#idk about y'all but I HATE that feeling so much
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Does anyone else ever.... reluctantly shelf an anime series? Like "this anime seems really cool, and I bet younger me would have eaten it up but..... man I'm NOT feeling it"???? and you're left feeling weirdly guilty about it because you WANT to like it???? but it's just not working????
#idk about y'all but I HATE that feeling so much#it feels like such a missed opportunity: what could have been a fond memory of my adolescence is instead of waste of time ugh#it's worse than straight up 'NOPING' out of a bad series#because when you're reluctant you drag it out as much as possible when you COULD be enjoying yourself with something else >.>#and lemme tell you: the series' I forced myself to finish even when I Was Not Feeling It were more annoying than ones I gave up at the star#StarlingChild4 learning to Let Go of Things That Do Not Spark Joy 2k23#Starling ramblings#anime#otaku issues
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I feel bad for Starlo.
Star has a point, idk what the four were ticked off about, there is like 99% chance everyone willingly participated in the trolley problem, based on what we've seen of his behavior thus far it's not like Starlo to be that big of a jerk/drag them by force/yell at them to do it. Ed's words:
he does it because Star asks NICELY
clearly jealous
It genuinely seemed like a fun time/fun roleplay, especially since every day is the same. Like, the five are supposed to be a rowdy and adventures bunch, what exactly did Starlo do wrong, I'm genuinely confused and curious. Except taking a big liking in Clover (his posse should know that this is a big moment for him, according to Blackjack they've known each other since high school and had the same liking for westerns. So they were basically a nerd gang.) Starlo was kind, patient and considerate towards Clover the whole time, even warned Mooch about them not being bandits, taught Clover gun safety, wanted to bring his posse along for a fun time, thanked Ace for telling him about getting Clover a new hat...
Sure, at first he only liked Clover for being a human, but as Ceroba says, that changed and he grew to genuinely care about them, plus I can't help but think Star saw himself in Clover and that's part of the reason he was so proud of them all the time even when they messed up (I'll talk more about this at some point)
What exactly made Ace want to leave the gang? He even said how he doesn't mind "getting run over by the fake train"
he's so nice. says sorry for forgetting the safety goggles even when he was scatterbrained due to his excitement. I love him so much
The only real "faults" (I'll call them temporary faults) I saw in Star during the Wild East section was that he was even more enthusiastic and more proud than usual. But how couldn't he be when he met a member of the species that he has admired for so long because they have real cowboys and sheriffs on the surface (who are seen as brave heroes who deliver justice, while Star canonically feels like a nobody farmer). His posse should have realized Clover wouldn't be there forever and just let their boss enjoy himself with his "deputy who'd have to leave sooner or later anyway"(or be more patient with him/ask him why he feels this strongly towards Clover/if there's a deeper reason for that). His friends including Ceroba just turn their back on him so quickly instead. The moment he's gotten the chance to feel valued for once and put himself first and not have to take care of this whole town and everyone in it and live his dream of meeting a real human, suddenly "his personality is damaged?"
Star's literally built this whole town, organised everything, he worries about everyone, Ceroba (plus was the one to give her emotional strength before and after Clover's sacrifice), Kanako, the monsters, his family, struggles with feelings of worthlessness yet never wipes that smile off his face, always does his best to be hopeful and optimistic and make others laugh, gave his posse a nap time so they don't become exhausted, gave Ceroba a free home, didn't act upon his feelings towards her and was a 110% supportive, caring friend instead. THAT'S who he is. He's the papa bear of this friend group, the glue holding everyone together.
