#idk again i dont want to dig my nose right now on the whys so for now ill go back to the canvas another few minutes

[windydrawallday]

I have had this THING haunting me for three days straight and bothering me when trying to focus on finishing other priority stuff so THERE, OUT IN THE WILD, I hope I can work in peace now lmao

Still, a good excuse to do a chaotic art style 💜 I think it suits these types of characters!

[ellsbclls]

you write hurt/comfort so beautifully, it makes me want to have tom comfort me like that ): do u think you could write something where he's taking care of you after a long day at work?? and if it's a little nsfw i wouldn't mind but u dont have to do anything ur not comfortable with. again L O V E ur work!!

thank you so much 🥺 i guess i just try to portray a type of love i think everyone deserves! but also thank you for giving me this idea because my mind went rampant. i also don’t know why the reader is a musician, but just roll with it i guess idk what happened there??? 

i hope this tickles your fancy! nsfw, so extended warnings will be under the cut! please do not interact if you're a minor!!

extended warnings: cue fingering, and some messy, needy sex in the bathtub 🛁✨

The steam rising from the bathtub makes light work of your weary muscles, menthol vapors kissing up your spine, soothing the knots scattered across the length of your back. You were in dire need of this, after the plight of a day you’d endured. A couple of hours in the studio had quickly spiraled into a six hour-session, with nothing to show for it but a lousy sixteen measures of brass ensembles — and by the good grace of your talent and patience, the artist has requested you drop in for their session again.

The thought makes you want to drown.

Instead, you opt to curl into yourself, softly pressing your cheek into your knee, watching the spindles of warmth waft up from your well earned bubble bath. In retrospect, the weight of your day didn’t fall solely on this new client — if you’re being honest, they actually had a lot of potential. You wouldn’t mind having your name tethered to a couple of their hits — but Tom had just returned home from a three month long shoot, and you’ve only been graced the luxury of his presence for less than 24 hours. Any time that isn’t being spent with him feels blasphemous, but since he has yet to return from his unknown whereabouts, you seized the opportunity to flush out as much irritability as possible before he returned.

You didn’t know just how tired you were until you were woken up.

A half an hour passes before you’re tousled from your dreamless slumber by a docile touch, familiar digits scaling the curve of your spine before they take a detour at the nape of your neck, carefully parting stray strands of hair to either side of your frame.

“Tom?” You hum, dulcet tones wafting through the steam akin to a dream as it ebbs from the rim of your subconscious.

“Yes, darling?” He muses, entranced by the frothy remnants of your bath soak as he dips his fingertips into the water.

“I missed you today.” You melt into his touch, allowing your head to fall to the side and survey his attire. His hair is all tousled, chestnut locks sprouting from the bottom of his backwards strewn baseball cap, and those honey-dipped hues you adore so much are creased with concern. You want nothing more than to soothe them away with the pad of your thumb, and so you indulge yourself, reaching over the edge of the tub as you continue to ramble. “I started the day already praying for it to be over with, and somehow, every single inconvenience fathomable decided to fall onto my lap. I mean — who the fuck needs seven different french horn tracks in an overture? A real band barely needs one.” Tom’s nodding along to your ramblings, but you both know that he doesn’t fully under the lengths of your frustration — just as you’ll never truly understand the inner workings of his own career. “The only thing keeping me together was the thought of coming home to you.”

“I’m so sorry, my love,” He coos, and continues to caress your back, working out all of the knots that the steam couldn’t relieve. “If it’s any consolation, I was only running late because I had to stop and buy some pancetta on the way home.”

“Don’t apologize. I assumed you would be back since all your stuff is still here.” You tease, mirroring his bemused smile, letting his world seep into your slowly booting brain. “Pancetta…” Not many people knew this, not even Tom before his first attempt, but the boy could whip up a mean bowl of pasta. You remember floundering across the bed the night before, identical to a little kid throwing a tantrum, moaning over just how badly you were craving carbonara. Silly of you to think that he’d take your melodramatic request in stride. “Are you-“

His enamored gaze is answer enough, but he pairs it with a chaste kiss to your forehead that has you nuzzling into his touch. “Only the best for my lil’ lady.”

You show a mere fraction of your appreciation with a swift, flurry of kisses over his cheekbones, pulling him closer by the downy bundles of his hoodie. Lovedrunk giggles and contented sighs bounce off the tiles before you’re both submerged in a comfortable silence, one that leaves the both of you free to shamelessly examine the other, one clad in their comfy, weatherworn disguise while the other dawns nothing but an enchanted smile. Even with the disparity between your attire, you both end up with flushed cheeks and dopey grins.

Hours, days, years seem to press on until you break the silence with a silly question, one that you ask in hopes of hearing his gentle, candied voice once more — or even better, his laugh. “What would you do if I was as big as a thumbtack? Would you still love me?” You query, a childlike sense of wonderment tinting your sugar-coated sigh.

He takes a second to ponder your questions, taking it into far more consideration than you had in bringing it to fruition. You can’t stifle the tiny puff of air that leaves your lips, the semblance of a chuckle, and Tom, with his wild brow and theatrical ways, whips his head in your direction, sending you a cautionary glare. “I suppose I would…” He starts, only to tap his finger against his bottom lip, drawing the suspense to its boiling point by the time you shove his forearm. “But then again, it doesn’t matter what size you are, there’s no limit to how much I love you.”

“Hmm,” you manage to vocalize. Your heart is now a star, an incandescent ball of fire caged beneath your ribs, and if he hasn’t gathered it by now, then he can bask in the warmth of your smile and know that for him, for him it is the sun.

You have to admit that you got ahead of yourself. One moment, you were binding your lips in a bruising, indulgent union, urging him to bask in the lovelorn rays of light he summoned, but only managing to pull him into the bathtub, fully clothed and unsuspecting. What was once your lukewarm oasis is suddenly a swirling cauldron of spearmint, teatree, and now unmistakable notes of him, sloshing against the edge of the tub as his frame struggles against the latent tide. There’s bound to be one hell of a mess waiting on the bathroom floor, but now that he’s settled in your grasp, you see no reason to fret just yet.

“Y/N.” His voice is deadpan, which can mean one of two things — he’s either overwhelmed with joy, or exhibiting a great deal of restraint in not drowning you right then and there. You choose to cancel out the latter, and offer the best attempt at innocence your babydoll eyes could muster, peering at him through your lashes with a teeth-rotting gleam.

“What?” You ask simply. His eye starts to twitch, and you only double down on your facade. “I just wanted to be closer to you.” Wading through the newly shallow body of water, half of its contents now dispersed across the tile floor, you make light work of his soggy hoodie, sloughing it over his head as he grumbles beneath it, giggling when it catches against that razor-sharp jawline of his.

“Well, you are very close now.” You notice how his voice drops down an octave, and you’re embarrassed to admit just how quickly the coil in your stomach tightens at the sound of it, how it already aches to be pulled taut. 

Tom seems unsuspecting enough when he captures your lips once again, his brims as delicate as baby’s breath against your own, tentative as they glide in a sultry dance. He doesn’t need to coax a confession out of you, the truth is already there, nestled in your urgent, needy pressure, in the whimpers threatening to spill into his lips. He’ll indulge in this little game for a moment longer — where you pretend that you aren’t desperate for his touch, and he pretends that he isn’t just as desperate to provide it — but once you fumble into his lap, clumsily grasping for more, and more, and even more of him, his resolve begins to crumble.

“I need you.” you whisper into the hollow of his mouth, golden-tongued and virtually earnest, coaxing a trembling sigh from the back of his throat.

He hums back, contented, basking in the intoxicating warmth of your silhouette, tracing the curve of your breasts with his knuckles. “Long day, my love?”

“Mhmm,” You demonstrate your point with a wistful sigh,  enveloping his great hands with your smaller ones, coating them in languid kisses until there was no skin left untouched.

You’re just too fucking cute, he muses. He can never say no to you, not even in jest.

Two of his slender digits roam the valley of your stomach, knuckles ghosting over your navel in their listless descent before they venture between your thighs, surveying just how badly you really need him. He dips his middle finger between your folds, tender and slick with your arousal, and emits a husky groan as he traces a steady line between your entrance and the spot just below your clit, ghosting your little bundle of nerves with each taunting caress. “You’re already soaked, my love. This all for me?” He coos, nudging your jaw with the tip of his nose, pressing a wet, open mouthed kiss against the column of your neck.

“All for you,” You sigh, digging your nails into the broad planes of his shoulder. “Please, Tom, please touch me.”

He finally spares you, thumb sloppily circling your clit as he plunges two digits into your opening, welcoming the lithe intrusion with a warm, velvety embrace. You slump into his embrace, nipples straining hard against the soaked fabric of his t-shirt, and raggedly whimper as he starts to work you open. The reminder of your nude form plastered against his clothes, albeit soaking wet, summons another pool of wetness to your core. You’re flooded with thoughts of delectable anguish — of denim kissing your hips, dragging against your bundle of nerves, as he ravages your bare little cunt, proving that you’re so desperate for his cock that you can barely wait for him to undress.

“Is this all you needed, baby? My fingers? You wanted me to stretch this pretty little cunt out?” He can’t stop the filthy words tumbling from his lips, especially not when your tiny mewls of pleasure are flooding his ears — you’re just so soft and pliant under his touch, so eager to be filled to the brim, it’s intoxicating to know that you’ll take anything he has to offer you. “I’ve got you, baby. I’m gonna give you everything you need. Gonna have you spilling all over my fingers and then — fuck! — then i’m gonna fill you up with my cock. How does that sound?

“Y-yeah,” You’re rutting against his palm at this point, grinding down to meet each thrust, to feel impossibly closer, fuller, ambling toward an orgasm that is already barreling toward you. As he finds a new angle, the pads of his fingers nudge against your g-spot, and the heel of his hand careens over your clit with such a delicious pressure that your thighs begin to quake. “‘M so close.” You whine, prompting him to punctuate each thrust with a curl of his fingers, dragging your orgasm from the pit of your stomach.

“Then let go, baby. Let go for me.” You need no further persuasion, your eyes squeezing shut as you teeter off the edge, with nothing but a raspy, desperate string of obscenities, clawing at the slope of his shoulders, and bathing his hand in sultry waves of nectar as it spills from your weepy little hole. His fingers are trapped between your fluttering walls, working you through your climax with nimble, tentative thrusts, stretching each wave of pleasure out until you’re trembling over little ripples.

“That’s it, that’s my girl.” You feel so small beneath his gaze, teeming with endless pools of adoration, like you’re a freshwater clearing and he’s parched. It nearly distracts you from his fingers as they slip from your opening, but each receding wave of bliss is tethered to him, so you groan at the loss of contact. Your walls flutter hopelessly around nothing, chasing the delicious stretch of his digits in their absence, but you’re instantly qualmed by the sound of his zipper being pulled down, no doubt freeing himself from the waterlogged confines of his jeans.

“Can I?” You sink your hands into what little water still remains in the tub, hooking your fingers through the belt loops of his jeans, but he swats your shaky hands away, adamantly shaking his head as a small frown of confusion forms between your brows. “You don’t wanna take ‘em off?”

“This is about you, my love.” He whispers, his free hand smoothing over the small of your back, stroking the patch of dew-ridden skin with his thumb. “And right now, all I wanna do is keep my promise.”

“You’re so good to me,” You whisper just above his lips, leaning back into his touch, peering between your bodies to survey his ministrations. You’re still a bit dazed from your first, earth-shattering orgasm, but the prospect of another has you buzzing with excitement, and Tom knows that look well enough to speed up his course of action.

Pearly veneers sink into the swell of your bottom lip at the mere sight — his cock is beyond compare. Even as its impatiently pulled through the opening of his jeans, it’s put on a mouth-watering display as he leisurely pumps himself, smearing tiny pearls of precum across his flushed, leaky tip with each upstroke. He’s far too enticing, far too pretty with his rosy cheeked, droopy-eyed charm, to resist, and you’re quick to replace his hand with your own, curling your fingers around the base and mimicking a couple teasing pumps before guiding him to your entrance.

Tom spreads his legs a little wider to accommodate you, the sensation of wet denim rubbing against your thighs, knocking your legs farther apart, causes a soft whimper to fall from your lips. It doesn’t take long for you to align the head of his cock with your entrance, teasing him with a couple of lascivious drags through your folds before you sink onto his length, reigniting the remnants of your last orgasm as inch after delicious inch prods your tender walls apart. By the time he bottoms out, you’re nothing but a trembling pile of limbs, and his lips seek out your own just to muffle your staggered breaths with a burning kiss.

You allow yourself a couple of seconds to adjust — no matter how or which way you take him, he still pushes up every crevice of your insides, demanding every square inch of your velvety heat. A wild flurry of crimson blossoms across the high planes of your cheeks as Tom nuzzles his forehead against your own, brushing his nose against yours, coaxing a melodious string of giggles from your chest while you scrunch up your nose. He presses a chaste kiss to the corner of your lips and smiles against the spot. “You look so pretty like this, my love. With that gorgeous smile of yours, and that pretty little pussy squeezing my cock.” You feel like you’ve got whiplash, trying to come to terms with how obscene he can be under such tender movements. “Just wanna turn you over and bury myself inside. See how tight you feel when you’re folded in half.” His hands reach down to rub gentle, circular motions into the small of your back, and you can’t help but pulse around him at the juxtaposition.

Once the uncomfortable stretch of his girth melts into pleasure, you finally start to work yourself over his length, and you swear you can feel every gorgeous ridge and vein of his cock as you rise up to the tip, only to plunge back down with a impish yelp, setting a clumsy, needy pace that certainly gets the job done. You don’t really find your rhythm until Tom helps you out, sinking his fingers into the supple curve of your ass, orchestrating a hard, punishing pace as he drives up into your sopping cunt, meeting you in the middle with each thrust.

All at once, the bathroom is washed in a crude symphony, the combination of your heavy panting and slapping skin intermingles with the shallow splash of water as it laps against the edge of the tub, punctuating the sinful drag of his length, and how the tip pounds against your furthest wall as you impale yourself onto him. You can feel another orgasm start to build, and since Tom has made it his solemn vow to not only study, but master, every little, scrumptious detail of your body, he senses it as well. 

