#idk i dont have a point
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It's such a insignificant thing in the grand scheme of things but it absolutely sucks to see a similar experience to your own trauma in media only to watch as fandom completely ignores it and butchers it acting like it's "not that bad" or even acting like it's good. they erase all the parts that you related to because they don't want to view it in that way.
and I can't speak up or get upset because "Fanon doesn't affect canon". but how people react to and treat canon effects me. If they treat it like that in fiction how will they treat me? I can't speak up without revealing something so personal to me that I've seen people invalidate over and over again. I don't feel like I'm asking for much when I ask for people to pause and look at how they feel, react to, and treat certain experiences in fandom spaces.
#text#trauma#this is about family trauma#no reblogs because it's so very personal to me and I try not to talk about it much#the amount of experiences I've seen that mirror my own in media#that the fandom turns into “tough love” or “look see their parents love them so it's not toxic/abusive at all!”#i know this is probably just a me problem#it still sucks tho#it sucks a lot to relate to something so heavily only to see it publicly torn apart#not to mention how fandom reacts can often effect how canon treats it in the future...so much media has access to fandom spaces#I watched my experience fade into the background and get forgotten because the creators interacted with fandom#idk it hurts a lot to see something so personal to you treated as so unimportant#to watch it be invalidated right in front of you#to feel like you cant speak up without revealing something so personal that so many have already invalidated#idk i dont have a point#i'm mostly just thinking about previous fandom experiences with this sort of thing#and how it's really effected how i interact in fandom and how i view fanon in general
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staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%
grace image os i get to look at her
#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the#first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post#for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !!#bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny#EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically#also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am#anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things#also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode#i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep#and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves#also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc#id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever#it wld b fun !!!#oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically#a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday#ya !! :3#flappy rambles#inaccessible#ask to tag#(<- idk. just in case)
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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silly comic based on a time i struggled to read live on stream :thumbsup:
context clip compilation below ASDASDFASA
(cw for brief mention of hospitals/strokes)
#in stars and time#isat#isat odile#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#<- not big ones but the convo this stems from occurs on 3rd floor before king act 2 so#cw hospital#cw stroke#<- brief stroke talk in the clip thats why#odile i am so sorry for making u deal with the fact that i cant read#or just input words?? where there arent any??? i dont know why i do that????#these streams have made me realize i sometimes just autofill words when reading SAFADDA#also random side headcanon i was thinking of while drawing this#is odile speaks alot with her hands?#idk why i just think its fun?#and kinda makes sense as someone who has travelled a lot thru different countries?#personal observation but you can convey/tell a lot without knowing a much of a different language via body language#as someone who grew up with family who spoke a different language that i do not speak LMAO#especially hands!! those say a lot!!#reading body langauge/tone helped me a lot when guessing if what was being talked about a good thing or not#tho tone to a lesser extent since uh it can be hard to tell at times i think ASDFDA#so it makes sense to me???#the art of pointing in general location is a universal skill i think?? yea#to a lesser extent i think siffrin might do this? but more subdued/under the cloak so#the cloak ends up getting in the way 90% of the time so no one can actually see that lmao#okay tag talk over#no stream time today because weather boooooo storms
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some doodles of my vigilante au green :3
ehehehehe also he's like. the only one i have a vigilante design for out of the 5 dshkjifeiks so blue on the last panel was really just a quick design that i came up w rn
#pawu.art#ava vigilante au#good lord i have used that tag like. one time JDASFJHDSAJH#erm also abt the comic........ it is. um. there....LMAO sorry guys i dont think u will ever see it at this point-#tho i was thinking of maybe making an ask blog for this au#i feel like that would be pretty cool#but idk if i have the time#ok anyways enough yapping jfehfjheshjf#ava green#ava blue#ava au#animation vs animator
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Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.
We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.
Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.
He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?
I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?
