#ideally id be back to what i was in 2020 when i was at my healthiest. but losing nearly 100 pounds is probably unachievable.

[mothusband]

oh yeah and today was day one of going to the park and walking every day. what i learned: i am hilariously out of shape!

[apuff]

@sagaofa-dying-star thanks for the tag!!! rewriting the post because it's long asf

 Do you have freckles?  everyone has a little freckles. but i dont have too many

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?  i only drink southern style sweet tea bc we never have any good hot tea around

What was the last song you listened to?  MAMA APPARENTLY?? i was on that black parade grind i guess

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?  stomach usually but sometimes i go for the recovery position

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?  yes

Do you prefer drawing or writing?  probably drawing but i like writing too

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?  i have 6 blankets in my bed and it's not enough

What’s your favorite band/artist?  ahem. aheem. hehe. my chemical romance

When is your birthday?  am i not supposed to say this for internet safety-? anyways its in december

How tall are you?  5'2 is on my id but my family says im taller than that

What color are your eyes?  green 😏😏i have the rarest eye color 😏😏😏

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?  two of my online friends one of my irl friends one of my mutuals and one person i don't even like but probably really needs it

Fears?  im afraid of people i love dying, being in trouble, being late, and tape measures.

What’s your favorite color?  green BUT I LIKE ALL OF THEM

What’s your favorite season?  I LIKE ALL OF THEM

Want any tattoos? What of?  i kinda want some of those semi permanent ones that last for a few months of just random shit like band members and memes actually maybe i just want to draw on myself in sharpie

Want any piercings? Where?  i just want normal ear piercings :<

Who is the last person you texted?  my ex- camp roommate

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?  yes me and my bestie have been friends for like two and a half years

What/who do you miss?  i miss having good breakfast at camp 😭😭 also i hate to say it but getting exercise. also going outside..

How was your day today?  pretty good

How much sleep did you get last night?  like eight or something

Do you believe in aliens?  y'all. the universe is REALLY big. there's gotta be some alien bacteria hanging out on SOME planet SOMEWHERE

When was the last time you cried? Why?  yesterday because of algebra 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️muhammad ibn musa al-khwarizmi when i FUCKING CATCH YOU ITS OVER

What’s your favorite decade?  2020s- if i had to pick something else it would be 2000s

What are some seemingly childish things you like?  laughing at my reflection in spoons (i highly recommend doing this btw)

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?  i like too many books to count and i have read hp and pjo too many times to count, but recently ive wanted to reread the outsiders so much i go to bed thinking about it and wake up thinking about it

How are you, really?  fine but every other time in my life i have thought i was fine i have been very mentally ill in retrospect so 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Does it take you a long time to make decisions?  depends on the type of decision..

What are you looking forward to in the near future?  artfight being over

What are you looking forward to in the distant future?  moving out :v

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?  i am going to the house of my online friends

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?  who sleeps with the door open

What’s your favorite flower?  cherry blossom or lily of the valley

Do you currently have a squish?  i don't know what the difference is between this and just loving your friend, so, idk?

Do you like your middle name?  yeah, i actually use it as my internet and gaming name

Do you prefer dogs or cats?  cats, i respect dogs but they have no concept of personal space

Do you have any phobias?  y'all i really don't like tape measures

Do you stay up late? i consider 11 30 to be late but some of my friends stay up all night sooo its subjective i guess

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?  yes; sunny beach is better because where i live the water is always freezing so you need it to be hot or else it's just miserable

What’s your favorite cartoon?  maybe she-ra

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs i'm already tagging my moots later.,/,/

Do you have siblings? How many?  i have 6 siblings

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?  MYSELF- i am lonely right now

Is there anyone you would die for?  why is this such an intense question 😭😭😭probably no i'm a bit of a coward

What do you need when you’re sad?  gerard way but i need him all the time so

Have you memorized your phone number?  no and it haunts me every day

Who’s someone you can trust with your life?  myself (no offense)

What does your last text say?  just had the most transcendent sandwich on the way home

i know this one is really long so no pressure to do all of it OR do it at all LMAO @the-mighty-q @karineverse @the-mighty-mittens @sea-creeture @thankyouforthev3n0m @hopelesshardrockfan @wannabescemo @starbird06

[usermaha]

THE MONTH OF TXT

There's lotttsss coming up from txt and im super excited but also. a tad bit worried.

SWEET- 5th July

When I heard this was gonna be a full album i was sooo hyped. Since we have JPN versions of all the Titles now, we could expect at least a handful of original tracks right? No we just got one :/ I have yet to listen to the whole album, and who knows, it might be an enjoyable listen front-to-back, but im still disappointed.

As for the song herself: I wanna talk about it in another post but Hydrangea Love is an easy classic txt homerun. Slower romantic track. Killer vocals. Huening Kai. What more do you need?

Im genuinely confused about how the album dropped. SRR JPN dropped in late June, then Hydrangea Love also dropped before the album was set to release? Why?

Do It Like This- 7th July

here the marketing is confusing me. They announced it as a "comeback", and are clearly treating it as such. Did Jun have to go caramel for a collab track? I dont remember making this much noise for Valley of Lies.

I suppose Jonas Brothers is a much bigger name, but they haven't done anything relevant since their comeback in 2019 either.

Idk the hype around this is very high and it can very easily fall through. It can very easily end up sounding like a pop song from 2015, no txt-ness in sight. Ryan Tedder is the producer i think which puts me even more at edge.

Another thing is the timing. Placing both the JPN album and this Collab so close to each other doesnt seem like a good idea to me. How do we get the time to properly promote both? I thought they were shooting for a proper comeback later in the year (it still might happen, which furthers my point.) The US leg just ended, there is Lolapalooza...

I just think there is too much going on surrounding txt. Its been one thing after another for years at this point. I would rather have them properly rest for a reasonable stretch of time, and have more complete projects, rather than rushing one-song-releases.

Our Lost Summer- 28th July

Again marketing i was like "what is this???🤔" in the comments till a kind moa explained its a tour documentary. From Disney Plus :/

But why Our Lost Summer as the title though? Doesnt that automatically make you think of 2020? We didnt lose that summer we made the best out of it. Shouldn't it have the sentiment of Our Glorious Summer?

To be fair i did want there to be a One Dream Season 2, a full-circle moment. bc One Dream was about their first time taking on the U.S as txt, and after three years its their first world tour. But without Mnet's involvement.

I hope this can be introspective and delve into the persepectives and experiences of each member and kind of like round up their career until now (i basically want a doc about txt as a whole not just that summer). Instead of just "here's some tour footage". Honestly id take that too bc ive been hungry for high-quality tour footage. The whole thing on streaming would be the ideal but. I'll take anything 🤲🤲

Man looking back at it all will be great that moment in time. felt so unreal. Best time of my life? Arguably.

[frozen-fountain]

1 ,5, 10, 17 for the fanfic asks!

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

Anything I put on the internet before 2020 is verboten here; I did make up Tomb Raider stories when I was about nine, though, based on whichever period of world history I was into at the time.

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

I usually write at my kitchen table; tea-making facilities are within easy reach, there's an array of boxes for the boy to chill in. Ideally it's still light outside, the room is moderately temperatured, and it's quiet, though living under a family of six usually means I have to create my own ambiance with low-key music and atmospheric sound.

Back when I had little netbook, I took it into the middle of the woods once and banged out an entire chapter of an original project amongst the humus and occasional bold deer. I need a way to facilitate doing something like that again.

10. Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

Surely good writing does all of that at once? But if I had to single out one, I'll choose dialogue (and inner monologue in conjunction). It's not the aspect of the craft that comes to me most naturally, but the gap between what's said and what gives lie to it is endlessly fascinating to play with. I think it's maybe the best vehicle for letting a reader become involved in constructing the story for themselves, and it's also super satisfying to feel you're getting a character's speaking voice just right.

17. What fic are you most proud of?

This is hard! Obviously I'm proud of all of them to some degree, or they wouldn't be shared. But I'll single out You Grow the Flowers Yourself, which to date is the closest I feel a completed story has ever matched the crystalline image in my head, though it's also the recent project that challenged me the least (additionally: I don't draw on numbers to determine a story's success, but I'm kind of proud that I managed to rake in fifty kudos on a piece about Elmyra Gainsborough).

Into the Night Uncharted has segments I'm not happy with and that will probably become the case for more of it as time goes on, but it also has a high number of my favourite passages I've ever written, and I'm proud of how hard I push myself with that one and how much I managed to exorcise from haunting my own head by getting it down.

I'm proud of Aperture Priority for giving a moment in the spotlight to a character (Barret) who I adore so much but who I feel gets frequently neglected by both the fandom and the post-OG source material. I think I did a good job of honouring the spirit of his arc by not providing didactic answers to any associated moral dilemmas, and there's some layered and overlapping metaphors in there that I came out really pleased with. I also got to utilise a trope/technique I'm particularly fond of (arguing with one's id through an imagined conversation with a dead loved one), and I like to think I did it well.

Lastly, my fic Penitent was a huge step out of my usual niche and a pretty out-there idea already, so I can't not mention it here. I really enjoyed writing it and definitely want to do more in that significantly darker vein in the future. I intended its final lines to be a last twist of the knife, but some readers found it reassuring or hopeful - and rather than feeling like I failed, or chickened out, I really like that the piece allowed for that ambiguity to exist.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Penumbra

Penumbra has 9 stories at Gossamer and 1 at AO3. You can find her complete catalogue here. If you’ve read any X-Files fic, surely you have read at least one of her stories. If not, why not? Some wondrous places to start are Parabiosis, Contact High, Black Hole Season, and Heuvelmans’ On the Track. Big thanks to Penumbra for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

In a way, yes. There are no precedents for what happened to us with XF fandom, and in the late aughts it all seemed to be over. I got out and never looked back, haha. What really surprised me was to find, all these years on, that there are still X-Philes, although it does make sense they’d seek out those wonderful old fics we wrote.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

Let's be honest, in my Penumbra days I was in a bad situation, the X-Files was a coping mechanism, and Mulder and Scully's relationship an idealization. I latched onto it as only a lonely obsessive can. The X-Files withholds; it opens up metamagical voids; it isolates while simultaneously plunging one into an ethereal community. It’s the tattoo I deserve.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

The X-Files forced me to get online. Computers weren’t a part of my life, so I sneaked into the local university comp labs and figured it out. It was absolutely terrifying, like landing a space capsule, and I didn’t have ID and lived in fear of being caught. The first thing I typed into a computer was ‘X-Files’. So renegade! My heart was pounding and I thought sirens might sound and fire doors engage.

The Fox site had an X-Files forum that was utter pandemonium. Glorious and scary. At that time, I was one of the many Starbucks. The people on atxc seemed way too smart and opinionated. It was hard to even get membership in forums; they were heavily moderated. Mostly I remember lots of email friendships. Sometimes a kindly mature Phile would reach down from the ether with some words of wisdom. A. I. Irving was one. She was dealing with M.S., and writing fic while she still could. It is with an enormous sense of poignancy that I think of the people who were the ‘adults’ of the fandom then. Now I’m ancient in Phile years, but at the time I was just a clueless twenty-something, looking up to all those greats.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

Wow, as WE ALL KNOW, discovering X-Files fanfic was a revelation. Whew! I thought: stand back, the professionals are handling this. The authors were about as human as Greek gods. Eventually it dawned on me that anyone could write it.