“You got another one for me?” He asks between labored pants. His own orgasm is starting to peak over the horizon, following in the blazing trail you’ve set, you can tell by the way a thin sheen of sweat starts to build against his hairline, and his brows almost meet in the middle, as if the feeling of your pussy pulsing around his cock is unfathomable. He uses the grip he has on your waist to take control, using one hand to scale up the breadth of your back, and as his palms leave a blistering trail up, up, up your sides, he pulls you flush against his chest, attempting to plant his feet against the floor of the bathtub, 

He needs the leverage to piston his hips up into your own, to pound into your greedy hole at an unyielding pace — to keep his promise — and as you start to feel the tell tale edge of your climax cresting over your weary frame, you spoil his shoulder with sweeping, butterfly kisses and flood his mind with sweet, sweet nothings, luring him to the brink with the same dulcet tones you know drive him wild.

His hips stutter into your own, and before the words can even exit your lips, you’re dragged to the edge of bliss with a couple of rough, uncompromising thrusts that have you wildly spasming around his length. He joins you almost immediately, throbbing against your sensitive walls as he fills you to the brim, driving the mixture of your arousal further into you as he fucks you through your orgasm. 

Once he pulls out, he’s quick to wrap you up in a soothing embrace, planting kisses over every acre of skin he can get his lips on, but you’re too focused on the trail of cum leaking down your thighs to really indulge him, curiosity getting the better of you as you gently weave your arm between your bodies and collect the wetness on your thighs. You swear you can feel the rumble of his chest once you pop your fingers into your mouth, humming around the sodden digits, making a spectacle out of the addicting elixir pooling on your tongue, but his glimmer of reinvigorated stamina is put to rest by the sight of your drowsy, half-lidded stare.

“Why don’t we get you dried off? Then I can start dinner.” He hums against your cheek, punctuating his suggestion with yet another chaste kiss. It’s genuinely like he can’t get enough, and neither can you as you sleepily nod.

“Will you wake me up when it’s ready?” You sigh, teetering on the edge of slumber once more.

“Of course, my love.”

[imaslutforremusandsirius]

Foolish girl

Warning: 18+

Rushed and random, have fun lovely ppl, might make a part 2 idk yet

Please don’t be offended if i dont inlclude you on a taglist, bc i really have no clue how that works, so i decided to note make one lmao

You’re standing infront of the entrace of Grimmauld Place. You hadn’t seen Regulus in weeks now, too scared to ask Sirius why he wasn’t showing up in school. But you couldn’t take it anymore, you needed to know. Just as you were about to knock, the door opened, Regulus standing in the doorway. Your hand hovered midair, surprised. Regulus looked tired, dark circles under his eyes, mouth in a thin line. He scanned your face with an unreadable expression , before he breathed out, opening the door further. Stepping inside you followed him up the staircase, right into his room.

No words were spoken, when you took a seat on his bed, placing your bag on the floor. He stood with his back to you, looking out of the massive window. The candles made his face glow, dark cicles even more prominent in the dim, orange light.

His voice was hoarse when he spoke, as if he hadn’t spoken in days. “Do you need something?”

Getting up from your position you stood behind him, shaking your head. He was watching you from the reflection on the window, a solemn expression on his elegant face.

“Did Sirius send you?”

You shook your head again, eyes apologetic. He still hadn’t recovered from Sirius leaving him on his own. He dropped his head, an unamused puff of air escaping his nose. He murmured something under his breath, making the door slam shut, before his hand shot out, gripping your throat to slam you against the window right infront of him. His eyes were icy, a shiver running down your body at the tight grip of his long fingers.

“Do you really want to be here while I’m in this state?”

Your voice trembled as you spoke, “What state?”

He gave you a forced smile, lips curling to show his teeth. “What state? I’m thinking about beating you bloody. About taking away your ability to breathe. About slicing you with my wand.”

Your breath hitched, pulse quickening. You wanted to say something, anything. “Reg-”

His hands pressed harder. “I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

You clamped your mouth shut again, forcing yourself to hold eye contact.

“I want to fuck you. I want to taste your blood. I want to fuck your mouth. I want to ruin you for everyone else.”

He let you breath again and you gasped at the weight of his confession rather than the lack of air, heart heavy with an indescribable feeling.

“I’m gonna hurt you more than I will make you happy. My love isn’t pleasant. Do you understand?”

He crossed his arms behind his back, face guarded again.

“Yes, Regulus.”

Pressing his hips to yours he brushed his lips on your forhead gently, whispering. „Foolish girl, you should have never come here.“

---

“Don’t tell me that you can’t take more, you filthy girl.”

Regulus was relentlessly making you cum, he didn’t care how, as long as you came. On his fingers, on his lips, on his cock, on his toys. He simply wanted to see you cry out with pleasure, wanted you to make him forget about his life for a second. Wanted to see your skin break with the sharpness of his teeth.

“I can’t I cant please don’t-”

Regulus, frowned. “Yes you can, pet. Now be good and cum.”

You cried pathetically as you came for the third time this night. Tremors made you shake all over as you writhed, trying to get away from Regulus’ hands.

“That was it? Oh no, little girl, you can cum better than that!”

You balked at that, recoiling but he grabbed you by your hips pulling you up on your knees to fuck you from behind. Sliding in with one trust he pounded without mercy, not giving you time do adjust. He was consumed with the feel of your skin against his own, leaning over your back to bite at the skin between your shoulderblades. The bite left an imprit of his sharp canines, the skin slightly breaking under the force as you cried out in pain, which turned into pleasure instantly as you accidentally pushed back against his cock. 

“Mmm that’s it, fuck my cock...”, Regulus groaned, kissing your throat. without warning his hand came down hard on your tits and you came again, losing your voice while you screamed for mercy.

“Mercy, Reg please, I can’t!”

“I warned you ah- don‘t expect me to stop now. Take. It. Like a good. Girl.” He fucked you with every word, nails digging into the skin of your belly, hands pushing against the forming buldge. 

Pulling you up by your tangled hair he pressed your back against his chest, hands pressing on your throat. You dug your nails into his arms as you tried to pry his hands away, but he kept pressing harder.

„You breathe when I let you.“

With that he shoved you down again, hands on your clit and you came for the fifth time in a row. He pulled out dragging yoour head to hang off the bed and put his cock in your parted mouth, pushing in until his heavy balls rested on your chin. You choked, pushing against his thighs but he paid you no mind.

„Filthy girl, drooling all over my cock“, he sneered, „I can see me all the way down your throat.“

Hands snaking between your open legs he pushed his middle and ring finger inside and fucked your sore cunt, raw with all the orgasm he gave you before. Youwere hurting, tears dripping down your flushed cheeks, voice breaking as you sobbed. Pleading to let you rest.

He pushed into you one last time before he cursed and came down your throat, fucking your mouth full of his hot cum. The feeling overwhelmed you and you came again, mewling around his cock, body curling to protect itself.

Regulus pulled you up by your hair, pushing his forehead against yours as he panted and watched you swallow. Smirking breathlessly he pressed a kiss on your mouth for the first time that night.

„Don‘t think I‘m done with you yet.“

[kweebtrash]

Kinktober #3: Face Sitting (M)

Pairing: Hongseok x 2nd Person Reader

Summary:  Some kinda realer scenarios where not everyone can cum easily or have those magic orgasms but face sitting/riding may do the trick. Also Honk is excited for his victory

Word Count: 2k

A/N: I know kinktober is supposed to be S p i c y TM but idk, sometimes i just want some sugar, spice, and everything nice.

Kinktober Prompts by @immabiteyou​

You always had a problem with cumming. You had no idea what it was but nothing, no matter how hard you tried, took you over that edge. There may have been some small tremors here and there and you definitely werent asking for an over the top bone rattling orgasm at this point. Just ANYTHING would be fine. It always weighed on the back of your mind, especially knowing that Hongseok tried his absolute fucking damndest to make sure you felt good.

And you did. The way his strong hands roamed over your body, spreading fire throughout your skin, always made shivers zip throughout. His kisses were full of healing magic; those soft, sweet plump lips could cure any bad day but also ignite the dirtiest of feelings to where you ended up clawing at each other. His body-well that was a given- the boy woke up and looked at his abs first thing in the morning, every morning. He was obsessed with being fit (sometimes too obsessed) and there was a prying thought of self consciousness that popped into your head every once in awhile. Comparing the way you looked on his arm to his being in general sometimes made you feel like you werent good enough for him. But that surely couldnt have be part of the problem.

Because here he was, once again devoted to your body and full of determination. He knew you enjoyed fucking, the act of being close to him in of itself was always special and exciting. It was just your stupid body that wouldnt react. It was like your brain was screaming in pleasure but your body was just like ‘meh, gonna take the one thing you desire the most and just not do it’.

Maybe there were a few traumatic things that had to be worked through, sure, but Hongsi was the only man you had every fully trusted to never let you down. He knew almost immediately the first few times you had faked it, and it offended him, but you explained the annoyance at yourself-which was a bit hard to say the least.

“I loved it. I felt great, seriously i did. The only part that was faked was…"the end.”

And why? Because you were used to it. Because it was ingrained in you to do it; always making the man feel like he had done an amazing job-except this time Hongseok actually had. From the first time to the most recent. He never failed but you did.

He wanted honesty from that point on. He wanted to work on things, try everything under the sun; from restraints, to wax, to toys, and positions that were sometimes almost impossible. But it remained a puzzle the two of you couldnt solve. Tonight didnt seem to be any different save for the fact that you had taken up residence on his face like it was a goddamn throne. His tongue was diving so deep inside you, filling you with a nice warm, wet, thickness that made the pit of your stomach clench. He had eaten you out before, that was one of the first things he tried in an attempt to make you cum, but it had never occurred to either of you to actually try face sitting. Why? Who knows. Sometimes the simplest of things slip the mind and perhaps the whole time the two of you had been overthinking it.

But with all the gadgets and gizmos and positions that made you feel like you were in a yoga class thrown out the window, you found your nails digging into the wall that you had been supporting yourself on. The scratching forced chips of paint to crumble from the wall though it was nothing compared to how fast the headboard was thumping against it. Your thighs were burning but you continued rolling your hips like it was your job. Hongseok spurred you on as he seemed to enjoy this just as much as you were. Perhaps he was enjoying it much more.

He was growling, sometimes snarling, as he paired flickers of his tongue with hot open mouth kisses to your heat and nibbles to any sensitive area he could reach, especially the junction of your inner thighs. While your fingers dug into the wall, his dug into your hips, your ass, your back, marring you with the blunt indentations of his short nails and leaving streaks of red in their wake. You were sure he had barely come up for air and the one second you pulled away to make sure he was okay he forced you right back down to his lips with his nose brushing against the bundle of nerves that had awakened with desire. You were feeling all of your lower muscles tighten to the point where your legs almost felt numb but it was all worth it.

Hongseok slid his tongue through your folds once more, the tip of it teasing your hole that you though he had finally given a break to. The slow and lazy drags, however, were making you shudder just as much as the fast ones and covered your frame with everlasting tingles. Your free hand gripped onto his sweat soaked hair as you tried to level yourself. Holy shit, was this really it? Was this really the time were it would happen? Oh god, you werent ready. Well you were- in the sense that you had been waiting for this for YEARS with him-but also you werent exactly sure what it would feel like. Would this be one of those tiny ones that just felt like a relaxing exhale or one of those wild porn ones that were so ridiculous? Were you really going to scream in ecstasy and feel like you were going insane? Hell yes you were.

“H-Hong,” you choked out as he suctioned his lips around your clit while his thumbs spread your lower lips wide apart. “I think it-it’s happening.”

His eyes flung open, wide and flickering with undertones of amber within the dim beside lamp’s light. “Whats happening?” The words came out in muffled jumbles as he refused to pull away.

“You know…it. The…the thing.”

He finally pulled away as bewilderment spread across his face. “You mean like you feel like youre gonna cum?”

“I-i think so? I mean…im assuming that’s why everything feels so tense, like im gonna explode. That’s what happens right?”

“I think its different for everyone. I get tense too, but then i feel all warm and get kinda snuggly and hold onto you tighter.” He did and it was the cutest fucking thing ever.

“Well im hoping this is it.” You sighed.

“Dont start thinking about it now or you’ll lose focus. Just concentrate on me, babe. Just like before, yeah? Can you ride my face some more?”

“You really like this dont you?” You peered down at him and giggled.

“Baby, you were literally born to sit on my face, i swear it. It sounds stupid and fuckboy-ish, I know, but Ive never wanted this so bad until i felt you grind against my lips.”

Red flushed your cheeks and you looked away in an effort to hide your sudden shyness. Hongsi just chucked and placed the gentlest of kisses to your clit. “On me. Focus.” He reminded you again and you exhaled deeply, letting your mind go as much as it had before. Through the painful numbness in your bent legs that surrounded his head, you pushed on, wiggling your hips in a teasing way that earned a small smack to your ass. The sting made you jump but feel ever so much naughtier. It kick started your chaotic grinds again which welcomed the harsh thrusts and lewd slurping. It was almost embarrassing to hear how wet your were from both your cum and his tongue but in a weird way it gave you a sense of pride and reassurance that this felt amazing.

More pressure built up within your system and you found yourself short of breath now. You swallowed hard and tried to recoup but it was all for naught as your heart thundered so loud you could hear it in your ears. You had managed to make the headboard slam harder against the wall, the top of the filigreed wood leaving its own mark in the paint much like your nails had. Your thighs tightened and you could feel him smile into your skin. He fucking loved the way you seemed so close to crushing his skull if you actually could. The yanking of his hair to shove him closer, as if it were possible at this point, also had him lifting his head as your hips dipped and the very tip of his tongue hit something inside you just as it curled.

And then you let go. Almost so fast from everything that Hongseok had to press his hands into your lower back to prevent you from tossing yourself back completely. You were shaking, your knees digging into the pillow beneath his head. Your hands that had found safety in the wall and his hair now flailed and searched for something to hold onto but it was like they couldnt. You had lost all control. Your brain was fuzzy. Your body was fuzzy. But best of all you felt wave after wave of clench and release with your first full orgasm.