He was just *really* excited. Y'all know he's insecure and just wishes to escape who he is and yet y'all blame him for liking Clover so much. Yeah, the four are very clearly jealous. But why won't the four of you control your feelings for a while? As mentioned, Clover WILL HAVE TO LEAVE EVENTUALLY. They won't be Star's "deputy" forever (the kid who's just as into westerns as he is, who values justice just as much, who also values doing the right thing. Someone he clearly felt understood in the presence of, whom he loved; just look at the way he talks about Clove during Showdown). Star seems genuinely confused of what he did wrong poor guy just wanted to live his fantasy for once and feel important:
Even at the beginning Moray's like "oh no Martlet is upset" Mooch replies "don't be a buzzkill nothing exciting ever happens around here" and Ray's like "Yeah you've got a point"
If you all agreed to have a little fun with a human who will very soon leave forever why is Starlo's enthusiasm such a big problem? If the posse weren't into this after all (unless they were simply too jealous which could have been solved with a honest talk and a little patience) why are you doing this "rowdy" job with Star in the first place? Do you want your boring routine day to day life so much back? Or just for Clover to leave (which they will soon enough)? You, western enthusiasts, literally met a real human, A HUMAN FROM WESTERNS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PASSIONATELY INTO (clearly not as passionate as Star but passionate ENOUGH to understand where he's coming from).
... okay.
#Like idk if I'm being biased because Star is my favorite character but I kinda just started thinking more and more about this and... yeesh.#Felt like a BIT of an overreaction to blame Starlo this much#No wonder he cracked#and unlike with Ceroba we actually see him do his very best to “fix” what he did “wrong”#i feel so much sympathy for this guy man#WAY more than for Ceroba#sorry fox lady#uty#undertale yellow#starlo uty#uty starlo#like dude literally had to come crawling on his hands and knees for them to forgive him#what “loyal” “supportive” friends they all are#sobbing for star#poor poor man#meanwhile everyone forgave ceroba for much much MUCH worse#she didn't need to burst into tears and beg for forgiveness even though she SHOULD have#everyone forgives her immediately on the spot + she gets a hug from clover#I'm sorry Starlo#like how was he “selfish” and “reckless”#he did something for himself for the 1st time in his life#y'all are reckless too btw#you put yourself first ONCE and they call you selfish#Star had the right to be mad at them for attacking Clover for no reason other than jealousy#wdym he's throwing you around for human business you literally wanted this#he watched the tapes more than 50 times bc that's how much he hates himself#and yet he's still been doing EVERYTHING in his power to be there for EVERYBODY
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sorry, just had to get this off my chest but like
colin, a young and attractive guy, supposedly having a threesome and watching a sex show performed by professionals whom he pays for their service when he is single and exploring what he does and doesn't like is bad for penelope, somehow
but debling a 30+ year old man feeling all up on her waist in public when she is a teenager and he has power and privilege over her and has known her for a grand total of like a week and a half is good, somehow
like this fandom has legit called Colin, a 22 year old man with like. . .2 UNCONFIRMED sexual interactions in the past a groomer for getting with Penelope and maybe introducing her to his interests (after spending YEARS listening to her and cherishing her and thinking she's fantastic) but will root on the actual 30+ year old man with an enormous power imbalance over her via his money and title to have his way with her in a backroom somewhere after knowing her for like a month
make it make sense please
#if that 30+ year old man doesn't get his grubby paws off that teenager i will start blasting#anti debling#polin#one of these men is actively being weird with her and it isn't colin#'oh but he's courting her openly' he is feeling up on her in broad daylight in a time when so much as touching HANDS was scandalous#he is a 30 year old guy who showed up THIS YEAR with an enormous power imbalance between him and this 19 year old woman#she is a third daughter in an unpopular family who has to marry well to survive and he is a lord from out of town#looking for a wife and immediately went for the unpopular girl standing off to the side fidgeting with no one else paying attention to her#and y'all are out here DROOLING for it#i do NOT understand!!!!#idk he gives me the ick#and don't come at me about 'well that was normal for the time!!!'#i hated it when anthony did it to edwina i hated it when simon did it to daphne and i hate that fife did it with goring#it is WEIRD to be a wealthy and powerful man with a title going for a teenager#like do y'all think DEBLING is a virgin??? really
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funny how everyone seemed to adore Zack until he started having more screentime...
