#idk if i can ever do this again LOL
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wouldn’t wish a lesbian breakup on my worst enemy
#located feelings and emotions that i didn’t know were humanely possible#idk if i can ever do this again LOL#coming out as a lesbian to immediately entering at least four years of celibacy pipeline
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"The Sea is an unpredictable mistress, and you’re caught in a catastrophic tempest, that washes away something irreplaceable with it. What have you all lost and mourn once the waters calm?"
-collage of traditional and digital concepts for The Children of St. Barbara, a storygame of what comes after rebellion -
#my art#ttrpg art#pirate aesthetic#artists on tumblr#trpg about being gay and doing crime as a rebellious pirate#idk if we'll ever put this up once finished but hey it's been great fun designing a game once in blue moon#i love tiny ttrpgs can you tell lol#this is again a full spread from my sketchbook and I slapped my digital spot illustrations on top of it haha
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can't keep your hands to yourself ☆ hinata shoyo x reader



synopsis: sometimes, you need a little joy and whimsy in your life. hinata unintentionally delivers. details: fluff | romantic relationship | ~1.1k words | gn! reader | based on my second date with hinata boy! (he’s so cute guys, i can’t do this anymore.)
A month ago, Yachi gave you the username of her best friend’s social media account.
She had done so out of the blue, but she insisted that you give it a try—something about being a good match for each other.
Over the next few weeks, you find yourself vibrating with excitement whenever you receive a message from him.
He also sends you flowers on Valentine’s when you’re busy in school. It also seems he’s done his research (through Yachi, perhaps), if the cute little stickers he gives you are anything to go by.
The last thing that made you lose your mind? On your first date, he snatches the receipt away from you and pays for your lunch.
Naturally, you don’t back down. To return the favor, you insist on paying for everything next time.
(Next time, you think with a giddy smile).
So, here you are now, in the middle of your second date with Hinata Shoyo.
“That was a good lunch,” you tell him as you exit the curry place you both just ate at.
“I’m glad you enjoyed,” he grins wide, eyes twinkling. “I’m so happy we share similar tastes.”
“Me too.”
While neither of you have explicitly confessed, Yachi and your friends say that he seems to like you.
And you hope to the gods that is the case, but that’s a discussion for another time.
“So…dessert?” Hinata shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets.
You nod. “What are you thinking of?”
“Uh, there’s this cookie place Yachi talked about the other time.” Hinata scans around the vicinity for the store he’s pertaining to. “There,” he points.
The posters of the pop-up store tell you everything you need to know about their selling point—the cookies were pretty huge.
You turn back to him. “Let’s check it out then. I’ll see if there’s something I like.”
When the both of you get closer, you see the price range.
“It’s a little overpriced, isn’t it?” Hinata whispers to you, so none of the customers or staff overhear.
“Yep,” you peer at the cookies they have on display near the cashier. Well, they do look tasty, but you’d rather buy something else with the money that you have.
As Hinata looks over the options, you notice a little sign in the corner.
“Lookie, lookie, don’t touch the cookie?” you quietly read to yourself.
Oh, these are actual products.
Wait-
Before you can say anything, Hinata’s has already reached out to touch the display.
“Hinata,” you whisper-shout. “Those cookies are real.”
“What?” He says, incredulously. “Nah. They’re like the fake ones restaurants use.”
You barely get a chance to grab his arm before he touches the cookies again.
“Hinata-”
“Sir, those are real cookies,” an employee finally says from behind the counter.
For a few seconds, the two of you freeze, unsure of how to react.
A nervous giggle bursts from your mouth and Hinata immediately walks a few feet away.
You turn around to look at where he’s gone, but the sight of a grown man with his head in his hands is enough to have you doubling over in laughter.
With a hand clapped over your mouth, you physically distance yourself from the store. You’re practically crying and Hinata is close to combusting. There is no need to attract more attention from other customers and staff.
When the pop-up store is out of sight, Hinata’s bright red and you’re still wheezing, holding onto him like a lifeline.
“Oh my gosh.” You wipe at your eyes. “Are you good?”
“Yeah, I am,” Hinata replies, looking a little out of it. He pauses for a while, before giving a new suggestion. “You know what, let’s just go look for some frozen yogurt.”
“Ooooh! I know a place,” you grin at him, pointing straight ahead. “Let’s go.”