He finally let you go and you collapsed to the wayside instantly curling against his side. He pulled you into his arms and speckled your head with kisses as he squeezed you tight. He was patient and waited for you to come down though he was absolutely beaming with pride. “That was…not how i imagined it would feel like but holy shit.” You managed to finally say.

“Fuck yeah!!” He said victoriously and he raised his hand for a high five. You couldnt help but laugh at his dorkiness and return the gesture. The excitement and happiness between you two was unfathomable. You didnt want to say that this was the best night with him just because you finally came. There had been plenty of other times where he made you feel so perfect and precious and completely in love with him that you almost cherished that more. But tonight was definitely like top five material.

“Im happy i could finally do this for you…” He returned to seriousness and you sighed as you began to wipe away traces of your cum from his face.

“Im sorry if you felt like i put pressure on you. I never meant-”

“Nah, it wasnt you. It was me. You know how i can sometimes be a perfectionist and i know its not like the end all be all of our relationship but…i dont know. I always felt like you deserved to feel good and happy. Like you just deserved…everything.” He shrugged and pretended to take more interest in plucking away a stray hair from your shoulder.

The guilt you had accumulated over the years suddenly lessened and you realized that it wasnt just about making you feel good sexually. It was actually, as cliche as it sounded, about bringing you two closer together in devotion and fulfilling a fantasy. The warmth in your body returned but for a different and cheesy romance movie kinda reason and you snuggled closer to his chiseled chest.

“Thank you…” You whispered. “For not being annoyed or giving up on me and helping me work through whatever was holding me back.”

“It’s what im here for, right? I think i’d be a shitty boyfriend if i wasnt.”

“Well you got that right.” You tilted your head up and kissed him gently, tasting the aftermath on his lips. “You better go wash your face before it gets all sticky.”

“That can wait. Besides i was kinda wondering if….” The both of you looked down at his cock, knocking your heads in the process. It never failed for the two of you to have an idiotic moment but he definitely needed to be rewarded after this.

[bates--boy]

[Nazz] Hey I haven’t heard from you in a couple days. You okay?

        Has it been a couple days? Peter asked himself, the question triggering a nauseating wave of deja vu as he checked the date on the upper corner of his phone. Time really did work weirdly like that, in that it felt like over a week has passed yet it had only been an hour since--

       Since writing the--

      Peter closed his eyes and inhaled deeply and slowly through his nose. Well, that would explain why his bed hadn’t smelled rank, yet. He picked his phone up from the bedside table and turned over, watching the cursor blink in the message box. He should tell Naseem everything was fine. Things would be fine eventually, right? And in the meantime, Nazz shouldn’t be worrying about Peter when he had that big play to prepare for and his kids to raise and his wife to constantly make up with.

          [Peter] yeah im g|

          Except Peter was sure that Naseem was a mind reader, because he knew that the man would pick up on something off about Peter and come swooping in to the rescue. And even if he wouldn’t, Naseem would probably figure something was up when he or the other MizFists haven’t seen or heard from him in days. He hit backspace and tried some of that being honest with what he felt.

          [Peter] no. i tried to dig deep into my head and something bad came up.

          [Peter] idk what but ive been tranked up and lying in bed and i hate myself and i feel scared.

         He immediately regretted hitting send, and wished he could fall asleep and wake up to this entire thing being a dream, but his phone chirped with a new incoming message.

          [Nazz] I’ll be there soon

[Peter] you dont need to

[Peter] ill be fine. i promise

[Peter] i prefer if you dont. ill prbly be asleep when you come

[Peter] we can talk tomorrow

[Peter] stop ignoring my messages buttmunch!!!

          He groaned when he saw that read check mark pop up on his last message and let his arm fall back down on the bed. He draped the other one across his eyes. “This is so stupid...” And pointless. Now, he had to drag his ass out of bed to open the door, probably brush his teeth or at least swish some mouth rinse in it for a minute or two (or five. Good god, his teeth felt fuzzy), expand energy on making tea or whatever Naseem was in the mood for, and...

         “Pete! Wake up!”

         “Hmm... Mmno...” Peter mumbled and turned to his other side, yawning and pulling the pillow over his head. As sleep started to pull him under, the memories started flooding in. He yanked the pillow off and looked over his shoulder, up to Naseem standing above him with his arms crossed.

        “... How did you get in?”

         “You left the door unlocked,” Naseem answered.

         The door was unlocked? How? Peter hadn’t even been out of bed for the past couple days. The only thing he could remember about the door through the haze of semi-overdosing on mood stabilizers was Jack incessantly whining-- oh.

          “Is... Is Jack back inside?”

         “Yeah, he followed me back in,” Naseem crossed his arms. “Come on, Pete, get out of bed.”

          “Hmm... No, I’m good.” Peter put the pillow back on his head.

          “Peter...”

          “You can use your father voice all you want, it’s not gonna work.” 

          In the quiet, Peter listened for Naseem’s receding footsteps. Instead, Naseem asked, “How long do you plan to stay in bed?”

          “Until... I don’t know, until I’m not so depressed? Heh, two weeks, I guess.”

          “You know that staying in bed is going to make your Depression worse!”

          “Yeah, that’s the beauty of mental illness, ain’t it?”

          Peter heard Naseem’s feet shuffling, and he held his breath waiting for the sounds of his departure. Naseem sighed. “Fine. Fine! Stay in bed, then.”

          “Thank you,” Peter called out through the pillow. He started to drift off again when his ears picked up on the shifting and shuffling of clothes. He yanked the pillow back off, staring wide-eyed as Naseem tugged his coat off. “Uuuuuh, what are you doing?!”

          “I’m staying in bed with you.”

           Peter moved the pillow out of the way and pushed himself up on his forearms. “Yeah, what the hell do you mean?”

        “I mean that I’m going to stay in bed with you and bug you until you’re ready to get back to normal.” I could use a vacation, anyway.”

          You have got to be joking, Peter was going to ask as Naseem tossed the coat onto the foot of the bed and took his shoes off. But nope! Naseem vaulted right over Peter to land into the empty side next to Peter, landing on his back and folding his hands behind his head. “Ha ha, very funny, Nazz...”

         Nazz cocked an eyebrow at him and managed to tone down his smirk to make it look like...

         “...You’re not actually serious, are you?” Peter asked.

          “Oh, yeah, yeah, I am.” Naseem wiggled a little to get more comfortable. “We can’t have ya ghosting us after the first time. You had us worried sick. Soooo, I’m gonna keep an eye on you~!” He tapped a finger on Peter’s nose. 

         “Plus, this would be a great time for us to chill! We can catch up on music stuff and health stuff, gossip, throw ideas off each other...”

          Oh, this was a game. This was definitely a game. A game Peter was too tired to play into, but he can smell a silly bluff from a mile away. “Your wife and kids? You’re just gonna leave them for two whole weeks?”

          Naseem shrugged. “I can call them and have them come over. We could make it a family thing.”

           Peter smirked. “Uh huh. I bet your job would be really keen on this idea of yours.”

          “Oh, yeah, my job...” Naseem reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He held it at an angle so that Peter could see perfectly what he was doing: opening his contacts, scrolling through the list, stopping at a name and tapping on it. Christ, he was really into this weird game of chicken --

          Naseem put the phone to his ear. Peter could hear the other end ringing. 

          “Nazz....”

          “Hello, Little Wonders Theatre, how may I help you?”

         “Hey, Ellie, it’s Nazz! Can you patch me through to Paul? I have a family issue going on.”

         “Nazz!” Peter grabbed Naseem’s arm. “Nazz!” 

         Naseem stared expectantly at Peter, keeping the phone to his ear.

         Peter sighed. “Fine, Nazz! Fine! I’ll get out of bed in a little bit, okay? Just... don’t do this.”

          “Hello, this is Paul.”

          “Hey, it’s Nazz. Listen, a family thing popped up while I was on break, I’ll explain later. I might need an extra half hour or so to settle things here. You mind covering for me until then and I can do closing for you?”

          “Sure, man, I got you.”

          Naseem winked at Peter. “Great, man, thanks! I’ll try to make it back as soon as I can.”

          Peter watched Naseem end the call and switch to the clock app. “...Why did you do that?”

         “Because you said you’d get out of bed in ‘a little bit’, so I assume you’re planning on taking a nap? Which sounds good, to be honest.” Naseem only had to peek up at Peter to see the way his eyelids were growing heavier and his body was sinking lower to the bed. “Yeah, so, I’m gonna stay right here until you wake up and I can see you getting out of bed.”

         Switching to the timer, Naseem asked, “How long do you want to nap?”

         Peter looked away as his eyes already glazed over with sleep. “Iumno,” he slurred. “Half hour?”

        “Half hour it is.”

        Timer set, the sky already darkening with winter clouds and the coming of an early night, Naseem refolded his hands behind his head and watched as Peter burrowed into his duvet and pulled it up to his neck. Peter was already out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

          Naseem lied there, quietly watching the sleeping man to indulge in the nasally snore and a face glowing with what Naseem hoped was a pleasant dream. Naseem didn’t remember Peter being such a drooler in his sleep, but the rivulet of saliva tempered his desire to press his lips on Peter’s not at all. Naseem turned onto his side and came closer, resting an arm under his head.

        “You know, sweetheart,” Naseem murmured to this man who, just by looking like the purest cherub in the world by merely sleeping, made him ache with all sorts of desires both protective and carnal and simply weakened Naseem and left him so undone, “I had another reason for coming over. I wanted to talk to you about something. About us. I like you, Peter. Like you, like you.”

        Naseem chuckled under his breath so he wouldn’t wake Peter. “Oh, my god, I sound like a middle schooler. But that’s besides the point. I want you, and when Sheer and I figure this thing out, I want us to become a thing. I have to wait until we talk to the therapist, but--”

       He snapped his mouth closed when Peter shifted his head on the pillow and mumbled something, and released his breath when Peter resumed snoring. He hooked his fingers under Peter’s chin, bringing Peter’s lower face out from beneath the duvet so he could run his thumb along Peter’s bottom lip. Just like the last time Naseem watched Peter sleep, a hint of a smile shaped Peter’s mouth.

       “But I don’t know how long I can wait. I still will, though, because you’re worth it.” He brought his face closer. “Even though you drive me crazy, you little weirdo.”

        He kissed Peter’s forehead, and felt Peter’s eyelash flutter when he kissed the eyelid. He angled his head to kiss Peter’s cheek and, pulling back, stared at Peter’s mouth. The lips parted open, teeth white and almost perfectly straight except for that slight gap in the front that one had to really watch for in order to spot. Naseem could already tell that their mouths would fit perfectly together, and if he slipped his tongue inside Peter’s in this very moment, he would taste everything that he could ever want. 

        Instead, he content himself with pressing closer to Peter, wrapping an arm around him and sliding a leg just slightly over Peter. He craned his neck to rest his chin on top of Peter’s head, and was lulled to sleep by Peter’s even and warm breaths tickling his neck. If he were going to try to kiss Peter again, it had to be when he was awake. And coming to his senses, shedding whatever fear and reservations he has, and giving a wholehearted, enthusiastic yes.

       It can wait. 

[trashmouthfuckingtozier]

hey so i have this reddie headcannon/prompt that the reason R+E was carved into the kissing bridge because they actually kissed on the bridge but then they heard someone coming like idk the losers club or bowers gang and had to leave before they could carve their initials and ritchie came back later to do it. leaving the cinema i actually thought thats what happened till i came to tumblr. i would write it myself but i dont think i'd gonna get around to it very soon

ah hi hello this is the cutest motherfucking thing

warnings: none really? they’re both closeted. I’m not going to mention the events of Ch2 because even though I have the chance to make it sad, I just… don’t want to.

I wasn’t sure where the carving fell in the timeline because I have the memory of a walnut, so I wrote it in like. The summer following the first confrontation with It?

word count: 1.01k

Richie revels in the sweet little giggles that he pulls from Eddie as he spins his wild tales. They’re walking along the Kissing Bridge, a good mile or two ahead of their friends. The others started their commute long after Richie and Eddie had slipped out of the Denbrough’s kitchen after the group’s lunch.

The idea comes upon him suddenly, his near instant stop has Eddie turning around with a concerned look in his eye. He tugs lightly on Richie’s hand, but he won’t move, almost as though he’s glued to the spot. He feels his cheeks begin to hurt from how widely he’s smiling, and knows that, to Eddie, he must look insane.

“I have an idea.”

Eddie makes a face at him, one that screams ‘what the fuck do you want now,’ and Richie laughs a little at it, thriving off of Eddie’s annoyance. His hand is tugged on again, but he just shakes his hand and pulls Eddie closer.

“You have plenty of ideas, Richie, that doesn’t mean any of them are ever good.”

Richie feigns being wounded, sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes dramatically. The sigh that comes in response is motivation enough to step it up even more by falling straight onto the ground, hand pressed over his heart.

“To be maimed by my own lover! The death rattle is upon me, my dear boy, listen,” he exaggerates a wheeze and reaches out to Eddie, pouting, “I only have one request, Eddie.”

Eddie plays along, taking his hand to kneel beside him. They’re both grinning so widely it’s almost painful, but they’re taking their act seriously.

“What is it, Richie?”

Richie motions him to come closer, dry coughing a few times. Eddie rolls his eyes, but leans down anyway, drawing close enough that Richie only has to whisper in Eddie’s ear. He takes a deep breath, whispering, 

“Tell your mother… she was the best lay I ever had.”

Eddie shoves him away, shrieking. Richie is quite literally rolling in laughter, taking in Eddie’s expression of offense. He tries to reach up to ask for help standing up, but Eddie only swats his hand away and turns his nose up at him.

“You are a goon, Richie Tozier. A fucking buffoon. I hate you so much, I swear to god-”

Richie smiles like he’s been doped up, eyes almost in the shapes of hearts behind his glasses. Eddie’s still raving beside him, but Richie can barely hear him speaking over the sound of his own heart beating. Eddie must notice the absolute besotted look on Richie’s face, because he scoffs and snaps in front of his nose.

“Earth to Richie? What’s going on up there?”

