#idk if anyone is even familiar with that show anymore

[d3adl3tt3rs]

"Jon was a theatre kid" this "Jon was alt in uni" that. Imma squish em together and hc that Jon was in a production of Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

[rosicheeks]

🤦🏽‍♀️

[loverboybrightsideghost]

maddie's character is weirdly uncanny to me. i don't know what it is but i feel like i've seen her before, which doesn't make any sense since she is an animated character. and yet.

[elikajinnie]

I Love You To The Moon And Back - S.J

P: Lycan!Jake X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Suggestive Content, Minor Angst, Possessive Behaviour, Feral Behaviour, Minor Injuries, Falling In Love.

Synopsis: You and Jake have been best friends since childhood, but as you grow feelings for him, you notice changes in his behavior, leaving you to wonder what happened to him. And you’re determined to uncover the truth

a/n: idk, i honestly dont know. i have been digging the horror au tbh.

𓃦

The swing creaked beneath you, your legs dangling, feet brushing lightly against the woodchips beneath. It was your first day at this new school, and you didn’t know anyone yet. The other kids seemed to already have friends, running around the playground, laughing in groups. You had wandered over to the swings to avoid feeling completely out of place, gently kicking your feet to push yourself higher, but not too high. You didn’t want to stand out too much, after all.

Then, out of nowhere, you felt the swing jerk forward, a gentle push. Startled, you gripped the chains tighter, turning your head to see a boy standing behind you, his small hands still on the swing. He was smiling, a carefree grin, his messy brown hair falling slightly over his eyes.

“What are you doing?” you asked, trying to sound braver than you felt.

“Playing,” he said simply, giving you another push.

You blinked, unsure what to say at first, but his easygoing smile made you feel less nervous. As the swing gained a bit of height, you found yourself smiling too, the butterflies in your stomach slowly settling. After a few more pushes, he ran around to the front, his hands stuffed into his pockets. “I’m Jake,” he said, squinting slightly in the sunlight.

You told him your name, and without missing a beat, he asked, “Wanna play?”

It wasn’t long before the two of you were running across the playground, chasing each other, laughing. You climbed on the jungle gym, played tag, and pretended the ground was lava, hopping from one safe island to the next.

By the time the bell rang, calling everyone back inside, you had a new friend. And as you walked back to class together, you knew that somehow, this day didn’t feel quite so scary anymore.

𓃦

Years passed, and you and Jake stayed inseparable. Even as you both grew up and started exploring different interests, nothing ever seemed to drive a wedge between you. While other childhood friendships faded, lost in the chaos of school, new hobbies, and changing social circles, you and Jake never drifted apart.

Middle school came, and with it, new groups of friends. Jake found his way into the soccer team, while you got into art, spending hours after school in the art room. You both made new friends along the way, but no matter how busy life got, there was always time for each other.

After practice, Jake would wait for you outside the art room, kicking a soccer ball against the wall while you finished up a drawing. Some days, you'd sit together, your sketchbook on your lap as he tried—and often failed—to draw something that wasn’t a stick figure. You’d laugh, telling him it looked like a "weird, sad robot," but he’d always insist it was "modern art." He would tease you endlessly about your doodles, and you’d remind him how bad his drawings were—but you’d still show up for his games, cheering him on from the stands.

High school brought even more changes. Jake became more popular, his team winning matches, and he started hanging out with the soccer crowd. You found your own little circle with the art club and theater kids. At times, it seemed like your lives were taking different directions. But it didn’t matter. After every win, after every school event, after every late-night study session, the two of you would find each other.

Sometimes, you'd meet at the old playground, the same swings still there, creaky but familiar. It became your spot, a place to talk about everything. Jake would tell you about his latest soccer game, the pressure he felt from his team and coach. You'd talk about your art, about the projects you were working on and the ideas you had.

When things got hard, when life felt overwhelming, it was Jake who’d be there. He’d show up at your door after a tough day, throwing pebbles at your window just like in the movies. And when he needed a break from the noise of everyone else, you’d sit together in quiet understanding, whether it was in your room or out by the swings, finding comfort in each other’s presence.

Even with different interests, different friends, and different paths, one thing never changed—you always had time for each other. It didn’t matter how busy life got, or how much things changed around you. You both made the effort, the little moments adding up over the years, a constant reminder that some friendships are just meant to last.

Because at the end of the day, Jake wasn’t just your best friend. He was home.

𓃦

It was one of those quiet afternoons, the kind where the world felt just a bit slower, perfect for getting lost in a book. You were sitting on the bleachers, absorbed in the romance novel you’d been devouring for the past few days. The plot had you hooked—an unlikely love story full of tension, banter, and those heart-fluttering moments that made you wonder if such things actually happened in real life.

As you flipped a page, you heard the familiar sound of sneakers scuffing the pavement. Jake came strolling up beside you, twirling a football between his hands, a mischievous grin already spreading across his face. “What’s this?” he asked, peeking over your shoulder. “Another one of those sappy romance novels?”

You shot him a playful glare. “It’s not sappy! And it’s not cliché like you think.”

“Oh yeah?” He raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. “Prove it.”

Without thinking, you flipped to a scene you’d just read, your finger hovering over the paragraph. It was a moment where the main character, after teasing the heroine endlessly, finally leans in close, says something flirty that catches her off guard, and leaves her completely speechless.

You handed him the book. “Here. Read this.”

Jake skimmed the passage quickly, his grin widening as he realized what it was about. "This? Really?" He set the book down on the bleacher and leaned toward you, his face only inches from yours, just like the scene. You could see the amusement dancing in his eyes as he lowered his voice, mimicking the character. “You know,” he said, his voice smooth and teasing, “if you wanted me to flirt with you, you could’ve just asked.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and your face instantly flushed. You hadn’t expected him to actually do it. Jake, noticing your reaction, let out a soft chuckle, his smile widening even more. He lightly nudged your shoulder with his own, that boyish charm never far from his teasing. “Wow, didn’t think I’d get you all flustered,” he laughed, clearly enjoying himself. “Guess the book’s rubbing off on you.”

Before you could recover, he gave you a playful wave and jogged off toward the field, calling over his shoulder, “Catch you later, romance expert!” He had no idea how those simple words left you sitting there, your heart racing, your mind swirling with thoughts you didn’t quite understand.

In the days that followed, things began to shift ever so slightly between you two. Jake seemed to take notice of how easily he could make you blush, and he started teasing you even more. He’d drop little flirty comments when you least expected it, his tone always playful, but there was something in the way he’d look at you that made your stomach flip. Whether it was during lunch, on the walk home, or just hanging out after school, he’d find ways to make your heart race.

Like when he’d lean close to you in the hall, his breath warm against your ear, and whisper something like, “Careful, someone might think you’ve got a crush on me,” before laughing and leaving you speechless. Or how he’d casually drape an arm over your shoulder, his touch light but lingering just enough to make you feel flustered. You tried to brush it off as just Jake being Jake, but something inside you was starting to shift.

One afternoon, sitting with your friend Wonyoung during study hall, you finally let it slip. “I don’t know what’s happening,” you admitted, staring down at your notebook but not really seeing it. “Lately, Jake’s been teasing me more, like… flirting teasing. And it’s different. Every time he does it, I get these… butterflies. It’s confusing.”

Wonyoung looked at you for a long moment, her smile widening like she had been waiting for this. “Girl, you’re not confused. You’ve got a crush on him.”

Your heart dropped at the realization. “What? No, I mean… we've been best friends forever. It’s just Jake.”

But as soon as Wonyung said it, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. The butterflies, the way your heart would race when he teased you, the sudden flush of heat whenever he got close. You were starting to see him differently. Maybe, somewhere along the way, between the teasing, the years of friendship, and those moments where it felt like he was more than just your best friend… maybe you had started falling for him without even realizing it.

After Wonyoung’s words that day, something shifted inside you, even though you tried to ignore it. You didn’t say anything to Jake, of course. How could you? The idea of bringing it up felt terrifying, like crossing an invisible line between what you had always known and something completely new and uncertain.

Still, her words stuck with you. No matter how hard you tried to push them aside, they lingered, sneaking up on you at the most unexpected moments—when you were with Jake, especially. It didn’t matter if you were at his house playing video games, or on the football pitch, where he would call you over, grinning as he tried to teach you how to kick the ball properly. Even when he waited for you after art class, leaning against the wall with that easy smile of his, chatting about his day or teasing you about your latest drawing, you couldn’t help but feel it.

You couldn’t stop thinking about the flutter in your stomach whenever he looked at you a certain way, or the warmth that spread through your chest when he laughed at your jokes. The feelings were suffocating, growing with every interaction but always kept hidden behind the careful mask of friendship.

Even in the library, when you sat across from him at a table—him with his head buried in textbooks, you with your nose in a novel—you were painfully aware of how close he was. You could hear the scratch of his pen on paper, the occasional sigh as he concentrated on his work, and every now and then, his foot would brush against yours under the table, sending a shock of awareness through you. But you said nothing.

On the bus to and from school, when you sat together in your usual spot, Jake would always lean his shoulder against yours, sharing his earbuds or cracking jokes that made you smile despite the growing knot in your chest. His presence was comforting, as it had always been. And yet now, it felt like there was something between you that you couldn’t name, something that made the air feel thicker, harder to breathe. Still, you kept it to yourself.

Science class was no better. You were partners, as always, sitting side by side during experiments, laughing at Jake’s terrible attempts to handle the beakers and test tubes. His hand would brush against yours accidentally as you worked, and every time it happened, you’d tense up, hoping he wouldn’t notice how flustered you were becoming. But he never seemed to, or if he did, he didn’t say anything. He’d just continue on, the same way he always had, making you laugh like it was the easiest thing in the world.

The worst was the mornings, though. Jake had always shown up at your door to walk with you to the bus stop, like clockwork. He’d stand there with his backpack slung over one shoulder, grinning as you made your way outside. You’d talk about everything and nothing as you walked, your footsteps in sync, and it felt like you were both stuck in this perfect little bubble, where nothing had changed. But inside, you felt like you were suffocating. The unspoken feelings weighed on you, heavy and constant, and every time Jake smiled at you, it made it harder to keep pretending everything was the same.

And then there were the swings. The old playground had always been your special place, the spot where everything began, where the world had felt simpler. You’d sit there together after school sometimes, talking about your days, your dreams, your lives. But now, even the swings felt different. You’d sit beside him, your feet barely touching the ground, and all you could think about was how close he was, how easy it would be to lean just a little closer. But you didn’t. You couldn’t.

So you stayed quiet, never saying a word, not even when the tension inside you became too much to bear. The feelings built up, day by day, moment by moment, until it felt like they were choking you. You wanted to tell him, to ask him if he felt it too, but the fear of ruining everything—the friendship you cherished so much—kept you silent.

And so, you kept pretending. Kept playing along, even though it was slowly suffocating you.

𓃦

You were sprawled across your bed, the soft glow of the TV casting shadows on the walls as you watched your latest obsession—a series about werewolves. The plot had taken a dramatic turn, and you were completely absorbed, leaning into the tension on the screen when you heard your door creak open.

Without tearing your eyes away from the show, you huffed, “Mom, I’m not hungry right now.”

But instead of your mom’s voice, you heard a familiar chuckle. “Good thing I’m not your mom.”

Your head snapped up, and there he was—Jake, standing in the doorway with that ever-present grin. He walked in like he owned the place, barely giving you time to react before he plopped down right next to you on the bed, making the mattress bounce beneath you. “Werewolves, huh?” he asked, glancing at the TV with mock seriousness. “And you said my interests were crazy.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the warmth that spread through your chest the moment he settled beside you. “It’s not crazy. This show’s actually really good.”

Jake smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? What’s next? Vampires? Maybe some shirtless brooding guy who’s half-wolf, half-whatever?”

“Shut up, it’s not like that,” you muttered, but before you could say anything more, Jake’s fingers found your side, poking you playfully.

“Oh, really?” he teased, continuing to poke you until you squirmed away, trying to bat his hands off. “C’mon, what is it? Secret romance between the werewolf and the girl? Or does she turn out to be a werewolf, too?”

“Stop!” you laughed, trying to shield yourself from his jabs. But he didn’t stop—he never did. His pokes turned into full-blown tickling, and you were soon in fits of laughter, squirming on the bed as you tried to push him away. Jake, of course, was relentless, his fingers digging into your sides as he grinned down at you.

“Jake!” you gasped between breaths, your laughter uncontrollable as you twisted and turned, trying to escape his attack. “I swear—stop!”

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he stopped, flopping down beside you with a triumphant grin. You caught your breath, glaring at him, and landed a light punch on his arm. “You’re the worst.”

He laughed, rubbing his arm dramatically like you’d actually hurt him. “Hey, just keeping you entertained.”

You both lay there for a moment, the sounds of the werewolf series filling the room, the earlier tension from his teasing melting away. Without thinking too much about it, you shifted a little closer, and Jake, ever comfortable, wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his side. It felt natural, familiar—like you’d done it a hundred times before.

You settled into the warmth of his embrace, your head resting on his chest as his fingers absently traced circles on your arm. The weight of his arm around you was comforting, grounding, and for a second, it felt like nothing had changed between you two. Just like it always had been—best friends, close as ever.

“Alright, I’ll give this show a chance,” he said after a beat, his voice softer now, more relaxed. “But if there’s some cheesy love triangle, I’m out.”

You couldn’t help but smile, even though your heart was still racing a bit from the tickling—and from the way you were curled up against him. “Deal,” you murmured, your eyes drifting back to the screen, though your thoughts were far from the drama playing out in front of you.

As the episodes continued, the two of you lay there, cuddled together, and for a while, it felt like everything was normal. Like nothing had changed. Like it was just another day with Jake, watching TV, laughing, and being wrapped up in each other’s company.

But beneath the surface, the feelings you had been pushing down—the butterflies, the warmth, the way your heart fluttered whenever he touched you—were impossible to ignore. You told yourself it was just the comfort of your friendship, the way it had always been. Just like friends do… right?

But deep down, you knew things weren’t as simple as that anymore.

𓃦

Graduation day came quicker than you expected. You stood in the sea of caps and gowns, clutching your diploma, feeling a mixture of pride and dread. While everyone else seemed thrilled about what was next—about new beginnings and new places—your heart was stuck in the in-between, not ready to let go of the familiar. Jake found you after the ceremony, that wide grin on his face, as he pulled you into a tight hug.

“I can’t believe we’re going to the same uni!”

You smiled back, trying to match his enthusiasm. He looked so happy, and of course you were glad—relieved, even—that he’d be there. But deep down, something felt off. Maybe it was the weight of everything that had been building over the past few years, the growing feelings you still hadn’t found the courage to face. Being with Jake every day, pretending like things hadn’t changed between you, felt both comforting and terrifying. You nodded and said, “I know Jake! I’m so happy.”

The smile you gave him was genuine, but the anxiety underneath it was real too. You weren’t ready to unpack it, so you buried it deeper, pretending everything was just like it always had been.

Summer vacation arrived, and for a little while, everything went back to normal. The usual hangouts, lazy afternoons, and spontaneous adventures. But then one afternoon, while you were at Jake’s house, he broke some unexpected news.

“Hey, so… I’ve got something to tell you,” Jake said casually, tossing a soccer ball up and catching it as you both lounged on the couch.

You looked at him curiously. “What’s up?”

“I’m going away for a few weeks,” he said, grinning like a kid with a secret. “Family trip. We’re flying out in a few days.”

Your stomach dropped, but you tried not to let it show. “Oh… wow, that’s amazing,” you said, forcing a smile. “You’ll have the best time.”

Jake seemed oblivious to the little hitch in your voice. “Yeah, I’m really excited. But don’t worry,” he added, his smile softening, “I’ll text you every day. I’ll send you a million pictures, and we can still video call, okay?”

You nodded, your chest tightening. “Of course. Every day,” you agreed, giving him a playful nudge to keep the mood light.

The day he left came too quickly. You stood in front of his house, the early morning sun casting long shadows on the driveway as Jake loaded his suitcase into the car. You knew you’d see him again in a few weeks, but the thought of not having him around for even that short time felt strange.

When he finally walked over to say goodbye, you couldn’t help but throw your arms around him, hugging him tightly. You felt him hug you back just as firmly, his chin resting on the top of your head for a moment. “I’ll miss you,” he said softly, and you could hear the smile in his voice.

You didn’t trust yourself to speak right away, so you just nodded into his chest, squeezing him a little tighter. “Miss you too,” you finally murmured.

As he pulled back and grabbed his bags, you forced yourself to smile again, waving as he got into the car. “Text me when you land!” you called, your voice a little too cheerful.

“I will!” he shouted back with a grin, giving you one last wave before the car pulled away, taking him to the airport. You stood there long after the car disappeared, feeling like something was tugging at your heart, pulling you in two different directions.

𓃦

For the first week, things went exactly as Jake promised. Every day, without fail, your phone would buzz with messages from him—pictures of the cobblestone streets, snapshots of old buildings, random selfies where he’d make some goofy face just to make you laugh. He’d text about everything he saw, about how much fun he was having, but how he still missed home. How he missed you.

You’d text back just as eagerly, sometimes staying up late to video call when he found a quiet moment between exploring and family dinners. Seeing his face on the screen, hearing his laugh, made the distance feel smaller, like he wasn’t halfway across the world. Even though your feelings for him were still swirling in that confusing, unspoken space, you were content.

But then, something changed.

At first, it was small. Messages taking a little longer to be delivered. You didn’t think much of it; after all, he was traveling and probably busy. You told yourself it was fine. Normal, even.

Then the delays became longer. His texts would come hours late, and when you’d reply, your messages would sit there, marked as "Delivered," but no response would come. You’d send a couple more, asking if everything was okay, but still—nothing.

The video calls stopped altogether. You’d sit there with your phone, waiting for that familiar ringtone, hoping for the notification that never came. You started calling him, hoping to catch him during a break, but every time it went straight to voicemail. You listened to the same generic message over and over until you stopped trying altogether.

Days passed, then a week. The silence was gnawing at you, growing heavier with every unanswered text, every missed call. You told yourself it was just because he was busy, that maybe his phone wasn’t working properly. But deep down, you knew something felt wrong.

Sitting on your bed one evening, your phone in hand, you stared at the last message you’d sent him. It had been two days. Two days of nothing but silence from the person you talked to every single day for as long as you could remember. You scrolled up through the chat, rereading the messages you’d exchanged—the jokes, the casual “I miss you,” the pictures of his trip. But now, everything felt distant, as if the closeness between you was slipping away.

With a sigh, you sent one last message, a simple, “Are you okay? I miss hearing from you.”

You watched the message shift to "Delivered" once again. And just like the others, it sat there, unanswered, as your chest tightened with the weight of the silence.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, and after days of silence, you decided you had to reach out to someone who might know what was going on.

With a deep breath, you dialed Jake’s mom, your heart racing as the phone rang. You felt a wave of relief wash over you when she finally answered, her warm voice a comforting sound amidst your anxiety.

“Hello?” she said, and you could hear the faint sounds of life around her—distant chatter, the clinking of dishes.

“Hi, Mrs. Sim, it’s me. I was just checking in on Jake,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady despite the nervous flutter in your stomach.

“Oh, hello, dear! I’m glad you called,” she replied, her tone brightening. But then, you noticed a shift, a slight hesitance in her voice. “Um, Jake hasn’t been feeling very well. He’s been locked in his hotel room for a few days now.”

Your heart dropped at the news. “Oh no, I—I didn’t know. Is he okay?”

“He’s just been a bit under the weather. Nothing serious, but he’s been resting and trying to recover,” she explained, her voice laced with concern. “I think he might just be feeling overwhelmed. Traveling can be a lot, especially for someone like Jake who hates missing out on anything.”

You felt a mixture of relief and worry. At least he hadn’t decided to cut you out of his life completely, but the thought of him feeling unwell and isolated made your chest ache. “Is there anything I can do? I’d love to talk to him or help in any way.”

“I appreciate that. I’ll let him know you called, and maybe it’ll lift his spirits a bit,” she said kindly. “He loves talking to you. You’re a good friend to him.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Sim” you replied, your heart warming at her words. “Just let him know I’m thinking of him, okay?”

“Of course. I’ll keep you updated. Take care, sweetheart,” she said before ending the call.

You set your phone down, a whirlwind of emotions flooding your mind. You felt better knowing he wasn’t purposely ignoring you, but the worry still gnawed at you.

For the next few days, you kept your phone close, hoping for a message or a call from him. You tried to focus on other things—hanging out with friends, reading, and enjoying the last of your summer—but your thoughts kept drifting back to Jake. You wondered how he was doing, if he was feeling any better, and if he’d return to you once he was back in the groove of life.

That night, as you lay in bed, you found it hard to sleep, thoughts of him swirling in your mind. You wished you could be there, to comfort him and remind him that he wasn’t alone, even if he was miles away.

𓃦

One afternoon, your phone rang, jolting you out of your thoughts. The screen lit up with Jake’s name, and you felt a rush of relief and excitement. You answered quickly, your heart racing.

“Jake! How are you?” you asked, the words tumbling out before you could even think.

“Hey! I’m… I’m okay,” he replied, his voice slightly strained but attempting to sound casual. “Just had a bit of a stomach flu, that’s all.”

Your heart sank at his words. “A stomach flu? Is that really all? You sounded… rushed.”

He hesitated for a moment, and you could practically hear the gears turning in his mind. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just needed a few days to rest and get better. You know how it is.”

“Are you sure? You don’t sound fine,” you pressed gently, trying to keep your voice calm. “Have you seen a doctor? I’m really worried about you.”

“Really, I’m okay! Just a little weak, but nothing I can’t handle,” he insisted, though the slight quiver in his voice gave away that he wasn’t as reassured as he wanted you to be.

You could hear faint noises in the background, muffled voices and the sound of footsteps. It made your stomach churn. “Where are you right now?”

“In the hotel,” he replied quickly. “Just had to step out for a second. It’s not a big deal; I’ll be fine, I promise.”

Your heart ached at how much he was trying to downplay it. “Jake, if you need anything… I mean, I wish I could be there with you. Just tell me the truth. You don’t have to act tough for me.”

