#idk i might delete this later. just thinking out loud (in post)

[aquapede]

starting to feel like it's kind of a waste of my time to post my artwork online considering it gets very very limited responses if any. i don't even care about the numbers! i just want people's thoughts and feelings about what i've made! this is a sentiment i've felt before but it feels especially prevalent now where i'm posting on multiple sites and putting effort into image IDs and getting less back in exchange. it really just eats up my time and then makes me feel like what i've made is inadequate.

[kuoukyeee]

Kengan characters on social media

This is what I think the kengan characters would do, some of them aren't very accurate cus I haven't read the manga in soooo longgg.

Let me know if you guys want a part 2!

Feedback is appreciated!

Sfw

Adam Dudley

Mostly public accounts with a pretty large following maybe 2-3k. I can see him having insta and tik tok, I can't see him on twitter or tumblr just because he doesn't seem like the type to enjoy reading in his free time.

He doesn't post much (he does thirst traps and they sometimes go viral) and he doesn't add many things to his story.

His following consist of mostly dudes and a few girls who he's talked to or found him cute. His feed and fyp are filled with 'alpha' motivation and humor and pretty girls. You best believe he's includes himself in petty drama in every comment section.

Akiyama Kaede

Has instagram, twitter and tumblr. They are all private and only close family and friends follow her. Her profiles are very organised and pleasing to look at. She posts rarely, when she goes out somewhere nice.

In the mini comics it's cannon that she is into shipping fictional characters, so she probably interacts with the fandoms shes in. Her feed is her friends posts, a few outfit ideas here and there and maybe news. (Idk). She's not afraid to smash the 'block' and 'not interested' button when she sees something she doesn't like, she doesn't take no bs.

Elena Robinson

VERY organised and aesthetic profiles. Has to put her accounts on private because Mokichi forced her to, so she would be 'safe from weirdos online'. She mostly posts selfies of when she goes out with her friends (karla) and on her stories she puts cute animals and nice scenery. DEFINETLY has pinterest.

You KNOW all her friends are up in her dms and comments hyping her up. (Her friends are probably just as sweet as her🥺)

Hatsumi Sen

He's not very active, he only has a few decent pictures of himself posted. Messages every woman he finds and hearts all their stories, uses sucky pick up lines like the ones he uses on Shion. (They all block him). Like Adam, he listens to alpha male podcasts.

Though most of the time he's too busy relaxing, which leaves his accounts collecting dust. He makes excuses about leaving people on delivered but we all know he's just lazy.

Himuro Ryo

Just like Hatsumi he uses pick up lines when messaging women, however he succeeds as his ones aren't cringe. Posts pictures and selfies of him doing whatever frequently and all his simps eat it up. (Also posts 'felt cute might delete later' pictures).

He's pretty popular at 6-7 ish k. He's one of those people who have a shit ton of notifications.

He threatens posting unflattering pictures of Lihito and Okubo daily.

Imai Cosmo

Follows meme pages and sends memes to Seki and Waka. Has a private spam account and a public main where he posts pictures with his family on holidays.

His feed and fyp is mostly memes with some cute animal videos sprinkled throughout. Sometimes when he sees a particularly cute video, he leaves a positive comment like 'aww your puppy is so cute🥺' .

I can see him as the type to always have airpods in his ears blasting music so loud that everyone can hear. Seki and Waka have had to remove his earphones quite a few times to get his attention.

[fantomette22]

(Do not respond if it makes you uncomfy, reading is enough) I am late for the party but IMO it is really hypocritical when people say you can't ship ghrmria if traditionally mourning dolls were made for children and then turn around and ship mria with a woman who addresses her as her superior and is a victim of nasty experiments mria is covering up. Everyone only bothers with nuance instead of just letting people enjoy things when it is the ship they dislike.

Hello anon! Ah I know what post you read hehe (it resume really well the situation!) Thanks for the support as well ! Some people (one person in that case, can really be hypocrite yes).

I want to talk about this. I mean it's been a part of the harassment I got but you understand I don't wanna scream it out loud everything either. I don't wanna discuss some stuff publicly either so I will keep it to the essential. And well I hope I won't get bother bc of this again. (putting the rest undercut it's a big long sorry 😅)

Alright so I never actually show the ask in question I got. Only in dm to some mutuals & friends. Idk if I should share it publicly so if you want just ask me privately there's no problem I will show it. I got tons of other dumb things too but I won't share them publicly. I'm not playing that game. I'm not answering to hate with hate.

Basically, like you read before the person "ask me" more details on my view on their relationship if I think the Doll is a mourning doll (that parents made for their children) (see my essay/analysis I made a few months ago on the Doll. I will need to update it one day XD so this person might have read it). I mean yeah I think she's similar/have a similar purpose as a mourning doll but she's special. She's not your typically victorian child morning doll TM. Then, they wanted to know more about my different interprets, AUs etc

Love when people disagree bc they don’t like you but then agree with people they like who said the same thing as you… genuine evolution ? Hm…

For real I would love to talk about my many interpretations /stories about this 2 characters (with multiple interprets contradicting each others) but I want a genuine question from someone I know / someone I can put a name one. (even sending the ask on anon but telling in dm who is it is ok too! 👍)

Not someone hiding being anon and with vicious intend. Not someone who's stalking my blog (not a follower), previously (and after) fake approval of my ship content* and harassed me repetitiously for weeks if not months because I interact some times to times with someone they don't like.

*before that I got a "backhanded fake approval" over some drawings I did. Telling me "oh it's cute and all. You're doing it the right way" but then twisting it in a disgusting way with some awful sexist comments... trying to pass the fans of the pairing (and myself?) for bad people I guess? I did answer to it but call them out a bit too. It's on private now. I might have a link somewhere (because well I did spend some times writing cool ideas I want to keep for later)

At first I wasn't sure it was the same person (the fake approval, thoughts about the morning dolls and the harassing asks). But I had doubt so I never answer it. I'm glad I did because surprise ! IT WAS THE SAME PERSON all along ! (when I block ip address it was all deleted) Like wow harassing me, trolling me and trying to fake a genuine question before harassing me more? wow people are sure fascinating. (I really want do believe in you bud ! hope you become a better person !)

I took some precautions as well after all of this. That would be a shame to go private or disable anon ask for 1 bad behaved person. I hope it will be alright now and that I won't get bother anymore.

So about the other ship you mention... at first I was positive toward it but because of a few persons well I tend to be way neutral towards it now (and it's still the main thing in a minor AU of mine lol). Personally, I think, because of my view of Blood.borne world, the healing church, the research hall... that after the experiments began on her it doesn't really work/make sense for me anymore... But I won't go bother people who imagine/interpret a softer version just to be happy and have fun ! got for it guys!

But for real the wort ship experience I had so far was in Kingdom H/earts fandom XD (love this series too) imagined you follow smn cool (twi.tter) and they indirectly punch you? "oh I know the difference between who's a friend and not if you ship characters a&b or not" 💀 like wtf sure you prefer them being friends but don't insult people liking the paring ? specially when there's clues about it idk??

I feel it's more a problem of respecting other people (& their thoughts) than proving they're not canon/ accurate or not. it's not even analysis against facts it's just how I think your ideas (and you) sucks because it's my ideas are not the same.

It’s impossible to 100% agree with everyone about everything. But if it’s not hurting anyone/ dangerous ideas just minimum respect pls. That already hurt enough people throw history and still today (but well the internet..)

I would love to talk more about the characters I love really but all this is making me exhaust mentally. Even when people are nice and calm about it I'm still concerned smn is gonna understand things wrong and just decide to go bother instead of just ignoring it.

[emeraldbabygirl]

I very strongly believe, and I’m not one to state my opinions on the sexuality of idols out loud unless I’m close with someone and it happens to come up in conversation, but I’m convinced that yoojung and kb are actually in a relationship and have been. Like, I’ve made jokes about their matching fits and them laying together and being all cute and shit and the whole “taebin flesh flap supremacy” but idk they have a strong chemistry just from what I’ve seen of them together that I’d be extremely baffled if they were not an item or even gay.

Maybe it’s just me wanting them to be together cause I like the thought of it and they are so cute together anyway even if they are just friends. I just idk I like the idea that they are just together and it’s kinda a secret but since they do the gay representation in all their stuffs that people just assume it’s fitting and they don’t question it idk. Anyway this is the only time I’ll ever say anything like this cause I don’t like to say “oh this idol is this and this one is def this�� cause I don’t care and it’s not my business anyway, and I’m def not going to go on twitter or insta and say this cause for one thing I hate twitter so much and another thing is I don’t feel good about saying anything about an idol that might cause an argument or they might see it or it might just cause problems, esp on twitter because the piranhas on that site will take anything you say and turn it around and shit all over you I’ve seen it happen and experienced it myself. I hate twitter. Fuck twitter. I only have it to follow idols and a few friends but it’s so toxic, so many people are just straight up asswipes.

I’ve seen people go on places like twitter and tiktok where the idols have accounts and can check tags and look at stuff if they want and then like push their views and opinions on to idols and constantly bring up stuff and talk about stuff about an idol and like we don’t know them, we don’t know if something they see might make them uncomfortable we shouldn’t say stuff that can cause problems. In general like I don’t say stuff about idols, like I have this blog and I say whatever I want about an idol whether it’s negative or positive or sexual or whatever and they will never see it cause it stays on my blog. I don’t say anything to idols or about idols on insta or twitter if it’s going to cause a problem or they might see it and get upset. Ok I did one thing once, I haven’t done it since, as I joke (which you have to be careful when trying to joke with idols and people in general) anyway I said “please choke me” or something along those lines on a pic of st.van. That’s all I’ve said to an idol like that, I mostly just uwu and give idols compliments and sometimes they like them <3 but I’ve seen people like tag the idol or stuff and just kinda bug them or like spam comments on their lives and stuff idk anyway, and there’s people that are like, like on tiktok I’ve seen some people be like “don’t assume an idols sexuality” and then they say “but these idols are all gay” like bro. Bro what? Like you can assume all you want about an idol but don’t like rub it in their faces and like harass them just cause you assume they are or aren’t a certain way. And why should you care anyway? It’s their life and you’re not even like, we’re strangers and what they do or who they do is none of our business.

It derailed a bit but yeah I’m only saying this cause idk I..idk anyway as long as my shit talks and things stay on my blog and I’m not taking to social media and saying things that could snowball into something I’m okay. I just wanted to say that I really think KB and Yoojung would be so cute and I was joking about them getting married but if they did I think they would be together forever and yeah anyway. I might delete this later. Also also I’m not the best at putting my thoughts into words and I don’t think this post will upset anyone but if it does it’s not intentional and I’m sorry. I really just wanted to vomit about how cute kb and yoojung are and how I’m jealous of them and want what they have even if it’s just platonic, and I ended up..ranting.

Tl;dr: I think kb and yoojung are bofies and I didn’t want to say this on twitter cause I don’t want someone to carve it in stone and then harass me for my opinions or try to tell them specifically that they have to be gay cause another person said so or whatever. I’m just entertaining the thought purely for myself. AND THIS IS JUST MY OPINION PLEASE DONT EAT MY ASS. IM NOT EVEN GOING TO FIGHT ANYONE ON THIS LIKE I DONT KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM ITS JUST A SILLY OPINION. I don’t care if they’re gay I don’t care if they’re straight, I don’t care if they were purple leprechauns that lived in my butt, it don’t matter to me at all I just think they are cute is all. I really don’t care, if they’re happy they are happy it’s not my business and I’m not going to bang pots and pans together demanding that they be a certain way. Ok I’m done I’m sorry.

