#idk how I'm going to cope without my fave around but

[tabiyukki]

DRDT SPOILERS!!!

my stomach genuinely started to hurt me watching this episode guys what on earth am I going to do without my scrimblo

and when he gave up I actually started to tear up a bit, I'm going to love him forever he's so me and I'm so him

[fxirybun]

too damn true!!! i also feel like with ur last point that ppl dont seem to remember as easily compared to previous times? for instance whenever theres a "new" tiktok trend i look at it and realise its not actually "new" just something that the newer generations seem to think they created or made it new again.

its like kids or teens nowadays are so focused on their online life that they forget things have been done before in a less than new way so to see aesthetics that have been around long before thenselves come back as an aesthetic more than a lifestyle baffles me. particularly with y2k, not only do the 00s feel too long ago ngl we had so much good stuff but its like if you search it on youtube all ppl say is how trashy it was just because they didnt live in the era of it or they put an importance of aesthetics without realising they really wouldnt cope without the internet but its more so they prefer how something looks from that era, than anything else, i dont think anyones whos chronically online (myself included) would realistically want to have zero internet in current times it really gives fomo honestly its so bad.

if u arent doing what everyone else is doing its so bad making us feel further behind bc time aint slowing down for nobody. we 30 somethings had a lot too but i feel that gen z just dont realise the difference in society between then and now and it seems vastly different i cant explain it? thats why i feel like we were in some sort of time alteration device in or around 2019 cause nothings felt normal since then and even ppls behaviours and just the way they "think" has been altered so much and it always has to accomodate to whatever is going on both online and irl, the fact we have to try to mentally separate the online version from our physical selves is bonkers. thats whag i mean its totally different and idk if its a good kind of different or bad. im even seeing this crop up with new generation kpop groups and my faves ultimately they still are very much chronically online even if they are on a break. its actually hard to keep up with this stuff going on all the time hbu?

that reminded me of the whole baggy jeans & flared jeans trend and how my mom told me that these jeans used to put a chokehold on them back in the 90s lol. we be following the 3 Rs rules 😆 : reduce , reuse , recycle.

well.. if the shoes fit , fits them 🤷‍♀️ and the majority of teens are usually in their experimenting phase wherein they get to try new things that they're curious about. been there , done that ◔_◔ an example would be my little brother who's in his mid-teen years. he's experimenting with some clothes and would mix n match them cuz it's "trendy". i find his fashion questionable because of the layered tops and pants he's wearing 😭 like bro it's freakin hot outside and you're going to wear that ?? tho i'm not gonna stop him , letting him explore and find his niche (˘̩̩̩ε˘̩ƪ)

you know the whole "emo phase" back in the early 2000s and how people would throw shade on it ? well surprise surprise cuz tara yummy , johnnie guilbert , and jake webster are trending , and how their goth / emo fashion is making its way on trends.

gen z's are individuals who aren't afraid to express their opinions and are pretty much self-aware as to what's going on in this world. i find it admirable because their voices are being used to change the current societal expectations of what the govt or any politician had established.

i do feel that the whole pandemic was a major catalyst for all of us and how everything seems to be happening too fast. but i kid you not with this one cuz some of the millennials and gen x peeps i know irl has been noticing how we gen z's have no presence in mind and that we have short attention spans 😭

well , they're right with that one cuz i noticed it from my blockmates , the younger students , and my skibidi toilet siblings. and you shouldn't feel bad about not being able to catch up cuz i'm on the same page as you lmao ( T_T)＼(^-^ ) i had no idea what a "fanum tax" meant not until my little brother who's a gen alpha told me its meaning 💀 there's a new wave of slangs too and how i was left in confucius at first but i got a hold on it over time.

