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#idk WHO I'd WANT to write as though
heartbeetz · 11 months
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F/ovember is cute and I did it last year (I think?) but I'm not very good at it. Idk how to write as my f/os well + it feels weird + I don't usually put super in-depth thought into the kind of stuff ask games often center on. Nonetheless, I'm tempted to maybe do it again this year. But idk.
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lokisaved · 8 months
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The wildest thing about getting to take a photo with Tom is that it didn't feel quite real, like he wasn't a real person standing there in front of me that I was about to be right next to. I partially attribute that to how fast the line was going, but even if I had a bit more time to process, I surely would have felt the same: that a man whose life, basically, I had been following since 2013, was in the same room as me and I was mere feet away.
I was lightheaded in the moments prior to the photo, although whether due to being hungry and needed water or overwhelmed suddenly despite not feeling it before (and thrown off by the girl in front of me trying to hold a brief conversation and the crew trying to escort her away), I'm not sure. I do wonder how Tom feels about the whole thing, about how fast it went.
We greeted each other, I got to shake his hand (his hand really is big, much larger than I expected, yet when he shook mine, it didn't feel overwhelming, and he didn't crush me), he put his arm behind me and mine behind him (his coat was quite soft; my mom speculated it's a nice/fancy wool), we smiled, FLASH, I thanked him (I can't recall if he thanked me), and off I went.
While fast, definitely 100% worth it. I've never had the chance to go anywhere else he's been due to time and money, but this time, the stars aligned.
I was lucky enough to have enough income to be able to do that plus get better seating for the live show, which was also definitely worth it; I wasn't as close as I would have liked, but better than higher up—and the general seating filled up really fast, so much so that when it got delayed due to autographs (I get the sense they overbooked him, because he had to go BACK after it was done), they told us not to leave the theatre because so many people couldn't get in.
Anyway, I absolutely loved being able to hear him talk in person, and he told pretty much all new stories this time! At least, new to me, but I'm pretty sure most of them had not been told before, probably because the audience got to ask the questions (using a Google forms from the week before that was only open for twenty-four hours AND I MISSED—and they had apparently 84 questions?? Surely they could have left that open longer, then).
I really hope I get the opportunity to see him in person again in some form or fashion; i.e. I'd probably do an autograph, or if he's got enough live event, just pay for good seating for that. I don't know if I'll get so lucky a second time, and I will definitely cherish this for a long while.
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multishipper-baby · 3 months
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Also I remembered that I hadn't yet talked about Bonnie's deal in the killing game, despite him being one of the survivors, so I might as well talk about it now.
The thing about Bonnie is that he kind of shuts off a lot from the rest of the group. While the others all form their own little cliques, he's more on the distrustful side, and tends to keep to himself so as to not make himself a possible target- he's already been a target for bullies most of his life, he'd rather not become a target for murderers now. Despite that, he does end up making two friends over the course of the killing game: Bon and Fox. Both of which are somewhat similar to how it happened in canon.
With Bon, they start hanging out pretty early on since Bonnie is a hobbyist guitar player, and he asks Bon to give him some advice. At which Bon figures out that Bonnie is actually, uh, way too advanced to be called a hobbyist. Advanced enough to threaten his status as the Ultimate Guitarist player, with just how good he is (Bonnie jokes that he got that way from playing so much Guitar Hero. Bon isn't amused). They form a rivalry from then on, frequently spending time together practicing and making up stupid challenges to one up each other. Bonnie teaches Bon how to be better at videogames in return, since he sucks at most of them. I'm keeping Bon's crush on Bonnie, but I'm not sure if it'll be requited or not...
With Fox it comes down mostly to them having a similar sense of humor, and a small degree of necessity- Bonnie knows his chances of living all the way to the end are low, so he's hoping that sticking next to the tallest and strongest guy in the class will keep him safe. Meanwhile, Fox is not really all that observant or smart, so he's banking on Bonnie keeping an eye out for any trouble or anything that might later be useful for a trial. A brains and brawn duo, you could say.