[i-may-be-paranoid]

my parents never physically abused me, but I have extensive experience with violations of privacy. here's some tips I can think of at the moment, might add more later:

if they've installed a parental controls vpn on your phone that takes away your ability to access most apps at certain times, you can pre-emptively turn on airplane mode so that the vpn can't connect and delete/hide your apps. this does still prevent you from being able to access the internet, though

in my experience, grippy/slipper socks are actually pretty loud when you peel them off the floor for each step. idk it might vary by brand

anything taped to the bottom of a desk/table is at huge risk of falling and getting noticed. even stickynotes aren't immune to this

a lot of vpns that block certain sites can technically be turned off via settings on ios, but automatically turn themselves back on every minute or so. it can be pretty cumbersome to keep going back to turn it off, but it was the only way I was able to use tumblr at first

you can make a diy butterfly suture out of just scotch tape, but make sure to let the wound dry first! I also don't recommend using cotton pads or tissues to clean it, as those'll just shed bits into the wound. nasty.

browsing screenshots of posts on google images was my only way of seeing any social media for years, but sometimes the parental controls vpn would tell my parents that I was actually on the site that an image I was looking at was hosted on, even though I hadn't left google images. so uh keep that risk in mind I guess

places that are easily accessible from my bed were always the first areas that my parents checked on their random searches of my stuff. the nightstand table and under the bed are probably the least safe spots. in fact, the least likely-to-be-searched hiding spots are outside of one's room entirely — disused drawers in the living room tv table, the back of the lower shelves of the pantry, that sort of thing. not always feasible for stuff you'll need even when it's not safe to leave your room though

this might be more niche, but some internal doors with locks come with a few universal "keys" that can be inserted in the doorknob to turn the lock from the other side. in my house, they could be found on the tops of doorframes. parents will want a monopoly on these, and may treat their kid having one as some sort of violation of what is rightfully theirs. bobby pins work just fine or the same purpose, and they're a lot less likely to be clocked as suspicious anyhow

this probably goes without saying, but be mindful of the placement of indoor security cameras, especially when you're on your phone or computer. back in 2020, my parents set one up right behind my computer desk so that they could watch everything I did on it. even years before then, I got caught fucking around on my phone on the couch because they were watching me through the living room camera. it's like those cameras in 1984 where you're not always sure that they're watching but the possibility is enough to keep you in line yknow

also! beware strategically placed mirrors. the aforementioned computer desk was against the same wall as the doorway to the room, but there was a mirror hanging on the opposite wall, and my parents would often watch me through the doorway (where I couldn't see them) and come in if they saw me switch to a tab that was anything other than schoolwork

when I was like 9, I marked the creaky step with a small dot of nail polish on the vertical part so I could skip it. it's painted over now, but it was worth it. also seconding the advice about crawling/crabwalking up/down the stairs

ALSO seconding the bit about doing smaller infractions to cover up bigger ones! if they're already suspicious, it's better to have something that doesn't matter as much to you to satisfy that suspicion than to try and convince them you've done nothing "wrong"

despite my earlier advice about obvious hiding spots, hidden outlets on the wall behind your bed can be a lifesaver for charging electronics

if your phone is several years old and barely functioning due to nearly-full storage, and your parents decide to get you a new one but don't sell/toss your old one, you might be able to secretly keep your old phone minus the sim card (assuming that's in your new phone). it's best to wait a few months before grabbing it from wherever your parents are keeping it, as it's less likely to be front-of-mind for them then. this can be incredibly risky even if you do know where it is, how to get in, and when they won't be around to see. definitely hide it someplace difficult to access and out-of-the-way and don't get it out for a good while to wait out their potential reaction to its disappearance. if you back it up and then clear out the storage, it'll work like new. anything from like 2012 or earlier won't be compatible with modern wifi routers though

many parental controls vpns have essentially tamper alarms on them that will send your parents an alert if you try to delete them from your device! I found this out when I specifically tried to test that and then had to pass it off as "I was just so angry that qustodio was glitching out again haha, so impulsive of me"

sometimes those fake book boxes actually work. not the ones from like michael's crafts halloween decorations though lmao, those are hopelessly unrealistic

on iphones, the "hidden" section in photos is facial-recognition locked, but my mom has caught on and once or twice has made me unlock it for her. it might be a good idea to keep that full of stuff that only breaks the rules a little bit and have another place for stuff you really want to hide. mine is full of old trevorspace screenshots… I miss that place

iirc trevorchat lets you instantly close it and clear your history by hitting escape thrice(?). dunno if it can get around restrictions that keep you from clearing your browser history though

I lost track of where I was going with this because I went to look it up and ended up recovering my old trevorspace account and saving this to drafts for a week. anyway cheers

hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak

[featherdownmoor]

i want to document everything that happened from new years up till now so here goes:

kavi had nowhere to be for new years and neither did i but i had sent brindo this post

and brindo and i both knew we wanted to follow up on it ..

i suppose me especially bc i proceeded to do what ANY rational person would do and 1. when he says "i guess this midnight maybe not" leave him on read 2. send him smirking emoji hours later 3. stuff 12 (red) grapes in mouth under the dining table with kavi at midnight 4. pocket a set of housekeys on the way up 5. wish mom and sister goodnight and happy new year as they head off to sleep 6. delete life360 (temporarily) and order a grab (it comes IN 3 FUCKING MINUTES) 7. whisper to kavi in the toilet that its otw 8. grab out bags and phones and scramble as quiet as possible out the balcony door 9. climb over the railing, tiptoe across the side wall and jump down (kavi deadass might have twisted something because she jumped so far down, on impact saw her glasses fall off her nose and then for 2 seconds she just stared up at at me dazed w her glasses senget lmfao she kind of looked like a hyrax or a squirrel hearing a loud noise) 10. at this time the grab is already pulling up so i bite my lip and jump down, we scurry back and pull our shoes on before opening the gate as quietly as we can possibly muster and run outside into the grab

in the grab we are borderline hysterical at what we just pulled off and we are LAUGHING AND LOSING our minds

i say i should have locked our bedroom door in case my mom checks on us but in retrospect I'm glad we didn't

it is 12.20 and we are on the way to menara bangsar, we yap and freak out all the way

when we're finally there kavi pays for the grab (i love you kavi) because I'm all over the place and forgot the money

we walk up to the guardhouse in a daze and i give the unit number

guard makes me call him so i do

i say "michael. I'm outside"

"what? what?" " im outside" "seriously?" "im outside" "abigail." "im outside" "what. abigail. really??" "IM OUTSIDE CAN YOU PLEASE JUST COME DOWN" "Abigail??" "you're embarrassing me rn" "okay shit"

he comes down and its obviously awkward because i have kavi with me which i dont think he was expecting, but

he brings us upstairs but contemplates bringing us elsewhere ("its bangsar everything is open" kavi says, he agrees)

he brings us inside but not after going inside and seemingly clearing it with everyone (he comes out and says "well now the entire house knows you're here")

shows us around (boxes and treasures and artefacts everywhere, a stray feather on the wires on the windows, in the sunroom there's a view of the highway below and boy is it pretty at night)

his sister shadows us, she smiles nonstop i think shes excited to have us around (meanwhile he tries to lock her in the wine cellar)

then all of a sudden my mom calls me .......... and im shit scared but i keep my voice normal and im pacing the hallway as kavi watches me in the hall looking nervous and Michael watches me too, in the doorway, his head slightly cocked to the side and a smile playing on his lips like he's considering me

at one point she says "but you sound like you're in a room" and i know its because of the echo but i say "no we are on the road"

as we're going back inside he keeps calling me a rebel ("but in a rizzy way" he says) (i think he found it attractive)

we go into his room and we're standing by the window sofa seat (he called it the "abigail appreciation ottoman") and he's suddenly like "can you sit on that for a second" so i do, and then he says "now its met its namesake" LMFAO

honestly the first 10 mins were awkwardish pointing at random stuff in the room and commenting on it, to the point kavi whispered at me "are yall always this awkward" and i didn't know what to say back cuz yes initially we are always like this :skullemoji:

but then after a certain point (and idk what it was exactly) we started loosening up quite a lot and we just started yapping about ao3 and asmr and other secret embarrassing things you would keep from your partner (as we said that he blurted out "oh no you never have to keep things like that from me" which in retrospect was sweet to say)

kavi to her credit was sporadically disinterested (prolly on purpose too, at 1.43am she texted me saying "KISS ALREADY" but i didn't see it until later) with the convo and would let the convo splinter off to me and him, but whenever we were talking as a trio i felt really comfortable it just flowed so well, i felt happy that as a potentially possibly mutually attracted pair of people (see: "couple") we can yap for hours w each other but could also yap with friends like its nothing, like its completely natural

whenever i said some nonsense they both would just stare straight at me (kavi: :D ... , michael: o_o ..)

at some point kavi went on bumble and i made us play smash or pass on it, michael happily glided over on his gaming chair to join

we all took turns commentating on each guy (one guy had "fat lazy and black" as his two truths and a lie) it was honestly funny as fuck

sporadically reminiscing about our profiles on bumble (he made fun of my beryls tiramisu thing, i made fun of his "i hope that you are schizophrenic" thing, but we both agreed that they worked), and kavi about her evil Iranian ex (how he was a big guy and middle eastern and that prolly shaped her taste in men also)

he asked what my fav photo of him from his profile was, and i said the one where he was scrunching his face up at the camera, he said he didn't remember and i said well you could always check... (that was bait) and he went "well i deleted bumble" and i said "i know you did . that was bait"

"funny story is that the main reason i downloaded bumble was because my dad told me he wanted to see me with a girl on my arm before he goes, and so i did, and now look. in a few months job DONE." and then he pauses and goes, slower this time "plus i was lucky enough to end up with a girl i actually like..." and then I'm like "do i know this girl?! :>>" and he's just like "mmm you might actually know her yea..."

he asked me if i would have swiped on him if he was only my height and i said yes and i think he liked that answer because he smiled

at one point i forgot what it was, but we were joking about something and all three of us were laughing hysterically, and then i added onto the joke (wasn't that funny iirc) and it made him laugh the hardest I've ever seen him ever laugh (his laughs are naturally silent it seems, but he broke into the biggest goofiest closed eyes grin I've ever seen on him and it made me happy)

two things i noticed, and remarked to nickhil the next day: 1. i was lowkey scared to let bro meet kavi because kavi is unironically the prettiest girl i know. her hair cascades in curls and she has this like quiet demure mystique about her. so yeah i was nervous. but after a while i began to realize, holy shit wtf he is barely looking at her, and sitting on that gaming chair his entire body is shifted towards ME. (idk how the fuck) now and then as i was talking his gaze softens and he smiles slightly when i told nickhil this he said no shit la 2. his body language was actually wack bro after he moved himself over on the chair to play smash or pass, at some point i realized he was deadass almost straddling me w his legs

like that.

at some point i do the shivery knee thing to him, he says he hates it (i can tell he doesnt) and then he does it to me and then that just devolves into giving each other chinese burns and me playing with his hands making them clap (on the grab home kavi mentioned how touchy we were getting towards the end) mentioned this to nickhil and again he was like "no shit bro yall are into each other so obviously..."

another miscellaneous thing is that i kept self consciously trying to hide my legs and feet from him and he seemed genuinely confused why i would even do that (and not in a concerned way either just straight up confused)

anyway the grab was fucking expensive but he booked it anyway, and kavi (fed up at us both for not kissing) goes "ok THATS IT I'm leaving the room" but me (nervous) goes "ok and ill follow you..!" which makes her sigh loudly

in the cold elevator light its a bit awkward and I'm a bit disappointed bc we didnt kiss but i was still like well we had a lotta fun yapping so its ok

then we are 1waiting on the road outside the lift lobby (as you can see, there is a recessed area in the wall where the stairs and door leading back into the lift lobby is, and on that wall by the door there is a card access with a face ID and an automated voice)

orange is kavi, green is me, dark red is michael

as we're waiting i look at michael and impulsively.. i tap my lips twice with my index finger (LMFAO)

he goes O_O and flicks his eyes at kavi behind us (shes on her phone) to signal "shes here, are u sure"

and i mouth "just oneee" with a whine lmfao

his eyes flick back at her and i can tell he's unsure so i step into the alcove/recessed part right next to the door (bc cannot see us from the street) and he steps next to me

i dont even have to say anything, he just dips down and kisses me on perfectly on the lips. his lips are soft and warm, my stomach melts into fluttering, and i feel all floaty

we dissolve into giggles while the stupid keycard access is going "confirmed, thank you! thank you! please face- thank you!"

