#id.kim jiyeon

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LOADING INFORMATION ON JAWBREAKER’S LEAD VOCAL, LEAD DANCE HAN MINJU...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: Siena CURRENT AGE: 22 DEBUT AGE: 17 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 13 COMPANY: KJH SECONDARY SKILL: Acting

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): Sina, given by her fans as a simple shortening of her stage name; Baby Giraffe, given by her family and soon spread among her members and fans, one would think it’s because she supposedly has a long neck but Minju was very tall when she was still a kid and her legs stood out, plus she was very clumsy and got hurt easily; Crying Baby, she cries easily and that’s known to the fans since the day they had their first win with La Ta Ta. INSPIRATION: As for people that she looks up to and aspires to become like them, Minju has in mind a couple of female soloists and groups, like Boa, Lee Hyori and Nixie. They were overall important figures that she had in mind before starting her training and even after when she became a trainee. SPECIAL TALENTS:

Sports: surprisingly, despite her usual clumsy behavior, Minju is very good at sports and events such as ISAC are meant to show that off. She can do archery decently and she has strong legs proper for running fast.

Ice skating: did for a very short while when she was a kid and wanted to become a figure skater. It has been years since she properly practiced but she can still pull a few decent movements.

Tongue twisters: while rapping is not her specialty (not even by far), during her training period Minju was told to practice tongue twisters to be able to improve her pronunciation and her breathing. After debuting, it became something she’d use on variety and radio shows.

NOTABLE FACTS:

Was a student at Hanlim Multi Art School from 2011 to 2014.

Has an older sister who also auditioned to Midas, but differently from Minju, her sister had success in her audition.

Started acting in the webdrama ‘Twenty Years Old’.

Despite all the lack of promotion for HER.oine, Singularity still tried to put Minju in a couple of dramas and fans complained saying she was being selfish for thinking about her career only. 

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

After almost losing this, Minju came to the realization that perhaps she’d miss this career more than she originally anticipated so, as cheesy as it may sound, she wants to make better use of the time she has in her group. Since she was highly criticized for her lack of enthusiasm in the ending years of HER.oine, she wants to prove those comments wrong by showing how invested she is in this, mainly by working in group related schedules and perfecting her performances and stage presence.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

Minju is, in some ways, pretty involved with acting and despite her bad start with it, she truly enjoys that aspect of her career and wishes to move into acting as something serious in the future if given the opportunity by KJH. But acting is not the only way she wants to use to keep herself in the industry and if she’s being true to herself, some wishful thoughts towards a solo career in music also popped up during some occasions.

IDOL IMAGE

She’s seventeen when she debuts, and she’s trilled and nervous and she feels like she’ll throw up as soon as she steps on the stage for their first performance as HER.oine.

She doesn’t and things end perfectly from her part. She’s rushing with adrenaline and pure joy and tears. She finally made it to debut despite of everything. After their debut stage, Minju became addicted to the feeling, of being up there in the spotlights with people cheering and screaming and showing their smiles and singing with them. She’d deal with everything that came with the job if that meant she’d be able to stand on the stage again.

In the beginning, the image they started selling was of a big-eyed, soft featured little sister. She’s young and innocent and that kind of image works well in contrast with her charismatic persona on stage. Singularity may not have done a good job in many things during the time Jawbreaker was still HER.oine but marketing Siena as their little girl with enchanting presence worked well during the four comebacks they had under that name.

Siena is not sweet nor has a stunningly beautiful image, she doesn’t look like a princess who came out from a fairytale and doesn’t speak sweetly or stumble over her words. She’s charming and smiles easily, she also has a funny laugh that is simply contagious. She’s not blunt. She knows her place, knows she must be perfect if she wants people to like her, but the younger child syndrome hits her from time to time and it works because people think it’s adorable. They buy this persona, the easy-going girl who looks wild when she’s performing but when she’s out of it, she’s just a regular-pretty-girl-who-smiles-at-everyone.

