#idk because he has barely come out of the basement

[yearsbecomingcool]

I have somewhat of any idea for the Seth fic maybe readers in the industry and meets him on his scouting trip like that one scene (how did that girl not melt seeing that hot tech nerd suited up) anyways telling you about his company w subtle flirty banter and later calling so he can show you around possibly leading to other steamy things once seeing your work 🤷‍♀️

idk im trash at putting out ideas so do what you will with this im excited for anything you put out for his characters! -⭐️

we're ending it on the phone | seth warshavsky

donate to gaza here | masterlist

pairing | seth warshavsky x adult film star!f!reader

synopsis | after seth tries to recruit you to join his site you call him back with some questions.

warnings | 18+!! mdni!!! sexual content, adult film star!reader, switch!seth, switch!reader, bisexual!reader, inaccurate depictions of the adult film industry, phone sex, mentions of bdsm, panty play, humiliation, degradation and mutual masturbation.

word count | 4.2k

a/n | if you're thinking about watching pam & tommy, don't!! it was made without pamela's permission and knowledge and is beyond disrespectful to her. it's not worth your time and fred has barely any screentime as seth. seth is also just a massive piece of shit in the show and real life so i'm characterizing him very differently in this fic. if you want to watch fred as seth stick to edits and scene packs! this was going to be longer and include them going to his studio for a tour but it just wasn't coming to me like i was hoping it would so i decided to just cut it after the phone sex so i hope that's alright!! i might do a part 2 because i had an idea for another seth fic anyway.

taglist | @slaytheusurper @samslvrgirl @janis01127 @kawaii1kitten @mvnqvinn

Another day another shoot at some barely decorated mansion in the valley. You had been in the business for a little over the year, skyrocketing to popularity pretty quickly for someone so new. You’d practically done it all to get your start, softcore, hardcore, girl on girl, guy on girl, threesomes, orgies, you’d even done a few fetish films. Whatever it took to pay the bills and get you better paychecks you were down for. Today you were filming something completely boring, you’d seen about a million different versions of this but your agent promised the payout would be great so who were you to argue? You’d be playing some spoiled sorority girl fucking her professor to get a better grade, how innovative…

The production company had rented out a mansion for a couple days, a pair set up in every room for filming to make the most out of the money they’d spent renting it. You were scheduled to film in the study room with another actor you’d worked with before, he was nice and your films always turned out great but you were getting sick of filming with the same people constantly. It didn’t help that your filming schedule had been so packed that you had practically lost any and all time for a life outside of work, you were starting to grow bored of it all, you needed to switch it up for a change. When you got ready that morning you didn’t put in that much effort, leaving your face bare and your hair untouched. You trusted the hair and makeup artists would know better than you. You wore your usually filming day outfit, some comfy loungewear and a pair of slip on vans. The drive to the mansion from your apartment wasn’t awful, you’d definitely had longer and shittier commutes before. 

When you arrived the set was buzzing with activity, like always on these big shoots there were people everywhere. The crew was all over the place, you were directed to the basement where the hair and makeup team was set up to get everyone ready. When you walked in there was already a pair filming a penetration scene on top of a bar. Yours was planned to be more than just penetration, there’d be some spanking, restraints, oral, edging, and of course penetration as well. You made your way to the basement, joining the other actors. You made small talk with your scene partner while the girls got you ready, he was a bit older than you and was pretty much always cast in some sort of dominant role. You’d been cast in a multitude of submissive roles lately, you were a little tired of it. You wanted to make someone else come undone for once. Your eyes were heavily lined and smokey and your lips were slathered in so much gloss you could practically feel it weighing you down. You made your way to wardrobe, being dressed in a cropped t-shirt that had the neckline cut off so it slouched off one shoulder, no bra underneath of course. They’d paired it with the tiniest pair of cut off shorts you’d seen in your life, a hot pink thong poking out the back, the strings pulled up onto your hips. 

They offered you a robe to wear until shooting started but you declined, heading upstairs to go smoke by the pool. As you head up the stairs you see a man, if you can really call him that. He looked college aged and completely out of place in his suit that was a bit too big for him, the arms fit just a bit too long. His blonde hair had been styled nicely, he was trying to look powerful but instead looked like a kid playing in his fathers suit. He looks up at you with a smile, beckoning you over. You glanced around the room, considering if you should, but your curiosity got the best of you and you made your way over to him. He reached out to shake your hand, “I think I’ve seen you before.”

You roll your eyes at his shitty opener, shaking his hand. “If you’re a perv, which you probably are, then I’d assume you have. What are you doing here exactly?”

He eyes you shamelessly, “I’m Seth Warshavsky, I’m here for a few days trying to scout some talent. You seem like you’d be a good fit for what I’m looking for.”

You sigh, “Listen, if you’re trying to get me to switch over to your production company you’ll have to talk to my manager. I’ve been with this one like my whole career, I don’t think they’re gonna be happy if I jump ship now.”

He nods but he’s not really listening. “Just give me a chance to explain. I think you’ll like what I’m offering. You obviously enjoy what you do but aren’t you tired of getting fucked how someone else chooses? Wouldn’t you want a chance to enjoy your shoots more? This would be porn all on your own terms, you pick what you do what, what you wear, how you look. Doesn’t that sound better than all this?” He nods his head in the direction of the pair shooting on the couch, the man is plowing into her at a punishing pace, her moans sound faker than ever. You know she’s not actually enjoying herself.

“What exactly are you proposing here, Seth?” You ask, leaning against the wall. 

He hands you his card, “Internet Entertainment Group. We’re based in Seattle, we run a cam site, the highest quality available. All the other companies trying to get into online porn don’t have a chance against us. You’d make your own schedule, you’d pick what you wanna do for your streams. You’d have all the control. It would just be you, a camera, and the live stream chat. People would pay per minute, pay to request certain things, they’d be able to tip. There’s a lot more money in it than you’d think. Why don’t you give me a call tonight after you’ve had time to think about it, yeah?”

You take his card, stuffing it into your carton of cigarettes. “I’ll think about it…”

“And what was your name? I don’t think I caught it.”

You smirk, “That’s because I didn’t tell you my name. Just call me Vixen.”

He nods, “Alright then, Vixen. I’ll be expecting a call from you later, yeah?”

“If I remember,” you say, walking away to go smoke out back. 

You lounge outside by the pool, sitting on an unoccupied deck chair and smoking with another actress. “Did he ask you to join his little company too? I’ve heard from a few other girls that he’s been making his way all over Cali to try and recruit some girls for his site.” Asks Gigi. You’ve known her since you started, she’s only a few years older than you are and was one of the first bigger names you got to work with.

“Yep. Kind of shitty to come onto our sets where we’re working to recruit, don’t you think?”

She takes a drag from her cigarette, her bubblegum pink lipstick staining it. “Mhm, he’s one of those Silicon Valley tech bros trying to revolutionize whatever industry they can get their hands on. I don’t know why he doesn’t stream himself, he’s cute enough.”

You laugh, “Oh I’d pay to see that. What do you think he’d be like?”

Gigi hums, trying to imagine it. “Hmm…maybe he’d be one of those whiny types. He’s cocky but I doubt he has the stamina to back it up.”

“I do like the whiny ones…there’s no better feeling than pulling a man's hair and hearing him whimper like a little bitch,” you giggle, taking a drag from your cigarette. You watch from the deck chair as he approaches another girl, he’s much shorter than her, it’s quite entertaining to watch him try to sell his idea to women who have no interest in what he’s selling.

“Amen to that…” 

You hate to say it but the longer you film the more you think of Seth's offer, getting paid to masturbate and talk sounds like a dream. Obviously it’s a lot more than just jacking off and yapping but as your scene partner pounds into you pleasurelessly it starts to sound more and more appealing. You can picture it now, dressed up all pretty on a bedroom set, spreading yourself open in front of a camera, taking your time with your pleasure. Teasing yourself for your viewers, letting them think they have control, taking their money while you get yourself off. Okay it’s definitely more appealing than whatever the hell Jack is doing to you right now. You fight the urge to move his hand to your clit, you’d done it before and gotten yelled at for going off script. Your moans get more and more fake as it goes along. By the end of the day you’re sore, sticky, and in desperate need of a shower. 

Once you get home you’re quick to strip off your clothes and jump into the shower, you spend your time getting yourself clean, letting the warm water wash over you as you massage the muscles in your arms. You make a mental note to go to a massage parlor sometime this week, it’s been too long since you’ve been and you know you’re gonna feel like shit in the morning. Once you get into bed you start to think of Seth’s offer again, you grab your purse off your nightstand and dig your carton of cigarettes out of the bag. You pull the business card out of where you’d stashed it earlier and flip it around to look at the number. You chew at your lower lip trying to decide if you should call, you tap your manicured nails against the phone sitting on your nightstand before muttering, “Fuck it…” and dialing the number. 

You nervously play with the phone cord as you hear it ring, it goes on for a while and you consider just hanging up but finally he picks up. “Hello?” His voice is raspier than normal, you glance at the clock. Shit, it’s 1am, you probably woke him up.

“Hey it’s-” you almost say your real name, “Vixen…we uh, we met earlier today at that shoot in the Valley.”

He chuckles, carding his fingers through his hair. “I remember you, I didn’t expect you to call if I’m being honest.” You can hear the TV playing faintly in the background. He picks up the remote to pause the VHS he was playing.

“Yeah? You didn’t think you sold me on it?” You tease, laying back against your pillows, making yourself comfortable. Something about his voice is starting to make you want to dip your hand between your thighs, he could read the dictionary aloud and it would still get you squirming.

“If you want me to be honest I really didn’t, you seemed pretty set on staying with your job. How was that shoot, by the way? You looked nice…” He glances up at his TV, he had gone to a video store by his hotel and rented a few of your films. Your latest film, ‘Sorority Sluts II’, sits paused on the screen. You’re tied up on the screen, a panty gag stuffed hastily into your mouth. Your eyes are screwed shut in pleasure as another woman presses a wand to your clit. He has to admit you’re his favorite he’s watched so far, your moans could be enough to make him come. 

“Do you want the truth? I mean, have you worked in the industry outside of your little cam site?” You ask, thinking back on your shoot from earlier.

“I worked as a production assistant for a bit but besides that it’s really just been cams…so why don’t you give me a little scoop into the reality of being a big time pornstar…” He jokes.

His laugh makes your cheeks heat up, he sounds cute when he laughs. “When I first started I never would’ve thought I’d say this but it was so goddamn boring…I used to enjoy it but after a certain point it all got monotonous I guess. They really want us to stick to the script so there’s not a lot of room for real pleasure, y’know?”

“So you are faking it on these tapes?”

Your face scrunches up in confusion, “Are you watching my work? I’m flattered that I looked so hot when you saw me today you just had to go out and buy all my tapes…”

He scoffs, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, babe. I actually rented them. I just wanted to get more…familiar with your work just in case you called.” The lotion and tissues sitting on the nightstand begs to differ.

“Yeah, so what do you think, am I any good?”

He rolls his eyes, “Are you kidding me? You’re a fucking star. If you come to work for me I really think you could make more than you are right now, you’d have more fun too. I bet you sound so pretty when it’s real, people are over the scripted shit, they want to see something real. Why do you think sex tapes are getting so popular now?”

“You have a lot of good points…I really have to talk to my manager about this though. I have a contract and everything too…” you sigh.

“But you want to do it? Is that what I’m hearing?” You can practically hear his smile through the phone. His eyes flick back to you on his screen and he licks his lips.

“Yeah, I am. It sounds nice, it sounds better than what I’m doing now.”

“It will be, I promise. Every girl who’s switched over is making way more now.”

You look up at the ceiling, wetting your lips with your tongue. “Which film of mine were you watching when I called?” You ask curiously, starting to spread your legs. You start to trail your hand between your thighs as you wait to hear what he says.

“‘Sorority Sluts II’. You play a lot of sorority girls huh?”

You chuckle, “Yeah, the studio decided I just fit the look I guess…what do you think of it?”

His eyes widen, he can tell what you’re really trying to ask. “The way these girls are hazing you is pretty hot. This seems like it would’ve been a fun shoot…how many of these moans were fake?”

You think back to when you filmed it, “Not many are fake in that one actually. The humiliation films are always able to get me off so easily. I mean can you really blame me? All these pretty girls pinning me down and making fun of me, stripping me down, getting me off…that shoot was a fucking dream…”

“So should I be looking to see if any of the girls would want to stream with you then?”

You laugh, rolling your eyes. “Are you taking notes right now, you fuckin’ nerd?”

“No! I just-” You cut him off.

“Turn off the business part of your brain for like five minutes…you have a nice voice, like really fucking nice. Like I would get off to you reading the dictionary nice…I…what are you wearing right now, Seth?” You haven’t felt this nervous since you were a teenager trying to not get caught having phone sex with your first girlfriend. 

He chuckles, laying back and “Are you trying to have phone sex with me right now?”

“Yeah…do you…do you not want to have phone sex with me?” You sound pathetic. 

He laughs, “I do, I just wasn’t expecting this.”

“So…what are you wearing Seth?”

He sighs playfully, “That’s really the line you’re going with here? You’re a pornstar and that’s the best you can give me? C’mon babe, you can do better than that.”

“Okay to be fair I didn’t write any pornos, I just starred in them okay!” You say defensively.

“Fine…I’m wearing,” Seth looks down at his outfit, “A white t-shirt and some black boxer briefs. What about you, babe?”

“I’m wearing a white tank top and some white panties with a cherry print on them.”

He chuckles, “Cherries huh? Cute.” He tries to picture you laying in bed wearing them.

You chew nervously at your lower lip, “Did you get hard watching my films?”

“How could I not? You looked fucking amazing…you look so good tied up and writhing under their touch. The way you’re just helpless and at their mercy…god…” He can’t help but reach down and squeeze himself through his underwear. His eyes flicker over to the screen, your face scrunched up in ecstasy.

“You wanna tie me up, Seth? Use a vibrator on me, or maybe eat me out? You seem good with your mouth, you think you could make me come undone for you?” You ask, your hand trailing down to your panties. You play with the frills that line the waistband.

“Of course I could, I’d have you writhing in seconds,” he says cockily.

“You sound so confident,” you giggle. 

“I have the proof to back it up…do you wanna start touching yourself for me?”

“Mhm, where should I start?” You feel nervous, as if you’re a teenager again.

“Start by playing with your tits over your tank top, play with your nipples too. Get them hard for me, close your eyes and pretend it’s me doing it,” he instructs. 

You use your shoulder to keep the phone in place as you trail your hands down to your breasts, you close your eyes and knead at your flesh, whining softly into the phone. Seth smiles when he hears you, “So fucking pretty…” 

You roll your nipple between your thumb and forefinger, whimpering his name as you squirm under your own touch. Seth teases himself over his underwear as he listens to you whine and squirm, “If I was there with you I’d mark up those perfect tits, make sure the next time someone saw you undressed they knew who had you last. You going to set with my marks all over you…I wouldn’t start with your tits though, I’d pull you into my lap to straddle me first. I’d kiss you, soft at first, get you nice and comfortable before I pull you closer by your hair. I bet you’d whimper like a little bitch, wouldn’t you? I’ve seen how you take pain, it’d be so pathetic. I’d kiss down your neck, mark you up there too, leave marks in places not even a turtleneck could hide. Then I’d move onto your tits, I’d be rough just to keep those sad little whimpers going. Biting at your sensitive tits, pulling and twisting at your nipples, god I bet it’d get you wet so quick. You’d like it, wouldn’t you?”

You whine at his words, nodding as if he can see you. “I’m already wet just from imagining it…I’d be a fucking mess in your lap. If you think I’m whiny now just wait till you get me in your lap for real. I’m not like I am in my films y’know, in real life I get so much more pathetic, much more squirmy. You’d probably like that, huh?”

“‘Course I would, a pretty girl whining and squirming in my lap is like my perfect wet dream.” He chuckles. He reaches over to the nightstand and pumps some lotion into his hand. He ducks his hand beneath his waistband, wrapping his hand around his cock. “Touch yourself for me, do it over your panties. Y’know what, grab the waistband for me and tug those pretty little things up your cunt. Make it tight for me, hold it in place and play with your clit over your panties.” 

“You want me to give myself a wedgie?” Your brows furrowed in confusion, it’s an odd request.

“Don’t think of it like that, just try it for me, yeah? It’ll feel good, trust me.”

