#idk i guess its the academic in me but whats the point of a video essay if it doesnt provide sources for you to see for yourself

[deadnotsleepng]

sry but it does piss me off when people take everything in a video essay for granted, especially when i know for a fact that something is not true, and it took me less than 3 minutes to confirm that and prepare citations. just because some guy tells you something does not mean its inherently true. ESPECIALLY IF HE DOESNT PROVIDE SOURCES

[wykart]

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

Tagged by @yoursaltytears thankss!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Apparently, the baby from The Color Purple, because my Mum loved that movie.

2 .When was the last time you cried?

I shed some happy tears when Aloy and Seyka kissed in Horizon Burning Shores, so...the 20th of April.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. And it’s not going to happen.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Nooo I neverrrr do ;)

5. What sports  do you play/have you played?

I used to compete in Surf Life Saving from ages 10-16, and also did pool swimming comps. I was pretty serious about my training too! I don’t know how I did it.

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

I really don’t know. I guess their energy level/enthusiasm.

7. Eye colour

bluegh

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies. I rarely watch movies but when I do it’s usually horror of some variety.

9. Any special talents?

Idk about special. I used to be pretty good at classical guitar but it’s been like six years since I played. I used to play double bass in high school too. Other than that, I think I’ve developed a decent eye for colour when I’m painting that comes pretty naturally.

10. Where you born

Australia

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, drawing. It’s my activity trinity. Also gaming, both personally and watching playthroughs/speedruns. Also! Listening to music. I love listening to new music as often as I can.

12. Do you have any pets?

Cat called Lavezzi (my sister named him after the Italian soccer player)

13. How tall are you?

5′6

14. Favorite subject in school?

It was English until about halfway through high school when I started liking Physics, Chemistry, and Maths a lot more. I once took a video game design class where the teacher just let us mess around with Unity and 3D art programs, and I put a heap of effort into that.

15. Dream job?

Welllll, I used to want to be an academic researcher in AI and wanted to go into a PhD program after undergrad, but I decided it wasn’t for me. I’m not sure that influencing AI development in a positive direction is something I would have been able to do effectively from a technical position anyway, so my dreams of becoming irl Elisabet Sobeck are on hold.

I guess I’m reevaluating dreams at this point. I just want to do something that helps people and helps the world transition away from the current systemic rut its dug itself into. That’s not a salaried position, though! My current field is secure and pays well, but I’m hoping to maybe go public sector in the future so that at least my work is benefiting public services. Actual positive action has gotta come from somewhere else.

Can you tell this is a sore point?

Anyway, thanks for the tag. I got to vent a little. For those interested: @mehoymalloy @melikochan @doccywhomst @picnokinesis @gabeorelse @rearranging-deck-chairs @zagreuses-toast @trisshawkeye 

[maria-akira]

good girls don't get used: michael langdon x fem! reader — PART 2

—♡—

READ PART 1 HERE

summary: michael langdon, your ex, falls into a bet wherein he needs to (fake) date you. if he falls inlove again, he loses, and doesn't get the prize.

warnings: making out, pre-smut???, michael as a tiktok fuckboy, + me not proofreading this hahah sorry

italicized bold words are direct lyrics from the song :)

please excuse any errors. enjoy!

—♡—

It had been a few hours since Y/N arrived at home. She changed into an oversized shirt and a comfy pair of shorts. To be honest, she has never tutored anyone before, except for her baby brother Aaron. With Aaron it was just 1+1 or 2x3, you know? The basics.

"Mom, someone's coming over tonight!" She called out from upstairs,

"Who will?"

Y/N didn't know what to say. Her parents knew about Michael, and how they broke up. She didn't want her mom to know that it was him who would be coming over. Why hide it? She'll see him anyways.

"Michael! Michael Langdon!" Y/N went downstairs to finally face her mom.

"Wait, your ex?"

"Yeah.."

Her mom laughed, "Oh my, looks like something's gonna happen~" She said in a sing-song tone while she prepared dinner.

Y/N rolled her eyes, "Oh my goood mom! That was 2 years ago, he just asked if I could tutor him. Apparently, he's failing."

"He's what? Failing? Isn't he one of the top students in your batch?"

"Yeah, I honestly don't know what happened to hi—"

Ding Dong!

Oh my god, She felt her heart beating fast.

Y/N walked to the front door and opened it, and there he was. Michael Langdon in his grey sweatpants and black hoodie.

"Hey, Y/N." Michael greeted, giving her a smile.

Y/N looked him up and down,

"Hi." She gave him a sarcastic look and stepped out of the way, gesturing him to come in.

Y/N's mom squealed, "Oh my, Michael! Look how you've grown!" She squeezed him into a hug and it made Michael laugh.

Aaron came down the stairs to see what the fuss was about. When he saw Michael, he rushed towards him and hugged his thigh.

"Michaeeeelll!! You're here!" Aaron giggled

Aaron loved Michael a lot. When Y/N and Michael were still together, he would always play with him.

"Hey, slugger! Now you've grown alot too, huh?" Michael kneeled down to his height and ruffled his hair, "Yup! I'm a big boy now." Aaron said proudly with his chin up.

Slugger. That was the nickname Michael gave him.

"Is Michael staying over?" Aaron pouted and gave her puppy eyes.

Y/N panicked. How was she gonna explain?

"Well, he actually came over to study for school, but he—"

"Of course I'll stay over! Anything for you, slugger." Michael cut her off. Y/N widened her eyes, making a 'what the fuck are you doing?!?!' expression at him.

Y/N faked a cough, "Aaron, go stay with mom okay? Michael and I will be studying now."

Aaron whined and crossed his arms. "But I wanna play with Michaaael!!"

"You'll do that later. After all, he said that he'll be staying over." She looked over to Michael and gave him a sarcastic smile.

—

After a few moments of arguing with Aaron, Y/N and Michael finally went upstairs. "Your room changed alot." Michael said as he looked around her room for the first time in 2 years. Once Y/N shut the door, she stormed over to Michael.

"Langdon what the fuck was that down there?!?! I only allowed you to come over, not stay over! Where will you even sleep?!"

"In a bed, duh."

Y/N slapped his forehead, causing Michael to wince at the pain.

"Are you that stupid?! Sleep on the fucking floor!" She hid her face in her hands out of frustration, then lifting her head again. "You know what? Fuck it. I don't care anymore."

—

"So if you move negative four here, what will you get?" Y/N asked, pointing her pencil on the equation. It's now 8PM, Michael and her were studying the last subject for the day, which was Math.

Michael analyzed the problem, then wrote down the answer. "Fifty.. three?" He slid the paper to her direction. While Y/N was checking his solution, he received a message from Duncan.

Dunc 🖕🏻: how's tutoring going?

Michael: its fine ig, lmao im staying over 😴

Dunc 🖕🏻: yooo what?? where you gonna sleep?

Michael: beside her? idk im still gonna play video games with her brother so i guess i'll sleep beside her 😶

Michael: brb shes done checking my solution

"Michael," She called for his attention, He let out a hum in response. "Your solution is correct.. But to avoid confusion, change this into an arrow instead of an equal sign, because it isn't the final answer yet." Y/N pointed out his mistake and circled it with a mechanical pencil.

Michael smiled. despite this 'trying to get her trust back' thing, he thought that Y/N was adorable like this. Focused with academics. He admired her alot.

Y/N looked over at Michael, "Langdon, are you even listening?" She snapped her fingers in attempt to catch Michael's attention.

Michael went back to reality, "Yeah. I get it now, thanks Y/N." Michael got his paper back and saw all the check marks. While Michael was distracted with his paper, Y/N stood up and streched. "They're all correct?" He looked up at her and asked in fake disbelief. Y/N rolled her eyes, "Duh, what are all the check marks for, dimwit?" She furrowed her eye brows and made her way to the door.

She glanced over at the clock beside her mirror, it was already 8:15 PM. "Hey, we have to go down for dinner now." She looked over to him and opened the door. Michael stood up and made his way to the door, stopping by the mirror, "Damn, I'm hot." Michael said as he praised his reflection in the mirror. When Y/N heard this, she furrowed her eyebrows and looked at him.

"Yeah sure, maybe in a different planet." She insulted, playfully hitting his arm.

"Oh c'mon Y/N, you miss me." Michael leaned on the wall with the support of his arm. Y/N shut the door.