“I’m your goon, Eddie Spaghetti.”

If looks could kill, Richie’s absolutely, one hundred per cent sure that he’d be dead right about now. Eddie shoves him over with his shoulder and rolls his eyes so hard he’s certain they’re going to roll out of his head.

“Sure you are,” Richie beams at that, and Eddie rolls his eyes again but keeps going, “so what was your idea?”

“We should carve our initials here! Like, you know… kiss and stuff first, obviously, but-”

Eddie cuts him off with a soft kiss, contradicting the annoyed words from a few minutes earlier. Richie knows he’s blushing madly, and wishes he didn’t react so easily to stuff like this. Eddie leans in for another kiss and Richie, not one to disappoint, surges into it. It’s messy, and most definitely not their best kiss by any standard, but they don’t really care. It’s theirs. Eddie’s arms wrap loosely around Richie’s neck, which serves to make it a little awkward when Richie smiles hesitantly, digging around in his pockets, and says,

“I, uh. Brought my pocket knife. I’ve kinda wanted to do this for a while.”

Eddie snorts, backing away to allow Richie a little more wiggle room to search amongst all of the stuff he keeps in his pants pockets.

“Jesus, Richie, how much shit do you keep in there? The entire corner store?”

“No, um, my keys, some gum… one of your old inhalers. I don’t think it works anymore, actually. A pack of cigarettes that I bummed off of Bev, I think I stole some of her chapstick, too- oh! There’s my knife.”

Eddie’s temporarily stunned into silence by Richie’s casual confession. An inhaler, even though he doesn’t need it anymore? He hasn’t taken a puff of one in almost a year. RIchie’s moving toward the railing, trying to find a good spot, so Eddie follows him. They squat together, scanning for a clean enough spot to carve in, when they hear the tell-tale sound of bike bells. Beverly’s yelling at Stan, who’s gotten a good ten or fifteen feet ahead of her, and as they get closer, Richie can see why she’s yelling. Stan is waving another pack of cigarettes around like they’re a trophy he won, laughing wildly. Beverly’s yelling gets clearer as they zoom past Eddie and Richie,

“Stanley Uris, I swear on your fucking mother, I’ll end you!”

Richie turns to Eddie apologetically while the other three ride up to them at a much more casual pace, and he whispers,

“I’ll come back later, okay?’

Richie makes good on his promise. Once they’ve had their fun for the day, he rides back. It’s not late enough in the day to be dark yet, but he does need to hurry it along. His mom is probably wondering where he is. Pacing along the side of the bridge, it doesn’t take him long to find the spot he had almost gotten to show Eddie.

Quickly, he carves their initials in the wood, cringing a bit when the R doesn’t come out quite as great as he thought it would. But, it’s theirs. That spot is now all for them, and the thought of it makes him warm inside. He knows he’s going to bring Eddie to look at his handiwork, and he’s going to be really fucking proud of it when he does.

[reigensarataka]

Have you ever made a fic rec list you could link me to?? If not what are ur fave fics???

what’s are ur fave klance fics overall?

do you have some nice fluffy klance fic recommendations? pls i need sustenance

ive been putting this off for so long now bcs i never save/bookmark the fics i read nd i can never remember the titles BUT i managed to dig some of them up so!!!!!!! under the cut bcs its kinda long wuwhwuhw

Cut to the Feeling by usernicole

“Let’s do it again,” Keith says breathlessly. “Here and on every planet we come across. Let’s get married on every planet we can.”“Are you joking?” Lance asks, incredulous. “You really want to get married to me on every planet we land on?”“Yes,” Keith says, voice high pitched and shaky with residual adrenaline. “Yes. Every planet. If it feels like this every time, let’s get married ten, twenty, a hundred times.”

 “Let’s break records. I want the universe to see us and be jealous.”

Or: Five times Keith and Lance get married, and one time they don’t.

my good bitch. my dude. if u havent read this then PLEASE do urself a favor nd read it asap…. like i shit u not this is probs my all time fave and its just them getting married on every planet nd. its just. idk just rly gives u that warm feeling in ur heart u know……

call me, beep me by orphan_account

(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes could very easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?(00:45) What(00:46) The(00:46) Fuck???(00:47) Oh good, you are awake!

where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

a classic from the early fandom days, rly popular so yall probs read it already but text fic nd just. yah its cute…..

A Light In The Dark by usernicole

Far away from his friends at the castle, Keith’s only way of communicating with them is a battered old phone. This is maybe going to be harder than he thought.

A long-distance, friends-to-lovers fic, set during season four.

u might not know of this but i am one huge slut for these kind of fics nd all i gtta say is this shit rly changed my goddamn life (i think there r two parts but im not sure if i read the second one so!!)

blue notes by mothpoem

This laughter, here and now, is hushed, and soft as rain, and Lance can feel it against his face, in warm puffs of air. It’s a laugh reminiscent of a furtive secret, like something only Lance is allowed to see. He watches it run its course in the near-pitch black of the observatory, with starlight gleaming weakly against Keith’s pale face, and that’s right about when Lance’s heart gives a few foreboding throbs, heavy on the bass, as if to say, they’re here (they being romantic feelings for Keith Kogane, Lance’s former mortal enemy and current friend).

Oh, he thinks to himself, with sudden and startling clarity. I’m Fucked, capital F.

its not finished nd i havent even read chap 2 yet but its a rly good take on lances pov from all the moments from s1 (also the garrison *eye emoji*) with keith nd. yeah.. its good……

and we dream of home by mothpoem

“Then come see me,” Lance murmurs, and it makes Keith’s heart pound behind his breastbone. “Us, I mean. Once a week or something? Like mental health check-ins. We can just hang out, or…or go on low-priority, low-stress missions? Scouting, or flower-picking for Coran, or supply runs. Dumb stuff. Just…so we know how you are. I don’t want…I mean, we all miss you. And I don’t want to sound presumptuous, but…it feels like you’re not…not okay, Keith.”

Well, Keith thinks, a little weakly. He never really stood a chance, did he?

“Okay,” he says, right away. No fight. No refusal.

His life is a hell of a lot easier when he lets himself cave under all the ways he wants Lance’s luminous attention, and company, and friendship. All the ways he wants Lance, full stop.

another one of those fics set during s4……… once again nothing to add just. please read it…… i loved this…….. sm………………

Moonset Deep by MilkTeaMiku

  All his life he’d been told to make sure he was never seen – it was what all the children were taught from the moment they were born. Never let a human see you, never fall in love with a human, and most importantly, never kiss one.

For Lance, humans were a mystery. He’d lived beneath the surface of the ocean with his shoal his entire life, and had intended to remain there. He knew the danger humans posed to his kind, and what would happen if he came close to one. That’s why, when he found one drowning, his first instinct was to save him.

He’d never been good at following the rules anyway.

mer au!! i started reading this a rly long time ago and im on chap 27 i think…. but this ones good…….

can we burn it slow by saltylances/stereostars on tumblr

“Sweet dreams, pilot.” A wink. “Make sure not to drool over me too much.”

Keith thrusts his middle finger over his shoulder as he steps out of the room, but he can’t hold back the smile that kicks up the side of his mouth. When he dares a look back, just before the doors are about to slide shut, he sees Lance kiss his fingertips and blow air over his palms at Keith.

It makes Keith wonder if it’s possible to fall any harder.

In which alternating snapshots between Keith and Lance lead to their eventual relationship.

WUH i love anything saaj writes….. a masterpiece…. also please read ‘so what are you waiting for’ too………..

under your feet the dirt turns to gold by laallomri

“I like you,” Lance says in a rush.

Keith blinks.

“That is—” Lance clears his throat, shifting his weight uncomfortably. His hands are still in his pockets, his shoulders still hunched. “I like you—I like-like you. Like, in a more-than-friends-way like you.”

For a long moment Keith can only stare at him, astonishment and disbelief and cautious delight warring for dominance. And then, because he’s an idiot, because he spent a whole goddamn year in a goddamn shack in the middle of the goddamn desert and has no idea how to be a socially competent person, because he’s Keith, he says, “That was a lot of the word ‘like’ in one sentence.”

In which Keith has about a dozen chances at happiness, and sabotages (nearly) all of them.

yummy……….. this one rly hit the spot my dudes……… i think there r 2 parts too!!

Sweet Quiznak by CheckeredCloth

“You’re really into him,” Hunk mutters, and wow, Lance’s face is on fire.  Hunk is killing him.

“Look, read into how you like, Freud, just make sure that if I die Keith knows I totally would’ve mowed his ass like grass.  That way, I can laugh hysterically at his emotionally-constipated expression from the afterlife.”

Or: Lance is badly injured and has a few skeletons in his closet.  Or maybe just the one.

a classic…. one of the first fics i read so i dont rmmbr much but yeah……

Stormchasing by sinelanguage

This isn’t how Lance intended to spend his vacation, chasing after Keith’s premonitions. But here he is, and he’s one hundred percent blaming Keith for all the trouble they’re about to get into. Keith makes bad decision, Lance makes mistakes, and both of them are stuck together on a space pirate adventure neither of them asked for.

if im not wrong i think this is one of those handcuffed together fics… also rly cute……

we’ll make it, you and me by asexualrey

“Keith, if we make it out of this alive, I’m going to kiss you.“ 

the description gives it away….. yall know what tf goin on……..

Public Displays of Affection by VaraderoBeach

Lance held his breath. He knew, at this rate, they’d have two options: fight with what they had (which was Keith’s knife and team spirit) and hope they can skirt by with the help of the locals, or submit and become prisoners to the Galra. Neither situation was ideal. Lance looked to Keith, at his eyes and his eye lashes, the curve of his nose and the pink in his lips. He knew it was bad timing, but he really wanted to kiss Keith before whatever happened, happened.

But when Keith turned his body to face him and said, “Kiss me.” With the same amount of emotion one would say, “Hand me that stapler,” it threw Lance completely off guard.

ft that scene from the winter soldier (i think??) yeah…… good food………

something as true as this by astrolesbian

“You better fucking call me,” Lance says, and reaches out to rest a hand on his shoulder, and smiles, sad and bright all at once. “I’m not taking no for an answer on this one. Okay?”

“Okay,” Keith says.

and lastly yall shld know since this is the THIRD TIME im putting a fic like this on this list that i love this shit nd just….. yeah……….. op snapped

[inkstainedfanfics]

The Inevitability of Our Story

Request: I was listening to Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis himself and I couldn't help but think about Newt while listening to it idk its such a Newt song and then i thought of you and well, it sounds like a possible fic idea ;) ;) I know you have so many requests but i just wanted to put this out there, also to tell you that these kinds of songs remind me of Newt and then you and your amazing stories. Anyway, have a good day!

Word Count: 3,979

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Requested by @dont-give-a-bother but also tagging @red-roses-and-stories @caseoffics @myrtus-amongst-the-stars @ly--canthrope @thosefantasticbeast2 @benniesgalaxy @studyforthreehands @whatinbenaddiction​

                                                  I. For

Newt’s quill scratches against the parchment and he mumbles words under his breath, reading over his manuscript. Thunder outside rumbles, raindrops thump against the glass panes, and you plod over to Newt, dropping into the open spot next to him. He hardly notices as your forearm brushes his lightly, or the way you hum softly before tapping the back of his hand.

“Newt?”

“Yes?” He mumbles, eyes still scanning over his messy handwriting.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yes?” The word is distracted, his attention only half on you. This manuscript is important. He’s almost finished editing his chapter on bowtruckles and other leafy beasts; best friend or not, he doesn’t want to pause his work until he gets through the last page of it.

“Why do mooncalves only emerge during full moons?”

He doesn’t look up from the parchment. “They have an affinity for it.”

“But why?” You question, resting your chin in one hand as you play with the leaf of a potted plant sitting on the table.

Newt glances up at you, wary. “You really want to know?”

You nod, lips puckered in confusion as the leaf turns a shade of blue.

His heart twists, chest warming as he sets down his quill, and Newt shifts, uncomfortable with the sudden change of his heart’s rhythm. “It’s only a theory right now.”

You meet his eyes and smile. “That’s all right. I’d still like to hear what you think.”

Newt tries to ignore the feeling in his chest. “Could it wait a couple of minutes? I’ve almost finished here.”

“I’ll wait.” You say it with another smile, reaching out to squeeze his arm gently.

Though he was unaware of it, Newt has been on the precipice of falling for quite some time. Only a lack of free time had prevented him from considering this, considering asking you on a date. It would really only take a gesture, a small nudge, to knock him off that cliff, to convince him to ask you out.

Your soft squeeze of his arm is that nudge.

He lifts his quill again, throat dry, fully prepared to edit more, but Newt can’t tear his eyes away from the gentle slope of your nose or the way you narrow your eyes at the color-changing leaf.

Three pages of the chapter still need to be edited, but Newt flips the notebook shut, taking a deep breath, praying the strange feeling will disappear after a good night’s rest. “The moon’s a signal to them.”

                                                       II. I

“I’m not kidding you. I really saw him drop the whole bag of them in front of her.” Newt chuckles, taking another sip of his hot chocolate. “His girlfriend?”

“Yep. Poor thing couldn’t say a thing, she was so shocked.” You snort. “Not that I blame her. I’m not sure I’d know how to react to my boyfriend carrying those around.

Newt wonders if he imagines the shy glance you send toward him at the word boyfriend.

You notice the drink in his hand, how empty the mug is. “Want another one?”

Newt swirls the rest of the liquid as he considers your question. The clock reads four fifty-five in the morning. A mistake, staying up so late when he has a meeting at eight with his publisher, the person that’s deciding just how much publicity his book will be given, who it will be marketed to, and how many copies will initially be printed.

He really should be well-rested, should say no and head to bed, managing to earn at least a few hours of sleep before the meeting, but you’re sitting cross-legged across from him in the living room, fuzzy socks falling around your ankles, hands wrapped around a steaming mug of homemade hot chocolate, tendrils of hair continuously falling into your eyes no matter how many times you shove them away.

Beautiful.

“Another would be wonderful.”

You beam at him as you reach for his mug, any nerves, imagined or otherwise, disappearing from your gaze. “Great. D’you remember Laura Zwellger? From potions?”

