#ideal ideal world she and sam kiss

[illusioninfnty]

five minutes ↠ day 3 ; quickie

↠ sam giddings x reader

fandom: until dawn word count: 1.1k warnings: nsfw 18+, fem!reader, dom!reader, "Tex" as reader's nickname, physical descriptions of reader (tall, muscular), cunnilingus, fingering, praise

kinktober m.list || read on ao3 || takes place in the same universe as and before the events of outlast

You loved your friends dearly, but it was almost impossible to get some quality time with just your girlfriend when they were around.

Your group’s annual trip to the Washington’s cabin during winter break was, yes, a time to spend with each other and away from the stress of the real world, but it doubled as a fun little vacation for you and your girlfriend.

Everyone was hanging out in the living room, eating snacks and debating what you guys were going to do for the rest of the night when Sam stands up.

“I’m going to go take a quick bath,” she says, wiping her hands on a napkin and taking a final swig on her drink before handing it to you.

“Ugh, seriously?” Jess whines. “I wanted to go in there!” You rolled your eyes, seeing as Jess clearly did not up until Sam announced it. Her bottle of beer was almost empty, and her hand was still stuffed into a bowl of popcorn.

Sam sighs, wringing her hands. “I'll be five minutes, tops. Won’t even notice that I left.”

Jess groans as she turns back to whatever conversation she was having with Emily. Sam disappears upstairs, and you know this may be your only chance to have uninterrupted one-on-one time with your girlfriend.

You wrap your mind trying to find an ideal lie to tell to the group to sneak away and join Sam. “I’m going to go see if she grabbed a towel.”

No one seems to mind you except for Mike gives you a knowing stare, raising an eyebrow as if to say really? You send a glare his way and hold up a middle finger to him behind your back. You can hear his muffled laughter as you turn to follow Sam.

You slip into the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind you. Sam had been taking off her clothes, her shirt already discarded to the side and her hands fumbling with the bra hooks.

She gasps and spins when the door slams, her body tensing up. But she immediately relaxes and strides over to slap your shoulder.

“Tex!” Sam hisses. “I told Jess I’d only be—”

“Five minutes. I was right there, you know.” You start to slowly unbutton her shorts, sinking to your knees in front of her. “I can do a lot in five minutes.”

You seat Sam down on the edge of the tub as you fully remove her shorts, leggings and underwear. You start teasing her, marking kisses on her inner thighs as you move your way up to her pussy. She lets out a shaky sigh, gripping the edge of the cool, white, tub.

Sam is already starting to get wet, her insides glistening as you move to eat her out. You swirl your tongue all around, making sure to pay attention to her clit. “Oh fuck,” she moans out as you glue yourself to her pussy. Her hands find your hair and she tugs, anchoring herself as she arches herself into you.

You can feel her wetness all around your mouth as you pull back, licking your lips. You only had five minutes, so you knew you needed to move quickly.

“Get in the tub,” you instruct as you begin to take off your own clothes. 

Sam complies eagerly, swiveling her hips and submerging herself in the water that she previously drew. You join her moments later, straddling her as you kiss her, cupping her face with your hands.

She moans into the kiss, and runs her own hands up your chest, teasing your breasts. She squeezes them, ghosting her thumbs over your nipples. Goosebumps begin to cover your skin and a shock is sent down your spine.

You press your body to hers, grabbing her hips to grind yourselves together. You move a hand down her stomach pressing a finger over her clit. Sam gasps at the sensation, allowing you the opportunity to move your tongue into her mouth. The kiss you share becomes sloppy, saliva escaping and rolling down your chin. Sam pulls away, a string connecting the two of you. 

“Are you only going to kiss me or what?” She remarks teasingly, panting slightly from the intensity of your makeout.

You laugh, and at the same time move your hand to carefully insert two fingers, beginning to pump them in and out of her. “Baby, you know I’ve got more,” you reply. Water starts splashing all around you as you maneuver your fingers, some of it escaping the rim of the circular tub.

“Oh my god,” Sam whines. Her cheeks are flushed now, and her chest heaves as she catches her breath. “Fuck, that feels amazing.” 

Her hips subconsciously buck against your fingers as she chases more of you. You add a third, a yelp leaving Sam’s lips. You soothe her with another kiss and thumb at her clit while pumping your fingers in and out, curling them inside her walls.

“There you go. You’re being so good for me.” Sam whines at your praise and her head falls back. You can feel the way she clamps around your fingers, simultaneously clutching onto your arm. Her feet kick in the water from the pleasure.

Sam’s orgasm comes after a long build up, her moans becoming louder and you increasing in pace inside her. Her walls flutter against you, and even underneath the water you can feel her release coat your fingers.

You pepper kisses all over your girlfriend’s face as she begins to come down from her peak. You start to drain the tub and wipe it clean from any leftover evidence of yours and Sam’s short escapade.

A loud banging from the door startles the both of you. “Sam?” Jess’s voice rings from behind the door. “Come on, Sam! It’s been, like, a while!” 

The two of you stare at each other with wide eyes for a second before scrambling to dry off quickly and put your clothes back on.

“Just a minute!” Sam calls out, her voice strained from before. You’re able to get yourself looking presentable before your girlfriend and instead of trying to hide, you open the door just as Sam finishes buttoning up her shorts.

An annoyed Jess meets your gaze, who looked surprised to see you for a brief moment before annoyance passes across her face. “Seriously?” She crosses her arms and juts a hip out, glaring at you and then Sam, who pokes her head out from around you.

Sam looks a bit sheepish and apologetic, but you just roll your eyes. “The bathtub is clean. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

“God, you’re so annoying. Get a room!” Jess strides past you two into the bathroom.

You turn to her and smirk. “Don’t worry. We are.” You pull Sam along, rushing to your shared room to finish what you started.

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Fight Me, Love Me, Save Me Pt. 2

This will fill the Broken Promises square on my @jacklesversebingo card.

Summary: A series in three parts exploring Y/N's and Dean's relationship from bickering children, to love and broken promises, to a plea for salvation.

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Some light smut. Mostly just making out. Kissing, fondling, etc. Some angst, lots of fighting, cause it's them. Also brief scene involving threatening behavior from a creep. Nothing explicit.

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Y/N

Word Count: 4,398

A/N: So this series will fill the last three squares on my bingo card. This part covers "It's Mine, and you can't have it." Part two will cover Broken Promises, (Nov 12) and part three will be for the Isolated/Trapped square. (Nov 19)

I hope you enjoy!! If you do, please remember to like, reblog and/or comment. Means the world to us writers! ❤️

Read Part 1 Here

The dividers included here were created by @talesmaniac89

The first year of dating for Dean and Y/N was a rollercoaster. For the first month or so, they tiptoed around each other. They knew their relationship had obviously changed but they weren’t sure about the parameters of what it was now. So, they were both extra polite to each other, terrified that they were gonna ruin this new thing, and possibly everything that came before it. Y/N didn’t want to finally realize Dean was her best friend one day, only to lose him completely the next.

So they circled around each other, sniffing at the air for warning signs. Their first fight came about a month and a half in. 

They were living in Omaha, Nebraska for the time being. It was fairly centralized and their dads were using it as a bit of a home base for a while. Y/N was hoping she’d be lucky and they’d stay until she graduated so she wouldn’t have to change schools one more time. 

They were renting an apartment together, and it was a nice change from motels and life on the road, but the apartment was tiny. It was only a one bedroom, and they’d turned that bedroom into a kind of weapons/training room. So they all slept in cots on the floor in the living room. It wasn’t ideal, but it still felt more like a home than a motel did.

One evening, Y/N was studying late at the library, determined to graduate on time and with a good GPA, regardless of her constantly revolving education. So, she’d deserted the noisy apartment and headed for some peace and quiet. John and her dad had been arguing about an old hunt, and Sam and Dean had discovered a bunch of old board games, deserted in the hallway closet. They’d found Jenga and had started out playing the game as it was intended to be played, which was loud enough. But it quickly devolved into them simply smashing down everything the other one built and then fighting about it.

She’d called out her intention to go to the library a few blocks down, and had been greeted by four male grunts in response. 

Sometimes being the only female of the group was frustrating. 

After a couple of hours at the library, Y/N was satisfied she had a handle on her history essay, and packed up to leave. As she put her things into her backpack, she noticed an older guy, maybe in his early fifties, in a hoodie and heavy canvas jacket watching her. It was slightly unnerving, but she just added him to the list of pervy dudes she’d encountered in her life, and left the library. 

As she walked outside she saw that it had begun snowing, and it was much darker than she’d expected; she still wasn’t used to the darker days of early winter. As she walked, she pulled her thin, inadequate jacket tighter, and crossed her arms. There was something a little eerie, about the gray-black sky and the snow-muffled sounds around her.

She picked up her pace.

When she was about a block away from home, she heard the snow crunch behind her and suddenly the pervy guy was standing beside her. She jumped and yelped and the guy just laughed.

“Didn’t mean to startle you, honey. You should be careful wandering off places on your own though.” He grinned yellow teeth at her. “Someone as pretty as you could give folks ideas.”

Her fear of this man angered her and her ornery nature spoke before she could think better of it. “Oh really,” she scoffed, “and just what would those ‘folks’ be thinking?”

He didn’t like her attitude, and he scowled. His voice was low and definitely threatening as he leaned closer to her, invading her personal space and making her curl her lip in disgust.

“They could be thinking you were out here alone, lookin’ for trouble. Maybe hintin’ to folks you’re after a good time.”

Y/N felt her heart start to race as the silence and alone-ness of her situation hit her and she realized just how vulnerable she was. She started running through all of her training, just where to kick, just what vulnerable spots to target.

But thankfully, after one more lingering scan of her body, the man decided to move on, leaving her shivering, but not even noticing the cold anymore.

She double-timed it back to the apartment and ran through the door, locking it quickly behind herself. She jumped when Dean spoke.

“There you are.” He said as he approached. When she jumped and spun to face him, he held his hands up in a sign of surrender. “Whoa, easy there sweetheart.” 

He saw her fear and quickly closed the distance between them, grabbing hold of her upper arms. “What happened?”

Y/N shook her head, feeling silly now for letting one old creepy guy scare her so badly. “No, nothing.” She said, looking around at the empty room. “Where is everyone else?”

Dean waved a hand dismissively. “They just left on a burger run. But it’s clearly not nothing. You flew in here like a bat outta hell, and you’re terrified.” He said with a frown. 

Y/N stepped out his hands and shook her head again. “Seriously, it’s fine.” When Dean just folded his arms and continued to stare at her, she shrugged. “Look, it wasn’t anything, okay? Just - a creepy guy got a little close and gave me the jeebs, okay?”

Predictably Dean’s jaw tensed and he immediately reached for his jacket. “What does he look like?” He said as he shrugged it on. Y/N marched up to him and yanked the jacket back down his arms. 

“You are not going out there after him.” Dean wrestled his jacket away from her and started putting it back on. “Dean, listen to me. What the hell is the plan here? Even if you could find him, which you won’t, what are you going to say to him?”

Dean scowled down at her. “I’m not gonna SAY anything. I think a bloody nose will speak volumes.”

Y/N rushed to stand between him and the door. “Don’t be ridiculous. He didn’t do anything to me.”

Dean scoffed. “You came in here terrified, Y/N. Now that doesn’t happen because of nothing.”

Y/N shook her head. “Look, it was just stupid of me okay? I panicked. He was just being gross, and he said that…” She waved away the memory of his predatory look. “I overreacted.”

Dean’s voice was dark and deadly. “Bullshit. You don’t overreact about stuff like this. This guy was obviously trash.” When Y/N shrugged her acquiescence, Dean sighed and then frowned at her again. “What the hell were you doing walking around in the dark, alone, anyway? What were you thinking? You should’ve called me to come pick you up.”

Y/N felt her hackles rise at his scolding tone. “I didn’t need you to pick me up, it’s like four blocks away.”

“Well, obviously you did, because some creep came after you.”

Y/N gritted her teeth. “And that’s my fault now?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “I’m not saying it’s your fault the guy’s a creep, but you should’ve known better than to walk home alone in the dark.”

“Screw you, Winchester!” Y/N exploded, all her pent up fear and adrenaline rushing forth. “I should be able to walk four fucking blocks without some disgusting mouth breather thinking he can come after me, thinking he has the right to…to…and then to tell me ‘people were gonna get ideas’ about me? Is that what this is, Dean? Does me having the audacity to walk four blocks without a goddamn escort make you believe I’m game for anything? That it must mean I wanna be thrown down for a roll in the snow?”

She was breathing hard, her cheeks flushed. Tears started to fall and she dashed them away instantly. Nothing frustrated her more than the fact that anger and fury made her cry.

Dean was staring at her, looking a little shell-shocked. She stomped past him and slammed herself into the bathroom. She didn’t come out until she heard everyone else get back. She and Dean didn’t talk over supper; if anyone noticed their silence, they never mentioned it.

Hours later Y/N was laying in the dark listening to the men around her snoring and she sighed and stood up, walking carefully through the narrow path of cots. She threw on her jacket and shoes and stepped outside. She needed fresh air.

She wasn’t outside very long when Dean stepped outside to join her. He didn’t say anything, just breathed into his hands in an attempt to warm them up.

Y/N shot a look his way. “You out here to make sure I have a suitable chaperone?”

Dean sighed and then reached for her hand; she let him take it. He nodded his head sideways. “Come on, let’s warm up.” He tugged her towards the Impala and she followed.

Dean slipped into the front seat to turn on the car, running the heater and putting the radio on low, but then he climbed into the back seat, beckoning Y/N to join him. She slid into the seat, but sat apart from him, slightly rigid. She felt awkward and unsure. They’d fought - what happened now?

Dean was silent for a while too, until he finally let out a little puff of air and a laugh, shaking his head.

Y/N looked at him warily. “What’s so funny?”

Dean shrugged, and shot her a heart melting smile. “I’ve never apologized to you after fighting with you, I kind of don’t know how. In the past we never apologized for pissing each other off, we just scowled at each other for a few hours and then got burgers.”

Y/N couldn’t help a small smile. “I mean, I could eat.”

Dean laughed again, and pulled her close to him as the tension between them dissolved away. “I really am sorry though, sweetheart. I never meant to make it seem like I thought it was your fault some jackass acted like a pig towards you. I just…” He hesitated before continuing. “Well, I panicked a bit at the idea of you being alone and vulnerable. But, you’re right, doesn’t mean you need a bodyguard. Hell, I know you could have kicked his ass.”

Y/N smiled up at him, but her voice was a little shaky. “Maybe, but you’re right too. In that moment I felt really vulnerable. In spite of all my training, in spite of everything, he really scared me.” She snuggled herself deeper into Dean’s side and he held her tighter. “And that made me really angry, which I sort of took out on you. Sorry.”

Dean shrugged, jostling her slightly. “Nah, I deserved it.”

She climbed into his lap and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her cheek against his warm chest. They stayed like that for a long time, just savoring the happiness of making it through their first fight intact. They didn’t realize (but probably should have) that it was going to be the first fight of many.

Both Y/N and Dean were incredibly stubborn, with quick tempers, and strong emotions. That often led to arguments, which sometimes led to all out fights.