She has been acting for a while, but no one really notices. She acts when she’s having a bad day but must keep up with schedules and practice. She acts when she spends the day dieting and she’s starving, but she still says she’s fine. So, when she starts acting professionally, she tries to be extra careful. Siena must fit in the molds, she can’t rush herself, she must be composed and be elegant. She’s not chic, she doesn’t know how to act like that, and a silly smile will often popup in her face because being idol-Siena is much easier than being actress-Siena. That Siena is closer to whom Minju really is even though the real her lives under layers and layers of makeup and fancy-looking clothes. Her fans are happy to see her engage in new projects even if they aren’t necessarily good, some netizens just don’t buy it and say she wants to divert from her original path. The negativity didn’t stop Singularity from trying and suddenly, there she was again.

In KJH nothing much changes. She works with the carefree type of personality. Her fans like it and as far as she knows, what makes them happy, makes the company happy. Things are slightly different about her concept though, she’s nearing her 24ndbirthday in Korea and she wants to show that despite starting very young, she’s now a grown woman, and KJH seems okay to accept that because it will also help to establish a more solid image for their group. They are all grown women now and Siena wants to show them for what they are here for.

IDOL HISTORY

There is not one extraordinary plan. Minju worked with bigger events, big expectations and want to be too many things all at once. From teacher to veterinarian, a professional ice skater or even an artistic gymnast, she thought about following her mother’s career as a radio producer or become a lawyer like her father. Every other week she’d have things figured out and solved in her head, problems that would never happen under her watchful eyes, every other week she’d be something different. At the little age of thirteen she decided she wanted to be a singer and the difference that time was that the idea stuck with her for a long time.

The story of how her parents met remained a mystery in parts because it would slightly change every time any of the kids asked them how it happened. Her mother’s passion for music was evident and her father always looked at her in awe whenever she played some instrument or sang the chorus of a song she dearly appreciated. The three siblings would plan pranks and play for the whole day and in the end, the one thing that worked to sooth them to sleep were the couple of minutes of lullabies or stories told by the grownups.

She didn’t think of her life as boring but perhaps it could look like it for some people.

They grew up listening to music, given their mother’s background with the whole thing. Minju remembered how they tried to teach her music theory when she was younger and how excited she became when she got into class and realized she already knew some of that stuff. Her mother was the one teaching her guitar and sometimes, when she could, she’d sneak Minju into the studio where she worked after weeks of insistence from Minju’s side.

She honestly loved it. She loved music and loved singing and dancing with her father and despite already having a foot in the industry due to her mother’s connections, she didn’t think much about it until her sister mentioned she’d be trying to audition for Midas later that year. In the meantime, she weighted her thoughts. Be an idol was such an appealing idea, but she heard the discussions between her sister and their parents, and her mother specially, didn’t sound very pleased with the idea. Was only when she watched Boa performing on television that she made up her mind and perhaps it could be the aftereffects of the explosions and choreography, but she decided then that she’d be just like her role model. Her mother’s worries could only be normal, after all, she was their mother, so Minju decided to not worry with her worries.

She wasn’t as well prepared as her sister, obviously. Her sister was preparing for this fated day for months while Minju made her mind about it just a couple of weeks prior to the audition. In the end her sister was more successful than her in the attempt to be scouted and Minju felt the mix of happiness but also bitterness swirling inside of her. She remined herself that she couldn’t live out of raw expectations of good and great when she did nothing to deserve it, it didn’t mean the sour feeling simply faded away.

A couple of weeks later when the auditions for Singularity opened, Minju was once again on the game, this time by herself, relatively less confident of a positive response but more well prepared for what was about to come. It happened that since she had low expectations, all the results seem to be better than the expected and when they released the results and she saw she made it in, she was so happy she cried on the spot.

For months she lived just on the adrenaline of being accepted into a company. She trained hard and did all that was asked to her. She tried her best and gave her all, then things started getting lonely and being pushed for longer hours and eating less demanded so much more effort from her, but she refused to give up even though the thought did go through her head more than once after eight months of training.

Singularity wasn’t a company that she necessarily saw herself connect with. She didn’t feel like she had freedom to work herself in the best way, but when they started wanting to push her into acting training all together with the remaining classes she had to take, she started thinking that perhaps they had great plans for her.

When she was about to complete four years in the company, the news of a new girl group under their label were released and she was so excitedly tired when she told her parents that she was one of the trainees chosen to be part of the group.

HER.oine debuted and once again Minju started living under the adrenaline of the following months. And then they went on a hiatus and she became demotivated. The following comebacks were made based in the same formula. A preparation for the next comeback and then she’d be in high spirits while they were able to perform and then she’d be back to an unmotivated state because Singularity was uncapable of promoting them right.

