#idk how to explain it other than more and more of my twitches don't feel... *caused* i guess?

[thegempage]

i think. the genetics are coming for me and i'm starting to develop restless leg syndrome. and you know what? not thrilled!

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

(Oh My) Bunny-Baby 🔞

In which Jungkook had long lost hope to find someone sweet as you.

Tags/Warnings: Bunny Hybrid!Jungkook, Bunny Hybrid!Reader, strangers to lovers, major fluff, romance, Flirting, they're in love, also very horny towards the end oops, car sex, sloppy handjob, lots of... fluids, squirting aka champagne confetti wink wink, multiple orgasms, some aftercare?, idk it's something

Length: oneshot, I'll count later

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> You can request drabbles if you want.

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"Come on in- just, be a little quiet, I've got my new coworker over." Jimin chuckles, making Jungkook look at him scandalized- since Jimin, technically, has a girlfriend.

"Ah no, not like that." He waves off, walking in after they both taken off their shoes. "A waterpipe broke in her bedroom, so now she's crashing on my couch for the time being." He explains, putting a finger to his lips as they enter the living room area, where Jungkook spots your body underneath a blanket, clearly asleep.

What peaks his attention though, are the very obvious bunny ears on your head, only partially covered by your hair.

Bunny hybrids aren't common at all, nowadays, due to them ending up mixing with humans more often than not- so much so, that until now, Jungkook has never met another 'pure' bunny hybrid of the opposite sex before, ever. "Just sit down there- she sleeps like a rock, so don't worry too much about waking her." Jimin laughs, easily sitting down in a seat across from where you sleep, while Jungkook carefully takes the spot next to where your head is resting. From here, he's got an even better view of you- and you're just.. so cute.

Though he feels himself short-circuiting the moment you move, nose scrunching up a bit as you move your leg, blanket now slipping a little to reveal the softest looking bunny tail he's ever seen. That, combined with your ear twitching while you dream, makes him wonder about things he never really thought of before. He absentmindedly reaches to touch his own ear, trying to see if they're just as soft as yours look. Are they? He's not sure. He's so close to you he could just see for himself, especially when you move a little more, head leaning against his thigh, ears laying over it- but he knows how much he hates having his ears touched constantly, so he doesn't.

That would just be rude.

"Do you know a cheap place where she can stay? Sine my partner is a wolf hybrid, you know.." Jimin wonders, sighing. "Here, that's the sketches by the way." He offers, giving a few papers to Jungkook who takes them. "Oh! Or, since you're both the same species, maybe she could stay with you? You still have the pull-out couch right?"

"Yeah!" Jungkook answers, while you seem to finally wake up, slowly sitting upright, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

"Great!" Jimin misunderstands the rabbit boy's answer. "Hey, bunny? Jungkookie over here has an empty couch you can stay on." He tells you, who's ears slowly stand up, before you look over at the shoulder of the other bunny hybrid- head slowly lifting to look at the wide open eyes of the buck next to you. "He's easy to be around, don't worry." Jimin jokes.

"Oh?" You wonder, noticing Jungkook's black ears turned towards you as well, giving you all information you need for the moment. "Tha's nice of you." You slur sleepily, yawning before you stretch. "Thank you." You smile, and Jungkook is officially without any brain activity at all for the moment.

Especially when you lean your head to the side a bit, ears flopping over, still clearly drowsy from sleep.

"Uh.. yeah!" Jungkook snaps out of it, ripping his eyes away from you, though he hears you giggle a little to yourself, causing his tail to wiggle without his control of it. He honestly didn't mean to agree to something like this- hell, his apartment isn't even remotely tidied up, there's probably dishes in the sink and his laundry all over the place- but in some odd way, he also can't pass up the opportunity of a lifetime, basically; because you're so pretty, and-

wait, he doesn't even know if you have a boyfriend. Do you? And if you do, why is he not helping you out in a time like this? He knows he would've offered you to stay at his home right away if something was up. That's just common sense.

"I'll go get my stuff.." You mumble, slowly getting up to stretch one last time- bunny tail wiggling around as you groan, giving Jungkook pretty much whiplash from the sight alone, before you walk away into the bathroom, probably to shower and wake up properly.

"She's cute, huh?" Jimin teases, catching Jungkook staring after you. "Doesn't have a boyfriend from what I know. And she's a bunny too." He wiggles his eyebrows, while Jungkook shakes his head.

"So?" He huffs. "Doesn't mean we're like.. destined or something. I'm just gonna help her out- and after that, we'll go back to being strangers anyways." He simply says, shrugging it off. After all, he's tried relationships before- and they all somehow always failed because of him in some way, making him believe that at this point, he just isn't fit for simple relationships.

He can't help his instincts, and neither can he help his.. needs either.

So when he takes the sketches home to work on, and helps carry your bag for you- he doesn't get his hopes up for something changing, because down the line, maybe that'll protect him from the inevitable heartbreak when you leave just like he fears you will.

Just like everyone else did before.

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Inside his apartment, you're clearly finally properly awake now, curiously following him as he shows you around, before he leaves you in his small living room to fetch some sheets and blankets for you to put on the couch.

It's clear that he lives alone, apartment a bit.. lifeless almost, not much screaming home at you from what you can see. Apart from a sweater thrown over a chair at the open kitchenette, and a few dishes in the sink, it looks like any ordinary single-guy household.

Interesting. Especially the fact that his home only smells of himself and no one else. Doesn't he have a partner?

That wouldn't make sense. He's basically the perfect buck.

"It's a bit.. uh, I know this will look like it's broken but it's not-" He defends, rubbing the back of his neck after he put the blankets and sheets on one side of the couch, leaning down to pull on the lower edge of the front of the couch. "-it's just.. urgh- old!" He grits, using a good amount of strength to pull out the part that snaps back up into place, ultimately turning the small couch into a bed with good amount of space on it.

You can't help but stare wide eyed however, not at the furniture- but rather the clear display of strength of his, arms showing off their muscles even while covered mostly by his plain white t-shirt. You can't help it- after all, it's instincts.

Snapping out of it when you notice him looking at you in question, you shake those thoughts off for the moment, hands behind your back while you sway on your legs a little. "Uh.. I didn't listen, sorry. What did you say?" You ask, caught a bit in your staring contest between you and his thighs having multiplied twice their size from the way he's sitting on his heels on the floor.

"I asked if you.. if that blanket is enough, or if you want a thicker one?" He offers. "I have a spare one with feather filling if you'd like.." He wonders, and you nod instantly.

You like thick blankets and bedding a lot- it makes for great nesting material, and gives you a sense of comfort while asleep.

He smiles in a friendly manner, before he fetches said blanket, taking a bit longer to put a cover over it, before he brings it to the couch you're already on all fours on, tucking the sheets into the corners properly, and he can't help but watch you a little. He himself doesn't really nest, and since he's never met a female bunny hybrid before, he's never actually seen one making a nest, except for in movies and TV shows. So, seeing you so naturally do it, makes him wonder.

How much of what he heard and seen about female bunny hybrids is actually true- and how much is just romanticized fiction?

After all, he as a male bunny hybrid is often watered down to nothing but a good lover in bed- but once those people get into an actual relationship, and realize that it's not just fun and games but a need of his that he'd have fulfilled every day of the week if possible, he quickly becomes too much to handle.

And so, most of the time, everything always falls apart because he's too needy. Too demanding. Too high maintenance. Too tough to.. satiate.

"Here." He carefully offers the bedding to you, and you smile, happily taking it with a 'thank you' from your side. He's a bit awkward now- unsure if you'd like him to stay or not. "Do you… should I leave?" He asks, unsure.

"No?" You answer, shaking your head. "This is your home after all. Why should you leave?" You giggle, unaware of Jungkook's inner troubles with the whole situation. He sits down on the edge of the bed so he stays out of the way, while you position some pillows and the other blanket how you want, eventually settling on the thick feather-filled quilt, hugging it it as you look at him arms and legs wrapped around the thick fluffy bedding.

"I.. uhm, I've never actually met a doe before, so I'm not sure how to really act." He admits, and you nod, lips parted in an 'o'-shape as you realize his dilemma.

"That's fine." You simply say. "We're kinda rare after all, I only ever really met another buck like.. a few years back? And he was an asshole, so you're already doing a lot better than him!" You joke, though he can spot some truth behind your words, worrying him what might've happened in the past. "So, Jiminie gave you sketches, right?" You ask, and he nods, happy over the finally flowing conversation. "What's that about?" You ask.

"I'm a tattoo artist." He says, pulling up the sleeve of his white shirt way over his shoulder, showing off his inked arm, making you lean closer to gain a better look, ears fully turned towards him now in interest. "I designed all of them myself, for example." He offers, chuckling when you tilt your head to look at something in a different angle.

"Oh, they're so cool!" You praise, before leaning back again. "I wanna have a tattoo too, but, I don't know.. people told me I shouldn't, cause it wouldn't suit me.." You mumble, leaning back into the comfort of the bedding.

"I mean, it depends what you'd want?" He shrugs. "I could for sure come up with something more delicate maybe?" He wonders, mind already trying to imagine some art underneath your skin right now.

"Heh, you wanna mark me up?" You flirt boldly, catching him off guard at your innuendo. "I'm just kidding. You're cute!" You compliment, before you curl up in your little nest once more. "...though.." you mumble, looking at him dangerously from underneath your lashes.

...though?" He asks, breathes out almost carefully.

"Though I wouldn't mind you cuddling me, to be honest." You giggle into the quilt, cheeks tinted softly. "You look like you give great cuddles." You say, and he laughs a bit bashfully to himself.

"I mean- maybe?" He shrugs, unsure. He's not really.. cuddled much before, every touch of his always having been taken as either an invitation or demand even when it wasn't either- so at some point in his life, he just stopped even thinking about it. What would make you different from them?

And what does he really have to lose, down the line?

You're Jimin's coworker. If you and Jungkook don't work out, there's no awkwardness really, to be fair. You'd just part ways, and that would be it, and since you're both clearly adults, nothing speaks against it.

