#idk if i’d love him this much without hamilton

[beanbeansson]

rogue rogue rogue rogue doctor and rogue rogue rogue rogue and the doctor and ruby and rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue omg sutekh met rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue rogue

i might slightly be losing the plot

[leclercsainzz]

i was listening to “all to well” by taylor swift and the part where she sings “i still remember the first fall of snow” (pretty much verse 6) came on and i remember i had seen a nico rosberg x lewis hamilton edit to this song a few nights ago and i was wondering if you could do one where reader is nico’s sister and she dated lewis but they fell of because of the whole brocedes friendship fall out and the fans associate them with this specific song/verse .. basically brocedes situation but instead it’s reader x lewis (idk if all this makes sense lol)

DO YOU REMEMBER IT ALL TOO WELL?

PAIRINGS: lewis hamilton x rosberg sister!reader

TYPE: social media au

ynrosberg

liked by danielricciardo, nicorosberg and 645,927 others

ynrosberg: weekend photo dump or whatevaaa 🤷🏼‍♀️

tagged: @nicorosberg @danielricciardo

view 6,026 comments

user: omG i stiLL CaNnoT beliEVE MOTHER PULLED UP TO THE HUNGARIAN GRAND PRIX AKAKD!!!!!

↳ user: apparently she only went to support danny bc she promised him that she’d show up to a race if he came back 😭

user: does anyone know if lewis and her interacted??!!?

user: gorgg 😍😍😍

zayn: 😍

↳ user: are they dating??

↳ user: zayn??? 👀 what are you doing here??

user: not nico using memes 💀 LMAOOO

↳ nicorosberg: it was actually a gif 😭

↳ user: pLease, this makes it 10x better

danielricciardo: ❤️❤️

user: still can’t believe mother pulled up and we didn’t get a single interaction with dad 😭😭

user: it’s the waY LEWIS WALKED BY HER WITHOUT SPARING HER A GLANCE 😭😭😭💔

↳ user: i cried when i saw that 😭😭 like why’d they show us?

user: so is everyone gonna ignore the last post?? 444?? 4’s??? who is associated with 4? lewis mf 44 hamilton?? hello?

user: lewis????

user: will forever hold on to the idea that they’ll get back together soon 😌

user: i love how everyone is bringing up lewis as if they didn’t end on bad terms lmao

fernandoalo_official: glad to see my spanish lessons taught you something 👍🏼

aussiegrit: it’s britney bitch

📌 pinned

user: not her pinning webber’s comment 💀

user: thE things i’d do to see a lewis comment or like 😩

user: just thinking about the fact that yn & lewis might’ve seen each other at the race but refused to interact w each other 😭

↳ user: they did:( and they ignored each other

user: can someone please tell me if her and lewis talked?

user: i just know they refused to look in each other’s directions

↳ user: stop 😭😭😭 you’re right, they didn’t 💔💔💔

user: 4?? lewis??

user: missing ynlewis hours 😓

user: ugh, she’s soo pretty 😍😍😍

user: how can one be this beautiful? 😩

ynrosberg

liked by sebastianvettel, kendalljenner and 610,749 others

ynrosberg: photo dump pt 2 🤪

view 5,146 comments

user: all too well 10 min ver. (taylor’s version)??? yes or yes??

↳ ynrosberg: always!!! 💗

user: LEWIS LEWIS LEWIS LEWIS LEWIS LEWIS

user: 😍😍😍😍😍

zayn: thanks for the pic creds

↳ yourusername: yea yea

georgerussell63: i see my name 👀

user: i pray lewis and her will get back together

user: wishing for a ynlewis interaction 😩😩

↳ user: same, sis, same!

user: her smile in the third post 🥰

kendalljenner: 😍😍 beauty

↳ ynrosberg: mwahh 😘

user: when she listens to taylor swift >>

nicorosberg: never got my ice cream 😕

↳ ynrosberg: oops???

user: I REMEMBER IT ALL TOO WELL

user: i literally just saw a ynlewis edit to all too well!!! janskdnd

↳ user: SEND ME THE LINK, NOW

↳ user: ^ me too, please!!!

↳ user: wtF, iM crying 😭😭😭😭

user: i just need to know that her and lewis are on good terms, my mental health depends on this info

↳ user: hate to break it to you …. but ….

↳ user: they literally walked by each other TWICE during the hungarian gp and didn’t acknowledge each other 💔💔💔💔

user: does anyone know if lewis and yn are friends at least?

↳ user: girl??? they don’t even follow each other 🙂

user: she looks happy, he looks happy … they moved on .... maybe it’s time for us all to move on as well? 😔😔😔

↳ user: nO, i cant 😔 i rEfuse!!

user: who’s lewis??? and what does he have to do with yn and nico?? (i don’t mean to offend anyone, i just keep seeing so many comments regarding lewis … is he a driver like nico or??)

↳ user: long story short, lewis hamilton is a formula 1 driver (yes), him and nico used to be teammates .. they were pretty much fighting for the championship and in the process their friendship started to fall apart due to their rivalry and ig yn pushed lewis away after nico won and retired

↳ user: wasn’t it because lewis said he didn’t want distractions and wanted to focus on his career?

↳ user: tbh i’m not sure, they never really confirmed anything

lewishamilton

liked by georgerussell63, neymarjr and 784,837 others

lewishamilton: season so far ✌🏾

tagged: @georgerussell63 @fernandoalo_official

view 7,937 comments

user: ROSCOE!!!!

user: i wonder if roscoe misses mother as much as i do 😭

user: dad, please get back with mom!! 🙏🏼

user: my man everybody 😍😍😍

user: i heard from a friend that george “kidnapped” roscoe and took him to see yn

↳ user: wait wtf, are you being frr??? 😭😭 don’t play with me

↳ user: idk if it’s true

↳ user: i wonder how roscoe reacted when he saw yn, if he did

georgerussell63: roscoe 🥰

↳ lewishamilton: dognapper

↳ georgerussell63: i did it for the greater good:)

↳ user: wAit omgsksn does that mean he actually took roscoe to see yn or???? omg wkakalsk 🥺🥺🥺

user: he’s so fine 😩

fernandoalo_official: 😎

user: WAIT DID GEORGE REALLY TAKE ROSCOE TO GO SEE YN?? BC IF SOOO IMA CRY 😭😭😭😭

user: ya’ll remember when roscoe would pull up with both his parents to the paddock?? 😔 ahh, good old times

user: @sebastianvettel sebs, i need you to work your magic and reunite my parents, please

user: not getting over how they just walked past each other as if they didn’t spend 4 years together 💔

user: the fit 🔥

user: things that keep me up at night: brocedes & ynlewis

↳ user: ^ THIS!!!!

user: ya’ll ever thing about the what-if of ynlewis??

user: goat with a another goat (alonso) 🤩

user: they day yn and lewis reunite will be magical

user: missing the yn comments/likes 🥺🥺🥺

carlossainz55: 🤩🤩🤩

user: 7 years ago, ynlewis broke my heart 😭😭😭

↳ user: don’t forget brocedes 😭😭

↳ user: can’t believe it’s been 7 years, mate

user: i wonder if they privately talk, yk??

↳ user: never thought of that but i hope they do, tbh

sebastianvettel: ❤️

user: roscoe’s too adorable!! 🥺❤️

user: i know they’ll find their way to each other eventually

ynrosberg

liked by zayn, danielricciardo and 671,048 others

ynrosberg: life so far 💗 (p.s. happy 8 months, lover)

view 5,937 comments

user: mOTHER?????? who is that????

user: 8 months???? wtf?? hello?? since when???

user: what about lewis??!

user: looks like mother gave us another dad 😔

↳ user: lewis is MY dad, idcc … zayn can be my step dad

user: so you’re telling me lewis and yn getting back together won’t happen anytime soon?? 😭😭

zayn: ❤️

↳ user: wAIT!!!! ZAYN??!??? OMG MAKALANS I KNEW THE TATTOOS LOOKED FAMILIAR WHSLs

↳ user: one direction guy????

nicorosberg: cute

↳ ynrosberg: 😌

user: they’ve been together for 8 months?? 😮😮

user: it all makes sense, i just never connected the dots

user: this was not on my 2023 bingo card 😩

user: ngl but this is actually cute

danielricciardo: cats out the bag, yayyy 🥳

↳ user: YOU KNEW!/@/&/@/‘s

user: i wonder how lewis is feeling rn

↳ user: as if he cares

user: mom, what about dad?? 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔

user: @lewishamilton

user: nooooOo i miss dad 😭😭

user: allbio984!;’al hepan huh?!?!@ what?&@“”

user: ig those rumors a few months ago were true

↳ user: which ones???

↳ user: they were seen together like 3 months ago and there were speculations that they were together but it was never confirmed until now 😭

user: i’m still at the restaurant with dad 😢😢😢

user: yn, you’re breaking my heart 💔💔 we want dad

user: scReaming and goiNg apeshit alapamcbh93&,!;@/

user: lewis officially lost her 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

user: i can’t believe this wtf

lewishamilton

liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 793,927 others

lewishamilton: all too well

view 7,947 comments

user: DAD IS QUOTING “ALL TOO WELL”

user: roscoe owns my heart, idcc 🥺🥺

user: you remember it all too well, huh? 🥺

user: ya’ll remember yn posted a photo dump a while ago and one of the pic was a “all too well” aesthetic and now he’s using it as his caption??? he definitely misses her 😭😭😭

user: “just between us do you remember it all too well” you remember, she remembers, we all remember 💔

user: dad, we know know you miss mom and uncle nico

↳ user: 😭😭😭 stopp

user: roscoe 🥰🥰🥰

user: mom’s got a new boyfriend

user: ynlewis/brocedes will forever be my roman empire

georgerussell63: roscoe’s such a cutie!

↳ user: idc if you have to break yn and zayn up but we NEED our og parents back, please 🙏🏼

user: they were THE COUPLE

user: she definitely haunts all his what-ifs 😭😭

↳ user: he should’ve married her when he had the chance

↳ user: will never get over him choosing his career over her

user: @ynrosberg

user: i miss them everyday 😩

user: i often think about how if brocedes never ended the way they did they would’ve been together, just maybe

↳ user: i think about this everyday 😩😩😩😩

↳ user: they would’ve been married and with a kid by now

maxverstappen1: have you been hitting the gym?

↳ lewishamilton: always

user: it’s never too late, don’t give up

↳ user: she’s with zayn

user: i still hold on to the possibility that they’ll get back together eventually

user: timing was wrong bc they were in different stages of their lives but i believe they’ll always be soulmates ❤️

user: why’d they break up??

↳ user: bc yn wanted a family and lewis was too focused on his career at the time, i guess

user: roscoe’s a child of divorce like us 😭😭

user: convinced myself that taylor wrote verse 6 about them in all too well (10 min ver)

user: i wonder if he ever gets deja vu when he sees her or viceversa

user: ynlewis keeps me up at night

user: we lost two amazing things 😔 ynlewis & brocedes

↳ user: we can all collectively agree it’s mercedes fault

ynrosberg

liked by nicorosberg, sebastianvettel and 710,019 others

ynrosberg: an adventure is about to begin 🥰

tagged: @zayn

view 6,984 comments

user: mother is becoming a mother??!? omg 😭😭

user: congratulations!!!

zayn: can’t wait for our little one ❤️

↳ ynrosberg: ❤️❤️❤️

user: im not crying, you are 😭

user: the fact that’s she’s becoming a mother 😭 w/o lewis

user: this could’ve been lewis

↳ user: if only 😔

sebastianvettel: happy for you, congrats! ❤️❤️

↳ ynrosberg: ❤️❤️

nicorosberg: can’t wait till i’m officially an uncle 😢

↳ ynrosberg: ilyyyy ❤️

danielricciardo: IM GONNA SPOIL THAT KID

aussiegrit: congrats, yn

↳ ynrosberg: 😊😊 thanks youuu

jensonbutton: ❤️❤️❤️ congrats

↳ ynrosberg: 🥰

fernandoalo_official: 🥳🥳🥳

georgerussell63: can i be the uncle too??

↳ ynrosberg: why not 🤪

user: AHHH IM SOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!

kendalljenner: congrats, my love 🥳❤️❤️❤️

user: im so happy for her but all i can think about is lewis

user: mom becoming a mom without dad 😭😭😭😭

user: ya’ll imagine if it would’ve been lewis 😩

user: her dream came true 😭😭

carmenmmundt: ahh congratulations 🥰🥰🥰

↳ ynrosberg: ❤️❤️

heidiberger__: congrats, beautiful 💗💗

↳ ynrosberg: 🥰🥰

lewishamilton: congratulations!

↳ ynrosberg: thank you!!

↳ user: i waS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS 😭😭😭😭

↳ user: why’d he have to do this??? 😭

↳ user: the way this could’ve been him

user: lewis commented omg 😢😢😢

↳ user: i just know he’s regretting everything

user: lewis 💔💔💔

user: i know dad’s crying over this cause so am i

user: we’re all child of divorce 😭😭😭

[djxiao]

I'm nosy but who is your bias in F1? idk what to call it, I only know kpop lingo 💀

we should all start using kpop terminology for f1 lol. ok im not sure how familiar you are with so idk how much info to include about each of them and im trying very hard not to list like half of the drivers because there’s only 20 at a time (not including reserve drivers) and they’re all so compelling and interesting in their own ways but for the current 2024 lineup i’d say my bias is charles leclerc from ferrari!!

charles is from monaco and currently 3rd in the championship and he definitely used to be more of a little racing gremlin, he’s matured over the years and his driving reflects that. i know he still has it in him though he isn’t called ‘il predestinato’ for nothing! and with all the changes in staffing happening in the ferrari garage and the car upgrades coming this race weekend i have high hopes for charles and the team! italian men go absolutely wild for him and the catholic church has all but canonized him as a saint. the motivation behind his loyalty to ferrari is a long story but essentially tragic backstory = sense of duty to the team and the people he loves.

-

ok now for my other two who you could call bias wreckers if we’re sticking to kpop terms, my two retirees nico rosberg and sebastian vettel.

these two cannot be discussed without mentioning the other as they are part of the unholy german trinity along with the goat of all time michael schumacher. sebastian was michael’s protégé since childhood meanwhile nico was michael’s teammate but the protégé of michael's rival, mika hakkinen (who in turn was his father’s protégé.) the real life succession of it all. the dynamics are sooo so juicy.