She loved performing and loved being on the stage and that’s probably the main reason why she kept going and endured the entire situation. Because she wanted to give her best while singing to their two songs. She expected more and better of their debut and when she thought things couldn’t turn out sourer, Singularity decided to push her into webdramas that only created conflict among HER.oine’s fans and gave Minju a spot as selfish and greedy for neglecting the girls and having a very premature debut as an actress.

She almost didn’t sign up with KJH when they came from the skies and saved HER.oine from imminent disbandment after the fall of Singularity. Her members were the ones influencing in her decision and in the end, she was won by the pure pressure and insistence of her band mates to sign with them. She almost gave up not because she didn’t like doing it even though idol life was never easy to begin with, but she was so addicted to the feeling of being able to perform and receive the love from the fans that she didn’t mind that the system was a mess and sickening.

She doesn’t mind that they are in the bottom because she never truly felt like they were that high anyways. They have people expecting things from them. KJH wanting to know if they were a good investment, their fans who are probably looking for better management, the members wanting to know if this will work because that’s what she asks herself every day. There are a couple of life trials that she doesn’t know how to deal with, but she tries. Sometimes she gets tired of trying but she keeps going because, in her head, at some point, this will reveal to be worthy of the struggle.

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON CHERRY BOMB!’S MAIN RAP IM NAHYUN...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: Nana CURRENT AGE: 25 DEBUT AGE: 18 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 14 COMPANY: MSG SECONDARY SKILL: Lyric writing

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): spring fairy, pd-nim (mostly because of her videos, since she’s the one producing and editing all the content that goes there, even though it still passes by MSG’s approval note), fanservice queen INSPIRATION: She always loved music and everything there was about it. She started learning how to play when she was young and once she was given the chance to become much like her own idols, she didn’t think twice before jumping into it. SPECIAL TALENTS:

Her fingers are very quick in the sense that she can type things fast (80WPM). She uses that skill mostly for gaming, but it proved to be handy once she started to edit her YouTube videos.

Tongue-twisters

Proved to be quite strong when she lifted Defconn on her back and carried him around the studio once when CB! appeared on the show

NOTABLE FACTS:

She admitted what fans have been saying for years now. She’s a homebody and enjoys staying inside more than going out;

Because of her YouTube channel, she became more prone to get acquainted with people and because of it her idol network grew in the last couple of years;

She’s known for being supportive of younger groups on social media;

She used to go busking before becoming a trainee in MSG;

Is very scared of loud noises (fireworks, for example).

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

Before exploring her options outside of what is adequate for CB! now, Nahyun wants them to stabilize their name as a group first. Even though it has been quite a while since their debut, she wants them to have an overall grounded and all-rounded image before moving forwards. Not only that but she wants to build a stronger image for herself which also includes dedicating more in training and her YouTube Channel.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

She wants to gain money from her own productions (lyrics and posteriorly, producing) so she can afford a better house to her family. She also wants to have more space to grow while an idol who produces videos for a platform such as YouTube which is a chance to expand the public’s perspectives about her as an artist overall besides simply showing her grace as a funny or witty person. Of course, she wants to keep with the most fun aspect of the channel, but she also wants to show the process of making music and approach more delicate subjects as well.

IDOL IMAGE

She’s almost introduced as a blank canvas who needs work and patience to become a masterpiece but in truth, the ways of showing that off just didn’t make her true colors shine properly in the beginning. But she’s a young girl when they make their debut, and she wants to prove herself worthy of her place in the group. Her eagerness makes it easy to mold her in a way that’d best benefit them, so they keep her on that track.

At first, she’s the rapper who doesn’t rap. The pretty girl who has not much to offer besides some mediocre dancing skills and passable singing ability. She saw herself in that manner, even though she had spent years practicing to avoid such conclusions. But it’s not how it turned out to be in the long term. Despite the few comments about her lack of skills, fans started blurring out that fact to praise her performance. How she winked and waived and smiled at every direction at once and cheered the audience up when she could, and how she became a star when her (few) parts of their songs came up.

Instead of being labeled as the pretty girl of the group or being called useless for the lack of rapping parts on CB!’s discography or because they were executed poorly in comparison to others, she was taken as a little box of surprises.