"Shouldn't we.. maybe get to know each other more?" He wonders carefully, testing the waters. And your next words make him wonder if you could really truly be a new start for him.

"Why? It's only cuddling." You huff. "It's not like I wanna go to phase two just because you touch me." You joke.

And while he does smile at it, it's not a joke to him.

It's much more than that.

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"Heeh, whatcha cooking?" You ask, dipping underneath his arm to catch a glimpse at the pot he's stirring, making him instinctively reach out to pull you back so you don't look inside and hurt yourself.

"Ramen- but it's spicy, so you might not like it." He chuckles, remembering how you told him last night at a movie you watched together that you don't tolerate spicy things very well. Most buny hybrids dont- but he grew up with it, so maybe that's why he can stomach it very well.

The movie you watched yesterday had only been background noise to be honest, because you were rather occupied getting to know each other better, just like Jungkook had suggested. He now knows that you moved here after a bad relationship break up lead to you wanting a new fresh start somewhere else, while you learned that Jungkook used to work at an internet Cafe for a while until he could finally land a spot at Min Yoongis tattoo studio.

You've warmed up to each other quite quickly- and not just over shared life experiences and problems you'd laugh over together.

"But I'm hungry." You tell him, looking upwards at his face that's watching you as well. "Can I use your kitchen to make myself something?" You wonder, and he smiles, laughing.

"I can cook one extra. I have a mild chicken one in here- would you like that?" He asks, and you nod, reaching for it- though he's holding it too far away. "I said I'm making it." He jokingly scolds. "You go wait, it'll take maybe twenty minutes or so." He explains, though you just turn around and...

Hug him?

"Heeh, you're so warm!" You giggle, unable to really resist at least trying to hug him once- when a hand sets itself onto your back, holding you close while he continues cooking. He just smells so nice, and he is so nice in general that you just involuntarily get attached already.

You're a bunny hybrid after all. You crave affection, need attention.. and much more than that, but this part, you've learned to control. It throws people off how clingy and needy you are, it's something you learned the hard way- and you're hoping that you won't screw it up with Jungkook.

Cause you really like him already. Might go as far as to say you've got a terrible crush.

"Am I bothering you?" You ask meekly but he shakes his head, a surprised expression on his face.

"No, I'd tell you if you did." He answers, and at that, your eyes sparkle in wonder, head resting against his chest. Words like that mean the world to you- because thar means you won't just unknowingly make him uncomfortable until he gets rid of you. He'll tell you first, so you can change.

"Thank you." You simply say-

And he wonders what you must've experienced in the past to be so grateful of simple communication like that.

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"So, you're staying with Jungkook now?" Namjoon, a bear hybrid across from you asks- and you nod.

"Hmhm, he's really nice." You compliment, and Jungkook feels his cheeks start to get hotter at your praise. He's got a terrible problem and it's only four days in of you both knowing each other-

Because his body is clearly reacting to your scent being all over his apartment and all over him.

He can't help it, it's quite frankly embarrassing how often he has to shower and try and relieve himself somewhat quietly so you won't notice- ache in his body now worse than ever before, with you as a doe so close around him all the time. You're clearly in your prime, and so is he- bodies communicating that desire constantly without either of your control.

And unbeknownst to him, you're very aware of his dilemma. He's not exactly as quiet as he thinks he is.

In that department, you pride yourself in being a lot more secretive- he probably hasn't even noticed that you got yourself off right in your nest in the living room, because you, compared to him, can be quiet.

Well, but he knows. Because while you might not make much sound, your scent left on your bedding speaks louder than you could ever scream. And it's torture.

"So, you both?" Jimin raises his brows suggestively, making Jungkook shakes his head bashfully. "Heh, why not? You're already so cute together!" He whines, always so passionate about his best friend finally finding that special someone.

Namjoon sighs and scolds the younger friend, before he looks at you. "I'm sorry, he can be a bit too bold sometimes." He says, and you just wave it off.

"No its fine, I understand." You say, before going back to eating.

You're awfully quiet the rest of the night, seemingly rather low on energy. It's something Jungkook notices with slight worry, fearing you might be coming down with something- unaware that it's both your social batteries running low, and also the fact that, naturally, bunny hybrids tend to kind of shrink in on themselves if they're without affection for too long.

And for you, it's been a long time since someone cared for you in a more intimate way.

But he doesn't connect the dots yet, rather offers to go home with you a bit earlier, to get you into bed so you can rest properly.

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You're surprisingly visiting often and regularly, even after returning to your now renovated home.

You seek him out actively, ask often for his opinion on things or if he wants to hang out- and he's thriving, energy at an all time high. It's something that everyone at the tattoo shop notices too, constantly picking on the rabbit hybrid- but he couldn't care less.

Because last night, you told him you liked him. Like, liked him a lot. You got a crush on him.

And it makes him all giddy with excitement, causes him to whistle as he cleans up his workspace to finally go home and welcome you back to his apartment for some takeout and cuddles- because that's something that you do often as well.

It's like the only quality sleep he has these days is only when he sleeps together with you. And not even in a sexual sense whatsoever.

You gently turn him whenever he falls into a bad position during his sleep that makes him snore- instead of telling him that he's annoying and disrupting your rest. You cling onto him, you're nuzzling into his neck, you scent him- and he loves every second of it, soaks up your affectionate attention like a sponge.

You're just so cute, and perfect for him- he can't help but fall for you. And knowing that you did too- just makes it all feel like a fairytale come true.

Though, in his car, things don't go quite as.. tame as he expected it to.

Not that he complains.

You're on his lap in the driver's seat as he'd parked his car at an empty parking lot out of sight of the main road, clinging to him, kissing him just as eagerly as he does you. It's desperate, open mouths stealing each other's breath away, his teasing bites to your lip making you whimper. "Please-" you softly cry, looking at him with pleading eyes. "-I'm starving.!" You complain, and he laughs.

The moment you're both in the backseat of his car, he wastes no time- using the sweater and shirt he pulls off his upper body in one go to throw them against the door so your head is supported, before he leans down to kiss you again. He can't get enough, not of you, and not of this moment-

Because down the line, he's equally as touch-starved as you are.

There's no time nor need for words as his hands push beneath your clothes, exploring what he finds beneath with eager palms, skin warm to the touch. You're squirming in place, needy for more than he gives right now- and he decides that patience can go fuck itself, because he needs you.

The moment he unveils your lower body to his eyes is the moment he just knows he can't control himself, hand instantly reaching between your legs to play with you, get you ready. "How have you been like this, huh?" He chuckles, jokes, as you squirm and roll your hips into his hand. "Poor baby, suffering in silence when I'm right here." He breathes out, sensitive core so desperate you don't need much to come undone for the first time.

While you catch your breath, he uses that time to search for a condom in his car- finding one in his wallet, thankfully, before he covers his length that you're already reaching for.

"Next time." He reassures your disappointed face as you realize he's not gonna let you return the favor. "Right now I need you." He instead explains, before he guides the head of his cock through your folds, collecting your wetness before he finally pushes inside.

Your head is finally empty, no thoughts rushing any longer, the only thing on your mind the feeling of him filling you up.

You don't care if you're needy, or clingy, or too demanding- right now you want all he has to offer, as your legs wrap around him, pulling him closer.

And closer he gets, leaning down to capture your lips once more before his hips start to move.

The sounds you make must be nothing shy of pornographic, but you don't spare any mind to it- instead letting your eyes roll back as he picks up his pace, testing your limits to see what you need, and what you can take. And much to his personal pleasure, it seems like you're a perfect fit-

Not just in any other way already.

Your tail must be soaked in your slick at this point, ring of foamy white decorating the base of his length as he keeps up his rhythm, skin smacking against skin loudly in the small space of the car. Any bystander outside probably knows exactly what's going on-

And he couldn't care less.

An almost growling sound escapes him when he feels you clench in your upcoming orgasm, thighs trembling against his body as you cry out, white hot pleasure making you blind and deaf for a second, while his hips stutter, one final push all it takes for him to snap-

As he pulls out your soaked cunt, pulling the condom off to instead close your legs and bring himself to his finish that way, white strings of cum covering your naked front, even up to your shirt that he's pushed way up high to reveal your bouncing chest to his eyes.

He's breathing heavily together with you, as he notices the scene he finds himself in.

The windows of the car are all fogged up, and it's stuffy inside, smell of sex filling the entirety of the space, leather of the seats squeaking slightly as he adjusts his position. Your most recent experience of pleasure covers his thighs and seats, but he doesn't mind, he can only laugh to himself absolutely starstruck.

He's never experience something like this before.

He's never had any sexual encounter where he felt this satisfied after, no lingering appetite left for the moment, as he helps you out of your shirt to use it to wipe your body somewhat clean- his cum having stained the fabric already anyways.

The second he notices you shivering he helps you into a sitting position after cleaning you between your legs too- or at least drying your skin, before he wipes the seats. "I uh.." you mumble, staring at the mess you've made. "...that's new." You say, and he laughs, looking at you with eyes full of stars.

"I know." He answers, making you beam back with an equally love-filled gaze, shy laughter breaking the awkward aftermath of your first time.

And that's when he knew-

You're it for him.

For now and forever.

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"Jungkoooook~?" You sing, hanging somewhat upside down off his bed- when he walks into the bedroom, freshly showered.

"Whaaaaat~?" He parrots back in a similar tone, walking to the closet to get a shirt and pants.

"Do you love me?" You wonder, and he laughs, slipping the shirt over his head.

"Of course." He instantly answers without thinking.

"Do you really love me?" You ask, and he turns around now, looking at you with suspicion.

"...You're gonna ask me to drive you to that one specific place where they sell those giant milkshakes again, aren't you?" He accuses, and you giggle.

"I mean, do you reeeaaally love me?" You jokingly ask, and at that he squats down in front of you to kiss your upside-down lips with a smile.