-

oh nico my nico. 2000s pretty boy of f1. son of world champion keke rosberg, agonizing need to prove he’s not just a nepo baby, not just a second fiddle to his world champion teammates, that he's a talented driver in his own right. proved himself by winning the 2016 championship and immediately quit. icon. he’s living his best housewife life now but he’s super knowledgeable about the sport and has the best takes on the rare occasions he decides to commentate.

-

seb. most successful rebranding of all time do NOT let the nerdy outdoorsy eco activist image fool you this man was a speed demon back in the day he didn’t become a 4x world champ by wearing his rainbow shirts and beekeeping on his days off okay he terrorized everyone on track for years. got a penalty just 6 seconds into his career during his first ever f1 race for speeding in the pit lane before the race even started. i love him dearly.

-

some honorable mentions go to mercedes drivers lewis hamilton and george russell and mclaren driver oscar piastri!

i love winners who lose. lewis is a british 7x world champion who hasn’t won a race since 2021. not his fault the mercedes car currently sucks but like it sucks so bad he’s leaving the team he’s been so loyal to for over a decade and moving to ferrari in 2025 and will be on the team with charles! he’s just the loveliest human being really truly just such a good guy. fashionista!!! and remember nico? yeah so does lewis even when he pretended to forget him that one time he was listing past teammates. neither have ever recovered from their codependent homoerotic friendship breakup. drivers, they’re just like us.

-

next we have george the baddest bitch around

also british. he IS the moment. girlbossed his way into formula racing and team mercedes by showing up alone to the team principal’s office at age 15 armed with nothing but a suit and a word document file. was appointed director of the driver’s union in only his third year of f1. he makes bold racing decisions and while it doesn’t always work out in his favor he has the mentality that you need to take risks to get results. i feel like his eyes are on the future though and i see him being a higher up in the company one day.

-

and finally oscar the aussie newbie!

standing man emoji 🧍 has so much natural talent and won a sprint race in his first season last year! one of the most level headed drivers right now, he can stay so calm and collected during high adrenaline moments and i think that’s part of what makes him so successful. he can come across as a little uninterested and unenthusiastic but he’s a cool guy and very loved you just have to understand his vibe first. personally i think either he or charles will be the next new championship winners. driving for mclaren and only got half the car upgrades his teammate got last race weekend but the new car is looking GOOD and he should be getting the rest of the upgrades for this next race!

[goldengoddess]

hi i have a kaz x reader request!! can you do one where kaz proposes to the reader?? that seems so cute tbh

will you marry me - kaz brekker

pairing: kaz brekker x reader

a/n: i listened to helpless from the hamilton musical while writing this so do with that what you will,,,, kaz would definitely do this just so u know (idk if kaz would consider marrige but if he did this is how it would go)

warnings: nothing ?? proposals ? kaz it a tiny bit more touchy :)

kaz brekker was not one for romantic gestures, frankly he it quite the opposite. every confession of love was silent, hidden, usually given in the privacy of his room.

but he knew you.

and he knew that proposals were meant to be romantic gestures. they were meant to represent the start of a different era of love. he’d heard you tell nina about a hundred times how romantic your parents proposal had been. he’d seen the dreamy look in your eyes the time a public proposal had happened in front of the two of you.

so he was dead set on making sure his proposal to you was everything you wanted it to be. and if there was one thing dirty hands was good at, it was making a solid plan. and a couple solid back up plans.

so he was very annoyed to see your annoyed face on the morning he was going to propose to you. 

you grumbled as you walked across the room to the kitchen where you could finally get some coffee. over her own mug, nina chuckled at your state. “looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed” she giggled and took a sip of what was probably hot chocolate. 

you mumbled a quick ‘fuck you’ and made your way closer to kaz. you quickly planted a good morning kiss on his cheek like you always did. it was part of your routine, that way he knew it was coming and was never surprised or taken aback by the act. your grumpy mood chipped away a little at the way that kaz’s lips quirked upwards as you pulled away. 

you shuffled over to the coffee pitcher just as jesper made his way into the room. he was humming something under his breath and you leaned your head closer so you could listen.

you furrowed your brows in confusion, “jesper? why are you humming the wedding song?”

he stopped in his tracks and shared a quick look with nina and then kaz. he turned to you and grinned, “no reason! just in a good mood, excited for our job later today.”

you huffed and shook your head, “at least one of us is.”

the rest of the day went by the way they always do before a big heist: slowly. it consisted of jesper running around the slat pumped up with too much adrenaline. inej taking out all of her smaller knives from their hiding spots (who knew she kept three under the couch cushions) and strapping them to her sides. wylan drawing out the outline of the mercher house one more time. matthias grumbling about the legality and necessity of what they were doing. nina sitting on his lap so he would shut up. 

and kaz, your sweet kaz, going over the plan in his head while observing you. 

later on, as you were all in your respective positions for the job, you couldn’t help but wonder why kaz had paired the two of you together. when the two of you had started dating, he had told you that he couldn’t trust his own instincts around you. and for that reason, you were always paired with another crow and he usually worked with jesper of inej. but not tonight. 

“kaz?” you questioned, “why are you and i working together tonight?”

you didn’t notice the way his hands hesitated on the lock that he was currently trying to pick. he turned to you and your breath caught in your throat, like you were seeing him for the first time again. it was midnight, there was little light anywhere. but somehow the moonlight illuminated kaz’s face perfectly. he looked beautiful. 

he shrugged and went back to his lock, “just thought it could be interesting to switch things up. this job is simple enough, nothing will go wrong.”

his words set you off slightly. your kaz would never take a chance like that. it wasn’t his style. kaz tended to ignore the odds, but never when it came to you. he’d promised a long time ago to not let his own grudges or greed put you in harms way. what was different about tonight?

before you could ask him, the lock clicked open and kaz swung the door to the hallway open. he extended his arm in invitation, “after you.”

you narrowed your eyes at him but stepped into the room. you took a deep breath and felt yourself relax at the oddly familiar scent of roses. you scanned the room and felt a smile slip into your face at the sight of yellow roses. waking closer to them, you ghosted your hands over the petals. 

you looked over at kaz with a small smile, and found he was already smiling at you. “your favorite flower” he said, stepping right next to you. 

you nodded your head in awe, you hadn’t seen yellow roses in a very long time. kaz dipped his hand into the vase and snapped the step of one of the flowers. he turned to you and handed you a single rose. you grinned and took the flower from him, tucking it gently into your backpack. “thank you honey” you giggled and then quietly moved down the hall. 

kaz stopped you in front of a room with a golden and elaborately decorated door. he motioned for you to open the door and you nodded your head, following his instruction. when you walked in the room was practically empty. the only thing inside was a glass case at the center of the room. you tip toed closer and found a tiny jewelry box. you slowly opened the glass casing and grabbed the small jewelry box, assuming this was the ‘big prize’ kaz had claimed they would find during this job. 

“open it” you heard kaz say from behind you. 

so without looking at him, you opened the tiny black box. what was inside, took the air out of your lungs. it was a tiny silver ring with a shiny black stone at the center. without realizing, you let out a little gasp. 

you started turning your body to face kaz, “kaz what is-”

but before you could say anything you found kaz kneeling on one knee, firmly holding onto his cane for the balance. you let out yet another gasp and nearly dropped the likely expensive ring in your hand. 

“angel” he started speaking

“kaz,” you interrupted him breathlessly, “what are you doing?”

he gave you his favorite mischievous smile, the smile that didn’t quiet reach his eyes but shined playfully in his eyes. “i’m doing my best to propose darling.”

another gasp on your part. 

he chuckled, “i have spent a lot of my life closing off my heart. making it impossible to reach. but then you came along and broke down my walls brick by brick. and impossibly, my heart became yours forever. so i thought it was only appropriate to put a much deserved ring on your finger. so, what do you say angel? will you marry me?”

you let out a small sniffle, happy tears falling down your cheeks. “yes! i want to marry you, i do!” you laughed happily and rushed over to kaz.

you helped him to his feet and he smiled, “excited are we? you’re not supposed to say ‘i do’ just yet darling.”

you lightly punched his shoulder. you moved your eyes to his lips and then back to his eyes, asking for permission. his grin and the quick nod of his head told you everything and you surged forward to kiss him. 

after a few seconds you pulled back and you know that you’ve never smiled as brightly as you are in that moment, “you never fail to surprise me brekker. can’t believe you pulled off a fake heist just for me.”

“i’d do anything for you” he answered quickly. 

“even marry me?”

“especially marry you.” 

taglist;

@vintagebitc @obiwansjedi @thegirlwiththeimpala @hybrid-in-progress @mrs-brekker15 @mrsbrekkers @simplyluvzuko @ode-to-joy @gallysonegoodlung @sixofshadowandbone @castielcouldbeasecretdentist @meiitanoia @caaarstairs @itisroe @the-jess-life @xsamsharons @heavenlymidnight @wtfrae @dreamer-writer-fangirl @bookishcrows @tulipsxbooks @thehighladyofday @seven-halfbloods

if your name is in bold it means i couldn’t tag you!

[inkofamethyst]

November 11, 2022

I actually did the worst on my open book popgen exam lol (not that it mattered anyway).  I’m in a good place grade-wise, I think.

You know, all of these programs conveniently leave out the fact that not only do you have to submit a personal statement, but you have to also write four, five, six other little essays on random (they’re related) topics.  Like,,, HUH.  I just thought I’d pop in with a quick “boy howdy I wanna be a scientist, a woman in stem, a personified bunsen burner” and then be met with a round of applause and a stipend but apparently that’s not enough these days.

Also some of my apps are asking about my sexuality and that was definitely not a thing four years ago and like idk I know some ace folk feel like they fit in the queer community and that’s totally fine and I love my little hahaheehee’s on acetok but putting it in writing (yes, I recognize the irony considering the nature of this blog)???  FIRST of all I don’t know if this is real or if it’s purity culture-induced guilt.  I could get married and it all falls away and suddenly you’ve got a sexual being on your hands (one in need of therapy tho bc I’ve heard it’s a difficult switch to make).  SECOND what if it changes.  I dunno I just.. there is no truly permanent sense of self and.. ugh.  I mean I could say I’m aro/ace and they’ll be like “wow so she won’t be distracted by boys she’s a safe bet” but what they don’t know is that I’ll be distracted by everything else.

On a lighter note, listen.  I get it, LMM maybe wasn’t at all what we were expecting from Hermes.  I love the jokes, I think they’re silly because, ultimately, that man is a dork.  A theatre kid (who makes pretty bangin music ngl).  All adult theatre kids deserve ridicule.  No exceptions.  Obviously I want him to do well because I want the show to be good and I trust Rick.  I love the silly jokes, but I feel a little bad bc we’re circling back to that time on tiktok when Hamilton had just been released on D+ and everyone was watching it and making fun of the guy even though he wasn’t doing anything except loving being on stage.

And, breaking news, it turns out that I may not get into that education class after all which kind of sucks.  I have to wait until the start of next semester to see if the section has seats available at which point anyone will be able to register.  Until then, I’m registered for a greek art class in its place.

Lastly, it’s surprisingly easy to slip into supporting eugenics and I blame this on the fact that geneticists find eugenics to be so abhorrent and such an uncomfortable part of the discipline’s history that it’s rarely actually discussed or taught.  And this is the same problem with minimizing slavery or the holocaust or the treatment of indigenous Americans.  Those who do not learn and critically consider history are doomed to repeat it.  Scientists have an ethical responsibility to go beyond providing data.  They must nip misinterpretations in the bud by addressing the context of their work.  We read an article (more like a saga of articles, it was the scientific equivalent of a fight over twitter) in popgen which got me completely wired by the way that it used eugenics rhetoric without addressing that issue explicitly, and that feels so much more irresponsible than saying your a eugenics advocate outright (my prof had to assure me that the author was not, in fact, a eugenics guy).  I just... science doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and we live in an age where information is readily available to any person at any time.  Scientists need to keep that in mind and consider the social ramifications of their work, especially if it relates to humans.  Neutral science does not exist!!  We’re all influenced by the context in which we are raised!!  Anyway, back to the original point, eugenics should be taught sensitively in science classes so that people understand a) how to detect the warning signs of a budding eugenics-based argument and b) why they’re wrong to begin with.  Only then can we civilly discuss issues like how to mitigate the problems of the (fairly theoretical to begin with) human genetic load or whatever.

Today I’m thankful for the walks promenades I took last night and tonight!!  It was decently warm and I just needed to blow off some steam (we’re a mere week into daylight savings and I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate how sunset starts at 2 pm I hate how I feel down more often now).  Plus CRC3E38 was released yesterday and I tore through that thing on my walks.  I’m thankful that there’s a big open area on campus where people often frequent so I feel safe walking at night.  I’m thankful that I, a patron of the arts, went to see an (free) a capella show tonight, a lovely and uniquely collegiate experience.  I’m thankful that my cello-friend liked my arrangement draft!!  Finally, I’m thankful that I know people who will straight up tell me who the red flags in my field of choice are because I was definitely unknowingly flying close to one.

[shoutaaizawas]

↳ aizawa shouta x reader → unimaginable 

summary: you decide to let shinsou go on a mission without you but when he gets hurt you blame yourself word count: 1,944 tags/warnings: aizawa family!au, light angst, family, fluff, idk  a/n: i don’t really know what this is but enjoy, i was watching hamilton and i thought of this.

Shinsou had been doing his work studies with you and you enjoyed being able to work along-side your adopted son. He had learned a lot from your husband Aizawa and was getting better and better every day.

You were very professional and did your best to remain unbiased but at the end of the day, you still cared for him as your son so it was hard to let him into situations that you considered too dangerous.

A mission had come up and Shinsou would be a perfect fit for it. You had intended to go with him until Aizawa pulled you aside.

“You should send him with one of your sidekicks, it’ll be good for him to work with others.” He said. You knew your husband well enough to know that that was his nice way of saying you’re smothering him. You couldn’t disagree with him but you worried too much. You liked knowing that if the situation was bad enough you could send Shinsou away to safety. You also knew that wasn’t going to help him become a stronger hero.

Reluctantly you let him go but you couldn’t shake the bad feeling.

“Okay, remember what Aizawa taught you.” You said readjusting the capture weapon that rested around his neck. “Be careful and follow their lead.”

“I know, I know.” Shinsou said with a hint of a smile. “I’ll be fine.”

“I know you will.” You smile at him, you brush his cheek with your thumb. “I’ll see you at home tonight, love you.”

“I love you too.” He said before leaving with the hero he’d be working with.