One of the things they fought about was what Y/N was going to do after she graduated. She was up in the air about her next move, and Dean was horrified by the idea of her living across the country, and going about her life every day without him, and far worse was the idea of him having to live every day without her. He tried to get that across to her but it never came out right, and she always accused him of trying to tell her what to do with her life, trying to hold her down.

They had a few knock down, drag out fights over that subject, before Y/N made the decision to wait on college at least for now. She wasn’t really sure what she wanted to do with her life anyway, so for now at least, she was a hunter. But she wasn't sure if that was what she wanted forever. Their fathers made it seem as though that was their only choice, and she knew Dean believed that, but she and Sam weren't so sure. 

For the time being though, she was satisfied to keep traveling and hunting, spending all her free time with Dean, fighting and making up. 

The making up was worth the fights.

For the most part, Sam and their dads stayed clear of them when they were in battle mode. They’d all been thrown for a loop when they found out Dean and Y/N were dating. When they told their dads, at first the two men weren’t thrilled. But eventually they settled for telling them to just make sure not to let it affect the team. 

But poor Sam on the other hand, found out about them in a much more visceral way - by walking in on them, locked in a heated embrace, in the motel room one day, only a few days after they started dating. 

"What the hell?" Sam exclaimed loudly as Dean and Y/N leapt apart. Sam's face wore a look of deep disgust. 

Dean grinned and shrugged, pulling a blushing Y/N back into his arms. 

"Sorry, little brother, but it's true. Y/N couldn't resist me any longer."

Sam made a retching noise, and Y/N elbowed Dean in the ribs. "Sorry if it's weird, Sam, we probably should have told you."

Sam's expression was still disbelieving and slightly horrified but he shrugged slowly.

"Whatever. Just…" He held up a hand and his voice was pleading. "Never make out around me. Please! And for God's sake, learn to lock a door."

"What good would that do?" Dean called after him as he walked away. "You have a key!"

***

They celebrated their one year anniversary the fall after Y/N graduated. Dean took her out to a nice dinner. He had to wear a jacket and tie, and he fidgeted in it all evening, but he wanted to spoil Y/N a bit, so he just dealt with it.

After dinner though, he chucked his suit jacket in the backseat, loosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves before climbing behind the wheel and taking them for a long drive. They listened to music and Y/N even forced Dean to sit through a few of the sappy love songs she’d put together on a mixed tape. He scowled the whole time, but he held her hand and pulled her closer to him on the seat.

Finally, not long before midnight, he pulled down a deserted road and then off the road into an abandoned field. He put the car in park and cut the engine, leaving the radio playing softly in the background.

Y/N shot him a knowing smile and her voice was coy when she spoke. “And what, pray tell, are we doing here?”

Dean shrugged and put on an innocent face. “Oh, I don’t know. I was thinking maybe we could, uh…play some games…twenty questions? I spy?”

Y/N stifled her laugh to nod solemnly. “Right. Okay, I’ll start. I spy…a big fat liar.”

Dean grabbed his chest as though mortally wounded. “Ugh! I spy my very injured heart.”

Y/N laughed softly. “That’s really not the way you play the game.”

Dean dropped his hands from his broken heart and turned towards her. “No? K, then twenty questions.” He picked up her hand and stroked his thumb across her knuckles. His emerald green gaze bore into hers and she felt butterflies start fluttering in her lower belly. 

His voice was low, and rich, and smooth as he asked, “What am I thinking about right now?”

Y/N felt her cheeks flame as she read his intentions, plain as day, in the heated look that spread across his face.

She laughed breathlessly and corrected him. “That’s not how you play that game either. You’re supposed to pick a person, place or thing, and then I have to guess it.”

Dean nodded. “Ah, I see.” He responded, as though this was all new information. “Okay, then I pick person. Guess WHO I'm thinking about right now.”

Y/N bit her lip and closed an eye as though she was thinking hard. “Hmm…is she…bigger than a breadbox?” She asked and grinned.

“Barely.” Dean answered with a chuckle, just before he lifted her easily into his lap, making her gasp in surprise.

She settled herself on his thighs, wiggling against him and eliciting a groan from Dean. She knew the cause of it and grinned devilishly. She asked her next question as she played with his tie. “Do I know her?”

“Hmph.” Dean grunted. “The answer to that is very philosophical.” 

Y/N looked up at him through her lashes. “It has to be yes or no answers.”

“20 Questions is no fun. Let's go back to I Spy.” Dean said as he began trailing his thumb across Y/N's bottom lip. “I spy, a pair of lips I really wanna kiss.”

He brushed his lips across hers like a breath. She sighed and chuckled. “You really suck at these games.” Her gaze was mischievous as Dean looked into her eyes. 

He shrugged and plunged his hand into her hair. “Fine, I give up. I lose.” He said before covering her mouth with his, sucking the breath from her body. 

He pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers. “Wow.” Y/N said breathlessly. “You letting me win, that's a first.”

Dean grinned. “Well, I think we both win, actually.” His grin faded into something softer, and he shifted away from her and lowered his thick lashes, hiding his bright green orbs from view

“And I think maybe…this might be a night to talk about…firsts.”

They were both silent a moment before Dean looked back at her. His gaze was earnest and he was quick to reassure her. 

“I'm not saying we have to do anything or…anything. Just…we should probably talk about it.” He bit his lip and shot her a worried look. “I mean, dontcha think?”

Y/N thought of how far they'd gone recently, spurned on by incredible heat and passion, and an endless need to get closer, ever closer to each other. But they always stopped themselves, pulling away from each other with extreme difficulty.

She nodded at Dean; yes, they should definitely talk about it. 

Yet both of them stayed quiet. Finally Y/N just reached up and kissed him again, pushing her fingers through his short hair to grasp the back of his head and press him tighter against her. 

He licked her lips open and she whimpered slightly. They traded breaths, and tasted each other thoroughly. Dean's hand slid up from her waist to slide under her blouse and trace along the top of her bra. He moved his mouth down the column of her throat and Y/N leaned back to give him easier access.

When she did so, however, her back bumped into the horn, making them both jump and then start laughing. Y/N buried her face in Dean's neck and tried to catch her breath.

Dean pulled her hand up and kissed her palm. “Maybe we should continue this conversation in the back seat?”

Y/N nodded shyly. 

She slid off of his lap and then followed him outside as he opened the back door. He went to the trunk and before they got in, he laid down a soft wool blanket that's smelled just a bit like metal and car oil. 

Dean scooted all the way over to lean against the passenger side door, pulling Y/N back into his lap.

After a minute he cleared his throat. “K, before we go get distracted again, we're gonna talk, yeah?”

Y/N nodded. “Yes, talk.” There was a beat pause. “I think we should have sex.”

Dean's eyes widened at the blunt suggestion. “Like…now?” He asked, his words a little strangled.

Y/N laughed. “Yes, now. Given how rarely we're alone together, if we don't do it now, we may have to wait another entire year.”

Dean chuckled but looked hesitant. “Y/N I don't want you to feel like we're on some kind of schedule here. I mean -” 

Y/N interrupted him. “No, Dean. I just mean, I don't wanna…I mean, I can't wait anymore.”

She reached up and ran her hand down his cheek. “I want you, and I’m…I'm ready.”

Dean clasped her hand on his cheek and pulled her fingers to his lips, kissing each tip. “Me too, sweetheart. Been ready for a long time in fact.”

Y/N smiled shyly and stretched up to kiss the corner of his jaw, cut square and as sharp as glass. Dean curled in on her, unbuttoning the first few buttons on her blouse and pushing it off her shoulder so he could kiss her there. His teeth scraped delicately across her skin. 

Y/N gasped and shuddered. Dean pulled back to look down at her. He brushed the wispy tendrils of hair off her face as he studied her flushed cheeks and shallow breathing.

When she opened her eyes and looked up at him, he smiled at her and spoke, slightly hesitant.

“Are you scared?”

Y/N shook her head. “No, not scared. Just,” she ducked her head, “just nervous I guess.” She met his gaze again. “It's a big deal, you know?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah.” 

Y/N bit her lip before licking them. “You've…um…you've done it. Before. Right?”

Dean looked slightly uncomfortable, but nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I have.”

Y/N was quiet for a moment, then. “How many girls?”

Dean scowled and cleared his throat. “Y/N let's…I don't wanna talk about this. We don't have to talk about this.”

Y/N shifted slightly in his lap again and Dean hissed and clenched his jaw against the movement as she responded. “Come on. You were there in the same health class as me, listening to Coach Ginter tell us we need to know about our partner's sexual history.”

“Y/N.” 

“Come on.” She urged him. “I wanna know. It's the responsible thing to do. You know about all zero of my former partners."

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes slightly. “Okay, if I tell you, you're not gonna freak out?”

“No, of course not.”

“Promise?”

It was Y/N's turn for an eye roll. “Yes, I promise.”

Dean breathed out through his nose and was quiet a moment. “Five.”

Y/N's eyes widened. “You've had sex five times?”

Dean shook his head. “No, five girls. I've had sex lots of times.”

He seemed to catch his mistake and and shook his head dismissively. “But they don't matter.”

But Y/N wasn't listening. “Who were they?”

Dean sat up straight. “Uh uh. We're not doing that.”

Y/N raised her voice slightly and slid off Dean's lap to sit on the seat. “Doing what? This is the proper thing to do. Coach Ginter said that we-”

“Jesus Christ!”Dean barked out and then let out a thoroughly  exasperated laugh. “Would you stop bringing up the image of Coach Ginter is his fucking short shorts and sweat-stained white t-shirts. It's really killing the vibe here.”

Y/N wasn't laughing. “The only thing killing the vibe is the fact that you won't tell me who the scores of women were that you slept with.”

Dean frowned. “Not scores. Five.” He held up a hand full of fingers. “Five.”

“Okay, then who were they?”

Dean dropped his head into his hand. “Y/N!” He growled.

“Just tell me.” Y/N said, in what was clearly a forced calm. “It's no big deal, I'm just curious.”

Dean sighed deeply before looking back at her. “You have to promise, swear!” He said with a raised finger. “That you're not gonna get mad.”

Y/N was shaking her head before he finished. “Of course not.”

“Say ‘I promise’.”

“I promise.” Y/N said, hand over heart.

After a minute Dean took a deep breath. “Tracey Reeves. She was my first.”

The name rang a bell, and Y/N squinted, searching her memory, and then it dawned on her and her face became slack with shock, quickly followed by outrage.

“Tracey REEVES!! You mean that sadistic bitch who tortured me at the start of our freshman year?”

Dean scoffed. “Come on! It was initiation! All the seniors were torturing freshman! I got tortured too! It was just hazing. I mean, it wasn't that bad, for god's sake it was a fucking school event. The principal was there!"

Y/N pouted. “Yeah well, your little sweetie pie dumped that jar of mayonnaise on my head with just a bit too much glee.”

Dean rolled his eyes and then Y/N held a hand up. “Wait, wait. We left there before Halloween. So…” Her eyes got big. “You lost your virginity when you were fourteen?” Her voice was all disbelief.

Dean's jaw clenched. “Is this judgment?”

Y/N looked away and shook her head. “Who else?”

Dean growled again. “Ugh! Y/N, come on!”

“Who?!”

“You don't know three of them, k? You never met them.”

Y/N did quick math. “And the fifth one? Who was she?”

Dean stared at her, and Y/N could tell he was frustrated beyond belief, but her stubbornness wouldn't let her stop. She stared defiantly at him, waiting for him to answer.

He shook his head and spoke quietly. “You still promising to not get mad?” He said sarcastically.

“I'm not mad.” Y/N insisted. 

Dean rolled his eyes and mumbled out his answer. “Sam's tutor, Casey.”

Y/N felt her heart stop. “She's…she was tutoring Sam when we got together.”

Dean stepped on the end of her sentence. “It was before that. Before we got together.”

Y/N squeezed her hands into balls with white knuckles. “How long before?”

“Who cares?” Dean shouted defensively. “The only thing that matters is the ‘before’ part!”

But Y/N was barely listening. She was doing more math. “She was only tutoring Sam for like a week before we started dating.”

“Jesus Christ,” Dean mumbled, “You have the fucking memory of an elephant.”

When Y/N just kept staring at him he heaved a sigh and spoke angrily. “Fine, yes, it was three or four days before we got together.”

Y/N felt her heart begin to hurt. “You said, but you said you liked me then. You said, you’ve liked me since we were kids.”

“I did!” Dean said vehemently, and then amended his words. “I have! I do!”

“But that whole week leading up to us getting together, you said you knew I was jealous, you knew I was interested.”

“No, I said, I HOPED you might be interested. I didn't know anything for sure.”

“And you couldn't wait to find out?!” Y/N asked near tears. “You just slept with some other girl and then three days later started kissing me? What did Casey think about this? I mean she came over at least four or five more times after that. Did you, uh, decide to go for a second round just to say goodbye?”

Dean's face became immobile and expressionless but his eyes were hurt and hard. “If you actually think that, think I'd do that, what the fuck are you doing here with me? Why are you with me at all?”

“I don't know!” Y/N shouted, her temper exploding. “Maybe if I'd known I was dating some kind of man-whore I wouldn't be here!”

Her temper tried to blind her to the way Dean flinched at her words, but she saw it, and it sat heavy in her heart. But her chest was heaving and her eyes burned and she refused to apologize.

Dean didn't say anything. He just opened the door and walked out to get to the driver's seat. Y/N stayed in the back. He started up the car and drove them all the way home in silence.

The night that had started with so much promise and excitement, had been shattered; promises made and broken. But the broken promise of them - what they almost were - that was what cut Y/N the most.

This fight felt different. It felt final, dark. Jealousy and hurt feelings, anger and resentment festered between them.

For days that turned into weeks they avoided each other as much as possible. Dean was gone all the time, and it ripped Y/N's heart out to think of where he might be spending his time. 

She wanted to say sorry, wanted the fight to just melt away between them as they always had before. They'd been so close to something permanent, something binding between them, and now it was ruptured, leaving a crater between them.

She didn't know how to cross it.

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl @perpetualabsurdity @tristanrosspada-ackles @djs8891 @muhahaha303 @kayyay1219 @emily-winchester @recoveringpastaaddict @maximumkillshot @mimaria420 @sacriceria @envyaurora95 @lacilou @jc-winchester @spnwoman @mimi-luvzyu @jackles010378

2 - Dean Winchester Fics Only. @carryonwaywardgirl

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @alexxavicry @nancymcl @spalady26 @slut-for-evans-stan

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @jensensgotyoudean @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79 @courtn92 @avanatural @ellie-andthemachine @this-is-me19 @roseblue373 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @fanfic-n-tabulous @k-slla @stoneyggirl2

[new-tella-us]

So I was drawing and I was intending to just draw a full body of Mika but then I looked at the body type and thought it was way to “idealized”, I save that for the succubi. But then I thought, “What if Demon Mika?” And so this image was born!

When making the human form, I literally just asked myself “What if Mika’s outfit but sexy?”

There are three ways I can see this image happening.

1) This is the King Sam ending of Seduce Me Demon War

2) This is the “My Kingdom” ending of Seduce Me the Otome

Or

3) This is a swap AU (the intended one) which would bring up the question of what the boys would look like if they were just humans.

