#idfk how to tag him lol

[pespillo]

you enter wonderland

[humming-fly]

Happy to report I have finally started listening to Malevolent and to no one's surprise I am already obsessed (I'm almost done with s2 atm please don't send me spoilers yet sdlkfj)

I'll skip over my usual formality of having one normal art post before diving into shitposts let's not waste anyone's time here

[lavendorii]

good luck, babe

[mochamadeleines]

Sweethearts and Sweet Dreams <3

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.” (6.4k words)

tags!! - 18+ modern au! Husband! Joel Miller, Wife! Reader, you guys are happy and in love!, mutual obsession if u squint, lots of exposition im so freaking sorry, pervert Joel if u squint, praise kink joel if you squint, dumbification if you squint, written for those with daddy issues lowkeeyyyyy, written with game joel in mind but could be hbo joel no problem!, lowk i combined the two in my mind, mentions of shy old man joel, housewife! reader (by choice), unspecified age gap but reader is like. thirty? and joels Like...55??, talk about joel taking medication for his anxiety, p in v sex, dirty talk, public sex, outdoor sex, joel has a kink for dresses because i said so? service top joel if you squint, pet names, a pinch of jealousy and possessiveness for fun, playful banter, mentions of maria and tommy and their baby with a made up name Lol, mentions of ellie and sarah (rip), mentions of readers past abusive relationships, talk about joel struggling with substance abuse/addiction and being hospitalized.....Im sure u can theorize why </3, lots of lore ill get into in another fic MAYBE *smirks*, flip flop in perspective, sometimes showing what joel is thinking or what reader is thinking blah blah

authors notes!! - hi there!!! im mocha and this is my first joel fic ever + my first fic posted to tumblr!! im really nervous cuz i havent written anything in months and ive never written joel before so please let me know if you like it!! id love to write more of this au for u guys if theres a demand for it...Thank u for reading!! also barely proof read im ngl. ive been staring at this fic all day im sick of itttt. p.s i dont usually write smut i also kinda do idfk Is this bad or am i tweaking

You step out of the house, morning sun soaking into the roots of your hair and the driveway beneath your feet. Theres a package youve been waiting for. 

You cant contain your grin as you wiggle it out of the hot prison that is your mailbox.

“What the hell are you doin’ out there barefoot?” Joel chastises you from the front door, leaning his elbow on the frame. Joel, your lovely husband of two years. Been together for five. And because of how hard he works, you have the privilege of being a stay at home wife. Some people think that sort of life is stifling, but youve never felt so free. No more jobs you hate, no more financial struggles. Just you, Joel, and your cat, Cement. He likes to pretend it isnt a totally hilarious name for a pet.

You were his first relationship in almost a decade, so it was a lot of work helping him unpack his anxieties about dating, and a lot of work for you to feel safe and unafraid. Honestly? Youve been mistreated by enough men to land you in the psychward.

But Joel never yells at you, he never breaks things when hes angry or threatens to hurt you. He might raise his voice every now and again, but its never because of something you did. Sometimes the stress of life is just too much. 

He works hard, he loves his daughter- daughters- and he would do anything to keep you happy. Whatever you say goes, he says. Even now, you hardly argue. Of course you have disagreements, or off days thatd lead to one of you being especially moody, but the both of you do your best to communicate.

Behind that rough exterior, is someone who just wants to be needed. 

You first met Joel at a youth center you volunteered at, he taught guitar, you taught arts and crafts. Joel says it was your smile and sense of humor that charmed him. It was his singing and southern accent for you.

Your favorite thing about Joel is how soft he gets around you. He says its because you make it easy to be soft. 

Joel was a shy lover at first. He would get nervous just kissing you, or holding your hand. While most people become intimate very early on in their relationship, you and Joel didnt do anything sexual for the first five months of you dated. Sure, you almost did, plenty of times, but he would get so overwhelmed and cut things short. You broke two of your vibrators during this era of your relationship. Embarassing.

You remember your first time very vividly. Joel had worked back to back doubles trying to meet a deadline, and on the final day, after having barely spoken to you for almost a week, you had shown up to his house, unannounced. You were wringing water out of your jacket when he swung the door open. 

“How-” Joel blinks a few times, stepping forward to examine the rainfall. “How long you been out here?”

“Not that long,” You lie and pick up the container you brought off the porch chair. Part of you had a hard time mustering up the courage to even knock on the door. Droplets of water cascade down your chin. “Hi, sorry. I know youre tired.”

He shakes his head, voice soft and warm. “S’fine. Now c’mon, youre gonna get sick.”

Youre seated at the little dining table next to the kitchen now, trying to let the sound of the rainfall ease your nerves.

Joel was quick to grab you a towel, and does the honors of drying your face and hair with it. “Why didnt you jus’ call me? Woulda gotten out of the shower faster if i knew you were gettin’ soaked out there like this.”

“I dunno, sorry.”

“An’ whatd i tell you about apologizin’ all the time?”

“Sor- Uh. Right. Okay.” You tighten your jaw. No more.

Joel moves behind you, now squeezing water out the ends of your hair. “Whas’ that?”

“Oh!-” You peel back the lid, showing it to him. “Old fashion cake donuts are your favorite right? I remember you saying you liked eating them with your coffee in the mornings so…I made these. Youve been working a lot lately and I wanted to do something nice for you.”

Joel gingerly grasps the container from your hands, looking into it. Theyre a warm golden brown, outside evenly fried, and the sweet scent of them hits his nose right away.

“I was just gonna leave them on the doorstep and call you to tell you they were there, but I wanted to see you.”

His adam's apple bobs as he swallows the dryness in his throat. Youre too good for him. 

“Thank you very much.” He presses a kiss to your damp hair. “Now, lets get you into some dry clothes.”

Joel gives you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to keep you modest while your clothes wash and dry. 

You wait patiently on his bed for the hot chocolate he promised you before you showered. Theres nothing to watch on the tv, so you just turn it off and reach for the lamp on his nightstand instead. 

He comes in quietly, and sets the mug down beside the lamp. You finally come into focus, clear as day even under the low lighting.

“You uh.. You look nice.”

You blink. “I look nice?”

“In my shirt.”

That gets a smile out of you. 

Joel tips his head towards the mug. “S’hot so, give it a few minutes. Dont want you burnin’ your mouth.”

You nod. “Okay.”

Hes sat beside you now and the two of you sit in silence for a while. Its not awkward, just the kind of silence where both of you want to say something but just.. Cant.

Joel unravels first. “Missed you, y’know. Just been tired.”

“I know.” Your voice wobbles, and Joels jaw tightens like hearing you sound so sad stings him. “I missed you, too.” 

He slides his hand over yours, giving it a squeeze. Its okay. 

“Hey Joel...Can I stay the night?” 

“Sure. Id really like that.”

While you drink your hot chocolate, you and Joel catch up. You both talk about work, and about your new found interest in baking. Joel teases you about your lack of cooking skills, you do the same. Youre both useless. 

When its time to climb into bed, neither of you can actually fall asleep. Joel rolls onto his side, away from you and the window. You follow, curling up like a little cat against his back. The sensation is nice for the both of you.

You speak up after a little while.

“Joel?”

“Mm.”

“Thank you for letting me stay.”

He scoffs, voice thick with exhaustion. “Like I'd force you to leave after you brought me such a nice present.”

You let out a little giggle, “So if i didnt, youd kick me out?”

“Id think ‘bout it.”

You gasp, gently shoving at his back. “Thats mean…!”

“S’really not.”

“Oh yeah? And what if I poisoned them?.”

“Then itd jus' be a regular day of your cookin’ then.” Joel reminds you, lighthearted. Too many times where you left the shells in your eggs or burnt toast or left the bacon on the pan for too long.

“You cant get mad at me for my dark past when you made a perfectly good sirloin taste like horse leather.”

“Ugh. Dont remind me. That was like putting a one-hundred dollar bill into a paper shredder. How do either of us stay alive again?”

“Uh. Digiorno?”

“Digiorno.”

After a few moments, Joels rolling over again, and hes guiding your head to settle against his chest. Your arms wrap around him, and his arms around you. 

“Joel,” You whisper. He hums. “Im cold.”

“S’cause youre not wearin’ any pants.”

“And whos fault is that?”

“Still yours.”

“I was left out in the rain like a sad, sopping wet cat. One that was left in a box all alone with no family…” You pretend to sniffle. “Dont you feel bad for me?”

Joel sighs, not saying anything more except making sure the part of the comforter behind your back is tucked into your side so the cold air doesnt get in. When hes done, you do a little shimmy up his body, and throw your leg over his hip. Oh no.

Hes alert now. Very alert. Be normal. Joel hesitates, licking the dryness off his lips. “Uh. Feel better?”

“Mhm.” You push your face into his throat, cat-like, before settling down again. Hes like a radiator.

Actually scratch that, he cant be normal. 

“Darlin’.” He rasps, patting your back to get your attention.

“Mm?”

“Your leg. Move it.”

A few beats pass. “Why?”

“Because…” Wow,  he didnt think hed get this far. You shift forward and Joel lets out a quiet exhale through his nose, one that couldve been masked by the rain if you werent so close.

“Are you-”

“No! No. Its- Its not what you think-” He cant see your face in the darkness but he knows you feel the semi-hard struggling through the confines of his pants. Lame.

“Joel,” You say, soft. Your hands slide up his arm to cradle his jaw. Lightning flashes into the room, giving you a glimpse of Joels tight expression. He whispers your name back, just as soft.

“This is normal.” 

Its normal, it is! Except for the fact that you guys havent had sex yet. The stress of being intimate is too much, kills his boner in a blink. The longer he waits the worse the anxiety gets.

“I-I know.”

You place a hand on his chest, feeling it pound away like crazy through all the soft muscle.  

“Youve been taking your medication, right?”

Has he?

The silence of him thinking is proof enough. “Joel-”

He sighs, rubbing his eyes through the darkness .“I know, I know. Shoot, Im sorry. I just forget sometimes.”

“Its okay.” The pad of your thumb strokes the tops of his cheek, and you press a tender kiss to his mouth to soothe him.  “...Want me to remind you?”

The softness of your lips has him a bit dazed. “Huh?”