"What makes you say that, Langdon?" She crossed her arms and leaned against the door.

"I've seen the way you look at me, baby. Admit it, you miss me, you wanna kiss me, you wanna be mine all over again."

"Don't hit me with your 'say you miss me, say you wanna kiss me.' shit, Langdon. I'm not that stupid," Y/N pulled on the neckline of Michael's hoodie, signalling him to come closer. Now, their faces were a few centimeters apart.

"Let's face the facts here, Langdon. Actually? you want me." She pulled him even closer, her lips ghosting over his. Michael moved closer in attempt to kiss her, yet to no avail. Y/N smirked and pushed him away. "You know, you're better than that." She gave him a little tap on the cheek and left the room, slamming the door in his face.

Michael was speechless. Y/N did change, a lot.

—

"So what brings you here, Michael?" Y/N's father asked, eating a slice of steak that was on his plate. "I'm currently failing some of my classes and I asked Y/N if she could help me. Luckily, she agreed." Michael looked over to Y/N and gave her a smile. She kicks him under the table, causing him to flinch.

"Will you be staying over, Michael? It's getting late." Y/N's mother asked this time, "If that would be okay with you, Mrs. Y/L/N." Michael replied, looking over to Y/N again.

Well, let's say that everyone looked at Y/N after Michael said that.

The silence made Y/N glance at them, "Why are you all looking at me..?" She said in a confused tone, her mom shot her a 'is it okay if he sleeps in your room' look. Y/N sighed, "Fine, he'll sleep in my room." Now, everyone went back to what they were doing.

After dinner, Y/N's mom called up Michael's parents to inform them that he would be staying for the night.

Y/N was washing the dishes tonight, and of course Michael volunteered to help her.

"Why did you even volunteer? You hate washing dishes, Langdon." She said as she cleaned a dirty plate with the soap filled sponge.

"Oh c'mon, Y/N. Can't I change?" He replied, rinsing one of the dishes that Y/N cleaned.

Y/N scoffed, "You? Change?"

Michael elbowed her side, "Hey, I did change!"

"Whatever." She went back to what she was doing cleaned the rest of the dishes, ignoring Michael's statement.

After a few more dishes, her hair started to slip away from the loose ponytail she made earlier. Her hands were slippery and full of soap, if she were to wash her hands and fix her hair, then go back to washing the dishes, her hands would be wet again. Plus, the drying towel was on Michael's side. So she asked for his help.

"Michael," Her voice was soft. Softer than usual. "Yea?" Michael replied, still rinsing the dishes.

"Can you please tie my hair up? It's slipping away."

"Hold on." Michael shook the water off his hands and dried it using the towel beside him, while Y/N turned her back over to his direction. Michael removed the hair tie and bit on it. He started gathering her hair from the top, combing his fingers through her soft, silky hair. He was very gentle. After he gathered her hair, he removed the hair tie from his teeth and tied her hair, careful not to tug too hard.

Y/N turned around to face him, "Hm, maybe you did change," Michael was curious when she paused. "Because you used to be so aggressive when you tied my hair." She joked and finished off the dishes that were left.

—

It's now 11 pm. Michael is in Aaron's room playing video games, and Y/N is alone in her room, doing some extra school work that was due for next week.

Like any other Friday night, girls like Y/N's age would be out partying like there was no tomorrow. After that one time she was really drunk and a guy touched her inappropriately, she never went out partying again.

Once Y/N finished her school work, she decided to take a shower. She wanted to take advantage of Michael's absence and stay in the shower longer than usual. Like a typical teenage girl, she would blast music in the shower, dancing and singing like she had a whole audience to perform for.

Y/N wrapped a towel around her body and left the bathroom to get her clothes from the dresser. Little did she know, Michael was back from her brother's room.

"I see you still have that body, huh?" Michael smirked and looked her up and down. Y/N turned around to see Michael on her bed. Her instincts told her to scream and throw an object at him, so she did.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!"

"Chill, it's not like you haven't sent me your nudes before." Michael dodged whatever she threw at him and laughed.

"Yea, and I regret sending those to your ugly ass. If I could turn back time, I would've sent them to your hot bestfriend, Duncan was it?" She turned around again to get her clothes from the dresser. Michael walked over to her and grabbed her neck from behind,

"What did you fucking say?" He growled in her ear. She smirked and bat her eyelashes innocently at him.

"I said, I would've sent them to Duncan. You should set me up with him, hm?" Y/N knew what she was doing, "Aww, is little Mikey getting jealous?" She mocked in fake sympathy. She removed his hand from her neck, turned around to face him and gave him a pout. 

Michael was furious. What has gotten into him? He doesn't even love her. He just fell into a stupid bet just to fuck some girl's pussy after he fucks with her ex's feelings. But why does he feel like this? Like he needs to have Y/N only for himself?

Before Y/N went back to the bathroom to get dressed, she just had to get on Michael’s nerves again, as if she wasn’t already. At this point, she could literally see fire in his eyes. He was really mad. But why?

"Look at you, Mikey. You can't respond when you react." She giggled and gave him a quick nose boop as the cherry on top for her little act. But she wasn't getting away so fast. When she turned her back on him, Michael aggresively wrapped his hand around her neck and pulled her, securing an arm around her waist.

"Where do you think you're going, you little shit? You aren't getting away easily after that stunt." The grip on Y/N's throat slowly tightened. "W-Wh... Why are you so mah-d.. Huh?" She managed to choke out.

Michael left soft kisses against her neck, while slowly loosening the grip on her throat. "See, Mikey? You're the one who misses me." Y/N whimpered, using her free hand to pull on Michael's hair in hopes of prying him off, but he was stubborn. Y/N whispered in his ear, "Whatever it is you're trying to do, Langdon, I'll never give in." She pushed her elbow into his ribs, causing Michael to groan. Finally, Y/N goes back to her bathroom to get dressed.

Once she leaves, Michael punches the nearest wall in frustration. He hated rejection. The girls that he usually fucked with never turned him down, they always wanted more. Why wouldn't it work on Y/N?

Michael sat on the long side of her bed, still thinking about what happened earlier. He couldn't believe that she could play with him like that. It made him look like he was the desperate one, which he is.

He took out his phone to text Duncan about what happened.

Michael: yo dunc, something happened

Dunc 🖕🏻: what happened? slr i'm at a party

Michael: bro she's a tough little shit. i did the usual thing that i would do to another girl, she didn't give in at all. instead, she's playing with me.

Dunc 🖕🏻: lmao man step up your game, she isn't your usual girl

Michael: dumbass you think i'm not?

Dunc 🖕🏻: duh??? if you were actually stepping up your game then you would've fucked her there and then 🙄

Michael: whatever.

Once he heard her bathroom door open, he immediately hid his phone back in his pocket. He looked over his shoulder to see Y/N already dressed in her pajamas. Michael didn't know what to do. His angelic side says to 'go and say sorry', yet his devilish side says to 'try harder and fuck with her feelings even more.' Of course, it was obvious what is choice was.

Y/N plopped herself on the bed and grabbed her blanket that was near Michael. She then placed the blanket over her and locked eyes with him.

Michael crawled beside her and placed the blanket over him as well. They are a few inches apart. Y/N turned the TV on, clicking on Netflix. Though she tried her best to ignore Michael, she can't help but think about what happened earlier. She liked it. No, she loved it. She loved the fact that she was able to get on Michael's nerves, and how he reacted to it. It was hella attractive to her, and the smell of Michael's perfume wasn't helping her either.

Now, Y/N was watching some cartoon show that she loved. "Are you kidding? You still watch cartoons?" Michael complained, gesturing at the TV. "Yea? What about it? I bet you only watch porn." She shot back and pulled the blanket towards her, leaving Michael without it.

Michael laughed, "I just can't believe a girl like you would watch cartoons. I find it cute." He pulled the blanket towards him, sticking his tongue out to tease her.

A few minutes passed by and Michael was on his phone, scrolling on TikTok. The same sound that kept repeating for almost a minute caught Y/N's attention. Was he watching the same video?

Y/N paused the TV and looked over to Michael's direction, averting her gaze to his phone. She took a good look at the video. a shirtless boy with a gold chain, with LED lights in their room.

"You've been watching that video over and over again, Langdon. Do you like him or something?"

"Yea, I like myself."

Like myself? Oh my god, no.