At your agency, you find yourself unable to focus on anything. You sit at your desk tapping your nails against the surface. It will be fine, you trust the heroes at your agency to take care of Shinsou. You know Shinsou is smart and strong. You wish that you didn’t worry so much.

Your door opens and your secretary walks in. The look on their face makes your stomach drop. Without a word you already know it’s bad news. You had seen it before.

“Not him.” You said before you could stop the words.

“Shinsou, he’s on his way to the hospital. The villain got out of hand, the structure started to crumble-”

Standing up you run out, you had heard enough. You just needed to see him, he had to be okay. You wouldn’t know what to do if-

Rushing to the hospital you called Aizawa. He picked up and you can barely get a word out you’re so frantic.

“What happened?” He asked you could hear the fear in his voice. He knows that not many things shake you.

“Shinsou, it’s Shinsou.” You finally gasped out. You were able to tell him which hospital it was and Aizawa is already on his way.

Rushing into the building you find the front desk, Aizawa is already there and you’re thankful you don’t have to try and ask for information. Aizawa turns and sees you, as you approach him he grabs your shoulders.

“He’s in surgery now, he’s unstable but they’re hopeful.” He told you in a calm voice.

You let out a breath, he’s alive but there’s still a chance he might not make it. Tears begin to stream down your face. You have always done your best to put on a persona in public, you were a highly ranked pro hero people didn’t need to see you shaken up but you can’t stop yourself.

Aizawa asks quietly if there’s somewhere private to wait and the receptionist gives him directions. Your husband guides you through the halls before entering a room and sitting down on a love seat with you.

“I told you I should have been with him.” You cried as Aizawa pulled you into a hug. He held you close, one hand at the back of your neck and the other in the middle of your back. He presses your head against his chest and rests his head against yours. “If I was there he would be okay.”

“I’m sorry.” He whispered against your ear. “He’s a strong kid, he’ll be okay.”

Time passes and you hold each other, tears streaming down both of your faces. Eventually, your breathing evens and you start to calm down. The thought of Shinsou on an operating table makes you sick but you feel more stable than before.

“Shouta, I’m sorry.” You say quietly, pulling back to look him in the eyes. “It’s not your fault. You were right that I need to give him more independence. This could have happened even with me there.”

Your agency had sent in the report of what had happened, his injuries were caused by falling debris. A part of you thinks you could have stopped it in time but you also know that anything could have happened.

“It’s okay.” He said taking your hand in his. “I’m not upset at you. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t regret telling you to let him go with someone else.”

You grip his hand in yours, pulling it to your lips to kiss the top of his hand. You stared into the dark eyes of the man you love, he looked just as worn out as you felt. The bags under his eyes and the redness worse than normal. You pulled him close, letting him rest on your shoulder.

“We’ll get through this.” You said. “Wait, Eri’s still at daycare!”

The realization that you had forgotten about your adopted daughter in all the chaos hit you, you tried to stand up but Aizawa keeps you from doing so.

“I already asked Yamada to watch her.” He reassured you.

“What would I do without you.” You sighed as you relaxed back into him.

More time passes before the doctors told you anything. Finally, you were told that he was out of surgery and in a room. The two of you didn’t hesitate to see him.

It broke your heart seeing him lying in the bed, bandages wrapped all over him. He had sustained quite a few injuries but the doctors said he would recover. You let out a breath of relief. Sitting down at his side you cradled his cheek, tears ran down your face.

You felt like a failure. When you took Shinsou in you promised to take care of him, keep him from harm, and here he was. You could feel Aizawa wrap his arms around your waist, as he tried to comfort you.

“He’ll be okay.” He said. You knew he would but it didn’t stop the overwhelming guilt. What kind of hero was you if you couldn’t protect your own son?

Every day at the beginning of visitor hours you went to sit at his bedside. After class Aizawa would join you for a while before you’d go home to spend time with Eri. Eri would ask about her big brother Shinsou but you would tell her that he was resting up so he could come home and be healthy. You knew the little girl had seen and heard worse but you never wanted to add onto that.

Finally, Shinsou woke up and when he did you were at his side, spilling apologies before he could even say anything. You held onto his hand as if you let go he would disappear.

“It’s not your fault, I should have been more careful. I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to worry so much.” He said.

“Shinsou, I’m always going to worry about you. It doesn’t matter how old you are.” You told him. He gave you a small smile but you didn’t miss the way his eyes teared up.

“I’m okay now.” He said. You squeezed his hand with a smile.

Eri was more than ecstatic to have her big brother home but you told her before he came home to be careful with him because he was still healing. You smiled as she carefully hugged him acting as if the smallest movement would hurt him.

Aizawa and you laid in bed together, your head resting on his chest as you played with his hair. It felt good knowing that Shinsou was home and in his own bed.

Growing up you understood the danger of hero work. You knew that in a moment you could be dead, one wrong move that was it. You were okay with that, when you were young you hadn’t expected to live long. Then you met Aizawa and then the stakes felt bigger. If you died you would leave him behind. If he died he would leave you behind. It was hard to cope with that possibility.

You had thought that was the hardest thing then you adopted Eri and you realized that a villain could try to use her to hurt you or Aizawa. You constantly worried that Overhaul or his associates would try to come after her.

Then Shinsou came into your lives. He wanted to be a hero and of course, neither of you would stop him.

It was so much harder to fear for your child than to fear for yourself. It was so much easier to protect them than to watch them get hurt. But you had to learn. Shinsou wanted to be like you and Aizawa and it would be hypocritical to stop him from pursuing his dreams.

The most you could do was to teach him everything you could so he would be prepared to be the best hero he could be. You supposed that was a part of being a parent, learning to let your children make their own mistakes and learn. You just didn’t have much time to prepare for that considering you took Shinsou in at the age he was.

“Will it ever get any easier?” You ask your husband. He was a teacher and had been for a while. He was more prepared for this than you were.

“Hmm?” He questioned.

“Watching Shinsou get hurt. Watching him grow up and learn the hard way?” You said. Aizawa sighed, his hand moving to your back.

“Yes and no.” He answered. “It will always hurt to watch them get hurt but every time they come out of it you’ll know they’ll be more prepared for being a hero. Think about all of the times you got hurt when you were young.”

You remembered the fire in you. It didn’t matter if it was a sprain or if you had almost died you always came out of it with a fire in you to do better, to be stronger, to become a hero that couldn’t be felled. That could protect anyone.

“It’s so hard to watch someone else go through it.” You sighed.

“I know.” He said. “But we’ll always be here for him. He’ll have support through it all. Just think how much harder it would have been for him with his situation before this.”

Aizawa was right. He always was. Shinsou’s parents had been neglectful at best. It would always be hard being a hero but Shinsou would always have a loving family there for him and you could pride yourself on that.

“You always know what to say.” You smiled looking up at him. “Thank you.”

Aizawa smiled down at you, brushing his hand gently across your cheek. He leaned down pressing a kiss against your forehead. You knew that you could do this. You knew that you and Aizawa could provide Shinsou the sanctuary he needed to become a great hero. The sanctuary that Aizawa lacked when he was young. And no matter what happened you could have peace in that.

[captain-aralias]

Life stuff

this feels kind of weird, because i’ve never used my tumblr like this, but i would have written something on my livejournal, and i want people to know - i just dont want to have to tell people about it, or really talk about it at all. 

but i also wanted to write this, idk. 

(TW: impending death of a parent)

my mum has cancer. 

it’s a rare form of cancer, called peritoneal cancer, which is similar to but different from ovarian cancer - i think it mostly gets diagnosed (like my mum’s) when it’s too late to do anything about it. all the treatment has been palliative only i.e. letting her live as long and as comfortably as possible.

she was diagnosed in september last year - about a year ago, a few months after running the ‘virtual’ london marathon on the isle of wight, where she lives, and obviously deep in lockdown. 

as someone undergoing chemo, she was deemed extremely vulnerable to covid, and so she spent most of the early pandemic isolating. she also said she didn’t see any point in my brother and i visitng her, particularly given the risks, because we could talk via facetime - which is fair enough - all of which meant my brother and i didn’t go to visit her until May this year, after she’d done the first lot of chemo and was already doing much better again. 

a few months after that, we found out that while she’d responded really well to the chemo, her cancer wasn’t responding at all to the maintenance drugs that were suposed to stop it coming back, so she came off the drugs completely. medical advice was basically chemo is as effective whenever you do it, so you might as well enjoy your life for a while, we’ll monitor it every month, and when things start to get too bad, we’ll put you back in chemo. 

it’s friday tomorrow - so two fridays ago, i saw my mum in london after she’d just seen hamilton with her partner, graham. both of them loved hamilton. her hair had grown back, she seemed pretty normal. about a week later, she was in A&E - and she’s been in the hospital all week. she’s got a total bowel obstruction, which means she can’t eat and hasn’t eaten since last week.

now in a weird situation where there are a few tricky, difficult options (including being moved off the island back onto the mainland to a bigger hospital) that will mean that she stays alive long enough to get the chemo, which will probably get her back to hamilton-watching strength, or ... she could die really soon. like, in a few days. 

we can’t visit. her partner can’t visit because covid - there’s this really sad-making photo of him looking happy on the phone through a window to my mum, also on the phone, inside the hospital. 

i feel...

???? :( :( :( ....

i guess this is the main point of the post. i’m not writing this crying, i’m writing it pretty neutrally - because my brain isn’t really processing it right now, and mostly doesn’t process it. 

i did cry earlier today while on the phone to various people, and then i went back to work. i hate crying, i hate being sad, and i dont like people comforting me, because it makes me realise that i have something to be sad about. 

i’ve known she had cancer for a year. i haven’t been able to hang out with her most of that time. i would say, we are fairly close, although not nearly as close as some families. we don’t talk every week, but we talk regularly, and have seen each other regularly. 

i’m so incredibly privileged that nothing that bad has ever happened to me, even though i’m 35. i’ve never been to a funeral, which seemed like a major life win and now i think was a mistake, i should have gone to funerals for people i card about less to help get used to it. 

the literal only comparison i have to how i feel is when my cat Anton died suddenly  about 3 years ago - i handled it with a mix of not thinking about it, being intensely sad for as brief a period as i could, and probably by thinking about how sad my girlfriend was about it, and sort of sidestepping my own feelings in comparison. 

i remember when my last remaining grandparent died - and i was about 14 or something - i wasn’t sad for myself, i was only sad for her my dad being sad. for ages, i worried that i was not going to be sad enough about this - and i still sort of am. 

but i also passionately hate the idea of being sad and i know i’ll look to avoid it as much as possible, and try and get on with my life. 

i know my mum dying isn’t about me - when people write after death it’s about the person who died, obviously. that makes sense. but this post isn’t about my mum, who is a very cool person, much cooler than me - it’s about me. because i am self-obsessed and this is going to wreck my life for a while.

it’s weird, because i can see it on the horizon but it’s not happening yet. and i dont know whether that’s good or bad - i feel like it’s good, in a way. someone ages ago told me that the grieving period starts when you get the news. that seems very true to me - but also, i know that it’s going to ramp up, and so i’m like in the expectation of true grief right now. 

it’s sort of like she died, but also is still going to die, but also i can magically still talk to her. which is really nice, in a way, it’s like a second chance, because i know i didn’t reach out enough before she had cancer. and i’m aware enough of my own actions that i know this is what’s been going on in my head the past year - i should reach out more, because she has cancer, but i dont want to make it seem like i’m reaching out because she has cancer, even though she knows i know she has cancer....... and also, i’m busy writing this fic. /o\

the fact that she seemed to recover (even though my mum insisted on saying ‘i am not recovered, i’m going to die soon’ like several time as a day as a disclaimer) also totally messed with my head, because i knew logically - ok, it’s happening. but also, things seemed so normal when we speak. even when i called her today, and she hasn’t eaten for a week, it seemed normal. 

btw - i realised this week i had no idea how cancer killed people. my mum is a scientist and has looked up all kinds of things about what’s killing her; i’m clearly a simon snow and didn’t want to think about things i can’t help. if you’d asked me, i’d have said like... it poisons you or something, or blocks bloodflow to your brain. not what i think will actually do it which is.... starvation. or being too weak to survive being pumped full of the poison that is intended to kill the cancer. (that one i guess i could have predicted.) man - cancer sucks. i mean, we all knew it. 

(i failed to get into cambridge university at interview stage, many years ago. the man who interviewed me gave me some extremely memorable feedback, which is that i needed to dial back the ‘defensive irony’ - which i thnk in that context meant i put myself down and tried to make a joke of everything. i remember when i got the phonecall to say Anton, my cat, was dead, i literally did not know what to do with my voice - because my instinct was to try and make the vet feel better, and also to present myself as bright and capable, and yet this unexpected and devasting news had just come through. rainbow wrote something sort of similar because she’s a good writer, for shepard as he tells penny about his curse. i feel like that.) 

what else did i want to say? 

i thought i had more time. ‘hamilton’ will probably always be tied to this moment in my mind, because of how much i’ve spoken to my mum about it in the past few weeks (i sent her the remix - she liked it, she listened to it in hospital while trying to drink more than 100ml of fluids) but yeah - this is basically a line from hamilton here. whatever. don’t make me feel my own feelings, let me just quote things. i dont like my own feelings. (no, i dont want to go to therapy - they’d make me talk about my feelings all the time, i’m british for god’s sake.) 

i’m 35 - my mum is 68. i didn’t think she’d die this early or that i’d have to deal with this yet. but then i also don’t think bad things are ever going to happen to me - because mostly they haven’t, see above. i wear a mask and am double vaccinated because i’m not an asshole, but i dont really believe i’ll get covid because bad things don’t happen to me. i didn’t think my mum would die - maybe ever, but definitely not yet. she’s been retired a decade after teaching (science) and has enjoyed it. 

i thought i had time to not have kids yet - which is the other thing (like hamilton) that this moment is really tied up with for me. i feel like 35 is getting quite old, but also not that old to still not have kids, but intend to maybe have them. my feelings about kids were basically like - up until like 25, i thought, yes, definitely. i mean, before i had a realtiosnhip (22-ish), i just assumed i would probably have a het marriage and have kids etc, like people do, but after that we were still talking, yes, children at some point. 

didn’t prioritise it for a few reasons - none of my close friends had children until quite recently, so it just didn’t seem like an urgent thing in the way that it probably does for people with different friendship groups. waiting to be settled enough in a job to be able to take maternity leave without it feeling like a rip off for my employer. waiting for a good time in erin’s PhD writing cycle. and then pandemic. and then a few years ago, maybe as i turned 30, i thought - maybe we won’ have kids, because we still haven’t - and i vocalised that to erin. 