“I said, do you want me to remind you? I can- You know, call you before you leave work. Make sure you take them.”

“You know I wake up at five-o-clock in the mornin’ , right?”

“I know.” 

In a whisper, “Okay.”

Joels rough palms trail down your back and stop at the curve of your butt, finger tips delicately tracing the skin above your shorts. You shiver.

Barely above a whisper. “We dont have to go all the way.”

He says your name again, laced with worry. He doesnt want you to feel pressured. 

You pull your leg off his hip and push yourself up, settling your hands on either side of Joels head.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yes-”

“-And you cant get all in your head about it. You stay here, with me. You stay present.”

“Okay, okay.” He nods, a bit defeated. “I will stay present.”

“When you...When you say you dont wanna have sex, what is it that youre thinking exactly? I know you said you just get really nervous but I feel like youre not being totally honest.”

Joel stays quiet, idly rubbing your sides. Maybe you are a cat. Just getting to feel any part of you is soothing. “I jus’ want you to feel good. ‘Fraid ill do somethin’ you dont like.”

“You cant assume how I feel, Joel. Being intimate.. It takes time to learn what the other person likes.”

He sighs. “I know.” Youre always right.

Adding on, “Like I said, we dont have to go all the way,” You lean further back, situating yourself on his hips. He lets out a shaky breath when he feels the pressure of your ass through his sweats.

“But, I want to start somewhere. I want to feel you.” 

“Fuck- Um-” Hes shaking now, letting you grind your hips down onto him. Joel cant seem to control the way his hips instinctively push up to meet yours. Youre both becoming of a mess of little gasps and hot breaths and tiny whimpers already.

You hunch forward, guiding his hand under your your shirt- His shirt- letting him feel up the supple skin of your stomach, then the area where your ribs are, then your-

“And I want you to feel me,”

Surprisingly, you did actually go all the way that night.

Your sex life was a bit of a rocky start, but after Joel got over most of his anxiety, you learned quickly just how goddamn insatiable he was. Five years in and he still regularly makes you sore. 

There are a couple things you learned about him and his sexual interests. He loves to take you in his truck, in your kitchen, in your bathroom, on your couch. Other, riskier places. Anywhere that isnt your bed apparently, not that he isnt fucking you there either.

Joel is handsy, so handsy infact it embarasses you to no end, especially when youre infront of others. Thats usually how it starts, too. First he kisses you, then gropes your hips and your ass, and the next thing you know, youre cumming on his fingers. Then hed bend you over, or get you on your back, or make you ride him. Is it really riding if hes just slamming up into you until your brain turns into mush?

He likes that too. Making you not think.

Youd be lying if you said its only ever him. Sleepy morning handjobs before work, whining to him over the phone and touching yourself to his voice, arching your back into him while you're washing dishes, sucking him off after hours in his office.

And while most men prefer lingerie or little costumes, Joel likes dresses. Dresses that are discreet so he can take you in the backyard when he comes home early and sees you gardening. Or when youre both at a friends house and hes had a little too much to drink and finds himself alone with you. Dresses that make it easy to play his favorite game with you. I touch you, and you make sure we dont get caught by being too loud. Joel really is the worst sometimes.

Now, you only ever wear pants when its cold, or to bed or sometimes when youre lounging, like today. Youre in some shorts and a tank top. Otherwise, its dresses all year round, usually retro styles or ones meant for spring. Joels not picky though, he loves any dress on you.

Even if you wear an extremely modest, white lacey sleep dress, looking like some kind of vintage ghost, the man would still keep you up all night. And he has. He said you looked like a princess. You guess you kind of did.

The entire thing is like an unspoken arrangement between you both. He doesnt tell you to wear them, you just do.

And he works hard to spoil you, so why not buy as many cute dresses as possible? 

You got a cute dress today too, on the same day Joel has off. You think its going to be a new favorite of his.

The big polymailer stays hidden behind your back. Be casual. “Uh- Nothing!”

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.”

“Lemme see then. Show me your hands-”

“Hey, Mrs. Miller!”

Both you and Joel turn your heads to the voice, and only one of you has the energy to fake a a smile. Your neighbor is stopping in his driveway, having come back from a jog it looks.

“Hi, Lee.” 

Joel really, really, really doesnt like Lee. You dont like him either, but youre not one to cause problems. Lee on the other hand, is. Hes a bit younger than you, and a lot younger than Joel. Hes one of those tech dudes with a massive ego, thinks that youll be swayed by his money and his “charm” and youth as if youre some sad housewife in need of saving. Gross. 

And another thing, Lee doesnt even actually live here! Hes here ever so often to visit his dad between, you dont know, tech expos? You forget. Joel believes he started showing up more often to see you. 

Youre walking towards the porch again. Joels looking especially unhappy to see him today, knuckles pulled taut into a fist. His lips stay pressed into a thin line, careful not to let anything slip out. He usually lets you do most of the talking, as much as it pains him. 

Joels really not a fan of the way Lees eyes take a trip up your bare legs. Little shit.

“Out with no shoes again, Mrs. Miller?”

“You know me, Im uh- Im weird.”

“The weird ones do it best.” He smiles, all teeth. It gives you the creeps. His attention is on Joel now. Its like watching a puppy try to one up a wolf. “Right, Joel?”

“Uh huh.” Whatever that means.

“Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something, Mrs. Miller.” Lee crosses into your driveway and you glance briefly at Joel, as if to make sure he isnt going to start growling at the other to stay away. Youre clutching the package to your chest now. 

“Have you ever been to a support group for uh- you know, the spouses of addicts?  I have a friend from work and shes really struggling.” 

Lees tone is sugary sweet, but the fake kind you put in diet soda except that stuff is way better. Joel sighs from the door. You stand there, dumbfounded on the porch steps because what the fuck is he going on about. 

You clear your throat, keeping your voice firm. “No. Ive never needed to.”  

Joels voice cuts in like a knife. “Been clean for almost twenty years now.”

“Yeah but, you know,” He shrugs, squinting a bit under the morning sun. “Relapses happen.”

Joel and Lee are at a stand still, and the moment Joel lets the arm leaning on the frame drop to his side, you know youre in for a lot of trouble. You move quickly towards the door. “We have to get ready for a- uh- a thing? but Im sorry about your friend.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Im doing my best to support her.” And before he turns away, he just has to be slimy to you. “If you need someone to talk to, Im here for you.”

“No, that really wont be necess-”

Joels slinging a strong arm around you to yank you back inside before shutting the door. 

“Motherfucker,” He hisses to himself, stomping through the walkway and into the kitchen.

“How-” You rub your eyes, letting them adjust to the light inside of the house. You put the package down onto the bar counter that opens up the kitchen and follow Joel to the fridge. “How does he know?? I thought-”

“Been living in this house for decades now,” His expression is tight, brows knitted together while he chugs a bottle of water. “People talk. ‘Specially if I'm being rolled into an ambulance on more than one occasion.” Joel frowns. “Fuck- I shoulda punched him in the fuckin’ face- Do you see how hard he tries so hard to flirt with you infront’a me?”

“I know, love. I was there.” You take the bottle from his hand and set it to the side, then wrap your arms around him. “Try not to let it get to you okay?”

Joel sighs into your hair, giving your body a squeeze. “I know, I know, but jus’ hearin’ him tryin’ta use my baggage to make a pass at you…S’fuckin’ evil.”

“I agree, but I dont want his blood on the driveway.”

“So get it on his driveway instead, got it.”

You giggle and tip your head up to kiss him. The tension eases from Joels shoulders, and he cups your cheeks, letting his worries melt away into your mouth. When the pads of his fingers start to slide under your tank top, youre leaning back. Youll be here for a while if this goes any further.

Joel mindlessly chases your lips, looking a bit pouty now that its over.

“Im gonna start getting ready for the barbecue, okay?”

“This early?”

“I like being punctual.” 

“My brother wont give a damn if were late.” He noses your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there. Your knees are beginning to feel weak. The bastard is trying to distract you.

“But I do. The farmers market opened today, and I promised Maria I'd get her fresh strawberries before we got there, remember?”

“Alright, alright.” He grumbles into your shoulder.

Joel lets you go, watching you round the bar counter to get your package and disappear upstairs.

-

Ever since you came down to a freshly showered Joel, and got into the car with the gift bags you prepared for Maria and Tommy, Hes been staring at you. One wrong move and the drools gonna start pouring out of his mouth.

Your hair is in its relatively natural state, freshly washed and shiny from the oil you put in it. You put on some light makeup, and went a bit heavy handed on the blush to look sunkissed, and topped it off with a flavored lip gloss Joel especially enjoys. 

Now, the dress. Its a pink floral mid-length dress, with a low cut sweetheart neckline and a corset style backing to cinch your waist and push out your chest. The material is thick and pretty, and there are two other layers under the skirt to keep its shape. You have on a pair of little pink pumps with little bows to match. 

The drive to the farmers market is fairly peaceful, the windows are half down and theres music playing at low volume on the radio. You and Joel have different tastes in music, but one genre you can always agree on is alternative rock. 

The weathers beautiful, sun high in the sky, and its not too hot or humid. The day really is perfect. Youre gonna soak up some sun when youre at the barbecue. Hopefully, they made lemonade again too.

Joel has been mostly quiet throughout your shopping. While it would worry some, youve been with him long enough to know that he just has a lot on his mind. What hes thinking about? Maybe youll learn when you make it back home at the end of the day.

You gasp, strolling through the grass to a stand with a mountain of apples. Granny smith, Macintosh, Pink Ladys, Honeycrisp, the works. He grunts, trying to keep the things that are already in your basket steady. You came for strawberries and are going to leave with much more than that.

Joel nudges you softly. “Remember, this is quality stuff, meaning itll go bad faster. Dont get too much.”

“Okay, got it.” You beam, and then begin inspecting the Pink Lady apples first, trying to find the ones with the best color.  He keeps the basket within reach so you can drop your picks in.

"These were Sarahs favorites."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it was funny 'cause we started arguin' over these or Red Delicious. I think Red Delicious is better."

"Thats so cute! Hmm. Should we get one for her? A Pink Lady?"

"Uh," He thinks on it for a moment, unsure, but the smile on your face helps him make a decision. "Sure, why not."