“Not particularly, no.” He murmurs, watching you pad across the room to fill his mug.

“The one with the penchant for explosives? No? Really?” Sighing, you shake your head. “You don’t remember how she nearly destroyed the entire room by mixing two potions together?”

Newt frowns, trying to remember, but shakes his head. “No, doesn’t ring a bell, sorry.”

You roll your eyes as you step toward him. “Do you remember anything from Hogwarts?”

He reaches out, taking the mug you hand him. “Well, yes.”

“And what,” you ask, as you sit across from him again, “would that be?”

“I remember you.”

The words bring back that shyness, and Newt wonders yet again if he’s imagining it or if he’s really having this effect on you. “Everything?”

He swallows his nerves and smiles at you, though his eyes drop to the floor. “Of course. Hard to forget the most important person, isn’t it?”

                                                    III. Can’t

It’s been two months since Newt’s last meeting with his publisher. He’s busy in his case, working on a chapter involving doxies and their tendency to tear about anything soft when you burst in through the door, shouting and positively terrifying both him and the doxies.

Before he can ask what has you screaming like you are, he’s wrapped up in your arms, breath rushing from his chest as you throw yourself against him.

“I did it!”

He stumbles back a step, arms wrapping around your waist to keep you from falling, an instinct. Yet, when he regains his footing, his arms don’t move.

“Sorry, what?”

You nuzzle your face into his jacket, grinning. “I did it.”

“Escaped a blast-ended skrewt?”

“No,” you say, looking up at him and making a face. “That problem with the growth potion I’ve been working on? I solved it.”

“What did it take?”

You narrow your eyes at him. “No congratulations? No ‘I knew you could do it, you utter genius’? Not even a simple ‘good job’ from you?”

Newt’s aware of the hug, how long it’s gone on, how you should’ve stepped away long ago, but you’re still here, still hanging onto him, and he doesn’t want you to let go.

He smiles, voice quiet. “Congratulations.”

                                                      IV. Help

“I um, have something for you.”

Newt looks over his shoulder at you, stopping the dicing of the lacewings. You’re standing in the doorway of his shed, hands behind your back, leaning against the frame and smiling at him, but your smile isn’t bright like usual, isn’t beaming. Instead, it’s small, flickering, and your eyes dart around the room almost as if… as if you’re nervous.

Newt sets down his knife and turns, grabbing a towel to wipe away the sweat that accumulated on his forehead. “If it’s another letter from the ministry, I don’t think I want to see it right now.”

You smile at the joke, one stemming from the various letters begging him to return to his office job. “No, no good news like that, I’m afraid.”

“What a shame.”

“I hope these are better than that.” With that, you push away from the frame, stepping forward and handing Newt a plate.

At least twenty cookies sit on the plate, stacked in neat little piles of two. It’s clear the amount of work you put into them.

Newt blinks in surprise. They’re his favorite kind. He doesn’t even remember mentioning they’re his favorite, or how it would’ve been brought up, nor you mentioning that you wanted to make anything for him. He looks back up at you, curious. Could you really…?

“I made them myself.” You offer when he says nothing. You refuse to meet his eyes, instead looking anywhere else in the room, your foot tapping a steady beat.

“Thank you.” He knows he should say something else, but what else is there to say when he wants only to press a kiss to your forehead and invite you to spend the rest of the day with him? What else is there to say when he worries he might tell you how he feels? Newt wonders if that would have been better as your smile fades.

It’s clearly not the reaction you were hoping for.

Shoulders slumped and false smile forced to your face, you step away from him. “Of course.”

“Love.” He stops himself, letting a beat pass as the words hangs between you. He waits for you to make a joke, to laugh, to tease him for it, but you just stare at him with wide eyes, frozen.

He clears his throat. “Sorry.”

“No” You murmur, shaking yourself back into motion. “An honest mistake.”

He struggles to breathe. Where’s the sarcastic joke? Nevertheless, the sooner he says something, the sooner this moment disappears forever. “I have something for you, too.”

And he digs in his pocket, pulling out a tiny wood carving. It fits in the palm of his hand, and it’s rough, but it’s the best he can do.

He hands it to you. “It’s not very good but –“

“Newt, it’s beautiful.” You stare at the thing, turning it this way and that in your hand, thumb running over the small letters on the bottom. His initials. “I love it.”

“Honestly?”

You blink away what look like tears. “Honestly.” Newt opens his mouth to say more, but you run a hand through your hair, looking up at him. “I should go.”

You pause at the door. “Thank you, Newt. This is… this is amazing.” Then you leave, and Newt’s left to wonder about everything that just happened.

He returns to dicing the lacewings, face red, knowing that he must find a way to ask you on a date.

                                                      V. Falling

“I think he may need some more of that cream.”

“Green or violet?”

You scrunch up your face, examining the wound on the erumpent’s back.

“Green. Definitely green.”

“Here you are.”

Newt ignores the brush of your fingers when you grab the tube, or does his best, at least, as he bends down to record the use in his notebook. Anything could be useful information for his book, now, and he’s determined to fit in as much as possible to save creatures’ lives.

He doesn’t hear you climb down the ladder, or brush dirt from your pants, or mumble some question about what he’s writing; he’s too focused on the paper, labeling the items, recording the wound and its cause.

He doesn’t even know you’re next to him until you rest a hand on his shoulder. “What’re you writing?”

“Simply recording what we used.”

“Why?”

“It’s important to…�� He trails off when he raises his head. You’re right there, inches away from him, nearly cross-eyed from the lack of space.

“To um…” he tries again, but it’s useless.

It’d be so easy to close the distance, and he finds himself thinking about how soft your lips must be, wondering if you’ve ever kissed anyone before, what you would do if he did right now, if he just leaned in the few inches. He thinks he may when his eyes drift to your lips.

His face burns as the two of you remain in this limbo. He can feel your breath against his face, and he’s fighting every urge now, trying not to lean in right now.

He hasn’t even asked you out, for Merlin’s sake. He has no right.

Still, your fingers are on his shoulder, and your eyes – Merlin, what a brilliant color – are focused on his lips.

Newt can’t help the smile growing on them. He’s going to do it.

His eyes begin to flutter shut, but before he can move more than a centimeter, a loud, booming groan erupts through the air.

The erumpent shuffles its feet, waiting for more help with the wound.

Newt freezes, and you look at the creature.

“I guess it was the violet.” You try to say it lightheartedly, jokingly, as you lean away, but Newt can hear the stiffness in it, see the slow way you move around, as though you’re regretting having to move, as though you just want to be near him again. “So why were you writing that down? You never answered.” Despite your smile, your voice comes out squeaky, nervous.

Newt laughs once to himself.

So, you wanted to kiss him. Interesting.

                                                         VI. In

Newt knows it’s inevitable when you slip your hand into his. He’s going to fall in love with you. He’s already confronted his emotion, accepted his feelings for you. And he’s fairly certain you feel something similar for him. All that’s left is an opportunity to let himself fall.

Which may very well be tonight. You’re standing in front of him, arms around his neck, head pressed against his chest, eyes closed, as the two of you sway in slow circles to the quiet song the bar’s band is playing. Drunks at the edges of the dance floor stagger, do-si-do-ing with one another, shouting, and occasionally belching, but Newt’s lost in his own world, one with only you and him.

“A lovely song.” You murmur, raising your head to meet his eyes.

“For a lovely dance partner.” He retorts.

You raise an eyebrow. “You think I’m lovely?”

He cocks his head. “Is there anyone that doesn’t?”

“I think Jacob has higher priorities.” He is, after all, the reason you and Newt are even dancing, begging you to ask Newt to a dance so Queenie would give up finding him a dance partner.

Newt glances at the swaying couple across the room. “Yes, well, they belong together.”

“And what’s that say about us?” You say it simply as a way to flirt, but when Newt offers no quick rebuttal, no joke, a flurry of butterflies storms into your stomach. “Newt? What’s that say about us?”

He steadies himself by reaching up to cup your cheek with one hand. “It means that I should –“

His hand is ripped away, torn to the side by an obviously drunk Queenie. “Come here, Newt. You must dance with Teeny. She’s lonely.”

Newt pulls his arm away gently. “I was actually in the middle –“

Queenie giggles, grabbing him again. “You talk too much, honey. Let’s go.”

You wave him away, lips turned down in a small frown, arms wrapping around your waist.

Newt sighs, allowing Queenie to pull him away to another woman to dance what turns out to be the final slow song of the night.

When Newt searches the crowd for you after it, you’re gone.

                                                    VII. Love

Newt lands in the Goldstein’s apartment moments after he realizes you’re gone.

He’d searched the building for a full half hour, checking and rechecking every room, even asking the bartender if you’d ordered something, before accepting that you’d left.

His fingers reach up to undo his bowtie, a nervous habit, as he stalks down the hallway, headed straight for the bedroom you’re sharing with the other two girls. He’s not sure what he’ll say, if he’ll even be able to be coherent. He just knows that you don’t know how he feels and he intends on fixing that immediately.

He stops in front of the closed door, nerves slamming into him. Rolling up his sleeves, he waits, thinking, hoping this doesn’t ruin everything, that he didn’t misread the signs, that you truly care for him as much as he cares for you.

Newt rolls up the sleeves of his white button up and chews on his bottom lip. It’s now or never. He raises a hand to knock.

“You’re not supposed to bother a sleeping lady, you know.” You say from behind him.

Newt spins, breath catching in his throat at the sight. You’ve begun to change out of the fancier outfit you’d put on for the dance hall. Your hair’s half down, a wavy mess from the pressure being up, and all of your makeup’s been washed away.

Warmth spreads through Newt’s chest again, and he smiles at you. “Beautiful.” He murmurs under his breath. “Absolutely beautiful.”

You stroll forward, smiling, something about the shots of giggle water giving you a burst of confidence. “So, do you need something, Newt, or did you just stop by to talk?”

“I um,” he clears his throat, smiling like a fool as you take another step toward him, “wanted to finish our conversation at the dance hall.”

You check your watch. “It’s past midnight. Aren’t you exhausted?”

“Not really, no.”

“Well, I am.”

Newt notices the challenge in your voice, the slight smirk on your lips. “Perhaps we could talk tomorrow at nine? A picnic?”

His heart stops beating for a moment as you consider the question, nose in the air, eyes squinted in thought. All Newt wants is an answer, a positive one, one that means he wasn’t imagining all this, that all of this, your apparent crush on him, is real.

You meet his gaze. “A picnic sounds lovely. Nine tomorrow.”

Newt grins. “It’s a date.”

You pass him, pulling open your door, but pausing to look at him. “I can’t wait.”

It’s all he can do to stay where he is and not kiss you.

                                                     VIII. With

“The sky’s on fire for you.” He says it offhandedly, though every particle of his being believes it. He’s on fire for you, the sky is, the whole damn world should burn itself up if a girl like you asked it to.

Your voice is glass, a soft sound that he fears may break if you raise it too high. “For me or for us?”

He’s stunned into silence as you turns to face him, a galaxy of colors on your face from the sunset, eyes a warm shade that matches the gifts his mother would bring home from trips to the grocery store every few months, hair shimmering under the boiling red sky.

He smiles lightly. “For us.”

“As it should be.” You face the horizon. “Watch out world, we’re coming for you!” You shout it, arms spread wide, smile wide on your face. Roars and clucks and chirps return the call, but the only sound you wait for is Newt’s small chuckle.

“You’re a miracle, love.” He says with a smile and a shake of his head, but the smile quickly fades into an odd expression as Newt searches your face.

“What?”

Newt’s heart thumps against his chest, feeling like it’s twisting and turning with every pump of blood, but he takes a breath to calm it all before answering. “Would it be all right if I kissed you?”

Your face lights up in a blaze of heat. “That’s what you want?”

He nods, eyes lingering on your lips. “More than anything. If you’re all right with it, of course. If not -”

“Newt,” you say, interrupting what is sure to be a lengthy, repetitive ramble, “I’d like that.”

He can hardly believe it, can hardly believe he heard you correctly, but you’re smiling that beautiful smile and scooting closer, and Newt’s going to kiss you. He’s finally going to kiss you.

His eyes shut and he thinks he’ll kill anyone that interrupts this time.

No one does.

The kiss is soft, faint, a mere brush of butterfly wings that starts a frenzy of fireworks in Newt’s guts. He’s kissing you, his best friend, his favorite person. He’s spent the past six months wondering what it would be like and now he is and it’s so much more than he could have imagined.

He reaches up and cradles your cheek when you deepen the kiss, heart slamming so hard he worries it’ll break out of his chest. But it doesn’t, and he spends the rest of that blood red sunset with you at his side, kissing your forehead, cheeks, lips, hair. Whatever he can.

And Newt knows as he holds your hand in his and kisses you yet again that he has fallen completely, that the inevitable has occurred and he’s dug himself into a hole he’ll never escape.

He finds as you ramble on about the colors of sunsets and rainbows and autumn leaves that he doesn’t mind in the slightest.

                                                     IX. You

“Who’s the lucky lady?”

“Quite honestly, I’d consider myself the lucky one.”

The salesman bursts into a great laugh that’s far too enthusiastic for the joke Newt made. “Ah, don’t we all think that, though? Our women are too good to be true sometimes.”

Newt nods distractedly, peering down at the various racks.

“So how long have you and the lady been together?”

“We’ve been on two dates.”

“Now that can’t be all.”

“It is.”

“Wow.” The salesman raises his eyebrows. “I guess you know when you know, huh?”

Newt pictures you, your smile, the way you look at four in the morning, how you’d held the carving and the plate of cookies and his hand so carefully, like you were careful of breaking each one.

“Anyone would with her. How much is this one?”

                                                       X.   .

Newt takes a deep breath, wiping his hands on the front of his slacks as he stands, pushing his chair away from the supper table.

You cock your head. “Feeling all right?”

“A bit nervous, is all.”

“Why?”

Newt jerks his head in a shrug. “I suppose most people feel nervous proposing.” “Propose…” You trail off, eyes wide as Newt kneels in front of you. “What in Merlin’s name are you doing?”