Going for the Swapped AU as a concept, this version of Mika is still 25% Angel, just the rest is succubus. She’s the only heir to her kingdom’s throne and her father tried to marry her off to a well off but violent kingdom. She said “Fuck no!” And went to the human world via Harold Anderson. (who I’m tempted to say is the Boys’ grandfather in this timeline) She then proceeded to piss off a devil, nearly die, break into a house and kiss some random dude (Sam) for energy.

That somehow got her a house to stay in with five cute, human boys as roommates.

This version of Mika isn’t unpleasant but she’s a lot less willing to be upbeat as her whole life was practically planned for her and she was not happy about any of it. So you can either have her fall for one of the cute humans she’s rooming with or have her leave and bond with either a beautiful human witch and her assistant (Diana and Saero), one of her demon besties that she can stay with to avoid her parents (Suzu or Naomi) or this other runaway that looks suspiciously like the man she was supposed to marry (Andrew)

[artyandink]

we could be more | dean winchester | 5

Summary: Ivonne Rainer was practically a trained killing machine. Stripped to the bone then built back up by her father in order to become one of the best, like he was. She was forced into hunting when she was nineteen, having developed powers that couldn’t be explained. That is, until she was paid a visit by Azazel’s lackey. Her powers were gone, she needed help, and that’s when she found her father’s journal. Pointing to Sam and Dean Winchester.

SERIES MASTERLIST

A/N - My first OG episode, so enjoy!

DEAD MEN CAN’T SCREAM

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : CAN’T CATCH ME NOW - OLIVIA RODRIGO

“XAVIER NICHOLAS JACKSON!” I yelled. Xavier shrieked, jumping six feet into the air. 

“Here we go.” Sam muttered. 

“She used his middle name.” Dean smirked.

I picked up a pointer stick, slapping it on the sign. “SHOES OFF!” 

“Damn, fine!” Xavier hurriedly took off his shoes. I walked up to him, then smiled sweetly. 

“Thanks, love.” I gave him a kiss, leaving him dumbfounded.

”Welcome to our world, soldier.” Dean chuckled.

”Tough world.” Sam snorted. 

“So, Sammy, got any new cases?” 

“There’s one, and I think Ivy will be interested.” He placed the paper down. “String of murders here, all done by different people with no connection. However, once the murderers were caught, they turned out to be sleeping.” 

“Manner of death?” I asked, rushing over and taking the paper. 

“A knife.” Sam frowned. “In the jugular.” 

“Map it out.” I ordered, gritting my teeth. It was like a switch flipped in my brain. “I don’t care how we do it, we’re finding this dreamwalker.” Sam mapped out the killings, and I took a quick look. 

“Looks like nothing to me.” Dean shrugged. 

“This is Morse code.” I got out a sheet of paper, writing it out. “You… can… run… Ivy. It’s coming back. For me.” 

“T-To finish you off?” Sam stammered, leaning forward. 

“Seems like it.” I exhaled. “It’s taunting me. Telling me to run. I’m guessing that the next killings will spell out ‘but you can’t hide’.” 

“So we find out where. Find out how to kill this thing.” Dean resolved, placing his hand on the map. 

“How many sleeping people will we rifle through before we find this thing?” Sam scoffed. “We can’t barge into every home on a street and find out who’s sleeping, we’re going to have to try and track a person down, but even that’s impossible.” 

“That also means we can’t sleep.” I sighed. 

“What?” Xavier folded his arms. 

“That dreamwalker is coming for me. It could possess any one of us and the only thing it needs is for us to take a nap. After that, knives galore.” 

“Why knives?” 

“A murderer’s principle of extravagance. Or, a more plausible one, the ability to get the holder caught cause the dreamwalker isn’t gonna put on gloves before going psycho.” 

“And the, uh, neck bit?” Dean asked, pointing to his jugular. 

“There’s an ancient saying in dreamwalker lore everywhere.” I clicked my tongue. “‘Dead men can’t scream.’. The whole point to stab someone’s neck is to silence them. Their screams, their words, thoughts, everything. Cause if you take out part of the airway, you take them out.” 

“How are we gonna find out where it strikes next? Cause so far, the only thing we have is what it is and who it’s after.” 

“I don’t think so.” I drew an arrow from the first killing to the last. “Point A to B. We’re here,” I circled a place on the map, “and all the killings are making its way to us. It’s like it’s been tracking me.” 

“This is a change.” Sam chuckled. “We’re the ones being hunted this time.” 

“It’s not gonna be pretty, Sam.” I sighed. “Wherever we’re going, a trail of dead bodies are gonna follow.”

”That’s not particularly ideal.”

”Didn’t seem like it.” I loaded my gun, exhaling. “Well, we know what has to happen. You guys need to get far away from here, and I’ll deal with the ‘walker.” 

“No. No way.” Dean refused almost immediately. 

“We’re not leaving you.” Xavier agreed.

“It’s not like I’m giving you a choice.” I retorted. “Get in your cars. Go.” 

“You almost got skinned last time you came into contact with that thing.” Sam frowned. “How do you expect to survive this time?”

“I have books, lore on how to deal with something like this. If someone summoned it, I send it back to hell. If not, a destroying ritual will do the trick.” 

Dean scoffed. “You need backup-“ 

“I need space, Dean.” I started sharpening my knives harshly. “You stay close and you might end up with a knife in you.” 

“And if we turn our backs, you could be on the receiving end.” Xavier argued. 

“I know, but if I die, it stops the cycle.”

”You don’t know that.” Sam frowned. 

“Fine.” I gave up, folding the map. “We can all set off at sunrise. Just draw a protective rune with holy water on you before you sleep.”

However, I had other plans. I waited until the boys were asleep before gathering Sam’s research, stuffing it into my satchel before I grabbed my copy of the house keys, unlocking the door and leaving. I’d decided that the first place to go was the house where it all started, so I could figure out where it went. I ended up in Madison, New Jersey.

“Can I help you, miss?” A local asked. He was old, and I recognised him.

“Arthur Paisley?” I grinned. 

“Who’s askin’?” He retorted gruffly. 

“It’s Ivonne. Rainer?”

”Ivy, dear girl!” He broke out into a toothy smile. “Welcome back. Let me take you for a drink.” We ambled towards the bar, talking. “So, where have you been all these years?”

”On a road trip. I found some family friends and went with ‘em.” 

“The Winchesters, right?” He nodded. “Such a shame what happened to ya family. Little Carter…” 

I breathed out shakily, managing a smile. “Yeah. He didn’t deserve that.” 

“You did what you had to, girlie.” 

“I could’ve done something else.” We entered the bar, which was eerily empty. 

“But you did the first thing that came to your mind.” He vouched. “Lucky that gun was still on your father’s bedside table.” 

I stopped, turning around slowly as my hand slowly went to my gun. “Hold on. How did you know that it was a gun? Carter’s manner of death was kept private by the police. And nobody knew that I was with Sam and Dean.” 

“You’re famous around town, here, girl-“ 

“Cut it.” I snapped, taking my gun out. “And let Mr Paisley go.” 

“Ok.” He smirked. “But I’ll find you again. I need to finish my job off with you.” 

“Good luck.” I scoffed, flicking down the safety pin. Then the darkness disappeared from Paisley’s eyes, and I caught him before he fell, setting him down on a comfy chair before running off. The moment I was sure I wasn’t being followed, I got into my car, dialling Ellen and driving off.

‘Hey, sweetie. Are Sam and Dean with you?’ Ellen greeted. 

“Hey, El. And, uh, no. Just wanted to run a few names by you. There’s more, but I’ll give you a few.”

’Shoot.”

”Edward Sarkis, Pete Barnes, Vincent Wylie, Harry Terman, Lloyd Cole, Mark James…?”

‘I know the names. All seasoned hunters, with a wife and kids. None would stop comparing baby photos.’

”They’re dead, Ellen. I gulped. “Killed like Dad. Then their family was found with a knife in their throat the day after. The one who was blamed was the oldest kid of the family, and they’re all now in a mental asylum.”

‘You don’t think that it’s the same thing that killed your parents, do you?’

”I know it is. The killings spell out ‘you can run, Ivy’ in Morse. I need Ash to help and find a way to kill it.”

’I’ll get him on it. What am I supposed to tell the boys?’

”Nothing.” I frowned.  “If they come knocking or calling, you can’t tell them where I am.”

’Ivy, you know I can’t do that.’

”Ellen.” I begged. “Just do this for me, please.”

 Pause.

’Fine. But you better live.’

“I’ll try.” I shifted gears. “Can you find out a hunter who lives close to the last murder site?”

“Yeah. His name’s Xavier Jackson.” My heart dropped out of my chest as I turned the car around, flooring it. 

“XAVIER!” I screamed, bursting into my house, but the boys were gone. “Oh my god-“ I got a phone call, and I picked up seeing Xavier’s calling ID. “Zay, where are you?” 

‘A warehouse south from your house.’ I heard on the other end of the line. ‘I told you that you could run, Ivy, but I’d find you. Xavier seems like such a good guy. Why waste this opportunity to save your boyfriend?’ 

“Let him-“ 

‘I know why.’ He chuckled. ‘Because I’ve got your precious boys here with me.’ 

‘Don’t come here, Ivy!’ Dean ordered. ‘I swear, if you do-‘ 

“Dean-“ 

‘Ivy, please.” Sam begged. ‘Whatever you do, don’t come-’

‘See, Ivy, I don’t think you can listen to them.’ Xavier took back the phone. ‘Because you are going to come here. You’re going to come alone, and you’re gonna give yourself up. And I don’t think you can raise your gun again because to kill me you have to shoot your boyfriend. Just like you did Carter.’ 

“I’m gonna kill you.” I growled. “I swear to god, I will do it.” 

‘I’d like to see you try. You’ll find me, but get here by sundown. If not for me, do it for Carter.’ 

“Carter.” I whispered, getting back in my car. I fought off tears, putting the pedal to the metal as I sped off, but carefully not exceeding the speeding limit. I hit the wheel, my teeth gritted. “DAMN IT!” I knew which warehouse Xavier was talking about. There was an abandoned one south of my house here. Nobody cared about it. Nobody thought there was anyone in there, but right now, there were three captive men and one monster. I pulled up at the warehouse, taking a gun out of a compartment under my seat, loading it and getting out, kicking down the door to the warehouse and holding my gun up. 

“Don’t move.” Xavier had a knife held aloft, holding Sam’s head back by his hair. Dean was bound, his head hanging down with his eyes half open. “Put the gun down, Rainer. Come on, do a favour for your boyfriend.” 

“Zay, I know you’re in there-“ 

“Put the gun down.” He pulled Sam’s head back further, so I put my gun down, holding my hands out. 

“You got what you wanted, now let him go.” 

“I don’t think so.” 

“Fine, then take me.” 

“Ivy, no…“ Sam muttered, his eyes barely open. 

“What have you done to them?” I gasped, my fist clenching. 

“Relax, it’s just a sedative.” Xavier smirked. “It’s not hurt them, just kept them incapacitated.” 

“You’re sick.” 

“None of this would have happened if you had just given yourself up. The cycle would stop. I’d leave and never bother anyone again. I was always after you, Ivy, little Carter didn’t need to die.” 

“Wh-What do you mean?” 

“Your anger was powerful to latch on to, but that night you just wouldn’t sleep. But Carter was asleep in the room opposite. I felt his pain, his animosity towards his older sister and, well, I just had to take the opportunity. But, as you can see, my revenge isn’t complete.” 

I was breathing heavily, my body feeling like it was on fire as red hot rage boiled up in me faster than a bullet could travel from point A to B. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU!” We rushed at each other, and I knocked the knife out of Xavier’s hand, ending up a metre from Sam. I elbowed Xavier in the face, punching him so hard that he fell on the floor. I climbed on top of him, punching him over and over, watching blood run down his cheek as heavy breaths escaped my mouth. I pulled out my gun, holding it to his head. I had prepared a replica, which was the one I’d surrendered before.

“Is this what this was about the whole time?!” I shouted, my hand shaking while my finger tightened on the trigger. “You wanted me to take the blame? Why didn’t you do it? My brother was fifteen, fifteen, but you marked him for death.” 

“It’s no one’s fault but yours, Ivonne.” He smirked. “Had you taken care of your family, he’d still be here. Now your two friends are next.” I was pushed off, and Xavier scurried to the knife, picking it up and holding it to Sam’s throat. “Dead men can’t scream-“

BANG. 

BANG. 

A cloud of black smoke escaped Xavier just as the bullets pierced his body, his eyes turning from dark blue to their usual light blue. He swayed, looking down at the two holes in his chest before he collapsed. Sam regained his strength and managed to cut himself and Dean, who was still half-asleep, loose while I rushed to Xavier’s side, holding his face in my hands. What had I done? What had I…

“Zay, please, no.” I sobbed. “We’ll get you an ambulance, anything, just don’t leave me.” I kissed his forehead, smoothing his hair back. “I’m so sorry.” It felt like my heart was breaking all over again, like I was out of control again. I hated it, but I couldn’t escape it. But the dreamwalker escaped… and I wasn’t quick enough.

“It’s ok.” He smiled weakly, reaching up to tuck my hair behind my ear. “It wasn’t your fault.” 

“It was.” I sobbed, shaking my head. “You could have broken free-“

”It was too strong.” He whispered. “I love you so much, Ivy. But I wish we had more time.” 

“Don’t say that, don’t say…” He gently brought me down to kiss him, but halfway through, his hold on me loosened and I felt his arm fall onto the floor, going cold. I sat back up, the bitter truth hitting me. 

Xavier was dead, and it was my fault. 

I screamed, the sound falling deaf on my ears as Sam wrapped his arms around my midsection, trying to pull me away. 

“Ivy!” Sam yelled, but it sounded muffled. Like I’d shut everything out. “Ivy, we can’t help him! We need to go!” I went limp against him, crying my eyes out as the image of the dead body flickered between Carter’s and Xavier’s, lifeless and cold, with the same expression of terror. Please, not again. Not again.

“Yeah, you can’t help him.” Dean smirked, walking casually towards the body. “Another body, Ivy, what a shame. People just seem to be… dropping like flies around you.” The dreamwalker had possessed him, and both Sam and I took out our guns. My hands shook as I pointed my barrel at his forehead; please don’t make me shoot Dean. Not him. “Relax, this is only gonna be for a bit. You’ve only gotten away this time, Rainer. I’m going to complete my revenge someday.” 

“What revenge?” 

“I used to be a vampire.” Dean snarled. “But then my heart was carved out by none other than a gang of hunters, one of them happening to be Michael Rainer. I couldn’t resist it. I went after his family, and I found you, the strongest of the lot that was left. He trained you as well, so why can’t I put that to good use? However, you just couldn’t let me possess you. So Carter was a perfectly acceptable second choice.” 

“Get out of my brother.” Sam snarled. 

“As you wish.” The darkness left Dean’s eyes, and he immediately gasped, recovered and hugged me tightly, Sam joining in. I shook violently, tears still silently streaming down my face as my eyes landed on Xavier’s body in the middle of the empty space.