also, i know a lot of people are gay and have children, so it’s not like it’s a thing that is impossible at all, but it’s much much harder if you have to leave your home and your relationship in order to get a child. it has to be a very very conscious decisions. i have friend who are men who have good genes, but we’re not so close i want to ask them for their sperm/to be involved however remotely in making a child - and (i was surprised to discover) (what a lot of things i dont know anything about) you an’t really just buy sperm, it’s not truly legal except through a clinic. and it’s extremely expensive to get inseminated in a clinic, and the NHS don’t really do that, so you do have to pay it. i thought kids would be expensive after they were born, but not before. and i REALLY wanted a house, much much more than - i think even today - i’ve ever wanted a child. i REALLY wanted a house - and now we have a house, and it’s pretty good. but - that’s where the money went, until the pandemic - thanks pandemic - so now we do have some disposable cash at last, because i didn’t commute. 

but now erin is worried about climate change - and wheher it’s right to bring more children into the world, and other things. and.... i think i do want to be pregnant, it’s what i’m planning for - don’t leave this job (which admittedly i also really like, and pays me well - i dont thin i need to leave) because next stop maternity leave, but..... 

i don’t know whether i am thinking, time ot have kids because my best friend just had a baby (the baby’s name is horatio - for real, i actually love this name) (i also haven’t seen her or the baby except over skype, because anna - my friend - is, like my mother, also scared of pandemic) and my brain is like - ok, well, if anna is doing it, i guess the time is here 

AND - i know there’s a large part of me that was like, gotta be pregnant and ideally have the baby before my mum dies so she gets to see that she had a grandchild. my brother and i are both queer, btw, in case you were wondering - he’s considering whether he wants to transition right now (but is still happy with he/him pronouns) and - you may find this astonishing, but i genuinely don’t know whether he’d consider himself ace, or has been in relationships. he’s very private, he has OCD and is in therapy - but anyway, he’s probably not having kids anytime soon (i think!) and graham - my mum’s boyfriend/partner of 10+ years. -has grandchildren, but my extremely middleclass white (but definitely not conservative voters, always 100% not-tory) parents ended up with me and my brother.... and i don’t know, as i say, i don’t know whether my brain is saying ‘have kids before it’s too late’ - although i know by now that it will be too late. even if my mum recovers from this, this time, i don’t think i can produce a child before she dies - and she isn’t asking me too, she’s not like that, but i would have liked her to be there. i thought she would be. 

so - i’m thinking about that. also, about getting a dog. i really want a dog - although i don’t want to upset the three cats (one we’ve had for eight years or so, the other two we got after Anton died). it’s ALSO really hard and expensive to get a dog. you’d think with all these ‘a dog isn’t just for the pandemic, a dog is for life’ type adverts around, that it would be easy to adcidentally get a dog - i’ve looked! you ccan’t get a dog unless you have no cats and you’re super experienced and can take a dog with lots of trauma or medical problems, or you’re willing to pay thousands of pounds. like - even for a regular not even pedigree dog - at least a thousand. pedigree dog - several thousand. i dont want a puppy either - i want a dog. 

and - this is embarrassing to admit, but i’ve alrady told erin - i genuinely had a phase of being super annoyed when i’d read fics where someone just ‘got a dog’. it’s not that simple!!! it’s fiction, it doesn’t matter - chill out. the baby thing too - although weirdly not fics where magic meant it was possible to get a baby, weirdly it was smut. i had a brief week or so of crazy (and i don’t think i am that crazy) where i’d read about fictional semen and just be like - wtf, it’s so hard to get hold of that shit. (it’s not real, this isn’t real semen being wasted, calm down - and i dont even really know if i want kids, i might just think i do.) 

the other thing about the bad thing being soon but not yet (but also being all the time, but not if you dnt think about it) is that i’m thinking - should i prioritise writing my remix now, in case my mum dies and i’m too sad to do it, and then i didn’t do my remix? i was definitely thinking this while writing classroom politics (i hope my mum doesn’t die becaue i dont want to be too sad to miss the deadline) and in the run up to AWTWB .....

today i wrote a list of things for work that would need to be picked up if i have to unexpectedly stop working, either because i’m too sad, or because i have to do funeral stuff, or .... i guess legal stuff about settling the estate. (i guess this happens to a lot of people, too, but it’s also a bit of a mindfuck that my brother and i will inherit her house and a bunch of cash when she dies - i’m pretty well off, my brotehr does virtual reality theatre stuff so really isn’t - we’ve talked about how much easier both of our lives will be with a huge injection of cash, and how we dont know what to feel about that) (great news, dogs and kids are really expensive! time to find out whether i really wanted to spend my money on those.) told people i like at work that it’s coming, and that i dont want to talk about it. and mostly just... carrying on with life, really. until it happens. 

it’s so weird how easy it is to carry on most of the time.i know my mum’s partner is not doing nearly so well - he has to cope with an empty house and he’s retired. i’ve had periods - including right now - where i wake up every morning and check my phone to see whehter someone called me or texted me to tell me it’s over. but most of the day i’m actually really fine. i even had an ok day today. and i don’t know whether i want that to be the case, or whether i shouldn’t let myself do that. i dont know what i should prepare for in terms of where i’ll be - will i want lots of stuff to distract me (this is my guess) and work is very good for that, or i will want to clear time and space because i can’t operate and dont want people to offer me comfort. (FYI - this post isn’t written to make people say anything to me, i definitely dont want to talk about it, so please don’t feel you either have to comment or check in on me - i don’t really want you to. it’s enough to have written it, in my own time, in my own space.)

i think i wanted to write this post in a way because i thought i probably wouldnt want to write it after my mum died - because i probably wouldn’t want to say anything about it at all, for a few years. 

my mum keeps telling me about the show ‘jane the virgin’ - which she’s half way through. shhe asked me to give it a try, so i did (she often tells me about shows on radio 4, which i rarely listen to. i thouht i had more time.) i’ve watched an episode (because she has cancer, i should listen to her recommendations)(but i dont want her to know that’s why i did it) and i do quite like - it’s light and frothy and well cut together (although about kids and artificial insemination, of course). i guess in a worse case scenario where i’m too sad to work or write, i will probably watch a lot of this show - which is incredibly not sad - and feel sad about how my mum never finished it. 

BUT ALSO SHE MIGHT BE OK. for a while. 

i dont know how i feel, blargh. anyway. this was a long post. i think i wrote it mostly for me. feelings are weird. covid really sucks and so does cancer. 

going to order some chicken and watch inuyasha.

[savoryscribbles]

omg my first request hehe i’d love it if you could write about bakugou x fem reader (maybe on the chubbier side?) whos kinda shy but has a humiliation kink!! they’re out on a date and bakugou fingers her under a table, telling her not to be too loud, or people will stare 😳 and after she cums a couple times he makes her lick off his fingers or there will be punishment involved later- also choking? if you can fit it in there somewhere? im so sorry if this is messy, i tried </3

Main masterlist

Bnha masterlist

Of course I can!! And thank you @kryptiklion for the request!! Honestly I’m a fan of your idea, and I already have some ideas flowing. Hmmm... okay, you can’t tell but it’s a hour and one binged Bakugo smau later. I’d have to say this request could be like a whole ass oneshot, luckily Imma do just that! Cause I just love your idea and it’s right up my alley. I hope my answers are to you satisfaction(hehe, I made a Hamilton reference)! Ahhh I feel like this took a lot longer than expected, I mean this is quite the detailed request so... but I honestly didn’t have any inspiration for this for like a week. I also just got a new phone weeee!!!

Paring: Aged up!Bakugo x fem!chubby(ish!shy! reader)

Warnings: fluffy(especially the beginning, I’m a sucker for tsunderes acting begrudgingly nice🤤😖), public fingering, humiliation kink, breath-play, degradation(honestly I’m sorry I went a little ham on this one, lmao, Idk why tho- I don’t even have a degradation kink, in fact I have the exact opposite, a praise kink), quark-play?(I mean like he uses his quark for like spanking but that’s it)

⊱ ❀ ✿ ꕥ ✿ ❀ ⊰

You stared at your boyfriend as he got dressed, he was always so handsome, and tonight was no exception.

You sat there ogling your boyfriend, to lost in thought to notice that he had long ago noticed your staring. And had turned to face you.

“What are you doing weirdo?” He asked bring you back to reality.

“Admiring my boyfriend.” You said in response, causing him to roll his eyes.

“Tch, whatever we need to go or we’ll be late.” Katsuki told you, waiting for you to stand up.

“Okay, I just need to pul on my heels first.” You said as you started to get up.

“Tch dumbass, why didn’t you put them on instead of ogling me? I’ll get them for you, you’ll take to long.” He grumbled walking towards your vanity where your heels were, then grabbing them and walking back towards you.

“Thank yo-“ you started.

“Left foot.” He said, interrupting you. Before kneeling to the ground. You felt your face heat up a little as he slipped your heel onto your foot with gentalness that you would never expect from Katsuki.

“You really don’t need to-“ you tried to say but were once more cut off.

“Right foot, and yes I do dumbass, how else are we not going to be late?” He said as he rolled his eyes before he grabbed your right foot to slip on the heel with the same gentleness. He then hulled you up with his normal Bakugo aggressiveness.

‘So much for a gentle moment’ you thought following him out the door and into the car.

The restaurant was quite fancy, definitely a 5 star one. And like normal 5 star restaurants, it was naturally quiet. So when Bakugo decided it would be a good idea to finger you, you were obviously noisy.

“Shut up slut, you don’t want the whole restaurant to hear you do you?” He asking. And you shook your head no in response.

“Hmm you would like that wouldn’t you? You’re such a dirty little whore you know that?” He teased, all while still shoving his fingers in and out of you.

As you tried to keep your moans under control the waiter can to the table. Asking if the service was alright. Bakugo looked over to you expectingly, waiting for you to answer.

“Um y-yES. Where fine, tha-thank you fOR ASking.” You stuttered out, all while Katsukis hand was still thrusting in and out of your core, causing you so moan part of your sentence.

“Haha, such a dirty little girl, can’t even say a full sentence without moaning, and it’s only my finger! Ha.” He degradingly laughed once the waiter had walked away.

“Kat-Katsuki... I’m gonna gonna cum soon.” You muttered to him, trying to keep your is voice down.

“Cum as many times as you can, but I’m expecting you to keep track.” He said seriously before losing his mouth closer to your ear.

“Or there will be a punishment.” He whispered, causing a shiver down to your spine.

Needless to say, you were to focused on eating and the pleasure that you totally forgot that you were supposed to keep track of your orgasms.

Which is why when you got home, you struggled to come up with an answer.

“I.. um- 3?” You answered, making it sound more like a question.

“You weren’t keeping track were you?” He asked, stepping closer and closer to you before eventually backing you up against a wall.

“Not only did you not keep track, you also tried to lie to me. You ungrateful slut, you can’t even follow simple instructions.” He said wrapping his hands around your throat.

“Do you know what brats like you who don't listen get? Punishment.” He whispered into your ear before picking you up and taking you to your shared bedroom.

“Stay here, I expect you to be naked when I get back.” He said after plopping you on the bed. You did as you’re told as he walked to the closet to get what you presumed was some sort of spanking device.

You looked towards him as he walked back into the room and see he has a flogger in hand.

“Now you’re going to have two punishments brat. One for disobeying my orders, and on for lying.” He stated once he was next to the bed.

“You’re going to lye down and stay still, or I won’t hesitate to tye you down.” He muttered in your ear after bending down to my level. “You got that slut?” You nodded at his question, but quickly realized your mistake.

“Yes sir.” You responded before moving your head down to rest on a pillow.

“Good girl. I want you to count for me as well. The first round is with the flogger, which is for lying to me, I’ll stop at twenty.” Bakugou stayed before bringing the flogger down harshly on your ass.

“One sir.” You moaned, already feeling a wet spot form in your panties.

This continued on until Katsuki had reached 20. He lowered his hand to your core finding already covered in your juices.

“Your getting more wet from this aren’t you, you little whore?” He said as his hand dragged between your dripping folds. “I’m just getting started.”

“I want you to count these as well. And if you don’t, I will start over.” He stated before he slapped you ass with what seemed to be his bare hand. Only it was a lot more powerful than normal. You deducted that he must be using his quirk.

“O-one sir.” You stuttered put quickly right as he slapped you ass again only on the other cheek.

“Tw-two... sir.”

He kept up his quirk infused spanks until he reached five on each side, ten in total. You were completely woren out by then, from the multiple orgasms ealier that night and the punishment you just received.

Katsuki noticed this and felt mildly bad, he knew you enjoyed it, yet you looked to be in pain, even though he’d never admit it, he did not want you in pain. He grabbed some lotion from the nightstand, he had set it there ealier knowing you’d need it after this season, and put some on his hands. Before rubbing it in with the same gentleness he showed ealier that night, or if possible, even gentler.

“Are you okay baka?” He asked, willing to get or provide whatever you needed.

“Mmm, I’m fine for now, I just want to cuddle you though.” You responded, tired from the events of tonight.

He acted as though he didn’t want to do it, but both of you knew that he did in fact enjoy cuddling you.

And you two fell asleep snuggled against each other.

[eurydicees]

thoughts on the musicals y’all recommended!

tysm for all the recs! i had so much fun listening to them, i really appreciate it! always feel free to rec more :)  

to preface, there’s no actual judging system. it’s all about the vibes. so, in the order that i listened to them: 

the mad ones

i already made a post abt this one, but i have to mention it again. i’ve been listening to it on repeat. like. straight up on a loop. 

i’m obsessed with this

the storyline is so put together, and you can really feel the heart of the show

the characters were well written (with the exception of the boyfriend tbh, i could have done without him), and i’m so fascinated by sam and kelly’s relationship (writers were cowards for making them not gay) 

the songs felt super cohesive, and the repeated drum loop was super well integrated. the sound techie in me is fascinated by the way this show was put together, and i’d love to see it performed (like. fr. i was getting ideas for the design. which is always so much fun) 

19.75/10

romeo es julia

holy shit this slaps

costumes were weird

but the music was brilliant

some of the captioned lyrics were ???? bad translation or bad lyrics??? but the sound was incredible so i don’t even care 

mercutio and tybalt were spot on

the moms were GREAT. i LOVED their voices, like. could FEEL the emotions, even if i didn’t know wtf they were saying 

pretty much everyone was like that, like idk what’s going on via words, but i def can feel it, which is the best kind of song

my mother didn’t like this one but whatever, she didn’t get to see the choreo that went with it so what does she know 

the SET. the LIGHTS. the SOUND. the SET. the LIGHTS. the SOUND. chef’s kiss. 