Your cheeks heat up with embarrassment as you reach down, curling your fingers around the frilly waistband of your panties. You sigh, embarrassment filling your chest as you slowly pull up the waistband. The cotton fabric pulls taut against your cunt creating a friction you would’ve never imagined could be so pleasurable. You whine as you hook your fingers into the leg holes, tugging it up, starting to feel it push your lips apart. “Seth…I can’t believe you’re making me do this, it’s so embarrassing…” You whine, your hips bucking up involuntarily as you pull harder. The fabric presses against your clit making every move even more pleasurable. 

“If it’s so embarrassing why are you doing it and whimpering like it gets you off, hm? Keep pulling for me, be a good girl. Make it tight. Pull till you can’t take it anymore.” 

You whimper as you tug the fabric between your lips, holding it tight against your cunt. It’s biting into you painfully but despite that you’re soaking the fabric. You can feel your cunt pulse around it, clenching at the fabric. “I-I think it’s tight enough…”

He smiles, pumping his cock at a teasingly slow pace. “Play with your clit for me, soak those panties like the good girl I know you are.” 

You start to rub your clit over the taut fabric, the added friction from your panties makes you whine even louder into the phone. You grind your hips against your hand, “Stop teasing and let me play with myself properly.” 

“Hm…why should I?” He teases.

“I gave myself a fucking wedgie for you, don’t be a dick!” You groan in frustration.

“Fine…go on, you can touch yourself.”

You slowly pull your panties back down, the crotch soaked with your juices. You wince at the unexpected burn as you pull your panties out of your most sensitive area. You slowly insert two fingers inside of yourself, using your thumb to play with your clit. You’re mumbling into the phone, “Seth, you gonna let me come tonight? Gonna get off to my moans again? How many of my tapes did you jack off too tonight, hm?”

He starts to pump his cock at a faster pace, “Fuck…four? I think, yeah, four. I haven’t finished the one that's on right now.”

An idea pops into your head and you smile at the thought, “You wanna finish that tape while you’re on the phone with me? Wanna tell me what’s happening in it?”

“Yes ma’am…” He presses play on the remote, the tape starting up again. He starts narrating the tape to you, “You’re tied up, a blonde woman is pressing the hitachi wand to your clit. You’re moaning like a pathetic little bitch, writhing around, trying to escape the sensation. God you’re fucking helpless to it, poor baby can’t help but enjoy it.” His pupils are blown as he jacks off. Your movements speed up as well, imagining he’s the one doing it to you. 

“I sound pathetic, yeah? Do I sound like this?” You start to imitate your moans and whimpers from your tapes. That really gets him going, he squeezes his hand around his cock.

“If you do this I won’t last much longer,” he whines.

“Good,” you laugh breathily. 

“You gonna sound this pretty on stream, baby?”

You roll your eyes, “What’d I say about business talk, hm?”

“Sorry…sorry…just imagining you all dolled up teasing your viewers. Bet you’d use toys and tease yourself for ‘em…pretty girl edging herself for her audience…” He trails off, imagining your future streams.

“I’m gonna be your favorite, hm? Gonna spend your days jackin’ off to me ‘stead of doing work, aren’t you? Fuckin’ pervert…bet you like me talking mean like this, don’t you? Admit it, Seth. Tell me how much you like it, you fucking perv.”

Your words go straight to his cock and he can feel himself getting closer, “Of course you’re gonna be my favorite…prettiest fucking girl I’ve ever seen, might have to pay you for a private stream sometime…” He’s practically fucking his hand at this point. The two of you are a mess of  moans and whines, his narration of the tape quickly stopping as he feels himself getting closer. 

“Gonna come…let me come, please…” You mumble. Your skin feels like it’s on fire, you need release more than you need air. 

“You can come baby…come whenever you need, such a good girl, already earned it,” he mutters, hips bucking up against his hand. 

It doesn’t take much longer for the both of you to come, he’s first, your name mixed in with a few swears spilling from his lips. The same comes from you only seconds later, curling into yourself as you work yourself through your orgasm. The only sound coming from the phones is the two of you trying to catch your breath.

“Are you gonna come see the studio?” He asks, his voice softer now.

“Mhm…gonna talk with my manager ‘bout it, I’ll keep you updated.”

“Good girl…thank you for calling, I had a nice time with you,” he says shyly.

You can’t help but smile at how soft his voice got, “So did I…I’ll call you again sometime, promise.” You hang up before he can get another word in. You look up at the ceiling, “What the hell did I just do?”

[sanoelitist]

Osomatsu-san Midwestern AU

This is my first AU. I could've done something cool like some zombie apocalypse AU or bullshit, but I decided to be boring. I'm a midwesterner so of course I'm going to make them part of the midwest. (sorry about grammar and spelling)

The sextuplets live in Indiana in a small town outside of the city in the early-mid 2000s. They’re all nothing but a bunch 20-something years living in their parents basement (hey, at least they have jobs kinda) 

The sextuplets:

Osomatsu (he/him) - Brags about being the head singer of the sextuplet's shitty band (they haven’t performed since fucking high school) All he does is smoke weed all day. He's got fired from every job he had, mostly for slacking and stealing shit. He got arrested once for a DUI. Their mother begs him to get rid of that shitty mullet. got a bunch of shitty tattoos. He working (on the verge of being fired) at Krogers. Gets kicked out like every month, but comes back.

Karamatsu (he/him) - Works at car mechanic shop with his dad. Got arrested for shoplifting (he didn’t, it’s was Osomatsu) huge music nerd mainly of punk bands, he never shuts up about it. Dreams of being a NASCAR driver, his mother pray that he won't do it. Gets horrible breakouts when stress. He drives a blue 1990s Honda Accord LX because he crashed is last car (twice)

Choromatsu (they/them) - They go to a community college. Make money off of babysitting kids and does tutoring for middle schoolers. Try to be a holy child of the family (they everything, BUT holy) They always look the best going to church. Their mom brags about them to her friends. Has a crush on Osomatsu's friend (he's a drug dealer) Big DnD fan, plays with their group of friends on friday's nights.

Ichimatsu (he/they) - Black sheep of the family, I mean look at him. Worked at a Pizza Hut for 2 month and had a mental breakdown. He quit to work at a GameStop but fucking hated his manager. Got hired at hot topic (he still wants to kill himself) he smokes with Osomatsu sometimes. He's that one guy in high school that can get you are facial piercing at a cheap price and it has 50% chance of getting infection.

Jyushimatsu (he/him) - Volunteers at a baseball team and watch the kids get yelled at by the drunk coach for not having their head in the game, but the kids love him so. Got fired from Dairy Queen for giving free blizzards to random kids and girls he found pretty. Big cartoon dog lover, he got like 8 t-shirt (ichi got them for him) He the only one with actual stable fucking relationship (jyushi x homura for the win)

Todomatsu (they/he/she) - Works at a retail job, first Burlington then goodwill for a bit because they mom got they the job. Now he works at the Macy's inside the mall. He hopes to be a hairstylist and get the fuck out of Indiana. Got an off and on relationship with his boyfriend (Atsushi) with some other situationships.

Ok now the real important info: Who are virgins still?

Karamatsu - looking for the right person (he's too nervous)

Choromatsu - Religious reasons (doesn't mean they ain't thinking about it)

Ichimatsu - too nervous, but never really be thinking about it

Parents:

Matsuyo - The most midwestern mom you can think of. She a pediatrician.

Matsuzo - Barely there with his kids, emotionally. he's a car mechanic. he's trying lol

Ok that's my shitty AU, I'll add more as time goes on or completely abandoned this idk. When I was thinking about this AU, I was listening to hella Midwestern emo music. And I was like "the brothers would definitely relate to this shit" also never seen a midwestern AU before probably because no one cares.

Shout to the midwest, especially Indiana, we ain't got shit to do here lol

[devondespresso]

This Comfort

T | 4.5k words | ao3 | Stobissy (Platonic stobin x Chrissy) | canon divergent season 4 rewrite, pre-relationship, hurt/comfort, happy ending, weird-as-shit stobin | cws: referenced eating disorder, implied depression, implied suicidal ideation, referenced drugs

happy holidays @stellarspecter !!! hows it feel to be THE reason i like this rarepair so much that i had to hold myself back from trying to do a whole chrissy lives s4 rewrite? I tried to be subtle but i also just HAD to reread your stuff while brainstorming this, hope you like it!!! 💕💕💕

<< betaed by @kikidoesfanfic im so sorry idk how i forgot to credit your help but god you helped so much thank you dhmxhmxngdng

also dividers by @/saradika-graphics >>

Chrissy kind of wants to cry. 

Her body always seems to want to do that at the first hint of peace she can find. In a bathroom stall, at the rotting picnic table behind the school, and now in the basement at Nancy Wheeler’s house, surrounded by still, sleeping bodies. She can’t help but find their presence soothing, even if their warmth doesn’t reach the cold vinyl of her sleeping bag, even if the gentle rhythm of their breathing can’t be heard over the sound of Olivia Newton-John’s voice clogging her ears.

Would the song even work if she got sick of hearing it so much? Can any song keep her safe if she keeps associating music with life-or-death?

Chrissy’s supposed to be sleeping, or supposed to be trying, at least. But she can’t hear the huffs, can’t feel any warmth, can’t even smell over the stench of highschool boy’s body spray— so Chrissy doesn’t try to sleep, even if she has a comparatively easy song to fall asleep to. She just watches, still as if she were out like they are, watching those tiny movements in the bodies around her.

Chests rise and fall slowly, languid unlike any other moment from the day. Some people twitch or stir—just barely—as their bodies dream, hopefully of something far removed from everything that’s happening now. It’s only half the room in her line of sight, but something about watching even just a part of the life around her makes it easier to feel the rest of it there.

It’s nice. Really nice, compared to the past twenty-four hours. And for some twisted reason, that makes tears prick at Chrissy’s eyes.

Her song starts again, a rhythmic melody that had made her sway in her seat the first dozen times she listened to it today. A melody that somehow—even after literal hours of hearing it over and over and over and over and over—still takes her to a time unblemished enough to keep her from letting Vecna end it all.

The beginning instruments all cut off so Olivia can start singing, new instruments coming in to replace them, but they’re not the same. Chrissy swallows, but a tear still falls, tickling her skin down towards her ear before it stops, falling and soaking into the flattened pillow that smells like the same musty body spray as the rest of this cruddy basement.

“Chrissy,” a voice whispers from behind her, said like it isn’t the first time they’ve called, barely audible over her music. Chrissy pushes up slightly, just enough to look behind her, to find Steve sitting up and keeping watch on the couch, leaning towards Chrissy as much as he can with Robin sleeping on his lap. His eyes stay focused on her through the dark, looking maybe for rolled back eyes or waiting for her to start muttering in tongues, but Chrissy only looks back and waits.

“You okay?” he whispers through the dark, again just barely loud enough. Chrissy nods to him, and turns down her music a notch or two.

Steve keeps looking like she never responded. Maybe—hopefully—because it's too dark to see and not because he expects a different answer with enough waiting. Chrissy swallows a lump in her throat, and answers again.

“I'm okay.”

Steve hears her—he has to—but he keeps looking at her that same way. Attentive, and a little on edge.

Chrissy slides one side of her headphones off her ear so she can hear her own whispers.

“I’m fine, I promise.” She says, loud enough that he has to hear her—or believe her—yet still low enough to mask the way her throat tightens around the words.

Steve hums, a soft thing that blends with the sounds of the room, but Chrissy can make it out.

“Come up here.” He whispers, nodding over to the small sliver of couch left next to him, just big enough to fit her. Or, big enough if she were like Robin and could just half-lay on pretty people without feeling electricity seize her body from head to toe. Chrissy opens her mouth to politely decline and save both of them the awkwardness, but Steve picks that moment to look away—look down to Robin—and lift her ever so slightly, ever so gently, to scoot them over and make the space next to him more comfortable.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Chrissy whispers but finds herself getting up anyway, padding over quietly as Steve settles, Robin slumping back down onto his lap without stirring.

“It’s no big deal,” He mutters, a soft smile pulling at his lips, still looking down at Robin, “She sleeps like the dead like this.”

Chrissy hums, and Steve looks up.

“Or– like a baby, I guess is a better word for it right now.”

“It’s fine.” Chrissy insists, taking a seat next to him, settling into the corner with a respectable distance between them– a distance that the rest of her doesn’t seem to pick up on, unfortunately, but respectable at the very least.

Steve hums and watches her, trying to do it subtly out of the corner of his eye, but even just a day around the real Steve is enough for her to know what worry looks like on him.

Fortunately for her, he doesn’t push. And when Chrissy busies herself with getting comfortable in her new couch corner, Steve looks away, absently combing through Robin’s hair as he plays casual.

“Rough sleeping with music always in your ears?” Steve asks, a lightness of humor there that she wishes was the only thing tied to that question.

“Not too bad, actually.” she says, pairing it with a little smile and hoping it’ll convince them both that she’s alright. “Especially out of all the other songs from Grease. The walkman itself is probably more annoying.”

“Yeah, my ears do not envy you there.” Steve huffs, smiling a little, making Chrissy’s smile come a little easier before they both run out of things to say and the levity falls off both their faces. Chrissy’s dropping faster with no eyes on her to keep up the charade for, while Steve’s falls slowly, slips into neutral as he gets caught up in thought once again.

Chrissy gets to keep a few moments to herself before she catches Steve glancing at her again through the corner of her eye. She pretends not to notice, holds her neutrality for a few nauseating seconds before she sighs, closing her eyes and drawing her knees to her chest in a way that turns the subtle glance into full-force attention.

“Do you think…” She starts, but finds the words stopping before they can get out of her head. Does he think she’ll die? Obviously he’s not going to tell her if he does.

“Eh, sometimes.” Steve answers, shrugging lightly in a way that's playful but not flippant enough to derail the conversation.

Chrissy huffs from the tinge of amusement, then tries again.

“Have you wondered what would happen if we got tired of our songs?” 

“Not yet, to be honest. But I figure we’d try to find new ones.” He says, quick enough that it feels like a simple answer to him. But even still he considers it, even if it’s just to show her he’s taking her worries seriously. “I mean, if the whole point is picking a song that reminds you about what’s good in life, I’d figure there’s got to be at least a decent handful of them that’d work.”

Chrissy hums, resting her head onto her knees as she considers. It feels like a simple enough thing, just find songs that remind you of good things, but as she combs through the library in her head, she’s not sure she has as many of those as the others do. Or at the very least, not ones that haven't been sullied by other memories or the things she’s learned since then. Birthday parties with a Chrissy that didn’t think twice about what was in those cakes, sleepovers with girls that had a lot more to say in the halls than they did in their bedrooms. She should count herself lucky that out of all the songs she had loved, she still had one of her favorites.

Though she supposes she should also count herself lucky for even being alive right now. If circumstances were different, she might’ve genuinely felt it.

“To be honest, I’m more worried about how Max doesn’t seem bothered by listening to the same thing nonstop.” Steve chimes in again, that sweet little note of humor back, and though it still makes her smile—truly smile, at both the humor and the intent behind it—it can’t fully lift her out of the headspace she keeps crawling into.

Still Chrissy hums along with him, the sweetness she puts into her voice just as erosive as the added sugars she keeps an eye out for.

“The magic of a really good artist, I guess.”

“Maybe. Though I know I’d still get tired of it no matter who’s voice I’m blasting.” Steve replies, tone light as if he didn’t notice how fake her tone was, and just that thought grants Chrissy an ounce of real levity.

“Even Freddie Mercury.” Chrissy asks with teasing scrutiny.

“I plead the fifth.” Steve smiles mischievously, and when Chrissy raises a suspicious eyebrow at him, he lets out a small but genuine laugh that Chrissy wants to mirror desperately.

Steve hushes himself quickly enough, but Robin still stirs in his lap, groaning and tucking her face down into the denim of Steve’s jeans as if they were somehow comfortable enough to put her back to sleep. But then again, Chrissy figures they don’t have to be, as Steve’s hand finds it’s way back to her hair again, carding his fingers gently and intentionally as Robin stills and soon returns to slow, sedated breathing.

Steve sighs, not tense or aggravated, just restful, like the mood of before was so calm that any change in it counted as disturbance. And then within seconds, he’s back, glancing once over to Chrissy again before looking back at Robin as he continues.

“Rob’s probably the type to be fine listening to most of her music over and over.” He hums, “Not that she needs it. The second she even thought that music might be it she shoved all the tapes she could find into her bag—including our manager’s, actually—”

“Your manager’s?”

“Yeah, Keith’s in for a bit of a surprise soon.” Steve laughs again, “Point is, though,” Steve looks back at her with a new, almost concerning level of sincerity once again veiled as small-talk. “Robin has a pretty good stash of other music in her bag and I’ve got a handful in the glovebox, too, so if you want to pick a couple backups to keep on you…” He shrugs instead of finishing with any extra nod to the favor he’s offering, and Chrissy’s conscience appreciates the discretion.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” she mutters, figuring at the very least that it wouldn’t hurt to look, maybe pick a couple that’d sound nice, even if she doubts anything from after 79’ would spark any good memories, the thought itself is sweet enough to make her sincerely grateful. “Thank you.”