You drop two perfect Pink Ladys into the basket, moving onto the next pile.

“Hey, Joel.” You grin, holding out a wrinkled granny smith apple. “This one looks like you”

“Ha ha.” He deadpans, and grabs it from you to put back. In turn, hes reaching for the runt of the pile. A pathetically small one sitting near the bottom. “Now this one looks like you.”

“Does not!”

“Does too.” 

The next stand has golden kiwis, and youre practically dragging Joel forward to try them. You ask for one, and the man at the stand slices it into halves, giving you a plastic spoon to go with. 

You let Joel smell it first. “S’good.”

“Lets see if it tastes good.”

You sink your spoon into it, humming when you see how soft and easy it is to scoop out. In your mouth it goes!

Its tastes sweet, a bit mango-y and fucking delicious. You bounce in place, spoon feeding Joel next. “Oh yeah,” He smiles, smacking his lips a bit to really let the taste settle on his tongue. “Were takin’ some of these.”

You take one, then two, then three and four then five and as you reach for the sixth one, Joels stopping you with a gentle hand. 

“Darlin’.” 

“Right.” 

For the next few stands its just you and Joel trying various kinds of fruit. Starfruit, blueberries, some mangos, and then youre going back to the truck.

“I think my favorites were the mangos and golden kiwis. I hope Maria and Tommy have enough space in their fridge for all of this.”

“They moved into a bigger house, I reckon their fridge s’probably bigger, too.”

“What time is it?” 

You let go of Joels arm so he can switch the basket from one hand to the other. 

“‘Bout…” Hes squinting at his watch. “12:34 in the afternoon.”

“Oh! Guess we got the shopping done sooner than I expected. Hmm. Should we stop somewhere in the mean time?-" You snap your finger when you remember something. "They opened up this cafe that has cats in it! We can drink coffee and play with them for bit! The next fourty-five minutes will go by super fast."

“Youre gonna make Cement jealous.”

You bat your hand dismissively. “Hes not gonna caaare.” 

“Oh yes he will. And remind me again why we named our cat Cement?

“Uh, we were both drunk and had gotten him the day before without a name picked out?”

“A whole year later and we still kept it. Worst pet owners ever.” Joel chuckles, opening the passenger door for you like he always does. 

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

The giant basket of fruit goes into the back seat next to the gift bags before Joel slots himself into the drivers seat. 

You fumble with the radio a bit, trying to see what else is on but ultimately landing back on your preferred station. Theyve been playing a lot of Linkin Park recently. Hell yeah. Joel buckles himself in at last, and pulls out of the parking lot. 

“Marias gonna teach me how to make baked chicken,” You hum, gazing outside the window.

“You sure youre not jus’ unteachable?”

“Ha ha,” You lightly shove his shoulder, making him smile. “I thought you loved the meat sauce pasta I learned how to make.”

He settles into his seat more comfortably at the stop light, elbow rested on the window. “Got me with that one. Think I like ground turkey over beef, though.”

“Yeah? Me too. The beef tastes better but the turkey is lighter. Stops me from feeling all sick.”

“Agreed.”

Youre looking out the windshield now. Where did all the buildings go? Youre out of the city. 

“Uh, Joel?”

“Mm?”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere to kill time.”

“Yeah but where?”

“Youll see.” 

Your brows pinch together. “I see a whole lot of nothing except for trees."

“Almost there.”

Joel makes a hasty left turn onto some campgrounds. Your stomach starts to twist into excited knots. Is he gonna show you a baby deer or something? Bunnies? He used to be a park ranger for this area, and would tell you stories about all sorts of baby animals hed run into.

The car comes to a stop, and he turns the engine off. Silence.

“So…Were out in the woods to kill time?”

“Mhm.” Joel unbuckles his seat belt and twists into the back to grab the spare jacket he usually keeps there, then gets out of the truck and comes around the back to open the door for you. 

He holds your hand to help you get down from the passenger side, and as soon as both of your shoes hit the ground Joel is on you. 

You dont know where your hands should go, youve kissed Joel a thousand times and yet you still get so flustered when he catches you by surprise. You keep your hands on his shoulders for now, letting him press wet kisses to your neck and shoulder.

“This is new right? The dress?” He gives your ass an appreciative squeeze through the fabric. “Thought you looked so pretty when you came down stairs in it.” 

Your heads spinning. Something about your dress? 

“Woulda been okay if you let me have you earlier.” He pulls away, examining your flushed face cradled by his hand. Every part of you just fits so well in his palms. “Then I thought, why not have you now? We got time to spare.”

“Joel- We- Someone could see us-” You sputter, and Joels already shaking his head with a knowing smirk. He pulls you around to the bed of the truck, popping it open, only pausing to spread open the jacket he grabbed, just having just thrown it in there when he came around to get you.

“No ones gonna come lookin’ for us.” He turns you around, pushing you down onto your front. “As long as youre quiet.” 

Fuck. You really hate this game. At least, you like to tell yourself that.

Blood rushes to your ears while Joels rough palms lift up the skirt of your dress, exposing your ass and thighs to the cool air. He whistles from behind you. 

“Red lace panties?” His fingers dont shy away from tracing along the fabric covering your cunt. “This new too?”

You crane your neck over your shoulder to look at his face. “Uh.. Surprise?”

Joels smiling now, fingers dipping under the lace. “Thas' awfully sweet of you.”

His touch slips and slides around your growing wetness, then trails down to your clit. Your voice wobbles a bit and fuck- fuck hes going too fast. “Joel- Ah-” You whimper and try to push yourself up to look at him but his hand is steady on your spine, keeping you down. 

Smug, “Go on, sweetheart. Keep sayin’ my name. Jus’ like that.”

A whine escapes you when he pulls away, “Nooo.” You push your ass back, as if to entice him. You succeed, because hes skipped his usual routine of fucking you with his hands and is now unbuckling his belt.

Joel rolls you onto your back, and peels your underwear all the way off, bunching it up and shoving it into his back pocket. Your face burns just watching him.

“Think i'll hold onto these for a lil’ while.”

His hands push the back of your knees towards your chest, exposing your heat. Youll never get used to the way he just seems so interested just watching your cunt squeeze around nothing. 

“Thats-” You swallow, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. "Joel.”

“Relax." He coos, "Seen it a thousand times already, and ill be seein' it a thousand more. Get used to it, honey.”

Your attention flickers down to where his dick is about to meet your entrance. Joels nudging you down onto your back again and pulling the top of your dress down to expose your chest. Its when youre distracted that he actually moves to push himself in.

Both of you groan together, and Joel could never get bored of fucking you, not when your cunt just pulses around him everytime hes inside you.

Joel wastes no time fucking you once he eases all the way inside. Youre trying your best to keep quiet. Shit is no easy task. Its like Joel is trying to get you guys arrested.

He props himself up with a hand near your head, and lets the other keep one of your legs pinned open. The moans start to claw out of your throat. “Joel- Joel-” 

“Shh. Thas’ enough.” He growls through his teeth, fucking you harder. “Youre gonna- Gh- Get us caught-”

Something rustles between the trees, making you both freeze. You clasp your hands over your mouth, watching Joel straighten up to look around.

After a few seconds of squinting, Joel can see a few foxes moving about through the trees. Thank fuck. His shoulders visibly relax.

Hushed, “E-Everything okay?”

“Yeah, jus’ some animals.” 

And like that, hes back to it. His dick is going to make your eyes permanently stay rolled into your head. 

Joel is always just so handsome when hes pounding into you. His forehead gets shiny with sweat, and his jaw is tight from clenching his teeth, keeping himself quiet so he can focus on your moans. His face is noticeably redder against his usual farmers tan too. Really, hes just so attractive.

A flurry of yes and harder and fuck spills out of your mouth and into your palms. Not too loud, you try to remind yourself.

“Joel- S’too much-”

“Nah, thas’ not it.” He huffs, humorous. “You can take it. Y'always do. In fact, you love gettin’ your cunt bullied by me, aint that right?” As if to get his point across, he thrust in all the way to the hilt, making you keen. You forgot how to breathe, lungs drawing tight in your chest.

"Fuck," You manage to squeeze out.

Your palms push weakly at his shoulders, trying to ground yourself somehow. His head drops to the junction of your neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply.

“You good?” He checks in, breath hot on your skin. As if your crying isnt enough.

“So g-good, Joel- Fuck- Youre so good.” 

With a little nod, Joels pushing himself up, switching to slow and deep strokes, really digging himself into you, and trying to find that spot he likes to call home.

He massages your chest, then squeezes your sides and your hips and finally, his thumb finds your clit. Immediately, you jolt. 

“Oh fuck-” 

“Quiet.” And he says it to keep the charade going, even though his favorite thing is hearing your sobs.

His thumb rubbing incessantly against your that sweet little nub of yours. You choke, and Joels chuckling, watching the way you squirm, body not knowing whether it should lean into his touch because its too good or away because its too much.

It starts with this firey feeling under the pad of his thumb, then deep inside your stuffed cunt. Youre going to cum. 

Your hands fly to your mouth again, and you get all wide eyed from the sensation. Its cute. Your muscles pull taut, legs locking around Joels hips. Youre wailing into your palm when it happens.

“Good girl,” His voice soothes you through it. “Very good.”

He pets away the fly aways sticking to your sweaty face when its over. Your eyes drop shut while you catch your breath. 

Joels moving again now. He rolls his hips a few times, and thumb is building the foundation of another orgasm in you. Youre shaking badly.

Your words slur too, “Cant- Too soon- Joel- Joel-”

“Another one.” Joel says firmly, but breathless. 

Youre gasping, not sure where to focus your eyes. The trees around you look like theyre spinning. Your attention is back on Joel, whos looking rather satisfied watching you squirm and cry. If thats how wants to play, then fine.

Your hands slide up Joels biceps, and rests on the nap of his neck to bring him down. “Juh-Joel,” You pant, cradling his face with both hands. “Youre so good- The best-”

Oh, Joel likes that one, you can tell by the way he looks away briefly. Shyness. Excitement runs up your spine. Joel loves being told hes doing well. 

“You are- Nghh-” You swallow the drool in your mouth, trying to get the words out clearly. “The best husband I could ever ask for.”

Joel wheezes, head dropping into the curve of your shoulder. “Please.”