[jijimoons]

demon brothers caring for a sick!mc

i am unfortunately not well right now so this is a bit of a coping mechanism 😎

(i don't write for belphegor as i'm only on lesson 15 so i don't have much of an idea of his personality yet)

characters: lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub

format: headcanons

warnings: mentions of germs & illness, talk of food in beel's one

LUCIFER

we already know this man is far too busy

but does that mean he won't have time to take care of you?

oh hell no. he will MAKE time.

gonna be honest he's a bit emotionally stunted so i feel like he wouldn't be great at comforting you

but he will make you food and drinks, he will fetch you medication and painkillers

he's the one that emails the school to ask for your week off

he is the type of person to carry you out of bed and help you wash your hair & clean your teeth

forget his pledge of allegiance to diavolo, right now his human isn't well and they take priority

MAMMON

he will overreact like it's nobody's business

literally doesn't know a thing about human biology or illnesses and assumes the worst

"MY HUMAN IS DYING" "mammon sweetie it's just a cold" "I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU"

gets the finest human doctor in the devildom to have a look at you

idk if devildom healthcare is free but if not, he will not care how much grimm it costs

after the doctor has confirmed that you are fine he will act like a doting mother around you

he just wants you to be okay and feel comfortable :(

LEVIATHAN

he is a massive germophobe and you cannot change my mind

he is physically too scared to go into your room and feels so bad about it

hourly text updates asking if you need anything

he normally hates video calling but is happy to, just to see your face <3

if you ask him to get anything for you it arrives at your door in under 10 minutes (thank you akuzon prime delivery)

if you're a gamer then he will happily play your fave co-op games with you on voice if you feel up to it

he will not let you play for more than a couple hours at a time though!

"mc it's time to take a break" "but levi-" "no! go to bed"

SATAN

worrying mother pt.2 except he is a bit more chill about it

will research your symptoms for hours despite you telling him that you're fine

he is going to be around you at all times

whether he is in your room or you are in his, you are never getting rid of him

will 100% watch dramas with you to take your mind off it

if you feel particularly bad he will cuddle w you and read to you until you fall asleep satan marry me challenge

ASMODEUS

doesn't particularly like the idea of catching your disease , however has to be touching you at all times

seriously, it is not enough to stop him from clinging on to you 24/7-

he knows how icky you feel so you two have a lot of self care nights

facemasks, manicures, movies, the whole shebang

will encourage you to get a bit of fresh air now and then as it's not good for your mental health or your skinto stay cooped up in your room

(although he knows when not to push it, if you're sick you're sick)

BEELZEBUB

do i even need to say it?

the man is an avid believer that food cures everything

he'll look at special herbal dishes that help relieve symptoms and stuff, if your sinuses are blocked he will give you spices, that sorta thing

he enlists the help of luke and tells him to make your favourite sweet treats

(i'm sure that luke is more than happy to oblige)

when it comes down to it he is a very comforting presence, and just having him next to you is enough to make you feel a little better :')

he also gives great hugs??? this is a universally agreed fact

so yeah, that's it! i hope this helped anyone else having a hard time with various ailments. if you liked it then likes & reblogs are much appreciated!

- jay<3

[stellocchia]

hey, do you have some advice? i'm not really a niki apologist but i feel the intense urge to defend her pov. i dunno if its because of previous exp in their fandoms that just endlessly shit on girl characters or not or if its because i'm a girl who dislikes seeing a girl character's pov about her feelings and thoughts being used the way they are by the community. on both sides ofc because honestly i'm sick of both and idk what to do.

Well, I'm not really the biggest expert on c!Niki's character to be honest, but I do completely get where your frustration comes from. C!Niki from my understanding of her truly does get misunderstood A LOT and this latest debate is proof of it.

About her character:

Like, are there parts of her character I don't particularly like and think were badly executed? Yes. Honestly season 2 as a whole was a trainwreak for her character. Like, I understand that she was not acting rationally and that she's one of the characters who fell for c!Dream's propaganda during it (ending up convinced that Tommy was the source of all problems), but she was basically irrelevant that whole season. Beginning of season 3 isn't necessarily better. The team rocket arc mostly work because it showcases c!Niki's mentality and way of thinking quite well, but the resulotion of it felt way too abrupt and unearned to be honest.