#it's honestly very surprising. i see hate towards him almost every day since Remake came out and i wish i was kidding#and yeah yeah i know other characters get lots of hate too but the hate towards him has been so sudden and random???#idk maybe he *was* hated before but i just didn't notice#but at the same time no. i'm 100% sure the hate increased considerably after he was shown to be alive in the Remake#i feel like some people are just weirdly concerned he is gonna overshadow the main characters which is stupid#this story is still about Cloud and the others#we're just gonna explore another reality (allegedly) with Zack it's not that deep bro#(rebirth spoilers) -> even in Zack's timeline Cloud AND Aerith are there#and who knows how many more#like i get shippers being petty because when are they not petty#but i've seen non-shippers/casual players saying they do not want to see more of him and being all bitter bc he's important#he's always been important you all just refuse to acknowledge it!!!#no matter how many times hamaguchi nomura nojima etc say he's super important ppl just keep denying it 💀#as if y'all know more than the freaking devs i'm getting tired of this bs#my post#i'm glad the devs love him as much as we do. cry about it
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ohhh, da fandom, how i've not fucking missed you lmaooo the new game's release is still a month away but already i'm reminded exactly why i became convinced i'd never want anything to do with that franchise again. jesus christ. except this time im 30 and hopefully better at tailoring my online experience to not exhaust me & make me pissed and anxious (even if half of da tumblr is like. already laser-focused on making this a shit experience for everyone who stumbles upon their fuckass posts huh hfgjhjhjd)
anyway i'm listening & learning & blocking even MORE tags & not looking at SHIT until i play the game myself <3 For Real this time. "oh but surely it's just an innocent opinion and not a spoiler or anything--" that is the devil talking. all posts abt veilguard rn are full of shit, on account of The Game Isn't Fucking Out Yet How Are You Guys Already Having Novel-Length Opinions (TM)!!!! anyway i simply don't need that kind of energy in my life
i enjoy these games too much to be chased outta here by deranged drama i'm not even a part of again 😭 get fucked & god unbless
#don't mind this both the readmore and the tags are just one long rant on the topic of Bitching About The Dragon Age Fandom <3#personal blah#sdjhfjkj that one post making fun of this fandom and its drama and callouts.... it really is LITERALLY like that no exaggeration#y'all are so fuckin stupid god bless! idk what's funnier#the people who already formed a full comprehensive opinion abt the game based on the spoilers and scraps of news we've been given#(the opinion is of course that it's All Bad!! what else!! 'veilguard will NEVER be origins idk why i even bothered' it's so dark in here)#OR the people who full ass expected some masterpiece of storytelling that will tie in EVERY single loose strand of story together#and that will bring ALL of the previous playable characters and ALL the companions back (or at least SURELY the ones they like!! duh!!)#be so fr rn 😭 it's a new game!! new story!! for the love of god can we move on long enough to experience something new#& also you guys KEEP getting big mad disappointed by EVERY new bioware game. Why Did You Think This Would Be Different.#we've BEEN here before. how have we not learned anything#you hated da2 and inquisition too like jhjhgjgfhh at this point maybe Adjust Your Expectations at least a little? Just A Thought#shoutout also to the people who are mad about how much the game seems--key word SEEMS mind you--to be focused on solas#i'm super not crazy about him either but the game was literally called dreadwolf for most of it's development like. what did you EXPECT#ANYWAY. fjghfhjkd#dav#<- that's for my blog navigation. potentially. i might start tagging all the games for myself again idk we'll see#god i needed to get this off my chest fjghjhjk i feel so light now. emptied all my annoyance into the void and now i'm all 😌😇
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me: I'm going to recover from my addiction, this is going to be so great for me, this will improve my mental health in the long run
my old, recovered ED: hi! 💖💕 I think now is the time you need me back in your life
#I'm not going to fall back into it I'm not going to fall back into it#I'm telling myself I will not fall back into it I will resist#my meds are making me feel so out of control of my weight and it's fucking awful#and it's so so so so triggering to my old ED tendencies#my ED was very much so a control thing and I hate that I'm out if control#I was at a stable weight for so long so it wasnt like a problem#but now it's unstable#and I am feeling so upset about it#also my wheelchair is starting to not fit which is like an actual problem#idk what to do about that one y'all#tw weight
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I hate how if you do art ppl will tell you to do something more valuable with your time. Dont get me wrong, they'll tell you your art looks so nice and stuff but then turn around right after like they didnt just say that and spout 'advice' at you. I hate how you have to prove the value in something to make it seem worthwhile. Like no Nisha, i dont do art because im good at it, i do it stay sane. I do it because it makes me happy. I do it because i stopped for a year and it was the most miserable year of my life. I dont care that it doesn't 'have value'. Shut up.