Of course, all this means that when Fox kills Bon on Chapter 4, he... Doesn't take it very well. He's already been pulling away from the group more and more as the tensions rise, and this becomes his final straw- because for the entirety of Chapter 5, Bonnie is locked in his room. He raided the kitchen the night of the trial to stock his room full of snacks, and is planning on staying there for as long as needed. Mostly, he's just lost faith in the group, and is fully expecting them to continue killing each other until the game ends because only two players remain. The only time he leaves his room is for the next class trial, since attendance is mandatory... And boy does that trial not give him much hope for the future.
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eudaemon-m · 10 months
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ok so im in glb beta again. i have 15 paragraphs of opinions about fonts in new UI, i think that aside from the fonts (godawful as ever, only now when everything else is new and sleek they look even worse. like they mostly use a font similar to roboto bold (?) in most places and it looked bad with old interface and it looks even worse with the new one. literally even any other form of roboto would've been better. okay that's a topic for a longer post) and a rather dull background in valk menu it's actually pretty great and nice to navigate and a good change and has some useful new stuff! like it's Good Actually. ALSO NEW GRISEO IS AWESOME the meteor is kinda silly but she feels really nice and smooth to play . just cool. it's more of a personal opinion i just prefer battlesuits that feel more "cool" to play rather than "elegant". and she's pretty fun
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quatregats · 5 days
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I also need to scan all the photos I took from my family's house which are like ca. 1920s? 1930s? of Kerala but also there are some of Rangoon and Ceylon (Yangon and Sri Lanka) which.....idk man I'm just thinking about the histories and the circulations and the British Empire and the movement of people and don't mind me I'm going off the rails here :')
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piningpercussionist · 7 months
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literally my favorite blog on tumblr. Ur perfect at being Kim Pine and I love the little notes it the tags :3
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(^ this is me at you rn)
Thank you so much <333 it seriously means the world to me that people love/like my Kim stuff. AND to know that some of yall actually read my silly little notes
I try to keep her as in character as I can, and I feel I have been largely successful, for the most part. I feel like she comes fairly naturally to me- I only occasionally hit snags,, but usually that's just because I'm high or something and am overcome with the desire to Maximize The Silly shfgkjshjld She's so serious though, usually. I love her <3 I love getting to be her for The People
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coquelicoq · 1 year
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i finally wrote an xword that i think might be nyt-submittable...i originally wrote it for the local paper though so i now have to go back through and rework the clues to take out the specific local ones and make some of the others harder. i know exactly which day of the week this would run in the nyt (if it gets accepted) because this type of theme always runs on the same day, so at least i know which clue difficulty to aim for, but i'm still finding it difficult to hit that precise level! i'm used to just making the clues as easy as possible because my local paper's audience is mostly people who aren't xword aficionados. i already reworked this puzzle a couple times based on feedback from friends and family but that was all still when i thought i'd be running it in my local paper. i kinda just want to be done with it but i've never had a theme and fill i thought were completely nyt-worthy before!