“‘Course. It’s all up to you, just know it's an option.”

Chrissy hums and nods, not really wanting to continue the conversation but also lacking anything else to start talking about next.

Really, she only gets a few seconds to think about it before Steve’s glancing her way again, eyes lingering to study her and somehow sneaking inside towards the softest parts of her, all right under her nose.

“You’re doing good, y’know?” Steve says, quiet as anything else they’ve said tonight, but Chrissy finds it deafening. “This shit sucks… so much. But your still here, still sticking together, still keeping up with the kids—which, believe me, is a feat in of itself.” He huffs to himself, before glancing back to Chrissy with raw compassion. “I know all of it’s… smothering, almost. Too big and too stressful, but you’re doing great, alright? And we’re gonna make it work out.”

He’s lying, obviously, Chrissy hasn’t done jack-shit and Steve just wants to make her feel better– so Chrissy nods—on reflex, almost—because she knows to take a compliment—to take comfort—when it's being given to her. She knows so she nods and tries to just take Steve’s words with a polite smile and a polite nod but–

Her eyes water and tears fall too fast, too many goddamned tears coming and spillingout and she tries—God, she tries— to keep them back and to smile and show him it worked, shes good now, thank you—but she’s failing, failing miserably, so she falls back on breathing– breathing normally and praying he can’t see her crying through the dark–

“Chrissy, I mean it.” Steve says, with the softness of sincerity that—regardless of whether she believes him or not—breaks through the last of her defenses, letting a small, pitiful sound choke its way out of her throat.

“Chris–”

Chrissy stands—giving up on looking okay in favor of being quiet—and wipes her face, looking around for the bathroom door that Nancy said would be down here.

“Chrissy, hey–” Steve whispers, a hand finding her arm gently—not grabbing, just touching—and while it tempts her so heavily, instinct leads her away.

“It’s fine– don’t wake Robin–” Chrissy chokes on her own words and aborts, going towards the bathroom, ignoring Steve trying to whisper-call after her, ignoring how he whispers to himself before the couch squeaks, ignoring his footsteps coming up until they’re right behind her– and Chrissy stops and flings around and–

Turning catches Steve off guard—enough to stop him a foot or so away—and makes him retract an outstretched arm.

“Chrissy, it’s okay.” Steve insists, struggling for words to say next and doing nothing to keep it from taking over his face. “Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–”

“Stop.” Chrissy says– tries to say, even though it comes out wet and weak and crackly– “You’re fine, I promise–”

It doesn’t sound final but it’s all Chrissy can get out—is all that she really needs to. Tears keep coming like she’s a broken faucet and Steve’s still standing there—already knows she’s crying and isn’t going to ignore it—so she just covers her face with her hands, cold fingers cooling unruly flames of embarrassment, and tries catching her breath.

“Wha’s…?” 

Chrissy doesn’t try to recognise the voice, just jolts up at the new sound and finds Robin up and walking towards them, going slow and rubbing her face like a rough morning.

“Rob, now’s not–”

“Are you crying?” Robin says as she drops her hand and gets a barely decent look at Chrissy, voice sounding suddenly wide awake, face skipping confusion and going straight to concern as she turns to check Steve next, “Are you– no, no you're– ok, good, so–” She turns back to Chrissy within another blink. “Are you okay? Or– no, stupid question.”

“No,” Chrissy says, but then Robin’s eyes flash with guilt, “No, no, I– not stupid question, I’m okay, I promise, I–”

“That’s debatable.” Steve interrupts, as kindly as he probably can.

“I am.” Chrissy says before heaving a massive breath and pushing her hands across her face again, all to get herself in any way capable of explaining, “It’s not your fault– or yours, or anyones! I’m not mad or sad or upset or anything– I’m just crying!” Chrissy pauses for another breath, then finishes—with more control than before— “Just crying. And crying in front of people is embarrassing, so…”

Steve and Robin both stay silent, gears turning trying to figure out what to say or do next, and while Chrissy does feel a little bad, a small part of her says they were asking for it.

“I cry a lot.” Robin says, in what seems like a reflex at first, but she keeps going even after she seems to realize what she’s saying, “I cry all the time, like, constantly– or not actually really that frequently but when I do it’s like an absolute behemoth amount of crying, and I love crying– or well, maybe not– no actually I do, if I need to cry then I love to cry, just get it all out, y’know? And this whole thing—the end-of-the-world monster crisis thing—is like a really good reason to need to cry, the most understandable reason to cry—even Steve's cried about it!” 

“Yes!” Steve confirms immediately, like he either somehow forgot or the detail didn't occur to him.

“And last time– okay I didn't really cry during it much last time because it felt like there was so much going on like all the time but the second we got Steve a hospital room and I could sit down next to him, I started bawling, like really ugly snotty sobbing, and I cried for, like, three hours straight and one of the nurses kept bringing me water so I wouldn't dehydrate and die because I actually could not stop crying and I didn’t even feel that sad, y’know? I had been way more upset in the middle of the whole thing but I didn’t cry once—”

“Just peed your pants a little.” Steve mutters, catching Chrissy off-guard and making Robin fling immediately over to wack his arm.

“You–” Robin says, pointing at him and scrambling for words, “And you shit your pants twenty minutes in!”

“I what?” Steve whisper-laughs, bordering on a dangerous volume again.

“Yeah, you shit yourself and you smelled so bad–” Robin starts breaking into giggles and struggling to keep her volume down, so Steve somehow decides that covering her mouth with his hand would help. It does, kinda, in that it muffles her laughs until she gets them under control and starts swatting him away.

They collect themselves together, clearly trying to keep attuned to Chrissy without directing the full force of attention on her, but as they both try to manage each other’s clumsiness Chrissy feels the pressure of conversation ease and is just left with Robin’s words and the care that both of them were trying to show. Chrissy wipes her face even though new tears still fall, and steels herself with another breath that finally comes easier than the last.

“Robin.” Chrissy says.

Robin stops, and before Chrissy can chicken out she dives forward and takes Robin into a hug.

Robin’s clearly caught off guard but recovers quickly and wraps her arms around Chrissy tight, leaning in with a cheek pressed into her hair, holding her immediately. Chrissy sobs a little for no good reason but Robin doesn’t let go, doesn’t ask again, just keeps holding on.

Instead of waiting ages for her tears to stop, Chrissy just lets go when her crying quiets down and she no longer feels the need to hide from the people holding her. Chrissy loosens her grip and Robin lets go right after, leaning back to check on her, breaking into a sweet, lopsided grin.

Another hand falls carefully onto her back, and when Chrissy turns around and finds Steve still there quietly trying to check in too, Chrissy lunges forward a second time. Steve holds her tight like Robin did– possibly even tighter as his shoulders curl around her frame, like she’s being tucked inside his chest, safe away from harm.

Chrissy kind of hates pulling away, but by the way both Steve and Robin stay close after letting go, Chrissy gets the feeling that it won’t be hard to get more of that affection from them.

“You ready to go back to the couch?” Robin asks.

Chrissy nods.

“Awesome,” Robin says, taking her hand and leading the way back eagerly, “Cause, like, I don’t know about you but I would love to be sleeping right now– and I don’t regret waking up, obviously, totally a good reason to wake up, I just also love getting a full night’s sleep–”

“Aw, poor Robin, not being asleep right now.” Steve teases, getting quieter as they get to the couch but still being loud enough to annoy Robin.

“Aw, poor Stevie, was already awake when things started happening and only had to wake up once in the middle of the night.” Robin whines back, taking a spot in the corner of the couch and pulling Chrissy down to sit with her.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re so funny, Robbie.” Steve smiles, not making a move to sit down with them. “Where’d you put your bag?”

“Why?”

“Wanna look at the tapes you have.”

“Steve, you don’t have to.” Chrissy 

“‘Don’t know what you’re talking about, I just want to listen to– uh… Bowie. Obviously.”

Chrissy huffs, torn between the guilt of a favor and a rush of amusement, but couldn’t help but play along.

“And not your manager’s stellar music taste?”

“Steve!” Robin hissed, “You told her?”

“Yeah, what’s she gonna do? Keith’s gonna know.”

“We don’t know for sure!”

“Yeah we do, his walkman’s basically glued to him.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Not with you cause he likes you, but on a Tuesday close with me and I’d be lucky if he heard me dying.”

“Oh, I think he hears you just fine.” Robin laughs.

Steve sighs with a quick eye-roll before gesturing back to the room.

“Bag. Where?”

“Behind the trunk under the staircase.” 

Steve looks at her incredulously but goes to find it, repeating her interesting choice of hiding place under his breath as he goes.

“Did something happen to your other tape?” Robin asks, turning and hitting her with the full force of her concern—and while Chrissy appreciates it, a lot, she needs to look away to relieve some of the pressure and calm some of the heat that hits her cheeks.

“No, no, it’s working fine, I just, uh… was worried I was going to get sick of listening to it all the time.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Robin nods and the intensity of her worry lessens considerably, replaced instead by an almost frantic kind of ramble, “Good as in, like, y’know, that it’s not broken and you’re just being extra cautious, I mean–”

“Yeah, it’s good.” Chrissy smiles, cherishing the way Robin smiles with relief as she realizes she’s being understood.

Robin’s eyes flick slightly to something behind Chrissy so she turns around, catching Steve as he gives a note to a recently awoken Nancy Wheeler and starts finding his way back to the couch around the minefield of sleeping teenagers on the floor. He stops right in front of the couch—in front of Chrissy—and kneels down to open the bag between them for her to see.

“Let Nance know about the new plan.” He mutters, probably softer than he has to, “If by some chance something does happen, she’ll know to try your old tape first.”

Chrissy looks up at his eyes for a moment before turning them down into the bag, impressively full of cassettes, some loose, some in their cases, but almost all of them well-loved. Chrissy reaches in and starts looking through the ones on top, some obviously Steve’s, some obviously Robin’s, some probably Keith’s, and a good many that have to be for both of them. She searches through them blankly for a few minutes before Steve and Robin try helping with suggestions.

“I think some of The Go-Go’s are in there.”

“Steve had ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’.”

“There’s definitely some Cyndi Lauper.”

“What was your old song again?” Robin asks.

“‘Hopelessly Devoted To You’. From Grease.”

Robin hums and stares into the bag. After a second, she starts picking handfuls of them out, picking each one intentionally but still grabbing more than enough for Chrissy to choose from until one catches her eye.

“Wait, wait, wait–”

Robin freezes, looking back to Chrissy with her arms still shoved in her bag, unmoving. Chrissy reaches over and picks up a tape that had already made it to Robin’s lap: a standard-looking cassette without its case and a couple of attempts at hearts drawn on it. It wasn’t the only cassette to have cute drawings—far from it—but it was the first one she saw with wonky hearts scribbled out then copied right next to it, like someone tried, failed, and then was told to bring their failure back instead of hiding it away.

She checks the other side. “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper.

“Steve gave that to me ages ago.” Robin hums, and Chrissy smiles, looking over at the other cassettes with little drawings on them.

“Was it the first one?”

“Second, technically, didn’t draw on Total Eclipse of the Heart until later.”

Chrissy nods, then looks up to Robin again.

“Would you mind…?”

“Oh, yeah, totally. I mean go for it. Worst case scenario: I’m still in touch with my dealer.” Robin jokes, making Steve snort as he stands and drops the bag over by the end of the couch.

Robin gets comfortable as Chrissy goes ahead and switches the tapes in her walkman, going to set her old one on a table nearby. When she turns back around, Robin is laying down on the couch, making grabby hands up towards Steve until he finishes his headcount and turns back around.

“What?” He laughs.

“Get over here, it’s my turn to be big.”

“Hm, if I have to.” Steve laughs and goes to settle with her before pausing and looking back over to Chrissy.

“You want on the couch, too?”

Chrissy goes over towards them and Steve smiles, taking that as her answer.

“We can leave you a spot if you want, or…”

Chrissy flushes but pointedly doesn’t take the offer for the separate spot on the couch, and luckily, Steve and Robin both figure out the answer without her having to say it.

Robin lays on her back half-propped up while Steve basically lays on top of her, spooning but with the little spoon on the verge of crushing the big spoon, but they seem more than content with it, Robin hugging Steve almost like a teddy bear. Steve gives Chrissy the go-ahead, so with her walkman in hand, she carefully takes the spot between him and the back of the couch. She brings the headphones up to her ears just as an arm comes around her back, the new melody fitting the new warmth she’s feeling deep down perfectly.

Chrissy lets one of her hands find Robin’s above her across the polo shirt pillow connecting them. Both the bodies laying with her relax, shifting slightly to get comfortable in their strange arrangement on the cramped couch, but the one thing that stays perfectly consistent is the slow rise and fall beneath her, the feather-light puffs tickling her hair, and the warmth of life enveloping her.

Chrissy knows it’s not perfect. The next few days will be far, far from kind to them. She knows that even when she wakes from this nightmare, she’ll just be stuck right back where she was before, working her ass off at cheer practice during the day and then begging their drug dealer for ketamine at night. The thought will probably never leave her mind.

But right now, Chrissy enjoys the new music playing in her ears, the familiar song with a man and a woman’s voices that feel uniquely alive right now, warm and safe and real.

If you’re lost,

You can look

And you will find me,

Time after time.

If you fall, 

I will catch you.

I’ll be waiting,

Time after time.

Chrissy falls asleep. No dreams, no Vecna, just sleep.

[starillusion13]

TRUST ME NOT

Pairing: Bf!(boss unit except one) x f!reader

W.C: 9.1k

Genre: Fluff, Mafia, Angst

Warnings: keeping secrets, innocent reader(?), mafia deals, murder, blast, tracking device, spying on someone, anonymous mail, tying up with rope in basement, unconcious, feeling sorry, sad, regrets, forgiveness, lots of kissing, anniversary surprises lol, getting shot, mention of blood(not detail) idk what to add anymore

1 month late birthday gift to @mymoodwriting sorry🥀

Network: @kvanity-main

🎀 Your anniversary was supposed to be held in a month.

The excitement was brightly visible on your face and you had a lot of arrangements to make. Going out to different stores and contacting some very important people who all are of potential help in some urgent scenarios. It's been five years since you were in a relationship with the mafia gang, NCT. Yeah, some people won't believe you if you say that you are the secret girlfriend, because your appearance and attitude is far from the ruthless behavior of the bosses--- your boyfriends.

The first one to notice that you were busy was Jungwoo, as he is the one who doesn't go out of the house often. His hacking job lets you both to spend more time with each other and well, this makes him throw cocky looks to others. You have told him repeatedly not to tease others because of that, but who is he to listen to?

You have almost planned everything for the upcoming day, obviously keeping it a secret from them. And this made Jungwoo suspicious of you. Earlier he was ignoring your weird attitudes and your now and then excuses to go out but one day when you were out for a long time, he followed your location. Well, he tried to but he couldn't track it.

How the hell is that even possible?

Now, he can't obviously charge you for messing up with the tracking device as you aren't aware of any of these. So, he decided to talk this out with his gang members.

"Are you sure of the suspicion?" Taeyong asked with a dark look. He was already tired with the day and now one of his members is sitting in front of him with a doubt. He glanced at the rest of the members across the room but they all were pretty much similar attentive to the hacker like him. He sighed and urged him to speak more.

The hacker nodded and proceeded, "she is acting differently and when I asked her last week. She was in a hurry to reply as if she would spill secrets if she spoke more than necessary."

"Maybe she is tired. You know her café has a lot of work." Mark stated and Jaehyun nodded his head in agreement. They know very well how dedicated you are to your work and something that might be keeping you busy these days.

Jungwoo shook his head, "No. The surprising fact is that she is barely available at the cafe."

"Then where is she going every morning?" Winwin asked and glanced at him from the corner of the room. And this caught everyone's attention.

Jaehyun remembered his interaction with you from two days back over the call.

"When I asked to pick her up from the cafe, she denied and told me about having extra hours but ended up coming home by riding someone else's car. As far as I know no one from her cafe owns that car." he stated and looked around.

"What? And you are telling me now?" Taeyong banged the table with his fist making the ones sitting near to him to flinch. Doyoung licked his lower lips and ran his fingers through the hairs. He was still putting in the pieces together and hoping that whatever they were thinking should not be the actual case.

Are you hiding something from them?

Or are you planning for something to destroy them?

Mark put his phone beside him on the sofa, "Dude, don't think like that. We must be wrong somewhere. Don't doubt her for anything."

