#idk i guess i could just block grace's name

[im-not-a-l0ser]

Attention Max x Grace x Richie shippers!

Can you stop tagging michie in your posts about them? Please. Or come up with an actual ship name so I can block it? If you do that, just let me know what it is. Reblog or comment with it or smth.

I'm not gonna like... argue against the ship's existence; I don't get any ship with Grace in it, but I'm not gonna try and get people to agree with me. But like... it's not a michie thing, it's a uh Macie thing or whatever.

[cdroloisms]

Hello, idk if you’ll see this, nor do you have to take this request. But I’ve been thinking, and thought up: Dream joined the egg, but not because it offered him world domination or a happy family or any of that; no it offered to treat him kindly, to be affectionate, to be a friend, basically offering him human decency. (With an add on of everyone believing it was for some big reason, but the actual reason gets revealed somehow) if that made any sense. (Idk if this counts as an au or not)

[ask: if dream showed up to the red banquet, that would be very sexy of the writers to make him join the eggpire instead of the pro-omlette]

hehe egg!dream has so much potential ,, this is a ficlet i’ve been working on for a while (writer’s block my detested) but i finally finished it up !! it’s a bit unpolished but oh well - they cant all be winners lmao 

tw: body horror, blood, injuries, implied torture/abuse, starvation, possession, dark/disturbing imagery, dark content, pandora’s vault/prison arc 

Dream gets corrupted by the Egg, because of course he does.

Sapnap trudges through the vine-filled hallway, his face bundled firmly with a holy-water soaked bandana to keep out the worst of the spores. It’s a shoddy defense, but he doesn’t plan to stay long; he’s only been sent on reconnaissance, to see what public enemy number one is planning and get out as quickly as he can. As much as the entire server wants Dream dead, trying to defeat the man the first time was enough of a feat, never mind with the power of a giant demon egg on his side - to try and fight him now would be practically impossible.

The floor squishes underneath his boots, and his lips curl in disgust; the vines are thick and moist and feel ugly and rotten to the core. He can’t imagine anyone being anything but repulsed by the things, but he guesses it makes sense for Dream to be drawn here - corruption attracts corruption, it seems. It only figures that Dream would be desperate enough for power to let himself get possessed by the living - if you could really call it living - embodiment of decay and deterioration itself. The feeling of the floor giving way underneath his footsteps has another wave of revulsion crawling up his throat, though he’s not sure if it’s directed towards the Egg or his former friend or both.

He reaches the end of the hallway, an itching, pulsing feeling of wrong filling the air in the room just beyond the haphazard archway carved into the stone. With careful hands, Sapnap draws the bandana further up his face, making sure that it is tied securely behind his head - just beyond this wall lies the belly of the beast, the heart of the rot slowly but surely spreading its influence over the entire server. Something hums in the air; whispering, otherworldly sounds pierce through his armor and settle beneath his skin; he pushes on. He knows better than to listen, to try and make sense of the words within the noise - from what he’s heard, by the time you understand what it is saying, it’s too late.

He steps inside; the room feels, for the lack of a better word, red. He’s better suited for the place than most, being a Netherborn and therefore more used to the oppressive heat and heaviness of the air, but there’s something undeniably wrong about how this place feels, something entirely Other having made its home in the room. Every inch of the place feels hostile, angry, hungry, recognizing him as someone foreign and wanting nothing more than his destruction. Unlike the Red Forests, which teemed with life - piglins and hoglins and giant fungus - this room is little more than a twisted mimicry, sucking the air dry, leaving little more than husks behind.

His hand immediately goes to his sword, drawing it with a dull, metallic scrape. The room is eerily silent save for the Egg’s hissing whispers, and he frowns; he’d expected an attack, but the room is still, quiet; a mockery of peace that only makes the uneasy feeling in his gut grow further. He trudges forward, watching against the puddles of lava and smoking magma scattered over the floor, but nothing stirs.

There’s a growing pressure against his skull with each step into the room, and his hand tightens on his communicator; they’d set up a stasis chamber, just in case things went south, his way out of this place only a few button presses away. Still, nothing moves; no Bad or Ant popping out of nowhere, weapons in hand, no Dream driving an axe between his shoulder blades as he’s done so many times before in their spars. There’s only the sound of his footsteps against the rotting growths on the floor and his own heartbeat thudding in his ears and the Egg’s warbling voice, beneath it all - beckoning, almost kind.

He swallows, throat dry, and moves forward.

His feet carry him to the back corner of the room, to the rotting, pulsing core of the wrongness plaguing the entire server. Even through his bandana, the air feels foreign, nearly choking him, and he strains his eyes against the glare of the lava to look up at the vines’ rancid heart, the Egg. Up close, it’s almost underwhelming, only about three times his height, hardly coming halfway up to the ceiling of the room. What it doesn’t have in size, however, it makes up in sheer presence; the hissing whispers in his head grow louder, crawling under his skin and between his bones, and he curses under his breath as he prepares to call for his way back. Dream isn’t here; the mission is a bust.

“Sapnap?”

He freezes.

It takes a moment to realize that the voice wasn’t in his head, as raspy and unsettling as it was, and his eyes traced the edges of the Egg to a dull colored shape at its side, completely overlooked in his initial sweep of the room. He watches, a dull horror rising in his chest, as the shape moves, twists around on itself in an entirely unnatural way like a marionette pulled by its strings. A pale dot rises from where it had been hidden against the bright red of the Egg; it’s a face, Dream’s face, covered in clawing vines, stark against the bone-white of his sun-starved skin, vomit racing up his throat at the sight of the vines having made their homes in jagged wounds all over his face and neck and disappearing into the torn scraps of his prison uniform, each one spilling crimson in the form of writhing vines and thorns instead of blood.

“Sapnap,” Dream says again, his mouth moving with the words but something entirely other having made its home in the air of his lungs, a shivering rasp to his voice that lifts and falls with the same desperate hunger that saturates every tainted inch of the room. His neck tips to the side, shifted over by a twisting vine tangled within his hair and wrapping a crown of blood-red thorns over his forehead, tendrils drooping over his face and framing the gaunt edges. “You came.”

“Dream-” the anger comes back, familiar, at the other’s words - the same red-hot rage that had boiled within him in that first and only prison visit (you took so long) but it dissipates as fast as it comes. Dream - if this remnant, this shade, this corrupted, mangled half that seems more corruption than human can even be called the name of one he had once considered his best friend, his brother - stumbles closer, held up by the vines that twist over his shaking legs, one having the pale, ragged edge of a bone clearly having ripped through skin - and Sapnap does throw up, this time, dragging the bandana from his face and heaving bile all over the floor.

“What happened-” he cries, flames licking up his arms in defense when his friend-turned-monster-turned-this steps closer on a wreck of a leg that should not be able to bear weight, stumbles back to a roaring in his ears-

He is mine he came broken came shattered and I gave him everything I gave him his heart’s desire I am his savior his grace he asked for warmth and he asked for comfort and he asked for nothing but for someone to take his pain and he is mine he is mine he is mine

He freezes, hand tightening over his communicator; Dream stares at him with the one dull-green eye not covered by the vines splayed over his too-pale face, mouth moving but no sound coming out. The roaring, angry sound in Sapnap’s ears grows louder, follows the shape of Dream’s lips come join your friend come with me I will give him to you you have failed him once but not again not again he is mine but you can be mine also and you will be together together together

“-pnap! Sapnap!” Puffy’s words crackle over the communicator, harsh and loud and snapping him out of his thoughts, “Pull the switch, Sam! No, he’s not responding- pull the switch-”

The world dips, and he heaves in a shattered breath, lungs finally full as he breathes in clear air for the first time in what feels like an eternity, hacking coughs pulled from his throat as he tears the bandana off in one sputtering gasp for breath.

“Sap- Sapnap,” Sam pitches his voice low, comforting, a hand rubbing up and down his back, but all Sapnap can see is the skeleton of a man held together by red thread, the life leached from his skin and leaving nothing left, he asked for nothing but for someone to take the pain and he is mine he is mine he is mine-

“Sapnap,” Puffy’s voice is tinny with concern, “What happened? You stopped responding and the time passed so we pulled the switch on the stasis chamber- are you alright? Did he attack you?”

“I-” -you have failed him once but not again not again you will be together- “I need a moment.”

He scrambles away, feet carrying him away from Church Prime, away from the Holy Land, away away away until he’s standing on the Community House roof, staring at his hands at this home, destroyed, this home, rebuilt, this home, empty and wrong and a shadow of house for a shadow of a man, a shadow of a friend found, a friend lost- and sobs.

What had he done?

[spinster-sisters]

Crush. PSH, JYN

TW: dom! Seonghwa, sub! Yunho, sub! Reader,threesome, exhibitionism, degradation (use of the words slut and whore), bondage (male receiving), Sir kink, overstim (kinda, idk how much counts as overstim but im putting it here anyway), excessive use of the word wet, panty kink, buldging, k so heres the deal, in this thing yunho has a crush on both the reader and seonghwa and seongwha is probably also attracted to men based on the way i wrote this but there is no actually mxm interaction PHYSICALLY, also fun fact at no point anywhere in this is there the letters Y/N cuz i have decided i hate that shit and istead u get excessive pet names.

WC: 4k

AN: this is 4k words of pure smut, like plot if you SQUINT right at the begnining but even that is pretty smutty. ngl its prettyy shit. im sorry lol. also this isnt specifically idolverse or nah, it could kinda go either way so thats that i guess.

Yunho had always had a crush on you, that much everyone knew, but when you and seonghwa began dating Yunho had decided to put his own feelings aside out of respect for both you and seonghwa. Maybe it worked for a while, a few months of being genuinely happy for his two friends finding love. Yeah, it was hard seeing one of his best friends get to touch you and talk to you in the way he wanted to, but the smiles that never left either of your faces were well worth it.

But then that night came.

He hadn't meant to see it. All of your friends had gone out to a crowded club, there was dancing and a lot of drinking. But with all the chaos of the night, nobody noticed when you and seonghwa slipped into the bathroom. A while later Yunho found himself needing to pee and made his way to the back of the club as well, but when he pushed open the door all thoughts of his original plans had left. There you were, spread out on the counter, chest heaving, tiny drops of sweat making their way down your neck. And there was seonghwa, standing between your legs slamming his hips into yours and a brutal pace, absolutely RUINING you. His back was to the door and your eyes were screwed shut, Yunho had only opened the door just far enough to see in so neither of the two of you had noticed him yet.

Yunho's first reaction was to close the door and pretend he hadn't seen anything, but he couldn't move, not once he heard the filth spewing seonghwas lips.

"My baby girl got so needy she needed me to fuck her with all of her friends around? What a little slut"

That was the first thing Yunho heard, and then whine that the words pulled out of you was damn near-pornographic, and it went straight to his dick. He only stood there for a few more moments before closing the door, but the damage had been done.

Did you guys fuck like this all the time? It felt so wrong, the perfect lovey-dovey couple Yunho had come to know were hiding such a dirty side to themselves.

Ever since that night, nothing has been the same. Yunho's thoughts of you turned more and more sinful than they had ever been, but there was something else. At first, Yunho thought it had just been the embarrassment of seeing such a private moment, but Yunho was now having the same amount of trouble meeting Seonghwas eyes as yours. Every time Yunho's mind drifted back to that moment Seonghwas figure was just as clear as yours, and although he didn't want to admit it, it was seonghwas words in the bathroom that made Yunho hard.

And that is how Yunho had come to discover that he had a crush and not one, but both of you. And almost every time Yunho took time to relive himself all he could image was seonghwas sharp and defined features manipulating your soft and supple ones into increasingly compromising positions, his calm voice eliciting those same desperate whines from you.

He knew this was fucked.

Yunho doesn't know at what point seonghwa became aware of his infatuation with himself and his girlfriend, maybe he had noticed him in the bathroom and chosen not to say anything, maybe mingi had told him one night in a slip of the tongue, maybe Yunho had told seonghwa himself while drunk. Either way, it all lead him to this moment. He was sitting in your bedroom with his back pressed into a wooden chair with seonghwa standing behind him binding his wrist together with a soft scarf you had lying around.

You sat on your bed observing the scene. This had all been seonghwa's idea, but you were more than willing. That being said watching your perfectly composed boyfriend secure the taller boy who had been stripped down to his boxers to a chair facing your bed was enough to have your face burning in the chilly room.

Seonghwa finished with the restraint and made his way in front of Yunho, who was already damn near star-eyed. Seonghwa reached out and clenched the man's jaw, forcing his eyes up to meet his own.

"Remember Yunho, you are here to watch. Not to touch. No matter how much you want to," seonghwa spoke in that calm domineering voice he reserved for moments like these. Yunho nodded eagerly as well as he could while his face was still in seonghwas grasp, his cheeks puffing out a little at the pressure.

Seonghwa let go of his face and ran his hand once through the younger boys' hair approvingly before both of their gazes fell on you.

You had been waiting patiently in the sweetest little lingerie set you could find. Seonghwa was still fully clothed, but he had a thing about having you look as pretty as possible before fucking you so hard you cried. With both of their attention now firmly on you, the cold of the room couldn't seem any further away, and with every step, seonghwa made twords you, you couldn't help but clench your thighs together in anticipation.

Finally, he stood before you, looking so beautiful it was unfair, close enough you could reach out and touch him. But you didn't, you knew better.

Seonghwa gave a wicked smirk at your sweet expectant face. The stage was finally set, and it was time for the show. He looked contemplative for a moment, before deciding on his first move.

"Lay back for me, baby"

You did exactly that, allowing your head to hit the soft blankets. Never breaking eye contact, however hard it was as your boyfriend looked ready to absolutely devour you. Careful not to block anything from Yunho's view seonghwa slowly climbed onto the bed on top of you using his hips to keep your legs in place and his arms coming down to cage your top half. He moved his head to your ear and spoke in his smoothest softest voice.

"Remember to be good sweetheart, we have a guest and I don't want to waste time punishing you tonight."

You whimper out a quiet "ok" before seonghwa placed a soft kiss on your temple. And he didn't stop there, your boyfriend only pulled back for a brief moment to observe your flushed face before diving back in.

Seonghwa was organized and neat in most aspects of life, but kissing was not one of them. His kisses are hard and wet. His exceptionally plump lips forced yours to follow his lead, prying your mouth open, nipping, and sucking at anything he could. Wet was the perfect word to describe it. Wet and amazing. Normally you would have waited for permission to touch him before swinging your arms around his neck pulling him closer but when his tongue found its way into your mouth toying with your own you needed someone to ground yourself.

To your surprise seonghwa had no objection to this instead threading his left hand through your hair pulling your head close as well, letting out a deep grunt in the process. His lips began to travel down to your neck and jaw, and now the sloppiness turned a little rougher. Seonghwa took a small break to speak, barely lifting his lips off your body but his voice still carried loud and clear.

" Don't hold back your sweet little cries, I'm sure Yunho would love to hear them"

Your mouth now free to cry out little by little at the way the cold air made contact with your now burning skin every time he moved. He was covering your skin in small red patches that would surely turn dark purple by tomorrow. You braced yourself on his shoulders when his lips came to rest of the swell of your chest. Seonghwas right had found its way under your knee lifting it a bit and caressing the underside of your thigh. You had finally become used to the sensation of his mouth on your body when he bit down. Hard.

You damn near choked. You threw your head back as a deep whine spilled sinfully out of you much louder than you intended. But it wasn't just you that was making noises, a deep guttural groan could be heard in harmony with your own from across the room. It was only then did you finally dare to turn your head to where Yunho sat. And you almost wished you didn't. The tall boy sat as hunched over as he could be, positively panting with desire his eyes staring, unblinking, and where you and your boyfriend were tangled together. Your eyes locked, Yunho was staring at you with so much hunger your heat throbbed, and your thighs clenched together. Seonghwas words cut through the tension bringing your attention back to him.

"My baby is so eager, looking so pretty as wrapped up for me. Just waiting for me to pull her apart."

You instinctively nodded.

"Yes, please. I'll be good I promise" you pleaded vacantly, still gripping your boyfriend for support. Seonghwas's right hand began to slide its way up the underside of your leg before moving around till he was palming the inside your leg.

"I know darling, I know you will"

A knowing smile graced his lips before he unhooked the clasp on your pretty bra, sliding it down your shoulders. You held your breath as he pulled himself back to sit on his heels still caressing your leg dangerously close to where you were currently making a mess of your nicest panties.

Seonghwa would never admit that he had a panty kink, but seeing you laid out for him in nothing but the thin little soaked scrap of fabric was scratching an itch that he didn't even know he had. He just had to take a moment to appreciate it.

Seonghwa turned his head twords Yunho. And speaking in that same clear strong voice.

"Yunho"

The boys eyed shaped up to meet seonghwas. Yunho, aside for the occasional moan or groan and been relatively silent up until that point. He looks at seonghwa expectantly. Your boyfriend sighed. Shaking his head for a moment.

"Yunho, when I talk to you I expect words." As he spoke seonghwa tightened his grip on your thigh, you let out a tiny moan. Yunho's eyes flashed to your thigh for a moment before realizing his distraction then flying back to seonghwas face. It was like he couldn't get the word out fast enough.

"Yes?" The word tumbled from his lips haphazardly.

"Yes, what?" Your boyfriend responded, clearly unamused, a scowl making its way onto his face.

Yunho visibly panicked, eyes darting around the room quickly. He didn't know what he missed. He looked at you for help. You knew what he missed, but you had no way of telling him.

"Umm," he began, still searching for the answer. Just when seonghwa looked like he was about to cut in a look of realization hit Yunho. He remembered the night not too long ago that he had come home from dinner, expecting the house to be quiet only to hear a specific word scream from your lips as he passed seonghwas room.

"Yes, sir?" Yunho asked, his eyes wide and pleading.

Seonghwa couldn't help his look of satisfaction.

"Good boy,"

The words made Yunho's face light up.

"Now Yunho, what would you like to see?" Your boyfriend asked. This question clearly took Yunho by surprise.

"Come on, I know you have been imagining me and my doll doing all kinds of things," as he spoke his hand finally slipped inside your panties. Two cold fingers sliding between your folds. You shudder out a gasp. You were wet, unbelievably so. It took so little for his fingers to slip through your slick, toying with you like he had done so many times before.

Yunho momentarily lost his focus on seonghwa instead looking at the imprint of his hand through the fabric. He looked starved. But his eyes returned to seonghwa once again.

"So, what is it. What was your favorite thing to imagine when you touch yourself." As he spoke his fingers began to make slow tight circles to your clit. You moaned out again and grasped wildly for a moment to ground yourself against the blankets.

Yunho once again looked at a loss for words, this time unable to peel his eyes away from the dark stain in your panties and the forearm connected to the hand in them.

Yunho licked his lips slowly before tearing his eyes away to look at seonghwa. He spoke slowly, his words were shaky but certain.

"Please, just fuck her. Hard, like you, always do." He looks embarrassed by his choice, but your heart leaped at the idea, you wanted seonghwa inside you right at that very moment. He was slowly working you into an orgasm and he had barely even done anything yet.

"Really? Is that all you want?" Your boyfriend asked. "No special requests?" The circles on your bud speed slightly as he spoke. Your legs began twitching with every stroke. You had been so wound up this whole time that along with every jerk a small whine was seeping past your lips.

"Please, just," Yunho took a moment to gather his thoughts " please, I just want to see what you both look like when you ruin her."

Seonghwa looked at the boy pensively for a moment.

"Ruin her?" Your boyfriends intense gazed finally made its way back to you "that I can do" and almost exactly as his sentence finished your first wave of orgasm crashed over you. You were now spilling whines freely and rocking your hips into your boyfriend's large hands. You closed your eyes tight for a few moments. Before thinking about the exchange that just took place. Ruin you? Seonghwa was a serious man when he wanted to be, and if he promised to ruin you, you knew he would. And honestly, it was a little scary.

Finally, you opened your eyes. Your boyfriend had been watching you through your high, not stopping his hand and now that you were coming down a dull pain replaced began to radiate up from your core. You reached down to grab his wrist

"Wait. Please-" you began to plead, looking into your boyfriend's eyes, but your words were cut off.

"Well, Yunho. If I'm going to ruin her I'm going to have to prepare her. Wouldn't want her to break" you whined at his words as his hand began to speed up once again over your extra sensitive nub. He then glanced over at the boy who seemed just as transfixed by your pleasure-filled face as seonghwa. "unless you want that"

"Please," was all Yunho could force out "I just want to see"

Seonghwa finally pulled his hand out from the ruined fabric. Despite the numbing pain that came from his handy work you were already missing the sensation and your hand on his wrist tightened again.

Seonghwa let out a sigh.

"Sweetheart, how am I supposed to let Yunho see what I can do to you if you still have these panties on," he asked in a disappointed tone. You reluctantly released his wrist.

Seonghwa finally found the time to pull his sweater over his head, tousling his hair in the process. Now it was both you and Yunho gawked. It was something both you and Yunho had seen a thousand times, but there was still something awe-inspiring about the way he looked kneeling over you with his bare golden honey skin on display.

If seonghwa noticed the stares he didn't address them as he moved to pull your ruined panties down your legs. The anticipation was clear on Yunho's face as the wet fabric slowly made its way down your legs. Finally, he pulled them off the tip of your toes. Because of you and seonghwas position, Yunho still couldn't see your heat. To your surprise, seonghwa stood up quickly from the bed. Your panties still between his fingers. He looked at Yunho.

"You want them?" He asked letting them dangle from his hand that was still glistening with your juices. Yunho choked out a "yes, sir"

Satisfied with his answer seonghwa walked over to the man, leaned over him, and slipped the fabric into his bound hands.

Your boyfriend then returned to you on the bed, but instead of climbing on top of you, he sat down beside you.

"Open up baby"

It may be a bit late in the game, but you were finally coming to terms with what is happening. Yunho, one of your closest friends is about to watch you get fucked by your boyfriend, you had to look away from the man at the sudden realization. Slowly, you opened your legs and you heard the sharp intake of breath that could only be from Yunho.

"What do you think?" Your boyfriend asked pulling your legs apart even more. You shut your eyes tight, feeling embarrassed.

"It's pretty" was all Yunho could Say. You flushed even deeper.

"I know, isn't it? My baby has such a pretty pussy" you choked.

"Open your eyes sweetheart, I want to look at you"

Slowly you opened them, still keeping your gaze firmly on your boyfriend's face.

"No need to be embarrassed sweetheart. You look so cute" seonghwa said in a coo.

Seonghwas hand slipped further between your legs, spreading you open for Yunho to see. You couldn't help but sneak a glance at the man. He was almost drooling, as he licked his lips.

"She tastes amazing," seonghwa says dipping a finger into your still sensitive heat. You felt yourself twitch.

"Normally I would spend hours eating her sweet little cunt, but that wasn't what you wanted to see" seonghwa spoke with false regret. Honestly, Yunho looked right now like there was nothing else in the world he would rather witness but everyone knew he had already made his choice.

Your boyfriend finally decided to push 2 fingers into you all at once. You whined out at the sudden intrusion.

"I have to get her ready first, I hope you don't mind" seonghwa spoke with a chuckle. Because no, with a view like that how could Yunho mind watching your boyfriend's two long fingers push in and out of you over and over again each time bringing a little more wetness out of you.

At this point you were gone, the pleasant stretched of the familiar fingers moving inside of you was like a mantra pulling small noises from you like a song. Seonghwa was brushing the inside of your walls oh so perfect if was unfair.

"She is always so wet, pulsing around my finger with so little work. What a little slut." Your eyes shot open with a moan at his words. His pace quickened. With your still heightened sensitivity, you already felt your stomach tighten.

"Oh. Do you like that? Like it when I call you my slut?"

"Yes, sir"

"Do you like being a little whore for me?"

"Yes, sir"

"Do you want me to fuck you in front of our friend, just so he can see how much of a slut you are?" At that, you locked eyes with Yunho across the room.

"Yes please sir, please show him how much of a slut I am for you" Yunho lurched forward for the first time, his dick straining so hard against his boxers it must be painful.

Seonghwa leaned down to give you a quick kiss on the forehead,

"Good girl"

Finally, seonghwa focused all his energy on bringing on your next orgasm. Pressing deliciously against that special spot inside you while his thumb returned to your pulsing clit. You were already so far gone that it only took a few more direct strokes for you to come tumbling down once again.

This one lasted much longer than the first. And once again seonghwa prolonged it as long as possible by not stopping his hand once throughout the whole time. The pleasure came on waves, washing over you with so much intensity it was all you could do to keep moaning so loud the neighbors could hear you.

Finally, when he pulled his fingers out you took a moment to catch your breath. But it wasn't long before it was stolen again by seonghwa sticking each finger in his mouth one at a time a sucking them clean, never once breaking eye contact with the boy in the chair.

"Hmm, sweet" was all he said, before standing from the bed once again and undoing his belt. Seonghwa pushed his hair back before undoing his jeans and pulling them down his legs. At last, he stood in nothing but his black boxers. If you weren't struggling so hard to keep your eyes open after your climax you would have ogled but Yunho's hungry eyes were wide and fixed on the impressive size of the tent in your boyfriend boxers. Seonghwa spared him a glace before chuckling.

