#idk how the american school system works oops

[chungledown-bimothy]

That tattoo is so good omg!! I've been wanting to get another one for so long, but I don't know what I'd get quite just yet!!

Ajdhhdd literally I looked at Saccharina and my brain just went "OOP, favorite character" but also like. As a lesbian, gooey was just 👀👀👀 (sorry if that's TMI or anything!)

That is such a good line!! Ally is so funny to me- the pure indignation they put into that line and others when it comes to Preston's unfortunate demise was always so great. Also, I love that they constantly try to cover different aspects of the queer experience!

Oooof, Mormonism is rough. I grew up in a predominantly Mormon town (as in, more Mormons per Capita than Salt lake city) and most of my friends growing up were Mormon. All of the architecture in the temples and stuff looked (from the outside, at least. I was obviously never allowed inside) so sterile! I can't imagine that. What did you do during the 3 hours of church?? Because catholic mass is only like an hour and as a kid I got so bored I wouldn't pay attention at all.

I would literally just study all the gargoyles/angels/faces in general carved into the walls and ceiling, as well as the stained glass windows and statues. My brother and I got into trouble a few times because neither of us paid attention 😂 one time, we both stood up because our grandparents and most people around us stood up, and we didn't understand why our grandparents kept frantically trying to get us to sit down until the priest started talking about how all the married couples in the church were standing 😂😂 (it was valentine's day).

AaAAAAA I'm literally so excited!!!! I've been on a FOB kick lately! What are some of your favorite songs by them?

I wish I could do that 😭 I work nights (7 days where I work 12-hour shifts and then I have 7 days off) and Wednesdays are my Mondays and Fridays, so I'm usually sleeping most of the day!! But once I'm at work, I'm absolutely gonna be juggling both to the best of my ability!

- 🪐

thanks! it was my first, and it's the only one i've gotten so far that hasn't aged terribly lmfao

"another?" mind if i ask about your current tattoo situation? (no worries, of course, if you'd rather not)

i've been so thirsty for so many npcs on this blog, being into gooey is so far from tmi lol

i love ally so much. it's a little bit headcanon-y, but i think that, with timothy, they've now had a character that is L G B and T (i choose to believe pete is bi) and, of course, ace icon liam wilhelmina.

oof that's a fuckin lot of mormons

i've only been inside temples a few times (i started dating a non-member and therefore was unworthy to enter any more), and i left entirely before i could do any of the Really Culty Stuff, but trust me, the inside is even more sterile looking than the outside. everything is white and beige and boring as all hell.

iirc they changed it to 2 hours a few years back (now they alternate doing what used to be the second and third hours), but the 3 hour system was:

the first hour was essentially mass. everyone in one room, getting preached at, sacrament (rebranded communion), singing songs.

the second hour was sunday school. idk how the adults split up, maybe it was one big class? i left when i was 17. but the kids were split up by age, each group had a teacher, and we studied different parts of the scriptures and sometimes church history.

the third hour was essentially 5 separate second, smaller versions of the first hour, separated by age and gender (everyone under 12, 12-17 boys, 12-17 girls, adult men, adult women), but without the sacrament.

it was fucking terrible lmao

holy shit that's hilarious 😂 i was always too Anxious to cause trouble, but my brothers definitely did a lot of jumping up on the seats and making noise

oh goodness um. of all the gin joints and thks fr th mmrs for sure. dance dance goes without saying. also my songs know what you did in the dark.

the entirety of american beauty/american psycho fucks HARD.

i'm not good at picking favorite songs, clearly lmao

that's a fucking killer schedule my god D:

[zikasmops-blog]

“do you wanna be my valentine?(teacher! michael mell X teacher! reader headcannons)

- michael is a music teacher (can’t you tell) and you’re an art teacher

- your classes are often before his and whenever the kids “forgot” their stuff (the older kids mostly do this so they get to see you and michael in the same room) 

- michael brings the things and he’ll sing, “Michael makes an entrance!!!” when he enters, which make the kids and you laugh (even though he does this all the time)

- the kids obviously love how funny michael oops no Mr. Mell is and so do you... secretly

- jeremy (who teaches science) bets with the older kids when you guys would start dating

- whenever you and michael had free periods you guys would chill out in one of your classes and geek out about art (visual and performance)

- most of the kids ship you two together

- one time on valentine’s day, during one of the periods, michael brought a bouquet of flowers to class to give to you and asked you out 

- the whole class went, “awwwwww” when he did that

- “do you wanna be my valentine?”

- you blushed AND said yes, michael was also stuttering the whole time

- it was the beginning of what would blossom into a major relationship

- jeremy loses the bets and has to pay the kids 

- when you and michael found out about jeremy and the kids betting, michael totally killed jeremy

- like when you guys found out during the end of school, you could hear michael chasing jeremy

- “nO! micHAeL!”

should i do a part 2??

[haec-est-fides]

I think i sent you an ask a while ago but maybe tumblr ate it? Idk but anyways I wanted to know what you thought about New Rome/CJ in terms of like economics and resources. Do they grow and raise their own crops and livestock? Do they import it or is it magically provided? They use denarii, but is US cash also used? Do they have mints for denarii (and same question for chb and drachma) or does Olympus just have a fund for them? Where did they get all that marble from? Does the outside world acknowledge New Rome University? Do they have hospitals for non-magical surgeries and the like? Elementary schools? Are there trade schools or is it a master/apprentice system? Have they had to expand the city for population growth or has it been fairly steady bc it seems like CJ has a way lower mortality rate than CHB. Like, I just really want to know what their resource management and supply lines look like and I dont think it was really touched on in canon (like most things oops-). Thx for answering!

(Sorry for missing this! I've been in other headspaces lately but thank you so much for the ask!)

All of these are such vital and amazing questions, but the simple fact is that Riordan didn't think any of it through. 😔

Personally, I HIGHLY doubt that the city or camp can sustain itself. It's just not,,,feasible? I think it's probable (even canon? if my memory serves) that the city and camp do supply some of their own resources (I'm thinking especially grapes, maybe olives, etc.)! To handwave it as magic would be easiest, and the food at CJ's mess is magically provided (right?), but that can't be said for the whole city. That'd be ridiculous. This is a whole city, albeit a small one (?), so they have to be importing some -- if not a majority -- of their goods. It would make sense imo if they (to the outside world) ran a winery or other type of farm(s) and made money that way, to buy everything else they need. That said, there's surely some economic activity that's basically contained? Like, there are people who work with the outside world and bring goods in or get goods out, but others buy from those go-betweens and sell just to Romans (like chariots, etc.). Other, non-agricultural exports are probably common too, like idk artisans with Etsy accounts. Historical replica goods are a huge and lucrative market, and I can easily imagine NR capitalizing on that. I also don't think anything is stopping the average New Roman from driving a few miles to like, Target. I think they have groceries and the like in their community that are much more convenient, and I'm sure culturally their consumer habits are different than the American norm, but they probably are just going to the mall to buy stuff pretty often.