“S’true,” You nod rapidly, fingers curling into his hair. “Youre so good to me and-and youre mine and- Joel-  Im yours.”

“Jesus-” He groans, soaking up the feeling of you pressing kisses to his face and up his jaw. 

“Hhah-  No one else can have me, okay? No one- Not even-”

The name doesnt even come out of your mouth before Joels coming to a stop to slip his arms all the way around your middle. With the new leverage he has on your body, hes drilling his way into you. You fucking squeal, rules now long forgotten. Youre a useless ragdoll in his arms and he wouldnt have it any other way.

Your lips are shiny with spit and left over lip gloss, and he can still taste the mintiness in his tongue. Every now and again your eyes drop shut, but his dick just punches into your guts a little harder. Look at me. 

Your brain is mush, just the way he likes it, and youre perfectly pliant in his arms, babbling over how good you feel. Hes kisses along the valley of your breasts now, stopping to suck the flesh of your nipples.

Youre just so pretty. Even when you have bedhead, or youre snotty from a cold, or youre all dirty from working in the garden  youre still so pretty. Including now, all sweaty with you lipgloss all smudged and your mascara starting to run. Youre perfect. 

Joel grunts loud, jaw clenched tight as he gets lost in the feeling of your insides. His perfect little wife.

When he cums, hes doubling over with a loud grunt, getting a few last thrusts in before his spent floods your cunt.

Youre blinking away your tears, now watching the clouds inch along the sky. It really is a beautiful day. You pet Joels sweaty hair, and kiss the side of his temple. Your core throbs faintly. Jesus, he did a number on you.

“Love,” You say softly, patting his back.

“Mm?”

“Get up.” Another pat. “Youre squishing me.” 

Joel backs off to buckle himself up, but you stay seated to catch your breath and adjust your dress. At least it didnt get ripped during all the… Commotion. Not like last time.

“I need my underwear back.”

“Nope,”

“Joel.”

He kisses the center of your forehead and helps you down from the bed and into the passenger seat instead.  “Told you i'm keepin’ ‘em.”

You sputter, “I cant go to barbecue commando!”

“Sure you can.” He pops open the glove compartment and gets out some tissues, hand snaking under your dress again to clean you. You sigh softly at the sensation.

“Youre the worst.”

“I am indeed the worst.” Joel pulls the seatbelt over your chest and clicks it in. “You can tell me all about it on the way to Tommys.” 

[solarnomoon]

ice ice baby - park sunghoon

the first time you went ice skating you almost fell. thankfully a taller guy was there to catch you. surprise surprise, of course it had to be sunghoon, king of the school, ice prince, whatever.

pairing >>> sunghoon x male reader

tags >>> college au, fluff, strangers to friends to more than friends (lovers?), ice skating, falling, idfk, sunghoon being a little forward

author's note >>> LOL hello i apologize for dying. i realize how much i miss this account and ive just been itching to come back so here i am

you knew coming to the ice rink was a mistake to begin with. i mean, come on, your ass was a fucking ice skating virgin: you'd never been before, so why would you even bother starting now?

alas, your best friend had stayed up all night watching yuzuru hanyu videos and all of a sudden, he felt the urge to begin ice skating, compelling you that it's "a calling" and if you guys didn't "drive to partake in the artistic media form that is ice skating" then you'd "lose the individuality that the human spirit guides us with."

...whatever that means.

at least he paid for you! a win's a win sometimes.

"c'mon y/n, you have to get off the railing at some point!" sunoo calls to you, skating in reverse to watch you. the edge had become your safety net, allowing you to actually move somewhat on the ice. sunoo on the other hand had somehow become a pro within the 15 minutes since you guys arrived, being able to skate forwards, backwards, eyes closed, anything possible. he even started gaining an understanding of how to spin, and was attempting to learn how to execute an axel.

you were still just trying to walk normally, not knowing how to know the difference between skating and walking. "sunoo, unfortunately i cannot let go of this fucking railing or i will die."

the boy just laughs at you, eyes rolling back. "you're exaggerating, just let go for one second!" you watch as he leaves you, gliding along the ice as if it was simply made for him.

building up the confidence, you finally stray away from the railing, letting go of your one protection spell from you upright and you on the floor. as you float along the ice, you feel that sense of freedom that sunoo was pestering you about, and you speed up, the skates on your feet becoming an outlet for your vitality.

but unfortunately, you were not yuzuru hanyu, nor were you kim sunoo. you misplace one foot, causing an imbalance in your body. you knew this was it. in front of all of these people, atleast 4 500 for sure, you were going to literally eat shit and die.

as you begin to fall, you brace for impact and close your eyes, but the collapse never happens, and instead, you feel someone's body holding yours, catching the impending descent to the ice.

"you okay?" the guy asks, and only after he said it was when you opened your eyes and looked up at him. though it takes you a moment, a flash of recognition eventually appeared in your brain. park sunghoon. king of the ice, king of the school. the renowned ice prince, the ice skater that competed in the olympics. "oh, y/n. are you okay?"

"y-yeah, sorry," you cover your face with your hands, muttering under your breath, "oh my god i almost died."

apparently it was in fact, not under your breath, because this gets a snicker out of the man, responding to you, "you did not almost die. maybe fall, but death is too much." he grabs you by the arm and skates you both toward the edge again, allowing you to grasp onto your lifeline once more.

"thank you, sunghoon. i'm sorry again for... i don't know. maybe it was a good thing, now you know that i'm shit at ice skating, i don't know how you do this." you observe him with your full attention now, noticing how he's dressed in a basic outfit with a beanie and headphones as if he knew that this would be a simple activity for him. not only this, but he has sunglasses on, presumably to hide his demeanor: he's kind of a celebrity around here.

"it's alright y/n, i told you already. plus, you're not that bad. you're just... learning." he seems like the last part was an afterthought, and you assume that he was going to say something more negative before changing his wording. "are you here alone?"

"nah, i'm here with sunoo. what about you?"

he flashes a quick smile, lifting his sunglasses to make eye contact with you. when he does, you look at his face closely, and realize he really is as cute as people say. you never really cared to notice him, as to you, he was just some guy that happened to have an expertise in ice skating. seeing him up close, you understand why people could develop crushes: his face was perfectly symmetrical with the only thing varied was the mole on his nose, but he has an extremely aesthetic face. his body was also perfect, broad shoulders with a smaller waist.

huh.

"just here alone. now i'm with you. so not alone." when he smiles, you could see how cute he really is, his fangs on both sides of his teeth accentuate his cuteness, offering a tinge of fierceness if he was focused. you both stare at each other for seconds too long, neither of you wanting to break the gaze. eventually, he looks away, saying to you, "wanna see something cool?" obviously you nod, and you watch as he skates away, accelerating before jumping right into a double axel, landing gracefully before coming right back to you.

you clap quickly, not wanting to let go of the edge for too long, "wow, impressive! i could do that too probably."

"oh yeah, cause you're like the best skater right? i think i've watched your videos before online." he motions a rectangle in front of him like a screen, "y/n l/n, triple axel, into a hydroblade, ending with two flying spins."

you scoff, flicking your wrist in front of him. "you know it bro, real recognizes real."

"for real." he looks at you with a straight face before bursting into laughter. "you're pretty funny you know, i'm surprised we haven't talked much before."

you scratch your head, "well, it's pretty hard when you're just the coolest, bestest, sexiest, beast of a skater." you joke with him.

"you think that of me?" he asks, one fang turning visible as he smirks.

"i was actually talking about me, thank you very much."

he hits his head in faux stupidity, smile not faltering from his face however. "oh, silly me. i should've known, like you said."

"what did i say?"

"real recognizes real." he removes his gaze from you to check his watch quickly before looking back at you. "you know, it's getting pretty late for a guy like you."

you whip your phone our from your back pocket. "sunghoon, it's literally 5:32 in the p.m. i can literally see the sun still."

he laughs awkwardly, "well, still late for a pretty boy like you."

"p-pretty?" you stare at him, wondering whether or not he meant to tell you that or not. "what are you talking about dude?"

"i said what i said. i meant that it's late, the ring closes at 6 today because of some hockey players wanting to run scrims before their tournament," sunghoon explains, leaning on the railing next to you. "i'm probably gonna leave soon anyway, so maybe you and sunoo can join me in getting dinner? if you want of course, i don't know if you have plans already."

"honestly, me and sunoo are supposed to get dinner with just each other, so maybe-" you begin to tell him, but then you notice sunoo talking to his crush on the other side of the ring, and a second later a text from said boy shows up.

[5:34 PM]

ALERT. CODE BLUE.

OK LOWKEY I REALIZE U DONT KNO WHAT THAT MEANS WEVE NEVER DONE CODES ANYWAY ICU TALKING TO SUNGHOON SO GO HANG OUT WITH HIM I WILL HANG OUT WITH MY MANSSSSSS XOXOXOOXO

"-you know what? let's get dinner. sunoo is actually busy all of a sudden." you roll your eyes when you make eye contact with sunoo, him giving you two thumbs up and a cheeky smile as his crush types something down on his phone.

"perfect. i wanted it to just be us. maybe i'll kidnap you and put you in my basement." the confusion on your face must've been evident, because he immediately follows up with "i was kidding. let's just get dinner." with that, he leaves you once again, skating around the rink with a few more tricks before coming back to you, signaling for you to follow him.

you do, getting out of the rink walking along the edge before sitting down next to him. you reach over to untie your laces, before sunghoon ushers you back, simultaneously getting on his knees in front of you, holding your right skate in front of him. "what are you doing?"

"untying your skate, why?"

"i can do it myself, you know?" you look straight into his eyes, tilting your head slightly.

"pretty boys shouldn't have to do anything," he suggests before giving you a little wink, causing you to turn away, not able to meet his eyes after his stupid flirtatious comment.

"w-well, what about you then!"

he removes your skate before moving on to the next one. "oh, so you think i'm a pretty boy huh? good to know." he unlaces your other skate before sitting down next to you, untying his own with haste. it clearly comes from experience, because it's no less than 15 seconds before he's up again, grabbing his sneakers, along with your own to your surprise. "here. so you don't have to get up."

"how do you know what my sneakers look like?"