The first fic I wrote was HORRIBLE. I put a link to it on my site, so that people can get a little hit of schadenfreude. Those early stories were on shaky footing. I had no confidence in myself. I felt intimidated writing about sophisticated, highly-educated career people when I was none of those things. Heck, I was cleaning motel rooms. I'm still none of those things, but, through Mulder and Scully, I've lived that life a little bit, and it was fun.

The third story, 'Contact High', was all sex and drugs. I’d done acid and shrooms, so finally, a subject I could assert some authority over! I decided to just go for it. That abandon was a breakthrough, and Penumbra came into being. But there was so much going on inside me, it was hardly harnessable; as stories like ‘Vespers’ and ‘Black Hole Season’ show, it was like getting on a horse that you can't control and just clinging to its neck as it gallops.

This time around, in my latest incarnation, I feel that I have a better perspective on Mulder and Scully, more of an even footing. I’ve been through a lot, and in 'Hotel-Zero', I wanted to demonstrate not just how to survive, but how to survive as yourself. I wanted to maybe create a sort of handbook for how to keep your head above water. Life is hard for all of us, people are hard on us. You need to keep a singular perspective on yourself, and allow no one modify it.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

I’ve had two separate experiences, with a seven-year hiatus, and I wouldn't have missed either of them for the world. Belonging to an obscure hive mind has been one of the most interesting and rewarding (not to mention super-secret) facets of my life, and that will always be my overall takeaway as an X-Phile.

However, as the fandom imploded there was understandable backlash against the whole Penumbra thing. The panegyric was just too much, the style definitely overblown. I posted 'Fathoms Five' as things were melting down, and there was real outrage. People were boycotting it as a political statement. Oh, we were all so raw—the X-Files was ending and IWTB was a heartbreaker. At that point I’d been working on 'Heuvelmans’ for a couple of years and was forced to admit I couldn’t finish it, nor would it be well-accepted if I did. So you can sort of see the baggage I was carrying when I left the fandom, not to mention the creative angst.

Three things brought me back:

1. They started filming the Revival. I flipped out at the thought of seeing Mulder and Scully again.

2. @perplexistan contacted me, and I realized there was a frisky pack of Philes on tumblr. Philes are my people, that’s just a fact.

3. I read @teethnbone’s ‘Das Ding’, which zapped at my temples like thunderstorm electrodes. So, there I was, in a trance, making the Devil’s Tower out of mashed potatoes.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

No, I would consider it a sacrilege. I have loved and admired many other television series, but writing X-Files fic for Philes has been too extraordinary an experience to dilute. I have a zillion obsessions, but for only one am I fannish.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I just finished up that monster oldie called ‘Heuvelmans’ On the Track’, under the name The Mythopoeic. It’s on AO3. I have a couple of obscure side projects with a writing buddy. And I have another old fic called ‘Blue Ruin’, a cancer arc fic I’d like to finish someday.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

It is very nice. People are gentle and welcoming. Philes used to criticize stories mercilessly and authoritatively, but you don’t see that a lot anymore.  I have plenty of outside projects, so I am trying to ease away, you know, like taking off your shoes to slip out of the room after the baby’s fallen asleep.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

I’d like each one of you to know that your belief in me changed my life and saved me a thousand times over.

(Posted by Lilydale on December 8, 2020)

[virtual-luvr]

Scared Confessions

Pairing: Zuko x Servant! Reader

Pronouns: male; he/him

Warnings: angst with happy ending, mentions of homophobia but nothing serious serious. Like one curse word.

Description: even if Zukos father didnt approve of your relationship, that wouldn't stop you guys from falling in love with eachother

Note: this was requested by @luckymunchkin and i just need to thank you because i love writing male reader and i also have the biggest crush on Zuko so win win

---------------

Another fight with his father, when he stormed out of the room he immediatly went looking for you.

Knowing you worked at the castle and defenetly had to be around somewhere made him calm down just a tiny bit

Seeing a familiar figure on one of the branches of the tree, he rushes over. Ignoring the people around him, including his sister who was yelling after him

Seeing the way he was making a bee line towards your figure she stops herself and rolls her eyes, turning around and going back to causing choas somewhere else.

He sighs and stumbles down, sitting on top of one of the big roots of the tree. Leaves and remaining droplets of water falling all around him

Zuko looks down at his hands, still shaky from anger and dissapointment in his fathers words and ideals

You drop down from your, might i add pretty comfortable, perch and crouch down to be at eye level with Zuko

You show a big grin, "didn't know pretty boy was going to accompany me on my lunch break"

Even though he was still mad he blushes at your comment

Sensing his, very strong, emotions right now your smile falters and you grab his hands

He looks back up at you, craning his neck

"Zuko, what happened?" Your eyes show nothing but kindness and concern for him, and it makes his heart ache

But now is not the time for his crush on you to surface and make him flustered

He stumbles around with his words and before he can say another word he sees you sit down on another big root of the tree, right beside him

You give him a warm smile, he sees you shuffle closer to him and before he can protest. You're grabbing his face in your hands

"Its okay Zuko we don't have to talk about it if you dont want to"

You sit down on the partially wet grass and pull Zuko towards you

He falls into your lap with a soft thud, if you werent careful his body coliding with yours might have knocked the wind out of you

You give out a laugh that rings in Zukos ears.

With your kind words and your laugh alone hes already falling head over heels for you, i mean, that would have been the case if it weren't for the fact that he already was head over heels for you.

You gently pull his head into your lap. Now hes looking up at you, the sky behind you only a blur

He was only focused on you.

At this point his anger had faded and he only felt warmth in his heart

You always were able to cheer him up, he didn't understand how you could do it so easily

You barely had to do any work, some comforting words and your cute smile and he was done for

Some of the servants nearby smiled at your guy's interaction, deciding to leave you alone they walked off to do work on other parts of the castle

His small smile turns into a frown for a second though

Remembering the conversation or for better words, fight, with his father. He chews at his bottom lip, deep in thought

"Hey hey hey, whats wrong?" You say, your brows furrowed in worry and your eyes inspect his face

"It's just-" he starts but sighs deeply remembering that, to his father, you were nothing but a servant.

He shouldn't be telling you such personal stuff, atleast that's what his father says.

Just that, a servant.

But not to Zuko, you were so much then just that.

You were his everything and if it weren't for the rules and his father. He would have ran away with you a long time ago.

He closes his eyes and feels a hand in his hair, softly running through and trying to get out any tangles that a brush would miss

He knows you're waiting for an answer, but you don't pressure him into telling you immediatly

Thats one of the reasons why he loves you so much

The hand in his hair falls onto his face and traces softly the scar on his face

He sighs and grabs the hand near his scar, giving your palm a soft kiss as it cups his cheek.

"I don't want to think of you as just a servant, and my father has started to notice that"

You're shocked at his confession, what can he mean by that-

Is it what you think it is?

As much as you would like that idea it would put him at risk and you being male could put him at even more risk, and put you at risk too.

You dont want his father to get angry and put another scar on Zukos body

Because you know you wouldn't stand with that and might do something you regret, and that can lead to something bad

He looks at you, eyes scanning your face for any sign of disgust or disappointment.

Maybe he was expecting a reaction similar to what Azula or his father would react with

But you wouldn't do that, and deep down he knows that too

You only give him another smile, similar to the one you greeted him with.

"Zuko, i dont know about this" you say nervously

His heart crashes and he looks at you with such sadness in his eyes, it makes your heart hurt so badly.

"What i mean is just- i don't want you to get in trouble. Especially if its because of me, what if your father found out. He could hurt you. I love you so much, i dont know what id do with myself if he hurt you-"

He cuts you off, "(Y/N) please, i need you. I can't lose you. I don't care what my father thinks. I only care about you, please, i dont even know if you feel the same way. I might not even be your type but-"

There he goes again chewing at his lips, you smack his chest lightly to make him stop

You heart shattered at his words, how could he mot think that you didn't love him back?

Fuck it, you were determined to make him know how much you love him.

His breath hitches as you drag him into a kiss.

His hands wound up in your hair, bringing you closer to him, you could feel his heart hammering in his chest

But same goes for you, your heart was beating madly against your chest

You part, the kiss leaving you both slightly breathless and panting

In that moment, you made a promise to yourself and Zuko, you would never leave him

He's stuck with you from now on.

And he wouldn't have it any other way.

[1222 words; august/6/2020]

[gerrymike]

does your mike crew have psychosis? i’m asking because of that one bit in the most recent chapter where gerry says that ophelia gets to go insane and mike immediately shuts that down

ROIGHT the short answer here is thats very likely the Diagnosis. The long answer is wait hold on two seconds while i cite my sources id like to be academic about this. Cut bc itsa long boy. cw refs to paranoia institutional gaslighting Spiral typical content etc

i think preface should be that mike in canon (and by extension satg) is pretty mired in the spiral yeah. twisting deceits want me fish fear me. And i’m very much not the ideal person rn to be fully unpacking themes and implications and whatnot wrt TMA and mental illness but i think it’s safe to say that spiral = pretty direct allegory

and while it draws on real world stigma/perceptions of psychosis i think it’s good to keep the fiction/reality distinction (i.e. fantastical evil entity out to get you and convince you you’re out of your mind VS actual hallucinations). obviously they cannot at all be divorced from each other because of how fiction/reality affect, intertwine, and represent each other, but personally with like what i write id hesitate to directly conflate the two especially in my position

HOWEVER! On the part of YOU the reader. Yes valid interpretation re: Mike. I think definitely with his hot entity commodity status how people around him (parents, other adults, healthcare professionals) perceive his panic regarding the lichtenberg would go that route. Much like other victims of the spiral

For one, awful moment, I found myself frozen in a tug-of-war with whatever was inside that door, clinging desperately to that rope as it stretched away and vanished into blackness. But I was six, and felt myself starting to lose my footing and fall towards it, so I did the only thing I could: I let go, and I watched my most treasured possession disappear forever as the door closed behind it, and I ran back to bed. I told my parents, of course, but they didn’t believe me. They just thought I’d lost it, and was making up wild stories to cover it up. The wall was the wall again, and the picture of the old sailing boat was back where it should have been.

Sims, J. (2019). “MAG146: Threshold”, in The Magnus Archives. https://snarp.github.io/magnus_archives_transcripts/episode/146.html

mike’s parents in satg do try but with the nature of the Spiral down the road mike definitely feels the lasting effects of people not believing him. It’s part of what pushes him to be independent in his hunt for something to escape the lichtenberg (he’s tired of being told he’s mad, he’s tired of being told he’s NOT mad and a liar instead, he’s tired of talking to terrible adults, etc.)

When I was twelve, curled under my bed to escape the pounding of the rain against my window, the roll of thunder that just rattled my skull, I began to travel them once again. My hands ran down and along those jagged, discoloured lines, every branch, every turn, my nostrils full of ozone, my veins full of fear. And they didn’t stop. I knew where my scars ended, but… those I traced in the dark that night, they just went on and on and on, far beyond me and to somewhere that still flashed with that unspeakable white light. That was the night everything changed. Before it I was odd, certainly, probably traumatised, and gripped with a terror of storms, but after that night, things were different. I think, looking back, that was when I called it. That was when it caught my scent.

Sims, J. (2018). “MAG91: The Coming Storm”, in The Magnus Archives. https://snarp.github.io/magnus_archives_transcripts/episode/091.html

and i think in his early teenhood when he’s still new to the evil lightning man thing. hes young and scared enough to go to his parents which leads to going in and out of facilities and talking to people who lets be real dont have his best interests at heart. and psychiatric/therapeutic malpractice leaves a mark on the psyche for sure; messes with one’s self perception and esteem to. A Degree. More on that in further chapters

Oh, other doctors did, did they? Mm. Well, that sounds reasonable, let me just have a look at your case file here, a gander at the old medical history. Medication, diagnosis, medication, oooh, hospitalisation. Hm. Trouble is it’s all lies, isn’t it? Because I’m your doctor now, Doctor David, and I say these people, these ‘professionals’, had no idea what they’re talking about because, well, I understand what they simply didn’t. You made it all up, didn’t you? What was it? A plea for attention, trying so desperately to make the world notice you?