As for money,,,oh man. They HAVE to have a mint!!! A bank!!! WHERE else are the denarii coming from or being kept?! Maybe the coins are mainly in circulation within NR / CJ, which means they could be mostly old, but that's just not how economies work. They'd need to get gold and silver and mint new coins at some point. Which raises some fun questions like do they have their own imprints based on,,,what, year? Leadership? (The City Has To Have Its Own Leadership Structure Of Some Kind And You Can't Change My Mind btw.) Or is it standardized at this point? (Yawn.) I'd guess that you could probably use USD most places in New Rome, but not in camp? And people might still look at you funny. There are probably a decent number of places in the city to exchange currency though, if not just the main bank. Because, lest we forget the theme here, New Rome's community goes far beyond its borders! It is not Camp Half-Blood!

The marble! If we're talking about Temple Hill specifically, that's (mostly) as old as the city / camp, right? Maybe some of that was donated by the gods / obtained through mysterious means or brought from the previous Roman settlement somehow, but come on, the majority has to be imported!

NRU is a whole can of worms asdfghjkl. Which reminds me of when I thought about citizenship and like, I.D.s and addresses, etc.! To make this work even a little bit the way it seems to in the books, we're assuming that people born in / who live in NR DO legally exist in the United States. So. To me it would make sense that NR is maybe a mist-edited city? That way these people are U.S. citizens and can vote and pay taxes and all that, but the details of everything are obscured to outsiders? Maybe the U.S. postal service has a drop at the edge of the city and then they have an internal mail service? This whole deal is WILD and it's because, unlike CHB, these people LIVE here and are BORN here and WORK here and?! Driving me insane. If I'm assuming this about basic legal documents, I'm also assuming NRU transcripts and degrees (and any from primary education!!) ARE valid outside of NR, but the details are fuzzy to any outsider reading them lmao? And ofc NRU can't work with any other universities like most universities tend to, like in local / international partnerships? Actually it'd be pretty funny if NRU students can travel to other universities to do research or whatever on the "mist-documents and no one asks questions" principle, but students from outside can't do the same.

Again, I really feel like New Rome is a functioning city to an extent, so,,,yes to at least one hospital that is not the legion's -- though that isn't to say they don't use magic for "normal" illnesses or procedures, because why wouldn't they if they have that available? And yes at least one elementary, middle, and high school. (Aside: how many families / kids are we thinking actually live in NR?) I think it'd make sense for a LOT of the traditional, "Roman" jobs to be master / apprentice style, but there could be more modern trade education built into the high school or university? Catering towards more modern trades or for those who are seeking to live outside of the city.

Fantastic point re. the mortality rate and population btw! I feel like NR has definitely expanded since it was founded, but it has to have a limit on that expansion because it's surrounded by uh normie society. While the mortality rate seems low, we have to consider that not everyone stays in the city itself -- legacies aren't as at-risk for monster attacks, and so many of them probably have lives outside of NR and just send their kids to camp for their service and visit. It also seems like a stable number of kids serve, given the bunks and cohorts? So it's definitely possible that some families, after a certain point down the legacy line maybe, just don't send their kids? Or, alternatively, there are less OUTSIDE demigods / legacies that arrive than there are predictable legacies? Hm.

I guess my stance here (and it's been a while since I've read the books, so correct me if I'm blatantly wrong) is that the gods specifically DON'T help Camp Jupiter / New Rome out very much at all. It's almost a point of pride? Romans serve the gods, but they can handle themselves, thank you! New Rome is a project -- a community -- on a scale entirely unlike Camp Half-Blood, AND one ostensibly founded and maintained by PEOPLE, not the gods. It can't be handwaved as some strawberry farm summer camp, and Riordan didn't know how to handle that, nor was it particularly relevant to the books at any point. :/

To throw in one of my personal big thoughts here, I do think the Triumvirate have sooo much of a hand in all this. Maybe that's just one of my hc's to cope with the massive plot holes, but lmao. They HAVE the money, the connections, etc. Especially if they're Octavian's "family" that kept getting referenced as the most powerful, rich, and influential in NR? They're paying for the place. Through shell corporations and various legacy families, sure, but still.

I guess to wrap this up, as it is after 1AM for me and this is a lot (oof), I think Riordan did intend NR / CJ to be much more off the grid and self-contained. And that's really an unrealistic product of him styling it (in his mind) after CHB. CHB doesn't have to worry about birth certificates and voter registration and driver's licenses. CHB doesn't have to worry about sanitation or food or education. CHB doesn't have what I'd call a "population." CHB is a liminal, transitory space in the palm of the gods' hands. New Rome cannot be that, IS not that.

[vandergeld]

                  hey  everyone welcome BACK to my blog  ,  hi  , how  are  ya ?   i’m   RUZZY   (  or  ru  ,  rudy  idk  if thats too  much  lmAO  )  &  i  have  not  been  apart  of  a  group  in  84  years ............  that  graphic  is  so  extra  but  i  was  bored  &  first  impressions  are  everything  ,  ANYWHO  this  is  my  mans WARNER  played  by  my  mans  GRAYSON DOLAN  ,  who  lacks  f’n  resources  so  i  gotta  work  some  magic  w/  all  these  gifs  on  tumblr  lmao  so  any  gif  icons  are  noT  mine  for  the  most  part  they’ll  be  taken  from  gifs  alr  created  (  s/o  2  the  fly  hunnies  that  made  ‘em  )  anyway  ya’ll  don’t  really  care  abt  me  lmao  soooooo here’s warner ! PLS  feel  free  to  hmu ANYTIME  for  the  plots  &  things  of  that  nature  u  could  lit  never  bother  me  idc ,  my  discord  is  𝐫𝐮𝐳𝐳𝐲𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐳𝐢#1643 if  u  everrr need  to  get  ahold  of  me  when  im  not  on  tumblr  !

         𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐍, cismale, he/his. → look out, there’s 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐃. you know, the 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘  year old 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 of 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐀 𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐃𝐀 𝐌𝐔. you know, i overheard someone say that they were 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄, 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 , 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆  and 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐃. but that’s just rumours. fresh new pairs of air jordan 1's, the roar of a crowd in a stadium, and lost weekends come to mind when i think of them. what about you? [ ruzzy, he/him, 18, est ]

TW : CANCER MENTION  ,  SMOKING  MENTION  .

//   »    GENERAL      :

FULL NAME   :   warner     evangelino   alexander       vandergeld       (   inspired by the antagonists of white chicks lmaooo   )     .

HOMETOWN  : new  york  city  ,  new york  .