”Xavier had gone insane.” I lied, later on, shaking as I sat down in the interrogation room in a police precinct. “I went to visit my old family house in New Jersey when I got the call that Xavier had kidnapped my friends and he needed me to come and save them. We fought, and he had a gun on him, which I stole. I shot when he was about to murder Sam, and then I untied them.” 

“Story matches up.” The policeman nodded. “And injuries suggest the same. I don’t think we can press charges. You shot in self defence, and you stopped a kidnapping. Why you didn’t call us, I don’t know, but you did a good job.” 

“Can I leave, officer?’ I asked. 

“Yeah, I don’t see a reason to keep you.” I left the office, meeting Sam and Dean outside. Dean took me into a hug, kissing my hair. 

“We can take a break from hunting, if it makes you feel better.” Sam whispered, hugging me once Dean released me. 

“No.” I shook my head. “I need a distraction.” 

I decided to go on a drive alone, ignoring the fact that Xavier had just died. It was how I dealt with Carter and my family, so it didn’t seem much different. Just numb, like I’d forgone emotions entirely. So, yeah, repetitive.

Apart from how people seemed to die around me. 

I got a phone call, seeing that Sam was the caller ID. I picked it up. “Hey, Sammy. What’s up?”

’Look to your right.’ I looked to my right, which had a long abandoned runway on it. There, at the top, was a figure that looked like Dean, tied to a chair yet again. ‘I’ve got him. And I’m gonna ram a car into him, unless you come over here.’

“Are you ever going to leave me alone?” 

‘No, I don’t think I will.’ Just as I was about to floor it, a bullet grazed my head, lodging into my seat. I immediately floored it, wincing at the blood running down my head as I turned the car sharply.

“Did you send that bullet?” 

‘No, I’m in a car.’ 

“This is the worst way to die.” Dean groaned, struggling against his bonds. "Beanie, if you save me, I will personally get you your favourite coffee every day.” 

“Any last words?!” Sam yelled from the car, and Dean thought. 

“You’re a twat!” He yelled back. “That’s right, I used British insults!” 

The car started, headlights on as it revved, driving up towards where Dean was. He looked away, a feeble attempt to brace for impact. Sam determinedly pressed the pedal harder, ready to ram right into Dean-

I drove my car straight into the side of the one Sam was in, glass cracking and flying across my face as dust dirtied my face, the impact knocking the wind out of me and my head against the wheel. The world spun around me as I gasped to get some air, but my head felt heavy. I rested my head on my arms, passing out almost immediately.

Sam stumbled out of the car, the darkness gone from his eyes. He stared at Dean, and then himself, realising that he was barely injured. 

“What happened?” Sam panted, checking himself. 

“You almost killed me!” Dean yelled. “Get me my pocketknife from my jeans and then go get Beanie out of the car. She almost killed herself trying to stop you.” Sam gave him his pocketknife then sprinted over to the Corvette, yanking open the door and picking me up bridal style, turning to Dean. 

“She’s not awake!” He called, and Dean ran over, grabbing a water bottle from my car and taking some water in his hand, flicking it over my face. 

“C’mon, Ivy.” Dean whispered, checking for my heartbeat and breathing. “She’s alive, so that’s good.” 

“We need to get her to the hospital.”

”She’s not got any major injuries.” The doctor explained to Sam and Dean, who were outside the ward. “Just a few cuts and grazes, and her hand took a bit of a sprain. We’ve cleaned and bandages those, and she’s awake now and almost out of shock. You two can see her.” 

They speed-walked into my ward just as I was sitting up, my hand  kept aloft and bandaged. As soon as I saw the boys, I grinned as they sat down and started showering my head with kisses. 

“Thank god you’re ok.” Sam whispered, burying his face into my shoulder. Dean cupped my cheek, rubbing circles with his thumb. 

“I…” Dean paused, “I am never letting you out of my sight again. You almost died. Again.” 

“I told you, I’m only dying by a knife to the jugular.” I joked, sipping some water. “How long have I been out?” 

“A day.” Sam smiled. 

“So, ready for another hunt?” 

“How does she not remember but we do?” 

“I don’t know, Sammy.” Dean smirked. 

“Am I missing something here?” I asked.

They both pulled out a cake, grinning. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

But I'm in the trees, I'm in the breeze My footsteps on the ground You'll see my face in every place But you can't catch me now Through wading grass, the months will pass You'll feel it all around I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere But you can't catch me now No, you can't catch me now

PREVIOUS | NEXT

[deanwinchesterswitch]

August 2024 Monthly Fic Recs

I dove into some master lists this month for a few of these. I highly recommend that you do the same. If you're only reading the most recent posts, then you are missing out on some fabulous fics!

Plus, you will make the authors very happy, especially when you reblog and comment.🥰

Enjoy!

Many of these blogs and fics are NSFW-18+. Please honor any requests from a blog regarding no minors. I am not responsible for the content you choose to consume; heed the warnings for each fic.

~MCU~

Embraceable You ~ @impala-dreamer. Author's Summary: None (Ficlet; Bucky Barnes x You)

~Supernatural~

A Hunter Walks Into a Bar ~ @rizlowwritessortof. Author's Summary: None (Dean x Reader)

Do You Know? ~ @thatonewriter15. Author's Summary: Dean sees her in his dreams.

In a Million Memories-Master Post ~ @deaneverafter. Author's Summary: After saving the world over and over again, Dean finally deserves to live in it. And he wants to. He’s earned it. But things are never as simple as that for a Winchester, and if he wants the apple pie life, he’s going to have to fight for it, harder than he’s ever fought before.

Just Right ~ @kaleldobrev. Author's Summary: Dean hates when you’re sick. Not only can he not kiss his best girl without the possibility of getting sick himself. But you also can’t make one of his favorite things to start off his day: his morning coffee.

Lost In You ~ @rizlowwritessortof. Author's Summary: A casual flirtation leads to a violent encounter, and Dean’s reaction is a little more than you expected.

No Title ~ @cleighwrites. Author's Summary: None (Drabble; Dean Winchester x Reader)

Oh, Baby ~ @luci-in-trenchcoats. Author's Summary: When Dean is cursed on a hunt and turned into a baby, the reader has to take care of him along with Sam. Dean however, is a bit more adult than they might realize…

Pieces ~ @atwistoffate. Author's Summary: None (Ficlet; Dean x Reader)

Sweet Escape-Part 1 ~ @rizlowwritessortof. Author's Summary: None (Dean x Reader)

Sweet Escape-Part 2 ~ @rizlowwritessortof. Author's Summary: None (Dean x Reader)

~Tracker~

Don't Mention It ~ @impala-dreamer. Author's Summary: None (Ficlet; Russell Shaw x GN!Reader)

~On Patreon~

Rebekah Jordan (Impala-Dreamer)

Sweet Creature ~ Bad things happen when you take matters into your own hands and try to prove that love conquers all

The Beat of Your Heart ~ Author’s Summary: Friends become lovers who turn into the darkest evil that one can endure...

thinkinghardhardlythinking

Close to Home-Parts 19-20 ~ Author’s Summary: Y/N and Dean are neighbours, and friends. The thing is Dean is a ladies’ man and she has always known it, if he wasn’t, maybe he’d be the ideal guy…but his eye for the ladies, how well they work as friends, as well as the fact that he’d never even think of her that way, all means that they are meant to be just neighbours and friends. Doesn’t it?

[paarthurnax59]

"Family Don't End In Blood"

Chapter 2

Warnings: angst, arguments, mention of abortion, violence, blood and kidnapping.

word count: 5779

Chapter 1

“I don’t want us to have kids.”

“I don’t want us to have kids.”

“I don’t want us to have kids.”

    That one sentence echoed in your mind so loudly. Like if Dean had been standing in a cave and had just shouted the words, it would still not nearly be as loud as it was in your mind. Your face was blank and growing more pale.  Mind now empty from the horror that you were facing. You felt sick, sicker than before you found out you were pregnant. Your stomach was doing somersaults making the unpleasant feeling so much worse. You couldn’t breathe, you sat still while you looked at Dean with your jaw dropped. 

    He didn’t want kids and here you were about to tell him that you were pregnant. Whichever god, deity or higher power that oversaw weaving the events of your life, truly had a sick sense of humor.  You wish this were a nightmare. That at any moment you would wake up and in bed with Dean and you surprise him with a special gift that would say “World’s best dad” and he would shed tears of joy. Sam would be hugging you and excited about becoming an uncle and Castiel wanting to be your child’s guardian angel. Your friends would throw you a baby shower and having to drag Dean to it. Maybe bribing him with pie. Months later, you finally deliver your baby and Dean smiling down proudly at your child as he kissed your forehead. You smile contently as you fell asleep after hours of being in labor. 

    How you wished that was the reality. For Dean to be happy about being a father and you a mother.  Yet, that wasn’t the reality that you want. Your own personal hell and nightmare was. Dean didn’t want to have kids with you, or at all. His mind was set on this and once Dean’s mind was made up, it’s damn near impossible to change. 

absolute and full-on non-negotiable

   You heard him right, and when Dean says something was absolute, he meant it. You didn’t know that to do. You were already pregnant, and you didn’t have the chance to tell him. You honestly don’t have any idea why he brought it up and why he had suddenly made this decision. Dean loved kids and so did you. He was always good with young kids and even wanted to help raise Ben. Yes, it wasn’t ideal to raise children in the hunter life. If it ever came to be, you would quit the hunter life if it meant raising your children in safety. You now had some stability and a home to call your own since your father’s house had burned down.  What had changed his mind?

“What? Why not?” You asked wanting to know why the father of your unborn baby of why didn’t want kids.

“You know the hunt we were just on? The hunt with pregnant women that had gone missing?” He asked in return to help you get a good picture 

“Yes.” You answered him.

“When we first go there, we started at the police station and found all of the addresses of the homes these pregnant women lived at.” He began softly, a sad expression was clear on his face. “I interviewed the husbands and boyfriends, and…I met this one guy that said that he and his wife had multiple miscarriages. And they were finally expecting, and she was far along. It was close to her due date, around eight months. I have seen a guy look so distraught.” When Dean explained to you about what went down, your heart broke. To have had a series of miscarriages and when finally, been gifted the miracle of life, something comes in and took that away from a happy couple. “We found through our research that it was a demon that gets it’s power from the essence of newborn children. A Lamia, by the look of it. She was undercover at one the clinic that was helping these pregnant women. She impersonated a nurse to get their medical information to search out these women during their third trimester. The clinic had no idea a demon was working with them.”

“My god.” You uttered while looking at Dean in shock and sadness. “Did you find the mother?”

“Yes, but…She was gone and so was her baby.” He sated, looking down at the table. 

“You mean…” You try to finish while not wanting to hear the rest of what Dean was going to say. 

“Yes, She died. And what I saw…was…” He tried to get out and his breath hitched. You can tell he didn’t want to give the details. “She was butchered, like she was some sort of science experiment. You have no idea how hard it was to tell her husband his wife and child were gone.” Dean was trying to hold back all the emotions and it showed. His tears were brimming with fresh tears. He didn’t go into further detail, and you most certainly didn’t want to hear about what happened to the baby. You just couldn’t image the horror of what Dean had seen. Without thinking you secretly placed your stomach, without Dean noticing. The need and desire to protect your baby had grown stronger when you heard Dean talk about his experience. 

“Did you find the demon?” You asked quietly with your hand still on your non-existent bump. 

“Yes, we iced the bitch and her minions fled after I put the bullet in her brain.” Dean leaned back and his face became where more stonelike when you mentioned the demon. You were relived at that, at least. The fewer of these monsters, the better. “When we drove back, I talked to Sam and venting out my emotions. I didn’t want to go through something like that. I don’t want to especially see you go through that. I don’t know what would happen if I lost you. Especially like that.” Dean said as he grabbed your free hand as your other hand laid on your belly. You truly saddened on how badly this had gotten to Dean. Hell, it was getting you to you too.

“Dean, this is a serious decision. I understand the risks of raising a family in the life. But, I can protect myself. I am a hunter, Dean. I have been raised this life. That poor woman you mentioned, had no clue of what was going to happen. We do. We know what’s out there and the monsters.” You try reasoning with him. Dean’s resolve always seems to crumble when it came to you. You were the only person that could break his walls and even somehow remotely change his mind on things. Which it was impressive considering how stubborn Dean can be. Seeing as you were going to have a child, you might as well try to change his mind. “Plus, we have the Bunker. It the safest and most secure place in the world. If that place isn’t safe for a child, then where?” You finally let go of your pregnant belly and then grabbed Dean’s hand. Looking deep in his eyes and smiled at him. “Was this really because of one hunt, Dean? I understand about what you had gone through and…” But before you could say anything else, Dean lets his hand slip from yours and gives you the cold glare. It was a look that you never thought Dean could give you.

“(Name), are you seriously saying that we should have a baby? To raise them in the life? To put their safety, happiness, and well-being on the line, just so we could be parents? I’m Sorry, honey, but that is honestly the most self-centered thing you could say.” Dean growled, looking at you like you were going insane. For the first time in forever, Dean had hurt you with his own words. “You know what it was like being raised in this life. You know what I had been through. The kind of life that my father raised us in and yours. Not only is it not ideal, it’s selfish.”

“But, you helped raise Ben. You got out and we can too if it comes to that.” You try to reason with him once, hoping that way you could have the courage to tell him you were pregnant. Ben loved Dean, he might not have been his father but there was no doubt Dean did what he could to protect Ben and Lisa. He cared for them like his own family. 

“Yeah, look how that turned out!” He shot you down in a loud tone, making you jolt up in shock from his heated demeanor. The people in the diner started to look at you two, Dean noticed and tries to quiet down his voice.  “I was pulled back into the life, there is no escaping it, (Name). I almost killed Ben when I was a vampire, Lisa got kidnaped by Crowley and had to erase their memories, forever. I was scared out of my mind and had to say goodbye to the people that I had considered family.” As he explained to you in a more hushed but no less angry. Apparently, that experience still got to Dean and “I don’t want to put the life of child at risk. I could barely protect Sam and you; you think I can protect our kids? No, I can’t. I’m sorry, (Name), but there is no way I’m going to put an innocent life in danger like this.  I am not going through something like that. I will not raise a kid in the life. I rather die the next day, than risk my child’s life and watch them die. I don’t want to have kids, (Name). That’s final.” Dean said as if he was setting his words in stone. The commitment in his argument seemed to be absolute and there was no changing it. It scared you, Dean at that moment, terrified you. For the first time in your life, you didn’t know what to so regarding the man you fell in love with. Most importantly, you didn’t know what to do about the life growing inside of you. One is for sure, you can’t tell Dean. You just can’t, not right now at least.

You looked down and took a deep breath before saying anything. 

“Okay, Dean. I’m sorry for fighting you on this.” You somberly apologize to your boyfriend, feeling incredibly defeated. Dean nodded and grabbed the burger and took a bite, you both ate in silence, not speaking to each other after that. What you both didn’t see was a pair of black eyes looking straight at you and your sad face, with a wide, wicked grin plastered on her face. 

….