"What do you mean..?" That can't be him in the video.

"That's me."

Y/N's mouth dropped, "Wha— huh? How? I mean, yeah.. but?"

Michael let out a laugh that he had been holding in, "But what? Look, I'll show you." He handed her his phone, which allowed Y/N to have a closer look of the video.

"So you're telling me you blew up on tiktok by thrusting a phone on your pelvis??" Y/N stared at the amount of likes, a fucking million.

"Uh, yeah? That's how TikTok works? Look at the comments." Michael tapped the comments icon and Y/N scrolled through it.

'yo im down bad 😫'

'can we keep him a secret pls'

'chill i have a bf..'

'break my back 🤪'

Y/N bursted out in laughter, "Oh my god, if only they knew." she gave his phone back and Michael looked at her with a puzzled look.

"Knew what?" He asked, "You couldn't even 'break my back' two years ago, Michael!" She said in between giggles. "That was two years ago, Y/N! Two fucking years. I was a virgin!" Michael defended himself, then immediately realizing what he said.

Y/N wasn't aware that she was Michael's first.

"Wait Y/N, the last part isn't tru—"

She smirked and grabbed her phone from wherever she left it. She opened Twitter and decided to tweet about what Michael said, just for fun.

just wanted to let yall know that @m_langdon admitted that 2 years ago he lost his virginity to me 🤩

"What are you typing and why are you smiling?" Michael asked with a hint of fear in his voice. He feared that Y/N would do something that would tear his reputation down.

Y/N gave him a mischievous grin, "Oh nothing, just tweeted about what you said."

Michael's face fell, and Y/N hit the tweet button.

"Did you twee—"

"Yeah, go check your Twitter. I tagged you too."

Michael shot her a slight glare and went to his Twitter.

Y/N's tweet already had 5 retweets, 14 likes, and 8 replies.

"You did not." Michael said, shocked at how she would do something like this. "Ooh sorry babe, I just did." She faked a pout and formed a letter 'L' with her hand.

Michael felt embarrassment fill him, he wanted to scream at her so bad. He never thought that she would go this far. She was never like this.

He took a deep breath, "Why did you tweet that?"

"And you have the audacity to ask why?"

"Delete that tweet, Y/N." His voice was demanding and dark.

"Or what?"

Michael slowly started to kneel on the bed and hover over her. "You don't want to know."

Y/N smirked and fixed her posture, "Infact, I'd like to know. Care to tell me?” 

Michael clearly wasn’t having any of her shit, he was more than angry. He wanted to release all of his frustrations, and he was gonna do that. 

He trapped her by placing a leg on each side of her left thigh. Surprisingly, Y/N did not shrink against the headboard of the bed. She remained in her place. Their faces are centimeters apart now, 

“Now what, Langdon? Just gonna stare at me? Pathetic shit.” She cupped his face and stroked his cheek mockingly, then dragging her thumb against his bottom lip. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Michael swatted her hand away and crashed his lips again hers. The kiss was so intense, Michael hasn’t kissed any girl like this, it was a foreign feeling for him, and especially for Y/N. Michael’s free hand started roaming throughout her body, tickling her soft flesh. Meanwhile, Y/N was tugging on Michael’s hoodie, “Take this off.” She pulled away from the kiss and gasped for air. Michael took off his hoodie and revealed his naked chest infront of her.

Y/N felt weak. She wanted to fight this feeling so bad, which was lust. But it was too late.

"Fuck me, Michael.." Y/N whimpered, ashamed of her current state. Michael ran his thumb over her bottom lip, "What was that? I didn't catch it." He pouted, teasing her. Y/N couldn't believe herself. She promised herself that she would never fall for any of Michael's antics, yet here she is— completely submitting to him.

Y/N cleared her throat, "Fuck me please.." Michael cocked his head to the side, amused. He was enjoying this. He loved it so much. He finally had Y/N where he wanted her to be, wrapped around his little finger.

Michael's lips ghosted against her cheek, his breath warming up her skin. "Gladly."

And it begins now.

—♡—

this took me like 3 weeks im sorry 😔 nonethelEEEESSSSS i enjoyed writing this despite some breakdowns here and there <3

tags (ily all sm <3): @kitwalker02 @angelicmichael @deademobitch @iheartfrogs101 @tatestripedsweater @mrs-march-ahs @no-mercy-bby @hawtghostgirl @vixemi @antichristwifey @bitchchatter @fallwiththesun @booksandfandomsarelife1 @roseelizabeth666 (im sorry if i missed anyone!!)

—♡—

[chemicalpink]

Hey, I hope you are doing good this was a thing that was wondering me so there are lot of bts future spouse /soulmate/twinflame videos being made on youtube and honestly everyone is being psychic like it has become a shitshow and what was previously just for curiosity fun and entertainment are becoming extremely emotionally invested in the topic especially for maknae line soulmate it would be interesting if the can do a tarot reading or your spiritual experience why is the future spouse saga turning ugly and does universe what us to know something through it !? Because it's becoming pretty crazy right now

Okay so I believe that yes, the spiritual part has a lot to do behind this occurrence, but I also think its roots lay on psicosocial matters and honestly I could go on for days about this but I’ll try to restrict it to a few points that you’ve mentioned

Why all of a sudden everyone seems to be tarot readers/astrologers/psychic?

The capitalism behind celebrities and how does that play a part in what is going on?

Are these people accurate at all?

How does energy shifting play a part in this?

Is the soulmate journey even something a third person would be able to note?

But first a Disclaimer: this opinion/rant is based on my experience with spirituality, I am obviously a mere mortal, so I do not hold the absolute truth. Spirituality is a constant learning process and it is open to discussion and interpretation of each person. I am also now a proud sociologist graduate that specialises in a lot of the stuff that has to do with what anon is asking, I’m a social behaviouralist applied to the entertainment industry as well but I’ll also provide my resources in the end.

A/N: Some of you might not yet be ready to read all of this, if I see ANY of you trying to start beef with me, even after the disclaimer, I'm gonna block you. If you want to talk more about it or want to discuss it further, DO SO OFF ANON. ISTG you’ve been warned, I’ve been working on this for the longest time, it even has resources to back all of it up! I’m so glad anon asked, I’m done being diplomatic on this topic (I know people that usually ask stuff are so respectful and i love you guys for it, this note is for those people that regularly jump on my asks to stir things up)

You guys are in for a whole academic article if you decide to read this

SO FUN AND EXCITINGGGG Let us start with behavioural economics as our base to understand the whole phenomenon, it's such a broad and kinda complex concept (especially since I’m trying to extrapolate it to this particular scenario) so let me do my best. It has a lot to do with trend following, although at least to me, it's unclear how exactly this content came to be (soulmate readings, channeling messages, etc) I am guessing it had something to do with an intersectionality between the general spirituality boom that we’ve met with during the pandemic and some person that just as any other marketable opportunity, saw a bridge between fandom life and this spiritual life (both prominent trends in the last two years or so) and honestly, it worked perfectly, whatever their initial intentions were, they threw out a new “product” and it kind of sold itself, two different trends coming together… turned into a behavioural game theory where if you played the part that allows your content to be consumed, you’ll get rewarded for it. In more simple words, tarot meets fandoms (alternatively, tarot meets BTS) is great as it is! but the fan behaviour (which we’ll talk about in a bit) positions the most private parts of the celebrities’ lives to be much more interesting than things that we are already able to see (personal experience, love readings do so much better than idk career readings and it all comes down to behavioural trends of perceiving ‘love’ as something very intimate)

Now, this is where we’ll begin to talk about capitalism as a whole, even in non-monetary systems like social media, where it takes more of a rewarding system via likes, views, reblogs, etc. The whole principle of us living in such a system is being aspirational, we see others profiting off of something, we might want to reach out and do the same so we can profit ourselves, which honestly, I think is what happened with the whole BTS soulmate readings boom, they get a lot of attention, and as a basic market law, as demand goes up and a few people that initially did these readings are no longer capable to satisfy the need of the people wanting to know all the tea, there are market opportunities for other people to do the same thing and increase the offer, although since this whole theory is behavioural, it is very context-dependant, which ends up not following the principle of the consumers being rational about how much and what content they consume, they just sort of consume all of it, regardless of whether the content creator is qualified to offer such content or not, which ultimately only adds onto a never ending cycle of more people claiming they are tarot readers/astrologers/psychics and fear nothing because this is the internet, you don't really have to enter any qualifications to be able to create content, whether someone is reliable in internet terms is basically all about how many likes they’ve got (which is why I always tell you guys to please consume content responsible).