“Proposing. Is that all right?” His eyes shine with mild amusement.

You nod, blinking rapidly.

“Love, I’ve known you for years upon years. I mean, Hogwarts was a long time away for the both of us. Not that you’re old, of course, dear.” He adds with a quick grin before growing serious again. “Falling in love with you was inevitable, and it’s been nothing but a pleasure to be with you these past five months. You are a light I cannot shake, and I hope I never do.” He pulls the box from his pocket, swallowing his nerves as you wipe at a tear on your cheek.

“Love, I know you’ve plans for yourself in the future, and I was wondering if you would give me the honor of accompanying you on them.” He pops open the box, revealing an intricate ring that twists around itself, a line of small diamonds across the top.

“Newt, how much did that cost?” You choke out.

“Would you still say yes if I told you it cost everything I had?”

“Everything?” You murmur, dizzy.

“Even the shirt I’m wearing. I’ll have to return it after you give me an answer.” He laughs at your expression, the small scowl gracing your face. Merlin’s beard, you’re all he needs in this life. “So? I don’t mean to rush you, but this floor isn’t exactly kind to knees.”

You swallow the knot in your throat, have to before you can say yes. “I’d love to have you along forever.”

Newt had planned for everything – the dinner, the food, the words, the ring, everything – except how it would feel if you said yes.

A rush of emotions surge through him: elation, excitement, relief, love, adoration. He can hardly separate it all, and it takes him a moment before he can move, takes you laughing at him and asking for the ring before he can push himself to his feet and slide the ring onto your left hand.

He pulls your forehead to his, eyes shut, breath washing over your face. “I love you.” The intensity of his words frightens him, worries him that he’ll scare you, but you lean up and kiss him lightly, so similar to when he first kissed you that he wonders if he went back in time somehow, but then you break away with a smile and mumble the four words that bring him to his knees.

“I love you, too.”

[lebilliam]

Hey sirmcartney asked me to do this

I’d rather be doing this over my school ish anyways :’)

Ask me some questions!

3 Fears: Ghosts :((( , fat insects , failing stuff 

3 things I love: i fukin love talking to my friends and hanging out , listening to music that i havent heard in forever, and that post workout glow 

2 turns on: i can send them memes :) , i can laugh and not give a heck with them

2 turns off: i cant send them memes :( , being mean to me (im sensitive af)

My best friend: zoo wee this is a hard one but id prob say logan or brian or adam or morgan or alex. take ur pick. (morgan and logan tbh)

Sexual orientation: str8 

How tall am I: 5′9″ according to my ID

What do I miss right now: intimacy

Favourite color: orange!!!!!

Do I have a crush: ;)

Favourite place: currently ive been digging the imagination room

What am I listening to right now: affection // Cigarettes After Sex

Shoe size: it varies on the brand but normally 9.5 or 10? idk im bad

Eye color: brown

Hair color: black 

Meaning behind my URL: its bc i wanted a recognizable alias that i could use across platforms 

Favourite song: i always say liztomania by phoenix

Favourite band: Maroon 5 fanboy here but ive been a fan of Cigarettes after Sex for a while now

How I feel right now: STRESSED and ANGERY

Someone I love: myself (kinda)

My current relationship status: 

My relationship with my parents: we dont really talk that much but good i think?

Favourite season: oof i like the heat but im gonna say winter bc i get to be emo and i can go walk on fresh snow 

Tattoos and piercing i have: none atm

Tattoos and piercing i want: hmmm idk if i want anything big but i always thought the track shoe/wing thing would be nice

The reasons I joined Tumblr: all my friends had it so i thought i would be cool if i made one

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: i have gotten some before and i appreciate them 

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: the last person i texted? surprisingly no

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: depends if i shower but i can get going in ~4-5 minutes

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?: nope!

Where am I right now?: imagination room!

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? hell yea who doesnt

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? not atm im chillin #dormlife

Am I excited for anything?: excited for the weekend

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? hell to the yea of course

How often do I wear a fake smile?: everytime i feel weird around people idk usually i wouldnt say i smile that much unless im gooning 

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: I believe that the world will introduce me to people when i need it (lame answer: idk anyone but maybe like my friends’ friends)

What do I think about most? this week it’s been the french essay i had to write but overall i think about being appreciated 

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? id be on both sides if i could but if i had to pick one id totally be in front

What was the last lie I told? oh haha i dont know (but i do know)

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? PHONE CALLS

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Hell yea what else am i supposed to be afraid of. aliens are super cool man of course i think theyre real

Do I believe in magic? NOPE! but theres been some crazy magic tricks where i almost believe but then i see the “how it’s done” video for it

Do I believe in luck? hell yea of course! why would it not exist? 

What’s the weather like right now? ughgh it’s disappointingly hot 

What was the last book I’ve read? Huis Clos by Jean Paul Sartre (i had to read it for class but it really is a great work of art)

Do I have any nicknames? B, Lil B(ones i have heard the most) Billiam, Broletariate Biu (my mom calls me that), (billy bear is an old one and i dont know why they ever used it in the first place), goomph, toad, frog, ugly ass, nerd, dork, dingus

Do I spend money or save it? i spend it haha kms i really need to save more efficiently

Can I touch my nose with a tounge?: nope just tried and looked like a fool

Favourite animal? oof i want to say dogs but thats basic but dogs are so loving like i dont get it how do they do it

What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: i was up and i was emo. jk i was hanging out and watching bad Freshman xxl cyphers

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Get Low by lil Jon or Faded (the remix) or change your mind by the killers. im gonna go ahead and say that change your mind gets my shit hyped UP

What is my favorite word? satiation

My top 5 blogs on tumblr: idk if im going to be honest i dont really use tumblr that much for personal blogs but i do love foodporn, til, ruined childhood

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? love each other. 

Do I have any relatives in jail? i dont think so? oh jk theyre not really a relative but they’re a close family friend’s relative

What is my current desktop picture? FUKIN FUNCTIONAL GROUPS THAT I DONT EVER KNOW OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD EVEN THOUGH THERES A TEST IN 10.25 HOURS

Had sex? ye

Bought condoms? ye

Gotten pregnant? cant really say that i have :p

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? yes

Had job? yep! summer job at the zoo which was cool af

Smoked weed? once or twice 

Smoked cigarettes? never.nope.disgusting

Drank alcohol? yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? i tried being vegetarian for a bit but then i wasnt eating enough red meat

Been overweight? as a kid i feel like i was overly big but now that i think about it i dont think i was fat

Been underweight? definitely

Gotten my heart broken? homeboy who hasnt?

Been to prom? yeep

Been in airplane? yeep

Learned another language? heck yes! english kek and im in the process of learning french. i tried learning lithuanian after a life changing experience. 

Wore make up? surprisingly no

Dyed my hair? nope! i dont want to bleach my hair

Had a surgery? uhhh does laser surgery count? bc ive had 3 so far and i might have more

Met someone famous? every time i walk by a mirror ;) jk i met the senator of WA and the mayor of Tacoma a couple times

Stalked someone on a social network? pfft hell yes

Been fishing? yep! it’s always an experience

Been rejected by a crush? rip me yes

What do I want for birthday? i want to have a nice get together with friends where we do stuff that i dont have to pay for (but i dont think thats how life works anymore)

Do I like my handwriting? I love it in pen and when i hit my ecrivain stride, but otherwise when my hands get sweaty its just a fkin mess 

Where do I want to live when older? i’ve always said paris, but zaragoza spain wouldnt be too bad!

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? yea boi

What I’m really bad at: believing in myself 

What my greatest achievments are: i was a smart kid in elementary! i got some awards for getting good grades and i went to a competitive thing for piano once and i placed a couple times in some random races ive run

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: oof i dont want to really relive that experience

What I’d do if I won in a lottery: id ask /r/personalfinance 

What do I like about myself: id like to think im gaining/losing healthy weight

My closest Tumblr friend: on tumblr?? idk i said i dont really use tumblr for friends but i’d probably say memequeen or sirmccartney

Any question you’d like? when am i going to meet up with my RA? no one knows idk i forgot about our meeting and hes really cool about rescheduling so i might do it this saturday

Are you outgoing or shy? it really depends on how im feeling but id like to think im pretty outgoing!

What kind of people are you attracted to? NICE FRIENDly people who can laugh. laughing is important to me

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? personally i think yes

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? nope!

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? @thoseloverseyes most def

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “haha and then what ;)” jk it says” thank”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? boy oh boy am i not ready for this question. Id think “this love, maroon 5″, humble (its a bop), “the air that i breathe, “open - rhye”, and rollin by calvin harris or this house by japaense breakfast idk the last one always changes

Do you like it when people play with your hair? i had a weird experience once but idk i think im willing to let other people touch my hair? not a fan 

Do you think there is life on other planets?of course. this topic is not up for debate. just bc our defition of life has not been found that does not mean that there is not life in other places where we are either 1) not looking or 2) life that we cant recognize due to our weird weird obsession with water like life does not have to use water as a conduit for essential functions

well that was fun and id say it took some time. it def got me feeling better about life. 7.8/10 i would do it again but im sweaty af from this hot ass room

peace!

[jackscrutchie]

jackcrutchie prompt: something along the lines of "you confessed your love to me while drunk but you dont remember doing that" idk

I played a little and rambled a little and got carried away but I hope this is okay?? Sorry I can’t write.

Crutchie is sick so he goes to the penthouse early but is then surprised by how insanely drunk Jack is when he comes home later that night.

Crutchie doesn’t drink. He’d just never had an interest in it. That’s not to say he didn’t enjoy watching his friends have drinks when they could. He was the one who always took care of them. Made sure they got to their beds and tucked in. He made sure they had water and blankets and bits of food. It helped him feel needed – Like he had purpose. He got his laughs when Race stumbled over his words and couldn’t find his hat. ( It was on his head the whole time. ) He got to comfort Specs when he cried about his unrequited crush on the girl from the flower shop. He didn’t even mind when he had to help Albert change out of his vomit soiled shirt.

The only person that never really needed help at one point or another was Jack. Crutchie even had to help Davey once after some of the boys convinced him to have a few. But despite the alcohol running through his veins, Jack always managed to keep himself composed. Sure, he flirted a little more… Intensely than usual. But that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Jack had always been a flirt. He’d heard Jack talk on more than one occasion about ending up in bed with a girl after an oddly short amount of time just talking to her… But he tried not to think about that stuff. He wasn’t a jealous person… Right? No matter, Jack held his liquor well which impressed everyone. That’s why it was so strange when it happened.

Crutchie was alone the night it happened. He hadn’t been feeling well, so instead of staying out with the boys, he headed back to the penthouse early. He’d been dozing off, his stomach in knots, his leg aching – All he wanted was sleep but… A rattle. Someone was coming up. A clang and a familiar laugh. Jack’s face came into view, blushed and a bit… Obscene. He’d really let himself go this time.

“Jack?” Crutchie sat up despite his leg cramping up in the process. “You… Are you okay?”

“Wha’? Yeah, a'course I’m okay, ’re you okay?” Jack’s words were slurred and he swayed when he finally made it to the top of the latter to step onto the rooftop. “Why wouldn'I be okay?” He laughed and reached up to pull his hat off his head. He was sweating.

“What’d you do, Jack?” Crutchie smiled a bit, shaking his head. He’d never seen Jack this way. He was always so cool. So collected and suave. “Why don’t ya lay down, huh?”

“Yeah, ya know… Ya know, Crutchie…” He started, his brow furrowed. Oh God, was he about to throw up? Crutchie didn’t think he could keep his own dinner down if he threw up… “I told ‘em. R - Race he said dat… He said he could out drink me and he… He didn’. I won, Crutch. Ain’t it nice?” He stumbled forward, making his way slowly towards the smaller boy.

“Hey, hey… Come on, Jack.” Crutchie didn’t want to stand… Wasn’t entirely sure he could at this point but… He reached his arms out, hoping to coax Jack over to him. “Ya gotta come lay down before –” Jack fell forward, hitting the ground hard, the skin on his arms and hands breaking as he hit the cold rooftop. “Jack!” Crutchie was on his feet as fast as he could, his leg screaming in protest. His stomach churning. He limped the few steps to Jack and knelt down next to him, tears stinging his eyes as the pain from his leg shot up and down his entire body. “Jack?”

A laugh. Jack was laughing. Loud and joyous and beautiful. “See, I – I’m okay! I could'a had ten more drinks!” He rolled onto his side, still laughing, to face Crutchie’s kneeling frame. “Ya gotta have little… A little faith in me, yeah?”

Crutchie’s face was twisted in pain and concern. He hit the ground pretty hard… But he seemed to be okay. “I got plenty of faith in ya, Jack but… Be more careful.”

Jack sat up, swaying a bit. “Hey you… You don’t worry your pretty li'l face ‘bout me…” He smiled, the smell of alcohol so strong on his breath it made Crutchie wrinkle his nose. “God, Crutch. Yous so damned cute… Ya know?” Jack reached a shaky hand out to gently touch Crutchie’s face, a blush rushing to his freckled cheeks.

“Jack… Come on.” He smiled, obviously flustered at the tenderness. He heart was racing, his throat was dry and his stomach was still in knots. “You… You need to get some sleep. You’re talkin’ crazy!” He reached up with his own hand to touch Jack’s. His heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t give it away that he… He swallowed hard. He’d been in love with Jack for so long but this didn’t mean anything. This was just Jack being Jack. Jack being very… Very drunk.

“No, I gotta… Crutchie. C - Charlie. Listen.” Jack’s tone suddenly dropped, trying to sound serious despite the slur in his words. “I gotta tell ya… Ya know you… Yous is so sweet.” He pressed his palm against Crutchie’s cheek, keeping his eye contact. “Yous… Yous is so so… Just yous… So bright like… A sun. Crutchie yous is my… My sunshine.” He nodded, his lips pursed, serious. “I ain’t got nothin’ without ya. Yous is my… My Crutchie. My Charlie. And yous is my sunshine, you know that?”

Crutchie felt his heart beating faster and faster every time Jack opened his mouth. He’d called him by name… That never happened. What was going on? He had to remember this meant nothing. Nothing he was saying was true. He was just drunk. “That…” He looked down, subconsciously leaning more into Jack’s touch. “That’s nice'a you to say.”