Sims, J. (2020). “MAG177: Wonderland”, in The Magnus Archives. https://snarp.github.io/magnus_archives_transcripts/episode/177.html

so. Combination being gaslit by professionals and constantly hounded by manifestation of madness. understandably one would be touchy about implications re: Ophelia even when theyre not targeted

[foryouthegays]

techno liveblog w timestamps lets go for ‘a new home (dream SMP)’ stream

good laugh times: 00:13:50, 00:14:55, 1:38:45, ik it doesnt look like a lot but like u should watch the stream anyway bc philzas there and his laugh is amazing and they just go so well together

times techno calls phil his friend: 00:6:00 00:37:00, 00:45:17, 0:1:09:30, 01:11:15, 01:26:35, 01:50:05, 2:35:00

FSDJKFAF;LS HE KEPT THE MUTED INTRO IN JHKADFLS (ends at 00:1:25)

i like how, when faced with Leaving Youtube, techno would choose to be an author. i want a book by techno. reblog this if u want a book by techno (with an audiobook by him as well) /hj. 00:1:33

i love how he says ehhhhhh so much lskjhdfas (abt 2 mins in) 

who the FUCK just remembers that the word fortuitous exists wtf 00:5:17

00:7:45 PHILZA TIME PHILZA TIME LETS GO

00:8:55 tommy time :/

0:14:10 rANBOO JUST WALKS IN, LOOKS AROUN ,AND LEA VE SIM CRYING 

i love how much philza laughs at technos jokes bc pretty much everything he says IS a joke he just says it in such a serious voice that p much everyone else is like,,,yeah,,,,yup,,,,and phil just knows when hes joking and his laugh is so good with technos voice. sbi? whos that? i only know philza and technoblade

00:19:30 ghostbur joins! this is my first time hearin ghostbur btw

00:19:40 haha string axe technos so bad at crafting what a fool /j

00:21:07 ghostbur: “Even I remember how to make a fishing rod!” ghostbur u just MURDERED technoblade oh my god im gonna scream hgjdfksla i love ghostbur so much

00:23:55: GHOSTBUR NO!! DON’T DIE YOU’LL BECOME A DOUBLE GHOST!!!! -technoblade 2020

00:24:55 technoblade neva lies -guys he almost did the technoblade neva dies ahh!!!!!

i havent heard anyone talk about this but techno has a dedicated roleplay voice. like listen to him talk to tommy at 00:25:08. his voice gets more even, he uses names a lot more often (seriously, listen to his theseus speech. he says tommy so often, its incredible.), and his voice gets,,,,deeper? not deeper but smoother, in a way, and he repeats what he says for emphasis instead of humor. and his voice is louder, and he seems more assertive. 

00:27:30 philza: where we goin, by the way? techno: to our- to my new home. 

techno cmon let phil live w u wed get so much more content cmonn

00:28:50 the fact that he calls the manhunt theme “dream music” makes me laugh so hard. and then his version of it,,,,,m love he (also he sings it here and at  01:14:20)

00:35:10 why is ranboo so cryptic im-

why does he just casually know the word sentry wh at i hate him 00:39:45

this is the worst sentence (structurally) ive ever heard techno say im gonna cry 00:49:33 ‘im too busy thinkin of new ideas to sleep so i could actually execute them’ and tubbos *oh?* after is just hdsfgkjlka

LKSJDHFJK 00:51:49

00:54:30

techno: thats one of dreams powers, he can just stop the rain

tubbo, quietly: like jesus!

i love them sm dsfhkjla they kept going but i jus gdfhjksa jesus has op

techno @ being the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans: haha funnie!!

techno @ having fun w religious stuff: i wILL BE CANCELLED NO-

00:58:10 “hey if ur [ghostbur]  a ghost, do instant damage potions heal you now?” “...no,, they hurt me still :(” DSIULZKJHFSLKFJH 

01:04:00 his brother named the cow bob im- aww 

also he has a fanart wall again!!!

01:09:30 “phil, you’re the only friend i have left in this world.” aWWWWW HE GAVE HIM THE COMPASS 

“dont smoke, it’s a joke” -technoblade 01:14:15

ROLEPLAY SPEECH VOICE IS BACK AT 1:16:10 “they pillage my base for everything i’m worth, they use me for the revolution, but oooOOOoo i took a pickaxe with his consent? oOOOooOo i’m a thief!”

holy shit 01:17:15 “you know what, phil? for you, the world, alright? it’s fine.” oH MY GOD HHHHGHG (context, right before they were arguing bc phil took some blocks from his base and techno thought that when he said phil could take anything he meant from the chests)

the COMIDY of that villager coming in and sleeping while techno was readin donos at 01:22:05 RIGHT AFTER phil freaked out abt inturruptin his dono readin im SFDHKJLA:

techno talkin bout the winstreak and how he wont be able to live up to that sort of playin at 01:22:30ish is super important and ill transcribe it tomorrow, but if u can id highly rec watchin it. 

01:24:20 “[readin dono] what’s your favorite movie? uh, the princess bride is pretty good” techno ily that movie rocks also he said it so fast like hes ashamed of it noo

techno says no to canon ranboo son btw! 01:25:30

01:25:55 “i wasnt in that story, therefore it doesnt matter” all of technoblr be like 

01:37:49 is great lemmie transcribe

“how have you still not gotten a second monitor?? holy shit.”

“let me tell you something. and im only telling you this because i know that so many people in the chat are gonna be furious. so i recently realized- i think the second monitor can just be any ol’ monitor, right? you literally just plug it in, and its set up? well i mean you have to turn on some settings, but like, thats it, or something?”

“yeah,,,,, uh techno you fuckin destroyed my chat, by the way, oh my god, [earlier techno told his viewers to twitch prime philza] there has been like 40 primes just flying through”

“yeahhh twitch prime!!! twitch prime philza yeahh!!! so anyways the other day, i like, i looked to my left, and realized that my old monitor has been like, five feet away from where i sit and stream for the last three years?”

“oh my god...”

“so i- i literally do not have to leave my room to set up a second monitor and i havent. and i’m still usin my laptop for this stream.

“is this gonna be one of those situations where you like, you have a thing, you just refuse to do the thing?”

“listen, my desk is-

“yOU STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE!!!”

“AHHHH I HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE! I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY MCC COIN! DUDE I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBER PLAQUE! ITS STILL THERE RIGHT BEHIND ME! ITs sTILL IN THE BOX! i never made a video on it....”

“bruhhhhh [philza laughs] thats FREE VIEWS what are you doing??”

“ill open it at 8 mil :/.”

“you could LITERALLY make a video of you just like, throwing it off a wall, and then thumbing up, like doing a thumbs up, and then that would be it. 10 seconds. ten seconds. thumb and elbow in shot. [laughs]”

techno is such a disaster i love him

01:34:18 the way techno says “tommy, that statement has NEVER been true” i dont like sayin i simp for block men but GOD sometimes his voice is nicer than usual hhhgn

“man i sure wish tommyinnit was in this stream” -nobody ever (just after previous timestamp)

01:40:15 is fuckin hilarious and im actually crying oh my god techno just says things and says them well with a completely straight face how does he do it

i cannot WAIT until theres a president w the last/first name andy so we can say president andy and think abt technoblade

IM CRIASDNGUSFHD 01:44:38 PHILZA LOOK OUT LOOK OUT PHILZA  LSKJDAFJASD;LKF

i love when techno talks abt his vids. like u can tell he puts a lot of thought into the vids (esp these ones) and like at 01:47:00 he talks abt the “I DIDNT PUT DEAPTH STRIDER ON THOSE BOOTS, FUNDY!” and how its just that creepin realization that you were doomed from the start and how he made the armor, he isnt intimidated by the netherite bc he didnt enchant it all the way and only he knows that,,, and i just,,,hgg he

he reveals that hes writin the next arc at 01:48:00: “oh, speakin of arcs, chat, i’m writing the next arc. so, you know. hope nothin bad happens in two weeks, chat!” IM SO EXCITED like he clearly has his character fleshed out and is SO good at writing and retellin history im so so excited to see where he takes it AHHHH and also taht means he might stream more bc he might make his character more important (keep in mind this is the guy who wrote self insert hypixel fanfics. he has no shame in puttin himself first and i respect him so much for it) 

01:51:20 “they’re tryin to get a second customer but they’re riskin their first” is lowkey a good line

has anyone else noticed that techno says wise a lot? like at 01:55:10 he literally says “wise dragon armor” as a joke but like i think he says wise so much BECAUSE of skyblock like hjkfdsla

01:57:30 techno plea se eat 

ok 1:58:45 is hilarious and all but at the end of his ramble he says “come back, i miss you” and lowkey im crying 

techno needs to stop knowing his audience more than we know ourselves im hsfkjda 02:05:25 “the chat’s spammin ‘eat technoblade, eat!’ like they’re not gonna start, like, theyre not gonna get super sad if i ended the stream right now, like theyre not gonna all cry ‘i miss technoblade *sniffs* why- whyd he leave to eat food, why did he listen to our advice noooo’”

02:14:50 NEW VIDEO POGGGG CARL THE HORSE POGGGGGG  NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHT POGGGGG

02:17:40 “i could start a potato farm out here to show how much ive changed” techno last time u made a potato farm u started an entire war that lasted a year that does NOT say calm and retired to me lskgdfjagsldj

02:23:00 why does techno just reference greek mythology so much. makin me scared for his arc. 

also he talks abt smp earth a lot in this stream i love it so much

i also just. love?? how much sbi respect tommy like they bully him but when talkin bout him they just have so much respect for how much work he puts into youtube and i just,,,,hgnn they r friends 

02:33:13 sbi streamer house lets go cmon

02:34:15 “i think if i streamed every day i could keep up” on one hand YE S  but on the ohter oh god techno no we have to keep up tho

hearing techno say “violence isnt the answer” is so scary  02:35:40

02:37:30 technosneeze 

hiS BROTHER SENT HIM 46 DISCORD MESSAGES SFKDJLFLKASF 2:49:25 i love his end screen so much hes just sadness,,,,retirement,,,t,echnoblade,,,the government is going to fall on its own due to lack of organization and ideals,,,,,,subscribe,,,,,sadness,,,,,also 2:50:45 is making me laugh so hard its just sad music and technos like??? whys phil in my house drinking milk????? 

overall, fantastic stream, if ya want some chill techno philza content i highly recommend. 

[taste-in-music]

taste-in-music’s Year End Wrap-Up

Hello everybody! We’ve finally reached the end of 2020. While I’m glad to leave this miserable year behind, one of things that undeniably got me through it was the vast amount of awesome music we got. In past years I’ve made favorite album and EP lists, but this time around I’m going to tackle them all in one go, giving reviews on the projects that had some significances to me over the course of the year. I’m going to make a post for my favorite songs too, so keep an eye out for that in coming days. Now, without further ado, let’s get started, shall we?

folklore by Taylor Swift: This was an incredible year of growth for Taylor Swift. As much as I’ve enjoyed her past music, the way she constantly felt the need to address what people thought of her always irked me, (though after watching her documentary, I do understand why she did it.) It wasn’t Taylor Swift the public persona that was most interesting, I thought. It was Taylor Swift the artist, the songwriter, the storyteller. What I wanted was an album focused on that. This year, I got one, (well... more on that later,) and it’s my favorite project she’s ever done. The tales Swift spins on folklore span across love triangles, heiresses, and battlefields, and she nails each and every one. While the chilly indie-folk influence from the likes of Aaron Dessner and Justin Vernon is prominent, Swift’s warmth and charisma always cuts through the fog like a beam of sunlight. So yeah, this is my undeniable album of the year.