NICKNAMES   :   dumbass   .

AGE   :   twenty  .

BIRTHDAY   :   october twenty-first   .

ZODIAC   :   libra   .

GENDER   :   male   .

PRONOUNS   :   he      &      him   .

NATIONALITY   :   american   .

ETHNICITY   :   german  ,   italian  ,  irish   .

LABEL(S)   :   the   golden boy   ,   the   lothario   ,   the   jock   .

TROPE(S)  :  chick magnet  ,  hormone-addled teenager  ,  unwitting pawn  , upper class twit  ,

OCCUPATION   :  college student  &  collegiate football player  & full time frat bro  .

FRAT : beta lambada mu  .

MAJOR   :   environmental science  .

POS  : charming  ,  charismatic  ,  brave  ,  athetic ,  dedicated  ,   eco-friendly  ,  high-moral compass  ,  book smart  ,  kind  ,  energetic  ,  optimistic  , loyal (  most of the time  ) ,  respectful  ,   well-rounded  ,  level-headed  , ambitious  ,  debonair  ,  life of the paty  .

NEG   :  compulsive  ,  easily-influenced  ,  dimwitted  , hypersexualized  ,  problematic  ,  addictive  , rebellious  ,  bemused  ,  defensive  ,  clingy  ,  hopeless-romatic  ,  overly-competitive  ,  envious .

INSP  : nate archibald  (  gossip girl  )  

//   »    PAST      :

          warner   was  born  &  raised  in  the  city  that  never sleeps  and    is  the  product  of  evangeline   moretti-vandergeld  , an   intelligent   american-italian  socialite  turned   environmental   politician  ,   and  captain  william   vandergeld  ,  a  former   navy   captain  ,   and  now   a   shareholder   in   some   boring   fortune   500   company   that   allowed   his   wife   and   son   to   live   an   affluent  ,   and   privileged   life  . his   mother  however  ,   was   the   real deal  ,   often   using   their   sum   of   wealth   to   donate   to   multiple   charities  ,  organizations  , etc, she was  dedicated  to  keeping  new  york  city  (  and  all  who  lived there  )  clean  and  safe   , and  she instilled  those  same  values  onto  her  son.

          some people are born lucky  ,  and others  ,  lucky  to  be  born  .   warner  was  the  first  option  .  his childhood  was  nothing  short  of  happiness  ,  and  happiest  days  were  with  his  mother  ,  for  as  long  as he  could  remember  ,  any happy  moment  in  his childhood  was  faded  right  into  her.

          things  took  a  drastic  change  his freshman  year  of  (  private  obvy lmao  )  high-school   .   warner’s  mother  was  diagnosed  with  breast  cancer  ,  and  little  to  his  knowledge  ,  it wasn’t  looking  pretty  from  the  start  .  she was  frequently  in  and  out  of the hospital  for  a  few  months  at  a  time  and  it  was  not  looking  good  on  any  fronts  .  one  day  when  she  went  to  the  hospital  it seemed  like  she  never  left  ,  maybe  she  didn’t  ,  those  days  were  a blur  for  warner  to  be  honest  .  watching  his  mother  lose  life  , every  single  day  was  not  a task  he  was  up  for  .

          by  then  it  was  just  warner  and  his  father  ,  they  were  all  they  had  in  the big  city  . (  when  he  wasn’t  always  away  on business  )  warner  grew  up  in   that  big  luxy  town  house  all  by  himself  ,  with  the  company  of  loyal  maids  ,  chefs  ,   and  nannies  of course  .  but  in  high  school  , the  more  he  really submerged  himself  into  it  ,  it  was  a  crazy  world  &  he  loved  it  .  whilst  getting  demands  from  his  father  in  tokyo  to  attend  those  boring  sailing  classes  ,  warner  instead  headed  out  to  their  beach  house  in  the  hamptons  for  an  early  20  rager  .

       warner  undoubtedly knew  the  power  he  possessed  ,   big  man  on  campus  type  &  it felt  good  , until  about towards  the  end  of his  junior  year  he  was  honestly  all   partied   out  ,  but  of  course reputation  is   everything  ,  in  order  to  keep  up  thats  when  he  picked  up  the   real  ugly  habits  ,  that  were  of  course  fun  .  smoking  numerous  amounts  of  marijuana  ,  various  girls  in  -  and  -  out  every other  day  was  a  feeling  like  no  other  ,   he  knew  it  was  wrong  ,  he  knew  his  mom  would  be  ashamed  ,  him  doing  all these  things  and  not carrying  on  her  legacy  in  some  way .  but  he  couldn’t  help  himself  in a  all  honesty   ,   and   no  doubt  some  of  that  transitioned  over  in  college .

//   »    AES   :

          lost weekends partying  ,  chicken  wings  &  french  fries  ,  air  jordan  1′s  ,  gucci  guilty  cologne  ,  friday  night  lights  ,  clouds  of  smoke  &  red  eyes  ,  diamond  encrusted  jewelry  glistening  under  bright  lights  in  a  dark  room  ,  nike  sweatsuits  ,  game  winning  moves  ,  new  york  city  at  night  ,  hamptons  in  the  summer  ,  spring  break  in  miami  ,  impulsive decisions  .

//   »    TL;DR   :

(  and  some  stuff  i  probably  missed  oops  )  warner  is  a  conflicted  mama’s   boy  who  knows  half  the  shit  he does  is  wrong  but  can’t  stop  .  after  his  mothers passing  he had  an absent father  who seemed  to  always  be  away  on  business  ,  only  in  town  for  a  month  or  two  ,  missing  his sons’ multiple  feats   to  keep  himself  distracted  from  the  fact  that  his  wife  was  no  longer  with  them. created  immense daddy  issues  for  warner  ,  especially  since  he  was  a  standout  football  star  &  2x   stage  champ in  high  school  ,  and is  currently  playing  collegiality  for  the  irish ,  with  dreams  of  making  it  in  the  nfl  cause  screw  his  dad  he  don’t  wanna  go   2  the  navy   ,   or  work  for  dat  company # not  gonna  happen .  warner  took  great  advantage  of  wealth  &  his  fathers  absence  ,  but  he’s  lowkey  partied  out  in  college  ,  or  so  he likes  to  say  but  he fakes  it ‘till  he  makes  it bc  he  doesn’t  his  brothers  to think  he’s  lame . HE’S  LIVING  FOR  EVERYBODY  BUT  HIM  BASICALLY .

