#idk if anyone has done this yet but ive been thinking abt it for days

[penelopesbridgerton]

BRIDGERTON "ART OF THE SWOON" (1.03) | "FORCES OF NATURE" (3.03)

[stardustmuncher]

get to know me!!

okay, wow. guess who has not expected their art to get any attention at all, let alone even incoming requests for art. i apologize if i haven't done ur request yet btw, i've been awfully busy!

however, since i am getting traction and my bday is today (yippi to me, even tho my age is now much too serious) i think its appropriate for me to do a bit of an introduction post..

so without further ado, i present t you...

ME!

hello!! my name is aj, aka stardustmuncher we're being all official with name tags and stuff

i'm bi and use any pronouns! like, fr, any pronouns. get creative guys.

i like to think of myself as somewhat of an artist. i wanna study animation one day, so that's pretty cool i guess.

i'm american, not proudly but i'm still surviving.

also, i'm a total band kid. i'm apart of my school's percussion ensemble, which is neat. it's pretty cool, i suppose.

some of my other hobbies include:

attending drama club like the nerd i am

writing for my school paper

listening to music

sleeping a bunch

hanging out with my friends and being idiots

baking

fashion. (i'm a huge fashion nerd..)

i'm an artist, sure. which means i'm in a lot of communities, i guess. my fandoms consist of:

the owl house (proudly a goldric shipper)

gravity falls

five nights at freddy's

mouthwashing

sally face

don't hug me i'm scared

hamilton

heathers the musical

mean girls

class of 09

helluva boss/hazbin hotel

the spiderverse series

nimona

miraculous

tim burton films

the amazing digital circus

i also LOVE my music, like a bunch.

some of my favorite artists are:

tv girl

chappell roan

olivia rodrigo

mitski

the moldy peaches

tyler the creator

lil peep

dazey and the scouts

laufey

adrienne lenker

pinkpanthersss

madilyn mei

now... my favorite songs.

anyone else but you by the moldy peaches

do the act like you've never met me by tv girl

nuts by lil peep

prom queen by beach bunny

kiss her you fool by kids that fly

break it off by pinkpanthersss

before he cheats by carrie underwood

good luck babe by chappell roan

hot to go by chappell roan

not allowed by tv girl

hate yourself by tv girl

now.. just some fun facts abt me!!

for no particular reason, i am cross-eyed. like i js came out this way idk??

i wear the same barbie pants like every other week. i love these pants.

honestly i prefer chocolate over fruity flavors, they're js better

always looking for more music recommendations, hmu if you got smth good

dms are always open if you need to vent :D or if you just want someone to yap ur interests to, either way

also art requests r always open. i will draw it like one day or smth but ive been busy.. maybe this next week ill draw again

big stuffed animal fan, i sleep with the same three everynight

i have a guinea pig named amity, yes after the toh character

i also have a fish named mr blubs

and two dogs and two cats, i love my pets so much

also i love queer stuff, im way too easy to queerbait i fear

always open to friends and mutuals, just ask!! <3

some of my fav youtubers r louis mcclung, chadchad, drama mama/benoftheweek, drama kween and heather grayce

thanks for reading this total yap session, hopes this helps the people of the tumblr site to know who i am!!

much love,

aj (stardustmuncher) !!

[bluelockednyx]

mind if i brainrot about rin/isarin in your anon asks? sorry, i know of zero other isarin shippers on tumblr 😭 personally, one of the reasons isarin has such a tight grip on me is because of rin himself. i was thinking abt this for a while but now ive got a bigger urge to talk about it cuz of something that the author aparently said about his depiction of his character. his edginess is sorta how he represents rin's apparent attempt at "having to become an adult" which i thought was interesting. the author also said he thinks his desire to grow up is why rin intentionally complicates his relationship with sae. to me, it reads as though rin associates maturity with broody angst. reminds me of a lot of the "friends are stupid, everything sucks" type of faux maturity where ppl think them closing themselves off to healthy emotional support is them being logical. the fact that he's younger than isagi makes a lot of his underlying naivete matter a lot to me and my feelings towards this ship. ig i use isarin as a way to develop rin opening up to love and affection again, and realising that growing up is so much more than just being angsty 24/7 idk if this makes any sense tho. i could just be being dumb lmaoo

I will take any and all opportunities to talk about Isagirin, and yes, there are very few of us, so ask away as many times as you want :D

I'm not surprised Kaneshiro-sensei said that -- referring to his edginess specifically -- about Rin, because he and Nomura-sensei did a really good job showing it in the manga! The sweet, sweet angst of growing up in shonen manga; Rin being all broody about it is so typical teenager but also depicted so well.

The edginess and 'friends are stupid, everything sucks' mentality is a side effect, imo, of being so attached, and then badly hurt by Sae. I would say that it's a bit of a self-defense mechanism too, because if his own brother, whom he adored so much, and he's sure loves him back too, could hurt him this badly, then it's a bit of a no brainer for someone who's not even family, to hurt him too. I'm pretty sure Rin hesitates to let himself get emotionally attached to anyone at this point, and I'm also pretty sure he's not fully aware of this part of his psyche yet.

On growing up and how Rin intentionally complicates his relationship with Sae: I think yes and no, on this. The simple part - they're brothers, and they always will be. Neither of them can erase that even if they wanted to.

On the complicated part - sibling relationships can be very complex, and just because at the end of the day they can interact properly with each other in a civil manner doesn't mean that there hasn't been real damage done in a relationship, and to a person's psyche. Even the dumbest things done without real intention of hurt can cause lasting psychological effects, whether or not the person knows it for themselves.

Kaneshiro-sensei views Rin as intentionally complicating his relationship with Sae. I don't. But YMMV with this: this POV is personal, and there's a ton of cultural aspects to consider which I am definitely not in a position to talk about.

Sae was cruel to Rin in the flashback when they had their 1v1 after Sae came back from Madrid, and Rin never gets the chance to address that issue because he never gets to communicate properly about it with Sae. There's probably a camp out there who says Rin should just get over it, that Sae said it in the heat of the moment, but I'm not part of that camp. I don't believe in sweeping stuff like that under the rug. It's not fair to the person who was hurt. It's also, well, a common tactic in abusive relationships to trivialize the victim's feelings, which sits even less right with me.

We know Sae better because we get an omniscient POV as readers, but from Rin's perspective, Sae stonewalls Rin and never tries to explain or elaborate. While I do agree that trying to talk in the middle of a football match isn't the best place for it, it still doesn't change the fact that they wouldn't be in this situation at all if it weren't for Sae (and also for the sake of compelling plot drama). Sae definitely owes Rin an apology imo, though given what you've just told me about Kaneshiro-sensei's view on Rin intentionally complicating their relationship, I really doubt he's ever going to have that happen in the manga, so :/

And yes!! Rin being younger than Isagi was something that I had suspected back when they were doing the first 3v3 matchup, from just reading the way he spoke. It was confirmed later, I think, in the yoga scene, then the character guides. And yeah, one of Rin's bigger flaws is definitely his lack of close relationships. It severely limits his ability to empathize with other people, and can become a horrible feedback loop in and of itself. Yet, like I said in my meta, if Kaneshiro-sensei wants to develop him into a healthier, more well-rounded character, that's what Rin needs to do -- develop relationships with the rest of the Blue Lock boys as equals, and become actual friends.

I get you!!!! That's what I want for Rin in the Isarin ship too. Just Rin opening up to love and affection again from Isagi, and growing up and realising that he needs friends the other Blue Lock boys that he can count on too. Let's be dumb about fantasizing Isarin with a loving and affectionate Rin together!!!

[princessjules510]

Okay so no one sought out my desperation in my last post but that’s fine. I’ll reblog it after this so you guys (nonexistent people) can catch up but the gist is that my bsf of five years hasn’t been very communicative w me abt making plans but she’s able to make plans w this other person who I’ve expressed my dislike to her. Anyways A LOT HAPPENED SO BUCKLE UP.

So over the summer we have texted periodically and she texted me one night saying she had to tell me something. I had been asleep so when I read the message in the morning I was freaking out cause I was like omg this is the most I’ve gotten out of her. For once she’s texting me first. So ofc I start spamming her, wondering what it is. And she texts later saying she’s in a relationship. I am in shock. This is the last thing I would expect for her to say. Idk I guess it’s just surreal when you both complain abt how you want partners and then once one of you has one it’s like… hello? The complaints were a joke??

But anyways, I’m like omg who is it, have you kissed yet, what was the first date like, HAVE YOU DONE THE DEED?? She didn’t answer any of those questions and just laughed. But ig I didn’t care abt those answers bc she tells me THAT I KNOW THEM. So I’m confused cause we’ve talked abt how much we hate everyone at school (I’m still in high school) and that we would never date anyone there. As I’m thinking, one moment pops into my head. The person that I don’t like jokingly but not really admitted to having feelings for my friend, so I was like no. Like, it can’t be.

So I’m like, “is it ___?” And she starts laughing, avoiding the question. And I know I have my answer. Now I’m in even more shock cause what???? Like you never expressed any kind of romantic feelings towards them. What is going on. Did fucking he’ll freeze over? So now I’m a little pissed cause like, out of every person at school? Them? Really? And I’ll admit I was kind of a dick. I only responded w “ok” and left it at that. But the next day I apologized and told her I was happy for her and that she was in a relationship now cause what the fuck. Life isn’t real atm.