When it comes to accuracy- I guess that’s the hardest part of all, we can’t just have pointers that would automatically tells us if someone’s craft is valid or not, since everyone’s craft is different all craft is valid to a certain extent (you can easily find scammers of course but that’s another story) what we can have are personal standards and deciding what content to consume or whose content to consume, but that’s entirely a personal decision and since so many people are invested in it- it seems really hard that these “market tendencies” might change any time soon. On that same note of accuracy, I really feel the need to talk about a major occurrence I’ve come across in this whole soulmate scene, minors. Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a minor and approaching spirituality (I was very much a minor when I started) but there’s a huge difference between just playing around and deciding to create content for the whole world to have access to. Of course I’m aware not all tarot readers in the BTS fandom are minors, and ARMY is very diverse and even if they were only minors it would be wrong to invalidate them, but we can’t ignore the statistics of it when touching this particular topic, according to 2020 data, 50,31% of ARMY are below 18 years old, and 42,59% are between 18-29 but why is this important? because the exact historical and economic moment we are living in mainly impacts these two age groups, thus making all 92,90% of ARMY a potential target to consuming or falling in a behavioural game theory of creating this content without them necessarily being qualified for it. But hey, why do you keep talking about the importance of being qualified? Glad you asked, creating spiritual content all comes down to one amazing term: accountability.

And this will explore two main phases of it, one applicable for that 50,31% that could potentially be drawn to create spiritual content and other for the 42,59% that could potentially be dragged to creating that content without much spiritual knowledge. For the first one, it has a lot to do with cognitive aspects, young people tend to do stuff without much further thought about how their actions impact other people, which, as they should, they are kids, they shouldn’t have to worry too much about emotional responsibility as us adults do, furthermore, they are in life stages where they can’t really comprehend many abstract concepts that we later learn in life, and spirituality is one of those concepts, so they tend to just have fun with it with no regards on how their content might impact other minors (this is where the whole feeding a false scenario that is potentially delusional in exchange of more views, likes comes into play) on a more spiritual level, they also aren’t able to comprehend the boundaries of the celebrities they’re reading for, us readers have to always be careful about the information we give out since it is not ours to give. As for the second group, some of this is still applicable since theorists consider a full cognitive maturity until 23 years of age, but since it is very intersectional itself, i would found it more to a spiritual responsibility, since they are young adults, and if they haven’t been spiritually guided as kids, they’re most probably eager to learn and just awakening yet to some of them the drive to this spirituality is content creation instead of inner work, so they get their hands on a tarot deck, might kind of read a few things, call it a day and start reading for BTS (note: not all of them, I’m aware)

As for the maknae line being the most sought out people with this content, I guess it kinda makes sense now that I’ve said all of the information above, maknae line is closest to the age group of 92,90% of ARMY, so they instantly become more marketable to this content creation and the whole Game Theory that we are seeing. With all that being said, and just adding a note coming from my own spiritual experience, soulmates in any form are a difficult topic for a third person to prode, which is why I, personally, tend to not touch that topic, love is one hell of a concept, especially since we all have different conceptions of love and interpersonal relationships. I do know for a fact that there’s only so far we can go in terms of fated connections, like with astrology, but even then, we would have to know their birth times exactly (so we can check for any indicator or a soulmate connection), and/or compare BTS with the rest of the world’s population in order to accurately tell if someone has a soulmate synastry/overlay/composite with them. Also, soulmate journeys are intimate and we are all just fans, what right do we even have to look for things that do not and will never belong to us?

This is why I’m always telling you guys to PLEASE consume content responsibly! Really! Us content consumers also have our part to play that can help us get more accurate, more drama-free content

REFERENCES (what? you thought I was joking? they’re in alphabetical order)

ARMYCENSUS 2020

Loewenstein, G., O’Donoghue, T., & Rabin, M. (2003). Projection bias in predicting future utility. Quarterly Journal of Economics, 118(4), 1209-1248.

March, J. G. (1978). Bounded rationality, ambiguity, and the engineering of choice. The Bell Journal of Economics, 9(2), 587-608.

Markus, H. R., & Kitayama, S. (1991). Culture and the self: Implications for cognition, emotion and motivation Psychological Review, 98, 224-253.

Mazar, N., Amir, O., & Ariely, D. (2008). The dishonesty of honest people: A theory of self-concept maintenance. Journal of Marketing Research, 45(6), 633-644.

Murphy, S. T., & Zajonc, R. B. (1993). Affect, cognition, and awareness: Affective priming with optimal and suboptimal stimulus exposures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64, 723-729.

Samson, A., & Voyer, B. (2014). Emergency purchasing situations: Implications for consumer decision-making. Journal of Economic Psychology, 44, 21-33.

Schwartz, B. (2004). The paradox of choice: Why more is less. New York: Ecco.

Shah, A. K., & Oppenheimer, D. M. (2008). Heuristics made easy: an effort-reduction framework. Psychological Bulletin, 134(2), 207-222.

Thaler, R. H. (2015). Misbehaving: The making of behavioral economics. Allen Lane.

Thaler, R. H. (2008). Mental accounting and consumer choice. Marketing Science, 27, 15-25.

Wood, W., & Neal, D. T. (2009). The habitual consumer. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 19, 579-592.

[casgirl]

People are so weird about the most unimportant shit ever. Yes Supernatural is bad. I’ve seen it. I enjoy it. It makes me crazy but like, I’m an adult that has a job and buys groceries. I cannot be bothered to care about how lame some things in a CW show were, ESPECIALLY because I have the power to make those things better in my head or by indulging in fan works. Being upset about malicious or offensive writing is one thing. Being upset about if a show is good or not is another. I used to be one of those people that shit on Riverdale for all kinds of “reasons” without even watching it because that’s what people did. Now I realize that yeah, it’s kinda stupid, but it’s fun right? Then that’s a good thing! Gotham is bad but it’s silly and I like it. Star Wars is fucked up and I love it. I watched a commentary video of two twitter lesbians genuinely complaining about how unwoke and lame the High School fucking Musical movies are and I just had to go outside for awhile on their behalf.

I guess people just don’t know that they can enjoy things that aren’t like Oscar worthy cinematic masterpieces that are groundbreaking generational and cultural phenomena or some shit.

I didn’t mean to full on rant but just know that 9 times out of 10 when I’m tired of watching people make big deals out of meaningless fictional bullshit online I come back to your account or I listen to baitpod because it reminds me that there are still normal people out there

there’s like a fine line between making fun of a show’s ridiculous writing vs being like genuinely upset about it and if you’re gonna constantly make yourself mad about a show’s bad writing you can just find something that you think is better! like i love being a hater we all know that but like im always gonna just keep it to the level where i’m like still having fun and am enjoying most of the content and if it gets to a point where it’s making me miserable i just move on. hence why i don’t really talk about star wars or asoiaf anymore. like. you’re not gonna Fix a tv show by posting on tumblr about plot holes every day.  

i feel like riverdale is an entirely different beast bc like, most of the people making those long as video essays about how the writing is “cringey” are like adults in their twenties. and riverdale is a teen show for teens. people with english degrees are NOT the target demographic for this show! like you can enjoy it for what it is or you can watch idk. the wire or something. 

i guess this is all a bit hypocritical of me bc im like. a media studies person in real life but that’s also like WHY i am never going to write about supernatural in any academic capacity. like its something lighthearted that i enjoy and i want to keep it that way lol. also i think the embarrassment of a professor reading any of my takes on supernatural would kill me outright. anyways, thank you for the ask and thank you very much for saying i’m a normal person it really does mean a lot.

[gilded-green]

In celebration of the 10th anniversary, I’ll probably reread GG and send updates/highlight areas and as for commentary. Probably XD

But first. What aspect of Gilded Green was your favorite? What was something you put in a lot of world building for but never got to show either in fic or on tumblr. Who is your favorite character and why, what makes them special in your eyes? Which character has turned into a completely different one as soon as you started writing them? Which part of the fic did you like most when you finished it, do you still like it? Similarly, which part do you dislike most?

Lasty, anything about gg2’s story you want to share/talk about/rant?

