#idk and it feels like im betraying liz almost? she was host during that time and got hit the hardest
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(screaming)(crying)(banging my head into the wall)(kicking my feet)
#vent#dont rb#i feel so. so. UGHAGRHHHHGH#UGH !#i keep feeling conflicted about liking him. like yes i do love him but also like. 2020-2021 was fucking hard man. it hurt a lot.#i wanna get over it cause like hes already apologized for it multiple times and knows what he did wasnt right and stuff but. ughhhhhh#AND hes still doing it but to someone else that pisses me off#idk and it feels like im betraying liz almost? she was host during that time and got hit the hardest#its like. after all she went thru now im here trying to fucking date him ?#like what the hell is wrong with me ? dont i remember all the times i cried over him ?#not even like normal crying over a boy whatever that means i thought he was dead. he was dead ok?#he was dead and i was dead and for SOME FUCKING REASON. despite being the only real people. he wouldnt talk to me.#anyhow. i still feel bad sometimes about all that happened#i really did think i was over it but i guess i was just anp moment-ing it (avoiding it -_-)#it still hurts :(
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