as we walk out i mouth to kavi that we kissed and she freaks out

he waves goodbye (i could be wrong but i might have heard him call me gail) , he walks off but as the car is pulling out and leaving it passes him again and he's already on the phone (i heard him say "its been 2 whole hours" and as we drove past i probably had my jaw agape and my eyebrows furrowed bc i freakedout assuming he called my parents but no it was his friends. and as we passed he grinned and waved as he continued talking to his friends)

in the car on the way back i hug kavi and thank her for pulling this insane shit with me, we laugh about how i expected to introduce him to my friends, over lunch or dinner or something, not like THIS

she of course made me tell her immediately about the kiss, and when i did she was like "omg no WONDER i KNEW something happened when yall disappeared and then suddenly i heard the giggling" "NO WONDER yk bc he walked out of the alcove first so i saw him first, he had this gigantic grin plastered on his face. he looked so freaking happy i knew something must have happened" all i could say to that was "he looked super happy? O_o ARRGGHH!!."

anyway, the next day kavi and i woke up at 9.30am and ate breakfast (garlic confit and crackers for me, nutella and garlic confit toast for her, and blueberry vanilla oat milk tea for me, whilst playing drss to impress)

in the car to seremban i fell asleep

on hansis bed with livvylovesasmr on, i fell asleep in a casket position

i typed out this entire story (summarized, on the spot) w jayden next to me, and when it came to the tapping finger on lips part it deadass sent jayden into HYSTERICSSSS. BRO HE STARTED ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING IN SHOCK AND AWE. BAHHHHHHGDDDH

and then nickhil came back, found me conked out on the bed and everyone else on their phones, forced us to go to the playground

it was a cool beautiful afternoon, dim skies and a really calming cold wind blowing

we swung on the swings, and then nickhil sat on top of the slide and i sat on the highest bar part of the spiral climber, we felt the wind kiss our hair and faces as we yapped and yapped and yapped about his getting-kissed-lowkey-by-force-incident and my new years night

IN SUMMARY: 1. i will remember this kiss for a very long time because it was sweet and simple and honestly totally unexpected. nothing theatrical about it, stupid doorbell going off in the bg, real laughter, basically perfect. and HE KISSED ME. cant believe it.... :>

2. but also aside from that i realized, being with kavi, jayden, nickhil, i realized in the new year i want to make a much bigger effort to be around these people who not only make me really happy, but also care about me far more than i expected them to. for example, yapping with nickhil high up in the playground, idly watching jayden, beatrise, hansi, and nova and bernie march around the bench where the feet massage stones are, or nova running after bernie trying to throw a dead snail at her, or jayden and bernie trying to toss tiny rocks at us up there, or jayden tickling my feet with leaves while i yell at him to stop, or them presenting the dead snail wrapped in leaves, all the while me and nickhil catching up and laughing and bantering like its nothing, that's when i realized why cant these people be my best friends? at that moment i realized they are already my best friends but i was just too scared to let them completely in. but its really not that complicated, all i have to do is properly stick to them and annoy them and be shameless (which tbh i should have been doing a long time ago already, i am just insecure about my worth as a companion and friend). anyway, I'm gonna start doing it, i dont care cuz nickhil has been asking for us to go out for lunch for ages and i realize even while calling i have so much fun. me and them, we truly work as best friends. all in all I'm excited to be a proper best friend, I'm starting right now.

[hotwaterandmilk]

I don’t tend to post personal details on here as they’re not relevant to me sharing scans, but I’m going to be 100% honest for a moment. I’m somewhat disillusioned with this hobby. Not in a “please compliment me” way but in an “I’m tired” way.

My posts all take hours of work each. There’s scanning and editing, of course, but I also have to despine things like magazines which can ultimately never be restored to their original form after I’m done. I do all of this using my own time and money, which I’m usually happy to do because I care about preserving this content so damn much.

However, my health is poor and I’m losing a lot of the functionality in my legs while also straining things like my hands and I’m feeling physically and emotionally drained as a result. I just wonder why I invest so much of myself in posting this content when I could just post an unedited manga cap and get 10 x the interest yknow? That’s not something anyone else can answer, that’s definitely a question for me, but it is really weighing on me at the moment.

Being sick/disabled is expensive and time-consuming, given how limited my time, energy and money is thanks to my health I just wonder if any of this is worth it in the end. Again, a question I’m really posing to myself out loud because I genuinely don’t know the answer.

It’s not like I post like someone trying to make a living off YT or TT, I make nothing from this hobby. So, ultimately engagement isn’t all that important but when it takes up so much of me I just wonder where I should draw the line.

[backhurtyy]

i know you don’t like. need to create anything to be a part of fandom but i’ve been feeling so frustrated with myself lately for not doing so?? like i have a couple big projects in the works that are taking up my attention so that’s why, but i’m still like. i wanna create. i wanna post stuff. i wanna contribute to fandom. i just can’t.

[bratz-kitten]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS [part 5]

— people with jupiter in the 8th may experience an “abundance” of traumatic experiences throughout life, often relating to death; these are the people who truly feel like everyone they love ends up dying. at their worst, they can become desensitized to death— jupiter is ruled by sagittarius, a sign known for being in denial when in difficult situations in favor of optimism. these natives can pretend like nothing actually happened, or minimize the situation in their head so that they don’t have to face it.

— okay this might be a weird one... like, you know in asoiaf when arya was walking through the streets and was always like “i’m as quiet as a shadow”? that’s literally the energy of someone with planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house. these people are so stealthy. they’re able to move so quietly and without anyone noticing, both literally and figuratively. on one hand, they’re very quiet about their plans and ambitions to the point where other people only find out when they’re achieving success over it; on the other hand, they just. don’t like making noise while walking idk bitch you’ll only see me coming when i’m right beside you, i even get paranoid that i’m breathing too loud and that other people will hear 

— people with moon aspecting mars can be incredibly impulsive when they feel hurt or triggered. yall need to be careful with doing things in the heat of the moment that you know you’ll regret later... but in the moment, you feel so hurt that it clouds your rational side. please be more self-aware about this because you may make decisions that will directly affect you for the worse in the future 

— people with leo mars ft. constantly asking you for pictures... about anything. they just wanna SEE LMFAO THEY DON’T CARE WHAT IT IS THEY’RE SEEING. you just got ready to go out? “send pics of your makeup and your full outfit”. you’re waiting in a long boring line to get the covid vaccine? “send pics of the line”. your mom baked cake? “send pics of the cake”. plus they send so many random pictures while texting, it’s their special love language

— having moon conjunct moon/venus in synastry feels insane. you tell them something you’ve been through, and they’re immediately like “that happened with me as well.” it doesn’t even have to be something grand, sometimes just very specific things you thought were particular about you. the amount of understanding that comes with this aspect in synastry can feel very new and intense especially if you’re used to seeing yourself as the “odd one out”, used to feeling isolated in your experiences 

— people with pluto in the 1st house often feel the need to erase “traces” of their existence, for example deleting messages that they sent people, deleting all of their social media posts. they can feel anxious and paranoid about other people having access to their past self, even if the past self in question is from, like. a week ago 

— people with chiron in the water houses (4th/8th/12th) might’ve suffered bullying to the point where they repress their memories. a lot of their memories of their school years may feel foggy if they were bullied in those years

— also. people with chiron in the 8th house may feel as though they’ve been punished for wanting to experience intimacy. it’s like, the people who were supposed to be the closest to them – for example, their sibling or something – were the ones who hurt them the most. 

— people with mercury-neptune aspects and strong pisces/neptune energy in their birth chart might struggle with only remembering things when they’re right in front of them. you should keep things in your peripheral vision to remind you of reality, especially when it comes to feelings— so that you won’t start getting lost inside your own head. like... keep the letters your friends wrote you by your bedside table so you can read them every time your brain starts convincing you that you’re not loved. keep the gifts you’ve been sent on display in your bedroom wall, or sentimental material things that remind you of past happy experiences.

— earth placements and their thing for asmr... omfg. it’s like they’re always looking for things to up their sensory experience/sensitivity. like, earth signs are the ones most connected to worldly experiences so they feel so soothed with the whole asmr experience: just hearing someone gently whispering or tapping on/scratching things calms them down and helps them fall asleep. they love the tingles it’s heaven for them

— moon-saturn aspects might hold and caress themselves while they sleep because their parents never did. yes i woke up and chose violence <3 your secret is NOT safe with me 💋

— while we’re on the topic of sleeping, a majority of the pisces moons i know need to sleep while hugging something, at least a pillow. they can’t just not hug something while they sleep, it’s very instinctive for them. anyways if any pisces moon needs a pillow to hold, i volunteer as tribute 💋

— virgo placements feel sososo soothed by hearing their cats purr. thinking about how my virgo placement friends are always the ones who send me videos of them petting their cats... and then i get soothed by how soothed they feel. it’s a win win situation, if you have virgo placements it’s hereby your duty to send me a video of you petting your cat while they purr. right now. GO

— people with gemini in the 3rd house might have shaky movements of the hands when other people look at them doing things. very specific i know but the third house rules hands and gemini is a sign that has somewhat of an anxious, twitchy quality to it. on the other hand, people with capricorn in the 3rd house (scorpio risings, using whole signs) have the steadiest hands i’ve ever seen lol their movements ooze confidence, these bitches know how to make you feel as thought they know exactly what they’re doing

— people with venus in the 1st house ft. altering their pics with photoshop and hating posting selfies without filters because they never feel like their appearance is good enough. stop it. you don’t need to always look your best and especially not if your ‘best’ isn’t even what you actually look like. also... don’t even think about making self-deprecative jokes about your appearance. next time i find one of yall saying “ahaha im not bad for a 5 without talent” i’m squishing your head between 2 pieces of toast and calling you an idiot sandwich. you’re BEAUTIFUL 

— having venus in the 3rd house in composite with someone? do you mean calling each other the absolute ugliest nicknames in the most endearing way? 

— leo deals with themes of the ego, and it seems that leo placements often struggle with attracting narcissistic people into their life... leo suns/mercuries can be raised by loud, overbearing, narcissistic parents who see their kid as an extension of themselves and who teach the kid to always be very supportive and caring towards them or else they’ll deny them of words of affirmation-- either by insulting them to shatter their self-esteem or simply never complimenting the kid back. leo moons/mars/venus tend to attract narcissistic partners who only care about serving their own emotional needs and ignore the ones of their partner, and who feed off of their supportive and giving nature. which is why leo placements really need to watch out for being gullible, naïve and dismissing the red flags because my god, you be falling for some shady people. 

— people with personal planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house might feel like they can’t let go of their past life— they may dream of memories, people or places from another life. it’s like they can’t detach from it, and even if they can’t directly remember their past life, it’s like they feel it in their bones. also, they might’ve felt... estranged from their family ever since childhood; there may have been feelings of being unable to emotionally connect to their (often, distant) parents, and they might’ve even wondered if they were adopted because of how different they felt to the rest of the family. 

— okay so, a thing that people with saturn in the 3rd house need to look out for is mentally checking out of conversations while they’re still happening. these people can detect when they’re being manipulated really fast and their way of dealing with it can be to immediately shut down, to grow cold and silent and not even bother answering when you’re expected to respond. and, like, that’s great when someone starts screaming at you or being insulting/trying to coerce you into shit, but take notice if you find yourself shutting your loved ones out as soon as they say anything that triggers you. don’t simply detach from them, communicate what’s wrong

— aries placements, ESPECIALLY aries suns and moons, value generosity so much and they get so turned off by stingy ppl who don’t share with others, especially when others need it. like.. if you’re hanging out in a group with them and someone asks for a bite of your food because they have no money and you say no... espect them to never respect you. ever. 