As you slowly recover from the incident, Hinata sighs. “Oh man, I thought they were gonna make me pay for touching it or something.”
“What, why?”
“Uh, I don’t know…destruction of property?”
You bark out a laugh in response. Man, your cheeks and stomach hurt.
“Eh, I doubt anyone’s eating those cookies. After a whole day of exposure to the public air? No thank you.” You shake your head. “Besides, they should’ve just kept the cookies behind a clear barrier if they really wanted all hands off. I can already imagine all the kids who can’t resist a touch.”
You await his reply, but he only hums and goes silent. It worries you a little.
“Hinata-”
“Do you think I’m too childish?” His voice is much softer this time around.
“No.” You answer truthfully, surprised by the sudden change in tone. “What- why?”
Oh.
Oh, crap. Was it what I said?
“It’s just…uh…” Hinata scratches his head, avoiding your gaze as you two walk. “I don’t know, but what happened back there was pretty embarrassing.”
“What? No! It’s alright.” You shake your head vigorously. “You didn’t see the sign.”
“There was a sign?!”
“Yeah, but it was really tiny. Plus, I was in the way, so you wouldn’t have seen it. Not your fault.”
“But…” Hinata hesitates.
“Hey, I swear.” You place a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. “It’s fine, Hinata. I promise. I have my fair share of silly moments too. It’s not just you.”
“You sure?” His eyes dart over to you.
“Yes. What good would it do for me to lie to you?” You give him a gentle smile. “Now come on, let’s get that yogurt before the line gets longer!”
Hinata, ever the gentleman, walks you back to your dorm.
You find yourself wishing the date wouldn’t end, but your residential building is already in sight.
“Aww,” you pout. “Looks like I’ll have to go already.”
“Well, we have next week!” He chirps. “Your birthday party’s coming up soon, right?”
You nod. “Mhm, can’t wait to see you there!”
The two of your pause for a few seconds, wondering how to part ways on the sidewalk.
“So, I’ll see you around!” Hinata quickly pats your shoulder, the same way he did on your first date.
But something else compels you to do more.
Just before he increases the distance between the two of you, you reach your hand out to grab his.
You see the shock in his eyes during the few seconds your hands stay connected.
In that moment, you feel the wind knocked out of your chest.
His hands feel so nice in mine.
You give it one final squeeze, before gently letting go.
And as you tell him to take care on the way home, you realize that you also can’t keep your hands to yourself.
masterlist
#do you guys ever just: “they touched my shoulder?? OH MY GOD NOW I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND”#also idk if this is ooc but a part of me thinks that we can get a bit more self-conscious around people we like#also i will never think about cookies the same way again lol#stellarwrites#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#hq#hinata shouyou#hinata shoyo#x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#hq x reader#haikyuu hinata#hq hinata#hinata x reader#haikyuu imagines#hq oneshot#haikyuu oneshot#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu fluff#fluff#haikyuu fic#karasuno#karasuno fic#hinata fic#hinata shoyo fic#hinata shouyou fic
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i’m experimenting with a new way of keeping minerva out of trouble (aka interfering with the later games in the series) by absolutely committing her to the entirely fruitless hunt for a cure to the calling, driven because her son is really adversely affected by the blight in his veins that he inherited from her. i’d tie in avernus and the architect and have each thread she follows let her down. it’s a pretty dark turn for the character to have her basically turn her back on her fellow mages despite all the power she briefly amasses, and say: none of that matters if me and mine can’t live to see it. but it does compel me. and it really compels me to have her fail in that as she’s never really failed before, for her to be a near ghoul in veilguard whose own experiments have done nothing but ruin her, and then to have mercy delivered by the actions of rook in whatever the fuck happens to the blight at the end of veilguard idk i don’t understand lore.