A pause stretched between you, filled only with the sound of his shallow breaths. “I know, and I appreciate that. But really, I’ll be okay. I just need to take it easy for a bit, and I’ll be back home before you know it.”

You sighed, feeling a mix of relief and lingering concern. “Alright, but if it gets worse, promise me you’ll see a doctor. I don’t want you to push yourself too hard.”

“Deal,” he said, a hint of a smile in his voice, though it didn’t quite reach his tone. “I’ll keep you posted, okay? Thanks for worrying about me.”

“Of course I worry about you! You’re my best friend,” you said, your voice softening. “I just want you to be healthy and happy.”

“Trust me, I’ll get back to being my usual self soon,” he reassured you, though you could hear the weariness beneath his words. “And then, we’ll catch up like crazy. I’ve got stories to tell you, and you’ll be sick of hearing me.”

You laughed softly, trying to lighten the mood. “I could never get sick of you. Just focus on getting better.”

“Will do. I’ll text you later, alright? I might need a distraction from all this hotel room boredom,” he said, and you could almost picture him leaning back against the wall, trying to play it cool even while you knew he was still feeling unwell.

“Okay, I’ll be here,” you replied, hoping to convey your support through the screen.

“Talk soon!” he said before hanging up, leaving you with a lingering worry in your heart. You stared at your phone, feeling a mix of relief and concern. While you were grateful to hear his voice, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was still holding back.

In the days that followed, you couldn’t help but check your phone constantly, hoping for another call or message from him.

After all, that’s what friends were for, right?

After what felt like an eternity, Jake finally returned home. You could hardly contain your excitement as you made your way to his house, your heart racing at the thought of seeing him again. You knocked on the door, and when it swung open, you were greeted by a familiar face that felt both comforting and disheartening all at once.

Jake stood there, looking a little rough around the edges. His hair was messier than usual, longer than it had been when he left, and he wore a faded t-shirt that hung loosely on his frame. Dark circles under his eyes hinted at the exhaustion he must have felt after his ordeal, and your heart ached for him.

“Hey!” he said, a tired smile breaking through as he stepped aside to let you in.

“Hey,” you replied, trying to keep your voice light. But you couldn’t hide the concern in your eyes as you took in his appearance. “Wow, you look… different.”

He chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess I’ve been through a lot these past few weeks. Just trying to catch up on sleep and everything.”

You stepped inside and closed the door behind you, your eyes never leaving him. “Are you good? Really?”

He paused for a moment, meeting your gaze. “I’m okay,” he reassured you, though the way he said it made you wonder just how much of that was true. “Just a little tired. Traveling takes a lot out of you.”

You raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. “It’s more than just traveling, isn’t it?”

Jake sighed, glancing away for a moment. “Yeah, it was tough over there. I didn’t expect to get sick, and then I just… I don’t know. It kind of hit me hard.”

You took a step closer, feeling the urge to comfort him. “You should have let me know. I worried about you, you know.”

“I know, and I’m sorry for the radio silence,” he said, his voice softening. “I didn’t want to worry you more than I already had. I thought I’d bounce back quicker, but… it just took longer than I expected.”

You nodded, biting your lip as you fought back a wave of emotion. “I’m just glad you’re back now. That you’re okay,” you said quietly.

He smiled, a genuine warmth spreading across his face, even as it faded quickly. “Yeah, it feels good to be home. And to see you.”'

You glanced around the living room, taking in the familiar space. “Can I get you anything? Water? Snacks?”

He shook his head. “I’m good for now. I just want to hang out and catch up. It’s been too long.”

With a small smile, you settled onto the couch, and he joined you, sinking into the cushions.

𓃦

As you both settled into university life, the first few weeks flew by in a whirlwind of classes, social events, and late-night study sessions. Everything felt exciting and new, but as the days passed, you began to notice small changes in Jake that made you raise an eyebrow.

For starters, there was his appetite. You had always known he liked to eat, but now, he seemed to be craving meat more than ever. He'd pile on burgers and chicken during lunch, his eyes lighting up at the sight of a plate full of food. “Are you trying to bulk up or something?” you teased one day as he loaded up his plate again.

“Just hungry, okay?” he replied with a laugh, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to it.

Then there was football practice. Watching him on the field, you noticed how he had an intensity that was different. He was stronger, more aggressive, effortlessly sending other players flying with just a slight push. You had seen him play before, but now it felt like he was operating on another level. It was impressive, but a part of you felt uneasy—he seemed to have tapped into some hidden reserve of energy and strength that wasn’t there before.

And then there were the crowds. You had always known Jake wasn’t a huge fan of loud places, but it was as if his sensitivity had amplified. You could see him tense up during busy events, his eyes darting around as he tried to find a way to escape the noise. The first time you noticed it was during orientation week, when the crowd of students became too overwhelming for him. He started to look pale, and you instinctively reached out to take his hand, leading him to a quieter corner.

After that, you decided to get him a pair of noise-canceling headphones, and the smile that lit up his face when you handed them to him was one of the best moments of your week. “You really didn’t have to do this,” he said, beaming. “But thank you. This will help a lot.”

You also started to see how protective he was of his belongings, especially around others. If someone asked to borrow his jacket or a book, he would hesitate, giving them a wary look before declining. But when it came to you, it was a different story. He’d drape his jacket around your shoulders without a second thought, his expression softening as he did so. “You need it more than I do,” he’d insist, a playful smirk on his lips.

But then there were the moments that made your heart race. Jake seemed to have developed a stealthy ability to sneak up on you. Whether you were in the library, waiting for a class to start, or hanging out with friends, he would appear out of nowhere, catching you off guard. One day, he crept up while you were reading, and before you knew it, he had his arms around your waist, pulling you into a quick embrace.

“Gotcha!” he whispered, his breath warm against your ear.

Yet, there were also those times when Jake would go quiet at night, his responses to your texts dwindling to a halt. It worried you, but every morning, he would greet you with a bright smile, as if the late-night silence never happened. “Sorry, I fell asleep,” he would say with an easy laugh, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was hiding something deeper.

And during lunch or class, you discovered a new side of him when you absentmindedly played with his hair while chatting about your day. His cheeks would flush, and he’d lean into your touch, practically melting under your fingers. The sight of him so relaxed, so vulnerable, made your heart race.

But the most puzzling change was his protectiveness whenever he saw you talking to other guys. It would start with a small frown, then a quick, almost possessive stride toward you. “Hey, what’s going on here?” he’d say, slinging an arm around your shoulders or wrapping his hands around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“Just chatting!” you’d laugh, but there was something deeper in his eyes, a flicker of jealousy that made your stomach twist with both excitement and confusion.

As the weeks progressed, you found yourself caught in a whirlwind of emotions, trying to decipher the layers of Jake that were unfolding before you. Each small change, each interaction seemed to pull you deeper into a storm of feelings you weren’t sure how to navigate.

𓃦

As the semester rolled on, more instances of Jake's behavior began to pile up, each one both endearing and perplexing. You often found yourself caught off guard by the small things he did, but they all hinted at a change in your relationship dynamics.

One chilly afternoon, you were waiting outside your art class when you spotted a group of guys laughing and joking nearby. You knew them from a few classes, and they were friendly enough, so you struck up a conversation with them while you waited for Jake. As you laughed at one of their jokes, you suddenly felt a presence behind you. You turned to see Jake standing there, arms crossed, a frown etched across his face.

“Everything okay?” he asked, his tone slightly guarded.

“Yeah, we were just talking,” you replied, a little confused by his sudden seriousness.

“Right,” he said, but you could tell he wasn’t entirely convinced. He shifted closer, placing himself between you and the other guys, a protective wall. It felt both amusing and oddly comforting, like he was silently claiming his territory.

Then there was the day you decided to join a study group for a particularly challenging class. You were excited to meet new people and tackle the material together. When Jake found out, he raised an eyebrow. “You’re sure you want to do that? What if they’re not nice?”

“Jake, they’re just a group of classmates. It’s fine,” you reassured him, but there was a flicker of concern in his eyes. “I’ll be okay.”

“Okay, but if they give you any trouble, you let me know,” he said firmly, his expression softening as he added, “I don’t want anyone messing with you.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at how protective he had become. “I promise, I’ll call you if there’s a problem.”

During one of your late-night study sessions at the library, you noticed a few guys at the table across from you trying to get your attention, making silly faces and cracking jokes. You rolled your eyes and focused on your work, but it didn’t go unnoticed by Jake, who was sitting beside you.

He had been quiet for most of the evening, but as the teasing escalated, you felt him tense beside you. Suddenly, he stood up, stretching out as if he were getting ready to leave. “Hey, I need to grab something from my bag,” he said, but you could see the determination in his eyes.

As he walked over to the other table, you felt a wave of confusion wash over you. You watched him lean over and say something to the guys, who immediately straightened up, looking taken aback. You couldn’t hear what he said, but you could see their faces drop, and they quickly turned their attention back to their own work.

When he returned to you, he sat down with a satisfied smile, as if he had just completed some important mission. “You okay?” you asked, trying to keep the laughter out of your voice.

“Yeah, just thought I’d remind them to keep it down,” he said casually, but you could tell there was more behind it.

“Thanks, I guess?” you replied, shaking your head in disbelief. “But you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know,” he said, a hint of defensiveness creeping into his voice. “But I didn’t like the way they were looking at you.”

Another instance that stood out was during a group project for one of your classes. You were paired with a few other students, including a guy named Alex who seemed to take a particular interest in you. Jake, who had been working quietly at the other end of the table, suddenly cleared his throat, drawing attention back to himself.

“Hey, can you help me with this part of the project?” he called out, shooting you a look that practically screamed “rescue me.” You couldn’t help but smile, recognizing his attempt to reclaim your attention.

“Sure, what do you need?” you replied, eager to help him out.

As you leaned over to see his notes, you felt Jake’s knee bump against yours, and he shifted closer, as if to shield you from the rest of the group. You caught Alex’s curious gaze and felt a mix of amusement as Jake shot him a pointed look that said, “Back off.”

But it was during one of your routine coffee runs that his behavior really hit home. You had both decided to take a break between classes and popped into a nearby café. As you waited for your drinks, you noticed a girl from your sociology class come up to Jake, smiling brightly as she engaged him in conversation.

You watched as Jake’s demeanor shifted. He went from being relaxed to immediately on guard. He answered her questions politely, but you could see the way his shoulders tensed and how his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

When she asked if he wanted to join her table, he glanced at you before shaking his head. “Nah, I’m good. I’m here with my friend,” he said, motioning towards you.

As soon as she left, he turned to you, an exasperated look on his face. “I don’t know what it is, but something about her just rubs me the wrong way.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his overprotectiveness. “Jake, she’s just being friendly!”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to take any chances,” he said firmly, crossing his arms again.

Each of these instances piled on top of one another, weaving a complicated tapestry of feelings that left you questioning the nature of your friendship. Jake’s protective instincts made your heart race, igniting a spark of something deeper that you couldn’t quite define. The way he cared for you made you feel special, but the intensity of it all left you wondering where the lines between friendship and something more began to blur.

𓃦

One evening, as you were lounging in your room, scrolling through social media, a message from Hyerin popped up on your screen. “Hey, you need to check the news,” she wrote, and your curiosity was piqued. Clicking on the link she sent, you were met with a local news report that sent a shiver down your spine.

According to the report, several residents had reported hearing loud howls echoing from the nearby forest at night. Some claimed to have even spotted a large creature lurking at the outskirts of town—something that resembled a wolf, but much larger. The local authorities had dismissed the reports, attributing the sounds to normal wildlife, but the article featured alarming witness accounts that painted a more sinister picture.

You felt a rush of adrenaline mixed with unease. The thought of a creature prowling just outside your town was thrilling and terrifying at the same time. You quickly typed out a message to Jake, sharing what you had found.

“Did you see this? There are reports of howls coming from the forest, and people say they saw a giant wolf!”

His reply came almost instantly. “It’s probably just a normal wolf, nothing to worry about,” he typed back casually, as if the news was nothing more than a minor inconvenience.

But you weren’t convinced. The stories echoed in your mind, and a sense of adventure began to bubble up within you. You felt the urge to explore, to see for yourself what was going on in those woods. The idea sent your heart racing, but you hesitated. You knew Jake would be against it if he knew, and you didn’t want to worry him.

After a quick glance at the clock, you grabbed a flashlight, bundled up in a warm jacket, and slipped out of your dorm room. The night air was crisp, and the stars shone brightly overhead as you made your way toward the edge of the forest. With each step, the excitement mingled with a hint of fear, but you pushed it aside, determined to uncover the truth for yourself.

As you approached the tree line, you could hear the rustling leaves and the distant sounds of the night, but your resolve remained firm. The forest loomed before you, shadows dancing between the trees. You took a deep breath, reminding yourself that it was just a hike, just a bit of exploration.

You ventured deeper into the woods, the beam of your flashlight cutting through the darkness. You moved quietly, listening intently for any sounds that might confirm the rumors. As you walked, your imagination ran wild. What if there really was a creature lurking in the shadows? What if you stumbled upon something extraordinary?

But as the minutes passed, the forest seemed eerily still. You stopped occasionally to listen, straining to catch any sound, but all you heard was the faint rustling of leaves. After a while, doubt began to creep in. Was this a fool’s errand? Were you just chasing a ghost story?

Just when you were about to turn back, a loud howl pierced the night air, echoing through the trees. Your heart raced, and you froze in place, eyes wide as you turned toward the sound. It was unmistakable—a chilling howl that seemed to resonate from deep within the forest.

A rush of adrenaline coursed through you, and instinctively, you stepped further into the shadows, driven by curiosity. You followed the sound, drawn deeper into the woods. Each step felt like a leap into the unknown, but you couldn’t turn back now.

Just then, your phone buzzed in your pocket. It was a text from Jake: “Where are you? You’re not out there, are you?”

Your heart skipped a beat. The worry in his text was there. You hesitated, debating whether to respond. He wouldn’t understand your need to explore, your desire to see if the stories were true. But you didn’t want to worry him unnecessarily.

“Just out for a walk,” you typed back, keeping it vague. You silenced your phone and tucked it away, pushing on into the dark.

With every howl that echoed through the trees, your fear grew. What would you find in the heart of the forest? Would you encounter whatever creature was rumored to roam these woods?

But deep down, a small part of you wondered if you should have listened to Jake, if maybe it was better to stay safe at home instead of chasing shadows.

𓃦

Jake’s heart raced as he read your message, panic setting in. “Just out for a walk.” Those words echoed in his mind, mixing with the chilling howls that pierced the night air. He felt a wave of urgency wash over him, and without thinking twice, he leaped from his chair, pulling aside his curtains to reveal the moonlit night outside.

The silvery glow bathed him in light, and he clenched his fists in the fabric of the curtains, fighting against the instinct to leap into action. He could hear it clearly now—the haunting howls from the forest calling out to him, echoing through the stillness of the night. The sounds tugged at something deep inside him, a urge that he could no longer ignore.

With a final groan of frustration, he dashed out of his room. He sprinted down the stairs, adrenaline pumping through his veins as he burst through the front door and into the night. The air was cool against his skin, but he barely noticed, his focus zeroed in on the forest where you had ventured.

Something deep within him stirred, a deep-seated calling that urged him to heed the instinct to protect and defend. The weight of the moon hung heavy in the sky, and as he ran, he could feel the change beginning to take hold. His body was alive with energy, crackling under the moonlight as it beckoned him to transform.

As he neared the edge of the forest, he stumbled momentarily, the first wave of transformation coursing through him. Pain and exhilaration intertwined as his muscles began to stretch and contort beneath his skin. He gasped, the sensation overwhelming him as his bones shifted and restructured, the very essence of his being reshaping itself under the moon's watchful gaze.

The first change came to his face. His jaw elongated, teeth sharpening as a low growl escaped his lips, mixing with the howls echoing from the forest. The ground beneath him felt closer as his spine curved and reshaped, forcing him down onto all fours. He gritted his teeth against the pain, feeling his senses heighten further—each scent more vivid, every sound clearer.

His skin tingled as the transformation progressed, a strange sensation as he felt his human form shed like an old coat. Fur erupted across his body, dark and thick, a protective layer that replaced the skin he had known. He felt bigger, more powerful, muscles rippling under his new pelt, gaining strength with each passing moment. The world shifted around him as his vision sharpened, hues of colors blooming before him in vibrant clarity.

He could feel the ground beneath him, cool and firm, and the smell of the earth was intoxicating. The forest called to him, the trees whispering secrets only he could understand. As he dropped fully onto all fours, his new claws dug into the soil, grounding him in this new form. Jake howled into the night, a sound that reverberated through the forest.

With a final surge of power, he bounded forward into the woods, his senses alive and alert. Each footfall was lighter, quicker, as he raced through the trees, branches whipping past him in a blur.

The howls continued, a symphony of sound that guided him closer to you, his mind focused solely on your safety.

𓃦

At this point the thrill of exploration slowly began to ebb, replaced by an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach. The howls had become louder, echoing through the trees with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. You gripped the flashlight tightly, shining it around, desperately searching for anything out of the ordinary.

But then, in the distance, you spotted them—eyes gleaming in the dark, watching you intently. A chill ran through you as you realized you had wandered too far into their territory. Panic surged as you turned to flee, but the sound of rustling leaves behind you made it clear you were being pursued.

You stumbled into a small clearing, breathless, but the moment you looked back, dread washed over you. A pack of wolves emerged from the shadows, their eyes reflecting the moonlight like tiny stars. They circled you, growling low, their powerful forms tense and poised for action. You felt trapped, your heart racing as they advanced slowly, their jaws snapping in warning.

Desperation surged within you, and you quickly scanned your surroundings. In your panic, you spotted a long stick lying on the ground nearby. Grabbing it, you held it out in front of you, your hands shaking as you attempted to keep the snarling pack at bay.

“Stay back!” you shouted, your voice trembling as you brandished the stick, trying to appear more intimidating than you felt. The wolves paused momentarily, their heads tilting as if considering your resolve. You knew that bluffing wouldn’t hold them off for long; the pack was far more powerful than you could ever hope to be alone.

They growled again, a low rumble that vibrated in your chest, and as they lunged forward, you swung the stick wildly, desperate to fend them off. The closest wolf dodged your swing, its fur brushing against your arm as it darted past. Adrenaline coursed through your veins as you took a step back, trying to gauge their movements.

“Get away from me!” you yelled, your voice echoing in the stillness of the forest. But they were undeterred, their eyes locked on you, the alpha leading the charge as the others flanked it, their growls growing more intense.

You couldn’t let fear take over. You swung the stick again, aiming for the lead wolf. It snarled and snapped, but you managed to land a glancing blow against its shoulder, causing it to yelp and momentarily back off. But the other wolves seemed emboldened by its pain, their growls intensifying as they began to close in.

You backed away, your mind racing. You needed a way out. Just as the wolves lunged again, you heard a powerful howl pierce the night, echoing through the trees and causing the pack to hesitate.

Suddenly, a massive form leaped out from the shadows of the trees, a silhouette framed against the moonlight. The huge wolf landed gracefully in front of you. You stood frozen, your breath catching in your throat as you took in the size of the creature. Its fur was dark and sleek, rippling with muscle.

The wolves seemed to pause, studying the bigger wolf, their growls wavering as they assessed this new threat. Before you could fully process what was happening, one of the smaller wolves lunged at the big one, teeth bared and claws extended. But with a swift, graceful movement, the larger wolf sidestepped the attack and retaliated, raking its claws across the attacking wolf's side. The smaller wolf yelped in surprise and pain, tumbling backward into the underbrush.

More snarls erupted from the pack as they charged in tandem, but the massive wolf stood its ground, fighting valiantly. It was a whirlwind of fur and fangs, gracefully avoiding bites while delivering powerful blows to any wolf that dared to get too close. You watched in awe, feeling a mix of admiration and terror as the larger wolf defended you with ferocity, every growl reverberating in your chest.

Just as one of the wolves bit down on the big creature's front leg, you felt a surge of panic. It clawed and snapped, trying to gain the upper hand, but the larger wolf retaliated with a deep, rumbling growl, shaking off the smaller wolf like an annoyance. With each strike, the pack began to falter, sensing they were no match for the sheer power and tenacity of their adversary.

The battle raged for a few intense moments, the sounds of snarling and growling echoing around you, until, finally, the remaining wolves began to back off, realizing they were outmatched. With one last menacing snarl, the pack retreated into the shadows of the forest, leaving behind only the echoes of their howls and the fading rustle of leaves.

You stood there, your heart racing, watching as the larger wolf turned its attention to you. Its yellow eyes locked onto yours, and for a fleeting moment, you felt a connection that was both surreal and profound. You tilted your head, curiosity bubbling within you, and the wolf mirrored your gesture, tilting its head in return.

But then, your gaze shifted, and you spotted the blood trickling from a wound on the wolf’s front leg. Concern flooded through you, and without thinking, you reached out a hand, wanting to help this magnificent creature that had protected you so fiercely. But the wolf recoiled, stepping back from your outstretched fingers, its posture shifting to one of alertness.

With a powerful howl that shook your entire body, it filled the night with a resonant sound that seemed to resonate in your bones—a call to the wild, a statement of presence. And just like that, it turned and dashed back into the dark depths of the forest, vanishing into the shadows as swiftly as it had arrived.

You were left standing there, heart pounding, your breath coming in ragged gasps. The adrenaline of the encounter coursed through your veins, mingling with the confusion of what had just transpired.

What had just happened? Who—or what—was that wolf?

𓃦

The next day at university, the atmosphere buzzed with excitement and whispers. As you walked through the crowded halls, snippets of conversation floated around you, each more curious than the last.

“Did you hear the howls last night?” one student remarked, eyes wide with intrigue.

“I thought it was just a dog or something, but it sounded so… different,” another chimed in.

You felt a flutter of unease at the memory of your encounter in the forest, but you brushed it off, focusing on the bustling energy of campus life. Classes went by in a blur, your mind wandering back to the massive wolf and the bond you felt in that fleeting moment. You needed to talk to Jake about it, to share your thoughts and worries, to find some sense of normalcy again.