— people with libra placements use soooo many adjectives to describe things. something can’t just be beautiful, it has to be DIVINE and CELESTIAL and INTOXICATING. they can be so expressive god it’s so fcking funny 

— capricorn placements HATE asking others for advice because they think no one knows better than them (and they’re not wrong, lol). when they truly care for someone, they might ask the person for advice simply as a sign that they respect, trust and value their judgement. even if they don’t plan on taking it LMFAO 

— people with mars in a water sign can have this terrible habit of expecting other people to guess what they want. and then they get passive agressive when you don’t instinctively feel what it is they want... and when you ask them “do you want this?”, they go like “FINALLY. i thought you’d never get there”. stop it. i know that you want people to understand you in a way that transcends words, but you can’t expect people to read your mind and then get disappointed when they don’t, thinking “oh if they loved me that much then they would’ve known that i really want chipotle for dinner :(” GIRL WHAT. COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS  

[amelia]

related to that last ask but now i actually have a question! what are your favourite episodes for amy as a character? (sorry if i’m pestering you btw you don’t have to answer right away ❣️)

it is absolutely never a bother for me to talk about amy pond!! gosh though this is a Question. okay. i did interpret this as episodes that are my favorite for the lens of My Understanding Of Amy instead of favorite pond era episodes as a whole if that makes sense? under the cut bc i got long as i tend to do

i think my number 1 has to be the big bang, because it really is just like. okay, pond era absolutely runs into the problem of frequently making stories/episodes that should be centered around amy's emotional journey actually about somebody else — but the big bang is all hers. it is all on her! she's leading the show SHE'S the one in the pandorica SHE'S the one who remembers the doctor into existence it is HER choice to say goodbye to leadworth and continue to travel completely without remorse SHE IS THE HERO. it goes from "time can be rewritten, he'll find a way" to AMY being the one who finds the way. rory and river and the doctor all of course get their Moments but it's unquestionably amy's spotlight moment the whole way through

i have also ALWAYSSS been obsessed with starless universe amelia and the way that she still believes in stars in a world where they DON'T EXIST the power of her mind and the conviction of her beliefs is a CORE TENET of amy's character, the doctor has NOTHING to do with it!!! it's just who she is !!! best character of all time <3

other things about the amy's writing in this episode i love: the line "the universe pouring into her dreams every night," space florida outfit <3, ok i obviously do not love this but i think so much about amy talking about the doctor at her wedding and her mother is still like "NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN… i thought the psychiatrists FIXED her" like once again !!! a UNIVERSAL CONSTANT that amy is the one who believes in things nobody else does and is LOUD about it and is RIGHT !!! (let's kill hitler tried to retcon this but it simply won't work on me ❤️ just like anything else about the let's kill hitler flashbacks ❤️❤️❤️), OKAY DOCTOR DID I SURPRISE YOU THIS TIME? <3

number 2, i think, is the eleventh hour itself? like it's just… i've rewatched it so many times and it's still the most captivating character introduction i have ever seen. i know i'm biased but i love it so much. her introduction as a clearly neglected seven year old girl (constantly think about the deleted line that has her talking to aunt sharon and saying "you're not supposed to leave me, i'm seven!" WOOF) who's not afraid of anything except for the crack in her wall… she has drawings up all over her house of burning houses, she draws smiley faces into her apples bc her mom used to do that, she can cook for herself way better than i could at seven, and she desperately just wants to leave. but when the doctor tells her he'll be back in five minutes, amy is already so used to adults leaving her and breaking their promises that she doesn't believe him. but he makes her believe anyway. and he doesn't come back.

and all of the rest of her character hinges on that introduction — of course she has to believe him, he was REAL, nobody can take his realness away from her even if she is the only one who believes. but he also left her all alone for so long, just like everyone else who was supposed to be there for her did, so what good does that to her? so yeah of course she grows up angry and bitter and hiding those layers of hurt deeply under the surface, scorning all attachment and serious relationships because she knows she can't trust them. she outwardly distances herself from her childhood self by changing her name but she IS still just such a child inside.

she's not ready to settle, to grow up, to become what everyone in her tiny village wants her to be, thinks that she should be — so when she gets the chance to GO, of course she takes it. but she's also not just going to let the doctor off the hook for [gestures] her entire life, you know? the exchanges "people always say that" "i'm not people, do i even look like people?" | "people always have a reason" "do i look like people?" "Yes." always just GUT ME. she may trust him but it's NOT a blind trust, it can't be.

number 3 has to be the beast below it just makes me SCREAM how good that episode is at really developing amy through her compassion for other people — right from the start she sees that kid crying and she thinks the doctor must ignore stuff like this all the time, and she says that she could never do that. she's learning and intuiting leaps and bounds about the doctor with everything he says to her — which is another one of my favorite amy character traits, the way she is SO quick to pick up on things about other people and analyze them. everything that she picks up about the doctor allows her to KNOW what to do to save the star whale, allows her to be confident in the fact that the star whale wanted to help the whole time. the choice is IN HER HANDS she IS THE HERO <3 as she always should be. you couldn't just stand there and watch people cry! all that pain and misery and loneliness and it MADE IT KIND. i don't care how overused that quote is it still HITS !!!

um. number 4 is the girl who waited but my very specific headcanon-ridden interpretation and cutting out all that garbage "rory's the most beautiful man i've ever met" "defying destiny causality the nexus of time itself for a boy" bullshit. idk there's so many terrible things about this episode but it also gave me so much to think about when it comes to amy it's on my mind a LOT. one thing i think about is the way it parallels amy's first abandonment by the doctor — not just in the obvious sense but in the way that she's actively fighting for her life in a hostile atmosphere, but nobody else SEES it as a hostile atmosphere. the two streams facility is leadworth like it really is. and what adds a more chilling component is the way the handbots signature line is "do not be alarmed, this is a kindness" — like all the people who were trying to convince amy she was crazy throughout her entire childhood really thought they were doing her a kindness. they thought they were helping her. but they were killing her. because she wasn't made for that environment.

beyond that i am just obsessed with 36-years-later amy she is an icon she is a legend she is the moment i don't care! every mean thing she said about the doctor and rory was absolutely deserved and in fact she should have been so much meaner! she is SO SMART she makes her own SONIC PROBES OUT OF CAMERA PHONES the fact that she even was able to SURVIVE THAT LONG and in COMPLETE isolation and still retain her own mental faculties is just insane to me it speaks so much about her insane mental strength oh my god it makes me sooo emotional i am tearing up a little typing this right now.

i just am always THINKING about the line "there he is, the voice of god. number one lesson: survive, because no one's coming for you. you taught me that" it says SO MUCH about her. oh my god older amy didn't want to die she'll be kicking and screaming and fighting til the end… i fucking hate this show and picking and choosing when paradoxes should apply OLDER AMY DESERVED TO LIVE

number 5 is probably the power of three but my own very headcanon infused interpretation of it. because it's like. the ultimate miscommunication/misunderstanding that exists between amy and the doctor coming to a head. where amy in 7.02 is like "i can't not wait for you, even now. (…) we think you're weaning us off you" (that line always makes me slow exhale … the phrasing of the doctor as a drug) and the doctor keeps insisting that's not true, "you'll be there until the end of me" "or vice versa" (and they have that loaded held stare and you know they're both thinking about what he said to her before he left in the god complex…)

but it's not until this episode where amy starts to actually believe he means it. at the same time she's spent so much TIME preparing for the inevitable moment where the doctor says goodbye and doesn't say hello ever again that she's not willing to fully hope that the doctor really means it when he says that he would never leave her permanently on purpose. and i love that this episode gives amy a lot of space to verbally communicate her emotions because the later pond episodes SORELY LACK THAT. and amy tells him, don't be nice to me, don't stop coming around just because you think that's the kind thing to do. even though she says herself that she doesn't know if she can have "both" — she knows that she can tell the doctor to stay, in her own way, and that he'll listen.

ideally they would have just gone off traveling together forever after that and the angels take manhattan did not happen but unlike what the doctor says about amy, i don't ever get what i want 🙃

also, this episode gave amy friends that weren't rory or the doctor or river so i love it for that on principal <3 i know amy had fun being the bridesmaid at laura's lesbian wedding. and kate!!

( i do hate that this episode ends with that conversation between brian and the doctor. i hate brian as a character and i will forever. won't get into this right now but OUGH )

honestly this list is kind of wobbly and might change if you asked me in a month so i'll just rattle off other favorite episodes / moments real quickly: the good night minisode (it counts!), RIVER SONG DIDN'T GET IT ALL FROM YOU SWEETIE (timeline frozen amy my beloved!), "i remember it so it happened so i did it," vincent and the doctor specifically when vincent tells amy that he hears the song of her sadness…. ow, i could write a whole other essay about amy's choice and how it is so much more complex than people give it credit for but this post is already so goddamn long

[katierosefun]

so after one really big latte, a muffin, a run which resulted in a near accident with an oncoming car, and a shower in which i contemplated my own mortality, here’s my thoughts on the adorable me & au podcast, because babe wake up new hyperfixation dropped. very spoiler-y, i’m sorry in advance for how f*cking long this is, this might only have like two people reading this but i have many thoughts please listen to this podcast because it’s so cute and i listened to it all in about 2.5 hours? 

- firstly: the main character is super relatable. like, scary relatable. meet kate “acunningplan” cunningham, a gal about to enter her senior year of college and just kinda,,,lost. she works as a barista and very confused, very...stuck gal by day, fic writer (and still very stuck gal) by.........not barista hours. 

- honestly, i love kate. idk i’m about to enter my senior year of college, and bro i related so hard to her fears of “bro i can’t even think about next week without feeling overwhelmed”. she misses her best friend whitney a lot, who is currently on the other side of the country for an impressive internship. so that can be kinda lonely. 

- but fear not, kate has an escape, like so many other fic writers/fandom people: fanfic. this whole story references tumblr without actually naming tumblr (let’s be real....it’s tumblr, from the “notes” to “this stupid app keeps crashing”), and kate follows this tv show about werewolves and supernatural creatures. very gay. only problem is that there’s not a whole ton of people active in the fandom, since this show is relatively new. 

- however, in this small fandom, kate meets ella: otherwise known as “hella-enchanted”, who is another fic writer. 

- kate is very obsessed with the idea of alternate universes, and for that alone, i love her.

- okay, so even if you’ve never fallen in love with a person online/in fandom circles, i just wanna say that ella and kate’s interactions are still so super relatable. the shooting messages, the starting random conversations and getting a little thrill when you see someone liking your personal post or whatever. it’s very wholesome. 

- also, at the end of episode 1, kate goes on about how “yeah, fanfic is kinda odd, but it led me...to you” and it was so soft and gentle you just know your heart is gonna melt huh 

- at one point, kate decides to be vulnerable via vent post about something that came up on the show (and oh god yeah i feel...things. kate relates very hard to one character in the tv show she’s following, and tbh,,,yeah. i can’t quite word it right now, but i think anyone who feels kinda.....stuck? would relate.) 

- the “EXACTLY ONE PERSON ASKED FOR THIS ESSAY SO HERE IT IS” please

- also oh :’)))) kate talks about ella’s playlists and when i tell you i squeaked a little bit because oh hey--

- anyways lol yes can you relate to like,,,posting a vent post and forgetting to delete it and being mildly horrified (but also mildly touched) when someone actually responds?

- ella’s very sweet, just responds with “seems like one of my favorite fandom people needed a pick-me-up” and :’))) i would die for ella! (i mean, i would die for all the characters) 

- okay yes also all the bits where ella and kate scream at each other about fic. very relatable, very real, you can tell that the writers of this podcast really knew this feeling, and i just :’)))

- THE TWO DEBATE OVER TITLES,,,,,kate keeps sending in crack-y titles and also song lyrics, and ella comments on “well,,,i just read this whole wikipedia page, so i think i’ve lost the high ground”, so if y’all KNOW i started laughing at that 

- also LMAOOOO the moment when conversation diverts from fic and fandom to slightly more personal things! kate being like “oh,,,,,you have an actual job! like,,,you’re an actual adult and.....how’s that?” and then quickly rambling on via message “actually let me change the topic because that’s probably too personal”...