-love, the dai li fangirl

Haha, no pressure! But at the same time yes if you do feel free to send me passages for commentary here! <3

What aspect was my favorite? Hmmm. *thinking face* I think, when I first came up with it, I was just thrilled to have these two small things - minor character Lu Ten, overlooked villain organization Dai Li - that I was able to combine into something so big. That was pretty nifty!

As I started developing the story, I think what really caught my attention was the fact that “Wow, all these characters are awful people!” Like. The Dai Li aren’t good.The Fire Nation aren’t good. Lu Ten is a victim but also an oppressor. All off these people have extremely different beliefs and worldviews - Fire supremacist, police state enforcers, classist academic gatekeepers - and all of them think THEY’RE in the right here and none of them are. I think Tien and Hoang might be the only people with a decent, non-oppressive worldview in the story so far. XD I was growing out of the storytelling trope of black-and-white morality at the time, so it was really fun to start experimenting with writing awful people as enjoyable, sympathetic characters.

World building? Hmm. I was just learning how to use my worldbuilding muscles back then. I seem to remember reading up a lot on how brainwashing actually works in the real world and going “I don’t think this is compatible with what we have in ATLA” and just kinda tossing that whole thing out. XD I also recall looking up a lot of stuff for the bits about Jouin, some of which - kalua pig! - has since shown up again in WFFD. I also recall someone on FFdotnet at the time saying “All this chapter did was tell us more about a dead character than the living one” and I was just kinda like -_- yes because he is DEAD and this is your chance to feel sorry about that, we’ll get plenty more of the living one later on account of him still being, y’know, alive. XD

Oh, and Shirong’s personal side projects. I finally got into that a bit in A Meeting of Minds, but the dude DOES have his own stuff going on, which Delun so rudely interrupted to drag him off to see Long Feng about brainwashing a Firebender.

I also did a bunch of research for the birthday party interlude, I think. Mostly appropriate alcohol for such an occasion? And....okay, this’ll sound funny, but.....food containers. I wanted Fen to pack up leftovers for Suyin and Shirong. That’s what my Italian family does after get-togethers, and I assumed that a Chinese family/friend group would do the same! But I also had, like, zero exposure to everyday Chinese life, let alone everyday Chinese life in the 1800s, and I just didn’t have the...idk, cultural osmosis? to figure it out. Like, if you asked me how Victorians would transfer food I’d probably come up with “Idk, wrap it in cloth and stuff it in a basket?” and I assumed people living in modern China would also be able to explain what their people did for food storage/transport 150 years ago but I didn’t have that cultural background, now, did I??? Also this was 10-12 years ago I was looking this up, mind you, the internet was still very different, there was plenty of information on Chinese historical events but not on everyday life objects, CDramas weren’t easy to find if they were translated at all and I certainly didn’t know they existed, and no one was posting beautiful aesthetic videos of life in a rural Chinese mountain village to youtube yet. Eventually I learned that bamboo baskets were a thing, but there wasn’t much info on THOSE either and I wasn’t sure how to describe them, so I just tentatively typed “basket” and called it a day. XD

YOU CANNOT ASK ME TO CHOOSE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER THAT’S LIKE ASKING ME TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MY CHILDREN!!! *shoves Yong off a cliff*

I’m very fond of the Dai family, along with the Trungs and Sais. I’m very proud of how Tuan turned out. I adore Yuan, who you’ve barely met, and Xun, who you haven’t. Huang and Wu Sheng are also definite faves and I can’t wait for y’all to get to know them better.

Characters do usually behave for me in terms of personality development. They surprise me, but they never really turn out to be the complete OPPOSITE of what I was expecting? They just kinda develop organically. Huang and Wu Sheng surprised me, tho, those boys got deep. I knew they had the potential, but developing their backstory actually caused Stingrae and I to develop Ba Sing Se’s socio-political backstory and Long Feng’s rise to power, all because of an inkling I had. That was a very satisfying few years of worldbuilding and story development.

Um, favorite part of the fic....idk, I’m very fond of the final scene, with Azula and her wall chunk from Lu Ten. I’m doubly fond of it because of how it always resonates with readers. Heck, during Azula week last year, I used that chunk of rock as an ongoing theme in Sandstone, and someone commented like “I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU’RE THE ONE WHO WROTE GILDED GREEN” and that made me really happy!

Lu Ten’s time stuck underground - I used the seven stages of grief to get through that one and it was very helpful in structuring that part of the story, and I figured it was deep or something because PSYCHOLOGY.

I’m also proud of myself for getting through the dark brainwashing scenes. So, like, FYI, fanfiction could get...very dark, back in the 00s. People love to play purity police these days and complain about how nasty people get can, but listen. Listen. Do you have any idea how dark FFdotnet got back in the day? Legolas And Aragorn Get Captured By Orcs And Brutally Tortured was an entire genre. I feel like torture fic was actually a lot more common back then, and darkfic in general - I’m sure someone could write a whole thesis on why it’s not so prevalent anymore, I’m gonna guess the fact that fandom is less-insulated and more public now could be part of it, maybe also the fact that the internet is more social media/influencer culture based so people care about their image, and also the purity police which is its own kettle of worms, but I also think that the Bush Administration had something to do with it? You have all these kids who were pre-teens when 9/11 happened, growing up during the Iraq War with an awful presidential administration while everyone was scared and conservative Christianity started to realize that their control over the nation’s “morality” might be slipping and reacted accordingly......yeah there was a lot of darkfic back then.

And I read a lot of darkfic too, but, uh....well, statistically speaking, a lot of writing is bad, okay? A lot of those fics were just weird; you could see where the writer had this idea, and also where they failed to execute it in a way that resonated or made sense. And whatever, writers were young and just wanted to pound out some catharsis, it’s cool, but it still just felt narratively awkward when you could tell how the writer was more focused on LET’S MAKE THIS AS DARK AS POSSIBLE instead of “Let’s tell this as well as possible.”

So the first several attempts at writing the brainwashing scenes, I was nervous because I didn’t want to get TOO dark, and when I finally decided “eff it” and said to Stingrae “I think I need to let this be as dark as it needs to be” I was still nervous because I didn’t want it to end up WEIRD. Idk if that makes sense, but anyway I seem to have done a decent job at it!

As for parts I dislike the most, uhhhhh Iroh’s retreat (I didn’t care, I just wanted to get it over with), Enlai might’ve been promoted too fast? idk, the fact that I came up with Nanyue AFTER I finished publishing GG so I couldn’t work that into the Quy bits, the fact that I was young and innocent and didn’t understand sexual slang or innuendo and randomly chose Dong as the name of the court physician which could lead to some awful puns except no one ever seemed to pick up on that and maybe I’ll regret pointing it out but the man IS going to appear again so I might as well get the first shot in myself. XD

I might have GG2 stuff to talk about but not sure, if I do I’ll make another post on that!

<3

[lynxandbadger]

Seventy-Two Days

(yes im reusing this banner but i dont feel like making a new one okay alkfdjlsjf) hey yall happy middle of the summer (or winter if ur a southern hemisphere pal) hope youre all doing well! i am currently in the middle of summer school which is Not Fun but you know, gotta do what you gotta do. i have a specific reason for this post but since i dont expect many people to actually see this its mostly just for me lol so im gonna ramble but in case someone is reading this and wants me to get to the point

tldr; im challenging myself to make an edit a day for the next 72 days (dont expect them to be quality though lol)

okay so onto the rambling bit for my own memory archive. putting it under a cut so yall dont have to suffer through if u dont wanna asdfljdks

alrighty so time for a monologue.