"i saw you come in."

you lightly hit his shoulder. "so you were watching me the whole time?"

"cute boys deserve attention, wouldn't you say so?"

he goes back down to your feet and signals to put on your sneakers again. "i mean yeah but... you? finding me cute? hard to believe i guess."

"can't be that hard," you allow him to finish tying both shoes before helping him off the ground. you didn't even notice but he also had switched shoes with dexterity, leading you to wonder how much experience he has with these kind of things. "i've been watching you for a while honestly." he waves with his hands in front of you. "not like that, but more of like you're kinda like my school crush in a way."

you can't believe your ears. park sunghoon, king of the school, ice fucking prince, had a hallway school crush on you? y/n l/n. you didn't even feel like you stood out that much, just wanted to get your degree and leave. "school crush? there's just no way." you begin to walk away, not being able to face him without embarrassment flushing your face.

however, he clearly had other plans. "y/n." he grabs your arm, forcing you to look up at him. his eyes bore into yours, keeping you in a trance as you look at his face. "you're one of the cutest guys i've ever seen in my entire life. and i've seen a lot of people in my life already. please, just trust me when i say this."

and that was all the validation you needed. "oh. okay sunghoon. i trust you."

"good boy. now let's go get dinner, alright?"

and with that, he led you to his car to drive to dinner.

maybe the ice prince wasn't so cold after all.

[synthshenanigans]

I'm curious as to peoples idea for what he'd do for the next power hour so

[These all being popular ideas or ppl he's mentioned]

This was all just a ploy to get you to read my info dump theory on the concept of a Chonny Jash Power Hour loser HAHAHA

Im joking tho. Not about my CJPH theory, that is very much real but I'm not forcing you to read it lol

However if you're curious, my inane rambles are further down :}

[Long Rant Post Below]

Okay so I'm gonna start with the basic idea I got it from; that being Nerd. Nerd already foreshadowed the THDPH & the WWPH [Even down to the last song for each of them] Not only that, but he references the stuff hes done in the past as well with a break/pause inbetween.

[This is what I mean]

The first three being all stuff he already did. BDG with Pocket, Tally Hall with Vol.1 & then Cage by Tim Minchin being the start the power hours.

The next two being the power hours he would do after this song [Memento Mori & Charlie's Inferno-Will Wood & That Handsome Devil]. But those are the only songs he would reference in Nerd, leaving no more clues as to what the last one would be. The only thing left in it is the video game references & Stairway to Heaven in the ending. [Which oddly enough also fit the pattern in a way. StH being about dying and the afterlife like Memento Mori & Chonny's Inferno and the video game references being all covers he made on his old channel]

While the VG refs could be a hint at a Videogame or Toby Fox Power Hour, I think at most, if its a clue at all, hinting at the next thing he does is recovering old songs.

----

Next, a couple of his songs reference his past stuff. Fine, I'm Fine has a good amount of lines that vaguely refer back to songs from the before [heres a post that goes more into it that's pretty cool!!]. And more importantly Dear Machine references Pocket, Dream (Outro from Calamity) & wings of wax. Pocket being later used in Nerd & the mention of Icarus coming back in Art. Not only that, but the voice in the very end Thermodynamic Lawyer is the exact same [if not very close to] voice filter/effect he uses in Dear Machine. Even down to the British accent he does in it. [Tho it is fairly normal for a music artist to reference their older songs in their music so it could be nothing]

Speaking of Dear Machine tho, quick thing to add about it is that it shows he not against covering his own songs. While yea technically its just a different version of Ode of the Cog, DM,HtC in a way counts as a cover of OotC. Same goes for bargaining/compromise & The Ballad of Dr. Jekyll.

----

Another idea with a CJPH is that in the CJFS discord theres a "Question of the Day" Channel. Where, as the name says, a Mod or Helper will ask a CJ related question & everyone can give their idea/imput on it. For Day 100, as a special fun lil thing, they asked Chonny if he wanted to give a question for that day. His question being:

And yes he does say that he doesnt plan on doing anything like that in future [if he even were to do it]. I fully believe he wasn't lying there & honestly I never saw him redoing any song ever until I had the idea of a CJPH [aside from stuff like Spring and a Storm & Storm and a Spring obviously]. But this is the best idea I could ever see him doing that. Also that question was from early August so a fair amount of time has passed. Whether thats enough time to equal "at least in the near future at all" I have no clue, but it is a thought.

----

One of my last points [that I remember atm lol] is on how he would end the power hours. Cos like, while yea he does whatever he wants & doesn't rlly follow what anyone says or asks [which I 100% agree with & is completely valid btw], I'd imagine he'd still want to end the PHs with a bang. Which is why I originally didnt think the recent one would be Will Wood.

He's stated a couple of time that hes one of his favorite artist & he definitely knows that a huge chunk of his fan base listen to WW as well. So why not end with that? Why not end with one of the most requested artist people wanted him to cover? Why wouldn't he end with a power hour of the artist that was his #1 on his Spotify Wrapped? What else could he do after that? Well maybe he'd go with his #2 artist? WHICH IS JUST HIMSELF BBYYYY

Plus, the name Power Hour already comes from this:

So it's very likely he's had himself play multiple times in a row & had a "Chonny Jash Power Hour".

Of course theories are just theories so there's always the chance I'm wrong & just insane. And again he does whatever he wants whenever he wants so who knows what it'll be. I just think id be an interesting idea for him to do.

As for how a Chonny Jash Power Hour would look? Maybe each song being a cover of a song from a past album or single? I'd imagine one from the before. & Covered in Discontent [maybe Gothic Whore?]. Like remake Pocket since its been referenced so much, tho that's still just a BDG cover so who knows. the before. would be interesting just to see how his perspective has changed since he originally wrote those songs. Gothic Whore he already has 2 songs that have a story version & a him version so I can see him doing another.

I HIGHLY doubt he'd do anything related to Vol.1 as its his completely separate thing & he doesn't rlly wanna touch any song that's TH/HMS related until whenever he feels like starting Vol.2 [which is valid lol]. If anything I could maybe see like TWWAY, Special or maybe Greener? Or go a different route with the og I'm Gonna Win or like a more outta the box one with like Just a Friend [only cos be did a 20 second "cover" of it in Mucka Blucka]. Again, I do not see him touching anything Vol.1 related but still something to entertain ig? [4th TME cover; The Chonny Electric when/j]

Tho maybe he'd just remake songs that he he fully made [like the before. or Gothic Whore], since those are more of actual Chonny Jash songs rather than the others just being covers. Would be very cool to maybe see a remake of some of his Majora's Mask song tho [no this isn't me coping over HEAL not being on spotify shush]. Or maybe he'd do songs from his old stuff like Don't Take it Personally? [also not me coping over wanting that song on Spotify too]

Idk these are just my thoughts on the idea of a CJPH [or even a Can of Soup Power Hour/j]. Either way I am gonna say idc what he'd do, BDG or Streetlight Manifesto are my other guesses, but anything he makes is always rll good & fun so I'll be interested to see whatever it is.

But ya know considering I typed all this out in the span of an hour & a half I kinda hope im not wrong PFFT

[elizmanderson]

15 mutuals*, 15 questions

*if I can come up with that many mutuals' handles when my brain is doing like. dial-up noises rn. can I even answer the questions? let's find out!

thanks to @vcaudley for the tag!

there are (as you have probably noticed) more than 15 questions, so feel free to pick and choose (or just not play, because a tag is not an obligation)

I did 15 plus a bonus question about whales

Are you named after anyone?

my maternal great-grandmother on my grandma's side, who lived to be a hundred

2. When was the last time you cried?

oops, at the end of my yoga class this morning, for no discernible reason :,) just suddenly got the Big Sad and had to go stand in the bathroom for a couple minutes until I calmed down

3. What’s your eye color?

hazel

4. Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings, we are too soft for scary things in this household

5. Any special talents?

6. Where were you born?

7. What are your hobbies?

8. Have you any pets?

halloween the cat, who enjoys a basket of warm laundry fresh from the dryer and wants to know why you're looking at him all funny when he is simply making use of what is currently the coziest place in the house

9. What sports do you play/have played?

lol under duress, basketball and track. under my own steam, archery.

10. How tall are you?

shorter than the internet thinks I am, apparently

11. Favourite subject in school?

art

12. Dream job?

gonna echo @vcaudley's "the honest dream is to have enough money to not need to work"

like I don't have a dream job really? obviously I want to have a career as a writer, but...I would rather not depend on it for my income, given how fickle the industry is even IF you manage to sell multiple books, which at this point in my career is no guarantee

so for a day job I'm doing admin work. after a decade of working in grocery stores, I'm happy just to have a full-time job that pays sort of halfway decently, actually has benefits, and doesn't leave me exhausted or keep me constantly working outside my scheduled hours. the millennial dream lolsob

13. Do you prefer owls, capybaras, or flamingos?

(d) all of the above

14. What is your favourite soup?

a tomato-basil soup that in the family we just call winter soup. it's like an extra-hearty tomato-basil soup with carrots and onions and a roux, and you eat it with croutons and sour cream and parmesan

15. What is your favourite…rock (idfk)?

16. Choose a familiar: 1) very dumb, very loving disobedient dog. He loves you but will never listen to you ever 2) a raven that speaks but it only ever shrieks the name of various fast food restaurants 3) a toad that screams like a teenage boy instead of croaks

I will take the dog and simply always tell him to do bad things so he never does bad things because he disobeys my every word. if he loves me I will get cuddles and also I will not have to deal with shrieking.