As you made your way to your usual meeting spot, you spotted him leaning against a wall, chatting with a couple of his friends. He looked as handsome as ever, his dark hair falling just above his eyes, a smile gracing his lips as he joked with them. But there was something else there, a tension that you couldn’t quite place.

You approached him, a smile breaking on your face. “Hey, Jake! Did you hear what everyone’s talking about?”

“Yeah,” he replied, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Seems like everyone’s a wolf expert now.”

You laughed, trying to keep the mood light. “Right?”

Before Jake could respond, one of his friends, Sam, came up and playfully hit him on the shoulder. “Hey, man! You up for some football practice after school?”

At the friendly jab, Jake flinched, a brief flash of pain crossing his face before he quickly masked it with a grin. “Yeah, sure. I’m in,” he replied, but you could see the tension in his shoulders, how his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

You felt a twinge of concern but decided against bringing it up. Instead, you played along, joining in on the lighthearted banter, though your mind kept drifting back to the moment from the day before. Why had he reacted that way? Was he hurt?

As the conversation continued, you observed Jake closely, noting how he seemed to stiffen when Sam clapped him on the back and how he carefully shifted his weight as if trying to alleviate discomfort.

Concern gnawed at you, but you decided to give him some space, figuring he might need time to deal with whatever was bothering him on his own.

You left him with his friends, offering a quick smile and a wave before heading off to your next class. Throughout the day, you kept your distance, hoping he would take the opportunity to rest or confide in someone else if he needed to. But it seemed your efforts were in vain.

Jake sought you out during school, showing up in places he normally wouldn’t. During lunch, you had decided to sit outside in a secluded corner of the campus, enjoying the quiet and fresh air. Just as you were getting comfortable, you heard footsteps approaching. You looked up to see Jake walking toward you, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Hey,” he said, plopping down beside you. “What are you doing all the way out here?”

You couldn’t help but smile back, though your concern for him lingered. “Just wanted some fresh air. What about you?”

He shrugged, leaning back on his hands. “Wanted to see how you were doing.”

You nodded, deciding not to press him on.

The two of you chatted casually, the conversation flowing easily as it always did. Despite your intention to give him space, he seemed to seek out your company more than ever.

After school, you decided to stop by a small café on the edge of town, a place you rarely visited. You thought you’d have some time to yourself, to process everything that had been happening. But as you were sipping your coffee and flipping through a book, you felt a familiar presence. Looking up, you saw Jake standing in the doorway, scanning the room until his eyes landed on you.

“There you are,” he said, walking over and sliding into the seat across from you. “I was looking for you.”

You raised an eyebrow, surprised. “Here? How did you know I’d be here?”

He shrugged again, a sheepish grin spreading across his face. “Lucky guess, I guess.”

𓃦

The quiet hum of the evening filled the room as you and Jake worked on homework together at his house, papers and textbooks scattered around you. The familiar scent of his room, the soft music playing in the background, and the comfortable silence between you two felt like old times.

But then, as Jake reached out for his notebook, you caught a brief flash of pain in his expression. His jaw tightened, and his hand faltered just slightly before he pulled it back. The small moment didn’t escape you; you could see something was bothering him, more than just physical discomfort.

“Jake,” you said softly, breaking the silence, “are you… okay? You look like you’re hurting.”

He looked up, caught off guard, and quickly brushed it off, frowning. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“Jake,” you pressed, feeling your worry bubble over. “I’ve known you long enough to tell when something’s wrong. Please… just talk to me.”

His eyes flashed with a hint of irritation. “I already told you, I’m fine. You don’t need to keep worrying about me.”

“I care about you, Jake,” you replied, frustration seeping into your tone. “It’s not like I can just turn that off when I can see you’re in pain.”

He clenched his jaw, looking away. “You always do this, you know? Acting like you’re supposed to fix everything for me.”

Your breath caught at the sharpness of his words, and you felt your heart crack just a little. “I’m just trying to be there for you, Jake. Isn’t that what friends do?”

His eyes met yours, but instead of softening, they grew colder. “Maybe that’s the problem,” he said quietly. “Maybe I don’t need you trying to solve all my problems.”

You sat back, stunned. His words felt like a punch to the chest, knocking the wind out of you. “I didn’t realize… that’s how you saw it,” you whispered, your voice wavering. Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes as you grabbed your books and notebooks, your heart pounding with hurt and anger. “Fine, Jake. I get it.”

“Wait—” His hand reached out for you, panic flashing in his eyes, but you pulled away before he could touch you. You didn’t want to hear his apologies, didn’t want him to see the tears that were already beginning to slip down your cheeks.

You bolted for the door, your vision blurry as you forced yourself not to look back. Jake called your name, his voice tinged with desperation, but you didn’t stop. You stepped out into the night, your heart breaking with each step. You didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to hear him apologize for something that had already cut too deep.

Lost in thought, you hadn’t realized where your feet had taken you until you looked up and found yourself standing at the edge of the forest. The sun had dipped lower in the sky, casting a warm, fading glow over the trees as the shadows lengthened, creeping out toward you.

You sighed, staring into the darkness that stretched ahead. Your day had been ruined—by Jake, of all people. Jake, your best friend. The one you trusted, the one you cared about… the one you loved, even if you hadn’t ever admitted it out loud. You knew he didn’t mean what he’d said, deep down. You’d seen the look of regret in his eyes as you’d left, and you could imagine he was probably beating himself up over it even now.

Still, the words stung, and the distance between you now felt unbearably real. Maybe, you thought, you’d just give him a few days to cool off, let things settle. And hopefully, like always, it would be okay again.

For now, though, you needed space—a place to clear your mind. You took a few steps into the forest, staying close to the edge but just far enough in to feel the peace of nature wrapping around you.

You kept your steps light, careful not to venture too deep; the last thing you wanted was to accidentally wander into wolf territory. Even the memory of last night’s encounter sent a shiver through you, though you pushed it aside. The forest was peaceful enough, and it wasn’t long before the tension in your shoulders began to ease, your breathing slowing as you took in the fresh air.

But, as you ventured just a little further, a strange feeling crept over you—a prickling awareness, like you were being watched. You turned slowly, peering back the way you came, but saw nothing beyond the dim light filtering through the trees.

"Probably just my imagination," you murmured to yourself, hugging your arms against the chill that had suddenly settled over you. The forest felt heavier now, somehow… like a place holding its breath, waiting.

As you took a deep breath to steady yourself, a low, menacing growl echoed from behind the trees. You froze, your heart racing as you slowly turned to find a lone wolf stalking toward you, its fur matted and eyes gleaming with a wild, hostile glint. The wolf’s coat was streaked with dirt, and you could see small wounds marring its side and face—scratches and cuts that looked fresh, as if it had recently fought for its life.

You held your breath, hoping it might lose interest if you stayed still, but it took a step closer, teeth bared and eyes locked onto you with a predatory intensity. The wounded creature seemed to be caught between fight and flight, each shallow breath a reminder of its pain and anger.

Your mind raced, frantically searching for what little you knew about wild animals. Don’t run. Stay calm. Don’t look it directly in the eyes. But it was hard to keep your gaze from the wolf as it crept forward, snarling, its muscles tensing as if ready to lunge.

You raised your hands slowly, trying to look as non-threatening as possible, your voice barely a whisper. “Hey… it’s okay. I’m not here to hurt you.”

The wolf didn’t seem to care. Its eyes narrowed, lips curling back further as it let out another snarl, the sound raw and desperate. You took a tentative step back, your heart pounding, the weight of the forest closing in around you.

The lone wolf’s snarl grew fiercer as it sized you up, its gaze fixed and threatening. You took another cautious step back, your pulse racing with fear and adrenaline, when, out of nowhere, a massive shadow streaked through the trees. The large wolf from last night leaped between you and the lone wolf, teeth bared in a fierce snarl.

What followed was a brutal clash—snarls and growls tore through the forest as the two wolves fought. They snapped and lunged, claws and teeth colliding in a flurry of movement. The lone wolf yelped, wounded and humiliated, and staggered back, casting a resentful glance at you before limping off into the trees, bloodied and beaten.

In the sudden silence, the larger wolf turned toward you, breath heaving, blood and saliva dripping from its bared teeth and maw. Its eyes were wild, gleaming yellow and intense, locked onto you. You froze, swallowing hard as it took a single step closer.

But something within you stopped you from backing away this time. You took a steady breath, raising your hand slightly. “Hey, it’s okay,” you whispered, your voice soft but steady. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

The wolf’s intense gaze softened, its body visibly relaxing as it crept closer. It lowered its head, breathing heavily, and your pulse quickened as its warm breath washed over you, its massive frame towering above. Just when you thought you might be out of luck, it gave a strange, almost playful yip, leaning forward and swiping its tongue from your stomach up to your chin in a single, sticky lick.

You cringed, wiping your face. “Ew, oh my god.” The wolf leapt back, its eyes seeming almost… amused, as if it had understood your reaction. It started to bounce around in a way that almost looked like playfulness, pawing at the ground and glancing back up at you, the wildness in its gaze replaced by a warmth, an odd spark of familiarity. You stared, studying its eyes—they looked so human, so gentle.

You tilted your head as the big wolf came around, its presence both powerful and strangely comforting. It nudged your hand, its head pressing softly against your palm, and you hesitated before slowly reaching out, letting your fingers sink into its thick fur. The wolf let out a low rumble, leaning into your touch, its eyes closing as it nuzzled closer.

Then, with a quiet huff, the wolf rolled over, exposing its stomach. You couldn’t help but smile, realizing it wanted you to rub its belly like some kind of overgrown dog. As your fingers brushed through its fur, something caught your attention—a small scrap of fabric caught near its shoulder. You reached over, fingers tugging it free, only to stare in shock at the familiar material between your fingers.

It was a piece of Jake’s jacket.

You froze, your eyes darting from the scrap of fabric to the wolf’s face. The wolf’s gaze met yours, and you saw something there, a flicker of emotion that wasn’t just animal instinct.

“Jake?” you whispered, voice barely audible.

The wolf let out a soft, almost pitiful whine, its ears flattening as it looked down, its expression suddenly filled with shame. Your heart raced as the realization sunk in fully. This creature, this powerful wolf who had saved you—it was Jake.

You knelt beside him, reaching out slowly, your hand hovering before you let it rest gently on his head. “It really is you, isn’t it?” you murmured, the shock of it all making your voice tremble. The wolf closed his eyes, leaning into your hand, the shame melting away for a moment as he accepted your touch.

You stayed there, your hand resting on his head, letting the surreal reality sink in. Jake—the Jake who’d grown up beside you, who teased you endlessly and made you laugh, who’d been distant and guarded since his trip abroad—was here in front of you as a massive, powerful wolf. A whirlwind of emotions washed over you: shock, worry, relief, even an odd sense of awe. But above all, there was something oddly comforting in the way he leaned into your hand, his massive frame somehow still familiar despite his transformation.

The wolf let out another low whine, his eyes searching yours, as if trying to communicate what words could never convey. Gently, you moved your hand from his head, resting it against his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath thick fur. He was still Jake. Somewhere beneath the wild exterior was your best friend, the person you cared about deeply.

Without saying a word, you sank down beside him, and he curled around you protectively, his body a warm, solid presence in the cool forest.

After a while, Jake moved, his head nudging your hand again, almost in a comforting gesture. And then, with a soft huff, he pressed his nose to your cheek, his eyes softer than you’d ever seen them.

“Jake…” you whispered again, feeling a lump form in your throat. “You don’t have to hide this from me. I’m here. I’ll help you, no matter what.”

The wolf met your gaze, his eyes shining with an emotion so raw and vulnerable it made your heart ache. He stepped closer, his gaze steady and intent, before letting his head rest on your shoulder, leaning into you as if accepting that promise.

As you stayed there, holding onto the warmth and strength he offered, you understood: whatever had changed Jake, whatever he had gone through, it hadn’t taken away the person he was. And you’d be there with him, every step of the way.

𓃦

The quiet of the house felt almost fragile as you tiptoed your way to your room, Jake trailing closely behind. Sneaking a full-sized wolf inside wasn’t exactly easy, especially with a few close calls as you both bumped into things along the way. You held your breath every time something clattered, tensing and listening for any sounds of your family stirring. But, to your relief, the house remained silent.

Finally, you managed to usher Jake into your room, closing the door quietly and locking it for good measure. When you turned around, you found him standing by the window, his large frame silhouetted by the pale moonlight. His eyes were fixed on the full moon, an otherworldly shine glinting in them as he let out a low, almost trance-like whimper. His head tilted back, as if instinctively drawn to the sight, a soft howl rising in his throat.

You quickly slipped past him, tugging the curtains closed and pressing a finger to your lips. “Shhh,” you whispered, and Jake quieted, lowering his head, though his gaze remained on the closed curtains for a long moment as he reluctantly turned away.

“Stay here, okay? I’ll be right back,” you murmured, slipping into the bathroom to change. When you returned, you saw him sprawled out by your bed, his head and front paws resting on your mattress while his hind legs remained on the floor. He looked surprisingly at ease, a bit of his usual calm replacing the restless energy that had him fixated on the moon moments earlier.

You rolled your eyes and let out a small groan, clambering into bed beside him, his massive head just inches from yours. Even as a wolf, Jake managed to take up far more space than should’ve been possible.

As you lay there, his warm breath against your skin, you could feel your nerves beginning to settle. Slowly, you reached out, your hand moving to rest on his head, fingers tangling in the fur at his ears. His tail gave a slow, contented thump against the floor, a quiet thank-you in his own way.

When you drifted off, Jake stayed still, his eyes fixed on your peaceful form beside him. The soft rise and fall of your breath, the way your hand had relaxed against his fur, all held his gaze, grounding him in a way he hadn’t expected. Even with the strange pull of the moon, the wild energy simmering under his skin, being here beside you made him feel…normal. Like he could set aside the instincts and chaos, if only for a little while.

He watched the way a small smile played across your lips, almost as if even in sleep, you knew he was there. His head tilted slightly, and he let out a soft exhale, careful not to disturb you. In his wolf form, he couldn’t say what he felt, couldn’t explain the relief that flooded him at seeing you safe and sound after the danger in the woods.

His ears flicked toward the window, catching the distant sounds of the night, the rustle of branches, the faint whisper of the wind. Normally, his senses would pull him toward every little sound, every flicker of movement, but not tonight. Tonight, they all faded into the background as his gaze lingered on you, steady and unwavering.

Eventually, with a gentle rumble that sounded almost like a sigh, he lowered his head beside you, his eyes closing slowly, only allowing himself to rest once he was sure you were deeply asleep. Though he knew the morning would bring questions he wasn’t sure he could answer.

𓃦

You jolted awake, your eyes snapping open to the unexpected sensation of warm, familiar arms wrapped around you. The soft fabric of your sheets clung to your skin, but it was the figure beside you that made your heart race. Turning your head, you were met with the sight of Jake—human Jake—curled into your side, shirtless, his messy hair falling over his forehead. For a split second, your mind raced with confusion before realization hit.

“Jake!” you screamed, and before you could process the panic in your voice, he bolted upright, his eyes wide with shock. In his haste, he miscalculated his position and tumbled off the side of your bed, landing in an undignified heap on the floor with a loud thud. “Whoa!” he yelped, a look of sheer bewilderment on his face. You could barely contain your laughter at the sight—his expression, a mix of shock and embarrassment, made it all the more amusing.

“Oh my god, you should see your face!” you said, trying to catch your breath as you leaned over the side of the bed to see him sprawled out, looking both flustered and slightly embarrassed.

“Okay, okay! Not funny!” Jake huffed, shooting you a mock glare as he scrambled to his feet. The flush creeping across his cheeks only made you laugh harder.

As you got up and made your way to the bathroom, you heard him rummaging around in your closet. When you returned, he had managed to find some extra clothes—an oversized T-shirt that hung loosely on his frame and a pair of sweatpants that made him look even more comfortable. He glanced at you, a sheepish smile breaking through the earlier embarrassment. “Hope this is okay,” he said, his voice slightly shy.

“Looks good on you,” you replied, giving him a playful nudge as you both made your way downstairs.

To your relief, the house was quiet—your family members had left for the day. You went into the kitchen, and together, you began preparing breakfast. The morning sunlight streamed through the windows, casting a warm glow over everything as you and Jake worked side by side.

He cracked a few eggs into the pan while you sliced some fruit, and the comfortable silence between you both was laced with the occasional teasing remark about your culinary skills—or lack thereof.

After breakfast, you settled into the living room, the cozy couch inviting you both to sink into its cushions. Jake stretched out, leaning back with a relaxed sigh, while you curled up beside him, pulling a blanket over your legs.

“So,” you said, looking at him, “about last night…”

Jake turned his head toward you, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features, but before he could respond, you continued, “I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything. You… you really are a wolf.”

He nodded, his expression serious now. “I know it sounds crazy, but there’s a lot more to it than just the transformation.”

You could sense the weight behind his words, the implications of what he was saying. It was clear that whatever had happened, he was still processing it himself. “You can tell me when you’re ready, Jake,” you said gently, offering him a reassuring smile. “I’m here for you.”

Jake took a deep breath, the weight of his confession hanging in the air. You could see the vulnerability in his eyes as he gathered his thoughts. “During my vacation,” he began, his voice steady yet tinged with the remnants of anxiety, “I went for a jog one night. I thought I saw a stray dog lurking in the shadows.” He paused, his expression darkening as if the memory was a physical burden.

“It wasn’t just any dog. It was a wolf,” he continued, shaking his head slightly as if trying to shake off the gravity of the moment. “I didn’t realize until it was too late. It lunged at me, and I felt this sharp pain. I didn’t think much of it at first; I just brushed it off. But then, I got really sick. I spent days locked in my hotel room, feeling like I was losing my mind.” He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands clasped together as he searched your eyes for understanding.

You remained silent, letting him speak, the pieces of the puzzle starting to fit together. “When the full moon came,” he went on, his voice dropping to a whisper, “that’s when everything changed. I transformed.” His eyes flicked to the floor, the weight of his words heavy. “When I woke up, I was in my hotel room, and I had no idea what had happened. I just knew I felt… different. My body was stronger, more aware, but I didn’t understand why. It was like I was… a stranger in my own body. I would feel a need to transform again, to run, to let out whatever this thing is inside me.”

“I called you because I needed to hear your voice,” he admitted, his eyes locking onto yours, filled with sincerity. “But when I got back, I realized something. The moment I saw you, all those instincts— the wild urges, the confusion— it all calmed down. Just being around you made it easier to breathe. But when you aren’t here, the need to transform is overwhelming. I don’t really remember much of what happens when I go under, just flashes of darkness. But when you’re with me… it’s like I come back to myself. I can control it.”

You swallowed hard, heart racing at the implications of his words.

He sat up a little straighter, “When I shouted at you… I didn’t mean it,” he began, sincerity in his voice. “I was confused. Everything I felt for you clashed with what was happening to me. This thing inside was overwhelming, and I was terrified. Terrified of losing control, of hurting you.” His voice trembled slightly, the raw honesty making your heart ache for him.

You opened your mouth to respond, shock flooding through you at his admission, but the words caught in your throat. Instead, you could only gaze at him, wide-eyed and taken aback. “Jake… I—”

He rushed on, misreading your shock as rejection. “I mean, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way,” he stammered, panic rising in his voice. “You don’t have to like me back. I get it. I’m a mess right now, and it’s not fair to put that on you. I just—”

Before he could spiral further into his own uncertainty, you lunged forward, tackling him gently to the couch. Your lips found his in a swift, urgent kiss, silencing his rambling. The kiss was like a balm to both your hearts. Jake’s surprise quickly melted into warmth as he kissed you back, his hands finding their way to your waist, holding you close.

When you finally pulled back, breathless, you looked into his eyes, searching for something—assurance, maybe, or confirmation.

“Jake,” you breathed, your heart racing. “I love you too.”

His eyes widened in disbelief, a grin slowly breaking across his face. “You… you really mean it?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he feared that saying it out loud might make it disappear.

You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. “I’ve liked you for a long time, even before all this happened,” you admitted, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. “I was just too scared to say anything.”

“God, I thought I was going crazy,” he chuckled, the tension melting away as he pulled you in for another kiss. He held you close, as if you were the anchor he’d needed to find his way back to himself.

His hands rested firmly on your waist, grounding you in a way you hadn’t realized you desperately needed. You could feel the gentle roughness of his fingers, each touch sending a soft flutter through your heart.

You slipped your hands to his cheeks, your thumb brushing lightly over his skin, feeling the slight stubble that had begun to grow. It felt intimate and electric, as if every lingering doubt and worry from before melted away with each gentle caress.

When you finally pulled away, breathless and smiling, you both stayed close, your foreheads pressed together. Relief washed over you, like a wave sweeping away the remnants of confusion and fear. There were no more secrets, just the two of you, open and honest.

With a soft chuckle, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a warm embrace. Jake melted into the hug, his strong arms encircling you tightly. The moment felt right, like coming home after a long journey. You could feel his heartbeat steadying against yours, matching your own rhythm.

“I’m so glad we finally talked about this,” you murmured into his shoulder, inhaling the familiar scent of him that made you feel safe. “I was worried about how you felt.”

“Me too,” he confessed, his voice muffled against your hair. “I was scared I’d mess everything up. But now, it feels like… like I can breathe again.” He pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes, his expression earnest. “You have no idea how much you mean to me.”

You smiled softly, your heart swelling at his words. “I do now,” you replied, warmth flooding through you.

As Jake pulled you in for another kiss, the world around you faded away once more, enveloping you in the warmth of his embrace. His lips moved against yours with a hunger that sent shivers down your spine, and you surrendered to the moment, feeling every worry slip away. Yet, beneath the sweet intimacy, you began to notice something different—deep, low rumbles emanating from his chest, vibrating against your body.

Curiosity tugged at you, and you tried to pull back slightly to gauge what was happening, to make sure he was okay. “Jake?” you murmured, but he didn’t let you go. Instead, he tightened his grip on your waist and pulled you back into the kiss, deepening it with an intensity that made your heart race.