"Of course I do." He answers. "So much so that I'll drive you there, even though you're gonna have a stomachache from all the food again."

"That was once!" You call out as he puts on his sweatpants having now sat up. "Or maybe twice.. okay if we count last Tuesday maybe three times but that-"

"Doesn't count, I know." He finishes his sentence for you, closing the closet before he leans his hands on the bed, lips catching yours to shut you up for a second.

But as he leans back to look at you, there's a new desire in your eyes.

"You know.. now that I think of it.." you mumble quietly, hands toying with the strings of his sweats. "I'm hungry for something else.." you bat your lashes at him, and he smirks at that, leaning his head to the side while he watches your lips.

"I wonder what that might be." He grins, licking his lips as you lean onto your back, his body now crawling over you.

"Guess you better find out." You tell him, hands already pulling down the hem of his pants slowly.

"Guess I have to." He shrugs, letting you undress him, trip to the far away diner long forgotten.

Because who needs to eat out when you've got the best dinner at home?

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[mrs-monaghan]

Hey Shaz,

sorry if this is phrased weirdly

Sometimes when anons come here bringing up the possibility of a petty jikook breakup or a breakdown of their relationship over certain things, you say "JK would never allow that to happen".

No idea if you've thought this much about it, but it's a heavy line that might say a lot about how much you believe JK regards having Jimin as his partner. Can you share what moments or traits about JK make you think he wouldn't let Jimin easily walk away?

I could definitely see a Jimin version of this too seeing how much those two adore each other lol

Hello my lovely. It always boils down to satellite Jeon for me. It always will

Did you see that?

RM got in the way and it wasn't even on purpose this time. JK just wasn't quick enough. This moment reminds me of the one I always bring up from this post. Him trying and failing. I feel bad when he fails. Especially when Jimin doesn't notice 😔

Okay so, Jimin loves JK, don't get me wrong. He loves him very, very, very much and is proud to have Jeon Jungkook as a boyfriend. That has been made very clear over the years. So me saying what I'm about to say on this post, does not mean that Jimin loves JK less or doesn't love JK as much as JK loves him. No, that's not it at all and I beg you to not think that that's what I'm saying, at all. Jimin is just as dedicated and committed to the rlship. They both are.

But, it is of my personal opinion that if they broke up it would destroy JK. Jimin would be heartbroken and devastated too but it would hit JK harder.

Now, idk if this spectrum thing is true, but we have seen evidence that points to the fact that Jimin is JK's rock. 1300% When I use the words safe space here, I am not using them lightly. I take satellite Jeon very, very seriously. That my dear is a need not a want.

Now forget about Jimin touching on JK's neck for... sexual reasons

That definitely made JK's dick twitch. For sure. It's the finger placement and how deep he's pressing. It's JK's face. There is nothing innocent about that touch 👆🏽 which explains why it affected JK the way it did. Mans was super confused. Stood up for nothing before sitting back down. But I digress.

If we could all turn to page 13 of our Jikook books we will find this moment here.

An anon brought this up recently but I can't find that ask. Anyhu, the director wanted JK to relax and of course Jimin knew how to get him there. Which, what?

The thing about watching Jikook moments over and over and over is that they start to become just sweet or adorable or cute... they become normal. But, my dear anon there is nothing normal about Jimin knowing exactly where to massage in order to relax JK. There is something about Jimin when it comes to JK's neck because he always finds a reason to touch that neck. There is more than enough compilations of this.

Suffice to say, JK's neck is hella sensitive and his man knows this. As he should. But my main point remains that Jimin knew exactly what to do to relax JK. And that's just a scratch of the surface when we think about just how much Jimin knows about JK.

The post i linked above for the satellite Jeon moment is about what happened with JK when Jimin was busy during FACE era. How it was clearly affecting JK. Maybe even physically. Jimin's absence was affecting him.

Y'all just stop for a second and think about that. Jimin's absence was affecting JK. That's... thats big. That's fucking huge.

Anyone else ever wonder if BTS almost disbanding in 2018 had anything at all to do with Jikook? Like I know they have all talked about how they were overworking and it got to be too much. The fame got to be too much. But was there other factors that couldn't be brought up? Y'all ever wonder about that?

I am reminded of this post by a friend of mine and I'm inclined to agree with her. That maybe, just maybe JK was naive enough to think now that he was essentially an adult they could be more open. But instead they were pushed further into the closest. What's that thing he said that he also started singing about? About how he can finally take off his uniform?

While it sounds like a sexual innuendo, idk. There is something about that whole "FINALLY!"

Look at his face 😂😂😂 its either JK hated school and was glad to have been done with it or it was about Jikook. Or both. As we all know there is alot of questionable things that take place on this day. But either way I agree with my friend up there that JK thought things were going to change after graduation but instead they didn't. Thus why he started being loud in 2018 onwards.

Back to the disbanding, I've always wondered if BTS thought hiding Jikook wasn't sustainable. Its alot of work keeping such a secret. I mean, look at the amount of slip ups. From all of them. And so I often wonder if this affected the Jikook rlship in any way. If over the years their rlship has ever put their group in a difficult position. A position where they thought about halting the breaks on their rlship. And I can see something like this coming from Jimin. Self sacrificing Jimin who puts other people's happiness before his own. And I wonder if this could have affected JK... badly. I'm not saying it happened. It's just something I can see happen. Aint no way the Jikook rlship hasn't caused trouble for all of them at one point or another.

I digressed. But y'all should be used to it by now 😂😂

In 2019 it was rumoured that it was Jimin's idea for them to spend their holidays separately. I already talked about it here how this affected JK. He went along with it, of course. I mean, its what Jimin wanted so of course JK went along with it. But to me it seems like JK would have been just fine being with Jimin over the holidays even though they were always together at work.

I've mentioned before how fascinating it is that they lived together and yet when they got to work JK was fighting to stand next to Jimin or was cheating so they could be on the same team. Like damn. You left the same house and are gonna take the same car to go and sleep in the same bed how do you still want to spend all your time with Jimin at work too????? No wonder Jimin wanted them to have a break from eo that holiday. It's not healthy. U need space.

You see what I mean, anon?

RM and Jin are two members we've seen complain that JK won't come out with them. (Jin in BV4 and RM in a recent live) I'm sure Suga would too but... I don't think they're that close 😂😂 (y'all know how I feel about Yoonkook. Don't start with me) As for V I'm pretty sure they're hanging out is a recent development. And I'm almost positive it's Jimin's doing. Then there's Jhope. Yes, 3J are close. But Jhope is Jimin's bestfriend. So he's gonna be around. But without Jimin, I feel like JK wouldn't bother.

Like, to me, in my opinion, it seems like when it comes to JK, Jimin is enough. He don't need other people. And I can see Jimin pushing him to make other friends, hang out with other people, etc. Wasn't the 97 liners first public appearance in 2019? Which is when Jimin suggested they do their own thing? I know they knew eo way before that. But JK must not have been spending time with them for Jimin to suggest they do their own thing.

See what I mean?

And let's not forget about JK coming live when Jimin leaves the country. When bae is gone, thats when the man remembers we exist 🤭🤭 but hey, I'm not mad at it.

Like I said my dear, it all comes down to satellite Jeon. I'm not saying JK can't live without Jimin but I think that's what he believes. That's why he's so protective and territorial coz he can't afford to lose Jimin.

I've brought up how all members have been caught thirsting over other men and women including Jimin but there is no footage out there that exists of JK checking out another person. I mean, he has eyes, he sees other attractive guys but Jimin seems to be the only one that does it for him. Not that I blame him, of course.

@yuelight98 I have said alot of words but I hope I have answered your question; Jikook are interdependent....there's no question about it. But, JK more than Jimin....

.

.

.

.

I know there are Jikookers who don't like Satellite Jeon. Usually they're the JK biased Jkkrs. And I get it. They think JK needs Jimin too much and wish he was more independent. But I think he is. To some extent. Or at least he's gotten better. And no, I dont think it makes him look weak at all. If anything we should be happy he is attached to the right person. A person who has the kindest soul and would never do anything to hurt him. A person who loves him back and takes great care of him. Maybe you wish JK didn't need Jimin so much. But I believe he's in good hands. Jimin fucking loves that man

Has adored him since the beginning

And he would do anything for him.

Trust.

[mulderscully]

lately i've been doing bad and i hate that. i feel like i should be happy. i have what i wanted. my own space, a full time adult job, freedom to come and go as i please. and i'm like at work trying not to cry in the bathroom, and all the disipline i taught myself last year feels like it's gone. i am so aware of how i don't have family and how little friends i have. and i'm grateful for the friends i have but i also understand why i don't have many and i wish i could be a more outgoing person. i feel like i've become mean and guarded and i hate that too. i want to be kinder. my ocd makes me do weird rituals that i hate explaining. i have pains in my stomach and chest that i can't tell are mental or physical. my eye keeps twitching. i have brain fog and keep forgetting things. i feel guilty about my problems when the world is so shitty. i barely talk to anyone irl outside of work so i'm terminally online, and feel stupidly rejected when others aren't, panic when i think i upset someone because my main social interactions happen here and i care abt it more than i should at 30. i pace the room back and forth just wishing i could call my mom in a way i haven't in all these years. i feel like i need a 3 month vacation from doing nothing. i never want to die but i can't find the point of life rn bc i've reached a goal i had for so long. idk i feel so weird everyday and i'm tired of it. i want people to comfort me but i don't want them to be aware i'm struggling. hmmm