rook in this case would be elodie thorne, a character who minerva has never met before but who her actions in better days indirectly saved (if minerva hadn’t ended the fifth blight elodie would have been thrown at it as canon fodder; if minerva hadn’t spared loghain elodie wouldn’t be the strategist he taught her to be and wouldn’t have become who she did after adamant; if minerva wasn’t an inspiration then elodie’s dimming belief in being a hero might have been long since fully broken.) minerva always sets out to do everything on her own, believes she’s the only one she (or anyone else lol) can rely on, and there’s something fundamentally correct to me about not actually being able to save herself or what’s most important to her but being saved by the like, out of her own control, tremendous far-reaching effect she’s had on people
#im excited abt minerva again lately i do want to do some reworking of her like narrative + themes#i think she needs bringing up to date because. idk i am not the same player i was 2-3 years ago!#this is just some workshopping#you can sub in sol de riva and pull some stuff abt sol’s relationship with the fifth blight but i really like elodie for an overall#worldstate and elodie also REQUIRES minerva as setup so if i ever am coherent enough to have multiple solid worldstates#elodie and minerva need to be in the same one lol. sol can have someone else
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❤️💛
#soft poolverine my beloved#I contain multitudes as far as trope enjoying goes (Logan likes Wade's yapping AND Logan likes to shut Wade up the old fashioned way)#(aka sticking his tongue down his throat)#(among other things but we're sticking with that for this one lol)#Wade is yapping about something#anything really because he can monologue about anything under the sun#and Logan just reaches over wordlessly and grabs his face and Wade just KEEPS TALKING#and every time Logan comes up for air Wade just starts up again#and Logan just smirks and takes a deep breath and goes back in#he gets some silence for a moment AND gets to feel that endless energy fizzing on his tongue#as Wade focuses his nervous mental energy on exploring Logan's mouth for a bit#you know they are SLOPPY kissers#just drool and teeth and tongues EVERYWHERE#I bet kissing Wade is interesting too because his tongue and lips are all ridged and scarred#anyway I just think Logan would shut him up once in a while for like hours long makeout sessions#and then peacefully go back to listening to him yammer endlessly about the minutiae of the My Little Pony Extended Universe#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#deadpool#kinda wip?#are any of these ever really FINISHED or do I just give up on them and move on 🫠#also dont get me wrong they def fuck nasty too#but I think Logan “Touch Starved As Fuck” Howlett would really revel in just being able to touch him lazily for hours#idk man I'm too far gone I need to be anaesthetized#deadpool & wolverine#deadclaws#wade wilson#poolverine fanart#deadpool x wolverine
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it's kinda fascinating to me how welt has been "at the end of his life" for like. several decades by now. he goes on and on about how old and weary he is and how "his job is done" and his story is over but- oh wait i just realized i can phrase this in a very funny way- he's kind of sorta immortal now because he got the herrscher core back, so he's really just stuck in the epilogue for all eternity
#kdj will never leave my brain. clearly#hsr#or uh#hi3#???#idk?#ill just tag the guy himself#welt yang#like his story could have ended several times#with his self sacrifice during the second eruption or his self sacrifice in the sea of quanta or his self sacrifice in apho#man welt get your shit together#or with him teaching bronya to be his successor and her surpassing him#but none of these character arcs were about him. they were moreso about the effect he had on other characters. while he stays the same#and it makes sense because when does the guy ever think abt himself lol#but all of these endings would have been tragic in a way#so maybe this epilogue he's stuck in. the. the space train he's stuck in.#HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA#i ought to tag orv at this point#maybe that epilogue (hsr) is what he needs. because we can tell that things are different for him#and that he's gradually talking about going home less and less#but all the tragedy of his self sacrifices happened bc even while crushed by grief none of his friends/family saw another way out#and he had to take responsibility again. but if this happens in hsr - with him going back to self sacrifice without question#do you think the astral express crew will let him? or are they gonna try to find another way? without letting him do it all on his own?#um. this is very long#hsr meta#i guess
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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..
#sculpture#fantasy art#fantasy creature#art#elf#lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal#stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing#over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you#do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things#up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put#them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY#I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin#of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned#eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL#but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah#Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik#25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li#like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c
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the thing abt the surgery is that yes I do get litle moments of being ecstatic it finally happened but also I just feel Normal now. like my base state for all my life up until last week was worry, horror, and panic when i'd occasionally remember the very unwanted thing my body was capable of, spiraling into what ifs on potential conflicts in my life and future... and now i just feel Not Stressed Out All the Time. Normal.
