#idk how php is going to work bc i am a people pleaser but ed brain is also shamefully like 'if u do treatment wo getting tubed AGAIN you
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my team keeps asking what the status of my admission is and. I don't know. most if not all of my labs are back idk what my pcp is waiting for
#also i had a snack(!) of ice cream (!!!!!) w my mother and i want to die#i can still restrict while home just not as much as ed brain wants me to#which tbf ed brain demands a ridiculous and unsustainable amount of restricting#i feel so stupid and fake for being able to eat this much#like yeah im only doing it bc it is temporary and to keep my parents calm#and if it was that easy id do it all the time#and doing so makes me vvv anxious#and uncomfortable#idk how php is going to work bc i am a people pleaser but ed brain is also shamefully like 'if u do treatment wo getting tubed AGAIN you#are a piece of actual shit'#unstoppable force vs immovable object#cw// ed
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