#idgaf anyway. i did some thinking and i feel insane and tired but i think i know where to start sorting myself out at least

[mainfaggot]

sometimes u have to go sit on the swing at ur neighborhood playground and experience revelations while trying not to sob

[jujurose222]

Sorry in advance. But new year means I gotta be radically truthful about the things I’m ashamed of. Everything I say is how I honestly feel and I don’t like to be cruel these days, but this is my last step it appears. I’ve stopped being unnecessarily mean in MANY regards, but this regard is the one I must express. I want the world to know my true thoughts, so when I evolve, other jealous girls can learn from my thoughts and evolve too. I think my salty feelings are fair, and I think every girls are, but I’m tired of being bitter. It can’t last forever.

Beginning the new year I should tell everyone the truth. I’m scared. I feel extra lonely despite having a best friend I spent some time with and a mother who is sat downstairs. I just think about that one new year.

And I think about the coolest person I’ve ever known who “fucked a blonde bitch.” I think about my friend who knew and lied to me, I think about telling him what I heard and him saying, “oh you heard about the blonde he fucked.” And me saying, “is that Samantha?” And him saying, “Oh no.” (Name drop idgaf).

Also if that blonde bitch is who I think it is… LMFAO. Sorry. Pathetic ass hair. Anyway.

And I think about getting a text that said, “apparently they kept getting kicked out of rooms because he was basically on top of her.”

Oh I also think about that fucking playlist all the time. It makes me cry still.

I think about Samantha messaging me. I think about the insane fucking pea brain that bitch has. Apparently we have the same birthday? I dont know according to her, and from what I can tell, that bitch will say anything. March 28th, whatever even if we do. I’ve had enough shit make me sick because of you.

Have you ever wanted to kill someone? I don’t want this on like forensic files if someone brutally murders her one day, but I can’t lie. I’m a vivid dreamer. I would tell you how I’d do it, but I really don’t want to get in trouble. That’ll stay in my diary. You know that makes you feel like a “little girl.” I’m a little girl alright.

“My dad tried to kill me.” “We always end up back with each other.” “Oh yeah the drug thing.”

Too bad your dad didn’t kill you, dumb fucking bitch. IDEK YOU WHY YOU ARE TELLING ME THIS. PLEASEEEEEEEEEE KYS. PLEASEEEEE. It was really hard for me to be the bigger person, but I was. I wanted to get the info I needed, so I had to play along. Even though I wanted to do what I’ve always done when I was in drama, tell her to kill herself.

Don’t get me started on the other one.

I was scrolling on Harmonys phone one day and she did a side by side of her and Caitlyn Jenner. I didn’t even know she did it. She said, “oh yeah I didn’t want to show you, I know it triggers you. But she’s fucking ugly.”

Yeah well fugly don’t mean shit, it just means you’ll fuck it.

And oh “the prettiest vagina I’ve ever seen” just sits around waiting for the future timeline, the one where you finally feel good enough to be inside it, because you know it doesn’t want anyone else. Even if it didn’t fit. Nobody else would have even got me in that position. I’ve always been a fucking prude.

A bitter girl who liked to tell little girls to kill themselves. That was who I was. A salty little girl who hated other girls because they got attention and I didn’t.

I wish I could sit and tell you I’m not like that anymore.

But if I got the chance, I would pounce on Samantha and bash her face in. (I would go into more depth, but seriously I know she’s a real person, and I don’t want to become a suspect one day. And she will probably get killed with a mouth like hers, so like seriously don’t wanna be a suspect).

The root of my issue is that fact that boys never liked me, and when they did I always managed to ruin it. So I find it very fucking awesome how fate has done me? You know?

Okay, I’m done being a hater. But I think the world should know, Julia Rose hates a couple of girls very very much. I want to enter my new year leaving that behind. I’ve let go of many bitter feelings, but that is the thing I’m most bitter about. This stupid fucking competition I unwittingly became apart of. And it just sucks because it’s my mind that affirms the fact it’s a competition. Even though I know it’s not. Egos are just hard to navigate. So I want to admit my fears. That I’ll lose the competition. Even though I already technically lost.

That’s the thing, I didn’t win or lose, because it’s just life. Being a girl is hard though and I feel like boys just don’t get it at all. I feel like even some girls don’t get it.

I’m also sick of fake poets.