#esha rambles#art#what even decides the value of something?#does something that makes you happy not have value if its not making or going to make you money?#i hate this society that places so much value in time=productivity/money#what about happiness?? mental health???#ppl keep discussing declining mental health in society like its some big mystery#like idk have y'all ever thought maybe its the fact that everything we do has to have some kind of profit for it to have value?#i cant sit and think about life enough to find the beauty in it#every time i sit still all i feel is anxiety about life‚ the things happening in this world‚ whether I'll even get a job in the future#and thats not even scratching the surface#im feeling the anxiety crawling up right now as i sit and write this#and you know when i wasnt feeling this anxiety? WHEN I WAS PAINTING SMTH#im not even good at painting‚ i dont know enough about composition and color theory and hell about how the paint works#but GOD it gives me peace#i feel peaceful when im painting flowers#even if they look a bit weird and flawed‚ those are the only flaws in something of mine that i dont mind#i hate that people are alwas trying to take that away from me#i hate that i let them once#the tags are a bit big im sorryyyy#i just had to get it off my chest
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i swear every time we see a singlet of all people going into detail about their anti-endo stances and lumping it in with like people generally seen as bad it just gives me the urge to be more annoyingly plural on main everywhere bc at that point i can just tell that systems existing in general makes you uncomfortable on some level if you feel the need to dictate which systems are okay and acceptable by your standards bc even the ones you claim to accept will not always fall into the rules of the imaginary box you've set up and therefore will never be a safe person for any system to go to as a singlet
like honest to god you will be much safer as someone if you just. idk. give respect any system you come across and treat them with decency regardless of whether you understand or not because you are not going to have the full understanding of any system experience if you truly and fully are a singlet. you don't need to give your take of "i think [specific group of systems/plurals] is as bad as [x]" or "i don't think there's as many systems as there are really bc that's too rare" your singlet opinion on system discourse is meaningless
i'm not even saying this as part of a system who's collectively pro endo i'm saying this as someone who thinks singlets need to stop getting as involved in syscourse as some of them are in general. like at worst just state your stance and don't elaborate so i know whether to block you or not anything more is 10x more annoying if you're a singlet
#cal.txt#pluralgang#tw syscourse#<- for filtering purposes we try to avoid talking syscourse much bc it annoys us every day and we come here to just say shit#idk it's kind of like complicated for us to explain bc like generally yes staying neutral is better if you know Nothing i feel but also#like??? if one group is spewing constant hate towards one i think there's an obvious answer here but whatever anyways#i'mm. tired i lowkey considered posting this on our main but i thought better of it maybe i'll reblog it there later though#but like. idk in general it's really annoying to randomly come across this from singlets in the wild bc liiike#i can tell you either just got this from your exclus friends or didn't do proper research on your own on both sides of this or both#so like. idk if i would feel safe around u as a primarily trauma based system ourselves#(we're other things too but that's the only one we ever fully disclose bc like. does it really matter y'all)#like our singlet friends don't really get system related stuff but them not caring much for how or what makes us feel more like.#willing to be open about it and not fully mask 100% of the time does that make sense#like if you have these expectations of what systems should be like i don't trust you! i do not trust singlets against endogenic systems!!#bc if you're coming to a system with a full stance Against specific systems i don't trust you to be normal about systems that slightly-#-fall outside of your preconceived biases about what systems should or shouldn't be like.#anyways idk my one syscourse related rant don't expect me or anyone else in this system to do it again any time soon#bc we highly dislike discourse from anywhere it's. exhausting and annoying and saddening
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#just watched a jack edwards video where he read yellowface and let me just give my 2 cents that no one asked for#so i'm asian. surprise. if y'all didn't know already#and i really feel like rf kuang's books are just not that good. in fact i would say they are very catered to white people#who are learning about colonialism or even asian people for the first time#it's like barbie being feminism 101 lol#most of the people i've seen say that babel or yellowface are the most groundbreaking books on earth are guess what. white people!#i've read babel. it was good and she obviously knows what she's talking about because there was so much information in it#but it was not the best book I've ever read. characters were bland. I've read the poppy war. good but not that great towards the end#my friend (singaporean but born in china) read yellowface and she absolutely fucking hates it#she gave me her copy to read but idk if i want to because none of rf kuang's books have stood out to me so far#that's not to say you can't love her books. and if you learn from them then that's great!#but don't treat her as objectively the best writer of our time when it is your own lack of knowledge that leads you to think that#also while we're on the topic#i fucking hate the bell jar#it's so WHITE#and the racism towards chinese people that 90% of y'all don't seem to get from reading the book is quite insane
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about one of my last rbs. so like remember when i was like "haha but what if.. what if bi lesbian actually does fit me as a label.." and. IT ACTUALLY KINDA DOES. like when i simply say i'm bi it feels a bit weird bc it's like "o-oh but like 90% of people i'm attracted to are women" but when i say i'm a lesbian it's like "OH NO. I AM LYING. I AM A HORRIBLE LIAR BECAUSE I STILL DO LIKE MEN AND NONBINARY PEOPLE AND ANY OTHER GENDERS TOO. OH NO.... SO SORRY LESBIABS.." so it's like. yeah i'm kind of a mix of those
now we have another problem. saying i'm a graysexual bi lesbian demigirl is. is really. it's way too long.