14/10 

ordinary days

eh

i liked “favorite places” and “beautiful” a lot, but the rest of the songs were only okay

i wasn’t super attached to the characters and the singing was just. like. okay for me. i didn’t love any of them in particular 

my mother also didn’t like this one, rip. she has a lot of opinions on musicals. 

6/10

venice

oh my fucking god???????? 

not what i expected at all. right from the first lines i was like. 😲😲😲 

like. this was so good??? wtf???? hamilton meets shakespeare meets the mechanisms meets les mis meets post-9/11 politics meets dystopia. i thought it couldn’t be done, but here i am, in awe

i was going to include some favorite lines but. it’s just all of them. ALL of them. 

further confirmation that i’m in love with jennifer damiano. 

also angela polk?? incredible 

it’s weird bc it’s so clearly Not Broadway Music, but it’s also not trying to be, which i enjoy. i can see why some critics hated it (read some really funny reviews lmao), but i really loved the sound (haven’t seen the show, though, and that’s half of a musical, so maybe gonna try and find a bootleg) 

18.99/10

count of monte cristo 

damn from the overture this was. Intense. like. damn. i’m a slut for any dies irae sequence, so i was a big fan of that

that being said. gonna be real. i had no idea what was happening throughout the entire musical. it’s a pretty music-light show, so that’s probably why? 

maybe it would make more sense if i watched a performance rather than just listening to the soundtrack??? idk. anyone got a bootleg? 

thomas borchert has a nice voice. very distinctive. googled him to see where else i can listen to him. he was rum tum tugger. anyways. mad respect for this man

sonically, it didn’t feel like a very cohesive show? like it felt like there were a lot of diff vibes going around

lots of good songs for my evil musicals playlist though 

11/10 

once on this island (2017 revival)

ok turns out musicals are a lot better when sung by professionals than by sixth graders who think they can belt even tho their voices are still cracking 

also turns out that stories can be much more complex and interesting-- and have much deeper themes of racism and classism-- when on broadway than when in a sweaty middle school auditorium in an upper middle class white neighborhood 

funny how that works, huh 

i’m still a little unsure abt it, and probably wouldn’t listen to it just because i can, but i definitely don’t object to it anymore 

ty for making me give it a second try 

hailey kilgore is brilliant in this

the singing in general is REALLY impressive and beautiful 

12.68/10 

death note

i cannot express enough in words how mad i am that i actually liked this

genuinely don’t know how to feel 

i do think that i would get more out of it if i watched the anime, but it was still pretty easy to follow, just knowing the premise 

idk who the cast is bc i found a weird shady playlist on spotify rather than a cast recording, but the girl’s voice (idk character names) was beautiful. “i’ll only love you more” was SO good

reminded me a little of jekyll and hyde? which? huh

also i’m now getting tik tok videos with audio from this musical can my iphone stop stalking me for ONE second

fucking unfair that this is actually a good soundtrack. the desire to find a bootleg is unholy. 

14.87/10 

35mm

why did no one tell me that alex brightman is in this!!!!

i listened to a few songs and really enjoyed them, but didn't get through the whole album lmao

but i did really enjoy what i did listen to, and i'm gonna come back to it

9/10

ghost quartet

i wanted to like this one. SO badly. i REALLY wanted to like it.

but i couldn't really get into it? 

there were a few songs that absolutely slapped, but overall, it was just kinda. eh. which sucks bc i have heard such good things about it

i LOVED "the astronomer," "the telescope," and "lights out" 

but i didn't get through the entire album

i'll come back to it eventually and give it another try, i think. i might just not have been in the specific mood for it

9.8/10

[cosmiciaria]

Assasin’s Creed III Remaster review - Spoilers! - Long post!

I wanted to keep this spoiler free, but as this game is such a narrative experience, I don't think I'll be able to. I'll try to keep them at minimum, but be warned: there are major spoilers ahead. By the way, this game is almost a decade old, so y'all had plenty of time to get spoiled beforehand. And if you're reading this, it's because you like this game and you probably know how it ends.

Review under the cut because this is way too long. 

As always, I express my feelings and impressions regarding my experience with a game – I write it because I like writing reviews instead of, I don't know, recording a video for YouTube. I'm not a YouTuber and I feel safer behind a keyboard where people don't point out about my weird accent (the accent every Hispanic person has when they speak English). Since the pandemic started, I found refuge and comfort in AC games, with Syndicate being my first contact with the franchise, and Unity solidifying my love for it. I found strength and weaknesses in all the installments I've played, which are almost all of them by now (excluding the first AC with Altaïr, the new saga with Origins, Odyssey and Valhalla, and Rogue). I've also platinumed three of those games I've played, and I'm on my way to platinum this one, so I think I can speak from a deep fan standpoint by now.

Since Syndicate, I studied from up close each of the protagonists of the mainline games. I felt drawn to Arno because he looked like one of my oc's (and his girlfriend looked like my oc's girlfriend as well); I wanted to learn about Ezio because he's a fan favorite; I wasn't at all impressed by Edward but ended up growing fond of him; I respect Altaïr for what he means to the Brotherhood; but I can safely say, that I haven't felt as attracted to a main AC protagonist as I felt with Connor.

From the moment I knew he was a native American (such a bold choice, it seemed for me) I felt instant attraction – but not the, idk, physical (he's a cutie I give it to you), but because of what he could bring about as a main character. A perspective we don't usually get to see, and personally, as I'm not American, a point of view to educate me on a different side of history. I wanted to see what they could do with him as the star of the game, I wanted to play with him and understand how someone like him could rise up and become a protagonist of such a well known and beloved saga of games. I applaud this decision from Ubisoft, whether they did it because they wanted to look progressive or not, I don't care, I'll always cherish that the protagonist of a famous videogame is a Mohawk. And with the American Revolution as the main stage, no less. Such an important scenario to strengthen the virtue of independence, patriotism and love for a country, going hand in hand with a character that represents America even more than the Founding Fathers.

(Also I'm a Hamilton Fan Trademark so I couldn't stop singing random parts of songs while playing this game, it was a nightmare every time Lafayette appeared on screen because I JUST HAD TO start mumbling Guns and Ships)

I lunged blindly into this game – I'd only spoiled myself the very ending because I played Black Flag before – so imagine my surprise when I first saw Haytham, Connor's father, as the main protagonist.

So here's the deal. Let's clear this out of the way.

I thoroughly enjoyed the game. It was what I expected and more.

But.

Yes, there's always a but in AC games, you know the drill.

As I kept playing with Haytham, charming though he was, I kept thinking to myself "ok but when does Connor come into play". I also already knew Haytham was a Templar, so the end of the first few sequences didn't catch me by surprise – actually, what caught me by surprise was that there was no mention of Assassins or Templars during the "prologue" with Haytham, instead you're left to believe they're all Assassins until he prays to the Father of Understanding and you realize with a gasp "oH NoO!".

You play with Haytham the first three sequences. One of these have the most memories out all of the sequences more or less. This whole thing can take up to three to five hours depending on how much time you wish to put into exploring or completing the optional objectives. And still no signs of Connor.

Connor does come eventually – as a child – by sequence 4. It's not until the end of sequence 5 that you get to play as (almost) adult Assassin Connor, so maybe five or six or even seven hours into the game and you're barely starting.

I know what they did here. I understand. And this is what I meant when I said they were going for a 'narrative experience'. To make you play as Haytham before, to lure you into a false sense of safety believing he was an Assassin working for a just cause, to make you feel invested in his relationship with Ziio – only to discover he's one of the bad guys, that will eventually give birth to our true hero of the game – it sediments everything perfectly. It tells you everything you need to know to understand these characters and their motivations. I can see where they're going and some of it can be quite predictable, but it was done right. On the narrative aspect at least.

I got used to Haytham by the time we switch to Connor, we're used to his cloak and his three pointed hat – his accent, his sassiness, his everything. You grow fond of him and you think, hey, maybe it isn't so bad to not play as Connor, I can roll with this – until the sudden change happens. The game completed its purpose: let you know and care for Haytham, only to strip him away from your hands and bring you the real protagonist with an interesting background that didn't need to be told, but it was instead shown to us players. What a better way to tell a story.

But the problem is – most of Haytham's memories are fillers. For starters, the very first memory where you appear in the opera house (similar to that one at the end of Black Flag… mmm) serves as a tutorial for climbing and killing with the hidden blade. Then the whole memory on the ship to Boston – completely expendable and removable, the story doesn't suffer from it. All the memories used with Haytham as tutorials – how to shield from an open line of fire, how to use ranged weapons, how to sneak and find stores and viewpoints, how to use horses and walk on snow, fricking Ben Franklin – everything, everything could've blended in better. You could still tell the story you wanted in only one sequence playing with Haytham, and end it the way it does end in sequence 3, without avoiding any important detail to frame Connor's backstory as well – but instead, this part with Haytham does feel like it overstays its welcome, and by the end you're just hoping it ends soon, it drags on for too long, and there's no real sense of thread pulling the strings together here, everything just kind of 'happens'.

But the never-ending prologue doesn't end there (badam tum tsss), because Connor still isn't an Assassin. Connor is not Connor actually, as I had been led to believe prior to playing this game: his real name is Ratonhnhaké:ton, which I wish it was used more often than it was. Ratonhnhaké:ton is like four or five years old when you first play with him, and his village is assaulted by what we assume are Charles Lee's men, a Templar and companion to Haytham. Ratonhnhaké:ton swears revenge upon these putrid British invaders and he grows up resenting the death of his mother, who died in the fire provoked by these Templars.

Not even knowing what a Templar or an Assassin is, Ratonhnhaké:ton is sent by one of "the spirit guides" (actually, Juno, one of the Precursor people) to seek the Brotherhood. When he's around 14, he sets out of his village into the wide world and finds Achilles, who will become his Assassin mentor – that is, after completing a set of tasks that yet again seem to go on forever. Ratonhnhaké:ton turns into Connor to cover his true origins, a name I thought it was random, but by the end I realized how wrong I was.

It isn't until Connor turns 17 that he becomes a fully-fledged Assassin – and you might think, well, Ezio became an Assassin at the same age – yes, but it didn't take him five sequences to reach there. I can't believe I'm defending Ezio.

It's not that I didn't enjoy playing as Connor when he was a kid, no, and I also don't think that part of the game should be skipped since it shows his people, family and friends – maybe comprised, yes, into only one sequence – the real problem here is the fact that first you need to play what could be considered the longest prologue ever, even longer than Kingdom Hearts 2's one, and you're teased with grasping the real protagonist but no, because there's still more 'prologue' to cover with Connor's rise to the Brotherhood. The real, real story, begins in sequence 6, and even then you still have a lot of tutorials to listen from the NPC on duty.

And if you do the maths – you're halfway through the game – halfway! – and you're just starting. The game has twelve sequences and the meat of the plot is on the last six. Then, why did I play all the previous parts?

For the 'narrative experience' thing I talked about. They wanted to lay the groundwork for a better, compelling storytelling, and I can appreciate it, but not when it hinders the pace of the game this way.

That is, certainly, my biggest issue with the game. The pace. If you're going to give me such a slow start, introducing characters non-stop, and only give me resolutions, discoveries and action packed sequences on the later half, then the story isn't balanced at all – I understand that at some points you need to slow down and sink in what's going on; you can't also introduce ten characters in one cutscene because that's just bad story telling – but the memories of this game are clearly not well organized and weren't thought with the player in mind, but rather with the story in mind. To think that the first mission you do as a full Assassin is to receive more and more tutorials on how the fast travel points work and how you can lower your notoriety (as far as gameplay goes in this mission, it's only walking around at a slug's pace to follow the NPC giving you instructions) it does feel like a slap in the face after all the things and hours and effort you put into it to finally reaching this point (which, I remind you, it's by sequence six!).

It's at this point where I can't blame people for not following through with this game. I have plenty of friends who abandoned it even before reaching this part. And I found myself having trouble to return to it: I only wanted to go back to it because I knew I had to like Connor, I knew he wouldn't disappoint me as a character.

Boy, was I RIGHT!

Now, to be honest, I may be biased, like I said: I was instantly attracted to Connor due to his backstory and I wished to see what he could bring to the table. And I have to say, he didn't disappoint me at all.

Maybe you know or maybe you don't, but up until this point, my fave Assassin was Arno: he showed weaknesses and he suffered the consequences of his actions, to the point of no return, that rendered him vulnerable and a mere human being. And I love me a good vulnerable character who knows their limits and strives to get out of that pit. I love me a good, compelling character that has growth and agency and isn't made of cardboard or has a one-dimensional personality. And Connor delivered on this front.

Connor might very well be my new fave Assassin. I'm sorry, Arno. I still love you babe. But Connor… I never found myself rooting for a character more than I did with him. I wanted him to succeed, I wanted his people to be saved, I wanted to see his ideals become a reality – and he's got so much agency, he's a storm when he comes into a scene, his naivety mixed with the brutality of his killings, the simplicity of his reasonings – he's an idealist, and he fights for it, whether we like it or not, and that devotion to his own creed is at least respectable, let alone admirable. He's never downplayed for his upbringing or his ethnicity, he works among the most notorious people as if he was another one of them, he's well respected in his community, he shows kindness and always offers a helping hand to those in need, but never doubts to plunge his blade into this opponent's throats, fearlessly, he doesn't mind telling George Friking Washington to shut the hell up and not follow him because he'll kill him (there's such a pleasure in a native reprimanding enslaver Washington) – he's, simply put, a great hero.

I've seen many complain that he's boring, or that the actor who played him, Noah Watts, delivered lines in an emotionless way – the only thing that could make him 'boring' is the fact that he's not a lady's man like Ezio was, and to my eyes that's a plus. He speaks slowly and modulates well in English because that's not his mother tongue, and I can appreciate when a company puts these little details, like his way of speaking changing throughout the game as he gained more confidence with this new language he was learning to use. As non-English native speaker, I certainly can commune with the feeling of adapting my tongue and my brain to a new language, and I also know that I speak weirdly to those who are native, maybe I don't have the same intonations, and maybe I sound emotionless as well, who knows, but I can't think of a better portrayal of a non-English character speaking English in videogames than this one. They remained faithful to his culture, and even though I noticed Noah didn't speak Mohawk as fluently as English, I can still feel pleased with the fact that Connor speaks in his mother tongue in all of the scenes he interacts with Mohawks (that's something they did better here than in Unity, where not a single character has even a French accent. I switched the language spoken to French in my subsequent playthroughs, much to my disappointment, because I really liked the Canadian actors). I know subtitles may seem threatening to some, but I wish they did this more often: deliver more lines in the original language of each of the protagonists. It shows care and respect. And I think this game excels at respect.