Oh also! “Yeah apparently he took them to this Asian masseuse.” WHAT? I was so fucking pissed that I had to slash your tires. YOU HAD A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND ACCORDING TO FACEBOOK SO WHY ARE YOU PAYING FOR A HANDJOB???????? YOUR FUGLY GIRLFRIEND CANT DO IT? Or is it just not as fun doing cocaine and getting a handjob from a girl you have to see the next day? It made me irrevocably angry. I took a knife from my sister’s kitchen and did what I felt needed to be done. I thought hell, maybe this’ll keep him from getting drugs for one night. Probably didn’t. I felt bad for your fugly girlfriend. And then she took you to Paris! Oh just such. a. fucking. dream. And your mom in your comment section, “oh I love you two!” Yeah well I fucking HATE you two.

Goodnight world. I’m sickened with jealousy that idiots can steal my lover but hey, that’s life!

[spacedoutman]

(Out of character note) Hey everyone! I’ve been roleplaying as Ace from kiss immortals for awhile now but I’m going to spin some lore and stuff for this account and roleplay to hell on it.

Life’s getting batshit insane, I mean getting kicked out of my house, insane, so I want a distraction haha and just to have fun! If you want to join in, feel free to! I love group projects and we can get together and write stuff up.

But these posts will be coming! Please also note I still have yet to watch the full game playthrough so I’m probably gonna turn the universe into some eldritch horror or whatever.

So here’s to the start of a hopefully long lived writing project!

(Will be based on Kiss immortals and I’ll be going off their in game personalities)

Ace’s blog entry pt.1

Tumblr? Tumble her, Tumbled? What could that mean? Before we left—and crashed the ship, they were like:

“Hey, Ace, you into tech?”

Of course, being me, I was like “You bet!” Or something along those lines (can’t remember anything at all) and I took the stupid square device and am greeted with a giant T.

Apparently, they told me it belonged to some Skinwalker before and I could keep it if I found and eradicated it. I have no idea what they’re talking about.

Of course being me, I messed around. You all post thoughts here? Crazy. I’ve always wanted a little something like that secretly. Saying I was excited was a crazy fucking understatement.

I’m learning the ropes of this thing but I think I’m addicted! I’m also lucky to have enough food. Gene keeps reprimanding me for drinking out of the milk jug at 3 in the morning—why? It’s only been three days!!

Well. That must be off putting. Let me tell you how my day went. Still trying to get in the hang of this. 🤦🏻

Ship’s been crashed for.. what, two days now? Everyone is tired. We kinda don’t know what to do or we know what to do and don’t know what to do to do what to know what to do…?

We just fuck around. Like tease each other, eat stuff, Gene is being his grouchy self.

Apparently you guys are a whole different… generation? So you use text acronyms. I want to use text acronyms so when I showed Peter, of course, he was like, “hey, let’s do it!”

lol- Loving our life?

Omg- Out my garage

Iykyk- I yodel (to) keep yall kalm

Idgaf- I don’t give ace food (for days) (Gene)

Jk- Jeremy Klein

/j- SLASH Jeremy

wtf- where the fucking-

Tf- The food

Hru- i am chronically tired

Rofl- Pisses me off

Lmao- What a schmuck (Paul did this one)

Anyway I’m pissed. Peter and I just started yelling these at Gene and Paul was like: “oh no stop it” and I was like no and then we had a food fight and now we all might go hungry I’m distraught

So how was your day?

P.S Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to flirt excessively with Paul it’s kinda going wrong

[nardonotes]

24 sep '24

8:52pm

hello my mankeys... (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) i am so tired and my body is sore..... i didn't make an entry yesterday but i literally can't even rmbr what happened.. "( – ⌓ – ) like did i write one yesterday or no? me forgot huhuhu.. what did i even do yesterday bruh,, i can't rmbr. i got a bad case of ifuckingforgotinitis *facepalm* OH I RMBR! LOL i was 1. late for class and 2. had a 3hr long break in between and took a nap at home AND KNOCKED OUT!!!! I WOKE UP EXACTLY ON TIME FOR CLASS. it was like my body said BITCH WAKE UP U GOT CLASS......!! and then i RAN TO CLASS (which was literally pointless because i had done everything for that class on the weekend so i just sat there helping everyone. they need to pay me)