17. Which planet do you feel like would be kind of an asshole if you met them?

uranus, obviously

actually that was mean

sorry, uranus

18. if you were a worm would you love me? this worm question courtesy of ✨ @/legiomiam✨

no bc I don't know you but I'm sure you're a lovely person

19. Least favourite type of clothing?

20. You are now in a horror movie—so sorry. Chance of survival?

probably zero since I'm very soft and also have to investigate every noise bc it's better to get up and find out what's making it than lie in bed being scared of an unknown noise 😅

21. Would you rather: the ability to instantly grow a perfect mustache, or ability to talk to vegetables?

22. What do you think of whales?

I think they're neat

tagging for optional gameplay: @victoriacbooks, @mslanna, @erinfulmerwrites, @avery-ames-personal, @amarajlynn, @wordsofrablack, @chatterboxprotocol, @danaiwrites, @doom-inique-writes, @gryffindorkswin, @luv3horse, @lucymason217, I think this is less than 15 but oops I'm also tagging you, if you're reading this and waiting for someone to tag you so you can play

[vacantgodling]

15 10 Very Normal Questions

thank you @kaiusvnoir 😂 i’m kinda obsessed and will give weird answers no one asked for. open tag :) have fun with it lol

1. Do you prefer owls, capybaras, or flamingos?

THIS IS ACTUALLY PAINFULLY DIFFICULT but i’ll probably go capybaras i want what they have absolute ANGELS they are

2. What is your favorite soup?

i like deadass hate soup ngl (bc texture or lack thereof + liquids being salty is kind of :/ to me + my mom literally made soup almost every day growing up i am so sick of SOUP) however, cabbage soup that my mom makes is probably my favorite. it’s so comforting and she always makes it for me when i’m sick so idk nostalgia and feel good vibes.

3. What is your favorite…rock (idfk)?

funny story about rocks: my favorite type of rock (as in, how they’re formed) is igneous rocks. fire rocks >>> (i too wanted to be a geologist growing up lmao). in third grade a boy i was friends with went on vacation and brought me back an igneous rock—like literally got it checked out and everything to make sure it was—bc he knew i liked them, and asked me out lmao. as i am super awkward and he was just a good friend to me i turned him down (plus we were seven? tf lol) but it was probably one of the cutest ways i’ve ever been confessed to, only second to my partner and so so thoughtful.

jeffery if you see this, i wish i still had that rock but it got lost in a move. rip the dream but it was so sweet lol.

when it comes to crystals it’s a different story i’m a huge crystal hoarder but i don’t have the $$ to get as many as i’d like. sodalite is my favorite bc of the meanings associated with it; it’s kind of like my “personal rock” and i have several :)

4. Choose a familiar:

very dumb, very loving disobedient dog. He loves you but will never listen to you ever

a raven that speaks but it only ever shrieks the name of various fast food restaurants

a toad that screams like a teenage boy instead of croaks

probably the toad. i think that’d be funny as hell

5. Which planet do you feel like would be kind of an asshole if you met them?

NONE???? IM LOVE… SPACE….. (okay perhaps jupiter only by association with zeus/jupiter) HOWEVER…. They are Sweeties… my Beloveds….

6. if you were a worm would you love me? (@/ legiomiam)

i mean i voted worm in the bug race so yeth

7. Least favorite type of clothing?

most clothes are a sensory nightmare but anything that is scratchy or woolen or whatever it’s AWFUL

8. You are now in a horror movie-so sorry. Chance of survival?

genuinely depends on the type of horror move it is. if it’s any apocalypse sorry i’m killing myself i’m not dealing with that shit like not even remotely. serial killer eugh… it depends if it’s a supernatural one or a natural one. if natural i think odds are pretty good i like to think that since my natural adrenaline response is flight i would be going and going and going (like out the country probs). supernatural? sorry killing myself not doing it. anything torture porn-y i’m also offing myself— yknow i’m just gonna say odds are low bc i hate being uncomfortable so if given the opportunity i will off myself before i deal with nonsense.

9. Would you rather: the ability to instantly grow a perfect mustache, or ability to talk to vegetables?

mustache if it means i can grow facial hair generally speaking

10. What do you think of whales?

i think they’re gorgeous but i hate the ocean so i will appreciate from afar as nature intended.

[m00nsickness]

doing thiz bcz. why not lolz

1) comfort characterz uhh? idk? rammie maybe? like. jschlattz ram perzona???

2) lighter definitely

3) no i do not, my windowz don't even open in the firzt place... that or i do not know how

4) umm? i dunno that many cryptidz sorry

5) mine r blue, but the bodyz r brown!

6) bcz i have no impulze control or senze of right and wrong

7) i have short hair... :sighz:

8) none! i don't drink water uzually :P

9) cold coffee definitely hot coffee iz NASTY :[

10) thatz clazzified O-O

11) i dunno

12) an interezting day, thatz for sure lolz

13) umm?? earlier but it waz juzt a cookie?? (doez that count)

14) i cant remember what that smell iz so

15) to uhh... a cat? im not with her atm but her name iz big kitty and she iz in a conztant cycle between balding and growing her hair back

16) no lol the body iz 14

17) i dunno... sight bad either way

18) uzually none unlezz u count shampoo (and WAY too much conditioner), but i think i have some sort of gel or somethin i uze sometimez??

19) yez! but i am painting them black... black nail polish beloved <33

20) soda bcz the body iz. american and itz what we're uzed to (i am british in source and headzpace tho :33)

21) we have like thiz,, baby blanket rattle thing? thatz alzo a stuffed animal? we luv him sm... they r genderfluid ig bcz weve been uzing random azz pronounz for her since we were little

22) a bad perzon apparently /cj

23) i dont like being cold :[

24) now how did we get up there. alzo probably juzt talking n joking around :D

25) perfume i HATE lotion

26) i do not know what thiz meanz /lh

27) umm? well i went to sleep at 3am... and woke up like 12pm?? fuck im bad at math umm 7?

28) normally yez but we can't find ourz rn... and we pull it down to eat/drink and forget to put it back up pretty often... we try tho!

29) hottezt pozzible setting no joke

30) no dishez! im pretty good at putting dishez in the sink (but NOT at doing them lol)

31) i am not sure! i like a lot of typez of muzic, anything i like uzually doez the trick

32) not atm, we juzt have two purple onez that r pretty much the same! but at home, the black onez, bcz the catz have left thoze onez alone the mozt

33) yezterday i went and looked at a bunch of civil war landmarkz? doez that count? i uhh. didnt really underztand mozt of it tho. i dunno all thoze big war wordz

34) there are a couple! probably im gonna kill santa clauz by danny gonazlez? or almozt any american idiot song... grew up on that album :]

35) idk which timezone i am but az i am writing thiz anzwer it iz 10:56pm

36) i dont think at all! moonsickness is our sys name, so we'd like to hopefully keep the url

37) umm! my co-hozt cam, we r from the same timeline/mems/source and have known each other pretty much since i waz born/lh

38) umm? japanese cherry blozzom... probably

39) if u mean chapztick, then yeah! we have tonz, but our favouritez r the coke product flavoured onez we bought... <33

40) yez! like two lollipopz and a chocolate cookie :P

41) idfk, juzt with lotz of chocolate

42) webzite, not an app, but quotev! we bazically live there lol... and itz where we met our two bezt friendz!

43) i dont like spicy foodz unlezz they r VERY VERY mild

44) oh damn uhh! our momz bf... he cauzed uz and our family a lot of trauma

45) not very well but kinda??

46) rudolph the red nozed reindeer (the claymation one), or the grinch (the cartoon one), or the nightmare before chriztmaz [azzuming u mean winter holidayz]

47) telling our friendz that we luv them too <33 /p

48) when we were 13 i think? or 12? either champagne or wine, idk which came firzt... either way they were both NAZTY (azk to tag idk if underage drinking botherz any of yall)

49) i dunno actually, havent tried

50) i don't see why not! :3

YAYY THAT ONLY TOOK FOREVER! alzo if i seemed unzure about my anzwerz itz bcz i waz lol

(i accidentally left thiz in my draftz, az far az the timezone thing goez itz 12:18am rn)

here’s weirder asks

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

lighter or matches?

do you leave the window open at night?

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

what color are your eyes?

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

would you slaughter the rich?

favorite extracurricular activity?

what kind of day is it?

when was the last time you ate?

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

can you drive?

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

what hair products do you use?

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

do you say soda or pop?

something you’ve kept since childhood?

what type of person are you?

how do you feel about chilly weather?

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

perfume/body spray or lotion?

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

do you wear a mask?

how do you like your shower water?

is there dishes in your room?

what type of music keeps you grounded?

do you have a favorite towel?

the last adventure you’ve been on?

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

what’s your timezone?

how many times have you changed your url?

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

a soap bar that smells good?

do you use lip balm?

did you have any snacks today?

how do you take your coffee?

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

can you remember what happened yesterday?

favorite holiday film?

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

can you skip rocks?

can i tag you in random stuff?

[collective-scribblings]

Intro post: Collective Scribblings

So, we're not shameless enough to be horny on main but we are shameless enough to make a blog for it!

We're a plural collective who wanted a space to talk about kinky shit. So we made one. We'll be using titles as sign-offs here instead of names for the sake of anonymity. We're bodily 21 and collectively that age or above. Body is transmasc, and don't bother with our blog if you don't like men. Most of us are nonhuman in some way, so keep in mind that you might see some alterhuman/nonhuman stuff here as well. At the very least, you'll see how it can sometime interact with our kinks. Mod intros might be added as needed.

If the idea of insys sex makes you uncomfortable you won't like it here btw. We might mention that here. Just in case this blog ends up with any actual followers and asks: specify who it's to please, and if it's not to someone in particular specify that. Also, we have no idea how to tag our posts, so feel free to point out any untagged stuff or give us tags to look into.

The Witch: Our local dom. She/her pronouns for the time being, but she is NOT a woman. Fem and masc terms but boundaries may change. Likes the idea of luring people with her sweet demeanor, and then just going feral in bed. idk if that's a fantasy or a kink but whatever.

Titles: Mistress, Master, Witch, Alpha. (Note: "Alpha" in the ABO sense. Not in the toxic masculinity bullshit sense.) Open to suggestions.

The Imposter: The one typing this post. He/him + probably neos because I think it's funny that people hate them so much. I don't know that much about my own preferences yet but I'm probably a bratty as fuck sub-leaning switch. Like sure I'd have fun wrecking someone but I also would be absolutely thrilled to have that turned on me lol. Also yes I'm making an amogus joke with my title. I think I am fucking hilarious for the record.

Titles: idfk lol I'll figure it out later. Open to suggestions.

The Wolf: Dom-leaning switch. He/him. I barely fucking remember what he's into lol. Generally the most masc dude here, probably into petplay both as a dom and sub. Local furry and we all bully (/J) him for it. I think into hypno as a sub. Primal play?? I'm not sure what counts.