So, yes, I liked Ratonhnhaké:ton, as you can see. Maybe a lot. Too much.

I also really, really enjoyed his relationship with Haytham.

When Haytham appears back in to the fray it's when the plot picks up. Their interactions are gold: I love the rivalry, I love that Haytham is constantly testing his son, and I love the tiny bits that may show or make us believe that Haytham has a soft spot for him – I love that we never truly know what's going on through Haytham's mind, why does he do the things he does – but what I enjoyed the most about these two fighting together is the fact that they represent opposing forces, a clash of interest, and they bring back the concept of the blurred line between the Templars and the Assassins, their different methods. Haytham represents the collectiveness of the Templars, through him we learn of what they truly uphold as right and just, and behind some of his reasonings you can see sense and understanding – you comprehend his goals, you get to know your enemy, your antagonist, which is something, for instance, the Ezio trilogy lacks (because Templars bad bad pium pium die Templar bad guy) and Unity and Rogue tried to do but ultimately ended wasting its potential. I never understood Templars more than I did through Haytham, and sometimes I found myself nodding at some of his statement, like 'hey… huh… he's not that wrong about this…'. But still, we're led to believe that the good guys, the Assassins, are never wrong, so we pull through with Connor – only to realize that yes, Haytham was right in many aspects, and yes, Haytham has lied to us and he needs to be stopped.

It's here when my love for Connor reached its ultimate stage: when he denies both his father (Templars) and Washington (for whom the Assassins were working). It's here where you see the true agency of this character. It's not black or white, as Ezio's games were; it's not that he was expelled against his will from the Brotherhood like in Unity; it's not that because of a clash of interest now he resorted to the Templars, like in Rogue; no, it's the philosophy of the very first AC game with Altaïr: Templars and Assassins are one and the same, they only differ in their methods, and when Connor comes to this realization, his struggle is visible and he puts his people first. Like always.

He remains true to his personality. He's grown, he's seen the truth, but he must make a decision. And after all, we're here because we want to see him protect his people. That's his real main driving force and we root for him because of it.

Now, I've spoken a lot about our main character. But, what about the secondary ones?

Achilles, Connor's mentor, hides more than he's willing to share – but slowly his backstory unfolds. In his homestead, Davenport, you're able to build a community with different townsfolk that you can invite to live with you through special sidequests, which combine plot and gameplay seamlessly. Through the homestead missions, you get to know Achilles and the other inhabitants and you see them thrive and grow into a tight-knit community close as family. I daresay that these missions were my favorite out of the whole game, and seeing the town grow not only in NPC's walking around but also in sounds, steps, people working and laughing and dogs barking and kids playing, gave me all the fuzzy and cozy feelings of a warm blanket in winter. Most of Connor's innocence and kindness is shown through these missions, and there are also some really good jewels hidden there, like the quest that asks you to guide the pigs back inside – damn. This game gave me very good laughs.

On a gameplay level, this game is light years away from its predecessors – the parkour alone has been revamped and revitalized, making it more fluid. Free running now isn't a chore anymore. Now you can hunt, which is a great part of Connor's backstory and culture, so it's good to see they blend gameplay with plot like this. There's a crafting system that took me ages to understand, but thankfully I got the hang of it. The combat is pretty much the same (counter kills always for the win) and the difficulty remains quite easy, as the games that came before. I wasn't looking for a challenge so I'm fine with it. Now, if you're looking for a challenge… the optional objectives got it covered for you. Because, good lord, they made these stupid main missions so much unnecessarily HARDER and IMPOSSIBLE to complete without having three or four ragequits and sometimes you have to restart up to ten times. To be honest, I never found myself more enraged with the optional objectives than I was with these missions, and I thought Unity's optional constraints were stupid ass complicated, I was wrong. This game. Must be. The most. Annoying. Piece of videogame. To platinum.

Apart from the 'oh I want to die optional objectives' thing, you have naval missions – which, yes, you guessed it, take place on a ship – I guess they were testing the mechanics for a (not so far away) future pirate game, because I can see the seeds of what later Black Flag came to be. It's serviceable and it fulfills its purpose, but as I don't like ships much, I left it on hold for the endgame. 

If you don’t dig the naval missions nor the main missions, there’s plenty to do in this game: you have the aforementioned homstead missions, the club challenges (which can take... quite a while), the underground fast travel points (a nice change of pace, though you can easily grow tired of them), the liberation missions, which will see you help liberate a city from Templar control and recruiting a new Assassin apprentice, much like in Brotherhood and Revelations; taking Forts, hunting like there’s no tomorrow, courier, delivering items and message delivery missions, a ton of collectibles, etc, etc. 

You might realize I stopped talking about the plot by the time I reached sequence 6 – yes, it's because I'm a little upset with it.

I said that we're here because we want to see Connor protect his people and triumph against the Templars. Yes. We receive that, yes. Amidst. A thousand. History. Lessons.

In my Ezio's Collection review, I complained that in Revelations we were shoved history in the face – I hadn't still finished AC3, because then I would've mentioned something about it. Connor comes across all the important figures of the American Revolution in such a contrived way – he acts as a guardian angel of this revolution, aiding each of the emblematic characters that took part in. I can roll with it in my suspension of disbelief (how come this one person was present at every major event, you know), what I can't roll with is the fact that he was present at the Declaration of Independence – this is some Ken Follett level of bs of probability of something happening to a character. Besides, it's always latent though never truly explicitly addressed, but Connor's skintone was something that should've deterred him from even speaking to someone like Washington – let alone, be present at the moment they signed the Declaration. He does mention at some point that freedom and this new nation was only for white men, and that he acknowledged that slaves deserved as much freedom as everyone else was fighting for; I'm glad he addressed the elephant in the room, though I'm also glad they didn't make the whole thing about it, because normalizing a character like this as a main protagonist was the main idea, I think, when they chose a Mohawk to represent the American Revolution. Still, that someone like him was able to achieve all he achieved in a plot like this, it only means he has some kind of Main Protagonist Shield, otherwise I doubt this could've served as a realistic story for anyone else in the same situation as him. It's, uh, a little hard to believe, that's all. Whereas I can see Arno existing within the historical frame of the French Revolution, without being the one that let the guillotine fall on King Louis' head, this one was a little more far-fetched.

I haven't touched upon the Desmond part – the present day of this game is more, uh… present than ever. And I loved it! I loved it because it delved deep into the Precursor's lore, and also it fleshed out Desmond's relationship with his father, and we actually do shit with Desmond – though that part of the Brazilian stadium, huh, for a company that paid too much attention and consulted with experts on the Mohawks, they clearly left Brazil out of their investigations. I forgive them, they tried.

The music… didn't have as much personality as other installments, it was kind of there, and right now I can't evoke a single theme except for the main menu one, so there you go, it's quite forgettable for my taste, sadly.

I forgot to mention that: this game looks gorgeous. I played the Remastered version of the game, and sometimes it looked like it was done for the PS4 instead of being a remaster (it does look better than Black Flag which came afterwards!). Lighting is magical, the trees breathe life into the screen, the water effects are crystal and realistic; many times I felt like was horse-riding in a Last of Us game (yes, I just compared Ubisoft to Naughty Dog, don't hit me). Davenport Homestead is my favorite location, now more than ever, because it's not only beautiful, but it also means home.

This game accompanied me in a very important moment of my life: I sprained my ankle and I spent a week in bed recovering, while also pondering about my job and the prospects of my future; I took many decisions while playing regarding what I want for my life. I cried at the end because I realized I had become too attached to the characters and because I was so sad to see Connor keep losing things. It all comes full circle by the end. It's a very mature ending, maybe a little unfulfilling, but reality is often disappointing and not everything needs a happily ever after.

All in all, my major complaint goes to the structure of the game and the poor organization they gave to it (AND THE OPTIONAL OBJECTIVES DAAJKSDAD). But Connor as a character in itself made it all worthwhile for me. And I'll always cherish him. I know he won't resonate with everyone, but he resonated with me.

[wr0temyway0ut]

7 17 20 22 24 28 37 for the 40 Questions Meme for Fic Writers!

Hey have i mentioned lately that i freaking love and miss you

This post got very long so answers below the cut! 

(40 Questions Meme for Fic Writers)

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Tbh I’m proud of most of my work but recently I’m especially proud of this bit from Tiny Symphonies (warnings for implications of disordered eating and depression, mentions of blood and stitches): 

Bobby wants to tell Luke that he knows exactly how he feels, that he’s been in his shoes before. That he knows how pointless it feels to take care of yourself when the people who were supposed to do that for you—who were supposed to love you unconditionally— just don’t anymore. That he’s not alone; that Bobby stopped eating and sleeping and showering too, obsessing over what he could have done better, what would have made him more worthy of love. But he’s never told anyone that, not even Alex, and no one’s ever asked. Bringing it up now would make this about him, and it’s not about him, it’s about Luke. There’s no point in treating a faded scar when there’s an open gash that still needs stitches.

Just because I’m a screenwriter by trade, so most of my writing is action and dialogue, and I was sort of worried that I’d lost my touch for internal monologue or really anything that can’t be seen or heard on screen, but I think I did really well with this introspective take on Bobby, if I do say so myself.

17. Do you write your story from start to finish or do you write the scenes out of order?

Start to finish! Mostly bc with fanfic I generally don’t outline or plan ahead so I’m just seeing where the writing takes me, but even with my academic/professional work I find it hard to skip around between scenes.

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

For fanfic: on my phone in bed at midnight. For everything else, on my back porch on with my cat in my lap.

22. Choose a passage from one of your older fics and edit it into your current style.

Aha okay here’s a rewritten bit from my single Good Omens fic Lift Home? I wrote in 2019 (I refuse to go any older than that)

They sit in silence for a good deal of the ride, Aziraphale clutching his books as if doing so can control Crowley’s reckless careening through the city.

As they near the bookshop, Crowley slows down ever so slightly, not that the change would be perceptible to any being without their heightened senses. Still, Aziraphale relaxes the tiniest bit, and deems it safe to break the silence.

“That really was very kind of you.”

“I said don’t mention it.”

“Well, I won’t bring it up again, but I do want you to know…” He places a gentle hand over Crowley’s on the steering wheel. “That was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

A spike of panic shoots through Crowley’s chest. Without thinking, he wrenches the steering wheel to the right, pulling his hand away from the angel’s and sending the Bentley crashing around the corner. He slams on the brakes in front of Aziraphale’s bookshop, just barely missing a fire hydrant.

With as much indifference as he can muster, Crowley drawls, “Here you are.”

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

I don’t think I have, thought lately I’ve been seriously considering orphaning my old Hamilton fics. The only reason I haven’t done it yet is because the rare email notification that someone has commented on them makes me happy.

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

 @martialwriter do you count? Is this for specifically fanfic? Idk if you write fanfic but I will say it was a freaking honor to read your early drafts of the Guardians and make films with you bc you’re such a great writer. Also @a-tomb-with-a-view was sort of the first jatp writer I read when I was getting into the fandom and they continue to write astonishing pieces. I owe my entire good dad!Caleb au to @siriuslyrose and her absolutely delightful fic Are You For Me or Against Me. And @satisfictiion my old buddy from the hamilton days who is now writing a jatp percy jackson au that’s so fun and intriguing and has me on the edge of my seat. I know it said only three but also @kybee1497 and @on-irratia deserve appreciation to

37. Talk About Your Current WIPs

Ooooh boy there’s so many. So I’ve got Heart of a Dancer and The Parent Trap which are already published and in progress (i’m working on the next chapter of Heart of a Dancer rn). Honestly I have so many WIPs rn it’s just easier to post screenshots of my list

The ones I’ve actually started are the Vagabond, Finally Free, and Teenagers Scare the Living Shit Out of Me, but I’m very excited to get to the other ones. (edit: I just realized Unconditional Love has no explanation lmao, it's about Alex finding out his parents have changed and being pissed about it, framed by the song "Unconditional Love" by Against Me!)

As a bonus, here’s all the titles I went through for Tiny Symphonies before I settled on one:

[coquesne]

For the ask game: 1, 2, 4, 5, 19, 24 (sorry if it's a lot but they're all so interesting!)

Thank you for asking all that! This got really long so it’s under the cut

1. Historical figure you used to like before you learned more about

Idk if I ever really liked a historical figure, like as a person, but I would probably have to say John Laurens based on what I thought about him from the Hamilton musical fandom’s interpretation of him (soft uwu turtle boi. just. no.) and then when I read his actual biography and learned more about him as a person. Not saying that I don’t like him anymore or think that he was a bad person (certainly not if we’re comparing him to other South Carolinians of the time) but he’s definitely a complex person to figure out (and honestly? that’s what I love about learning about him and practically all other historical figures) and at times made some questionable moral decisions.

2. Historical figure you love to hate

Ooh! Marquis de Sade! He was a truly fucked up individual but intensely interesting. Absolutely insane that he spent a total of 32 years in prison and just kept writing really violent porn throughout it. I think that he was Not a good person and I can’t ethically agree with most of his philosophies, but I think that he deserves to be seen as a philosopher in his own right like all those other guys you probably know more than me about because (and now we’re just going straight into philosophy instead of history) those are some really interesting ideas. Basically I hate him personally, but I love him as a historical figure.