[ickysubbyboi]

oh u being a personal dildo for me? that sounds promising!! i've always wanted to have a pretty boy around whenever I wanna get off but don't wanna use my fingers or my vibrator. the thing is I'm way too tight so you'll have to help me loosen up a bit, can u? ❤️ maybe at first eating me out, on your knees, not allowed to touch yourself. you're so eager that you won't stop after I cum because seeing me all fucked up and whining is driving you insane, so you get a good grip of my hips and start lapping more aggressively and then fucking me with your tongue like you wish it was your own dick instead, that's leaking precum all over and so hard it's kinda hurting by now (but you can't touch yourself yet, remember?). your tongue is making me feel fuller and hotter and it's so so hot but remember you'll have to stretch my little hole if you want your dick to fit inside, so you move your tongue to my pink puffy abused clit and put a single finger inside of me at first, it fits kinda easy because I'm so wet all over. you fuck your finger in and out my pussy at the same time you suck on my clit and the combined sensation feels so intense and so good. when you feel too impatient you add a second finger and the stretch feels different but so good when you move them inside of me. my hips are starting to move on their own and you use your other hand to touch my pretty boobs and to pinch on my nipples... maybe it's time to add a third finger, idk I'll let you continue, I hope you like my idea and let me know what else we could do 🥰

(btw I'm @babygirlboylover but it's a sideblog and it won't let me ask logged or follow with that handle idk why :(((

God that was such a read…It’s hard to not think about it when you phrase it so well. And giving a girl head is so perfect I can’t even explain. The way I’d be leaking and twitching there without even touching myself. Just hearing your pretty noises and feeling how wet your pussy is would make me feel good already. The way I wouldn’t want to stop tasting it. Such a perfect taste that I want to savior. Using my fingers at the same time while licking your clit all for your pleasure. There’s no better reward than being able to make a girl cum like this 😖

[turian]

beloved gamer mutual & comrade @rhubarbspring tagged me to do a video game about me ( tysm for tagging !! truly loved reading all ur game thoughts. <3 ) explanations behind my choices under the cut.

(also, i had to cheat a little bit in the "you love, everyone hates" category, because i don't think people on tumblr hate da2, but one of my best friends despises it because of reused assets and combat designed more for consoles than pcs. and i can't remember any other controversial beloved games right now. the best i can do is games i love that i'm not sure anyone remembers? imagine ubisoft ballet? which, like. do people hate that. i don't think so).

tagging @cowsquirrel @malcriada @sakraya @ansburg @anoramactir + literally anyone i might have missed who wants to do this

favourite game of all time: so, look, i hate her as much as i love her. i always go back to new vegas even though i have a lot of criticisms of it - i had a realization recently after the release of the fallout show that while maybe i was projecting intergenerational trauma onto the game and using it to process some things, there is a lot in the game that is extremely imperialistic, even as it dabbles in anti imperialism. i can't get into all that here - better essays than i'm capable of have already been written on new vegas - but i also have to admit that new vegas taught me to see game writing differently, and helped me a great deal in improving my own writing. it's also just really entertaining playing later games by obsidian and picking out the new vegas elements. i think that new vegas gets praised too readily for being progressive when in reality it's only the most progressive game in the fallout franchise, and i think every time i return to it i'm noticing one more thing that'll kind of be making my eye twitch. but, yeah, i think it would also be dishonest to not include it here, regardless of my mixed feelings, because i keep going back, and because there are so many angles to it, and because i keep catching myself comparing other games to it.

i think a lot about like........... how so many themes i can relate to exist within the narrative of new vegas, but that doesn't feel entirely intentional. like, benny is so real to me because ! he was forced to assimilate into this culture that was not his to survive. and ulysses as well. and like!!!! yeah idk. going insane. i feel very similarly about dragon age elves tbh i'm like okay i feel seen but also this game is racist! kms :') will be projecting hard and taking so much psychic damage

many such cases tho </3 baldur's gate 3 and their treatment of the gur is always going to be a mix of relatable and uncomfortable to me

favourite series: soulsborne! i like how bleak it is, love the theme of death and rebirth, love how thankless the games can be, and i also love how the combat reminds me of muay thai. had a coach explain something to me using dark souls combat as an example once. i didn't really get these games at first, until i saw my best friend playing - she is ridiculously good at them - and then i sort of realized that they're just combat puzzles, and that like... they're kind of about honing patience, i guess? and after that they really became my favourite.

best soundtrack: honorary mentions: mass effect and dark souls both have some individual tracks i revisit on the daily, and skyrim's secunda is beautiful. but hollow knight doesn't miss, and i love how every track matches its environment.

favourite protagonist: i grew up in a really dysfunctional somewhat criminal family so like... lol. i feel seen when i look at arthur morgan <3 him and charles are both close to my heart. john can stay too ig

favourite villain: SO okay, maybe this is cheating a little, but. the reapers from mass effect. went into that game with zero spoilers, and finding out that they were in fact cosmic horror games was so <3

this would probably have gone to new vegas except benny (and also ulysses + i think he's more narrative foil than antagonist, as is benny) literally did nothing wrong in my eyes and after that point it's like... who is the main antagonist? the ncr and legion both? like yeah they're interesting but...

best story: i haven't actually finished pathologic on my own yet. kind of obsessed, though. just feels responsible to put it here. honorary mentions to new vegas, some fromsoft titles, twd, imagine ubisoft ballet........ (i love her and i miss her).

i feel like a lot of story games i've played actually have garbage stories with good characters, which is why they're not here. baldur's gate 3 and ME, for example. or like... ME has a great story at first but they fuck up the ending so badly that a popular theory i've heard passed around essentially boils down to "it was all a dream!"

have not played but want to: i was actually supposed to apply for a job with the team that made these games !! i didn't because it would have required relocation to the US, but. idk i feel like they keep showing up, always highly recommended, and i think i own one? so yeah, i should really get around to that.

you love, everyone hates: again, i cheated on this one. i don't think people on here hate dragon age 2.

you hate, everyone loves: skyrim, detroit: become human, stardew valley (because it's a weird little cottagecore colonialism game but also because i don't really vibe with the art style and i get stressed as fuck in it because nothing is happening... it is simply not for me), and fallout 3 and 4 (because they're masquerading as games with choices but they fully aren't, they suffer from bethesda writing, and they are super unapologetically racist and imperialist). i mean like... not mad at any of my friends who like these games i just cannot play them. i don't really think any of the games on my list are unimpeachable, tbf.

favourite art style: disco elysium !! it's so <3 like, i also love it for other reasons!! but every time i play it i end up wanting to draw.

favourite ending: new vegas has four endings. i feel differently about them all, but the independent ending is very much shaped by the infrastructure the player assembles during a playthrough, and while it is maybe imperfect and very open ended in some ways i like how it doesn't really reassure the player. also, i really like certain elden ring endings and the dark souls 1 ending. and pathologic.

favourite boss fight: hollow knight has a lot i've really enjoyed (particularly hornet's). for elden ring, malenia is the fave, tho <3 when i defeat her i tend to feel really disappointed. like, get up. let's go again. parrying her is extremely satisfying.

childhood game: we like... found out we had some cousins which is wild because this has been a tiny family since Certain Incidents A Long Time Ago and they also had nintendo ds access and they were not into this game. and like... look, i'm not saying it's great, but it had dark souls ish combat? like, you could lock on? you could roll? and i ended up replaying it as an adult and being like. huh. not that bad.

+ imagine ubisoft ballet ily

relaxing games: distance, injustice 2 (i main red hood & black canary but i like playing robin too. it's super imbalanced and they still haven't nerfed starfire !! and it's incredibly funny like good for her), dark souls 1, and elden ring.

stressful games: again stardew valley because i would play with friends and it was like oh god i need to leave. i do not know what to do, i am useless, i am understimulated

+ red dead online is not a good game to play without substantial backup . so glad i had horse insurance because if i hadn't my only friend in that world would be dead. that said, i did like to hunt in that game + play the fps levels with groups

games you always come back to: new vegas but maybe she'll release me someday. idk. also unfortunately i didn't include it earlier but i keep going back to the sims 4 and baldur's gate 3. and fromsoft titles because i sometimes just crave that combat.

guilty pleasure: new vegas again!!! i guess i kind of talked about my extremely complicated feelings when i first spoke about it, but yeah. there's just so much to unpack and i'm never going to forgive it for a lot of things. the horrors and the joys are both numerous but the joys will never not be tainted by the horrors

tons of hours played: elden ring + bg3 + new vegas + mass effect. i don't have the hours of new vegas and mass effect available tho as they are confined to a now dead xbox 360

[randomsillyfangirl]

" You should marry me instead! " - Pablo Gavi x Reader

Plot: y/n and Pablo have been best friends for years, however they're secretly inlove with each other without knowing the feeling is mutual. Y/n feels as if she has to marry her boyfriend, but Pablo confesses his feelings for her and now she doesn't feel as if she must marry her boyfriend- soon to be ex. Warings: slight agsnt? Idk ------------------------------------------------------------You were in your little ' get ready room ' for your wedding, when you started to panic. You felt as if this was wrong. And many other people know it too. Your mother, father, cousins, best friend and even your sibling all asked if you're sure and it's not to late. But now you really felt like you couldn't do this.

You sent a text to your other best friend- Pablo Gavi. " please come to my room." it said. And as soon as Pablo saw it he came running to your room. Did he want you to get married? Yes. To your boyfriend? No. To him? Yes.

You were on the floor, head in your hands repeating " I can't do this" over and over- until the man you were actually in love with knocked on the door and then walked in. As soon as he saw you, he sat next to you, took your hands away from your face and held them- exposing your now ruined makeup.

" why can't you do this? " Pablo asked, watching your hands twitch with nerves. His voice was calm and it made you feel like you could actually tell him what's going on.

" I've.. I've made a mistake.." you started, Pablo looked up at you and watched your words. " I shouldn't be marrying him, I should be marrying-" you started, but was soon interrupted with Pablo shouting quickly.

" You should marry me instead!" You looked at him shocked, he was right. You hugged him tight and kissed his lips quickly. " you're right." you whispered softly and Pablo nodded.

" you understand me more than I understand myself. You've always been there. You're.. " you gulped " the person I should marry." you confessed and Pablo nodded.

" why did you agree to marry him then? " Pablo asked and you sighed. " I feel like I have to. You should've seen the way mine and his family reacted. If I said no- id disappoint everyone. " you took a deep breath, since you were talking really quickly.