#i've been thinking that i would write a puzzle that was intended for the nyt from the beginning#but i never prioritize it because the local paper is actually expecting something from me and i have deadlines with them#so this might be the only way it ever actually happens#i feel kinda bad for the local paper that they don't even get my best work haha but also this theme would probably be too hard#for most of their audience (though let's face it probably all of my puzzles are too hard for various reasons)#aw shoot though i just reread the submission guidelines and they're specifically looking for themes OTHER THAN this type#hmmm#cruciverbs#i also wouldn't mind submitting this in collaboration with a more experienced constructor who could help me with the clues#and i imagine such people are always looking for greenhorn collaborators because it allows them to have >3 submissions#in the queue...but i don't even know how one goes about finding such people#if i submit it and they reject it no harm no foul EXCEPT that i don't know how long it would take them to get back to me#and if this isn't going to run in the nyt then i'd still like to run it in the local paper#but also maybe if they reject it they'll be like 'we don't want this but you seem to have promise so here's the email address of#one of our veteran constructors who would be willing to work with you on other ideas you may have'#i just made that up idk if they would actually do that haha but it seems plausible. and wouldn't it be nice?#i do have another nyt-specific idea that i've been spinning my wheels on for like two years#hmm hmm hmm. i think my best bet is still to rework these clues and submit it and see what happens#worst case scenario is they never get back to me. which is a distinct possibility given what happened with my#american xword puzzle tournament previous year solved puzzles (ie they never got back to me >:( )#but that was will shortz. this is will shortz plus like 5 other people. he probably doesn't even see new submissions
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slippery-minghus · 7 months
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dunno if i'm gonna rally the spoons and nerve to apply to some new jobs (i suppose we'll see how this week's vibe goes) but i updated my resume and i'm feeling pretty good about it 💪
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aquarianlights · 2 years
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✨️ I just kind of want to die rn. ✨️
#im srs tho#i feel fucking terrible#im still coming down from anesthesia and im so fatigued and tired#if it were not for echo i would take an overdose rn and be done with it#except for the fact i am horribly scared of respiratory depression#suffocating is one of my worst fears so...#i just really want to get a gun#ik my girlfriend has lots of guns#im not legally allowed to have a gun and idk how to find them on the black market#but since my gf has them... ive been thinking about it... thinking about waiting until we live together and waiting until echo passes#and then I'd have no issues just... taking one... it's not like I'd be keeping it or using more than one bullet#im sure she would forgive me and id write a note anyways#notes* rather... addressing multiple people personally with her being one of them. id apologize for using her gun but where else would i#get one? she is the only person ik who has guns coz her family is a hunting family.#oh well....that's been on my mind ever since i found out she has guns and also really wants us to live together. i always thought if one#were in the house with me that it would be so easy to use when i feel like this and just get it over with#instead i hesitate because i dont have the right methods... and i end up feeling okay or better later. only to come back to suicidal later#so a gun would be best i think... that way i can take care of it in the moment and get it over with. i just need a gun to do it.#unfortunately my girlfriend is the only one ik who has them so... it's gonna have to be hers#that's a long way off though. echo is only 9 years old and his breed lives into the 16-18 years old phase. i wont leave until echo is gone#depression#sad#sadness#suicidal#suicide#crying#pain#upset#personal#depressed
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azuregold · 2 years
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…Brain, why did you just dump an idea on me for a time travel fic, of all things? Do you know how long those can get? Do you know how many other fic ideas I already have (yes, you do, because you’re the one who gave them to me)? Whyyyy would you do this to me?
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snazum · 2 months
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Working on a little (big) project, finally figured out the storyline I want to go with, that's all I'll say, it's called IYKYK. Literatly thats the project name, it might change but it's quite what it means. but if you don't know? That's okay too! I'm hoping to tell a compelling story anyways. This is probably gonna take a couple years to do though XD
If you are interested this is the playlist I'll be working with. Yes I'm planning on making video visuals for this project (I'd say animating but I'm gonna be using a bunch of different techniques, also animating is hard af and takes a long time and I'm not exactly an animator.) Also you get to learn a little bit of my music taste now XD
#snazum draws#snazum talks#original character#i want to explain it all so bad but also I don't want to put that dirty laundry out there. So it shall be a story that my irls know#and if friends who don't know want to know i'm more than willing to explain it!!!#seriously though I'd love to yap someones head off bout this project it's just a little heavy with the topics#okay fine i'm yapping in here vaguely#so i started this round half a year to a year ago probably to work through my emotions about everything#obviously now I'm in a much better headspace so it's less vent and more exploration and an autobiography through representation/metaphors#basically exploring it all through fictitious stories to explore my emotions without going into details about the events of my life#Yeah that's bout it :> that's why I say the project deals with heavy topics#obviously if u wanna hear more bout the project without the heavy details I can do that too!!!#I don't really want to get into the heavy details anyways. would rather just explain the emotional side and the intricacies of the project#I loveeee symbolism and metaphors and exploring the depth of human emotions and how we cope with our reality#specifically my human emotions and how I cope with my reality#but seriously i love human psychology it's just easier to write what you know lol#but once again this project did originally start as a vent piece so it has just shifted to a healing piece#also like. idk maybe if people like it enough (or i do) i may just explore the worlds of these ocs more in depth as well#maybe noah moreau can finally be detatched from m4ss 3ffect XD#sorry just don't want that showing up in the tag search love tumblr#Project: IYKYK
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dont-offend-the-bees · 5 months
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I'm SO TIRED the FUCK
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wisheswagered · 1 year
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frederick replies and maybe a hastur starter call coming soon!! but also
i really want to know more about arthur byers and manus de capet. and maybe like. add them to this blog???