Your boyfriend turned completely to Yunho and pulled down the boxers as well. You knew what was there, so you understand the feeling Yunho was having to lick his lips like that. Yunho's arms once again lurched forward.

"Remember, no touching" was all seonghwa said before turning back to you. He says down on the bed beside you once again

"Come sit on my lap baby,"

You almost groaned. You felt like you could barely move and you would much rather he take you just as you are, but you know better than to fight him.

Seonghwa positioned you both facing Yunho, so he could have the perfect view of you both.

You tried to keep your self as steady as possible as lined himself up under you. Your muscles protested as you held yourself up. Finally, seonghwa took hold of your hips and pushed you down onto him all at once. The two of you both let out a satisfied groan. Your pussy felt used and abused but at that moment all you could think about was how nice it felt to be full. Your head fell back onto your boyfriend's shoulder almost immediately.

"Awe, do I make you feel that good, baby? You like it when I fill you up that much?"

"Yes, sir, I love being full. Love it when you fill me up." Your words were slurred together but loud. Seonghwa, using his grip on your hips. Helped you lift yourself only to be pulled back down again.

"Holy fuck" Yunho spoke in a quiet tone, watching where your boyfriend's dick was now disappearing inside of you.

"Don't use that kind of language" seonghwa spat out while staring to set a fast and deliberate pace, his focus instead on fucking you to tears.

"I'm sorry sir, it's just-" he seemed to be at a loss for words. " I can see you in her tummy"

At that seonghwa chuckled again. He took your hand and lead it to the spot on your stomach you could feel him inside you.

"I know, my baby is such a slut she isn't satisfied until I fill her up this much."

All of these words were filtering in and out of your ears but all you could focus on was the feeling of seonghwas dick moving inside of you. You were so sensitive after two orgasms not so long ago that your body felt utterly spent but every single time seonghwa trusted up into you felt like you could cry at how good it felt. It hurt, yes it hurt, seonghwa was big, that's why he spent so much time working you up, but even with that, you could still feel him stretching out your wall in the most delicious way. Every time he pushed all the way into you could almost cry at the sensation, not to mention how he rubbed against every spot inside of you in the perfect way. You were a mess of whines and cries and tears.

"She's crying" Yunho spoke in a shaking voice.

Seonghwa brushed your hair away from your face, looking at the tears streaming on your face. Your boyfriend placed feather-light kisses against your cheeks where the tears streamed down. A stark contrast to the brutal pace he was drilling his hips into your cunt.

You were clenching madly against him and he couldn't help but chuckles, though it was now somewhat airy as he was nearing his own climax.

"You gonna come, baby?" He asked.

"Mmhmm" you whined, head still rolled back as he fucked into your relentlessly. You were so close, every time he pushed back into you you cried out wanting him to make you come so fucking bad.

Seonghwa took told of your chin with one hand and forced your head forward making you lock eyes with Yunho. He looks almost as fucked out as you probably did. Forehead sweating, chest heaving, dick twitching. The sight made you clenched down hard.

"Who knew my sweet little baby, want people to watch her get fucked like a whore." you clenching tears streaming down faster than ever. The hand not holding your chin found your clit and once again began rubbing slow but rough circles onto the bud. You were so full and so close, and knowing that Yunho was seeing you like this, looking him in the eye while seonghwa fucked you almost made you come.

"What do you think Yunho? Should I let my little slut come?" He asked pinching your bud and delivering a particularly hard thrust. You gagged on the drool spilling from your mouth.

" yes, please sir, please make her cum!: Yunho almost shouted, looking crazed.

"You heard him slut. Cum."

And that was all it took. You were shaking and writhing on top of your boyfriend, head and eyes rolled back and your eyes saw stars. Waves don't even being to describe the way pleasure was moving through your body.

"Sir, it feels so good" was all you could say between the cries, and yes you were crying for real now. Short of losing consciousness, you were gone to the world. Lost in the feeling.

It took you several minutes to realize that seonghwa was still fucking you. But once you did you jerked painfully.

"No, no please" fell past your dry lips. As you moved to sit up. But seonghwas had kept you in place.

"You're not going anywhere baby, I still haven't cum yet and I am going to right in your little pussy."

It hurt, and you were crying, but all you wanted to do was be a good girl for seonghwa so you stayed put, letting him use you. You looked up at Yunho, your eyes glossy, mouth hanging open, probably covered in bruises as you always were when seonghwa fucks you.

Yunho moaned out, straining against the fabric keeping him tied to the chair.

At that moment seonghwa finally came. You could hear his groan through his chest and feel the cum spilling into you. Nice and full.

With a few more thrust seonghwa finally stopped. Allowing you to rest a moment before pulling you off him. You collapsed into your blankets. Feeling moments away from sleep, but you kept your eyes open. Seonghwa took a moment before standing pulling up his own boxers before moving over to where Yunho sat panting. He looked down at the boy and laughed.

"You came untouched?"

"Yes sir"

[votederpycausemufins]

idk how to continue this one but i also don’t want to leave it just sitting forever so it may be a mess but i’m posting it anyway. think up your own endings or continue it or something.

it’s essentially a timeline divergence from War in Hermittown, so its again watcher!grian, avian!grian, hermit!tommy and triplet au.

hermit!tommy is from @petrichormeraki and this triplet au is mainly based on @strawberrylemonz ’s work.

For the first time since Tommy’s death, Tubbo finally had something to hope for. After some begging and pleading and proving he wasn’t going to do anything bad, Techno agreed to help the teen out with attempting to summon Tommy’s ghost.

Ghostbur was there as they worked as Tubbo thought having a ghost helping out would make things more likely to work. They set up a type of summoning platform, not quite sure how it would work and troubleshooting as they went. They all froze as Philza walked in, just coming to visit Techno. “What’s going on here?”

“Uh, we’re trying to summon Tommy’s ghost.” Tubbo answered feebly under Phil’s gaze.

He looked around at the mess they had made and the summoning platform they had created. “Really? Did you think this was going to work?” Philza asked, making Tubbo look away, feeling ashamed. “Obviously you need soul torches instead of regular ones. And the center should be cobble since it’s his favorite block.”

With the four of them working together, then managed to complete the platform and Tubbo activated it. The torches suddenly blazed taller, the blue flames nearly turning white. Energy filled the air and in the center of the platform, purple magic swirled until Tommy was there, curled up in a ball in the middle.

Before any of them could get out of the shock of Tommy being there, he shifted and grumbled. “Ugh… fucking put your wing back G. this place has no fucking insulation.” His hand blindly grabbed the air before he finally sat up. “Wait, what the fuck?”

Tubbo was the first to break the silence. “Tommy!”

Tommy looked over and his eyes lit up seeing his friend. “Tubbo?” He was hugged by his friend. “Where the hell are we?”

“We summoned you back! And I guess it went pretty well since it also brought you back to life.”

“Back to life? Tubbo I didn’t di- wait we?” Tommy pulled away from the hug and saw Ghostbur, Techno and Philza. “Oh. Tubbo, did you bring me back to the smp?” Tubbo nodded. “And do you have a way to send me back?”

“What? No! Why would you want to go back?”

“Tubbo, I didn’t die, I ran off. Some people found me and took me in. Fuck, when G realizes I’m missing things aren’t gonna go well.”

“Tommy.” Philza started to speak but Tommy stopped him.

“No, you don’t get it. If he realizes I’m gone, he might come here and overreact and might hurt you guys.”

Tommy watched as they all glanced at each other. “Tommy, what kind of person did you end up with?” It was Techno that spoke. And before Tommy could answer his oldest brother, more purple magic swirled, though not at the summoning platform. 

Tommy gave out a slight curse and Philza spread his damaged wings to protect Techno and Tubbo as someone appeared. Philza immediately recognized the signs of a Watcher, though the lack of a mask was different. “Tommy.”

“Heeeey Grian. Let me explain. No one’s at fault. I’m fine.”

“You disappeared.”

“Yep, just some people worried about me. Thought I was dead or something.”

Philza readied a weapon the moment the Watcher moved but wasn’t able to do more. Tommy was suddenly captured by the Watcher and he didn’t even try to escape which worried Phil even more.

“And you think I wouldn’t assume the same when you were suddenly gone?” The Watcher then looked down at the summoning platform and broke it. “Now let’s go home, ‘dad’ is going to be worried when he notices we’re both gone.”

“You’re not taking him anywhere Watcher.” Philza spoke, now ready to fight and not just protect. Techno also looked prepared for battle though his dad still tried to keep him back. “Tommy’s my son and he’s going to stay here.”

The Watcher looked over at Philza and the three behind him. They looked familiar. Possibly from the MCC tournaments. “Ah, so you’re the ones Tommy has mentioned. Well, even more of a reason to take him away.”

“Please, don’t take Tommy!” Tubbo managed to push past Philza. The hardcore player tried to stop them, but the teen managed to dodge his hands. “He’s my best friend. I don’t want to lose him again.”

The Watcher looked down at Tubbo, tilting his head slightly. “Tommy?”

“Yeah, he’s telling the truth. He’s big T.”

Philza managed to pull Tubbo back when he saw the Watcher’s eyes glint. “Don’t you dare try to take anyone else. I know what you Watchers do.”

The Watcher frowned. “I don’t think you do. Or you do and you deserve what’s happening to you. Based on the horror stories Tommy has told, I think it’s the latter.” Tommy tried to complain about what the Watcher said but was shushed. “Now, we can always change things, but it looks like Tubbo should be coming with me. You’ve lost your rights to children.”

Philza could do nothing as magic pulled Tubbo next to the Watcher. But he was still able to attack. It was timed just right and as the Watcher tried to leave, he was right there and it pulled him along.

Techno tried to follow along but was too late and just stood where the four now missing people had just been.

When they arrived on the other side, Grian was the only one with a graceful landing. Tommy did okay, but wasn’t used to it. Tubbo and Philza ended up completely face planting on the ground though.

“I didn’t mean to bring you along.” Grian addressed Philza. “I’ll have to take you back before-“ his communicator started ringing. “Nevermind. Hiiii X. No everything’s fine. Tommy just got vaguely kidnapped back to his old world. Yeah. Well I brought a friend of Tommy’s with me. Well they just managed to come along. Yes of course I’ll take him back. Xisuma are you actually asking me to abuse my Watcher powers?”

Before Grian could say anything more, Philza grabbed onto Tommy and Tubbo and started pulling them into the nearby jungle. He gave a shout and started to run after them, but was distracted by the call he was on and was easily tripped up.

“Phil Phil Phil Phil Phil!” Tommy repeated as he tried to pull away. “Phil c’mon we can’t just wander through the jungle! I’m sure if you just talk with Grian he won’t take you back, though X might need convincing.”

“No Tommy. That’s a Watcher. I don’t know how much it’s told you, but they’re dangerous and-”

Tommy dug his heels into the ground. “Dangerous? What? No Grian is, well he’s maybe a bit more dangerous because he’s a Watcher but he’s a pretty chill dude. He doesn’t really use his powers or anything even though he probably could.”

“And what about the other Watcher? You said it was named X?” Philza managed to tug Tommy along a bit further.

“X isn’t a Watcher, he’s an admin. Grian’s the only- look can we just go back and explain it when we’re not running?!” This time Tommy stopped harshly enough and pulled back enough that the avian lost his grip and Tommy was able to get away. He started back towards where they had come from, causing Tubbo to also pull away from Philza.

Phil attempted to grab Tubbo, but he was already running off. He tried to follow along, but ended up moving too fast and tangling himself up in vines. By the time he was free, neither of the teens were anywhere in sight and the hardcore player had to wander aimlessly in the jungle.

He was in a place with absolutely no landmarks and at this point Philza was sure he was just going in circles. The place also had enough shade that some mobs spawned, and dealing with them made him feel even more lost as the small fights left him turned around. Finally, he started going perfectly straight, ignoring any mob he saw and mining away anything in his way. There was no way he could get lost doing that.

It worked perfectly until he broke through a hill instead of going over it. Phil mined right into a cave and there was the surprised shriek of someone who seemed to be hiding there. The hardcore player’s eyes met with the screen of a computer monitor, a face displayed on it. Before he could really react to that, it moved away, making him notice it was attached to a body. It turned a corner and there was the sound of it colliding with something out of Phil’s view.

“What’s going on?”

“Someone broke in!”

Philza paused at the young voices. The first sounded like they could be around Tommy or Tubbo’s age, but the second one sounded much younger.

“Who was it? Scar? If so he probably just crashed a few too many times and needs a place to rest.”

“No! That’s the problem! I don’t know who it is!”

Philza paused, having been slowly approaching the voices. He reached the corner but didn’t look around it just yet. “Then perhaps they are dressed up. I’m sure there is a reasonable ex-” they stopped speaking as they turned the corner and saw Philza. Phil blinked upon seeing another screen faced being and it responded similarly. “Oh, I see. This really is someone new.”

The first one came around the corner and immediately clung to the second. “Who are you!” It spoke, seeming much more confident while next to its larger twin.

Philza stared at the two of them, thoughts about why they were here, what they were and what they knew ran through his head. But he did eventually answer them. “My name is Philza. What about you two?”

“My name is Grumbot and this is Jrumbot.” The taller- by their names Phil assumed they were robots -spoke. “May I ask what you are doing in here now?”

“Well, got a bit lost. Me and my family were kidnapped and brought here and I’m trying to find them again so we can go home.”

“Kidnapped?” The smaller robot asked before he lit up with an idea. “Evil X! He probably did it!”

The hardcore player gave a small sigh of relief. It seemed these two were against the Watchers in this world. “Yeah, I remember that name. Now we got split up in this jungle. There were three of us. Tommy ran off first and Tubbo went after him.”

“Wait, Tommy and Tubbee?” Jrumbot asked, now looking very confused. “But Tubbee’s here and Tommy’s with dad.”

Before Phil could ask more questions, Grumbot made a sound akin to clearing his throat. “Jrumbot, a diamond if you would? It should help us.” the hardcore player watches as a diamond was handed to the taller robot and he placed it into a slot on his monitor. “I see. You are Philza, a former king and father to a total of four sons, adopted a fifth, and have three grandsons.”

“I- wait three? Wait no how do you know this?” Philza asked, stunned, but he got no answer as Grumbot turned to Jrumbot.

“Can you call dad? I’m sure this is much more important than whatever he’s doing.”

Jrumbot nodded and pulled out a communicator. Philza wanted to move or speak but he just felt frozen. Was their information wrong? They didn’t know who he was a minute ago and suddenly they claimed to know more than he did. Or were they really right and- his thoughts were cut off as Jrumbot started to speak.

“Daaaad. Grum and me were playing and someone broke into our cave and we’ve never seen him before but Grum knows stuff about him and says you need to come here cause it’s really really really important.”

“Oh! Perfect! I’m actually looking for some new people!” Philza recognized Grian’s voice coming through the phone. It shocked him and he almost yelled at the phone but then a second voice came through it.

“What do they look like? And don’t say they’re wearing green since they both wear green. Do they look old or young, what color’s their hair, tell me stuff like that?”

“Tommy?” Philza spoke and the phone was quiet for a few seconds.

“Okay, Grian, you head there, I’ll keep looking for Tubbo.”

“Tubbee is here!” Jrumbot spoke into the phone, earning a laugh from Tommy.

“I’m sure he is, but someone else named Tubbo instead of Tubbee is lost in the jungle.”

“Oh, okay!” the small robot said happily before hanging up the phone.

Philza suddenly grabbed the two robots and pulled them towards the opening he had made. “Come on, we can’t stay here. The person you just called is the one who kidnapped us and for some reason Tommy thinks they’re safe to be around. It seems like you two think the same.”

“But he is safe.” Jrumbot said, letting himself be dragged, though he did pull away briefly to untie a lead and hold it, a bee now following behind them. “He’s our dad! And he didn’t kidnap Tommy!”

“I’m sure that’s what he wants you to think.” Phil continued to pull them along, glad at least for the lack of resistance from the two of them. “He’s a Watcher, and those are dangerous. They mess with worlds and-”

He wasn’t able to say more as Grian landed in front of him. He was surprised to see the Watcher wings looked more natural like an avian’s wings, but the rest of him looked similar enough for Phil to recognize him. “Dad!” Jrumbot pulled his arm away, leaving Phil trying to grab him again, but instead he grabbed the lead holding the bee that was being pulled along. The sudden tension made the small robot fall over.

Philza pulled Jrumbot back to him and pushed both him and Grumbot behind them, once more using his damaged wings as a shield.

“What are you doing with my kids?” Grian spoke, sounding serious.

“Protecting them from you.” Philza spat out.

“Prote- You’re the one they should be protected from. Tommy didn’t mention a lot of people he thought he could trust. And I’m sure you’re not one of those people.”

“Then he forgot or was scared to tell you.”

“No, you’re just one of the people he wanted to trust but instead hurt him so much none of us could approach him for the longest time without terrifying him.”

It looked like the two avians were going to argue more, but Jrumbot managed to sneak under one of Phil’s damaged wings and run to Grian. “Dad, he doesn’t seem that mean. He just thinks Watchers are bad or something.”

Grian glared once more at Philza before sighing and looking down at Jrumbot. “Well you’ve seen how Tommy can get sometimes. In fact, he might really need Tubbee for a bit soon.” Jrumbot frowned and crossed his arms, making Grian laugh a little bit.

“Dad, I believe there more-” Grumbot started to speak, but there was suddenly a shout from the trees nearby.

“Grian! I found Tubbo again!” Tommy emerged from the trees pulling Tubbo along. “I explained the gist of things to him and he seems okay with it.”

“Dad really this is-”

“Great. Meanwhile I caught up with the bots and this guy. He was trying to take them away from me.”

“Dad please his name-”

“What the fuck?! Phil these are his kids!”

“Da-”

“Do you want Tubbee now?”

“DAD THIS IS PHILZA MINECRAFT!” Grumbot finally had enough and turned his speech volume to its highest level. Tubbee flew around in shocked circles, Tubbo pulled themself closer to Tommy and Grian and Philza’s feathers ruffled in shock. “As I’m sure you’re aware he is also the king of the former Antarctic Empire.”

“Oh, well that changes things.” Grian said in a matter of fact tone before pulling his sword out. “Now I’m even more upset. This is what you became?!”

Philza drew a weapon of his own. “Oh, so you’ve been watching me for a while, have you?”

The three others looked at Grumbot with a range of expressions from concerned to confused. “Grum what the fuck is going on?”

The older robot just gestured to the two avians staring each other down, each waiting for the other to make a move or let their guard down. “Dad is upset at learning that this is Philza.”

“And what does that have to do with anything?” Tubbo asked, not sure how much of this was brand new and how much of this he didn’t know from not being with Tommy.

“Oh, because Grian is one of Philza’s sons.”

“G’s what?!” Tommy yelled, surprised. At the same time, Philza looked over in shock at Grumbot, having heard what was said. Grian took that as a chance to knock Philza down to the ground.

For a full minute, everything was quiet and no one, except Tubbee, moved. Then, Jrumbot seemed to process the information. “Yay! A grandpa!” And he jumped on top of Phil, easily winding him from the weight of simply being a robot.

Grian pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, fine. Let’s go to my mansion and talk this out. We can get X and Mumbo to come too.”

[im-whatchamccallit]

Crushcrushcrush//Kim Hongjoong (ATEEZ)

Request:  Hi i was wondering if you could do a soulmate werewolf hongjoong x human female reader angst and fluff like she over hears hongjoong saying something and she gets sad and shy and worried and stuff.....

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst with fluff at the end, Werewolf!AU, Soulmate!AU, a bit of College!AU

Warnings: Hongjoong’s kind of a dick with irrational thinking, cussing I guess

Word Count: 7.2k

(A/N: Lets just pretend I didn’t disappear for 6 whole months, but i am back and my medication is no longer giving me the big sad so I’m a little more motivated to write.This isn’t the best work I’ve done, this is actually idea 10 for this prompt and idk if it’s executed properly but Imma keep trying and hopefully, to keep from falling back into a slump, I’ll start a new series so I have a regular scheduled fic for everyone. Also, I think I botched expressing the AUS here but just let me know what you think. Sorry for always disappearing, I can’t promise I won’t go off the grid again but I’ll try harder to be active in anyway)

Your mother always said crushes stayed crushes for a reason: they hurt. Bad. But you thought she was wrong, that your feelings for someone could one day be reciprocated later if not sooner, and that’s what led you to him. Kim Hongjoong. The day you met was a complete accident, your body slamming into his as you wandered aimlessly during your freshman year of high school. He was gorgeous with wide brown eyes, beautiful pink lips and cheeks, his hair styled differently from the other boys to reveal his forehead, showing his individuality. He was perfection.

“I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” Those were the first words he spoke to you, his voice so gentle, so sweet. And the way he reached out to help you with no hesitation, holding your hands as he pulled you up effortlessly.

It was love at first sight, all until he looked down to your hands, eyes catching a glimpse of your wrist, a row of zeros peeking through the sleeve of your uniform jacket. He slowly pushed the fabric up, both your eyes widening to see your soulmate clock had finally timed out, his hands releasing yours to check his own wrist, a quiver to his lips as his clock matched yours, his once soft eyes now hard as he stared you down.

“Stay far away from me.” He warned, not saying another word as he headed to his homeroom, your body frozen as you watched him disappear. He was so harsh, yet you liked him. Maybe suddenly finding his soulmate scared him, but it was no problem to you! You were bound to end up together so you played the waiting game with him, being the perfect soulmate you could possibly be whether he accepted it or not.

And that led you here, now seniors in college and still acting the way you were when you met. Hongjoong was still cold, treating you like some plague while you could only smile along. You weren’t sure how you missed the fact you lived in a predominantly werewolf area until a public service announcement came on your television one night to remind humans to stay indoors during the full moon, that night dedicated to werewolves being as free as they could be, but it made you even more hopeful when you were on your way home from work one night, taking a shortcut through the woods since it lead right to your backyard.

You were 16 at the time, so the sight of a shirtless person would obviously make you flustered, but a shirtless Hongjoong? Enough to cause a nosebleed. He was 16 as well, the exact age a werewolf develops a mate bond and, seeing as you’ve already been confirmed as soulmates in the human world, the sudden desire to latch onto you and never let you go once you locked eyes only made your lifelong attachment more real, and he was freaking out. He didn’t speak, opting to shift without removing the remainder of his clothes, your eyes wide as he moved deeper through the thick trees and towards the horizon where the orange sky was in full view and, the grin on your face just couldn’t stop growing. You knew werewolves had a stronger drive to their mates, so the idea that he could avoid you forever was laughable. Sure, you were both 23 and he has uped his disdain for you from staying silent to calling you any vile name he could think of, but it was only a matter of time before he came around. You just knew it.

“(Y/n), stop gawking.” Miyeon joked, poking your side to snap you from your daydreams, your eyes widening when you noticed a few of Hongjoong’s friend’s catching your gaze, a blush painting your face as you turned away.

“I wasn’t gawking, just making sure their table was okay. I am their waitress tonight.”

“And every other night because you said, and I quote, ‘I wanna work at any table my Joongie’s going to be at!’” She mocked, your eyes rolling as you looked back towards them.

You took a job at a diner just a few blocks from both your apartment and college campus, the pay great and the distance convenient. It was the only time you had to yourself instead of lingering to Hongjoong, figuring out his classes and breaks to give him snacks and lunches you’d personally make for him since you overheard him complain about the campus food before, only to be told they tasted like shit and he’d find his own food. It was a bit of a kick to the face to hear that, but you had one saving grace: his pack. The first time Hongjoong sent you away with a bitter remark, they were curious about you, tracking you down when they weren’t with their alpha to get more info on who you were and what you found so loveable about the man treating you like some demon. They were surprised by how sweet you were and how accepting you were to be the unwanted luna of an eight-wolf pack. They could never hate Hongjoong but they sure as hell loved you just a little more than him. Unbeknownst to both of you, Yunho and Mingi found out where you worked, making a plan with the others to take Hongjoong there as much as possible so he would have no choice but to interact with you, even if he stayed silent to not appear like an asshole in front of the various strangers dining as well. Hongjoong would honestly never return if he had the choice, but something about the restaurant’s signature burger kept bringing him back, which is why he was here, sipping his soda angrily as he waited on his meal that would be served by his worst nightmare, you.

“I don’t know why you don’t just find someone else. Isn’t it easy for humans to reject soulmates? You could move on with no problems.” She said, helping you grasp onto the steel tray covered in various meals, a huff leaving you as you put on a bright smile.

“Because I know it’s harder to move on for wolves. You guys don’t have a choice on who your mates are, and you just accept it once you meet them. I know Hongjoong will accept me eventually, it’s just gonna take some time.” You gave one more smile before wobbling towards the table in question.

Hongjoong tried not to follow the gaze of his pack as they watched you happily approach them, letting out a huff as you adjusted the tray onto your shoulder, grasping the plates and placing them in front of the respective person, Hongjoong’s nose twitching at the smell of his burgers and fries, not wasting anytime to dig in as the other’s thanked you, but you shyly looked at the male before you, the tray pressed to your chest as you tried to find a casual way to speak with him.

“I-uh- I-I remembered last time you asked for extra cheese, so I decided to put cheese in the burger too! I hope you like it better than the tofu stew I made you for lunch the other week.”