"You are not suspecting her for anything right?" Winwin looked at his leader expectantly who in return just poked his cheek with the tongue and turned towards Doyoung.

"Tell everyone to keep a closer look on her." he said and looked at everyone, "all of you will see what's the matter with her. If she is not going to the cafe and not talking with us that much. Then we should find out what's the matter that she is suddenly acting so differently."

"But-"

"Mark, don't argue with me now."

No one spoke anything after that. Four of them left the room, leaving the leader with Doyoung. The latter's eyes followed how frustratingly the leader was brushing his hairs back and sighing.

"I know, you are not doubting her like the way you are showing your anger."

The leader rested his elbows on the table and held his head with his palms, "I don't want to blame her for anything. I trust her so much but I want to know what's up with her. I love her so much, Doyoung."

Doyoung walked towards him and patted his back comfortingly, "we all love her, Taeyong. If she ever betrays us then nothing can hurt us more than that."

"I don't want to hurt her. She is precious to me. I want all these to be just a misunderstanding."

"She is not betraying us. We will just find out what's the matter with her and then everything will be fine."

The latter just nodded and tears fell from his eyes similarly like the one standing.

.

.

"Where are you going?" Jungwoo asked as he saw you hurrying towards the door. You were smiling all the way down the stairs while looking at the phone. His eyes were staring at you with curiosity and adoration. When he repeated the question again, you glanced at him away from your phone and raised your brows.

"Uh..I..somewhere...do you need something?"

"No. But where? Do you want me to go with you?"

"No!".

He was taken aback by your sudden scream, "what? Why are you shouting?"

You awkwardly laughed and brushed your hairs, "I'll be off to the place and will return quickly. Don't worry."

As soon as you took a turn, someone grabbed your forearm and made you turn around. The turn was so sudden that you almost lost your balance on your heels, "What the hell! Jaehyun?"

"It's late afternoon. I don't think you are going to the cafe right now. Your workers told me that you will be there in the evening. So where to now?" His tone was low and demanding.

His grip was firm and you glanced at the hold then at his face. He had just showered after returning home. The others were not there yet and these two were only at the house so you decided to leave without them noticing you but it's not the case now.

"Hey, I'm just going to meet someone." you smiled at the end of the sentence.

"Who? Let me take you there."

You held his wrist to take off his hand from yours, "No, it's okay. I can go there alone. He will be just a few blocks away and......and then everything is fine."

"he? Y/n, who is this person? Do I know him? Have any of us seen him before?"

"Oh my jealous baby, Jae. Come on, don't think like I am a child. And you don't have to know everyone."

He stepped closer to you, tugging your hairs behind your ears before holding your hands and smiling down at you with a soft look, "I just care for you too much, Y/n. I don't want anyone to hurt you. Please be safe out there as you know your life is always at risk because of us...and dont hide anything from us."

You couldn't hear the last words but you smiled at him, "I will be safe. I promise."

He leaned forward to peck your lips and then planted a soft kiss on your temple. Jungwoo came up behind you and hugged you, nuzzling his nose in your neck inhaling the recently applied perfume, you smiled at the tingling sensation. He whispered, "if you can't keep yourself safe. Then I will kill everyone who will hurt you."

You grabbed one of his hands and brought it to your lips, planting a kiss, "I know. I am always safe with you all."

.

.

.

You were safe. Your preparations and secrets, everything was safe. Only two weeks left and you couldn't contain your excitement. Skipping steps towards the flower shop, you were greeted by the familiar man holding a rose in his hold and smiling endearingly at you. Your smile widened brightly and a soft laugh escaped your throat when he kneeled down in front of you, "A rose for my queen." He extended his hand towards you and you took the flower from his hand.

"Oh please shut up, Wooyoung."

He again stood in front of you and smoothed his blazer and pants. The look was stating that he was on his way for the meeting but still his playful nature and his childish laugh was not setting right with his appearance.

"Why? I can call you anything."

"Just wait until I tell this to my boyfriend." you chuckled while looking around the flower shop, "Where is the owner?"

You never used your boyfriend's name in front of anyone, always referring to some silly names or simply 'my boyfriend'. No one has ever seen your so-called boyfriend but they know you always have the adoration while speaking of him—- of them.

"I don't know about him. Hey! Why are you asking for the owner when I'm here?" He whined and you shook your head in disbelief with the attitude.

"How old are you? And I need him to choose some exact flowers for the decoration and a perfect perfume to give my boyfriend." you smiled at the thought of surprising them with everything. He nodded with a pout and stood by your side while you were staring at some beautiful bouquets, "Is your boyfriend nice? You can tell me if you have any problems. You have said he lives outside this country but if he turns out as a cheater. I will show him hell."

"Of course, Wooyuong. There's nothing to worry about. I am fine and he is a very nice man. Maybe someday you can meet him and also, I'm doing all these preparations for our anniversary."

The owner just entered the door and greeted you both when the other one smiled at you before exiting the door.

.

.

.

One week left for your anniversary.

"So, I was right. She is going to this shop almost every day and according to Winwin, our enemy's last location was this shop."

They couldn't believe the pictures and the tracking location of the devices that were showing on the very big screen displayed in front of them. The undercover spy has clicked the pictures of you meeting with a young man well dressed up in a suit and you were hugging him with a smile, also in another picture, you were receiving flowers. The different gestures between you both were assuming that there was a deeper bonding than they can think of. Everything was pretty much fine until the call list and tracking device of yours and their enemy matches exactly.

"Jungwoo, have you gone to this shop before?" Taeyong asked when he placed himself on the sofa.

The hacker shook his head, "no, I never bought anything from there. I thought she knew the owner of the shop, that's why she is going there but it turned out she is meeting the owner of the device who is apparently our enemy. We need to find who is the owner. Winwin even followed her one day and guess what? They were planning for a big event and also went on a date."

"A date?" Mark had a confused look on his face.

Jungwoo nodded and Jaehyun continued, "yeah, she is meeting these certain people every often and that's why you can't find her in the cafe. And this one person is very common."

"That's Wooyoung, a member of the gang, Ateez. the shop owner is his best friend, just for cover." Winwin started from beside Doyoung who quickly turned towards him in surprise.

Taeyong scoffed in irritation, "So that's him? He blew our basement? I was so sure that somebody leaked our plan when we were having the mission in a different state and look, he took that advantage to attack on our base."

"And you think?" Doyoung raised a brow.

"She...she told him?" Taeyong didn't even want to say it but still he did. He blamed you. He doubted you. There was no other option left other than suspecting you with their recent events going on around them. He curled his fingers into a fist, suppressing the anger and hurt.

Mark leaned back into his chair, "we must be wrong somewhere. Or things have not been placed in the correct way."

"No. When I told Jungwoo for the first time, neither me nor him believed this but after one week of research. We are sure that she is involved with this." Winwin himself didn't want to believe what he was voicing out.

His own voice was betraying him. Was your love for them just a facade to destroy them in the end? Were you playing with their feelings? What? NO! This can't be, you are not like that. He couldn't convince anyone, maybe he was not even trying to convince anyone. No one was ready to believe that you were planning something worse behind their back, just to destroy them to get in with a man. The man who is apparently their enemy's gang member.

Mark stood up. A sad look visible on his face, fighting back the urge to cry in front of them. He couldn't hear more about suspecting you. Even if you are wrong, he still wants to see you and love you. His gaze shifted from the leader towards the large wide window, the setting of the sun was visible, "our anniversary is in almost 10 days. I hope we won't be doing something to ruin the day."

The words hit them altogether. Anniversary...they have bought a lot of gifts for you and they have arranged a trip for all of you to spend time together.

He turned around and Taeyong closed his eyes, heaving a sigh. Everyone was in disbelief and fighting whether they should blame you or...or what? There's nothing to think about anymore.

"Hey!  you all here?" your cheerful voice broke the silence. The atmosphere was already tense inside the house but your presence was making it worse. To your oblivion, they shared glances between them when Jaehyun noticed some things in your hold. His jaw clenched at the sight and he stepped towards you.

"Who gave you this?"

You furrowed your brows before looking down and then a smile cracked on your face. Everyone noticed the shift in expression when you held the flowers tightly, "Um...someone. A friend?"

"Friend." he scoffed and glared at you. His expression surprised you and then when you looked around the room, you noticed others were looking at you with no emotions visible. It felt so distant as if you were missing something. But what's even the matter? Mark was standing on the first step of the stairs, when you caught his eyes, there was a hurt look— the look of betrayal.

"Mark-" the young boy didn't wait to hear you when he abruptly turned around and ascended the stairs, without even looking back at you. What happened?

"Where were you?" Doyoung asked with folded hands above his chest, supporting himself against the table. His dark and sharp eyes staring at you, waiting for a quick reply.

"I...I went to the cafe."

"You were not there. Don't lie. Just tell me exactly, where were you?"

Taeyong darkly chuckled, "of course to meet her friend. Right? So, had fun on the date?"

"Date?"

Jaehyun turned to him, "don't pretend that you don't know. You went on a date with your little friend, right?"

You shook your head when Jungwoo pointed at your large plastic bag, "what's all these?"

You tried to hide it behind your back only to get yanked away, "why are you hiding it?" He glared at your action.

"What's wrong with you all?"

"What's wrong with you? Are you planning something behind our back?" His words hurt you. No, it shocked you. Are they doubting you for something?

The phone in your pocket started ringing and when Jaehyun didn't loosen his grip on you, you snatched your arm away and glared at him. Fishing out the phone, you held it to your ear and greeted the person. Before walking towards your room, you snatched away the plastic bag from him and no one protested but watched you going away.

No one moved from their places but only Winwin followed you behind.

.

.

.

Three days have already passed since that day.

You didn't talk with anyone normally. Everytime, they would be looking at you accusingly or asking you some weird questions about why you were hiding things from them.

but , there was nothing to hide in the first place---- except for the celebration.

Only one week left and when you just wanted to go out finally to arrange the last things of the preparation. Doyoung blocked your way.

"You are not going anywhere."

"Huh?"

Jaehyun came up behind you and harshly pulled you to a particular direction, "your game is over, y/n. Just give up now. You can't hide anything from us now."

The other one walked just closely behind you, gun in his hand. "I can't believe you that after the things we did, only for you to betray us."

"Please Jaehyun...Trust me. you must be wrong somewhere. I am not hiding anything. I promise." Your voice was broken yet he was not glancing at you but dragging you towards the stairs. The grip on your wrist tightened when you tried to pull your hand away. The wrist was burning from his harsh grip.

There were two uncoordinated footsteps from behind you both and when the youngest of them spoke up, you glanced at them. Mark was trying to stop the leader from stepping forward but the latter was just fuming and when he caught your glistening eyes, he sent a glare at you.

"please..." you whimpered when he took the turn and stopped at the first step of the stairs. He inhaled sharply and glared at you before glancing at the leader.

"take her downstairs." He simply ordered and the latter nodded.

Mark held Jaehyun's other hand, "No. Don't. Please, we should listen to her. We must be wrong somewhere. Please don't take her there."

But he dragged you down, stumbling over a few places but he didn't care. No one cared at the moment. As if your voice was not even audible to their ears.

You have never been to this place before and the dark, dimly lit room with a damp smell was making churn in your stomach. The others were already present inside the room and their focus was on you— the helpless figure. He harshly pulled you towards the chair behind the interrogating desk and made you sit on it. Your head turned towards each one of them, no one was having any sympathy for you. Maybe they had but trying not to show it.

"Why are you doing this? Please get me out of here." tears were flowing down your cheek. Before you could wipe off your tears, Jungwoo gripped your wrist and tied them to the armrest. Winwin took away the phone from you and placed it on the table. Taeyong placed himself on the chair across from you and stared at your tied up form. Doyoung stood beside him, palm resting on the head of the leather chair.

"So, from where should we begin?"

You remained quiet. Not because you didn't want to talk but because you didn't know what to say. Mind still processing the situation and why they all were keeping you tied up like a criminal. Do they not trust you?

You stared at him with silent tears falling from your eyes. Jaehyun and Jungwoo stood beside you on both sides, neither of them speaking anything and not even looking at you. Only glancing now and then.

"How do you know Wooyoung?" the leader asked the first question and leaned forward on the table.

"Wooyoung?"

Doyoung tilted his head to the side, "yes. Even that day he gave you those flowers. Having good times with the enemy. Right, y/n?"

"Enemy? He is my old friend from university."

The leader was not buying your words, "our enemy is your friend now. Since when are you against us?"

"What are you saying, Taeyong? I would never. I..." you were almost spilling the secrets but held back the words that were about to come out from your lips, "we just recently reunited at the flower shop. He was just...helping me out with something."

"Helping you out to chalk out a plan to kill us?" Winwin offered you an option for your choice of words. You shook your head at him and returned to face the leader. He didn't have any emotions for you. No more those endearing smiles and caring eyes looking at you but a strong and accusing eyes blaming you for everything.

"No, it's not like that."

"There's no point in you lying on our face. You can't fight back, y/n. There's six of us and only, you alone."

You parted your lips and tried to shift forward when Jungwoo held you back. You raised your head to look at him but he just avoided your eyes. Does he hate me so much?  "You all should understand this. I am alone, I can't do anything to harm you all and... I can never think of hurting any of you."

"Don't pretend to be the innocent one like always." Jaehyun spat at you. "It was all a facade to make us trust you. To make us weak for you so that you can easily break into our life and destroy us from the core."

"Jaehyun..." you whispered his name but a long silence followed your longing gaze on him. How could he blame you like this? They never used such a tone with you.

"He is correct. It was only you who knew about our absence for a whole week from the city and during that exact time, Ateez attacked our warehouse. Isn't this a coordinated plan?" Taeyong was irritated with each word coming out of his mouth.

"And you think I told him?"

Winwin caught your attention, "of course. The enemy whom we were tracking has his every location around you. His every location was colliding with yours. The flower shop belongs to them and it's just undercover to hide their spies in that busy street. Your activity was very frequent during the time of the blast."

"It must be a coincidence...I am not aware of all these." you plead to them for mercy but none of them were convinced. It all seemed as an act to break away from them and to run to their enemy for help.

"We thought that too but you have a deep connection with him. Even keeping your meet-ups a secret from us. Don't think of us like fools."

"Mark, you are a fool. All of you are foolish to think of me going against you. He is just my friend and we were just hanging out after some arrangements and if I knew he was the menber of a gang, I would never have spoken to him. But...but he won't hurt me or any of you. He doesn't even know you all are my boyfriends."

"Because for your benefit. So that you can go on dates with him." Jaehyun scoffed at the end of the sentence.

Taeyong slammed his hand to gain your attention back on him. His eyes were raging and he was fuming with anger. You flinched at the sound and scaredly turned towards him when he spoke up, "Now tell me, what do you want from us?"

You shook your head and bit your lips to prevent yourself breaking down more.

"I said speak up, y/n!"

Your broken voice and hiccups echoed the room, "I...I want n-nothing. I just want......your love."

"Shut up!"

"Jaehyun, keep quiet." Doyoung shushed the tall man beside you but you were already hurt too much. You were exhausted after crying so much, the unfamiliar and confined environment was suffocating you. You just wanted to get out of the place and run away, far away and hide from them. You were scared to say anything anymore or they could have done something more.

"You are going to stay here unless you are willing to tell the truth." Taeyong said and stood up to turn towards the door.

You shook your head frantically to not to leave you there. But no one minded your scared form. You were nothing more than a liar to them.

"Please listen to me..."

Jaehyun grabbed your cheeks, his fingers digging into your flesh, "you are only going to speak the truth or else shut your mouth." he harshly jerked your head to the side.

One by one everyone left the room except the one who was almost standing silently since he came here. He stayed back inside the room. When you noticed his gaze on you, there was a hurt look like that day.

"Why did you do this?"

"I did nothing."

He looked up at the ceiling and then at you, "then please confess the truth. I can't see you like this."

"I'm telling you the truth, Mark. he is just my friend. I didn't help him with anything."

Doyoung came back to the room to find the younger one standing at the door. He informed the younger one to stay with you, not to leave you alone down in the basement. He nodded his head in acceptance. You don’t know if It was because they told him to stay behind out of love or they think you could try to run away from them.

Mark actually wanted to stay with you though. He just can't leave you alone.

Doyoung stepped inside the room to take the phone from the table. When he came in sight of your vision, you looked away to avoid him. He waited for a moment but left the room eventually when you didn't look at him.

"Mark, don't get swayed by her?"

They had some whispering conversation outside the door and you zoned out to think about the day, how you were so excited to finally wrap the different gifts for them and then prepare the last arrangement because this last week was supposed to be spending time with them together. But everything went down the hill.