So after all of that a couple weeks later I wanted to be able to hangout w her before school started. I asked her if she was free that weekend and she said yes. I told her a DATE AND TIME and she CONFIRMED SHE WAS AVAILABLE. Of-fucking-course the day of she’s like “oh I forgot to tell you that my dad wants to take me to Worlds of Fun tonight” and I was like oh okay that’s fine cause night isn’t until like 8 so we have plenty of time. And she was like “oh not night sorry I meant around 2 or 3.” 2 OR 3?? GIRL WHAT. HOW DO YOU THINK OF 2 IN THE AFTERNOON AND SAY “oh that’s night definitely.” Like sis… look outside.

SO LIKE A GOOD FUCKING FRIEND I WORK AROUND IT. I was like “that’s fine you can come over early like 11.” AND THE BITCH SAYS “my dad wants to make me breakfast in the morning.”

…

What. The. Fuck.

Breakfast. In the morning.

IS THIS YOIR DADS LAST DAY ALIVE OR SOMETHING? DOES HE NOT KNOW THAT HE COULD LITERALLY MAKE BREAKFAST THE NEXT MORNING OR HELL AT A DIFFERENT TIME IN THE DAY??? IVE HAD BREAKFAST FOR DINNER AND LET ME TELL YOU THERES NO DIFFERENT FEELING. Oh my god just relaying the info is making me livid.

I forgot to mention that the day before I was hanging out w another friend who’s also friends w my bsf. And she was talking abt how she kept texting her if she was free and how my bsf said she’ll “check her schedule” and then she never responds. Ig I should be grateful that she’s even telling me that she isn’t available rather than just ghosting me. Anyways, my other friend was also talking to me abt how she sees my bsf and the person I don’t like hanging out on their BeReal’s.

That set me off.

I was like how the fuck are you gonna say to me that you can’t hangout when YOU ARE HANGING OUT W A PERSON I DONT LIKE? And I understand. You want to be as close to your partner as you can be. You just got together. You’re being all lovey dovey. I would prob do the same thing too. But it’s the fact that she’s able to make time for THEM BUT NOT ME. And after she texted me abt how she couldn’t hangout THE DAY OF, she was talking abt how she’s trying to make things work and shit. Like after everything you got away w, I don’t believe anything you’re saying.

Me and my mom are like besties. So obviously she knows everything and she was like “you need to talk to her face to face” cause my mom caught me crying abt the situation. I was just excited to finally see her and then she pulls this shit, ofc I’m gonna be upset. Plus I was on my period so that didn’t help. But I was like you’re right and so I wrote some talking points down (if you haven’t done that before a confrontation or serious talk I recommend bc it’s very helpful) and texted her that we needed to talk. And she was like abt what and I was like our friendship and then she was like r we good and I was abt to say no we aren’t fucking good but I didn’t and said yeah.

So we were supposed to have dinner after practice (we’re both on the tennis team and GUESS WHO GOT ME TO PLAY: FUCKING HER) TODAY and I hadn’t heard anything from her so I asked before practice started if we were still going to dinner and she was like I couldn’t take off work. So that ruined my day and I literally did not want to look at her, speak to her, nothing.

Now, idk what to do. Because if I try to find another day where she’s free it’s just gonna drag it out longer to the point where it won’t even matter anymore. Part of me wants her to know how she’s made me feel. She really hurt my feelings on Saturday and I want her to know that. But at the same time, I’ve tried reaching out and trying to fix things, but she just won’t meet me halfway. I’m thinking that maybe she should be demoted to friend at school. I’m done wasting my time trying to hangout when I could be hanging out w other friends who are MORE THAN HAPPY to do stuff w me.

Lmk your guys’ thoughts cause I would like more input :)

[weaponizedducks]

this is incredibly exciting ive never met enyone whos actively liking Shapeshifter!! following u immediately we are now best friends

ABSOLUTELY agree with u abt the government side of things- so ive got a whole oc sorta for this one- i feel like they should have had like a kid of one of the government people who is really against the colas and then sorta gets turned over to their side- making the readers like wake up to the horror of the cola project.

also LOVE ur lisa analysis- shes always been my favourite- i adore that she gets to be angry and powerful but also feminine and pretty? i love how angry she is. also the patrick wood messages thing?? NEVER thought abt that before that is such a cool idea- they really underused this guy and his power was so interesting.

re: the lisa and mia thing. ohoho their dynamic is so interesting to me. i am incredibly invested in it bc to me they really remind me of erik and charles from x men and im also really invested in them. but to me theyre like two sides of a coin. they want the same thing- but their methods are wildly different. mia is angry at the world and she's hurting and she wants to get rid of anything that hurts her friends, especially lisa. she doesnt want the cola's to be accepted so much as left alone. lisa wants to fit in. she's always wanted to fit in- she wants to be normal. she wants to be accepted and while she acts like other peoples opinions don't bother her, they really do. mia and lisa value each other so so much, but they're constantly hurting eachother. its clear to me that mia loves lisa- and their twisted dynamic in feather and fang when mia is BEGGING lisa to come with her, and lisa is horrified by what mia's done, but she still loves her, and she doesn't say 'i hate you, i don't want to see you ever again' she says 'maybe later on i will see you again. when we're both better.' i think they work because fundamentally, lisa has always understood mia more than anyone else, and because she's so angry and expresses her feelings, around her mia finds it easier to express hers. i sort of relate to mia- i really get her character bc she feels like she has to be the happy, calm friend all the time- she never gets angry, she bottles up her pain, she pretends everything is fine when it's not. and she hates being seen as breakable or fragile. she's quite like dax in that sense. (also if u wanna get into xmen i recommend x men first class and days of future past, but also the og triliogy are amazing)

mia is such a tragic character, she's always been hurting so much. she presents herself as very easygoing and calm and 'nothing bothers her'. she seems very at peace, when in reality she's the opposite. she seems very open- like she has no secrets, but she has major trust issues, and she doesnt let anyone get close enough to her to understand her. apart from lisa and the rest of the gang.

re: humanity of the characters- yes i love that abt the books. i also love how they portrayed the bad effects of having these powers and how they impact such young people- i feel like a lot of ya fantasy just sees it as a cool bonus. might expand on this later idk.

(also apologies. our diva alice jones would absolutely star in barbie. not even gonna speak on gina bc i hate her and she fucked up her kids badly. gonna speak on this maybe)

CATHERINE. OH MY GOD. YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABT HER. i do feel horrifically bad for her- she's essentially a failed experiment. its so interesting to see a female antagonist like her- she's so young, so she isn't forced into that 'cool, flirty female villain trope' that i despise, which is great because it allows her to go completley batshit without the readers needing to like her. i feel a lot of books make the mistake of wanting to create a likeable villain, and i'm glad this wasn't the route taken.

re: gideon. yes yes yes he's such a Character. he's been through so much, and yet it's never really acknowledged. i would have loved to see more of his arc- i think him and lisa have a really cool (platonic) dynamic that would've been fun to explore. and yeah get this boy a bf. he deserves it.

tysm for adding ur analysis- its so cool to find someone who likes these underrated books!!! please feel free to come yell into my inbox any time, and ur character analysis is so interesting and accurate

(also. xmen. its very like shapeshifter and i cant believe im only just realising this.)

Hello! Your pinned post mentions The Shapeshifter books so 🫵 hi

Tell me about them. Who's your favourite character? What do you like about them?

(feel free to redeem this ask as a way to infodump if you want. license to yap)

omg hi hi!! i love you so much for asking this and im sorry for turning this ask into an infodump. definite spoilers for the shapeshifter below.

ok so my favourite character is lisa probably bc shes iconic and her instincts when something goes wrong is just to attack. either verbally or physically. also her backstory is so sad??? like she predicts someones about to die but she doesnt know thats what her visions mean (bc her visions are very cryptic and she was like 10 at the time) so she only realised when the girl died and then blamed herself?? like what??? these books are so dark for a kids series. i think she deserved a gun and also to say fuck. i really love her relationship with dax also theyre just so cute. like she'll by fully attacking someone and he's like :). isnt she so pretty :). theyre a bi4bi power couple i just know it.

also she fully had a doomed wlw situationship with mia and i fear we dont talk about it enough. mia was fully in love with her both before and after she went evil. like they very much gave cherik for a hot moment there. actually now that i'm thinking about it shapeshifters is very x men coded. so yeah im never getting over lisa and mia but i do love her and dax so im not mad.