#talkys#and again that's still that i have not really ever been in active risk of anything happening LOL#god im so happy. im really considering the tattoo even though im not a tattoo person at all#ill see. it depends on how much my incisions/scars fade...but a small green line shouldn't be that bothersome to always be looking at...#ALSO tbf a tiny bit of the worry is still there... im gonna ask my doctor to detail everything about the photos he took of my insides#bc idk. what if they somehow grow back. what if he didn't remove all of em. ykwim. pair of noia#but that's also just due to regular health anxiety#actually you know what can i schedule a hysto. just to be super sure nothing can ever happen to me.#+ ALSO ALSO it didn't feel real every day leading up to it and it kind of still doesn't! like! who was that cheye! he wasn't scared at all!#no way i found a doctor to do it and my parents didnt fight me on it and my mom didnt scream and cry and cause a scene once there. YAY
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I drafted the pattern for the head and wings of the big bat, just the body and ear patterns left to draft, but oncoming migraine means pattern drafting time is over, so time for other thoughts! Mostly, do y'all think I should like pick a theme each week and take photos of the plushies I currently have (mostly ones I've made) that fit that theme? Like, fanciest fauna, or maybe I go in rainbow order, or like one week is dragons or something?
#I am very excited to make Large Bat#but I want this bat pattern to look a specific way#and I have learned the hard way (after the baseball incident and the hamster incident)#that if I want to design a pattern when I've had to take a daytime benadryl I totally can#but! If I want to design a SPECIFIC thing I should absolutely not do so on a daytime benadryl day#because I will design something! I will make an object!#it just will not be the object I intended to make#oh hey I could make rock plushies again#that's what I did after the baseball incident#but I got sidetracked and just have one rock plushie#idk that I ever shared it here actually#it's weirdly horsehead shaped#I've been playing a lot of coral island while unable to do my hobbies#I almost have the oceans cleaned! I am terrible at fishing in game and lagging way behind there#but gosh darn it the ocean will be clean in that game lol
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i’m READINGGGGGGG BABEL
#now i do have a bad ish tendency to let popular opinion influence me#which is lowkey probably why i picked up this book at all idk if by summary alone it sounds like smth i would pick up#altho i don’t think ill ever be picking up a book i haven’t heard of i have too many to read that i have heard of now lol#anyway the first bit was lowkey like idk#i think it was hard to get used to the style / setting / whatever and it was kinda dense and like#a lot of history/setting stuff ig it seemed like#so i was kinda reading very slowly and it felt a littleee forced def a lot of me being like ppl say this is so good just keep going#buT when the end of book one happened i was immediately like oh ok yes im INTERESTED now#and i am very excited now hehe continuing to read and its def getting more interesting im excited#even tho it was kinda slow for me at first i took so many quote pics tho lol#like so many lines/passages that made me go oh#yeah#anyway this is kinda unrelated at least unrelated to babeI (by rf k/uang that’s the book :p )#i read some a/dsom fic again#which i haven’t been doing bc there’s not that much of itttttt 😭😭😭😭😭😭#that i want to read at leasttttt and i can’t make myself write any rn#but anyway i NEEEEDDDDDD to get my hands on fragiIe threa/ds of power next#so i can read some of these spoilery fics#and also bc that willllll give me more KELL CONTETNNTTTTTTT#what im fiending for tbh#i got a library card and was immediately like giddy w the power i have now lol#after babeI i’m 100% getting ftop gonna put it on hold when im like halfway thru or smth im so excited LOLOL#me when i need to pack in the reading before i start work :|||||||||#jeanne talks
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Cats and Nasturtium Flowers~ something which was going to be a custom sticker sheet (for me to decorate my scrapbook with) until I realized that most sticker printing websites have like Actual Guidelines you're supposed to follow in terms of file type of the image and other things lol.. A nice picture then, I guess at least
