#idea sititng for a week

[writer-and-artist27]

Tumblr Story: Two Robins

Note: For @dollya-robinprotector. Because the writing urge hit and I wanted to send you something to destress. Also inspired by this comic you made on your other blog.

An informal sequel to “Reformed Bully,” basically. Because when life throws lemons, I make lemonade out of them. While listening to the song titled, My First Friend. 

Stories for friends work like that. :)

-----------------------------

“Another world through a magic door, huh…?” 

Vy couldn’t help but sit up in her place at the guest couch and slowly open her eyes at the sound of Robin’s voice. Even if he wasn’t her Robin, Lya’s Robin looked contemplative while taking off his apron in the now-cleaned kitchen, wiping some peanut butter off his hands with a napkin with a quiet hum. “Considering you were able to find a cookie recipe this easy to make,” he said with a soft laugh, “I probably shouldn’t be surprised at magic doors considering my sweetie’s habit of getting involved with a lot of people.”

“And…” Vy internally cursed herself for her low social battery, forcing her voice out as much as she could for Robin to notice, “who says… that habit is… a bad thing when… she still has… you, Robin?”

The brunette man turned to look at her with wide green eyes, the freckles on his face twitching before he smiles. “…That’s true,” he said in a softer voice, hanging his apron up on a nearby rack before opening the refrigerator and pulling out a water bottle. “But if you’re tired, Vy, you can use the couch to rest. You’re the guest here and you didn’t have to play with the kids.” The smile on his face widens to a grin once he walks over to place the water bottle in Vy’s ungloved hands, sitting down next to her soon after. “Though as one of their dads, I’m really grateful for your help.”

“Whitney looked… tired, y’know?” Her grip is shaky on the bottle cap once Vy twists at it to open the beverage, lifting the whole bottle carefully to drink the cold water inside for some energy. “Baking… cookies for the kids… is something I can do… considering they were curious… and I started it… by giving him some…” And sure, Chaldea didn’t have toddlers in its large roster of Servants (baby Caren notwithstanding — she was a unique case) — but her experience with kids thankfully wasn’t null and void. Plus their reactions to the “magic” of the three-ingredient peanut butter cookies were so so cute. Even recapping the water bottle in her hands after drinking half felt like an effort worth doing as she said, “So I… I wanted to help… besides…”

Robin leans forward to rest his chin against his palms, peering into her face with a curious expression. “Besides…?”

“It’s what…” Vy smiled, doing her best to ignore the urge to cough from how weak her voice felt in her throat. “It’s what… my Robin… would’ve done.”

Robin’s green eyes widened again — reminding Vy of Chaldea, of her Robin — before his brows furrowed against his forehead. “…You said that before,” he said in a quieter voice, one of his hands leaving his face in favor of reaching out towards her. Not nearly enough to touch, but close enough to the point of nearly patting her hair. “What is your Robin like, Vy? You said you saw some of him in Whit, which led you to us.”

How to respond… Vy turned her head to look at her lap, fidgeting with a hem of her skirt from the Chaldean Decisive Battle uniform. Her pockets still had some markers and her whiteboard, so—

“Vy…?” Lya’s Robin paused, a hand hovering close to hers once she put the half-full water bottle to the side and subsequently pulled out her writing set, carefully trying to uncap the nearest marker — pink this time, it seemed — to start scribbling a response.

“Energy… low…” Vy said hastily to fill in the silence, shaking her head. “Gonna have to… write to you… Robin… so excuse me.”

Past the shade of her low ponytail, it thankfully didn’t hide the understanding look that dawned on Robin’s face, his newest smile sympathetic towards her as he nodded. “You’re excused.” 

“Th-Thankie…” With one grateful gulp of air, Vy wrote as quickly yet as neatly as she could, the words coming naturally to the forefront of her mind. My Robin is my hero.

Turning the board over to let Lya’s Robin read the words had his green eyes widen yet again. “Your hero…?”

Forcing energy into her next nod, Vy turned her whiteboard back to write more. I grew up with him, she “said,” doing her best to school the incoming blush on her face with a tiny cough. Whenever I was sad, whenever I needed to get away, he was there. In his green cape, whistling a tune, and hiding one eye away with his hair. Just by being himself and staying with me.

Vy wasn’t surprised to hear Robin chuckle at the word “hair” on her board once she turned the words toward him. “If your Robin has one eye hidden by his hair, I can understand why you reached out to Whit, then.” 

They’re similar in some ways, Whitney and my Robin. Behavior, looks, and voice, aye. Pasts are definitely different. Vy could tell even when having known Whitney for only half of a day. They both were rough around the edges, self-proclaimed “cowards,” easy to cover up their insecurities with lies, but— In the end, Robin inspires me. He makes me feel safe. He helps me keep going. That's why he’s “Big Robin” to me. 

“…Does he now?” Lya’s Robin says softly, glancing at the whiteboard before looking at Vy with a sad look to his green eyes. “Is that what a hero is to you, Vy? Someone who can be big and protect you?”

Not even the fatigue stopped Vy from hearing the longing in Robin’s voice, the lingering regret lacing his words, and she immediately turned her whiteboard back to herself to scribble a response.

I didn’t look up to my Robin just because he was big and protected me. Sure, he’s taller than me, and yes, he’s protected me, but he did more than that. Some of her “o”s looked loopy to her tired eye, but she still pointed them to Lya’s Robin for the man to read, tapping the underlined “more” with a face. Being a hero for someone can just be as simple as making sure there’s a home to come back to. A safe place to tuck away and be fine in someone’s arms. And if you’re worrying about that with Lya and your kids, Robin, I think you don’t have to. 

“...Huh?” The brunette blinks at her response, and Vy smiles, lowering her whiteboard to the lap of her skirt. She knew if she spoke up, she might not be able to do the same for the rest of the day, but—

“You’re… like my Robin too…” Vy eventually croaked, keeping as much cheer as she could once Lya’s Robin gaped at her. Her hands felt a bit like lead had been injected into them, but it didn’t matter. “You both… worry about… doing enough… for the people you love… and I wanna say… you’re okay.”