“I mean it. Ya know, I really do. Yous is my life, Charlie.” He nodded again, his eyelids obviously getting heavier by the minute. “An’ if I – Yous gotta know I really like ya. I think dat you… Yous is special and Charlie…” He paused, leaning forward to press his forehead against the smaller boys warm one. “I love ya… Yeah. I love ya a lot Crutchie. An’ an’ don’t… I love ya more… More than San'a Fe! How ‘bout dat! I love ya!” Jack’s cheeks were flushed, his eyes glassy, but he wore the brightest smile –

Crutchie’s heart stopped. He had to remember how to breathe. What was he supposed to say to that? Of course he loved him back but this wasn’t… This wasn’t actually happening. Jack was so far gone he had no idea what he was saying. If his stomach wasn’t upset before… “Jack I –” But he was already tilting to the side, falling asleep sitting up. “Jack – !” Crutchie grabbed for him, a jolt of pain going down his spine as he slowed Jack’s descent to rest him gently on the ground. Sweat was beading on Crutchie’s brow and he sighed, straining to reach the small ratty blanket closest to them to cover Jack.

His entire body ached, his stomach still threatened to empty itself, but somehow his heart was singing. For just a moment he could pretend that… He smiled, and closed his eyes, tilting his head back and up into the moonlight. It felt nice, pretending to be loved like that…

—

The next morning, Crutchie stirred at the sound of rustling next to him. His condition hadn’t improved by much, but he opened his tired eyes to see Jack digging around in his sketches for clean paper. “Jack..?” His voice came out weak and hoarse. Hm… Maybe he should skip selling today…

“Oh, h - hey… Crutchie.” He smiled, wincing a bit.

“You… You doin’ okay?” Crutchie didn’t even try to sit up. But remembering the words Jack had said to him brought red back to his face. “You uh… We’re pretty…” He forced a laugh, trying not to be sick. He had to prepare himself for the inevitable. Jack would tell him that he loved him. But he would make sure he knew that he only loved him like a brother. They would never be anything other than that. His heart picked up it’s pace.

“Hah, yeah…” Jack shrugged, scratching the back of his head. “I uh – I’m sorry if I did anything… Ahah.” He looked away, clearly embarrassed.

This was it. Crutchie braced himself, closed his eyes and – “What do you remember?”

“The last thing I remember is…” Jack stopped to think, biting his lip. “Leaving the party.”

Inhale. “You don’t remember gettin’ back to the penthouse?”

Jack grinned, putting his hands in his pockets. “No – Not at all. It’s all… Gone after I left the party… Guess I fell at one point?” He tilted his head down toward his skinned up arms.

“Yeah… You uh…” He curled in on himself. “You ain’t forgettin’ anything else, anyway. Just… Got back here, told me ya drank more than Race, fell and passed out… Hah…” He was rambling. “So… Nothin’ to worry about.” Now that he was sure Jack didn’t remember, he let his guard down a bit, his sickness overwhelming him.

“I guess… That’s good then.” Jack cocked his head to the side, hunching forward, trying to focus on this small boy. Jack felt his own heart flutter. “You… You alright?”

No. “Yeah, I’m alright. Just… Ya know… I ain’t feelin’ real good.” He gave a weak smile, trying to reassure his friend.

Jack walked forward to kneel next to Crutchie’s withered frame and rested his hand against the sick boy’s sweat dampened forehead. “You’re sick.” He sighed. “And don’t say a word. I’m takin’ care'a you today.” Jack was stern, but gentle. “Don'tchu move a muscle.” He held Crutchie’s gaze for a long moment before dropping his hand from his forehead, letting it linger against Crutchie’s cheek for a sweet minute, rubbing comforting circles into his warm skin. “I need my sunshine.”

[vivitalks]

Maple Trees and Libraries

idk if yall remember but awhile back my friend jeannie and I did a prompt exchange where we would each give each other a prompt and a pairing and then we'd write the fic. well anyhow i'm doing another one with my tumblr amigo @lost-in-the-in-between​ who's super cool and is the reason this fic has come to exist! cheers to you Ash. anyhow i dont know how college works so please forgive me, and also this is mediocre at best but WHATEVER leave me alone just read it

college au because i’m a slut for those

prompt: “Hold my hand so he gets jealous.”

pairing: zoe murphy/evan hansen

“Hi, Evan, right?”

Evan jerks his head up from his book about various different tree species, and swirly shapes bloom in front of his eyes, which he blinks away. “Um — yes? Evan. I mean yes, that’s me.”

And you’re Zoe Murphy, only the girl I’ve been in love with since we both started here two years ago.

Zoe smiles at him, but it’s oddly strained. “Look, I know we’ve literally never talked, but you’re the only person in the library right now and I need a weird favor.”

Actually, they have talked. Twice. One: when Zoe asked what she missed after she missed an econ lesson. Evan gave her his notes with a few incoherent jumbled phrases mixed in and then avoided her eyes. He didn’t get any notes for that class.  Two: when Zoe spotted Evan lingering — or maybe loitering — outside the band room during practice and asked him what he was doing there, and didn’t he have class? And Evan said yes he had class but the thing was was that his class was really boring and anyway he knew enough about environmental science to miss one class and also he totally didn’t realize she was in band, how cool! Even though that was a total lie and Evan knew Zoe was majoring in music theory because he came by the band room all the time to watch them practice just so he could see Zoe do that half-smile. And Zoe said okay and did the half-smile at him and went back into the band room.

But obviously Zoe doesn’t remember either of those, which makes sense because that was all last year and Zoe is different this year, so why should she remember a guy like Evan. Except now she’s asking him a favor and oops, he’s taken too long to respond, again.

Evan blinks. “O-okay?”

"Great. Listen, see that guy?" Zoe's eyes flit to, yes, the only other person in the library. Evan doesn't know him. Evan doesn't know most people, though, so no surprise. "That's my ex." Oof. He's way hotter than me. At least you have standards, Zoe. "He's an asshole and he's going to come over here as soon as he sees me and start hitting on me, which he's been doing since we broke up two months ago. I need you to hold my hand so he gets jealous and leaves me alone. Okay?"

She says this all like it's the game plan, and Evan is all prepared to agree to it until he thinks about the actual words she's saying to him. "Wait – won't that just make him want to, like, kill me? 'Cause I'm not really – I'm actually having a good day and I would really hate for it to be spoiled by, you know, being snapped in half by some Neanderthal who's jealous. Besides he probably won't even be jealous, I mean, look at him, he's way better-looking than me, and also he could break me in his palm, so I really don't think –"

"Evan!" Zoe hisses, as if they're best friends and didn't just speak for the first time ever (in recent memory) right now. Evan chokes on whatever other arguments he was going to present – which is probably for the best, because the last thing he needs is to dig himself into some unending hole of chatter and shame. "Come on, man, I need some help here."

"Okay, fine, okay," he concedes. "I – well – okay."

"Awesome." Zoe drags her chair around the circular table until she's right next to Evan and links her fingers with his very casually, like it's something they do every day, and at a very inopportune moment Evan remembers that you can feel someone's pulse in their wrist, and she can probably feel his heart racing a thousand miles per hour. He has the stupidest urge to yank his hand away and also he really needs to wipe his palms on his jeans because they're probably insanely sweaty because when he's nervous his palms get sweaty and that's just unpleasant for everyone, plus Zoe wouldn't tell him if his palms were sweaty and gross because who says that? But he knows she'd be thinking it and then never speak to him again so –

Their hands are on the table for anyone to see even though Asshole Ex is the only person here, and Evan hopes he comes and goes too fast to even find out what Evan's name is, because the last thing he wants is to be on someone's hit list that looks like he got a dose of Captain America's super-soldier serum. As if on cue, or maybe because he heard Zoe's chair dragging across the carpet, he turns, spots Zoe, and starts towards the two of them. Evan's heart is definitely considering leaping out of his chest and committing suicide, from the way it's hammering his ribcage.

"He's gonna kill me, you know that, right?" he whispers, and Zoe grins loftily.

"Pft," she says dismissively. And then Asshole Ex is standing – towering, looming over them – and Evan can't really say anything else.

"Hey," Asshole Ex says, and boy, Evan wishes he'd just say his name so Evan could stop calling him Asshole Ex, which, okay, it's crude, really, accuracy levels aside. He leans over the table and Evan feels innately like he’s being preyed on by some predator, aside from the fact that he’s being ignored entirely, which is what he’s used to. "What's new, Zoe?"

"What's new is my boyfriend Evan," Zoe answers, her tone clipped, very juxtaposed to the relaxed, laid-back tone she'd used with Evan. Evan jumps at the word boyfriend and shrinks under Asshole Ex's analytical once-over.

Evan swallows. "Yeah, boyfriend. I'm her boyfriend, me, Evan," whose name you now know and can weaponize to bend me to your will, that's great. "What – what's your name again, did you say? You didn't – you never said your name."

Asshole Ex raises an eyebrow in the most threatening glare ever. "Ryan," he says, or maybe sneers is a better word. "Zoe’s never mentioned me?”

“Why would I? If you don’t recall, I hate your fucking guts,” Zoe comments, the way someone would say we have math homework due tomorrow or I really like apple pie.

Ryan scoffs, but his eyes stay focused on Evan, who’s starting to feel pretty uncomfortable, to be honest. “You're Zoe's new arm candy?"

"Well, I don't know about arm candy," Evan begins.

"You're right. You're way too mousy to be anyone's arm candy. Much less someone like Zoe," Ryan says, every word like venom. Evan really fights the urge to sharply answer with, trust me, buddy, I know it.

"Watch what you say to my boyfriend, you motherfucker," Zoe snaps, a cutting edge to her voice that Evan would not like to be on the receiving end of, ever. "Leave us alone. We're very busy doing research."

"About trees," Evan puts in. He hears Zoe repress a laugh.

"About trees," she agrees. "Especially –" she grabs his book and flips through it, "maple trees. They're much more interesting than your clingy ass. So if you would be so kind." With her free hand, Zoe gestures to the exit of the library, and Ryan's stare would definitely make maple trees wilt. Evan's surprised he hasn't been literally laser-eyed to death yet. He's also pretty freaking amazed at how Zoe's more or less keeping her cool.

"Maple trees?" Ryan mimics. "Yeah, fascinating. Just like your rabbity new boyfriend. Enjoy your time while you have it," he snarls in Evan's general direction. And then, in a scarily low tone to Zoe, "You'll realize what you're missing soon enough, babe."

He brushes the book about trees off the table and it hits the carpet with a muffled thud. Then, with a final look of distaste, he's gone.

Evan feels his chest unclench. "That was – frightening. Can we report him for, like, sexual harassment? Or general harassment?"

Zoe releases her hand from his, and instantly Evan misses the warmth it sent through his whole body. "Sorry to drag you into that."

"No, it's okay, it's – its okay," Evan says quickly. "I mean it was frightening in like a good way, like oh, so scary, but more like a rush, you know? Like kind of a roller coaster? I thought you handled that really well, he was a total – well, a total asshole, like you said." WHAT AM I SAYING.

Zoe giggles and turns to look at him. "You held your own. Were you actually reading about maple trees?"

Evan blushes and ducks his head. "Um, well, oak trees, actually. They can get really tall. Like forty feet, maybe more. I tried to climb a forty-foot tall oak tree once. Um, it didn't go well. I actually fell from it," he's gesturing with his hands now, painting the oak tree in the air and watching himself let go, "and broke my arm, which really sucked a lot. Actually, why am I telling you this? I'm sorry, you must have a million things to do. I'll stop talking now." He wishes he could get his book and bury his nose in it. Unfortunately, it's on the floor on Zoe's side, and how awkward would it be to reach over her? Or to get up and get it? So he just looks at his hands instead as they fall to the tabletop.

The book slides across the surface like magic, except the magic is actually Zoe's hands. And then, as Evan opens his mouth to say thank you through his scarlet blush, she says, "Hey, this is a little strange, but do you want to go out sometime? For real?"

Evan's vital organs all pretty much cease to function for a couple of seconds.

"Out?" he repeats uncertainly. "Out like how? Like, outside? Or like on a date? That's weird, sorry, why would you go on a date with me," he laughs a hollow kind of laugh, "but if you – I mean, I can go out with you like a friend --"

"On a date," Zoe clarifies. "With me. Tomorrow night."

Evan blinks, gapes, and then realizes he's imitating a fish out of water and stops. "Oh," he says. He pauses, just to make sure he didn't invent that whole interaction, and then says, "Oh," again. And then he clears his throat. "Uh, yes, that – I would really like that, yes. That sounds great."

"I'll meet you here," Zoe says, pushing her chair back and standing. "At seven. We can decide where to go from there."

Evan's mouth is dry with anticipation, but he manages, "Perfect."

"Can't wait," Zoe says, smiling at him warmly.

She turns and walks away, vanishing into another section of the library, and Evan's vision swims with the unreality of that whole conversation.

He opens up his book, closes it and shelves it.

At the checkout counter, the lady says, "Taking anything out?"

Evan sighs contentedly, and says, "Just a girl."

[og-doubletrouble-kinnie]

Marx Mem

Aighty this is long and it gets a bit dark I guess? Idk its a panic attack mem so.. Warned ig

After a really bad day at the news station (Katie and other various bosses being total fucking dicks. Writing 3 whole news reports in a single day AND Having to take care of food stuffs for the day cause our intern fucking d ied or something) I stumbled home fucking exhausted.

Pretty much the moment I get inside my apartment bastard speaks up "I can't believe you're tired. You barely did anything today."

I tilt my head back and forth and in a mocking tone I talk back "oh sure writing three full length news stories in a single day while making sure the staff is fed and keeping Katie off my damn back is nothing. Su r e"

I pull my gloves off, untie my bowtie and pull off my jacket as I head to the bathroom. Just wanna shower and pass the fuck out, I don't care that it's like 5pm, I deserve a damn nap. I realize I'm far to exausted to stay awake for an entire shower so I just opt for cleaning my face and hoping I dont just conk out on my bathroom floor.