//   »    HEADCANONS    :

warner  is  on  a  football  scholarship  majoring  in  environmental  science  bc  although  he  most  likely  won’t  do  shit  w/  da  degree its  for  mommy  .

he can EASILY  be  manipulated  or  taken  advantage  of  ,  he’s  book  smart  but lowkey  dumber  than  a  fucking  box  of  rocks 

immastonerbyyoungthug.mp3  .  occasionally ,  but  ,  more  so  than  that  ?  he  always  manages  to  flush  out  his  system  in  time  if  needed  be  ,  but  he  loves  2  roll  up  #  stress relief 

a  BEAST  on  that  field  (  student  athlete  meme  here  )

has  all  the  canon  gray  tattoos  bc  fuck  what  dad  thinks  .  he  wears  a solid  16 inch gold  chain  ,  and  another  of  the same  length with  his  moms’  name  on  it  , never  fucking  takes  it  off  ,  showers  with  it  cause  he  can  .

ok  ........  he  rich  ,  but  like  not  i  can  do  whatever  i  want  rich  ???  he  may  not  ever  have  to  work  a  day  in  his   life  ,  but  he  don’t  got  the pull  u  think  he  does  w/  his  dumb  ass  u  probably  couldn’t  even  tell  he’s  got  money  with  his  minimalist  fashion  sense  .

he  has  a  higher  moral  compass  than  most  of  his  frat  bros  ,  but  the  stupid  shit  he does  ,  u most  likely  won’t  even  be  able  to tell  ,  he’s  definitely  a  serial  romeo  and  a  heartbreaker  ,  one  compliment  ?  he’s  ready  to  drop  his  pants  &  fall  in  love  w/   u  .

HE DUMB  ,  but  like  he  can  talk  his  way  into  &  out  of  anything  ,  most  of  the  time  ,  batting  those  big  brown  eyes  &  a  million  dollar  smile  has  saved  his  ass  on  multiple  occasions  .

//   »    WANTED CONNECTIONS   :

EX-GIRLFRIEND :  i’m  thinking  his  first  &  only  “  serious  “  relationship  while  in  college  .  were  going  pretty  steady  until  he  cheated  on  her  (  hmm wc  on  who  he  cheated  on  her w/ ??  ) ,  she  never  found  out  but  that  guilt  ate warner TF UP  so  he  cut  things  off  with  her  via  text  message  and blocked  her  number  ,  ignores  her  any  chance  he  gets  ‘till  this  day  ,  cause  he  doesn’t  have  any  balls  and  cannot  face  his  fears  .

FRAT BROS  : lowkey  what  i’m  MOST  excited  for  asdfgh  like  whoever  is  in  beta  lambada mu  hit  me  the  fuck UP so  we  can  discuss  dynamics  ,  roomates  ,  allat  .

FOOTBALL TEAM  : same  for  above  ,  he’s  lowkey  cocky  &  got  sly  comments  when  he’s  on  the  field  ,  he constantly  humbles  himself  but  can’t  helps  it  ,  he is  hot  shit  and  he  knows  it  , how does  his  team  feel  ab  that  ??  w/  his  defensive  ass  !

GOOD-LUCK CHARM  :  prolly  a  girl  (  bonus  points  if  a  cheerleader  ???  im  not  picky  tho  i promise  if  ur  muse  don’t  shake  poms  idc  )  it  happened  out  the  blue  ,  they  screamed  his  name  while  the  team  was  walking  out  for  a  game  ,  and  she  called  that  he’d  get  3  td’s  and  thats  exactly  what  he  did  now  they  joke  ab  it  and  shit  (  maybe  a  goodluck  kiss b4  games  bc  its  warner lolol  ) idk  i  came  up  wit  it  on the  spot but  i love  it.

//   »    MISC   :

i’m a dumbass  &  this  got  way  longer  than  i  expected  but  if  u  made  it   all  the  way  thru  ily . 

[darkartsandcrafts]

The Best Of

The Goldfinch AO3 tags

Deepest apologies to the authors.  Probably of interest only to @wellntruly and maybe @antiquesfreaks

this is so niche, if a single person reads it i will be happy, it is completely self indulgent, Imaginary Rain , [theodore decker voice] i'm a homosexual having a panic attack,  also xandra is there I guess, ITS ABOUT THE YEARNING, theo has a crisis because thats his Brand, theo's a whole mess, boris is a slightly different mess,  theo is a little bitch, sad times with boris &theo what else is new, apocalypse in a very american sense, they live in Costco, they r just liddol creatures, i am a SLUT for water, this is basically just a love letter to the desert and the sky, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise, Not really a fic as much as it is an experiment

Romantic Face Punching, i mean.... that's literally a tag so i'll use it, It's bittersweet my dudes, boris waxes poetic about his bird, russian vampire that glows, it was way too easy for me to project onto Boris, theo said 'nothing rly happened in antwerp', i said 'you are an unreliable narrator and a Fool please step aside', Theo Decker should be considered his own warning, Theo Decker's Toxic Masculinity, rip to donna tartt but I'm different so they're lesbians now, there will be smut but it will be artsy, and theos parents but who can be asked to put them, Hurt No Comfort 

Well maybe a little bit of comfort, The briefest and barest mention of Boris's fuck-me pumps, some real basic bitch fic but I had to get it out of my system, I promise this isn’t as depressing as it sounds, the sharp ache of memory, the thrill and terror of getting what you want, 

Excessive Drinking 

Heavy Drinking 

Drinking to Cope

 Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Magical Realism, take shot every time theo says fuck and/or is gay and bitchy, its a TURNBULL AND ASSER SUIT, Gratuitous Fleetwood Mac Referencing, slight drowning mention, underage lots of things because its them,  google translate Russian, Underage Drinking but like this is the Goldfinch we’re talking about, theo has been to therapy and knows one (1) distress tolerance technique, Theo's too neurotic to top but can unrepress just enough to bottom,  i like to believe donna tartt would condone this if she believed in love, They really put that scene in the movie huh, TOO MANY REFERENCES AND I AM NOT EVEN SORRY FOR THEM 

donna tartt i just want to talk  

and he cries his eyes out and they listen to the magnetic fields, nostalgia for two days ago, they listen to music and flop around, they're a little drunk but when aren't they,  Boris POV bc theo pov is difficult and also depressing, theo isn't as canonically repressed here oops,  theo did write boris a letter he just never included it bc it's gay, i hope they know i would die for them, @ donna tartt u too bitch i love u, Heavy pining you guys, i went hard with the hand holding in this, They've kind of gotten their lives together!, Boris still works in art crime though,  they're drunk

but what else is new, idk if this is good or if im just on my third drink, is it homo to want to kiss your best bro? maybe so,  no homo your way out of this decker, boris is basically a pillow princess but who’s surprised, smoking in bed is an activity for french movies and repressed gays, we don’t admit to feelings we emotionally repress like men, obviously boris is into some kinky shit, boris is dead sorry

very sad actually,  the world needed some boris' pov so i did my job, i'm not projecting onto theo he's just me, i'm not even projecting onto theo anymore he's literally me, i managed to write some sort of happy ending,  it was way to easy to write from theo's pov and i'm worried, interpret the end how you want i guess, it was so easy to project onto theo it's kinda concerning,  They weirdly don't do drugs in here, the usual shit that happens in goldfinch, the boys go rollerskating, Like Really Fucking Sad,  flangst city bois, theo is a clingy drunk, if only he were like this when he’s sober,  Theo committed suicide, I mean Theo really did it, Boris didn't stop him, Theo may not like this, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction,  Theo is a pretentious dick, Mental Institutions,  one instance of projectile vomiting,  Questionable Marriage

[hazzabeeforlou]

11 questions

Yes I did this a bit ago but @helloamhere (thank you, ily, have fun bussing around Europe, did that once, had to follow apple maps to know where to get off ‘cause I speak ZERO German...) tagged me and I’m an anxious mess waiting for medical news today so WHY NOT! 