- okay so there’s this bit where ella drops the fact that she’s never read anne of green gables because “listen,,,,you have an ex-girlfriend who sang the anne of green gables musical all the time--” and kate’s “.......ex-girlfriend? you had an ex-girlfriend? girl--” (and BACKSPACING ALL OF THAT because “god i’m such a freak”) 

- much gay disaster

- so much gay disaster

- opportunity for kate and ella to meet irl comes up! at a fan convention! in toronto! (and kate lives in bc). kate’s best friend (remember, internship one?) invited kate over to toronto for this thing anyways, and then ella posts something about “heeeey i’m gonna be in the area so if anyone wants to meet up for the fan convention...” 

- let me just say......kate chucking her phone across the room because she freaked out about that. again. very cool, very nicely done, very relatable, etc. 

- ALSO,,,,i forget if this was one of kate or ella’s fics or if it was the actual tv show, but there’s this tidbit where the characters in the literal fandom has this conversation: 

“don’t waste your time.” 

“what?” 

“don’t waste your time on me.” 

and the way that reflects kate’s feelings-but-she’s-not-trying-to-think-about-it for ella please let me just die here

- okay, so kate does decide to message ella about the meet-up, and let me just tell you, kate’s inner monologue about the worst possibilities for ella’s responses: 

“1. no response. which is terrible. 

2. you find out you’re not wanted after all. :(((((

3. the most terrifying response of all.......” (an enthusiastic “yes i’m so glad we can meet up!!!”) 

- well, of course ella responds with #3. 

- gay disaster kate not knowing how to acknowledge her feelings for ella...she goes on this “you don’t wanna come across as....y’know because if they suspect that....y’know.....and like, i don’t....y’know--” oh my god kate 

- anyways, kate works at a coffeeshop, right? and her co-worker stewart (nonbinary pansexual co-worker! we love to see the rep!!) being like “oh yeah maybe you can bring over your friend!” and kate panicking because “ohhhhh i’m not too sure about that,,,,she’s,,,,,,,,,busy......” (ie. the awkward moment of having to explain that,,,,,,your online friend isn’t exactly someone you’ve met in real life,,,,,,,,and not sure exactly how to explain that so you just,,,,,,“ohhhh uhhh......y’know...............it’s really hard to.......get her out of.....work.....” 

- kate and ella video-chatting for the first time is very cute, very gay. very gay. 

- they swap “how’d you know you were gay / liked girls” stories :’))) 

- “that’s a cute story!” “you’re a cute story” [awkward silence] “please let me hide under the desk now” (have i mentioned that kate’s  a disaster? i love her, but you’re a disaster. we need to be best friends.)

- kate.....describing herself as “irl fanfic disaster waiting to happen” and the whole “i didn’t know we were actually dating until she asked if she could kiss me” lmaoooooooooo (but okay yes this is also a mood? like,,,,,,idk something about heteronormative standards so like,,,,,it’s so stupidly hard to figure out if a girl is flirting with you or if they’re just being nice i am glad kate’s such a disaster) 

- in other news: kate’s “how tf do i write a kiss scene i don’t like the word lips ughhhhHHHHH” (yeah, mood kate) 

- lmao stewart (kate’s co-worker!) just chilling with kate and being like “oh yeah i figured you had a girlfriend? the one you’re talking about? ella?” and kate blanking because “wait you thought ella was my girlfriend? she’s not....uhhh....” and then later drinking with stewart and rambling about ella and panicking because “what if she realizes i can’t talk about anything except this tv show what if she thinks i laugh too loud what if i have horrific body odor what if she realizes i have NOTHING to say what if our meeting goes SO terribly that i need to deactivate and change my name just so i could like her posts at 3 am” and then her small “please forget i said any of that” 

- oh kate :(((( 

- kate :((((((

- k a t e :(((((((((((((((((((

- anyways, kate does go to toronto. 

- meets ella. 

- very cute. 

- ella...........very gay. they go into a coffeeshop and kate doesn’t know what to do. 

- okay but what’s hilarious is that ella,,,,,seems so cool and suave and i too would be kind of intimidated by her but then these two idiots really talk about writing kissing scenes and the build-up and ella’s voice gets all,,,,,,suggestive and there’s this.....awkward gay silence between the two oh my GOD they’re both IDIOTS 

- also okay yes kate and whitney, a irl friend, having a heart-to-heart. good. we love that. also, whitney being like “I MISSED YOU!!! YOU IDIOT!!!! and i’m glad you have a new friend, and you’re happy, but I MISSED YOU!!! I HATE THIS CITY AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!!!” (whitney is also very relatable. ily whitney.) 

- they’re so cute. they hug, and it’s sweet :’)) also, then kate says in a stupidly small voice “i think i’m....kinda in love with [ella]?” and whitney being best supportive friend-- 

- OKAY so we finally get an episode of ella’s perspective 

- listen, you’re gonna think ella’s this cool, suave person who has all her own gayness put together (i mean, she kinda knew since she was 9 or 10 years old? she’s had a girlfriend? she seems like she has her life together? she’s waiting to get into grad school? she has a job? she just seems....cool and knows what she’s doing). 

- but then you realize. ella is just as much a pining mess. (her bullet point list/schedule in her head is so relatable. as someone who uses her notes and reminders app religiously, that was just :’))) 

- ella: reasons why this is not a date. and then....kate sends a message. (ella: reason why this....might be a date....kate keeps saying stuff like...that.) 

- kate rehearsing how to tell ella that she maybe kinda likes her? very cute. (”you know the feeling in your chest when....uh, you know when you feel like you have a frog in your stomach--oh god not the frog NOT the frog”) 

- the love confession is very cute, and also very relatable. “i like you a lot” “i like you too!” “no i mean,,,,like i like you. wait. which like do you mean? wait that’s not english. uh. what did you say?” 

- kate’s “I HAD A WHOLE DRAMATIC FANFIC CONFESSION PLANNED OUT” 

- kate and ella just spilling everything made me :’))) 

- “i like how your brain works” “i made so many posts hoping that you would just talk to me” “you always make me laugh” “you just make me feel...better” “you make me smile” 

- “this whole summer you’ve been making me smile and i guess it kind of freaked me out? ...i don’t know where my life is going but if i have a choice, i want to go in any direction you’re going because you are cute and smart and amazing and i like you a lot, ella. like that. so yeah. that’s what i was thinking i’d say.” 

- i essentially explaine dthe whole plot but 

- i love this podcast a lot

- it was very sweet

- and very cute

- very wlw 

- i don’t even mind that i almost got hit by a car while i was running and listening to this it was worth it 

- idk. just like. anyone who’s ever read or written fic or just like...not necessarily fallen in love with another person? but at least relating to that feeling of “oh god i am not qualified to talk to this person” and “oh god what if they realize i’m actually,,,,a loser” and “oh god wait how to friend” can probably hit a lot of people

- but that said. the romance was very cute, very sweet, makes me :’))) 

- okay i’ll stop talking now but i just. it’s very cute, very relatable, i wish we had a season 2 but i think it’s a limited series. (but they’re living rent free in my head! forever!)

[baegarrick]

idk if you've read/seen the book/movie but just... love, simon zukka au ?? sokka as simon and zuko as bram because blue spirit ( though if we r going for it personality-wise maybe switch their roles? idk ! ) — also in this one the friends are exponentially better

ok im so sorry I haven’t actually seen love, simon or read the book but.... I HAVE ACCESS TO WIKIPEDIA SO LETS GO

ok so I was considering Zuko as Simon bc of the musical thing/the loving parent (Iroh), the girl he sees Sokka (Bram) kiss is Suki.... but also bc I just love writing Zuko (maybe I’ll parse that out at the end)

BUT lets go with Sokka as Simon bc I also love writing the Gaang

Sokka is Simon

Katara is both Nora and Abby

Jet is Martin

Aang is Nick (but slightly also Abby)

Zuko is blue/Bram

Suki is Leah (but slightly also Nick)

Toph is Ethan (sorta)

Haru is Lyle

Ok so, obv this follows the plot of the movie/book. Sokka is a gay + closeted junior, not that his dad isn’t loving, but he’s in the military, and occasionally makes homophobic jokes, and Sokka feels like he has to be tough for him, esp. since his mom died. But he really likes making people laugh and so he joins the school musical, which is a comedy this year.

His best friend is Suki, who he’s known since he was a kid, but he’s kinda been withdrawing from her since he got to high school. He loves her, he really does, but everyone always thinks they’re dating, and it kinda makes him uncomfortable. He tried to like her, when they were younger, but he just... isn’t into girls. His friend group is Suki, Katara (his sister, and it was the two of them against the world since their mom died, but he’s pulled away from her too), Aang (a transfer freshman from out of state), and Toph (who spent up till 8th grade at a private school).

Also in the musical is Zuko, a hot senior who’s like.... super lofty. He gets really into theater, but he rarely interacts with people outside his friend group, like he’s better than them or something. (Mai and Ty Lee are also there, they’re Zuko’s friends.) Not in the musical, but in one of the other clubs Sokka is in, is Jet. He got kicked off the football team for being too rough with the other team last year, so he mostly just hangs out behind the bleachers smoking.

Sokka’s on the school’s tumblr one day (shut up, Katara, I don’t have a tumblr!!) when he sees someone posted an anonymous confession saying they’re gay but they really don’t have anyone they can talk to because of their family situation. Sokka gets their email (BlueSpirit) and start emailing (BoomerangDude) them for a couple of months. He learns that Blue’s family has really high expectations of him, and since he’s only a year away from college he can’t mess them up because if he does he’ll be cut off, and he can’t afford college if that happens. He’s got a sadistic little sister (who isn’t actually terrible, she’s just got her own shit going on, and if shoving Zuko in the warpath of their father takes the spotlight off of her, all the better) who would absolutely out him if she knew, a girl he’s pretty sure wants to date him (Mai), and an after-school job (the tea shop) thats cutting into his extra-curricular activities.

This is.... really similar to Sokka, actually, and he likes making Blue laugh (they switch to chatting online sometimes, like discord or some chat app), and Blue has a lot of insights on things Sokka likes (some of the same music,

Meanwhile, Sokka ends up going to this tea shop he heard about from Blue (it had been a slip, Zuko had NOT meant to say too many personal details, but he’d mentioned getting some kind of boba drink) and studying there with his friends. While he’s there, he’s surprised to see Zuko, who he’s never spoken to outside of the musical they’re working on!! (At some point, Zuko checks his phone and laughs, and Sokka’s like, oh no, I’m crushing on.... TWO DUDES???? BAD SOKKA). He starts to wonder if maybe.... Zuko is Blue?? it generally sorta fits, he knows Zuko is also a senior, and the tea shop Blue mentioned.... (to be fair, though, they see like three other kids from school there, so it’s not really a niche place)

Before Sokka can test out this theory, though, there’s a Halloween party which Sokka goes to with his friends. (They go as the Power Rangers.) He sees Zuko there (he’s in some some Kabuki costume), but with him is.... Mai from the play. They’re making out, and Sokka feels his stomach drop-- he’s not gay and Sokka’s crushing on a straight guy. He gets drunk. He throws up in the bushes outside, and Katara finds him, chews him out, and then sneaks him back home.

He emails Blue again, drunk, and says some stupid stuff like he wishes things were easier, and that he thought he knew who Blue was, but he didn’t. (Blue doesn’t reply.)

He’s checking his email on a school computer in the library when the bell rings, and he doesn’t log out properly, and Jet, who is skipping class, finds Sokka’s emails. He confronts Sokka about them, and says he won’t reveal Sokka’s secret... if Sokka helps Jet get with Sokka’s hot sister. Sokka hates the idea, but also, the idea of being outed is really terrifying. So he says yes, and tries to talk up Jet to Katara, who’s a little surprised bc while she thinks Jet is hot, Sokka was super against Jet whenever she mentioned it. Katara is involved in school politics, and convinces Jet to pretend to be interested to spend time with her. (he ends up running against her...)

Around Thanksgiving, with all their extended family there, ribbing him about getting a girlfriend (asking about Suki), Sokka leaves and goes to sit on the roof. Katara finds him there, and demands he spill whats up and why he’s acting so weird, especially about Suki. (she looks freaked out for a moment, and is like.... oh my god, sokka, is suki pregnant?????? sokka blanches at that) He admits he’s gay, and she hugs him, and they stay out there until their dad sticks his head out the window and calls them inside.