THAT SAID, I don't think she's a bad character per se. I think that if you look at her narrative it's mostly consistent (except for the one problem I pointed out) and it works with the bigger narrative as well. It's an interesting show of the importance of attachments showing what happens when you loose them without getting rid of them yourself. She's honestly what c!Techno could have been if he was complex enough to be called a character: choosing to lash out with violence and choosing revenge actually making you miserable which fits in with the overarching message of the smp.

And now we get to my biggest crux when it comes to her character: how the fandom treats her.

The fervent apologist problem:

All the people who were supporting her for burning the L'Mantree or who were clamoring for her to kill c!Tommy or c!Wilbur actually completely misread her character and often only boil her down to her gender and nothing more. "She's cool and right in trying to kill a traumatized teen that never did anything wrong to her because she's a woman and that means she's a girlboss" type of mentality.

That's honestly such a disservice to her actual character, it's embarassing. C!Niki as a character is someone who has lived through a dictatorship and a war, she's someone who's opinions and words honestly never mattered (similarly to Fundy) and who chose kindness anyway. She chose to build the Secret City because she cared and wanted to help... but that didn't work out because it wouldn't be the smp if it did. She isolated herself from others burying herself in her work and slowly loosing her connections which made her feel even more abandoned which caused her to lash out. She's a tragic character and (crappy Syndicate connection aside) she's written well enough as one. She's not there to be people's Empowered Female Character that can do now wrong because she's barely a character, her gender is NOT what's important about her.

There is also the thing that a lot of people are uncomfortable with which is the tendency of the fandom to try and pit extremely traumatized characters against each other as if that would solve anything ever and as if that would serve any purpouse aside from sending a very bad message. They do it with c!Tubbo and c!Tommy, constantly trying to make their friendship out to be this horribly unhealthy thing when it's not and they're doing it now with c!Niki and c!Wilbur and it's uncomfortable.

c!Niki is her own character, stop making her story about c!Wilbur:

Now the diametrically opposite problem which I've seen a ton of possibly because I follow a ton of c!Wilbur apologists is people making her story about c!Wilbur.

I've seen this even more after the last stream which honestly said nothing about c!Wilbur. The whole stream was about c!Niki and HER view of the world, the way SHE thinks and the way SHE copes with trauma. C!Wilbur was the focus of her anger only in name because truly the focus was an unholy amalgamation of everything bad that ever happened to her. It wasn't good characterization for c!Wilbur because it wasn't supposed to be. And YET most of the analysis on that stream that I've seen was about HIM. About how none of what she says should matter for our perception of his character, about the fact that he did care, about: "but look at everything he did for her", about the fact that he too is hurt and spiraling about everything BUT HER.

And I get it really, it's annoying to see your favourite character get mischaracterized and see so many people advocate someone else hurting them or killing them (though with c!Tommy being my fave I'm a bit desensitized to it by now. It's really an everyday occurence for us), it's worrying and annoying and I get that. But this stream was not about him and they made it about him. They made it so c!Niki anjoyers have to sift through a shitton of drama just so they can maybe find something on the stream that's about HER and that honestly sucks. Heck, the closest I could find to it was people condescedingly going "punching c!Wilbur would not help c!Niki heal" and I'm just here like: "yeah no shit Sherlock! Can we talk about how she casually mentioned throwing herself off her own buildings and starving herself now? Because that's FAR more interesting honestly".

I think the biggest problem here is people on both sides not understanding that, while c!Niki's story seems to heavily involve c!Wilbur in name that's not actually the case, especially since her story far outlasted his. Her problems won't be all solved by punching him NOR by talking to him and solving their issues because that means assuming that her problems are, in fact, all originated from him. They aren't. They could go back to be friends and nothing would be resolved (and that's without even considering that c!Wilbur is not someone healthy to have around at the moment) because c!Niki's problems come from her tendency to isolate herself and slowly but surely chip away at her own systems of support. Basically she needs therapy and to possibly re-establish her connections to people who aren't, you know, extremely violent war criminals with no capacity for introspection.