“Vy…” Robin whispered, his green eyes betraying his experiences and concerns. Living as an orphan, trying to make ends meet under cruel circumstances, hoping Lya could be happy… A soft choking noise made his voice wobble once he said with shimmering wetness characteristic of tears in his eyes, “You really think so?”

Vy knew that her Robin could and would make that exact same face (especially when she pushed herself too hard). It was why she smiled at Lya’s Robin, raising one shaky gloved hand to pat his frozen outstretched one. 

“I… know so. Because… because my Big Robin… taught me small kindnesses… like baking and hugging and helping… matter. So Robin… I think you’re plenty big… for Lya, Whitney, Alex… and your kids too.” A note of longing came out to grace the air between them, a cursory glance at the living room around them confirming to Vy that she was almost envious. “Having a farm like this… being able to safely have a family… not a lot of people can say the same. So… give yourself more credit. You can… be ‘big’ in your own way too. Cooking… and games… and being you.”

Especially when I know how hard it is to fight for the home you want. When the home I want is still out of reach.

It was why Vy decided not to mention the plight of Humanity back in her world, what with the Foreign God and all of her fucking bullshit, in favor of grabbing a wad of tissues from her other skirt pocket to offer to the man sitting next to her. The tears in Robin’s eyes only grew in size against his lashes, but he was smiling once he took the tissues to wipe at his face. “Th-Thank you,” he choked out after a moment, a few droplets falling to the couch cushions between them as he laughed. “I-I didn’t know I needed to hear that before I heard it.”

Vy smiled, vaguely making out a silhouette of pink starting to emerge from the hallway behind Robin before nodding her head. “Aye. That can… definitely happen… and if you can’t believe it… why don’t you ask your sweetie?”

As if on cue, flowers seem to burst open in the air. “Of course, my gentle songbird!” Lya announces her sudden entrance with a tight hug to Robin from behind, falling to her knees and winding her arms around her husband’s neck enough to make the man squeak. “Vy has the right idea!”

“L-Lya…” Robin sniffles, but he looks happier once she’s in the picture, enough for relief to spread throughout Vy’s chest as she slowly scooted a foot or so away to give the happy couple some space. “I… I really am doing enough for you?”

“Of course you are! You’re my Robin!” Lya pouts when resting her chin atop Robin’s brown hair, shaking her head. “I love you more than anything, sweetie!”

“Sweetie…”

Vy closed her eyes to the sight, already feeling a little awkward if not for the lingering fatigue still in her systems, and thus debated stepping out. It didn’t feel right to say anything with Lya already reassuring her hubby better with lots of hugs and kisses beyond her closed eyelids, so…

“Muu…?”

Her back and legs suddenly weren’t on the couch anymore. Vy slowly blinked, feeling mana carry her up into the air and barely hearing Robin’s surprised “whoa” along the way. Her half-full water bottle, whiteboard and assorted markers were floating up with her, highlighted by — by purple runes? It would certainly explain why the floating was very much gentle, but if runes were here—

The corner of her blurry vision past her glasses let her see a single glimpse of violet and green before toned, muscular arms wrapped themselves around the backs of her shoulders and the undersides of her knees, holding her in a princess carry. “I look away for five minutes,” said a familiar voice above her head, “and then I find you’re pushing yourself again, little sparrow. Past another magical door too.”

“All in… good intentions, Big Robin…!” Vy still didn’t stop her Robin from holding her close enough for their foreheads to touch, a weak giggle leaving her lips once the tip of his nose rubs hers. Mint tickled the insides of her nostrils as she said, “Didn’t use… any mana… and was… able to bake… magic peanut butter cookies…!” 

“Which, little one,” Skadi interrupted with a soft clapping of her hands to dispel her wand into a flash of light (just so that Lya and her hubby wouldn’t notice, maybe?), chuckling while plucking the floating bottle and whiteboard materials out of the air to keep close to her chest for safekeeping. The smile on her delicate features looked wry and exasperated to oddly match the fond sparkle in her red eyes as she went on with, “you could have done that after taking your daily nap. I may be the last goddess of my original world, but what is it with your luck in finding other worlds without fail?”

Vy glanced up at her Robin — Robin Hood, the May King, her Big Robin — and smiled once he gave her a raised eyebrow. “I just… do?”

Robin sighed and bumped his nose with hers again. “…You worry me too much.” 

“I’m… sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for that, little sparrow. Just wander off with me next time.”

A quiet Ahem is what breaks Vy out of the growing warmth and surrounding mana — out of seeing two of her Grailed come through the same door that brought her to Whitney — and turning her head reveals Lya, her Robin, and a faraway Whitney all staring at her with wide eyes. Of course Robin Hood and Scathach-Skadi would stare back.

No one said anything for a good second. The toddlers could’ve woken up, Alex could’ve walked in, and yet no one would speak. That was the kind of stare-off it was.

“…Well,” Lya’s Robin starts first after the sound of a singular water droplet falling echoes from the sink, glancing at Chaldea’s Robin before awkwardly scratching at some of the freckles dotting his nose. “If this green-clothed man is your Big Robin, Vy, I can see why you love him so much. He is tall and has hair that makes me think of Whit.”

“He’s supposed to look like me?” Whitney said in clear disbelief from his place standing a few feet away in the hallway, his crumpled T-shirt and wrinkled sweats making it look like he just helped Alex in putting the toddlers to bed for their daily nap. “He’s green and… glowing.” 

“Excuse me for glowing,” Robin Hood bit out past Vy’s head, and Vy did her best to raise a shaky hand to his chest to pat sympathetically. “Being magical makes me sparkly. Not like a vampire, thank god.” 