Fetch The Bolt Cutters by Fiona Apple: I only started listening to Fiona Apple last year and had thoroughly enjoyed her music, but this album cemented her as one of my favorite songwriters and performers of all time. Everything about Fetch The Bolt Cutters is so idiosyncratic yet fits together in just the right way, like watching an entire house being dropped from the sky and falling perfectly into place. It is a testament to the creative process, emotional honesty, and breaking free from all the cages you may find yourself in, whether they be societal, personal, or those of your own making. And in a year that was so isolating, it felt like Apple was whispering everything I needed to hear right into my ear, just when I needed it. In short, my boltcutters have been motherfucking fetched. 

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers: When Punisher was announced, I had no clue how Phoebe Bridgers would match the quality of Stranger In The Alps. Upon first listen, I wasn’t sure she had. By the fifteenth time I was listening to this album and every lyric was hitting like Cupid’s arrow to the jugular, I knew she’d surpassed it. Punisher presents a sonic scope that both comforts and crushes all at once, like with the upbeat yet mournful horns on “Kyoto” or the cathartic swell on standout “I Know The End.” In my opinion, Bridgers is one of the greatest songwriters of our generation in the making, and I can’t wait to see what the future brings for her. She may know the end, but she’s far from it. 

SAWAYAMA by Rina Sawayama: This is the album I see becoming a new shorthand for the true potential of pop excellence, a cult hit that never got its time to shine but is beloved by pop music geeks to the ends of the earth, like EMOTION by Carly Rae Jepsen. SAWAYAMA so effortlessly blends diverse genres and influences like disco, nu metal, and arena rock, and it yet it remains cohesive due to Rina Sawayama’s sheer strength as a performer. She deserves a spot on the pop girlie hierarchy, and one near the top. 

Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa: I really enjoyed Dua Lipa’s debut album, but even I didn’t expect her to come through with such a fully realized, consistent, downright fantastic follow up. Future Nostalgia is a pop album that feels studied, like Lipa did her research of pop’s past as she made it. The result is an album that synthesizes several different sounds under her vision, one that is always trained ahead, and it simply slaps. In a perfect world, nearly every song on this album got spun off into a hit single. 

evermore by Taylor Swift: 2020 was already my year of listening to Taylor Swift, (I went through her whole discography, cultivated a favorites playlist, and at the end of the year I was in the top 2% of her yearly Spotify listeners.) evermore was a lovely cherry to top it all off. While folklore enchanted me with its stories, evermore captivated me with its melodies. I haven’t been able to get snippets of this album out. of. my. head. for weeks now. It’s a bit less consistent than it’s older sister, (and likely to live in its shadow,) but there is still so much to love. 

I’m Allergic to Dogs! by Remi Wolf: This EP is so much goddamn fun. It’s a blend of many different sounds, indie pop, electronic, maybe hip hop, I think reggae at points? It’s such a colorful, textured, quirky listen bristling with energy and undeniable hooks. “Woo!” conquered my Summer, and months later the bridge of “Photo ID” conquered TikTok. Keep your eye out for Remi Wolf in the coming year, she’s going to make a big splash. 

Good At Being Young by Charli Adams: Good At Being Young was the first EP this year that I could not get enough of. It drifts through dreamy indie-pop sounds, with melancholic guitars and cloudy synths, and Adams has a deep vocal timbre that delivers tales of adolescent tribulations with just the right amount of wistfulness. Overall, it builds the perfect soundscape for a late-night drive.

Cape God by Allie X: Allie X has been keeping us FED with content. It seems like only yesterday that Super Sunset came out, and yet her output remains impressively consistent. This album has impressive highs, some lower moments, but the danceability, duets, and enticing darkness under its shiny pop veneer make it a record you won’t want to skip. 

La vita nuova by Christine and The Queens: Perhaps the biggest flex of 2020 was Christine and The Queens dropping a fantastic EP and accompanying short film right out of the gate. The grooves on this are infectious, wiry, and air-tight, (the Caroline Polachek feature was another added bonus,) but that doesn’t mean there isn’t plenty of emotional weight too. 

Lighter by Donna Missal: This was one of my most anticipated albums of the year, and it’s hard to determine whether it disappointed or not. I think the only thing holding Lighter back is that This Time was such a formative album for me, (my favorite of 2018, to the uninitiated.) In fact, this album flows way better than This Time, more cohesive with its storytelling and more consistent in folk-rock sound. And, of course, Donna Missal’s vocals stun on both the bangers and the ballads. 

SURF by BLACKSTARKIDS: There was no record this year that was more instantly likeable than this one. The blend of low-fi indie pop and hip hop makes for a whirlwind of sunny fun and youthful malaise that would make the perfect soundtrack for a road trip to the beach. Standouts include the opening track “SOUNDS LIKE FUN,” the chill “WIGS,” and blissful title track “MUSIC TO SURF TO.”

The Baby by Samia: I’ve had my eye on Samia since “Milk” dropped years ago. Seeing her live sparked my belief that she was an indie darling in the making, and The Baby confirmed that she definitely was. The lyrics on this album mix quiet contemplation with just enough sardonic wit and raw emotion throughout a varied selection of sunny rock bops and gut wrenching ballads. If you enjoyed Punisher, then I can’t recommend this enough.

Season 2 by Nasty Cherry: Nasty Cherry is a group that I will not stop rooting for. Their EP from last year showed their potential for nailing monster hooks, but this sophomore effort shows just how versatile they can be. This EP covers everything from Dylan Brady produced hyperpop to early-2000s reminiscent pop rock to emotional balladry, and they pull it all off flawlessly. 

A Little Rhythm and a Wicked Feeling by Magdalena Bay: This album became a fast favorite way late in the year, there is such a sweetness to Magdalena Bay’s music that makes it stick in your brain like a piece of blue raspberry bubblegum. This EP is spacey, catchy, and filled with electronic synthpop mastery, with countless catchy hooks that’ll make you feel like drifting and dancing all at once.

Miss Anthropocene by Grimes: The bubblegum bombast of Art Angels fully redefined my taste in pop years ago, so I was fascinated to see how Grimes would follow it up. On Miss Anthropocene, she leans into darker, more industrial textures, but also anchors it back to Earth with acoustic touches and some of her most introspective lyrics to date. Grimes painted a version of a world on the brink of disaster on this album, a picture that was hypnotically beautiful. And in a year where the word was a certified disaster, that was strangely comforting.

Plastic Hearts by Miley Cyrus: I’ve been wanting Miley to go rock for so goddamn long, Plastic Hearts was bound to make this list by pure validation alone. But what can I say? This breed of glossy 80s rock suits Cyrus’s rougher voice so well! I hope she stays in this lane a bit longer, but as we know, she’s one of pop’s most chameleonic figures. Only time will tell. 

Where Does The Devil Hide by Zella Day: I have been patiently awaiting new Zella Day music ever since getting hooked on Kicker back in 2017, so this was one of my most anticipated releases of the year. This EP sounds nothing like Kicker, and I couldn’t be happier. It shows Day leaning even more into her influences from the past, (the 60s/70s vibes are intense with this one,) but also breathing a refreshing new life into them. 

SOUL LADY by Yukika: When I imagine the ideal of pop music, what it would sound like in a perfect world, this is what it sounds like. SOUL LADY is full of pristine, glossy production and catchy hooks that feel like they’ve come down from the clouds. I’ll admit that I can have trouble forming a connection with music when I don’t understand the lyrics, (it’s something I’m working on,) but this album cleared that hurdle with ease. If you’re curious about city pop or K-pop this is a great place to start. 

Heaven Is Without You by Love You Later: Give me lush pop production and heartbroken lyrics finished off with a heaping helping of nostalgia and I’ll eat it up with a spoon. Love You Later has been feeding my addiction to this genre for years, and this latest helping is particularly sweet. 

IN A DREAM by Troye Sivan: Troye Sivan has always supplied the bops, but it was about time that he started experimenting with his sound a little bit more. This EP offers some harder-hitting electronic textures, but also the addictive hooks that’ll keep you coming back for more.

Ungodly Hour by Chloe X Halle: These women are so TALENTED! If there is any word I’d use to describe this album it would be “effortless,” the harmonies, grooves, and chemistry between Chloe and Halle feels so natural and free-flowing. Charisma just rolls off of them in droves, I see full-blown stardom and several Grammys in their future.

Watching You by Robinson: This EP was one of the first on this list to arrive this year, and it still hits months later. Robinson’s confessional lyrics work wonders over the buoyant pop grooves, and “Don’t Say” remains one of the best pop songs of recent years. 

Manic by Halsey: I respect Halsey for dipping her toes into a myriad of different genres, (synth pop, rock, hip hop, and acoustic balladry,) but it does make for a jumbled listening experience. Still, I appreciate that this album features some of Halsey’s strongest tracks and writing to date, offering greater experimentation and emotional imtimacy than album’s past. 

We Don’t Stop by Aly & AJ: Should this count? It’s more a compilation of their past EP and singles... I don’t care, I’m counting it because there’s some new stuff too. This is an excellent display of Aly & AJ’s pop prowess in recent years, the hooks, vocal chemistry, and shimmery production are undeniable. 

Under My Influence by The Aces: The Aces returned in 2020 with a more laid-back, groovier record than their debut, exploring a wider variety of sounds. They’re as magnetic and likeable a group as ever, each member giving it their all, but I think I’ll return to the debut more often. 

Strangers/Lovers by Dagny: I’ve been anticipating a longer Dagny project, as she’s been drip-feeding us singles for a while now. This was a lot of fun, with Dagny pairing her upbeat earnestness with stories of romantic tribulation. While the hooks aren’t as memorable as her past offerings, there is still so much to enjoy. Lead single “Come Over” and “Let Me Cry” are my favorites.

DUALITY by Tatiana Hazel: I came across this via recommendation on Tik Tok and it’s a solid pop record! The music is swooning, synthy, and tinged with disco and Latin influence. The record doesn’t waste a second of its runtime, clocking in at less than half an hour and grooving the whole time.

After Hours by The Weeknd: The sonic palette of After Hours is so engaging, a neon-drenched blend of synthwave, electropop, and R&B. I’ve always felt lukewarm on The Weeknd’s musical persona of brooding, villainous party monster, so the strongest moments on this album tend to be when he subverts that in some way. Still, in full, this album is an undeniable force of smash hits, stadium-shaking ballads, and cinematic flair. I can’t wait for his Super Bowl performance. 

Petrol Bloom by LAUREL: It’s no secret that this year was chock-full of 80s revival albums (there’s what, five others on this list?) LAUREL wasn’t an artist I was expecting to go in that direction after the brooding folk pop of her debut album, but her deeper timbre works great alongside the synthy soundscapes. 

positions by Ariana Grande: I’ve just come to expect that nearly all of Ariana Grande’s albums are going to be growers to me. My first listen to positions was underwhelming, but the songs have grown on me more and more. This album feels like being let in on a giggly, fun slumber party with Grande and her friends. I wouldn’t call this her strongest album by far, and while I tend to prefer when she favors the more powerful parts of her range, (and her enunciations could still use some work,) there is a lot of good material here. 