 Dean’s PoV

  The drive back to the bunker was silent. Nothing but uncomfortable dead air between the two of  as both of them drove back home. The radio played on as (Name) looked out the window and kept her eyes away from her boyfriend. Dean, feeling a twinge of guilt over the way he reacted over her trying to change his mind. His brain was now chastising him for calling her self-centered and selfish because she may want to become a mother. There was nothing wrong with that it was human nature for a woman to want to have children. He couldn’t blame her and saying she was selfish was uncalled for. He just didn’t know why she was trying to fight him on this so much. They were always able to be on the same page with everything. Why is she fighting with him now?

    He knew he had to get her to see his side of it. She had to know that raising a kid in this life is just out of the question. His upbringing had such an influence on him that the dream of having children was dead. There was a time where he wanted kids. He loved them and honestly thought (Name) would be the one to give him that. But after everything that he went through as a child, having to raise Sam by himself and all the things that he had seen happened to innocent children, that wasn’t possible for him. That hunt he went one just killed it for him, he had never seen anything like that. He knows he wouldn’t make a good father. He was so sure of it and she needed to see that. He loved her and wanted her to stay with him. If can just get her on board, then things will get better between them. They can go back to talk with one another. She will get over it in time he convinced himself. she was always resilient, so she can let of this dream of hers. Dean looked back to his girlfriend and turned off the radio so he could talk to her. 

“Look, sweetheart. I’m sorry for the way I acted back there. Yelling at you is something that I didn’t want to do, and I shouldn’t have embarrassment you like that. You’re not selfish or self-centered. You’re the best person that I know and you didn’t deserve that.” He spoke softly as he looked the girl he loved. She didn’t say anything other than nodded at him with her chin be held up by her hand. (Name) continued to look out the window as Dean continued the conversation, even though she wasn’t responding to back to him. “But...I really need you to be on board with this. You had no idea how hard it would be to raise a child together. I mean, me and Sam are considered deceased in the eyes of the law. We won’t be able to find jobs, get a house or even take our kids to school. If we didn’t have the Bunker, we would still be jumping from motel to motel all the time. People are going to be asking questions about our lives and one day will ask what our kid’s parents do for a living and will expose the hunting life. They might even think we are crazy and CPS might take our kid away. Me and Sammy were almost taken from our dad when were little, and then had to leave so that the cops wouldn’t find us. You want that? You really want for our kid?” Dean tried to get through to her one more time, hoping this could help her deal with the fact that he didn’t want to have kids. 

“No, I don’t.” She said gloomily not looking at him. Dean would normally be angry if someone weren’t giving him answers to his questions and not look at him. However, this was (Name) he was talking to. She was the one person to break down his walls. He couldn’t be cold towards her, he just couldn’t. “I get it you went through a ton of crap and don’t want to repeat history.” She finished, but still refused to look at Dean. Feeling sad and guilty, Dean grabbed her hand and stroked it with his large thumb. (Name) had now finally looked at him with her (e/c) eyes and could see the sadness in them. Dean’s heart broke when he looked at her. She looked disheartened by what he told her. He had to try to make it better. Maybe taking some time off from hunting and spending time together. They could use a few days off from the life and try to be normal for a while. 

“How about we take a break, honey? Spend some time together? We can find something to do and have some fun okay?” Dean asked with that sweet smile that (Name) had loved so much. She took a deep breath and nodded. 

“Okay. Sounds like a good idea.” She replied, sounding like she had nothing else to say. Dean then took his hand away and he placed both his hands on the steering wheel as the Bunker came to view. 

….

Normal POV.

     You didn’t sleep at all that night. Not even with Dean by your side, you just couldn’t let your eyes shut and drift off to sleep. Dean tried to get you to talk to him as much as possible, to try and steer away from the conversation away from the whole baby situation. He had failed so after the first few hours before dinner. Sam also noticed your strange behavior and saw how much you were ignoring Dean. You had told Sam that Dean didn’t want kids back when you went out to lunch. Sam knew that what is was about and figured you would be upset about it.  He was the only other person Dean told that he didn’t want to have kids. You at least ate your fill of food because of the fact you were pregnant and needed to take care of your baby, the baby that Dean didn’t want. After you ate you went back to your room and decided to read a book until night fall. Dean finally came in and changed into his pajamas. He told you he loved you before you said your good nights and you returned with it with a soft kiss to his lips. After hours of failed attempts of trying to sleep, You looked at Dean again. He was fast asleep with his arm around you and his face buried in your hair. You turned your head away from him and slowly removed his arm from you. Carefully getting up from the bed you looked at your phone to look at the clock.

1:34 A.M. 

  You placed your phone down and got up, knowing that you weren’t going to be getting as much sleep as you would like. You carefully opened the door to yours and Dean’s room and walked out to the kitchen. Once you went to the kitchen, you went straight to the fridge and pulled out pickles and peanut butter form the cabinet.  One thing you could never get used to being pregnant, were the weird cravings. Without hesitation, you opened the jar of peanut butter and took a knife you had gotten out from the drawers. Taking a large pickle, you spread the peanut butter on the pickle. You then took a large bite out of the pickle and for some strange reason, the bizarre treat made you moan in pleasure. Pregnancy, it does weird things to a woman. You were about to take another bite when a familiar voice spooked you from behind.

“(Name).” The gruff voice called you, making you jump and drop your midnight snack. You whipped your whole body to see that it was Castiel right behind you, doing what he always did to you and the boys, scaring the living daylights out of you. 

“Jeeze, Cas!” You yell whispered when you saw the trench coat wearing angel in front of you. ���Why do you do that?! Warn a girl next time!”

“Pardon my intrusion on your…” He looked at what was looking down at the food you dropped and back at you. “Nourishment? I know I am not knowledgeable about human cuisine, but I’m sure pickles and peanut butter sound awful together.” He observed as you picked up the pickle and threw in in the trash. 

“Yeah, I know. But I can’t help it, Cas.” You walked away and washed your hands again so that you can’t another peanut butter covered pickle. The cravings just would let up, even though you weren’t hungry. “Where were you?”

“I was in Israel, it’s officially heaven’s business so I can’t reveal much.” Castiel answered with a dull and gruff response.

“I guess. Now can you please leave so that I can eat my midnight snack in peace?” You snapped but then regrated snapping at your friend when you saw the hurt look on his face. “I’m sorry, Cas. I’m just having a rough week.”

“I can see that, and I can see that you are not being yourself. Your mood has changed much, and your appearance seemed…altered.” Castiel noted making you look at him slightly nervous. You stayed calm, not wanting him to grow more suspicious of your condition. 

“Like what?” You asked.

“Your face is more flushed, your more irritated and then return to your normal self within a second and you seem have this aura around you. A glow you would say.” Castiel explained and you look up at him, your eyes round like saucers.

“What do you mean ‘glow’, Cas?” You asked. 

“The glow of new life.” Castiel avowed making you squirm. “New life that is growing inside of you, (Name). You are with child.” Castiel correctly analyzed and your jaw dropped. 

“How did you know?” You asked, feeling like the air had left your lungs. 

“I can feel a second heartbeat coming it from you, and the lifeforce is very strong and pure. The light of every expecting human mother has throughout their pregnancy. The child is Dean’s, I am sure?” He asked a little too loud for your taste and covered his mouth with a sush. 

“Keep it down, or Sam or Dean are going to here you!” In a loud whisper while you kept your hand on Castiel’s mouth. “Yes, it is Dean’s but I haven’t told him yet.”

“Why not? I am sure Dean would be jovial about you expecting his child.” He asked while being genuinely confused. 

“Because Dean told me at lunch yesterday that he doesn’t want child. Ever.” You retorted bitterly when you then chopped on another pickle covered in peanut butter. 

“Ever?” Castiel raised an eyebrow at your statement, taken aback by what Dean had told you.

“Yes and he said his decision was ‘Absolute and full-on non-negotiable’.” You mocked your boyfriend’s words using air quotes and took another bite of your pickle, not caring how disgusting the idea of eating a pickle with peanut butter on it. 

“So, Dean isn’t going to change mind on it huh?” Castiel asked while your crunched on your snack and shook your head and rolled your eyes. “Then, want are you going to do? You and I both know how stubborn Dean is, and he’s not going to budge. When he decides on something, he is unlikely to change his mind.” 

“I know Cas!” You whined while you turned away from him and placed you hand on your head in frustration, groaning in frustration at what to do about your difficult position. “I have no idea what to do. I’m pregnant with Dean’s child! A child he doesn’t want! He told me that we shouldn’t be having a kid as hunters. I thought that I could convince him to leave the hunting life! That we can live normal life, but no! he said that there is no way he would be able to leave the life permanently! And it’s true! No matter how bad it was, he will always be pulled back into the life, one way or another! Our kid will never be safe!” You whispered yelled again, trying to make sure that you stayed quiet so that you wouldn’t wake Dean or Sam up. “You remembered what happened to Lisa and Ben, you are the one that erased their memories and Dean had to say goodbye, forever. I don’t want that to happened and I don’t to risk my child’s life.” You wanted to cry right then and there as the tears began to surface in your eyes. It seemed like all your emotions that you had bottled up for the past week were piling up. Now, you had just gotten the news that the love of your life doesn’t want kids, breaking your heart, while pregnant with his child. You start to weep silently but horribly. Covering your face with your hands, sobbing your aching heart out. Castiel, feeling every emotion that’s troubling you, walked up to you and embraced you in a tight hug. You wrapped your arms around Castiel’s shoulders, trying to find some sort of comfort from one of your best friends. You cried in Castiel’s chest staining his shirt. You were truly lost at what to do about your situation. Until, Castiel had spoken up and it made you wish he didn’t mention it.

“There is another option, (Name).” Castiel uttered quietly and then you looked up at him with a tear-stained face.

“What?” you speak up after crying your eyes out.

“You could get a-” 

“No!” You yell-whisper as you pushed him away from you, knowing very well what he was suggesting.

“Why?! (Name), you’re not seriously considering of having this baby?!” Castiel kept his voice low as he yelled but the anger was clear on his voice. 

“I’m not killing my baby, Cas.” You cried, feeling offended that the angel would even contemplate something as heartless as what Castiel was proposing. You knew what he was talking. He was asking you to abort your child. Castiel’s tone and expression came back to a calmer and more compassionate demeanor, regretting he even brought it up.

“I understand, (Name). I’m sorry for even considering it.  But you need to know Dean is not going to change his mind. His stubbornness knows no bounds, and so will his anger when he finds out that you had been hiding this pregnancy from him.”  He stated truthfully. “There is still time to consider your options. I suggest you do it before Dean finds out, or you may pay a much bigger price then what you feared, (Name).” Castiel walked away from you to who knows where, leaving you alone. The feeling of hopelessness overwhelmed you as you placed you hand on your stomach. What are you going to do?

….

    You went to back to bed with Dean, while trying to keep your distance from him. Still not getting a wink of sleep, you nevertheless got up when morning came and took a shower. You felt like you were on autopilot after your conversation with Castiel throughout the entire week.  You barely spoke to Dean and shot down any date night ideas. When Dean tried to give you physical affection and you had been pushing him away. Growing tired already of your attitude, he confronted you about it. 

“(Name), I have had enough of this. I’m tired of this silent treatment you had been giving me for the past week.” Dean snarled at you while you and making a list for your weekly supply run. You didn’t look at him as you replied to him.

“Dean, I really am not in the mood right now. I need to figure out what we need for the rest of the week.” You huffed at your boyfriend while going over the list you made. You wanted to go to the store so that you could clear your head from all the drama that you had been experiencing. It wasn’t good for your or the baby to be feeling stressed out. Dean, not appreciating his girlfriend’s indifference from him, grew angry. To get you to speak it him, he grabbed the list. Making you yelled and reach out for the piece of paper. “Dean! Give that back!”

“Not until you talk to me, (Name)! I’m not going to stand you ignoring me anymore and I have to know what is that matter with you!” He shot back as he took the list far out of your reach. You decided to relent and folded your arms, looking to get this talk with Dean over with.

“Fine, go ahead.” You demanded. 

“You have been really snippy with me lately and have been shooting down date nights and barely even let me hold you or touch you for the past week. Whenever I try to ask you what is wrong, you just barked at me and tell me to leave you alone. I feel like we are not even together anymore because of how distant you have become and it’s frankly getting to me!” He vented at you, while you stood as still as a statue looking at him. Dean’s expression soften a little, knowing that being cross with you was not going to work. You were your father’s daughter after all and Bobby never liked Dean talking back to him. “Please, just tell me what’s going on. It’s killing me that you aren’t talking to me. Did I say something? Do something? Is it the whole baby situation?” Dean begged as he began to let himself get more emotional and it made you feel a bit sorry for him. Does he really deserve this neglect that you had been giving him? No, Dean was a good person and it’s not his fault for him not wanting kids due his childhood. You understand him, you really do. No one wants to repeat the cycle of bad childhood experiences. It still doesn’t help the fact you were pregnant and refuse to tell him. It hurt too much to know that he won’t accept his own child. 

‘Maybe you just need some more time, you will tell him when the time is right.’

  Your conscious trying to reason and calm you from getting too heated, needing to think about the baby. You sigh sadly and dropped your arms to side. You don’t want to continue to fight with him, not when you loved him this much. In time, you will tell him and then you both can decide on what to do. 

“Dean, I’m sorry. I didn’t to make you feel like you weren’t loved and neglected. I do love you. I know you said you don’t want kids, and I understand. I just feel disappointed is all.” You said, feeling guilty that you were not telling Dean the whole truth. You feel like you were lying to him and that made you feel like the worst girlfriend ever. “I just need some air and being in this bunker is not good for me. When I get back from the grocery store, we can go out, Okay?” You sweetly asked him with a small smile to him. Dean relaxed and returned the smile as he gave you the list you were working on. Once he gave you back the piece of paper. You grabbed your jacket and purse before giving Dean a kiss on the lips before heading to the Bunker door. “I’ll see you later, okay?” 

“Okay, Love you.” He said looking at you with as you walked out the door. 

….

   You walked through the aisles of the store, nearly almost done getting your supplies for the week. You were now in the bakery section of the store looking at the different varieties of pie being sold in the bakery. You eyed one delicious looking apple pie freshly baked on the rack. You thought about getting it for Dean, hoping it might cheer him up after all the drama between you two. You asked the nice elderly woman if she could box up the pie you were eying. She packed the box right away and you said thank you for her help when you put the pie in the cart. You began to walk toward the frozen aisle to get the ice cream for the pie when someone had got in front of you. You bumped into them and looked up to see a dark-haired woman with tan skin standing in front of you. 

“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t see you there. Are you okay?” You asked the lady in front of you. 

“I’m fine, but I’m afraid I can’t say the same for you, (Name) Singer.” She said and blink her once golden-brown eyes and suddenly turned to pitch black. Your eyes grew wide and by pure instinct, you opened your flask and threw some Holy water on the demon woman, making her scream. You ran from the scene and suddenly heard the woman screaming from the aisle. “GET HER!” Screamed the demon as a few other demons began to run after you and all the parking lot. You reached for the impala when you were caught by a pair of strong arms.

“There is no escape for you, little girl!” Sneered the male demon that was holding you hostage. Knowing that you need to protect your baby, you reached for your demon knife and with all your strength to stab the demon in the eye. He cried out as you pulled the demon knife from his eye and kicked him out of the way. You quickly got into the car and started the engine. You left the parking lot and drove off back to the bunker. You picked up your cellphone to call Dean to tell him what had happened. 