But then you felt something sharp graze against your lip. You gasped and pulled back, eyes wide. His canines had elongated slightly, pressing against your skin. Your heart pounded as you looked at him, noticing how his form seemed to swell beneath you, muscles shifting and growing larger as he transformed.

“Jake!” you exclaimed, your voice filled with concern as you took in the sight before you. His hair had grown fluffier, tousled and wild, and his eyes glowed a striking yellow, reflecting the light with an otherworldly sheen, you could see the subtle signs of his transformation taking hold.

He looked at you, panting softly, his breaths coming in heavy, almost desperate gasps. You could feel the tension in his body, the way he fought to control the change happening within him. “Jake, you need to stop,” you urged, trying to maintain a calmness you didn’t entirely feel. “You’re—”

But before you could finish, he whined softly, his expression pleading as he pulled you back into a kiss, the warmth of his body overwhelming you. Despite the rush of emotions, you could sense the struggle in him—the way he wanted to hold onto you, to keep you close, even as the wolf inside threatened to take over.

Your heart raced, and panic bubbled within you. “Jake, please!” you gasped against his lips, desperately trying to catch your breath. “I don’t want to lose you to this.”

He paused, his eyes searching yours, filled with a mix of longing and confusion. For a moment, it felt as if the connection between you was all that tethered him to his human side. “You won’t lose me,” he promised, his voice barely a whisper, yet it carried a conviction that soothed the fear clawing at your chest.

You swallowed hard, your gaze steady on his. “We can face this together. Just… don’t let it take control, okay?”

Jake nodded, his gaze softening as he leaned in closer, the distance between you two disappearing. The rumble in his chest quieted, and you could see the flicker of the boy you loved shining through the fierce exterior. “I won’t,” he assured, his voice warm and earnest.

As you watched Jake begin to transform, every instinct in you urged you to step back, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away. His body, once solid beneath you, started to shift, muscles rippling under his skin as if they were being pulled by an unseen force. It was both mesmerizing and terrifying.

His back arched slightly, and you could see his spine subtly elongating, each vertebra shifting as his form adjusted to accommodate the changes. The sound of his bones cracking and reforming echoed in your ears, primal and raw, but you didn’t flinch. Instead, you felt a strange sense of awe at the beauty of it all—the way he seemed to be caught between two worlds, the boy you loved and the creature he was destined to become.

His hair thickened, the strands transforming into a soft, plush fur that shimmered in the dim light of your room. You reached out instinctively, fingers brushing against the silky fur, and Jake leaned into your touch, as if it anchored him to his humanity.

His face began to elongate, the jawline widening and reshaping into a more pronounced muzzle. His nose transformed, darkening and broadening, taking on a canine shape. You watched in fascination as his lips curled back, revealing those sharp canines that had grazed your lips moments before.

With each passing second, Jake grew larger, the muscles in his arms and legs expanding, powerful and sinewy. The way he filled out beneath you was a reminder of the strength he possessed. His fingers transformed into powerful paws, claws extending and retracting with a grace that seemed both dangerous and beautiful.

Finally, with a deep, rumbling growl, he shifted onto all fours, the final stage of his transformation complete. His body was now a magnificent wolf, towering and powerful, with a coat that glistened like the night sky. You could hardly believe this majestic creature had once been your best friend, the boy who had made you laugh and smile, who had always been by your side.

As he crouched before you, the wolf’s eyes softened, the wildness within them momentarily quelled by the bond you shared. You reached out again, fingers brushing along his fur, feeling the warmth radiate from his body. The wolf leaned into your touch, letting out a low, deep rumble.

“I love you, Jake,” you said softly, the words spilling out as easily as your breath.

Jake responded with a low whine, his eyes shimmering as he nuzzled closer to you. He licked your hand gently, the roughness of his tongue sending a thrill through you. It was a simple gesture, but it was clear that he understood you.

This was not how you had imagined your life would unfold at all, but it felt undeniably right.

[dambaepuff]

hey hi, could i make a request? Im happy to see another good author starting :) u also seem very nice. could i request a yoongi x preferably fem!reader? if you want you can make it a genderneutral fic. my idea was a scenario were one of them is jealous, i thought of it being her jealous of him, over something stupid, but not in a toxic way like yk just pure jealusy mixed with insecurities. And they have a little petty argument and like it ends with smut i mean they make up to eachother that way :P like smut mixed with fluff at its purest. also, i am really curious to see how u write yoongi, i see many authors making him cold and tough but i believe that he is a very caring softie haha, by the morning wood headcanons, i think you got him very well ;) thank u in advance

REGRETS (m)

Pairing: Idol!Yoongi x FEM!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, smut, one shot, request, established relationship

Warnings: jealousy, insecurities, a petty argument, depictions of sex, crying, emotional, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, bodily fluids, penetration (vaginal), a bit of praise, light biting, squirting

Word count: 5k

Summary: uhhh idk dude just read the request that’s pretty much it

A/N: UGH I LOVE THIS IDEA!! I don’t have much experience with writing angst so this was a really nice exercise. Thank you sooo so much for all the kind words, it’s what keeps me writing. I’m also a sucker for soft Yoongi so this is right up my alley. (Also this is not proofread so lmk if there’s any mistakes or anything)

Thursday night, it’s quiet outside. You’re trying to watch a movie with Yoongi. Key word trying. His hand has been gently rubbing your thigh for a few minutes now, whenever he tries sliding it up to tease you, you grab it and put it back onto his lap. He’s clearly trying to get you heated, but it’s having quite the opposite effect. Lately you’ve felt quite out of it, your lack of confidence causing you to avoid intimacy. With Yoongi being the gentleman he is, he always accepts it when he realizes you’re not in the mood and he moves on. However, you’re starting to doubt his ability to keep going like this. What if he realizes you aren’t satisfactory to him anymore? He could easily find someone else who would be all over him in seconds.

Replaceable. That’s how you’ve been feeling lately. He could have anyone he wants, so why you? “Are you not feeling it tonight?” Yoongi’s voice startles you out of your thoughts. “Huh? Oh. No I’m sorry.” You respond, your voice growing quieter with the end of the sentence. “That’s okay, c’mere.” He mumbles before pulling you into his chest, his hand soothing down your back.

‘Will he stay with me if I keep pushing him away like this?’ Is what you keep asking yourself. On one hand you’re afraid he’ll stop loving you if you stop showing him affection. And on the other hand, you’ve been so self conscious lately about your body and if you’re doing things right you don’t know if it’s worse to ruin the relationship by pushing him away or by not being good enough. ‘Do I even deserve to be with him at this point?’

Friday, 4:37PM. You got off work early today so you decided to stop by Yoongi’s studio. He’s still working so you’re lounging around on one of the couches inside of the room. The two of you had made plans to get dinner together when he finishes up for the day which you’re really looking forward to.

A short blurry figure appears at the studio door, they raise their hand up and place three quiet knocks onto the glass. Yoongi gets up with a huff and opens the door. In front of him stands a familiar woman, you can’t quite remember her name, but you’ve seen her around the company building before.

“Here’s your coffee Suga!” She says in a cheery tone. Her eyes land on you and her smile falls a bit. “Oh, I didn’t know you would be here. Sorry I didn’t get you anything.” She apologizes with a light bow of her head. You dismiss her with a wave of your hand before going back to fidgeting with the hem of your sweater. She turns her attention back to Yoongi who is setting his drink down onto his desk. “Hey Suga, a few of us are going to that barbecue place down the street for dinner and drinks tonight. Do you guys wanna come with?” She asks with a tilt of her head, her long black hair swaying with the movement.

“Uhh, yeah?” He looks at you quickly for confirmation to which you nod your head lightly. “Yeah. Sure we’ll come.”

Yoongi continues chatting with the girl. She casually leans against the door frame, the conversation between them flowing oh so easily. ‘It took me ages to be able to talk to him that smoothly. Why couldn’t I be like her?’ You think to yourself, trying your best to not let your irritation show.

He bids her farewell and sits back down at his desk. For the remaining time you spend in his studio all you can look at is him. Your gaze burns holes into his side profile, tracing each curve of his features over and over again. Why would a man whose heart only knows kindness, whose eyes and soul are so understanding of everything be with you? Your being is rotten with unforgiving bitterness, you seethe at every imperfection like a nun enraged by sin. Why would he want you?

He’s like a wild flower. He needs to be pollinated by the love and kindness of a bee to bloom, yet he stays with you, a caterpillar feeding off of him, biting off his flesh for your gain. Eating away at him and leaving nothing. Maybe you aren’t even a caterpillar. They can eventually turn into a beautiful creature with wings of eyeful colors, yet you can’t become anything more than what you are. You’re stuck in a vicious cycle, devouring every resource without paying any mind to the fact there will be nothing left when you’re done. What does he get for loving you if you can’t be of use? You can’t make him bloom.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N)!” You snap out of your thoughts, the reality around you giving you whiplash. Yoongi is kneeling in front of you, holding your jacket out. “Let’s go, we’ll be late.” You try to take it from his hands, but instead of giving it to you he holds it up so you can slip your arms inside. Once it’s on you he turns you around and zips it up for you. “Okay, let’s go.”

As you’re walking down the long hallways towards the elevators, Yoongi notices something odd. You usually grab onto his hand the moment you start walking somewhere together, but your hand is tucked away in your pocket now. He gently pulls it out and intertwines your fingers together. You can’t bring yourself to grip onto him like usual, instead you limply keep your hand at your side, letting him hold it. He’s a bit confused by this, but nevertheless he keeps holding you, his grasp only growing tighter in an effort to reassure you.

Yang Sunhee. Her name popped up in your head the moment she sat down across from you and Yoongi at the long wooden table. She’s been leading the conversation at your part of the table for a while now, mostly talking to Yoongi. To her credit she has tried to include you into the conversation a few times, but you didn’t really give her much to work with so she gave up.

You’ve been pushing your food around your plate for a while now. It’s mostly pieces of meat Yoongi placed down onto it for you, your favorite in fact. You just can’t get yourself to even place anything into your mouth, anxiety squeezing your throat so tightly you can barely even swallow your own saliva.

Sunhee is laughing at something, her eyes bright and her large smile hidden away behind a polite hand. Yoongi is laughing too, maybe not as hard as her, but he’s still laughing. ‘Why am I not the one making him laugh right now? Am I not funny anymore?’

As you’re glaring down at your food you feel a warm hand make contact with your shoulder. “You wanna go home?” Yoongi asks quietly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “Yes please.” You breathe out, barely audible. On the drive home Yoongi tries asking what’s wrong multiple times, but all he gets in response is a simple “I just don’t feel too well.”

It’s been a few days now since you had dinner with Yoongi’s coworkers. He realized something was wrong so he’s been giving you some space. To be quite honest you aren’t sure if the space is helping or making it worse. After spending the whole day quietly sobbing to yourself in bed you decide to see what he’s up to. You find him sitting in the living room watching some sort of documentary and looking like he’s about to fall asleep. One of his cheeks is squished against a pillow and his hair is going on all the wrong directions. He looks adorable, your heart almost breaks in two knowing this is who you’ve been pushing away lately.

Taking a seat next to him, he lifts up his blanket so you can use it too. Just as you’re getting sleepy as well his phone pings on the coffee table. Instinctively you reach down for it so you can hand it to him, but when you see the contact name annoyance squeezes at your chest.

Yang Sunhee

Sent a message

“Why is she texting you?” The question slips from your mouth before you can even think it through. “I don’t know, let me see.” He responds while extending his hand out for the phone. You peer over at the screen, shamelessly trying to see what she sent. “Ah it’s just the schedule for next week.” He says and likes the message before setting his phone back down. Now you feel a bit guilty. Why were you questioning the intentions of this woman? She’s his employee after all.

Yoongi’s large hand comes up to cup your face, his thumb gently gliding over your cheekbone. “I know that look, what’s wrong baby?” He asks, his dark eyes skimming your face in search for answers. “It’s nothing.” You respond a bit too quickly, your tone stiff. The corner of Yoongi’s lip quirks up. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

Your eyes shoot open, “N-no!” you sputter out a weak defense. His hand slides down to your chin, the grip tightening a bit. His smirk spreads into a smile which angers you. He thinks this is funny?

“Don’t fucking touch me right now.” You say in a way harsher manner than you intended, tearing his hand away from your face. A flash of hurt runs over Yoongi’s face, his smile instantly falling. “Don’t look at me like that! I just- I need a moment right now.” You say in an apologetic tone. “You need a moment? I’ve been giving you a moment for days now. What about me? I keep trying so hard and you don’t show an ounce of being grateful. What’s your problem?” His tone gets louder as he talks, anger evident in his facial expressions.

“Problem? Oh it’s a problem now that I can’t always feel one hundred percent happy? Go sleep with some happy drugged out whore then if that’s what you want!” Without realizing it your tone has risen to a yell, you’re standing now, no longer in the comfort of warm blankets on the couch. “Don’t yell at me!” He yells back, tears beginning to brim his eyes.

“You’re yelling too asshole! Oh you’re gonna cry? Go cry to Sunhee, maybe she can suck your dick to make it better if you can’t go a week without me sucking it!” The moment you finish the last sentence a silence falls over the apartment. Yoongi stares at you wide eyed, unable to form a single sentence.

He looks like a kicked puppy, his eyes watery and his hands trembling. Realizing you went to far the only thing that pops up in your head is leaving the apartment for a bit. You speed walk to the front door, tugging your shoes on quickly and pulling a random jacket on. “Hey, hey! Where are you going?” Yoongi follows you once he realizes what you’re doing. Unable to look at his face you grab your keys and walk out, slamming the door behind you.

Not knowing where to go you walk to the nearest park. Taking a seat on one of the benches you stare up at the moon. “Why did I say that?” You mumble to yourself, tears stinging at your eyes. Your throat contracts, guilt choking you. There’s no holding back now, you let your sobs loose, tears running down your face uncontrollably.

“(Y/N)? Is that you?” A soft voice calls out to your right. Your head shoots up, trying to find the source of the sound. There stands Sunhee, she seems to be in her pajamas with a puffer jacket thrown on top. Her hair is a mess and she’s holding a leash. A little white dog sniffs around near her legs, you assume it’s her’s.

“What’s wrong?” She asks as she sits down next to you. “Ah don’t worry about it.” You mumble, sniffling lightly. “You’re so pretty (Y/N), I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look good while they cry before.” Sunhee says with a genuine smile. “I- uh what?” You tilt your head to the side in confusion. “If I didn’t have a girlfriend I’d be jealous of Suga for having a girlfriend as pretty as you.” She giggles lightly.

“WHAT?” The question comes out harsher than you intend, the whole situation confusing you. “Listen, if you ever leave Suga just give me a call.” She says with a playful wink. You laugh in disbelief, your tears completely gone now. “You’re funny Sunhee.” You say, still sniffling lightly. “I’m not joking, but thank you.” She giggles along with you.

“Now why are you outside so late?” She asks while pulling her dog up into her lap. “I had a fight with Yoongi, I didn’t really know where else to go. I’m kind of scared to face him right now.” You answer truthfully. “Girl, have you seen how he looks at you? That man is a goner, I’m sure whatever you argued about isn’t that bad. You should go home and apologize, you can talk it through.” She says while giving you an encouraging smile. “You think so?” You ask quietly. “I know so.”

Even with Sunhee’s encouragement you’re still unsure. Guilt wracks through your whole body, pressing down on your insides and making you nauseous. You try to be as quiet as possible when you enter the apartment, but the sound of the heavy front door closing and jingling of keys betrays you. Just as you’re taking your shoes off you hear shuffling down the hallway. Yoongi’s dark figure emerges, you’re ready to hear something nasty from him, but instead you’re met with two warm arms wrapped around you.

“Thank god you’re safe.” He mumbles before kissing the top of your head. “I’m sorry Yoongi, I’m so sorry baby. Please don’t leave me. I didn’t-“ you’re cut off by a hiccup, your tears returning. “I didn’t mean to say any of that. Please, please don’t leave me I’ll never do that again…” You sob into his chest. “Shhhhh, I know you didn’t mean it, I should’ve done some things differently too.” His hand softly pets your head.

“I’ve been trying to figure out why you’ve been acting so weird lately and I think I get it now. You look at her like she killed your dog. You know she’s a lesbian right?” You can’t help but laugh a bit at that. “Yeah I kind of found that out just now.” You mumble, your fingers tangling into the material of his shirt. “Why don’t you like her?” You can feel him softly smile against your hair as he asks the question.

“I don’t know I just-“ You try to form the right words, but they won’t come. “Ugh! She’s just so pretty and she’s really open, it feels like she’s perfect and has everything you could need and I’m just sort of me? I don’t know, it’s stupid. I’m just projecting.” Yoongi listens intently to everything you say while he takes your jacket off. “Lately I’ve felt like the shell of who I was when you met me, you know? I’m just sort of bleh- and every other woman around me seems to have her shit togehter.” A tear runs down your cheek and Yoongi chases it away with his thumb.

“It’s why I’ve been avoiding having sex lately. I just feel gross and ugly while you… you look like you were sculpted by the ancient Greeks. You need a Hera to your Zeus. I’m like a satyr or something!” You let out a bitter laugh, trying to mask your feelings. “Hmm I think we’re more like Orpheus and Eurydice. Except I don’t want to lose you the way he lost her. They were such perfect lovers, yet there was something tragic about them. What’s love without tragedy?” He softly spoke, continuing to wipe your tears. You let out a genuine laugh and hit his chest lightly. “You idiot! You don’t get it.”

“I think I at least partially get it. I mean hell you make my knees weak whenever you look me in the eye woman, and we’ve been dating for years! I’d go to the pits of hell for you a million times more than Orpheus if it meant having a bit more time to spend with you. There’s no other person that could fulfill your role in my life as well as you do. I love you for you, you’re my muse. My light.” He places a ginger peck onto your forehead.

Love and desire suddenly flood through you, grabbing the collar of his shirt you pull him into a rough kiss. A few more tears make their way past your eyelids, but these ones of relief and joy rather than sadness and frustration. Yoongi gladly accepts your advances, kissing you back firmly. He barely wastes any time trying to get his tongue intertwined with yours. Your interwoven muscles becoming a metaphor for your souls combining together, the act of physical intimacy projecting your consciousness into one being, content and whole.

One of your hands shoot up to grip his hair a bit tighter than necessary which makes him release a deep moan. He pants against your lips, trying to catch his breath, but unable to fully separate your bodies. As he had endured yearning for you such a torturous amount, how could he let you go now?

He presses you flat against the door, holding you down chest to chest. His cold hands slide up your shirt, the contrast of temperature making you shiver. Caressing the skin of your stomach so lightly it tickles, he snakes one of his hands behind your back, swiftly unclipping your bralette in one movement. You let it drop to the floor, the only thing on your mind right now being the feeling of his body on yours. With his hands lightly ghosting over your breasts now, you shudder each time one of his fingers brushed against your nipples. Slowly he pulls your shirt off, the cold night air bites at your skin making your nipples harden. Instinctively your arms shoot up to cover yourself, but Yoongi stops you. He firmly grips your wrists and pins them down above your head.

Now fully exposed to him, he looks you in the eyes before licking a fat stripe from the area between your breasts to your neck. Lightly blowing onto the wet part of your skin, you take in a deep breath from the sensation. He begins to trail kisses down to your chest, letting go of your hands so he can bring you as close to him as possible. You tug at his hair softly as he mouthes at ode of your breasts, his tongue lightly teasing the soft bud. He groans softly before kissing down lower so he can get onto his knees.

He kneels before you know, unashamed of the submissive position he’s in. His teeth occasionally graze your stomach between sloppy open mouthed kisses. Looking up at you through his lashes, Yoongi starts undoing your pants. He pushes them down as if they’re getting in the way and moves his kisses down to your thighs. His uncalculated mouth moves dangerously close to your clothed cunt. Hovering over it he purposefully breathes through his mouth so you can feel his warm breath on your skin. You gasp when he suddenly pressed his nose against your pussy and inhales deeply. You can peel the tips of your ears heating up from embarrassment, but Yoongi doesn’t seem to care in the slightest.

“Ugh, fuck how I missed this part of you.” He groans as he kisses over the thin fabric. Finding your clit almost immediately he starts to roll his tongue against it through your panties. Your arousal and his saliva mix together in the material causing an uncomfortable need for real contact.

“Yoongi, take it off already…” you whisper to him, brushing his bangs out of his face. Looking up at you with a cheeky smirk he grabs onto the hem of your underwear with his teeth, making sure to lightly graze your sensitive skin with them as he pulls down. Your panties don’t even have the chance to reach the floor and his mouth is already on you again. He runs his tongue through your folds, making you instinctively angle your hips to give him more access. Heedlessly circling your clit with his tongue, he occasionally sucks on it or flicks it. You’re unsure if his mouth is glistening from his own saliva or from your wetness, but the sloppy noises he’s making are causing you to involuntarily buck your hips into his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful like this, my sweet girl.” He mumbles as he pulls away, nuzzling his head into your thigh. Replacing his tongue with his fingers, you let out a quiet moan when he slips them inside of you. “I love having you like this, only for me to see. You know I’d never do this for anyone else, right?” He emphasizes the question by pressing his fingers down against your sweet spot. ”Shit, Yoongi. I love you so much, no one makes me cum like you do.” Your response comes out in a dragged out whine.

Satisfied with your reply his mouth returns to your clit while his fingers work you open. The combination of sensations makes an orgasm built up in your abdomen fast. “Yoon- Yoongi, I’m gonna ah- I’m gonna cum!” You moan out, trying to warn him. This only encourages him to go faster as an orgasm ripples through you in harsh waves, your head falling back against the door as your eyes roll into the back of your head. You spasm slightly as he continues to work your cunt, trying to pull him away so he doesn’t overstimulate you.

He licks off your juices from his fingers, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. As soon as he’s back on his feet you go in for a kiss, leaning on him for support while still coming down from your high. He refuses to let your lips part as he leads you to the bedroom, his shirt and pants getting lost along the way.

“Lay down baby.” He mumbled against your lips as he led you to the bed. Kneeling down between your legs he made sure you were comfortable on your pillow. No matter how basic, missionary was always the best when you needed to express your love sexually. Parting your lips he pulls you down a little so your thighs are pressed together. He grabs his erect cock out of his underwear, not even bothering to get rid of the boxers. Pumping it a few times he gives you a dopey look, a lazy smirk spreading on his face.