Rules: answer 11 questions then pose 11 of your own. 

1. What do you think fanfic does better than published fiction (if anything?) 

Okay obvious answer and not very high brow, but SMUT. You will not see me perusing the gay aisles of Barnes and Noble romance novels :) For various reasons :) 

2. What do you think it does worse

I think (maybe it’s just this fandom) overall it’s quite a bit more sanitary than novels, both in morality and subject matter. I hate to think what the purity police would say about some of the books I’ve read... especially the old ones? But then I usually come here looking for fluff and happiness too so perhaps that’s just the major draw of fanfic, idk. 

3. What’s something another fandom has or does that you wish your fandom had or did?

To be honest I’m not well versed in other fandoms, but I’m going to go with I wish this fandom didn’t have constant infighting. Seriously in all my born days I have never seen a group of people claim such a similar goal and yet devour each other so viciously. Hence I usually avoid anything incredibly explosive or triggering here; I deal with and confront radical people (religious extremists, right wing extremists) in my everyday life and I cannot bring myself to turn my escapism into that same vortex of endless arguing, though I appreciate and support those who fight the fight. I often have very sharp opinions and fall to one side or the other of the fault line, but I draw a personal boundary at a point. 

4. Do you consider yourself a “fandom” type of person in general, or committed to only one, and if so, tell me more about what this means to you.

I have been a HUGE fandom person my entire life, though this is the first time I’ve ever been in a community for it. Star Wars and Narnia consumed most of my adolescence, along with Lord of the Rings. I briefly dabbled in Dr. Who and Merlin (as one does) but because I didn't read HP until nearly the end of college, I kindof missed out on that one. Basically anything geeky or fantasy driven I have always loved, and I can’t really explain how I ended up here? But this is the only fandom I’m active in socially. The power of HL I guess... 

5. I’m trying to get through writing a first draft right now and it’s a slog. How do you stay motivated for long projects, writing or otherwise? 

Ah. A call out question! Like any good Aries, I love starting new things! And then letting them to languish unfinished. I have, however, trained in classical music, and thus I’ve programmed myself to just keep doing the thing because pieces take months and months and months to perfect and if you can’t stick with a project, you go nowhere. I also operate on a reward system, as in writing is the reward for practicing, then when I’m sick of words I go back to music, and so the turn tables. I have learned to ignore (I’m great at ostrich-ing) the crushing self doubt of creativity and just bulldoze ahead and do the thing, which results in very messy first drafts and often bad habits in my musical technique and a tendency to overplay, which wastes energy, but rehearsals wait for no one. I also thrive on last minute deadlines! 

6. Tell me about what you read as a kid. Favorite book? Or if you weren’t into reading then, favorite TV show, etc? 

I HAVE SO MANY. Narnia was my first love. I also adored George MacDonald (At The Back of the North Wind is a fucking masterpiece). My mom hardly let me read Redwall (see: hints of magic) but when she caved I devoured all of those. Anne of Green Gables. American Girl stuff (lots of it, yes Josefina and Kaya were my faves). I read far too many Star Wars expanded universe novels (New Jedi Order  shaped me as a person, esp Traitor). I remember reading all the Eragon series, though these were dubiously approved... and I read various classics, as one is supposed to. In high school I printed out the entire Beowulf in Old English, got a CD of a dude reading it, and proceeded to memorize the first several lines. I can still recite Anglo Saxon but I have no clue what it means (see: I’m a good mimic). Everything non-Christian-magic-related I read during or after college, sigh. 

7. Have your tastes changed?

This sounds bad but not really. I rarely read non fiction, oops. Biographies are a slog for me. I dislike historical fiction and I don’t have a good reason for that. I do love a good mystery, but usually not in book form (audio or visual Agatha Christie is my mana). I do adore socio-policial books, though (The Better Angels of our Nature a good example) or books doing a deep dive into a historical topic. These days I enjoy a good satire more than much else, and since I started on Terry Pratchett in 2016 I haven’t looked back. 

8. I’ll steal your question above--tell me about a fic that changed you, or became a “touchstone” fic that you go back to!!

I didn’t read fics period when I entered the fandom, and stubbornly maintained that for a while, but the fic that changed my mind was (Take Me Home) Country Roads by @a-writerwrites (Awriterwrites). I read it during a drive through the very parts of the USA it’s set in, and I couldn’t put it down, spotty internet be damned. From there @horsegirlharry birthed me into the gay 1D world, though I can’t for the life of me remember which of hers I first read! (Does it matter? They’re all so beautiful...) 

9. Tell me about a WIP, if applicable. How’s it going?? It sounds great. 

I’m plodding along on The Garden, it’s going well, but urgency isn’t a priority. It’s going to be one of those things that I finish and then go in and make matter because right now my ideas are half formed and I know I’ll eventually know where I’m going but it’s a case of blind trust in instinct at this point! 

10. What’s your favorite place to read and sitting position?

Like a true gay I cannot sit normally in a chair, coupled with my pain issues means I’m usually draped over the back of something with a cushy lumbar support, massive pillow, or propped sideways lying down. I love reading outside, but have a tendency to attract bugs, also I’m very light sensitive so my eyes hate the sun, especially if I’m reading from a screen. 

11. Do you feel like fic reading and writing is social for you? E.g. do you share with friends (in or outside of fandom), or are you a lone wolf seeking out your fics in the dead of night??

I LOVE the social aspect of fic reading and writing within fandom! I have shared PITS with only two real life friends though; I am very tight lipped about the fact that I write fic. People are cruel and musicians are judgmental arseholes and if I prefer to spend my days dreaming up love stories for my OTP instead of pouring over scores, that’s my fucking business. 