“(Name)! what up?” Dean answered the call after the first ring.

“Dean, I just got ambushed by a bunch of demons at the supermarket! They’re after me!” You panicked into your cellphone keeping your eyes on the road.

“What?! Are you okay?! Where are you?!”  Dean yelled worriedly through the t other line as you looked back to see a couple of cars speeding towards you and looked back and gasp when you saw two other cars that suddenly appeared out of nowhere, stopping you from going any further. You dropped the Cellphone, with Dean still on the other line. “(Name)! what happened?!” Dean continued to yell on th phone while a large black guy came at your door and ripped the door open while a white guy that was equal to his size grabbed you from your seat and dragged you out. 

“Let me go!!! The Winchesters are going to kill you when they find you!” You threatened as you struggled in the arms of the man holding you. A car pulled up as more people got out of the cars. You figured that they were all demons. The car pulled forward and out came the woman you splashed holy water at the store. You scowled at the demoness as she stepped closer to you. “Dean will find me and when he does, he’s going to kill you.” You threaten and all the demons snickered at you. 

“Where we are taking you, Dean won't have a God damn chance of finding you. When we are finished with you, we will send you back to him piece by piece.” She smirked as she looked behind you at the demon that was holding you. She nodded and sudden intense pain hit you. Everything turned black making you completely helpless at the hands of demons that could do anything to you.

Chapter 3

[occult-castiel]

Just thinking about the fact that they had the biggest ressurection set up in the whole show -- every demon and angel sleeping in the empty, had Cas wake up from there, had Heaven about to turn the lights off cause there weren't enough angels in heaven, had narratively forced Cas to go back there, and just... didn't do any??thing?? With the obvious solution?

What was to stop them from going in there, Dean grabbing Cas, and then have Cas, barely awake, grabbing into Dean cause he can barely stand after his second Empty wake up, stopping them and saying they can't leave the others.

And then they wake everyone up. We get cameos (could be singular shots cause it was filmed during covid) from everyone favs or the more past plot point relevant people, and now Heaven will be fine and maybe they have an army to help fight Chuck. And then that happens Amara becomes God so Jack can be a kid and not lose his personality to become creepy and God.

And then when everything is quited down, Dean and Cas get a soft moment where words are said, on screen kiss, Sam gets to be a little brother and interrupts to have them come out of the room for something. Cas leaves, and when he does maybe Sam makes a face at dean over the kiss, but then smiles and pats dean on the back and says he's happy for him.

Shot of them all walking to the main room together, and everyone they've ever cared about is there and it's time to celebrate. We get a nice Hello boys from Crowley. Rowena, queen of hell, gets to say something about being pleased women are on top in heaven and hell. Shots of other characters smiling. Donna brought food, Jody brought beer. Wayward sisters appearance. We don't get to see those that died, but everyone living is there. Of course Sam gravitated toward Eileen.

And idk maybe Amara shows up and says her brother was responsible for the amount of monsters in the world, and under her care the population will dwindle, and she hopes that that's a nice parting gift for them.

And then Tema free will gets to look at each other and day something like "well, if that's true, guess we'll have to remodle." Or some shit idk. Just something to make it clear that they don't have to hunt anymore.

Theres good finale shots of everyone. Rowena hugging Crowley. Donna and Jody chit chating having a nice time. Jacks hanging out with the wayward sisters. Last shots we see of the brothers is Sam being bad at flirting with Eileen, Dean leaning in to whisper something to Cas, smiling. They're holding hands.

It goes to the table, where the initials are. We see either cas and Jack added, or everyone there has taken turns adding their name.

It fades to black.

At least that's my ideal ending, that doesn't tip toe too far into more fanfic-like things.

[myalchod]

Ben/Rose + #3

Just murder me now and save yourself the trouble. 😂

3. a kiss goodbye - [ also on AO3 ]

Their marriage begins with a kiss.

It’s a formality, maybe; it’s far from the first kiss they’ve shared, but there’s an underlayer of solemnity to doing so in front of friends and family and stepping briefly away from the war they’ve both become hopelessly embroiled in to acknowledge this step. The sobriety doesn’t last long — couldn’t, in the face of Andreas’ raucous catcall — but before Ben can pull back to protest Rose has lifted one hand to flip the specialist off even as the other fists in Ben’s tie to pull him closer, and the assembled crowd quickly dissolves into laughter. This, thinks Rose Wheeler — Rose Harvey, now — isn’t at all a bad way to start the next phase of her life.

There’s no time for making a proper start on things, no honeymoon or even visits to either of their family homes. They celebrate late into the night in the company of those who’ve been able to come to Alfea for the wedding, but even with life marching on the war does too, and in the morning reality intrudes once again. Rings and kisses exchanged may have sealed their vows, but none of those prevent him from being called back to the general’s side, leaving her to a greenhouse filled with medicinal orders to fill. She battles the endless stream of injuries, front-line and civilian alike, and tries not to think too hard of what her husband and their friends are facing out there, or of the all-too-real possibility that one of them may one day be carried through her infirmary door.

When he does return, however, it’s on his own two feet, exhausted but physically unharmed. The kiss he gives her is distracted, as though his body may be here but his mind is still in the field, and she cannot entirely blame him — not when she has her own concerns, her own distractions to attend to. Supplies are running low and she needs to get back to the greenhouse and the plants due to be forced into bloom for the next round of replenishments, just as strained as she feels these days. It is only the space of a moment before he is gone again, it seems, and though they spend the nights together, she can hardly remember them. Perhaps, she thinks, they had been hasty, but surely after nearly ten years together she knows him well enough to be sure of her choice.

I’m pregnant, she writes him when her periods do not come for several months. Once could be stress, hardly surprising with the state of everything, but a second time is unlikely when she’s always been regular as clockwork, and a third is long enough for her to confirm it. He does not reply, but letters get lost all the time in the chaos beyond Alfea’s barrier, and it does not surprise her when her announcement is met with silence. She is eight months along, short-tempered and increasingly ungainly, by the time he comes home again. “Rotating out,” he says tersely when she asks, his own irritation plain, though he apologises once he has slept and showered and eaten, kisses her hands and her stomach and murmurs softly remorseful words. He had always wanted children, when they’d discussed it before; the timing may be far from ideal, but they aren’t getting any younger, and with everything ahead …

“If you get yourself killed out there, I’ll murder you,” she tells him as he prepares to leave once his reprieve is over. Sam is swaddled against her chest, a tiny bundle; Ben laughs, kisses his downy head, drops another on her brow before he lets her pull him in for a more solid one. “That goes for both of you,” she adds over his shoulder to Andreas, who just grins and blows her a kiss of his own. For a moment she can believe the levity is real but then they go, leaving her to sleepless nights and increasing strain, and she once again feels as if the world is drawing tight about her.

(He returns again, ten months after Sam is born, but this time the tension does not ease. There is a desperation to the press of her mouth against his in the dark, trying to find something of who they had been. Afterwards she lies there sleepless, wondering if she’d found it or if that, too, has been lost on the battlefield.)

When he walks through Alfea’s gates at the end of the war, it should have been a triumph, or at least a relief. He is home, after all, and that should be that. But their cottage feels too small, crowded with everything he will not speak of and all she bites back, and she is tired — tired beyond reason, beyond what her pregnancy justifies, even this close to term and with a child not yet two still demanding so much of her attention. He is not the boy she had met across the greenhouse benches, not the man who’d awkwardly courted her with flowers carefully chosen for meanings and plant he knew she’d appreciate; the tenderness is perfunctory, nearly an afterthought, and though she does not think he means it she is not sure what he means. She is not sure she knows him at all anymore.

When he holds Terra for the first time, smiling down at her with eyes gone soft, she thinks: maybe I do, even after everything that’s happened. He kisses her gently as he hands their daughter back to her, and she finds herself hoping that what they once had is not lost.

But nothing is the same. Everything has felt off balance since he returned: Andreas’ absence is a void she cannot ignore, Farah and Saul changed even more than Ben by whatever had happened out there, and the secrets that stretch between them form a veil she cannot pierce. She watches, trying to puzzle out all that goes unspoken, but in the end it is to no avail. She is drowning in his silences and, whether it is a matter of will not or cannot, all that matters is that he does not speak.

(She tries. Their children are too young, and so she tries and he tries, but it is not enough.)

She kisses him for the last time with her bags packed, car keys a leaden weight in her pocket that is still less than the heaviness in her heart. Neither of them can live like this — and she knows that she is the one who no longer fits here. He will not admit it, but he knows it too.

“I still —”

She sets her fingers against his mouth to silence him, and then her mouth, an even more fleeting touch, before she turns away. He does not stop her and she does not look back. Not until Alfea is little more than a pinprick in her rearview mirror does she put her fingers to her own mouth to press back a sob with the last of his touch.

He had tasted like the death of dreams, the end of an era. (He had tasted like goodbye.)

[ ask me another ] [ all answers ]

[ariel-seagull-wings]

FICTIONAL CHARACTER ASK: JANICE

Asked by @princesssarisa 

@softlytowardthesun @themousefromfantasyland @moonbeamelf @fragglesesamemuppetz2 @angelixgutz @the-blue-fairie @thealmightyemprex @amalthea9 

Favorite Thing About Them: She is a genuinelly sensitive, sweet, kind and empathetic person who has the ability to easily make friends and a competent performer in the fields of music and acting who greatly values team work rather than competing for attention with her colleagues.

Least Favorite Thing About Them: How the writers of the 2015 ABC sitcom the muppets. portrayed Janice as so over the top ditzy that she acted passive and with no opinions or desires of her own while the male characters Sam the Eagle, Floyd Pepper and Dr Teeth treated her as an object of dispute wich they were entitled to have as a romantic partner.

Three Things I Have In Common With Them:

* I have a tambourine;

* I love colorfull clothes made of light fabric;

* I love rock and roll music;

Three Things I Don’t Have In Common With Them:

* I’m not a member of a band;

* I’m not as chill as she is;

* I don’t have long blonde hair;

Favorite Line:

From the movie The Great Muppet Caper:

“…and I said, ‘Look mother, it’s my life o-kay? And if I want to live on a beach and walk around naked, I–”

From the movie The Muppets Take Manhattan:

"So I told him 'Look, buddy, I don't take my clothes off for anybody, even if it is artistic’”

From the comic Muppet King Arthur, where she played the humourous and witty Lady of the Lake:

“Call me Janice. That was my name before I, like, became one with nature”.

“Rock never hurt anyone. Well, except for scissors. Poor scissors”.

From the comic Muppet Robin Hood, where she plays the healer Willa Scarlet (a genderbent Will Scarlet):

“Oh yeah, like, going back to nature is sooo real, man, fer sure. You’ll like dig it, totally! These trees can teach us lessons, man”.

From the comic Muppet Peter Pan, where she played the role of Wendy Darling:

“Like, I’m detecting some rilly unresolved anger issues, fer sure”...

“A nice fruit salad is very cleansing for the system”.

“It never hurts to try to be, like, totally diplomatic and make friends!”

“I’m ready to grow up, now. Yeah, I even know what I want to do when I grow up! I wanna Rock and Roll!”

“Hey, dad, at least it’s, like, totally american... fer sure!”

From the comic Muppet Snow White, where she played the dwarf Happy:

“You’re like my favorite fairytale character. Next to Wendy from Muppet Peter  Pan”.

brOTP: Rowlf the Dog, Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, Animal, Bean Bunny, Scooter, Skeeter, Miss Piggy, Annie Sue Pig, Spamela Hamderson, Zondra, Darci, Charlie (Solid Foam's Drummer), Dolores (Trumpet Girl), Wanda.

OTP: Skeeter, Zoot, Floyd Pepper.

nOTP: Dr Teeth, Lips, Sam the Eagle.

Random Headcanon: She was born in San Francisco, and in one side of her family she has lebanese heritage, wich is aparent in her lips, eyes and olive skin tone, while on the other side she has german-irish heritage, wich is aparent in her blonde hair.

Unpopular Opinion: Her toddler design with open eyes and already big lips in 1984's Muppet Babies looks pretty unsetling. The illustrations for the Muppet Kids books reached a better natural look for a young Janice, with more subtle lipstick around her lips and her characteristic closed eyes.

Song I Associate With Them:

Black Bird

Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover

With A Little Help from My Friends

Earth Song

It's In Hiss Kiss

Rockin All Around the World

Favorite Picture of Them:

In her early concept sketch drawing, when she was originally idealized as an androgynus male identified character inspired by Mick Jagger

As a preteen alongside Skeeter and Miss Piggy in two illustrations of the Muppet Kids picture book New Girl In Town

Alongside fellow Valley Girl Moon Zappa, actress and daughter of rock musician Frank Zappa

In her beautifull tye-die dress portraying Wendy Darling in the comic Muppet Peter Pan (alongside Scooter as John Darling, Bean Bunny as Michael Darling, Kermit the Frog as Peter Pan and Miss Piggy as Piggytink)

Portrayed in a gala dress by Muppet Peter Pan artist @amymebberson

Another art by @amymebberson portraying her and Skeeter with buttons in support of Miss Piggy

With Floyd Pepper and Elton John

Just chilling out

[gone-series-orchid]

coates scene, innocence, fairytales

also something i forgot to reference is that orc and astrid are jaded romantics—she describes her past self as an innocent with romantic daydreams, and drake mockingly asks orc if he’s astrid’s “knight in shining armor” and if she’ll fulfill that staple of courtly tales of chivalry, a “kiss [on] his big gravel face.” orc doesn’t refute this, because it’s implicitly true. both astrid and orc are just kids with little to no experience with real world romance. they’re still innocent. they rely on the framework of narratives/archetypes they’ve consumed to illustrate their desires and wants because that’s all they know.

astrid can’t have sex with sam because it doesn’t fit her romantic conceptions of what her first time should be like. she refuses to capitulate even when it contributes to ending her relationship with sam. if her ideas of what her story should be like don’t fit reality, she throws it out. she can’t take anything less, her idealism has been too worn down to concede any more.

orc knows he’s a monster. he’s resigned to this fact and he thus tries to kill himself over it. he goes to astrid to protect her from drake, knowing the latter hates her. but he doesn’t end up saving her from the human crew, even when she’s calling out to him; it’s edilio that does that. still, he goes with her to coates, joining her in her exile, because she’ll be safe from drake there. orc is still her implied protector just by virtue of his presence. a monster in love with the beautiful maiden—that’s an image echoed by many fairytales and fables.

but the monster always turns into a prince at the end. and orc isn’t a noble monster, anyway—he leers at his ostensible love, more like a villain than a hero. and why not? in orc’s unhappy eyes he is the villain. the savage. and a villain can’t be criticized for performing his role. hence the bounding up the stairs. he’s not astrid’s knight in shining armor, he’s the monster who’s going to consume her and her innocence.

drake’s arrival jolts things back into place. drake is the true monster who wants to hurt astrid, not orc. that’s what he tells himself. he recognizes his hypocrisy— “but wasn’t he going to do the same thing to astrid?”—but it hurts to dwell on. so he doesn’t.

drake realizes orc’s violent, sexually charged impulse for what it is. he rejects the idea of orc being a platonic protector of astrid because he knows that’s not what orc is. he’s a monster just like him. they’re more alike than they realize.

astrid hasn’t been attacked, but she has still suffered a painful loss of innocence. she’s killed her brother. how villainous is that? so she rejects the christian framework altogether (another set of archetypes and morals wrapped up in narratives). she doesn’t fit, so she throws herself out. she plunges into the unknown, both physically and spiritually, to piece her identity back together.