“I didn’t ask for extra cheese this time, so why put it inside my burger where I can’t take it off?” He said spitefully, mouth still full as he set the half-eaten burger down.

Your smile faltered but bounced back as you reached towards his plate.

“O-oh! Well, I can take it back and make you another! This time I ca-“

“’This time’? You should’ve just done it from the start. Your job is to listen and do what you’re told and you can’t even do that? What can you do right?”

You swallowed hard, your eyes wandering to the people now staring at you as the scene unfolded, your heartbeat ringing in your ears as you tried to hold it together. The worst he’s called you in an idiot and that was usually under his breath, so to practically say it out loud, in front of strangers while you were in the middle of a shift and forced to do nothing but smile like you usually would, felt like you were being stabbed and burned simultaneously. You couldn’t keep smiling, looking down as you tried to apologize, only for him to cut you off once again.

“Go bother someone else. Or hide in the back if you’re just gonna keep fucking up this much.”

The space was eerily silent, even with the soft music playing, your eyes not leaving your shoes as you shuffled away. It was a pitiful sight, Seonghwa releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as you went to a neighboring table to retrieve plates and glasses left by a couple from before. He was ready to tear Hongjoong’s head off, not as a gamma to an alpha but as one friend to another, his jaw tight as he prepared to berate him the way he did you but, somehow, Wooyoung beat him by asking a question none of them thought to ask before.

“What did she ever do to you that you have to treat her like that?”

There was a strange but tense silence as they awaited his answer, watching him taking small bites of his fries as he stared ahead at nothing before turning to them with what could only be described as a sadistic smirk.

“Imagine being 13 and finding out the best years of your life, the years of dating, hooking up, just discovering who you are, are gone because your mate decides to show up and take that from you.”

“Are you fucking stupid? That’s the reason we have mates, so we can do those things with one person instead of random people!” Seonghwa nearly yelled, trying to keep his voice low as to not alarm anymore spectators again.

“For the past 7 years, I’ve been trying to get her to leave or just reject me, but it’s clear to me now that she’s just an idiot that doesn’t understand she’s not needed, by me or anyone. And, if you’re as dumb as her, I’ll simplify it for you: she’s unwanted.”

Whatever pain you felt before suddenly disappeared into a numbness you couldn’t explain. He knew you were there, that you could hear him, that you would hear him, and yet he still said it. You were conflicted and sad, your lips curling in a mixture of disgust and anger before settling on a bright smile. Never mind the fact your tears finally spilled over, that your heart ached with every beat and your body felt heavy with the weight of being rejected by someone you waited so long for, you just had to smile. Soulmates were supposed to be a sure thing, supposed to be your happily ever after, yet it just turned out to be a crush, one that you should’ve let die the day you met him.

“(Y/n/n)…” Miyeon spoke cautiously as you made your way towards the bar, your other coworkers watching from beside her as if you were some strange spectacle.

“We have to start cleaning, y’know? It’ll help us get out of here a lot faster tonight.” You said in your usual cheerful tone, tears still flowing and a faint crack to your voice.

“How about you just head home for the day, (Y/n)? We can handle everything from here.” Your manager said, her eyes scanning your face as you moved past them and to the kitchen, their bodies following instinctively.

“What? No! I’m fine! We still have 4 more hours to go and I think if I get a head start with the chefs for tomorrow lunch specials I ca-“

“(Y/n), please-“

“I’m fine, Miyeon! Really! It’s not like I got broken up with or anything, I never even had a boyfriend! Just a crush on someone that thinks I’m a waste of space! Isn’t that super ironic? Spending most of your life chasing after someone that wants nothing to do with you? That’s really funny, right?” You choked out, lips pursing into a thin line to keep in your sobs but your attempts were futile, everything slowly starting to hit you at once until your body collapsed, one of the other servers catching you before you hit the ground.

It was all a blur from there, the words of comfort everyone offered turning into muffled noise as your cries of agony came out freely, the way Miyeon dragged you from the emergency exit at the back of the building and to her car to take you home, and even when you crawled into bed and managed to sleep despite the pounding headache. 7 years came and went and there was nothing to show for it. No soulmate, no boyfriend, no romance, not even a friendship. You were empty and for some reason the only thing filling your heart and mind was the person who broke you.

It felt like time stood still yet hours had passed, Hongjoong back in his own bedroom pressing away at his keyboard, stopping occasionally to write a few notes down from his new composition, but he wasn’t distracted enough to hear his door open, various footsteps entering and even a few bodies settling in on his bed, his eyes not bothering to leave his notebook as he figured this moment would come.

“You don’t need to lecture me.” He grumbled, going back to play a few more notes only to find his keyboard unplugged, Mingi tossing the cord away as his alpha stared him down.

“It’s only a lecture if you listen and learn, which you won’t, so we’re gonna make you feel as bad as possible for driving away the only person that gave a shit about you.” San said with a bright smile, a scoff leaving Hongjoong as he finally turned in his chair to face them, eyes scanning the room to see this situation wasn’t playful but truly hostile, almost like an ambush.

“So, you guys don’t care about me?”

“Trying to get you to accept your soulmate so you don’t die shows we care a lot more than we should.” Yeosang spoke, making himself comfortable as he sat against the pillow and headboard.

“But we’re the real assholes for trying to force her with someone as shitty as you.” Seonghwa finally said, Hongjoong’s head snapping in his direction as he let out a dry chuckle, shifting in his seat so he was leaning backwards, arms crossed as he told himself to stay calm during his friend’s potential tantrum.

“I feel like you have the most to say since you’ve been in love with my mate the longest, so go ahead, tell me how I’m such a bad man, Seonghwa. I’m all ears.” His smugness made the tension worse, Seonghwa stepping closer with clenched fist.

“I’m not in love with you mate, but if I didn’t know someone was waiting for me because we were fated to be together, maybe I would have asked (Y/n) out, because she deserves better than a lowlife with the brain function of a dead goldfish. But I respect her too much as your mate and my luna to not push those boundaries so I tried to help her get closer to you because I know you, Hongjoong. You’re not an asshole or a jerk, but to her? You treat her like shit, when really you’d have no one without her. You’re a short, scrawny, nerdy moron that locks himself in a dark room for days on end just to complete a single project, then emerge to eat cold pizza and watch Despicable Me because your pea-sized brain can’t comprehend anything that isn’t brightly colored animation. If you take away your alpha status, no girl would even look in your direction but you have someone literally at your side, the only human not afraid of you, trying to figure out everything there is to know about you, yet you can’t give her the time of day. You probably don’t even know a damn thing about her.”

“Unfortunately, I know more than enough about her.” Hongjoong spoke, all amusement gone as he glared at the older male, their mindlink clogged with threatening growls and barks, trying to keep their fight from getting physical.

That first sentence alone made Hongjoong’s blood boil, his face contorted in a mixture of pain and disgust. How could Seonghwa even say that to him, plotting to steal his mate all because he was a bit uncertain? That all it was, uncertainty! He didn’t hate you, or wish you weren’t around, he actually grew to anticipate and enjoy your ramblings about your day or whatever new thing caught your attention, he actually even loved the lunches that you’d make for him. He couldn’t help that over the years he grew to crave you more, but the thought of fully accepting you and solidifying that the best years of his life were about to be gone, restricted to one person forever before he could even determine for himself his likes and dislikes, what he considered real love rather than what fate wanted him to feel, was terrifying. So he distanced himself from you, spending the years watching you from afar in hopes that if he didn’t get too close he wouldn’t lose his free will completely.

But it was a bad habit that seeped into your college years, everyone assuming he cared so little for you when he knew everything there was to know. He knew where you worked before any of the boys did, where your apartment was, the fact you were a business major planning to open a bakery once you graduated, he knew you didn’t have classes on Fridays but always came back on campus because you prepared meals for the men’s and women’s wrestling team which is where Jongho first met you, he knew you hated mint chocolate chip ice cream just like him but loved chocolate ice cream with mint chips, he knew you were always cold but overheat at night and wake up at exactly 3am to change into shorts and a tank top to be more comfortable, he knew about the birthmark on your lower back and a scar on your hip from a cat scra-

“Holy shit, you’re insane.” Wooyoung breathed out, Hongjoong’s eyes focusing on the room in front of him, a mixture of shocked expressions and amused ones filling his vision.

“I liked it better when we thought you hated her but, hyung, you’ve been stalking her since your freshman year of high school?” Jongho asked cautiously.

It was a weird feeling bubbling inside Hongjoong, the primary one being embarrassment. He knew he’d sometimes unintentionally rant in their mindlink whenever he was upset but to make an almost decade long secret public to his pack, revealing the intimate details of how you slowly but surely ingrained yourself into not only his brain but his life until he felt like he was going crazy? It made him tear up, his face burn with a blush as he was finally forced to face the truth. He pushed you away but wanted you more than anything. He wanted to spend his years free to explore before finally settling down only to reject every girl that came close to him simply because they weren’t you, and he took that anger out on you. What was he so mad about? The fact you stood by his side with a smile happily accepting him while he tried and failed to lust after other women? Was he that pathetic? He could admit now that he was and, if he could turn back time, he would’ve introduced himself and walked you to class. Just the first step of fully accepting you.

“You’re still ranting in the mindlink, you know?” Seonghwa said softly, regaining the once again lost focus of his alpha who was too consumed in his own pity to notice the tension died down, their gazes soft as they tried to sympathize with their leader.

“Sorry. I wish none of you heard that stuff.” He admitted, sniffling as he realized he’d been crying, hand hurriedly wiping away tears from his cheeks.

“Well, it’s a good thing we did. We still think you’re a moron, but at least we know you’re feeling guilty about all of this.”

“Don’t worry, Joong, if you know (Y/n) like we do, she always sees the best in people, so she’ll forgive you. But you still have to apologize.” San followed up Mingi’s words, wrapping an arm around Hongjoong shoulders while giving a bright smile in response to his weak one.

“She’s my TA in Calc 3 and I have that class around noon tomorrow. She always stays after in case anyone has questions, so I can stall until you get there.” Yunho offered, Hongjoong feeling a slight warmth in his chest thinking about it all. He’d let go of his insecurities, fix everything he’s done wrong, and finally have you as his. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

And tomorrow did come, but you were nowhere to be found. When Hongjoong arrived to Yunho’s class, he was met with a sympathetic apology on the account that you didn’t show up that day, you weren’t even at any of your other classes. The boys even tried to find you at work only to be met with a mob of your pissed coworkers led by Miyeon, threatening to rip their heads off if she saw their faces again. And that lasted for nearly 3 days, Hongjoong’s hope slowly dwindling away until he noticed two figures sneakily meeting halfway at the school’s entrance to exchange a large white cooler.

He recognized those bulky arms anywhere, and the thick Aussie accent was a dead giveaway as well, especially when it was followed by a distinct giggle. There was no mistaking it was Chan, but he could barely see the person with him, their voice low as they spoke to him and face hidden beneath a hood, but the scent emitting from them was strong, and beautiful, his eyes widening as he finally took it all in. You looked different, wearing a dark grey matching sweat suit which was a complete 180 from your usual attire, and you smelled faintly of passionfruit, possibly a change to your normal shampoo in an attempt to disguise yourself, but that thought only made his heart hurt more. Were you intentionally avoiding him? He could understand you hating him now but you were even ignoring the others in his pack, going from friends to complete strangers in a matter of hours and leaving them all devastated. He was going to fix this, here and now, if not for him and you than for his friends.

“Jongho’s been pretty upset about you not responding to his text. It’d really help if you stopped by to at least let him know you’re okay.” Chan pleaded, giving you a dimpled smile and hopeful gaze that made it impossible for you to hide your blushing face and grin.

“I just need a little more time, Chris. It’s like if you broke up with your mate and all the friends you made through her left you too. Except it’s me being broken up with by someone who was never my boyfriend and his friends came to me instead of me going to them. But, still, it hurts all the same.” You laughed slightly, trying to find some humor in the situation.

“You’re the only person that still calls me Chris.” He commented, trying to redirect the conversation as you clearly weren’t fine, neither of you noticing the burning glare just a few meters away.

“I just think it fits you best.” You admitted, neither of you breaking eye contact until you gasped, staring down to the box of food and drinks you bought.

“You should hurry to practice. You need to eat beforehand otherwise you’ll be weak after warmups alone. And I worked hard making those sandwiches and cutting that fruit, if it goes bad because you stayed here to cheer me up, I’ll really be mad.” You tried to put on your best scowl, your scolding undermined by his amused laughter.

“Alright, fine. Just stay safe, please?” You nodded, waving as you watched him turn to head to the school’s gymnasium, missing the way Chan glared at Hongjoong as he continued forward. Chan and Hongjoong’s packs were close, family almost, so the news of what Hongjoong did and why reached them in no time, and Chan was hoping today things would be fixed soon because, apart from you being the wrestling team’s beloved personal chef, you were like a sister to him.

You wasted no time leaving the campus behind, ready to go back into the darkness of your bedroom to forget you existed. You really wish you could disappear, that the ground would split beneath you and swallow you whole, but you couldn’t just leave when your phone was filled with calls and messages from friends and coworkers wondering where you were and if you were fine. So many people cared, what kind of person would you be to leave them all alone like this, especially when all they wanted was to help you? But being alone helped, trying to live life as normal as possible while adjusting to a Hongjoong-free lifestyle helped. It would take some time, but you’d find your normal someday. All you had to do was avoid-

“(Y/n)!” Your body froze.

He rarely called you by your name but his voice was distinct on its own, and it was the most sickly sweet thing you’ve ever heard. You wanted to run, to never have him see you like this. Dear god, how did you even look right now? You felt like shit, you probably looked the part. Dammit, Hongjoong was right all along, you were shit. You were worse than shit, you were just pathetic. A pathetic, lovestruck loser itching to just turn and say hi, to have the conversation you always dreamed of but you knew that wouldn’t happen. He’ll yell at you again. He’ll-

“(Y/n)? H-hi…” Hongjoong said shyly, standing right in front of you as you shrank into yourself.

His brows furrowed as you looked away, mentally arguing with yourself as you went over the days of self-reflecting you did, trying to find some lesson from your solitude to aid in this situation and it was starting to scare him. You were never quiet with him, you always had something to say even if it wasn’t important but, luckily, he had something important to say and hopefully you’d listen.

“I- T-the other day…. I w-was…. I-I’m sorry.” He stammered out, this confession a lot harder than he thought, especially now that you were facing him, eyes just as innocent as the day he met you, but he couldn’t run away this time.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, honestly. Everyone told me I was an idiot and I think they’re right. I treated you like you were garbage for years, all because I didn’t want to be mated so young. I just wanted to date around before I finally settled down with someone and, m-maybe I could’ve just said that, so you didn’t have to wait around for me all these years but, I never hated you, and I can’t hate you. I know you won’t forgive me right away but I think it’s only fair that I can be a good mate to you now.”

He swallowed hard, trying to suppress the desperate ‘please’ he wanted to add as your pupils began to shake, almost as if you were a machine malfunctioning, none of your self-reflecting preparing you for this moment, the only thing coming to mind being some sad blog article you found during your second day of isolation. ‘Forgiving and forgetting too soon is dangerous. Find yourself’. It wasn’t what you wanted but maybe what you need, what he needed. So, without hesitation, you smiled brightly at him although it never reached your eyes, clearing your throat as you tried to keep your voice steady.

“Hongjoong, I can’t forgive you easily. I waited for you, I tried to make you accept me and it always ended up with me getting hurt. Honestly, if I just treated you like a regular crush, maybe we could’ve forgotten we’re meant to be together until after graduation or something.” You laughed awkwardly, wanting to look away as his eyes softened in the saddest way, but you needed to do this, eyes locked on his as you exhaled through your nose.

“I couldn’t be by your side all the time, so whether you dated anyone is still a mystery to me but, I’ve been alone for seven years hoping you’d come around, and I think it’s time I take those years back. I’m not sure if what you said counted as a rejection or if we’re still mates but, if we are, we’ll come back to each other eventually. For now, I just need some time.”

You managed to walk past him without completely collapsing in tears, speed walking back to your apartment as you tried to swallow sobs, not even taking in the way Hongjoong stumbled to follow you, almost like a zombie as he attempted to plead for you to reconsider, to force himself to accept your decision but ask how long you needed, but he couldn’t do that. He tried to picture himself in your shoes, seven years of pining only to be publicly humiliated by the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. He couldn’t blame you for not forgiving him, and he sure as hell couldn’t force you, so he let you go, trudging in the opposite direction to his two story apartment just to hide in his bedroom until he didn’t feel like dying anymore.

But as more days passed and it only got harder for Hongjoong. He barely left his room but also never slept, every song he created was played in minor scales to fit his now melancholy life. The charisma he typically exuded was hidden with puffy red eyes from crying and a yellow knit sweater a few sizes too large for his body but it was the only thing that comforted him at this point, especially when knowing you had reconnected with everyone but him.

After exactly one week of distancing yourself from the world, you caved and meet with the boys individually (sans Hongjoong), apologizing for needing space although they completely understood, but the way each interaction ended made your guts churn with guilt. ‘Stay safe, luna’, that’s how all of them addressed you before they left, leaving you filled with the desire to return to how things were before. You missed your friends and, the fact your mate was finally ready to claim you, only made you want to forgive Hongjoong sooner. But you needed to be your own person for once. You had seven years worth of relationships to catch up on and you wouldn’t let them keep you from that.

Except when they did.

You should’ve known it was risky letting them know you had a date so soon, just some other human on campus that had yet found his soulmate. They sounded happy for you, Wooyoung going so far to ask where you met and where your date would be and what time, giving suggestions on what to say and wear since it was “your first”. It was a sweet gesture, and you thought nothing of it, but that information meant everything to him which led to now, the boys huddled together in their living room with a slightly paler and sickly looking Hongjoong curled into the corner of their loveseat.

“So they’re going bowling tonight at 8:30? We could ask her about it tomorrow in case she’s into him because hyung isn’t looking too great.” Yeosang commented, everyone looking to Hongjoong as he managed to drown his entire body within the sweater, only his head visible as he stared ahead like some lost puppy.

“He’s just weak from not being around her for so long, but their bond is still there so he’s fine. But we have nothing to worry about. She won’t fall in love with him so don’t get too involved, she’ll just stop talking to us again if we meddle too much.” Seonghwa warned, a chorus of ‘Okays’ confirming their dismissal as they all stood to retreat to their bedrooms.

“Wait, who is she going out with anyways? There’s only 10 other humans at that school.” Mingi’s question cause everyone to freeze, the silence in the room contrasting with the faint answer Woooyung gave in their mindlink, Hongjoong turning to look at him with hurt and pain.

“Why didn’t you say it was Yugyeom?!”

“I did! Just not to you, until now because I forgot to tune you out.” He said shyly, flinching as Hongjoong ran past him and right out their front door, none of them sure of what to do at that point.

It was such a minor yet major detail. Kim Yugyeom was admittedly the most wanted person any of them could think of. Human girls wanted him, werewolf girls wanted him, most guys couldn’t help but stare whenever he passed by. He was gorgeous with eyes that sparkled every time he smiled. He spoke about his soulmate with so much passion despite never meeting her, following his words with how he’d treat any girl before her with the same love and care. It was a pick up line meant to hook any hopelessly romantic girl in, the sweetest way to say their relationship wouldn’t last. But this was Kim Yugyeom, they knew it was only meant with good intentions, not wanting to string someone along with the false hope they’d be together forever. And that’s exactly what you needed. To explore while knowing you’d always come back to Hongjoong. But that’s not what Hongjoong wanted. He didn’t want you dating anyone else, finding temporary happiness when he was supposed to give you a lifetime of it. And humans were more flexible with their soulmates, they had the privilege to move one without the pain or withdrawals of losing their mate. Werewolves just died if they were rejected, heartbreak and loneliness consuming them, so there was no telling how your heart would react to someone exactly like you. Maybe you’ll fall in love with him. Maybe he’ll abandon his soulmate for you once he learns how amazing you are. Maybe Hongjoong would die from lack of food and sleep before he even reached your apartment, which he was still sprinting full speed towards. It was only 7:30pm, meaning he had an hour before you and Yugyeom went out, but he didn’t have a plan. He had no idea what he was doing, but he needed to stop you before you found yourself in love with someone else.

It was like some scene in a drama, Hongjoong’s chest heaving as he finally came to a stop just outside your apartment. His body felt like giving out as he climbed the two flights of stairs to your door, only to find you waving shyly to Yugyeom just as he turned away, trying not to lock eyes with Hongjoong but Hongjoong’s eyes were only trained on you, yours finding his as a panicked look crossed your face. Should you look away? Go back inside? What was he even doing there? You never told the boys your address… You gasped as he approached you, swallowing hard as you tried to remain calm, but how could you stay calm when you finally got a good look at him?

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You didn’t hesitate to ask, stepping further from your door to examine him, reaching for his face only to stumble back to your original position. You were making great progress, you can’t do that now.

“I’ve been better, but even then I wasn’t fine.” He said with a dry chuckle, your lips curling into a fake smile to not show how much his appearance affected you. He looked like he was on the brink of death. You knew wolves would get sick without their mates, but was it really killing him? Were you killing him?

“Joongi-Uhm, Hongjoong, how about you sit down? You look like you’re going to faint.” You offered, stepping back to allow him inside, watching him stumble past you and straight to your sofa as if he owned the place.

It was such an awkward moment for you, watching the poor boy curl into himself as his sweater practically became his body, a sigh leaving your lips as you shut your door. Instead of healing yourself, you had to heal him. It was oddly pitiful but your instincts screamed at you to do it.

Hongjoong shut his eyes as he eased into your sofa, feeling more comfortable than he was in his own home, even more so with your scent invading his senses, your body warmth radiating onto his as you carefully took a seat, trying to figure out what to do.

“Do you need food, or water? Or a doctor?” You asked, the giggle he let out this time weak but still enough to make your heart beat a bit faster.

“I just need you near me.” He admitted.

You let out a squeak as he shamelessly fell into your lap, head comfortably resting against your thighs as he laid face up. You couldn’t stop your hand from easing through his unnaturally colored locks, melting at how soft they were, bottom lip trapped under your teeth as you had to fight off the desire to cup his face. You’ve never gotten this close to him and he wasn’t telling you to go away, instead letting out content purrs as he nuzzled closer to you, your eyes burning with unshed tears. Why couldn’t he just want you from the start? You’d would’ve been able to hold him like this all the time, to see him happy and healthy rather than a shell of his former self. But he didn’t want you, and now he was at your apartment just to keep himself from dying. It was silly to think he cared about you as much as he did himself.

“Of course you do.” You whispered, laughing bitterly as your hand left his hair, moving to his arm to ease him back up into a sitting position.

You couldn’t get past him no matter how hard you tried, nor did you want to, but every word he said, everything he’s done, followed you like a ghost haunting some poor unsuspecting soul. Why did you have to love someone who didn’t love you the same? Why was this your life?

“Can you just hold me a little longer? P-please?” He asked with a cute whine to his voice.

You sighed and grabbed his arm, gently pulling him back into his previous position, fingers massaging his scalp as he finally opened his eyes to look at you. You were beautiful, even with the frown lines etched into your face. He wonder how long they’ve been there, especially when he’s only seen you smiling. Maybe you spent your alone time more upset than he thought. Where you upset before he came? You couldn’t be when Yugyeom was here, no one could be upset with him around. Except Hongjoong. He felt a grudge building inside him just from the mere thought of him with you. He felt like interrogating you on what he was doing here in the first place and why you gave your address out to just anyone, but it wasn’t his place to ask and probably wouldn’t be for a while, but jealousy and rage was all he felt so any reasonable thinking was thrown out the window.

“I don’t want you to see Yugyeom anymore.” He said definitely, your eyes widened as you stared at him incredulously, an amused giggle leaving your lips.

“That’s not for you to choose, Hongjoong. I told you I need time-“

“Those seven years you’ve been waiting I couldn’t be with anyone else. I always compared every girl I met to you and none of them came close to being as perfect, now I have to watch you date some dance major with pretty eyes because I was an insecure dumbass? He has a soulmate, and he’s always going to choose them no matter how much you like each other, so why not save your feelings? I’ll wait as long as you want me to, but just don’t fall in love with anyone else.”

You tried so hard to hide your smile. This wasn’t something you typically liked, possessive guys being on the list of things you found annoying, but considering it was Hongjoong, his soft eyes hard and sharp as their hue seemed to go pitch black as his words were both sweet and demanding, made you fall in love just a little more than you already were. You wanted to take this as his confession, as a truce in your previous one-sided enemyship, to tell him that you told Yugyeom you couldn’t go out with him because you could only see yourself with Hongjoong, but you needed time. Not time to date and explore the way you thought he had, but to watch him work as hard as you did to prove he was ready and willing to love you. It was a little malicious, sure, but it was all in good fun. He’d always be your mate after all.

“I don’t know, Hongjoong, you really hurt me…”

“It hurt knowing I wasn’t with you.” Your smile cracked through, causing his own to appear, your game already over.

“And how do you think I felt? You think you can make up seven years worth of waiting so easily?”

You squealed as he shot up, magically seeming more alive than when he arrived, eyes full of life and his lips and cheeks the same rosy color as when you met him, hands warm and soft as he cupped your face.