#like curly is very much does his job goes home takes care of self repeat i dont think hes like an asocial person but he doesn't take the tim#time to indulge in himself the way he thinks hes a bigger picture guy so as long as nothing is disrupted hes relatively okay even if its#slowly chipping away at him and making him feel hollow like he thought space was endless that he could never reach a point of feeling finis#he never had to predict what to do after the end and suddently he realizes there was no end to it because there cant be an end to nothing#hes accomplished so much objectively but hes done nothing with his life outside of his work like he mentions no hobbies other friends or an#thing of the sort he doesn't even feel like he can vent it cause what? hes complaining about how hard it is to get promoted to have securit#in a job you hate and a position that keeps weighing you down like I feel like if he explained himself at the party and didn't let Jimmy t#talk for him hed actually have made points the others would get cause even if they envied his position he still is justified in being unhap#not everything that you think would bring you happiness does or fulfills even a small part of that desire#idk hes a lot more fucked in the head but like towards himself than people realize like how he lets Jimmy treat him is indicitive of that i#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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Wait till these radfems find out I still identify as a lesbian
#poking the wasp nest at this point#transmasc nonbinary#i dont usually correct people when they call me a trans man#i mean im hitting all the checks for being a trans man except the identifying as a man part#that might change in the future idk i have literally no connection to womanhood except through my lesbianism#just call me a dyke
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needed to draw something this year for tomes bday...really wanted to draw her highschool friends
#anybody else get a lil choked up that she was able to find some girl friends and find connections with them... just me?#idk i think its so sweet how focused the spinoff was about this group of normal highschool girls... theyre not even espers or anything#my baby really has grown up!! <- reigen probably after offering her 300 yen an hour#i had to guess the hair colors for 3 of them cuz like well... theres no damn reigen spinoff ova yet...! they dont got official colors!!#wait hoshida doesnt have official colors either... he better be a brunet its canon to me at this point#also after reading the spinoff manga i realize i draw hoshida so small... hes a third year and is probably not nearly as short as i think..#my bad if ur a kid i just assume ur under 5'3 half the time... what a bad habit... ill draw him more taller next time lolo#my art#mp100#mob psycho 100#reigen spinoff#tome kurata#hoshida origo#wait their names...?? i only know keiko and misa... i think the fujos name is yume... i dont know the joke girls name!! sorry i cant tag...
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Bucky Barnes // The Winter Soldier Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)
appreciation post for bucky's hair in catws
#dailymarvelgifs#dailymarveledits#buckybarnesedit#ca:tws#the winter soldier#bucky barnes#sebastian stan#sebastianstanedit#my gifs#catws#his hair in catws is sooo good and his hair in cacw is soooo bad <3333#like its a different length texture and style throughout all of cacw idk what happened man#but in catws.......................................................... Hello.#it also looks good AND terrible in the thunderbolts trailer. who is responsible for this#why cant we get this right#this is why they had him cut in in tfatws they were like thank god now we dont have to deal with it#no shade to the costume people or hair/makeup folks im sure its tough and was at some points out of their hands#im just saying. come on#also hes so Greasy in cacw its actually kind of cute#babygirl has not been shampooing <33#he went without steve for a couple years and completely stopped taking care of himself#i know his ass is using three in one body wash/shampoo/conditioner#i know hes unmoisturized#anyways. love of my life sweet baby boy little meow meow angel etc.
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felt it time for a banner change
#my art#the legend of zelda#loz#four swords manga#fsa#shadow link#green link#vio link#blue link#red link#the minish#four swords#four swords adventures#love having 12 tags for one post#why are they fairies? again#long story#expect to get a lil fairy art dump at some point lol#i realized while coloring that town minish dont have tails but i really liked the way it looked on the minish in blue#sooo i kept it#lol#why are there forset minish in the library?#idk maybe its a forest library
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it is completely one hundred percent baffling to me that any of the foxes would come away from witnessing neil and andrew's reunion in baltimore with the opinion that their relationship was just hate fucking . like my brother in christ are you blind
#andrew was FERAL .#he fucking choked KEVIN like COME ON#and he was like RACING into the room to see neil and#he was all like *tugs neil's hoodie to get his attention* *threatens anyone who tried to come close to them (abby)*#he was all like 'i dont trust them to give you back.' come on man .#and neil was looking at andrew . most definitely Like That. when he was talking to abby#neil was all battered and bruised from barely dodging a fucking death sentence and he sees andrews partly red eye and thats#the first thing he talks about#*lightly taps a thumb against the bruise at andrews eye* i didnt know theyd staged a riot#they were all like Looking at each other and ..... idk i am not explaining this well enough but .#you don't need me to. you all read it#it was So Fucking Obvious my god#im crying bc even neil thought nicky wasnt far from the truth at that point#like he could not have been more incorrect istg .#aftg#andreil#neil josten#andrew minyard#all for the game#mi ne
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Doodle dump!
just a whole bunch of stuff i dont like enough to put as separate posts but that i still want archived somewhere before i delete the files on my ipad
#i would have posted these seperately but i dont really like them enough to finish. i might at some point though idk#kokoart#genshin#project nova#doodle#scaramouche#kaeya#beau#rowan#original#oc#back to my normal artstyle too i missed it
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steve who got a lower back tattoo on a drunken dare in his late 20s and forgets it's there most of the time. steve who stretches one night at a party and his shirt rides up exposing the swirling lines that peek out from under his belt line. steve who doesn't think anything of it and forgets to pull his shirt back down as he leans forward on the couch while talking with the group, basking in the welcomed burn of a certain pair of eyes locked on him.