When Mark returned inside the room, he saw you sleeping on the chair uncomfortably. He stepped forward and tugged your hairs behind the ears to have a clear look of your face. You looked so peaceful but your face was stained with sweat and tears. He caressed your soft skin and tears fell from his eyes, he was sorry to you. He untied your wrists and pulled you on his lap on the floor. Resting your head against his chest, his fingers stroked you and he lulled you to sleep.

"I'm sorry, y/n."

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.

.

The next two days were just you refusing all the foods they offered and you were getting weak. Even if they didn't hurt you physically, but their words, their hatred looks and their harsh and hurtful touches with their accusing tone was enough to break your every inch.

Doyoung didn't let you stay in the basement but kept you locked in his room. He promised his leader that he won't let you escape the house.

Just before the two days of your anniversary, they got an email from someone. It was labeled with a secret code so when they clicked on it, they found out that it was from someone unknown. They have sent some confidential documents. Jungwoo didn't waste any time before clicking open it only to get a shock. Everyone scooted closer to him.

'How is Y/n? Suspecting her now? Oh, poor girl. Don't worry. I will kill her soon anyways. '

There were all the details under the small links. Whatever they saw was right but the actual explanation to their assumption was what you were saying, not how they interpreted earlier. Wooyoung was just your friend, nothing more and he didn't have any intention to harm you or others. Ateez didn't even attack their base.

Then who is this person?

Is he alive?

Jaehyun threw the glass away in frustration.

"Where is this shit? I will kill him."

Winwin quickly followed some images, "the dreamies are trying to track the id. Hyuck is currently scanning the codes. but... I don't know why this person wants to kill her."

"I'm not leaving her alone for any more second."

Doyoung jogged towards the room only to find you sleeping beside the window stool. Taeyong followed him closely behind and he noticed the dried tears on your face and the other one was quick to pick you up in his arms, "y/n, look at me. You don't have to be here anymore. I'm taking you out of this place. I'm so sorry."

Your breathing was so faint and it scared him.

He peppered your face with kisses, you were so weak and exhausted. There was no reply from you and he shook your body again.

"She must be unconscious. Let's clean her up and let her rest for a while. When she wakes up, I will feed her." Taeyong offered him.

They both nodded and exited the room. Promising to themselves that they won't ever let you be in this sort of situation again.

When they appeared in front of the others, they saw your unconscious body in his hold. Their hearts clenched at the sight, the pain striking through their body.

How could they just blame you and act deaf ears to your pleadings?

"I'm coming with you." Mark approached him and took you in his arms before going towards his room with Doyoung trailing behind him.

Taeyong ordered Jungwoo and Winwin to contact Dreamies for further discussions about the situation and let others disperse to their respective activities.

No one was willing to leave your side but they had no option other than waiting for you to get consciousness. But Jaehyun quietly walked towards your room to take a glimpse of you.

He was hesitating to enter the room but eventually stepped inside and found them inside the bathroom. They were carefully looking after you.

"Is she okay?"

His sudden voice made the two males turn their head towards him, "of course she is. We are here to keep her safe."

After a while, you were dressed in a pair of comfortable top and loose pants. Mark carefully tugged you in the bed before sitting beside your sleeping figure and caressing the hairs, Doyoung sat near your legs and Jaehyun kept his distance from the bed.

"Let her rest for a while. Taeyong will bring her the food."

They all left the room but Jaehyun went near to you and caressed your head, kissing your temple he whispered, “I’m so sorry, love.”

After a while when you woke up, only to find Taeyong sitting by your side with medicines and food placed on the table that he pulled beside the bed. Your head was spinning a bit but still he helped you sit up and placed the pillow behind you to make you comfortable. Before you could say anything, he caressed your head and smiled at you, following a kiss to the side of your head.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I was so wrong about you."

You remained quiet and just observed how he lifted the bowl from the table and stirred the soup, tasting a spoonful and turning towards you with a spoon.

"Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"y-you are not mad at me anymore? Please trust me-"

He put the spoon back into the bowl and placed a finger on your lips, "I trust you. Y/n, I love you. I'm regretting treating you like that. It hurts you a lot to see us blaming you for something you didn't do. But I promise you, you will never have to be like this again. I will make this up to you."

"Really? And others...Are they?"

"they are equally sorry, y/n. we just couldn't help but think all that......why were you at the shop though?" he quickly asked you the thing that was still bugging his mind.

"Um...you will know soon. It's a secret." You expectantly stared at him to see his reaction but he just smiled when he brought the spoon to your lips. You quickly parted open your lips to taste the spoon and hummed in the wonderful warm taste. It melted on your tongue like you were melting under his touch.

"I won't ever hurt you."

"I know, Taeyong. You have so much responsibility but I think I made you scared going out here and there. But trust me it's a good secret, nothing to worry about."

"Can't you tell me now?" he pouted and blinked at you.

"No. Then what's the point of the secret?"

"Is this about-"

Someone entered the room and he was quick to sit on your other side and hugged you from the side.

"I'm so sorry baby. Please forgive me. I don't want you to stay away from me." he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck and your fingers entangled with his hairs when he leaned to your body more. Taeyong was still making sure to finish the soup and shook his head at the boy clinging onto you.

"Hey, Mark. It's okay. I was just shocked with you all behaving like that." You said slowly and he nodded, muttering a flow of apologies. The leader wiped your mouth when you finished the food and handed you the medicine to take but when you refused it. Both of them tickled you and joked around and ended up with Mark holding you down on the bed and the oldest one putting inside the medicine and handing you the glass.

Three of you spent some time together before Taeyong left when he caught a call from Jungwoo and he hugged you before pressing a long and soft kiss on your temple then hurrying to take the call. Where you and Mark ended up cuddling together.

"That night..." he was spooning you while your back was pressed against his chest and his one leg was flung upon yours. His fingers were playing with yours when you both were watching the screen displaying a movie.

You hummed in response, "you made me sleep on your lap. I woke up from a nightmare but I felt so secure with you. Thank you."

"I love you. I love you so much baby."

"I love you more, mark." You turned around and cupped his face. Your eyes searched for a particular emotion before pressing your lips to his. He was surprised by your move but when you tried to pull away your face, he held the back of your neck and pulled you closer, making the kiss rough and passionate. Both fighting for dominance but still enjoying the power of each other. You smiled and squirmed when he slid his hand under your tee. His kisses traveled down to your jaw and sloppily kissed your cheek. Admiringly, watching each other, he dipped his head down and bit the soft flesh of your neck, he groaned when you moaned his name. When he hooked a finger with the band of your shorts, you held his wrist.

He quickly stopped his actions and looked at you, cupping your cheeks and shock visible on his face. You chuckled at his reaction and he worriedly asked you, "Is there something wrong?"

It's not like you haven't done this before with him but there was something for which you wanted to wait.

"Can you wait for one more day?"

"Before our anniversary?"

You nodded and he smiled before pecking your lips.

"Of course, I can."

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.

.

The day before the celebration. You asked them if you could go out. They felt as if they did something wrong that you were taking permission like a child. You bit your lips and stared at them when they were all similarly staring back at you.

Taeyong broke the awkward moment, "I think someone should speak."

"You did just now."

He glared at Jaehyun, who looked away holding back his laugh. The others snickered and you laughed loudly. All of their attention turned back at your standing figure in an elegant knee length dress.

"You all can go with me."

"We?" Winwin asked you and you quickly nodded.

"So?"

They all looked at each other before agreeing and stood up. The one that was hesitant to come near you was Jaehyun. When they all walked towards the door, conversing and joking among them, he remained at the same place. He felt someone entangled a hand with his and when he looked down at his side, you were smiling brightly at him.

"Let's go, my prince."

"Y/n...you.."

You pulled him towards the door. But he was staring at you like a lost man, who knew nothing other than the directions you would give him. He smiled when he noticed the dress you were wearing was the one he gave you on your birthday last time.

"I'm trying to forget about that day so please don't remind me."

He stopped in his track and you turned towards him, "what happe-"

He pressed his lips to yours. He was laughing between the kisses when you were trying to say something. He pulled apart and you glared at him before looking at your appearance on the phone screen.

"you ruined my lipstick."

"I would have ruined you but it's okay coz it's just the lipstick for now."

"Jae..." you groaned but he grabbed your chin softly and other hand quickly went up , a finger wiping away the smudged out portion and then patted your cheek with the clean fingers.

"you look beautiful like always."

Doyoung came back and pulled you both towards the car.

The car ride was fun. Except for Jungwoo clinging onto your side ans asking you the same question repeatedly, "why can't we know the secret now? Please, y/n."

"I am surprised all of you are in a gang."

Taeyong chuckled, "don't add him. He doesn't do anything other than hacking and intruding other's business from his private place."

He scoffed in reply, "at least I keep company with our girl. Right?"

You nodded. It's not like they were not serious with their job. When the work mode is on, you wouldn't even match the people who are the same with the ones you are currently laughing with. Even you get scared. Okay, last time you really got.

Arriving at the mall, you quickly got out of the car to make a quick call with your friend. You told her to receive the perfumes and flowers from the shop tomorrow morning and keep them in the café. You wanted to celebrate your anniversary at the café and your friend was helping you to get all the orders ready for tomorrow so that today, you can spend your day with the boys.

You bought a lot of things, some necessary and some unnecessary. Jungwoo was with you and others went off to other places.

"you are buying us gifts but not letting us buy for you."

"tomorrow."

"Why? I can buy it today. Wait, I can buy for you everyday."

"Don't show off." You turned around to look at the dress when he picked one from the other row and handed it to you, "wear this tomorrow. This is so perfect."

"are you serious? Do you know my size?"

He smirked and bent to whisper in your ears, "I know every inch and curves how they would fit them and how it would be easy to rip off."

Your eyes went round and you hit his arm when he burst out laughing, "Jungwoo!"

You snatched the dress and walked towards the trial room and when you put on the dress, it seemed like it was the one for you. As if They will marry you tomorrow. Marriage...

Jungwoo knocked at the door and when you opened it, he pushed you inside and locked the door behind.

"what happened?"

"I don't want others to get to see you before me." his gaze moved and his breath hitched. You were looking more beautiful than he projected an imagery picture of you in the dress in his mind.

He pecked your lips and then your temple, "you look like mine. I love you, y/n."

"Always yours. I love you so much Jungwoo."

Done with the things you wanted to buy. Jungwoo went to where Jaehyun was and you were alone walking through the newborn section and smiling. You picked up a pink baby wrap towel and someone back hugged you.

"why are you buying this?" his deep voice sent a shiver down your body.

"I am not buying...just watching... they are so cute. Look at this, Taeyong."

He pressed a kiss on your cheek, "We can someday when we will have a baby."

You turned around when his arms dropped down, "it will be soon."

He smirked to see the excitement on your face, he tugged your hairs before raising a brow, "so am I getting the hint to spend some time with me and then we can expand our family. You and I and our daughter."

"you want a girl?"

"I'm fine with both but to have a girl. I love the idea of mini you running around the house and us all chasing her around."

You hugged him tightly, "I love you, Taeyong."

"I love you too, my princess."

"Wait for tomorrow, please."

"Of course."

.

.

You all went home after almost buying the whole mall and Jaehyun was casually showing off and showing smirks that he brought the costliest items. Oh boy! How wrong he is. He should just see the expenses of Taeyong. Winwin whispered to you that he would be sleeping with you because both of you haven't spent a night together. You agreed quickly.

After the dinner when you were going towards the room, Winwin asked you to go with him to the garden and of course, you would.

"So why are we here?" you were staring up at the sky while sitting on the outdoor swing with him by your side.

"I'm sorry." He muttered quietly.

"I know."

He turned towards you and shook his head, "don't forgive us so easily, y/n. we don't deserve it."

"Then don't say sorry. Stop reminding me about that. Think about tomorrow and let us enjoy the night."

He caressed your head, " you are the sweetest one. The innocent one in our life and I don't want to hurt you but still I did."

"And I forgive you."

He sadly chuckled and pulled you closer, "Can you tell me the secret for tomorrow?"

You stared at him and waited if he wanted to say something but when he didn't, you kissed his cheek and smiled, "No. You have to wait."

"Are you planning a surprise? For us?"

"Maybe...or something more than you can expect."

He furrowed his brows when you caressed his cheek softly, "see...you are the innocent one now."

"really?" he grabbed your neck and pulled you in for a hungry and deep kiss. You were laughing and clutching his shirt. His other hand was caressing your back and hands, melting you under his control. He pulled apart and started panting for air.

"And now?"

"still the innocent." As the words left your mouth, he swept you in his arms and turned round and round. Both of your laughs echoed in the garden.

"I love you...I love you...I love you, My innocent girl."

"I love you too, my innocent boy."

Your teasing made him tickle you in his hold and you laughed out more.

Taeyong was watching you from his balcony with the wine in his hand. He was smiling ear to ear seeing you so happy.

He would keep you safe till the end.

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.

Finally THE DAY.

Winwin woke you up, calling out your name lightly and keeping you close to him. He peppered your face with kisses and you were giggling all the way when he scooped you in his arms and took you to the bathroom to get ready. You looked at the mirror and felt so happy, quickly did your morning routine before running down the stairs to greet your boys. But you could only find Doyoung at the table preparing the plates and decorating it with the final touch.

The house looked amazing.

"Don't tell me you all did this within a night."

"Then What do you think? You were blind to not notice it till yesterday?"

You reached near the table and when you went to pick up a pancake, he swatted your hand away and you whined.

"Let others come. No eating before greeting."

"No greetings to you."

You turned around and folded your hands above your chest, he chuckled and with slow steps went behind you and snaked his arms around, resting his head on your shoulder.

"Happy Anniversary, My love." He kissed your shoulder, the deep round neckline of the dress gave him access to your soft flesh. Your hairs were tied up and he kissed the crook of your neck and his teeth grazing the skin and licking the jaw, "I love you, y/n."

"Doyoung, I love you. Happy Anniversary."

He turned you around to kiss you. His kisses are always soft and takes his whole time to devour the moment. Just like now, he didn't care what others will see but he just wanted to show you his love for you.

You were smiling all the while but the sweet moment got interrupted by the one who could enter the place without any sound but to disturb you both, he purposely made sounds.

"Did I interrupt something?"

"Yes. My love life." Doyoung spat at him and groaned but didn't let you go when the other one laughed and came near you.

You pulled apart from the kiss and looked at Taeyong. The other one was back hugging you and nuzzling his nose into your neck.

Taeyong cupped your cheek, "happy anniversary, princess."

"Happy anniversary girl's dad."

"Huh?"

"Nothing." You laughed out and noticed Jungwoo and Winwin entering the place when one of them muttered a quiet happy anniversary to you because he was always shy in front of others but the other one had to make it dramatic.

"Everyone. Present here. Wait two are missing."

All of you were watching his stupid act, standing on the chair. He craned his neck to look at the stairs and waited for a few seconds before Mark and Jaehyun walked down with bright smiles on their faces.

"Okay here we have Mark and Jaehyun. Then We have Winwin at the table. Mr. Taeyong and Doyoung with our special girl, y/n." He stepped forward to you and took out a flower and kissed it before extending it to you, " a token of love for my precious soul."

"Thank you. Happy Anniversary to my dramatic love."

"Happy Anniversary, y/n." He pulled you away from the one hugging you and stepped towards the table.

You sat between Jaehyun and Mark and they both greeted you following with a smile and soft kiss. Doyoung cut a piece of the pancake and brought it to your lips. You chuckled and quickly ate it.

"Are these all for me?"you asked them.

"Yes. All for the special one." Mark excitedly said and kissed your cheek.

Winwin cleared his throat from across the table, "so what should we do today?"

"Give her the gifts."Mark proposed the idea but you quickly shook your head.

"No not now. My surprise is still left."

"Wait. Yeah, the secret. So tell me." Winwin happily nodded and stared at you.

"No. Get dressed. We are going to my cafe and then everything will be revealed."

"Promise?"

"Of course, Doyoung."

They all quickly dressed up in some denims or leathers but of course they were looking fine individually. You couldn't take your eyes from one of them. Are you even matching with them?

You looked down at your dress and Jungwoo grabbed your shoulders to face them.

"How is she looking?"

The moment their gaze fell on you, everyone stopped, everything was still, a look of adoration and love painted across their faces. They approached where you were shyly looking away when Jungwoo was keeping you in place.

"You look like my queen, love." Taeyong took your hand and kissed the back of your hand. Jaehyun kissed the side of your head and pulled you towards him, "well, we have something more to say but let's go to the cafe first."

"Then let's go."