4. Historical figure everyone should collectively stop talking about

This one’s hard. Henry VIII? Maybe I’m just saying this because my mom watched The Tudors a few too many times and now brings Henry VIII up whenever I talk about history (and my kind of history is never related to late medieval English monarchy (ok except for the fact that under Henry VIII England made buggery a crime and that does actually relate to what I study))

5. Historical figure we should talk more about

OH BOY let me introduce you to a person named George/Mary/Charles Hamilton because they actually used all three of these names (no relation to the other Hamilton). He was born Mary Hamilton in England, and then at fourteen dressed as a boy and under the name George and began training to be a doctor. Later in life, he ended up actually marrying a woman, but a few months later the woman reported George and since there was no actual crime on the books befitting what George did, they charged him with fraud, for supposedly tricking the woman into marrying them. We don’t know if there was a trick, or if the woman knew she was marrying a biological woman and just got angry enough for some other reason to tell the authorities, but George ended up being whipped for fraud. Henry Fielding, Just Some Guy™ , wrote a fictionalized version of Hamilton’s life and story under the title The Female Husband, popularizing this version of events in which George married 14 different women and defrauded them (this did not happen). This was in 1746, and Hamilton drops off the radar in England. Then, a couple decades later in Philadelphia I think it was, there’s a man named Charles Hamilton going around doctoring and I think may have been living with another woman (I can find the source for this if you want me to I’m just lazy). There’s no direct link that George and Charles Hamilton were the same person, but the timeline lands right and everything is a very perfect coincidence if that’s what it actually was. The Wikipedia page for Mary Hamilton is in my opinion trash and unnecessarily disparaging and that’s probably due to the fact that the most cited source in it was written in the 50s. I’m sure you can imagine why that’s not ideal. But anyway, one of the most interesting life stories i think and no one knows about it.

19. Which historical kingmaker / hand behind the throne kinda person would you gladly be a puppet of?

Ooh this is a hard one. I don’t actually know that much about stuff like this. I’d maybe say Ivarr, Ubba, and Halfdan Ragnarsson? They did a bunch of stuff with the Great Heathen Army in the 800s and were pretty cool. Like all of the kings of England were just paying them and saying ‘please don’t attack us look money and horses.’ Idk much about them except from what I learned playing Assassins Creed Valhalla

24. What made you fall in love with history?

*no one get mad at me please* Hamilton. Fucking Hamilton. Don’t worry, now I think that it was objectively bad and the fandom is absolutely toxic and just plain weird (looking at you, hatsune miku jefferson binder). But yeah. I listened to Hamilton, I thought, wait, this guy sounds cool, I read the Chernow biography, I thought, wait, this guy is just a Hamilton fanboy I don’t wanna read this. At this point in time I’ve read tons about Hamilton the person and though I still think that he has an objectively cool story, he’s very hyped and I can’t think about Alexander Hamilton without remembering being 14 and fangirling over the musical version of him and cringing. But I got introduced to the wacky world of 18th century queer history through him and Laurens and the rest is history (that was a horrible pun i’m so sorry). Yeah. Now I’m a history major and it’s all thanks to Lin Manuel Miranda I hate it too.

[captain-of-the-historicfuture]

~hello~ !! For the meta asks!: 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24, and 25 :))

Hello!! Thank you for sending these; I was really excited to see that ask game and I was hoping somebody would send some in. It still took me a while to actually answer them though, and for that I apologise. But without further ado! Some meta answers (under the cut because they ended up being fairly long, whoops):

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (Consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway.)

I thought of a few examples, but they could basically be grouped together under a common theme: whumpy/angsty scenes that were self-indulgent as all heck. The whole self-indulgent aspect often required the characters to be just the teeniest, tiniest bit OOC and/or necessitated rather unrealistic plot circumstances. So it was simply easier to keep such scenes as maladaptive daydreams, rather than trying to think of explanations for the character/plot issues…or exposing myself to judgement for them LOL.

Receiving permission to write/share one such scene anyway is an opportunity I can’t let slip by though. It might be because I’m writing this while running on zero (0) hours of sleep—let’s hear it for insomnia, y’all!—but I suddenly couldn’t remember any of my newer ideas under this category. However, I did recall a one-shot I had started writing a couple of months ago that sort of counts? “Sort of” because I could actually be arsed to write it since I was, ya know, writing it. Only got about six hundred words down though.

…should I share those six hundred words…?

………nahhh. I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.

But here’s the gist of it: Coulson and May (because of course it’s Philinda) were married for quite some time before the Attack on New York. But then Coulson DiedTM and then got ResurrectedTM. But gasp of horror, he had to lose his memories of his romantic relationship with May because reasons. (I actually did have some ideas for those reasons but sshhhh this is about me yeeting context and setup.)

The first half of S1 still happens as normal (except MayWard doesn’t happen because??? Vows) and it’s now post-E20 “Nothing Personal”. The morning after (or a morning soon after, whatever) the T.A.H.I.T.I. reveal! May’s mom—who doesn’t know about GH.325 and whom May fed a cover story about Coulson divorcing her or something equally as oof, IDK—shows up at the hotel and starts ripping into Coulson for breaking her daughter’s heart, then dragging her back into the field with her ex-husband (him), then accusing her of terrible things and forcing her away again.

Poor guy’s confused as heck, and so is the team, and soon enough so is Lian. The only one who understands what’s going on is May, and she’s freaking dying off to the side like why is this happening to me and eventually everybody’s like! Explain??? (Was thinking about including something from Coulson like, “Are you still keeping things from me?” Just for that extra smidge of angst, yay!)

So yeah then May gives a, like, two-sentence debriefing that elicits more questions than answers. Coulson decides to take May aside and they have a heart-to-heart. Lots of feelings and angst and hurt/comfort and at some point plenty of kissing too. Just! May hiding her feelings for Coulson’s sake but really magnified, plus some actual apologies and consideration of the grief May’s been through on Coulson’s part.

And uhh yeah that’s basically it I dunno hdsjncjshd. I warned y’all it’s OOC, plot-bendy, and very self-indulgent!

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I don’t think I could name a single character for this. I get different things out of taking on different voices, you know? I guess recently I’ve found myself gravitating towards more taciturn and introspective points of view, like JQ from my original novel Rosewood or M. Yisbon from my…other original novel Temple.

Generally, however, I like tackling stories from an outsider’s perspective. That’s why I so rarely write my more “substantial” (serious? demanding? for lack of better words?) projects from the PoV of my “preferred” character. This usually means writing from their love interest’s perspective, but not always. With shorter fanfic, using a more removed/unconventional/niche PoV can be really fun. Like, I once wrote a canon compliant ficlet purely(-ish) about Philinda from Tony Stark’s perspective. That isn’t always sustainable with stories that demand more character development or closer character studies, however, which is why it’s a good thing I like writing drabbles!

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

My word counts tend to run long, but I usually only write one-shots for fanfic. If I’m even inspired with a novella- or novel-length story idea for a fandom, you already know I’m in deep with them. And if I actually find the motivation to plan and execute that idea? Dangg. That’s only ever happened…twice, maybe thrice, and I’m in a lot of fandoms.

At times, I wish I could go for more of a middle ground ’cause, like, you know what I love to see? An AO3 dashboard with several completed novellas for my ship/character of choice. I mean yes, I hecking love >90k fics, but sometimes I’m in the mood for quick reads…and what am I supposed to do when I burn through all the drabbles and 2k one-shots? (Besides despair and/or reread my faves desperately.) Novellas are basically always safe for me LOL, and I’d hope to be able to give as much as I take.

Ultimately though, I think I’m okay with where I am with regards to that. I wish I could write more in general, but I’d be okay with “writing more” just meaning “writing more one-shots”, ya know? More than okay, really. I have mad respect for fic writers who have, like, a hundred or more one-shots under their belt for this one ship. The fandom ecosystem would be incomplete without them (as well as every other type of writer, but sshhh that’s the type of writer I’m closest to being right now).

I’m definitely a plotter, and I definitely prefer it that way. It’s cool having such a detailed record of my process. I like feeling like a frazzled genius on the brink of a major discovery with all of my different outlines and colour coding and many drafts and various websites.

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

Not exactly. It might be cool if my original works were recognisable in the world, but I don’t think I’d want to be recognisable. As for fanfic, I’d low-key enjoy gaining a place in that fandom’s community as a fic writer. Like someone who gave and got fic gifts from fic writer friends, who participated in challenges and GCs, who received writing prompts on Tumblr, whose name was known for doing a certain trope/genre a bunch of times… Ya know what I mean?

Unlikely to happen when I’m so hecking hesitant to publicly (i.e., outside of AO3) claim credit for my writing, but fjnskfsjhfjs. A writer can dream, right?

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Of those three, tags are the easiest for me, for I have a reliable system for figuring out those.

Next easiest would probably be titles. For fanfiction, I like to use titles that are a quote from the source material. You should have seen all of my old Hamilton fanfic… I was really proud of some of those titles. And I don’t mean, like, whole lines—usually only two to five words. It’s a unique type of wordplay that I just love dabbling in.

And lastly, summaries. Sometimes inspiration strikes me and a snappy and intriguing synopsis just jumps out—one that I’m quietly pleased with—but most of the time I’ll spend way too long trying to think of such a synopsis and eventually just go with whatever I’d come up with so far. And live with my quiet dissatisfaction for the rest of time.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (Plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations...?) Tell us about them!

Typically, no. If I have deleted scenes, I save and publish them separately, but that’s about it. I sometimes think of AUs for my own work and might talk about them in my author’s notes—might even talk about writing them—but I never really do anything with them.

Although…

It’s not uncommon for me to decide a plotline isn’t working for a certain story or to think of an interesting but undoable arc for a certain character, but what I’ll do is make a whole new story for those ideas. Once I’m done developing the original idea and the branched-off one, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell they grew from the same roots. Does that count?

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as (film, webcomic, animated series, etc.)?

That depends on the story. I’ve actually written stories in other mediums—movie screenplay, musical stageplay, poetry, TV show scripts, play scripts, roleplay—but the novel does tend to be my comfort zone. Sometimes, if I have an idea that I think could work, or would even work better, as another medium, I’ll label it as such in my folder of ideas and decide not to write it as a novel.

Most of the time, my non-book projects are collaborations. I’m working with five different people on six different story ideas: two webcomics, one stage musical, one anime, and two animated TV shows. Little concrete progress has been made in any of those, mind you, but they’re still fun to discuss!

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Absolutely. But I’ve been writing stories since I was five years old, so we would hope so, huh?

I wouldn’t say my writing’s changed completely, though maybe that’s just my insider’s perspective.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Oh gosh, I can’t believe you’d make me choose. Writing is just such a wonderful experience for me; I love just about everything to do with it. Admittedly, not all the time, but. Since that barely qualifies as an answer, however, I’ll give you this—

The endings. Not only that intense feeling of rightness when you wrap up that last sentence, but also the moments before. The adrenaline of knowing you’re almost there but you gotta push just a bit more to actually get there. And also the part right after—the real wrap-up, honestly: the revision and the editing. Heavens, I love revising and editing my work.

Which is not to say I don’t like writing it out for the first time, too—there’s nothing quite like seeing your cursor scroll to the next page, like going from a blank expanse to a Oh man, how many more lines are even going to fit on this page?, like watching that page counter tick up another number. However, there’s something cathartic about finally ironing out those problems I had to force myself to stop worrying about earlier because “just finish the first draft dangit”.

I guess that’s not really the end of the writing process, but whatever. Close enough (as fic writers are wont to say).

Another thank-you for these asks, and feel free to come back with more at any time! ;P

Send in fun meta asks for your friendly neighbourhood writer!

[nxsmss]

Movies I watched in February

fyi, I have zero knowledge on how to professionally rate or review a movie. I am not gonna pay attention to every little detail. these rating are simply based on how much I enjoyed/liked the movie

Follow me

Unhinged

In Time

Avengers Age of Ultron

Songbird

Star Trek

Step up all in

Project Almanac

Ant Man

Space Sweepers

Christiane F.

Jurassic World

Jurassic World the fallen kingdom

1. follow me

A social media personality travels with his friends to Moskow to capture new content for his successful vlog. Always pushing the limits and catering to a growing audience, they enter a cold world of mystery, excess, and danger. 

starring: Keegan Allen, Holland Roden, Denzel Whitaker, Ronen Rubenstein, Pasha D. Lchnikoff

the end was very predictable and i pretty much already knew halfway through the movie what was gonna happen. but it still was quite thrilling and I did enjoy watching it

6.5/10

2. unhinged

After a confrontation with an unstable man at an intersection, a woman becomes becomes the target of his rage. 

starring: Russel Crowe, Caren Pistorius, Gabriel Batemen

hm idk, I didn’t really like it, my sister didn’t really like it but my mom did, I think. it just seemed so, no overdramatic but just too much in a way

3/10

3. in time

In a future where people stop aging after 25 and need to buy time to live, the rich become immortal while others cease to exist. So, Will is on the run with a hostage in a desperate bid to survive. 

starring: Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried, Cillian Murphy, Olivia Wilde, Alex Pettyfer

yes, such a good movie. Ireally like the concept. can recommend

7/10

4. avengers age of ultron

When Tony Stark and Bruce Banner try to jump-start a dormant peacekeeping program called Ultron, things go horribly wrong and it’s up to Earth’s mightiest heroes to stop the villanious Ultron from enacting his terrible plan. 

starring: Robert Downy Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johanson, Jeremy Renner, Elizabeth Olsen, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Paul Bettany

hell yes, one of my favourite marvel movies. Wanda and Pietro.. Hawkeye.. all the little jokes throughout the entire movie and of course the scene where everyone tries to lift thor’s hammer, what’s not to love about this movie

10/10

5. songbird

In 2024 a pandemic ravages the world and it’s cities. Centering a handful of people as they naviagete the obstacles currently hindering society: disease, marital law, quarantine, and vigilantes. 

starring: K.J. Apa, Sofia Carson, Demi Moore, Bradley Whitford, Peter Stromare, Alexandra Daddario, Craig Robinson

I really enjoyed watching this. yeah sure, the ending was obvious but I was still glued to the screen. I also felt super weird watching this, kinda surreal because we are basically living a more harmless version of this rn. I really liked seeing sofia carson in such a movie, I’ve only seen her in the descendants so this was a bit of a change haha. I’m not that big of a fan of kj but he was great as well and i really loved his characters style.

7/10

6. star trek

The brash James T. Kirk tries to live up to his father’s legacy with Mr. Spock keeping him in check as a vengeful Romulan from the future creates black holes to destroy the Federation one planet at a time. 

starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Leonard Nimoy, Carl Urban, Eric Bana, Bruce Greenwood, Zoe Zaldana, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Anton Yelchin

I put it on because I wanted to have some background noise while playing sims but I ended up playing like 20 minutes and then just watching the movie haha I forgot how good it was, and the others as well, aaand I totally forgot carl urban was in it, so that was a little surprise. anyways, can recommend watching them if you’re into sci-fi action movies but at the same time, if you’re into that I’m pretty sure you’ve already watched them.