idk i love the whole hastur storyline and i’ve been interested in arthur for a while now... and as for manus, i do hope he’s someone who cared about his wife. he could turn out to be a terrible person and i’m sure i’d enjoy that kind of story too, but having another character who’s (semi) linked to frederick through mary who could actually connect with him would be. idk. sweet??
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astrxealis · 1 year
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okay i'm going to an ffxiv unofficial fan event in july this year and there's this wol (character) sticker exchange thing me and lune really want to participate in but 1. we don't really know how to draw yet 2. we don't really have money to commission. so. sobbing
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pyrriax · 2 years
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oh maaaaan... the temptation to push things back a bit so that i can get more elaboration done for the next act. (it'd probably be 30 -> 33 or 35 chapters)
i have no idea if anybody would mind that, or if it'd be fine, but like.
hm. hmmmm.
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inkedinshadows · 1 month
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Little Rainbow
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Pairing: Azriel × reader
Summary: When you can’t comfort your baby daughter, you bring her to her dad, who always manages to calm her down.
Warnings: just lots of fluff
Word count: 2.2k
A/N: I thought I'd try my hand at writing second person pov instead of third. It just felt natural to write this one in 2nd pov. Maybe I'll stick with it in the future idk. This was born out of my baby fever btw, enjoy!
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Azriel sensed you right before his shadows whispered of your arrival. He would recognize those steps and those soft wails anywhere.
A smile was already on his lips when the door opened with a small creak and you, his beautiful and loving mate, walked in holding your few-months-old daughter in your arms.
Leaning against the back of his chair, he watched as his shadows shot forward to greet the two of you, writhing around you and caressing your cheeks. You chuckled, but your daughter's soft cries stopped only for a moment before starting again, her little face even redder.
Azriel had spent centuries thinking he would never find love, that he wasn't good enough to deserve it. He was glad for his brothers’ happiness, and yet silently jealous of what they had. Brother, uncle, friend—he was grateful for it all, he truly was, but he longed for something more.
Then he met you.
Even before the mating bond snapped, he already knew you were the one. He had never been so smitten with someone in all his long years. He fell for you as quickly as a stone sinks in water, and finding out you were mates was just the cherry on top. He was convinced he could never love anything or anyone as much as he loved you.
But then you got pregnant. And when you gave birth, one look at the tiny bundle in Madja's arms was enough to prove him wrong. Seeing his mate holding his baby shortly after brought tears to his eyes, and he couldn't keep them from falling when you passed him Iris—named for the rainbow shining in the sky as she came into the world.
It was one of the happiest moments of his life, if not the happiest: looking down at the fragile, beautiful new life he had helped create.
But now, Iris was crying.
“One of those days?” he asked, his arms already outstretched toward his daughter.
“Yeah… sorry to interrupt you,” you answered with a sigh. You passed the baby to him and perched on the armrest of his chair. “But I tried feeding her, playing with her. I sang her all the lullabies I know. Nothing worked. She wants you.”
Azriel smiled down at Iris, holding her as if she were the most precious thing in the world. And to him, to you, she was. You were never interrupting when it was about her.
“You missed me, little rainbow?” he asked softly, a scarred finger trailing down her red, puffy cheeks. His shadows followed suit to swirl around her little face as if they could wipe away her tears.
He'd been scared at first—scared he would somehow taint something so perfect with his scarred hands, hands that had done things he had never been proud of. Though you had reassured him many times, his every concern melted away completely only when Iris had grabbed his pointer finger and innocently put it in her mouth.