THE ALBUM by BLACKPINK: We may just have to stan. I checked this out after watching their Netflix documentary, and while this breed of cacophonous, in-your-face electropop isn’t something I can listen to all the time, the hooks and charisma are undeniable. It certainly makes me feel like a bad bitch whenever I’m working out. 

Kid Krow by Conan Gray: Conan Gray burst onto my radar offering dreamy tracks rich with teen malaise and suburban restlessness, and a good amount of that initial appeal carries over onto this album. Kid Krow has both a larger instrumental scope and more stripped-back moments. In the end, it still feels like Gray is finding his voice as an artist, but he's giving up great bops to jam out to as he does.

Petals For Armor by Hayley Williams: Hayley Williams is one of my favorite vocalists, so seeing her venture out for a solo project was exciting. This album offers a mixed bag of danceable jams, emotive moments that showcase Williams’s powerful voice, and a few skips. But overall it showcases Williams’s strength as a performer as she tackles her past with vulnerability and versatility.

Apart by LÉON: Oh, man. This one was kind of disappointing. For context, LÉON’s self-titled debut was my favorite album of last year. This follow-up is by no means bad, but every song on her first album was instantly memorable. This one, not so much. LÉON’s vocals are beautiful, and there are some stand-out tracks, but I don’t see myself returning to this nearly as much. 

Blush by Maya Hawke: Maya Hawke’s Blush was to my 2020 what Tōth’s Practice Magic and Seek Professional Help When Necessary was to my 2019, (and that makes sense, as they’ve collaborated in the past.) This album is so blissful and nonchalant, and Maya Hawke has a gentle, soothing voice that feels wise beyond her years. While the writing isn’t as hard-hitting as, say, the Phoebe Bridgers album, sometimes I just want to listen to something that could rock me off into a dream world. If you like folksy, down-to-earth ballads, you’ve got a solid collection of them right here. 

Dedicated Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen: Of course Queen Carly would pull through with B-sides for Dedicated, did we expect anything less? Jepsen’s brand of controlled yet carefree shimmery poptimism drenched in 80s nostalgia that never fails to put me in a good mood. This album has some lusher, more tropical instrumentation than Dedicated proper, but works great alongside it.

Missing Person by Kelsy Karter: To the Plastic Hearts fans out there, your homework now is to give this record a listen. This rock album presents pop hooks, but a lot of reckless rock fun too. Kelsy Karter has so much irresistible swagger and carefree spirit as a performer, speeding through the emotional highs and lows like she’s burning rubber in a cherry red Cadillac. 

how i’m feeling now by Charli XCX: I’ll admit, this album was a bit abrasive to me on first listen. But tracks like “anthems” and “forever” made me return, and it’s a huge grower. If you listen closely, you’ll find the sugary-sweet hooks and relatable sentiments nestled deep in the crunchy hyperpop textures, begging to be discovered and eventually loved. 

Jaguar by Victoria Monét: If you enjoyed positions, then check out the debut from one of that album’s most prominent co-writers. Jaguar’s concise collection of silky R&B slow-burners show that Victoria Monet’s is a superstar in her own right. 

Some great albums I listened to that didn’t come out this year: Blue by Joni Mitchell, BLACKPINK IN YOUR AREA by BLACKPINK, I Need to Start a Garden by Haley Heynderickx, Plastic Beach by Gorillaz, Out in the Storm by Waxahatchee, 7 by Beach House, Dummy by Portishead, Lovers Fevers by Babygirl, and Red by Taylor Swift. 

Whether you liked, reblogged, or commented on a post, sent me an ask, or interacted with this blog in any way, thank you so much for all the support throughout the year! I can’t express how much I appreciate it. 

What were your favorite albums from this year? Did I miss anything? Send me an ask and let me know. I’ll tell you my thoughts, or put it on my to-listen-to list if I haven’t heard it. 

Here’s to 2021! May it clear the extremely low bar set by this year. 

[6480n]

[ID in alt text]

Just finished this art of my OC, Jira! He’s my main OC and sort of serves as my persona in many cases, so I’m super excited to be able to share this drawing. Since this is my first time posting him on this blog, I’m going to talk about his history and share a *bunch* of drawings under the cut (as well as WIP images from this drawing).

Text on his shorts says เสือทอง, or “golden tiger”, and he’s carrying bagged soymilk with tapioca, which is a common way to get soymilk in thailand!

The idea for this drawing is one I’ve had in my head for a few months, but wasn’t sure I’d be able to pull off since I don’t have a lot of practice with perspective shots. I sort of wanted to give him a “casually defiant” look, as well as taking the opportunity to design a fun outfit based around colorful muay thai shorts. Unlike myself, I envision Jira as someone who primarily wears shorts (often with an incongruous top like a long coat), so I love designing his outfits because of the unique balance shorts give.

[ID: Two sketches from previous stages of the first drawing, one being a rough full-body sketch and the other being a refined sketch from the torso-up. end ID]

(^ I like his face in this sketch better than the final, lol…) I’m super happy with how this drawing turned out, especially the coloring and shading. I normally have the instinct to put my shading and highlights on another layer (borne from years of drawing art for petsites…), but I painted all the colors and shading on one layer and I’m really happy with how it turned out. I also added some sort of clip studio filter which gave everything a slight amount of color variance, which looks really cool!

Now, about the character himself: I made this guy back in about 2016 when I was getting back into Animal Crossing for the second time. I needed a secondary character for storage, so I invented Jira (who at the time was named 6480 since that was the username I was starting to switch over to), and gave him a connection to my then-main character (plum/Clove, who I’ll post about later) by way of a sort of flirty friendship. I thought it would be cool if they were like, friends who had houses on opposite sides of the same river and waved to each other and ate breakfast together and held hands and like….. yeah 🥺

Jira is super important to me for a ton of reasons, mostly because he developed as I grew up and the transition I made towards using him as my persona instead of Clove represented a lot of changes in my life and my personality. As he developed and I needed to name him, I decided to make him Thai (he started out inadvertently white cause there was only one skintone in ACNL… cringe), which marked a point in time where I became more invested in my cultural background. When I made him a trans man, it represented that I had become more comfortable and proud of my transness. His personality, which was more casual and open than Clove’s, marked the change in my own personality and growth in confidence. And I was able to explore my own ideals of relationships through the one he had with Clove.

Now, it’s 2020 and my new Animal Crossing game has him as my main character and Clove (as well as a couple others) as my alternate! I’m super glad to be able to look back on this and mark the ways I’ve changed over the years, and it’s really interesting that both of my personas since 2014 have been because of the AC franchise.

Here’s some sketches (I haven’t actually made formalized art of him until now, except for one drawing as an anthro monkey which I will not be sharing rofl):

[ID: Digital reference sheet for Jira in Animal Crossing style, in various different poses. He has tan skin and light brown hair. Text on the image says: name: 6480 gender: [male symbol] birthday: Oct 17th personality: smug occuption: barista hobbies: fishing, cooking, model making style: basic/iconic best friend: Lopez end ID]

Section of a reference sheet I made for my four ACNL characters, set inside the universe of my AC island.

[ID: Black and white digital sketch of an Animal Crossing character. He’s wearing a long coat, black shorts, and a cow skull on his head. He’s surrounded by a bunch of small mushrooms and weeds, and he’s carrying some fishing poles in a bag. end ID]

Drawing of my ACNH outfit as it was in April (autumn on my southern hemisphere island)

[ID: Colored digital sketch of two Animal Crossing characters. They’re sleeping in neighboring futons. One has pale skin, short yellow hair, and a sunhat, while the other has light brown skin and short brown curly hair. end ID]

Drawing of my ACNH character and my best friend’s :-)

[ID: Black and white sketches of Jira with more realistic proportions. In one he’s wearing a very similar outfit as the first image in this post; in the other he’s wearing a raincoat, a cowboy hat, and shorts that almost reach the hem of the coat. end ID]

[ID: Colored bust sketch of Jira in an orange shirt. end ID]

Aaaaand I think that’s all the good art I have of him. I’m not expecting anyone to have read this far but uhm THANK YOU if you did… you’re my number 1 fan… Don’t judge what I said in this post too harshly, *so what* if I base my personality around a character that only exists in my own head? 😭 Anyways, have a great day, and thanks for reading my rambling!

[coppicefics]

Masked Omens: Week One

New chapter here, or read from the start here!

(Right click picture and select ‘View Image’ or ‘Open Image In New Tab’ for hi-res version.)

[Image Description: Image 1 - A simple rendition of the Masked Singer UK logo, a golden mask with colourful fragments flying off of it. The mask has a golden halo and a golden devil tail protruding from either side. Below, gold text reads 'Masked Omens'.

Image 2 - A newspaper page from the Capital Herald, dated Saturday, 26th December, 2020. Full image description and transcription below the cut.]

The Capital Herald, Saturday 26th December 2020 News, page 11

GODLEIGH MANOR RESTORATION SET TO BEGIN YouTube Community Comes To The Rescue Of Historic House In Unprecedented Donation Spree Restoration work on Godleigh Manor, Little Dyvyn, is set to proceed at last after years of stagnation – thanks to an unexpected influx of donations from interested members of the public. A house has stood on the site since at least the early 13th century, but most of the current building was constructed in the 18th century by its then owner, Lord Michael Godleigh. It remained a private residence until 1914, when it was commandeered as a military hospital for officers injured in the First World War. When the war was over, the officers went home, but the Godleigh family had suffered severe losses, and those who had been involved in treating the injured officers had many bad memories associated with the place. What was left of the family moved out, and – barring the operation of a second temporary hospital during the Second World War – this once-busy house has remained empty and silent ever since. Left to its own devices, the house began to crumble. Water found its way through the roof, and weeds forced their way up through the floor. By the time the deed to Godleigh Manor was passed on to its current owner, Lucy Godleigh, in the mid-1990s, barely a few rooms were anything close to habitable. “I set up in a mobile home on the grounds,” Godleigh told The Capital Herald, “and basically just started trying to secure the few rooms that hadn't been completely exposed to the elements. Then I contacted a restoration expert to find out what could be done for the rest of it.” The experts' verdict wasn't what she wanted to hear. “There was no chance I could pay for it myself. The rest of the family opposed me moving back here; I was on my own. And to get the whole place back to the way it was, we were looking at anything from fifty million to three hundred million pounds. I was going to need help raising the funds, so I started campaigning. But it was slow going. Nobody's keen to put their hands in their pockets to restore a stranger's old family pile.” And, for over two decades, it seemed that a pile would soon be all that was left. Godleigh moved into Little Dyvyn, and the property was abandoned once more to the tender mercies of the elements and the frequent trespassers who came to explore. “I'd go up a few times a week, but it hardly seemed worth it. I'd all but given up. But then one of those visitors saved the day.” A YouTube personality known as Sergeant Shadwell, famed for his urban exploration videos and the occasional paranormal investigation, contacted Godleigh to ask to film in the house. “I said yeah, whatever, do what you like, it's a mess,” Godleigh recalled, “and he saved it. He saved my home.” Shadwell uploaded a video of Godleigh Manor in the last week of November. In it, he speaks frankly about the challenges and benefits of preserving such old buildings. “I don't know about there being ghosts here,” he tells viewers, “but there's a lot of wasted potential. Stately homes like this can and should be used, and it'd be a real shame for this one to crumble. I'll add a link to the fundraiser in the video description.” The Wytchfynder Army, as Shadwell's fans call themselves, have so far contributed £80m to the Save Godleigh Manor campaign. The fundraising page is filled with messages of encouragement and support, attached to donations ranging from £5 to £1500. Some donors have even explained that they raised the money through sponsored swims, bake sales, and car washes. “It's enough to get started, to make a really good start,” Godleigh explained, “I can't thank him – all of them – enough. They really came together to help me – a complete stranger – and it means so much, it really does.” So what's next for Godleigh Manor? First, says Godleigh, the surviving rooms will need to be stablised. Then the house's ground floor will be restored to its former glory, and Godleigh hopes to work with local historians to ensure that it is both a functional and educational space. “I won't charge people any more to use it than I need to cover the cost of maintaining it,” Godleigh said. “How can I? It's being restored by this huge community; it belongs to the community, and to Little Dyvyn. It's going to be a great space for everyone to enjoy.” Work is now set to begin on the Godleigh Manor restoration project as early as April this year, depending on local planning committee approval of plans first drawn up in 1998. MARY HODGES. To find out more, or to contribute to the renovation costs, visit www.savegodleighmanor.org.uk.