" and you get over you." you confessed and Pablo kissed you passionately. " Don't ever get over me." he said once the kiss broke. And you smiled. You both knew- you weren't getting married tonight.

You got up, removed your smugged makeup and grabbed your spare clothes. " I'm going to call off the wedding." you said proudly and Pablo nodded. Once you were dressed you went to where everyone was, in the lobby of the hotel you booked for everyone to stay together.

You coughed as you announced that you're calling off the wedding. Everyone was shocked, other then of course your mother, father, cousins, best friend and even your sibling. Some people were outraged, and it made you feel horrible. You then talked to your now ex boyfriend- he also agreed the wedding was a bad idea.

You returned to your room (you had a separate one dw) to find Pablo there, cleaning up any msss you made in your panic. When he saw you come in he smiled brightly at you, you smiled back abit.

He came over to you and held your hands. " I know that wasn't easy.. I'm so sorry proud of you." Pablo whispered in your ear and then kissed your hairline.

You wrapped your arms around his chest and sobbed into his shoulder, explaining how people were mad. Pablo got mad at their reaction but he knew that you really didn't need for him to make a scene- you needed him to be with you tonight. And that's exactly what he did for you.

[4ssun]

not an ask but a "comment" because cas has me 🧍‍♀️.

firstly. yn is so irrational that i'm literally pulling strands of my hair out. but love is a strong emotion so i can understand to some extent? that doesn't excuse the amount of things she's done without proper consideration though..

uhh ok. the letter was probably about beomgyu leaving? (maybe quitting twitch and moving onto school studies) hence why chapter 26 is named "moving on".. and that's gonna be so hard to read bcs whenever i read anything ab recovery the tears FALL

27 being named "first love" is probably about felix because of the stems saying "still in love" (unless the chart was made on a website and the website didn't have a "still friends" option or something) or maybe it's a realization that though felix was an era of her life, beomgyu was her first true love?

i can guess 27-28 but don't want to put too much thought as twenty seven is most likely a reunion and twenty-eight is going more about that? the last chapter is more of what i wanted to focus on though because it's simply "cas" so i thinkk it's them dating again and just playing the sims together? like a timeskip? maybe there's a plot twist last second and the ghosts in the room they're playing the sims in go on stan twitter 🤨 (jokes but idk what to expect anymore)

something i was so mad at was yn completely skipping over the love confession and hating beomgyu... like yes that's understandable but PLEASE use empathy in this situation. you are no better than him, doing an impulsive stream because you think it's what's best.. both of them had better options yet decided to take the probably worst one and then yn completely looks past how she's just repeating in gyu's steps...

^^ seriously though because gyu let his love for yn take over and risked losing all his friends, lashed out on them, didn't let them see what he was thinking, and then runs away. yn closes up and is risking losing *everyone* because of love??

if the ending wasn't a happily ever after and my interpretation of 28 was wrong would i be mad? no... not really. if they did just leave each other as a past asset of their live and move on, i would accept that.. i feel like they both harmed each other without trying (excluding gyu being cold at the start) and both saw the major consequences. if they learn from their actions and 28 is just yn playing sims and reflecting on the times i would be okay because it's character development 👍👍

but if it was a happily ever after i would be happy too (as long as it's a timeskip because i can't imagine the ending being like 2 days after the implied unalive mention)

still would be okay with anything you write though 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

(this has got to be my favorite ask ever because you kind off?? read my mind?? in some ways!!)

i want to actually analyze a bit of what you said and offer you (and anyone else) some hints on the future chapters! to keep this from being a long paragraph of wall, i'll put a cut here!

yn and beomgyu are very alike in ways that you mentioned. both are impulsive, deeply feeling, and extremely irrational beings. but they are also different, yn is more openly emotional as we've seen with how she describes how she feels and shows her emotions outwardly. beomgyu, however, is not the same. he tends to not show his emotions (aka his initial coldness to yn) unless they're dragged out of him (keeho getting him to admit jealousy) and when he goes all out, he goes all out. hence his anger towards yeonjun. this will be touched on in chapter 28, which is a gyu-centric chapter.

the letter will also be touched on! but do keep in mind, in yn's emotional state and how she tends to be impulsive, her reaction to the letter might not make sense to someone who isn't irrational with how they respond when upset. also, it will be explained why yn doesn't react to beomgyu confessing that he loves her and how that ties in with his letter. (i can't wait hehe.)

i will say your theory for chapter 26 is spot on! however, i will say you're wrong about the character doing the tasks you mentioned. i don't want to give away too much but i literally was like 😲 when you said that bc that's exactly what happens hehe.

chapter 27 is about felix and yn! not gonna give spoilers on that one though... any ynlix shippers around?

chapters 28-29 are gyu-centric chapters, so if you wanna know why beomgyu decided to become dumb: those are the chapters for you!! can't wait to see how y'all react to that.

your views on yn and beomgyu are pretty much spot on. they both have made some very stupid decisions and are now reaping the consequences of those. however, i promise this story has a "happy" ending. will it be the traditional one of many smaus? probably not.

chapter 30 is also spot on in terms of plot with "someone" playing sims, but i don't wanna spoil it! my hint for you here is just to remember: everything comes full circle.

thank you so much for sending this ask! it's literally my favorite ever and i'm so flattered that you care about my smau enough to analyze and find theories!! <3 i hope these last 5 chapters do you justice.

(i gotta reblog this onto the writing blog though, so that hopefully everyone else can see it! this is my main hehe.)

[frogchiro]

Hey Kin! I’m the anon who sent in the foxboy!childe ask and I wanted to add onto what was said before! So after the litter is born, Childe becomes tasked with “translating” the babies actions/speech patterns for you since you’re not a fox hybrid! You end up learning what the shape and movements of the fox babies tail/ears means from him; and when the babies start vocalizing, I assume they might yelp/growl, and exhibit fox like characteristics that Childe helps decode to you 🥺 and you learn how to show your puppies how humans express affection as well as the fox hybrids do too!

Idk if this made sense but yeah ! Honestly your blog is great because breeding, pregnancy, raising babies with my fav genshin man is like one of my favorite comfort scenarios, and I feel like other people might get weirded when I talk about it 😭 it’s nice to know your blog is a space for the kinkier people, but for fluff writing as well ❤️

yes yes it makes perfect sense love! also you have no idea how much it means to me when people tell me that my blog has become a safe space for them 😭😭 different ppl have different tastes but that doesn't mean they can be assholes about it plus it's really nothing to be weirded out lol

f!reader, hybrids, reader is being referenced to as 'momma' or 'mommy', past pregnancy, nothing else really, just fluff with you, childe and your litter <3

that being said THE SCENARIO IS SO CUTE WTF

childe being a translator for your babies bc you don't really understand them yet it so adorable :(((( i imagine that the babies besides from the first 3 weeks period where they're basically blind and helpless, after that they are much more 'independent' than human babies since they're hybrids! like move around much quicker and efficient on all fours, their tiny ears and tails twitching sporadically and the most important aspect-the noises!

after the birth they only let out tiny pips which even you gathered that it was their way of asking for food but then as the weeks flew by their 'vocabulary' expanded bit by bit and quickly turned into them making mewls, pips, tiny hisses and yelps and some of them even tried their best at growling! childe laughed at his babies attempts at intimidating someone; their tiny toothless mouths and still soft claws were just too adorable to be intimidating as he often said.

and you as their momma were quite distressed! you could gather the basics when your puppies were hungry or cold or wanted to cuddle, but more complicated 'requests' were still tricky to understand which often led to you feeling terrible, even questioning if you were fit to be a mommy for them at all. luckily, childe being so in-tune with your emotions quickly sensed that his mate was in distress and immediately comforted you and explained that it was quite normal that as a human you wouldn't really understand 'pure' fox speech, especially since you only had to work with baby yelps and whines which were often confusing and intelligible even for hybrid folks, much like baby 'speech' was just gibberish for humans and their kids.

still, since he was a fox hybrid, your mate volunteered to translate you your babies 'talking' as good as he could and he guaranteed you that you'd learn their speech in no time and you were a great momma anyway~<3

and so, after another few weeks of childe decoding your little ones noises, you became almost an expert in understanding their widening vocalization! you really couldn't be happier when watching your growing babies as they played around the grassy clearing in front of your den together with childe, laughing at their antics and never feeling prouder when your tiny daughter crawled up to you and from her quiet whine you understood right away that she wanted to stay and cuddle with her parents <3

[aetherarf]

Don't know if you write nsfw since I can't find the rules, but if you do can you write a scenario for reader asking afab kunikuzushi to ride their face for the first time?

i do write nsfw i just dont have rules. i write what I want. that's abt it.

Writing this post-Sumeru but I'll be calling him Kunikuzushi

[my whole headcanon with that is he goes by wanderer cuz the other names are too upsetting until he reclaims kuni but. whatever. idk. I'm writing it I make the rules]

[[ NSFW CONTENT BELOW ]]

[[ Summary: Well, who said Kunikuzushi didn't deserve to be taken care of? Even if this is new to him... It's very, very intriguing. And it's good. ]]

[[ Word Count: 1'527 ]]

"Riding your face." Kunikuzushi said flatly, examining up and down you. As genuine as you looked, the suggestion was...

...

Well, he's not sure what it meant.

"Do you... know what that is?" You asked after a moment's hesitation, and he hesitated, staring at you, his fingers twitching in hesitance.

"Remind me." He said, knowing he completely didn't know, but he wasn't about to admit that. And he did not like that little laugh because it was at him, even if it was full of fondness that made him feel flustered.

But you did explain it, and he could only try to envision it in his head as you explains it, his eyes closed for a moment...

"It sounds impractical," He muttered, the moments before and after didn't sound exactly erotic, as just awkward and kind of clumsy... besides, wouldn't his legs strain pretty quickly?

"We don't have to," You said, "We can just-"

Immediately, he felt challenged. "No, we're doing it." He declared, before realizing what he had just agreed to, wanting to sink back into the earth and have it swallow him whole to what he just agreed to...