blah blah blah this summer is a summer and you know what im tired of hearing myself talk so im actually gonna try to keep this short anyway but we all know thats not gonna happen bc lets be real this is me talking and since when do i ever keep things brief lajsdfjs

uhhhh i swear i had a point when i started writing this post skdjlfsld bear with me its 3:30 pm and i got five hours of sleep last night so im tired okay and yeah i know i could type all this stuff out and then consolidate it into a nice soft and neat post and i should do that but also no one really follows my blog except for like a few people (lookin @ u naomi i know ur reading this) which is fine bc i never post lol so im gonna leave it here in the raw unprocessed form for me to look back at someday and be like yep sounds about right u came to write a short post explaining a thing and u made it an entire essay good goin eloise 10/10

hmm still havent gotten to my main point OKAY SO lets get there already smh its like im procrastinating my procrastination

actually nah fam im gonna keep rambling for that exact reason, procrastination

im supposed to be doing stuff lol i have a final on friday but have i studied at All? nope and im not gonna its an all or nothing sort of thing and yeah maybe im no longer a good student academically but you know what fuck it yall ill deal with that later

so lets chat

dnp both came out since i last posted well okay i guess dan was out when i made my last edit but that one was partially a joke edit so it doesnt count. i forgot what i was gonna say about dnp coming out bc i went to check when dan uploaded his video to confirm but like idk yall it was probably something about how im proud of them or whatever

okay so at this point this post is 100% for me to be amused at when i reread it someday so im just gonna fill it with stuff that might only make sense to me while also keeping in mind that maybe someone who isnt me is also reading this but thats just showbiz babey

okay so (oh hey future me look at that do u remember what thats a reference to) uhh okay so might as well ramble on the topic of why i started this post in the first place

summer 2019 what can you say

let me give u a briefprobablynotbrief overview of the summer so far

marianas trench (again)

stats class

listening to new music (two bands in particular) (pop quiz do u remember which two??)

national bee movie treasure rabbit

josh ramsay matt webb ian casselman mike ayley

being bored

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

marianas trench

s

HHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNN

um

Marianas Trench

yeah thats about it fam

did i mention marianas trench yet

okay im getting hungry lets wrap this shit up so i can go get some food

okay so might as well actually talk about why im doing this edit thing

i am bored. idk what im doing with my life. idk i wanna do something creative and really the only creative thing i have the resources to do is make shitty edits so that was really the only thing i could think of to do lol.

alright bud im out lol gotta go eat food come up with an idea for the first edit and also do a lot of actual productive stuff bc as u may remember as i type this im currently skipping something else

ooohhh nice! fun. and yum!

xoxo elowoise

[mildswearingat4am]

Tag Game

Hi! I was tagged a while ago by @hamsterwritin​ (thanks!) and now it’s finally time to play ~

1. What kind of genre do you like to write? Why?

Writing fantasy is fun, because magic. Plus I can make up plants and creatures that work the way I think they should, not the way they realistically would, because they’re magical things in a world that doesn’t totally make sense to begin with. I like working with a dash of nonsense. 

2. Which do you like writing better, heroes or villains?

I feel like studying philosophy gives you really good ideas for evil villain monologues, but I still prefer writing heroes. 

3. Do your characters have a favorite type of weather?

 Well, Max hates rain. 

4. Romantic or platonic relationships?

As a reader? As a writer? I’d like platonic relationships that are treated as dramatically and seriously as romantic relationships, please. 

5. Which OC of yours would you get along with best?

Probably Ash or Max. Mads and I would both be too awkward to start a conversation, and Cy can be... abrasive. He’d snap at me and I’d die a little inside and nobody would be happy. 

I guess Paige and I could sit and be anxious at each other, since we have that in common, but I feel like we’d build on each other and reach Critical Anxiety and that can’t possibly end well.

6. Would you survive in your OCs’ world? Why or why not?

I mean, I do call it the magical murder forest; you have to be very skilled or very lucky to survive the Wanderwoods. If I’d been born and/or raised there, like Max, Ash, and Cy? I guess I might stand a chance. 

But if I just randomly appeared there one day, like Paige or Madelyn? Dead. Of thirst or claws or screaming toads, I don’t know, but I am definitely dead.  

7. What would you say is one of your “quirks” as a writer?

Idk? I like to play with words. Sometimes I bend over backwards to include puns in the narration, or internal rhymes, and phrase description for the way the words sound together. I use long or formal words conversationally, a little like I would in an academic paper.  

I also whisper-read things aloud when I’m proud of them. It makes me smile. 

8. Are there any writing “rules” that you break consistently? Ie commonly said rules that you just don’t follow?

If “do your research” is a rule then I’m totally breaking that. I have googled some survival stuff so my readers will hypothetically be able to run away and live in the forest, since I’d want an author I was reading to do the same for me. And I once found and watched a video about exploding toads to figure out what color to use when describing their guts. (I later deleted that section in favor of a less impale-y death scene.) 

But generally, my research process is... questionable. At best. 

9. What does “show don’t tell” mean to you?

It means just telling us something is so doesn’t necessarily convince your reader, because readers (me included) like to feel like detectives. When things are stated outright, but not backed up by the actions, dialogue, and other details in the story, it doesn’t feel believable. If all the signs are there, even when the text doesn’t explicitly say it, readers will jump to the obvious conclusion and actually believe it. (It was our brilliant deduction, after all.)

This also means you should try to trust your writing and readers enough to not state everything outright. Drop clues, not pronouncements--with the right hints, the readers can figure things out. 

10. Post a recent snippet of your writing. Do you like it?

Ish? I’m not sure yet. But I’ve posted a bit of this out of context before, so here’s a little context. 

“What are we looking at?” I asked, casting my eyes around the forest. Most of the mushrooms had retreated overnight, leaving the woods oddly bare—though Max seemed to appreciate the sparseness. Green and bluish moss, newly invigorated by the rain, was a patchy carpet amidst the dirt and branches. A fuzzy, long-haired variety clung to the tree bark; my fingers itched to touch it, but I didn’t deserve to pet the moss.

We’d been picking up edible roots, leaves, and fruits as we walked, dropping them in the collection sacks we wore on one shoulder. The pickings were scarce—lots of plant-eaters came out after a good rain, Max said—and after an hour of wandering we’d barely begun to fill the sacks. Our food-finding expedition was off to a rocky start.

Now Max had stopped where he stood, staring intently at what looked to me like an ordinary tree trunk, and I’d spoken up for the first time this trip.

He pointed to a something slimy smeared along the tree’s side. “A slug,” he said, by way of explanation. “We should find it.”

“Are you saying we’re going to eat a slug?”  

Max’s whole body shuddered. “Never say that again. Please. We’re going to take its food.”  

“Good.” I paused. “Poor slug.”          

“We won’t take it all,” he assured me.  

We began to follow the glistening trail, picking our way through fallen branches and skirting around the few remaining mushrooms. My sore feet protested, but I ignored them. I definitely deserved that.

After a while Max stopped and pointed, and all other thoughts flew out of my head.

The slug hallway up a tree before us dwarfed the trunk beneath it. It was longer than I was tall and whiskery around the front, with a few strange protrusions in addition to its two eyestalks. Its body was yellow, darker around its head and tail; I could see twigs, leaves, tiny mushrooms, and even a few smaller bugs floating inside its body through its translucent skin, as if they were suspended in gelatin.

“It picks up food as it crawls,” Max said, watching the creature with a grimace. “And twigs, and rocks, but sometimes rare plants. Lots of food. Most of it hasn’t been digested yet.”

“But how are we supposed to get to it?” I asked. I wasn’t eager to perform surgery on a giant mollusk; Paige was the future doctor, not me.

“The same way the food did. Its outside isn’t solid, exactly. One of us has to go up and… reach in.”

“With our hands?” The thing was so big, you’d have to be elbow-deep in slug before you got anything.              

“Yes.” His voice was grim.