#cats#flowers#nasturtiums#nature#I thought you could kind of just upload anything of any type. kind of like how you can print anything on a shutterfly bag/hat/etc lol#even if it's some low quality super pixelly badly sized jpeg or something.. but alas... anyhow...#Hrgh.... my lifelong battle (cannot freaking draw cats despite me being both a lifelong artist and lifelong cat lover...#I have been trying to draw cats since I was 5 years old and I still can't get the anatomy proper lol ToT#I mean like they're not TERRIBLE or anything but it just.... idk it lacks a certain charm I'm looking for. I see cat drawings that some#people do and go 'YES. that is a CAT'. like the shapes. I think it's similar to how like. sometimes you can tell whether someone#has been an artist for a long time by the Effort of their lines.. if that makes sense? There's sometimes a breezy almost sketchy#style that comes with an implication of 'this person has drawn this thing so many times that its become intuitive for them and takes them#like 2 seconds to smoothly dash out this shapely line with the perfect weight and movement' etc. etc.#Some of my art looks like that to me. But then my cats are like.. This Person Was Trying Very Hard To Draw A Cat lol#to ME at least. It probably doesnt seem that way on the outside. And maybe I'm just too deep into it. My love for cats is too profound. I#spend time daily observing them. No line I could ever produce with my mere mortal hands could replicate the unearthly perfection#of the feline form.. hrmph... ANYWAY lol...#so sad because i did really want to decorate my notebook with the nasturtium stickers... one of my favorite flowers..#I like the one sticker that's just the lumpy little green seed (what nasturtium seeds look like when they first ... uh.. exist? I guess the#seeds don't ''bloom''.. when they first ''appear'' maybe? A fresh seed. The ones you get in the store are like dried and brown#by then. But one of my nasturtium plants a few years ago plopped out a bunch of these fresh green little seeds and they're cute looking to#me... like a little wrinkled pea... my son...#oh my GOURSH I just looked them up to check whether I was remebering correctly... YES.... they are soo cute and cool... i love#nasturtium seeds hashtag my nasturtium seeds#Truly the most Perfectly Shaped in all ways flower that exists. leaves. petals. seeds. roots. ALL of it. THE aesthetic ideal.#I'm not a big nature artist either (rarely ever draw flowers and stuff. not that comfortable with it) but for some reason I'm okay with the#nasturtiums lol... again.. maybe cats are simply too powerful of a subject matter.. difficult to capture in their ultimate divinity
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Soulmate broke up with me. Gonna stab myself in the eye
#actually the worst timing ever wdym right before my intake appointment 😭#WHY AM I GOING TO THERAPY IN THE FIRST PLACE IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO STOP TALKING TO ME#No because. the way i don't want to do this. the way ive made a bunch of compromises#like... erm. okay.#well whatever Ig i can have tcc friends now and buy a gun#Not being my friend anymore because i have a true crime blog I don't talk to her about is like. HELLO#it's fine. im deep breathing. it's a rational thing for her to do. im willing to accept that#i won't message her anymore#but i am very sad#saying break up has romantic connorations ig#we weren't dating though lol she is just my best friend ever#she said we could be friends again but like#if I changed </3#or if she swallowed down her discomfort#whatever#genuinely the worst day of my life though actually#like been pretty codependent with him for like three years (and been besties for like five six idk)#so#literally don't know what to do noe#now*#I KNEW IT WAS COMING#been posting about my friends hating me for months and just lying about it#low and behold. here we are#but knowing that she stopped thinking about me the same and having her admit it are two different things#ugh#i need to go camping for like two weeks straight only way ill feel better
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hi hi hi :3c i'm aaaaaaalmost caught up on my dash after a couple of weeks of spotty appearances and a couple of weeks of being Straight Up Offline, and then i'll catch up on peoples' art and fics!! i miss being on here!! hi hi hi hi hi!!!!! 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻
(also i have been Pondering over a ren sentient a.i desktop buddy AU while i've been gone bc. i'm a sucker for that shit. dunno if it'll go anywhere but for now i'm playing touys and it's fun hehehe if you see a new tag at some point then that means i'm keeping him sjndfkn)
#tldr things are happening irl that are Theoretically Positive but carry a decade of baggage + are very stressful bc i'm being rushed#and health insurance bullshit has been stressing me out further. so any free time not related to the stuff above#has gone into like. crocheting a blanket. logging off. spending time off of social media. yeah!!!#i'm gonna be so so happy for everything to be done so i can sit down and Draw Things again!!! aaaaaaa!!!#need to finish my new ren ref sheet! need to draw smth for oushirou's upcoming bday!!#i missed r!ren's anniversary so i want to maybe doodle a little something for him!!!