Charisma wasn’t something that she ever imagined to be remembered for, but people liked to see her performance on the stage, how she wasn’t simply the girl-next-door she made them fall in love with but also someone cool and confident.

When she opens her channel, things turn out clearer. The freedom she felt when she started uploading her works despite still having to pass through authorization from the company. The public starts getting glimpses of Jihee who’s clumsy and strangely competitive, of someone who smiles way too much and laughs in a funny way. Jihee worries she may be showing way too much when she talks about the struggles, but most times she’s refrained for releasing too serious videos, she’s an entertainer and for that to happen, she needs to be stable and happy.

So that’s what she becomes. In and out of stage, in front of her camera or in the studio. Someone who people will easily related and sympathetic looking to ease hearts of people who need. A person who’s charismatic and have strong stage presence and has apparently a second nature for fanservice. It works, it fulfills the fans and make the company happy, having their seemly “ordinary” girl.

IDOL HISTORY

Im Nahyun was born into a comfortable family. They weren’t wealthy, but they certainly weren’t poor either. Both her parents had their respective jobs and there wasn’t a day that they’d go without a meal. She had a nice life for most part of her childhood. She played with the neighbors and was a smart kid praised at school. She liked to spend her spare time in the classrooms, it was peaceful and quiet, and she often learnt a thing or two after the classes were finished. She learnt to play the piano and the guitar since her family didn’t have the money to pay for classes and even less to buy the instrument for their house. It was, undoubtedly an easy to life to live.

Then they lost it all.

Well, not all as per say, but their family got in serious problems because of the economic crisis. She didn’t understand much back then. She knew her father lost his job and they started relying on their mother. Her older brother decided to take a job in some fast food chain since he was old enough, but Nahyun was still too young to do the same and her father started getting too busy drinking himself into oblivion to keep trying to get a job.

She started busking. Or at least tried. There wasn’t much a thirteen years old could do to get money. She was a terrible cook so she couldn’t make pastries to sell, she didn’t think people would accept her help in the restaurants or stores either, even if hidden for pure fear of losing the little stability they had, so Nahyun tried the one things she knew she could do fairly well.

Singing in public was a challenge but she was welcomed by the few passerby. The fact that she was a little cute girl must have helped to get the attention of at least a couple of people during her evenings after school. A year passed and their situation got a little better. They weren’t in such a critical state anymore and her mother could breath easier and not take so much extra hours at work. Her father remained the same useless piece of meat, but she bothered less with it now.

It happened in one evening. Nahyun was in her usual place, in the usual time, she had just finished for the day when a short woman – shorter than her she remembered – approached her. She said she was from MSG, an entertainment company. The woman told her that if she was interested, they were opening for new trainees soon, she promised that Nahyun had what was necessary to become someone big and eventually make a lot of money. In the end, she gave her the business card before finally leaving.

She was as warry as she should be with the offer. She checked the number in the business card online, searched if anyone had ever been randomly approached and scouted like she was, she asked for guidance from her mother and sweet and nice as always, she answered that if she didn’t find any holes in the woman’s narrative, then why not give a try. So she did.

If compared to the others, she didn’t have anything especially elaborated when the day come. She wasn’t even sure if it was a good idea to give it a try so she dealt with the situation as if she was preparing to one more of the busking sessions, the difference this time would be that she was in a very well illuminated building in front of people who looked quite intimidating.

The results arrived a couple of weeks later and she had packing to do because she apparently wasn’t staying with her parents anymore.

She was a vocalist because that’s all that she ever knew what to do. When she started in MSG, she didn’t know how to dance, she didn’t act and she didn’t model, she didn’t rap. In the beginning of her training she was put with the other new kids to evaluation, and then after a couple of months, she was sent to have vocal training. But those classes were slightly different from the ones she had prior. She wasn’t being taught to reach low as well as high notes, she was being told of how to control her breathing while she spoke, she wasn’t being trained to become a vocalist, she was being instructed of how to become a rapper.

She was beyond upset and understandably. She didn’t sign up for this, she wasn’t supposed to become something that she wasn’t, she didn’t leave her home to do this. But as a trainee there was little she could do, her voice was still too small, too insignificant. She thought of quitting but then was reminded of the excuse of man laid in the sofa back in her house and thought otherwise. She could be many things, but she wouldn’t be a coward and dropout like her father.