We both contemplated the slug.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

for alphabet asks: STAGEDORKS

oh hell yeah….(thinks abt these bitches) wow i love Love…

S: What position do you sleep in? (NSFW) Favorite sex position? Favorite superhero(s)?

i try to sleep on my side usually but like, probably just on my back is more comfortable 

fuck if i know 

i’ve never been into superheroes but a zillion years ago when the first miles morales issues were coming out i bought like the first 7 and got a collection later and i coincidentally follow a nonzero number of superhero comics writing authors on twitter and i enjoy glimpses of riri williams content 

T: Are you good at tongue twisters? Did you believe in the Tooth Fairy? Tortillas or taco shells?

i’m neither that good or that bad at them 

i don’t especially remember tooth fairy times

hardshelled tacos all the way……

A: What is your alcoholic drink of choice? Favorite animal?

i don’t have any alcohol of choice b/c i don’t like alcohol so like, vodka + enough of some kind of fruit juice to make it endurable, and along that same line almost four yrs ago i had a couple mimosas and that was alright 

 i like Cats and i also like birds, especially in the corvids and parrots zone, and toucans, which aren’t parrots…i also had a long-running Cetaceans phase and i still like those like, orcas, manatees….glad to know the latter aren’t endangered anymore, my fifth grade teacher drew a manatee in pastels and gave it to me, thx ms. dennee

G: Favorite board game? Video game? Physical game?

i Enjoy scrabble and aggravation, which is this game w/ marbles which is like, 15% strategy and 85% luck so you can’t get too competitive 

 i haven’t played too many Video Games, especially not in recent years…i always enjoyed desktop games, like the point and click nancy drew games are my shit……later on like, portal 2 would be a great go-to game b/c usually i have a godawful hard time with Puzzles but the parameters of the puzzles in that game are so clear that i can actually enjoy it……i’m fond of amnesia tdd though i never finished it and the parameters of its puzzles are very much NOT clear. oh wait, then there’s all the shit we played via my brother’s Consoles Through The Years….the two of us taking a literal decade to beat donkey kong country….mario kart antics and driving the course backwards….we stan Galaga thanks to a namco collection and got to play it Arcade Style like a decade later at this convention lol….also on his ps4 we’d do Multiplayer stuff but really low stakes goofing around….ssbb but our real objective was just to desperately go after pokeballs and lose our shit if it was a meowth or invent really terrible maps named after pemberly (pemberdeath)….play uncharted and do terribly…….this lotr game he had was great too, like one map where we’d just ignore the Given Objective and get on horses and race around in a loop for like twenty minutes. that’s real gaming. 

 physical game idk lmao i never did Sports or anything……swinging on a swing. love that shit. kind of a Game ig. wait then would rollerskating be a game? BOWLING!!! i do love bowling and that’s definitely a game lmfaooooo

E: How do you like your eggs? Have any enemies?

i either fry them and put them on toast and then Burst The Yolk or i make an omellete, usually w/ cheese if i can manage it…..eggs benedict is so Fancy but delicious, but like yeah you have to make a whole hollandaise sauce so

i have my Haters List and people i think don’t deserve to be alive but i don’t like, have a mutual enemyship lmao

D: Favorite dinosaur? Donut topping? Dairy product?

i was a Big Into Dinosaurs kid…….s/o to the 3d dinosaur adventure computer game…..of course i liked raptors but my sister had velociraptors as her official fave so i was like, alright, dienonychus then. i also like ankylosaurs, and i think pachycephalosaurus is another Fave….a Probably-Herbivore with a raptorous build and headbutting like goats? good stuff. parasaurolophus is good too. just Being Loud and having a weird head

i like just frosting and sprinkles babey…..and just frosting is good too. like, chocolate’s classic….strawberry…….

ice creame…………………….

O: How do you eat Oreos?

voraciously, for starters. if i’m eating them Dry i will pull them apart, but i also do really like to dip them in milk.

R: Opinion on raisins? Random fact about yourself?

my raisins take hasn’t changed but another random fact about me hmm….i’m sure it’s not news to people since i mention it enough but i was a “really great at school in terms of getting good grades in everything, but also i largely hated school and always procrastinated hw and did bare minimum studying like, the morning of (or lunch before) any test and was the worst student by effort and Study Habits alone” and so i’m like oh Fuck yes re: solidarity and respect to all dropouts (fact within fact: the only academic accreditation i have is my SAT results i guess!), yet i also have That Much respect for people who Are good at school and put in that actual effort cuz i’m like god damn i could never do that

K: Who was the last person you kissed? (Platonically, romantically, however)

oh fun fact!!! i’m almost sure it was like, oh wait my god i was about to say 4-5 years ago but Actually it would’ve been….8? wait no. okay yes. so 7 years ago someone kissed me but that was a unilateral thing on their part so it doesn’t count. aaaand 8 or 9 years ago i kissed a friend on the cheek as PERFORMANCE ART!!!!! no lie this visiting artist (he was very nice and chill i liked him) came to our college and gave a talk and then there was this fun lil event in our Studio Art Space where people could write down ideas for vaguely creative things to do or make and then it was just a continuous cycle of putting your Suggestions into the box and drawing out other peoples, not even taking turns or anything you just went for it, and i got that prompt to kiss someone or whatever and one of a couple friends i had there was like, yeah that’s alright, i’ll take one for the Art team. platonic artistic and who could’ve known it was Prophetic as well?? stagedorks and winston billions energies

(S)

[nct-markeureee-blog]

g e t  to  k n o w  me tag

 asjkh tagged by @donghyuckstudies + @taebreez <3<3<3<3 ahh ily guys :3

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning, when you are finished you have to tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!!!

1) Are you named after someone? nopee

2) When is the last time you cried? i cried so much when nct had their first win --  but the last time i cried was an hour ago bc i studied so hard for a test and i did it today and it was hard and i feel like i failed and i probably did fail and the idea of failing just kills me so so much omg i cant ok bye

3) Do you like your handwriting? yeap my writing is pretty good to be honest! but sometimes when i take notes i just look at the board and write/copy at the same time and then i look at my writing after im done and its just .... ... hahahahahahaha

4) What is your favourite lunch to eat? S U S H I i love sushi so so much like adlkj i can eat this sole creation for the rest of my life

i also like tempura shrimp/veggieeess

5) Do you have kids? sorry i aint no Teen Mom ,., but i dont plan to be a mom ever so ye

6) If you were another person, would you be friends with you? ahh i think i would tbh i feel like im a really nice and caring and selfless and social person in my opinion and i think im just a good friend material ! at least i hope so ? lol

7) Do you use sarcasm? no omg i never use sarcasm and tbhhhh sometimes i get sad when people use mean sarcasm even tho the point of sarcasm is not to get mad/sad welppp

8) Do you still have your tonsils? ya lol are tonsils that bad to be a question idk

9) Would you bungee jump? ohmg yeeee i think i would be down and then 5 mins before i jump ill be like what kind of shit did i just get myself into 

10) What is your favourite kind of cereal? ahh i dont really eat cereal/oatmeal but i like cinnamon toast crunch or those cereals with clusters i despise fruit loops hmm what

11) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? my shoelaces are always untied lmao whoops

12) Do you think you’re a strong person? holy shit not even a million ‘no’s would be able to emphasize how un-strong of a person i am especially when it comes to grades

13) What is your favourite ice cream flavour? im not into ice cream(except for matcha ice cream) but i like fruit sorbets! 

14) What is the first thing you notice about people? facial features? and then probably their height

15) Red or pink? i dont like both ,, BUT MARK LIKES PINK SO PINK

16) What is the least favourite physical thing you like about yourself? my body/weight in general 

17) What colour pants and shoes are you wearing now? black ~shorts~(even tho its winter) and no shoes

18) What was the last thing you ate? the last legit thing was asian stir fry veggies but i just tried an “orange cream yogurt raisin” rn that tasted weird

19) What are you listening to right now? nothing but the last thing i did was Good Thing -  N  C  T. T T T T 

(whenever i feel sad though (like rn) i would listen to Tomorrow-BTS)

20) If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? yellow because like its all nice and bright and pretty and everyone uses yellow but then the second the yellow crayon touches/mixes with a darker colour the crayon gets ruined and no one wants to use the yellow crayon anymore ://

21) Favourite smell? juicy couture smells really goood and mens cologne asdjkf

22) Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? my friend she asked me to send her some notes for the TEST WHICH i failed

23) Favourite sport to watch? ahhhhhhhh i love soccer(fifa) and volleyball matches and then i loooveeee watching all the olympics sports collectively yeet

24) Hair colour? my natural hair colour is like a standard chestnut brown but i dyed it a golden brown-blonde but its been 6 months since i last redyed it and half my hair is brown again and idk whether ill switch to my natural hair colour or redye it

25) Eye colour?  chestnut

26) Do you wear contacts? i wear glasses(near-sighted) but my eyesight is good enough to see properly w/out glasses so contacts are unnecessary technically

27) Favourite food to eat? S U S H I. Sushi!