Alright, 11 from me (I wanted to include artists too so!!): 

1. Are you a start small-work larger type creator, or map everything out then attend to detail?

2. What style of art/writing has most influenced your creative choices? (Genre, time period, muse)

3. How long have you been writing/arting? Is this something you knew you’d do your whole life?

4. What is your favorite thing about creating for your fandom? (reception, excitement, newness, etc.) 

5. Have you met any recent creative goals that you’re really proud of? 

6. What is your creative baby; what work do you want stamped on your proverbial gravestone as I MADE THIS (or have you made it yet?)

7. Do outside forces (politics, culture, hegemonies) play into your creations? Do you intentionally or subconsciously subvert norms or explore ideas?

8. Your creative mind is a garden. Describe what kind it would be and what it would contain (i.e. rock garden, palace garden, wildflowers, rose... etc.) 

9. Do you believe that creative art has power and if so, how do you hope yours impacts others? 

10. I’m double stealing this question: what’s a fic or fan art that changed your life or was a touchstone for you?

11. If you could pick any hero of yours to read/look at your creations, who would it be and why?

TOTALLY only if you want to, but @13ways-of-looking @twopoppies @alienfuckeronmain @prettytruthsandlies @pattern-pals @newleafover @disgruntledkittenface @lesbianiconharrystyles @lululawrence

[lafortis]

oops *social programs. like increasing class sizes, cutting bursaries, cutting library funding, cutting OHIP drug coverage. that kind of thing

so like

idk this is a topic i feel like i should say more about but i’m tired rn so this is what u get

increasing class sizes, presuming you could link that directly to a decrease in quality of outcomes in education, is dumb and short-sighted. education, especially in k-12, is one of the safest and best long term investments and state actor can make, no questions asked. in cutting it, presuming class sizes actually do actually cause disengagement or worse outcomes (not a huge leap), you run the risk of increasing crime rates (delinquent youth - in-class engagement, extra-curriculars, and economic opportunity brought about by success in education all have been show to decrease crime rates [iirc, citing things when ur hunched on a roadcase is a little beyond me rn but if u want citations i can provide]) and decreasing flow of graduates to jobs that require ppl with higher education, either stymieing broader economic growth or forcing them to look elsewhere and bring ppl in either interprovicnially or internationally, which i get the impression isn’t the outcome foug dord seeks, were he asked. 

cutting bursaries falls under the same category in my opinion; it is, broadly speaking, a good use of gov’t money to offer money for higher education. the increased income tax revenue over the person’s lifetime would likely more than pay for it, even in a zero sum game where the gov’t doesn’t also benefit from a more educated overall populace/workforce (which they fucking do). again, long term substantial benefit being sacrificed for short term gain in the name of deficit reduction (which i’ll... get to)

library funding is just a kick in the fucking teeth tbh, but if i have to address it seriously, libraries’ benefits are similar to that of higher school engagement; lowering crime rates as otherwise delinquent youths, poor families etc have a place for their children to spend time safely and productively. besides their use as a repository for local history (which i’m sure ford’s rural base would approve of if they realized it was there, but he’s from etobicoke and therefore doesn’t give a shit), they host events, help educated local children, represent the most freely available source of learning to low-income individuals, and offer a safe space to the public during business hours. for how much money they consume, cutting them is almost always a bad idea, regardless of province or country.

cutting OHIP coverage is dumb. single payer pharmacare is good. for reasons why see the folllowing:

suck my dick

for real tho i know my man wants to privatize health care in this province i done seen it in his eyes IRL. 

and as a serious answer: those whose drugs you know longer pay for will likely burden the system in another way later down the line, and that’s usually much more expensive. unless he plans to defund ERs as well (which doesn’t exist anywhere, even private systems, which is why private systems are dumb; you turn people away until they’re literally dying, do an extremely expensive procedure to save them because you’re practically ethically obligated to, and then hit them with the bill, which they can’t pay any of, or they would’ve fixed it earlier. they go bankrupt, but you can’t squeeze blood from a stone either. everyone loses) preventative care, even ancillary care like non-essential pharma, is cheaper long-term than waiting for someone to be more expensive and more necessary to fix. you could split hairs about which are necessary and which aren’t or what have you, but quite frankly those administrative costs plus the quality of life downgrade ppl get from an obtuse pharmacare system means that it’s probably easier to just pay for it all. and THEN GUESS WHAT

you’re fucking single payer now. congratulations. want access to a market of 14 million? gotta negotiate with OHIP on drug prices now. fuck you. 

it’s literally more economically efficient for everyone except drug manufacturers, whose profit margins are so economically aberrant that they can kinda go fuck themselves. like it’s the exact kind of thing taxes exist for: something that can be accomplished better, cheaper and more consistently under a single entity than individually. federal liberals are threatening to move this way and if they get re-elected i’ll personally suck trudeau’s dick to make it happen. it’s just fucking common sense.

 so that just leaves us with uhhh,,,, one thing left, which is the provincial gov’t’s assertion that ontario’s debt is out of control, way too high, etc. as the reasoning behind austerity measures like these. which is like, it sounds good on paper? to the layman, sure, it holds up. their $343bn number is intimidating, there’s the “highest sub-sovereign debt” factoid floating around always, wynne was unpopular, liberals spend too much, so therefore spending was too high in the eyes of the ppl. whatever. economy doesn’t exist solely in political ads and the heads of those they’re targeted towards. 

governments are made to hold debt. more than an individual, or a company, or a mega-corporation or conglomerate, governments are debt-holding entities. the actual amount is rarely important, as long as it’s payment has been earmarked over the time agreed upon. the interest over time is weighed against the economic growth that that spending is projected to create. actual cost of the debt is minimal. ontario’s interest payments appear to amount to about $4bn LESS than quebec’s, despite quebec having about 2/3rds of our debt. their debt to gdp ratio is 52% to our 39%. 

the reason our debt is so much higher than other comparable sub-sovereign entities (i.e. american states) is because our provinces bear MUCH more spending burden than their peers. if you average out provincial and federal debt to get a more even representation of debt per capita, ontario is SAFELY in the black compared to other similar economies (which, to be fair, is partially because america’s federal debt is so high, but state debt’s and spending are so low that it’s not even a comparison otherwise). the only concerning stat in our entire economic portfolio is that economic growth

further research on their direction on the topic actually leave me less angry than before in a broad sense; their fiscal policymakers seem to generally agree that the best way to reduce debt is to spend at current levels rather than increase. it’s mostly i suppose the specifics you brought up as well as their rhetoric and political ads that i vehemently disagree with as short-sighted. 

as usual canadian politics is a watered down version of american, so even their post-trump candidate actually still staffs genuine fiscal conservatives who don’t make obvious and easy to avoid mistakes.

vic fidelli can still suck my dick tho. this statement is dumb and obviously not true. “hey economic winds are blowing well so our long term strategy is obviously ALREADY WORKING”. fuck you. fuck off. stupid bitch.

so yeah

tat’s me onion

[phantomrose96]

Chrissy this is a bit of a weird question but I’m going off to uni next term and I’m studying maths, I know you did engineering, so I’m assuming you had to take some ?modules? (Idk how the American system works) but my question is what was the gender divide of ur class like? I guess I’m asking cause I’m a little nervous, my last year of school it was pretty much 4 girls: 20+ guys, speaking as someone who pretty much has only female friends I’m kinda worried if I shall be able to make friends oop

For starters, same hat. I’ve got a much easier time making friends with girls than with guys, but also what’s nice about Uni is that its easy to make friends with people outside of your classes. (Assuming you’ll be living in a dorm on campus?) A lot of my friends are from other majors, and theyre people ive met from dorm life or other campus activities. Of course though, it’s always nice to have friends in your classes.