Not because he didn't want to. Yes, it did seem odd, but he also...

He also...

Was intrigued.

How could he not be? Anyone would be with a new experience. And this one... Was odd. But not bad. Not that he'd admit to himself it was bad, because it was you, and he couldn't possibly have a bad taste in partners, he knew because he chose you, you would make it good because you were you. He chose you for a reason.

Because he knew you were the best option. He wouldn't have picked you otherwise.

As the two of you made it to the bed, he was worried he'd have to immediately rip his pants off and get going, but while it was intriguing, he wasn't exactly... Wet. Or aroused. Intrigued was a totally different thing. He dealt with arousal... A little. Not enough. He regretted that he hadn't done it any more, especially since you were right here and so-

Not allowed to think with the feeling of lips on his own, he sighed softly, allowing himself to be pushed to the bed, enrapt in the motions, the lingering taste of sweet mochi the two of you had eaten a little earlier, but it tasted much better when it came off your tongue.

Was that gross?

Maybe. Humans were gross.

But as gross as humans were, and while you were human, he couldn't find himself to care.

Because you were the exception. You had to be, you were perfect. He would settle for no less than perfect.

He shuddered, feeling your hands trailing over his body- claiming it as yours, defining it as his, he could only let out a high-pitched keen in response, hands grabbing onto your sides, tight, needing something to anchor himself against as your nails lightly dragged over his skin-

It didn't hurt, but they would leave the faintest marks. A physical memory. It would fade and be replaced, but only with the same action, again and again and again.

"Kuni," You said, and that was enough to make him whine, "Kuni, let's get into position."

"Really?" He said, shockingly flat despite how red his face was, "Just-"

"Do you not want to?"

He did, he did, he really really did but asking for something meant that it could be denied, and that was so-

He bit his bottom lip, hard, just shy of bursting the skin and making it bleed, but leaving enough for steely marks to remain. He didn't want to stop, but admitting it...

He couldn't admit it, he couldn't he couldn't he couldn't!

"Do you want to stop?" You asked, and he shook his head, he did not want to stop. Why couldn't you telepathically understand? It was infuriating when he had wanted so much but his mouth would not work with him.

Maybe you did- or at least you could gather what war he was waging in his mind, "If you want me to stop, then just say 'stop'. Otherwise, I can just- I can do everything. I'll tell you where to move."

He nodded- He didn't have to risk getting rejected, of course, that was absurd! But...

...

Was he wrong for still being somewhat afraid? A small, nagging voice in his head that wouldn't shut the fuck up no matter what he tried-

He wasn't allowed to listen to it, or yell at it, whichever would've come first, until he was finally pulled up, clothes stripped methodically, your fingertips trailing over his hips, his sides- Such touching shouldn't be so good, but...

You were you, it was to be expected. You made everything perfect.

And while it was undeniably very awkward when the both of you had to shift around, to get into the position, the scene was obscene where he could see his sex- dripping, and your face right next to it. He instead lifted his head and stared at the wall, at the headboard,

"... Are you sure this... is right?" He asked hesitantly,

"it is. Just don't put your full weight down, and if I can't take it, I'll pinch your thigh."

He cringed a little- he did not want to get pinched, he hated that more than anything and Childe would constantly pinch him upon finding it out, and that fucking asshole-

No, he was not about to think about him. He'd think about him when he was going to beat some idiot senseless because the traveler asked or... something.

Not now.

He'd rather rip his own guts out through his mouth.

Feeling your hand running up and down his thigh, soothing, he remembered where he was, feeling a flush of heat at the obscene nature of this.

He reached forward and grabbed the headboard, and slowly began to lower himself, feeling your arms wrap around his legs-

And pull him down, enough that he squeaked [not that he'd admit to it later, if you were going to tease him despite being the one that asked!] in surprise.

And- "Ooooh..." He moaned softly, thighs quivering at the first, long lick of your tongue on his slit, pressing just enough to dip further, then pressing all the way to his clit-

"Ah! Ah... Keep doing that," He whispered, knowing that his thighs were lightly muffling any sound you'd be able to hear, which actually...

Was a good thing.

Feeling a strong stroke right over his clit, his legs tensed, and he whined out a pathetic moan, pressing down just- just a little more couldn't hurt, you said you'd pinch him if it was too much, it was fine, it was-

"More," He begged softly, trying to rock his hips against your face, desperate for more motion, more friction, more- Anything!

A distant, coherent part of himself was mocking the motion, No wonder it's calling 'riding', but every single part of him was pulled taut like a bowstring, so tight it could barely even tremble when toyed with, so ready to let go and snap-

He could feel your fingertips pressing gently, as though asking permission, against his folds, and his head hung low, he felt crazed, "Yes, yes, inside, inside, inside-"

Swiftly, two fingers slid in and curled and he screamed, throwing his head back and moaning so loud he sounded like a paid whore, but no one could pay him to sound like this, not when it kept going and going and going, so much he thought he was going to bleed out through screaming alone, how it kept mounting, your lips, your lips were so unforgiving on him, pressing so hard, so much so...

So...

Slowly, it relented, and he could feel himself shaking, panting, he... all he wanted to do was lie down-

Fuck, he- God it was such an uncomfortable position, awkwardly lifting one leg and practically just collapsing onto his side, narrowly avoiding hitting you square in the face as he just lie there, feeling the throbbing in his cunt, it was still strong, but fading gradually, just basking in the feeling...

Dozing a little, he eventually felt you wiping down his thighs, which he was thankful for, as sticky as they were...

But briefly, he paused, tilting to look back at you, seeing your loving gaze... And dry face. Perhaps you wiped down the mess?

But that didn't mean-

He pushed himself up, his hand on the back of your neck as he brought you closer, kissing you openly, his tongue scanning your mouth, drawing along your teeth, but much to his dismay, there was no taste of sex or reminder of what happened.

Only a slight minty taste.

"Did you brush your teeth?" He asked, offended you dare do so without letting him get a chance.

"Of course," You responded, "Why?"

He paused, looking over your expression, "Don't do it again until I tell you." He demanded...

After all...

You were going to do this again.

He couldn't go through life without doing it at least one more time. Maybe more than that.

Much more, ideally.

[alittlefrenchtree]

What would a good pr look like for you? Or, are there any principles you would suggest? I'm genuinely asking out of curiosity, cause we see so many things done badly (in a movie related industry), that even someone inexperienced like me can notice it all. You don't have to answer this if you don't feel comfortable, of course. Have a nice day :)

Hi there! Thank you for asking and for being so kind while doing it. I don't mind talking about this at all, don't worry 😊

I'm going to try to not take too long to answer but I already know I'm going to fail so I apologize in advance 😉 (edit after writing it: it's enormous, i'm so sorry. Hopefully, it's interesting. I'm crossing fingers for it to be at least readable 🤞).

Disclamer before I even try to start: I'm not a pr person (why do I even bother opening my mouth then? Idk either). I've already said it before but I always like a little bit of context, so. I'm not a pr person but I've studied (for about 3 seconds) fields close to pr or even directly related to pr in college, worked more or less close to a pr department (for about 3 other seconds) and have now been working... for let's say the other side of one fence for at least a good 5 minutes. I'm not close to pr people but I can see some effects of what they're doing on a regular basis. It's not pretty clear but i'm just saying that even if I'm not a pr person, I've been evolving around the field for a while, and even more than that, I've been watching (too) many public people from up close for way too many years. That doesn't make me an expert obviously, but I think it makes me at least someone who knows where to look and how to look in most cases. Obviously I won't say too many stupid things.

Ok, that being said.

In theory, a good pr move is a pr move that: a) reach its targeted audience in the way that was planned b) improve or doesn't hurt the image of the person/brand and c) make the people/entity who give the person/brand money happy (or at least, isn't hurting the rich people/brand's values). Some pr are more specifically designed for one or two of these goals, the three being the perfect combo.

I've said it before but it's always a important reminder that just a pr move not being good for me doesn't mean it's not a good pr move at all. It's most likely mean that I'm not in the targeted audience.

About principles... Again, I'm not sure if I can give a straight answer but, it's what I like about public relations. For me, even if of course you can learn things in theory, the beauty of pr is to completely adapt to the client. Trying to transpose pre-existing patterns on different people or different brands is not doomed to fail but, still in my opinion, very limited. So the only important principles for me are, a) to know (and respect) the audience you want to talk to and b) to not twist too much the identity of your client (whether it's a person, a person that has become a brand, or a brand).

The b) yet, is still debatable. If your client (person/person-brand/brand) is either shy or boring or extremely detestable or all of the above, you can think the only way to make them catchy is to completely twist them. For me, it could have been a good idea until... a few years ago. Before social media, twisting a nature for public image purpose could work. Before social media, public entities and audiences weren't talking that much together, so it was doable. Say I was an asshole singer in the 80's. All my pr people had to do is to make sure I appear somehow lovable during the 5 weeks a year I was promoting something (while all I was doing is around 2 things on tv, 3 things on radio and 5 things on written press) and I could be an asshole the rest of the year and nobody would know nothing about. At worst, someone would have a bad experience with me, but that someone would just talk about it to their four friends and two parents and that's about it. Or it would be a vague rumor, but no one would care that much. Like many things today, social media has changed things. Many public person have social media accounts, which means twisting the nature of the client is... way more complicated and more likely doomed to fail at some point. Of course you can be a public entity and not have any form of social media presence. First, it's going to be rarer with time because in the majority of the cases, it's shooting yourself (or your activity) in the foot. But even more importantly, not having social media account for yourself doesn't prevent you from their effects, because everyone else around you has social media accounts. Say I'm still an asshole singer in... say a post-covid world because otherwise it's too complicated. I'm still doing that 5 weeks promo tour to present my new album but this time, my agent is documenting everything on their own social media accounts to promote their own selves and work (because unlike me, they're smart and know social media are part of the business). During that tour, the media I'll interact with will probably be more plenty than the ones I would have met in the 80s because there are way more media than before. Every one of them has their own media accounts, for which they're going to create social media content (of backstage,...). Even more, some media are only social media based and will propose mostly content based on my personality. Remember that one person who had a bad experience with me in the 80's but had mostly no consequence? Now that person can share this with their 135 followers on Twitter who all have a RT button or on a post on their Instagram account and tagged their story on my account (if I have one) or on every fan account or on my agent account or on my mom account or everywhere people go when they want to lurk/stalk content about me. And well, you know the Internet, if 100 people knows, everyone knows. Even outside of my 5 weeks promo, every person I meet can morph into a viral story on the Internet. Which let me circle back to what I was saying in the first place. In a time where the flow of content is almost non-stop and the (media) public place is almost everywhere, having a pr strategy based on something dramatically opposed to who you are is tricky and not really viable in a long term. Especially when, in my opinion, you can work with everything in pr. You can adjust certain things, choose to hide some other parts, highlight other without changing everything. If you're good enough, you can make the most boring person relatable to an audience and work from that. I think the easiest way to make pr works is to based it on something real. Even if you then make it ten times bigger for public purpose, starting from something real makes everything easier.