[Image Description: A sepia photograph of a large, grand house. Inset, a colour photograph of a hole in a wall, through which weeds can be seen growing. End ID.] [Caption] NEGLECTED: Godleigh Manor, pictured above in 1980, was once the heart of a thriving community. Inset, weeds grow in what used to be a service corridor to the rear of the main building. (Photo: Annie Spratt on Unsplash. Inset: E. Diop on Unsplash.)

THE NEWS IN NUMBERS 800 years of a house on the site 300 years in its current form 23 generations in the same family 29 bedrooms 40 acres of land £50m lowest estimated renovation costs £300m highest estimated renovation costs 198k subscribers to Wytchfynder 291 Wytchfynder videos 10 years Sgt Shadwell served in the Army £80m raised by the Wytchfynder Army £91m renovation funds raised so far 15 years estimated to complete renovation

[Image Description: a rectangular ad with a picture of Dr. Raven Sable. His name is signed beneath his photograph. Text reads: Don't settle for a balanced diet when you can have a SABLE DIET. End ID.]

Corner Cuppa with Esther James

[ID: Photo of a young woman's face. She has black hair cut into a bob, and slightly gothic makeup. End ID.]

Why do we know you? I'm the captain of the Red Roses, which is the England Women's Rugby Team. What are you passionate about? Rugby! Also, my girlfriend Jane (Adams, also on the squad), and my charitable causes, of course. I support the NSPCC and the Albert Kennedy Trust, in particular - both fantastic charities helping young people who've been let down, in many cases, by the people they should most be able to rely on. I'm really glad to be involved with them. What's your favourite holiday of the year? Pride! I love getting dressed up and going to the parades – most of the time Jane and I get to march, these days, which is great. Last year we even got to ride on a float at one of them, which was really surreal – we got to cover ourselves in rainbow feather boas and just have a laugh waving at people. What a great time! What's been your proudest moment? So far, it's a tie between coming out as bi in a press conference – which was really scary at the time but which led to such good things and such good conversations – and being made captain of the Red Roses. It's an honour just to be selected for the national side, but to be chosen to lead from such a talented group of women is even better. I was walking on air for a week! If you could do anything in the world once, what would it be? Only once? I'd hate to do something and enjoy it and never get to do it again. But, OK, hypotherically... Something completely different and mad, like getting up on a stage and performing a song like I really mean it, or bungee-jumping. What scares you? Bungee-jumping! Which is exactly why I'd like to do it. I think it's good to get out of your own head and your own comfort zone and just do something that scares you, if you can. What's your ideal day? Taking a day off of training and just lying on the sofa watching films with Jane for the whole day. We love what we do, but we don't get a lot of downtime to just relax and snuggle. But then, when we do get a day off, it's usually at the same time, so that's lovely; we're always together and it hasn't started getting on our nerves yet! If you could go anywhere in the world right now, with no complications or restrictions, where would you go? I've always wanted to go to the Eiffel Tower, but somehow whenever I end up in France I don't find the time. Jane's never been to Disneyland, so I think we'd have to combine the two if we got a no-holds-barred trip somewhere. And, obviously, I wouldn't exactly hate getting to meet Mickey again! What's the best advice you've ever been given? My gran was as tough as old boots, and proud of it. She once sat me down, when I was quite young, and she said, “Essie,” which is what she called me, “Essie, you'll do all right in life if you remember this simple rule. Make sure you keep your nose clean, but don't be afraid to get your boots dirty.” I'm not sure she meant me to take it quite so literally! But I think what she meant was, don't get into trouble unnecessarily, but don't be so scared of getting it wrong that you can't do anything right. That's stuck with me, I've held onto it all these years, and I think it's a good motto to live by. What's one thing you wish someone had told you when you were younger? I wish they'd told me it was OK that I fancied girls, that things were getting better. I think we've still got a long way to go, as a community, but I never could have dreamed that a bisexual woman could captain England when I was a little girl. Let alone that it would be me! Finally, what's one thing you'd like to tell younger people now? Be true to yourself, be true to your friends, and be kind. I think the world will turn out fine if we all just try to be kind to one another, above all. Next week's cuppa: Ligur Mortice, head of the Ligur fashion house.

[End of page.]

[dramaticlester]

Miles of skin

summary: there’s so much dan loves, it’s hard to list it all

genre: fluff, 

warnings:swearing, sexual scenes (not too detailed), lots of body imagery

hair

When Dan was 18 and dreaming up his ideal partner, it never started with black, straight hair. It was usually blonde, maybe slightly ginger, and swept away from their face. his ideal man was a model. he thought of them stood on a beach, perhaps, their hair blowing in the wind. jaw strong and chiselled, Dan much smaller, nestled in their arms like a prize.

But Phil, he wasn’t like that. Phil had hair as black as anything, in a straight fringe across his forehead. he wasn’t a chiselled model, and he certainly wasn’t much taller than Dan. when he stood on the beach, he squinted and complained that his glasses were going to blow away, and took time to swipe his hair away from said glasses. Dan couldn’t stand nestled under his arm, more like the other way round. but Phil was special. As Dan got older, he realised that the perfect guy wasn’t perfect. His Phil wasn’t perfect, either. But he was the closest, he thinks, he could ever get. He didn’t want perfect, anymore, he wanted his Phil. His Phil with the stupid straight emo hair that, when he got older, started being pushed into a quiff. Phil looked sexy with a quiff.

eyes

Dan had never been one for beautiful eyes. he didn’t look into someone’s eyes and feel taken away by their colour, or shape, or size. when he was younger, he struggled to look into people’s eyes, anyway, preferring to cast his gaze between their eyebrows or down at the floor. he struggled to feel any connections and he certainly did not believe eyes could hold pain or happiness. he just didn’t believe it. he hated his own eyes, too. he hated their colour and the almond shape, his obnoxiously long eyelashes that curled into his eyes sometimes and hurt. but, then he met Phil.

it was when Dan saw a picture of Phil that he started to doubt his own intuition. you could go swimming in those eyes he thought. in fact, he commented it, right there on the very photo. the camera he used for YouTube did no justice. when they met, it was the first pair of eyes Dan could look straight into. the first pair he could see love brimming in, focused solely on him. Dan was elated. it was the first pair he saw the pain in, shown by shed tears as they hugged goodbye at the train station. it was the first he saw untainted happiness in when Dan agreed to move in with him after announcing he would be attending Manchester university. they were, undoubtedly, just eyes. but my god, they were the most beautiful pair Dan had ever seen. though, Phil.s favourite activity was to argue that Dan's were, in fact, the “most beautiful plus 1.”

lips

Dan always thought lips were just lips. he didn’t understand why he was so chapped, he didn’t understand why people got injections to plump them up, he didn’t understand at all. the only time he really concentrated on people’s lips was when he couldn’t be bothered listening to what they were saying, so he’d lip-read instead, albeit rather unsuccessfully. he never looked at someone and thought fuck, they should do something about that or wow I wish I could kiss them. well, until he met Phil, of course.

after he’d noticed Phil's eyes, his gaze wandered down to his lips. plump and inviting, pink and so smooth. Dan suddenly felt the need to apply five tubs of Vaseline. he stared at Phil’s lips the day they met, and not just to lip read. Phil didn’t really hint at much, but Dan saw how his lips curved into a smirk, obviously. they’d gotten on the Manchester eye, hands clasped between them. Dan thought he’d been subtle. Phil had bitten his lip, Dan had reciprocated without thinking. that’s when he was kissed. soft and gentle, unsure yet so passionately. it was wonderful, chapped against smooth. Dan reiterated his apologies for his chapped lips. Phil laughed and stroked his thumb along the bottom one, pulling it and watching it ping back into place. another gentle kiss. you’re perfect.

neck

Dan didn’t have a neck kink, he told himself, he just found it really fucking arousing when someone kissed his neck. or if he was indulging himself alone, or perhaps on Skype to Phil, he swiped his thumb along the side now and then, gasping at the spark of unadulterated pleasure. but he didn’t have a neck kink. Phil changed things for him, though.

the first time they made love was wonderful. Dan experienced things he’d never felt, just taking and taking from Phil's body, only able to emit the smallest gasps of love. Phil gave it all to him, never held back. he showed Dan what he’d been missing.

they were moulded together, one entity. Phil buried deep inside him, his head tugged into his neck as he whispered encouraging words. Dan’s eyes were squeezed shut, alleviating his senses most deliciously. that’s when Phil had whimpered against his neck, the blow of hot hair making Dan tip his head back and let out an almost scream. a quiet scream, no doubt. Phil had smirked, pulling back to look at Dan’s face (which was turning more crimson by the second.)

“you’re beautiful,” Phil had whispered, kissing the corner of Dan’s mouth before moving back to his neck. he started kissing at first, barely applying much pressure, revelling in the short intake of breath from Dan’s mouth. then he applied more pressure before he was nibbling at Dan’s neck, moving along until he found the place that made Dan tense up, letting out a shrill moan and a large breath of air. Phil kept at this spot, sucking and sucking until the mark bloomed up against the pale skin of Dan’s neck. 

Dan had come with a shout and then a whisper of Phil's name, Phil's mouth against his neck and his tip pressing against the most sensitive place inside of him. Dan vowed to never let anyone love him the way Phil did ever again.

shoulders

shoulders were never something Dan thought about. they usually resided underneath someone's clothes, occasionally flexing when the person lifted something or wrote. it was never anything special, nothing that made Dan want to strike up a conversation with a person or beg them to pin him down to a mattress. they were shoulders. 

when he met Phil, he noticed that Phil's shoulders were broad. they were the type of shoulders you would associate with a man, though stereotypical. when Dan hugged him for the first time, he allowed himself to notice the muscle under his shirt, allowing his hands to find a home on top of them when they pulled away, not-so-discretely squeezing. Phil was his boyfriend, his man. he was the one Dan cuddled up to, a hand placed over his heart, head bracketed between Phil's chin and his shoulders, loved and protected from the whole world. dan felt pretty damn undefeatable with his head nestled there. he was the one who let Dan throw his arms around his neck when he was happy or encased him when he cried or screamed. he was the one who used the strength within those shoulders and arms to carry Dan to bed when he fell asleep on the sofa. he was nothing less than the love of dance life and his shoulders, though minor, were strong. they were Dan’s favourite place to sleep and his favourite place to wake up. 

tummy

Phil always joked over messenger about actually having a dad bod hidden beneath the camera.