[janiedean]

not to be that person but idk why everyone keeps behaving like sansa surviving KL and LF means she's smarter than every other stark like only court intrigues and politics require you to be smart?? and surviving amongst the smallfolk and assassins and night's watch and beyond the wall is all about brawn and physical strength??? that's so... classist lmfao, like surviving without revealing you're a highborn in a warzone, not starving to death, not being killed by soldiers/assassins/whatnot requires as much brains as surviving court politics. jon had to deal with politics at the NW and with Stannis. admittedly bran's story was doesn't at all in the show but he's about the only one who manages to explore his warging abilities fully it's not a piece of cake?? and arya had to escape KL, survive flea bottom, then harrenhal (under ROOSE BOLTON FFS) and the bwb and the red wedding AND get to braavos and survive the faceless men whoch is supposedly the leading assassin organization in asoiaf.

i'm not even getting into everything dany's done and survived lol. but okay samsa is the only genius in westeros, we know she is because tyrion says so i guess? not to mention show sansa's political "mentors" are possible the WORST examples of rulers we have - cersei and littlefinger. they didn't give 2 shits about ruling or the smallfolk or leadership, just about their own power. and i'd say that's important given how much time grrm spends showing us how the smallfolk suffer because of the games played by kings and queens.

this... actually requires a bit of going into it but like not counting that show sansa was a travesty and I'm choosing to not acknowledge it, and show lf was... I mean I'm not even going into how much it was a disservice to the og char whom I detest but honestly book!lf wouldn't marry sansa to anyone he didn't do research about lmfao but like not going into... those... plot holes.....

the entire point is that in the book sansa ends up under those two's tutelage anyway and... she's posed to do the contrary? what does she think looking at c.? that when she's queen she wants to be loved not feared, and like... being with lf is testing her morals but it's obvious that since she survived staying kind until now (I mean... again it's her leitmotiv she helped lancel & about everyone she could who was a jerk to her to the point it sent at least lancel into a faith crisis, she felt bad for joffrey like FOR FUCKING JOFFREY COME ON that's her selling point HER FUCKING SELLING POINT) then she'll just... gain enough political knowledge to outsmart people when she wants to but she won't use it to be a jerk she'll use it.. to.. help her family... when they're reunited which is p obvious to me but nvm

the thing is that people have decided to attach it to the underdog female character goes up the power ladder trope which.... like that's not it

also there's the part where like people are so caught up in the whole WHO HAS IT WORSE BETWEEN SANSA AND ARYA WHO IS THE BEST feud that... they don't notice that they have specular ways of dealing with trauma like arya is dealing with having to lose her identity/risking not knowing who she is anymore and she has to deal with increasing violence/ptsd-related trauma bc she's throw in the middle of everything bad she could end up in like she was almost in the red wedding I was 90% sure she also died until I saw she had a chapter after, while sansa has managed to dodge courtly poisons by being herself and by not letting it change who she is which tyrion noticed which everyone noticed which is why guess what tyrion is willing to stand up to his father and tell him no when it comes to actually having sex with her when he couldn't for the marriage and she's the only person that managed to get past sandor's trauma issues enough that he tried to actually help her for what he could, like... arya has de-personalization to overcome, sansa is holding to her guns by staying herself and she has to learn what good she can from lf before ditching him and keeping on staying herself like it's fucking specular it's not supposed to be a game of who has it worse

(wish ppl would get it also with jaime and tyrion and their coping with trauma but nvm)

the fact that ppl downplay that jon isn't politically an idiot at all irks me forever but like... bruh the dude handled being lord commander, an entire siege when he was like seventeen and was hobbling around on crutches, managed to infiltrate the wildlings without anyone finding out (and it traumatized the shit out of him but nvm) and if only he was good at PR he wouldn't have gotten juliuscaesared, like... okay X°DDD