Feeling guilty about Jet, Sokka admits to Blue their emails might have been compromised. Blue starts to back away, taking longer and longer to answer emails.

At a football game, Sokka runs into Haru, who starts asking him stuff, and Sokka wonders if he’s Blue, but it turns out Haru is interested in Katara. Upset, again, that he doesn’t know who Blue is, he encourages Jet to “go big or go home”-- and so Jet asks Katara out by bribing the kid who does the scoreboard to switch out his campaign ad for asking Katara out. Katara is shocked, as she thought Jet was really interested in her campaign. She slaps him.

Mad that Katara wasn’t interested after all, and from the slap, Jet outs Sokka anyway, posting the emails on the school’s gossip site. Katara, who was mad at Sokka, instantly forgives him and is on a WARPATH against Jet, but Sokka just wants it left alone. Suki shows up a few hours later, and finds him on the roof. She admits that she had a crush on him, which was why she never said anything when people asked if they were a couple, but she knew Sokka wasn’t interested in her, so she never pushed it. She’s sorry she made it difficult for him to come out to her.

Blue is upset their emails have leaked, and deletes his account.

He comes out to his dad later, in the car, on the way to school on the last couple of days before winter break. His dad takes it well, and apologizes for all of the jokes he used to make-- it doesn’t make it right, but it was the kind of things he and the other soldiers used to say to each other. He ends up taking them to this tea shop he heard about (it’s Zuko’s/Iroh’s shop), and while there, he comes out to the owner of the shop, Iroh, as sort of..... practice. It’s liberating and also terrifying. Iroh is super cool about it, and tells them about his own son, who passed away a few years ago in an accident, was gay. It’s way later than Sokka thought, and when he looks up from the conversation with Iroh, Zuko’s standing in the doorway. not wanting to deal with people from school, Sokka leaves the tea shop without waiting for his dad to follow him.

The next couple of days at school are rough. His friends stick by his side, but Jet’s friends are obnoxious and loud, and Katara punches one of them. She goes to the school, but they’re eternally unhelpful bc.... what can tey do... its not a school website..... Later, Toph tells Sokka she’s a lesbian, and it’s not that she’s hiding it, but... it’s already tough enough when people treat her like she’s glass because she’s blind. They all go home for winter break, and when they come back, Sokka is refreshed and determined not to be put down by a couple of assholes.

He’s wildly surprised when Blue posts on the school’s tumblr that he wants to meet Sokka at the school’s carnival. This draws a crowd, which makes Sokka worried he’s gonna be pranked, but when he sits down on the Ferris wheel, he’s surprised that Zuko from the tea shop/musical sits down next to him.

Zuko says he’s sorry for ignoring Sokka’s emails, and he’s sorry that Sokka got outed to the school, and it wasn’t his fault that Sokka was blackmailed, and he should have reacted better to it. Sokka apologizes too, because Zuko shouldn’t have to be outed either, which... is why they’re here? Zuko blushes, and says he came out to his uncle, who’s letting him stay with him, since he’s tired of going home to his shitty dad, and that he might go live with his mom while he’s in college. He admits the Mai thing at the party was a drunken misunderstanding, and that he likes Sokka. He thinks he’s funny, and they like the same things (theater, music, strange taste in food...), and he’s hoping after this... Sokka might like him too? (they kiss on the Ferris wheel, and Katara takes like, 30 pictures.)

....

alternatively////

Zuko as Simon au-- bc I just wanted to write it out. he lives with his uncle, who’s the loving parent here, not Ozai!! (or his Mom/stepdad but I kinda forgot they existed for like 5 minutes)

Zuko is Simon

Katara is Abby (she’s his lab partner, and they have the same temperment)

Azula is Nora, but she doesn’t really play a big role (she’s an asshole, but also she’s 14 and is Going Through Things. she’s also in the closet and in love with Mai, but she doesn’t know it yet. it takes her a couple of years to figure that out.)

Mai is Leah

Aang is Martin (but less of an asshole. just the embarrassing + frustrated bits.)

Sokka is blue/Bram

Suki is the girl at the party Sokka kisses

Ty Lee is Ethan

---

I HOPE THIS WAS OK, like I said I haven’t actually seen the thing, but now I actually know what the plot is about!! <3333

[midnighthyuck]

Beautiful | jungwoo!au

summary: you were working on a photoshoot with your university team, in the meanwhile, jungwoo has to dress up as a girl to help his sister. 

words: 2.600 (sorry bout that)

pairing: you & jungwoo

a/n: pretty sweet. also, sorry about any mistakes, english is not my native language. it’s not that good idk? but it would be a shame deleting it all without giving a try. promise next time will be better.

requests are open!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two hours. That was the amount of time you had already spent trying to convince your senior that purple lights wouldn’t look as good as blue ones. The scenario was all set up but the lights still annoyed you. He had been working with photoshoots before you, period. He had plenty of works highly well recognized by all teachers in photography faculty, period. Yet, purple didn’t feel right.  

Tired of hearing your annoying complains he decided to give it a try. It ended up with you being congratulated by your ‘unceasing persistence’ and happy with the finally blue studio. He was good, but you also were. Being on top of the class was the main reason you were the only sophomore in the wise room.  

Once done with the lighting discussion you decided to take a look on the models. It was not your first time on a shooting like that so you had plenty knowledge of how the girls get stressed and sensitive right before the show. Most of them you’d never seen before and was pretty much sure you wouldn’t be seeing again anytime soon, still you made sure to bring them some fruits and cool water. 

‘’You all look stunning! Definitely the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen’’ you genuinely smiled at them. That was your job, making them feel at ease, instead of freaking them out like Doyoung would be doing in a few minutes. 

He wasn’t a bad guy, but the amount of overwork he had been dealing with in the past few months may have helped him to become this ‘fast mood shifting’ weapon. Or you might just think it because you are two opposites. Doyoung doesn’t know how to behave when it comes about girls. Also don’t you when it comes about boys. 

“There’s one missing’’ Ten made himself noticeable, handing you the paperwork. 

“It’s fine, we still got a few minutes.’’ you tried to stay calm, although you knew Doyoung would be shouting at you once the shoot started and one of his ‘girls’ was missing. ‘’I’ll go grab some coffee for us. Make sure Doyoung doesn’t freak out.’’  

“I will try.’’ It’s all you get back when you’re already reaching the elevator.  

In the meanwhile, Jungwoo was in denial.  

“No.” was all he said. 

“No, you don’t get me.” Junghah, the older sister, insisted. “I need you to be there for me. The director will fucking kill me. Also, what if I never get a job like this again?” 

“You should be there, not me!” his voice still sounded awfully adorable, despite the loudness. 

“I know! Do you think I’m like this cause I want to? Huh?” Junghah’s voice made itself louder than expected thanks to the eco. She had been in the bathroom for the whole day long. It had been four hours already. “Even if I manage to get out of here, I don’t think I can stay away for too long, you understand?” 

Jungwoo was too good, even he suspected of it, but everything must have a limit. He thought about the uncountable number of times he’d helped his older sister until the very moment. Combing her hair when she broke her arm. Dumping her ex-boyfriend for her cause she wouldn’t be able to handle his crying face. Not to mention all the times he had lied to their mom in order to help her sneak out of the house to go out.  

He knew that dressing up as a girl and showing up in a photoshoot wasn’t the best decision at all.  “Pretty please.’’ and that was it. 

With that simple sentence she had him all over her shoes.  

Jungwoo was way too good. 

[…] 

“Hold on, please!” you let the air in your lungs come out as a demand, running to the metal door a few steps away from you while managing to keep both ice americanos in your hands inside its cups, instead of dripping all over the elevator’s floor. “Thank you.” you mumble once in, trying to fix the harsh first impression you’d just caused. 

A smile was the answer. An awkwardly cute smile coming from an around 5 feet tall girl. She was huge, that was no secret, even compared to the ones waiting for you at the studio, yet something about her felt just to adorable, despite her size. Her long hair fell just right over her shoulder’s, contouring her back with a few other strands over her cheekbones. She was definitely adorable and you couldn’t help but smile. 

“Excuse me, are you here for the shooting?”  

“Uh, yes!” not only the face was lovely, but also the voice.  

You tried to keep your reactions to yourself, but seeing her ears getting red just made you internally jump in joy. “I see. I’m also on it, I mean, not modeling as you can see. I’m in charge of light and photography.’’ you smiled once again when she opened her mouth impressed, getting even more red than before. “Is this your first time?” 

“...Is it that obvious?” and once again you found yourself whipped by that extremally cute face.  

“Nah, it’s just cause you have very sincere expressions. It’s not bad though.” The conversation could keep on some other time, because in the very next second you’d arrived in the 8th floor. 

You, politely, guide the girl to the makeup room and let her there so they could work out on how to make her look like the astonishing (you would call kinda fake looking) woman we see on magazines. 

[…] 

As you thought Doyoung couldn’t keep his frustrations to himself, but since you were there the models had someone to rely on. Specially the cute one. It was her first time so it took ages for her to feel comfortable enough to pose properly.  

You managed to make some good pics before noon arrived, so you’d just sit around and wait until your colleagues were also done. Going out for a few drinks was always one of the best parts of working on projects with them.  

While setting up a few things in your head and organizing some paper and equipment, you heard two of your senior laughing. ‘If they can chill, they can also help me get everything done’ your thought while frowning. Finally reaching both guys you could barely remember the names, you were able to hear was seemed to be so funny. 

“I don’t know how Doyoung let that thing be on the project. That’s definitely not a girl, dude.”  

“I mean, maybe if I was drunk, or blind” both them laugh annoyingly.  

“Well, if it is so cool making fun out of people, I guess you guys will die in laughter once you check up on yourselves in the mirror.” you claim entering the place. “Or it might be funnier if your just shut the fuck up and take care of the work you’re here to do.’’ 

“Yeah, but nobody told me this was a gay parade.” one insisted. 

You smile back. “I bet they told you it was a circus. That’s why you keep acting like a fucking clown.” 

Before it could get any worse (or better), all the models, now done with their hard work, entered the room laughing in delight once it was over. Except from the tall one, who came in leaving the bathroom right behind you. You frowned in pain. You just wished she didn’t hear all the bullshit those two said. 

“Thank you for that.” she told you once you both were the only ones left in the huge studio, since taking the elevator was a kind of process when there were around 14 people in there. And taking the stairs on 8th floor was not an option.  

The touch of your hand on hers makes she feels vulnerable, and once again she blushes. “Never mind those assholes. Men are fucking stupid. Are you coming with us for a drink?” 

“Uh, not really. I gotta go back to check on my sister.” 

“Oh, I see.” and when the elevator finally arrives to get you, you hear her sighing in relief. 

“You did well today. I bet we are gonna see each other again anytime. What’s your name anyways?” 

“Kim Jungwoo.” she answers back with a wide smile.  

“You’re name is as adorable as your face, you know it?” you can’t help but make your thoughts real by telling the truth. 

“Oh... Thank you. I don’t get this a lot.” 

“But you should. Honestly, you’re the cutest model I’ve ever bumped into. Feel lucky, cause I see plenty of gorgeous girls every once in a while. You’re extremally beautiful.” 

“Thank you.” you are amused by the laugh that comes from her. It was just too much of a cute sound. But before you could embarrass yourself in front of her again the door opens, revealing a groups of people waiting for you to follow them to the nearest bar.  

You just wave goodbye and wish Jungwoo luck.

[…] 

Later that night Jungwoo searched for you online. He wasn’t brave enough to send a request, though. He felt cheesy for being like that, just appreciating your face once again by a picture someone else took. But it was not all about looks. It was about you all. Something just felt warm inside him while watching a stupid video Jaehyun posted on your birthday.  

Was it the smile? Was it the cozy voice? He didn’t know for sure, but it made him feel even worse for not being fearless.  

He was a coward afterwards.  

[…] 

You couldn’t bare the pain in your neck anymore, even after trying to stretch or taking pain-killers. You decided to go home for the day, you wouldn’t be much productive editing the pictures with that annoying pinch keeping all your attention for itself.  