It didn't take much time to reach the destination but as soon as you stepped inside the door. You started to feel nervous and that did get noticed by them. They were mesmerized by the wonderful decoration that you did and planned for the day. Somewhere, they felt sorry to even blame you for keeping secrets for this. Doyoung didn't leave your hand when you were showing around the details you organized which perfectly matched all six of their likings but the moment they came across the pink box with a letter on top of it. You stopped them.

"Wait!"

They all turned towards you.

"There's something I want to tell you."

Taeyong smiled at you, "go ahead."

"No. First you gave me the surprise and then I did so now it's your turn to tell me first and then I will. How about this?"

Mark smiled and approached you, hugging you from behind and then you noticed Taeyong pulling out a box from his leather jacket.

"Woah! What's that?"

"It's-"

“Y/n!”

“Y/n!”

"Y/n!"

You knew your friend's voice and when you heard her screaming from outside, you ran towards the door and pushed it open.

The boys shouted out your name but you didn't listen and searched for your friend outside the cafe.

There was no one.

No one on the silent and peaceful afternoon street. You felt weird because you were so sure that you heard your friend call out for you so many times.

Are you hearing things?

You felt someone watching you. You looked in each direction but you couldn't see anyone. The boys already exited the cafe.

"Who was there?" Winwin asked while looking around.

"I heard my friend calling for me."

"Then where is she?"

"I don't know."

Doyoung stepped in front of you and held your wrist, "let's go inside. Maybe she was fooling around."

You nodded and turned around with them.

But the moment you took a step.

All of you heard a gunshot.

What happened?

"Ah...D-doyoung."

"Y/n!"

As soon as they saw you, blood was flowing out of your chest. You got shot? Who shot you? They frantically looked around but there was no one in their sight. Doyoung sat on his knees when he felt your limp body leaning on him.

"It's okay, y/n. I will save you. Just wait for a while. We will take you to the hospital soon."

He held your hand when Mark was searching for a way to stop the flow of blood. But his mind was not working and processing the things to do.

The day started with so much joy and love but suddenly what just happened?

Both of the men by your side were scared. Scared to lose you. You were fighting back the urge to seep into sleep but clutched his hand tightly to stay awake. Mark was repeatedly telling you to keep your eyes open.

"Baring the car. Do it fast." Taeyong pushed Jaehyun towards the car but you weakly called out their names and asked them to come to you.

"Just take her to the hospital. Now!"

"Mark. No...I-i don't think I can make it."

"No no y/n. You can." He pressed your hand, which was clutching your chest.

"Taeyong, tell me what you wanted to say. Please"

"Let's go to the hospital."

you shook your head and looked at Winwin, "Can you bring me the pink box? please..." you coughed. Jaehyun already went to bring the car and you were clutching Doyoung's hand tightly. tears escaping your eyes even though you didn't want to cry. Winwin jogged inside the cafe and quickly he picked up the note and the box and wasting no more time, he went towards you.

"Get inside." Jaehyun opened the door for you all.

"Taeyong, tell me please."

he was hesitant to tell you at that moment but wasting unnecessary time means risking your life more. your breath was heaving and Mark was trying his best to keep you awake. Winwin approached the scene and when you noticed him, you weakly smiled at him.

But Taeyong pulled out the black box from his jacket and opened it. your glistening eyes blinked slowly, everything was blur, you could feel a small thing placed on your palm. Taeyong took your hand away from Doyoung's shirt.

you brought the thing closer to you.

It's a ring.

before you could say anything. you all entered the care. you were still looking at the ring. When Jungwoo noticed your fixed gaze on the ring and your grip was about to loosen. He curled your fingers and held your fist tightly. 

Taeyong held back his tears and weakly said from the passenger seat, "we were going to ask you to marry us. A proposal ring."

you heard them. you wanted to say a lot of things but you couldn't. you wanted to say something else at the moment.

"Winwin, give the box to Taeyong." he was quick to follow your words. Jaehyun was often glancing at you from the rear mirror and to the front. their base hospital is a bit far away and they couldn't risk you reaching there so whatever problem they have to face, they were going to if they had to go to the city hospital.

Winwin kept the note in his hand and it was shaking in his hold. 

"trust me...i love you......" you weakly whispered but the one holding you heard it.

"Y/n...y/n...don't close your eyes...please..hey stay awake."

you didn't open your eyes.

nor you were clutching his hand.

"y/n..."

"drive faster!" Taeyong almost shouted at him.

Mark hesitatingly asked, "what's inside the box?"

Taeyong stared at it for a while and then when he opened it. A tear dropped inside the box. Jaehyun's breath hitched and looked at you but your eyes were closed. 

"Y/n...baby..."

aren't you going to smile at him? atleast for the last time.

Congratulations! It's a girl.'

Mark snatched the box from him and his eyes went wide. he urged the other to open the note and there it was, you have ranted everything like always and in the end,

'I collected some flowers for each day after I got the news of pregnancy. I could tell you earlier but I wanted to say it on a special day. I am not hiding anything from you except this. Just trust me. I want to give it to you all as a surprise.'

Jungwoo brought your hand to his lips to plant a kiss.

Doyoung pressed a kiss on your temple, "I trust you."

Are you just going to leave them now?

They won’t trust anything anymore when you didn’t even say the final goodbye.

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. Spread love not hate. If my favoritism is showing with some members then please try to understand oz they are my bias.

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn @meowmeeps @vtyb23 @haechansbbg

[open!]

[norman-fucking-reedus]

Not really a sexual request but… thoughts on Daryl coming home upset? Like genuinely hurting over something or anxious about something. Personally I think Daryl would have some level of anxiety that every now and then can get bad so maybe something happens with that? Idk I just love your writing and wanna see your take on sad Daryl🫶🏻

UGHH I’ve been CRAVING some sad Daryl for a while I have this idea of Daryl having a mental break where he isolates himself from everyone because he has no clue how to properly communicate his feelings so instead he decides to stay in his own space and silently drown to death alone in his own thoughts.

Normalize holding adult men like babies because obviously thats what they are

I feel like lately my writing has been kinda bad?? 🧍🏾‍♀️Maybe this is just too short idk but something is OFF.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

It had been two weeks since Daryl locked himself and your heart in the basement.

He needed some space, that much was obvious, but the worrying started the first week when Daryl didn’t touch the plates of food you or Carol would leave outside the door. He never left the room, never made a sound either. If it weren’t for the years of a living in an apocalypse, you would’ve thought he was dead.

Daryl felt dead, his bone weighing heavy with emotion and anger he just didn’t know how to get out. Years of bottling up everything now seeped through his grimy skin, mind running two miles a minute as his hands fisted his greasy matting hair.

He almost felt like a teenager again, rotting away feeling sorry for himself in bed while internal screaming at himself because lord knows he couldn’t do it vocally. He pushed everyone away, he needed to. Nobody needed to see him like this. Nobody needed to deal with him like this. Nobody needed to help him like this.

Daryl knew you and Carol left food outside his door, but he felt like he didn’t deserve to eat. Didn’t deserve to drink. He didn’t wanna open the door one day and see one of you standing there with a pitiful look on your face. He didn’t need pity.

He also didn’t need the jarring sound of pounding at said door. “Go ‘way” He mumbled, but instead the door creaked open, softly shutting. Maybe he should learn how to use a lock.

“Daryl” You voice was soft against his burning ears, however he felt a twinge of anger surge through him. “Get out. Don’t need anythin” He pushed himself up, sitting on the edge of the bed and only glancing over at where you stood with your arms tightly folded. “It’s been weeks”

He knows. “So? Gonna be another weeks too, now leave” You stood firmly in place, not budging.

Daryl screamed at himself for trying to throw you out, you of all people. Only his internal monologue didn’t match the one coming out his mouth. “Dammit woman I told ya ta leave!”

You stared at him silently, taking a few steps towards him and not faltering when he stood up, merely inches from your face. “Don’ need ya in here feelin’ fuckin’ sorry makin’ me feel worse”

“Well if it makes you feel any shitter I feel sorry for you inside and outside the door” You shrugged up at him, looking at him with a more causal expression than anything. “Why are you pushing me away Dixon?” Daryl bared his teeth at the question, angry at himself cause he didn’t know why. “Why’re ya in here?”

“That’s not answering my question” You scoffed, and Daryl turned to frustrated kick the night stand. “I don’ hafta answer tha’ stupid fuckin’ question! Why can’ ya jus’ leave me tha’ fuck alone?” He began pacing around the room, trying to put distance between the two of you continued to stubbornly close it. “Because I give a shit? You don’t get to suffer in here alone because think you deseve it”

You shoved Daryl’s chest, and surprisingly he shoved back, tears burning hot in his eyes. “Why not?!”

Your face softened and you grabbed Daryl’s hands, holding them tightly in yours. “Fucking stop!” He tried pulling himself out your grip, shaking his head as more traitorous tears spilled. Daryl grunted as you pulled his arms towards you, causing him to stumble which gave you the opening to finally capture him in a tight hug. “Get offa me” He mumbled even as his body desperately melted against yours. “It’s okay sweetheart” You whispered the words and walked backwards, lying on the bed when the back of your knees hit the mattress.

“Ya shouldn’t- Ya shouldn’t see me like this” Daryl buried his face in the crook of your neck, feeling an unfamiliar lump form in his throat. He no longer felt anger, but saddness. He was sad, so sad that he didn’t know what do to other then straying away. His chest hurt, and he felt so vulnerable in your arms that he just exploded, body shaking as sobs racked through him. “I’m here now babyboy, it’s okay” You, quite literally, tangled your fingers into his hair, soothingly scratching the scalp as Daryl’s tears ran down your skin and soaked your shirt.

It hurt so bad yet felt so good to finally, finally let it all out.

You moved to sit up against the wall, bringing Daryl along with you and positioning him to lay across against your shoulder, brushing hair out his red as he sniffled. You wiped his tears with your hand, staring down lovingly at him as you stroked his cheek. “Tell me what's hurting you” You whispered, listening to his soft whimpers and snotty sniffles. Daryl leaned his head against you, eyes flickering up to meet yours as he searched your face. He felt so grateful to have someone like you, caring about someone like him.

“Jus’ everythin” He whispered back.

You kissed his forehead, letting your lips linger there. “Anything in particular?”

Daryl shook his head, soaking up every ounce of attention you gave him. Each tear was wiped away by soft fingers, followed by a gentle kiss.

For the first time, Daryl felt like a little kid, huddled up sweetly in your arms as you ran your hands across his back, slowly rocking his frail frame.

He cried harder than he ever has, muffling sobs into to the fabric of your shirt. You only stroked his hair and told him that it was all okay.

And he believed you.

Daryl could physically feel the love radiating off you, seeping through his clothes and filing his weakened body.

It was so peaceful in the room beside from Daryl’s sniffing, he felt like you were the only people left on earth. As he glanced up at you through clumped lashes, he wished that you were.

“M’sorry” He mumbled.

You quirked a bow. “For what?”

“Fer pushin’ you”

“Away or earlier?” Daryl shook his head slightly.

“Both” He responded.

You playfully rolled your eyes. “Ugh. I guess I forgive you”

Daryl cracked a small smile, one of his fidgety hands reaching for yours. His fingers were cold compared to yours.

“I love you” You whispered, squeezing his hand in yours.

He searched your face, eyes glassy as they once again filled up with tears. “I- I love ya too”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

[iamthatonefangirl]

HEYYY i am back…omg i had some problems with tumblr- idk if its fully fixed yet but at least i can send you smth again!

sooo as i was saying: college!bucky

and from the moment you met- he was hooked!

you are just friends right? he isnt really sure — you have never hung out alone only with the friendgroup — but one think he is sure of is the fact that you are not into him! such an idiot tbh

he thinks you are the most interesting and intelligent person he has ever met…let a lone the fact that you are gorgeous and sooo incredibly kind. so perfect.

which is why he feels like a such big pervert every damn time he is around you…everything you do turns him on at least a little a LOT

and somedays its worst… so bad that he has to control himself so you dont notice…like today…

at some random fraternity party…costume party to be exact.

and ufff…you are wearing something so cute and totally you but sooo sexy at the same time and bucky has to literally suppress a moan when you greet him with a hug!

it gets so bad over the night that he has to escape and run upstairs into some bathroom to- well, jerk off. his mind only consumed by you…

he is in there for 30min or longer- long enough that right after he comes on his hand — biting his lip to not make any noises — there is a knock at the door…and a voice calling out for him- you. your voice.

having no real time to wash his hand…he simply whips his hand off on some towel or with toilet paper- and rushes to open the door-

and there you are. looking so worried and sweet — still, you look like sin and all his wet dreams combined — and he prays you don’t realize that that is exactly what he is thinking about while hes looking at you right now or the fact that he is flustered with a rapid breathing…

but apparently you dont bc you tell him to go back to the party and that you had been looking for him — missing him.

too stunned flustered to speak, he doesn’t answer and without another second…you take his hand and start dragging him to the stairs-

his hand…the hand that just a couple minutes ago had been around his cock to the thought of you and just seconds ago had been covered with his cum.

he almost whines at that.

lets just say…bucky was ready to go again…and he could barely control himself this time…i dont want him to control himself

sorry i am such a yapper but this would not leave my mind while studying… 😝

alright ily chao chao

- 💋

sorry it might've been the issue on my end where it accidentally got turned off that ppl couldn't submit anonymously so yeah that might have been my fault. still might cry over it

okay so college bucky would fix me ok.

im in uni and when i say its been the worst experience of my life... i mean it

so literally buckaroo out here being like this and wanting me like this would fix me

i need him to take me to frat parties just so he can show me off, show people that i'm his, and so we can just have fun together (i act like ive ever been to a frat i havent oops)

i need cute little coffee dates. i need study dates in the basement of the panera on my college campus. i need him waiting in line for half an hour at my favorite cafe on campus just to come to my dorm and bring me coffe because he loves me.

i need buck who invites me to come stay with him when my roommates are the worst people on the planet earth. i need buck who kisses my tears away from the stress and the health flareups college gives me.

wow i might start crying right now over this

i just so desperately need him in every way

i need buck taking me on little weekend trips around the coast

i need buck.

sorry this got self indulgent asf.

[joesalw]

Old swiftie here. I'm so over Taylor shading Joe. Like, I've always defended her because she, as an artist, is allowed to express herself and sing about her life, but she's literally just been taking cheap, coordinated shots against him for months now and it's just ugly. It's one thing for her to write about her feelings, another to shit talk him to her girlfriends, and a WHOLE OTHER THING to take every opportunity to blast him in front of the whole world. It's even worse to me that he really wanted to be private and now that they're over she's making everything public as a last laugh. He hasn't said anything, he's barely shown his face since the break up. All of this could have gone away by now, if she didn't keep bringing it back up. For someone who talked a whole lot about her accomplishments being diminished by the media in favor of her love life and how unfair that is, right now she's the only one to blame for it. She's really not missing any chances when it comes to talking about Travis and even worse comparing them being public to Joe. And I'm sorry, but some of the stuff she says is just hurtful no matter what unfolded. Wasted time? Really? I just don't get how someone can write such beautiful love songs, be so in love, talk for YEARS about how being private is the right thing and what she needed for their mental health, and then go "wow what a load of wasted time you were, and I gotta tell the whole world about it." She just flipped on him so hard and that's the kind of thing I always defended her from. I'm not finding her at all different from the likes of Kanye. That's not the kind of person I'd like to be around in real life and it definitely isn't the kind of person I want to be supporting. Idk I just really can't with the way she's rewriting history. It's like she forgot she disappeared for a reason and has now fully bought into the idea that he kept her locked in her basement or something. I always thought that if you really wanted to know someone's character you should put them on top of the world and see what they do with all that power and I'm sad to say nothing Taylor has done this year has made me think she's someone I should root for. Working with a rapist, dating a racist/misogynist/zionist then defending him, turning on someone she once implied save her life, the way she handled the Rio shows in Brazil (as a brazilian fan)... It's all just rotten. A real shame bc I've been with her since 06 but better late than never I guess.

A real shame indeed, because she's someone i used to defend a lot as well. But with everything that has happened this year have put such a bad taste in my mouth and also made me realize how her haters have always been so right. I used to think she has improved herself a lot both personally and professionally but to throw away all those character development as a wastage of time just because a relationship didn’t work out is so childish and embarrassing, like how can her fans not see through this?

[ravenkinnie]

so uhhhh watched act iii yet. what do you think.