I mean... yes it's classist but that's a dead horse to beat, if people actually took that angle into account they wouldn't write off brienne or davos chapters as BORING if only bc they're the only ones where you see how not-nobles are doing as in badly X°D

anyway like all stark kids have enough smarts to survive their storylines and robb had to be taken out with a betrayal so he wasn't being that stupid either differently from what my villain origin story thinks but again as someone said once if you hate a stark kid to prop up your fave your fave most likely would hate you so that's my stance X°D

but like... the point is that sansa was shown to gaf about others/the smallfolk/people lower than her in the food chain which dnd/half of this fandom didn't get which is why she'll be an excellent regent for bran and I'm dying on that hill but again this entire thing where you have to pit your fave against everyone else to show how much more badass/smarter they are is imvho a useless exercise because then I'll cut the gordian knot and say that if gilly managed to survive at least seventeen years with her father in that context knowing that her mother was also her sister and that she'd get the same treatment and if she had male children they'd get put out in the open and killed and then was forced to swap her own baby for another without knowing if that baby was going to die or not and she still had it in herself to not turn into a complete asshole she wins for toughest survivor in westeros at least out of the girls unless we want jeynep to give her a run for her money because like... going from lf to ramsay and not as a protegé and considering she was afraid ramsay was going to sic dogs on her when they saved her I think we can maybe ger some perspective here X°DDDD

(I'm not even going into the guys because honestly there's an amount of trauma that's not quantifiable in there X°DD)

like...... again everyone has it bad in these books and propping up your fave making the others look bad makes no sense bc if you love your fave then you have reasons to and you don't need to compare them to others to make them look as good as you think they are and that's my hill to die on X°D

[shego1142]

Hi, um... so I saw your btd and infinity train post and just gotta say, super glad I'm not the only one that thought that! Now that season 3 is officially all out I'm really curious if you've seen it yet and what you thought.

Goes without saying but MAJOR infinity train season 3 spoilers below!

This is also discussing an 18+ horror-porn game which features a lot of gore and other potentially triggering subjects so dni if you are not 18 or older or if gore/murder/etc make you uncomfy!

I just watched the finale. I’m like... in shock?

I mean by no means was or is Simon my fave at all (he just looks a lot like my ultimate comfort character lol) but wow... just... wow

It is a lot different when like... comparing btd with infinity train too tho!

Like, I feel like the entire /point/ of btd is to let your morality go. Like, it’s a horror-porn game.

It’s meant to be like “what up u fucks, being murdered is sexy! Yes Strade daddy kick my fucking head in! Lawrence pls squeeze my actual literal beating heart you weird necrophile”

And meanwhile infinity train is like “we are all just a collection of our actions, we all deserve the chance to redeem ourselves but sometimes we may not be able to due to the trauma we’ve been put through and the finite amount of time we have”

And I personally believe that both of those facets of humanity are okay to explore in fiction. It’s healthy to explore them in fact.

That said like, yea Simon is an asshole but I still liked him. Still think he deserved to redeem himself.

Still think it’s unfair that the train even happened to him at all, because he probably would have been better off at 10 years old with people who could look at him and say “yo, kid, here’s a therapist” instead of him being led by someone who is just as much a scared kid as he is.

Him doing what he’s always been taught to do and suddenly being told it’s wrong... as someone who’s autistic I can tell you that that’s a world shattering circumstance.

Idk if Simon was autistic or not, tbh I was too freaked out by how much he looked like Lawrence to notice much else about him...

Idk personally I liked the finale even if I feel like it wasn’t fair. I like the story even if it ripped me up emotionally, even if it’s making me think about things I wish I weren’t thinking about (like whether or not I’m a good person and whether or not redemption is possible and whether or not somewhere somehow those who couldn’t redeem themselves in this life are able to redeem themselves elsewhere)

I feel hollow after watching the finale, but in a good way.