MIA OH MY GOD. I LOVE MIA SO MUCH. never before has someone so deserved their villain arc. she's like morgana. i LOVED the subversion of her being the sweet healer-y type and then going batshit insane with her healer powers. like kinda using them for...nefarious purposes shall we say. she's still very sweet she's just very cunty and evil now.

i also love alice especially in the last book bc. shes just a kid. her mother's shit. stepmom neglected dax and smothered alice while never actuallly listening to her wants and needs. and their fathers never there. i wish we had gotten to see alice and dax bond more over their shitty parents. they could have been the best sibling duo. also shes badass and she would have loved wearing pink to see barbie (2023).

gideon for me is one of those characters who is so into women it just wraps around into him being gay. he's like lance mcclain to me. he deserved a boyfriend. also i think he's bi (i think everyone's bi. i don't think there's a single straight character in these books. minus mr grey). i love gideon he's so mecore. he's also traumatised!!! and he has a twin brother and an evil twin sister who's thirteen and ripped out her brother's tongue.

on the subject of gid's evil twin sister she is SUCH an interesting character to me. like obviously i hate catherine but she's so fascinating. her power means she can never stay with someone for too long or she'll end up killing them. she never has her own likes or hobbies or talents- she borrows someone elses because she feels herself isnt good enough. she crucified a man. she's killed three adoptive mothers. sort of on purpose. she just wants to be loved. she drowned an entire school with a massive tidal wave after leeching their powers. she was killed with fire. she was french for a while. she's perpetually thirteen years old.

i love the series as a whole but i think it had so much potential to be more. it was already pretty dark (windmill scene. need i say more) but it was technically a teen fantasy series, and i feel if they committed to a YA age rating and went all out with the horror and the very clear 'fuck the government' theme that was present throughout the whole series it could have been amazing. i have so many ideas for these books and what they could have done (note i love the books so much as they are but god. what we could have had if they weren't technically kids books).

also just realised i forgot to talk abt owen!!! gay father figure of our hearts. he accidentally adopts a bunch of motherless children and then he commits to it for the rest of his life. he canonically faked his death to live in a cave in spain with his superpowered male best friend. he's killed quite a few people.

this is the end of the Yap. in conclusion none of these characters are either normal or know how to function in society. i love these books. theyre like xmen and harry potter combined. but no jk rowling so win

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[windsweptlassie]

On Love

So as you know I made this uquiz with an open-ended question at the end, tell me something about love, and I’ve gotten the most wonderful responses! They range from descriptions of wonderful partners: 

Lauren: oh, how long I went without being myself until I met him and he showed me who I truly was and that my worth was higher than I ever thought was possible

Levi: I love who we are with each other. I love who I am with you. In your company I am me. In your company I am the best of me. The best with the best, I've told you. I wouldn't give you up for anything

Daniel: i fell in love for the first time when i was 17... at the time, i didn’t realize it was the first time, i thought i’d been in love before, a couple times actually, but falling in love at 17 was such a fulfilling experience, it felt so forceful yet so right. it’s when i first truly understood what love was. never before had i felt so understood and so cared for as i did when i was in love with her, and she was in love with me. it’s been nearly 4 years since then, and nearly 3 years since we broke up and stopped talking, and still, i think about her almost every day. i’ve never known anyone like her; to me, she was love itself.

El: oh i’m in love with everyone that i know op!!! especially my girlfriend, of course ,but also my friends and my family and random people on the street and uh

Grace: i’ve met my soulmate and we plan on getting an apartment and marrying after college

A: I’m going to ask the woman I love to marry me and I just wanted to tell someone because I am so excited

Jeremy: you ever have that feeling where basically after years of denying that someone couldnt understand you in a way or love you and then the next thing you know you happen to find that person and its just great from then on out? idk how to explain it anyways I love my boyfriend so much he means the world to me

Lucy: i am so happy i have found the one i love

to descriptions of best friends and favorite people:

Nightbyrd: Love is a hug from an alzheimer's patient who hasn't the foggiest idea who you are, but they know you're worth hugging.

H: I have been doing so much yoga with my roommate recently!! It's a great way to center my mind for an hour

Riv: [platonic] i’ve literally never met anyone who understands me in the way that my best friends do. they’re literally the best people in the whole world and i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without them. i love them with my whole heart

Cillian: when i talk about how much i love my best friend i get so teary eyed because i cant believe that such a genuinely wonderful person wants to speak to me every day - i care for her more than anyone else on this planet

O: my two besties are my sources of happiness and they’re so pretty i would die for them :D

to beautiful quotes:

Kai: "you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." DARCYYYY PLS MY HEART CANT HANDLW THIS PAIN

Dorian: When the plane went down in San Francisco, I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes. He memorizes the wrecked metal details, ____the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke. Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes: The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa. How people go on, and how people don’t. It was almost a year before I learned that his brother was a pilot. I can’t help it, I love the way men love. (accident report in the tall, tall weeds- ada limon, bright dead things)

Adam: every day I think about lemony snicket I will love you if I never see you again I will love you if I see you every Tuesday or however it goes. and it KILLS ME. love only fits in small things

Hero: “Your heart beats in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds.” - Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne

Mary: "Love is watching someone die."

Alex: "meet me at blue diner, i'll take coffee and talk about nothing baby"

Sparrow: "How dare you love me like you've never known fear?" and "For you, the world," and "Darling, I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades," and "Will you start where I end?"

V: " You want to die for love. You always have. " and "someone will remember us, I say, even in another time" are living rent free in my mind 24/7 and I'm shaking. When will I finally be not the only one falling ?

Sahar K: To love another person is to see the face of god!!!

Miriam: all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding- kafka

Juls: Don’t you think they are maybe the same? Love and attention

to practices of love:

Leo; i love feeling happy bc somebody that i love is happy and comfortable....like its not about me i just love seeing you smile. we are safe together...idk i just feel it bro

A: I like to think love is leaning on each other during the light or dark days. Its a personal mission of mine to find out who I am and what I want. Yet I never seem to find my place in this world and as I look and look , I realise the only place I can be myself even with or without the efforts to find myself was done on that day or not, I am always tired so shall I lean on you? And you can lean on me as well. I shall be your fig tree and you shall be my favourite willow tree.

L: It's too late at night to be soul searching, but it's a journey we all seem to find ourselves on these days.

Anthi: feeling safe and at home, I guess (also I love frogs)

Julia: ive found that loving someone is like becoming your own thesaurus. you have to find or come up with infinite ways to say, you’re beautiful, or, i love you. it’s a gift

Galexies: ive been writing letters to the person i'd love one day since i was 14. i write them in a little journal usually, but i've been digitizing them into emails and sending them to one account that i'll give to them someday. i'd like to put pictures, but i haven't been outside much recently so theres that. i wonder if they'd like the sunsets i have on file, or if they'd find my cat cute in a bowtie.

Caeles: Love is sharing fruit slices and making someone tea at random

Dundy: Love is sending your friends cursed shit and watching them react in horror

to crushes and potential loves: 

Jess: I have a crush on my roommate. It sucks, but it's also wonderful. I get to be around him all the time when we're at school. we share a life together; it's rather domestic. I think a lot about marrying him and being domestic with him forever. It won't happen, and I'll move on eventually, but I'll be happy with him for as long as I can. I hope you feel loved tonight, because you are. Sleep well.

Aki: I so desperately want to believe that love is fake because I’ve seen what happens when loved ones leave but whenever I start to convince myself that I’ll never love anyone my best friend messages me telling me she loves me. She’s the only person I’ve ever pictured having a future with but love scares me and I don’t really know what to do but I think as long as she’s with me in some way, I’ll be fine

Hi: her her i keep thinking abt her.... gonna see her in 8 days or so i really miss her. its ok if shes never gonna love me like i want her to really being her friend spending time with her makes me the happiest girl on earth.... outsold antidepressants

Kit: this guy i have a crush on has hypnotically dark brown eyes and he's wonderful and shows me kindness like no one else

Juno: my crush has all the stars in his eyes

Mads: When I have the courage to meet my eyes with hers, the world stands still

Be Nice To Me: Look bro I never do these but I am yearning to hold them SO badly right now and someone needs to know it besides me

to the trials of love: 

Pppppp: I just wanna love like from the movies and what I read about.. but everyone tells me that that’s fictional and rare to find in the real world and it sucks bc it seems like all the guys I’ve met are terrible and the norms of society are all about not respecting women and uthdjdjdk

Manny: I have been in love before and I will be again but I’m not now and I miss it

Ok: I don't think I've ever been in love, though I love many people. I am waiting for the day I look at someone and can say, YES. IT'S YOU.

Chloe: idk rn i'm like okay with my love and i'm happy so we'll see i'm just a little cautious rn bc my last partner told me i didn't know how to love

L: love is so fucking complicated I don't even know where to start

Corrin: He’s not real and it worried me that I will never allow myself to live or be loved because I will always be waiting for him

Sean: Good luck it dont exist

Serena: i want 2 b in love :(( </3

13: I don’t know anymore

M: I just really don’t like dealing with it lol

to beloved characters: 

Janaya: I’m madly in love with my comfort and kin character and I hope maybe in the afterlife I can relive a life with him in some sort of dimension

Jhgjdf: when i was a kid i had a crush on ash ketchum from pokemon and id always daydream about being a female pkmn trainer and meeting him and we fall in love

to advice and prose: 

Mikolai: Love is earth, gentle and soft at first flight but upon being broken, drowns you in the dry choking wastes of its consequences...

Thex: Your hands will not go cold without someone to hold them. I am here. I will be here.