“You ready?” He rasps out, rubbing the tip of his cock against your swollen clit, mixing his precum together with the aftermath of your previous orgasm. “A little too ready.” You replied, running a hand through your hair. “Mmm I can tell.” He teases while spreading the natural lubricant over his cock. Slowly he pressed the tip in, “Fuck, it’s going in so easily, o barely had to prep you. You really want it, don’t you?” his brows crease together in pleasure as he slowly bottoms out. “Yes, fuck Yoongi I want your cock so bad.” Your hand shoots up to grab onto his shoulder, biting your lip at the fullness.

“Please, (Y/N). Can I move?” He murmured, holding onto your hips tightly. “Yes, fuck me Yoongi.” You replied, grabbing his face to place a wet kiss onto his lips. He let out a low moan as he started thrusting into you, the warmth and wetness of your cunt feeling better each time he fucked it. You lightly squeezed your walls on purpose knowing it drives him crazy. “Oh my- ah shit I won’t last long at all if you do that.” He said breathily, his hips jerking forward involuntarily. You hooked one of your legs onto his hips, pulling him forward so he’s pressed into your cunt as deeply as possible. The both of you groaned at that, as soon as you let go he started thrusting into you with a quicker pace. His movements rapidly increased with each slap of skin that echoed throughout the space, his head thrown back. That look on his face means he’s absolutely lost in please and that makes you proud. He molds so perfectly inside you it makes all of your doubts melt away, it’s like he was made for you.

Matching the pace of his thrust to his fingers flicking your clit, Yoongi can swear he can feel you pulsating around him. “Ah, fuck (Y/N) I think I’m gonna cum already. Shit I’m sorry it just feels too good.” He groans, the already pink tips of his ears darkening. “It’s okay, go ahead baby, cum inside me.” You breathily respond, continuing to moan with each of his thrusts. He speeds up before abruptly stopping, the feeling of his warm seed filling you up making you clench around his cock. “Wait, shit, shit run my pussy please I’m so close too.” His fingers immediately speed up on your clit, furiously flicking it as your abdomen tightens again. As the hot white pleasure rips through your whole body, making your muscles spasm you hear a wet noise. Looking down the moment you can open your eyes you see Yoongi’s lower stomach covered in a clear liquid.

“Did you just make me squirt?” You laugh in disbelief. “That’s a first.” He mumbles before pulling his cock out, various liquids gliding down your ass. “I’ll go get a towel. He quickly gets up, trying his best not to make any of his surroundings wet.

As the two of you are laying in bed, your warm baked bodies pressed together, you feel Yoongi’s chest vibrate as he speaks up. “From now on, you always have to tell me when something’s bothering you, okay?” He softly says, stroking your hair. “Okay.” You whisper back. “Promise?” He questions while raising his pinky finger up, you lock yours with his, pressing your thumbs together. “Promise.”

[furifurii]

since you, the reader has school going for you, you rarely play honkai star rail.

the characters would always wonder where you went, or what you were doing outside of their world. they can still hear your voice, but very, very faintly. they would sometimes hear a name they would not recognize and idk, maybe just go:

"who the hell is diluc and why is he so hot??"

they would also listen in to your conversations whenever they would hear your voice. even if it's you talking to yourself about history, or you talking to your friends about things unrelated to their world. they wouldn't really mind. maybe just a little bit.

but when you go back to the game, the characters would be overjoyed and would try to make you stay there longer.

even going as far as to secretly double the stellar jades you would receive during quests or missions. and missing the excitement of pulling for new characters, you would gladly warp for the new characters on limited banners.

they would ask silver wolf to hack into the system to boost your chances of getting a character or the light cone you were pulling for. they would push each other aside just so they can appear on your screen for you to gush over how you got another copy of a character or celebrating when you got all of the eidolons of one character that you really liked.

just seeing you being happy just makes them want to spoil you even more, just so you will stay playing with them, forever.

but when you suddenly stopped playing the game while they were trying their hardest to give you what you wanted, you realised, oh, there's school tomorrow. so you decided to turn off the game for the time being and go to sleep.

but they couldn't let you go just like that! that would be ridiculous.

for a few days just before you played the game again, the cast begged for anyone who could take them to your world. just sitting idly on your device's screen and listen to your voice wasn't cutting it anymore.

they want to see— they needed to see you, to actually have an actual conversation with you and not just talk to you through this game's script. it wasn't enough for them to be living behind the screen for you to just watch, they wanted to show you that they are actual tangible beings that call you their "creator" .

the main character had begged herta to do something about this, and she complied without any argument, to their confusion. usually she would be saying stuff like how she would just 'give up in the middle of it' ,, but she.. didn't? nonetheless, they were grateful to have herta agree with creating a portal to your world.

as soon as the characters caught wind of this, they were ecstatic. they had left their duties just to hop on the astral express and to herta's space station, to finally see you, to meet you.

in herta's office, it was packed with all the playable characters, waiting. some patiently waiting, some, not so much.

to see opposing groups of people being in the same room and not being at each other's throats were such a random thing to see, but they didn't care about that, no no, they only cared about you.

you, their "creator".. how could they miss this opportunity to be meeting their own creator, the one who gave them life, something to live for.

as herta was finishing up some parts of the portal, you were sound asleep in your bed, snoring away in your weird sleeping position.

well, until you felt your blanket started to move with sudden gusts of wind. you heard a really loud thump, it didn't come from any rooms of your house, it didn't sound muffled when it happened. so it's,, in your room. but oh, would you look at that, your room is so dark you couldn't locate your phone which was usually near you to use it as a flashlight.

but what's that? you heard a voice , a very, very familiar voice.

———

yeah naur... i can't do this,, this sounds terrible i'm so sorry you had to read this sobsosb i am so soso sorryr

[maximwtf]

“Whatever soul I may have left, is for you to keep.”

Capitano x M! Reader

Words: 3770

Google Docs Pages: 6ish

Warnings: 5.1 spoilers…actually just in general Natlan archon quest spoilers, angst, yearning, romance but in the sense that we all know it’s never gonna happen but it’s a nice thought, Capitano with actual rot idk maybe some abyssal mixed in there, M Reader but I don’t use a lot of pronouns so can go as GN too.

Opening: 500 years ago had he last met someone like you, and that was the problem. He couldn’t tell you that, nor could he get closer if he was unable to see you as yourself and not a vision from the past. 

AN// Thank you so much for requesting, happy to write for Capitano again AGH. I’m sorry if this feels like it drags on, I can’t help myself. No matter how simple notes I make, I end up yapping like crazy. Somebody sedate me pleaseeee

“Whatever soul I may have left, is for you to keep.”

You’d told him, of course you had. Told him that facing Mavuika likely wasn’t the way to get his hands on the gnosis any faster, but he’d insisted. Saying he had it all planned out, no matter what the outcome may have been. As if that had made you worry any less. He was a strong man, that you didn’t doubt for a second, but to say Mavuika was any less formidable would have been a lie. But as he had firmly stated, he was prepared for any outcome. 

You weren’t aware anymore if the warmth coursing through your body was due to Natlan’s natural heat or simply the anticipation while waiting for his return. And which only increased after a grand explosion of light emerged from the stadium with a loud wave of noise. Leaving you wide eyed at the closest base with a few other guards. 

The air felt still after the explosion disappeared, still as warm as ever. But that didn’t seem to bother you anymore, left stunned as you waited for any sign of life from the stadium. Any flicker of that familiar icey blue, yet it only seemed that a gloomy smoke kept rising from the middle. No other major movement. 

Only the footsteps of another guard got your attention back to the present moment. The man firmly informing the rest that the Captain had been hit by one of Mavuika’s attacks and was being transported back to a base further back, to give the troops more time to assess the situation. That the new guy that’d been following Capitano around had seemingly saved him and the few other guards that’d come along. 

You wanted to question him more, to ask if anyone had seen how severe the injuries were. If you’d have to prepare yourself to see the worst. Knowing it would be some form of a burn you’d be dealing with once meeting up with the rest of the group. But there was no time for that. The more this group was stalled, the longer the rest would have to wait for your assessment. There was no time to be selfish. 

Hearing some of the guards start to usher you to hurry up, assisting you with picking up the equipment from that base. Doing their best to wait up, but ultimately having to hurry up and follow the command given. They had to move up to not be caught after such commotion. 

You weren’t necessarily a trained medic nor any other form of a healer. The Fatui had their own section trained for such matters, but this group didn’t have one. Most of the men had the basic crumbs of medical training, if even that, under their belt. So by popular vote, they’d nominated you as their medic. Having the most experience with any sort of medical care. Likely now also expected to be the one able to check the wound inflicted and to be able to determine how the group would continue on from here. 

Knowing that after attracting attention like that to the Fatui’s presence and Capitano himself showing up for a fight, it was only in due time someone would come looking for him and the rest of the platoon. There wasn’t too much time to waste, only hope that the wound wasn’t so serious it would require months to heal. And even then, that it’d be minor enough to not cause him harm while working. 

You barely had the time to set the equipment up when the word of his arrival came to your ears as well. Turning to face him as the man himself along a couple of guards entered. None of the bases were truly anything spectacular. You didn’t have to be a medic to determine the lack of resources in a place like this. That being a worry each time someone got injured. This one consisting of a smaller cave under a cliff where if the group stayed near, it had a chance of being completely unseen. The cave itself providing you a cooling shade to work in, feeling rather bad for the rest of the troops who spent their time outside it. Underneath the scorching sun. 

The area had no chairs to speak of, no proper tables. Crates being used as both, of which you pushed out one for Capitano to sit on. But being too quick to ask questions of his condition for him to be able to sit down before answering. “How do you feel? Is the burn area only on the chest?” Noticing this a little too late, cringing as the two guards still there had likely witnessed the urgency in your speech. Hoping they only took it as a hurry to check up on the Captain, knowing he was a high ranking fatuus. And if anything happened to him due to your tardiness, that fate would be for you to explain to the next higher up. Truthfully speaking, only hurrying like this due to your genuine care for him. 

It wasn’t this mission alone you’d been within his chosen troops. And a part of you hoped, knew, that it wasn’t merely because of your medicinal capabilities. A decent fighter among many other, so that shouldn’t have mattered to him. Yet you’d noticed yourself delivering messages to him little by little more often, him requesting your presence in situations you thought not suited for someone like you. Perhaps for an assistant of sorts, but for a mere soldier by then, it was by no means a usual position to be in. To be seemingly favoured by such a high ranking member. 

And when he’d asked you if you had any interest in becoming his aide, it hadn’t exactly come as a surprise. In his eyes, the things you’d already done for him counted as training. Which he wasn’t wrong about, he had practically trained you for the exact job even if he hadn’t meant it. So who were you to refuse? If he saw the potential in you, it must have been the right choice. Someone of his status likely knew better than you either way, able to spot specific talents amongst soldiers. 

“Believe me, this will heal over time. My desire to protect this nation still stands. If anything, Mavuika’s show of strength was important for those to witness it, to uphold hope.” He insisted, swearing that Mavuika hadn’t been at her full capability. And knowing Capitano, he most certainly would have never taken advantage of a situation such like that. All he would do is use the information he’d gathered to push the mission onward. But never start playing unfair, that much was for certain. Yet you found yourself wondering if that would have made the fight even. Knowing the condition of the Captain. 

You were all too aware of the curse and its effects, as much as he’d initially insisted on keeping it a secret. At first thinking it must have been a form of insecurity, but truthfully you weren’t so sure about that anymore. Knowing he’d opened up a lot more about it later on. So hearing Capitano declare his morals once more felt off this time. It almost worried you, if he’d only be willing to go all out if Mavuika was fully empowered. That would surely leave him as the weakened opponent. Having to shake that though away as soon as it appeared, not wanting to imagine such a fight. The outcome of the last one had been tragic enough, you thought. 

Yet, as much as you wanted to believe the man was unfazed by what had happened. You couldn’t help but see those subtle flashes that resembled something akin to astonishment in his speech and movements. Each aspect something you had to diligently pick up on to notice, a habit mastered over time working alongside him.

You ignored his former response, seeing it as something not worth following up on. The burn area still had to be checked, if only for your sake. Capitano letting you rather willingly, aware of how much peace he’d have left if he were to refuse the check up now. 

Before removing the outer pieces of clothing you ushered the two guards out of the cave, waving your hands at them in a quick motion a few times. To which they responded, signing out before making their way back under the sun. Eagerly waiting for the next move, leaving you to carefully start tending the burnt area. Eyes ignoring the corrupt, rotten areas with practised ease. Not an aspect you hadn’t seen before, a part of the man you’d become familiar with. It was him, it was something you knew him by. A part of him that’d always been there, ever since your paths had intertwined. 

Capitano listened keenly at the command thrown at the two guards, hearing susurration of the gravel under their boots as they turned and walked out. A part of him amused by their behaviour, willingness to take the command and follow. Something that would have otherwise been frowned upon, an absurd action to take from someone not pulling the reins. And so would have he thought as well, if it hadn’t been him who’d allowed you that power over the guards. 

The prerogative something not often seen from his aides, but something that now had an odd echo from the past each time he witnessed it. The tone of your voice, the formatting of the words and the action that happens almost immediately after. How a trained soldier listens, moves when commanded. There was something so familiar about it all, a familiarity dating back 500 years. 

Capitano’s memory swirled, a feeling that nagged at him every now and then. An altercation with his own mind, as if none of the memories were fond enough to think of. They were, a lot of them were. But when it came to how it all ended, were the good memories worth nothing more but agony? Agony that he couldn’t avoid, there was no hiding from one’s own mind. 

An image of a person long gone, never forgotten. Each detail still there as they’d been over 500 years ago on that day. Time that now felt so far away, remembering how much younger he’d been and how little he’d seen. How much he thought he’d experienced by then. And how little that version of him had truly seen. One person stuck by him through most of it. An aide assigned to him, someone he hadn’t meant to get close to. A person meant to ease his workload, but still someone he’d grown to care for. Grown fond of over the years, gaining high respect from the troops due to that as well. That very same aide having gotten the very same prerogatives as you had. 

And there it was. This person, now nothing more but an image in his head, someone who’d been dear to him, now stood by him again. As if some sort of a reincarnation. Of course, he knew better than to believe that. There was no peace for a Khaenri'ahn, no such thing as reincarnation to get to live a full life once more. You were your own person. 

But he couldn’t help himself. Not when you acted the same, had the same tone of voice…everything he could still remember. The memories he’d held on to, as if some sort of sick parting gift from his homeland. And how could he not hold on. For a very long time he’d believed this aide hadn’t been but merely a comrade in his eyes. But he was a high ranking commander of the forces, what face would he have left if he’d been to mingle with an aide? Thinking of the greater good of his homeland, he’d abandoned any hope of pursuing his thoughts further. 

Had he known what was to come, he wasn’t so sure if he would have truly chosen those actions. The years he’d spent pondering over those peaceful years, the chances he’d had to try and pursue what he assumed to be a possible future. The regrets that he’d now accumulated over the years for the decision made all that time ago. 

When Capitano had escaped with the remnants of his troops, this aide had held on. A trained aide, by no means a seasoned soldier, it felt a miracle to see them still standing by after the escape. A flicker of hope had ignited within him as they’d settled into Natlan. That perhaps this nation which he viewed similar to their home, would have been able to protect what he still held close to his heart, the very remnants of that. But the world wasn’t known for its kindness, or so he had decided then. In that moment when this aide had fallen, slain as one of the last of his men. Having fought side by side with him to the very end. The men he had failed to lead and command, something he’d been trained to specifically do.

As valiant as the death had been, the then soured commander had begun to blame himself. And how could he not? He was a commander without his troops, without anyone to command. He was a soldier without a home to return to. He had failed his homeland, his men and the very thing he’d hoped to keep fighting for if nothing else. But not even the years could truly erase those regrets that kept accumulating. The yearning to get another chance to protect what had been his, if only for his own dignity. All of the memories piling up with the what if’s as he watched his form rot. Diligently constructing a new him, holding on to his morales while being forced to dwell among the living. Cursed to having to watch anything close to dear for him rot away along with himself. 

Then again, as much as he might have hoped the memories of the aide he had, had changed over time, they hadn’t. The way you spoke and behaved reminded him deeply of that person. All of those small details bringing him back to times he liked to think had been simpler, realistically the time likely having sullied the truth. Nostalgia had always been such a dreadful creature. 

But pondering over those similarities would never help anyone, him the least. There would never come a time when he’d be able to tell you of these memories and thoughts. Especially not if he wished to keep any face as an authority figure, the last crumbs he had left of that in your eyes. Nevermind the companionship he’d grown fond of. 

How could he possibly come to you solely for the reason that you reminded him of someone from the far past? Merely because you shared similarities with someone whom he’d highly respected. That would surely only lead to further complications, which he did not wish for. There was no room to be selfish. 

Having to force his mind to pinpoint the differences, be it subtle or not. Truthfully, there would have been a difference in the way both of the aide’s viewed him, who they knew him as. How would have this first aide reacted to seeing his corroded form now? What this curse had done to his body, to the man he once had been known as? A part of him was glad the men he’d unknowingly led to their slow end hadn’t seen their commander in the state he was in. The men he’d failed to bring home. Having fallen by his side, in duty. 

But you had. As much as he had insisted on keeping this certain problem to himself. Something he found hard to find shame in, yet not seeing it as an aspect to be shown around. If he was to ever regain those missing pieces of his former self, he didn’t wish to be pitied. But much to his dismay, he’d grown closer to you. Allowed himself to be perceived by your eyes, knowing there wasn’t much to lose. The look in your eyes then told him as much. 

So at the end, you were different. Your own person, fully unaware of his past companions, just like it should have been left. You’d made your judgement on him long before, something this initial aide hadn’t had the chance to ever do. He would never know how the events back then could have turned out. But if this was the way the fate of this world had played out, who was he to resist now. 

He hadn’t had the chance to even thought of such things back then. No time to simply even wonder how and what he could have said to that aide. So if he’d now been gifted the chance to try again, he was prepared to not redo the same mistakes. If anything, the events he’d endured had taught him how ephemeral something like this could be. As much had been clear to him for a long time, the past had to be left to rest in its rightful place. These thoughts having been one of many he’d go through and ultimately put to rest. It was easy to dwell in the past, but with the time he’d been forcibly given, he was going to spend fighting for what he hadn’t been able to in the past. Whatever soul he may have had left, was yours to keep. 

You inspected the damage, using what little time there was to the best of your ability. For a man having taken such a serious blow, he was in rather good shape. Nevertheless, on a mission such as this, even small injuries had to be taken into consideration with the next step. Having patched the area up, hands working with practised ease by now. Gentle in their movements as the last bit of the gauze was tied down. There wasn’t time to start being fancy, not after such a huge event. The whole camp had to be moved to a safer location. 

“I recall telling you that this would be a bad idea, and should have been kept as a backup plan, if anything,” the complaint slipping from you. No malice in the words, what truly mattered was that everyone was safe. Furthermore, having heard him preach of why he hadn’t felt the need to finish the battle. The upkeep of his morals never ceasing to amaze you. Which in all honestly puzzled you, knowing that the man himself was weakened as well. 

But there was no use in going over small details, especially not now. Nor was there time to truly worry about him. You were aware of his ability to somewhat heal, so there was a possibility he could have treated this injury by himself. So seeing him sat in your care was a mind calming sight. He was going to be okay. 

In truth, you knew multiple of these small details about him. Minor mannerisms he often performed, having noticed them by simply following him around. By that time having grown rather close to him, an obvious reason why his men earlier had listened to the command. Yet, as many details and personal information you’d accumulated over the years, it still felt as if he was somehow far away. Only allowing you closer, but keeping himself at bay. As if you were something to admire and respect, but as if some force was causing him to behave this way. The thought of time possibly fixing this keeping you from pondering about it further. 

Surely for someone forced to live and dwell among the living for so long, forming any sort of close bonds was a thing to deeply consider before giving in. So allowing him to think on his own felt like the natural choice. Fully aware that he wasn’t keeping things from you out of malice or to break the bond you had with him, never. Knowing it probably wasn’t appropriate to ask him about this, as his aide, while fully aware that the man had a long past. Even if you weren’t fully in on with said past. 

Capitano’s eyes followed your movements as you carefully buttoned his shirt back up to cover the scarring. Tugging the rest of his clothing back onto his weary shoulders, careful yet diligent in your movements. “You have my thanks. Keep proving yourself to be useful, as always,” his voice came through the mask, a compliment you’d grown used to. “Oh please, I’m not even a medic.” Was your response this time around as well. Yet a part of Capitano knew you would have requested a check up for him if he hadn’t come for one himself, that was merely how you’d always been. No matter for his own ability to heal himself. 

And perhaps this was how it was meant to be. Everyone from the platoon on this mission working as they had always been, not a step out of the ordinary. That would keep his men safe. Wondering how ironic of a thought that was, considering the past he’d just been reminiscing. The future he held a flicker of hope for. 

Capitano thought to himself before saying his goodbyes, aware of how little time there was to waste for mind games such as these. 

Perhaps today nor tomorrow would come the day when he was able to return to these thoughts. When there was safety and time for him to tell you all this. He needed not the comfort from you for this, merely to have the knowledge and peace of mind of one day being able to come to you with these thoughts. He was fully aware of what he had to offer anymore, what was left of him. That he had come to terms with. 

But somehow this world had blessed him with another chance. As if he hadn’t failed his men, failed to bring them home. That didn’t seem to shake Fate, a devious thing that concept was. His own regrets hadn’t held it back from allowing him this turmoil. A new chance without the worry of having to be on the run. He had nothing but time anymore, neverending time to pursue something taken from him then. No destiny should have been unchangeable, that he believed in. So if he was allowed to tie a loose end from 500 years ago, that would be enough for him. 

There wasn’t a lot of him left, not much he was able to give. But that what he still had, he was willing to surrender to you.

[portgasdwrld]

📞Wait a minute while I make you mine part.4(final)

Featuring: Ace x F!reader

Warning: NSFW content, MINORS DNI !!!