“Good thing I have forever to do it.”

The silence was comfortable but unbearable, especially as he hesitated to lean closer, your lips puckering to guide him but he didn’t seem to be catching on and, when he did, you shifted back, laughing awkwardly as you stared at one another, both of you taking a deep breath as you finally closed the gap between you, a weird electric sensation you could only dream of as your lips slowly grew accustom to one another, moving so slow yet feeling so urgent. It was all still new to the both of you, romance and dating only now becoming part of your lives, but it was exciting knowing that you had years ahead of you to perfect it, your entire lives dedicated to loving one another. And it only took a seven year crush to get you here.

[obsessivelycapricious]

It's not real. (Anymore) - Tony Stark x Mutant! Fem OC

A/N: hello! Back with another snippet from the same, much larger fic that feels like it works well as a one shot.

Summary: She wakes up from a nightmare she can't quite shake and Tony helps her out.

Tony Stark x Mutant!female oc - her name is Grace but you can easily read it as a 3rd person reader insert if you swap the name out. Can also be read as a platonic friendship really. It's not too intense on the shipping front.

Warnings/tags: Panic attacks, nightmares, mentions of past torture, grounding techniques, "good girl" (idk if that needs a warning), hurt/comfort, food mention. - if i miss anything I should have tagged, please let me know.

Wordcount - 1.3k

Flailing, she fell onto the floor with a smash, as something shattered in the distance. She scrambled backwards trying to come to her senses, registering dully that there was a pained screaming coming from somewhere, too muffled to guess a direction. The lights were too bright, too clinical and the hard floor was cool to the touch.

She wasn’t safe.

There was a shout from across the room, a blur rushing towards her then hands on her body, holding her down. She fought against them wildly, her legs tangled up in something, constricting her movement.

Not safe at all.

Disorientated, it took her a moment to break free from the hold her attacker had on her. She couldn’t quite get her limbs to function well enough to move any distance away, instead scooting towards the corner like a startled animal. It took another moment for her to realise she was the one screaming, her chest achingly tight in terror. The sound died off and she tried to regain focus and look for a way out.

“Hey! Hey sweetheart, it’s okay. Eyes on me.”

The hands were back, on her face this time. She whimpered, screwing her eyes tightly shut which did nothing to block out the wave of pure fear coursing through her body.

The hands were gentle. Soothing almost. A trick.

“You’re in the lab with me, you’re safe. You fell asleep on the couch. It was just a nightmare. You’re safe.”

“No. I – please.” Unable to make sense of the voice, she pleaded, desperate for it to end. She kicked her legs out against the restraints, trying to get them free so she could try to run.

“It’s just the blanket, let me – there. Hey Gracie. You’re okay. Grace c’mon now look at me. It’s Tony.”

The name makes her pause. She blinks against the bright lights, her breath still coming out in harsh, painful rags. She doesn’t sound convinced but she asks for him anyway. “Tony?”

He sighs quietly in relief. “That’s it. J – lower the lights, down to 20%. You’re safe. It wasn’t real. Just a bad dream.”

The lights dim, bringing things slowly into focus. Tony strokes his thumb against her cheek, wiping fresh tears away as she tries to remember how to function. It’s only then she realises how heavily she is trembling. “Shit.”

Strong arms pull her close to his chest, she lets him this time. “There you go. It’s okay. Breathe with me.” He soothes her, breathing deeply and exhaling slowly. She makes an effort to match him but can’t quite manage it from the way her lungs seem to stutter.

“Good job. Let’s get you back in the room, huh? 5 things you can see.”

Something in the back of her mind tells her she ought to be embarrassed, but she doesn’t have the mental energy to give it any real thought. Grateful for the direction, she glances around the lab trying to put a name to something eventually landing on the robot on the other side of the room, rotating in distress.

“Uh – U. The Iron Man suit. The um – the cars.” She stumbles over the words, hoping they will ground her in the present, far away from her nightmares.

“Good girl, you’re doing great. Two more things.”

She glares at the sofa she just fell from. “That fucking sofa.”

Tony snorts. “You love that dumb couch. You’d cry if I replaced it, you know. So would I come to think of it - It’s far too comfortable to get rid of. One more.” He adds, prompting her again.

“The uh – screens. Overhead.”

“Four things you can feel.”

“Tony – “ With a sense of shame creeping in, Grace starts to protest but is quicky cut off.

“– Four things. C’mon.”

She screws her eyes closed for only a second, instantly regretting it as the fear she would slip right back into her dream kicks in without warning. “The blanket. The floor. Your hand and… Shit I don’t know.” She lets out a rush of air, frustrated with herself.

Tony shrugs easily, his voice even and safe. “This isn’t Jeopardy, you’ve got time.”

Grace takes three deep steadying breaths, before realising she can feel something else. She pulls away slightly to check. “My arm? Glass. Crap, there’s glass all over the floor be careful.”

Pushing forward to get a better look, Tony catches her hand in his, gripping it firmly to try and examine her. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let me see this.”

Catching sight of the shard stuck in the back of her forearm, Tony frowns before glancing out of the corner of his eye. “Dum-E I see you with that fire extinguisher. Put it down, get a brush and start cleaning this up.”

“Three things you hear.” He adds, checking to see if there is any more glass before turning his attention back to her injury.

“Tony I’m okay.”

“Indulge me please.” He grimaces, giving her a look in warning before pulling the shard out slowly.

She sighs, feeling her skin knit back together almost instantly. “Spoiled. Fine. You, uh. Dum-E. And um – J.A.R.V.I.S.?”

“Yes Miss?” The A.I. replies easily, still refusing to call her by her first name.

“And J.A.R.V.I.S.” She finishes. Feeling more grounded by the second.

Tony nods. Satisfied that there is no more glass to remove, he rests his back against the wall and stretches his arm back over her shoulders, pulling her close again. “Two things you can smell.”

It’s easier this time, to let her eyes close as she inhales deeply. “Motor oil. And your cologne.”

She can hear the smile in his voice when he speaks. “Bingo. Last one. Taste.”

Smacking her lips together, she grimaces. “Ugh, that I need to brush my teeth. That counts right?”

“That counts. Gross, by the way.” He adds, jostling her slightly.

She scoffs, unaffected. “Whatever.”

They sit together silently for a few long moments as Dum-E manoeuvres closer with a dustpan and brush. Tony huffs and affectionate laugh at the robot before speaking. “So. That was a doozy huh?”

“Yeah.” She agrees, sagging into him further, willing the aftershocks away.

Curiosity creeps into his voice as he edges the question. “Was it uh - was it the workshop?”

Grace straightens up, not pulling away completely but enough to stretch her back out, trying to hide her discomfort. She sucks in another deep breath before sassing him. “No, Vogelburg. So, you can put your guilt complex away, thanks.”

He snorts again, unperturbed. “That been happening a lot lately?”

“No.” The petulance clear in her voice, giving everything away.

“Liar.”

She huffs, frustrated. “The couch seems to be the only place I can actually stay asleep these days.”

He makes a considering noise, filing the information away in his mind, no doubt, before shrugging again. “Well, I’m the last person to preach about healthy coping mechanisms. It’s a good job you’ve got the all-access-pass to couch privileges.”

She nods in agreement, wondering if the couch would still be a viable option after this latest episode.

They watch Dum-E move the pieces of the glass coffee table around on the floor into a pile for a moment before Tony pipes up. “Want to order in?”

Grace shrugs. “Sure. What time is it?”

“Uh, good point. J?” He squints up at the ceiling.

“It is currently 4:39AM. On Sunday, Sir.” The judgement behind the words in clear in the A.I.’s tone, but Grace is instead suitably impressed by the information.

“Damn. I got a solid 5 hours.”

“Hey, there you go. Good for you Kid” He grins, ruffling her hair.

She ducks away from him, shoving him lightly. “Not a kid.”

Deciding he’s been on the floor long enough, Tony eases himself up to his feet with a grunt, before offering her his hand to pull her up. “Whatever Grandma. J, order us something for breakfast, would you? Make it greasy.”

[its-my-little-dumpster-fire]

Let it Burn ( t w e n t y n i n e )

Billy Russo x Reader, 6.7k

A/N: I don't know what to say about this one, just that it's been a long time coming and I'm equal parts excited and terrified of being this close to the end. So if even one person asks for a nice interlude, I'll friggin do it, because there aren't many sweet moments left. Not that there are any in this chapter? idk. You decide.

Warnings: Death. Talks of death. Violence. Poorly written fight sequences (I'm sorry @the-blind-assassin-12).

Summary: Billy's past comes knocking and you're thrown head first into a future you weren't expecting.

“I’ll get the car,” Matt volunteered the second your little group exited the bar. He was quick to turn away, leaving you with Noah and Libby on the sidewalk. The air thrummed around you with bass tones from leaking out onto the street. Combined with the alcohol in your system, you felt warm despite the chill in the air. Noah had his arm looped around Libby, holding her close and holding her up as her head lulled sleepily into his shoulder. Her hand stuck out, blindly grasping at the air behind her until you caught it in yours and she turned her face to smile. It was good to be with friends. Shocking, how normal it felt to be with people who knew you in college. Libby was there in your dorm room, laughing mercilessly at the sharp tingling in your legs after sprinting through the snow in shorts. A boy at the gym tried asking you out and your eighteen year old brain only came up with the dumbest responses to his flirting, prompting you high tail it out of there before pulling your sweats back on. Matt was there the Thanksgiving after you turned 21, carrying you on his back after too many spiked ciders, when you needed a break. Noah… well thankfully you hadn’t done anything remorseful in front of him that week, a sign you were getting older, but his presence in the group was a welcome one. Even if some days you looked at him and half expected your brother to be in his seat again, rubbing the back of Libby’s neck and calling Matt an asshole for wearing a Tom Brady jersey in public. It struck you that someday soon, these friends would have to move on from you too, keeping you and your brother as memories and nothing more.

Unwilling to let another string of macabre thoughts could kill the lingering comforts of the evening, you glanced up and down the street mindlessly taking in the city you once called home. It certainly wasn’t New York, but it had its own pulse. You couldn’t help wondering if it was the last night you’d ever get there and wanted to soak up every second. In your reverie, you floated away from Noah and Libby, kicking the pavement gently, eyes closed and heart content. Dying girls are allowed to romanticize whatever they want, you reasoned without paying attention where you were standing. It was your own fault that you were nearly knocked over by the broad shoulder of a passerby.

Noah hollered out in your defense, telling the man to watch where he was going, but one look up into familiar black irises told you the “stranger” was watching his step… and yours apparently.

“Sorry about that,” he whispered, a smile growing under rounded cheeks and puckered pink lines torn by glass.

You tried and failed to school your features into something slightly less glowy, but your soulmate’s hands were on you, steadying you, just feet from your friends. If you closed your eyes again, it might feel like a normal night out. A double date. Billy propped up against the wall, his arm stretched out over the plastic seating of a diner booth. You next him, stealing french fries off his plate and apologetically kissing his cheek after he slapped your hand away. Noah and Libby would be on the other side of the table, being their own kind of adorable, sharing a milkshake or something like it was the fifties. Oh god, you shivered, imagining Billy Russo in a leather jacket, driving you home after parking over in some poorly lit part of town, where his hand felt completely at home under your sweater.

“You okay, ma’am?” he asked, squeezing your arms and angling his face away from your friends, so only you could see or hear him.

“Yeah,” you sighed, disappointed your soulmate wasn’t a greaser, but still amazed he made such a brazen attempt to see you before you went home with your friends. “I’m swell.”

Billy chuckled at that, catching the sound in his throat so all that escaped was a huff. He nodded and licked his lips, looking down at the pavement between your shoes. Your eyes were still on his face, darker under the hood he’d pulled up, but you felt the toe of his boot nudge yours affectionately. “Swell, huh.” You nodded. “Alright,” he nodded in the direction of your friends, already releasing you and pushing you back toward them. “Keep your eyes open.”

“Thanks,” you called out, backpedalling until Libby caught your arm again and Noah stared down the stranger like any tough guy should. It wasn’t his fault that he had no idea who he was glaring at. If he did, he certainly wouldn’t linger.

“Russo!” you heard someone yell and immediately your blood ran cold. Libby and Matt were still trying to herd you away from where you’d been so rudely bumped, but you were immovable.

You heard Billy’s hissed ‘shit’ as the man with the thick black beard stalked over from the bar’s entrance. Shit, you repeated in your head, had this guy seen Billy in there and followed him out?

“You got the wrong guy.”

“Nah,” this man shook his head, “I don’t.” A terrifying smile appeared on his face as he approached Billy. “I’d know that fucked up mug anywhere.” He looked your soulmate up and down, all too satisfied with what he found. “Thought I was seeing a goddamn ghost,” he announced, before lowering his voice considerably. “Last I heard, they dragged your ass out of the river…” he scoffed. “Guess not, huh?”

In the presence of a rising conflict, Noah and Libby turned away, tugging you along with them. Your body followed them toward the lit yellow circle under a streetlamp to wait for Matt and the car, but your senses belonged to Billy. Always.

You had to believe that he was armed and clearly more than able to defend himself. Even strolling along the Adriatic, where time moved slower and the locals cared more about their afternoon cappuccino than the scarred face watching the water over your head, Billy had been prepared for the worst. There wasn’t a cell in your body that feared for him in these moments, but the second his name was spoken out loud… there was a new fear. Your life over the last 6 months was not safe anymore, Billy was not safe anymore. Everything you knew up until this point relied on anonymity and that was gone. Your soulmate could survive a street fight, but could he live beyond one where his ability to remain invisible was compromised?

The argument over your shoulder escalated and when you turned back to observe them again, what you found was more startling than a simple scuffle.

Billy was evenly matched and that alone was enough to scare you. He’s Billy Russo. Any conflict that comes his way should be easily snuffed out. He’s been fighting his entire life. First with broken broom handles and the grace of a boy who hadn’t grown into his limbs, but abandonment and terror look a lot like rage against hungry cheeks. No matter how “pretty” he’d been, there was a fight in Billy begging to come out. Surely the fight enticed a young Billy into service. The power, the training, the knowledge that he’d never be a victim again once his fists knew where to strike. With a scope, he could fight without getting his hands dirty. With a Ka-bar… he didn’t seem to mind that either. And you knew first hand that the fight followed Billy home, where his enemies were chosen for him and in exchange, he maintained his power. That Billy shouldn’t have equals, but somehow on this street, an equal had found him.

“They’re all dead,” the man spit then shouted, feet shuffling as he and your soulmate circled each other. “Geno, Todd, Bobby, Moke.” He lunged forward and Billy’s hands came down on his wrist, blocking the blade out in front of him. At first, you hadn’t noticed the black carbon steel in the dark, but when Billy took hold of his wrist in one hand, it was clearly visible under streetlights and gasps skittered through the small crowd gathering outside the bar.

“That’s on them,” Billy ground out, keeping his attacker’s arm straight up over their hands as he went for the knee with his other hand. Off balance, the man was forced onto his back and Libby’s audible gasp pulled your attention at the same time her hands were pulling back on your shoulders. Completely unaware of your own posture, as you stumbled backwards a step, you realized that you’d been moving closer to the fight since it broke.

“You pissed off the Punisher, Russo.” At the mention of Frank Castle, you turned back again, watching Billy’s hand come down on the man’s neck and jaw. You cringed at the way his voice gurgled and strained, but he kept taunting. “Jake’s dead.”

“He’s a fucking tweaker who didn’t know when to quit,” Billy insisted, struggling to dodge a knee to the liver while still pinning his assailant. The knife finally fell from the man’s hand, but neither he nor your soulmate lunged for it as you expected. Two men as deadly as this needn’t concern themselves with a sharp edge when their bodies were well honed weapons. You assumed this man must have been military too, with the pace at which they were anticipating the other’s movements, blocking and striking with disturbingly natural ease. He never would, but a part of you, a very small part, wished Billy would just run.

“Castle wanted you, Billy! Wanted to crush what you started!” Another series of punches that sounded painful. Everytime Billy drew blood, you noticed more of his own, a cut over the eye, redness that would bloom into dark purple before tomorrow. “You were a coward, Russo. Leaving everything you built,” the man was winded and you hoped that meant he’d slow down, but neither of them had that kind of quit in them. Not when face to face with an enemy. “We kept going, we could have run that city! But your buddy Frank Castle wouldn’t sleep until every of the boys was dead. Spunk, Manny, Vincent.” The man spit blood from his red stained teeth as he seethed through the names of fallen comrades. “That psycho went after Jimbo, that dumb kid didn’t stand a chance. I never thought I’d get my chance with Billy Russo…” he laughed, a little manic as that confident veneer he’d worn just a minute ago was broken. “But here we are, Billy. You and me.” He was using Billy’s name frequently and loudly. His eyes were as black as Billy’s and you watched them dart around to the handful of cellphone cameras pointed directly at the scene. The smirk on his face was unsettling and suddenly you knew what was happening. This man didn’t care if he died as long as he took Billy down with him. Billy, observant, but ever the predator was more concerned with eliminating the physical threat than his name going viral. The man wasn’t down for long before sweeping Billy’s leg and rolling away. Knife forgotten and fists flying into every inch of tender flesh, just like they were trained. Behind you, Noah described the scene in alarming detail while on the phone with local dispatch, making sure an officer en route knew exactly where they were needed and everything you were certain of two minutes ago was in jeopardy.

“Borrowed time, remember?” the man seethed, hunched over a heavy breathing Billy Russo who’d just taken a shot to the ear. “It was always gonna end this way.”

Falling from the top bunk and breaking your arm. Graduation. Your parents’ funeral. Your brother and Libby’s wedding. Meeting Billy. Standing outside a building that erupted in flames from the inside. The oncologist sat before you with a sour expression. Waiting for Billy in every new country, wringing your hands as if he might not come. So many life changing moments and yet, they were all a blur. This moment, however, was painfully clear.

You felt the tension in your toes as heeled feet moved toward the fray. The burn in your legs as you squatted after a day standing to accept goodbyes followed by a night of dancing poorly. The knife’s weight in your palm as you adjusted your grip to something that felt more solid. You’d bought cans of soup that were heavier than the blade wrapped in your fingers and that surprised you. No wonder these looked like an extension of Billy’s hand when he wielded them. Despite the relative lightness, you looked awkward holding on to it. Not like Billy. Through the blood rush behind your ears, the heavy throb of your own pulse drowning everything out, Libby’s voice screamed your name. Billy looked shocked, a marvel in itself as it seemed so little could surprise him, to hear your name and his eyes landed on yours, wide, but narrowing as the blade sank into his opponent’s side.

The man wheeled back quickly, his elbow landing hard in your chest and knocking the wind from you. Someone Billy’s height would have doubled over groaning after a shot to the gut, but when you hit the ground, no sounds came out as you tried to call out to Billy. He acted without your cries and while you stared at the ground spinning between your knees, the sound of the fight grew louder, more urgent. As unseen hands guided you back to your feet, your legs shook at the sight of blood splattered on your hands and bare shins. In your struggle, the knife remained in your grasp and the sight of it, shimmering red in moon and street light, made you feel dizzy.

It was Billy to say your name next, loud and strained. When you looked back toward him, he was on his back, thumbs digging into the man’s cheekbones as his head thrashed. The scars on Billy’s face seemed to give way to the veins bulging in his forehead until they were all you could see, evidence of his struggle to take in breath with hands pressing down on his windpipe. The last time you were in this scenario, Billy hadn’t struggled at all. Your attacker was a bum compared to the marine and when your soulmate sliced his fingers clean from his hand, you didn’t even stop to wonder if you’d done the right thing assisting Billy. As if a practiced dance, you approached again with shaky steps, to drop the knife in Billy’s outstretched hand. You watched as a red faced Billy Russo lifted the knife and plunged it directly into the side of the man’s neck. Blood flowed from the artery when Billy removed the blade and struck him again and again. He shoved the man from his body and rose with a face, reddened by blood splatter instead.

The world slowed to a stop as you fell forward and Billy caught you, widening his feet to adjust your body against his so that you both stayed up right. His whispering disappeared into your hair and you heard nothing that was said, until a new voice cut through the night.

“What the hell?!” Matt called your name, wide eyed and confused by the blood covering both you and the man that held you. He’d only been gone a few minutes and everything had gone to shit in his absence. At the sound of sirens just around the block, your eyes flew from your friends back to Billy’s, dark and conspiring as the next few seconds proved most pivotal.

Clutching the front of Billy’s jacket, you jostled him until his eyes fell upon yours. “Don’t you leave me here, Russo,” your head shook desperately, as did your voice. “Don’t.”

Without saying a word, Billy’s jaw tightened and he was off, all but carrying you toward Matt and the car that couldn’t have come at a better or worse moment. Your friend, too noble for his own good, stupidly resisted the man on a mission and Libby shrieked when Billy’s fist landed against Matt’s cheek. He shoved your friend toward the sidewalk where his sister cried and got into the driver’s seat like it was his plan all along. Libby tried to pull you back with them, insisting it was self defense and you didn’t have to run, but one look and she knew.

The second your door shut behind you, Billy pulled away, blessedly unnoticed by the blue lights approaching from the opposite direction. You were shocked when your getaway driver stopped the car after only a few blocks, slipping into an open spot in front of a fire hydrant and stepping out of the car without explanation. He opened your door and pulled you out when you didn’t immediately follow, dropping Matt’s keys in your seat before slamming the door behind you. A half turn over your shoulder and the blue from the responders’ lights bathed the buildings on the corner. You were far too close to be safe, but Billy pressed on, walking so close behind you that his chest moved you forward more than his hands. Around one more corner and it all made sense. There was already a plan in place, a car stowed safely within walking distance of the bar meant to carry Billy away before he was jumped and his identity exposed.

You settled uncomfortably in the front seat of a sedan that -under any other circumstance- would make you laugh to see Billy behind the wheel of it. “We can’t travel like this,” you gestured down to your short dress and blood stained skin. The man next to you made a disgruntled noise, but flipped on the turn signal all the same when you pointed out Libby’s street upcoming.

Billy stood watch at the large front windows, peeking through the curtains suspiciously and giving you commands from the other room. There wasn’t time for you to change clothes, which you hated, but you were allowed 5 minutes to grab whatever you’d need so you shoved what belongings you didn’t have to dig for into a bag, flying from every corner of your guest room. Job’s excitement at seeing you and Billy, together and walking through the front door like you’d been invited rather than pillaging through the flower bed for a false bottomed rock, lasted only the length of the entry before even the dog decided that your frantic packing was too much for him. With your bag slung over one shoulder, you scribbled the quickest apology onto a pad of paper in Libby’s junk drawer, hoping she wouldn’t find it until you were long gone. You trusted she and Matt and Noah to do the right thing, to tell the truth about what they saw. You weren’t sure what to expect of the bachelorette party that watched like a herd of scared sheep, phone out and backs hunched as they gasped and gawked at the death befalling tiny screens. There was time to spare one final glance toward the refrigerator, normal clippings and wedding announcements and grocery lists. Your friends would slide back into their normal lives soon enough. They’d feel the need to mourn again, despite attending your funeral just hours ago, but they’d be forced back into work, obligations, other friendships.

You had no such luxury. There was no normal from here on out. Whatever you thought you’d been running from in Europe was soon to be clawing at your door. It was impossible not to recognize that your journey with Billy so far had been easy compared to what was coming next. He was going to be hunted, while your dying slowed him down, dragged more like. The humble bag of belongings over your shoulder suddenly weighed a thousand pounds and the strap dug into your skin. In your haste to be close to Billy, your desperation to stay with him, you hadn’t stopped to consider what a cruel fate you were damning him to. Libby lit the spark, a guilty smoldering in your chest, thinking about Billy losing you the way your best friend had lost your brother. She was broken and changed, but you couldn’t fathom what Billy would do once you were gone. Torn between wanting to spend every waking second with him until your last and letting him run without you there to complicate his survival, you didn’t notice him moving through the house to find you and hurry you along.

“Let’s go,” he said sharply, urging you with his eyebrows and an extended hand, but his other hand was not empty and it amused you more than it should.

“What are you doing?” you asked, seeing the answer for yourself without addressing it. Billy shook his head and furrowed his brows like he didn’t know what he meant. You nodded at his hip, but he ignored the gesture completely, passing Job’s black leather leash from his left to his right hand, and walked out.

“Time’s up,” he announced again without further explanation and the dog behind him was more than pleased to be included. Job had no idea where he was headed or the dangerous circumstances that had brought his two favorite people back to him and for a moment, you allowed yourself to be like Job. You fought back your amusement and nodded solemnly, following Billy and his beast out of your friends’ home, apology tucked into a drawer and bag drawn up over your shoulder. Just before exiting, you stopped at the front door to kick off your heels and slide your bare feet into a pair of Libby’s walking shoes. She wouldn’t miss them and you were in greater need at the moment. This way, you hoped, she’d know you were safe upon entering, even before finding the note with half assed explanations. With the door closed behind you and the hide a key back in its place, Billy loaded Job into the back seat while you settled into the front. It could have been the start of a road trip, if you let it. Man, woman, dog, all piled into a car and headed for the next adventure.