“And I’m the goddess, yet can recognize the Twilight joke. Those books were not the best in regards to late-night reading.” Skadi chuckles again, and Vy glances at her just in time to catch the softer look that brushes her features as she bows her head towards the farm denizens still standing in front of them. “Excuse us for the late introductions. My name is Skadi, and the man carrying Vy next to me is our Robin. We just came through the nearest door together to take Vy home.”

“So she does have a home,” Lya muttered, enough to make both Robins and Whitney stare at her. “Was the ‘magic’ in the peanut butter cookies real, then?”

“Who knows?” Robin shrugs, but Vy knows he’s relaxing once he bounces her a little in his arms, just to adjust his grip and let her rest her head against his shoulder. The No Face May King was soft in feel against her ear, enough to be a borderline pillow and nearly make her forget him saying, “Vy — our little sparrow, has a habit of making magic. Still gotta take her back to recharge, though. So thanks for holding onto her until we could show up.” 

Whitney scoffs under his breath, muttering something that Vy can’t hear, but she can see the brunette Robin lightly elbow him just past the No Face May King’s shadow as Chaldea’s Robin turns on his heel to face the door that started this little journey. Compared to its visage from her room, the magical entrance wasn’t glowing as much as before, the silver handle appearing muted to contrast the bright green grass outside and the glowing of the Grailed beside her. But—

Skadi barely gets a chance to say her name before Vy reaches out towards the nearest thing she could reach — that being Robin’s mantle collar, to tug at and eventually gesture back towards the farm denizens. “Let me…” she croaks, “say bye?”

Robin stares at her. Vy stares back. It’s not even that long, but she tries, and after a few seconds, Robin sighs, turning on his heel one more time. “Just this once,” she hears him murmur softly. Skadi opens the door behind him once he does, but it doesn’t matter.

Even with her blurring vision, Vy can still make out the primary colors of Lya’s pink hair, of her Robin’s green eyes, and Whitney’s black tattoos. And with the rest of her strength, Vy raises one shaky gloved hand to wave at them. 

“Bye bye… thankie for the conversations… Whitney… Robin… if the kids ask… I’ll be back… with more cookies for them… and Lya… and Alex…! Soon soon…!” 

Chaldea’s Robin scoffs softly above her head, but he still carefully walks her back into Novum Chaldea through the doorway Skadi kept open for them. And once the door closes behind them and darkness starts to overtake her vision in favor of sleep, Vy can do nothing but lean against her Robin and wonder if Lya’s Robin and Whitney ever waved back.

It was a nice dream to ponder about if they did.

[youcouldmakealife]

Stuff That Helps Me Write: Pacing (no, not that kind), and burnout avoidance

So this was supposed to be about something entirely different., but every time I started making a point, I got distracted by a second, bonus idea (ways to trick your brain when it's not cooperating with you! things I've tried (I will try everything) and what worked and didn't! what to do with writer's block!) and then start writing about that, and I've got half a dozen unrelated paragraphs going in my drafts, so I think I'm just going to make this a mini-series of 'stuff that helps me write and may also help you (or maybe they won't, I don't know, this shit's all subjective)'.

If there's anything in particular you'd like to hear about, or something about my process you're curious about, absolutely feel free to reply or shoot me an ask and I'll do my best to address them as I go.

But yeah, pacing. And more specifically, not burning out. I figured it was important I hit this one first, because I think it's the most important one, or at least, the one that makes the biggest difference.

With the caveat that I am someone who has repeatedly driven myself into burnout, I'm also someone who now knows why that is, and have been teaching myself how to, you know, not do that.

So. Here's how I, you know, don't do that.

Will preface this by again mentioning that most writing advice (and advice in general) never seemed to work for me, and I mostly thought I was just Bad at Doing Things, until I learned my brain's literally wired differently, and that I'd been trying to apply processes that didn't actually work for said wiring.

So instead, I figured out what worked for me. And what works for me isn't necessarily what will work for you, or even what will work for me a month or five years down the line, but it's going okay right now.

I'll straight up say that, contrary to all the Writing Advice, I don't write every day, and I don't think it's necessary, or even necessarily a good idea -- I have at times, but I no longer do, because if I write for more than six days straight I find the proverbial well dries up and I write less than I do had I just taken a break when I needed it.

Cognitive energy and the sort of ephemeral ~inspiration (work that's been done on a subconscious level) are fundamentally no different than physical energy: if you don't replenish it, you will run out. If you overdo it, you will run out. If you consistently overdo it without replenishing it, you will burn out.

Taking a page from hockey players here: if you did an intense workout right before a game they'd ask what the fuck was the matter with you. You need a nap and a meal and to get some stretching and light work in. Running at 100% all the time will burn you out in every single field, including this one.

That's not me saying not to run at 100% at all. I generally try to pace myself now, but if I'm really in it, and the words are coming easily, I don't stop until they stop -- I wrote just shy of 4k of later scenes for SAIT last week (my 2024 record!), all in one sititng, by hand, when I was supposed to be sleeping, because that's when the inspiration came. I didn't fall asleep until past 6am that night, and my hand is still mad at me.

But you know how much writing I got done the follow day? (None, I was busy transcribing 4k of handwriting). The rest of this week? (Not much more than that). Those bursts of energy are awesome, and honestly can make you feel like a writing god, but the well's the well, and I've learned my personal well is about 5000 words a week deep.

Before my most recent scrape with autistic burnout, which I'm still sort of climbing my way out of, that well was closer to 7500 words. But honestly, it probably wasn't; I was likely just siphoning words from future wells and then it all caught up with me when I was looking at a horizon of dry-ass wells ahead of me. (I'll admit this isn't a perfect metaphor.)

But seriously, my advice for basically everything, not just writing (and something I wish I'd learned before I hit my 30s), is 'figure out what pace you can work at sustainably'.