#I HATE LABELS!!!!!! BUT I ALSO LOVE THEM BC IT FEELS NICE TO HAVE A NAME FOR EVERYTHING!!!!! RAAHHHHHHH#ykw. idk. if anyone is curious about my sexuality or gender i'll just go “assign me one” HSHSAKAKSLSL#but also yeah i actually changed labels many times throughout my life#like i tried an asexual label for some time but it didn't feel quite right#(aroace people y'all will always be so much stronger than me)#and i actually did think i'm a lesbian when i was VERY young but then i was like “no i'm still attracted to men. fuck”#SORRY FOR RAMBLING. LINA'S OUT#[ 💚 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 ]
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ppl who only conditionally care about child abuse based on whether the victim makes them uncomfy while they're being abused contribute to a real life child's abuse by sending hate asks regularly, attempting to gaslight them, calling them terrible names, accusing them of terrible things, telling them directly how much they hate the characters the child relates to and enjoys talking about, and being generally racist and ableist in a way that seriously might have scarred me for life, making a literal teenager hate their hobbies, favorite shows, and the people who enjoy those things, and ultimately cyberbullying a child out of multiple fandoms because they don't want to think critically or acknowledge their own faults, all while being 35 and really embarrassing themselves because someone half their age has a better grasp on the concept of nuance than them: more at 6
but noooo, y'all "love neurodivergent/disabled people," have "racists/ableists DNI" in your bios, and don't say slurs, which is all you have to do to not be racist/ableist, so *I'm* some psycho black bitch and you're a wittle angel like the fictional character you infantilize
(P.S. I swear to fucking god if people respond to this post with "but he sexually assaulted someone" and ignore literally every other personality trait/experience he had that could've been relatable to a child abuse survivor and the way people mistreated me, a real human being, which Charlie is not by the way, I will start doing the things you wanted to do to Ben)
#heartstopper#young royals#ben hope#sara eriksson#<- the main people that are hated so much people will bully kids about it#yes i'm tagging. bc what the fuck is wrong with y'all#i had a more angry one. the ps is a sample from that. but having emotions is kind of cringe and embarrassing#basically uncovering memories about my indi-glo era#is very similar to uncovering memories about the child abuse some people here think i didn't go through at all#because i sympathized with a fellow victim! it's like being abused by my abusers but liberal edition#so i would just like to say you deserve the angry version#i hope you reflect and grow or whatever. that is my brand. BUT#y'all are fragile. and shallow. and you should try actually learning things about a group before you call yourself an ally of any group#this does include groups you are a part of. i'm telling you right now you're not getting it#if you feel so comfortable attacking disabled Black children when they point out ableism and racism in a show you like#and your first/only response is to dismiss ignore and attack them#i would recommend you learn something instead. you desperately need it#thanks for teaching me what racist idiots white people can be and what a fringe case i am in the pop disability community ig#anyways idk if this is self-centered to ask but if anyone who follows this blog would want to take ownership of it#in the event that i decide to blow this popsicle stand pls dm me
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i feel like hating on a media has an expiration date
like i don't mean legit crit but like
shitting on shows su-crit style even if like i objectively agree that i don't like parts of a show it kind of just makes me tilt my head and go
you're running a salt blog on this show? several years after it's over? reiterating the same points SEVERAL times ad infinitum? like you're in the fucking trenches of the infinity war on this cartoon? i don't even think this is that constructive of media crit on this show at this point?