BUT ANYWAYS, enough of yesterday- let's talk about today! lord did i have fucking day!! (⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝) first of all, LATE FOR CLASS AGAIN. and i remember waking up like 20 minutes before class and emailing my prof like "i will be late" literally lied out of my fucking ass... hehe. and then i went back to sleep for a little bit then BOOM. it's been two hours and class is almost over -_-/ u know what? idgaf. i really don't gaf, it's not a national holiday. ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ) it's fine cause im not super behind in that class anyways. but yeah,, and then right after class- i took a train to the nearest city (45 mins train ride) to meet my friend, yall know the friend i talked about a few entries ago, TO TALK ABOUT TEA!!!! but then they invited like three of their friends.... awko taco moment. but it's ok cause they're cool and we still got to talk about the situation that occurred. i would've still wanted to just talk to them though. also i was supposed to stay till 6pm but they were talking about unrelated things for so long,, and i was so tired my head hurt- so i left 2 hrs early!!

( ´･･)ﾉ(._.`)

anyways, the second i got home i literally took a shower and did some work because FUCK!!!!!!! I AM SO FUCKING DRAINED AND MY BODY ALWAYS HURTS NOW AND I BEEN HAVING STOMACH ISSUES LIKE I WANNA SHIT ALL THE TIME BUT I HAVE NO APPETITE WHO VOODOOED ME??? the voodoo in question being my body not used to going out 5-6 days a week in a row. ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡

ok last thing before i end this, i redownloaded instagram for chismosa purposes (i have insane chismosa virus) and had to get in the gc.. but while i was in the dms i noticed this girl i had been talking to for literally like i think months ( i aired her when i started college sorry!) (ó﹏ò｡) had dmd me asking how i been 3 days ago. and i feel bad cause it's like damn... u want me this bad or u just bored? like should i just give her my number and start texting her again? BUT THEN IT WOULD BE A SITUATIONSHIP AND LIKE I LOWKEY DONT WANT THAT.... but she is pretty. also far away still (everyone is far from me) but she's also giving yellow fever oo- anyways,, the attention is nice. idk what to do. ૮ – ﻌ–ა

ANYWAYS I YAPPED TOO MUCH AGAIN! idgaf. goodnight to pretty girls only and me <33

song of the day; Nothing Else Matters by Little Mix !! ♪♫~

[canaryatlaw]