#and i want to draw little like. shimeji / ukagaka ren. is he malware gone rogue? did he just spontaneously gain sentience?? man idk lol#but in... middle school i think? i saw miyavi's 'girls be ambitious' MV and made a sentient a.i. oc based on his chara in that video#and ever since then. every time i selfship w someone. At Some Point i think about a desktop buddy au. :') it altered my brain sjkdn#ogey! i'm gonna try to finish catching up now!! i might not have the energy to say as much as i normally do on ppls art and fics#esp because there's SO much of it in my drafts ;;;;;;;;; but!!! i want to share everything i can!!! bc what i've seen is Sick As Hell!!!!#but yeah i'm hopefully gonna finish the last remaining Big Things next week 🙏🏻🙏🏻 and will maybe be on here more. (pls pls pls)#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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#Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#Mmmmmhhh#I had to step away and do something very quick after watching the episode so now I'm afraid I forgot all of it lol#Okay thoughts:#I'm afraid I'll keep saying this every time. Do not. Give me. An amv opening. Don't do that. Postpone your airing date. I don't care#I feel like I wasn't as pissed with it when they did that for s3 but it's probably a case of the s3 opening at least looked somewhat–#better (??) + you can make a mistake once but don't think I will let it slip a second time#Other than that... To be fair this episode was animated fairly well. I think you can really notice a big quality drop after the–#Ranpo-realizing-who-Kamui-is sequence but overall it's more than okay.#The colours of the ship irk me a little but to be fair I never thought colours were b/sd anime strong point...#This episode was sooooooo political in so many ways I could literally talk about it for hours#(don't test me I'm not kidding. Talking about politics in anime for hours is something I've done in the past and will do in the future.)#(Then again I study/think/breathe politics pretty much 24/7 so is that really surprising... )#I need to write an essay on Fukuchi's speech alone. The public speech communication techniques [redacted Italian politics comment].#The way he's welcomed [redacted eu parliament comment]. Unfortunately I don't have time for it but breaking it down very quickly#1. Suggesting to unify defences worldwide is INSANE. No one would ever take it. Probably going to be cynical here but there's one (1) thing#states care about and it's the independence of their own sovereignty (that is: no one has the right to come and tell what must be done–#within one's borders). Eu has been trying to do exactly that (unify defences) for decades to no avail. Nato is on the brink of crumbling–#down. It's just... Such a distant perspective from how the world works right now? Idk.#Which brings me to 2. Even if it's deeply inconsistent with how world politics work the bsd un perspective is still very coherent with–#a latter thesis brought up in the manga that is “countriest tend to merge and come together” which is. Very anti-historical if you ask me–#but idk. Beautiful to imagine I suppose.#What else uhm... I liked the drawings this episode... Even Atsushi was back being pretty at some points... (Generally not really a fan of–#what the style in the later seasons came to be). Also 55 Minutes reference ‼‼‼#I like Fukuchi's character so much......... I love idealist characters... And the inherent loneliness... The longing... The yearning!!!!!!#I love him so. Oh and I LOVED Akutagawa. I thought his entrance wouldn't have impacted me after all this time (and after knowing–#what episode 3 will be lol). And yet it was such an emotional moment!!!! What do you mean Atsushi is scared to be alone and Akutagawa is–#coming for him!!!!!! I'm crying all my tears. And Akutagawa was so cool in the end!!! By heart was beating so fast!!!!!#It's the etheral blurred light...#The way he still manages to come off so cool despite being inherently pathetic is nothing short to miraculous
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Okay, so! I've got a bit of a backlog of dbh fanart I've been meaning to post, but I don't really wanna drop it all at once. Y'know... for the suspense! I kinda wanna space it out a little! So what I wanna know is...
#i kinda wanna get an idea of what order i should drop these in and what kinds of things i should draw!#ive been home sick with The Worst Allergies Ever™️ so ive been drawing a lot today and over the weekend#idk it takes less brainpower from me than writing when im feverish and out of it lol#i do want to draw more dbh fanart! and just draw more in general#ive kinda neglected art as an outlet for a while so im glad i can start to revisit it now with a brand new obsession and new guys to draw#but yeah im rambling off topic in the tags again#after ive posted most of this backlog ill put out another poll asking about other characters i should draw!#i like to ask you guys polls#i like to imagine myself as a frantic businessman desperately trying to get demographic data from you nerds (affectionate)#“what do they like??? is it connor??? reed900??? gay men????? ANSWERS I NEED ANSWERS”#there i go in the tags again#ANYWAYS#mine#polls#poll#dbh#detroit become human#connor dbh#connor rk800#nines dbh#nines rk900#gavin reed#rk1k
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