I'm not even mad about any of that it's just that in my experience. how do you even find the time.
i have my hands full actually commenting on and experiencing and creating shit i like. how do you find the time for this??
#i mean y'all do you and I'm sure on some level I'm being unintentionally hypocritical#but i just do NOT get the point of like. this echo cave timeloop of people repeating the same points to each other#if it's actual further analysis on why something doesn't work that i can understand#but like just little snippy hashtag OWNING THIS CARTOON SHOW is fucking weird to me#but also imo finding relatively harmless fandom posts and like continously being snippy abt them is also really rude to me#like again i get commentating on fandom takes but like injecting discourse into someone's post who wasn't about that.#like this feels incredibly one sided where one side is just. doing fandom shit and having fun but the other will just swarm to these posts#like fucking ants. like i get serious issues w a show but like. idk i think it's slowly becoming less of 'talking about these kind of#serious flaws' into 'cannot let go of how much we hate this show' which. i mean. i guess you do you because I'm not even that concerned abt#people in any particular fandom it just seems unhealthy to me.#also unfortunately a lot of people who id usually agree w on this are also. Similarly Kind of Intense and Like That fandom people so.#**walks into the sea**
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Hi! Have you seen that nct jaehyun, dooyoung and jungwoo made a sub-unit? Their song is called perfume and it is just SO FUN! The song itself reminds me of some of the old suju songs because the beat is so fun and makes you wanna dance, but the choreography is also ridiculously fun! You should check it out) I was reading your posts about the lack of fun in kpop, and this was honestly very refreshing to see. The mini-album is also quite good, and they even did a live-band cover of their songs. As always, nct guys are incredibly talented musically, good job
i actually really did not like their release....or their subunit.....or the album............
#like are they musically talented? yes. are the songs fine and technically good? sure#but i find them SO bland and im pissed off that theyre using the full nct brand for this discount cbx nonsense#should have been an nct lab!!! or an sm station!!!#also ngl i fucking hate the mv. like i HATE it. i have NO patience for pov fanservice stuff it makes my skin crawl. its insufferable#is it an effective method? sure. but i am NOT the target audience and am very much Too Gay for that#its one of my true pet peeves. i really. really fucking hate it and the fact that the mv was mostly like. 'chic perfume commercial'#was quite literally rage inducing.#so uh. sorry. that release is actually the opposite of fun (for me)#text#answers#nct w#slkdjfsd im so sorry you send me an ask and its RIGHT on a topic that i feel very strongly in the negative about lmao#pls dont be offended its not personal#also i need to clarify. i never said that kpop itself wasnt fun. kpop has and will always be fun.#i specifically said that a lot of fans (kpoppies) TREAT kpop like its not fun/actively eschew the fun parts of kpop#like flop groups or brighter concepts or just. taking it all too damn seriously#fans are not willing to look outside the main popular groups and so they dont actually SEE groups doing fun and cool and interesting things#like if you want to watch an actually fun mv go watch blitzers macarena#also idk how to tell you this but. ACTUAL nct music is so insanely fun. this ''subunit'' was just made to appease all the ''fans''#who complain nonstop about 'how nct sucks now' when THEY DONT Y'ALL JUST WONT ACCEPT THAT YOU DONT LIKE SOMETHING UR FAVES MADE#anyways. i will stop talking now since this is probably gonna make ppl mad lmao#my nuclear take is that most nct fans dont actually like nct as a concept. they only like the idols. and those people are wrong
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"Reasons to not kiss him...
You weren't raised to love tender.
When he's around you all you do is tremble. When he's around you want to get on your knees. Look how much power he has over you. It's dangerous.
He's too good at forgiving and you're too good at violence.
You know what they say about monsters. You know what happens to the boys that love them. Are you going to do that to him?