I was keeping track of which leaks turned out to be true because I saw people say these CANNOT be real because it's so ass and well i think that person was for the people like they are a whistle-blower. this was a warning

*there's something hysterical in the thesis that if hextech wasn't invented eventually we would all be rich. there's something so liberal about it idk. like a statement on assimilation or whatever

*heimerdinger saying he waited for ekko all that fuck ass time and then sacrificjgg himself for him...... I'm sorry who the fuck said christian linke projects on ekko and ships himself with heimer

*not vi being dead in the good reality. she was born to suffer ig

*not jinx living in some fuckass dwelling even in her good reality, she's just meant to live in someone's basement

*first of all the way when jayce had hextech he invented capitalism and when ekko and jinx had it they went back in time???? that's a statement somehow

*jinx has such ariana grande proportions like she needs a volume of hair to cover the fact that her head is so huge and she's so tiny

*the way time travel to these two is like an invention you show off at a party like they invented facebook. this world building is crazy

*I shockingly didn't even mind timebomb I can't lie, I'm not even mad. I'll find something to complain about later like idk the way they git torn apart by the invention of capitalism (by jayce) makes me giggle

*mel is like the most beautiful animated character ever I'm sorry and now she has magic??? this storyline kind of feels so detached at times but also it was so perfectly to my taste that I enjoyed it regardless. I'm fuckung OBSESSED with the dynamics between mel and her mother and I would watch this slowly unfold in a 20 episode season instead of being introduced through exposition

*viktor is so hot this season, they really ate that twink

*unfortunately the way jinxs storyline makes no sense bleeds into caitvi and caitlyns storyline so it's not really well done yk. but it feel like fanservice for a very specific type of a lesbian and I'm that lesbian. caitlyn is so beautiful and drama is so high like I kind of ate it up like I'm sorry I am watching with my pussy rn

*everyone was so hot acc. caitlyn had me mewling like cats in spring, jayce did get hot, jinx was so pretty this act

*the way jinx was like I didn't know your mom was there and that's it, okay bitch you still killed people. like the way she really perceives only emotional conflict and not moral or anything I fuck with that

*I have to just once again reiterate. caitlyns storyline and caitvi, and vis storyline too acc, were not well written and they need more seasons. however the bare bones were so hot

*this act made me realise that silco loves to say a bunch of nothing

*I mean this plot is just nonsensical the way we just held hands and sang kumbaya to solve poverty. everything solved by a speech cause we got limited as hell screen time. it's giving kendall pepsi commercial

*also they started a whole war in the time it took for vi to get out of that fucking cell

*caitvi sex scene was fucking fantastic. in a prison cell, I'm cackling. the world might be a cruel place but I just watched lesbian pussy eating in a league of legends show so sometimes good things do happen

*it really is like the best female characters come from the most misogynistic places. when ambessa slapped mel I screamedddd

*I mean they desperately needed more time and seasons there's no hiding this fact but I think ideologically this would always be like this

*like they couldn't make it good but they did make it wild instead so I appreciate this

*I am kind of sad about caitvi not getting more time because there's so much bullshit in how the character choices had to align to get them to necessary plot points and they had to speed through a lot of development but man. at least caitlyn got her pussy ate

*I acc don't hate jinxs hair. I do hate her storyline but burning down the last drop was beautifully dramatic I deserved a whole season like this

*caitlyns gotten the most pussy across this show I need everyone to remember this

*caitlyn assassinating ambessa and when that bitch went "bold little one" I'm sorry they should have been scissoring too, we didn't need maddie. it would be funnier when caitlyn has to tell vi she was with someone else too like no you do care acc!! tho caitlyn getting betrayed by a fling and almost executed is hot girl activities. like shes just my little female fantasy character

*jinx didn't get shit in writing but at least she got some cunt back. but oh my god the way her arc did nothing like both her and vi, for main characters esoecially, really adjust to the most nonsensical plot

*ambessa just got a mess of a season to be evil in like she couldn't live up to silco in s1 as a villain. I will be thinking about her and caitlyn touching each other tho. and then mel killing her??? incredible work ill cry over what could have been if it was good

*caitlyn losing an eye and getting an eyepatch girl you know this one is made for me

*mels mage lil look being just quite literally just lingerie and like one of those cheap sets you get from sex shops that come in a bag, just to remind you what game this show was born of. not that I'll hold it against her as a kai'sa main

*hollered when jayce told viktor there's beauty in imperfection mf he was dying

*I bet jinxs death scene could eat 8

in a show that isn't this. but this was so ass like the whole storyline was just ass so this doesn't feel like silos death where it's like obviously you don't want a bitch to die but it makes absolute sense for the character. this is just dumb

*I KNOW I SAID IT BUT AGAIN this show will try to fix anything through a speech I swear to fucking god. arcane believes these two cities just needed to go to couples therapy

*caitlyns so sexy with an eyepatch. like she just is. this was the highlight of the season, that caitlyn needed this fuck ass arc to get super hot

[bristlefrostsbbg]

All my SMG4 Aus and what are they because i feel like i have too many to count :[(Part 1)

Igbs!AU = I gotta be safe AU, A fic on my wattpad that you can read so im not gonna explain.

ANP = A new pet AU, same as Igbs.

TSATP = The siren and the prince, same as the others

SPFTM = Stellar pieces from the moon, Same on my wattpad

TLD = The living doll, Same

DD = Dreaded Delays, its a AU where 4 took too long to decide to save 3 in the pit, as 3 fell into the pit and became infected with the tentacles; and 4 saved 3 but he still got infected, and 4 held him in a prison in the basement to find the cure, and 3 accidentally escaped, attacking the crew, but 4 managed to help 3, and 3 calmed down.

Blunt!AU = Knifes are too blunt to hurt anymore. Basically PV has the crew captured, and wotfi 2024 but my own way, aka PV wants to kill 3 for the sake of it, but 4 begs for PV not to do it, and PV(somehow) agreed. PV said, if 4 would be his puppet, and 4 said to let 3 and the others go. PV happily agrees, letting them go back to the showgrounds, aka pushing them in a portal without consent. the others already planning to help 4, but they needed someone to continue 4’s channel for a bit, and everyone thought 3 was the reasonable answer. 3 doesn’t take this option well, but he had to do it. Quarter a year later, the crew get their plan up. But suddenly, 3 gets a message from PV to meet him at puzzle park. Alone. Smg3 explains his plan to find 4, and if he wasnt back in half a day, come save his ass. PV himself greets 3, leading 3 straight to the engine room, where he comes face to face with 4, and he didnt look fucked up and tortured, he was in expensive looking makeup and blah blah fuck this part , and was brainwashed, attacking 3. Cornered, 4 came up to him, 3 whispering “I love you, dude” to his lover, before a knife was stabbed into his head, knocking 3 out, and it somehow didnt hit any vital parts, like the original 4 was trying to save 3, but just dodged the vital parts, but also blinding 3. at this point, its been half a day, i forgor to mention idk im losing track sorry 4- the crew break in just in time, 4 breaking free from PV’s control when he was attacked, rushing 3 to the hospital for treatment. And helping 4 get his sanity back. Half a month later, 3 finally wakes up(not fully just so they know hes still alive), and sappy shit blah blah i hate my job, and a day later, 4 goes into the now destroyed puzzle park, looking for anything for some reasons im still inventing, and finds destroyed PV’s head all fucked up. Smg4 was gonna leave it, but he realised that if he had PV at his mercy, he could get his revenge. 4 brought PV back, taping his limb holes idk bro to prevent PV from escaping. After PV woke up, and got BRUTALLY FUCKING smashed by 4 multiple tjmes, he realised PV was converted into a inmobile TV head now, for his body was beyond repair and was separated from his body which was burnt in Puzzle park. 4 threatened PV that if 3 was in any way damaged permanently, he would kill PV immediately. 3, although he survived the attack, still suffered damage, his two eyeballs’s films were shattered and damaged, causing him to be literally almost blind, but his left eye could see out barely, and the doctors gave him a special idk fucking shit i made it up, and he could see at least something better. He slowly recovered, being well enough for 4 to meet 3, and 4 apologised for everything, crying and sobbing, before 4 suddenly kissed 3, confessing he had heard everything. Smg4 also told the whole situation about PV, and 3 gradually accepted it, as long as he could beat up PV again. Then 3 was better, going back to the showgrounds, getting used to his blind ass. He kinda already got a prescription for glasses, but he simply ignored it and used the glasses whenever he generally couldnt see, and 3 faced PV, and insert beating up. Then, 3 SOMEHOW broke a vital wire in PV’s head, causing PV to lose his grip on the TV, cause he is still human at heart, and boom die :3 Then insert happy ending idk bro im tired

I’ll probably write Part 2 soon man

[tr4sh-u]

My best friend and i recently had a sleepover and stuff and we decided to rewatch from ep 22-camp arc+fnafhs s2+watch fhs z3ro 4 the first time and DEAR GOD.

it showed me how fucking much i forgot some of the characters acted like and jesus christ, i've been blinded fully by my interpretations and my au because MAN did i end up fucking hating each fucking Meg scene. I tried having so much pity for her but once i got to rewatch the whole Toddy introduction to the toys i wanted so bad to pull those cotton candy emo hairs out of her skull.

First of all, she doesn't care jack shit about Bon and that makes me FURIOUS because he's her friend and although their relationship is just friendly, they should totally and FULLY have a deeper bond than just her talking to him sometimes and joking about his disaventures instead of helping him. FOR FUCKS SAKE HE GOT ATTACKED BY A BEAR AND MEG DIDN'T SAY JACK SHIT.

Meg cares more about some stupid competition and band than HER OWN FRIEND, and that fucking bothers me because the toys are supposed to be a band that at the same time is a supportive friend group who are there for eachother in tough times. How am i supposed to believe Meg cares about Bon when it feels like she has a knack for seeing the poor guy suffer?.

Also Joy for some reason also feels like she's bad but in a sense she's an enabler and altough supportive she still has the bad actitude though more subtle. idk if y'all get my point

it's like maybe a the other dad situation or maybe blue diamond type situation (kinda rusty w/ su i haven't watched it in a LONG time)

She's more subtle in a sense she doesn't show care about what happens to Bon physically and doesn't really do shit about Meg's behaviour, she totally understands Bon situation and ofc she's an amazing friend for Bon, but like still, when it comes to Meg it's like all that platonic love and support for Bon disappears and doesn't do anything about Meg, or even Toddy.

Yeah i know Toddy appeared bratty on her introduction to the band, but realise Joy literally said she doesn't mind her and even wanted her to stay, but as soon as Meg says "nah i hate this girl who i barely know just because she has a bad actitud (speak for YOURSELF) and doesn't play any instruments" Joy gets shut down and doesn't say jack shit??? Even though after Meg said that Bon was practically on HIS KNEES telling Meg to PLEASE include Toddy into the band, wouldn't idk Joy join Bon on his cause, like why doesn't she do anything about that and just watch?

I know i sound like a mad man who over analyses everything and i know i'm taking too seriously that scene, but seriously, Meg was really in the wrong for that and it never gets recalled afterwards or even slightly fixed, and Joy should've stood up more for Bon and Toddy as she would've probably very easily noticed how desperately Bon wanted Toddy to be included.

And don't even get me STARTED on the whole headphones thing, oh Meg it's over for you, you better lock those doors in that tax evasion house of yours, because once i catch you i'm getting you locked up in my basement and forcing you to crunch and mass produce art pieces and comics that i would later post as mine.

[chimivx]

been waiting my whole life for this idk how to word this properly bare with me pls

how would u describe the difference between tyun & gyu in bed w faden in nmwid??? and how are they when theyre together with her?

………. hopefully this makes sense my brain is fried rn

thank u ily🫶

anon oh my GOD. the way that they are both so different with her but she's so wrapped up in both of them omf-

-> i finished this and it's long, see u under the cut! | read nmwid here

tyun ; him and faden in general- rip my heart out and stomp on it till it doesn't exist. they figured everything out together, point blank. that's the killer in all this. everything they share is so special and so just purely them. they started out with little giggles and fumbling hands, but when they have it down, christ. it's constant, it's all the time, it's everything everywhere all at once, they cant stop. it's addictive, it's a drug, it's hot, it's sweaty, just so incredibly intense it's a wonder they were both able to move on from one another. tae gets her more than gyu, this we know, and he's had her longer, so he knows it all, everything that gets her wound up, the ways he has to tease her to turn her on or persuade her into his bed, which isn't hard. they were in love, like romeo and juliet typa shit, at one point in time they were ready to give everything up for each other- the bedroom reflected just that. they had to keep everything hidden, it came out when they were alone and could strip each other down. (faden doesn't tell me much about her time w tae... so this is what we've come to know. <3)

together ; this comes first, before gyu... the first time gyu and faden hooked up was her eighteenth birthday, the first time the three of them slept together. the boys were boys, giddy as fuck, taehyun having never slept with anyone but faden, and beomgyu only having a few shitty experiences before this one ruins him for life. faden, smiley, intoxicated beyond belief, followed the boys lead, had the time of her fucking life. that one time turned into more times, whenever they'd drink too much, smoke too much. if tae and faden started making out in beomgyu's basement on the couch, their best friend now had permission to situate himself in the middle. if he was around and they started messing with each other, he was invited, and he involved himself right away. i'd like to say that they keep up this giggly thing together, but once shit was established and the dynamics worked themselves out, taehyun kept the order, he was in charge. he gave permission, he told them what they could do, he had the mouth, he had the power. beomgyu's a little shit, we know this, who's to say he doesn't fall into a little bratty subby space when he's a little drunk horny mess?! he's gonna push the boundaries, he's gonna try to kiss faden when taehyun says no, he's gonna try to defy tae, and faden even tries to do the same sometimes depending on what she took hours prior. but she never minded just being there. she was theirs to use, theirs to play with, and for the longest time she liked it that way. occasionally, beomgyu would fill that role, waking up wedged between tae and faden as the only one completely naked. to wrap it up, tae is your classic dom and gyu's that bratty switch- you never know which you're gonna get!

gyu ; his first time with faden ruined him. that first slip inside her while she laid on taehyuns lap, the way her fingernails dug into his shoulders, that little 'o' her lips made, somebody take him out. before he even had the chance to cum inside her he knew this was going to happen again, he needed it to. then to watch her ride his best friend while she begged for gyu to come kiss her all over?! somebody sedate him. it was all fun for beomgyu, he liked his role, he played his part, he was really good at being a little shit, because he is a little shit. he could be the biggest asshole to taehyun and he'd still wind up with a girl on his dick and two pairs of lips on his skin!? hell fucking yes. beomgyu's a fucker, and he's well endowed, this we know, whenever he had faden and tae was around, he didn't hold back, unless tae said so, but until then he was content with ruining her like she had ruined him. what he didn't account for......was falling in love with her. and once that happened, everything changed. the first time they slept together without taehyun, sleeping next to them on the basement couch, it started out like it always would, beomgyu being a little shit and faden playing into it, their bratty energy colliding, creating something insane to play with, but between the smiles, the laughs, they quickly realized how different it was without taehyun around them, talking to them, kissing them, touching them. it was faden and gyu, that was it. and while things between tae and faden were passionate, intense, full of that heart to heart lovey dovey tears in their eyes type shit... things between gyu and faden were, for lack of better terms, feral. that first taste of them, just them, it set them off. clinging to one another, unable to get enough, it's insatiable. not one part of it's crazy, it's actually purely vanilla aside from the teeth on skin, but it's heavy, toe curling, hair pulling, nails scratching skin, loud as fuck, disgustingly delicious, and messy. like gyu pressing her into the wall, thrusting up into her with a hand between her legs until tears grace her cheeks. whole time he's got his lips pressed to her ear, his dirty mouth feeding her praises while her fingers break the skin on his back... are we still shocked the twins are a thing? are we still shocked she came back to this...?

-> i'm team gyu i'm not even sorry.

[boyinafandom]

YOU

Part 1

Song of this installment

Yes I’m bringing this 2020 banger back SHHHH

This is technically an au

In this au there are:

•Toby, still has Tourette's, although barely mentioned when in his pov because he's used to it and tunes it out now

•he still has his canon mental illnesses don’t worry

•he has no cheek scar-he has a lot of freckles though, that he covered in the first story with makeup, because it’s an easy thing to identify him with.

•his family isn’t dead, he’s just fucking crazy or sum idk (this is subject to change though? When i find lore, because in most cases psychopathy is made from child abuse-although it is believed that it may be genetically passed so…)

•reader is trans ftm (read part one for like context in there transition) not apart of the au but im TIRED AND SICK OF THE STRAIGHT FEMALE Y/N WE NEED MORE TRANS REP

TRIGGER WARNINGS

•kidnapping

•implied that someone (and everyone) Y/N knows and works with is now dead

• torture 

•manipulation

•MOMMM TOBYS BEING A MINDLESS HEARTLESS CRAZED FREAK AGAIN

Summary

It’s been about a three years since the whole “clock em over the the head and tie him up in your basement” incident, you thought it was over.