Billy leaned over and you didn’t even try to hide the tears tracking down your face, overcome by the idea that your only normal moments would have to be imagined from now on. Usually one to prefer silence in these complex situations, you were surprised when Billy started to speak. Jose was the man’s name. He’d been involved with Billy’s tiny army, plundering New York City and taking back what they felt was owed to them after sacrificing so much in service. Jose, Billy explained, was the only member of their gang that questioned his decision to leave the game when he did. He didn’t explicitly say it, but her name hung in the air anyways.

“A lot of people died because of me…” Billy continued and you turned to face him in your seat. His eyes were forward, occasionally drifting toward dark mirrors, but never toward you. “Frank… if what Jose said is true… Frankie’s on a fucking spree.”

“Is that any different than before?” you asked honestly. You didn’t know Frank that well, or at all, minus a handful of meetings that always left you feeling nauseous before, during, and after. He was the Punisher, famed for clearing the streets of those that crossed him or his moral compass. Watching the Boondock Saints with your brother was one thing, knowing someone with twice the training and fire power was loose in New York with your soulmate’s name at the top of his list was something else entirely. Billy wasn’t the good guy in this story, you loved him, but your brain hadn’t disintegrated that much yet. Given another opportunity, Frank Castle would end Billy’s life without pause. That wasn’t a fact easily forgotten, or forgotten at all, but knowing that even one person blamed Billy for Frank’s less than judicious behavior was terrifying.

The steering wheel squeaked under the tight flexing of his fingers. You knew him well enough to know that Billy didn’t feel responsible for their deaths, not really. He was smart enough to draw conclusions about how they ended up on Frank Castle’s hit list, but he wouldn’t lose any sleep over them either. The only thing that worried you was if Billy was looking for a reason to fight Frank one more time, this would be as good a reason as any. You reached over to touch his arm and as awkward as it was to hold onto his elbow when Billy made no moves to reciprocate or accept the touch, you left your hand where it was. Only when Job’s snout shot up from between your seats and bumped the back of his arm did Billy react, dropping his right arm to trap Job’s face between his arm and his ribs. He looked up then, meeting your eyes for the first time since getting into the car. His expression was unreadable in the dark, but you disregarded the voice in your head that told you not to push him. “You’re not going after him are you?”

Billy’s eyes drifted purposefully back to the road ahead and you expected your question to linger without ever being answered. An unspoken confirmation of your worst fears. “I’ve got other shit to do,” he answered suddenly, releasing Job’s head from its hold and sliding his arm through your hand until your fingers fell in the spaces between his. Billy tightened his hold, fingertips digging into the back of your hand, then let go completely, switching hands to steer with his right. His elbow rested by the window and he cupped his own chin, covering his mouth with his forefinger as if deep in thought.

You. You were the other shit to do. You had to be.

On the one hand, overlooking his choice of phrasing, you were encouraged. He’d planned to keep you around and knew he couldn’t be with you while successfully hunting Frank Castle. That was… nice. In a way. There was a time when Billy’s feud -if you could call it that- with the Punisher took precedence over you and the trust he placed in you. Somewhere over the last year, Billy learned of your importance to him. Of course he didn’t share this as he was discovering it, but the night he held you and forced you to look at the passports he’d secured for you both before blowing Anvil to the ground, he’d laid it out clearly. You meant something to him and without his memories, he had to be sure. Once he was sure, he was all in. Or so he said.

Which made everything else harder. How could Billy Russo be all in when he had no idea what was coming next? A few months in Europe away from the US government and the Punisher, your brain was changing, but that was nothing compared to what he’d have to deal with soon. You and your doctors had discussed end of life expectations, but how much was Billy ready to shoulder. Would he regret his choices when you couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore? When you couldn’t get to the bathroom by yourself? When your throat rattled with every labored breath? When you weren’t sure where you were or who he was? How much of your dying could Billy stand before he took Job for a walk and never came back?

You’d meant to talk to him about it back at the bar- god, could that really have been an hour ago? Hearing Libby’s heartbreak as she talked about losing your brother was too much already. How much worse would it be when the goodbye was drawn out and by the end, he was so sick of caring for you that your departure was more of a relief than a loss?

“Billy, pull over,” you demanded suddenly.

He ignored your warning, but the churning in your stomach wasn’t waiting on your soulmate.

“Billy!”

“We gotta- SHIT!” You felt the car slide over to the shoulder when you lurched forward, hand over your mouth too late as the contents of your stomach emptied through your fingers and onto the thick rubber mat between your stolen shoes. When the car finally stopped, you were quick to exit, heaving twice more before falling backwards. Your butt hit the damp grass and your body slumped into the slope of the ditch until you were flat on your back. Slow breaths pushed whatever was left back down and when you were feeling brave enough to open your eyes again, you focused on a familiar cluster of stars to keep the rest of the galaxy from spinning away. The archer was facing back the way you’d come stumbling, taunting you, daring you to rise and face Billy Russo after throwing up in his getaway car. He could wait a few more breaths. When the sticky sweet scent of alcohol soaked soil wafted up into your nose, you frowned, wiped your wet hand in the grass, and stood, not really ready to face him, but unwilling to lie out in the cold smelling your own sick any longer.

Billy was watching you, one arm bent over the hood while he stood between the door and the driver’s seat. He didn’t strike you as the hold your hair back guy, but seeing him out of the car at all was a surprise. Your embarrassed shuffle back toward the vehicle was met with silence, only the thud of the door closing behind you and the click of your seatbelt broke it. Billy pulled himself back in once you were situated and in a matter of seconds, you were rolling again. The puddle by your feet was even worse than the wet ground you’d left in the ditch and Billy didn’t hesitate to roll every window down. The wind whipping through the front seat did little to cover his scoffing.

“Smells like death.”

“Get used to it,” you murmured back and waited for Billy to reply with something smart. The rebuttal never came, but he sat straight up after it, left fist clenched against his thigh while his right hand kept the car steady. He heard and you knew you’d need to talk to him again, seriously, but the adrenaline was well and truly worn off and the sickness wasn’t exactly invigorating. What a mess. You briefly imagined what Kathleen would say about it all before remembering that your phone was safely tucked into your purse, dropped at Libby’s feet in the middle of the night’s chaos and with it… shit.

“The address,” you said quietly. Billy’s eyes flitted up to the rearview, without responding. “The address you gave me, we can’t go there. Libby has it.”

“I put it in your bra,” Billy stated, already sounding frustrated.

“I put it in my purse so I wouldn’t lose it and…” you gestured vaguely. You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you were holding it. Maybe when Billy bumped into you on the street? Once the fight broke out, your attention was not on your belongings.

Billy took a deep breath through his nose, shaking his head as he dug his own burner out of his back pocket. He nodded to the backseat, “gimme that blue pouch back there.” You turned onto your left hip and opened the duffle he always had with him. Along the front side of the bag, you felt a leathery pouch.

“With the zipper?” Billy hummed and you pulled it out for him. Job whined quietly from the backseat, clearly not pleased that you were rummaging around in his space without even petting him. While Billy had the pouch between his legs, looking for something, you stayed turned toward Job, reaching out to run one of his ears between your fingers. He relaxed again, laying across the bench seat, so you rested the side of your head against your seat to watch him sleep and within seconds, you too were out cold.

Before you knew it, your eyes were flying open at the gentle vibration of the trunk slamming shut behind you. Looking around, it was impossible to tell how long you’d been out. The sky was just as black as it was before, but nothing outside the windows looked familiar and you were definitely in the car alone.

Billy was loading his bags and yours into a gray pick up that was so comically large you weren’t sure his long legs could pull him into the cab, let alone yours. You could make out at least two more men from their silhouettes, black against the glare of the truck’s headlights, exchanging words and something else with Billy before he turned back toward you. Unsure what was happening or who the men were, you waited in your seat for Billy to retrieve you, which soon enough he did. You hadn’t even noticed his jacket draped over your front until he slid it off your chest, placing it back around your shoulders once you were out of the car and standing with him. He didn’t touch you much, didn’t even wait for you before starting his march back toward the truck. You followed awkwardly, dodging the uncomfortable stares from the men he’d just been talking to and helped yourself into the passenger seat with about as much difficulty as you were expecting, especially in a short dress that still had tiny, but pungent vomit splatters on it and needed to be burned. It was probably a faux pas to wear the dress you wore to your own funeral anywhere else and you weren’t worried about missing it. Billy spoke with the men once more, pointing to the car that had gotten you here. The men weren’t interested in the car, stealing glances through the windshield at you. One had the audacity to wink before rolling his neck to smirk at Billy. You watched your soulmate’s face lift in one of his signature snarls before taking a total 180 into a similar sadistic sort of smile. He tilted his head toward the windshield, not even really looking at you before turning back and saying something that made the men roar in laughter. Through the thick glass and over the loud engine, you could hear their response and you were thankful you couldn’t hear what he’d said to be so entertaining. Instead of watching them through the windshield, you turned a bit to look in the backseat. Job was stretched comfortably across the bench, his big block head supported by Billy’s duffel bag, which left his snout right in between your seat and the driver’s. You scratched his head, amazed that the dog seemed to be adapting to this on the run business much easier than you were. He trusted you and he trusted Billy. The details weren’t anything for Job to be concerned with, so he nodded off again without trouble. You could stand to learn a thing or two from the mutt.

By the time Billy was back in the driver’s seat next to you, you had surpassed uncomfortable and settled well into ‘about to throw up’ territory again. The way the mean leered at you was chilling, but the way Billy let them, almost encouraging them, was ultimately what made your insides crawl. His head hit the seat behind him with a thud and he waited until the men, driving the first car away, were completely out of sight, not even the faint red spot of tail lights on the black highway ahead of you.

You had questions. Loads. Who were those men? Where were they going? Whose truck were you in? Where were YOU going? What did Billy say to make them laugh? Were you in danger? Was this always the plan or was Billy really so resourceful to pull off this swap all while you slept next to him?

And yet, none of them came out.

“Billy…” his head lulled to the side, looking at you dutifully without moving any other part of his body. “We need to talk.”

Billy’s huff was clearly annoyed and he straightened immediately, reaching for the gear shift and ignoring you.

“Billy-“

“They were guys from Anvil,” okay one answer. “They’re going ahead to set up a place for us in Buffalo. It’ll take a couple of days, but they got connections to get us across the border. Anything else you need to know?” His stare was hard. Impatient.

You swallowed and nodded. His nostrils flared but he didn’t say anything, so you continued. “Can we trust them?”

Of all things. That made Billy Russo smile. He licked his lips before answering. “Not at all,” he said, finally shifting into drive. “That’s why we aren’t going to Buffalo.”

The relief you felt at his words was enough to put you right back to sleep, but suddenly you felt wide awake. You even sat up a little straighter, turning a bit in your seat to look at Billy easier. The truck was pointed West, the ugliness of the night left back in Philly. Your poor friends would be left to pick up the pieces of the evening and you suddenly remembered why you’d run off on a grand adventure in the first place. Dying just left so much trouble for the ones left… which reminded you....

“Billy, we still need to talk.”

“I didn’t tell them who you were,” he assured you, derailing your thoughts entirely.

“Who did they think I was?” You asked.

Billy shrugged. “A hooker.”

“And that was believable??” Billy’s annoying smirk said it all, but he took a moment to look you up and down, lifting his eyebrows once his eyes made it back up to yours. “Ugh,” you whined. “Don’t answer that.” You tugged the hem of your dress down over your thighs as far as it would go. You were still in his jacket, a little black dress that stunk of sweat and booze and vomit, boots that didn’t belong to you. You hadn’t had a good look at your hair or makeup since before Billy fucked you in an office and there was no way your makeup had survived an evening of drinking, dancing, Billy’s rough kisses, manslaughter, and throwing up on the side of the road. The little pull down mirror above your head wasn’t even tempting at this point and Billy’s smug chuckle next to you was bad enough. You shrunk down, wedging yourself firmly between the back of your seat and the door, and Billy glanced over barely containing his amusement.

“Aw, c’mon baby, don’t be like that,” he teased in that thick accent of his and you glared at him from your little corner, pulling his jacket tighter with your crossed arms. He reached out across the console between you and unfortunately you had nowhere to go. His fingers wrapped around your shoulder and he barely had to tug before you were shifting in your seat to lean closer to him. Billy dipped his hand into the back of his jacket, rubbing your neck as you leaned further in. At his gentle kneading and pulling, you finally relented and let your head fall into his shoulder. It was an uncomfortable angle with the wide center piece between you, but totally worth it when you felt Billy’s lips brush your forehead. “You smell like a 4, but I know you taste like a 8.”

“I’m a 10,” you argued and he laughed above you. His arm was all the way behind your neck now, holding you against him as he maneuvered the giant vehicle with his left hand.

“Mmm,” he hummed. “I dunno about that. How bout we find you a shower and some toothpaste, then I can have another taste, just to be sure.”

You shook your head in complete disbelief. How dizzyingly quick could he switch from hardened criminal on the run to this flirt. Too fast. Hard day behind you and hard conversations ahead, but both forgotten for the time being. The ride was quiet and you were bound to fall back asleep before too long, Job’s snoring behind your head as comforting as Billy’s long fingers rubbing your scalp. Just before consciousness evaded again, you felt Billy turn his face into your hair, mumbling something too low to be understood.You hummed a bit to question it, but were out before hearing him repeat it.

YEAH WE KNOW BILLY. ITS ONLY MOSTLY YOUR FAULT.

Idk how y'all still put up with me and this story. Its too long. You can say it.

General Tags: @something-tofightfor @the-blind-assassin-12 @gollyderek @suchatinyinfinity @fific7 @beautifuldesastre @elanor-of-imladris @actuallyazriel @malionnes @pheedraws @commanderlola @mariaenchanted @the-blind-assassin-12 @gollyderek @suchatinyinfinity @fific7 @beautifuldesastre @elanor-of-imladris @actuallyazriel @malionnes @pheedraws @commanderlola

Let it Burn/Billy Russo: @elenarogersbarnes13​ @19avocado-high51 @songtoyou @disengagefrmreality @christinawxxx @stories-you-wont-hear @lexxierave @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @thesumofmychoices @ofheroesandvillains @charmed-asylum @bugboy-and-icegirl @thefinalexperiment @lysawayne @operation-spot @ilkaeliseb @littlemermaidprobz @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @mathle0matle @a-dorky-book-keeper @blackbirddaredevil23 @elenarogersbarnes13 @19avocado-high51 @songtoyou @disengagefrmreality @christinawxxx @lexxierave @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @thesumofmychoices @ofheroesandvillains @charmed-asylum @bugboy-and-icegirl @thefinalexperiment @lysawayne @operation-spot @ilkaeliseb @littlemermaidprobz @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @mathle0matle @blackbirddaredevil23

[lovingumi]

happy || s.kiyoomi

⤷ i feel like sakusa would get a cat that would be really independent and just on their own. he’d probably like the thought of taking care of someone without having to do much. idk honestly it just popped up out of nowhere.

synopsis: just a lil story of how you can sakusa got a cat with some terrible flirting and teasing.

pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x fem!reader

warnings: becomes a bit suggestive in the end

+ note: kinda hate it, kinda love it. i’ll fix it sometime </3

if you had asked yourself where you’d be in seven years in your first year of high school, then it definitely would’ve had been like this. minus the male that was stretched out on the couch with his head on your lap; he was a pleasant surprise that you wouldn’t trade for the world.

his dark eyes were focused on the television that played the series the two of you had started together, soft breaths leaving his nose as your fingers went through his curly hair.

your eyes switched to the black cat that was curled in to his side, his long fingers softly stroking her sleek fur. you could just melt at the sight of them together; the two living beings you held closest to your heart along with your family.

sakusa and you had adopted her shortly after getting an apartment together. you had always wanted a cat, but your mom was allergic and you couldn’t think of taking care of an animal when you lived alone and was burdened with the tough college life.

but when you two had moved in together when you were four years together, you knew that the plan you had at the age of eighteen went in to working.

two year mark.

the two of you were walking home, holding hands as you set steps through the dark and empty street. you were craving ice cream and convinced Sakusa to go to the convenience store with you.

after buying your favourite ice cream and that of sakusa’s, the two of you were off to his place once again. you felt him tighten his grip slightly on your hand, the scrunching of the plastic bag with the two ice cream containers in his other hand filling up the silence in the night.

however, that silence was quickly disturbed by your voice. “ yoomi, look!” you whisper-screamed at him. he stared at where your finger pointed, looking at the black little kitten that was sitting under the light pole.

“we’re definitely getting one when we’ve been together for five years,” you said softly, your lips curved in to a bright smile.

he looked down on you with his usual blank face, trying to figure out how you would know if you would be even together until that time. however, he shook that thought off and responded with the answer you already expected from him.

“no.”

three year mark.

“yoomi?” you walked in to the college gym, seeing how it was almost empty besides a few guys and your boyfriend. you spotted him on the ground with his legs spread wide as he leaned forward and twisted his body slightly, doing his cool down stretches.

you walked towards him, crouching down while pulling your mask down as he pulled his body straight up so he was sitting normally. “hi, baby,” you whispered before pressing a kiss against his lips.

you dropped the bag that was filled with all the necessities for the sleepover at his on the floor and groaned at how the weight was finally off your shoulders.

he stood up and slung his towel over his shoulder. “how did you come here?” he asked, taking your hands that you reached out to him and pulled you up against his chest. You let out an ‘oof’ and grinned, getting ready for the lecture he was going to give you. “on foot.”

just as he was about to open his mouth to tell you not to walk alone at this time, he heard one of his teammates curse out loud.

the two of you turned your heads towards the scream, seeing the guy on the ground with his hands propped up behind himself. in front of him was a black cat that had ran in to the gym. however, another teammate had picked up the animal and carried it outside quickly. “you’re so dramatic,” you heard one of the guys wheeze, watching the male who was blushing profusely push himself up.

sakusa knew what you were thinking and closed his eyes, breathing out his nose and try to block out the words you were going to say. you looked up to him with a grin and wrapped your arms around his waist. “it’s a sign.”

“____, no.”

four year mark.

“happy fourth anniversary, baby.” your arms were lazily slung around his neck as you stood on your toes to reach him, forcing him to bend down slightly too. He smiled softly, pulling you closer to himself as he leaned against the kitchen counter.

“happy anniversary, love.”

a few hours later the two of you were getting ready for the fancy date in the restaurant sakusa had chosen. as it was the first time in a long while the two of you had the chance to dress more on the elegant side, you had begged him to match your outfits in some way.

black and satin.

your outfit consisted of a black, backless satin dress that ended just above your knees and transparent heels. you kept your make-up simple, just enhancing your features lightly with the only bold thing being your burgundy lips.

you checked yourself one last time in the mirror of the bathroom, smiling brightly at the reflection of yourself before you walked to the living room with your heels in your hand.

once there, your eyes widened and your feet stopped moving. the sight before you truly was something you’d never, ever wanted to forget.

long legs wrapped in black jeans with a belt around his waist that you had gifted him some time ago and the black satin blouse tucked in to show the tiny waist he had.

you swallowed and cleared your throat, making him turn his head towards you. “hi.”

he smiled and raised a brow, thinking about how adorable you sounded, the complete opposite of how you looked.

his legs took him towards you, cradling your face in his big hands as he pressed a kiss against your cheek to not mess up your lipstick.

“you look stunning,” he whispered.

at this point, you were almost a hundred percent sure that your cheeks were the same colour as your lips.

“you look amazing.”

so, the two of you did your last checks and walked out the door to the car; everything was going as planned. the only thing that wasn’t planned was the black cat laying in front of the car.

“you’ve got to be kidding me,” he sighed, staring at the animal who stared back with its head tilted to the side.

“i’ve told you since we were eighteen,” you laughed, cooing the cat away gently so the two of you could start your date.

he unlocked the car and got in at the same time as you, closing the door with a slam as he stared at the black cat who sat sweetly on the sidewalk.

he shook his head, turning the key as you laughed at his denial, clicking in your seatbelt.

“our fifth year is next year.”

he turned around, putting his arm around the headrest as he turned the wheel with one hand, going in reverse to get out of the parking lot.

“and we’re not getting a cat.”

five year mark.

“ i can’t believe we’re getting a cat.”

that was the first thing he said when you got out of the car in front of the animal shelter just minutes ago.

“yoomi, I can’t,” you cried as a few cats came up to you, rubbing themselves against your legs. you bit your lip to try and keep your excitement inside before you scared all the cats.

one white cat in particular had taken a liking towards you, soft purring coming from the animal as you scratched her head softly. “that’s yuki, she’s a four year old girl,” said the staff member at the animal shelter.

“and this one?” you turned your head towards sakusa who was petting a cat that laying down on top of the cat post.

“we don’t have a name for her yet, but we guess she’s around one year old.” you stood up and walked over to sakusa to see the animal for yourself.

“What happened to her?” you asked the staff member, turning around to face him since there were no eyes found on the animal.

“she just arrived a month ago, someone found her covered in fleas, matted hair and wounds on the streets.”

you listened carefully to the story the man was telling. “we assume that someone used her as a target and shot her with a bb gun since we found the little balls in her eyes and a few places over her body.”

you saw Sakusa shake his head at what he told you, not believing someone would do that to an animal. “we decided to take her eyes out since they were just rotting and had no chance of getting vision back.”

“poor baby,” you said softly, letting her smell your hand before touching her.

“does she need any speciale care?” sakusa asked, turning towards the staff member.

“you just need to let her know if you’re going to pick her up so you won’t startle her, make use of her other senses and don’t let her outside unsupervised.”

sakusa nodded and turned towards you, only to find you already staring at him with a smile.

the present.

you thought it was adorable that the cat you two ended up adopting was one he had chosen. mako was his little baby that he loved to pepper with attention.

your phone gallery was basically full of pictures of the two of them, whether they’re curled in to each other, or when he leaned down to pet her with a soft smile on his face or selfies he had send.

“____?” you hummed in response and looked down with a snap of you neck.

his dark eyes were already looking at you by the time you switched your gaze to him, making you cheeks fill with the pink colour.

“is something wrong?”

the opposite, really.

you were at your happiest right now and couldn’t even phantom the thought of being even happier; it simply seemed impossible.

“nope.”

you reached for his hand, waiting for him to lift it up to your reach. you laced your fingers through his and turned his hand towards you, kissing his knuckles softly as you knew that this was one of the things that would get his knees weak.

sakusa kiyoomi was never the one who smiled brightly or laughed loudly, but whenhe did, time always seemed to stop for a moment.

the stunning smile that graced his face showed off his pearly whites as his eyes were close to shutting. the crinkle right at the corner, the glassy look over his eyes, the faint blush, his soft skin and the two adorable moles had you falling in love with him all over again.

“oh my, what have i done in my previous life to deserve such a beautiful smile?” you laughed light heartedly, fumbling with his fingers. he rolled his eyes, not losing the smile he wore and pulled himself up, careful to not bother the sleeping cat.

he leaned back on the couch, glancing at you to see if your eyes were still on him or on the television. you however, took this as an invite to sit on his lap, which it was not, but there would never be a complaint coming from him.

“please keep smiling at me like that- ow! okay! i’m sorry!” you laughed loudly, rubbing the place on your head where he had finger-flicked you.

your laughter died down slowly as your fingers went from his chest slowly to his jawline, softly caressing the delicate skin that you loved pressing your lips on.

“you come here often?” you suddenly asked him with a giggle following quickly after, ignoring the sigh that left his mouth. however, he decided to play along with your little game and comfortably leaned back as his fingers drew figures on your hips. “do you got a better one? humour me.”

you blinked a few times and sat there quietly, not having expected this answer. normally sakusa would discard things like that, thinking about how those terrible lines weren’t even worth a response.

“just let yourself go,” he said continued, shaking his head tauntingly with squinted eyes. your eyes widened at the sentence, remembering what happened in the shower early in the morning. even though the sentence had a double meaning, you knew which one he indicated to.

this bastard.

so, you just mirrored the smirk on his face and slowly slid your hands around his neck, dragging your nails lightly over his skin to force out shiver from him. the grin on your face only became wider at the reaction as you leaned closer to him, tilting your head slightly to the side.

one thing you loved about sakusa was how blunt he was and didn’t hold back from showing how he felt. even though it had the blood pooling from under your nails sometimes because of some of the comments he made.

however, you decided to take over the bluntness from him and get straight to the point.

“let’s go upstairs?’’

the corners of his lips twitched as he gave you a nod.

“alright.”

[goddess-of-geeks]

Grace and Power pt. 2

First Encounter

A/N: Kinda gave up halfway when writing this fic, but then i didn’t

Warnings: None, or something if you squint, idk.

Word count: 1228

Pt. 1

You were in your uncles training room wielding a katana. Different types of swords and daggers coated the walls surrounding you.

You stood in a ready stance as your uncle was located in front of you holding knives of different shapes and sizes.

You and your uncle locked eyes before you nodded your head giving him the “good to go.”

With a flick of his wrist your uncle threw a single knife at you.

You quickly blocked it with the sword, you focused your eyes where the knife hit the sword and smirked.

Your uncle released three knives this time. You dodged the first two and blocked the third one.

You turned your head at the sound of the two other knives embedding themselves in the wall behind you.

“Focus!” Your uncle snapped.

You turned to face him just in time as a knife was aimed straight towards your face.

You bent your knees and leaned backwards.

