#idk if i have a katie tag in this blog but hey she puts up with it

[lesbianphan]

my only reaction to this video

[kae-karo]

Since you mentioned being in the mood for asks: I think I like my best friend. She knows I'm not straight. But has never actually said she's not straight but has discussed possibility of her sexuality being fluid? She doesn't open up to anyone. And so it's really hard to understand her feelings and I am always afraid of crossing the line by asking her too many questions? So I just avoid asking a question twice. I know our friendship will be ruined if I let her know about my feelings ( 1/2 )

But idk what to do with all these pent up feelings :( she gets close to me but then seems to be very distant after a while. Back and forth. Idk what to do. Especially with all this time in my hand during quarantine all I do is overthink about everything in my life including her. Oh no I'm ranting. Sorry have a great day !!! Love you Katie !!! 🖤🖤🖤 :) ( 2/2 )

hello dear!! 💜💜💜 okay first and foremost never never feel like you have to apologize for sending long/multi-part asks/rambling/etc i adore getting asks and it is never something you should feel bad about!!

now, onto advice here...there are a lot of different options ofc for what you could do, and i won’t say that there’s one right answer or one thing that’s better than another. i am and always will be an advocate for communication and honesty in relationships/friendships/etc, but i think the first thing that needs to happen is you need to decide what route you want to go

the kind of key directions would ofc be to 1. explain your feelings and see if she feels the same 2. decide that you do Not want your current friendship with her to change and that you would rather move on from being interested in her without mentioning that you have feelings or 3. keep on the same path you’re currently on and sort of just...wait it out

uhhh i will say that option 3 is usually...one to avoid, if you can. specifically bc this will probably leave you feeling Bad and that’d be something that’s uhhh not good lmao

so say you want to try telling her how you feel, naturally this comes with the risk (as you mentioned) that she might not feel the same/that you might ruin the friendship by saying something about it, but unfortunately...there’s not really much of a way around that risk. that said, and keeping in mind that idk her or how she tends to act/react to certain situations, there are probably ways to go about this that mitigate some of the risks

if i were in your shoes and decided i wanted to go this route, i might genuinely try to keep it as lowkey and casual as possible, and try to avoid making it some Big Thing™. i’d probs just say smth like ‘hey y’know i think i might have feelings for u beyond just friendship, i wanted to just let you know in case you felt the same, but if not, no worries! it doesn’t change that i still want to be friends with you, and i obviously am not gonna act any differently toward you if you don’t feel the same.’ like. i would try to make it clear that 1. i wouldn’t want anything to change if she didn’t feel the same and 2. that i have no expectations of her

especially since it sounds like she’s still figuring out who she might be into, i might also add something like ‘i totally understand you’re still figuring stuff out, i don’t want you to feel any added pressure, just wanted to be open and honest with you’ (sometimes being open can help others open up too!)

now, that said, it sounds like you might be erring more on the side of wanting to move on and get over your feelings for her - which is totally valid! or, ofc, if you tell her and she’s like ‘yeah man sorry i’m just not into you!’ then u would naturally want to move on without making things uncomfy. in that event, i have one very major recommendation: distractions

i get it! it’s hard with quarantine to keep your mind occupied with other things/people/etc, but unfortunately, moving on isn’t something that can just be done, it requires practice and patience and time

one thing you can try is choosing something you already enjoy and finding an aspect of that to dive deeper into. for example, fan of a show/book? go search for fanart or fanfic if you’re into that! come up with an oc just for fun in whatever universe that piece of media is in, even if u never show it to anyone. pick a few blogs you’ve seen who post a lot and check them out, maybe follow if they seem cool! write fic or draw art, whether it be of an oc or existing characters or even just scenes or something! especially try this out even if you’ve never done either of those things before - and don’t get discouraged if those things aren’t perfect, just give them a shot and you might find something you really enjoy! grab a character or ship you usually don’t give much attention to/haven’t seen before and go check out their tag!

along this route, i speak a lot about fandom/fictional media bc that is what i personally use as an escape, but the same goes for activism/politics/languages/animals/other subjects/literally anything that is of interest to you! there is almost always an unexplored aspect of something that you can dive into. but! in the event that you can’t or don’t find anything interesting...

another thing is to find something new! a show you’ve heard about but never watched (or a show you’ve literally never heard of before but like just keeps popping up on ur netflix page), a book you’ve been putting off reading, a youtuber that seems p cool, a skill or language or craft or really, literally anything you haven’t done, and trying it. invest a bit of time and energy and just see where it takes you, let yourself think about this new thing and follow your line of curiosity. some of the best (and worst/dumbest/most cursed) ideas i’ve ever had came from just. randomly following the line of curiosity in my head and seeing where it takes me. hell, that’s what led to me writing fic in the first place!

and be forgiving of yourself too, don’t associate thoughts about this person with any kind of ‘oh shit i’m not supposed to be thinking about her’ kind of reactions, just gently redirect your thoughts to that one episode you just watched, or the question you have about the universe it exists in, or what crocheting pattern you want to try out first, etc etc etc. again, this kind of thing takes time and patience and won’t happen overnight, but you absolutely can get there!

the last ‘distraction’ i tend to go for is revisiting old interests! that fic or book you read a long time ago but still have/still have bookmarked as a fave? pick it back up and give it a reread - the cool thing about stories is that, over time, our perspectives change, and the way we experience the story and the emotions we feel over it change as well. same goes for old shows, esp if it’s been a minute! you can even do this in tandem with the first distraction type and dig back into fandoms you haven’t seen in a while!

it can be hard to remember sometimes - esp while we’re in quarantine! - that worlds exist outside our current interests and spheres of influence. whatever you decide to do, dear, just remember that things will be okay in the end (even if they’re not okay at first) so long as you try to do what’s right for you and be thoughtful and caring along the way. i hope this helped at least a little!