When I wrote the post earlier, about public relations being interesting, I was mostly referring to what I see happening on Twitch and with streamers lately (if you're not familiar with this universe yet, just imagine a youtuber who only is only making live content and who mostly live on paid subscriptions from viewers instead of advertisement). It's nothing revolutionary, but I do appreciate the predominant transparency I hear in some of them. Yet again, because of the nature of their activity, transparency with their audience is in itself a good pr move. When you've spent 9hours a day, 6days a week live streaming for an audience without any edit or filter, transparency is often required. But still, it was really refreshing to hear that guy, who is and has been considered as the number one streamer in France for many years having that kind of speech. He was explaining how this thing he did hadn't making him earn any money but was good for his image and how that other thing he did was for money and many others things like these. And you find out that thing that could be badly perceive by the audience (such as doing something for money when you are supposed to have a job of passion) isn't at all perceive as so when you're explaining it to the audience and why you're doing it, where the money goes next and what you're going to do with it, etc.

What I like about pr is that, the possibilities of creativity are endless. Especially now, with all the new (that aren't that new anymore) technologies and the internet and the social media and the fact that everybody with a smartphone or an internet access is reachable from anywhere in the world. When I see something as the Travis Scott event on Fortnite and I see that you can virtually gather together 28 millions of people from all over the world for a concert (especially during a global pandemic), it's like, fucking mind-blowing and absolutely genius in so many levels. When we talk about pr, I wish people would think about stuff like events like that instead of just a set up lie or something to mislead the audience or something. But it also comes from pr people and teams and from public people themselves to not see pr as a mean to an end (selling something to an audience, making some rich people happy, etc.) but as a science as much as an art, and an occasion to produce something interesting, exciting and to create emotions.

Have a nice day/everning/night as well, Nonny. Thank you for stopping by 💜

[a-walk-in-silver-rain]

Hello! So I saw that this account was fairly new and while I was scrolling through matchups I found your account and decided why not? So if it's alright with you, may I request an Obey Me Match-up?

My name is Nox or Ohjuu, afab Agender (he/it/they pronouns), 5'7 feet, has short, fluffy red hair, and my body type is muscular with fluff (pretty thicc in the thighs but shhhhhh insecurities-). My signs are Capricorn (Sun), Gemini (Moon), and Cancer (Rising); my MBTI type is ESTJ / ISTJ and my personality type is 6w5. Just to add a lil tidbit my clothing aesthetic is grudge/flannel/depressed artist/skater boi if that makes any sense? Giving love language is 1, gift giving 2, acts of service, 3 physical touch (all depends on partner.) Receiving love language is 1, Physical Touch and Words of Affrimation (these two are at a tie) 2, Acts of service 3, Quality Time.

Describing my personality may be kinda tough because it always changes depending who I'm around with and everyone will have a different opinion of me no matter what I do. But I would like to think I'm open minded, empathetic, caring, generous, serious and quite, at least that's what I think and I'm usuallythe mom/quite/therapist friend, I should probably mention that despite this not many people come near or even talk to me, probablybecauseof my resting bitch face, but peopleusuallyleave me be, which is good in some cases. Though those are the basic points to myself, however I can't just ignore my bad qualities either, I'm quick to anger depending on the situation, I'll stand up for others but i won't stand up/will take the blame for myself, I'm self sacrificing (I heard told I do that but I just mainly do it on command, to my I do it because it's my way of proving that I care for someone or that I would rather get hurt myself rather than them), I have little to no confidence in myself albeit I actually try to stay that way, and I'm a bit self depreciating....a lot (though that's in private or I make jokes about it-)Though even though I am like this, for self depreciation, and opiate mindset is what I need (Me = self depreciating, Partner = hopefully not the same). And I feel a bit of a cluster fuck when it comes to me or my personality (having wrath actually kinda makes me feel worse because I kind have trauma over people with wrath and knowing I have it makes me feel horrible.)

Hobbies? Well I don't have many but when I'm not on burnout I really like to draw a lot, it helps especially when I need to vent out something (seeing art that was drawn out of sadness or anger you can tell and it's kinda creepy how it does that.) Also coaplay is a favorite pass time as well! Though I don't do it too often, but when I do it's really fun! And finally in 3rd place I have gaming, I wouldn't really call myself a gamer but there are a couple games that peak my interest (Genshin Impact, Pokémon, Hallow Knight are some.) Honorable mentions are Hiking/Walking (I actually mean that), watching some shows/anime, and idk daydreaming I guess?

I should probably mention a few things like interests that hasn't already been mentioned in hobbies. I like to cook, I think I'm a pretty good cook, so I do it, I mostly do savory stuff and I usually like the food spicy though usually my friends/family can't really handle something more than mild, which makes me sad. I actually have an interest in animal science and I hope to become a veterinarian or at least someone that works with animals and if we're talk about animals, dogs or cats? I have to pick both (though exceptoon if the dog is big, I love big dogs), but I really can't choose, but if I get a third option I choose snakes. I use to have an instrest in poetry, but I'm stoped for a bit because not many people like dark poetry (I never really write lighthearted poetry because it always end up being dark even without me trying-.)

Quirks? Not a BNHA reference but I should mention some more things about myself, I'm sensitive to light and crowds, the light makes my eyes hurt and kinda faint and crowds just get me worked up and my flight responses kinda kick in (I usually try to keep my room as dark as possible and secluded because of this.) I kinda have poor memory, and sometimes I remember stuff and sometimes I don't, I have some tics that don't appear too often but when they do I usually make a hissing sound, a weird vocal sound, and with that comes some kind if head twitch, I can control it better in public but some of it slips and it's quite embarrassing. I WILL go into flight or fight mode if I'm being yelled or scolded at or if I hear yelling in general, depending on who it is I go with flight but I will go fight if needed, not only can't I not stand the loudness or tone but I usually don't need people criticizing, scolding, or hating me when I can perfectly do it myself. I shouldalso mention I'mtired almost all the time, even when I sleep well, I just feel sluggish a lot and I just wish I could sleep but I really don't like it because I know I need to get work done but motivation is coming slow these days. Finally umm....also as a defense or regular manurism I hiss and growl, kinda like a cat and/or wolf, usually confuses people enough for me to get away in situations but I sometimes like to do it when I'm angry or when to fuck with people.

And uhhhh yeah that's it from me! I really really really hope this wasn't too much information or if I wrote something down that was triggering OR that I was being a but too self depreciating. Anyways I really hope you have a good day!!

Hiya! Thanks for sending in a request! And don't worry about it you didn't write too much! I hope you have a lovely day/night too! (^_^)

I'd match you with...

Mammon

I think that you and Mammon would work really well together since you've added that your love language for giving is acts of service and physical touch which Mammon is definitely touch starved. And even just small things like touching his shoulder while talking to him or to get his attention would make him a bit happier. As for the acts of service, Mammon is normally the one asking for things like if he needs help with studying. Having some just do something for him or ask instead of him vouln-telling someone to help would kinda confuse him though he'd be happy.

Mammon being Mammon is a tsundere, this means you'll likely be spending a lot of time around him while he says he there because he could tell you wanted him around or something like that. He'd try to help you where he can and do little things he notices, and although he's not the best with words he'd try his hardest to comfort you.

Being the mom/therapist friend would definitely come in handy when with Mammon since he's not great with keeping his impulses and strange schemes in check. Mammon could use someone to just talk to about his feeling and the bullying of his brothers. Being able to have someone who cook would definitely help his eating habits since he eats a lot of cup ramen (I remember something say that in game) since he’s not to great of a chef himself. 

I feel like Mammon would be so soft for you, he'd be absolutely terrible at hiding but he'd try in public and in front of his brothers. Mammon's happy watching you cosplay or draw. He might request you try and show him how to do it cause it can't be that hard right? But he'd definitely try and play some of the games you play and suggest some you two might be able to play together. He would definitely get confused by Genshin and how much stuff there is to keep track of. He'd most likely just follow you around trying to help you kill stuff.

I can’t imagine see Mammon not liking any of your pet preferences since I feel like he like dogs more but would totally be chill with a cat. I think you might scare Mammon with you poetry depending on how dark you write each particular piece. He’d be supportive but just don’t read them to him before bed. 

The biggest problem with being with Mammon is how loud he can get, he doesn’t really notice when he does so you’ll probably have to bring it to his attention if you want him to quite down. If he ever saw or sensed that you were starting to go into your flight response when in a public area he’d pull you into him or pick you up and run off to a much more secluded area. Lastly there’s no way he’d really mind your ticks and your quirks he might question it a bit at first but if you just explain it he be fine, still might not get it but won’t really question it further. 

Thank you so much for the matchup! I hope you liked it! Any feedback would be great!