Kat: it is the nearest proof to god that i find myself surrounded by people who love in a way that complements so wonderfully the way i love

H: believe in love out of spite believe in love to prove everyone wrong believe in love because you were told not to and we will not do what we’re told anymore believe in love because it’s the strongest act of teenage rebellion we have left believe in love because it’s easier not to and when is easy worth doing? believe in love because everything says otherwise but you are untouchable, you are your own, you are not made by their design believe in love because, perhaps, you are love

Ali: I used to want a kind of love that feels like coming home and now I want nothing more than to be away from home on many different adventures

Em: you dont need to love yourself to accept it from others

to the small, the simple, and the sweet:

Ireal: Poems

O: Flowers

Fay: ah im sorry that i’m feeling unmotivated but you are very kind.

Ad: we love LOVE

A: <3

Isak: small things

H: intense

Hey: Listening to a clock ticking away

S: her

E: <3

Hania: Amorous, I adore that word ^^

Catboy: wholesome

J: i love love so much it hurts

Emmy: hi i love the song darkest of discos!! try and give it a listen!! <3

Nora: Love is painful, but most of the time love is great

Ariel: i like the comfort it can bring

M: i love love

to food!

Cool Whip: Matzoh ball soup!!

Woop: I love sausages.... I hope that's ok with you?

and animals too <3

Nee: hmm i have pet geckos and i love them very much!

96: raccoons ????

DJ Big Penis: cats

:3: I Love frogs,,, love is stored in the frog,,,

I hope that this serves as a sweet compilation of what love means! Love to all of you, it warms my heart so much to hear about your people and your geckos and your characters and soup and all the songs and quotes you love. <3 Strength to all of you who are figuring out to do about your feelings for your crush, and congratulations to you who are proposing or moving in with your person! Your words are a source of light to me, truly.

[passable-talent]

what are your thoughts on zuko ending with mai? personally, im over the moon that he's happy, but i just never saw the chemistry?? i feel like he coulda gone with the girl from ba sing se, but maybe it's just me? idk ive always just felt slightly iffed lol

personally I love them. maybe not as a grow-old-together couple, because I’ve always had issues about the media portrayal of teenagers getting together with their first s/o and then that’s it, but that’s more abt American media then it is about them.

I think there’s a lot of chemistry going on there, personally. It goes all the way back to when they were kids, clearly she had a crush on him, maybe just because he was a prince or maybe because she saw the guy that we all love. He had a crush on her, and I couldn’t tell you why, I’m not in the dude’s head, but I imagine it was likely something along the lines of her being very interesting and different than Ty Lee and Azula. May have also had something to do with a similarity between them- parents that won’t tolerate a single mistake.

Then we think about their early tween years, and we don’t know much (I haven’t read the comics so this is purely the show), but it seems like there must’ve still been something happening there considering how quickly they reconnect when Zuko returns to the fire nation.

And even when they’re in the fire nation (two months!!) we only see a handful of moments between the two.

We have to keep in mind that we do not get to see everything, and therefore cannot at all assume that we know their dynamic completely.

But honestly, I see a lot of chemistry in the moments that they do have. Some people cite the beach episode as evidence that Mai isn’t as interested in him as he is in her, because she’s quite snarky in that episode, however we clearly see not only in that episode but obviously in later ones that she’d do a lot for him (Boiling Rock Pt 2 anyone?). Personally I love the moment when Lo and Li strip into their swimsuits and Mai covers Zuko’s eyes.

They know each other really well, as Zuko understands how much it means to our ‘always bored’ babe when she says ‘I don’t hate you’- he says it back with the same tone, delivery, intimacy, and even grammatical structure as one would say ‘I love you too��. He knows what it means to her to say that, and knows her well. That date between them was really sweet, honestly, they were having a good time, enjoying each other’s company, swapping spit, all that. Let’s not forget that he, a boy who has never had a role model when it comes to healthy relationships, goes to out of his way to compliment her on many occasions in the show.

Not only that but some of his most genuine smiles have been in her company.

Let’s think especially about their breakup around the time of the Day of Black Sun- he’s risking a lot by writing her a letter. Yes, it’s a shitty one, because he hasn’t learned how to express his feelings from team avatar yet, but he writes one to her anyway. It’s dangerous, because it could be analyzed or used against him by his psychotic sister, but he does it anyway.

Because she deserves an explanation.

Personally I’ve always loved the Boiling Rock episodes for showcasing their relationship, he truly does have so much regret about putting her through that heartbreak, and resigns himself to her punishment. He doesn’t try to put it on her, he just tries to articulate that it had to be done, and that he felt regret. Plus, when he locks her into the cell, he doesn’t just race off- he spends precious time just looking at her, which to me always felt like he wished he could apologize.

And while I do like that girl from Ba Sing Se (Jin?), and I think she was important for who he needed to be as a person, I don’t think that it could’ve been long term. He just needed, at that time, to hang out with someone his own age (that wasn’t Jet). And yes, he did something REAL romantic for her, be still my beating heart, but it also could be just that he didn’t want her to be disappointed. He is a sweetheart, after all.

I have a lot of thoughts on the two. I think Mai is a very interesting character, and they match each other well (could you imagine Zuko trying to keep up with someone with as much energy at Ty Lee? no). They have a very sweet relationship, and I think the biggest problem that people have with it is that it’s unusual. It’s not sappy and filled with I-Love-Yous and tearful reunions. It’s their brand, and hell, when you learn their language and what they mean by certain things, it actually does get kinda sappy sweet (see: “I don’t hate you”).

So while I adore Zuko and would love to say that he’s mine, as I’m sure many of us would, I think that his romantic arc was handled beautifully. I don’t think that it could be much better- especially since it was such a small aspect of the show, and they still managed to flesh it out with little moments along the way.

In conclusion. I like Maiko a lot. And I am proud of her for getting what she wants in the comics, but in the show, I think she and Zuko are a great match.

-🦌 Roe

[sirengf-moved]

oh boy 1) 2, 5, 7, 10, 15 || 2) 3, 7, 9 || 3) 6, 7, 20 || 4) 4, 9, 27 || part five is embarrassing so none of that shit 💓 || 6) 2, 4, 10 || i gave u so many because i lov u but i'm also fucked up 🍊🌿💐💓

mars i lov u , also don’t worry i’m vain and i love answering questions abt myself so this works perfectly 😌🍯☁️✨🍓🍃 HOLD ONTO UR BUTT THIS IS A LOT :

( part 1 ) 🍨

Have you ever cut your hair yourself?

a: as a kid i think i got something stuff in my hair , gum or ? i’m unsure it’s a foggy memory but i just cut my hair and my mom got soooooo mad bc we had a friend who was a hairdresser and we didn’t tell her or anything and we just cut it , tbh it was pretty liberating but at the same time i don’t remember if i did a good job or not 💀

Do you collect anything?

a: mmm, jars ...... me telling myself i’m gonna gather jars for spellwork and i never actually do it so i just have a shit ton of mason jars , emptied candle jars , small flasks with cork screw lids all sitting around my crystals and incense ect....... rip me.

Are you a fan of bread and butter?

a: yes! i eat fried bread w/ light butter for breakfast most mornings , probably unhealthy but like.......it’s very yummy..... 😔

Have you ever almost died?

a: ive almost drowned at least 3 times, this racist dude thst i almost beat the shit out of nearly ran me over on my way home with his redneck truck ( forgetting i knew where he lived ) , almost asphyxiated myself by swallowing melted chocolate at least 3 /4 times , almost got into a head on collision at a 4 way once, when i jumped from the side of my grandfathers sailboat onto the docks i wasn’t considering how big the leap was and landed fine but almost fell back and would’ve been crushed between the boat and dock , and i thought i was going to die when this homeless man glared me down intensely at the local burger king as i ate my chicken and lowkey cried bc i was also going through an emotional meltdown ( unrelated to said homeless man making vicious murder eyes at me , but that sure didn’t help lol ) i’ve also died a lot in my dreams / almost died in dreamscapes ..... long winded answer but hi mars i’m also fucked up 😌

Favorite animal?

a: GELADA MONKEYS! LOOK THEM UP PLS THEYRE AMAZING I LOVE THEM! BIG FLUFFY BOYS!

( part 2 ) 🥧

Do you believe the butterfly effect is real?

a: hm... i feel like every action mayhaps has some sort of consequence but personally i’ve been seeing that like, how can this be true when you have billionaires who use slave/sweatshops/prison labor but yet are rewarded with vast riches? how can you have all of these people of power constantly doing bad , horrible things and not getting their karma? will they get it ten fold? down the road? is their karma their internal struggles? do they not have any moral qualms? are they MAKING the karma for others? these are questions i constantly ask myself to be quite honest....

Do you believe in witches and/or magic?

a: yes , for the most part. there are some i believe because i can feel it , their energy and majesty in the way they hold themselves and how they view the world, some people just scare me with how they go through life with such certainty on everything, certainty terrifies me to be honest. i do definitely believe in magic! it’s in everything! from someone cooking you something that you regularly cook but it tastes better bc they made it? magic! it’s everywhere! and also practical magic ( spellwork / spirit work / deity & entity work / tarot & oracle ect ) it all interests me and i love talking about it , to people who also believe and practice and KNOW AND RESPECT CULTURE/ HERITAGE / CLOSED PRACTICES! c:

Do you believe in anything mythical/supernatural? (Bigfoot, Mermaids, Vampires, etc.)

a: sorta , i’ve had too many rhythmic taps / scratches on my window in the deep hours of the night to not believe. i’m not sure if i believe in vampires as in modern mainstream standpoint but i’m pretty open to just about anything existing..it’s just this world is so weird and i’d be naive to think that just bc i can’t perceive it with my own eyes, it just simply doesn’t exist... u know?