I stand infront of the sink and just space out staring at the faucet for at least a minute. When I snap back to reality I look to my mirror- Surprised to see my actual reflection for a moment before bastard pops up. "Katie was right you know. You're such a slacker~ And you don't write nearly enough stories for her! The head anchor. Sure Tom is nicer to you but he shouldn't be doing the most talking! Keep the camera on Katie, Marx!! You're a man of taste, you know that everyone just tunes in for Katies chest- Hell thats why you tune in. 'Course you already know everything she's gonna say. Unless she throws your script away, like she really should every time cause you write utter filth. I'm surprised she even tries to read the mess you give her each day."

I honestly just stare tiredly into the mirror as he goes on and on, nodding occasionally cause I'm tired enough to believe him. His words blur out at this point and I manage to splash my face with water before tiredly making the stupidest comment I could possibly make while bastard is really active, "God I wish Angel and Bee were here-"

And bastard laughs at me. "Now why could you possibly want that???"

"Oh I dunno maybe it's cause I'm exhausted and curling up with my hoard seems really fucking nice, you pathetic piece of shit."

"Ah yeah I'm the 'piece of shit' have ya seen yourself lately?"

"Oh I'd love to but you seem to always take my reflections place."

"Oh wow Marxy has a bite now, huh?"

I glare into the mirror "Don't call me that."

"Why? Cause your precious little Angel gave it to ya? C'mon Marxy lighten up, it's not like I'm real."

I roll my eyes. Again with the "not real" thing, huh? Okay yeah sure. "Yeah, them being here would be great... I'd love to ignore you for the night." I turn from the mirror, ready to go sleep but-

He seems to not like when I want to ignore him... Cause- well thats when he brings out the big guns "What makes you think they want to be here?"

I freeze... He usually doesn't get to me like this... But ya know- I'm exhausted.. And hearing that one sentence makes my mind swarm with all the things Angel and Bee could be saying about me- about how much they could hate me... I can't shake it away with logic cause it practically doesnt exist in this moment. I turn back to the mirror. "I- I don't-"

"Exactly. There's no reason for either of them to want to be around you."

"Y- yeah-" I nod slowly and lean against the wall, glancing at the mirror for a moment before looking to the floor.

"I mean, just look at you! You're pathetic!"

I listen and look back to the mirror, my reflection is back. My eye bags are huge, my hairs a mess (more so than usual), he's right. I look pathetic... Of course I do. I always do... I slide down the wall, mostly due to my legs being to tired to hold me up, but also cause it's where I belong. The floor is the proper home for someone who looks like such trash.

"Do you really think they care about you? Oh sure Angel's stopped taking blood but who's to say thats his choice? He probably stopped cause Charlies buckling down on his drug problems~ If thats the case, then why would he bother to still have sex with you? Maybe you've somehow convinced him you're the only one he should be with? How cruel... Why should you hold him back? Why even bother talking to him when you're so controlling and possessive??"

I bring my knees closer to my chest, instinctively curling up to try and block him out. I try to mumble a stop but only manage a small squeak. I feel my claws digging into my arms but dont do anything to stop it.

"Oh and Dont even get me started on Bee! You're clearly manipulating him too! Why else would he call you "boss"? Why else would he do nearly anything you ask of him? Oh sure he could easily take you down if he found a problem with you, but what if you're all he has? He puts up with your constant abuse because he thinks he can't get anyone else? Do you really think he wants to put up with you? That either of them do?"

I shake my head. I dont know if I'm answering him if trying to refuse it.

"Just look at what happened with Baxter. How long until you somehow corrupt them aswell?"

"B-"

"Pfft- Surely you didnt think Baxters actions were his own?? My my, Marx I knew you were stupid but I didnt realize it was that bad. You obviously made Baxter feel inferior, even you knew that. But you never dealt with it. You let it fester and grow. I bet you just loved watching Baxter hate himself all because of you? Don't try to deny me, Marxy. I know it all, its so incredibly obvious I'm surprised nobodies figured it out yet... Then again, if you cant even figure this out about yourself, then maybe your friends have the intelligence of rocks!"

Now I feel a few tears run down my cheeks and go to wipe them- But.. Well I suppose I've broken skin on my arms cause I just smear blood on my face.

"Oh nice job you fucking idiot. What are people gonna say when they see those scars? They'll think you're some kind of edgy teenager. Then again- you might aswell be. Constantly wanting the attention of others."

I shake my head harder, hands moving from my arms to my head "n-no... It- it was an accident-"

"Awe... But that doesn't matter Marx! The point is that you did it in the first place!"

I whimper and shake- pulling my hair hard enough that I feel I should be pulling out hairs.

I hear the faintest door in the distance- due to how muffled it sounds I assume it's a neighbors door...

Bastard.. Thankfully quiets down for a moment- I manage to move my hands back to my arms- I can't loosen their grip... But scraped up arms are easier to deal with than a scraped up head.

Then Angel comes in- "Ma- Oh my god- Bee! Bee I found him-!" Angel crouches down beside me and very carefully grabs my hands, and pulls them from my arms. "Marx wh- What happened?"

I hear bastard laugh from the mirror "You can't tell him. He won't believe you."

"I-"

Bee comes in- Fast. "Boss?!" I assume Angels tone must've scared him- and well. He scares me- I jump, grabbing my arms again and my wings pop up.

Angel grumbles "Damnit- Bee ya scared 'im-"

I scoot away before Angel can try to pry my hands free again-

"Mar-?"

"N-no no- you're- You're not supposed to be here-"

Bee crouches down by Angel, "Boss what're ya talkin 'bout?"

"Oh you're finally pushing them away now?" I glance at the mirror- bastard is just eating this up.

My hands get tighter as my eyes dart back to Angel and Bee. I stare like a deer in headlights- expecting them to.. I dont know- do.. Something...

Angel turns to Bee "Bee see if you can find some bandages- I'll... Try and calm him back down..."

Bee nods, gives me a sad/worried look then gets up and leaves the room. Angel shuffles over to me, and I instinctively push myself farther into the corner.

"Marx I'm not gonna hurt you- it's alright..."

"He's talking to you like youre an animal. He sees you as dangerous. He has every right to. You could attack at any moment."

"Sh- s hut up-"

Angel tilts his head "Wh-?"

"Awe look how cute, he thinks you're talking to him."

"Shut up"

"Mar-" He looks concerned... Possibly scared..

"You're scaring him~ Of course you are... You probably scare him often.."

I shoot up, yelling toward the mirror "I said shUT UP!!!" I hear a loud thud and suddenly my hand hurts- I punched my wall...

Theres a small crash in the kitchen and Bee comes running in, holding a roll of bandages- I look down to Angel- And yeah.. He looks scared- So does Bee- I drop my hand from the wall and back away the few inches I can without stumbling into my bath-

"C-can't... Can't you hear it" I try not to physically cringe at how... Pathetic I sound

I hear bastard laugh, and Bee and Angel exchange a confused look.

"Hear... What, Boss?"

"I- it. The voice. I- I can't- I can't be the only one-" One hand goes back to my hair.

"Oh you sad, sad man..."

Angel gets up and comes over to me- Grabbing the hand in my hair and pulling it down before I can start pulling. "Marxy.... Hun- Are you alright...?" He lowers me onto the side of the tub.

I stare at the floor, squinting slightly "I-... I don't???"

Angel gestures at Bee, he steps over, handing Angel the bandage roll then sitting next to me. He puts a hand on my back, rubbing small circles.

"Let me see your arms, Marxy-"

With the extra exhaustion from the panic attack I just tiredly listen to him, flopping my arms on my lap- my wings vanishing. Angel starts wrapping them up. I feel myself yawn, and I lean on Bee, he moves from rubbing my back to putting his two arms on that side around me. I feel myself starting to doze off- but I'm still jumping awake each time.

When Angel finishes wrapping my arms, he picks me up and heads for the bed. I glare at the bandages, My tired dragon brain doesn't like them... So I bite at them- Or at least I try but Angel baps my nose. "Don't you even try, Mister."

I tiredly whine and grumble, flopping into Angels chest. "B u t.... I dont-"

"I dont care if ya don't like 'em, you need to heal and bitin your bandages aint gonna help."

Angel sets me down on the bed and I pbbthh at him. Him and Bee climb in on either side of me and I yawn again.

"Sounds like ya need to sleep, Boss-"

"Mmrmm..." I roll over and face Bee, "No shit... Katie n the others worked me like a dog t'day..." I shove my face into the Matress

"Don't they overwork you every day?"

"Ye s it was just worse this time"

I feel Bee pat my back a few times, and Angel cuddles up to my side and starts talkin, "Well we wanted to go to the bar- But a nap sounds pretty nice instead..."

Bee hums in agreement- he doesn't lay down though... Just stays sitting next to me and keeps a hand on my back.

There's a few moments of silence, but I eventually pass out.

[dubbalshs]

Make me admit stuff? 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? last person i text messaged was callie so noooo haha
2. You talked to an ex today, correct? i have not. i haven't spoken to him in a week
3. Have you taken someones virginity? nope
4. Is trust a big issue for you? honestly, no. i feel like at this point it should be, especially since felix poured all my secrets out to my mom, but it isn't really lmao
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? i have a crush on literally everyone so like yeah
6. What are you excited for? im excited to go to john abbott
7. What happened tonight? uhh last night i hung out with michael and went to mount royal and had an amazing time, and tonight i'm planning to go to acoustic
8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? nah, i dig it and i relate and i wanna be them, only thing is don't be a burden on other people and be safe
9. Is confidence cute? yes lmao i'm kinda into cockiness too
10. What is the last beverage you had? milk
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? uhhh quite a bit. michael, lorne, matteo, brandon, felix still to an extent lmao well actually like no not really 
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? ya 
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? i have no clue. probably not much
14. What are you going to spend money on next? beer lol
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? nope but i'm sleeping over at his place again tonight lol
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? yeah of course. i plan to become happier and to be productive and idk to mature and grow and get over some things
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? annie definitely
18. The last time you felt broken? like yesterday lmao all the time
19. Have you had sex today? no but i'm planning to
20. Are you starting to realize anything? yeah i'm starting to realize that felix wasn't perfect and did a lot of shitty things and also idk that the people who want to be around will be and that you can love someone with all your heart but still be ready and willing to get over them
21. Are you in a good mood? yeah and i'm definitely trying to be
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? no lmao i'm not even a good swimmer
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? nope his are blue mine are brown 
24. What do you want right this second? idk maybe to be hanging out with a friend, maybe for lucas to message me so i can get hyped for tonight and feel better about it all
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? "that's fair" (lmao it would probably be felix and it wouldn't hurt too much tbh i don't think it would change how he feels about me and i've kissed my fair share since the break up)
26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? at the top of my head yes at the bottom no it's more red ish 
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? like everyone can make me laugh cause when they find something funny and are being all cute it makes me laugh but i've definitely dated guys with diff senses of humour before like todd wasn't that funny imo but i still laughed
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? probably michael's family they're so funny
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? not in this exact moment but i do miss felix quite a bit 
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? not everyone. like sometimes they really do deserve it but i'd say also a lot of the time it's your own decision whether you want to give them a second chance, it's not something they innately deserve
31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? idk if this means talking like just talking or romantically but either way no
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? i dont really know that i have feelings for anyone i guess the closest is still felix and i think he knows i love him
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? definitely not haha
34. Listening to? music but i paused it so nothing rn
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? ya but usually led pencil
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? probably in my old apartment tbh but i don't know for a fact
37. Do you believe in love at first sight? no lmao
38. Who did you last call? michael !!
39. Who was the last person you danced with? danced? i guess like at the club probably matthew westernoff lmao or david
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
idk i wanted to and it was a good time 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? i have no clue
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? no but i will !!
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? im sure i have i just can't think of anything
44. Do you tan in the nude? nah
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? no haha
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? uhh i texted annie till i fell asleep
47. Who was the last person to call you? my distant education school to tell me my exam mark 
48. Do you sing in the shower? i do if im home alone
49. Do you dance in the car? YES definitely haha
50. Ever used a bow and arrow? nope
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? maybe never ? unless like family photos by family friends count but that's like not professional and that's years ago
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? they can be but it's good shit !!
53. Is Christmas stressful? like it can be but it doesn't have to be
54. Ever eat a pierogi? like one that my mom made so defs more asian than not. or frozen ones haha
55. Favorite type of fruit pie? probably apple
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? singer hahaha
57. Do you believe in ghosts? no
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? yeah i get it a lot and it freaks me out
59. Take a vitamin daily? nope
60. Wear slippers? no
61. Wear a bath robe? no
62. What do you wear to bed? usually a big shirt and underwear 
63. First concert? hilary duff hahaha
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? eh walmart i guess
65. Nike or Adidas? both are good
66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos i guess ?
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? peanuts cause i'm shit at eating sunflower seeds lmao
68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? i love a bunch of them
69. Ever take dance lessons? ya i used to do ballet and tap and jazz. favorite was ballet. 
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? no clue lmao
71. Can you curl your tongue? ya
72. Ever won a spelling bee? nope 
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? i THINK i have but not sure 
74. What is your favorite book? no clue lol
75. Do you study better with or without music? definitely better without music but i listen anyway
76. Regularly burn incense? no
77. Ever been in love? yeah !! i just was haha
78. Who would you like to see in concert? the front bottoms 
79. What was the last concert you saw? the lumineers !! so good
80. Hot tea or cold tea? hot tea lmao you wildin
81. Tea or coffee? coffee
82. Favorite type of cookie? chocolate chip i guess
83. Can you swim well? like i can swim but i don't think well but like i won't drown in a pool
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? ya
85. Are you patient? nooooo omg me and annie talk constantly about how impatient we are
86. DJ or band, at a wedding? uhhh i think band is more romantic but lbr a dj probably sounds better
87. Ever won a contest? yeah i think so. ok ya that national flag thing and probably others
88. Ever have plastic surgery? nope
89. Which are better black or green olives? fuck an olive i love myself
90. Opinions on sex before marriage? pretty good imo lmao 
91. Best room for a fireplace? like living room i guess ? i don't understand 
92. Do you want to get married? yes !!! it'll be lit