“Excuse me!” the sweet voice reached your ears when you were just about to leave the building.  

“Yes?” you frowned. That face was somehow familiar. 

“Uh- well... I was here last weekend on the photoshoot...’’ You still couldn’t link it. 

“Sorry, I don’t recall. Are you a staff member?”  

“Not exactly. Well, I was... one of the models.” Oh. It wasn’t hard to say why you weren’t able to recognize her (him? they?). 

They still were tall as hell, the baby face had pretty much the same features and naive expressions, but it all just felt so different. The person right in front of you now seemed like someone else. 

“I think I remember now.” you said trying to conceal your surprise. “How can I help?” 

There it was again. Ears turning red, just as the tip of the nose, confused face and shrunken shoulders. Just as adorable as you could remember. 

“I actually... Hm...” 

“The pictures aren’t ready yet, if that’s what you’re here for. It takes some time.” 

“No!” they answered louder than you expected, getting you surprised. “I... actually came to.. Uh, talk to you.” 

“Me?” you didn’t mean to sound as surprised as you actually did.  

“I’m so sorry! I swear I’m not a weirdo. I just didn’t have the chance to talk to you that much that day, and I was wondering if... Well, if y-you...” 

No. The answer was already set on your mind before you could even think about the painful pinch on your neck. But that was when you realized it wasn’t there anymore. You frown in confusion and run your fingers through the back of your head. Everything is just fine. 

“Ok.” you said before thinking well, interrupting the other while getting lost on their own words. “What about grabbing some coffee?” 

They were not a dog, but for a second you could swear you saw a wagging tail when they opened that bright smile right in front of your eyes. 

[…] 

So Kim Jungwoo was indeed a guy.  

The whole ‘’dressing’’ as girl thing had a story behind it, before you could get angry at him. No that you had a real reason for that, but as Ten would say “getting mad at boys is you favorite sports”. But even though, he was way different from all the other boys you had ever met.  

Adorable wasn’t the only word to describe him. He was... sweet (?) Like genuinely.  Not the kind of “am I cute?” sweet, the real sweetness. The one kids lose once they grow up. The one that makes us love animals because they’re just too pure for this world.  And you hated yourself for feeling so much at ease with a guy as you did with Jungwoo. 

You knew his intentions. Growing up with two older brothers and being friends with Johnny made you a kind of expert when it comes to know that guys are into you. Yet, you couldn’t help but smile at each sweet expression he’d let off whenever you said something that caught him out of guard.  

[…] 

Keeping in touch with Jungwoo was just natural.  

People tend to say they never really realize they fell in love, but you’d never forget that friday night, when he texted you a “I wanna see you soon.”.  

What is this? You thought to yourself, holding onto your phone tightly, staring at the ceiling wondering since when were you anticipating seeing Jungwoo that much. What exactly was that cozy warmness inside your chest. 

[…] 

“I like you.” Jungwoo closed his eyes when the words came out, becoming real. 

It had been a month since the first time you thought he was adorable. And now, right in front of that playground somewhere nearby your house, on that cold november noon, he was being adorable once again. 

He didn’t dare to take your hands. He knew you well to know how suspicious you were with skinship, what got you smiling. You moved one step forward, getting closer to the taller cute boy, taking one of his hands on yours. 

“I know.” 

“Since when?” he sighs deeply. You wish you were brave enough to check up his expression. I bet his ears are red, you thought.  

“Since day one.” you laugh when his lamentation moan reaches your ears, at the same time he decides to lay his head on your shoulder.  

“That’s so unfair.” he sighs once again, that’s when you feel the urge to pet his head. At the first touch he gets surprised, since touching wasn’t really something between the two of you. “I’m sorry.” 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” you smile, although you knew he couldn’t see it.  

Gathering all his strength, he takes a step back to face you. “And... What’s your answer?” 

You laugh. “You know I have a soft spot for you and there’s no way I’d say no when you’re looking at me like that.”. 

And when he pouts at you with that ridiculously adorable face you can’t help but hugging him. “You were special since the first second. Thank you for that.” 

He hugs you back and now you’re able to feel his heartbeat, which gets you a bit worried since it was way faster than people consider healthy. 

“I never cared when people gave me compliments. But that day, when you said I was beautiful, I felt you were looking through me. It was not about being a guy, being a girl, not even about being attractive. It was about... me. I’m the one to thank you.” 

You smile while petting his back. “You’re beautiful, Jungwoo.” 

And he was. 

Kim Jungwoo was the prettiest thing that had ever crossed your path. 

[millennial-ring]

Can we get more on the three P's? Pain, Pride, and Pure?

           17. PAIN

So this is actually the document where I saved the RP where Bakura came back to find Malik engaged to Seto, aptly named “PAIN” because it’s...fairly angsty. Me and this friend used to RP on Skype, making new group chats with side accounts before deleting them and leaving the two of us (which is so unnecessarily inconvenient lol but it’s what we had to do so we could rp multiple things at a time/not lose the rp in our regular group) and whenever we finished or got bored of an RP one of us would sit down, scroll all the way to the top, and copy and paste the entire thing into a word doc for re-readability. We rp’d it for well over a year, if not longer, so there’s no way to really reread it and condense it into a summary because sooo much happens. I guess highlights that I remember (or at least thing I remember fgjkdjh? we started this rp in 2016)

Bakura gives Malik a necklace he made himself (instead of a ring) before they part ways and Malik ofc keeps wearing it even after Bakura comes back and screams at them. There’s one scene early into the power relationship (when Malik still considers them fuck buddies) where Malik jumps into bed with Ryou, shoves his phone into his face, and starts screaming about Seto’s “you’re adorable” reply to a no-make up, bedhead selfie Malik had sent (bc how dare Seto be cute and do romantic things like that and kiss Malik’s hand and feed Malik chocolate covered strawberries before sex and buy him jewelry when they’re just fucking!) and Ryou’s just like “oh my fucking god just date him already gtfo my room I want to sleep.” Uhm... Malik and Seto are in the middle of wedding planning (visiting Isis and Rishid in Egypt at the time) when Bakura comes back, but they’re talking about a spring wedding in one of the parks/gardens in Seto’s neighborhood and Seto makes a comment about having the ceremony under the wisteria tree because he wants to see wisteria blossoms in Malik’s hair. Malik imagines brushing stray petals from Seto’s hair as they lean in for the kiss that will bind them for life - and then ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. Bakura passes out after using all his energy to scream at Malik (bc he JUST returned from the shadows, having had to go through multiple trials and actually give up some of his memories to be able to return) and they put him in the guest bedroom while Malik calls Ryou for help. While they wait for Ryou, Bakura wakes up and crawls out the window and runs away LOL. Uhm... Malik has a fluffy white therapy cat, ykno one of those grumpy looking smoosh faced ones, named Bakura. At some point while they’re still in Egypt Ryou takes Bakura to Kul Elna, where there’s a monument/memorial to the people that died in the massacre, and a very close knit community. Ryou takes Bakura to a community garden run by a pregnant woman named Adela who also owns a restaurant there - the food grown by the locals is used in the restaurant and iirc there was also some kind of donations thing going on where struggling families could come and take whatever they needed provided they bring back seeds or the scraps for compost or help a bit in the garden or something like that. I don’t think we ever made it explicit but we were pretty much implying that Adela was Bakura’s Actual Mom reincarnated. I think Bakura was also around for the birth, but I can’t remember much of it aside from him holding the baby. But the modern Kul Elna village actually practiced a lot of the old traditions and Bakura’s like “whoa... fuck it I might move here”. Uuuhh Bakura tells Ryou how every family in Kul Elna had a special “tzai” (tea) recipe and it could only be shared with people close to said family...before he makes some for Ryou. I think my friend got this from Star Wars? But I like it and we’ve included it in basically all our rps since. Uhm~ At one point Bakura kisses Malik and Malik slaps him and that’s how Bakura knows It’s Really Over. Malik and Seto play rock paper scissors to decide who bottoms every now and then, but it’s moreso a way to say “I want to bottom tonight but for some reason my pride keeps me from saying it outright” (dear 2016 us: bottoming is not shameful!) but also we never rp’d it, it was part of a time skip, but Malik and Seto had a threesome with Ryou and Ryou ate Seto’s ass. That’s all. We had Atem coming back and I remember he wanted to try and smooth things over but whenever Bakura saw him he had a panic attack. Uhm...that’s all for now lol, I can’t really remember much else.

             18. pride

Unfortunately, again, this is not a document about prideshipping. Every so often I get emotional and I start writing emotional things that I think I’ll post to Facebook, but then I either chicken out because I don’t want to be known or perceived. Let people continue to think I’m a hyperactive halfwit and have no deeper meaning to my thoughts. It’s chill. 

But this one was about the concept of LGBT Pride and how I felt about it, how startled I am sometimes when I run across support and acceptance in unconventional or unexpected places, how I worked hard to be comfortable enough to make the “because I’m gay” jokes out loud because growing up in a rural Kansas town I was exposed to my fair share of homophobia, both from family and from community, and even the people I called friends. It was gonna be one of those “wow I love my friends and family because now that I’ve weeded out the assholes I’m surrounded by love and support and this is exactly how much it means to me and why!” kinda posts, but I’m really bad at those, so this stayed in my WIPs. Maybe when Pride month rolls around again and I get nostalgic and emotional again I’ll finish it.

             19. pure

This one’s a “fic” written about mine and my friend’s OCs from an old superhero/supervillain RP group. My character, Zaine, was separated from his girlfriend, Tansy, during a battle with heroes that killed a lot of supers and civilians alike. They were reunited after a few years (both had assumed the other had died and somehow hadn’t run into each other at all asdkja, it was our excuse as to why the characters had changed so much (since we were coming back to rp these characters after a few years ourselves, and wanted to revamp them a bit without them losing their relationships or experiences). But in that time, Zaine became better friends with his buddy Forest, and before the gal who made Tansy rejoined the group, me and the guy who made Forest were debating if Zaine and Forest should get together. But Tansy came back and Zaine got back together with her, but I made it canon that Zaine was crushing on Forest prior to that/still a bit after Tansy came back. Zaine is in a band and it’s sort of a running joke that his band members are all betting how long it takes for a threesome or for Tansy (who’s a bit possessive) to attack Forest, and they constantly tease Zaine about how much time he spends with Forest, make “hey don’t fuel the shippers” jokes, some other stuff along those lines, etc. It’s all good natured tho.

Anyway that’s all canon. The fic was “pureshipping” - Zaine, Tansy, and Forest. It was kinda me exploring how a relationship might develop between the three of them and I was writing little bits for my friends at work based on the answers they gave me to the “How would they react to/feel about this” questions I asked before turning that into a proper story. 