Please note that 'sustainably' is not 'without literally dying'. Because my literal ass thought when people said 'give it 100%' they meant, you know, 'give it 100%' (I know! absurd of me), rather than 'give the best effort you can give in this moment considering your current resources'. So I gave it my all (also interpreted that one wrong I guess?). And then I wondered why I kept hitting a wall all the time. And why, eventually, I stopped being able to climb that wall entirely.

I don't think I'm ever going to reach that 7500 word threshold again. There will be weeks I'm so inspired I write that much, but the next week I probably won't manage more than 2500. Or maybe I'll have two 7500 weeks in a row, but I'll need to take a whole week off after that, or spend several weeks working at a lower tempo while I let the well replenish itself.

I've been tracking some metrics quite closely as I sort of tweak my life into its new shape (said shape being 'do the best you can given your resources') , and during my most productive month of this year I wrote 3x as much as the worst (writing wise, I was finalising publication at the time), my current weekly average is about 4800 words. Sometimes it's a bit higher or lower, sometimes much higher or lower, but that's what I can sustainably do right now.

Frankly, I'm a little cranky about this: I know I can do more, because I did do more. But my priority now is not to send myself straight back into burnout again, so when I sprint, it's just that, rather than my previous 'trying to run a marathon at the pace of a sprinter'. I'm writing less than I used to, but it's honestly not that much less: because the pace is sustainable rather than boom and bust, I don't run myself ragged enough to desperately need a break.

I'm aware this advice only works if you have control over your own time, and a schedule that doesn't force you to focus on writing say, one day a week, or around other obligations, but the only real workaround for burnout is consistency, and that consistency cannot be your maximum.

Or, it can, but I guarantee you that will bite you in the ass at some point, and the pain of not getting enough done is nothing compared to the pain of not being able to get anything done because your nervous system threw up its hands and decided if you weren't going to listen to their clues (feelings, symptoms) or their warnings (Feelings, Symptoms) that you were overdoing it, they were going to shut your ass down until you listened.

0/10 do not recommend.

Next week: how to trick your brain into doing shit that it doesn't feel like doing, even though it's onto all your tricks by now. Or at least, how I trick mine.

[memoryoflife]

oh my god that was such a horrible idea. so i’ve been having a pretty bad week so i’ve been trying to think of ways to make myself feel better. writing in my diary and drawing has only made me feel worse. and i had the strong urge to read something and the first thing that came to mind was your fics…i was going to read multiple but i could barely get through one before uncontrollably sobbing. and that’s coming from the person who rarely ever cries when reading or watching something. my mon saw me and asked “why in the world are you crying??” but i didn’t say anything cause how am i supposed to explain to her that it’s because of fanfiction about some stupid fictional family and my horrible mental state 😭 anyways the point of this ask was to gush about how much i love your writing and i hate you for making me cry. (/j) thanks!!! never stop being a menace and killing me

OH MY GOD,, i'm so sorry 😭 AGAIN I'M ALWAYS KINDA SHOCKED WHENEVER PEOPLE TELL ME THEY CRY READING MY WRITING,, because to me i just think abt sititng in front of my computer tapping the keyboard while wanting 2 collapse and shrivel. WHICH ONE DID YOU READ? WAS IT THE LILIA INTROSPECTION??? I NEED TO KNOW. i hope its ok 2 publish this publicly i want to seal this as a badge of honour. sorry ur mum saw u.

thank u for the ask... this was so fun to read when waking up

[stevethehairington]

Tagged by: the lovely @scimitar-and-longsword  💕💕

Name(s): my name is Mack, and if this also includes like usernames too then my ao3 is macksdramaticshenanigans and obviously yall can see my tumblr url lol. i have a fandom twitter but i hate twitter so i barely go on it lmao.

Fandom(s): oh boy haha this is a loooong list. as of right now, the main fandoms i’m involved in are The Old Guard and Trust FX, but in the past i’ve written for Skam, Marvel, Good Omens, Love Simon/Simon vs., Shameless, and IT. and ofc there are some fandoms i have not written for that i casually enjoy as well.

Where you post: all my fics are posted on ao3! or are sitting in my wips folder lol. i’ve ocsasionally posted some snippets of writing here to tumblr, but none of those are like full on, proper fics, mostly just me rambling off some thoughts i had about whatever characters in whatever scenarios

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos): Imagine Being Loved By Me (918 kudos) ((so close to 1k holy shit!!!! if it got to 1k i think i’d actually die of happiness omg)) this is my Good Omens smut fic lmfao, crowley is fantasizing and aziraphale makes it a reality skgjsd. i’m actually pretty damn pleased with how this one turned out, and i never expected it to get that many kudos so that makes me ridiculously happy sfjgfg. (and also podfixx made a podfic of this fic which made me INSANELY happy like that is the coolest thing ever)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos): I Have Hella Feelings For You (697 kudos) ahhh this one!! this one is actually my very first ever chaptered fic!! it’s a skam fic, and i have the most distinctive memory of me sititng in my dorm bed freshman year of college, furiously typing away at my laptop everyday for a week because i somehow managed to post a chapter every day until it was finished, which meant i was writing a new chapter everyday. like damn, i really peaked with that huh? lmao

Favorite story you’ve written so far: ahh okay not to like. toot my own horn kgfldg but this question is HARD bc i have a lot of favorites. i’m going to pick a favorite from each of my main fandoms i’ve written for because i’m an Indecisive Hoe okay fdjdf.

- From Marvel: Just Called To Say I Love You this one is my wrong number stucky fic and i actually adore this one so much, and also it actually ended up being WAY more popular than i expected it to? like i was lowkey shook by how many people liked it 

- From Skam: If You Love Me, If You Hate Me so. about this one. it’s probably my favorite skam fic that i’ve written. but. it also is the utter bane of my existence bc this is the one and only fic i have ever written and posted that i haven’t fnished gskgjfdlfs. it’s going on soon to be a little over 2 years of sitting on my account as an unfinished wip, but i REFUSE to mark it as abandoned bc i really genuienly DO want to finish it, i just havent written for this fandom in a while and inspiration/motivation is tricky yknow? but anyways. this fic is my soccer au!! it was a gift for a secret santa exchange i believe to a dear friend of mine and i still feel awful that i never finished it but. one day!!