( part 3 ) 🍡

If a friend called you to help hide a body, would you help or turn them in?

a: i ain’t no snitch. also kinda depends on the friend, bc i wouldn’t turn anyone in regardless ( unless they killed someone innocent / were a budding serial killer omg ) but like do i answer calls? rarely , am i also the one everyone always goes to? yes. either way i’d prolly help you bury the body, answering the phone however? another story. ( who am i kidding i’d be so excited that a friend wants to talk or smth then get roped into this whole drama episode )

Have you ever had a crush on someone that, now as you look back, is completely embarrassing?

a: YES , STORY TIME! okay so i was like 17/18 and i liked this guy and at the time i thought i was being soooooo oblivious about it , but like a few months later a friend was like ‘ did u like so and so? ‘ and i was like ‘ was it that obvious? ‘ and they were all like ‘ painfully ‘ and to this day i still get randomly reminded by my brain how stupid , cringe worthy and weird i acted , like my brain is relentless in reminding me how fucking fat of an L that whole crush thing was........ 🙃

How would you react if you had a secret admirer?

a: depends, ive had ‘secret’ admirers who turned very obsessive in my past, so i’m naturally wary , but idk if someone thinks i’m cool i have no problem with that , but if you put me on this weird pedestal then i have a problem ... 🤲🏽 td;lr : id be as humble as possible bc then i’m reminded i’m perceived.

( part 4 ) 🍰

Favorite actress?

a: lupita n’yongo!!

Favorite type of food?

a: savory / rich/ salty food, i don’t really care for sweet foods ... or fried foods ? i don’t like large portions either tbh, i like to feel full not like dead lol. my favorite types are either seafood or seafood coupled with steak and other assorted meat and sides .

Favorite sport?

a: i liked playing volleyball, i like watching soccer and occasionally college football ( ik ik.... ) but i also love watching women’s professional gymnastics!!

( part 6 ) 🌯

Ever kissed someone who wasn’t single?

a: i don’t think so.... no! it sounds like smth i’d do on accident or smth tbh ... but not smth i’d do purposely!

Have you ever done anything illegal?

a: yes! lots of things! but i’m not gonna list them all here, nothing too serious but lol yes haha

Ever lied straight to someone’s face?

a: daily occurrence tbh, i’m really good at lying , i had to get good at it as a kid in order to avoid shit so 😌 now i can convince gross men that i’m in a relationship with a huge weightlifting bouncer and we have 3 kids and hes on isle 6 and will be back soon when i’m in walmart and some creep attempts to talk to me too much! and they’ll believe me.......

[gayspock]

okay but

yet again am BAFFLED bc i rlly do like.... i go skimming through, like, some videos of ppl talking abt it, some reviews and some forum posts. and am STILL, to this day, just bewildered- people rlly thinking that the scene in seeing red... just came out of nowhere? that it was, like, a mistake on spikes part or that buffy had strung him along or something like- kings..... what were u all WATCHING.... like- 

like.... i reserve wht ive said time and time again & thats spike, since mid season 5 ( shortly after whenever he realsied his crush on buffy) has been insufferable in tht sense of like............ scary, entitled dude.......  like it seems entirely inline with his characterisation  try to Do That.... i remember some scene where he, like, is talking to a fuckin dollhead and pretending its buffy or sth and then starts yelling at it and calling it a bitch and.... ive seen some ppl call that shit comedic or whatever, but bro........................ thats fucking terrifying what are u all on. the way he keeps trying to do “good” things to get her favour, and then gets mad when she doesnt reciprocate. the  whole buffybot fiasco was so... disgusting and such a clear demonstration of just.... his everything... and like...

not 2 mention.... whatever the fuck this dudes attraction is rooted in.... potentially am reading waaay too much fucking into this, since, like.... frankly most relationships in buffyverse thus far are just kind of formed on the writers shoving 2 ppl together and stating “yes. they have chemistry.”  for no reason but like.... man the dude, before this, had a fascination with slayers ........ specifically with hunting them down and killing them like trophies...... do u rlly think tht whatever attraction he had was not.... a freak type... like kings. beloved kings what are you all o-

but in general. ugh. spike just kind of.. god ... sir... bc i mean i do guess morality does get v. uh. hey complicated. with spike given the fact he doesnt get his soul until s6 ending scene.... and tbh, i do fault the show with that more than anyone else- whilst the whole chip in his head did lead to an interesting development & his existence in the scoobies was more comedic in s4................... like......................  whilst it rlly could have been an interesting moral discussion (how does chipped spike - not being able to cause pain&suffering, yet still without a soul - act? does he begin to develop a sebse of morality? is that possible? being effectively neutered, or whatever- what does that do to him...) i think that.... narratively, the way it was done in s5-s6, tht  started to break down way too much.... like in a meta, lore-breaking way.... its so CLOSE but again i think its just. h.  im not even sure how to articulate it, or what it is precisely but it simply just doesnt work and i think. it ran away from them and it became less a case of looking into that nuance and more a case of, like, their actual sense of what vampires are in buffy completely just. getting away from them for the sake of whatever they wanted to tell and . idk sometimes im FINE with twisting shit like that if, narratively, it works but when the story ur trying to explore and whatnot is intrinsically tied to thing ur trying to break... what am saying is weird. spike apology or whatever - i do kind of, regretfully, get where some of it comes from. bc we separate angelus and angel, so why not spike and william (forgive me; lack of a better name for soul spike...) but i jsut. like i said i think their in universe definitions were getting too blurred and they were screwing themselves over too much in that sense .... you cannot separate spike from william or whatever- because the show itself really . doesnt do so because it ran itself round in a circle and thus trying to unpick it is a losing battle in that sense of.....you really just cant, since its broken

[guroshitsuji]

All you do these days is follow horrible people out of spite, I really thought you were better than that. Almost miss being mutuals but you and your blog are full of red flags.

i have a feeling i know who you are n i almost miss being mutuals too but its probs for the best if u rly think this black n white. cus i don’t follow “horrible people” out of spite. i don’t think anyone i follow is horrible and ive yet to find a reason to unfollow anyone other than this mob mentality that once someone has been accused of something via a callout post w no evidence, then they are that thing , no questions asked. ppl keep sending me anons abt my new mutuals and i keep asking for evidence that they are these horrible things and i always turn up empty handed. ive talked about this before. x , x .  and ive talked abt this before too but its so like .... nonsensical that you’re all anons. if you rly miss being mutuals or if any of you guys rly cared enough ud just talk to me directly. how are you gonna expect me to it take seriously when ur saying rly confrontational things or rly heavy accusations and ur quiet literally anonymous. idk how everyone else is ok with that but im not.. i just cant get behind it. these things matter to me and if im going to break mutuals w someone i need more than a rly aggressive anon, i want to be talked to like a person and explained in detail all this evidence that ive yet to see. like my dms are always open and i am happy to talk these things out privately !! there is no reason for me to be having a onesided public conversation like this !! id esp want to talk abt these red flags you think im full of, bcus as far as i know i have not changed whatsoever and thats a big accusation . i would absolutely love if it someone could talk to me abt smth ive done thats hurt people bcus i rly cant think of one thing and i dont want to be doing that !!!

anyways this is too much energy and time to waste on stuff like this. this is the last time i will ever answer an anon like this... ive said this before but ill say it again . just mssg me. frm now on if i receive an anon abt my mutuals i will delete them and i will not publicly acknowledge them.. im sorry that i demand a little respect in situations w sensitive topics but its rly what i think is fair. and sry to literally anyone other than the asker whos had to read thru this and for all the needless drama, this will not be a problem again, i promise

[0rph1x]

okay beau sent me this lets go thru it im excited

im gay <3

beau. space. space and beau. thats it.

no i just turned 18 and also that is nothing i will ever be interested

i would love to get my helix done, and a septum at some point but im not sure about that one too much

none as of rn

the apartment i have planned with beau, we're planning out the interior and stuff for whichever little apartment we choose

literally. anyone. i don't get outwardly jealous too easy but anyone who even slightly flirts with my boy is. hm.

i watched all of shameless us in like a month or so, it made me sad bc there were in person gay ppl but i recommend it!! there's a lot of tws tho

nah idk i just never found it appealing, it was a little awkward

i have this one, my main, and then an abandoned aesthetic blog that i just keep bc i like it

new zealand in a HEARTBEAT dude

i have so many bc i daydream like endlessly and i get lost in them, but i cant wait for the day that i get to sit on the counter of our kitchen and watch my boy bake and explain everything he's doing to me while i just admire how pretty he is when he's passionate abt something