Endure it for a little longer, breath and count to ten, don’t let them get to you, you can do it, somehow you can do it.

They tell her that as long as she has a good presence on stage and leave people content, no one will condemn her for her unnatural rapping skills. She wants to believe them but after a couple of years in the training system, she realized girls had it harder in different ways. She should be perfect for her debut, not just fine or okay. But she was gracious enough, she had the beauty and the smile, and she was okay in everything, average, nothing special besides her looks.

She debuted with Cherry Bomb! In 2012 and she had to look forward., never look back, always look forward.

Things as a trainee were already tough enough. The starvation they made they go through, the constant training and daily goals they had to archive. Nahyun was undoubtedly better when it came to dance and her rapping had improved greatly if compared to the times when she had started – though she wasn’t as good as other, she reminded herself. When they debut, things were increasingly more stressful it seemed.

As the years went by and the public just got used to the fact that her rapping was never so good in comparison to other groups, but she still had a killer stage presence. Nahyun started feeling more at ease to open up to different areas besides the basics. She started taking music classes in the company whenever she had spare time and took pleasure out of writing. It worked as a diary in the beginning – writing lyrics – sometimes they were mushy, other times they were just sad, but for a long while they remained hidden in the notebook she kept under the pillow.

People liked her when she appeared on TV shows somehow. Her wit and sense of humor were pretty much what attracted the public, but it wasn’t enough to attract as much attention or to guarantee her a spot as a variety person. Then the idea of creating a YouTube channel showed up. It was a trend; make-up artists were doing it and there were a couple of her colleagues who were in that same path. In mid-2016, with her company’s authorization and a clumsy vlog of her day, Nahyun started what seemed to be a very successful idea as long as she could tell.

At first, it doesn’t change her routine as much. It’s only her talking to a camera like she had done a couple of times for TV but this time the schedule is hers. She decided what things she’d do and with who she’d film, of what they would talk about and what she’d want to show. But then she started going fond of this way of communicating with the fans and she knew that more than seeing her videos, they’d want to see more of how this worked. She started with her members, showing glimpses of them here and there when she could, then people from MSG started making cameos and people who she never imagined she’d have the courage to approach also became part of vlogs. It became a way of making acquittances almost.

Time was sparse of course, even considering herself as the least busy member, there were still many things to deal with. They had multiple comebacks a year and she promised to push herself every time they were back on stage, the image of her father always present in her head. The public never found out that she had an unemployed drunk as a father and for that she was grateful. She also started contributing for CB!’s discography which came as a surprise since the company was giving her that kind of creative freedom. She wanted to make something out of that. She wanted to stand out from the box she was trapped. She knew she was better than what she was doing but she had to have the will to build a path of her own and get to where she wanted to head.

Easier said than done.

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON JINX’S MAIN DANCE IM HAEUN...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: Anna CURRENT AGE: 25 DEBUT AGE: 18 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 14 COMPANY: Midas SECONDARY SKILL: Variety

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): Bunny, Turtle (because there’s a variety of her pictures where she’s carrying the cello on her back, making her lean forward), Mochi (because she used to have bigger and squishier cheeks when she was a trainee). INSPIRATION: She’s a big fan of music since she was younger, seeing people performing looked really fun and she was absolutely captivated with the idea of being on stage. She was a cheerleader when she was younger but it wasn’t what she was looking for because what she actually wanted to do was to become an artist. SPECIAL TALENTS:

Haeun knows how to play a whole bunch of instruments (guitar, piano, flute, bass and cello)

She can create absurd ad-lib choreographies; they aren’t necessarily great, just absurd in a funny way

She’s very flexible

NOTABLE FACTS:

Haeun graduated in the Seoul School of Performing Arts

She has a sibling who’s also an idol/will debut soon

Is the radio host for her own show starting in 2018

Has a Youtube channel where she posts little sneak peeks of her life, plays songs with different instruments and tries to have some fun with her fans

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

She wants to get better at working in variety as a whole. Being in the business for this long also means some of the things she did in the shows started to get outdated or overused, so she wants to try different things, with different approaches.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

She wants to get herself a fixed spot in some variety show, she wishes she can build a strong base in the business, just enough so she could do more personal shows that also get aired in television and not only her Youtube channel (such as Hyori’s Bed and Breakfast).