As for the gender divide (this is mainly about my comp sci classes) the intro-level courses have a more even divide, but the higher level courses tend to skew more and more toward guys. My theory of computation class has 16 people, 13 guys and 3 girls. My computer networks class is probably about a 75%-25% divide.

All in all though, I haven’t found it too bad. Even if most of your classes are that 75%-25% divide, most freshmen-level intro classes tend to be very large and filled with people who are new and trying to make friends. And if you make friends in the same major, you can pretty much plan your courses together too. 

[kinktae]

jesus christ I'm so sorry to hear you're in a similar, if not worse situation than I am. school is just so stressful and anxiety inducing and people here are assholes. like as bad as paris level asshole which says a lot believe me. I wish I could give you advice but I've never been through college and honestly I have no clue what it's like here or in france. honestly you should clear up your schedule a bit too for next semester/trimester - french anon

I am taking four classes next semester!!! So yes definitely!

Anonymous said: but if I can be honest my schedule for second year (dunno what it’s called sorry) is worse. once again I have no prep - AP US history (I know nothing about this), AP Chemistry, also know little about chemistry and lack the english vocabulary, another honors english class, combining two honors french classes which shouldn’t be a problem but I’m from the country and it’s like satori in korean it’s completely different from standard french for me. like hillbilly french ig- french anon

HILLBILLY FRENCH HAHAHAH. Also, second year is called sophomore year! AP US History, damn girl that is a tough, even for an American. I would see if you can drop out of that class and switch it to something easier like AP Environmental Science (if that’s an option.) But I’m sure if you dedicate yourself you should be able to get through it

Anonymous said: after that we have honors algebra second year, I barely know anything about geometry and trigonometry. I don’t even know how to say trigonometry in french like what? I have another high level music class and then another year of a third language in honors. I don’t even have a study class (hall?) next year and I am in three sports so I practice more than a full time job works, and then I go to school. I think I really messed up here - french anon

Thats so weird bc my french teacher taught us that trigonometry was just le trigonométrie. Anyway, you don’t need to know geometry/trig to understand algebra. They say if you hate geometry then you will love algebra. Algebra is like chemistry but chem has science mixed in. (Also remember that colleges only require that you take two years of the same language in high school, which means you don’t have to take it your third year.)

Anonymous said: I just want to be on the right medication for my mental disorders so that maybe I don’t live off of two pieces of bread everyday for two weeks only to have it happen again. it’s frustrating! I want this to be over! and no offense america but literally why trump he makes everything worse and your politics system makes no sense. like at least in france I don’t have to be aware of it but here it’s literally everywhere you go. - french anon

Ah I hope they can find the right medication for you! As Trump, hahhhhh I have many thoughts on that man as a child of two immigrants. I don’t want to get too into it but just know that the majority of Americans DID NOT vote for him, I think only 47% of Americans actually voted for him lol idk i don’t understand the government

Anonymous said: your language is really weird by the way. I know I’m french and can’t say that technically bc french is just as bad but literally @ english why. grammar sucks. sentence structure sucks. PRONUNCIATION AND SYLLABLE STRESS SUCKS. contractions are weird. there’s literally almost no point to them in english? and overall the people here suck w welcoming foreigners like I cannot tell you how many times someone impersonated my accent to make fun of me. - french anon

LMAO I FEEEEEL. Also I’m sorry people are being shitty ugh. Americans are sometimes too blunt and speak without thinking, we don’t even realize sometimes when we are being rude.

Anonymous said: I said it before too, and I will most definitely say it a bunch more. your. school. system. sucks. ass. it can suck my ass, slap my thigh and call me george for all I care and I would still not think it’s funny despite being an awful joke. I hope your life improves though bc you just don’t deserve this the only human I can think of in america that deserves the shit of their own system is moldy tangerine himself. rip american students. - french anon

MOLDY TANGERINE SDKFJSKJF I personally see him more as a stale cheeto.

Anonymous said: but honestly from what I can tell college sucks. fake news. exams are stressful as heck and if you do good no one but your anxiety rewards you bc I’m the same way, I live off of my grades and atm I have a D+ in English and a C in AP World History. I’m far behind and the final is this week oops. but honestly like,,, why. just why. you only get degraded if you fail and nothing good happens if you pass like what is the point. - french anon

College is actually really really great when you don’t overload yourself with work. There is so much freedom and you can take literally ANY class you can think of. I could take a class all about rock n roll music if I wanted to at my university. Also, I guess if you pass a class, then you get to go to more school. Yay(?)

Anonymous said: I’m going to keep you in my thoughts amour, because I really hope things get better and you get the courage to attend your classes. sorry for going off again in your inbox it’s probably annoying to have some stupid freshman ranting about the school system when your situation seems to be way worse than mine. I hope everything goes well, don’t worry about writing for your followers bc we’d rather you do it for fun than force it. - french anon

Anonymous said: it’s a lot easier to read when it flows naturally from your thoughts (and as someone who stRuggles w reading on occasion I know and I can tell bby). please take your time and prioritize you. please. I’m begging. I can’t imagine what your situation is like but it does not seem fun. so don’t feel any pressure from here and focus on what’s a lot more important. I believe in you, I believe you can pass english. I know you can. okay I’m done, sorry again. je t'aime, mon amour, salut

Ahh you are too sweet. I will prioritize my time. Also psshhh you don’t bother me at all. I mean, we are technically both “stupid freshman.” You’re a freshman in high school and I am a freshman in college ;) Thank you for your kind words, te amo, je t’aime and I love you

[wickymicky]

i got tagged by @chuukitten like a month ago lmao oops

rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people (im too lazy lol im sorry i just like to talk about myself so thats what im gonna do HAHA)

im gonna put this under a read more cause it got long

1. nickname: my bf calls me cube

2. zodiac: i dont do zodiac shit lol sorry

3. height: i dont actually know, im bad with remembering things like that

4. hogwarts house: the “fuck jk rowling” house (okay fine im hufflepuff)