It started with Tansy trying to remember when exactly she became open to the idea of polyamory, since as I said, she’s a bit possessive and got jealous easily. She recalls a night Zaine brings Forest back to their apartment after a bachelor party, with them plastered and barely able to stand. They fall down, and Zaine shushes Forest because Tansy has her laptop out and she’s working. Forest shushes Zaine back, they put their fingers against each other’s lips and keep shushing each other, drawing closer until the only thing separating their mouths are their fingers, and Tansy’s just like “whoa” and something clicks because A) she sees Zaine’s lids lower while looking at Forest the way they do when he wants to kiss HER and B) why is she not freaking out about this isn’t she a poisonous little viper that hisses at anyone that tries to flirt with Zaine? But nope, she’s never been jealous of Forest even if his and Zaine’s relationship is fairly intimate for what most consider friendship. And then a few days later she sees one of those memes that’s like “Zaine has two hands” (bc Forest is also a famous musician, and he and Zaine do a lot together, both professionally on the music front and in like. Idk, livestreams and general hanging out. so ofc weirdos ship them, and since Zaine and Tansy went public there’s gonna be ppl that include her in the weirdness) on a TVD fan page she follows so she understands some of Zaine’s inside jokes and she sees a comment from Zaine’s official facebook that’s like “these hands were made for holding!” 

and Tansy’s like. “Oh shit. Zaine DOES have two hands!” so a few days later over breakfast she asks Zaine how he REALLY feels about Forest and ofc he’s like “he’s my best friend???” and Tansy’s like “ok but no for real how do you REALLY feel about him” and then calls him out about about having a crush on him and Zaine, who’s canonically weirdly monogamous is like “no!!” but Tansy whittles him down until he admits he “HAD” a crush on Forest before he and Tansy reconnected, but swears nothing happened between them and Tansy’s like “WOULD YOU LIKE TO?” and brings up the idea of Zaine dating Forest, and Zaine’s like “I’m with you, Tans, I didn’t mean to make you feel inadequate” and she’s like “I appreciate it but not what I meant. I know you, Zaine, I know you’re a lover and not being able to tell Forest how you really feel is hurting you, so if you want to then I highly encourage you ask him out” and after like 2 whole days of debating Zaine comes back to her saying he was going to, and then a few days later they invite Forest over to have The Talk and Tansy says they’re free to date, but Forest is still mourning Kelvin, his fiancé that “died” ((in quotes bc these aren’t our characters to actually kill so all characters are just assumed dead if the roleplayer didn’t rejoin but ofc if they came back “hey surprise i’m alive!) in the war between heroes and villains and says he needs time to think about it. He thinks it over for two whole weeks -and in the meantime, Tansy is happy to see his and Zaine’s relationship hasn’t changed at all- before agreeing. They sit down to discuss boundaries and permissions and whatever, and this line: 

Tansy would never dream of forbidding them from doing anything that she and Zaine would do, especially because Zaine was a lover. He loved with all his heart, soul, and body, as if his purpose in life was to treasure his partners so thoroughly they would never question his feelings for them. It would be unfair to Forest and downright cruel to Zaine for Tansy to restrict them.

aaaa I know I wrote it but I love it. So after boundaries are discussed and all that Zaine and Forest have their first proper kiss, and it’s so sweet Tansy feels breathless alongside them. The three of them cuddle up to watch a movie but Zaine’s paying more attention to the two of them, taking turns kissing each of them while Tansy and Forest accidentally start competing for who can pull the most reactions from Zaine. Forest starts spending every weekend at Zaine and Tansy’s place and it always ends with them cuddling on the couch while watching movies, Zaine between them, but overtime Forest and Tansy become more affectionate with each other and end game was obviously the three of them, but I stopped writing it just after Forest spent the first night in bed with them.

Tansy smiled and looped her arm around Zaine, cuddling up to his side like a cat seeking attention. Zaine’s own arm found its way around her shoulders to keep her close. The last thing Tansy saw before her eyes dropped closed was Forest on the other side of Zaine mirroring her, and the last touch she registered was Forest’s hand brushing over her arm.

[ohnoitsnoraemi]

My Personal, Terrible Diabolik Lovers Headcanons

Subaru is a tiktok eboy, I made a whole post about this before

Kanato has this really cute gothic Lolita Instagram that has a mass amount of followers like it’s probably really popular.

But the second he gets a bad comment, the rest of the sakamakis have to stop him from leaving the house because he managed to get fornitegamer69 on IG’s IP address and is trying to seek vengeance for saying his cake looked gay and if he could “get an f in the chat”

So reiji had to get his password without kanato knowing so whenever kanato posted, he would sit there going through the comments and delete any single comment that might make kanato commit murder

Laito and Ayato made vines when it was around, one of theirs is on those iconic vines compilations and it’s their greatest accomplishment

Laito and Ayato earned their “bully Subaru for being a tiktok eboy” right because of it but as mentioned in the previous post: Subaru don’t take that shit

Shu and Reiji have also ended up on the iconic vines compilations but for the wrong reason

Shu was out with reiji once

And shu just fell asleep,,,, while he was with reiji,,, in public,,,,..

And reiji just looks at him, looks around him, and looks back at shu

And just fuckin B O L T S

like he is OUT OF THERE

HE COMPLETELY LEAVES SHU ALONE IN THIS RANDOM PLACE FAST ASLEEP.

some guy caught it on video

Shu was not fucking pleased

Ayato has a shit taste in movies unironically

So when someone tells him “you like shit movies”

He gets all butthurt and then watches them by himself

I have this weird headcanon that as much as ayato and laito are a bit creeped out by kanatos dolls

they like to go fuck them up

So there’s this one time that kanato is gonna go check up on his dolls

And you know the little hall of brides lookin thing

Yeah all the brides are fucking dabbing

Kanato is not pleased

Leading kanato to just put some of his lesser favored dolls in unexpected places to scare them

Like laito opens his closet

BOOM A DOLL

Laito opens the bathroom door

BOOM ANOTHER DOLL

Laito goes to ayatos room

BOOM A DOLL IN FRONT OF THE DOOR

and then there’s just ayato in the middle of the room like

“We’re never doing that again”

And then they do it again a few weeks later

Subaru wants to learn to drive and the rest of the sakamakis being assholes get him a Subaru (I know I’m sorry)

At some point the mukamis all independently decide they are going to hold some sort of intervention for another member of the family and not tell anyone else

Except it all ends up on the same day at the same time

So here are all the mukamis

In their little fucking living room

Just full on yelling at each other about their issues

“Yuma can you please stop breaking everything in this house, I get you don’t get along with kou that well but buddy you’ve broken six plates, today”

“Kou..... can you stop.... playing music so loud..... at night. I want to sleep too....”

“Azusa we all love ya here but take it down a notch with the knives we’re getting billed and i don’t know where we are even making half these payments where do ya buy these???”

“Ruki I get it but like wE CANNOT JUST LOCK EVE IN THE BASEMENT ANY TIME YOU GET INSECURE. THATS A BIT MUCH EVEN FOR US”

Ruki is a writer but won’t let anyone know

He writes either really philosophical things

Or like some really fucked up shit

Probably ghostwrote elfen lied tbh

ANYWAYS

Subaru likes sailor moon

Subaru will fucking murder you if you find out

Be prepared to get a moon tiara boomerang once you even glimpse him watching it

Shu probably wanted to be a band kid at some point in his life

Idk why I have this headcanon shu’s too lazy to be a band kid

He wanted to play the flute or some shit

He’s not about the uniforms though

just ew

Ayato made reaction memes out of everyone in the family

He uses them in the family gc

The only one that kinda enjoys them is Laito

He has to be careful using kanato and Subaru memes though

Kou stans twice, Red Velvet, blackpink you name it

Kou’s bias list consists of Mina, Joy, and Rosé.

Subaru likes my chemical romance,,,,,,

Yuma goes to this gardening shop but has been going there for like years???

And the people who own it are like

Wow you haven’t aged a bit????

In like????

10 years????

Yuma goes home and has to try to find a new shop

But that shop has some bomb ass discounts

He’s probably going to start bribing ruki to go he’ll figure it out.

Kinda like how I sorta mentioned when talking about the interventions

Azusa buys knives from places he probably shouldn’t be buying knives from

He probably unknowingly has a murder weapon in his possession

And the first time ruki smells blood from this package right

And he just opens it and there’s this knife with blood on it and Azusa walks in

“Oh,,, my new knife,,,, thank you ruki”

“Azusa???? Where did you buy this????”

“Somewhere called,,,,, the dark web”

Azusa lost his computer privileges for awhile.

Did I not mention that laito tried being a sugar daddy

Yeah he was very interested in the premise of buying some hot girl Louis Vuitton and they’d probably fuck

Until he thought that she was getting attached

And he’s just like

“I think I’m done here”

And just JUMPS IN FRONT OF A TRUCK

now it doesn’t kill him because ya know

HES A VAMPIRE

but no one else knows that,,,,

And he’s very aware that no one knows that,,,,,

That’s the plan,,,,,

Long story short he had to hide in the mansion for awhile and deal with reiji scolding him for doing that

I have too many I’ll probably post more tomorrow

[mothgenes]

you don't have to answer if you don't want to but why do you hate hazbin so much? im just kinda trying to understand others point of view and im sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, feel free to ignore/delete this if you want.

nah dw about it as long as u dont reply to this or send another one like “oh idk i still love it” i wont get mad it gives me more opportunity to block hell hotel stans 

so there are many reasons here are a few

wlw named v4ggie which is super crass is specifically supposed to be salvadoran and her personality makes her an angry latina stereotype

ch4rlie is a white savior type of figure who wants to save everyone from themselves because she clearly knows better (reinforced by show to be the truth)

The Asexual Character (who i liked when i first saw, u gotta understand) is the BIG SCARY UNUSUAL ONE, who has SCARY powers that a HUMAN SOUL shouldnt have, as if he’s NOT HUMAN SOMEHOW..... scary inhuman and like. freak ass sadistic stalking murdering ace character like ok stop thnx (signed an irritated asexual)

4ngel dust HORRIBLE gay rep. he is The Gay One. his personality is 1) is gay, 2) is prostitute/sex freak who’s predatory and gets physical with uninterested people like the cat bartender man, 3) does drugs. his personality is those things almost exclusively! his design is not one that is respectfully showing a gay character. also: DRAG AND SLUT JOKES. BAD. (signed nby trans guy)

the hell itself thing is like HELLO. THIS IS HELL. IT IS VIOLENCE, BUT ALSO SEX AND DRUGS. PEOPLE IN HELL DO LOTS OF SEX AND DRUGS. SEX AND DRUGS ARE FOR SINNERS IN HELL. demonizes (literally) sex workers and drug addicts/abusers like HARDCORE, which is gross as fuck and overdone

“i dont touch the gays, i have standards.” need i go on? this was said straight without a humorous situation being involved. this was meant to be a JOKE, as if saying these things are FUNNY... gosh i really wish hh didnt touch the gays. i mean shit, WE have standards. (signed, a gay)

a lot of girl characters have x’s over their tits on their shirts and i think thats kinda fuckin gross and lazy

its family guy but edgier with a shitty muddled color palette with no contrast and shows off token representation as excuses for the “no touch gays” and “drag show” jokes n shit as if that makes it OKAY?

it is literally just family guy edgy hell, unfunny garbage sex and violence jokes with sexist and racist and homophobic and transphobic under and overtones throughout.

ALSO V1VZ1EPERSON LIKE. PROMOTED BLACKFACERS AND TERFS KINDA RECENTLY, RELATIVELY SPEAKING? AS LIKE, “CONTROVERSIAL WOMEN” , DRAWING THEM FANART???? CONTROVERSIAL???? U MEAN NASTY????

USED TO STEAL CHARACTER DESIGNS LIKE STRAIGHT UP FROM PEOPLE LIKE THE DIE YOUNG MUSIC VID MAIN CHARACTER

NEVER APOLOGIZED OR PUBLICLY DENOUNCED HER OLD HABIT OF DRAWING CHILDREN FUCKING SNAKES OR HER TEACHER-STUDENT PEDOPHILIA RELATIONSHIP SHE PROMOTED UNTIL LATER RET-CONNING IT INTO BEING NON-UNDERAGE?

MADE THESE CHARACTERS IN THE FIRST PLACE? AND SEEMS TO THINK THAT LIKING TO MAKE TRASHY CHARACTERS AND BEING DONE WITH IT MAKES IT OKAY TO MAKE TRASHY ASS HOMOPHOBIC FREAK SHIT CHARACTERS????? SELF AWARENESS GETS NO BROWNIE POINTS.

she also doesnt label her content as 18+ last i checked. its super easy to mark it as over eighteen or sensitive content, just a little button when uploading, but she doesnt bother. her artstyle attracts younger people, anywhere from like 12 to 15 and others. thats a PROBLEM!

ok i got a little angry and loud because hh is becoming a genuine trigger for me in that it makes me super nauseous and aggressive and anxious for kinda noticeable reasons according to above, (also im autistic and my emotions hit me like a boulder and getting upset or riled up too quickly can make me fuckin black out for a second so its a LOT)

so i’d appreciate not talking abt this more but i might as well answer. its not hard to find posts, some of which i’ve reblogged here, with actual links to sources for all of the vivshit.

anyway thats why i dont like it! preferably no follow up questions but i’ll block any freaks who come out to play