As if in slow motion you saw the knife cut a few centimeters of straw aways of your hair.

You crunched your core and pulled yourself into a kneeling position.

Your uncle threw two knives this time in a sweeping motion you used your katana to knock them out of the air.

You quickly stood up and ran towards your uncle dodging and weaving the knives he threw at you.

When your uncle noticed your close proximity, he quickly unsheathed his sword.

He raised his blade and struck it down on you.

You parried his attack right on time. Your faces were mere inches from one another.

You used a special move your uncle taught you to disarm him.

His sword fell to the wooden floor.

Your uncle looked down at his empty hand shocked at your ability.

You placed the tip of your sword at your uncles’ adams apple.

You noticed utmost delight and a small trace of fear in his eyes.

You lowered your sword and bowed to your uncle. Your uncle followed suit.

“You're getting better Y/N.” Your uncle praised you as you two straightened yourselves. You gave him a toothy grin.

There was a clapping sound near the door and you and your uncle turned.

There stood your uncle’s friend and butler Fat, a young boy and girl wearing Fire Nation noble clothing, and the Prince and Princess of the Fire Nation.                                                

The boy seemed shocked at your daring display of swordsmanship, whilst the girl seemed pleased with your abilities

“Master Piandoa,” The Prince spoke up referring to your uncle. “I have come here today to ask you to train my son Zuko in swordsmanship.”

The boy, who you assumed was Zuko, stepped forward and bowed.

Your Uncle bowed down in respect, “It would be an honor to teach your son, Prince Ozai.”

“Wonderful.” The prince said. “Why don’t we discuss payment and scheduling in a more secluded area, shall we?” The prince asked your uncle.

As your uncle, Fat, and the older couple left the room you placed your katana in it’s sheath before placing it on the table where many throwing knives were splayed out.

There was a couple seconds of awkward silence and nervous glances before the girl spoke up.

“That was pretty impressive,'' she said. You noticed a small shade of pink dusting her features.

“Thank you.” You said bowing your head.

“So… What are your names.” You asked the two, even though you already knew the boys.

“My name is Azula and this is my brother Zuzu.” The girl, who you now know is Azula, spoke up.

You saw the boy, Zuko, cringe at the use of his nickname.

“Azula I’ve told you not to call me that.” He said.

You giggled and turned to the boy, “What type of blade were you hoping to train with?” You questioned Zuko.

Zuko looked down at his feet and brought his hand up to rub the back of his neck. A very visible blush coated his cheeks.

“I don't actually know the different types.” He admitted.

Azula rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

You're pretty sure you heard her mutter something about Zuko being pathetic, but you brushed it off as usual sibling rivalry.

You turned around and motioned for the royal siblings to follow you.

“It’s quite alright that you don't know the different types of blades.” You reassured the boy.

“Lucky for you really.” You said walking towards the far end of the room. The royal siblings matching your quick pace.

You stood in front of one of the walls, the one with knives embedded into it to be exact.

You pulled the knives out of the wall and turned to face the siblings. You let the blades sit in your palm and lifted your hand so it was at level with your shoulders.

“These knives are called Kunai.”

You picked the smaller knife from your hand.

“There are two widely recognized types of Kunai.”

You spun the smaller of the two knives on your finger before throwing it up and catching it at its hilt.

“This knife is called the ‘short Kunai’ you could probably guess why.”

The siblings nodded along to what you were saying to show their attentiveness.

You laid the knife on your palm and picked up the larger of the two.

“You would think this knife is called a ‘tall Kunai’ but it’s not.” You said, “ it is referred to as a ‘large kunai’ . I've always been curious about their difference in names.”

“Can you show us something with the Knives!” Azula asked eagerly.

“I would love to!” You said matching her excitement.

“Zuko, could you stand with your back against this wall please?” You asked the prince with an innocent smile.

The prince turned to you with narrowed eyes.

“Why? What are you going to do?” He asked, a hint of fear in his voice.

“Something cool that's all.” you shrugged.

Zuko reluctantly stood with his back to the wall.You ushered Azula to follow you towards the middle of the room.

You faced the prince with the short kunai in your hands. You narrowed your eyes to get the perfect aim.

You brought your arm back, and threw the knife.

Zuko ducked down with his hands over his head before the knife embedded itself into your wall.

You heard Azula groan next to you.

“Good job Zuzu, you always ruin the fun.” She complained.

“No I didn’t!” He shouted back. He brought up his hand and pointed his fingers at you “She almost killed me!”

“No I didn't.” You said in defense to yourself. You walked towards Zuko. He was still crouching on the ground.

“Stand up.” You told the prince.

He eyed you wearily before doing as you told.

When Zuko reached his full height, it was noticeable how the knife was only a couple of centimeters over the top of his ponytail..

“See.” You pointed out to the prince. “If you stood upright the whole time. I would've only cut off a few strands.”

Zuko turned away from you in a huff. He crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his chin up high.

“Geez Zuko, you're such a wimp.” Azula told her brother.

You and Azula shared a glance with one another before bursting into a fit of giggles.