“id love you all the same,” Dan insisted every time, fondness twinkling in his eyes. Phil would smirk, leaning closer to the camera with his tongue caught between his teeth. Dan longed to be with him. 

when Dan saw the first full body picture of Phil, his jaw literally dropped. Phil was beautiful, Dan had known that even just from looking at his face, but seeing his whole body was something Dan kept locked in his mind all the time. Phil was hot. not just hot, but hot. he was something Dan would've never dreamed of because his mind wasn't capable of conjuring something so wonderful. Phil had sent it to him shyly, telling Dan to check his messages whilst they were on Skype. Dan had stared at the picture for too long, only remembering he was on a video call when he heard Phil cough. he looked up just in time to see Phil cast his eyes down, blushing and his lip pulled between his teeth.

“you're fucking beautiful, Phil Lester,” Dan had whimpered, tears in his eyes. “I want to be with you so bad right now.”

“what, you don't think I'm too fat, hm?” Phil had whispered. Dan suddenly realised all of his jokes, were actually issues. Dan had stared at the screen, not quite sure what to say, not quite sure how to articulate what a fucking masterpiece Phil Lester was.

“I say this with all the love I can muster,” Dan had said. “shut the fuck up.”

Phil had giggled, finally looking back at Dan.

“Phil, how’d I get so lucky?” Dan settled on, shaking his head in disbelief.

Phil had never needed to complain about his appearance after that, because every day, Dan told him he was beautiful.

to this day in 2020, Dan tells him he's beautiful. whether its when Dan wakes up first and watches Phil for a while before carding a hand through his hair and muttering a “you're pretty, Lester,” or whether it's after a shower when Phil's skin is dry and flaky, and he's squinting trying to see through the fog without his glasses (Dan will usually slip his glasses back on, kiss the tip of his nose, unravel the towel from around his waist, and drop to his knees. Phil doesn't need words at times like this.)

legs

growing up, Dan had always had little stumpy legs that kept him below shoulder height of everyone. people made jokes about how his little legs couldn’t keep up in the playground, or his mother would tell him his legs were too little to climb the trees, and the workers at the fair told him he could ride when he grew a few more inches. it was frustrating for Dan... well until he hit 14. it was as if overnight, he became a lanky 6-foot-something lad, who didn’t quite know how to control his long limbs, constantly carving his shin off the coffee table and walking into open doors because he couldn’t see them at eye level. Dan hated long legs. well... his own.

Phil was also 6-foot-something. if Dan thought he was tall when he met Phil he was the short one. he had to look up at Phil and when they hugged, Dan's head just about reached his shoulder. Dan loved to run his hands up and down Phil’s legs when they were lying together on the bed, Phil giggling and tugging at Dan’s fringe with a “get back up here.” Dan wasn’t sure what it was, but Phil’s legs set off some kind of primal, animalistic urge within him. he wanted to cover every inch with his lips, kiss and nip his shins till they were red, suck on his thighs and leave bruises that still wouldn’t be faded by the time he got back to Manchester. he loved to hang behind Phil so he could watch how his legs moved, long and lean as he took clumsy steps downstairs or long strides down the streets of London. he loved to watch Phil try to fold his legs up in the bathtub, insisting that they could both fit. even when Dan's legs length surpassed Phi’ls, he was never quite as mesmerised. Phil's favourite part of Dan's body was probably his thighs, as he spent most of his time caressing them and squeezing and kissing them, but Dan didn’t understand how he could love Dan's so much, but hate his own. it was something they could argue about though when they lay sated and naked, curled up together.

“I love your thighs,” Phil would mutter.

“Yeah, well, I love yours more,” Dan would grin, kissing the top of his head.

“in this essay, I will explain why yours are better...” Phil would joke. they never took it much further though, just silently knowing that they were right.

bum

Dan kind of understands this one. he wouldn’t date someone based off their ass, but it didn’t hurt to feel the appeal. Dan's own wasn’t too flat until he crammed it into his obnoxiously tight skinny jeans that pushed it down so much that it looked like nothing. he didn't mind though, anything for fashion. Phil would usually pout quite a bit though, pulling Dan forward by the belt loops and kissing him, trying to sneakily undo the button and tug them back down.

“looser ones,” Phil always murmured against Dan's lips, crossing his arms when Dan would roll his eyes at him.

“what do I do for you?” Dan would sigh dramatically, kicking them off and putting Phil's favourite pair on.

but Phil's ass was perfect. it was impossible to crush as, even when he’d wear a pair of Dan's jeans, it was still there. Dan usually always slapped his ass when he bent over as a joke, giggling as Phil would jump and whine “Dan!” Dan couldn’t help it though.

when they kissed, his hands usually started on the small of Phil’s back. ever since he’d grown, Phil’s go to was to stand on tippy toes so he could reach around Dan's neck, insisting it brought them closer together when Dan would complain that his back hurt. he was only joking really though, as this way, when it got heated, Dan could move his hands down over the curve of Phil's ass, pulling him closer to press flush against each other, or even grind their bodies together if things got especially heated. it was just a wonderful part of Phil that Dan loved so much (especially whenever he was big spoon at night time and he could feel it pushed up against his body)

everything

Before they met, Dan never appreciated the beauty of the human body. with Phil, he appreciated it. because contained within that body, was the most beautiful soul, the funniest personality and the most gentle, loving giant he’d ever known. It was the perfect body for Dan’s favourite person in the whole world. He wouldn’t change a thing about it, ever. from his brilliant blue eyes down to the tips of his toes, Phil was beautiful, inside and out. 

and Dan never tried to stop himself from falling deeper in love every day..

[dustedmagazine]

Various Artists — Soft Touch Express Vols. 1-3 (Trax Only)

Soft Touch Express Vol. 1 by Trax Only

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: When the pandemic settled in and quarantine kept everyone home, New Orleans-based party promoters Trax Only were left with a lot of time in the space where DJing and socializing might’ve been. The collective — Kathi Kniess, Brett Labauve (Bouffant Bouffant) and Mark Louque (Father Figure/FFigure) — were caught in the anxious state of energy without direction, creativity in fits and bursts but nowhere to put it. There was a lot of napping. 

But as 2020 went on, the idea of a compilation slowly, intriguingly came together. Now, with the release of three mini-albums in March and the delivery of a 90-page risograph-printed zine to accompany them, Trax Only has not just a musical manifesto for its wild nights out, it has a snapshot of dance music’s stalled months, too.

As Kniess says in the zine’s final pages, “the quarantine had a silver lining: There was more time to focus on production. Why not provide a digital platform for this output and bring along other queer producers we love and admire?” After six years of promoting dance nights featuring a mix of names passing through — I recognized Egyptian Lover, Horse Meat Disco, Octo Octa and Rayna Russom at a quick glance of the thank yous at the back of the zine — that took cues from the cities they loved (New York, Berlin, Chicago, San Francisco, etc.) and incorporated them with their own homespun party-making mentality, they now had a chance to give back. 

And how they’ve delivered. Trax Only may be based in New Orleans, but as these compilations show, its reach extends far beyond the bayou: Of the 21 producers featured across these three volumes, only five are based in the Big Easy. There’s representation from locales near (Atlanta, Memphis) and far (Los Angeles, Portland, New York, Berlin), and the ground covered isn’t just in where perspectives or where the musicians are from, either: The sonic territory slowly blooms as you listen through each volume. 

The music centers itself with house in the restrained future cruisin’ of Ruth Mascelli, Olive T, Jacob Meehan, DJ NSA and a deep house queens’ anthem from Love Letters, but it also covers a great deal of ground beyond that broad umbrella. Shaun J. Wright’s “I Pray How My Ancestors Prayed” is an ideal opener for what’s ahead and could easily be envisioned as the opener to any set, a stripped back, drums-forward number with just the barest hint of keyboard and a tense vocal intoning the title. Sappho and Jon Damon Boucher’s “I Want You” is an early highlight, its chorus airing out over a swooning harmony and a surprisingly busy percussive clattering that, once you hear, you can’t take your ears off trying to pick it apart. Bouffant Bouffant’s “Night Blue” is another, featuring piano and what sounds like bongos and a dubbed out melodica. 

Sfireman’s “All Right” that closes out Vol. 1 is one of the set’s more interesting sonic outliers, a 16-bit videogame soundtrack clocking in at less than three and a half minutes that makes for the shortest track here. But it opens things up a bit for the second and third volumes, which feature the malfunctioning robotics of FFigure’s “Self Checkout,” Marceaux Marceaux aka z72.52’s appropriately named light breaks throwback “Time Warp,” the acid of Juana’s “1E Strategy” and Ephemera’s cosmic wandering “Lava Lava.” Indeed, Vol. 3 might be the most eclectic and hard-hitting of the bunch, peak-hours energy exuded by Bézier’s jacking “Vocalise,” the dark techno thumper from Ariel Zetina on “Security Theatre,” the outright fastest bpm of the bunch on Jasmine Infiniti’s “iono” (so fast that the track can’t seem to stop itself, truncating abruptly at the finish), and the sample-happy (Flava Flav most prominent among them)  “People in the House” from Good Xtreme to close. 

Credit is due in part here to the mastering done by Lucia Martinez aka DJ Saskia, a producer in their own right who’s helped forge a coherent vision for the label and, as an added bonus, offers suggestions for a home studio starter kit. Though she has no tracks present on these volumes, their deft touch behind the boards is evident and each track comes through clearly. 

The Soft Touch Express volumes are a cogent representation of club culture’s frustrated id. The biographies, interviews and essays are engaging and enlightening, but there’s no mistaking what’s absent, that raw ache, that irrefutable yearning for the soft touch of another, that desire to commune in what is still one of humanity’s few remaining egalitarian spaces: the dancefloor. Humans funking together is what this stuff is all about, and say what you will about its effectiveness as a motivator for dishwashing, there’s no denying where it belongs — and what’s absent in these songs and across the pages of this zine is, well, us. At the precipice of a possible return later this year, Trax Only has gifted us a moment of reflection, what it means to care about partying and what a better world might sound like amid the sweat and smoke when our bodies finally, gratefully return to one another. 

Patrick Masterson

[teawiththespleen]

tagged by @evergardenwall

Name : idk call me J 

Pronouns : she/her

Star sign : taurus

Height : 171 cm / 5’7.5”

Birthday : May 11th

Fave band/group : ABBA

Fave solo artist : Avi Kaplan for now. it changes but i circle back to the same few artists lol

Song stuck in your head : Lemon Tree and the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack

Last movie you watched : Promising Young Woman (2020)

Last show : Dickinson (season 2)

When you created this blog : idk 2016 i think

Last thing you googled : Dickinson cast

Other blogs: @bony-gastropod , @stripeytees (for movie/tv show recs and cross stitch patterns)

How many are you following : 452

How many followers do you have : 55 on main, and 26 on bony

Hours of sleep : ideally 7.5, but lately it’s been 5 or 6 hours

Lucky number : ...idk

Instruments : i had a kazoo once lmao

What are you currently wearing : loose black full sleeved shirt and black gym shorts

Dream job : idk man i just want a nice house with a vegetable patch and 2 cats. my career is a means to that end

Dream trip : I wanna visit the north eastern Indian states so badly

Fave food : cant pick one but right now it’s biryani

Nationality : indian

Top three fictional universes you’d like to live in : id love to live like a Hobbit, Pixie Hollow, Lyra’s universe in His Dark Materials

Tagging : @shallowsatire, @chai-wali-bai, @a-longing-for-life

[shinjiroraragaki]

I’m very pissed right now. Back in March 2020 I bought some figures from japan that then got returned to the seller in April 2020 when SAL shipping was cancelled (the figures were bought end of March and got stuck at the airport during covid delays and by the time it got to be their turn the shipping method I had paid for was cancelled), so I got a message from the seller explaining that they had gotten the figures back, and did they want me to hold or re ship them (and that reshipping could take up to 6 months for them to deliver ).