[variousqueerthings]

wrote a long post about subtle changes i would have put into s3 of ted lasso to set it up as a four-part show, accidentally wrote another post now about potential s4 stuff (but do not have it in me to write out an episode by episode structure post)

but also really the main gist is that why I was initially confused at the 3-season structure (and then I felt right in having felt it should have been longer when I did watch the season, despite liking where it ultimately landed on those final scenes), was that everything barring ted himself felt like it needed a bit more time

if ted ended s3 by making his decision and telling rebecca (either on or off screen, but if it were cliff-hanger I'd say off) and then having all of s4 setting that up while he's in a much better place to help others with their various things after a s3 where he was so in his own head that he wasn't a very good coach for almost all of it -- and then also a story about when he's planning on telling the team

if one could have fully dealt with sam's narrative about being hounded for standing up for his ideals and grounded him more centrally and built up to him joining the nigerian national team, rather than jumping to it, and given proper space to his interpersonal relationships (such as with the woman managing his restaurant, sorry I forget her name rn)

if nate could have had a whole season after being with west ham where he's back with the team, in which he could have, yes, made it up to some people, but also dealt with how it felt to be with west ham and before that, how he was treated by his teammates, his girlfriend, and even his own father

if rebecca could have had that whole season after their manchester win to go "oh wait, I really don't care what my husband thinks of me" while getting to share scenes with both his ex-wife and his current (but also soon-to-be-ex) wife, showing the three of them in a supportive space recovering from being in a relationship with a manipulative, cheating, controlling man

if keeley could have a whole season building her company with her new, more financially savvy and more organised friend at her side, barbara, while not centering romantic relationships/having her realise that she really can be okay without one (whether or not she is with anyone by the end, but actually giving it a whole season's worth of time)

if there could be a whole fallout/supportive trend after colin publicly kissed his boyfriend on the football pitch, to really give us more actual delving into what it means to be out as a male football player, and perhaps isaac taking that on himself as both his best friend and team captain, and how that plays out in contrast to perhaps other teams, none of which would have out players

if roy and jamie kind of... I guess continued along the lines they were doing, but really got to get into the former's feelings about being "old" in football terms, but not really that old at all, and the latter's relationship with his father (and yeah, I'm a roy/jamie/keeley fan, so scenes that let the three of them be mutually supportive and effortlessly close with one another)

with trent crimm's own narrative continuing to be that of documenting and pulling together the structure

and all of that with a main storyline on building a women's football team and centering keeley's storyline around that as well (also soooo many gay characters then, for realism 😜 also I know two non-binary football players who play semipro personally, there's more than that, so that could be a storyline too...)

just a bit more time youknow

it would have first of all given a final season that broadens the world they're in more, after a third season that wasn't trying to wrap things up and so maybe gave us a bit more west ham/just football beyond the tiny sphere of richmond

and crucially that things weren't flattened to make them get to the ending faster (things like how some characters had done some really nasty stuff (rupert, jamie's dad), but at some point characters just went *ah well, but I'm over it enough to start moving on,* or how sam never quite got to carry an ongoing dramatic arc that wasn't solved with a handwave that didn't give enough weight to how serious his narrative was, or whatever jade's deal was and how she wasn't nice to nate (and neither was coach beard's gf) and the rushedness of keeley's company and need for romantic partnership to feel safe in herself, etc.)

I really liked the ethos of the show and I enjoyed watching it, but I do not believe that three seasons was the intended structure, and I think if I knew for sure that was the case, I'd be more shrug-and-move-on of some of its rushedness than I am now, where I'm trying to understand what prompted those choices if indeed they were deliberate. because there was a lot of unexplored territory for almost every character, I think especially the characters of colour (nate with how he was treated and sam with his politically deeper storylines) and the female characters (keeley with her business, potentially rebecca with her kinship with bex)

like how the sense8 movie could never in a million years have paid off all the plot that came before, but we're just glad for the catharsis

also lastly, it could have still setup a potential spinoff centering the woman's team entirely, if that was something one wanted to do

[peternumber4]

nwh gave me So Many Ideas

mcu peter has no friends or family. he's all alone. as much as i want them to fix this (ASAP, one spider boy can only take so much) imagine the POSSIBILITIES

they could introduce harry osborn like they have in the past spiderman franchises. i never talk about it but harry osborn was such a great addition to peter parker's character. the hot, brooding, sarcastic best friend who masks his intelligence, and has major daddy issues. i know ned is sort of the harry replacement in the mcu but i'm greedy so why can't we have both. i imagine they'd meet through either college courses or an internship and become quick friends. peter is in desperate need of a new support system and it could come in the form of a character that is already familiar to previous spiderman fans.

(i know that it's so unlikely that this would happen after green goblin was already introduced in the mcu as a multiversal villain but if every multiverse has a peter, every multiverse has a harry... right? it would be interesting to watch peter struggle to trust harry because his father in an alternate universe was responsible for may's death—and i stand by that whether harry ends up as a villain or an ally)

on the topic of past spiderman movies, it would also be an incredible addition to bring in some gwen stacy action too. obviously not romantically, i love petermj too much for that, but she could join a bonus friend group made up of her, harry, and peter to make up for the one he lost by the spell. also she would balance out harry's bad attitude. i imagine their dynamic would be that of james franco harry osborn, emma stone gwen stacy, and tom holland peter parker. like that would just be so *chefs kiss*

also, one of my favorite possibilities, is that they could bring back HARLEY KEENER. (oh boy am i passionate about this one) the mcu is so incredible and they hardly ever do things without a reason and they brought ty simpkins back for tony's funeral. they brought him back once, WHY NOT BRING HIM BACK AGAIN? imagine him and harley meet (or possibly room together) at a community college in new york and become instant friends. peter is so grateful because he's finally able to find someone that he can be himself with, after losing everyone else he loved and trusted. and little does he know, it's tony's other genius kid

ALSO ALSO ALSO i am in love with the idea of young avengers, correct? there will be a LOng ass post about that to come but in an ideal world, peter and kate bishop would both be part of it. imagine before all of that happens, kate and peter meet somehow (a chance encounter in a coffee shop, a shared college class, running into each other when a villain attacks new york, kate seeking peter out for a new ally—quite literally endless possibilities) and become friends. i can just picture the quips and insults they would send back and forth. just imagine peter being like that one scene in civil war where he won't shut up while fighting sam and bucky, and then kate being like that scene in hawkeye where clint is completely deaf and she keeps trying to talk to him. their combined dumbass energy is incredible and i need it to happen.

anyways thank you for coming to my ted talk, there will be way more to come. i am a little obsessed with mcu if you can't tell and i have So much to say

[ksfoxwald]

Fire and Hemlock Readalong: Part 4 Chapter 5

Following instructions

Polly goes back to Granny's, mulling over the two ballads. Her Tom is most like Thomas the Rhymer, having been turned loose on the world with a gift; it likely happened at the funeral, while Polly was switching the pictures around. In fact, she suspects the pictures were also tied to the gift, considering Tom's earlier interest in photography, but she foiled Laurel twice by first giving him the "good" pictures and then by inventing Tan Coul, tying herself to the gift with something Laurel does not have any claim over.

Granny's memory seems to have been jogged a bit by hearing the ballads, because she remembers Tom now; and is able to tell Polly about Polly's grandfather, also named Tom, who was taken just before Reg was born. Something about living in proximity to the House helps her remember, which is why she lives where she does. It's another way Granny is being heroic.

They go to Polly's room to look at the Fire and Hemlock photo - Granny suspects the Leroys couldn't get at her through it because it was Tom's to give - and between the photo and the backing is a lock of Tom's hair. It's the Obah Cypt, which they never figured out, even though they came close - earlier Polly had claimed it was a "locket with Tan Coul's hair inside it."

The rest is a simple matter of following the instructions in the ballad - go to Miles Cross on Halloween Night, and hold on to your true love. Polly does so.

It turns out that there is in fact a cross at Miles Cross, much like at Stow-on-the-Water; I'd vaguely assumed it meant crossroads, a more magical motif, but perhaps in this case it references both. It's interesting that Diana brings up the Christian tradition here. Oftentimes in folklore it's used to ward off fae or supernatural influences, but it doesn't seem to be doing that here. It might be a representation of Diana's own thoughts on the influence of Christianity on heroic tradition, as mentioned in "The Heroic Ideal"; traditional heroes are connected to the gods - like Odysseus favored by Athena - but the Christian God "watches over everyone" and thus anyone can invoke heroism.

Polly waits by the cross, feeling silly, but she has learned a lot more about being a hero and continues on through the feeling. And her motives have matured now beyond waiting for an excuse to fight Mira Anderton in the playground to prove herself, to something truly heroic and selfless.

It was not because of the things Fiona had said, or Granny, or because she was determined not to be embarrassed off this time. It was not even because Tom had given her an awkward, sideways goodbye kiss. It was because this really was the only was she knew to prevent certain murder.

At first Polly sees no one but a crowd of drunken youths - until she notices one of the youths is Leslie. The Leroys are not far behind. As the yellow horse-car foreshadowed, the Leroys arrive in cars, and four figures emerge from one. First is Ed in black, then Sam in brown, and third comes Tom in white, with Ann behind. That part is true to the ballad. But just as Laurel's gift is not quite Thomas the Rhymer's, Polly will be unable to keep Tom merely by holding on to him.

[themculibrary]

AO3 Fics Masterlist 4

Links Last Checked: April 13th, 2024

part one, part two, part three, part five, part six

5+1 Pepper and Natasha (ao3) - in_motu_proprio pepper/natasha E, 11k

Summary: The five times Natasha relieved Pepper’s stress and the one time Pepper relieved Natasha’s.

Adagio (ao3) - Lurkz pepper/natasha, pepper/tony, implied steve/tony T, 31k

Summary: It was supposed to be just an assignment. Falling for the person she was supposed to protect wasn’t really in the plan. But when do plans ever stay the same?

a line that goes all the way (ao3) - napricot steve/bucky E, 45k

Summary: "About six months after he left Bucky in cryostasis in Wakanda, Steve got a text from an unidentified number: He is awake and well, and wants to see you."

Steve and Bucky reunite and reconnect, with some help from modern technology.

A Marriage of Inconvenience (ao3) - WhinyWingedWinchester loki/tony, natasha/thor, odin/frigga M, 80k

Summary: Forced into an arranged marriage with Prince Loki of Aysgarth, Tony knows that he is not the ideal husband to the son of a king, but he still hopes that he might find true love with his husband like the stories he loves to read of adventures and happily-ever-afters.

Prince Loki, however, does not wish to be married, and he makes this clear to Tony even after their vows have been said before the priest. Life is no better for Tony in Castle Aysgarth than it was back in Iron Reach - he is as unwanted by Loki as he was by his father.

But slowly, things change. There is a steadily growing affection between them, something that might, perhaps, grow into more and Tony can only hope his love for Loki might one day be returned.

But then an assassin strikes unexpectedly, pirates attack, and Tony very well might be living an adventure from one of his books, but it looks like happily-ever-after might be too much to hope for.

Amaryllis (ao3) - paperstorm steve/bucky E, 70k

Summary: So do I remind you of someone you’ve never met, a lonely silhouette? And do I remind you of somewhere you want to be, so far out of reach? I wish you’d open up for me, ‘cause I want to know you … amaryllis bloom. // In 19th century Europe, Bucky and Steve are members of neighboring royal families. Steve is the heir to a throne he does not want, and Bucky is the neglected third child waiting to be married off and forgotten about. Trapped in unhappy lives by seemingly immovable circumstances, they find a way out in each other.

Barnes Family Motors, Inc. (ao3) - phlintandsteel bucky/tony E, 68k

Summary: In a world where alphas legally own omegas, Bucky is just a small time mechanic from Brooklyn who gets lucky in a poker game. Tony is an omega whose life is fraught with abuse, until his luck suddenly takes a turn for the better.

In the grand scheme of things they may only be able to make little differences in the lives of those around them, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth making them. After all, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Better When I’m With You (ao3) - thelilacfield wanda/vision T, 69k

Summary: He’s had a number of firsts. Virginia Reed, his first crush. Wanda Maximoff, his first kiss. Eve Simon, his first heartbreak. Mandy Fournier, the first girl who said yes when he asked her to dance. And he’s becoming increasingly certain that Sam Wilson is his first love.

Vision writes a letter each time he has a crush so consuming he can’t forget it. They are tiny pieces of his heart, written out for his eyes only, a way to say goodbye.

Until the day they’re sent out.

Cheeseburgers, Tech and Steve (ao3) - LagLemon steve/tony E, 97k

Summary: Steve’s known that there are other worlds out there; he just hasn’t paid much attention to them. Living with Bucky and helping out the Avengers is a full time job, and he doesn’t have time to daydream about things like that when he can hear about them at work. When they get called in to investigate the appearance and deaths of Incubi and Succubi civil war survivors, they find that a portal has been opened between their two worlds. Wanting to do the right thing, Steve offers to go through and talk to those in charge - only he didn’t count on getting stuck on the other side of the portal.

Once he’s back on earth, though, he’s got a whole new problem on his hands. An annoyingly brilliant Incubus has followed him back and he’s left to deal with the mess all by himself.

Countdown (ao3) - ShesLikeTexas steve/tony, pepper/happy, bucky/natasha E, 96k

Summary: Mob Boss Steve Rogers kidnaps Tony Stark and gives him 365 days to fall in love with him.

Demonique (ao3) - BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) steve/bucky E, 39k

Summary: “Oh come on, Steve. You look at me like you want to put me on a pedestal and worship me. You look at Barnes like you want to tear his clothes off with your teeth. Tell me why you two aren’t...?” Peggy smirks at him, because of course this amuses her greatly.

Steve fidgets, trying not to blush. “Peggy, I can’t—“

Peggy steps closer. “Steve. Is this an American peculiarity? Because in the British army, as long as you’re discreet, that sort of thing between two men is fine. I mean, some of our greatest war heroes, and so on.”

“It’s not... that...” Steve cringes.

It’s Bucky’s tentacles.

And how badly he wants them inside him.

Dishonor On Your Cow (ao3) - mandarou steve/bucky E, 111k

Summary: “Sergeant Barnes?”

“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

Hipsters get Remembered, Legends Never Die (ao3) - sara_holmes bucky/clint E, 89k

Summary: Bucky Barnes is a broke millennial hipster and one-armed veteran who somehow ends up as a science project for Tony Stark, a PA for Steve Rogers and a fling for Clint Barton. What even is his life.

In the Home (ao3) - aloneintherain T, 68k

Summary: The Avengers have been infected, turned violent and aggressive against their will. And Peter, the only one unaffected, is trapped inside the Tower with six feral teammates.