28) Scary movies or comedy? comedy hands down i love the feeling of laughing so hard that you’re just uncontrollably wheezing and hyperventilating asjkfs 

29) Last movie you watched? idek i dont watch movies but i watch NCT videos and kdramas

30) What colour of shirt are you wearing? im not wearing a shirt wearing a zip up fleece turtleneck sweater thats like an amalgamate of white, beige, dark green, brown, dark teal colours its rlly pretty and comfy 

31) Summer or winter? im a canadian so winter but last week i literally fell six times in a row from the snow/ice and i couldnt move and i got sick so winter rn ihy pls end rn

32) Hugs or kisses? im a 15 year old hormonal teenage girl so this question makes me hormonal i feel like i dont really see a difference i think that if the action is sincere and genuine i would enjoy/prefer both equally

33) What book are you currently reading? other than webtoons i never really read any books other than school textbooks(current one im reading is “Object Oriented Programming: an intro to java” or sm like that)

34) Who do you miss right now? i dont really miss anyone i think ppl enter and leave my life for a reason i just miss this person that i loved so much named Good GrADES ;-; yes i am still salty i will forever be salty

35) What is on your mouse pad? im on a laptop so uh ,,

36) What is the last TV program you watched? do kdramas count? The Shining Eun Soo(my first and fav >25 ep kdrama) 

NCT LIFE PLS I AM WAITING EVERYDAY

37) What is the best sound? MARK LEES LAUGH SMILE EXISTENCE i like the sound of good grades

38) Rolling Stone or the Beatles? i feel like this preference is worthless because i know neither and i only listen to kpop but i guess the beatles?

39) What is the furthest you have ever travelled? Egypt 

40) Do you have a special talent? after months of careful bs i have developed the skill of crafting excellent academic essays that require some sort of reading(novel, article, idk)  ...,,, without actually ,,reading

41) Where were you born? toronto, canada

42) People you expect to participate in this? “expect” UhM i tag everyone!

@nctgiri @taeiloves @why-jaehyun @jaehyyunn @jenowhat @1aeil MY GOOD CHINGUS sorry if you’ve already been tagged lmao 

[smireyac]

yea boi u already kno what it issssss 🍾🎆🎉🍾🎆🎉

hey so i started writing this at 8 o’ clock so i would be ahead of the game and actually have more than an hour to write but HEY its already 20 after midnight so who the eff care amiright ladies

WOOOOO 🍾🍾🎆 🎉 🎆 🍾 🎉 🎉 🍾 🍾 🍾 🎆🎆 🎆 🎉 🎆 🎉🍾 🎉 🍾🎆 🎉

so.................... its 2019.....................

i watched vox’s “2018 in 5 minutes” video and cried so thats how this year has been :^) a lot of lows......... we always think we leave the shittiest year behind then lo.............. the next year rears its ugly head and we never learn............ despite this, im gonna try to keep a positive outlook on the new year......... its literally just another day and i have to be in at work @ 9 tmrw but its what ever im already super fucking tired whats losing another hour of sleep anywahy?? its practically expected of me any way what with being a youth,,, ANYWAY i spent my time ringing in the new year watching spiderman homecoming so i think that wa sGREAt its also great  that im gonna get to see spiderverse AGAIN tmrw after work so SUCK ON THAT im ringing in the new year RIGHT!! its a very spidey new year and i wouldnt have it any other way heh.....

alright

so its time.... to reflect...........

and actually reflect this time last year was weak sauce compared to the first year “im too unfocused right now happy new year or whatever” *scoffs* what r u too good for self reflecting now a days huhh

been doing a lot of self reflecting this year,,,,,, but today we will look back on how the previous years have gotten me to where i am today...

if 2016 was the year of change and 2017 was the year of getting used to things.............. 2018 felt like............ the year of getting TOO used to things, of not ENOUGH change............. like alright i scratched a few of the bigger things on my yearly “to do” list/resolutions, i. e. finally going back to school and getting a job at the library, but like.......... i definitly dont feel like i did enough........... my art game was SO WEAK and i feel like i wrote less than 10,000 words ALL YEAR (not counting my academic papers) i didnt really CREATE anything this i dont have ANYTHING significant to show for this year............and to get more negative i didnt even make any friends all year NONE FRIENDS im only *just* starting to get more friendly with people at the library thank GOD theyre nice and gave my shy ass a chance to open up but i still dont feel like ill make FRIEND friends theyre just work friends and u kno what thats making me so pissed bc its tricking my dumb ass into thinking i have a crush on someone at work aND that i want a *romantic* relationship with them!!! OUTRAGEOUS im so peeved.......................... i also still havent gotten behind a wheel but at this point im not sure if i will anytime soon bc im That Way..... grrrr im just mad thinking of all the things i didnt do so motherfucker i will make 2019 the year of DOING!!!! and i had so many resolutions last year i feel like the more i had the less i felt like i had to do them, like i was just saying all that to be like “oh wouldnt it be nice if any of these things happened lmao” so yeah 2019: the year of DOING... and since ive kinda sorta figured out that writing is my thang.... i think i wanna focus on doing that.. and anything that will help me do it

SO: #GOALS for 2K19

-WRITE AT LEAST 50.000 WORDS U COWARD, more than just “brainstorming” too bc thats like a cop out, write like stories or dialogue or scenes or scripts or WHATEVER just make it to 50,000 pls some people do that in like a month

-READ UR GOD DAMN BOOKS, u *cant* buy anymore if u dont read the ones u’ve already bought,,,, im willing to make an acception re: checking things out from the library................ but u rlly shouldnt IT WOULD’VE BEEN SO EASY TO WIN THE BET DUDE srsly..... maybe .... an hour b4 bed ? try to read ? at least try to read once a week dude....

-heres a curve ball WATCH MORE MOVIES !!! u say u love film well fuckin act like u do...... u only went to the movie theater 5 times all year and three of those were all in the last month to go see spiderverse, more than that HOW MANY movies are there on netflix that u see and go “oh i should watch that finally” or “people say thats rlly good bro” and u scroll right past to watch the same 3 fuckin movies i s2g

-oh yeah back to the writing thing, to reach that 50,000 goal u should write about what you read and watch, there u’ll prob meet the goal b4 summer if u do that bro but....u actually gotta do it....................

ok those r the 4 im REALLY gonna work on and try to keep track of in either of the journals sien got me :^) these next few i rlly want to happen but..... we’ll see

-make some friends pls.... pls be more friendly......... ENGAGE  people when u have the opportunity askQUESTIONS about them like if they have a dog or a hobbie jesus h christ

-go out..... on ur own..... do stuff............by urself if u have to... go to the movies by urself go to a park, walk around down town for the fuck of it idk DO STUFF

-finish something............ for once in ur miserable life...................................... finish the vlog or the scrapbook..... or the reading list or this set of goals PLEAsE ANYTHING

im not even gonna put draw/art blog related stuff on here bc........ its not what i want........ like i love drawing and i dont think im terrible at it, im at a good place with it but i dont wanna put my energy this year into drawing stuff for the sake of me being able to say “i did it” like...... last yr and the yr b4 i rlly RLLY wanted to get better at art to idk prove that i could?? but like i havent picked up my drawing tablet in months ... that makes me really sad but i dont really feel like picking it up either? ? i said i wanted to take a painting/color theory/ life drawing class maybe i will this yr and it’ll reinvigorate my love of drawing........ tbh spiderverse got me *this close* to being pumped about art and animation and like yeah i still am, i love the medium and its still a dream of mine to be apart of it but it feels like a pipe dream if i try to go thru the art angle........ so many people r better than me at that and its not really what i wanna do,,, i wanna CREATE STORIES and worlds and characters and like i used my art to help *me* develop those but... i dont wanna use my art to do it for someone else i guess............. the art of animation itself still facsinates me so they door isnt close yet but,,, i wanna focus on the other aspect of myself that im more and at the same time LESS confident about lmao WRITING like alright,,, i think im a good writer .... sorta ? like yeah people tell me i am and sometimes when i look back on things ive written im like “dAMN i wrote this ???” but like,,,, there are some things to writing that still. escape me... like poetry.... and a lot of other aspects to it that i cant describe write now bc it would take too long and im getting cold and tired SO YEAH hopefully this english class will help me, even tho its just writting for college essays, i need to start somewhere and if shes rlly as good of a professor as rate my professor says then ill learn smthg new

where was i

well the year wasnt ALL bad, like i said i got the job at the library i wanted and FINALLY got to go to school, stressful as that mightve been........ and i got to see my love, my darling, the light of my life rhys again for one glorious week,, hopefully ill be able to see more of my friends this year? either in miami or milwuakee idc which MAYBE BOTH lmao im not that rich but hey i can dream,,,

alright its 1:12am i think im ready to sign off,,,,,,,,, here’s to DOING in 2019

🥂 cheers