NO HOLY SHIT THAT WOULD HURT especially once i do go thru with surgery idk how well id like that

id give half of it to my mom then work on spending the rest of it towards my perfect future

yup <3

no i block and report every one that follows me it makes me s o uncomfortable

not atm no! im chillin

good question i wanna get a shoulder/back piece of some point but idk what yet

i mean if i could change it legally it would be theo, since that's my name

space. space space space. oh and marvel

i have three best friends actually, and they're all just so sweet. we've been friends for almost eight years, and its just so fun to hang out with them bc they're genuinely like the funniest people i know

@genderfluid-faerie-bf

good question, dead poet society, hozier, mother mother, clem turner, and holden laurence

i wanna see new zealand even if we don't stay there, i wanna go to paris, andddddd i think germany

spending it on the phone for hours with my love, even if we don't talk about anything in particular

autumn even tho its freezing

being ignored/overlooked/talked over. it pisses me off so much, its genuinely something that gets me incredibly angry

myself :] i am hilarious kjhfkjlsdhlfh

PRIDE. AND. FUCKING. PREJUDICE. i am a pride and prejudice hater

there isn't really anyone, i think i talk to everyone i want to

paper books even tho i don't read too much, but specifically hardcovers

uhhhhhh there isn't many bc all the fictional worlds i know are awful

the same way i am now but w a y more over the top, id be so dramatic and ridiculous

i don't drink coffee so idk, whenever i go to starbucks i order like a lemonade tea

only on the prettiest and sweetest boy i have ever met, im smitten

no, i barely have contact with any of them rn for specific reasons that i will not disclose sjdhfjk

not atm, i have like pen drawings on me but no actual tattoos

no im underage so nope

yeah, i still haven't even had an in person date yet

yeah my bf <333

on my main i think its 60 and on my loving account its 70 if i remember correctly

he's so sweet and kind and sweet and i love him so dearly. his smile just makes my day, i love the way that when he smiles all wide his eyes squint up and there's a little scrunch in between his eyebrows. i love his nose and the way it has just a slight bump on the bridge. i love his confidence in himself and the way that he's so proud of just being with me. i love the way that he dresses, even if people around him don't support it, he still wears what he wants. i love him.

idk if there are any off the top of my head but i will edit if i can think of any

nah i used to in middle school which was a mistake but whatever

ive never been on a date before so i cant really answer sdkjfhksdjf

too many, its 133 which is more than i thought

i don't think id be with a celebrity tbh i cant think of anyone off the top of my head

the one i have <3333 he's perfect

beau, without a doubt

i like the warm rain, like when its rainy outside and its the perfect weather to watch movies inside but its not cold

ok there we go that took forever but @genderfluid-faerie-bf here u go <3

Be nosy

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

3. Ever done any drugs?

4. What piercings do you want?

5. How many people have you kissed?

6. Describe your dream home.

7. Who are you jealous of?

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

9. Do you watch porn?

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

15. Are you in a relationship?

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

18. What tattoos do you want?

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

21. Describe your best friend.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

24. What are three places you want to travel?

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

26. What’s your favorite season?

27. What’s your pet peeve?

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

34. What’s your coffee order?

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

37. Have any tattoos?

38. Do you drink?

39. Are you a virgin?

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

41. How many followers do you have?

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

44. Do you read erotica?

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

46. How many people do you follow?

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

48. Describe your ideal partner.

49. Who do you text the most?

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

[calm-me-down-oh]

How about all the questions ;)

skdsjf ofc u would get me back for that, under a readmore bc theres a lot!

When was the last time you masturbated? Yesterday! Had a.. very hot convo w my gf

Do you enjoy being fingered/fingering? Uhh the only time Ive had it done to me the person had to stop bc they got uncomfy with it and it was overall just a bit odd,, wait it happened a second time and their nails were too sharp also sdkfhsdh I feel like I could get to like it though? If its like, actually properly done rather than my current experiences sdhfk

How do you feel about food during sex? nno thanks mostly? I guess it can kinda depend on the food though idk, like if my gf suggested somethin I might not mind trying it out depending on what it was yknow

What do you do directly after sex? um.. well afaik just kinda lay/sit in a daze for a moment, mayb have some water, get real clingy, kind of have to be nudged into doing stuff bc i guess my brain just stops working skjdfkj

Cuddle with the tip in? Hell yeah. cuddle with it all in. sounds good.

What’s the nastiest sexual thing you’ve done? I don’t think I’ve really done anything nasty sdjkfsj all the sex ive had has been quite brief and vanilla idk

Name a follower you would fuck. @you-better-make-me!

Name a follower you have fucked. None..

What’s the sexiest part of your body? Idk man I guess my thighs are ok people seem to like them anyway

FuckMarryKill: DJ Khalid, Rick Ross, Fat Joe Am i supposed to know who these people are

Would you ever be with a trans person? i think the real question is would i ever be with a cis person (yes i would be with a trans person i am with 2 trans people and i am trans and i havent dated anyone cis since i was like 15)

Riding dick or doggy style? yes

Ever fucked in a school? Nope

Most random place you’ve had sex? havent really had sex in a random place lmao just beds

Would you ever be part of the mile high club? maybe..? thats having sex on a plane right. idk. maybe

Name three of your spots. what does this mean fkjd

Fuck on the first date? Depends

Do you suck dick? I’m sure gonna try!

Do you eat ass? Idk maybe not skdfjhsjk

Do you eat pussy? Haven’t yet, nearly did, got too nervous sdkjfh

Do you like kissing? So much!!

Is farting during sex sexy? I.. I mean its not sexy but like im also not gonna have a negative reaction. unless its me. that is something im admittedly very nervous about fkjd

Ever fucked in the shower? Nope

How old were you when you lost your virginity? Uh............ good question. 19 or 20 i forget if it was before my birthday but within the last year. unless you only count penetrative sex, then I haven’t yet

Do you prefer sex in the morning, afternoon, or night? Y..yes? I suppose afternoon/night is usually a better time, morning is jsut sleepy and trying to remember how to exist hours

Do you like drunk sex? Haven’t had it but I do get horny when I drink, wouldn’t be against trying it with someone I trust

Do you like high sex?  Again never had it! And I haven’t really been high either so Idk

FuckMarryKill: Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; Kash Doll N..none for any

When was your first kiss? I was like 13 I think

How did you meet the person you lost your virginity to? College

Have you ever faked an orgasm? Nope. Wait maybe. Kind of. Idk when I was younger I was with this guy who would try get me to touch myself n I hadn’t figured out how to make it feel good so I’d just lie and say I was when i wasnt bc i didnt wanna do it so maybe at some point i said i came when i hadnt sdfhks

Ever painted/been painted on? Yeah but not in like a horny way, my ex would paint on my hand as kinda their way of flirting with me

You like sex toys? Sure

What’s your favorite sex position? Personally think missionary is underrated bc that closeness and being able to cling just sounds v good but also getting fucked from behind face down ass up also sounds,, v good lately

Sex on a bed, couch, or floor? beddd, maybe couch, floor just seems uncomfortable

Do you like car sex? Never had it, just seems a bit awkward but I guess I’d be open to trying it

You get instantly horny; what happened? My neck got bit!

FuckMarryKill: Trey Songz, Chris Brown, August Alsina. Kill chris brown. idk who the others are

Describe your crush. Don’t have one!

Woukd you ever be with someone with an incurable STD? Uh... Idk? I mean, theres preventative measures for basically all std’s right? So as long as those are taken so i dont also get it I guess it’d be ok

Rate your head game. No clue dkfhdsj

Rate your sex. Awkward!

Would you fuck someone outside of your race? ?? yes. what kind of question is this

Describe the type of freak you are. idk what this means but what first came to mind was ‘pet’ so take that as u will

Ever tasted your own nut/cum? Sure

Into golden showers? Nope

Body count: Under or Over 25? Wayyy under

How do you feel about nipple play? Uh depends! Not into being harsh like clamps etc just seems like itd hurt n not in a good way, but playing w/ them w ur hands and sucking on them. very good

Where do you like to be nutted on? chest/stomach seems good

Which are you better at: topping or bottoming? bottoming

What do you consider “too small?” Idk man dick is dick idc

Is play fighting foreplay? It sure can be!

Do you like angry sex? In concept maybe, in reality itd just kinda scare me

How long should a quickie be? Idk.. quick

How long is “too long” to have sex? Idk sex ends whenever one of u wants to stop, don’t think u can go too long if ur both comfortable with it

How long is “too long” to go without sex? Listen i.. am not the person to be asking this I’ve had sex maybe 3 times spread out over almost a year. i have never regularly had sex

Is “no” relevant in a relationship? Incredibly relevant!! Always!! Unless you’ve discussed beforehand that its ok to ignore it and have a safeword in place instead!! and then that safeword is not to be ignored!!

Do you believe in no-strings-attached sex? Sure but idk if i could do it

Would you have sex in a public bathroom? mmmaybe....

Would you have sex in a changing room? mmmmmmmmaybe

Who was the last person you had sex with? My ex

Describe your type. Idk I have the weirdest type i think they have like nothing in common then theyll all turn around and be into the same stuff or something its v strange

Name 3 turn-ons. Biting, just making out sometimes tbh, skin contact in places usually covered by clothes or under clothes..