- From Love Simon/Simon vs.: Where I Like You Best i am actually obsessed with this one. is that weird to say about your own fic? i enjoy reading a good soulmate au, but writing them has always been SO daunting to me bc i never feel like my ideas are original enough or like things that havent been done a lot for that trope. but for this one!!! omg i found the BEST prompt for it and it fit these characters SO well and i wrote it and i ended up absolutely loving how it turned out, and i was so proud of myself for writing a pretty successful soulmate au.

- From Shameless: Wooden Floors, Walls, and Window Sills so this one was my second ever gallavich fic, and it’s probably my favorite because i think it’s the best characterization i got of them in all of my fics, and good characterization is one of the most important things to me when i write fic. 

- From IT: To What We Might Do is my favorite reddie fic i’ve written! i definitely projected onto richie a teeny tiny bit in it for some parts lmfao, but yeah idk i just love how this one turned out a whole lot, and i enjoyed how i ended it too (esp since endings can be very difficult for me lol). ((BUT also a special shoutout to my fic Imagine Me and You, I Do bc that one is just pure fluff and i adore the concept of someone being just so absolutely in love with someone doing something so incredibly simple and it just rocks their world)

- From Good Omens: I Want To Know What Love Is (did i use the most cheesy title ever? absolutely. do i love it? absolutely.) anyways this fic is one where crowley the demon experiences love and promptly thinks he’s dying. 

Fic you were nervous to post: ooh, i mean i’m always pretty anxious about any fic i post because i never know if it’s going to be recepted well or if people are going to like it or hate it or if anyone is even going to read it or repsond to it. especially if the fic is a gift for someone, because i just really want that person to like it yknow? but yeah idk if theres one in particular i was more nervous to post than any others... i guess maybe any smut fic? just bc i never know if the smut is even any good lol

How do you choose your titles?: eaaaaasy, i usually pick song lyrics lol, ocassionally i’ve used lines from a poem, and a few times i’ve gone with a pun, but mostly it’s song lyrics. i usually find a song with lyrics that i think will fit, or if there’s a particular song that vibes well with the fic or that i listened to repeatedly while writing the fic i’ll try to pick the best lyric from that one.

Do you outline?: yes and no lol. it honestly depends. sometimes i outline extensively, but other times i just sit in front of a doc and let whatever happens happen.

Complete: on my ao3 account i have 80 works completed (will be 81 once i finally finish that one single unfinished wip i have posted gahhh). but i know in my wips folder i have a at least one finished fic that i have not and probably will not post. there are also some other things in my wips folder that like technically could be conisdered finished too, but it’s not up to my posting standards so until i fix it so it is it’ll just sit there lol.

In-Progress: honestly there are too many to count lol. i have a shiiiiiit ton of wips (as yall will know if you saw that one ‘tell us about ALL your wips’ tag game post that was going around that i did lol). 

Coming soon/not yet started: tbh see above answer bc it’s pretty much the same lol. 

Prompts?: so the thing about prompts is that i would LOVE to take them, but it’s very very tricky bc i’m a super specific kind of gal and if i don’t vibe with the prompt it’s very difficult for me to write anything for it. but then there’s also the fact that inspiration/motivation are fickle bitches and they come and go as they please and so taking prompts is hard bc i never know if the stars will align and all that jazz for me to be in the ~ right mood ~ to work on a prompt. this is the exact reason why i have SO MANY sitting in my inbox right now, and i feel so bad for just letting them sit there but ughhh brain function?? how?? lol

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: sooooo i don’t necessarily have any specific works in progress right now (i’ve been so busy lately that writing has been the last thing on my mind and so i haven’t touched anything in weeks) but. i guess if i can ever get my shit together and finish the primo fic i’m close to finishing i’m pretty excited to post that! or honestly if i can actually get myself to finish any of the tog wips i have i’d be suuuper excited to post any of those bc i have not yet posted any tog fics!!

anways!! if you made it to this point thanks for sticking w me and reading through my long winded rambly answers lmao

Tagging: @peachykoya @wandering-scholar-lad @raynertodd @cluelessheroes @pinesboi @thewolvesrunwild @1derspark 

[corpsetsang]

@leftlipstick

Arielle had somewhat of an idea of what to expect from the first day of her outpatient rehab program-- or at least an idea of what the first few days would be like. In the past, she’d never lasted longer than that. But this time, she would. This time, she would do everything in her power to stay, to make it work, to fix herself. At the end of the day, the most amazing, goregous woman she’d ever known would be waiting for her at home, and she promised herself she’d get better for her. Wren was the best thing that had happend to her in a long time and she refused to let her vices get in the way of that. 

What she wasn’t expecting, however, was to see the dollop of fiery red hair that caused her emotional downward spiral to begin with. She’d spotted Imogen at check-in, at the welcome presentation, and even had the absolute pleasure of sititng across from her in their first group therapy session, where she got to hear all about the current state of her ex-girlfriend’s current relationship with her sister.  

She took her lunch break outside, already feeling smothered and overwhelmed. It wasn’t until she lit and took a long drag of her cigarette that she saw Imogen again-- this time, headed towards her. 

“Whatever you have to say, I don’t want to hear it.” She blew a cloud of smoke from the corner of her mouth, not even allowing Imogen to get close enough to say whatever it was she wanted to. “Four weeks. I’m only here for four weeks. We can pretend the other doesn’t exist and just focus on fixing our own shit.”