It was exactly what she was doing now. Under Azriel's adoring gaze, his daughter wrapped her tiny hands around the finger he had just used to caress her and began contentedly sucking on it, her wails stopping for the moment.
“I don't understand how you do that,” you complained, though your tone was soft, your eyes full of pure love and adoration as you watched your mate and your baby. “She refused her binky when I gave it to her. Every. Single. Time.”
Azriel finally looked up from his child and met your gaze. Amusement sparked in his eyes at your grumble.
“Don't take it personally, love,” he said, curling one of his wings around you and gently nudging you with it. “She said ‘mama’ the other day.”
Catching on to his little wing bump, you slid from the armrest onto his lap, even as you rolled your eyes at him. “She didn't say 'mama’. She was just babbling. She's too young to say words, Az.”
Azriel hummed thoughtfully, but his gaze slid back to Iris. She was still clutching his finger, and even though it had been almost seven months since she was born, watching her was as mesmerizing as the first time.
She had his eyes—hazel with a speck of green—but her hair was the same shade as yours. The two of you had initially spent hours simply gazing at her, whether she was awake or asleep, endlessly debating who she resembled the most. You claimed she had inherited Azriel's nose, he said she had your mouth. The truth was, it was too soon to know for sure, but neither of you cared. She was your rainbow, and she would always be perfect in Azriel's eyes.
The one thing he wasn't sure how to feel about was the lack of wings. After Feyre's tragic experience while giving birth, he had been relieved when Madja announced that your baby wouldn't have them. He never wanted to see you in such pain or risk losing you during childbirth. And yet, he was still Illyrian. Nothing could change that. A part of him longed for the chance to teach his baby daughter to fly, to hear the song of the wind and feel that unparalleled sense of freedom that only came from soaring high in the sky.
“Maybe it's the shadows.”
Your voice dragged him back to reality, and he turned to you with a furrowed brow.
“Why she's always calmer around you,” you clarified, gesturing to the shadows swirling around Iris. You caressed her head, and her eyes tracked back to you as she giggled around Azriel's finger. “They soothe her.”
Azriel smiled, his heart soaring at the sound of his daughter's soft laughter. His wing curled more tightly around you, drawing you closer so he could place a gentle kiss on your temple. “She's just like her mom, isn't she?”
You could only nod, returning his loving smile with one of your own. It was true—his shadows had always been a safe space to you. The first time he had seen you upset, they rushed to you, swirling around you and brushing your cheeks and your neck until you chuckled. From that moment, whether it was anger, sadness, or fatigue, they would leave Azriel's side to cheer you up before he could even take a step in your direction.
Your head came to rest on Azriel’s shoulder and you both watched your daughter's eyes grow heavy, her lids starting to drop as she stubbornly tried to keep them open, her hold on her dad's finger relenting.
“You fall asleep so easily in daddy's arms, don't you, little rainbow?” you whispered as you tenderly booped her cute little nose. “Just like mommy.”
Azriel chuckled, placing his now-free hand on the small of your back to gently nudge you to stand up. “Let's go to bed, love.”
You rose from his lap, and he immediately felt the absence of your warmth against him, but you only stood in front of him with that cute frown of yours—the one that created a small crease between your brows that he always wanted to smooth with his thumb.
Azriel knew exactly what you were thinking.
During the last month of your pregnancy, he had asked Rhys to keep missions away from Velaris to a bare minimum. And after Iris was born, he had stopped taking on any missions that required him to be away for more than two days, because he simply couldn't bear the thought of being separated from you and his baby girl. After centuries, he had finally learned the meaning of the word “delegate”. But sending his spies on jobs he'd usually do himself had led to a high pile of documents and reports on his desk—a pile he mostly tackled after you and Iris had gone to bed.
“I'm done working for tonight,” he reassured you, standing up and rocking Iris in his arms. “It can wait.”
It couldn't, not really. Some of those papers had been sitting on his desk for days, and the Azriel he was until seven months ago would have recoiled at the mere thought of unfinished work. But that was before an eternal rainbow added even more colors to his life than you already had.
You only smiled at him and brushed a kiss against his cheek. “Let's go to bed, then,” you repeated before turning to walk out.