IDOL IMAGE

She’s all smiles and it’s hard not to fall for the angelic and sweet image she portrays even if Jinx is far from being considered pure. An amazing performer she is, being the main dancer didn’t allow her to have much of the spotlight in their usual routines, but whenever she stood in the center, it got harder and harder to look away. Her gaze’s enchanting.

She knows how to sell her image. She’s great at doing what the fans like. She waves, she winks, she smiles, she holds their hands and she laughs, she knows which charming traits she has, she doesn’t shy away. She keeps on with the chit chatting, she listens and she gives off the image of the forever-younger sister who’ll offer some help if needed.

When she performs, the same eyes are there staring at the many cameras that faces them. Mysterious and bold, so sure of the message she wants to carry, so easy to fell for. She’s charismatic, she plays well her role when she’s on the stage dancing. Completely professional and prepared, she does her job greatly.

She thought, before debuting, that she’d be exposed as the little sister from Jinx, the cute one who played instruments to show off and to make others feel either jealous or proud. Once she debuted however, Midas decided to put her traits to good use, she’d be their enchanting girl.

IDOL HISTORY

Born and raised in Busan, it didn’t come as a surprise when Haeun told her father a secret.

The girl was just another pretty face in the bunch of kids but she knew how to play more instruments than most of her classmates, she was a hundred percent sure of it. She didn’t have many people who she’d like to spend time with back then. Puberty perhaps, she wanted to be left with the friends she knew for years instead of making effort to approach people.

If it wasn’t for the company of a couple of friends she had from her neighborhood and for her older brothers, she’d probably feel left out in that school, with no one she knows, no one she could talk to. She was never good at starting conversations, let alone talk to someone she barely knew. Her palms get sweaty and she avoids eye contact as much as she can. She can barely stutter a proper word without looking like a fool. But there were people who saw past that, who found it cute or amusing and kept her by their side until she was comfortable enough to laugh loudly and speak freely.

Her parents received notes from her school when she was younger saying she’d have a hard time growing up if they didn’t find a way to make her open up.  That’s when they decided to put her in dancing classes. For some reason they thought it would be a good idea to put her in a room with talented kids who could move their bodies as they wanted. She appreciated their effort though, and even more after a couple of months when she started to enjoy her classes in the studio more and more with time. She wasn’t the best in the class, but she proudly put herself in the top ten among the kids her age. She started feeling comfortable, leaving her shell, as mellow as it may sound. The dancing classes were so much different from her piano classes or the cello ones, even though she enjoyed carrying the later one around just to show off her skills. Being capable of showing emotions through the sound was amazing and she enjoyed that just right, but demonstrating her feelings through her body made her feel ecstatic.

She was in middle school and there were pamphlets saying there would be auditions to enter the cheerleading team. Haeun was confident when she stepped in and made the sports court hers. Older Haeun was more open to people, she smiled more and looked cheerful and pretty. She won her spot but she felt something was still missing.

At the age of fourteen, one of her friends offered her one ticket for a music festival that would be happening in Busan and she accepted. She loved the whole thing. She imagined herself standing where the artists were now singing; she imagined how good it would be to look at the audience and to feel the heat from that unique moment.

When she came back home talking nonsense about becoming an artist, the first thing her father did was chuckle at the cute behavior. The youngest in the house wanting to waste her time with that kind of nonsense would eventually be forgotten. Her father didn’t pay much attention to her at the time, saying it was just a phase and it would pass.

It didn’t pass, and her father started to realize that perhaps denying Haeun a chance to prove herself wasn’t for the best. She could do as she wanted as in auditioning in Seoul and once she was rejected, things would turn back to normal. He wasn’t certain on how to keep things at bay since his wife passed away two years prior and he had to take care of three kids on his own.

Haeun was aware of the not-so-encouraging thoughts of her father and she knew her older brother shared the same thoughts. Already in his last year of high school, he believed there were things more important than play singer, Haeun should be focusing in studying so she could bring money home eventually. She didn’t take those thoughts at heart, she knew he was stressed, being the oldest one, having to take exams to have a higher education and working as a part-timer in cafés. The middle child however, she knew her older brother by one year shared the same thoughts as her. She knew he’d sing in his room when he thought there was no one at home, she knew he was talented and wanted to become a singer just as much as she did. But he was just as or even more reserved than Haeun was when she was a little girl, he just needed a little push.