You knew you would have great times with these two.

~~~

Masterlist

Taglist form

[fluffymcu]

Grades (Tony x daughter!reader)

Sorry if this is crappy, it’s 1am and I haven’t slept for three days straight so I’m really tired and my brain is functioning correctly 🙃 but enjoy @mettatonlover858

Warnings: bit of angst? Fluff. Kinda dry friendship with peter? Idk why I wrote it like this but I did.

Your grades were slipping. It want your fault though. You were very smart. You were Tony Stark’s daughter so that wasn’t a doubt you were a genius. But it’s just that one kid in class that has to break someone down to feel better about themselves. At first you always brushed it off or ignored it, but as time went on, you found yourself being affected by it. Peter would defend you most of the time when he was there to hear it, but he wasn’t always around when it happened. And although you had inherited a lot from your father; his stubbornness, looks, and smarts, you didn’t inherit his self confidence or ability to spit out sarcastic remarks. You were a sensitive person. So it was hard for you to stand up for yourself.

“What am I gonna do?” You mumbled, rubbing your eyes with your palms. “My dad’s gonna get after me for letting my grades get this low.” Peter looked at you with sympathy.

“I wish u could tell you what to do. But I really don’t know. I’m really sorry y/n/n.” You sighed, nodding.

“It’s fine. I know I’m keeping you from your patrol. Go ahead. Be careful.” You watched as peter pulled over his back back and went for the door.

“Well, let me know it goes.” Peter said.

“Ok.” You watched peter leave and got your stuff and left his house to go home. Maybe you don’t have to tell him about it yet? Maybe you can wait a couple of weeks and get your grades back up again before he finds out? You sighed, agreeing with yourself that that was what you were going to do.

As you got home, your plan was ruined as you were met with your fathers eyes, laced with anger and disappointment. Your stomach dropped and you stood there.

“Umm.” You gulped, waiting for anything to happen.

“Your teacher called.” That was all you had to hear before you turned your gaze to the floor, ashamed. He took a few steps towards you. “Your grades are so. Low. It’s. Insane.” He ground out. You sighed.

“I can explain that-“ you tried to say before he cut you off.

“No y/n zip it. This is unacceptable! You were put in this school to succeed and get good grades. What’s the point in going to a good school if you’re gonna get grades like you’re getting?!”

“I know, but-“

“And it’s not just that, you’ve been so out of it lately, first the sudden quietness out of you, next the locking yourself in your room constantly, shutting yourself off, and now these grades! What has gotten into you? I don’t understand-“

“That’s right you don’t understand!” Your snapped, tears stinging your eyes. “You don’t understand what it’s like to be picked on every single day and not being able to do anything for yourself because you’re too shy and sensitive to fight back because you’re you! You’ve never had a problem saying what you think or putting someone in their place. But I do! So I do understand why you don’t get why this is happening. And I don’t expect you to understand. I’m trying my best!” You sniffled, making a beeline to your room, shutting the door, leaving your dad standing there surprised.

Tony left you to your room to calm while he did the same. He spent time trying to connect the dots, everything that had been happening. He mentally facepalmed at the fact that he never thought to ask you if there was anything going on. He sighed deeply and made his way to your room. He knocked softly before trying to turn the doorknob, only to find it locked.

“Y/n? Can you let me in?” He asked softly, his heart cracking at the sound of your sniffling.

“You don’t need to give me another speech. I get it. I’ll get my grades up, I’ll figure something out.” You whined.

“I’m not here to do that y/n/n. Just let me in. Please?” You sighed before getting out of bed and unlocking the door. As soon as he stepped in, he pulled you into a hug.

“I’m so sorry y/n. I should’ve asked you long ago if something was wrong. I didn’t know you were being bullied.” You calmed down a bit now that he apologized, and you were able to catch your breath. “Why didn’t you tell me someone was bullying you hon’? You know you can tell me anything.”

“I know. I guess I just didn’t want to bother you with it. I though I should just deal with it on my own.” Tony pulled you away, holding onto your shoulders.

“Listen. I’m your father. I’m here to help with your problems. As long as I’m here, you should never have to deal with anything like this alone.” You smiled lightly and once again leaned in to give him a hug.

“Thank you daddy.” You sighed. Tony’s heart warmed at the name you used to call him when you were younger, making him think back to all the memories he had of you two.

Tony sighed and rubbed your back. “Don’t you wish we could go back to simpler times? It just seems as if the older we get, the bigger our problems become.” You nodded, a small smile gracing your lips.

“Yeah,” You chuckled. “Back to the times where the biggest problem I had was dropping my ice cream cone.” Tony laughed as he looked down at you, remembering the time you dropped your ice cream and refused to replace it.

You gasped, staring at the fallen scoop on the floor. Your favorite flavor at the time: strawberry.

“Uh oh. What happened?” Tony asked, trying not to laugh at your dramatically distraught face.

“My ice cream!” You whispered before breaking into tears.

“Awwww.” Tony cooed as he picked you up and held you close as you cried. “It’s okay, we can get you another one.” He said, rubbing your back as you shook your head furiously.

“No, it’s over! It’s over!” You cried, covering your eyes with both your little hands.

“It’s not over baby, you can get another strawberry ice cream!” He chuckled, laughing at your dramatic response to the minuscule problem that could be simply fixed.

“There’s no use!” You shook your head, refusing to take the second cone your dad was offering you. Your dad sighed and gave up, eating the ice cream himself. You looked at him, furrowing your eyebrows before snatching the cone out of his hands, quickly eating it. “Mine!”

“You were so cute. Still are.” Your dad laughed. You shook your head, blushing.

“No m’not.” You mumbled, your heart suddenly feeling heavy as you recalled ask the mean things your classmate told you.

“You’re so ugly it hurts!”

“Nobody careers about you. Even your own mother left you on your father’s doorstep, not giving a crap about you.”

“You’re useless.”

“Yeah you are. Doesn’t matter what those kids say to you.” Tony looked at your downhearted form.

“You don’t even know the things they say to me.” You whisper. Tony frowned and held your hands in his.

“What do they say sweetheart?” You didn’t want to say, knowing it would upset him, but knowing him, he wasn’t leaving until he knew everything.

“Just stuff like I’m useless and nobody loves me. Sometimes that I’m ugly or fat. And if they hear me laugh at something they’ll say my laugh is annoying or something. It’s not a big deal.” You shrugged. Tony’s eyes darkened at the comments you echoed.

“No big deal? The fact that it’s affecting you means it’s a really big deal. I’m so sorry they’re saying those things. They’re just jealous assholes who want to bring people down.” He pulled you into another hug, your back to his chest and resting his head on your shoulder. “You’re a beautiful girl y/n. Your body is perfectly fine and your not fat at all. And your laugh is not annoying sweetheart, I promise. I actually wish I could hear it more often. Ever since this bullying started, your laughter just became non existent over time.”

You nodded slightly, wanting to believe what his words but you weren’t quite there yet. These guys had really brought your self esteem low and you hated them for it.

“You wanna pull off a miracle and smile for me?” Tony teased, looking at you from your shoulder. You rolled your eyes, biting back a smile, avoiding his gaze. “Huh? Just a little smile?” When he was met with more silence, he twitched his finger into your side, smirking at your flinch. “I remember a little technique I used to use on you to get you gigglin’” He teased before full on scratching at your sides, trapping you in his grip.

You squeaked and arched your back, determined to get out of his iron grip (no pun indended) and biting your lip. “Dahad. Don’t.”

“Then just smile. It’s really not that hard.” He looked at you, not seeing what he wanted to see. “Not crackin huh? Well I remember the one thing that always made you crack.” He smirked before blowing a raspberry on your neck.

You squealed and smiled widely instantly, cursing at your dad’s evil method.

“There’s that award winning smile! Now let’s see if we can go a bit further and hear that precious laugh of yours.” He teased, picking you up and dropping you on your bed, straddling your thighs. He immediately went to work on your belly, your worst spot.

You screamed and let out loud belly laughter, kicking your legs out as much as you could with him sitting on them. “DAHAHAD NOHOHO! STOHOHOP!” You slapped at his hands,Tony only ignoring your protests and grabbing your arms in one hand to stop you.

“Listen to that beautiful laughter. Haven’t heard that in a while! I’ve missed it.” He sighed contently, speaking calmly unlike the hysterical giggles and screams coming from you.

“OHOHOKAY! I LAUGHED!” You shook your head and yelped when he targeted under your arms, scratching at the hollows.

“Well, yes, you laughed but you haven’t laughed in months. So you’re long overdue, missy.” He tease, shaking his fingers into your ribs, making you arch your back violently and and scream.

“NOHOHOHOHO DAHAHADDY PLEHEHEHEASE STOHOP!” The feeling was unbearable especially since you couldn’t use your arms to block his evil hands.

“Hang in there I’m almost done. This is the last thing I need to do, but this might tickle a lot. Just warning you.” He smirked before shaking his face into your belly, making sure his beard is doing its job.

You let you and inhuman scream as you shook your head side to side. You couldn’t stop laughing as he rubbed his face into your belly, mumbling and “I love you so much.” Making your laughter go up an octave, before blowing a big raspberry right above your belly button.

This made your laughter go silent after a desperate squeal, your body laying there exhausted, just being able to lay there and take it. Tony let you go with a chuckle and got of you, sitting next to you on the bed.

You panted loudly, holding onto your stomach trying to rub away the residual feeling tingling on your body. “That.. was cruel.” You panted.

“Oh, You’ll live.” Your dad brushed it off as he pulled you on his lap. “You’ll always be my baby, you know that right?” You nodded. “And you can come to me about anything. And I’ll do my best to help you with it. Tomorrow we’ll go speak to your teacher and see if she can give you anorher chance to improve your grades and see if she can do something about these kids making fun of you, Alright?”

You smiled, nodding. “Ok.”

For once in a really long time, things looked like they could finally get better.

[deadontheinsidebut]

Can I request a Tsukishima x reader where tsuki falls head over heels for the reader while watching her play volleyball? Sorry that its vague 😅 I just wanted to give you a lot of room for your own freedom since it would be your story! You dont have to do it and I'll understand if you dont! Thank you either way!!!

a/n: tysm for requesting girl!! How are you? It wasn’t a hassle at all. I like when people give me some room to write my own ideas. Anyway, I hope you like it. I’m sorry it took so long to do. I just wanted it to turn out right🥺🥺✨💖✨💖

Summary: Tsukishima isn’t the most enthusiastic when it comes to volleyball, but that changes when he meets the libero of Karasuno’s girls team.

Word Count: 927

“It was the feeling of seeing you soar across the court. You embodied the flight of the Karasuno crows while maintaining the stability of the libero. Watching you play makes me believe I can do anything. But more than that, I started to want to give it my all regardless of the outcome. I started to like you... a little more than just as friends.”

Tsukishima liked to play until the practice was over and leave immediately. There was no use in staying when there were other things to do outside of volleyball. He didn’t understand how players like Hinata or Kageyama could slave away at the sport and commit a lifetime’s worth to it. 

After an ordinary practice with the team, Tsukishima had managed to work up a sweat and was packing up to leave with Yamaguchi close by. As he made his way down the Karasuno hallway, he heard a loud thump echo from the girls’ gym. Tsukishima peered curiously through the door to see the libero make a dive to save the ball. She had an effortless grace that made her fall seem more like she was flying. 

His eyes followed her every move before a quick tug from Yamaguchi snapped him out of it. His eyes flutter from Yamaguchi to the libero in the gym before making his way towards the front entrance. 

‘Tch’ he thought to himself with a quick shake of his head. 

It’s not like she was any better than Nishinoya or anything... so why was he so intrigued? 

Another tedious practice went by and he nodded goodbye to his team before heading out. Yamaguchi had decided to stay in hopes of improving his float serve, which was completely reasonable of him considering the upcoming matches would be pretty difficult if their team wasn’t in top shape. 

With his hands in his pockets he began to wonder what he would’ve thought of volleyball if he never had to experience his brother’s betrayal. The memories played through his head like a broken song. His aloof thoughts caused him to bump into a small form and knocked them both back a little.

“Oof,” a small voice cried out before landing on the floor. 

“Watch where you’re go-” Tsukishima grumbles out before recognizing the girl to be the libero he had watched the other day. 

“That hurt, you know,” you mutter as you pick herself off the ground. 

“It’s you...” 

“Huh? Do I know you?” you ask while tilting your head in confusion. 

“Nah. Watch where you’re going next time alright?”

You had your hair tied up in a messy ponytail and was drenched in sweat from practice. Your knees were all bruised up and you had friction burns on your elbows from sliding against the floor. 

“Wait, you’re the boys’ team’s middle blocker right? That super tall one! I saw you play against Johzenji,” you realize, your grin growing, “you made a really good block when the team was struggling to adapt to their unorthodox methods!”

“Uh, ya that’s me,” he responds bashfully. No one has ever noticed him like that before. 

“Wow! If I were as tall as you, I’d definitely try out as a middle blocker. My parents hate the constant bruising I get from being a libero,” you ramble on. 

“At least you’re good at it,” he remarks nonchalantly.

‘Crap why did I say that. Now she’ll know I’ve been watching her.’

“Aha, I suppose. I’m y/n. Nice to meet you.”

“Tsukishima Kei. Likewise.”

~1 Year Skip~

That introduction was the start to a long and unlikely friendship between the two of you. Not only have you managed to befriend the stoic and cold salt-shaker, you’re also on a first name basis.

Something about your enthusiasm for the world around you piqued his interest but he claims it is because you are so easy to aggravate and that is why he sticks around. 

“So if I stop reacting to your teasing, you’ll leave?” you ponder aloud.

He raises an eyebrow at your proposition. 

“Try it then, you brat,” 

“Hmph, you’re a meanie, Kei,” you pout as you cross your arms in annoyance. 

“You just proved my point. I guess I’m not going anywhere anytime soon,” he remarks slyly. 

The constant banter between the two of you was a constant in both yours and the teams’ lives. They were constantly pulling the two of you off of each other, but at the end of the day, it was all in good fun. 

You see, Tsukishima had never felt anything for anyone the way he did for you so his interactions with you were uncharted territory. And it seems the more he talked with you, the more lost he became. 

Tanaka and Nishinoya were constantly trying to set the both of you up, but Tsukishima’s logical mind deduced from their behaviour what they were up to. 

This went on for a little longer before he realized that this icky feeling was ‘love.’ Nonetheless, you were still oblivious to all the feelings and schemes of the Karasuno teams and often wondered why Tsukki lectured Tanaka and Noya almost every week. 

Perhaps you two were two young to fall in love, or maybe, the little pieces of your heart that fell for him have yet to put themselves together. Regardless of that, the love between the two of you is genuine and bound to blossom. And maybe one day Author-chan will write a lovely confession between you two using the excerpt she wrote at the beginning of this fanfiction. Only time will tell...

a/n: BAHAHAHA idk why i’m so troll I’m so sorry!! Literally let me know if you want a confession scene but these two lovebirds are so blind to their feelings and I already know Tsukki is in love with Reader-chan but isn’t it sm more mysterious when I leave the ending ambiguous? 0.o

[when-residents-are-evil]

Entry #2

A/N: Heya! Entry #2 is here ^^ I’m really excited t oget the story going but I need to keep it slow for now, which is frustrating as hell. I’m considering writing an actual fic for Samael following the journal, or maybe I’ll switch to a fic towards the end. Idk yet. Hope you’ll like it!

17th April 2018

08h12

I thought I'd start adding time stamps. Maybe it'll help keep things organized, you know?

It takes me around 20 minutes to go from my house (the one I'm 'borrowing') to the center of the village. It might be 20 minutes too much if I have a problem one day. But it's the best I'll find for now.

17th April 2018

My arm is taking it's sweet ass time to heal. I'm also getting short on Lei, so I should either find a way to get more or hunt my own food. I need to keep some for when I'm out of here and on my way home. I'll make an exception for medical stuff (and food for now, at least until I get my hands on a fishing rod or something).

I don't know how to fish, though. Or hunt. Or what toxic plants grow around here.

How did I even survive a week?

__________________________________________

08h37

The Duke isn't there yet, so I'm trying to get info; chat up the villagers and all.

Problem #1: people here don't like me and aren't talkative.

Problem #2: I'm socially incompetent.

These two things really don't mix well. I’m not a people person, and my lack of social skills is embarrassing.

Example numero uno: I legit asked a baker "So, you like bread, huh?"

He gave me a weird look (as you do) and I ran away before I could melt with shame. I hate myself. I'm a fucking clown. No wonder they're not found of outsiders, what the fuck was I thinking. My entire bloodline, back to my prehistoric ancestors, is most likely cringing right now.

At least my mom didn't see me.

Alright, enough socializing for today.

__________________________________________

09h12

Apparently the Duke opens up at 09h in the morning. He's still setting up his shop, so I'll give him a moment before going to him.

This man has a lot in store. I  have no idea how he gets all this stuff, and I'm tempted to ask him to let me go with him next time he goes out of town. I don't want to sound innapropriate, though. And, as nice as he is, I have a feeling he wouldn't do such a huge favor without asking for something in return (let's be honest, I can't blame him). I don't know what he would ask me for, and I doubt I'd be able to grant it.

Let's try it out on my own first. I'll ask him for help if I'm desperate.

__________________________________________

10h03

So, I took my time with the Duke today. He refused to say more about the four doors and why I can't cross them, but I guess I should go into a little more details about them?

Okay. The Duke's shop is somewhat in the center of the village. There are five big paths, four which are blocked by huge wooden doors. The only one that doesn't have a door is the one to the village. There's an atlar at the crossroad between the paths. They all have a detailed crest on them. One of the paths lead to the castle towering over the village. I'm almost sure that the castle itslef is as big as the village. I think there's a way to access it from the church (thing the Duke told me would be dumb as all hell). The second path seems to lead into the forest, a little higher up the mountain. I can see a river from here, and I think there's a house all the way up, but I can't really see it. The third path leads straight down to a submerged part of the village. No idea who would want to live in the most inhospitable part of this dumpster, but okay. The last door seems to lead to a large road cut by the river, up a hill. I can see smoke from here, and according to the Duke, it's a factory of some sort.

He still won't tell me about the people owning these pieces of land, but I'm sure at least one of the villagers will tell me something. I don't even need details yet, I just want generic informations.

Oh, and I got a fishing rod and a hunting knife.

__________________________________________

16h22

Finally! I met someone willing to talk!

Her name is Louisa. Or is it Luiza? I don't know how to spell it, I'll ask her later.

She's a middle aged woman, and when I asked her if she could tell me litterally anything about this place, she invited me for lunch. She's a sweetheart.

The whole 'pray for Mother Miranda's good graces' bit was uncomfortable to say the least, but she's nice, generous and welcoming, so I'm not going to complain. I think I should write the prayer down, just in case.

She helped me identify the crests on the doors. Apparently, four Lords live here and rule over the region. They're all dangerous, feared, and never show up. They all answer to Mother Miranda. So, not trustworthy. I'll give them each an entry. Luiza didn't want to tell me too much about them, and she looked really uncomfortable with my questions, so I didn't push it. I only have their names and house crests, but I'll figure out the rest later. I should also make an entry for Mother Miranda. Always nice to record infos about a cult leader.

She told me the monsters never set foot inside the village, because Miranda keeps them away. Not so sure about that last part, ma'am, but okay. And to be honest, I don't think everyone is a believer because I've seen big metal doors clolsed with chains more than I've seen birds here. And there are a lot of birds. So that says a lot.

__________________________________________

18h10

I almost arrived too late. But the night isn't completely settled yet, so I'm good. I'll go back to the doors tomorrow to draw the crests on the Lords' entries.

People here have electricity and guns, but no running water? Who's in charge of the logistic here?

In any case, I hope the gash on my arm won't get infected because I don't have antibiotics with me. And I'm almost out of disinfectant. At least I didn't have to redo the stitches. I should ask the Duke if he can find me some meds, just in case. Anyway, I'll start the entries, and tomorrow, I'll add their crests. Also, I need to update the bestiary.

[purplesurveys]

1192

Have you ever tried a colorful macaroon? Maybe you mean macarons? I’ve never seen a macaroon with food coloring before.

Do you say macaroon or macaron? It depends on what I’m referring to because they’re two different kinds of food.

Do you know what a macaroon is? Yes, they taste terrible.

Would you rather go to Paris or London? Both sound a bit too boring of a trip for me tbh, I’d rather go to other European cities.

Which national flag do you like the best? I’m not that into flags to have a favorite...I like how Nepal’s has a unique shape, though.

Name 3 celebrities people say you look like. Lucy Hale, Anna Akana, and a local celebrity you wouldn’t know about.

^Do you agree? I never saw myself looking like Anna but that’s actually the most common one I get, so I just might not know my face all that well. The only one that’s agreeable enough with me is the last celebrity I mentioned.

Do you know anyone who looks like Taylor Swift? No, especially not on this side of the planet.

Have you ever been betrayed by a best friend? Yes but that was like back in the fifth grade. I’ve been very selective of my friends ever since.

What color is the sweatshirt that you wear the most? Black.

Do you have a mirror in your room? No. I don’t really feel as if I need it.

What was the last thing you painted? I last painted on a paint-by-numbers kit, but it’s been a while since I took up the hobby. I want to get back around to it someday, but proably not any time soon as I find it a tad bit time-consuming.

Do you correct grammatical errors online? Not other people’s, but yeah I edit my posts whenever I catch a typo or grammar error. I also edit survey questions if they aren’t in proper grammar, just so other people who’d want to take the same survey won’t have to deal with it and point it out anymore.

What’s the last thing you made out of clay? I’ve only done pottery once, and that time I was taught how to make a vase. I wasn’t able to see the end result though since they still had to bake it and everything, and I was only staying in that town for a few days.

Do you go for days without washing your hair? No, I absolutely hate that feeling. My hair starts getting itchy after a day or so of not washing it and it feels irritating, so I feel the need to shower everyday.

When is the last time you had scrambled eggs and bacon? Maybe around a week ago? It’s something my parents make regularly for breakfast, alongside other local breakfast dishes.

Do you like bacon bits on your salad? I don’t really eat salad but sure, I’ll take some bacon in mine.

What is your favorite salad dressing? See above.

What is your favorite kind of soup? Not a big soup person either. I suppose I’m most enthusiastic about miso soup, if anything.

Do you eat a lot of soup? Not at all. I don’t think I ever purposely ordered it at a restaurant either; I only consume soup if it already comes as a freebie with my order.

Do you collect Mason jars to use for crafts? Nope, was never a hobby of mine. This reminds me that I have a mason jar filled with date receipts and love notes on tiny Post-Its from my last relationship, though...I literally can’t remember if I’ve since thrown it out, but I also haven’t seen it in a while...hm. I guess I’ll try looking for it later today and throw it away if I do find it still lying around in my room.

What’s a trend that you never caught on to? Remember when I said streetwear like, literally a month ago? Lmaoooooo I’m into it now. That’s why I’ll just skip over this question HAHAHAHA I always end up being obsessed with the things I swear off in the beginning :((((

What’s a trend that you haven’t caught on to yet, but you want to? Vlogging? It’d be nice to make a video or two of my own.

Do you type fast? Very. My co-workers recently started sharing this typing speed website that we’re all free to try out and so far I’m the official reigning champion haha. No one has beaten my WPM record yet.

Did you learn to type through a computer program for kids? Yes. I never adopted the ‘standard’ finger practice though; I type only with my index and middle fingers.

How many years were you homeschooled? I was never homeschooled.

If applicable, what’s a youtuber you would love to collab with? Louise Pentland.

Do you think you’re successful in life? Not quite there yet, but I’m comfortable with the way I’m working towards it for now. It’s nice to be doing things that I know will lead to something in the future.

What color is the tree outside your window? If you mean the leaves, then green.

What color is your rug, if you have one? (not carpet, rug) I don’t have one in my room but the main one we have in the living room is brown.

What do you take for pain? I take a Biogesic pill for headaches. If I get muscle sores/strains, I rub Katinko on the spots that hurt.

Which pharmacy do you use? I never need to go to those but I can always take a drive to the nearby Mercury Drug.

Do you reapply nail polish when it starts to chip? I don’t wear nail polish at all.

What is this month’s calendar picture? I don’t use a calendar.

What was the last thing you ate? Sushiiiiiiiii. I made a very impulsive and rash decision to buy THREE ORDERS of sushi yesterday. I hadn’t eaten all day and I also had a crappy at work, and my clouded judgment thought buying 24 pieces of maki was the way to go. I’m still in the stage of trying to convince myself I deserved it anyway.

What are your favorite things to put in tea? I don’t drink tea tea, but when I buy milk tea I always go for chocolate flavors. I also don’t like pearls in my milk tea.

Do you wish the Unicorn Frappuccino was a regular drink at Starbucks? I never go for customized drinks, so I don’t care at all about this.

Is there a coffee shop in your town that’s better than Starbucks? Possibly, but I may not have checked it out yet. For now, I like buying from Starbucks.

Do you frequent any coffee shops? Back in college I used to alternate between Starbucks and Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf; I’d go several times a week to either because coffee shops were the best place to study at.

What’s your favorite Lisa Frank character? I was never aware that there were characters lol. I thought it was only her.

Which Disney character looks the most like you? Raya for sure, but before her, I felt a big connection with Moana.

Did you go to Disney World or Disneyland as a kid? No, I haven’t gotten to go yet. It would be nice if my first time could also already be a trip with my own kid in the future :)

Do you live with a demon? Talk about creepy question lol. No.

Who has the best personality on youtube? Who cares? < I mean, same. I’m sure they all put up a show to some extent - I don’ think anyone would ever know the answer to this...but personally, those whose personalities I find really endearing would beeeeee Grace Helbig, Kelsey Impicciche, Kelsey Darragh, and Andrew Ilnyckyj.

What are some of your goals for this year? Stay employed, be better at my job, collect more BTS albums.

Does it feel like spring yet? We don’t have spring, so I don’t know what that would feel like.

What do you do to celebrate Earth Day? I don’t wait until April 22 to do something for the planet.

How do you celebrate Easter? I don’t.

Have you ridden your bike yet this year? I can’t ride bikes, haaaaa.

What does your bike look like? The family bike has some blue and grey on it. Not that I ever practice riding it.

What is your favorite place that you’ve lived? I like the house that we live in now. I like that we have a rooftop and that we don’t live with extended family.

Do you shop at Aeropostale? No, and I’m not sure we have Aeropostale shops here. The only reason we ever got Aeropostale items of clothing in the past was because relatives living in the States would occasionally bring home a box of pasalubong for us here in the Philippines.

What’s the last thing you wore from Aeropostale? Idk, probably a shirt. Have you ever been to a church that just wanted your money? Aren’t all churches like that? < Can agree and can confirm. My local parish has been undergoing a ridiculously extravagant renovation for years now and the thing is that the renovation is meant to be so fucking fancy they clearly can’t afford it, so they’ve been pooling money from churchgoers for years now as well. When we could still physically attend mass I used to keep myself from laughing everytime one of the church staff would come up on the podium and ask for money again.

Who is someone you are struggling to forgive, if applicable? I don’t struggle to forgive. I just don’t forgive. If someone does me wrong I just do my best to block them out of my memories, get into the mindset that they never existed, and live peacefully from there.

Have you ever had someone try to intentionally bully you to suicide? I don’t think so, at least not intentionally. My mom always did it unintentionally though, especially in my tween and teen years. She was always very harsh with her words and actions (she still is, but we don’t butt heads as often anymore). I didn’t have a very good emotional foundation mainly thanks to her and I had to claw my own way to get to be the much more stable self I am today.

What’s your favorite type of cereal? Sweet ones.

Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? I never babysat kids outside of younger relatives.

Who is your favorite cousin? My eldest cousin from my mom’s side. I’ve always viewed him more as a brother than a cousin since we did live under the same roof for nearly a decade before my family moved to our own home.

Does one side of your family live in another state? My family is spread out everywhere, dude. I have relatives living in another town, another city, another province, another region, another island, another country. Idk about cultures but that’s generally how Filipino families are to begin with.

What states did your parents grow up in? I’m not saying that.

Do you want kids? If yes, how many? It would be nice. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to find someone I would want to marry and have a family with. It definitely seems bleak, but then again I’m 23 lmao. I’m not in a hurry.

What’s a craft that you’ve seen online that you don’t think will work? Most of the shit that that 5 Minute Crafts channel or whatever they’re called puts out.

What, if anything, are you severely allergic to? Grass.

Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? Nopes.

How do you react to bee stings? I’ve never been stung and I hope that never happens to me.

Is there a good hospital where you live? I’m not so sure; I don’t take trips to the hospital frequently.

What’s your favorite kind of tea to drink in the spring? I never drink tea. Never been my...cup of tea? Hahahaha.

What are your favorite biblical names for girls? Elizabeth and Eden.

…for boys? Luke, Noah, Jacob, Seth.

What color nail polish do you usually wear in the spring? Again, I never put on nail polish.

What’s your favorite color that you’ve dyed your hair? I haven’t tried dyeing my hair either :( It’s something I want to explore, though.

Do you ever eat ice cream in the winter? We don’t have winter but yeah, I’m not opposed to having ice cream when the climate is on the cooler side.

How often do you wash your sheets? Every month or so.

What was the name of the biggest bully in your high school? No one got away with pulling that kind of shit in my old school.

^Did everyone hate her/him? -

^Were you his/her target? -

[feistypaants-archived]

Between The Pipes [Chapter 19]

Rating: M Words: 2241 Pairing: Kristanna Summary: When a new owner takes over the Arendelle Ice Breakers, Kristoff isn’t sure about his future with the team. That is, until a PR nightmare throws the newest member of the media team, who also just so happens to be the daughter of the new owner, right into his arms. Kristoff and Anna can’t even stand the interviews they have to do together… how on earth are they going to fix this mess? Hockey!AU.

[Chapter Index]

Where To Read: [AO3]

Notes: idk !! This chapter wouldn’t come out how i wanted it to. At least they talked, kind of, even if it’s... still bad and they’re still kind of dumb. 

They just want to be together, it doesn’t matter how, dumb children.

Enjoy!

Anna hadn’t seen Kristoff in five days. 

Rather, she had seen him, but then immediately ran the other direction before he could see her. He had texted her just once, asking if everything was okay, if they could talk about everything, and Anna had… not replied. She was busy, yeah, that was it. He wasn’t playing so she didn’t see him at games, and she started avoiding practices since she wasn’t required to attend them.

But it had been five days, and she needed to stop avoiding this.

Kristoff did extra practice on his own while on leave from playing, and Anna made sure she’d be able to catch him. She came early, while the rest of the team was still on the ice, and sat patiently in the wings, waiting for the rest of them to leave. She wasn’t even sure what she was going to say, but there was something in her gut that told her it would come to her at the right moment. 

Standing and heading towards the ice, she startled when she heard another voice calling her name.

“Anna?” Sven asked, practically trotting up to her in his full gear. “Hey, um, glad you’re here.”

She blinked up at him for a moment before giving him her best smile. “Yeah, I’m… here to talk to Kristoff. We’ve, um, been fighting… a bit…”

Sven waved his hand between them, shaking off his glove. “Nah, I know about the… situation.”

Oh. She shouldn’t have been so surprised.

“Look, ah,” he placed a hand on her shoulder and led her a little off to the side. “I…” he sighed, blowing out a deep sigh. “I know that it’s fake, and that… maybe you’re not feeling some sort of way but…” He looked towards the ice, frowning. “Kristoff… he’s… gentler? I guess, than he lets on. His feelings…” he sighed. “Just, look, that’s my boy, that’s my best friend, right?” 

Anna nodded.

“Don’t hurt him, okay?” He patted her and shrugged. “That’s… that’s it. Whether you guys come up with something together or… I don’t know. Just… please don’t make it worse, for him.”

She wasn’t sure what to say, so she swallowed the tightness in her throat and nodded again. “Yeah,” she hummed, feeling stupid.

Sven gave her one more curt nod before leaving.

Anna wasn’t entirely positive what that had been about, but if Sven felt like he had to say something to her, she was pretty sure ignoring him had been the worst thing she could have done. A heavy sigh and a short, internal pep-talk later, Anna headed towards the ice. 

She watched him for a moment. He had pulled their shooting machine onto the ice and was blocking difficult, fast and hard shots one after another until he wore himself out. After one particularly difficult five-hole save, the machine whirred to a stop, and Kristoff dropped to his knees on the ice.

“Nice save,” she called, growing tense when his head turned to her.

Kristoff stayed silent, simply shook off his glove and began gathering pucks.

“I wanted to talk.”

She heard him laugh. “Oh, all right. Now she wants to talk.”

“Kristoff —“

He pushed his mask up on his forehead and glared at her, sweat dripping from his hair. “I’m not yelling this across the ice, and I’m not stopping. So get out here if you want to talk.”

Hesitating, she braced her palms against the boards. “I… can’t skate. I’m actually kind of scared of skating, I could not tell you why.””

Kristoff sighed as he piled up the pucks on top of the machine. “Go get some skates from the supply room.”

“What?”

He pushed his mask back down over his face. “Get some skates. You need to learn before the family skate event.”

Kristoff didn’t seem like he had any interest in arguing, so she left, let the supply manager properly size her feet, and came back about thirty minutes later, skates in hand.

She supposed he had done another few rounds while she was gone, because he was just getting off the ice and working on removing the bulkiest of his gear. She hardly had a moment to admire his sweat soaked undershirt before he was pulling a hoodie on over his head and sitting down to unfasten his leg pads.

Sighing and trying to keep herself lighthearted, Anna let herself practically fall into the seat beside him, holding up the skates so he could see. “It does not surprise me that you’re making me do this right now.”

He laughed a little, then, and looked up at her. “Well, how bad would it look if my own girlfriend couldn’t even skate?”

Anna smiled, an apology on the tip of her tongue before he stood up, knelt before her, and held up a hand. She looked at him, confusion clearly written on her features, before he pointed at the skate and made a give it here motion with his hands. She did, and before she knew it, he was very gently placing her feet into the skates, adjusting them around her ankles, and tying them -

“Ow, ow.”

“Sorry.”

- just a little too tightly. 

Kristoff stood up off the ground, dusting his knees, and held out a hand to help her off the bench. “How do they feel?”

Anna grimaced and rocked up on her toes, using his firm hand for balance. “Like I’m walking on a blade. So, I suppose, how they’re supposed to feel.”

“You get used to it.” He started walking backwards, guiding her to the door that let out onto the ice, and stepped onto it with such ease that Anna felt herself tensing up knowing that there was no way it was as simple as it looked. 

She laughed, pulling back from him. “No, no, that’s… that’s slippery.”

“Well, yeah,” he chuckled too, leaning against the boards and bringing his face so close to hers that Anna could feel his breath. “It’s ice.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” she pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.

Kristoff pushed back, amusement lighting his entire face up. “But you make it so easy.”

Anna tried to fight the smile that was stretching her cheeks, but it was absolutely no use. This was the Kristoff she had been starting to like - the one who teased her with ease, who played and smiled but still took her seriously and liked her the way she was — at least… she thought he did.

“Seriously though, come here, just… step on sideways and put your weight… yeah,” he held out his hands and helped guide her onto the ice. “Yeah, like that, it helps you not just fall immediately on your ass.”

Anna laughed, one hand on him, the other gripping the boards with fear. “At least there’s some cushion back there.”