Name 3 turn-offs. Umm. i definitely have turn offs but whenever im asked my mind goes blank. I guess being overly rough, hair pulling im undecided on tbh, and oh i usually dont like having my ass smacked but idk if itd change if it were like.. in the middle of sex

Name something that would make you stop in the middle of sex. Bad pain or panicking or it seems like the other person is uncomfortable. or someones knocking on the door for some reason sdkfjs

Would you answer a phone call during sex? no omg

Would you ever pay for sex? Nah.

Would you accept money for sex? Uh. Maybe? Wouldnt ask for it tho

How do you typically feel after sex? Mostly affectionate and good, but w the last person i was with sometimes it seemed like they just wanted it over and done with so i would get kinda nervous and guilty over that,, idk

Do you like your body? Nah

Ever sent nudes? Yep

Have you ever cheated on someone? Yeah he was abusive

Have you ever been cheated on? Idk, maybe, wait i think the guy i cheated on tried saying he cheated on me too but idk if he was just trying to get back at me so

Would you have a threesome? If I trust the people sure

Would you have a foursome? Same as above

Would you take part in an orgy? Uhh idk maybe, same as above applies tho

Would you let’s train be ran on you? Again if I trust the people yeah sure

How often do you masturbate? Idk it really depends sometimes im really horny and its like daily maybe more than once a day and then sometimes i just dont for like. a while

Sex with the lights on or off? on.. how are u meant to see what ur doing otherwise sdjkhfs

Sex with music or tv in the background? Sure, idc really. Though i have a thing if its like.. kids stuff.........dont do that..........

Do you have a cousin you’d fuck if you weren’t related? wtf no

In your last relationships, rate the sex? Uhh... good? I mean, good at the time, though like i said sometimes felt a bit rushed, and that now makes sense and i have very mixed feelings on it but mostly guilt bc the person i was with has since said they werent really into it. so.

Do you sleep naked? Nah I at least have underwear on

How often do you go commando? Never

Are your nipples pierced? If not, would you get them pierced? Nope

Do you dive right into sex, or converse first? Uh, depends? Talking about it beforehand or even during can be good though. But i guess it doesnt have to be Right before it, it can be a bit in advance

After taking your clothes off, what’s the first move? Kiss.. touch,, etc,,

Do you make the first move? Um. w my ex i kinda had to bc as i said, i later found out they werent really into it. other than that i generally dont tho bc im very nervous abt all that, kinda especially after that discovery hdfbghf

Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a day? Nope

Do you like dryhumping ? Sure

Can you twerk or do a split on a dick? Probably not

Have you ever been recorded during sex? No but I’ve had a dream abt being recorded sucking someones dick it was weird

Do you watch porn during sex? W. who does that. how can u focus on that. why would u watch sex when ur having sex skdjfhsjdk

After fucking, do you try becoming friends with a one night stand? Never had a one night stand

What’s your kink? Praise! Marking! Collars!

Would you hook up with the same hook-up again? I don’t think i could have a hook up tbh so no

Ever made a relationship from a one night stand? nope

How romantic are you during sex? uh.. idk havent rly had chance to try being romantic during sex but soft sex sounds v good imo

Describe your sex in 5 words or less. in my experience so far? nervous and kinda awkward

[figureinthedistance]

ive been trying 2 make a post abt david berman fr the past 24 hrs not even for my own benefit but bc i feel like bc of the person he was + what he did fr me + many others i am obliged 2 deliver some sort of testament or sth i cant not create anything for him + i dont have many options open 2 me in terms of how 2 honour him. when i found out i was @ work + i left a couple hours later 2 go down 2 this grotto 2 the blessed mother mary in a nearby park + i prayed on it + it was like a rare occasion of feeling like prayer wasnt enough + i think its bc prayer is fr me + given how much DCB has done for me i shld do sth for him. theres not rlly anything i can do so until i think of sth better im jst gna make a post semi-articulating his greatness + hopefully someone who sees this + doesnt kno him will now kno tht 2 days ago an incredibly special + strong + kind man died. i kno it was important 2 him 2 leave an impact + i’ll try my best 2 always help w that from now on. 

 this is a new kind of grief. when i went thru his tag yesterday there were like 3 posts by different ppl abt how he had saved their lives when they were going thru rough times + he was definitely like a key component of my survival when i was a teen. + im struggling to think of anyone who balanced despair + hopelessness so well w humour his lyrics cld make me laugh + some of his songs were so feel good even while mapping the horrors of existence w/ this cutting accuracy that few im familiar w/ have ever matched. he was like simultaneously confirming u were right to fear everything u feared, but then also being like. shit theres still stuff to laugh abt. theres so much u can enjoy. (is the problem that we can't see or that the problem is beautiful to me?)

i keep thinking of new lyrics + having my heart broken all over again. “folks who’ve watched their mother kill an animal know that their home is surrounded by places to go.” there was a review fr his newest album which said they were tempted to engage in rlly lazy music reviewing, by jst quoting a dozen of his lyrics instead of actually saying anything themselves. another piece said tht it was a serious struggle choosing which lyrics to share bc they were all so powerful. bill callahan tweeted ‘the world is a david berman lyric’. theres also this ch*rles darwin quote abt charles lyell, where he says the book lyell wrote ‘altered the whole tone of one’s mind, and therefore that, when seeing a thing never seen by Lyell, one yet saw it partially through his eyes’. berman definietely taught me a lot abt seeing the world + like, finding meaning + connexion w banal, unpretty things (the darwin quote also reminds me of a line from bermans poetry: there were no new ways to understand the world/ only new days to set our understandings against. now tht we won’t get any more insight from him, we’re jst gonna have to keep reusing what hes already given us to understand the coming times). before i was on the joos/mountains binge id been in a built to spill phase, + they have a lyric like "u can take the world apart to figure out how it works" (not verbatim) + DCB did a more thorough job than i can think of witnessing from many others. i feel like trying 2 describe him almost sullies his legacy bc no words will ever b able to match his own. u cant find adequate language 2 describe them bc they took language 2 unprecedented heights. 

im fighting off the urge of making this abt me but i’ll note this once: it is fr me + fr all the other fans particularly...idk...unsettling? shocking? having this happen a month after the release of his 1st album in over a decade + a week before he was supposed 2 start touring. prior 2 this news id been listening to the joos + to purple mountains on repeat fr the first time in ages bc i was so excited abt his come back. + coinciding w that was the fact tht the last couple weeks say i have fr unrelated reasons been enduring some of the heaviest suicidality in months. having him take his life honestly feels like losing someone who was fighting along side me. 

i think a combination of factors make this such a deeply felt injustice, the first being how he so deserved peace. i halfway remember a conversation w my brother when i was like 16, + we were saying how the silver jews jst made u root fr him, u jst wanted him to overcome all the obstacles he was facing. another but similar reason this hits hard is bc i hold myself off from forming any sort of personal connection w celebrities or public figures but never felt the need 2 do that w him bc he never seemed 2 fit in those categories. he never toured + rarely gave interviews + was out of the business completely fr eleven years + was never anywhere close to being rich. i also jst trusted that he was as kind + genuine + selfless + loving + brave as he came across in the rare interview + in his music + in his fan interactions + in the anecdotes shared abt him by friends or colleagues (who always also seemed to be friends, anyway). his loved ones have said he understood how important his music was to ppl + i rlly hope he did, fully. on twitter a fan shared this email he sent them abt the recovery process fr addiction after they reached out 2 him while in detox. that was a special kind of honesty + love + kindness + bravery. 

everything is heartbreaking in retrospect, which is unsurprising considering the topics of his music + poetry, but even the lighthearted stuff too. complementing the above linked tweet, this very sweet funny charming email he sent a fan tht they posted on twitter is almost unbearable fr its inclusion of the line, ‘its good to be remembered’. he was such a special person + he has done so much + deserved so much that its not right or just of me 2 keep all these thoughts + feelings to myself. he deserves to have them put out in the world in recognition of how deeply special he was. 

[many-gay-magpies]

HELLO. GOOD MORNING. HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW CONCEPT PHOTOS OH MY GOOOODDDDDDD HEAD FULL. HEAD SO FULL MANY THOUGHTS. SEVERAL BODERLINE UNHOLY THOUGHTS. ANYWAYS ALSO UR HEESEUNG DRAWING!!! IM SO PROUD OF U FOR FINISHING HE LOOKS SO GOOD!!! THE SHADING AND LIGHTING IS REAL NICE !!!!

YESSS THE PAST SHENANIGANS OF TGE VAMPS. jakah would’ve been an Incurable street urchin/pickpocket back in the 1800s HES SO FAST HOW WOULD ANYONE CATCH HIM??? THEY WOULDNT ! and the idea of jino and jakah realizing that the random watch they stole off a guy is now more valuable than they could all imagine bc of how long has passed- they’d double over laughing and not even pawn it bc “hey- it’ll only be worth More the longer we wait !” AND THEM IN A MUSEUM LMAO imagine decelis takes a field trip to a museum for educational purposes and theyre like “how the Fuck did all this end up in riverfield this hideout is from a country over” and jaan literally has to clap his hand over shion’s mouth when he starts speaking. fantastic

YEAH . YEAH LOTS OF IMMORTALITY FEELINGS. i’m getting emotional thinking abt sooha trying to teach the boys how to Live again instead of just existing from place to place- sneaking out, celebrating birthdays (they’ve all stopped counting, but sooha forces them to celebrate hers ofc, and no one mentions how small that number feels to them, and how fast it runs out), watching movies (ofc the boys are mildly wowed by how far film has come since the 30s), and just . little things that she has come to appreciate about Living that they gave up/moved past a long time ago. yeah .