Her father accompanied Haeun to Seoul. He was surprised to notice that she wasn’t the only one shaking nervously, he was also very anxious about the whole thing. He saw as she started to get scared when trainees left the room in tears saying they blanked out and didn’t do anything in front of the judges and that they were definitely out. It was Midas they were talking about anyways. When it was her turn, she received a kiss in the forehead and when Haeun came back from the room, she had a grin that went from ear to ear. They only had to wait a little longer to know the results.

In November of 2008, Haeun became Midas newest acquisition and she was scared shitless. She’d be moving somewhere with people she didn’t know, she’d practice with people who were probably much better than her, but at the same time she was excited. She didn’t want to disappoint her family or herself, so she made a vow to herself to not let them down in any circumstance.

She hated practicing at first, but she did it all the time because she didn’t feel she’d make a good first impression on others and she guessed the girl from Busan with heavy accent would not be the easiest target to approach really. Although confident in her dancing trainings, singing lessons were actually a hell to go through. She wasn’t good like her brother, not even near that, so she found it absurd that she managed to get a spot in a famous company in her first try but he had to give it many shots until one of them finally saw the potential in him.

Haeun found herself throwing and turning in her bed at night at the prospect that perhaps she wouldn’t be good enough to carry this on.

One of the trainees approached her at the time, the first one to say more than greetings towards her. They had noticed she was having a hard time and even though they were competing against each other, it didn’t necessarily mean they wouldn’t help a fellow keep her sleep intact. Singing trainings became a little less tiresome when she had people willing to help her with the small things.

From then on, things were easier to deal with, even though the whole process was stressful enough as it is. Four years flied.

Jinx and the whole concept that surrounded the group wasn’t exactly what she expected to be included, even though she felt she was in heaven when they told her and the rest of the girls they would be debuting soon.

Their debut was huge and Anna could feel the thrill running in her blood. The shy and young girl who was simply following a child’s dream was finally standing on the stage and she loved everything in the beginning, even tired she didn’t dare to complain, afraid that if she did, she’d break the spell and she’d be throw out.

She worked like a mule. Schedules were insane and she felt like she needed to sleep for four days to be capable of surviving. She still didn’t complain, she endured it. She’d look out for her members, even though she’s not the oldest of the group, she still could make sure they didn’t pass out in the couch or spent the day without at least eating rice. She wished they’d survive.

As their popularity started to stabilize, Haeun thought she’d be capable of relaxing but more projects came towards her. First, there were the variety shows that she started going on her own, her witty remarks and funny responses usually wouldn’t be accepted for a female artist, but the different behavior was well received for standing out from the usual norm most girl groups were obligated to sell, the irony. Radio shows happened mostly during the night, and Anna’s soft voice, although not appropriate to sing high notes was still nice to listen while falling asleep.

Things at home were better, they weren’t having problems with money anymore. Hwangjung was about to graduate in Law School and her brother was practicing until his limbs felt numb. Their father was doing great too, he didn’t look so preoccupied anymore.

Surviving in the business for such a long time had its perks, but people start to get curious about certain things. The biggest scandal with her name in it was probably when she was caught in a “date” with some male idol. Leaving the black hole that was a mess. Being a part of Jinx and Midas meant she couldn’t get caught in something as simple as dating. Rumors of their relationship were denied but some people never forget and never forgive.

A couple of months before making their comeback with Up and Down, Anna created, with the permission of her company, a Youtube channel where she surprised everyone with videos of simple things such as talking nonsense to cooking meals or playing something the fans wanted to listen to. She wasn’t expecting much out of the whole thing, she wanted however to share a few things that she thought to be interesting to keep for posteriority. She was capable of communicating better than before, she thought that keeping track of her progresses would somehow keep her motivated to keep on going.

In retrospect, Anna was nothing like Haeun really. Anna’s charming and bubbly and outgoing where Haeun was shy and awkward. Anna knows how to play with the audience and to win their hearts, something Haeun from ten years prior would be unable to do. It’s two different people who became one. Who became Im Haeun.