[edwardsvirginity]

At least your doing your grad school application I’m still struggling to write out my personal statement and I haven’t even mentioned the idea of recommendations to my professors

ok my personal statement was a fucking disaster and it only got written bc one of my reccomenders asked me for it, then i didn’t respond for like a week, and then they straight up emailed me again to be like ??? and it shamed me into finally writing it. but it was HARD. and honestly it’s just. not good.

my friends are baller and 2 of them have won fulbrights, and of those 2 one of them ALSO just got a rhodes scholarship, and then my BEST friend is doing peace corps, and another friend of mine is straight up employed as an editor. i mention this not just to brag on my friends (who are gr8) but also to say that my personal statement was bad enough that i sent it to ALL of them and was like “dear god please save me from myself and tell me how to make this presentable”. so now i’m just sititng here twiddling my thumbs (after sending the rough draft to my reccomender lol) waiting for them to get back to me bc i can’t bear to look at what i have and spend MORE hours struggling over it

i would definitely say u gotta talk to ur professors asap if the deadline for the application is within the next month. like, you have to give them AT LEAST 2 weeks notice to write something. i was hella nervous abt talking to my professors (both when i thought i was gonna apply my senior year of college, and now, 2 years later) but they were honestly super chill about it. writing reccomendations is part of their job so as long as you tell them far enough in advance i’m sure it won’t be a problem. i feel u tho. it’s terrifying. 

my deadline is the 15th (sunday) and honestly i’ve been internally screaming for the last 2 weeks (when i started the application-- i’m THAT MUCH trash) but at least after sunday it’s out of my hands. but i also know that if i don’t have rapidly approaching deadlines for things, shit doesn’t get done. so hopefully if your deadline is still pretty far out that could be a reason you’re struggling-- bc it’s not a tight enough time frame to be motivating

i wish i could give u advice on ur personal statement, but i’m applying to grad school in france and it’s a significantly different format. american grad schools want all this weird creative shit from you and it’s kinda overwhelming. i’m not dealing with any of that bullshit and i’m still like 2 minutes away from an anxiety attack at any moment. so. i do not envy you. stay strong

best of luck anon. we gonna get this bread. we gonna get into grad school and go be successful in our chosen career fields. i believe in us. 

but also anon: i will say, i tried to apply to grad school my senior year of college because i was terrified of entering the workforce and didn’t feel qualified for anything with my degree. that was a bad move. i put too much pressure on myself and straight up had multiple breakdowns. it was waaayyyy too overwhelming for me to try and do a bunch of research, apply to like 5 different places, AND do all my senior year of college stuff like write my dissertation and do well in my classes. it just was not possible for me and i should not have pretended it was. i’m really glad i waited until now (~1.5 years post-graduation) to apply, because it allowed me to get an (unglamorous) job that to my legitimate shock actually counts as really good, relevant experience on my grad school application, made me think really seriously about grad school so i don’t feel like i’m doing it just to avoid a shitty economy and workforce, proved to me that i can get a job even with just my undergrad degree, and now i know when i graduate grad school i will have ~work experience~ as well. (plus, it’s been great to be able to make some headway in paying off my undergrad loans, and save some money). and while i’m still an anxious mess about this grad school app, it’s 10x easier to apply now while i have a job than when i was in school. there’s a lot less pressure, i have more free time, i feel less overwhelmed by things generally. i know even if i don’t get in things will be ok, bc i already have a job! and i’m just applying to one grad school right now, bc i have more clarity abt what i actually want out of grad school and where i wanna be. and if i decide in the spring to apply to more grad schools, i have that option (yay for european deadlines). so i would just encourage you to think really seriously about why you’re applying now and if that’s really what you want, or if you’re just doing what me and many of my friends did and trying to avoid entering the workforce/being a real adult because you feel unprepared and scared (which is understandable!! but not a good reason to spend a bunch more money to go to grad school). even my friends who intend to pursue phds took time off between undergrad and grad school. don’t put too much pressure on yourself to have things perfectly figured out right now. if you’re struggling with your application it could be a sign. it’s always good to check in with yourself. 

[hailiguyotte941]

Virtual Sketchbook1 ...8/24/2022

1. My name is Haili Guyotte. Im 19 years old. Born in Newhampshire but raised in Venice FL. One fact about me if that this year I found out I was pregnant with my first child. Im currently 20 weeks and super excited. We don't know the gender just yet, we are  having the reveal next weekend.

2. The artwork that I got is a Self Potrait by Alic Neel       -Alice Neel preferred to paint the intricacies of the human condition. She called herself a “collector of souls".      -The artist often conveyed the struggles of poverty in her portraits      -Alice Neel painted many pictures of high profile peopleduring her time.       -This painting shows Alice at 80 years old, sititng in a chair in her studio      -Alice Neel's daughter died of Diphtheria

3. When I first saw this photo I thought that it was just a painting of someone the artist painted. I learned that it is actually a  painting of the artist herself. The emotion that I feel when looking at this photo has to do with the old age. Alice is  80 years old in this painting, well into her life. It was very brave of the artist to depict herself comletely nude for everyone to see. With the old age I feel like it shows that at oen point in your life this is what happens to your body. Alice was  vulnerable to show this and I dont think she was afraid to or felt that she needed to hide anything. We should all realize that our bodies are a work of art and not something to compare to other.

This piece of artwork was given to me by a local artist. He was a patient that I saw at work and he talked to me about his passion in making pottery. He had a few copies of some of his sketches and wnated me to have one. I aksed him to write it out to my mom and I gave it to her. His name was Neal Adams. This is a Graphite pencil sketch of a piece of pottery he had an idea to create. This artwork serves as a template for the artist to use when creating the pottery piece so he can use it to guide him to make the artwork look like his design. I think this is beautiful. This shows an artist creativity and imagination to what he or she is about to create.