Yes I would adore beyond all belief to have like, a fic it fic or something that gives Simon a second chance... like idk, maybe he wakes up in the real world from a coma? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And maybe when she gets out (probably very soon) Grace finds him.

But maybe that’s just it. Maybe that’s the end, full stop, he died, he’s gone, he lived a shitty life from ages 10 to what? 16? 18?

Idk... you asked about my thoughts and rn the main thing I’m thinking is just how much I really do hate how the fandom is this big jumbled mess of completely missing the point.

But anyway, yea no I lost my absolute shit when I saw him in season 2

Like I was /obsessed/ because of how freaking much he looked like Lawrence. Still am, bc wow the hair down look was wild too!

Especially with the “he went insane” scene... very Lawrence.

I guess that brings me back around to what I was saying about btd and infinity train being ultimately so different too.

With Lawrence I personally am like “yes my horrible son, you are a bad socially anxious murder boy and your entire purpose is to murder. Continue your murdering. Especially if it’s me or characters I relate to because I’m dealing with some shit and imagining you murdering me helps me deal with it, you funky little weird coping mechanism you.”

With Simon I’m like “You’re an ass. It’s not your fault though. I would be an ass too if I had been taught from age ten to do things the way you were taught to do them. Your actions are horrible and if you had had a fair shot at learning personal responsibility I would argue that you should be held responsible for them. But since you didn’t, since you spent your entire time on the train without growing, staying stagnant and forcing yourself to regress because it’s what you’d been taught was right, what you thought was right, all I can do is pity you. Your purpose was to learn to be a better person and you failed and I’m sorry.”

They’re ultimately very different characters for me despite how similar they are (obviously the way they look exactly alike but they’re also mentally unstable, started killing at a young age, have anger issues, etc)

I adore infinity train, and all its characters honestly. I really do hope there’s some form of closure for Simon but I’m not expecting it either.

Right now I just wish the fandom wasn’t trying to tear apart those who want closure for him. That’s so... outside of the point of the entire show.

Idk this goes a lot into my philosophy on life in general too I think, basically I don’t think there are people who are irredeemable. Not on shows, not in real life. I think there are just people who need help. I think that people deserve to be treated fairly and with respect regardless of what horrible actions they may have committed.

I guess I’m just really irritated rn at how some of the fandom seems to think that it was Simon’s “right and just punishment” that he died.

It wasn’t a punishment. It was just something that happened. People die. It happens. He didn’t die because he was a bad person. At least I don’t think so.

And it doesn’t make me, or any other fans, or Grace, or the apex kids bad people to mourn for him. For his lost opportunities. He was a traumatised child and he’s gone now.

And the ghom? Wasn’t it shown in season one that the ghoms are Amelia’s fault anyway?

Personally I think the entire point of the train is to work out your problems, full stop.

I think the only way someone is /meant/ to be able to die from the train is to die of old age.

The ghoms are accidental. They’re the product of someone else’s actions.

And sometimes we fall prey to that. And I think it’s okay to look at that and say “well that’s not fair.”

Because it isn’t.

I don’t know if Simon could have gotten better. Maybe he could have?

In the scene where he loses his sanity there for a moment he really did show signs of immense remorse and even confusion.

But honestly? Even if he wasn’t able to get better he didn’t deserve to die. And it disturbs me that a lot of peeps seem to think he did.

Anyway sorry this turned into a bit more of a rant than I meant for it to!!! >~<

Like I said I /just/ watched it!

But yea as far as Simon Laurent looking like Lawrence goes, I’m still a bit freaked out by that. The amount of times I’ve gone to write “Lawrence” instead of Simon in this post is way to high lol!

Personally I wanna know how gato feels about him honestly! Like she’s Lawrence’s creator and Simon really does seem like such a nod to her character!

Thanks for the ask, I got to vent a good bit! Idk if this is the convo you wanted from me tho lol :P