eddie who's sitting next to him, gripping the back of the couch cushion where his arm is slung around his long term crush like it's the only tether he has to planet earth because not only does steve have a tattoo, but it's right there. eddie who takes in a shuddering breath and can't pull his gaze away from the ink that spreads low over tanned skin that he longs to explore. eddie who digs his other hand into his knee to keep it from doing anything stupid like running his fingers over the tattoo or pulling steve up to go to the spare bedroom.
steve who shoots frozen-in-place eddie a knowing smirk after a few seconds as he leans over even further before standing up and holding out his hand in invitation anyway. eddie who finds out later in the night that he doesn't have to wonder what the tattoo feels like under his fingers for much longer.
#listen.... i saw a kpop artist i like with a new back tattoo and this just.... happened#mayhaps this will work it's way into a fic of mine at some point but idk#this is so unrealistic dont mind me#alright whos gonna bite the bullet and write this smut for me because i surely don't have the time for another wip#steddie headcanon#my writing#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie drabble
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Idk who needs to hear this but time and time again isn't over!!!
Webtoon removed the "time and time again will return!!!" Banner and I don't know why, but it's not over!!! There's still another 1/3 of the comic to go! There's a lot more stuff that I'm working on and it'll be coming back soon!
Please be patient with me, I know it's been a long time... But the stuff I'm making is really good and there's a lot of reasons it's taken this long. I promise I want it back more than anyone.
I'm trying to come back around the end of October. I'm doing my best to get everything ready in time, so no promises, but I'm on track to do so! I'm just one person writing and drawing everything, and my editor was fired so I'm not even getting any notes anymore. It's literally just me. I'm doing my best I promise!
#im so frustrated that banner has been gone#and people think the comic is over because of that#which is reasonable to think#but it... idk#its already an uphill battle to try snd retain audience after a hiatus this long#let alone when webtoon is actively building thr expectation that theres no need to come back...#im so frustrated#every day there is something new with them its so exhausting#this isnt even the thing I've been majorly stressed about this is a fresh new frustration#i feel like they're not just being unhelpful#at this point i feel like theyre actively sabotaging my career.#im not allowed to promote my books#i can't make my links too big so no one can find me#people dont even know i have a patreon#i can't make any announcements on the comic#and now people think th whole thing is over and it isnt!#im so ;_;#im so frustrated and demoralized#and people complete reasonably are losing patience and interest#and. ah... it's fine. like genuinely it is fine.#it will come back soon and i am doing a good job#and everyone who sees it's back will be happy with what ive done#cause it's good. its really good...#but. yeah. idk. webtoon has been actively keeping me down since the beginning and im so over them#I've been so mistreated aysudjejjdjdjdj#i just want to finish the series and go ;_;#taking all my power to not **** ******#just gotta power through and get the fuck out#text post#update
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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.
#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else#you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should#change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting#affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree#with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them#or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you#an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont#set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU#FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police#n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you#throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.
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atp i genuinely doooon’t care if the old guard two is the worst thing put to film i just want to see the best character of all time (andromache the scythian) and her loser henchmen and everyone’s favorite girl nile freeman again
#its not even funny anymore WHERE IS ANDY AND NORIKO!!!!!!!!!!! it was supposed to be the year of dyke drama 😞😞😞😞😞😞#like given the way they structured the first movie the second would have to be almost wholly original and differ a lot from the comic#like andy cant go thru the shit noriko puts her thru so im guessing the script would switch her out with nile getting tossed in the ocean#but that doesnt really work with norikos comic characterization (trying to get andy to see her point by making her go thru what noriko did#isnt something quynh will gaf about if andy isnt one of the immortals. andys become thr ‘vermin’ noriko hates!!!)#and given the end of the movie everyones chill with copley so joe and nickys whole subplot cant exist anymore…. idk maybe theyll switch out#copley with moose?? idc as long as we get their stupid car conversation tbh makes me laugh#honestly given the changes that would have to be made they probably just made a stupid movie and don’t want to release it. but I DONT CAREEE#its not exactly like the first one was that good i still mute it in preparation for every cringe needle drop like its a lame movie but its#genuineeeeee fun like i seriously do not care netflix give me my movie!!!#the old guard
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