- vrvr anon

YES IVE SEEN THEY LOOK SO GOOD. THEYRE SO BEAUTIFUL. some of the photos are sparkly and its literally feeding my soul; the styling and the vibes are everything, im so ready. BUT YES THE HEESEUNG!! IM DONE!! FINALLY!! after . *checks watch* yeah actually idk how long ive been working on him but MAN it has BEEN A BIT. that hair took me several days spread over multiple weeks im so glad its over HDBFJBFNF im proud of me too!! its the most detailed work ive posted i think, its like this big weight's been lifted off my shoulders-- thank you so much!!!

NO LITERALLY what we were talking about with jakah being fast and tiny and faster BECAUSE hes tiny, and therefore very good at slicing peoples' ankles . that would also apply to pickpocketing ! which in concept is just very fun to me! after the vamps escape the orphanage and start their new lives on-the-run, it's probably a while before they're able to grasp onto any sense of stability, so in those early years (which could mean anywhere from three years to like, thirty) they probably do a lot of pickpocketing and general minor misdemeanors in order to survive. also as far as food goes, even if they can eat SOME human food (like we saw shion eating ice cream that one time), its probably only liquids or liquid-adjacent foods, and they are still fundamentally vampires whose main source of food is blood. they wouldnt want to drink from humans, because something something morals something something still being conflicted about being vampires in the first place, but i DO wonder if the towns they pass through have... lots of complaints of suddenly/mysteriously disappearing or dead pets and livestock.

LMAO YES THE MUSEUM shion would totally be the one to start babbling out loud about all his stuff being behind glass and jaan has to shut him up and remind him "there is a REASON we talk to each other telepathically you brat".

oh the immortality feelings... the sooha feelings.... theyre real. and i actually have a lot of feelings specifically ABOUT the boys and birthdays because if they had their memories wiped as soon as they came to the orphanage, they wouldnt exactly REMEMBER their birthdays, would they? and for a while (because of how the people in the orphanage isolate them) they probably wouldnt even know that birthday celebrations are a THING. after escaping, they'd probably stumble across a few, and there'd be yet another bulletpoint added to the list of experiences they'd missed out on because of the orphanage—maybe they'd celebrate the day they all woke up together at the orphanage, since to them that sort of WAS their birth; or a second birth, anyway (since none of them remember the first). they'd celebrate the beginning of their bond and give new meaning to a day that used to have only negative connotations (the day they were kidnapped, the day they were trapped, the day they began to be altered irreversibly from the people, the CHILDREN they once were). or maybe they'd celebrate the day they escaped, instead—after all, they didn't REALLY start living (ironically enough) until they were free. but after a while, like you said, they'd probably forget; they've lived so long that keeping track of the years via some arbitrary celebration doesn't seem necessary anymore—that's what the new year is for. but then sooha comes along, asking them about birthdays and parties and when they should celebrate, then expresses shock when she hears that they don't celebrate their birthdays at ALL. they of course explain it to her; they dont remember their actual birthdays, plus they've lived so long that celebrating another year feels inconsequential. she insists, well, if you dont celebrate YOUR birthdays we'll just celebrate mine—and when the day comes she drags them all to some diner or ice cream parlor or movie theater in town and they spend the day together. the boys realize—or remember—huh, this isnt actually so bad; and maybe when everything quiets down sooha says to them, "when you get your memories back, we'll celebrate ALL of your birthdays."

so, yeah. feelings <//3

[kadywicker]

inifnity war spoilers ahead please leave now if u dont wanna see em

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you had WARNING

anyway heres a rough outline of my thought process thru the movie from what i can remember 

a dude walked in wearing a justice league shirt and it was the biggest power move of the evening

rip heimdall u truly were the hottest bitch in the mcu

i already saw the spoilers that loki died but im still in mourning. my chaotic twink son :( also him tearing up when thor was getting tortured was like, possibly, one of the worst things to happen to me this evening. and his “you will never be a god” and “we will see the sun rise again yet, brother” like i’d rather be dead.

wheres valkyrie you fucking bitches

i know marvel has been trying to make me care about pepper and tony for like.... the entirety of the mcu and in theory i enjoy it but in reality i just heavily do not care

walked into this w out watching dr strange bc i refuse to so seeing him was very unpleasant for me :/

the second that one fuckin... servant of thanos guy showed up that tony called squidward i just burst into fucking laughter bc oh my fucking god. he looks like one of the star wars prequels aliens. i didnt know how i was supposed to react to that??? what the fuck????? kin? 

at least this time tony attempted to get peter away from the fight ig??? also like okay i kno its a running gag but did the russos have to make peter reference old movies like what 3 times in this movie and once in their last one like please..... Please. its done. its over! 

look...... look. look! look. i have made MULTIPLE posts on this website about how ugly i think chris evans is. especially when hes got his weird short, spiky hair. ive made this very VERY clear. i thought i was clear on this, myself. but let me tell u the fuck what when steven grant rogers showed up covered in complete darkness and caught a spear that moves at the speed of light w no hesitation and then stepped out of the shadows i only had one thought: please raw me

also i still dont care about wanda and vision but did wandas accent get slightly less bad or is this just exposure

drax’s reaction to thor was um. Me. also it was this scene that made me realize that ppl saying that the russos reset thor to his previous characterization and that he was nothing like ragnarok thor i....????? hm???? idk i thought he was p in character from what we saw in ragnarok? like did u all expect him to be super light and happy go lucky immediately after his entire planet died and his brother died too like. what.... did u Want. hes still not as grimdark as dark world and he still has the ragnarok vibes but w added “Lifes a Fucking Nightmare So Im Going to Joke Until Someone Murders Me :)” which is just honest to god me, so

oh also in an above part when tony pulled out a flip phone to call steve the dude next to me loudly hissed “what? a fucking flip phone-?” and his wife shushed him. i wanted to lean over and inform him that it was the phone from civil war and if hed been paying ATTENTION he wouldve known that

things arent going to be in much order after this bc im tired and its all a big jumble in my adhd brain but thats okay. its been 6 years and i still couldnt tell u the entire plot of the avengers, so.

tbh the effects in this movie were really fucking gorgeous like.... all the different planets’ scenery was so goddamn beautiful. like idk how to spell it so im not gonna attempt but the planet that gamora died on was literally so fucking pretty i was stunned into a silence what the FUCK was that beautiful nonsense

not enough steve and bucky interaction bc marvels personally out to get me, a known gay

i cant believe buckys a fucking goat farmer like ohfa sdfhadof ?????? just let the man feed his goats in PEACE 

didnt love the whole “thanos really loved gamora” bit but like it makes sense ig. if thats what he thought love was? altho that definitely doesnt mean she loves him or shouldve ever forgiven him bc uuuh Yikes. anyone w abusive parents knows that kind of possessive, overbearing love. and it might be some fucked up twisted form of it but it aint good.

but whoever they casted as baby gamora was spot on? 

when red skull lifted his hood i literally whispered “oh my god” and the lady next to me started laughing at me. 

also while there was a good amount of fighting i rlly appreciated that it wasnt All Fighting and just there to show off that they had cool special effects. like.... it was mostly story and for someone who doesnt give a shit abt action sequences it was v relieving that i didnt have to parse through 2 and a half hours of watching someone do cool but impractical stunts 

man idc abt wanda and dont like mcu natasha bc of the actress but when that chick was like “youll die alone” and natasha said “shes not alone” and then kicked ass i rlly just. hm. thats lesbian.

anyone else agree that when strange said mournfully that there was only one outcome and then said that giving up the time stone was the only way, its basically just telling us that this was all planned and it Will work out fine bc he knew that this was the one path that would lead to them winning. like..... im at least 99% sure thats whats going to happen, here.

steve and bucky may have said 2 sentences to each other but steve reaching out to grab a handful of buckys ashes w a stricken look was literally the worst moment of my entire life and i plan to sue marvel for emotional damages bc that was fucking terrible and i cannot BELIEVE they made me watch that idc if bucky comes back im fuckin pissed

also thats literally every team iron man member to realize that the accords were bullshit and if its 2018 and u still think the accords were right/a good thing i honestly do not know what to tell you

fuckin..... im lookin at captain marvels powers and shes cool and all but hows she gonna save all this........ now im even more curious abt what her movies gonna bring like ???? hello??????

also the only time the theater clapped or cheered was when steve showed up and literally same

i know all the dust ppl r coming back but alsof uc kin......... that was brutal

idk i dont have much 2 add im very sleepy but

i liked it a lot and im excited for the next movie. there were some things that i thought were in poor taste but like..... thats what i expect from every marvel movie, so. im pleasantly surprised by how good this was. idk why but during it it kinda like.... it had the same vibes as return of the king????? like i dont know Why but it has a very.... lotr movie feel to it. but w the staple marvel jokes. idk how to feel about that. i think its good? im not sure. get back to me in a few days after the movie highs worn off and if i still like it then its got my stamp of approval.