The type of baggage I bring along when looking at art would be anxiety. Certain types of art can trigger me or make me think things that I do not want to think. Something like horror type of art would most likely bother me. Or I can find something in art that may just look creepy. I am 21 years old, my birthday is the last day of January. I am a female, my clothign style can be lazy or tomboyish and then other days I like dressing in dresses and wearing makeup. I was born in New Hampshire but have lived in Florida since I was a baby. My ethnicity is white, my family would most likelyrelate to an italian family because my nana used to be married to an italian man and my mom and aunts were all raised by that man. For fun I like to do diy projects, I find joy in creating something weather its a decoration or has a functional purpose. I am not associated with any types of groups. I work at a dental office in Nokomis. My kindness and toughness makes me uniquely me. I am usually very easy going and sweet, but at the same time I think logically and I always want to get down to business.

I am fascinated by how I manage to figure stuff out. Im still figuring out life and never really had a parent that pushed me or guided me in life. Ive had to grow up quickly. I love that I have friends and some family that surround me with love. Im grate ful for the things I have in my life that others may not have.

[polizwrites]

WIP Update - 13 Apr 2022

Another productive week!  I touched 7 fics (5 WIPs & 2 new works) for a total of  2603 words.   I posted the WinterHawk Harry Potter AU collab with @faustess, which was my 300th fic on Ao3!!

I’m up to 12 active WIPs  (with a couple of maybe TBCs)  with my current   deadlines being the WinterHawk Bingo  and Stucky Bingo which wrap up the end of May.  

On the crafting side, I have  two Stuffed With Character commissions  slots open for April at the moment.

See below cut for the WIPs  (arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc) I am working on  -   feel free to send me prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding any of these projects   (or any other WIPs I’ve got out there) – they really help feed the Muse and keep me motivated!

Never More to Go Astray (Stuckony Star Wars AU)

The Muse is poking me to make this a longer fic with at least 6 chapters to get through two rounds of POVs.  Huge thanks to RudeArrow, who  is doing an AMAZING job of brainstorming and beta’ing with me!!  Chapter 5 (Bucky POV)  is sitting at 400 words.  I’ve got a couple of  BBB squares that could fit with this - will have to give that some thought. Current Last Line:   “How come I’m the errand boy?”  

Going All In - IronBones Ficlet

After responding to @kahuna-burger‘s rarepair shipping ask, the Muse whispered in my ear and I’m currently  1225 words into a smutty ficlet where a young!Tony gets his aggressively flirty bluff called by a junior SHIELD agent who is clearly not as straight as anyone (including himself) thinks.  If all goes well, I plan to get this posted by the end of the month. Current Last Line: “Huh.” Brock stood there, brow furrowed in thought.

WinterHawk Bingo - Round 3 [WHB_R3] (Runs thru 30 Apr 2022)

Seven fills posted - three WIPs at the moment - shooting for a Row 1 bingo at minimum with a stretch goal of Column N.   Need to keep my focus on this bingo!

* B1 - Red Room!Clint -  You Can’t Stop it with a Gun -  Young Clint is given the choice between going to jail or joining a shadowy organization - but this time it’s not SHIELD.   Chapter 1 posted yesterday to fill  Day 12 of the @agonyapril2022  Challenge and came in at 636 words.   Chapter 2  is coming in at 994 words  and will post on the 15th for that day’s Agony April prompt.  Hoping to wrap the fic up with a third (maybe fourth?) chapter by the end of May.

B2 - Stuck in Elevator - Reworked my Flash Fiction Friday piece from a few weeks ago a little -  Elevated Teamwork   is now sititng at 679 words and will post to Ao3 next week. 

* B3 - Bucky Worries about Clint -  I may look at reworking/adding on to  At What Cost – the ficlet I posted for Day 1 of Agony April and that week’s Flash Fiction Friday – to see if I can squeeze it into this square as well. Currently sitting at 437 words.

* I1 - Harry Potter AU -    Part One: Avengers Assemble posted last  Friday!  It came in at  3275 words and also filled my  Bucky Barnes Bingo card square  Love at First Sight.  It was a blast to collab on this with the awesome @psychiccatpanda (aka Faustess)!   Faustess and I are talking about possibly making this a series (if it gets a good response) with each work told from a different POV and not necessarily chronological.  

* I4 - Clint meeting WS!Bucky  - Will use Chapter 2 of You Can’t Stop It with a Gun to fill this.

Stucky Bingo - Round 3 [SB R3] (Runs thru 31 May 2022)

Nineteen fills with 4 WIPs, one drabble ready to post  and a  couple of Vague Ideas. Shooting for a Column O bingo to start. 

* I2 - "You're taking all the stupid with you."  - used this towards last weekend’s  Stucky Bingo Discord Party Round Robin -  contributed 304 words toward the fic & will post the link once it is published.

N2 - KINK: Sexting  -  The amazing  @sunqueenwrites  (aka Dooba on Discord) and I  collabed on about 2200 words of  wrong number --> sexting --> phone sex  (with possible feels-catching)  over the last couple of days!  Wrong Number, Right Call  will also fill my BBB Sex Friends square; it needs a bit of polishing and getting into the right format for the texting workskin, but should be ready to publish by the end of the month!

* N5 - KINK: Sugar Daddy  - Working on a new chapter for  Takin’ What They’re Givin’ (‘Cause I’m Workin’ for a Livin’) - Pour Some Sugar  - Steve invites Bucky to meet him in New York for a weekend.   Currently up to 969  words. Current Last Line:  When it was on screen, it was covered in colorful tattoos that didn’t quite look real.  

* G4 - KINK: End of the world sex - got some help brainstorming during last month’s Discord server party -  I may be writing a porn parody of (some part of) Infinity War 😁  

* O2 - AU: A/B/O  - planning to use this on the next chapter of   Flawed Hypothesis, which is Steve POV and currently sitting at  69 words.  Faustess might be helping out on this as well? Current Last Line: But now they were living in a new century,  where men could love and marry other men.  

* ADOPTED2 : Incubi/succubi AU -  Combining this with a  @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt  of Setting Heaven On Fire,  and using a poem I wrote years & years ago as lead-in for a  Stucky-by-proxy fic  - currently sitting at 224 words. Current Last Line:    It’s not my fault if they consider it a sin.  