5. last thing i googled: farmersonly… dont worry about it

6. favorite musicians: i mean yall know my kpop ones haha… loona, dreamcatcher, fromis 9, pentagon, exid, red velvet, twice, eyedi, weki meki, etc……. outside of kpop oh man where do i begin… its tough cause ive basically only listened to kpop in 2019 but okay so i’d say the band idles, death grips, grimes, streetlight manifesto, huh idk i have a lot that i like but i dont know who else i would consider my “favorites” at the moment

7. song stuck in my head: right now its pirate king by ateez

8. following: 1800 lol

9. followers: on this blog 264, but 724 on my main

10. do you get asks: occasionally

11. amount of sleep: i should sleep way, way more than i do

12. what are you wearing: pajamas

13. dream job: hmmm. i mean i dont dream of working, i dont have a dream “job”, but if the question is about my dream “thing i wanna do a lot of in my life” then i guess my answer is… idk… something where i can just engage in whatever is interesting to me at the moment. like in the vein of my tumblr blogs where i can just post and talk about stuff im interested in. idk if that means being a youtuber or journalist or just someone who does something else and engages in my interests as a hobby, but yeah. or something to do with linguistics of course. though like i dont wanna be a teacher and thats basically the only path lmao (that i would even consider, anyway)

14. dream trip: you know i dont actually have a lot of interest in travel. idk, it stresses me out. i cant think about going places without worrying about how i’ll get around, what i’ll be doing, what i’ll be able to eat since i have a lot of food anxieties… idk. if someone i love wanted to go on a trip with me i’d probably be down, but i dont really know on my own.

15. instruments: i wish i could do music lol

16. languages: are amazing and i love them. okay fine lol i only speak english, but i took german in middle and high school, i took latin in high school as well, then took latin and ancient greek in college, and then after college i did a lot of looking into hungarian, vietnamese, a little bit of indonesian, turkish, and polish, and then recently i’ve been pretty focused on korean for obvious reasons. i speak none of those languages tho, lol. if i heard someone speaking some of those i could get the gist of what types of things theyre talking about most likely, but honestly my whole thing with languages is that im more interested in learning about the intricacies of how languages work and especially how they change over time than i am in actually learning the language. i’d love if my dumb adhd brain allowed me to focus hard enough and really commit to becoming fluent in a second language because so far i’ve only steadily approached being barely conversational, i’ve never actually reached even that point yet lol. and being only fluent in english makes me feel like a stupid american lol. i pick up bits of language really easily, but the rigor of learning ALL the vocab and ALL the little details you need to become actually fluent is where i fall off. 

like whenever i go through an anime phase, i pick up lots and lots of japanese. like if they keep using a word i’ll see it in the subtitles and figure that it must mean that, and then i’ll pay attention to the endings they use and how they inflect it and i’ll make little inferences about what those signify, so then when i hear a word that i dont recognize but it has a grammatical ending that i know, i can infer the meaning of the word from context, and im going through this same learning process with korean now and it’s super super fun and i’m loving how much progress ive made (though i could have been making progress like three times as fast if i was actually taking a korean class)… but the actual work of learning common phrases, learning the sheer volume of vocab, all that stuff… yeah that’s where i fall off. so idk how fluent i’ll get in korean, but i’m down to find out, lol. maybe this is the one i’ll really try to focus on and achieve it with!

17. 10 favorite songs as of now: of all time????? um okay i cant possibly do that without spending a looong time thinking about it, so i’ll just do the first ten songs that come to my mind when i think of songs that i adore more than most others

keep the streets empty for me by fever ray

colossus by idles

watch it crash by streetlight manifesto

lucky girl by fazerdaze

realiti (demo) by grimes

egoist by loona (olivia hye)

picky picky by weki meki

mother by idles

peekaboo by red velvet

hi high by loona

18. if you were an animal: red panda maybe haha

19. favorite food: pizza cause im a garbage trash person

20. random fact: idk... if yall couldnt tell and didnt already know this, i’m a linguist haha. i went to school for linguistics, i majored in linguistics and classics (latin, ancient greek, etc) though honestly i was only into the languages, roman and greek history is cool and all but not really what i’m most into. majoring in classics was a mistake lol but oh well. i didnt end up graduating though because of unrelated reasons.... adhd, depression, just a general sense that the way the whole system works just wasnt made for me and it didnt click with me and ive never been good at forcing myself to be good at school... and like i was tired of hearing from professors that i have “a very organized mind when it comes to linguistics stuff” (something a greek professor said that meant a lot to me) or that i “understand how language works better than most other students my age” and that im a natural and that its impressive how nuanced my understanding of these concepts is.... while also failing or almost failing all of the classes whose professors said that about me. like basically all those statements were followed by a “, but” or a “, so if you just-”.... sigh. so i guess i’m not “actually” a linguist. whatever “actually” means there. 

so other random fact i guess, which is still related but anyway... i have a conlang! that’s a constructed language. ive been working on a language for like 6 or 7 years. its at a state right now where it’s not really something i can just like... speak? it was at one point, maybe. but basically what i like to do is try out various ideas i have about language and phonology and morphology, so my language is kind of like a sandbox lol. if youre a scientist you conduct experiments, if youre a linguist i think you should try making a conlang. its not a common hobby but its something i spend an unconscionable amount of time thinking about lol. like basically 24/7. i’m almost always thinking about my word for x thing im seeing or thinking about, or like some sound change i heard that some language had, and how that would sound if applied to the words in my language... 

like the reason my language isnt at a point right now where i can speak it is because getting into korean has made me think about massively reconfiguring how the grammar works. its always been kinda like latin and german, cause those are what i was taking when i started, and then it got kinda like ancient greek, so the grammar has/had a lot of complicated conjugations that are just honestly so superfluous... its such a mess lol... i have a much better understanding of how those systems come about in language now, so even if i remake my language to have verb conjugations like latin or greek, it’d be a much more coherent and natural system than the one thats existed in my language for years... but after learning about hungarian and korean in particular, i really wanna try making it a lot more logical like those languages are. but my big thing is phonology (speech sounds), so i just get hung up on sound changes and cool new consonants and vowels to add, so i keep putting off actually fixing my language lol. also ive become attached to my awful, amateurish words haha. im so bad at this... a real conlanger like tolkien or the dude who made the languages for game of thrones would look at mine and scoff haha. most of my words are just straight up stolen from words in latin, german, many others, but predominantly... english. i just mangle english words and call it my own lol, and ive been trying to replace those words with original ones that i made up arbitrarily... like my word for nose is just “nass” and my word for dog is “handir” which is just based on english “hound” and german “Hund” and stuff lol. i wanna change those

21. my aesthetic: if you actually read this long ass post, you know that my aesthetic is just “too much information” but not in a sexy way or even an interesting way