Note: I’m back I’m sorry 👩🏻‍💻idk if I hate writing smut because it takes me so much time, or because I wish IRL men were like this.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

4.Giving up

Ace looked at you as he expected some sort of words to exit his mouth. Every of his heartbeat felt closer to death to him as his mind rushed with thoughts he has been having of you. He was put on the spot and Ace couldn't find a way to portray his emotions to you in words or actions, tell you exactly why his heart always felt warmer near you. Faced to your question, his basic ability to speech were gone.

-What do you mean?

It was the best thing he could let out. His heart was beating fast as he watched your features change to a defeated smile that covered your lips. His hand reached the back of his head where he let it slide back to his jawline, to finally let it fall back to his side.

-I don't know Ace? Do I really need to be more direct than this. I just don't know how to feel about you anymore..

You replied with a dry chuckle, your eyes flickered to his figure. His heart winced at your words. Were you mad because of the stunt Enya pulled? It wasn't your type to get jealous over someone or even show you care. You never did with him or with anyone so what could've possible happened to make you switch your behavior.

-I'm not sure I truly grasp the situation, y/n.

-Ugh, you can be so dense.

You exhaled as you stand up and face him. You sighed in frustration as you walked towards him with your heels in one hand. You pulled your short dress down and pushed your hair out of your face. Eyelashes a little wet from the slight crying, you looked up to him and quickly bit your lips.

-Listen, dumb fire boy. I like you and a part of me hate to admit it, but here it is, you do what you want with this information.

You admit through your lashes. Ace watched you closely with lips parted, surprised by your sudden confession. Your gaze shifted from his eyes to the red lipstick's mark left on his neck. You trailed it with the edge of your fingers, before brushing it with your thumb, smudging it away from his skin.

-..And honestly I hate seeing other persons leave marks on your body if it's not me

Ace surprised expression quickly changed into the familiar cocky grin you were so familiar to. He closed the distance between you two and tilted his face down. His breath brushed your nose as you felt his fingers softly grip your waist.

-So, you like me, huh?

You roll your eyes as a smile curved your lips. Your eyes flickered to his lips for a quick second and back to his brown eyes as you took the opportunity to wrap your arms around his neck.

-Yeah... I like you … very much.

You let in a shaky whisper as your own nervousness was now difficult to hide. He slightly giggled and his eyes stared at you for a moment, enjoying the proximity of your body after imagining it for so long. You were so pretty to his eyes.

-I like you too

-Then, just kiss me already

And without missing any time, Ace pressed his lips against yours. The earning you two had for each other for such a long time was clearly being shown through the kiss, it was bit rough but still sensual. Ace's hands travelled down to your hips and butt as he brought you closer to him. Your fingers interlocking with his darks locks as you barely pulled them, it left him grunting in your mouth. You wanted more, he wanted more.

-fuck.. I can't get enough of you

He panted between the wet kisses interchanged between y'all lips. You let one hand slide to his nude chest as the other cupped the side-end of his jawline. You didn't even want to hide that your need for him was almost unbearable at the moment.

-Ace.. I need you.

As if he was only waiting for you to say those words, he quickly pulled you towards one of the long chairs where he sat and brought you down to his laps. You hovered over him and his hands directly went on your ass where he grabbed it earning a gasp from your lips. But, he didn't even let you react properly as he dived back into kissing you more hungrily than ever by grabbing the back of your head with one of his hands.

-Ace you're not going to fuck me here, aren't you?

You ask pushing him away with your two hands pressed on his chest. He laid back and looked at you with a challenging smirk.

-Whos going to see anyway, its so dark out here

-Ace...

He slapped your ass making you gasp once again. You stared at him defeated by his totally nonchalant and shameless behavior.

-Since, when did I ever care about that. I'm a pirate baby.

He concluded the "conversation" by pulling your wrist towards him so your body fell on his, once again. He cupped your cheeks with one hand as the other pushed away the few strands of hair on your face.

-Is it fine with you sweetheart?

You took a big breath. At this point you didn't even care because you felt so wet and you desperately needed release no matter what. You looked down at his eyes and smirked as you pecked his lips.

-Yeah, it's more fun this way

He smirked right back and adjusted his position, but thrusted into you in the process. His growing hard bulge brushing against your wet core, made you moan , a moan that you quickly tried to conceal with your hand.

-Don't do that

He whispered into your ears, nibbling on your neck. sucking your skin while you started to grind against him.

-I don't want people to hea-

You quickly got cut off with a moan escaping your lips as he intentionally pushed his hips up again. You quickly glared at him as you watched a cocky smirk grow on his face. You rolled your eyes and lightly pulled some of his hair intertwined between your fingers. He chuckled and gave your collarbone a last kiss before he looked up at you with the same shitty confident grin.

-Be vocal, I like it

He said smiling while playing with your ass and jiggling it in his hands. You looked at him almost speechless at his incredibly laidback attitude. You would never believe that he has touched himself multiple of times imagining you on top of him, fucking you or you sucking him off, that he was eager to feel you around him.

-Alright, as much I want us to take our time, let's hurry. Need some prep, angel?

-What happened to your "I don't care who see us" bs?

You asked with a cocked eyebrow as you felt him slide his digits under your panties. He pushed your panties to the side as he let his fingers get coated by your wetness. You gripped his shoulders as you pushed your body forward, inviting him to push them inside.

-I take this as a no?

-Acee, stop being a tease.

You whined as you let your head rest on the crook on his neck. You felt his torso vibrating against your arms as he giggled at your whines. He pushed two of his fingers inside of you, thrusting them in and out of you in the perfect needed pace.

-Fuck..

You sighed as you felt your pleasure slowly building up. He quickened the pace, making his fingers roughly hit your sweet spot as your juices ran down his hand.

-So good to me, you want my cock sweetheart

-Yes, please

-What do you want baby? Use your words

-I want your cock Ace, please

He pulled out his fingers bringing them over to his mouth where he quickly sucked away the juice and opened his belt.

-Wait, let me do that

He put his hands back on your hips as he watched you do your thing. You sat a little over his knees and unzipped his shorts. You took his already hard dick in your hands, smearing the pre-cum on the tip. You leaned over him, kissing his lips as you stroke his length. His hands cupped your face as he deepened the kiss by pushing his tongue in your mouth. Drool all over y'all faces and his dick twitching in your hand, you got closer to him angling his tip closer to your hole. You slowly sank down, earning both of you to moan in each others mouth. Ace finally let go to catch his breath, his head resting on the back of the chair.

-You feel so good, fuck

He let you some time to get used to his dick inside of you before he started to move slowly his hips. You sighed as the fullness he provided you, was enough to make you easily build up the pleasure you had earlier with his fingers. You closed your eyes as you once again rest your head on his chest.

-You're okay baby?

He asked making sure as he softly caressed your head. You nodded and with that he adjusted his position to have a better angle to thrust in you. He was slow at first, but he gradually caught up the pace. You started to move your hips along with his to add more friction. The sound of your bodies loving each other quickly filled the empty quiet space. You unintentionally bit his chest to muffle a loud moan when his dick hit a perfect spot.

-Hey...what did I say earlier..

You couldn't even talk back as you were simply too focused with the feeling of his dick hitting you so good inside, the way his thumb rubbed against your clit and how his other hand was gripping your ass.

-Can't ..even talk h-huh?

He teases in a shaky voice before letting a groan out. He loved feeling your breast rubbing against his chest and your ass clapping against his shorts as it moved up and down. With the rush of adrenaline of possibly being caught and fucking outside, he felt like he was almost over the edge already.

-Ace...I'm so close, faster please

He moved faster, controlling now your hips pace too. Your nails dug into his shoulders as a last stroke accompanied with his thumb pressed slightly against your clit, made you release all over his dick. You screamed his name, your body shaking in his hold as he thrusted harder and faster to reach his own high, cumming inside of you. You two were panting hard as Ace fingers were brushing up and down your back.

-My legs feel numb...

You pant as you looked up to him. He opened his eyes to stare at your eyes, before you two chuckled.

-It's fine, ima take care of you after we get back to the ship. i just need to catch my breath.

A comfortable silence set as you let your head fall on his chest, hearing his quick heartbeat.

-You came inside huh

-Yeah, sorry about that-

-It's fine, im on the pill dirty ass.

-Dirty ass??

-Yeah??It will be dripping down my legs when we walk back to the ship, gross.

-Oh..., didn't think about that. Ima carry you, don't worry.

-Thanks

Ace smiled to himself enjoying your presence and the moment. His hand was still caressing your back.

-Soooo ...we are going out now?

-That's a stupid question

-Okay mister-super-dense

He laughed as he remembered the early scene where he was totally confused to your indirect confession. He kissed your forehead, loving how your eyes glittered when they stared into his.

-Yeah, yeah whatever.... but yes, I can finally call you mine

[nataliasquote]

The Price of Perfection | n romanoff

Summary: Natasha will stop at nothing to be perfect, but what will it cost?

Warnings: body dysmorphia, negative self image, toxic thoughts, self hatred, tiny mention of SA

wc: 1k

notes: this is depressing as shit. I wrote it one go (again) and tbh I don’t think it makes sense. I just started writing and didn’t stop. Yeah… vent fic idk. Anyway, enjoy, you angst lovers :)

-⧗-

Mirrors.

A symbol of vanity, casting reflections upon the eyes of the beholder. They’ve seen the most lavish ballgowns and the sleepiest eyes, countless discarded outfits and miniature fashion shows.

Used with friends, with families, with loved ones, a way to see one’s favourite people in the same place. They brought so much happiness without so much as a second thought, so why did she hate them so much?

Whilst the rest of the world crowded to take pictures in the mirror, Natasha had hers concealed away like an antique. A pale sheet usually covered the large reflective glass on her wall, she couldn’t bear the sight.

It wasn’t the mirror itself that caused such repulsion in the Russian’s stomach, no. It was the figure she had staring back at her that left her paralysed in disgust. She avoided all reflections like the plague, far too afraid of what she would find if she looked.

Mirrors hid nothing. They were as raw as could be, every flaw highlighted like the freckles on her pale skin. Natasha never cared for the way her body looked, it served her just fine, but something had shifted lately, something small in her mind triggering an avalanche.

How do you even begin to understand something that has been objectified your entire life? How do you view it as anything more than a way to assist a mission, anything more than something for other people to break at will. The visible scars were one thing, but the invisible marks of the many hands that had slid grotesquely around her waist and pawed at her chest like pieces of meat were what stuck out the most as she obsessed over her reflection.

Perfection was a slippery slope.

And Natasha Romanoff craved perfection.

It was all she knew. But gone were the days of having instructors barking orders to ensure she maintained that divine perfection. She was on her own now, but was that a good thing?

Her self control was impeccable but her eyes told another story. They burned across the expanse of her stomach in the dim bathroom light, slender fingers tugging at the flesh on her hips whilst her jaw was set rigid. The cool air barely raised a hair on her arms as she picked herself apart, falling deeper and deeper into her nightmares as red lines began to form across her limbs and torso.

Where was the perfection she had been told she was?

Was it buried underneath the blanket of snow that coated her homeland in its icy beauty? Or was it simply a ruse, a false pretense, meant only to manipulate her further into the ultimate weapon.

Whatever it was, she couldn’t see it now. Even through blurry eyes filled with tears that warped her reflection further, Natasha still stretched and pulled at her skin, ignoring the burn that ignited just under the surface.

How can someone possibly want to love someone like her? A freak, a mess. Bile rose in her throat the longer she panicked, her eyes frantically darting between countless scars and layers of muscle she only perceived as extra weight.

Where had she gone so wrong?

Her mind, usually her sharpest weapon, unmatched in the face of the enemy, had turned on itself and left her the victim in the lonely battlefield. But who was she fighting, if not the figure who mimicked her every move and felt so familiar yet so horrendously foreign.

She didn’t know who she was anymore. Who did her body belong to, because it certainly wasn’t her. Would anyone want her in this state, or would they be just as repulsed as she was after mere seconds of inspection.

“But you’re beautiful.”

What lies. Her grip on reality may have faltered, like fingers slipping on sodden rocks, but she knew what beauty was. And yet now, face to face with the one so many people had admired, she couldn’t see the so-called beauty.

A breathy laugh escaped her lips, yet her expression did nothing to match it. It wasn’t that of happiness, but of desperation, of insanity, the final parts of her slipping away as dysmorphia finally took its hold.

She would never be beautiful, not to herself. Maybe for a fleeting moment when the sun shone just right and her chest felt a little lighter, but that feeling never lasted. All it took was one glance at her reflection in a window for the clouds to settle back inside her mind, reminding her over and over that she would never look the way she wanted. No matter how much she craved it.

The sheet went back up. Her eyes stayed glued to the sidewalk in fear of catching herself in a shop window, and slowly Natasha felt herself slipping away. Her close circle barely saw her anymore, she didn’t want them to see what she saw, and her fork only pushed her food around her plate instead of allowing her a taste.

She knew the price of perfection was high, but it felt astronomical as she scrambled after it, neglecting her life for a glimpse of that feeling. Yet it seemed the harder she tried, the further it felt, leaving her exhausted day after day.

But she never quit. That wasn’t Natasha Romanoff. If she wanted something, she got it, no matter the sacrifice.

But she was fighting a losing battle. Her clouded mind never once gave way to the idea that she was already perfect. How could it? She wasn’t happy with her body, no matter how much she lost or how far she ran.

To the rest of the world, she was the epitome of perfection.

But to herself, she would never be enough. No matter what.

And no compliment could fix that. Not when her self image was so warped that she couldn’t see straight anymore.

She was, and always would be, the reason for her downfall. No enemy could take her down quite like her own mind could and it was the only thing that gave her a sense of control.

But for the price of perfection, could she give it all up?

[toxicanonymity]

The Barbecue. Silence can never be bought, only rented (pt. 5 of 6)

5k / dbf!Joel x f!Reader, 18+ / pt 1 / master list

The long-awaited HOG (hot old guy) barbecue. Joel watches in the reflection of the window as you get out of the pool and grab a towel.  You follow him inside. "Don't tell me that made you jealous," you say. "Turned me on," he responds, and you can tell.

NEXT: part 6 / Story Master List

WARNINGS/NOTES: NSFW 18+ dry humping, vaginal fingering, jacking off, brief oral (M receiving), semi-public-ish, swallowing, alcohol, irresponsible cook-out behavior, DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE, some angst, reader wears Joel's shirt, lack of PIV, blue balls. Do not read the dad as your actual dad!

Tags - This story: @jbcalway @daddy-din @angelmenace @silkiers @axshadows @legs0pen4dilfs @fan-fiction-floozy @grnherbs @icuminurbutt @lokanda @not-a-unique-snowflakewflake89 @likeanimagepassingby2 @witchy-jadda @mxtokko @missannwinchester @cannolighost @anxiousankylosaurus @montenegroisr @97cityy @lillyrob @billyloomiswhore4 @cloudroomblog @boysddontcry @blackvelveteen1339 @twsssmlmaa @call-me-doll-facee @str84pedro

All Joel: @ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea. @evyiione. ty @dark-scape for the support as usual.

Lmk if i missed you. Idk why some are buggy.

-

You don’t hear from Joel for days.  The first day, you’re a mess of feelings, pinballing between numb and smitten.  

You feel like you don't really know anyone in your life.  The people you thought were closest are perfect strangers.  You don't trust anyone.  Your roommate is spending all her time with that friend of Chad’s.  Your friend from home is on a trip overseas and won’t be back until the day after Independence Day.  You feel like you don’t have anyone to hang out with, talk to, or even sit in silence with.  You’re lonely and pensive.  

On the other end of the spectrum, your mind (and body) frequently drift to that long-awaited kiss, and everything that happened in that hotel suite.  You almost feel like if you can sleep with Joel, everything will be right in the world, even when it’s all wrong.  Even when he’s part of what’s wrong.  You know it’s illogical.  

-

One afternoon, for a change of scenery, you go to the bookstore with the cafe where you work.  Maybe you’re clinging to the last bit of familiarity that’s left.  On the bulletin board at the entrance, there’s a flyer for Chad's band playing at your favorite spot.  That must be why he originally came by the cafe the other day.  

While you’re in the middle of the bookstore, you get a text from Joel and your face burns when you open it. It’s a disappearing dick pic.  Not just his dick. It’s a blow job POV including his dick.  “Your souvenir,” he says, like that’s all that happened.    Your blood boils but also rushes to your loins.  

That’s all he has to say to you?  You respond, “really?” He’s trying to act like that whole car ride never happened.  

“Wanna talk about it?” he responds.  It’s nice that he offers, and your heart probably swells a little too much at the basic decency, but you’re actually not sure you want to talk about it.  You’re almost afraid to find out more.  You already wish you could rewind and live in blissful ignorance. 

-

After an exhausting day of stewing and sulking, you decide to go to Chad’s show.  It feels pathetic, but who cares? The way you see it, you don’t have anything to lose.  Chad can’t hurt you anymore.  It’s hard to imagine anyone who could.  You text Chad to let him know you’re coming.  He doesn’t text you back.  

When you get to the venue, you don’t see anyone you know, at first.  There’s still another band to play before them, so they should be hanging out near the merch table and you make your way over there.   Finally, you see their drummer behind the cash box, then you see Chad’s hair from the back.  The drummer says something to Chad, then Chad looks over at you.   Your stomach turns when you see his face.  You can only see half of it, but there’s a gauze bandage across his eyebrow and upper cheekbone.  His mouth is scabbed over.  Joel.  Chad makes himself scarce as soon as he sees you. 

You finally respond to Joel, “not really.” And that’s that.  But you don’t know how you’re going to face him or your dad when you go home for the holiday.  

-

On Independence Day, you’re so anxious that you drive right past the turn onto Joel’s street.  You don’t forget, you just decide not to turn.  You go to your friend’s house, even though you know she isn’t there.  It’s a familiar place to park your car and try to calm yourself down.  You sit there for almost an hour doing nothing but scrolling tumblr and listening to music.   

When you don’t arrive at the barbecue, your dad and Joel separately call you and you don’t answer either of them.  Based on your degree of dread with each respective call, you realize your dad is the one you least want to see.  You’re not really harboring much negativity toward Joel at this point.  

Frank texts you and you finally take a deep breath and decide to show up.  Your plan is to detach as much as possible and let yourself leave as soon as you’re uncomfortable. 

-

You pull up to Joel’s house wearing a bikini and the flannel with a change of clothes in your Billy Loomis tote.  Pretty much everyone is already at Joel’s house.  Tommy and Maria, Bill and Frank, your dad and stepmother, a couple of Joel’s neighbors, and two of your dad’s work friends, rounding out the requisite hot old guys (HOGs), according to your friend, at least. One of the HOGs, Steve, always looks at you like a piece of meat.  You used to think he was just an old  creep, but now he strikes you as a bit of a DILF. 

A light breeze carries the smell of propane and pork butt as you approach the pool gate.  Only Frank is in the pool.  You’ll probably hang out with him the whole time.  Joel is at the grill in swim trunks and t-shirt, talking to one of your father’s work friends.  He doesn't even look up when you open the gate.  His swim trunks sure do show a lot of thigh. 

Your stepmother is all over your dad.  You pry him off with a hug out of spite and to face your fears.  Then, you go to the grill and hug Joel from the side. It’s way too hot to stand there long.

“There she is,” Tommy announces on the other side of the grill.  He’s talking to a guy you don’t recognize who turns around and does a double-take.  

“This is Jesse, he works with your dad.” 

He extends his hand and says “I’ve heard a lot about you.”  

“Hmm, that sounds ominous." You can imagine being very attracted to Jesse even a week ago, but suddenly you don't have interest in anyone under 40.  

"Well I heard you like to swim, at least. I didn't wanna swim alone," Jesse says.

-

Frank has a tray at the side of the pool with a glass of wine and his phone on it.  He puts his glass of wine down when you walk up. 

"Thank God, I've been drinking by myself," he says. 

"And what kind of pairing is this for your pork butt?" you tease him as you sit down on the edge and put your feet in.   Bill just barely raises his glass to wave at you.  He's sitting alone under the shade of an umbrella, wearing khakis and a button-down shirt. 

"Hey I think I have this shirt," Frank says, and takes the flannel between his thumb and finger.  He studies it contemplatively for a moment.  You catch up with Frank for a while.  

-

You call over to the grill, "Joel are you gonna swim?" 

"I'm on butt duty," he says. 

Frank gives you an inquisitive look then asks if you're gonna get in.  

You put your stuff down on a chair, take the shirt off, and start applying sunscreen.  Joel watches as you rub it into your bikini top. Then you turn around to give him a side view as you rub it into the part of your butt cheeks hanging out of the bottoms. 

Jesse moseys over within seconds and takes off his shirt. And well, damn.  When Jesse raises his eyebrows at you, you realize you've been staring while lazily reaching over your shoulder and applying sunscreen.  You were really just looking at his tattoos.  Mostly. 

“Nice ink,” you say.  

"Need a hand?" He asks. Why not? You hand Jesse the sunscreen and watch his face as he squirts some into his palm. He bites his lip. 

You turn around facing the pool – facing Joel – and stretch out one leg in front of you, keeping the other bent, while Jesse rubs lotion into your back.  He doesn’t do  it in an erotic way, but you curl your toes and subtly bite your lip as though it is. You let your legs fall open a bit. 

You lower yourself into the pool and have small talk with Jesse for a minute, then Joel says your real name for once and it makes your eyes go wide. He doesn't say it that loud but you still hear him from across the pool.  "Gimme a hand?" He asks. 

Jesse stays in the pool and awkwardly makes small talk with Frank. 

-

Joel watches in the reflection of his big living room windows as you lift yourself out of the pool and get a towel.  You follow him inside to the small, secondary kitchen and he closes the door behind you..

He pins you up against the counter, already aroused, and further hardens against your wet swimsuit, flooding you with desire from your core to your chest.  

"Havin' fun?" He growls in your ear. 

"Don't tell me that made you jealous."

"Turned me on," he says, low and horny. 

He kisses your chin, then your neck.  Your hands wrap around him and grab his ass, pulling him into you harder with your own soft grunt.  