I wanted them shipped but never really heard much back (this is a seller I would use all the time so I felt comfortable with them), and eventually in September (there were a couple messages between then) I messaged like “hey still don’t have them, did you guys for sure ship them back out, or do you still have them?” Since I’d only been getting vague answers recently. Basically by October I was told “you had the cheap shipping option so no tracking, you just have to wait. We’ll let you know if we get them back”, and I heard nothing since then.

Just checked their account today and my figures are back up for sale :)))) I know they’re mine since they’re uncommon figures, both popped up at the same time, and one of them literally has the exact same damage to the face that the one I ordered did. I can also tell they aren’t just using the same photos for new versions they got in since why would you use damaged pics of non damaged items, and the angle the figures are posed at is different from my listing.

I had already given up and considered my $30 and figures lost at that point, but seeing them pop back up has pissed me off. The seller now has both my money, and the figures (that are selling again). I sent them a message with screenshots of some of our shared messages and also my order vs what they have posted (with the identical damages circled) asking if these are the figures that I still have yet to receive.... (which they are).

I’m waiting to hear back from them now. My ideal situation would be they fuckin send me my figures, but I would also just take my $30 back and not get the figures. I’m not going to ask both my money and the figures back since I do hopefully plan on using this seller again (id been using them for 4 years at this point now) and I’m hoping this was just a combination of new pandemic situation that everyone suddenly had to figure out how to cope with, as well as language barrier, and not just them purposely screwing me over.

[overthinkingkdrama]

Jona’s Top 10 Dramas of 2019

A couple words about how I do these lists. Firstly, I only count as “2019 dramas” shows that finished airing in 2019, therefore dramas that started airing in 2018 but finished in the early months of 2019 have been included in my process, but dramas that are currently airing and will finish in 2020 have not been included. Secondly, this list is more based on my subjective experience with each of these dramas than my objective assessment on things like acting, writing and production values, though naturally I take the latter into account when forming my opinions.

Also: Yay! This year I managed to write a full review on every drama that wound up in my top ten, so feel free to click the link on each title and check those out if you want to read my detailed thoughts.

10. Hotel Del Luna

I have a somewhat Stockholm Syndrome-y relationship with Hong Sisters dramas. Though a lot of them are not excellent, or stumble a bit in the execution, I can’t seem to stop watching them. And yes, I’ve seen them all. Something about their particular blend of fantasy, romance and camp just works for me. I do think Hotel Del Luna plays to their strengths. Somewhat like if they got to take a second run at Master’s Sun but with their dream budget, and it’s just fun. This drama is gorgeous to look at. However, it is Lee Ji Eun, aka IU, who carries the entire drama on her lovely shoulders with her mesmerizing presence as Jang Man Wol.

Bottom Line: It shouldn’t be this way, but it’s so rare to get a mainstream drama where the female lead is allowed to be truly dark and flawed, or for a drama to fully focus on its heroine’s journey through the whole run.

9. Encounter

I was somewhat disappointed by the ending of this drama, and I think that might have made me unduly harsh when I looked back at it earlier in the year. However, I got the chance to rewatch episodes with a friend and was reminded of the soft, romantic escapism of this drama. Ultimately that’s the reason this ended up in the list. I like that it plays the rich woman/poor man, noona-romance tropes entirely straight and I liked the quixotic fairy tale it was unapologetically trying to sell me. Park Bo Gum and Song Hye Gyo are a noona-romance dream team up that I’m glad I got to see at least once in my lifetime.

Bottom Line: If you don’t like your dramas slow-paced and highly sentimental then this might not be the show for you, but I can appreciate a drama that knows exactly what kind of show it is and tries to do one thing well.

8. The Light in Your Eyes

If there’s any common theme to these favorites lists in previous years, it’s that they usually include dramas that took me by surprise and did something I haven’t seen before. The Light In Your Eyes fits that description so well, not just because of oddly dark tone or the quirky premise it presents in the first episodes, but because it’s a drama dedicated to showcasing the talents of the veteran actress, Kim Hye Ja, with whom the lead character shares a name. Of the dramas on the list this one made me cry the hardest.

Bottom Line: The Light In Your Eyes is a drama that has a greater emotional coherence than it does logical sense. In fact, if you think about the plot too hard it falls apart entirely. But it feels true, and that’s why it hit me so hard.

7. Search WWW

In my review I called Search a “female power fantasy” and I still think that’s a good description. It’s also sexy romantic fantasy, twice a noona romance, and a corporate drama focused on the very contemporary issues of powerful search engine companies and how they affect the information we see and the way we view the world. I think any of those is an interesting enough angle to make a drama about, maybe several dramas. If this show has one major flaw, it might be trying to wear too many hats at once. But I salute the creators for trying to make us something different than the typical pretty boy chaebol story, and giving us not one but three female characters filling those typically male roles.

Bottom Line: I do believe this drama deserves more love and respect than it got from a fandom that at least in theory cares about women’s stories. But I also understand why a lot of people didn’t connect with the lead character or the business stuff. But for me there was something about the lead couple that rang true and resonated with me.

6. WATCHER

Every time I watch a thriller, I’m hoping for something like WATCHER. Something with deep, complex, gray characters and a story full of twists and turns that keeps me engaged and guessing from episode one until the finale. Add on top of that a powerful cast who can really do justice to these substantial characters, you’ve got a winning recipe. OCN produces a lot of dramas in this genre, and they seem to be more prone to produce sequels than most other networks. Unfortunately, that also means a lot of the dramas they make feel paint-by-numbers and empty on the inside. WATCHER is one of those shows that reminds me why I keep coming back to this network and this kind of story time and again.

Bottom Line: This is one of those dramas that has you second guessing yourself even when they come right out and give you the answer, keeping you in a perpetual state of distrust along with the characters. But it’s built on the strong backbone of complicated and dynamic character relationships, which is why it is one of this year’s best.

5. Be Melodramatic

The higher I get up this list the harder time I have boiling down my thoughts on these dramas to one pithy paragraph. Often even I don’t know what kind of dramas are going to steal my heart. I have a particular weakness for dramas that can make me both laugh and cry, and then laugh through the tears. Dramas like Go Back Couple and Matrimonial Chaos that have deep heartache folded into the shenanigans. I love a funny drama. I like to laugh, but that doesn’t count for much unless I really care about the characters and their lives at the end of the day. That’s what makes me go from liking a drama to loving it, and that’s ultimately what I’m going to remember about a drama when it’s over. Be Melodramatic is special for the way it deals with heavy subjects in a gentle and lighthearted way, and somehow without losing the emotional impact.

Bottom Line: Be Melodramatic is a drama with tongue firmly planted in cheek, lots of laughs, lots of clever dialogue as well as a meta look at the drama industry from the inside, but the reason it works so well is the vein of heart, love and loss that runs all through the story.

4. One Spring Night

It’s so gratifying when a drama delivers exactly the experience you hoped it would. One Spring Night was a drama that ended up on my radar on the strength of the previews and posters, which promised me understated, romantic slice-of-life. I’d really enjoyed Han Ji Min in The Light in Your Eyes and have been fond of Jung Hae In since While You Were Sleeping. The pairing immediately seemed to have potential, but because the drama was picked up by Netflix, in the US I had to wait until it finished airing before I could give it a shot. A lot of the time when that happens, I see enough of the drama through gifs and screencaps that my interest fades. In this case I was only more intrigued. I’ve still never watched Something In The Rain but watching this drama has made me consider that might have been an oversight on my part. And yet I worry that if I watched it now I wouldn’t be able to help unfavorably comparing it to One Spring Night. This drama is truly something special.

Bottom Line: Because of the restrained, faithful realism of this drama and the two leads who seamlessly embody their characters, this drama has the almost voyeuristic quality of peeking into something intimate and private. It’s a palpable and thoroughly involving love story.

3. Nokdu Flower

I can hardly recommend this underrated gem of a show enough. I know nearly every historical gets compared either favorably or otherwise to Six Flying Dragons, which is kind of the recent high-water mark of sageuks, and I’m going to do that again here because Nokdu Flower is really the first historical drama I’ve watched since SFD that is at the same level of quality. One thing that sticks out about my experience watching both dramas is getting actual shivers watching these charismatic leaders rally their followers around them, and understanding at least in some small part why someone would leave behind everything they knew, pick up arms, and risk their lives for an ideal. Nokdu Flower captures the fearful power of revolutionary ideas in the hands of common people, but doesn’t descend into mere jingoism or sand off the rough edges or try to white wash the dark parts of human nature while it’s at it.

Bottom Line: At its most basic level Nokdu Flower is a story of revolution, and one of flawed characters either finding their humanity or having it burned out of them in the crucible of war. As that description would suggest it’s not an easy watch, but it’s a good and worthwhile one and definitely one any sageuk fan should check out.

2. My Country: The New Age

Compared to the far more traditional and grounded Nokdu Flower, My Country is almost fantastical in tone and at times eschews logic and realism for set pieces, sword fights and close range shotgun blasts of pathos. That’s probably why I love it. The larger-than-life sensationalism of this drama is what pushes it higher on this list than the carefully crafted Nokdu Flower, because this drama appealed to me on a more primal way. It’s so unrestrained and epic in everything from the set design, the soundtrack, the cinematography to the characters themselves and the performances of the actors playing them. Lurid, melodramatic, passionate, intense, suspenseful, romantic, raw, angsty, dark...I’ve basically run out of new adjectives to use while describing this drama elsewhere on this site. Basically, My Country is my id on a plate. Bon appetit.

Bottom Line: While there are definitely misguided and flawed elements to the writing and execution in this drama, somehow all of that is swept away in the sheer pleasure of watching it. If it had been specifically designed to appeal to every narrative kink I have, they couldn’t have made a more perfect drama for my tastes.

1. Children of Nobody

I finished my favorite drama of 2019 back in January, and then got to wait around 11 and a half months to see if anything else I watched last year would knock Children of Nobody from the top spot. It’s a mixed blessing to peak that early in the year. On the one hand, there was nowhere to go but down from here. On the other, I’ve had a lot of time to digest this very heavy show, which is something I definitely needed. I mentioned in my original review of this drama that each of the characters is an iceberg, so much more going on beneath the surface than what we can see. And what I’ve realized over the course of the past year is that the whole drama is like that, in a way. It’s an iceberg of a story, and I was able to pour a lot of myself into it, to try to understand it, and that’s part of the reason it was such an emotional watch for me. I don’t know when or if I’m going to be able to rewatch Children of Nobody, but I hope I can do it some day because I feel certain I would appreciate it even more upon a second viewing.  The fact that this is a murder mystery and a thriller is almost incidental to the emotional core of the story, which is deeper and more lingering than that. The secrets, once revealed, do not diminish the story but only turn it slightly so that you can see it from a different angle.

Bottom Line: This drama is certainly not going to be for everyone. I don’t know if I would say it was underrated so much as it’s niche. The difficult subject matter is naturally going to narrow its appeal. But I do think that dramas that require the most from me, mentally and emotionally, are often the ones that stick with me the longest and make me bend and grow as a person.

I sure hope you’ve enjoyed my top 10 list this year and I wish you joy, success and profound wellbeing in 2020. Thank you again--and thank you always--for following me. I’ve got great things planned for us this year.

Jona