Steve | Tony | Bucky Bingo Round 2 [STBB R2]  (Runs thru 30 Jun 2022)

Nine fills, and two WIPs.  Taking advantage of the One Fill, One Bingo opportunity, and might get a Column B bingo as well.

* B4 - Working Out -  this came from a Bucky Barnes Bingo server party:   Binging Avengers Exercises -   the team posts their workouts online and modern!Bucky spends entirely too much time watching the channel - especially Captain America and Iron Man.

*  N2 - AU: Western  - possible crossover with MWAPB  Next Door Neighbors  – I have a decent idea for this one  (semi-inspired by a recent re-read of  Laura Ingalls Wilder A Long Winter)   and jotted down about 225 words’ worth of notes/VERY rough draft. May  hold on to this to see if I can crossflll with an upcoming TSB square.  

* O4 - Lazy Sunday Morning  -  have a smutty WinterIron idea for this one; need to get it jotted   down - will most likely cross over with my BBB  KINK: Edging square.

Started something to combining the following squares for the One Fill, One Bingo badge:    B5 - “Aliens, again?”, I5 - Lifeguard,  N5 - Barbeque,  G5 - River Rafting, O5 - Wakanda.    Avengers + Guardians in a partying mood = a huge headache for T’Challa.   It’s currently sitting at 339 words. Current Last Line:   I’m Sam, Sam Wilson – another friend of Steve’s.

Avengers Bingo [AvB] (Runs thru 24 Dec)

Two  fills posted and 0 WIPs - I decided to further challenge myself by pairing up each square with a unique combo of 2 original MCU Avengers! With the help of the STB Enthusiasts Discord folks - I’ve got all 16 squares   planned out, at least in terms of who to write about, and half of them have some sort of idea or crossover square to go along with them. Feel free to toss other plot  bunnies my way…  

* A2 - On the Run  - Natasha & Steve - crossover with  MWAPB - Farmer’s Market?   post CA:CW Wakanda ?

*  A4 - Mutual Pining  - Steve/Thor - crossover with  MWAPB - Thor.

* A3 - Reunited  -   Clint & Natasha  -  Endgame Ronin scene?

*  B3 - Road Trip  -  Bruce & Thor  - Post Grandmaster, pre-Thanos  space shenanigans

*  C1 - Opposites Attract - Clint/Thor  - there was a fun Tumblr  headcanon going around about a Bumbling Foreigner whose ignorance of  local customs  results in him flirting with/proposing to the prince -  this seems like a perfect matchup!  

* C3 - Reincarnation AU  -  Natasha & Tony  - post-Endgame

* C4 - Bodyguard AU  -  Thor/Tony  -  young!Tony - crush on Cap plays into attraction  (obvious title - Thunderstruck)  - holding on this til next round of TSB.  

* D1 - Friends w/ Benefits  - Clint/Steve - crossover with MWAPB Hawkeye/Clint Barton.

D2 - Romeo & Juliet AU  -  basic idea:  Steve (jock) & Tony  (geek) trying out for title roles in R&J - despite their respective  friend groups thinking it’s a terrible idea.  Both cliques end up  becoming friends.  

*  D3 - Bed Sharing  -  Bruce/Natasha - AoU compliant.

Man With a Plan (Steve Rogers) Bingo [MWAPB] (Runs thru 31 Dec)

Four fills, 1 WIPs and several Vague Ideas. Still need to cross check this against my Bucky Barnes Bingo card!

* B2 - Next Door Neighbors  - see  STBB   AU: Western  above

* B3 - Farmer’s Market  - see  AvB On the Run above

* I3 - Thor  - see AvB Mutual Pining above

* N1 - School AU/Teacher AU  - if I decide to continue on with Technicalities (see Stucky Bingo  College AU above)  - I could fill this square  :: ponders::

*  O2 - Sex Pollen  -  Teenage Groot pollen =  aphrodesia  hijinks. Quill & Gamora  warn the  couple (stucky)/throuple (Stuckony)  ahead of time, so no  dub-con.

* O3 - Hawkeye/Clint Barton  -  see AvB - Friends w/ Benefits  above.

Bucky Barnes Bingo - Round 4 [BBB_R4] (Runs thru 7 Jan 2023)

One fill and  two WIPs -  looks like I’m already in good shape to start with  a Row 4 and/or Column K bingo!

* B1 - KINK: Sex Friends  - see  SB_R3  KINK: Sexting above.

* B3 - Sam Wilson|Falcon - this would be a good candidate for a continuation of After One Or Two False Starts

* B4 - Yelena Belova - wrote a 455-word  ficlet for this last Monday: Reconnaissance - Yelena looking for information about her sister.   Planning to post this on Friday.

* U4 - AU: Arranged Marriage - will probably pick Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion  back up for this one.  

* C1 - Merpeople  - possibly add a new chapter (or second work in a series) to   Something’s Starting Right Now

* K2 - Comics - sew the  Stuffed Marvel Classic Comics Bucky Barnes I drew up last month.  

* K3 - KINK: Edging  - see STB Lazy Sunday Morning above.

* K4 - Love at First Sight  - see WinterHawk Bingo   Harry Potter AU square above

* Y2 - Never the fall that kills you -  this might be the title for the remix I want to do of @hddnone​‘s   Seeds of Love  - holding off on this til I get my TSB card, as I wanted to carry over my Secret Admirer square for this as well. 

————

On other creative fronts:  I finished Audrey II and have a Godzilla and Buck Atoms in the works.  I currently have 2 April commission slots available.  

if  you’re looking for one of a kind gifts (for a friend or something for yourself!)  you can plan ahead for  the next holiday season and check   out Stuffed With Character    over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 80!).   They’re  mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star   Trek, DC   and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design  requests  for any fandom!