He slips his hand under the damp cup of your bikini top, his fingers curving around the side of your breast, thumb resting at your cleavage.  His warm palm pushes your cold, hard nipple as he firmly cradles your breast, his hand applying slow pressure in rhythm with his hips.  Your knees are weak.  You're dripping, not just from the pool.  

He wraps his arms around you and slides his warm hands into the sides of your swimsuit bottom, grabbing hold of your cold ass cheeks. He groans, "God almighty.”  

He kneads your ass, pulling you into him and his rock-hard length.  He kisses your neck and grinds himself into you.  The feeling of his warm, thick rod slowly rutting against your clit drives you mad.  You couldn’t get any wetter.  If you don't have this man inside you soon, you might actually die. You reach into his shorts and use your other hand to try to take them down.  He doesn't stop you. 

But there’s a knock at the door.  Good Lord.  You know who it's going to be.

Joel puts his dick away and removes a big pan of coleslaw from the fridge.  He hands you the coleslaw while you open the door.  

"Am I interrupting anything?" She asks. 

"No," You say, then cock your head and add  "Am I?"  You hold eye contact for several seconds, then hand her the cole slaw and ask, "don't you and Dad have some catching up to do?" 

Your stepmother takes the coleslaw outside.  

You close the door behind her.  “Basement?,” you ask, and start toward the pantry at the back of the space.  There’s a hidden staircase that opens into the movie theater downstairs. 

Joel groans and rubs his beard.  “Later,” Joel says with a sigh.  “We better go back out.”

You scoff.  “Really?” 

“Go on back outside.” He opens the door to the main kitchen.  

-

When you get back to the pool, Jesse's already gone, talking to your dad.  When you get back in, Frank says, "You little minx."  He's got Instagram pulled up on his phone and shows you a picture from several years ago of Joel and him together,  both wearing the shirt you arrived in.  "Tell me everything."

Your face gets hot.  “Seems to be a popular shirt,” you say. 

"No," Frank says. "Shirt's just the kicker. There's something about the way you say each other's names. They sound like a secret."  Frank is good at reading people.

"What, you think I fucked him? I didn't." At least you don't have to lie about that. 

"Maybe not yet," he scoffs.  Frank looks behind you and covers his mouth, then says “Look at his shirt."  Yeah, Joel’s shirt has just the right wet spots.  In theory, they could've been from a hug. It basically was a hug.  

"Ever heard of a hug?" you say. 

Frank raises his eyebrows then holds up his glass of wine and "accidentally" clinks his wedding ring on it before downing the rest.  Bill hears it and comes over with the bottle.  Frank gives him a look with the slightest nod across the pool, like he can't even wait a couple hours to share his new gossip.  Bill's eyes dart over to Joel, then meet Frank's eyes again. As usual, no reaction is visible on Bill's face, aside from a twinkle in his eye.  "Everything to your liking, sir?" he asks Frank.  

Frank smiles, "Come on, at least dip your feet," but Bill leaves. Just as well, Frank's not done prodding you. 

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me," Frank shrugs.  "But I know you want to. . . and my lips are sealed. . ."  

Frank is one of the most trustworthy people you know, so you don't worry about him spilling it.  You just don’t feel like saying it out loud and putting words to it.  Once it exists in the air, it’s something that can be broken. Something that can fall apart.  

You panic and tell Frank about Joel and your stepmother instead.  You claim you're just keeping Joel close for now while you decide what to do.  You leave out any details about what close means.  

The initial look on his face is horror, then Frank looks like he's going to cry.  "Are you okay?" 

"Chill," you say, looking around nervously. "Jesus, how much wine have you had?" 

"Sorry, I just.  I'm sorry.  I know it's hard.  That's all."  He hugs you, and over Frank’s shoulder, you see Joel looking across the pool with his brow furrowed even more than usual.

"Well, don't forget my dad cheated on my mom with her, so, whatever," you say.

"Well, exactly. That's why I worry-" 

Your face tells him to stop, so he changes the subject.  "So what about that guy from the band, is that still a thing?"

You sigh.  "Chad? No. Nothing juicy, just no."

"Got it," he says and you know you can trust him not to bring it up again.  He follows your eyes back to Joel.   You’re not off the hook, but at least you don’t have to talk about it.  

-

The actual meal is relatively uneventful. It’s hard to be around your father right now.  Deep down, you knew there were secrets.  You knew he wasn’t the most upstanding man.  You never fully trusted him after what he did to your mom.  But at this point, he feels like a stranger.  You’re almost glad his wife is cheating on him.  

Steve, the hotter of your dad’s non-Joel friends, tries hitting on you.  Asks if you like to party.  Says he bets you get pretty wild after a few drinks.  Pressures you to do shots with him.  Why not, you think.  You do one shot, but make Joel join in.  

“Bad fuckin’ influence over here,” Joel says and gives Steve a slap on the back.  Steve tries to egg you on to do more, but you don’t and neither does Joel.  

"That's why we call him Mr. One Shot," Jesse says. laughing at his own joke. 

Joel bristles at the nickname and crosses his arms, jamming his hands under his ungodly biceps.

Steve lowers his voice and asks Joel,  "How many shots in Uvalde?" Joel doesn’t answer. 

"One," Jesse says. "Miller’s too modest, you're embarrassing him," he laughs. 

Joel tenses. "Give it a rest, Jesse. Have some discretion." 

Jesse looks at your end of the table and swallows. “Right”

Your stepmother abruptly changes the subject.   She asks Jesse how old he is and why she hasn’t seen him before. She’s drunk, and every time she looks at Jesse, she looks like she could eat him alive. 

Your dad elbows Jesse.  “I think my wife likes you,” he says with a wink.  It’s awkward. 

-

Joel’s face is a little pink from the sun, and it looks good on him.  He’s looking at your face, but not making eye contact. He seems to be in a trance.  You kind of feel like you should still be mad at him, but for some reason, you’re not.  And you’re not going to deprive yourself out of spite.  You can feel Frank noticing every detail of this.  

Bill pours the last of a bottle of wine, and you volunteer to go to the wine cellar.  Bill says they’ve had enough.  Frank protests that he wants one more glass.  He asks you for a German Riesling, with a wink.  You subtly shake your head at him, falsely denying what he knows you’re up to.  

-

You stand in the wine cellar, enjoying the cool air, then sit on a cabinet that spans the whole back wall.  It’s only a few minutes before you hear Joel’s flip flops echoing down the stairs, presumably with the pretext of helping you find the wine.  He crosses the cellar without even glancing at the wine.  “Leavin’ for the fireworks in 15,” he says.  

He has that horny look in his eyes and there’s already a bulge in his swim trunks. The way his t-shirt stretches over his pecs and arms — God damn. 

When Joel reaches you, his massive hands part your knees, then lightly stroke your bare thighs.  His lips brush your temple as he says, “You’re gonna get me in trouble one of these days.” 

“That’s the idea,” you say as his hands wrap around your back and he slides you closer to the edge of the cabinet.  When your crotch comes to rest against his, an acute desire floods your breasts.  You squeeze his sides with your thighs, then roll your hips into his arousal and hook your hands under his arms, bringing him closer.  

You slide your hands down his back and into his swim trunks, feeling his ass and bringing the trunks down.  At the same time, you pull his hips into you and the swell of his hard-on against your clit makes you throb with need.  You start to untie your bikini bottoms while he gropes a breast.

His mouth latches onto your neck. You let the front of the bottoms fall between your thighs, and tilt your hips in just the right way. He brings a hand between your legs and drags his flattened fingers up and down your slippery seam, then thrusts two of them inside and you moan. 

“Fuuck,” he breathes.  

You grab his cock.  “Come on,” you beg as you tug him.  He takes his hard length from you, holds it in his hand, and furrows his brow as he pumps his fingers slowly in and out of you.  You try to read his face.  He breathes heavily as he fingers you.   

“Fuck me already,” you beg.  

He looks down at himself and shakes his head no, but looks pained by his own answer.  

“We both know it’s gonna happen,” you say.

He takes a deep breath as though to restrain himself.  “Maybe so, but not tonight.” 

He removes his fingers and brings the tip of his cock to your dripping entrance.  A bolt of need shoots through you.  He dwells there for a moment, takes another deep breath, then lays his stiff manhood vertically against your seam and pulls you tight against him.  Then he grinds wetly against your aching clit, and your hips roll into him.  Your head falls back and you moan.  Your eyes are watery.  

“God, Joel. . .this is . . .so dumb. . . just fu-” 

You cut yourself off with a moan as he quickens his pace and grunts.

“Pleeease.” 

“Shhhhhhh,” he says.  You’re on the verge of coming and on the verge of tears. He holds you tight for leverage then goes jackhammer pace. 

“Joel. . .”

“Come for me, sugar,” he pants.  And not long after, you do.  You clench around nothing, pulse against him, and you hear the echo of a breathy “Joel” you didn’t know you said.  

He takes his cock in his hand again and looks at you with his pupils blown wide. His breath is ragged as he strokes himself.  You find yourself slipping down off the cabinet.  He doesn’t deserve what you’re about to do, you just want it for yourself, for whatever reason.  He steps back and you squat down to face level with his cock.  You hover your mouth over it, then wrap your lips around the head, and he comes with an echoing groan before you take any of the shaft into your mouth.  His cum even tastes unattainable.  Your eyes sting. 

You fix your swimsuit and compose yourself.  

“C’mere,” he says and hugs you.  You don't really hug him back.  You wipe a tear off your cheek.  He tries to kiss you, but you’re too upset, and it would make you need him even worse than you already do.  

-

Joel’s phone rings and he picks it up.  “We’re comin’,” he says.  “C’mon, let’s go.”  He puts his arm around you but your demeanor doesn’t soften.  You’ve had it with him depriving you.

“Ya know, maybe it’s a good night to talk to my dad,” you threaten as you near the top of the stairs.  

“Damn, Trouble.” You can't tell if he’s impressed or judging you.  “I said not tonight. I didn’t say never.”  

That makes you think twice, at which point you realize what you just did. . .You tried to blackmail Joel for sex. 

He adjusts his shorts.  God, what’s become of this situation in just a few days - you try to put it out of your mind.  You can beat yourself up over it later. 

Joel stops you with his hand on yours before you open the door. “Look,” he continues.  “Before you do anything stupid, there’s somethin’ I should tell you later.”  

You lean against the wall and cross your arms.  “Lemme guess, you and Dad are up to some shady, dangerous shit.” 

“Nothin’ to do with that,” Joel says, lowering his voice. 

“So you are.” 

“Dangerous, yes, shady, no. We’re the good guys. Less you know ‘bout that, the better.” 

“Why?”

“For your safety.” 

You open the door to the living room and people are milling around deciding who’s riding with whom to the fireworks.  Frank says, “hey, she didn’t get bricked in,” and hands you your bag from outside so you can change.  

-

You and Joel ride with Bill and Frank to the fireworks. Frank keeps looking back and making small talk, but you and Joel mostly look out your opposite windows. You get to thinking about what Joel said.   Not tonight. . . I didn’t say never. . . If he means that, maybe it’s worth the wait.  Maybe you should hear him out, whatever he has to tell you.

During the fireworks, you come around a little.  Joel playfully covers your ears, knowing you’ve always hated loud noises.   When Bill and Frank drop you off at Joel’s afterwards, everyone is going their separate ways.  You're relieved to see your dad and stepmother drive off before you have to say goodbye.   

You start to go to your car, wanting to quit while you're ahead and not end up begging for it again. Joel stops you with gentle hands on your shoulders.

"Come in for a minute. Let's talk." A pit opens in your stomach. 

The two of you go in through the pool gate.  “Lemme make you a drink,” he says.  That sounds even worse.

. . .

Joel hands you your favorite cocktail, then comes around the bar with his own drink to sit on the stool next to you.  He takes a deep breath and puts his hand on your knee.  He seems almost as nervous as you are. You can't remember seeing him nervous before.  

“Yeah?” you prompt him.  

He nods and takes a sip of his drink, then looks you in the eye.  He puts his glass down, then takes yours out of your hand and puts it down on the counter too.  

He swivels you toward each other.  He looks like he's about to say something, then something changes in his eyes.  He cradles your head with both hands, lays his lips into yours, and kisses you slow and hard, his tongue dipping into your mouth. 

After a few seconds, you don’t even notice the taste of his whiskey, and his hands trace your body on their way down to your thighs.  It’s intense but tender.  You can’t help but feel like it’s some kind of a kiss goodbye.  It scares you.  He slides off the stool and gets in between your knees, tries to put your legs around him again, and that’s certainly where your legs want to go.  But you want to hear what he has to say first. 

You pull away and your hand drifts up to your lips.  They buzz from his fervor.  Your chest rises and falls.

“Spit it out,” you tell him.   

“Right," he says.  "I dunno if you’re still gonna wanna. . .”  He downs his drink.  It’s hard for you to imagine anything that would make you not want to fuck him anymore.  

Finally, he begins.  "Alright. . . ‘member what I said at lunch the other day, 'bout how monogamy isn’t for everyone?"

"Yeah." If this is all to say it’s not for him, it’s not hitting like much of a bombshell.  Now, if he's going to tell you about other people he's fucking–when he's not even fucking you—that's a different story. 

"Well," he clears his throat and looks away.  "Your dad-"  

You interrupt him with a loud sigh.  "Just because he cheats doesn't mean you can sleep with his wife."  You’re annoyed he’s even going there.  

Joel holds up his hands as though to tell you to slow down.  "Lemme finish.  'member what I said, how even in a marriage, some couples. . . ."  He tries to make you fill in the blanks for yourself, but you won't. "Okay,”  he shifts in his seat and begins to gesticulate vaguely.  “Your dad and stepmother, they have an arrangement."  

You feel the blood drain from your face.  You think about the way she was eyeing Jesse. "Gross," you say.

He swallows and nods regretfully as you process this.  He waits patiently as your heart races along with your thoughts, then you spill them out all at once.  "I dunno why I would believe you. OR why you would believe her.  Is that what she told you?”  You laugh.  “Whatever. Even if it's true, you aren't just any guy-"

"He knows," Joel says almost somberly. “About me.”

"Oh, he knows?" you laugh. He couldn't possibly. This is a terrible attempt at defusing the whole situation for himself.  And yet, he looks like he feels bad for you. 

"The first time, he talked me into it." 

Deep breaths.  "That's insane.  That's. . .this is your new plan? Try to convince me my dad is some perverted cuckold?"

"No, not like that." He shivers in disgust. "Damn, Trouble. That's where your head went? No. . . when he. . .it was like. . . a swap.” 

Your stomach turns.  

“Okay, remember my date to Bill and Frank's wedding?  The stripper?”  Your heart sinks.  “Your dad, um, really liked her, and-"

"I get the picture," you say, closing your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose, recalling that your dad did in fact really like Joel's date.  It was embarrassing.  

"It was casual with me and. Shit, what was her name. Anyway, we were all stayin' in that hotel gettin' sloshed at the pool, an-"

You open your eyes and say, "Yeah, I got it, okay?" Then, you walk over to the sofa to sit down.  He follows you.  You feel sick to your stomach and don't want to hear another word about it.  You cross your arms and slouch, sitting in silence for a moment.  

He hesitantly puts his hand on your knee, sending a rush of blood to your loins. You don’t know what to feel.

"Did you really end it with her?" You ask. 

He sighs.  "More or less." 

Now rage starts simmering in your chest. 

"Told her I wanted a break.”

Unbelievable.

“That just — it lessens the blow.  But trust me, I'm not doin' it again. Especially after how she’s been actin’." 

You wish you could believe him. 

You ask, "Why'd you let me think it was some huge secret?"

He's quiet for a moment.

"I don’t think your dad would appreciate you knowin’ about it," he says.  "But I was gonna tell you anyway."

“Yeah, right.” 

“‘Yeah. . . ‘member all those calls you ignored?”  

“But then I got to thinkin’ about it, and I guess. . . .” 

"What?”

"I," he pauses and sighs.  "Shit, I dunno, it was hot.  Really hot.  The way you acted, thinkin' you had somethin' over me. . .never saw that side of you before."

Now this you can believe.

"Next day, still thought about tellin’ ya.  But after the pool, there was no goin’ back.  I mean, damn."  

There’s a sparkle in his eye as he reflects on that.  He adjusts himself, which always makes you tingle, even now.  Especially now?  God, you have no idea.  

"Guess it kinda did somethin' to me,” he says.  He raises his eyebrows and gives your thigh a rub, but you flinch.  It isn’t personal, you’re just on edge, but his eyes get sad and he takes his hand away, resting it in his lap as he sits back lazily on the couch. 

You ask, "So why tell me now?"

"I dunno, maybe I'm growin' a conscience."  

You try to make sense of that, but you can’t.  Why would he feel guilty about you doing something as depraved as blackmailing him into sex?  

"Woulda been hot as hell though.  Maybe I shoulda let ya go through with it.  Damn.” 

It sounds like everything is up to him, and apparently, it is.  

He hesitantly rests his hand on your back and slowly rubs it.  You take a deep breath and sigh audibly.  You’re melting under his fingertips.  

He lowers his voice, “So, now that you know everything . . .”

His phone buzzes.  When he looks at it, he tenses and sharply inhales.

“Your dad’s here,” he says.

And your car is still parked outside in the turnaround.

-

Planning for the next chapter to be the last in this story. . .

[milaisreading]

Random scenarios between the manager and Blue Lock (pt 1)

Characters: Isagi, Bachira, Chigiri, Kunigami, Gagamaru, Baro, Reo and Nagi

Pt II will include: Yukimiya, Otoya, Hiori, Karasu, Rin and Kurona

Idk, thought of this randomly and I am sorry that it's this long for no reason. Requests are open if anyone wants to!

Warning ⚠️: Y/n is used with she/her. Possible manga spoilers.

⚽️Blue Lock is owned by:  Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

Part II

Isagi:

"Do you need help with that, (Y/n)?" The girl turned to look in the direction the familiar voice came from, shaking her head with a smile.

"It's alright, Isagi. The boxes aren't heavy, go and rest. It's not everyday Ego-san shows mercy and let's you rest." (Y/n) said as the boy frowned a little. Shaking his head, he walked to where one of the boxes was and took it.

"It's really nothing. Friends are there to help, and I do feel kind of guilty that you can't rest." He admitted with a blush. The statement surprised the girl and she smiled back softly.

"I don't mind, it's in my contract after all. And besides, I am trying to do my best to make it easy on you guys as well. Being the future champions of Japan is a big burden!"

"Champions? You think we have a chance at winning?" Isagi asked, surprised at how confident she was in them. It warmed his heart knowing there was someone who believed in him even if he didn't.

"Of course! You guys are doing great, and with the talents you all are polishing you will be unstoppable at the World Cup! Trust me." (Y/n)'s grin along with her words caused the boy's face to turn a brighter red and a new sense of confidence took over his body.

"Thanks! I promise to not disappoint your expectations!"

"I know you won't!" (Y/n) nodded her head.

'I promise to get the Cup! Then I will ask (Y/n) out.' Isagi nodded to himself, a new goal already formed in his head.

Bachira:

"Bachira, come on! It's getting late and you need to sleep too." (Y/n) said, trying to get the boy off of the ground, but he wouldn't budge. It was already late and (Y/n) just wanted to clean everything up and go to sleep. Knowing how Ego is, he was probably judging her behind one of the cameras.

"No! I want to still play and train!"

"Is your monster telling you that?" (Y/n) wondered out loud as the boy kept quiet. She already got used to the talk of the monster and in Blue Lock nothing can really surprise her anymore, so asking about the monster came like a 2nd instinct to her.

"No... I just want to do better." Bachira said, hiding a small blush. It still amazed him how little she cared about the monster and acted like it's a normal thing. Unlike all the other people he met out and in Blue Lock.

"You are already great! Bachira, you need to rest too. Wanting to become great is a good thing here, but with no rest you will never achieve it." (Y/n) argued, but the boy still wouldn't budge. The girl thought for a moment, then went to pick up a ball from nearby.

'If you can't beat him, then join in.' She thought, kicking the ball towards the boy.

"Huh?" Bachira thought, picking the balk up and looking at the girl.

"How about this, I will help you train everyday for 30 minutes and then you go to sleep? Is that good?" Bachira looked at her in confusion for a moment, but soon after grinned and jumped up, kicking the ball back.

"Alright! It's a deal!"

'She is all I need to keep calm... my monster loves her and so do I. I can't wait till I win the World Cup and ask her out!'

Chigiri:

Excitedly, (Y/n) ran down the hallway to look for her red haired friend, package held tightly against her chest. She had been waiting for the item for weeks, and she was more than happy to know it came before the U-20 match.

'It's here! Teieri-san was right when she said it will be fast! Chigiri will love this!' She thought, running to the cafeteria where she eventually found the boy eating.

"Chigiri! I got something for you!"

Surprised, the boy looked up from his plate as (Y/n) stood in front of him, holding out the mysterious box to him.

"What... what is that? I didn't order anything." Chigiri argued, his face going a bright red when he looked at (Y/n) more closely.

'She looks so pretty today...'

"I know! I ordered it... well Teieri-san did since she is the one with the money... but that doesn't matter! Here, open it please!"

Confused, Chigiri took the box and slowly opened it. His expression turned into a shocked one, inside was a red knee brace and he took it out to inspect it.

"Where... where did you find that?" Chigiri asked, noticing it had his initials on the inside.

"I showed it to Teieri-san after I looked for a way to make your running easier, and she agreed to use the funds to buy it! The company even offered some personal touches as well. Hope you like it!" (Y/n) grinned excitedly as Chigiri kept quiet for a moment, unsure what to say. He was really touched that someone outside his family cared this much, not to mention it was the same girl he had liked for the past few months.

"I... I love it. Thank you, I will make sure to wear it whenever I can."

As (Y/n) was cheering him on, Chigiri couldn't help a fond smile as he looked up at her.

'Yes, she is the one I want. Coming and staying in Blue Lock was the best decision. I love her so much that I don't think I can hold it in till the World Cup.' He sighed.