Your hands don't know how to be gentle. Think about the last beautiful thing that shattered in your palms. The fresh rosebuds crumbling between your fingers like a bruise. You wolf-boy. You war machine. You wouldn't know how to hold something magic and not destroy it.
If you hurt him it might kill you.
If you hurt him they'll say it was only a matter of time.
If you hurt him you might kill yourself.
You are very bad at rehabilitation. This is one addiction you'd fail to give up. He's going to ruin you for all other kisses and all other boys and you'll spend the rest of your life trying to forget his name.
You still aren't sure he isn't a dream.
If you kiss him you might wake up.
Reasons to kiss him...
Because he's beautiful.
Because he asked.
Because he preceded please with I'm not afraid of you.
Because life wasn't real until he was to you."
#idk where this is from but there's a post with this and the app effed it up and I love this so fucking much#I have so many feelings about this and it all just involves Angelus and his pining after Jelani#like I mostly just talk about his and Jelani's mutual pining but what I hardly if ever talk about#is the straight up torture Angelus went through after he realized he was in love with Jelani and wanted him#I added two extra lines to drive the point home lol if you can tell which ones they are you're legit divine in my eyes#as y'all know Angelus was raised and conditioned to hate himself and everything he is#anything and everything that made him...well...him was seen as filthy unnatural and a crime#he was also taught that he was an unlovable monster and no matter what he was always going to hurt those he loved and there was nothing#he or anyone else could do to stop it#that it was in his nature to hurt others and no one would be spared#so he grew up with that mentality and when he found out what love was he was scared to death#instead of enjoying it he was petrified that this man he came to admire and love would be hurt#simply because he loved him#for years he tried to reason against his feelings for Jelani#that he couldn't possibly stand to be the one to hurt him for his crime of loving him#because he was...in his head...a monster that only destroys because it was in his blood#so with that in mind plus the aching of never daring to tell him how much he loves him and wanted to be with him#was pretty much torture and you can just guess how many nights he cried himself to sleep believing those lies#his abusers embedded into him#he even thought he was a selfish killer because he so wanted to confess to him how much he loved him#and even dared to think his love for him would be strong enough to stop him from hurting him#it was super dramatic in a sad and desperate way#even now he sometimes has nightmares of hurting him just like his abusers said he would#Angelus tag#Jelani tag#Jelani/Angelus#oc things#my gay little babies 💞
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#micah's musings#vent#please don't rb#i am. having another 1am breakdown lmao#i don't remember the last time i managed not to do this#except the days where i sleep like 16 hours bc i'm too sad to function#i just. idk. i was hit with the realization that almost everything that ever brought me joy breaks my heart now#certain songs make my chest physically ache bc i'll never feel the way i did listening to them as i walked dark city streets at night#dnd hurts bc that one session took like 4? 5 years? of love and work and my entire BEING and slapped me in the face with it#my dice do the same thing#steven universe makes me ache for much the same reason as certain songs#thinking about haunt season hurts bc of the way my partner and i were treated regarding it recently#almost everything i love has come back to hurt me lately and it feels like things will never be ok again#i'm just exhausted. i want to be able to stop. but i can't afford to#so i'm stuck in this godsawful loop#do my work - apply for other jobs - get ghosted - do my work - apply for jobs - land 1 interview out of 70+ apps - get ghosted#i hate this. i wanna stop. i wanna stop. it's never gonna get better and i just wanna stop#anyway. i'm sorry. i needed to get it off my chest. everything hurts. hope y'all are well
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Please Please Please
Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader
Warnings: None
Authors Note: this isn't what the poll was for dw lmao | also I've been caught out by lando once again 😭 he's just the best fit for this song
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yourusername
📍Buenos Aires, Argentina
liked by taylorswift landonorris and 2,349,022 others
yourusername Had a great time opening for #TSTheErasTour in Buenos Aires! Muchas gracias, Argentina! 🇦🇷
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user1 so so so pretty 😭
user2 I was there 🥰
user3 loml
user4 I LOVE HER SO MUCH
user5 just looked in the mirror and sighed
user6 my favorite outfit from this leg of the tour
taylorswift 💕
yourusername 💕
user7 I FEEL SO MUCH LIGHTER LIKE A FEATHER WITH YOU OFF MY MIND
user8 that second picture is so adorable I’m screaming 😭😭😭
user9 IM TALKING NONSENSE
user10 new album when???
