger Things 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7662067    Have Happened by cortexikid    43k, Jonathan/Steve/Nancy, slow burn, 

"I overheard you. You were talking in your sleep.”

Steve's heart fluttered nervously.

“It was a little funny at first,” Nancy admitted, her tone a mix of teasing and apologetic, “you were moaning my name and I thought it’d be kinda funny if Mike accidentally overheard you having a sex dream about his sister—”

Steve couldn’t control the guffaw that escaped him.

“But then you said Jonathan’s name. Right after mine. All in the same breath.”

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Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11917929    the destiny of human handwriting by cosmicocean, princessparadox   53k, Todd/Dirk, soulmates, 

Even from a young age, he isn’t a romantic. It’s around third grade that kids start writing to their Match, eight year olds asking questions about their name, where they’re from, what they like, who they are. Todd doesn’t. He’s not really into the idea of Matches, even if it’s something he can’t change. People fall in love with people. If he falls in love, he’s not going to fall in love with someone who he knows only from ink on his arms that he didn’t put there.

Whoever his Match is, however, does not feel the same way. His left arm (so he must be right handed) is covered with doodles. Crude flowers drawn with what looks like ballpoint pens, so lots of skipping and gaps in the lines. Sometimes the outlines of hearts that look like fountain pens, but are smudged quickly, the ink running too hard.

Soulmate AU where anything you write on your arm appears visible on your soulmate's. Written for the Dirk Gently Big Bang 2017.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9630893    Electric Ghost Rhino by Lavellington    8k, Todd/Dirk, pre-slash, bed sharing, 

Dirk and Todd are not co-dependent, exactly. They've just had a rough couple of weeks. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/9619238   Delete Me, Repeat Me, Let's Try This Again by coloursflyaway    6k, Todd/Dirk, pining, 

Dirk is in love with Todd, that much is clear. The question is what Todd intends to do with that information.

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