“Natasha,” Peter says cautiously, “what happened here? Steve attacked me, and if there was ever a sign that something was wrong, it’s having the embodiment of Truth, Justice, and the American Way throw you across the room—”

Natasha comes closer, her stride controlled. Nothing necessarily out of the ordinary, but there’s something in her face, in her eyes—

Natasha lunges across the space, and slams into Peter, hard.

Mr. Stark’s Home for Idiot Teenagers (ao3) - sturionic T, 98k

Summary: In which Tony Stark learns object lessons about love, sacrifice, death, friendship, and parenthood; and makes his peace with the unfortunate reality that his penthouse will be crawling with asshole teenagers every weekend for the foreseeable future. Follows canon…loosely. Ahem.

Pythagorean Expectation (ao3) - trickdaggers steve/tony E, 182k

Summary: Steve turns, feeling his heart fall out of his chest at the figure walking towards them. This has to be a dream. A nightmare— one that Steve has definitely had before.

Tony Stark walking towards them does not compute. Even with his eyes shrouded by orange-tinted spectacles, there is no mistaking that lopsided grin and casual strut onto the field even from a distance. Steve’s head is swimming with questions. Tony holds so much notoriety right now that it would be near impossible to keep him transferring teams a secret, especially considering the team he would be leaving is owned by his own family.

(Aka, the fic in which Steve and Tony are rivals both off and on the baseball field— until they aren’t. And it’s also in the 90s, because why the hell not.)

Straight on till Morning (ao3) - Sineala steve/tony E, 109k

Summary: Tony Stark resigned his commission in Starfleet five years ago, after a disastrous away mission, and he swore he’d never go back. He just wants to be left alone to build warp engines in peace. But the universe has more in store for him than that, as he discovers when Admiral Fury comes to him with an offer he could never have expected and cannot possibly refuse: first officer and chief engineer aboard the all-new USS Avenger, a starship of Tony’s own design. What’s more, the Avenger’s captain is Steve Rogers, hero of the Earth-Romulan War. Believed dead for over a century, Steve is miraculously alive… and very, very attractive.

But nothing is ever easy for Tony. As he wrestles with his secret desire for his new captain and his not-so-dormant fears, another mission starts to go wrong, and Tony becomes aware that Steve has secrets of his own – and the truth could change everything.

stress relief (ao3) - romanoff steve/tony E, 84k

Summary: They don’t love each other. They barely even like each other.

That Moment Divine (ao3) - synonym4life steve/bucky E, 61k

Summary: “‘S okay. It don’t have to mean nothing,” Bucky said, trying to convince himself as much as Steve. “‘S just rutting. Just a bit of rutting.”

His lips were so dry, his mouth too, and his throat, but the rest of his body felt like hot languid liquid was flowing through it. Steve swallowed, licked his lips. Maybe Steve’s mouth was dry too?

One hot summer, when Bucky and Steve are fifteen, the line between their friendship and something new that Bucky can’t quite name blurs. It is only years later that the line disappears completely and Bucky can finally put a name to that something.

What We're Not (ao3) - wickedthoughts steve/bucky E, 7k

Summary: Bucky's afraid and Steve's determined.

(Or, Bucky's afraid of what he wants and Steve's determined to show Bucky how much he loves him).

While You Were Sleeping (ao3) - Brenda steve/bucky M, 45k

Summary: Bucky wakes up from cryo to find himself in a world without Steve - and that's just the beginning of his problems.

[whileiamdying]

Review: Casablanca

The film has a peculiar magic to it, and because of its pace the richness of its sense of detail often goes unnoticed.

by Jeremiah Kipp December 13, 2008

 Photo: Film Forum

y the time we arrive at Rick’s Café Américain, a certain paranoia and vivacity has been set—and then comes romance, in the form of piano player Sam (Dooley Wilson) and his rendition of “It Had to Be You” as the camera makes a slow dolly toward him through the bustling crowd and wafts of cigarette smoke. It’s easy to fall into the rhythms of Casablanca, long before the appearance of the star-crossed lovers and their damaged idealism, or most of the great character actors who populate the world of Michael Curtiz’s film make their presence felt—such as Sydney Greenstreet’s bemusedly sinister Signor Ferrari and Peter Lorre’s nervously sweaty Ugarte.

The film has a peculiar magic to it, and because of its pace the richness of its sense of detail often goes unnoticed. Audiences make generalizations about Casablanca because of how all those little particulars add up. Film lovers discuss it with a starry look in their eyes, as if they were describing their first kiss or a lost love, because something in the film touches them, perhaps its theme of dignity and decency, of rediscovered idealism. Men seem almost instinctively drawn to Humphrey Bogart’s Rick because he’s a man of integrity, while women seem to dig him because he’s a man of mystery.

There’s also something else to Rick, and it’s visible in his hangdog face. When we first see him he’s playing chess by himself, and the light picks up on a small glimmer of spittle on his lips. Bogart was always a sputtering actor, which made him so great as a B-movie villain cowering for his life before getting shot to death by the hero. But his sudden stardom revealed something incredibly human, and as such relatable, about him. He seemed more like a real man than, say, the frequently idealized characters played by Errol Flynn. The fact that Bogart was a movie star says a lot about his particular charisma—the kind that’s earned by an actor who’s paid his dues and figured out who he is. Rick is his own man, and like those refugees at the start of the film who watch a plane fly above Casablanca, his life experience is written on his face.

Rick is first seen with his back turned to a local who’s had too much to drink. “Rick, where were you last night?” the man says, to which Rick replies, “That was so long ago, I don’t remember.” Even though there’s no overt sex in Casablanca, it’s constantly implied. When Rick orders his bartender to take a girl home in a cab, he asks him to come right back. In the scenes between Rick and Captain Renaud (Claude Rains), the men talk about women as if they were baubles to be admired, then dropped. Renaud also fawns over his friend with the most extravagant, slightly ironic hero-worship, and in a classic line from the film, Rains’s classy, debonair captain tells Ingrid Bergman’s Ilsa Lund that if he were a woman, he’d also be in love with Rick.

It’s astonishing when Bergman materializes some 30 minutes into the film, after Ugarte has whimpered for his life and been shot dead, and Rick has proclaimed that he “sticks his neck out for no one” and came to Casablanca “for the waters.” The shot that first captures the glamorous Bergman doesn’t call attention to itself, or highlight her in the frame, and yet we can’t take our eyes off her. It’s strange, because the shot is very wide, the dress she wears is plain, and she looks nervous and hesitant. How can a woman be so luminous when she’s moving her face back and forth like a deer transfixed by car headlights? When the audience finally sees Ila in close-up, sitting at a table in Rick’s Café with her husband, Victor Laszlo (Paul Henreid), her face is somewhat round, her eyes are sharp, and her voice has a certain breathless quality. Bergman, like Bogart, captivates us because of that ineffable thing we call presence. In this moment, the audience instantly understands Rick and Ilsa through the actors’ faces.

If audiences are to admire Rick and Bogart, then we’re meant to adore Ilsa and Bergman. Victor is set up as a great freedom fighter, yet he feels more like an abstract idea or plot point, not unlike the letters of transit that allow people safe passage out of Casablanca. Ilsa, like Rick, is a full person, with vulnerability in her eyes and a magnetism to her presence that goes beyond gauzy lenses and classical three-point lighting. Naturally they’re drawn to one another. She has a lot of big moments in the film, but a lot of small ones too that are just as memorable, such as that tiny, mischievous gleam in her eyes when she asks Sam to play some of the old songs.

There are, of course, the close-ups of Rick and Ilsa when they see each other for the first time as Sam plays “As Time Goes By,” but there’s also the furtive glances that they throw at one another before their eyes flicker back to the table, as they sit chatting about precedents being broken with Victor and Renaud. Casablanca is about striving for something meaningful. But it’s also a tale of sacrifice in the name of greater good, set in a world of shadows, booze, cigarette smoke, and memories. The love story at its center of allows heroes to tap into something special within themselves, and if they lost it in Paris, somehow they got it back in Casablanca. The film is all of those things at once, but it’s also about these people, these faces, and all the little moments between them. It reminds us that when we’re in relationships, we learn more about who we are reflected in others, and when we go to the movies, the great ones can do the same thing.

Score:  

Cast: Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Conrad Veidt, Sydney Greenstreet, Peter Lorre, Dooley Wilson  Director: Michael Curtiz  Screenwriter: Julius J. Epstein, Philip G. Epstein, Howard Koch  Distributor: Warner Bros.  Running Time: 102 min  Rating: NR  Year: 1942  Buy: Video, Soundtrack

[hlekani-666]

<126> 18. Atheist Republic Newsletter: The damaging effects of shame-based sexual education.

Sarah* and her husband both always believed that God was not ok with premarital sex. They grew up in the "purity culture" and believed that sexual pleasure would naturally be a part of a godly marriage if they waited. Sarah believed anything more than kissing would make her a slut. She had never even heard of masturbation until college, and even then, it took her 5 years to achieve orgasm on her own. She is now in her 30's, and to this day, has never had an orgasm by anyone other than herself.

Lucy* was the ideal Christian. For most of her adolescent and adult life, she suppressed most of her sexual urges. No dating. No fantasizing. No touching. She was pretty much asexual and clueless. Then she fell in love. She and the young man fully intended to marry and they did the things that most young lovebirds do - held hands, put their arms around each other. But Lucy felt arousal and with the arousal came guilt. She either had to stop what was causing the feelings or shut down. She has needed ongoing therapy to get over the shame and guilt associated with arousal and it is clear to hear that had she married that young man, they would have had a completely dysfunctional sex life. She did everything she was told, she followed the rules and now has faced years of sexual dysfunction born out of deep rooted shame, fear and guilt.

Sam* grew up hearing about the dangers of pornography and masturbation. If boys look at naked pictures of women or see videos of people having sex, they will obviously masturbate and then they will never again be able to have a normal sex life. He also was warned about lust. A lustful thought is any thought about a woman's body or any sexual thought about any woman other than your wife and if you think about other women while masturbating, you're committing multiple sins. These messages so crippled him that every time he would get a tingle of arousal after glancing at a woman, he would berate himself and ask God for forgiveness. The built up guilt and shame followed him into marriage. He still looked at porn and masturbated, and he still got turned on by other women, but he was constantly ashamed. This shame created a growing rift between him and his wife. He experienced sexual dysfunction but was unable to talk about it for lack of a working vocabulary. He is now free from the foundational religious beliefs but continues to fight against the feelings of shame that are tied to his own sexuality.

*actual stories, names changed for anonymity.

Sex, sexual orientation, gender identity: these are all very personal elements of an individual's life; yet they continue to garner a massive amount of public opinion and legislation, especially in the religious world; which, is completely mind-boggling, and fantastically entertaining.

We're not talking about outlawing bestiality or child pornography here. We as a society have come to the (completely justified) consensus that those things are wrong and should be legislated. Nope. The kinds of things religious leaders get REALLY riled up about are sexual positions between mutually consenting adults, at what point a person "should" have sex (typically, not until after marriage), what gender your sexual partner is, and the scariest one of them all cue ominous music…MASTURBATION! *gasp.

In fact, masturbation is apparently so heinous, conservative evangelicals, Mormons, and many other devout religious groups go so far as to create public service announcement campaigns and religious education curricula to make sure their followers' hands stay busy flipping through the Bible or clasped in fervent prayer.

Anti-masturbation campaigns are generally aimed at men, but lately, word has gotten out that women are in on the fun sin, too. Alright ladies, which one of you spilled the beans? Thanks a lot! We were doing just fine hiding under the covers, vibrators in hand, quietly pleasuring ourselves and now you went and ruined it for all of us!

Exhibit A: The Mormon powers-that-be take masturbation so seriously, they're going to war. It's a war against self-pleasure! In a video released by Brigham Young University, it's suggested that when people report their masturbating and porn-watching friends to religious authorities within the Mormon hierarchy, they are to be commended in the same way a soldier should be honored for dragging a wounded comrade off the battlefield. No joke.

Exhibit B: Have you seen the error of your ways? Have you taken the bold step to stop masturbating forever? Proclaim it to the world with this…T-shirt! The Passion for Christ Movement (P4CM) sells an "Ex-Masturbator" t-shirt to help take God's message against self-pleasure to friends and strangers everywhere. Speechless

Exhibit C: If God's disappointment isn't enough to motivate you to avoid masturbation, perhaps the threat of being pretty much like a gay person will. Seattle mega-church pastor, Mark Driscoll - a buff, tattooed, swearing guy who yells a lot, and frequently talks about sex - has an ebook available that claims jacking off is basically the same as "the sin of homosexuality" if a woman isn't in the room. Well then. Now you know.

Exhibit D: And then there are the Jehovah's Witnesses who released a sign language video (and yes, the sign for masturbation is as awesome as we all want it to be) warning that Jehovah is disgusted by masturbation, making it an evil act. This video was apparently worthy of an R Kelly and 50 Cent redub. Unfortunately, the original is no longer available online but the redub. is better anyway.

Holy Book texts discussing sex and sexual orientation, and these examples of modern religious fervor interfering in the sex lives of individuals are hilarious, unless you've gone through sexual maturation in the midst of that world. The shame and guilt permeating all things sex-related in conservative religion is horrifyingly oppressive, and often has long-lasting negative consequences even for the people who break free of religion later in life.

Aside from the myopic cisgendered heteronormative bias perpetuated in all conservative religious expressions, the pervasive problems of shame-based sexual teaching are vast.

Conservative religious expressions idolize virginity, especially in women. North American Evangelical Christian youth groups hold purity conferences and encourage teens to sign "purity pacts", swearing they will not engage in any sex acts until after marriage. Girls often get "purity rings" from their dads as visible signs that they are "married to Jesus" until their wedding night, at which point, their husbands essentially get to play the man-god figure in their lives.

Girls are told (using these exact words) that having sex before marriage makes you "damaged goods", "like drinking a cup of spit", "a used piece of chewing gum": the more it gets chewed, the worse it tastes until eventually, you have to just throw it away. Girls are also held responsible for the sexual purity of the boys around them. They are admonished repeatedly to use caution when choosing what to wear so they don't "tempt their brothers" into the sin of lust.

Boys aren't off the hook either. The focus for boys is on their "visually stimulated" arousal, and they are shamed into avoiding any thoughts about sex with a massive focus on the dangers of pornography of any kind.

It is drilled into pre-teens and teens, that they aren't allowed to be sexual beings, have sexual thoughts or do anything sexual until after they're married - at which time, they are expected to be sexual powerhouses. The women in particular are supposed to be amazing at pleasing their husbands because if they're not, their husbands will probably have an affair and it will be their fault.

A recent study found that while religious people engage in the same types of sexually-related behaviors (having sex, viewing/reading porn, masturbating) and have sex as often as nonreligious people, the deep-rooted guilt and shame present in the religious group prevents them from enjoying it as much. The more devout the the religious people were, the less happy they were with their sex lives whereas people who "lost their faith", reported a far more satisfying sex life as a nonbeliever.

Shame and guilt are not good foundations on which to build personal ethics about one's sexuality and it is becoming increasingly obvious that religious institutions are hurting young people with their teachings. Even if people aren't explicitly told they are "damaged goods" if they have sex before marriage or that masturbation is a sin or that you aren't allowed to think sexually about anyone until you're married, those messages are there in the subtext and the shame and guilt seep in.

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