user11 Lando Norris in the likes??? 😭
user12 wait who is that
user13 an f1 driver 😭
user12 what’s he doing here
user13 idk 😭
user14 Y/N RUN QUICK LANDOS HERE
user15 we can’t let him get her 😭
user16 she’s so pretty I’m in love with her 🫶
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yourusername added to their story
landonorris
🤩🤩🤩🤩
yourusername
🤭🤭🤭🤭
landonorris
I saw you open for Taylor
in Brazil
your were wonderful
yourusername
I’m flattered 🥰
landonorris
I’d be even more flattered if I could take you on a date
yourusername
You usually this confident?
landonorris
No, I’m actually not
yourusername
Well
I’d love to go on a date with you Mr Norris
landonorris
😅 thank god that worked
You ever around Monaco?
yourusername
Not usually
But I could be 😚
I’m off next week <3
landonorris
Perfect
See you then
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TWITTER
MESSAGES
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
liked by landonorris jackantonoff and 4,777,008 others
yourusername that’s that me espresso ☕️🩵
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user17 rip sharpay evans you would’ve loved espresso by y/n l/n
user18 it’s actually so good omg
user19 best song ever made fr
user20 love love love
user21 truly that girl
user22 ON REPEAT
user23 I love her more than life
user24 IM WORKING LATE CUS IM A SINGERRRRRR
user25 face card never declines
jackantonoff rly good!
yourusername thanks jacky 🥰
user26 jack x y/n collab when???
user27 Landos back in the likes…
user28 free my girl from the shackles of a man
user29 oh my god is the song about him
user30 they haven’t been seen together in a while so I sure hope not 😭
user31 song of the year
user32 🩵🩵🩵
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yourusername added to their story
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
liked by taylorswift maxfewtrell and 4,000,112 others
yourusername I'm working lateee cuz its my birthdayyy 💛
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user33 how to lose a guy in 10 days dress!!! 💛
user34 💛💛💛
user35 that polaroid looks suspiciously like lando
user36 that could legitimately be anyone
user37 of course but unfortunately she's been seen with him recently so…
user38 not lando…
user39 so pretty 🤩
user40 y'all rly hate lando? That mans been so supportive I legit can't not like him
user41 ikr! I'm a proud lando defender. No reason to hate him.
user42 I love them together idc
maxfewtrell happy birthday!
yourusername thanks max 🫶
user43 still not convinced that's lando
user44 girl.
user45 😍
user46 happy birthday girl!!!
user47 my favorite pop girlie
user48 IM WORKING LATEEEEE
user49 queen 👑
user50 I love lando 💛💛💛
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yourusername
🎵 Please Please Please - Y/N L/N
liked by landonorris maxverstappen and 9,880,771 others
yourusername I know I have good taste
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user51 hardest of hard launches
user52 I LOVE THEM TOGETHER I DONT CARE
user53 favourite couple 💛
user54 gorgeous gorgeous people
user55 LANDOOOOO
user56 lando wasn't even acting in that video that's just how down bad he is
user57 that first pic… 😍
user58 bring your bf to work day
user59 ...okay maybe I like him 🙄
user60 wait hes kinda hot 😭
user61 my royal couple
maxverstappen is lando gonna be an actor now???
yourusername its a good backup plan if the driving thing doesn't work out
landonorris I think I'll leave the acting to you
maxverstappen that's for the best mate
user62 lmao max
user63 they're so pretty 🥰🥰🥰
user64 so it couple core
user65 ATEEEE
landonorris yeah you do 💛
yourusername 🙄💛
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landonorris added to their story
user1
Y'all r so cute
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user2
yeah she is
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user3
😍😍😍😍
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user4
I still don't trust you car boy
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user5
the music video was so good!!!!
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yourusername
I love you 💛
landonorris
love you too 💛
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@casperlikej @evie-119
#scheduled#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 smau#lando norris x you#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x female reader#lando norris imagine#lando imagine#lando x reader#lando norris x reader
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