He groaned. “Come on, don’t mention your ass.”

“You mentioned it first!”

Kristoff couldn’t help but smile. “Well it’s nice, all right, so sue me. I am still a man.”

Anna lifted her other hand from the boards, trusting him to catch her if she slipped. “All right, all right, teach me the ways of the hockey player.”

He taught her the basics, how to move, how to stop, how to shift your weight to turn, and soon enough Anna was skating with, well, relative ease as he kept his hands right there in case she needed him. It only happened once, where she tripped over her own skates and fell backwards, sighing with relief as his hands caught her under her arms and righted her almost immediately.

“See?” Kristoff was grinning as he skated backwards in front of her, mirroring the smile she couldn’t wipe off of her own face. “Easy, right?”

Anna nodded as she found her rhythm, glad that this really wasn’t as difficult as it seemed to be, and followed him around the ice for a little while longer. “Yes, but my feet hurt now.” She started heading towards the exit and stumbled just a little as she heard the scratch of him sliding to a stop. But soon enough they were both back on the bench, Anna unlacing her skates as Kristoff started to gather up some of his gear.

She needed to say something, right? She couldn’t just ignore this forever.

“Kristoff… I’m… I’m sorry.”

He shrugged and scratched at the back of his neck. “Yeah, me, too.”

“For… ignoring you a bit.”

“Yeah.” He dropped his stuff and sat back down beside her. “Look, Anna… Like, I know I was kind of an asshole -“

“Kind of?”

“Right, totally an asshole,” he laughed and shrugged again, dropping his head a bit. “But… I don’t know. I’m just sorry for it. I was playing like garbage and I needed someone to blame, I guess.”

Anna nodded, her own shoulders lifting. “Did you figure it out?”

Kristoff laughed again, shaking his head. “Yeah. But it’s kind of shitty and embarrassing.”

She kicked her feet out and leaned back on the bench. “Lay it on me, Bjorgman.”

He sighed, spinning on the bench to face her, swinging so one leg rested on either side. “I was so, ridiculously pent up and frustrated because you’re just…” he gestured up and down with one hand. “You’re you and you’re nice and warm and fucking hot and I had to keep trying to convince myself that I didn’t actually like you because the truth of that was… too much.”

Anna had turned her head to look at him, a frown gracing her features. “Why?”

His throat bobbed, and he sighed. “I… I’m being serious when I say I don’t date. I don’t want to start something because… I… I want a family, Anna. I want a really big family, right?”

She swallowed and nodded, turning her eyes downward. 

“But… I don’t want to start anything until my career is done, because…” He ran a hand through his hair, shrugging. “I’m afraid I’ll be like my … like my dad. My birth…” He trailed off, tilting his head to the side and averting his gaze.

Anna turned to face him, her legs straddling the bench as well, and placed her warm hands on his knees. “What happened?”

“He…” Kristoff sighed, and looked at her again. “He only cared about being the best in the world. My mother left us and he didn’t care, and I was taken away… and he didn’t care. I…” He swallowed and then cleared his throat. “I think he was relieved, honestly. That he didn’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“I’m so sorry that happened to you, Kristoff…. but…” Anna felt her entire face soften, and couldn’t help but lean closer to him. “You do know that… dating someone doesn’t mean you have to have kids right away, yeah?” There was silence for a beat too long to be comfortable, before he looked away.

“The second I find the person I want to spend my life with,” he blew out a breath and let out one uncomfortable laugh. “I’m going to want to start that family. So…” He shrugged. “Better to not let myself even try, you know?”

She had to know. “So…” Anna pressed on, squeezing lightly where her hands still rested on his knees. “Why… why is liking me too much?”

Because she liked him. Because she wanted him to keep kissing her. Because she wanted him to let her in. Because —

“I… don’t want to think too hard about that,” he pulled back from her, his face hardening as he shut down again. 

“Okay,” she scrambled, wanting him to come back, to soften and keep letting her in. “Okay, that’s… that’s fine.” She bit her lip, wondering if she was about to make a mistake. “Could we just… have fun? For now?”

Kristoff blinked twice, but came back to her, his eyes narrowing with suspicion. 

“I mean,” she flushed, finally letting go of his knees to clasp her hands together in her own lap, staring down at them. “We’re still… pretending to date, right? And… yeah okay we haven’t talked about it but the other night was…” Anna sighed and laughed, pushing her bangs back. “It was really fun, right? Like that worked…” 

She couldn’t bear to look up at him now. 

“Like if we already have to spend all of our time together and we’re both pent up - like obviously we’re both really pent up - and it helps with your game or whatever maybe we can just…” Anna finally took a breath before looking up at him. “Try… something casual? Because it was fun and…”

She couldn’t read his expression, until the tiniest quirk of a smile started pulling on the corner of his lip. 

“I mean,” she sighed, crossing her arms in front of her chest to practically hold herself together. “I don’t need any sort of… commitment, or anything… If you… want to… I… wouldn’t mind… ”

He reached forward to slide a palm up her thigh and smirked. “I mean, yeah, shit, if you want to… How could I turn that offer down?”

And then he was kissing her, pulling her up into his lap, and the way his hands grabbed at every part of her was answer enough.

Maybe she was making a mistake… 

But fuck, she’d make it a thousand times more if it meant she got to have him, even just for a little while.

[quirkless-and-embarrassed]

Todoroki Shouto

I felt like doing a character meme!

Favorite thing about him:

Is it cheating to say everything? It is? Okay… I love how he’s painfully kind while also painfully bad with people. I love how he swore not to use his fire half, and he took that oath so seriously that he felt pulling Midoriya aside to apologize and explain (in depth) was necessary. I love that his hand trembled when he went to see his mom—especially that he was so afraid of being like Endeavor, he couldn’t bear to show his face to her for years in case she mistook him again. I love how he learns from his mistakes, whether it’s combat-related like blocking his field of vision against Stain or emotional like realizing how his spiteful focus on Endeavor has blinded him to the needs of people around him. I love how he doesn’t feel the need to posture and act like he has the answers: he can openly admit he doesn’t know and that he needs to reflect more to find the right path for him. I love how rude he is. I love how he unquestionably leapt to Midoriya and Iida’s aid in Hosu. I love his fight against Midoriya.

Least favorite thing about him:

Hmm…most of my problems are with Horikoshi, not Todoroki. I like that Todoroki’s reaction to Endeavor vs the nomu was complex, that he was afraid for Endeavor, cares about him, and is ambivalent about the idea of Endeavor’s “redemption,” but I wish his love for his dad had more of a foundation—from what Horikoshi shows us, I have no idea why he cares about Endeavor other than a vague, dissatisfying “he’s my dad” feeling. Why are Todoroki’s feelings more complicated than flawless loathing? What’s the basis for his ambivalent affection towards Endeavor? I wish I knew more.

Okay, for about Todoroki specifically in-universe…I guess I wish he would talk a little more. He seems like he struggles with finding a middle ground between saying nearly nothing and oversharing.

Favorite line:

That’s a nasty scar you got there *SLUUURP* and are you All Might’s lovechild. I also loved it when Todoroki glared dramatically at Endeavor and then failed hard at introducing himself to the kids.

…And I love the line where Bakugo stridently claims no, he will not tell stupid Deku his brand-new, top-secret hero name, and Todoroki cluelessly asks, “Could you tell me, then?”

BROTP:

Midoriya, Bakugo, Yaoyorozu, Iida—I think those relationships really speak for themselves <3

This fic made me love Todoroki and Kaminari, please give me Todoroki working on his sense of humor and he asks Kaminari for help, only to repeatedly and ignorantly roast Kaminari while attempting to learn.

Also, Asui and Todoroki are really underrated; I feel like they’d have understated but interesting chemistry. They’re both exceptionally blunt, and unlike some of the others, Asui is perceptive+grounded enough to notice how awkward and uncertain Todoroki is (instead of the coolest, handsomest boy in class image). I’d LOVE to see them talk about their siblings, since Asui is the oldest and she takes care of her mini frog siblings, and Todoroki is the baby of the family who’s trying to figure out his relationships with Fuyumi and Natsuo (and eventually, Dabi). Oh, and Asui has more respect for authority than Todoroki does, so also seeing them clash over that would be interesting.

Or! Maybe Todoroki finally, accidentally catches Hagakure in one of his area ice moves and feels really bad about it, so Hagakure teaches him to watch out for her by making a game out of sneaking up on him. She also exercises some teenage flirtation in his direction and he has no idea.

Or imagine Jirou trying to figure out if Todoroki has feelings for Momo and accidentally becoming friends as she susses him out and realizes he’s an irredeemable dork instead of ice prince badass. She’s appalled he doesn’t know much about music!

OTP Rarepairs:

Todoroki/everyone basically, so it’s more interesting to talk about my todo rarepairs than run of the mill ships. 

Todoroki/Shinsou is cute…they both enter class 1-a with the attitude “I’m not here to make friends” and get hit with a match versus Midoriya in the Sports Festival—oops! They both became heroes partly from antagonistic spite, to defy Endeavor / the stereotype of brainwashing, which throw long shadows over who they fear they could become, and despite being on the quiet side they’re both pretty dramatic. Idk much about Shinsou’s backstory, but he definitely has a bit of a depressed, wary aura about him together with his fiercely idealistic, “I will never be like that” attitude, a combination that would resonate with Todoroki.

Probably at first Shinsou would be pretty cold to Todoroki, since even after being accepted into class 1-a he’d have some lingering resentment for those who are naturally blessed and admission was a slam dunk, and, in an effort to prove himself against the quietest of the strongest students, he’d make it his mission to provoke+brainwash Todoroki. Despite himself, Shinsou gets attached as he tries to figure Todoroki out, and he realizes the sorts of obstacles this “naturally blessed, slam-dunk admission” student had to overcome to get here.

In short, I’m a sucker for it ok, brotp or otp i’m down, but also in this case the romantic element of seeing themselves in each other gets to me bad.

Second rarepair, Todoroki/Hawks—hear me out ok!! These two would have the funny elements of Hawks/Endeavor but without Endeavor’s grossness. Even after he makes pro, Todoroki admires Hawks as the number two hero whose playful, casual MO is radically different from his own, more solemn style, and Hawks delights in being obnoxious and pokes fun at the straightforward, a bit dense Todoroki every opportunity he gets. Todoroki recognizes Hawks’s playful demeanor and knows he’s joking, but…being a dork…he doesn’t know what to say, so he just responds with total seriousness. Hawks is perceptive enough to know Todoroki noticed the joke, and Hawks’s awareness of that transforms Todoroki’s awkwardness into a dry, deadpan sarcasm, and the two of them can actually, like…have banter.

Working with Hawks semi-regularly, Todoroki has to rise to the challenge of meeting Hawks’s quips with enough insight and empathy to intuit the bleaker truths behind Hawks’s facade as this guy who doesn’t want to work too hard. Todoroki grew up as Endeavor’s tool, Hawks grew up as the hero commission’s tool; Todoroki responded with defiance, Hawks responded with salty compliance; Todoroki prioritizes his personal moral compass over the law/government, Hawks prioritizes the government over both his moral compass and the law; and Todoroki admires All Might, whom Hawks professes not to be so fond of, while Hawks admires Endeavor, knows Dabi, and all the obvious issues that brings up—so I think these two have tons of common ground to build a rapport and also clash with each other in ways that would be interesting for their development. For example, Todoroki can tell Hawks it’s your power and encourage him to take hold of his own destiny instead of being used, and Hawks can help Todoroki work on the shortage of social acuity he inherited from Endeavor.

I love the brotp but the otp has such comedic potential fused with such tragic potential, like by taking hold of his fate Hawks makes some choices Todoroki can’t forgive, and by helping Todoroki learn to connect to people Hawks opens him up for a world of pain when things go south, I can’t resist.

NOTP:

As long as the execution is good, I’m good. A ship that I hate in one person’s hands, I might love in another’s.

Random headcanon:

Todoroki is the #1 cockblocker in Class A. Nobody kills romantic tension like Todoroki wandering in, oblivious to what he’s just interrupted.

Also, Fuyumi gave him The Talk.

Unpopular opinion:

Hmm…not sure how unpopular this is, but while Todoroki understands that Endeavor abused Rei, but I don’t think he understands that Endeavor abused him too. Clearly Todoroki understands that it was bad, but now he’s one of the best students in one of the best high schools in the country instead of on a psych ward (Rei) or in the ground (Touya), so he doesn’t realize just how bad it was. Sort of a, “I was strong enough to take it, so it wasn’t really bad, not like how he was to my mom.”

Also, I love tododeku and I love dadzawa, but I’m frustrated by the number of fanfics that portray Todoroki as meek and crushed under Endeavor’s boot, in need of rescue.

Okay, one last one, because I’m not sure how unpopular any of these actually are. I think Todoroki is actually pretty anxious to fit in with his peers? Like he seems pretty aloof and doing his own thing, but I think it’s more due to uncertainty over what to do than because he’s that naturally withdrawn.

Song I associate with him:

Unbreakable by Miracle, Ember by Katherine McNamara, and Brave by Riley Pearce come to mind.

Favorite picture of him:

OKAY HERE ARE A FEW

VS Midoriya – Todoorki’s whole awakening, self-actualization sequence is beautifully, beautifully animated. I love the flashes to black and white and the graceful, profound arc of Todoroki raising his left hand.

Ch43 – His haunted expression when he extinguishes his fire, forfeiting to Bakugo.

Ch63 – He looks so sweetly earnest when he realizes he screwed up by disregarding Yaoyorozu’s opinion, and he immediately takes action to fix it.

Ch112 – His badass expression when he and Inasa wordlessly team up.

Ch164 – His sour, cross expression when Endeavor embarrasses him.

I had to make some painful choices on which scenes to leave out, but I think five is enough.

I’ve also done these questions for Bakugo, Uraraka, Endeavor, Amajiki, Sir Nighteye, and Shinsou!

[rosaline-kei]

Hanji and Mikasa - A Series; Part 1

Title: Pain and Pills and No Peace

Disclaimer:I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.

Parts: ( 1 )

Synopsis: The idea of becoming the new Commander of the Survey Corps, the memories of comrades dying and the mere thought of more of them dying should she make a wrong move is driving Hanji Zoe further down into the dark path of insanity. Alone in the office in the darkest hours, Mikasa Ackerman enters the room quiet and distant to pass her a report. And the last thing either of them expects is for vulnerabilities to seep through from one of them. They were mere strangers—acquaintances at most—after all.

(PLATONIC Hanji and Mikasa)

Rated: T

Pairings: Hinted Levi Ackerman / Hanji Zoe

Read it also on / Please Leave a Review at:

Ao3 or FF net 

Author’s Note : I told myself to take a break from writing because of my stupid busy life, but something frustrating happened to me yesterday that I ended up spending my entire night writing this as a vent lmao.

I really love Mikasa and Hanji a lot as characters, and I wished they interacted more I guess and had a closer relationship(platonic) like a mother-daughter?? Idk haha; the idea just intrigues me. I hope it isn’t OOC.

This will be a series of one-shots/two-shots? (Under the series name 'Hanji and Mikasa' on tumblr tags and my ao3) BUT it won’t be updated normally; it’s just a side thing I’ll write when I have time and have Writer’s block I guess.

- - -

The brutal sounds of swords clashing against one another rang through the area, accompanied by the tragic suffocating screams of the living that abruptly halted once their corpses came crashing down on the rock-hard ground that reverberated relentlessly one after another. There was no end. Deafening roars left the giant monsters'—Titans'—mouth non-stop as they mercilessly trampled the ants beneath them along with their homes. It was like an earthquake. A bombing. It was so loud, so agonizing. So noisy. A titan-crazed woman like her should have been absolutely and undeniably thrilled at the mere sight of those beasts stomping their way towards her. But she was only human too, a human distressed by her fallen comrades that ceased to ever see life way beyond the walls and the vast Ocean. Freedom. They ceased to ever see freedom.

And that woman was none other than Hanji Zoe. She looked up wearily, knowing the fight must go on regardless. It had to go on. No matter how much she had lost, no matter how much she was losing it… the fight had to go on. The fight, the war, the battle it had to be carried out to the very bitter end until a victor emerges… right?

She looked up towards the papers she held. The papers she had to finish looking through before tomorrow came. Or maybe it was already tomorrow, Hanji couldn't tell for her curtains were closed shut, there wasn't any hope in that for a light to shine through. All she had was the lit lamp and other fixed lightings around her. But even with that, all she could see ahead was darkness.

She sat alone in her office. It was quiet, really. Silent as the dead. And yet, those dreadful memories came at her, haunting her with those excruciating sounds that never failed to send a shiver down her spine. It was a quiet room, but whatever was going on in her head was anything but that.

I shouldn't have been Commander. It didn't help that thoughts like that would intrude in her head frequently, worsening the voices. Why Erwin? Why me?

Eren had left—no, he had abandoned them not too long ago and travelled to the enemy's side. He went on ahead to pursue his mindless schemes that not even his close companions had an inkling about nor could they ever understand why. Not even a goodbye, had he left them with. He left without a warning, fled away to some island to achieve what he called 'freedom'.

"Not too long ago… you gave me solutions…" Hanji recalled all the experiments, all the fun she had with him. He had been Humanity's Last Hope. And that was what Hanji truly believed, for the results she obtained from him after countless experiments had undeniably paved a path for them to walk towards Freedom and hope. Away from those titans—cruel beings that Hanji was so helplessly fascinated with. But given the chance, Hanji rather trade her and their entire existence in exchange for all of them back. Her comrades. The ants they stomped on. "And now look at you… giving me problems and trouble." If it hadn't been for the knock on her door (a sound that she welcomed; it was better than the chaotic and piercing noises in her head.), she wouldn't have realised her clenched hand that came close to crushing the paper she was gripping. There was a sudden temptation to throw that paper away, everything on her desk away. Everything. She didn't want to be in this room, left alone with nothing but traumatic flashbacks and exhaustion. She didn't want to be in this room meant for a Commander. A position she believed she could never live up to. She—

The second knock on the door interrupted her disorderly train of thought, "Come in!" She quickly said, maybe a little too enthusiastically. Maybe even with more enthusiasm than how she was whenever she conducted those experiments of hers back then.

She hoped it was Levi. Please be Levi. It was selfish of her to think this, Hanji knew. Because even this late at night, she knew Levi and many others still had responsibilities to carry out. Nonetheless, she continued to wish for that Ackerman to appear. Perhaps he wasn't the best man to deal with someone who was in such a distraught and emotional state. But, if anything, he knew how to clean up messes. And more than anything, he was one of the few who could deal with the madness of Hanji Zoe. He was one of the few who understood her. He was someone close to her that she hadn't lost yet, and hoped to never lose ever. He was someone she needed company from. So please, she thought. Let it be—

"Sorry to bother." The feminine voice greeted her upon opening the door, and her height betrayed and ruined any remaining hope of Hanji's that it could be Levi. She was greeted by the other Ackerman. "It's Mikasa Ackerman. I have the reports you wanted from Armin."

"A-Ah…thank you. Place them here." Hanji gestured to the piles of reports that she still had to go through. She felt lucky that she hadn't given into the temptation to rip apart and throw everything away; because then she wouldn't know how to explain to Mikasa, who probably knew nothing of the true pain residing in her heart. She did feel disappointed that it wasn't Levi, but what could she expect? This wasn't a fairy-tale where happily ever after would appear so conveniently at the doorstep.

She watched Mikasa enter the room, and briefly envied her. The way she walked in was awfully graceful, her movements were smooth and the way she held Armin's report with such care made Hanji wonder how could she be so calm. Or maybe, it was just her in the entire Survey Corps who was going overly insane. If it weren't for the eyebags that betrayed Mikasa, Hanji would've been tempted to ask her how she got through it. The exhaustion. She had almost forgotten that people were different. Thus, they all dealt with things differently. And that included Mikasa.

Her pain could never be compared to Mikasa. They were all different. Mikasa currently grieved the loss of a loved one who was still alive and breathing but lost while Hanji suffered from her own inferiority complex she didn't even know she had. How could she fit in Erwin's shoes?

Mikasa placed the report down just as gently as the way she came in. She even took the initiative to straighten the pile of papers, eliminating any corners and edges that had been sticking out. Hanji nodded in thanks, and when she took a glimpse at Mikasa, she didn't understand. She couldn't decipher the emotions in her eyes nor face; aside from her weariness indicated clearly by her eyebags. Other than that, she looked blank. Even Levi who was similar to her in more ways than one, showed more emotion than this. Then again, he only ever let that vulnerability slip when he was alone with her. He could reveal so many things to her in a single look and without a single word. Perhaps it was because they were close, unlike how she was to Mikasa.

That or, her missing eye was the cause of her inability to see. To really see. And for a fleeting moment, Hanji pondered if the loss of her left eye was the reason why she couldn't see the damn solution to this mess.

"Do you need me to pass anything to anyone, Commander Hanji?" Hanji winced at the end of her question. Irritation and guilt filled her for a small second upon that reminder—that she was the Commander. She would take back her earlier nod of thanks she gave to the if she could, it wasn't the papers that needed cleaning up anyway. No, no Hanji… I'm being too… petty. It isn't Mikasa's fault. She doesn't know that I…don't want to…

"No, thank you for bringing it here. Thank you." Hanji wondered if she had sub-consciously said her thanks twice verbally because she felt bad for wanting to withdraw her nod of thanks earlier, for fixing and straightening the other reports. "You may leave."

Back to being alone, was what Hanji wanted to think before bracing herself from the attacks going on in her head. But Mikasa didn't move.

"Mikasa…? Is—"

"Sorry." She apologised, her eyes shifting towards the cupboards around the office. "May I ask something…?"

Did she notice the damn mess I'm in? Hanji pondered, anxiously. There were only a few people Hanji dared to let her guard down completely. And Mikasa wasn't one of them. She couldn't let her own subordinates see any more of her weakness, because she feared it may affect their faith in her.

Truth be told, she felt like sobbing on the ground right now like a damned whiny, bratty child because the stress was too much. It was all too much. Every decision had to be approved by her and a single wrong move and approval could cost another hundred soldiers. She missed and craved and wanted her life back as the scientist. Admittedly, she could take that life back. She could give up this title to someone probably more suitable. But because she trusted Erwin so much, she couldn't just carelessly and ignorantly toss this burden of a title away. She couldn't just run away. She couldn't. Because at the end of the day, Hanji wanted freedom too. It's just… she didn't want to seize it in a way as harshly as Eren.

"Yes, what is it?" Hanji forced a calmness in her voice, hoping that this solider worth a hundred wouldn't see through her façade.

"Do you have… any medicine here?" Mikasa queried, "I've been having… insomnia and headaches. It's been affecting my performance recently and I want it to stop. The infirmary cabinets are locked, and the nurses nor doctors aren't around right now…" She sounded so absurdly and naturally nonchalant as she said this that even if she was faking it, Hanji would be unable to tell. How does she do it?

Despite Hanji's natural curious nature, she chose not to pry. There was a line and she didn't want to cross. Besides, with all these tragedies happening… she was gradually forgetting what it felt like; to be a scientist. To be curious and to have one's curiosity piqued.

"Yes, I do. Hold on." Hanji opened one of her drawers, taking out an unopened bottle of pills and passed it to Mikasa. "Take one only. It's the stronger type. Afterwards, tell the others working to call it day. You need rest." She hadn't taken any pills for her exhaustion, and the only 'medication' she received for her suffering came in the form of a cup of tea prescribed by Levi. Even if she knew these pills could numb her pain and give her a temporary fake paradise, she knew better than to take them in her state right now. She knew better than to be too reliant on medicine like that, that could become a poison if Hanji ever went mad enough to decide to indulge on them as opposed to just simply take it. She didn't even know how and why she got them in the first place, and she couldn't care less about it.

Hanji watched her cautiously examine the bottle, before passing her a cup of water she poured for herself earlier, but never really got to drink. Maybe it was because she got a little too use to Levi's random appearance, coming in with two cups of tea that never failed to soothe her senses. She had almost forgotten that he was a busy man who had other matters to deal with, too.

"Here." She added, and Mikasa nodded in thanks before she took the cup, that had accidentally knocked itself against a pencil on the table, causing it to drop. "Ah—"

"I'll pick it up." Hanji assured, before bending down to search for the fallen stationary. Despite it being of a lighter sound as compared to the sounds of bones being crushed, Hanji found it all the same. Just as how the pencil presumably accidentally fallen, a single accident in her calculations, could result in more than a single death. Tsk… even a damn pencil can remind me of these things… She sighed as she thought this, before grabbing the pencil. Well, unlike the pencil… I can never bring them back up to life…

She remembered telling Mikasa something like that some time back.

'I also have people I want to raise back up…there are hundreds. It's painful, even so we have to step forward.'

They never talked about it since. They moved past it, and Hanji assumed it was a sort of understanding that didn't need any further confrontations. There didn't seem like there was a need to.

"Well, whatever…" Hanji muttered to herself as she slowly rose back up to her seat. And despite having one eye left that still required the assistance of a lens to see clearly, it was sharp enough to identify the danger that Mikasa had just placed herself in.

Hanji never felt her tiredness disappear so fast, nor did she think she would be able react so swiftly when her body had felt heavy this entire time. She hadn't physically felt her heart palpitate this quick in a while, and she hated that it was because of fear, yet again, and not because of some fun thrill. Her arm stretched out across the table and ruthlessly snatched Mikasa's own arm before she could ingest the pills she had in her palm. The force of her snatch inevitably caused the pills to drop on the ground, and the table had felt the impact from Hanji's rough movements and as a result, which caused the papers Mikasa helped arranged neatly to disperse and fall.

That other entirely different mess was the least of their concern, though.

The pill-drop silence was incredibly mortifying, and the intense gaze of Hanji Zoe didn't lessen the tension any bit.

Mikasa was frankly startled by Hanji's reaction, she hadn't expected for her reaction to be that immediate after her 'accident', considering she looked too tired. She had underestimated her.

"I said take one, Mikasa." There was a sternness in her tone, and even if that statement wasn't exactly a reprimand it sounded like a chide. But it didn't sound like how a Commander would scold her subordinates though, there was something else hidden beneath the anger and worry in her tone that Mikasa and Hanji were yet to identify. Mikasa wanted to rip her gaze away from Hanji's, but she couldn't. Her single eye could hold her so tightly, it was quite suffocating. Her grip too.

There had been a rumour a long time ago that it was Hanji who was the scariest when she got angry, and here Mikasa was to confirm that rumour to be a fact.

"I'm sorry." It was her third sorry that night and unlike the other two, this one felt broken. She was breaking, her perfect façade was shattering. Even a soldier worth a hundred had their limits. This was Mikasa's, and she didn't know why.

There was no mention of Eren. No mention of her suffering; no implications of it. There was no conversation made about the current situation about him. All she did was enter her office to deliver a report. And who would've known her desperateness to seek a brief escape would've gotten the best of her, which led to her meeting a fierce look upon being caught red handed for the defiant actions she conducted when she got her hands on what she could be her escapism.

Or maybe Hanji's intervention in her silliness, in her recklessness had reminded her of everything—it had reminded her how careless she could be when she was troubled. She hadn't even realised she took more than one pill until after Hanji pointed it out. Had she lost so much that she couldn't even control her body; that seemed to seek an escape even if it'd cost her deathly consequences?

And it was all because of one man. She felt like a fool. She felt like a fool for still caring about him so much. She wondered if she was in denial about who he was and the destruction he might soon bestow to the innocent. She didn't even know what he was doing anymore, or who he was. And for some reason she felt responsible for it. For him.

But that one man was the root of everyone's current stresses and problems and predicaments. Some just suffered more because of the ties they made with him… the ties that they couldn't cut. The ties she couldn't bring herself to cut. She was still wearing that damned, precious red scarf.

I'm pathetic. "I'm sorry." It was her fourth sorry, and she managed to look away and take back her arm when Hanji regained her composure, as well as softened upon seeing her distress; the distress she was unable to conceal in front of her Commander.

Mikasa had somewhat fought this woman before, back when she stopped her from saving her beloved friend, Armin. It was safe to assume that she wasn't afraid of her, even if she was her Commander. For her loved ones, she was fearless.

However, in this moment, where she let her vulnerability carelessly slip. She was. She was terrified and she didn't know why. Was it because she didn't want people who weren't so close to her see her at her weakest and lowest point? But then again, she didn't even want Armin to see this side of her.

Everyone was suffering. Everyone was pained. Everyone was tired. She didn't want to add on to that and burden all of them even more. There was just no time and space for her to act like a childish girl.

And ironically, she was here, breaking… in front of her. It was pathetically hypocritical.

Even if she and Hanji weren't close, Mikasa wasn't blind. She knew her Commander was undergoing her own troubles, too. The way she saw Hanji grip her paper as if she wanted to shred it to pieces, the way her remaining eye looked so sad when it saw Mikasa; as if it was looking for some form of solace that she couldn't get from her. If anything, it would be extremely absurd if anyone here wasn't uneasy about this entire predicament. But Mikasa said nothing about that to Hanji. Because she knew not to meddle. Because she knew she wasn't the person she was looking for.

And because she knew her Commander was so troubled, she resented herself even more for looking like a mess in front of her, for almost attempting something so stupid and something that she didn't fully consider the effects of the aftermath had she done that.

Now she wanted nothing more to leave, even if her gaze softened she still felt the lingering intensity of her look piercing right through her soul. She didn't want to give her more trouble to deal with either.

"…I'll take my leave now, Commande—"

"Don't." Hanji had cut her off harshly, she didn't need that now. "Don't call me that." She sounded sharp, and her voice was raising. And it was the second time she snapped in less than an hour. "Not now. Not here. Just call me Hanji."

A pause. It was brief, and she didn't give Mikasa enough time to even glance at the spilled pills on the hard, wooden floor.

"Are you tired, Mikasa?" It was an odd question, wasn't the answer obvious enough? There were a few times when Mikasa had observed Hanji's curious, crazy and hyper nature. She always found it an oddity. She was an enigma to her. She couldn't understand her craze over titans, and there were times she forgot she was human too—considering there were moments where she neglected the well-being of others for the sake of experimentation. But she was reminded, how this crazy scientist was a human too… back then, on the roof, her arms wrapped around her as both a restraint and a comfort.

They never talked often. Their relationship was merely soldier and Commander. Thus, they never talked about that incident, nor bothered to seek solace from one another even if Hanji had back then revealed to her that their pain was so similar.

"Yes." Mikasa answered truthfully, there was no hiding anymore. Her eyes found itself fixating on the pills she dropped, and she felt her stomach clenching and churning with disgust and disappointment at her pathetic state. Because how dare she attempt to run away when she was the one who wanted to bring him back the most? And how dare she forget his words that had been her motivation to push on?

"But… in order to win we must fight." She uttered, and faced back towards Hanji whose eye brimmed with such anguish and agony upon hearing her words that Mikasa couldn't possibly understand why. "I… shouldn't have… I just… right now… in that moment I was—"

She was interrupted yet again by Hanji, whose hands reached out— albeit not as forcefully as just now— and held both her hands together, gently.

"Treasure your life, Mikasa." A part of Hanji realised how hypocritical she sounded, because she couldn't tell herself that sometimes, during dark times. However, this was what she truly wanted Mikasa to believe.

There was a tenderness in Hanji's voice, it didn't sound as authoritative as compared to earlier but rather more… motherly. Mikasa didn't know how else to put it. Regardless, she was surprised that Hanji seemed to care for her a lot, even if they weren't close. Perhaps, it was because she didn't want to lose anyone anymore no matter how trivial their connection was.

Hanji parted her lips, as if wanting to offer more soothing words but Mikasa stopped her before she could. "It's okay." She assured, before carefully withdrawing her hands from Hanji's grasp that soon loosened. "Thank you, C-… Hanji." Mikasa quickly corrected, and Hanji shook her head. "I barely said anything… don't thank me." She sighed softly. And it was true, she didn't offer that much comforting words. But there was something unspoken and unsaid in the moment that both of them seemed to understand. Maybe it was because at the root of it all, their current troubles was all because of… him.

"I should… leave." Mikasa spoke, not wanting to keep Armin waiting too long. She wanted to ask Hanji whether if she would relay this incident to others, but something told her this incident would stay between them. She turned, and made her way towards the exit.

"Wait." Hanji called, albeit a little hesitantly. "Do you… really think the only way to win is to fight?"

Mikasa didn't turn around and only halted in her steps. She considered Hanji's words, and for the first time contemplated the words Eren had told her almost a decade ago.

Everyone was tired from this fight. From this constant war that stole too much from everyone. It would be so much better if things could be sorted more… peacefully.

"I… don't know." Mikasa was caught off guard by the doubt in her voice, but decided to shove it down. "I just… want everything to go back to how it was before." And suddenly, she sounded desperate.

"Me too." Hanji said solemnly, before taking a deep breath. That was enough for today, it was better for Mikasa to go rest and collect her thoughts as opposed to staying in this sullen room, chatting about sad things to make her sadder. Hanji could only hope that insomnia wouldn't consume her that night. "Tell the others who had been overworking to take a break tomorrow too. I think you all should have time to… recuperate." She instructed before bidding her a farewell. "Sleep well, Mikasa."

"You too, Hanji." The unfamiliar word or rather name left her lips; it was strange calling her so informally. But she was still in this office, and the least Mikasa could do was follow her request to the end. "Take care." And Mikasa left.

Hanji observed her as she walked off, until her vision was cut by the closed door. And she couldn't help but feel an immense amount of pity for her. "She still carried her façade as she walked out…" She mumbled to herself, having noted the exact smooth and confident movements Mikasa walked out with just as she came in. How much of her pain was she keeping to herself? At least I have Levi to talk to… and so does he with me. But Mikasa… it seems…

As Hanji pondered about this, she found herself walking towards her windows, before ripping her curtains open and was greeted by the moonlight as opposed to the rays of sunlight. And in this moonlight, one thing caught her eye.

She walked towards the little object that sat innocently in the little light the moon offered, and crushed it with her foot mercilessly. The pill, that was. One of the pills. "I ought to throw that bottle away… it's not like I even eat it." She sighed, and walked towards the area where her papers were scattered on the ground, without a care in the world for that crushed pill. She now wondered if this was how some of those titans felt whenever they stepped on them, killing them.

As Hanji bent down and gathered the scattered pieces of paper, she then found herself wondering if Mikasa saw as much vulnerability as she had seen in Mikasa. And if not, she wondered if the world had enough bad humour to make her crumble as much as the raven had in front of her.

"Oi, shitty glasses." A familiar voice dragged Hanji back to reality. "I knocked three times and you didn't answer." She had been immersed in her thoughts so much that she hadn't even noticed.

A wave of relief flooded in her heart when she heard him, though. She slowly turned towards the male who clicked his tongue agitatedly at the clutter of papers on the ground. He made his way towards her, placing their cups of tea down, and was about to offer her help after making a snide remark. But stopped. Flinched and hesitated.

Hanji was confused, and was about to ask why until Levi spoke. "Why are you… crying?"

Now, she realised the tears coursing down her cheeks like a river. But oddly, she laughed. A laughter so fatigued yet hysterical, which increased Levi's concern.

"I don't know." She lifted her glasses shakily and wiped a tear away. "I'm just… very tired."