You were sorely mistaken.

______________________

Y/N’S pov

I changed jobs, moved away,changed my name for the 6th time in my life time(while only being 27). Started over. AGAIN. Because I’m incapable of keeping the creeps away.

.

.

.

I don’t know why I didn’t kill him like I did the others.

You know, usually, when the restraining order doesn’t work, instead of telling the police, you take matters into your own hands,but he’s slippery, more then I thought, he got away, how could I have let this happen, now look at me?

Locked in a basement, and cold, uncomfortably dry basement, waiting for who I can only assume to be the man I thought I so blissfully got away from (and almost managed to kill) a few years back.

And now that I say all this. You must be deeply confused, so allow me to explain.

______

September 4th 2024

12:34 AM

It’s freezing, and my makeup is starting to come off, thankfully I brought my mask. Why is this place still going on this late anyway? I mean, I get wanting a good midnight scare, (I work as a scare acter now) but it’s a freezing September night, the only people who are showing up are drunk…and..shit..someone is coming, ok- got to get into position

I borrow myself into the corn field..and wait

…

…

…

AND SUDDENLY I LEAP OUT AT THEM WITH A SCREAM

Dowsing them in fake blood and landing on top of them…I was not meant to land on them…shit..

I hear an audible groan

“Oh shit I’m sorry man! That was not meant to happen-“

“Naw man it’s fine-“

He sounds vaguely familiar,but who doesn’t,right?

I get off him, and he starts to get up

Shit I wasn’t supposed to break character, I then feel my alarm go off in my pocket..

My shift ended?? Then what is this guy doing here?

He smiles at me a wide..sharp toothed smile..

“What’s the alarm for?”

“My shift ended, it’s close time. What are you doing this far out?if I may ask?”

“You may, and I got here about an hour ago. I made it this far out because I…don’t actually know..?”

He does a full 360* turn and looks heavily confused, like he knew what he signed up for, but doesn’t know how he got where he is now.

“You uh..want me to walk you back?”

His neck jerks and he says a fast yes, clicking his tongue and stuttering

“You uh..good?”

Either he’s a tweaker he has tics, please god don’t be a fucking tweaker.

“So..why’d you come out this late?”

I say, since he completely ignored my question

“Hm..? Oh uh-? Just felt bored”

His hand jerks

It’s hard to see in the heavy lack of light. If it wasn’t for the moon shining over us, I wouldn’t even be able to tell if he was a man or woman,but…he reeks of copper..

Copper..

“So..you work here? Or do you volunteer??”

He asks

“I uh…work here..also sorry, this walk will take a minute, this is the end of the scare trail after all”

I say with a chuckle

He looks at me

“What’s funny?”

“Hm?”

“You laughed, so what’s funny?”

I start to feel a prickle up my spine at the sudden change in demeanor,cold running up and down my body.

“Oh um..nothing sorry, just trying to break the tension that’s all..”

___

At some point after light conversation we end up back on the well lit trail…and then I see his face. He’s covered in freckles, and fake blood and he has a..large scar on his eyebrow..

Odd

I cut rogers when I tried to get rid of him for good

Whatever

We keep waking and then I smell something, it reeks of copper and cigarette smoke, Jaden usually smelled like cigarette smoke..

It starts to click

I walk over to the source of the smell..

Then I see it, this blobbed red thing..

“Hey uh..I realized i never got your name”

The guy says

“Where did you get that scar..?”

I say without turning around, peering into the ditch trying to see if my suspicions were correct

“You.”

And then then I feel him, his hands on my face. a wet rag over my mouth and nose, I try to hold my breath and fight but I quickly start to lose air..and then I breath it in..and lose consciousness…

_____

And that kids,is how I got locked in this creeps basement…

Fuck I hope Charles ok…

Shh..I can hear movement upstairs

______

TOBY’S POV

This is GREAT. I finally get to see you again-mostly because you were to dumb to recognize me, shame really, I thought you loved me tiger.

We’re in love! So how did you not recognize me????it’s fine I suppose, I already killed the bitch you replaced me with. I mean seriously??? A bleach blonde twink??? I am so much better than him.

So

Much

Better.

As I make my way down stares,to you,I kind of realize-that you,mhm you tiger-probably don’t recognize me. It’s a shame, you didn’t see to recognize me when we saw each other again.

I hope you didn’t forget about me.

I slowly creak the entrance to you’re sell (that I made just for you! By HAND, because I truly care about your comfort) and there you are, immediately on alert, jerking about in your seat, thrashing about.

“Your only gonna make it tighter,tiger, I’ll untie you soon, you just have to stop struggling and relax”

You stop,surprisingly, and try to find the source of my voice.

“MFGHH!! MFH MOH”

You bark at me, to bad your mouth is gagged, I’d love to hear what you have to say.

“Hm? What was that?”

I mutter with a smirk, walking over to my table, and picking up my flaying knife

You hear the metal clink, I hear the scared whine you make.

“You’re about to be in a lot of pain tiger. Too bad you deserve it.”

You start to cry. But you didn’t comfort me when I cried…because you weren’t there.

“Stop crying, it’s gonna get a lot worse,Y/N.”

I pull the cloth out of your mouth, and you immediately go silent, like a whine or even scream is born and killed in your throat, maybe you think your silence with get you off easy, but it won’t. So don’t bother.

“Don’t bother struggling.”

I stab into your top of you’re left thigh, bluntly and brutally, and you cry harder, screaming so loud your voice breaks.

“Mhm. Let me hear you pretty boy.”

I pull it a little farther out and watch the blood gush out of your thigh, you’re screaming and crying, not begging though.

“It doesn’t matter how loud you scream, no one can hear you, this place is sound proofed.”

You stop screaming, and then huff something out, it’s so quiet I can almost barely hear it like it’s taking up all of your strength.

“Yknow…you’re a pretty good actor….”

I can’t help but not laugh, I mean complementing me? Really? That’s not gonna get you out of this.

“Why are you laughing? What’s funny?”

You mutter

I quirked an eyebrow

“Oh nothing…”

I rake the blade into your thigh one more time, this time you only jerk your spine in response.

Now I’m never letting you go.

____

I KNOW I SAID I WOULDNT MAKE A PART TWO BUT HERE IT IS. Eat up smucks:3

Also sorry that I’ve haven’t post a fic of any kind in like a month in a half, life likes to rake its nails down my back while licking my ear lobe lol

[imnotsiho]

ooc. this is a post containing hcs of what happened to siho majority of july god knows when i’ll be able to sit down and actually write out a drabble about it. important notes:

• after ha juho’s (siho dad yas) death, siho stopped speaking for about a full week.

during the rites and despite her being the chief mourner (could’ve been her brother but to this day idk who to appoint as her brother and my brain can’t handle writing an npc for now) she did not let a single word come out of her mouth, siho’s face was unrecognizable not because of physical alterations but because she had such a still, empty expression people around siho thought she was a living dead.

• siho originally wanted to run away to a completely new region in the world untouched by any of her own/rival’s/ally’s’ organizations but her crazy brain told her to k word her grandfather that was practically 99% the reason why her dad had to die in the first place + even if it meant her dying in the process (or preparation) she didnt gaf cause both her mom and dad are dead there’s quite literally nothing to lose anymore

• the night she thought of what to do though siho’s cat started rubbing on her feet out of nowhere and siho is convinced it’s her cat onigiri telling her to not be stupid and she has to make sure she gets out of whatever she’s planning alive so she can continue feeding him. emotional night really

• siho’s grandfather never liked her for the reason that she was a woman so he too was planning to k word her

• one afternoon when siho picked up some documents as part of an agreement with someone that can help her with her “plan” she passes out in the back of her “cab” and then wakes up in a basement with six men surrounding her all with weapons

• siho grandpa is satan reincarnated so instead of just killing siho he had ordered his men to torture her for a total of 21 days. i dont wanna write what kind of torture just know she ends up being barely alive and revenge being the only thing that’s keeping her

• after the torture situation thing they basically drop her off her apartment covered in wounds bruises broken leg a black eye ACL you name it and its some sort of taunting of how no matter what siho does they will always know where she lives/where they can find her and it just pissed siho off even more

• she’s still planning on killing her grandfather but how exactly… will be revealed one day 🩷 idk yet

[thebigcjart]

Finally got this guy out onto the page lol.

"This poorly closeted gentleman is named JAKE ALASSA. Behind his consistently furrowed brow is a CURIOUS SOUL, who is only barely better at talking to BOOKS than people. Jake cares deeply about his FAMILY, new and old, to the point where he would take on THE CITY (and lose) to protect the GROUP HOME. Said family makes fun of his UNFORTUNATELY CRASS naming tendencies, but he loves said family anyway. Jake was found by his now big sister LONO ANAKONI after being GENTLY KICKED OUT of a local library for staying overnight. He always wants to help in supporting the group home, but is always told no because he has LEGENDARILY BAD LUCK when it comes to holding a job and cannot afford to even chip in. To compensate, he GROUPHOMESCHOOLS the younger members of the group home and also KANE MENDOZA. Jake is deeply, deeply fascinated by Kane. Jake had unknowingly interacted with them on several occasions, even FALLING ASLEEP on Kane before convincing them to follow him into the DINGY BASEMENT of a LOCAL BAR. Oh, did he not mention that the basement is also the group home? Sorry, he forgets that people don’t know the full context for a lot of the things he says. Kane, famously, DIDN’T CARE about being homeless, but Jake, famously, CARED A LOT, so he EXPERTLY PERSUADED Kane to leave the streets and move in. Kane’s CONDITION had caused some SOCIAL CONFLICTS in the group home when they moved in, but now Jake is trying to teach them EMOTIONS 101, and he prays that maybe HIRO HITOSHI will start taking notes from watching Kane’s progress. No luck so far."

I ran out of spoons partway through the design process, so I only sprited up his head, symbol, and shorts before needing to tie it all up for posting. Assume he has a lose flannel over his undershirt. I might redo this in more detail at a later point in time but idk. Might just keep the next few really simple and easy until I'm more juiced up to get back into the hard stuff. Also might switch over to GIMP, as MS Paint is sort of draining my motivation hardcore. It's got the charm I like but I have more freedom with GIMP. Expect things to change a little in the near future.

Jake was born in America, but his last name comes from "Alasa" which I forget entirely what language/region I got it from, but it means "shield". This is also where the phalanx in his chumhandle comes from.

Speaking of, his "UNFORTUNATELY CRASS naming tendencies" lead his shortened chumhandle in pesterlogs to be "PP" along with his surname featuring "ass" right in the middle. He does not recognize these little slip ups, for he is far too interested in the denotations of words rather than their connotations.

Their symbol is derivative of the alchemical symbol of Jupiter/Tin, which you can kind of see by the contour of the parchment edge and the quill. To the ancient world, Tin was the perserver, also representing Zeus/Jupiter, who oversaw the entire land from the sky, sending down concentrated bolts of Light. This echoes Jake's overprotective nature and need for understanding and knowledge as a Mage of Light. Tin was also used in rituals to promote prosperity, abundance, and stimulation. Which further reinforces the ties that the aspect of Light has to fortune, as well as knowledge.

Jake acts very passively with his Aspect for a long time, trying to play the role of a Seer rather than a Mage before the session begins, but this is a misuse of his skillset, and leads to him neglecting his own needs and desires. This also causes some minor contention with Alli, the Seer of Space, as they both kind of compete for the "team helper" position under Lono, the real leader of the team and group home. Of course, both Jake's and Alli's quests aim to resolve this (albeit kind of weak) beef by separating their roles in the grand scheme of the session.

I'll cover the lands and denizens and quests and junk after I get all the members of the group home drawn up, as they are the players of my fansession, but Jake's quest requires him to break out of his role of the preserver to understand how to use the Light to benefit himself, for once.

[soleilocverse]

Chapter 21 Commentary

Wrote this ch over. Many a moon. But while finishing it up had a strep throat scare While 3 days away from a big test that I can only take once a year and i was. Very Stressed.

"Can you bring me,” he names the first thing he can think of just to get Ray to move, “a bottle of water, please. And then can you please just come get Ness?” 

(I keep accidentally deleting these draft notes aaa) but I think it's cool to see Soleil being Actively manipulative? He did it too when he asked Ray for stuff but he's v aware of how to change his demeanor to get what he wants/appease people. Like, it's always been along the lines of being submissive in some way but there are different ways of playing that (in this case, by submitting to ray's desire to bring something to him, even if he doesn't think he needs anything, he can move things along.) and he is aware that the others want him to be able to ask for things Plus they defer to him when it's Ness in mind

so while he tends not to ask for things partially bc he genuinely doesn't want to be a burden/ask for too much/owe them for it/etc, there's also the constantly analyzing part of him that knows if he doesn't ask for much, when he Really wants to ask for something, even if it's something he thinks the others might be hesitant about (but not Too hesitant. he wants to play Into their feelings, not try and oppose them) then he's much more likely to get it. like. having ray take ness and leave soleil in the suite while barely giving him time to think about it

"Hi, baby" croon

Was re-reading and got walloped noticing that I'd written Soleil going "hi, baby" over the phone in the same kind of croon that he has when he goes "hi, baby" when Ness wakes up for him in the basement and i,,,, it wasn't intentional, it's just a thing he Does and i think it's going to keep popping up. Just that, swell of relief and a teeny bit of desperation coming out in that croon.

i keep wanting to write ness in a high chair and then i have to go No booster seat, u know why, bc i think it'd be insanely cute for him to play w/ things on a tray table or to see him kick his little feet but he's not quite That tiny

Cyrill's texting

I had to go back and edit over Cyrill's texting so much bc i was like. babes. this is just You (specifically, i wrote "totes" in my author notes and then went back and saw him type totes twice and was like.......hm don't like that HKDSJHSK), so, i've decided cyrill uses a lot more shortened words like tgt/ofc. he doesn't tend to type out the "you" "are" etc and uses a lot of emojis. i think actually, he would be an Atrocious texter when it comes to katie bc he thinks it's funny when he shortens words so much it's just consonants or just straight up only uses emojis and makes her figure out what he's trying to say (which she tends to do!!)

Soft versions because my brain is too fried to get into that headspace rn: "🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒😩😩🤧😫😫 let me out" when he gets sick or "💗🐶😷🤒😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭, he’s so upset about it too 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔" when soleil gets sick (i think this will also mutate into soleil just Being the pink heart eventually but for clarity's sake it's pink haired dog 😭)

He only manages a couple and spends the rest of the time running his finger pad up and down the sleeve, feeling the little bumps of the crackers and not really hearing the crackling of the plastic.

idk the sensory of mindlessly running his finger up and down the bumps got me here and then i had to parallel it w/ ness's spine

He has the oddly calm thought that “this is it.” If Ness dies, this is it for him, forever. There won't be anything left.

HI, i want you to know that this entire scene came to me into a dream and these lines absolutely blasted the fuck out of me.

[crystallllines]

everything is frustrating. a complicated but, imo, poignant chunk of writing gone.

no sleep last night.

barney may be sick and he’s behind on his shots and of course jack has no money because it all goes towards beer so the financial burden falls on me. and he gets angry when i feel overwhelmed and discouraged and say that i never wanted a cat because i simply cannot afford to care for one. it’s ’whining,’ he says, and that i ‘should be grateful the cat gods deemed you worthy and blessed you with a cat’

he thinks i don’t like barnaby. it’s not that at all; i like him well enough, it’s just… like… unlike him, I didn’t grow up with pets (not entirely true; i had lizards, but they’re a totally different story) and at this point, i don’t entirely know how to interact with them regularly, and yes, i’m upset that this sweet little animal was placed in my care when i can barely care for him and, despite all my efforts to change my attitude, changing a litter box fucking grosses me out beyond belief

he says i don’t give him enough attention. i was under the impression that cats don’t like to be smothered and like to be independent, so i let him do as he wants. when he comes over to me, yeah, i give him pets. if he curls up on or near me, i don’t shoo him away.

everything is frustrating. all i want to do is fucking write something and let the characters that i’ve been developing, the stories i’ve been trying to craft, for the last… idk, at least 16 years live and unfold. and i would like to do as much of that as possible before classes start up again.

he says i’m pulling away. he says it over and over, insisting for the last few months that i’ve been putting distance between us. i keep explaining that if there’s any distance between us, it’s brought on by the drinking. it’s been like six years, and I’m losing hope that he’ll ever get sober and out of his parents’ basement.

he occasionally sounds jealous of my writing, but if he’s allowed to disappear into drink, why can’t i disappear into my imagination? that’s free, at least, and it doesn’t hurt me or the people who love me. except maybe jackson, it seems.