Titles: Alpha, (insert affectionate descriptor here) wolf, open to suggestions.

The God: Sub-leaning switch. He/him/comfortable with "she" if ur being silly. Generally just the most sexual of all of us I think. Likes playing into the god thing (reference to his source, "The God" is very literal) as a dom. idfk remember what he likes uniquely from us as a sub and I've been writing this post for too fucking long so he'll finish this.

Titles: Open to suggestions.

The Dragon: Tbh he's not likely to post here but I hope he will it'd be good for him. Takes a human form even in headspace. He/him preference, but any pronouns are okay unless that changes. Vaguely ABO flavored in kinks. I'm putting him on here explicitly because 1. I think he'd do well to loosen up some and 2. I want to see horny as fuck posts written in his formal-ass style. I think it'd be funny. And now if he posts he absolutely has to change this for a better intro >:3

The Cryptid: He/him but likely to play around with pronouns. Wrote my own intro later, I'm surprised no one clocked that I'd be interested. Useless sub with no plans to change, nonhuman and horny about it. Vaguely into petplay and things of similar flavor, I don't remember my own kinks rip. No titles.

General collective likes/things you'll see: Collars, praise, degradation (only gentle and condescending, best paired with praise,) hypno, vague BD/SM themes, various ownership dynamics, intox concepts. Depending on who, both forcefem and forcemasc seem cool we just haven't explored that much. Will update as needed since this isn't an extensive list by any means. Just shoot us an ask if you see smth we should tag.

General collective dislikes (if you're into these you can interact, we're just not into them and won't be posting or interacting with posts about it): CNC, ageplay, inc3st play, watersports/scat, really harsh degredation, raceplay, feet, detrans, mommy/daddy. Will update as needed.

DNI: We don't put a DNI beyond the obvious "minors DNI" and typical "terfs/MAPS/p@do/racist/just don't be a dick" because we don't think it's useful. We'll curate our experience. We do, however, have boundaries. If you have anything against endo systems, or any systems for that matter, fuck all the way off <3 okay. This is a horny blog we're not here to listen to people debate syscourse shit. We're here to talk kink. Also, antiship people can interact but know that due to having fictives in our collective we have very strong opinions about this and we've been told they count as proship to some people. So just. Be aware. And be fucking normal about fictives by the way. We won't be telling you our source.

[queenofthepirates83]

Joseph with hunter reader who is like BEN Drowned :D

Fire

Joseph with BD reader

Tag: headcannons

TW:tell me if I missed anything !!

Words: 422

A/N: I know Jack shit abt Joseph besides what I put down, sorry if I got anything wrong !!!!! It’s not much but I hope you like it, anon!

Sometimes Joseph likes to set up cameras to help him and you at certain points of time to get the survivors and ect.

You tend to travel through his cameras if they’re nearby, also by your own little tech power(which allows you to travel through broken tvs and other things that are around the map; they are set up automatically when ur the hunter(if that makes sense))

Sometimes he just randomly pops up next to you. It scares the shit outta you. You got used to it over time lol

Since he likes to paint, he tends to paint and draw you a lot. I bet you 500 bucks he has a little sketchbook dedicated to you, like ur interests, hobbies, likes, ect. He just likes to paint you

If you ever walk by one of his cameras he just switches over to your side and just walks next to you and disappears once you’re at the place you were headed.

He just likes to walk with you, whether it’s in silence or you two are talking about something. He simply enjoys ur presence and will walk with you whenever he can.

He is interested in the things you like so he watches you play video games in silence.

Sometimes when you randomly pop up next to him due to traveling through said broken tvs, he will jump a little but it’s not too surprising or sudden.

When you two duo hunt together he enjoys it a lot and whenever he does duo hunt on the occasion, it’s most likely with you rather than the other hunters. You two work great together, with the help of his cameras and the fact you two pop up at random places at certain times helps you two win.

He likes to give you flowers, most of the time it’s just one or two and on the rare occasion a small bouquet.

He once tried to teach you how to fence………

You two do have something in common, though, besides the other things you two might have in common, both of you don’t like getting wet(at least I think he doesn’t Idfk) due to the way you turned out to be the way you are, he makes sure you steer clear of large bodies of water because your attention will veer off when ur doing something.

When you two are duo hunting…he is blind I fear…so you have to help him out a little LOL(just a little blind)…(just a little)

[vonstarlight]

oc tag meme >:3 ‧₊˚✩

══════════ ⋆★⋆ ══════════ 

1.) Which of your characters represent you the most? ★ staring out w a hard one wtf!!! im one of those oc makers that puts pieces of himself in every character i make :'3 but 4 the LONGEST time (8th grade to freshman year of college!!) i had a specific oc named Thomas, i basically treated him like a sona w/o really realizing it haha 2.) Which of your characters represent you the least? ★ any character that's super suave & flirtatious LMAO i have zero rizz. also i have a few characters that are very stoic & serious like Aphelion & Charlotte, & i can never take myself seriously ^_^ 3.) What is your favorite design you made? ★ from a design point..... i think one of my faves has to be Roldos - you can tell everything abt her just by looking at her (bard + major lesbian + pink is the superior color). she has had a couple revamps in the past & her design just keeps getting better c: 4.) What is your favorite design inspiration? ★ def my friends' cool ocs <333

5.) What is your oldest character? ★ i can still remember my first oc ever lmfao. but regarding more current ocs that i actually still talk abt/draw, it would be Vallius 6.) What is your newest character? ★ Lina! i used her original design 4 a school project ^_^ 7.) Favorite human(oid) character you own? ★ absolutely 100% Desperado, my current dnd pc 8.) Favorite anthro character you own? ★ atm i only have 1 sooooo it goes to her lol, Echo 9.) What character has the most art? ★ that would definitely be Davy my beloved swashbuckler!!! 120+ images in his art folder but that also includes some art of him w his lover 10.) What character is the fan favorite? ★ also Davy c': ive gotten lots of gift art of him, we love this silly guy <333 11.) Any characters you co-own? ★ just one, it was a random character me n my friend designed together during an art collab! it's been so long tho i don't remember the character's name lol 12.) If you had to give up all your ocs but one, which would you keep? ★ this question is SICK & TWISTED!!!!! HOW COULD I CHOSE?!?!? i can't believe ur even asking me this..... so anyway it would be Davy 13.) Any characters based off of show/book/movie/game? ★ Sid & Moody are splatoon characters + Echo is based on Gargoyles + Demure is my Stardew Valley farmer! i don't make a lot of fan ocs but the ones i do have i luvvv 14.) Your smartest character? ★ Erran <333 15.) Your clumsiest character? ★ Zedd lol 16.) Your evilest character? ★ Lucias!!!! this motherfucker starts a war 17.) Your sweetest character? ★ Zelda <333 they don't have a single mean bone in their body 18.) Which of your character's names do you like most? ★ OOOOO this is tough!!! it'd say it's a tie between Zelda & Rosalina c: (maybe bc they share names w fave video game characters?? LOL) 19.) Which character have you drawn most? ★ Marius possessed me & for an entire year straight i drew so. SO many fucking pics of him 20.) Your most unique character? ★ girl idfk ._. most of my ocs are bisexual vampires

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[thesugarhole]

dd2 spoilers, though i think most neets have already finished the main plot + character stories. also hope this is coherent enough and im not misinterpreting the character a whole lot

i think the way sarmentis shrine ends is interesting. im not super in love with it, but like, i can believe that cutting off his own finger to ensure he doesnt play that song again in the future would be something hed do.

but at the same time, theres better interpretations to it that lets him still do that action without the end goal being "to not play the death melody* anymore". for example, being driven to the edge from the king&courts abuse and playing the song, physical shock feels like a good enough at-the-moment impulsive decision to get out of that mental state. (its the 101 on self harm)

like... this is the guy that rose the fandom ranks as the darling character by entering the damn hamlet in full clown costume with a just as unhinged & murderous atitude to boot. its evenly balanced with his actual personality and love of performing music / comedy, even if a lot of that now is tainted with bitterness and cynicism

so idk i think that if he went to the trouble to learn it and know what it was capable of he wouldnt quit it permanently after just one use. thats the whole point of the finale skill, at least in dd1, hype it up enough for a devastating result. imagine your jester does one finale on the hag and then is like 'and thats enough of that!' and drops dead in the family guy pose. and then gets up and finale the skill is permalocked like come on.

but i think that what stings extra was that he. i guess regretted using it after using it on a bunch people that had been abusing him for god knows how long?? its not unrealistic, sure, lots of victims feel bad for the abuser etc but i feel like it is for him. he never striked me as the type of guy to ever feel regret for just desserts type of revenge, at least in dd1. am i getting my point across or is this a bunch of nonsense rambling. anyway yea also tagging in case anyone wants to help me out with this one but idk 👉👈

*darkest dungeon has always been supernatural but personally i hate this change idk.... melody so bad you shit your pants and die idfk. let the man grab the dirk while no ones looking and cut the tyrants hands clean off like good ol times. make it a cool fighting montage where he keeps taking random ass weapons from others and striking them right back with said weapons. he wakes up later with a ringing to his ears and everyone chopped to bacon bits lol. i guess 'killer melody kills everyone in the room except the performer' is a more reasonable explanation than 'random clown successfully eviscerates everyone with knife he found laying around' sorry i like ultraviolence in fantasy settings :/ (jokes)

[i-keepmyideals]

I see your post, I understand and I appreciate it. I love seeing the reblogs and tags for this because it was just a thought my sleep deprived brain concocted and I posted it because, haha funny thing happening in the fandom. I just thought it was kinda funny. But I see a lot of people have thoughts on this and it’s just great lmao Like, I understand how people can come to that conclusion, especially if they’ve only watched the anime. I was more so talking about manga readers.

Anyway, you done did the one thing people shouldn’t do to me: allow me to introduce kpop to the situation. Been a kpop fan for literally almost half of my life. It’s hard for me to stop, but I’ll try my best lmao Most kpop idols are thin. That’s just beauty standard and generally how genetics play out. Some people tend to have prominent collarbones, obviously they’re more noticeable if a person is more on the slender side. I’ll start with my dear boy Wonho, who has always had pretty noticeable collarbones. A few years ago when he was with Monsta X, they were pretty prominent. He’s always been pretty muscular, see the blond tank top pics (taken in 2020, iirc) which is what I would roughly equate Gojo’s build to if we need an irl comparison.