7.5/10

bonus: I also watched star trek beyond the other day but this time I was barely paying attention so I can't really say too much, but it's also quite good👍🏻

7. step up all in

All-stars from the previous Step up installments come together in glittering Las Vegas, battling for a victory that could define their dreams and their careers.

starring: Ryan Guzman, Briana Evigan, Adam Sevani, Misha Gabriel Hamilton, Sephen Stevo Jones, David Schreibman, Mari Koda, Alyson Stoner, Izabella Miko

definetly one of my favourite dance movies. highly recommend it!! I’d like it more without the romancde but it’s fine, I guess, I can live with it haha and the last performance... wow just wow that’s all I can say to that. y’all go watch it

9/10

8. project almanac

A group of teens discover secret plans of a time machine, and construct one. However, things start to get out of control.

starring: Jonny Weston, Sofia Black-D’Elia, Sam Lerner, Allen Evangelista, Virginia Gardner

okay... I did enjoy watching it! the beginning was a little slow imo but then it just got more and more intense which was kinda nice. god, at some point the main guy kept making the wrong decisions and that was very frustrating to watch. the ending was alright, spoiler ahead (I guess) I would have liked the ending more if it was the exact same as the beginning, meaning that the movie is just one big time loop and the events from the movie were about to repeat themselves. but that's just my opinion🤷🏻‍♀️

6.5/10

9. ant man

Armed with a super-suit with the astonishing ability to shrink in scale but increase in strength, cat burglar Scott Lang must embrace his inner hero and help his Mentor Dr. Pym, plan and pull off a heist that will save the world.

starring: Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, Evangeline Lilly, Corey Stoll, Michael Pena, Bobby Cannavale, David Dastmalchian, T.I.

another one of my favorite mcu movies. it's just fun and easy and doesn't have a lot of pain in it. the giant ant it's my favorite part haha I want it as a pet

9/10

10. space sweepers

Set in the year 2092 and follows the crew of a space junk collector ship called The Victory. When they discover a humanoid robot named Dorothy that's known to be a weapon of mass destruction, they get involved in a risky business deal.

starring: Song Joong-Kim, Kim Tae-ri, Seon-kyu Jin, Hyang-gi Kim, Richard Armitage, Ye-Rin Park

I really loved this movie. I cried like 6 times haha, which came unexpected. (or maybe it's because I'm suppose to get my period any day now) I did not think I was going to enjoy this movie as much as I did, at all. it was fun, it was exciting, it was sad (even my dad said that) the plot was good, the visual effects were amazing, it did feel like I was watching this movie for like 5 hours but not in a bad way and I am now kinda emotionally attached to the characters haha (I might do a rewatch). another thing I really liked was the language/synchronization. in the original version they speak mostly korean and english but also some other languages and it's the same in the synchronizations. the dialogue of the main characters is in the language you pick but every other character (I guess) is a different language and I absolutely love that. I highly recommend watching this!!

also, its was super weird seeing Richard Armitage not as a dwarf hahaha

10/10

11. christiane f.

A teen girl in 1970's Berlin becomes addicted to heroin. Everything in her life slowly begins to distort and disappear as she befriends a small crew of junkies and falls in love with a drug-abusing male prostitute.

starring: Natja Brunckhorst, Thomas Haustein, Jens Kuphal, Christiane Reichelt

I binged the series the other day and after the last episode this movie was in the "watch next" thingy idk and I thought "well, why not" and watched it. good movie, definitely!! I really liked that they didn't show the highs of doing heroin but focused on the negative effects it has on someone and what it's doing to your body. it is a super realistic but very very dark movie. the actors were all about 15/16 years old and looked very young which was a good and kinda disturbing thing because christiane and her friend were like 13/14 when that all happened and it made you realise that there were kids doing all that stuff

9/10

12. jurrasic world

A new theme park, built on the original site of Jurassic Park, creates a genetically modified hybrid dinosaur, the Indominus Rex, which escapes containment and goes on a killing spree.

starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Ty simpkins, Nick Robinson, Irrfan Khan, Vincent D'Onofrio

13. jurassic world fallen kingdom

When the island's dormant volcano begins roaring to life, Owen and Claire mount a campaign to rescue the remaining dinosaurs from this extinction-level event.

starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Rafe Spall, Justice Smith, Daniella Pineda, Isabella Sermon

I am tired and don't really want to say all that much other than both of them are very good and I do like them. good action/adventure movies. can definitely recommend them. I definitely like the first one more because it feels like (just a little bit) that the main story in the second one is the same as in the first one, someone creates a new dinosaur species to make more money and something goes terribly wrong along the way. but it's still entertaining!

jurassic wolrd: 7.5/10

jurassic world fallen kingdom: 7/10

[obeymematches]

Yo! Could I get a matchup? For starters, I’m a 6’2 cis male and pansexual. I have a somewhat muscular build, I’m very active in sports. I have short brown hair with an undercut and dark brown eyes.

My personality. According to my friends, I have an intimidating look. I have a stone-cold expression on my face when I’m around people I don’t know well but I’m like a puppy when I open up to people. I’m chaotic, cheerful, affectionate, and talk a lot. On the darker side, I occasionally get insecure that I might be bothering my friends because I talk too much. I have a fear that everyone around me will abandon me.

My interests. I have a big interest in the arts, especially musical theatre. I like to perform on stage with a supporting role because my memory is bad and I can’t memorize many lines. I used to work part-time as a babysitter and I really enjoyed it, I love working with kids since they’re hilarious. I’d like to be a preschool teacher someday, it’s a big dream of mine. Another one of my interests is history. I like learning about the past, which is probably why I love Hamilton. Other random things I like would be psychology, gardening, and drawing.

My hobbies. I play the guitar and the ukulele, both of which I’m a beginner at. I write stories when I’m bored, which I have never posted. I’m a volleyball player, I’m a middle blocker. I play tennis and I swim as well. I draw sometimes but I’m far from good at it. I also waste a lot of my time watching YouTube or scrolling through Tumblr.

What I desire in a partner. I’d want to be with someone who shows me they love me everyday through physical touch. Cuddles, kiss, hugs, etc. I love affection! Also, someone who is responsible, intelligent, and respectful of my boundaries. Speaking on from my fear of being abandoned, I want to have someone who will assure me they love me and won’t leave me. Someone who is loyal. And a good cook because I like eating. I don’t care too much for physical appearances but someone shorter than me would be adorable.

What I can offer in a relationship. Loyalty, bad jokes, and romantic gestures. I’d bring them gifts before every date. I’d give them lots of hugs and kisses. And I’d love to pick them up off the floor and into a princess carry, as long as they’re comfortable with it. I’ll respect their boundaries, opinions, and choices. Also, I’d like to slow dance to old love songs with them late at night.

Thank you, have a great day!

----------

Hi!!!

Thank you for sending in a request, I hope you like the result! 

Ok so my first thought was Asmo because he is the most affectionate so you really wouldn’t be able to complain about that. I’m also considering Simeon a lot but he is too tall unfortunately. (+ i think he isn’t really all that into physical touch.)

So anyways I decided to match you with Asmo! 

Ok so in this relationship you are the tall and intimidating and he is the short and adorable one! thats a cute couple imo

In canon Asmo is known to have a type for muscular people (you know when he does anything to get a pic of Beel or Lucifer or somehting) so you’d super quickly get his attention focused on you! (simp)

 Asmo would be definitely happy to learn about your cheerful and affectionate side, as that means that you are not just interesting in the looks, but you are also someone he can have fun with! He is also rather chaotic just like you so I imagine you two would get in trouble quite often. But thats ok, he knows how to get away without punishment! 

It’s not really explained in the story (or idk about that yet) but at some point Asmo can get insecure quite a bit as well. I think he just wants to be loved, you know?

It goes without saying that both of your love language is physical touch, so theres no conversation that needs to be held and no conflicts about cuddling ect. but if you think he is going too fast (he might) you can always just talk to him, I mean it’s not like him to do something without consent. Sure, he might be a bit sad and he might get a bit insecure after, but he is not going to make a big deal out of it, just brush it off and try later. 

I think he likes a partner who can talk, like at a party or when he has a gossip to share with you, otherwise it would be just him doing it all and that’s much less fun. He is very extroverted, so theres no such thing as too much talking! 

 Well he is known to have affairs quite often but if you find your way to his heart I don’t think he would let you go so easily. On that note, later you mention that you’d prefer someone loyal and I was just a bit concerned about matching you with Asmo as he is probably more into open relationships or poly. But I think if he really falls for someone he is emotionally very loyal. (he might suggest poly or open relationship at some point down the road so that will probably be a conversation to have but thats up to you)

You working at a theatre is also a bonus! he just lives for all the drama 

I think he would be supportive of your dreams, unlike Mammon he doesn’t really care about how much you earn at your job. He probbaly has some connections to some pre-schools (its a long story and it was long time ago) so that way he could help you get a job (maybe just part-time) even if you don’t really have a degree just yet. 

He is not a known history nerd but he can tell you all about it based on his experiences he lived thourgh! it will be a very dramatic telling of history but it’s fun. 

 Ok so once you learn how to play the guitar and/or the ukulele he would be super happy to sing along to your tunes! imagine how romantic that would be! 

I think his life experiences could inspire your writing from time to time, if you are into writing based on experience. I mean he knows the juiciest gossips and stories ever.

He is not really into sports, no way he wants to get injured or start sweating because of that, but forsure he would accompany you on your workouts/trainings! (he’d also take pictures secretly)

In canon he is very good with words so I’m sure he would tell you all the time that he loves you in many different ways, and he would make sure you wouldn’t feel insecure about him leaving you. I mean it’s not often he actually has feelings for someone.

oh... he is not really a good cook... but he certainly knows where to get the best food in the city, so thats something! he probably cares a lot about food too, I mean you can’t just eat anything if you want a healthy skin and shape, right. sometimes he might try recipes that look amazing on Devilgram though.

ok so imagine Asmo with someone romantic like you??? like he would literally melt?? no one did those things to him before?? what is with this human seriously 

like in that regard there is definitely a balance. it’s not like he is never romantic (he prepares the best baths you ever had, gets you the best personal gifts) but he is not really used to his partner bringing him a gift each time they go on a date. so thats definitely a way to get him! 

with gestures like that you’d definitely steal his heart like no one else before! you’d probably be the partner he misses centuries after it all happened. (which says a lot considering how easily he usually moves on) 

[randomwordsandstormydays]

10 Questions Meme

I was tagged by both @its-sixxers and @dangernoodleofhell thank you both!!

Rules: Answer these questions, then create 10 new ones and tag 10 people. Since I was tagged twice, I’ll answer all the questions in this post, that way I only have to think of 10 questions instead of 20. Hah!

Questions from @its-sixxers

1. If you could have any kind of art, what would you get? Honestly? There’s some pretty dope ass Fallout fanart out there being sold on etsy, and if I had the money I would totally buy them and plaster them all over my apartment.

2. What’s your favorite MET gala outfit? I have never seen the MET gala, actually, so I don’t know!

3. If you never had to worry about rules or practicality/upkeep, what kind of hair would you have? I’d keep my same haircut, it’s shorter than a pixie, but longer than a military cut. I’m growing it out right now, but that’s mostly because of all the upkeep.

4. Who’d you have a celebrity crush on as a preteen? (If you’re aro/ace or didn’t have one - what band were you obsessed with?) I was in love with Samwise from Lord of The Rings, him and Aragon. Do they count? Lol.

5. Did you ever follow an embarrassing fad/trend? I was kinda scene in high school - dark clothes, lots of bracelets, that kind of thing, so yeah...

6. Favorite musical (If you hate musicals you are free to rant about how terrible they are here)? Les Mis or Hamilton.

7. First social media you remember using (Could be forums, BBS, whatever)? There was a site called my Yearbook that I had for a while until new ownership took over and made it a dating site.

8. Most nostalgic piece of media? Princess Bride. I love it, and it always makes me safe, like I’m a kid again.

9. Favorite outdoor activity? Soccer. I played for 11 years and loved it so much.

10. Do you have a guilty pleasure? Not really? I guess writing Fanfic, since it’s not something I share with most people I know IRL.

///

@dangernoodleofhell‘s questions

1.Is there a especial meaning behind your username or just keysmashed? Not really? My first one was Tords-Girl and it was for Eddsworld, but this one is just??? Fanciful? Idk man.

2.You can cancel 1 (ONE) person. For good. Who do you choose? My dad’s wife.

3. A skill you have and no one expected it? I am really fucking good at Beatsaber on the oculus quest.

4.How are you keeping sane while the plague ravages the earth? Mostly. I had already planned on doing literally nothing at all for the month of March, since I just left my last job and needed some recoup time. But now I can’t apply for the job I’ve been waiting for because of the Pause and I’m a little stir crazy.

5.Favorite comfort drink/food? Hot cheetos for food. Peppermint tea with hella sugar for drink.

6.One of your OCs just became real, how fucked are you and the rest of the world? I closed my eyes and pointed at my list of OC, and I pointed at Liam Harper. He’s an ex-courser from the Institue who escaped and ran to the Railroad for a memory wipe. Too bad it fails and he’s trapped between two different memories of the same life. This turns him pretty violent as he copes with his collapsing mind... so as long as you stay away from him you’re probably fine.

7.It’s there a thing/trend you like but it’s labled as “cringe”? Fanfic? Hah! But no, not really? I do listen to Minecraft and other videogame parody songs, but that’s pretty lowkey.

8.Do you make any kind of research before write/draw/create something? How much? Not at all! I just... write. I usually do an outline, just word vomit all over the place. I’ll do minor research if it’s something I’m not familiar with, but I mostly write what I know.

9.You can live in any book/show/movie universe. Which will be (Fan content counts too)? I would die right away, but Fallout 4. I’d totally love to meet all my favorites in real life. That or The 100, shit is crazy and I’d love to experience it first hand.

10. Aren’t you tired of go apeshit? Don’t you want to be nice? I have yet to go apeshit, so no, I’m sick of being nice.

///

I’m tagging @kvltprince @randomfuzzbunny @crenarei @cramsicle and you questions are:

1. What's your favorite piece of your own content (fanart, fanfic, tv/movie edits, etc)?

2. If you could have any pet, without requirements for space or food, what would it be?

3. What’s your favorite “struggle meal” or “quarantine meal”?

4. Quick you’ve been teleported into last last movie you watched - what is it, and what do you do first?

5. Block ramen or cup ramen?

6. Have you seen that new hype show, Tiger King, if so, what’s your honest opinion?

7. What’s a piece of media you love, but hate the fandom of?

8. Books or comics/manga?

9. 

What’s the worst video game you’ve ever played (if you don’t play - what’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen)?

10. Song you could listen to on repeat and never get tired of?