Kunigami:

"Why are you eating alone? I am used to seeing Isagi and Chigiri with you." (Y/n) said as she sat across Kunigami, who nervously swallowed his food down.

"They went to sleep, I stayed a little later than usually to train."

(Y/n) nodded her head, sliding her noodles to him.

"Huh?"

"You need the food more than I do right now. Besides, I ate a lot during lunch today." The girl explained as the boy looked around the place, then back at her.

"You sure Ego-san won't get mad?"

"It won't be the first time. I stopped counting the amount of times Nagi stole food from me." (Y/n) shrugged her shoulders as Kunigami took the bowl, grateful for the extra food.

"Thank you... and thanks for the help. We don't tell you that often." He said with a tint of red on his cheeks.

"You really don't need to thank me, watching you all play is rewarding enough. Can't wait till I see you guys bring Japanese football to the next level! That will be exciting!"

The answer surprised the boy and he slowly nodded his head. A comforting silence fell among them and Kunigami kept sending the girl a few short glances.

'She looks prettier than normally... I really hope we stay close after Blue Lock. Maybe in a year or so I could ask her out properly.'

Gagamaru:

"Good job, Gagamaru! You did great out there! The save was amazing!" The boy blushed as (Y/n) patted his back. It wasn't a everyday thing that anyone paid this much attention to him. He was mostly silent and on the goal, not scoring and usually out of the attention radar. Well, except from Ego and (Y/n)'s, who paid attention to him for different reasons. Ego to either point out his flaws or sometimes compliment him in a weird way. (Y/n) meanwhile watched him always in a encouraging and warm way, a way that made him want to do better, show off his skills.

"Y-you think so?" The boy wondered as he wiped off his sweat.

"Yeah! You are so ready for the U-20 match! They won't know what hit them when they see you on the goal!" (Y/n) told him. Her words meant a lot more to him than (Y/n) could imagine, and je was kind of greatful for Reo coming over to pull (Y/n) away for some reason. Gagamaru watched her and sighed dreamily.

'If only I wasn't so silent... but soon I will open up. I just need to prove myself first.' Gagamaru nodded to himself.

Baro:

"Why do the towels smell so differently?" Baro wondered and looked straight at (Y/n) as she picked up the empty water bottles. The girl stopped in her tracks and thought for a moment.

"Oh! I forgot that I am using a new detergent now. That's why it smells differently."

"A new detergent?" Baro questioned.

"You complained a week ago that the detergent smelled bad and made the towels rougher than necessary. After inspecting them I asked Ego-san to switch them out. Thank God Teieri-san was there to help me." Baro kept quiet for a moment as he stared at (Y/n), making the girl more nervous than needed.

"Is that not good either? I made sure to get the extra softening one."

"No! No it's fine, I just didn't expect you to care enough for it this much." Baro said, sounding genuinely dumbfounded.

"My job is to take care of your issues, and you are my friend. So why wouldn't I care." (Y/n) shrugged, going back to her previous duties as Baro sighed and smelled the towel a little more.

'My queen is always making sure I am doing great. Can't wait till I make everything official. She will have the best of the best.'

Reo:

Reo walked through the hallway as he held a box with some baked goods his parents had sent him. It wasn't normal for Ego to allow presents inside, but after the victory over U-20, he became more lenient. So now once a month they could get some baked goods from the outside.

'Where is she... I hope she will like them. I asked my mom to find the best bakery in the city.'

The boy opened the door to one of the training rooms and sighed in relief when he saw (Y/n) there taking notes.

"(Y/n)! Are you busy?" The boy asked as the girl turned around to look at Reo in surprise.

"Reo?! Not at all, did you need something?" (Y/n) wondered as the boy jogged over to her, handing her the box.

"Not really! I just wanted to give you this! Hope you like them." Reo said as he blushed. (Y/n) looked at the box in surprise and took it slowly.

"For me? Strange, I already got the package from my parents."

"This is from my parents. I asked them to get these for you... as a thank you gift." Reo said, sounding bashful as he watched (Y/n) open the box, gasping when she saw the cupcakes inside.

"Reo! This is too much! They look like those expensive ones advertised on the internet! Why would you do this?!" (Y/n) asked, sounding genuinely embarrassed.

"You do a lot for us...and I wanted to thank you in some way. And this is my way of doing so. Just take them, please." Reo insisted, and after a minute or two (Y/n) finally agreed.

"I owe you one." She muttered as she took a bite from one of the cupcakes and the boy shook his head as he ate one too, after (Y/n) forced him to take it.

'Typical... she never let's anyone take care of her. But I will show (Y/n) that she can always rely on me. I will keep doing it as long as it takes for her to realize she deserves it.' Reo sighed, already planning something else.

Nagi:

Nagi groaned as he hid in a nearby storage room. Out of Ego's short neglect, the boy had escaped the training room and found safety in the abandoned corner of the building. He really didn't wish to leave training today, since (Y/n) was there, but he barely got any sleep the past week. It was all because of his ever-growing crush on the girl, he felt like his heart would explode when he was around her, and at night it became hard to sleep because of it.

'Stupid feelings...' Nagi groaned, closing his eyes shut as he heard the doorknob rattle. He groaned inwardly, prepared for a scolding from Ego or whoever it was, but nothing came of it.

"Did you find him, (Y/n)?" Reo's voice was heard and Nagi resisted the urge to open his eyes and look at the girl.

'Great...' The boy thought, expecting her to say yes.

"Uhh... no. Just some old brooms."

'Huh? Did he just lie?' Nagi thought in shock as he heard Reo groan and walking off to a different place. He heard (Y/n) sigh and she walked closer to Nagi's frozen form.

"I know you are awake. Go and take a nap, I will deal with Ego-san."

"And why would you do that?" Nagi asked suspiciously, opening one eye as (Y/n) shrugged her shoulders.

"You need rest, that's quite obvious. I want you to be healthy and well-rested, not half dead. Just go, Nagi." (Y/n) said and walked out to go and talk with Ego.

The boy stared at the entrance as his face turned a bright red and he hid his face with his hands.

'I think I really do love her even more now!'

[knichii]

OK. does anyone else feel irritated that eng dub seems to be favoured in mha? in edits, in fics, it's clear most people watched dub and idk it's been rlly grinding my gears.

okay, to get this out the way, I don't like mha's eng dub. I don't like any of them. half don't fit their characters, 75% of the time the tone lands forced and awkward, and its literally just unbearable for me to watch I'm sorry. I have this issue with a lot of anime and cartoons so this isn't solely a my hero problem, but this is definitely the most severely I've disliked a dub. and yet I cannot escape it.

one of my biggest issues is the nuance that's lost in translation. anyone with any familiarity with the Japanese language will know what I mean. list of examples:

HONORIFICS

1. iida refers to class 1-A with '-kun'

2. yaoyorozu refers to class 1-A with '-san'

3. asui refers to class 1-A with '-chan'

3. deku with '-kun' (m) & '-san' (f)

that says SO MUCH about their characters, how they view their relationships, how they view themselves,, but in dub?? all of that's lost. ESP the significance of deku still calling bkg 'kacchan'. [simplified, '-chan' is used for cute/endearing things. it stemmed from children mispronouncing '-san', and became a childish, cutesy way of calling someone, usually someone you're VERY familiar with. it implies a shocking ammount of intimacy] thru years of bullying, all the rocks and straight up non existent road of their relationship, deku STILL calls him 'kacchan', the ONLY one allowed to do so ("but kaminari--" NEENAWNEENAWNEENAW).

in eng dub it gets reduced to a mere nickname, lacking all of its weight.

another thing is bakugou sub vs dub (...)

URGGGGGGHHHH

the most recent example is when bkg says "of course you pulled it off, Icyhot." (I forgot the context tho) in sub, he says "of course you pulled it off, TODOROKI".

THATS SUCH A NICHE, SUBTLE WAY OF SHOWING HIS DEVELOPMENT THATS TOSSED STRAIGHT OUT THE WINDOW. translation (manga) also has him calling his seniors 'senpai' which is... not what he says in sub????? 'senpai' indicates respect for someone your senior,,,, which. bkg would never show. (or only in EXTREMELY rare cases, MAYBE)

there's also my peeve abt names. this may be an only me issue, but I don't like it when japanese names are written in western format (e.g Izuku Midoriya)... ("this guy cannot be fr rn" unfortunately yes I am). I don't have a reason for this, and I'm aware it's niche and irrational, but I always cringe a little when I'm reading a fic, that's SET IN JAPAN, and their names are written Given Name, Family Name. emphasis on SET IN JAPAN. THEY ARE JAPANESE. THEY ARE NOT AMERICAN.

bkg's hero name. his og one which was translated to King Explosion Murder, losing all of the wit and cleverness in the jp original. this post goes into more detail and is very cool check it out

slightly irrelevant but bkg's jp va, Okamoto Nobuhiko, like. wow. the bkdk fight? the voice cracks? the ANGUISH?? the softness in his voice when bkg was abt to die (the hallucination w all might) ??? like,, wow. the emotion is so much more raw than it's conveyed in eng

I've gotten off point. point is I WISH MORE PEOPLE APPRECIATED AND WATCHED IN JP SUB. IM SCREAMING INTO THE VOID AND MY OWN VOICE IS ECHOING BACK I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE.

(note: jjk was my first anime fandom so I'm probably spoiled. over there, sub seems to be favoured, barring a few iconic lines [ray chase lwk served as sukuna in the shibuya arc] and the fics, like 70% of the ones I read, used japanese honorifics and culture. in comparison, mha was a bit of a shock. the side of the fandom I washed up on is so... American??? maybe I'm in the wrong place idk. everything's just extremely white and slightly uncomfortable.)

this was a bit of a vent post,, obviously ik people are entitled to opinions (even if they're wrong), I js wanted tk if anyone else felt the same way

reading this back, I'm aware of how chronically online I am. yeah. still tho

[niceboyeds]

Omg Lys!!!! I'm so excited for you! Congrats on 500 followers!! You know I'm gonna have to request something 😘

26, Smut, Eddie pleeeease? 🥺

I love you!!!

26. “i wanna fuck you right against the glass so everyone can see how good you take it”

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

18+ MDNI

contains: this is all just smut, unprotected PIV (wrap it up ya nasties), semi public sex, possibility of getting caught, slight degradation, language, idk what else but lmk if you notice something i missed :)

word count: 586

~~~~~~

“bein’ awfully quiet over there Eds, what’s going on?” you ask your boyfriend with a slight blush present on your cheeks.

you knew that look, one all too familiar. the way he bites his bottom lip, the way his eyes glass over from his usual soft brown to dark and lustful.

“just thinking about how i wanna fuck you right against the glass so everyone can see how good you take it.” he smirks, knowing he’ll get exactly what he wants.

“oh yeah? tell me more…” you sit up, leaning your elbows on your knees, your eyes never leave his.

“mhm, i’d hold you to the window and take you from behind. i’d push your face against the glass so everyone who walks by sees what a fucking whore yo—”

“oh, sorry. did I say tell me? I meant show me.”

he doesn’t hesitate, abruptly standing up and launching himself on you. his lips smashing against yours like he’s been starved. the two of you practically rip off your clothes, not caring where they land in the room as long as they’re not on your bodies anymore.

with one last rough kiss, he pushes you towards the window. he presses his back to yours, your naked chest smashed against the glass giving your nipples just enough stimulation to have you already moaning. this position leaves nothing to the imagination for anyone who may walk by, you’re on full display.

you can feel yourself dripping down your thighs with anticipation, waiting for him eagerly to shove his thick and veiny cock into your aching hole.

he runs his dick over your wet creases and with one swift motion he slams into you. both of you moan loudly as he thrusts into you over and over and you press your palms against the window to help keep yourself upright.

“fuck baby, always so tight for me.” Eddie moans lowly in your ear, his hand coming down to rub over your sensitive clit. “n-not gonna last long if you keep—shit—keep clenching me like that.”

“m-maybe i don’t want you to—holy fuck Eds.” you cry out, his fingers moving faster and faster as his thrusts become slightly uneven. “maybe i want you to—oh my god— to cum in me and show everyone outside h-how i—” you can’t even find the words to finish your thought, too overwhelmed with pleasure as he once again slams into you with a force you’ve never experienced before.

“want everyone to see what a dumb little cum slut you are? want them to see how your pussy swallows all my cum as i push it into you over and over?” he mocks, knowing you can’t finish your own thoughts, too stupid on his cock to process anything other than the quick approach of your orgasm.

“y-yes! fuck Eddie, i’m gonna cu-cum!”

“yeah baby? gonna soak my cock? go on then, show the world how good you are for me.”

and you do, nearly collapsing to the ground as your knees give out. Eddie is quick to grab your waist to prevent you from falling. with a couple more thrusts he’s spilling into you, slowing his movements as he pushes his hot and stick spend into your abused cunt.

“you’re so good for me baby.” he kisses you gently after removing himself and picking you up to lay you into the bed. “always my good little slut.”

~~~~~~

did i get carried away…. maybe. but i hope you enjoy❤️

thank you so much Miles!!😭❤️❤️ i love you!!

celebration info

[austinslounge]

This may be a wild take but I kinda feel from last night, these two are already broken up. I think this was just a ploy to get the media off their backs about their break up. It's giving JLO and Ben Affleck. A ploy to buy some time.

I mean, how convenient that after not seeing them together for over a month and everyone speculating. Speculation that Kaia herself started with her actions. Page 6 (of all sources) says "there is no trouble in paradise" and then BAM! A paparazzi walk. Paparazzi that was called specifically by someone's PR team to make sure these two were seen together. No one else was at that show. Paul and Gracie are the new Austin and Kaia. And there were no pics of them leaving. It was Gracie's concert and nothing.

They don't look any different than they have all summer. But the fact Austin came straight from set to stand around at the concert. A concert he would never go to willingly. He only went to be seen with Kaia after the show. It's all to planned for it to not be on purpose.

I still think these two are done and a break up announcement will come in the coming months. Nothing about last night changed anyone's mind. Other then some of Austin's fans side eye him for still doing this with Kaia. Which I understand their frustration. I love Austin and I'm not going anywhere. But I can understand why people may need a small break. It is disappointing.

This may be a wild take but I kinda feel from last night, these two are already broken up. I think this was just a ploy to get the media off their backs about their break up. It's giving JLO and Ben Affleck. A ploy to buy some time.

This. ☝

I'm sorry, but Austin and Kaia aren't fooling anyone anymore. They certainly aren't fooling me. I can make excuses or suspend disbelief for a little while, but when I see a consistent pattern like I've been seeing this year, I'm sorry, but I can't ignore the fact that they haven't looked happy together in almost a year.

Nobody is buying it anymore:

Not only is it giving Ben & JLo, but it's giving Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart. Idk if anyone else out there was a huge Twi-hard like me back in the day lol, but I used to follow Rob and Kristen's relationship back then because I loved the Twilight films and I was a fan. I didn't ship them, but I just liked them as actors and followed their relationship.

Well, after the affair that Kristen had with her Snow White director (Rupert Sanders) in July 2012, she and Rob stuck it out for almost nearly a year, and even still did pap strolls together looking miserable until they finally called it quits in May of 2013.

Look at how they were still getting papped though in late April right before their breakup:

Look at the caption for the Daily mail. Sound familiar?? 😏

I'm saying all of this to say, that these celeb breakups may take longer to be official, or may take a while to get formally announced to the public.

Many times, there's always the denial of breakup rumors or several pap strolls of the couple together showing a united front before the actual breakup. Look at Ben and Jen.

I still think these two are done and a break up announcement will come in the coming months. Nothing about last night changed anyone's mind.

Oh a breakup is definitely coming. We just don't know when. But I totally agree w/you.

I love Austin and I'm not going anywhere. But I can understand why people may need a small break. It is disappointing.

I truly do love Austin too. 😩 That's the only reason why I'm even trying to understand this. It really hurts my heart that he almost seems depressed in this situationship that he has going on with Kaia rn. Even in pictures taken by locals he looks depressed with her. No excitement or joy whatsoever.

I'm not going anywhere either girl, I'm going to still stick it out with Austin, but I really do understand why some fans have chosen to check out of the fandom, or are disappointed in Austin. I get it. It's definitely frustrating. Especially when we know he can do so much better. 😔

[eddygoldarm]

Headcanon about the undead trio because I think this could make a cool story :

Mortis used to be a normal human like you and I, but he was always fascinated by death, probably because he lost a close one very suddently. He was considered as "the weird" cousin by his family, but he was liked enough (He mayyyybe was part of the Start family? He has the same haircut as Belle and Colt lol).

He studied death for many years, it wasn't a morbid obsession, but more of scientific one, he wanted to understand every facet of it. His knowledge and familiarity with death lead him to become a mortician. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), during one of his graveyard expeditions, he fell in a hole, and almost died. By chance, there were gems in that hole, and these allowed him to resurrect, but also to mutate.

Mortis became a vampire, well, not A VAMPIRE, but something really close. His body was more adapted to live at night, and he had a small control on the undead, but most importantly, he became immortal. This was probably one of the first cases of gem mutation ever recorded. Because of his mutation, his family started to reject him even more, but he didn't really care, with he newfound powers, he could now understand what it's like to be undead. He could possibly find the key to resurrection.

A few dozen years pass, Mortis lives as a hermit in the graveyard, slowly outliving all of his family members. While he is included in, he's losing all the ones he was close to, and the younger generations are too scared of him to approach him. Because of his loneliness, Mortis lost a lot of his flair, and went on full creepy vampire uncle-mode.

It's during this period that he manages to ressurect his first person, thus creating Frank. I'm not sure if Frank is a Frankenstein monster, or if he's just a regular zombie that happens to mook like it. He wasn't totally successfull though, as Frank can't speak and has difficulty with basic dexterity. It didn't matter to Mortis, for the first time in his life, he had a real friend. In reality, Frank couldn't stand Mortis because he almost treated him like a pet (Frank is limited, but not dumb.).

A little while later he also bonded very closely with his great-great niece (EMZ), she was also a bit of a weird girl (but in a cool way not like Mortis), and though having an undead goth uncle was awesome. As he watched her grow up, he regained his happiness, as well as his pride, completely endorsing his character as a cool dramatic vampire. He also started to treat Frank like a real person, and to really care about him.

Sadly, EMZ passed away very early, Mortis was devastated, and instead of moving on, he tried to resurrect her, and this time, it worked perfectly. Well, not really, while she could think, speak, and move around perfectly, EMZ's body had already started to decompose. She looked like a moving corpse.

This made her life miserable, as her schoolmates were mocking her constantly. She was also terrified of immortality, as she realized she was going to outlive all of her loved ones like her uncle did. EMZ started to resent him for what he did. She became some kind of a bully, she acted like a litteral monster to scare away people.

Mortis couldn't fix his mistake, but with the help of Frank, he managed to make her regain her confidence in herself (idk specifically how though). He promised he wasn't going to resurrect anyone anymore, and that he's gonna be there for her forever no matter what. And so EMZ, similarly to Mortis years ago, completely endorsed her role, becoming the goth emo zombie bad bitch we all know and love today.

Today they're all chill with each other, they all live together at the cemetary. Mortis is still a mortician, he's still dramatic but he calmed down with the necromancy stuff. Frank is an amateur DJ and EMZ is a popular beauty influencer, and she's now inspiring a lot of girls to embrace their differences and to show their true colors to everyone. Frank and EMZ roll their eyes at Mortis' bullshit but they still love him

Maybe it's a bit too sad.

[ficyorick]

hi. I have a question. In BE when Billy started to have a desire (or whatever you call it) for Homelander. before New York and he just didn't realize it (and he still barely realizes it), in the last chapter Homelander thinks exactly that way. or was it born during a close encounter when Homelander was in a cage and remained the only real being for Billy.

GOOD QUESTION and the answer is Complex bc this is a very psychologically dense fic (bc that's the way i like it 😭😭😭😭 i WISH i could just write for two ppl who are simply in love but NOOOO)

ill split the answer in two parts to make it easier for myself ghifgh so:

BILLY'S POV - he was not into homelander at all until he managed to depower him and keep him like a trophy. he still doesn't understand what he feels for him and its a very weird possessive feeling, HL is basically his property but also his responsibility, he made him this way and he is also the only person keeping him alive (it goes beyond just giving him food, he's also the only person keeping kessler from killing him as we've seen in ch8). at the same time, homelander is literally what keeps him sane, he is the only other human interaction he gets (or got...) while he's out there murdering supes. this makes them insanely co-dependent on each other in a very strange way. billy is not ready to admit that he loves him, but is aware that he needs him and that what he has gone too far at points. in general, their love for each other in this fic is mostly discussed in terms of ownership

does billy realize homelander feels the same kind of desire ?? thats an even trickier question but he does notice him get more manageable, while still being the old homelander that he wants to have just for himself (so he's not whipped into submission, he's giving himself over)

HOMELANDER'S POV -- he absolutely thinks billy is obsessed with him and had to have been for a while, because he's very self-centered. also this is the only thing that makes sense for him because he also views love in terms of ownership (i think this is a new thing for billy, but for HL is the most familiar thing in the world). if you look at the way he acts with maeve in the show, someone he admitted he loved "in his own way" -- what he does, is control her. scare her, crowd her in, literally manipulate her life by outing her. and he does that because he cares (and bc he's a shitty person but we all know this). so if billy does this to him, it means he cares and he cares an INSANE amount to blow up a whole fucking city and kill his father to get to this point. that's just how homelander views relationships - in terms of ownership and utility. he was in a relationship with madelyn because they were useful to each other and she basically owned him (and he let her). he was in a relationship with maeve bc he thought they could get each other to the top and have a family together.

in bad ending, he is in a completely different situation, he is no longer of any use to anyone without his powers, there's no point to his life anymore--but billy loves him that way, loves to see the weakness in him and he NEEDS him to stay sane. add in other issues and isolation (another huge point, all of this happens bc they're sooo isolated and only have each other+internal voices to listen to), and homelander is more than eager than to enter another transactional ownership-situationship. he put up a valiant fight, but this is all he knows in the end

a bit of a ramble and idk if i made things any clearer but tl;dr, they were obsessed with each other before new york, just not romantically/sexually, but everything after new york compounded it into something Really Toxic and Weird.