okay, I’m tired AF and should be asleep already but today was pretty good. I woke up to like 4 alarms going off at 9 am because the built in alarm on my phone has been not going off randomly so I downloaded a bunch of alarm apps and set them all, and it took me a solid like 3 minutes to figure out how to turn all of them off lol. I convinced myself to get out of bed, had some breakfast, and then started work, which I did from 9:30 to 5:30 to get my 8 hours in and officially make my hour count for the week 40.1 hours, which at least means I’ll get a nice paycheck for the week. I started writing the brief, going through the procedural history and most of the statement of facts. it’s one of those annoying cases where there’s no real summary of the medical history, so I just end up scrolling through endless medical records and trying to pull out what was important. But I managed alright. When it was 5:30 I stopped and started getting ready for soccer. I was fairly hesitant going into this game for several reasons. the first would be that this is the first round of “playoffs” (everyone is guaranteed one game) and I guess in an effort to make sure the best teams get to the final, instead of having the top two ranked teams play each other, they had the top ranked team play the last ranked team, which, you guessed it, is my team. Now, that in itself wouldn’t be that bad, we’ve lost plenty of games before and idgaf about that really. Where it starts getting bad is a lot of people from our team were unable to make the game, so we were down to 7 people when the game is supposed to be 8 v 8 so not only would we be down a player on the field, but we wouldn’t have any subs and everyone would have to play the whole game. Since the league is co-ed they have a rule where you have to have at least 3 girls on the field at one time, and we were initially down to only 2 girls coming, but one of the guys was bringing his girlfriend who plays, so we’d at least have 3. But yeah, all of this was making me super hesitant because I have not played a full game in like....15 years maybe?? certainly not since my lungs started acting up when I was like 12 or so. The game is only 40 minutes total thankfully, but that’s still a lot of time to be on the field straight with only a 2 minute halftime break. But I didn’t want to bail on the last week because that would be a shitty thing to do, so I got all my stuff and walked down to the bus stop, took it over to the stop nearest the fields and walked the rest of the way from there. I was initially the first person from my team there, but the other girl from the team showed up soon after, and the guys started showing up pretty soon. The guy who was bringing his girlfriend with him showed up in a Northwestern Law shirt and was like “yeah I took the bar yesterday” and I knew he went to NW but didn’t know he was in law school, so I talked to him a little about it but not too much because recovering from the bar is a lot and getting peppered with questions about it is not helpful. Our real streak of luck here happened when there were these two guys playing on the field and they asked if they could join our game. At that point our last player hadn’t showed yet so we were looking at only 6 people on the field, so we said yes and managed to get them into fairly similar shirts to us. They appeared to be of hispanic descent with somewhat of accents, which I only mention because by and large it seems like people not from the US are soooooooo much better at playing soccer than we are, and boy oh boy was that true here. Our last guy did show up so we ended up having one sub, but since it was a guy all the girls had to play the full game anyway, but it was still good to have. So we started playing and like, these guys are really damn good. Like I’m just watching their footwork and their control of the ball and it was insane, I was so jealous lol. I didn’t have a great first half, kind of fumbled with the ball a bit, which I think was mostly due to nerves as I was concerned about my breathing being okay. I also apparently lost the ability to touch the ball and remain standing afterwards, as it seemed like I was on the ground after every time I kicked it, and even sometimes when I didn’t. At half time though we were only down two goals which we were all pretty pleased with because we thought it was going to be much worse. I had a significantly better second half performance wise, which I was very happy about, but my breathing ended up getting much more labored from doing more running, and there was one period where my lungs started making concerning noises, and about 10 seconds where I started feeling dizzy and was like oh fuck I’m going to pass out, but thankfully it passed and I was able to get my breathing under control. I had some pretty good interceptions which I was pleased with, managed to at least disrupt their path with the ball. There was one time where the guy playing center defense (I was doing left defense) kicked the ball laterally towards me without looking to see if I was actually there and I wasn’t because I had been covering the girl on the other team and we were both just like !!! fuck lol. but yeah, we played really well and I was happy about it. The other team, on the other hand, were playing like real assholes. They were definitely pissed they weren’t winning by more, and the number of fouls they got called on them for playing dirty, like tripping, grabbing people’s shirts, and just generally being really aggressive/violent to the point where two of their players ended up getting yellow carded, and for some perspective out of the seven weeks of games we’ve had this is the first time I’ve seen someone get carded. The one guy almost got thrown out of the game for cursing at the ref (like wtf??? who does that??) even though there was like 30 seconds left in the game at that point. So especially given how they were playing I was pleased with how we did. The final score ended up being 3-0, which is really quite good when you consider some games we’ve had this season were like, 6-1 with us losing lol. So we felt good about it. Once I got off the field I looked down and saw what looks like it’s going to be a massive bruise with a really big scratch mark going across it. I hadn’t noticed it at all so I have no idea when it even happened lol. could’ve been worse though, at least there was no blood. We all talked to each other about signing up for other seasons and keeping a team together, because the thing with pretty much all the other teams is that they’ve been playing together for years now, and the only way we’re gonna get to that point is if we continue to play together, so I definitely intend on doing that. The one guy had signed up for a Monday night fall league that’s 11 v 11, which sounds nice because playing 8 v 8 on a tiny ass field gets pretty annoying when you only ever have a split second with the ball before someone’s on top of you. So I may end up doing that. The two guys who joined us (who we were SO thankful to) wanted to keep playing with us too (they said they just came to Chicago and were looking for opportunities to play) so I traded phone numbers with one of them and we’ll keep in contact. So yeah, overall a lot better than I expected. We all said our goodbyes (for now anyway) and I walked down to the bus stop, and took that home. The bus was being rerouted a bit due to construction on the main road so I had to get off a stop early before they went several blocks south before proceeding further west. Walked home from there, roommate was home and doing the dishes (which I was super happy about because they were starting to smell really bad and like, dishes are my least favorite thing to do and most of it was hers so I was really hoping she’d do them) since she’s going to be out of town this weekend too. I’m only gonna be gone for like 24 hours, so I’ll just leave kitty out some extra food and I’m sure she’ll be fine, she normally doesn’t even eat all the food in her bowl every day so she’ll be good. I chilled out for a bit and then got in the shower because I was still soaked through with sweat, then pretty much started getting ready for bed from there because I was pretty damn tired, and now I’m here. Probably not going to make that 9 am wake up again tomorrow, but tomorrow starts the new pay period so if I don’t hit 8 hours in one day it’ll be okay, especially given I can work on the plane rides this weekend, so I’m not concerned. And yeah, that’s about it, sleep is definitely calling my name so I am going to go to bed now. Goodnight my friends. Happy Friday.