Nowadays, his tiddies are bigger than my head, but his collarbones are still relatively prominent. Man’s is legit built like a whole fire station.

Upon seeing Gojo in the black sweater, I didn’t think he was lithe, per se, but I didn’t think he was hiding muscles similar to Toji/present day Wonho under there. But that’s just me. I’ve seen plenty of cases irl and in anime where a person or character seems pretty thin but are hiding a surprising build under a coat or sweaters. Another example is babby boy Christopher- Bang Chan. When he’s just chilling, doing his Chan’s Room streams, he often wears a lot of black, which is slimming, and a lot of really loose fitting, comfy tops and hoodies. To the unassuming eye and those that just don’t know, he has the average male kpop idol build.

In reality, Chan is also hiding a really impressive build.

Another memory engrained in my head comes from Yu-Gi-Oh 5D’s. When I was a kid, I loved watching whatever Yu-Gi-Oh content I could get my hands on and I watched 5D’s every Saturday. Yusei Fudo is my second favorite protagonist from the franchise. Like most Yu-Gi-Oh characters, he has a pretty iconic jacket and the standard thin boy build we see in anime, especially children’s cartoons/anime. Yu-Gi-Oh is targeted towards young boys and not a series that’s trying to draw older people in with hot ikemen. So imagine my surprise as a kid when they put Yusei in scenes without his jacket and he had muscles. They aren’t crazy big, bulging muscles, but certainly don’t match the noodle look his jacket gave him. I learned then to not judge too quickly lol

So now, back to the man of the hour. Like I said before, the post I made was from my sleep deprived mind and I typed it up in a couple of minutes. I was reminded of the the obligatory beach chapter of the manga. It’s Chapter 70: Hidden Inventory, Part 6. As stated, this was 11 years ago and Gojo was 17

Gojo has always been this way. Who wears an all black hoodie to the beach? Gojo, apparently. Also, I cannot defend his legs. I guess he just skips leg day, idfk skcnfkekfme But even here Gojo is pretty ripped. He just seems to be the type to like to hide this fact. Maybe it’s so that people and curses who don’t know who he is will underestimate him.

Also also, I said, too, that time doesn’t flow in the Prison Realm? Time doesn’t flow, so I’m not sure how the weeks would feel to Gojo. I’ve had a couple of people try to debate that in the 19 days he was sealed, he gained muscle and I’m just like…. No? You cannot gain a significant amount of muscle in just 19 days, and even if you could, how did Gojo? He can’t move. It is called the Prison Realm for a reason. It is a pocket dimension meant to designed to keep the being inside confined, imprisoned. What was he doing in there to exercise? Lifting skeletons?

There was no way for him to do much of anything. Inside the Prison Realm, all Gojo can do is sit and think. He thinks about Nobara, Megumi, Yuji, Nanami and the sweets he wants to eat. He sleeps and ignore the crushing atmosphere and skeletons inside. You can see this in a video called Jujutsu Kaisen Gokumonkyou which is just Gojo existing in the box with some fire lo-fi lol

Ayo, why do so many people think Gojo was lanky before his unboxing? He was stuck in a pocket dimension for nineteen days. Nineteen days is a lot of time but simultaneously isn’t when it comes to building muscle specifically. Also, the point of the cube was to trap him so he couldn’t move. He wasn’t deadlifting in the cube; he literally couldn’t do anything. At one point in time, Gege said time doesn’t even flow the same in the cube, and it’s more like there is no flow of time. Nineteen days for Yuji could have felt like a few seconds for Gojo. Gege could have changed their stance on that, idk, I haven’t read the chapter

My point is, Gojo hasn’t been lanky since high school, most likely. After Toji rocked his shit and nearly killed him, I imagine that would traumatize him at least a little lmao He improved his Infinity and gained, like, mast control over it and probably bulked up. This man is 28 and fights the strongest curses regularly. Aint no way he never gained muscle in the 11 years since his fight with Toji as a second year. I mean…even Yuji is shredded. The jacket Gojo wears is baggy. The black long sleeve shirt he wore? Kinda baggy. The blue button up? Pretty loose. Every time we see him in casual clothes, he’s wearing something loose or a jacket so we can’t see his frame very well. Plus, Gege drew this sketch two years ago so

Yeah, not lanky by any means

[celticcapricorn9945offical]

I posted 40 times in 2022

That's 40 more posts than 2021!

9 posts created (23%)

31 posts reblogged (78%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@celticcapricorn9945

@neokun25

@flamesfromthememoria

@celticcapricorn9945v2

@kitisscreaming

I tagged 39 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 29 posts

#relogging everything from my old blog before i got blocked out of it lmao-- - 11 posts

#my art - 9 posts

#fnaf au - 7 posts

#care bears - 7 posts

#funshine bear - 6 posts

#carebears - 6 posts

#fnafau - 6 posts

#can sinda - 5 posts

#lost media - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 107 characters

#i'm gonna have to make a new account for the comic and reblog everything from this one into the new one twt

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

very...VERY unpopular opinion but...

Sometimes underdeveloped characters are the best of the series because you can project yourself on them or develop interesting headcanons for them.

If you're a vocal synth fan and disagree with this...Idfk what to say, You probs have headcanons of your favourite vocal synth character which ironically has no "canon", "personality", or stuff, it's all just fanon. Checkmate~!

1 note - Posted September 29, 2022

#4

Idk if this counts as lost media or not but this had been bothering me that I can't find this artist's work--

So, There's this artist called Can Sinda. I've heard their music "You are a pink candle" in some videos (one youtube, another a Flipnote animation--). I have a soft spot for that song because of those vids-- Now, I can't find the song when I try to find it. tried looking up the name of the creator, Can Snida...nothing much. but I'll post what I've found: Can Sinda's Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7pZdE5pICqqIWA7j0GCk1X Can Sinda's Apple music: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/can-sinda/1492405594 Can Sinda's Deezer: https://www.deezer.com/en/artist/81514182?autoplay=false Xan Sinda's Youtube "Topic" channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU4Qxf63N4tc0aBb0qc6SZA

That's all I can find, but if you know anything, let me know.

4 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#3

okay, care bear fans...Consider this:

ya know how Funshine has Yellow eyes in the 2000s movies, the plushies, and the shows? but Red in the Adventures in care-a-lot movies...? and you like the idea of Funshine having red eyes and the idea of Funshine having yellow eyes? well, consider: Funshine with Heterochromia

5 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

#2

Hey, could you try to do a Funshine x Good Luck x Grumpy fanart bcz Funshine is poly ofc

"hope you like it" ~ Capri

See the full post

11 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So I saw @neokungachakid1's Edits with Funshine and Goodluck in Variety jackets a while ago and I wanted to draw them-- hope you like it Neo!

So have the Bois in their new jackets--also trying a new shading technique so yea-- I personally think I did well but I can see many mistakes lol

also, I had to fight the urge to draw Funshine's hat on him-- so yea--

14 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[clover-the-awesomest]

YESSS I GET TO DO THIS TOO THANKS FOR THE TAG

Okay! So, uh…

How many hours on Spotify: idfk honestly! I haven’t checked since Wrapped was like. The big thing of the year lol and I’m too lazy to check atm. Definitely over a thousand, though.

Favorite smell: I don’t really know… Maybe the smell of sugar cookies or peanut-butter cookies being made? Or like the previous tagged said, vanilla extract? I really like the smell of sweets I guess. (Nothing too sweet or coconut-ish though)

Wtf are you good at making in the kitchen: Mac and cheese. Like. Box Mac and cheese. I can make it in the microwave and in a pot and add extra butter and milk and that is literally it. I need help if I wanna make literally anything else.

Favorite cereal: Honey-nut Cheerios. Without a doubt. I like Cinnamon Toast Crunch as well but not in the milk.

Ever broke the furniture? What’s the story behind that: Oh yeah! I’ve broken quite a few valuable glass items over the years. The most memorable one though was this pretty old car that my grandfather made, and when my parents went out for dinner, my lil bro and I were roughhousing and we broke it… I hid in my room the entire day after that… It was not fun.

If you got a Guiness World Record, (Which I never actually will) what would it be for: Being the world’s biggest motherfucking idiot.

Can you ride a bike: HELL NAH! I fell off my bike ONCE when I still used TRAINING WHEELS and I never rode a bike ever again afterwards. Twas scarred for life apparently.

What do you normally wear in the house: Whatever I’m wearing in the house I guess. Eh, if I choose an outfit for school I only change into something more comfortable when I go to bed because it’s not worth changing my clothes 3 times a day for no reason. I just got this super oversized and super soft hoodie though, so whenever I come home after school I FUCCIN BOLT FOR THAT THING. Been wearing it a lot more since I’m done with school for the year! 🥰

Comfort character: Donnie from Rise (wow how original 🙄) and both Sonic the Hedgehog and Espio the Chameleon from SEGA (He’s more like the character I kin the most despite him being a goddamn ninja idk how the fuck he’s both my comfort character and the one I kin this bitch is a deadly lethal motherfucker yet he’s the most relatable wtf)

3 items to describe yourself with: Uhhhhh… Mac and cheese… Super big hoodies… And sketchbooks…? Yeah, that works I guess.

Okay that was a lot of fun! I am also blanking when it comes to people I know so I’ll just tag the first people that come to mind:

@tangledinink @wanderfan2000 @friccafracc @faecaptainofdreams

Random tag game!

Tag as many mutuals/people as you want! No pressure Spotify users, how many hours on spotify wrapped this year: Favorite smell: Any kind of meals you can make?: Favorite kind of cereal?: You ever broken a piece of furniture? What's the story if so?: If you got a guinness world record, what would it be?: Know how to ride a bike?: Outfit/attire style in the house?: Outfit/attire style in public?: Comfort characters!!: 3 items that would describe you best: Tags: @largefound @italic-does-random-shit @rushin-safire @wishtale-blogs @c00kietin @sleepyystarchild @ideaarts @flooffydergen @iamunabletothinkofablogname @crazed-rambler @godofautism @still-got-no-idea get pinged bozos (no pressure) oh and anyone else who wants to join in is free to!