[dirty-urie]

More Questions (if you don't mind):

1. Favorite game you've watched B play?

2. Favorite music video?

3. Favorite era?

4. Favorite collab?

5. If you could ask Brendon to explain any song in-depth what would it be?

6. What would be your dream Twitch stream for him to do?

7. If you could see any song live what would it be?

8. What non-album project/collaboration would you want next?

9. You mentioned THROAM, so were you ever a ryden shipper?

10. Do you think Panic! is a "dying fandom"?

1. Life is Strange was fun for sure, and I loved that one Red Dead stream with him in the dumbass hat he stole from his dad, and the pirate game was super fun because of his sailing playlist.

2. Either G/G/B because I’m a whore or New Perspective because Megan Fox <3

3. Vices was fun because of his onstage banter (he was so little and scrappy), but knowing how depressed he was at the time ruins it a little. I don’t think I could have a favorite era anyway though.

4. Ms. Jackson I guess? The problem with most collabs is that there’s another person singing when Brendon could be sooo (jkjkjk, I’m sure there’s a collab I like that I’m forgetting.)

5. I feel like DTMWAGT has a BUNCH of stories behind it, so I’d be getting my money’s worth, but he’s specifically said he doesn’t want to talk about New Perspective, which means I want to hear about it more. What does “there’s a haze above my TV mean”?

6. I wanna make him watch Twilight. All five movies. Mostly because he’s said he won’t. Other than that, AND I NEVER SAID THIS, but if I did say this, which I didn’t, it’s only because Brendon himself has briefly mentioned it, but I think a stream of him reading his own fanfic would be fun. Like if he did it as a charity thing? Maybe the fics get progressively more explicit (or just weirder if he wanted to stay away from the sexual ones) as more money is raised. I NEVER SAID THIS THOUGH, fanfic is for the fans, etc, etc.

7. Idk, probably anything from Fever because I’m sad I missed that era.

8. Anything Broadway (either him performing in another show or him finally doing that Panic! musical he’s talked about). I’d love him to do a podcast, mostly telling stories and chatting with people in the general panic orbit. And I want him to write a book at some point, but not until he’s older. Also a sex tape.

9. Not really. I definitely get it, but it’s not my thing.

10. This was a jarring question, Jesus. Yes and no? We were slowly losing fans as pre-allegations (because he was cancelled before then AND instagram and Twitter were cracking down on fan accounts) and then we lost fans en masse when the allegations came and since then, it’s steadied out. Some have come back, but even if you support Brendon, it’s kinda hard to be a panic! fan because to this day, anti’s are BRUTAL. I don’t think the fanbase will ever be the same (I think it’ll probably skew older, probably be smaller, less involved), but I don’t think you can have a dying fandom when the media it’s based on isn’t dead yet. And even if Panic! breaks up (which I don’t think it will, knock on wood), I think Brendon will continue working publicly in some capacity, and fans will support. And if the panic! fandom dies, no one will be around to like my posts. :(

[saad-days]

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April 7, 2022

I really don't want to embarass myself or self-sabotage but I want to just keep gushing about him.

I really don’t want to count my eggs before they hatch but this feels….different. Like I don't know how to explain it - but intuitively I just get this “knowing” or feeling when I start seeing someone how to describe it but I always just know if it's gonna last or be a fizzle and fade. And this time idk how to explain it but - I’ve never felt this way, like maybe sort of when I first met Wil but it's still different than even that. All this weird physical stuff has been happening to me - like I've been only sleeping around 3 hrs a night and I have this weird constant energized elated feeling. The only way I feel I can describe it is that it feels like wearing Moldavite all the time, even though I am not.

You have quickly become my favorite person to hear from and my favorite person to talk. The way our conversations flow is so natural and so vibrant and fun and just the vibe - as the kids say - is immaculate.

And just I feel so lucky that not only do we have so much in common, we both adore talking with each other, are attracted to each other, but you're older and have your shit together. I just am very into the fact that you're 32, that you have financial stability, a place you can afford, pets, just all of this maturity is so fucking nice and such a massive shift from the people I was dating - who almost always just made me feel I was taking care of them or they were interested in me because I was far more stable than them.

Darling you are so pretty it hurts. Really a boy this beautiful is just so very very rare. Beautiful and handsome all at the same time. You have the feminine qualities I like and look for in cis males, with the soft perfect skin, nice eyebrows, earrings, painted nails, like boy you are perfectly andro for me ugh. And I cannot get over how hot you are. I usually don't care THAT much about a slim and decently-built physique but holy shit do you blow everyone I have ever dated out of the fucking ocean.

I cannot stress enough how disappointed I am that I'm going away as you're returning and we can't see each other this weekend. Like I barely know you yet I find myself longing to be with you again - missing you, thinking of you constantly.

I think you feel the same? At least, it seems you do. But I'm terrified to get attached just to have you leave. I want you to the one that sticks around. Because, the truth is - I think we could really build something real together. I can see us having a life together, like really truly I don't get that "red flag" feeling whenever I start to think of the future with you. And I've had that with everyone else before you and chose to ignore it. But that is not the feeling this time and I feel like I'm finally happy again and I actually have so much to look forward to every day. Compared to life in January, I am a completely different person. I'm not thinking about death and not wanting to be alive. I've let go of what held me back and down forever. And I wish I had done this a year ago, I wish I had listened to everyone instead of acting like I was going to fight fate and reality.

It's almost hard to recognize myself, slowly I've changed, turned into someone else. And yet also found my way back to who I am.

The last year was maybe the hardest one I've been through and yet I'm grateful for the lowest lows because I became stronger and can appreciate this joy and love that is entering my life now.#journal#journal entry#journaling#getting over someone#moving on#new love#realtionships#happiness#self love#self care#saad days1 notesaad-days

Scotty

I can't believe I'm writing about a boy. I didn't expect our meeting to be anything honestly. I thought I was into someone else until you walked up to my door in your black docs and ripped black jeans, pushing your curly brown hair out of a perfectly sculpted face, meeting my eyes and smiling big, showing off those fucking adorable dimples.

After everything since summer 2020 I really didn't have any hope or expectations for romance - especially with a cis, straight man - if I'm being completely honest. I really thought I was done with y'all after my ex, but my sexuality is fluid and I like who I like. But here I am, hoping !

So for myself - and I guess whomever is reading this - let's take this back to the first day we met after I managed to re-hinge my jaw from the floor where it dropped when I first saw him.

April 1st and if you weren't a Virgo I might've thought it was some type of sick universal joke on me. Because there is no way I would have such luck. I actually ghosted him when I started talking to Malcolm in February and I just stopped responding. But when I went back on tinder recently, I felt weirdly compelled to respond to him again and get to know him more. So I did something I almost never do: I gave this stranger on the internet my number. I know right? Absolutely wild of me! No one does this! (lol) And I'm so glad I did.

**this is my journal so I am allowed to ramble without making this make sense as some sort of "piece".

Immediately I felt extremely comfortable around you - despite being incredibly self-conscious and nervous after meeting you in the flesh. You surprised me with your nice smile, your nice car, your aesthetic matching my own, your mature and somewhat stoic nature, and yet your ability to quietly and smoothly insert compliments and niceties that knock me silly and make me blush. The fact that you not only actually listened to the playlists I forcibly sent you, but that you LIKED them and then went on to enjoy the bands that you didn't know in them, tell me about them, and then PLAY MY PLAYLISTS FOR YOUR FRIENDS?!

Like BOY. You have got to be kidding me with this one. My whole heart is full.

Not only that but he was so into Horror movies and had watched all of Pretty Face and knew Henry Zebrowski. Just green flags left, right, up AND down. We even talked about Aliens man.

Just everything felt right. And for days before meeting him I was barely sleeping, my heart was constantly beating out of my chest and I felt so anxious and weird - as if something huge was coming. These are actually all things I experience before something life-changing happens to me or someone very important is coming into my life.

I went in expecting the usual tinder date. A guy that wants a lot more from me than I from him. A guy who is usually far more interested romantically and physically in me than I could ever even have the capacity for in return.

But this was not that. I immediately could tell this was different. The energy between us seemed to vibrate and I felt those butterflies beating at my ribcage and rising up into my heart, giving me palpitations. You made my cheeks flush and my brain-to-mouth connection was rendered completely useless by just your presence.

Going back to my place after kava was unexpected honestly, I was not going to have you over after, but when you asked it just felt right. I will say I was nervous because I then started to think you just wanted to get into my pants and....at this point - after getting to know how absolutely fascinating you as a person and your experiences and background were, and the fact that we hold the same love & family values and are in similar situations in terms of our families - I wanted more. And when you went to put your arm around me and asked if that was okay my heart skipped maybe 6 beats. And then to hear that you were so nervous just to do that - wow.

Lighting cupping my face in your hand and kissing me so softly - I felt this white-hot electricity between us and if I'm being honest I never thought I would feel what you awoke inside me again. I never thought anyone other than my ex could stir this type of feeling - this feeling that I know turns into love, in me ever again. I thought everyone else would be nothing compared to that love, that I would never feel this way again.

Is this real? Can I trust this? Can I trust you not to use me, hurt me, ghost me? Waiting this out until we can speak again Saturday is kinda killing me because then I get stuck with all these what-ifs? What if you meet some hot babe on the cruise and decide fuck this 27 yr old chick and I never hear from you again? I don't think so but that hooded emperor palpatine version of myself tells me he's gonna find someone better and I'm nothing. I know that's not how he feels but that part of me still shows up to haunt my joy sometimes.

You're away this week and I just hope that I will hear from you as soon as you get back on the mainland on Saturday.#dating#romance#journal#journal entry#saad days#tinder#first datesaad-days#cat#kitten#tongue#cat tongue#dopey#doofus

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April 22. 2022

And I have entered my 28th season. I felt like I had moved into this new chapter months ago though. But I can't believe how much has changed. I feel like I've become a completely different person, and yet found my way back to who I really am and what makes me truly happy and fulfilled. I feel like finally my dreams and goals for myself are manifesting currently.