Azriel followed you, his baby’s eyes fluttering open at the movement and darting around as he walked down the pastel-blue hallway. She was always so curious, even when tired.
Not wanting to risk Iris deciding she’d rather stay awake and explore than sleep, Azriel began to hum her favorite lullaby. You glanced over your shoulder at the sound of his deep voice resonating off the walls, a soft smile on your lips as you watched the shadows gently sway to the melody.
He met your gaze when you stopped in front of Iris’s room, where you had painted the walls a light shade of pink while Azriel assembled the cream-colored furniture. He shook his head and gestured for you to keep walking, never interrupting his soft singing as Iris’s eyes fluttered closed once more. You raised an eyebrow but continued toward your bedroom at the end of the hallway.
You had recently started getting Iris used to sleeping in her own room instead of yours, with both doors left open for the rare times she still woke up at night. But tonight, Azriel wanted to hold both his girls in his arms.
Iris was fast asleep by the time Azriel gently placed her in the center of your large bed, careful not to wake her up. She rolled onto her tummy and let out a content sigh that had you both staring in awe.
You turned to him and wrapped your arms around his waist. “You didn't want her to sleep alone?” you murmured, your tone amused.
“I couldn't,” he answered with a smile, his fingers tangling in your silky hair. “She missed me, you said it yourself.”
You chuckled, leaning up to peck him on the lips.
Azriel didn't let you pull away.
It felt like a lifetime had passed since he last had some alone time with you. If it wasn't Iris needing attention and care, it was his duties as spymaster keeping him so busy that you had resorted to dragging your favorite armchair in his study, where you would curl up with a book during your daughter's nap time. Sitting in comfortable silence as you each focused on your own tasks was better than being apart.
He felt you relax, melting against his body as he deepened the kiss, and only then did he pull back to rest his forehead against yours.
“And I missed you,” he whispered. Your cheeks were warm under his touch and he took a moment to just breathe in your familiar, soothing scent.
“Then you should have let Iris sleep in her crib, my love,” you said with a glance at your daughter. A mischievous gleam entered your eyes when they settled on him again. “Because I really miss you too.”
Azriel's soft laugh echoed in the room, and he kissed the top of your head. “Tomorrow,” he promised. He could make those reports wait a bit longer.
You smirked, stealing one last kiss before stepping back to peel off your clothes. He took a moment to admire you—your smooth skin, the dip of your hips, the soft curve of your stomach that remained from childbirth—but he quickly undressed as well, and soon you were both in bed, with Iris nestled between you.
Azriel placed a broad hand on her back to draw her a bit closer, and his wing draped over you as you scooted over, enveloping the three of you in a warm, dark cocoon, the silence interrupted only by your daughter’s soft snoring.
He felt you move in the dark and guessed you had just kissed Iris when you murmured, “Goodnight, my rainbow. Even though you didn't let me sing you lullabies.”
Azriel didn't need to see your face to know you had a loving look in your eyes and a playful smile on your lips.
“Of course she prefers my lullabies,” he teased, brushing his thumb over Iris's back. “She's her daddy's girl.”
For a moment, he was tempted to fold back his wing and let the moonlight caress your face, just to catch your cute pout as you said, “I used to be your girl.”
“You still are, love. You're both my girls,” he assured you, letting his wing lower over you like a second blanket. “You're my family. There's nothing I love more than you and Iris.”
“I love you too,” you replied, your voice now stripped of all playfulness. Only pure, undiluted sincerity remained, warming his heart. “Both of you.”
Silence fell again, and it wasn't long before your breathing evened out as you drifted into sleep. But Azriel stayed awake a while longer, listening to the steady rhythm of his mate's soft sighs and his daughter's occasional snorts.
His own little family—everything he had ever wanted, more than he had ever dared to hope for.
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Taglist: @mrsjna @navyblue-eternity @paintedbyshadows @highladyandromeda @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @azrielsmate3 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @mirandasidefics @tinystarfishgalaxy @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @anarchiii @readinggeeklmao @andreperez11
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